Issuu

D Smith

INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY

Last week I led assemblies on Men’s Mental Health, to highlight International Men’s Day, November 19th. I have written to families before about a similar topic; following on from the show ‘Adolescence’ which sparked a national conversation about the dangers of toxic masculinity and the ‘incel’ subculture. However, with so much focus on the negatives of masculinity, I wanted to take this opportunity to explore what positive masculinity looks like, as well as tackling the often taboo topic of male mental health.

I asked all children to contribute towards the assembly by sending me the one word that came to their mind when they heard the word ‘man’. I started the assembly by sharing a ‘word cloud’ based on this. I found it fascinating that for the many positive words such as ‘strong’, ‘dad’ and ‘brave’, there were also words such as ‘reticent’, ‘scary’ and ‘struggling’.

During the assembly, I shared the report from the Centre for Social Justice entitled ‘Lost Boys’ to highlight the challenge facing young men in society today. The data I presented to learners is sobering and underscores the urgency of this conversation;

• In education from nursery to university, boys are falling behind girls.

• Since the pandemic, the number of young men aged 16-24 who are not in education, employment or training (NEET) has increased by 40%, whereas it is 7% for young women.

• The gender pay gap has now been reversed for full time workers aged 16-24.

• As stated in this report, ‘every case of suicide is a tragedy and for young people between the ages of 15 and 19, for every girl that took their own life, almost three and a half boys did likewise’

• Suicide is the biggest cause of death in young men.

As discussed with the children, the very scary fact is that most deaths in young men come from men taking their own lives. This is not because men are ‘weaker’; it’s a serious problem linked to the pressures of life and how men are culturally conditioned to respond to them. At the heart of the crisis is the ingrained cultural expectation for men to be ‘strong’ and ‘in control’. The harmful, often subconscious, message behind the phrase ‘Man up!’ is that vulnerability is a weakness, which makes it incredibly hard for young men to ask for help when they are struggling.

This cultural pressure is compounded by the confusion surrounding masculinity. While the term ‘toxic masculinity’ highlights negative behaviours, our goal must be to clearly champion ‘positive masculinity’ - a version of strength that includes emotional intelligence, kindness, and knowing when to seek support. The vacuum created by the lack of positive male role models in society and media has been filled by toxic figures such as Andrew Tate. Tate and other influencers tell a story to our children that aggression equals respect, that emotions are a weakness, and that being dominant is what it means to be strong. Messages of misogyny

Designated Safeguarding Lead

and toxic masculinity hurt both men and women. I also shared with the children that the idea of the ‘alpha male’ is based on a myth. Ethologists, scientists who study animal behaviour, created the term ‘Alpha’ based on the study of wolf packs in captivity. However, these were unrelated captive wolves where a dominance hierarchy was forming due to the stresses of captivity. In the wild, wolf packs are family units led by a breeding pair, who have ‘earned’ their position through cooperation and care. So in the wild, as in modern society, there are other ways to lead than being a ‘dominant’ Alpha male - by showing strength through cooperation and kindness.

Another aspect of the online world that develops toxicity is the idea promoted that feminism and men’s rights is a ‘zero sum game’. Many online communities (the ‘manosphere’) perpetuate the idea that gains for women’s equality has come at the direct expense of men. This narrative frames gender discussions as a battle ground, instead of what it should be: a shared opportunity for collaboration and mutual benefit. There has been fantastic progress in society to promote the image of strong women. I remember a viral commercial from a decade ago challenging the term “throw like a girl”. At the same time, there has not been the same level of campaigns to promote the positives of ‘femininity’ in young men. The online pressures on mental health impact both of our young boys and girls. However, the online ‘bombardment’ that young boys receive of the perfectly sculpted male body means that, for the first time in the UK, body dysmorphia now affects more boys than girls.

I shared how I try to be a ‘good man’. I have two young sons, who I encourage to talk about their emotions and I try to model this with them when talking about my own. In addition, I shared that I access counselling as part of my work as the Designated Safeguarding Lead of the school. We discussed how young men struggle to have one to one conversations in the same way as young women. Young men can find it easiest to talk to others through physical activities, playing golf or going fishing with friends or family can provide these opportunities. I shared other positive role models, such as a video of the England Rugby player and now Traitors star Joe Marler, talking about his mental health struggles and accessing both therapy and medication to support his mental health.

I asked the children to reflect on the signs that their family members, friends or themselves could be struggling; feeling unusually irritable or angry,

pulling away from friends, family, or activities they once enjoyed, escaping into gaming, sport, or work 24/7, taking more risks (e.g., drinking, drugs, acting recklessly), and poor sleep or feeling constantly exhausted for no clear reason.

In school, boys and girls can seek support from their Learning Group Leader, Cohort Leader, myself or Kerry Nichols, the Designated Safeguarding leads, or any teacher they trust. The school can also help with referrals to the school nurse, school counselling, boxing, or mentoring schemes to support young people’s mental health.

We discussed treating mental health in the same way as we would physical health. If a young person you know is struggling with low mood, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts, encourage them to seek professional help. I also shared a number of National Helplines: If immediate support is needed, you can call Samaritans on 116 123. Resources are also available 24/7 via CALM (5pm–midnight) and YoungMinds, by texting YM to 85258.

Lastly, I shared the fantastic awareness brand for boys’ mental health - “boys get sad too” - as a possible Christmas wish list item to get families and friends talking.

Please reach out to us should any young person need support with their mental health.

TEMPORARY LEADERSHIP CHANGE

Please note that Mr Saunders will not be in school for the next few weeks as he is undergoing a hospital procedure. In Mr Saunders’ absence Mr Munro will be taking the lead. Should you have any queries, questions or concerns that you would normally direct to Mr Saunders then please send them to Mr Munro (jmunro@honywoodschool. com) and Miss Giles (hgiles@honywoodschool.com Mr Saunders PA). Together, they will ensure that you are connected to the right person to deal with your enquiry.

COHORT 8 DISTRICT FOOTBALL

Score: Hedingham 3 Honywood 7

Half time: 0-1

Team: Erina McSweeney, Ben Irwin, Manny Munro, Heath Saunders (Capt), Dougie Hopkins, Louie Tunnell, Connor McLeod, Eddie Hutchinson, Zach Bishop, Rosie Cagney, Tyler Farrow

The first half was evenly contested with the defence of Dougie Hopkins, Louis Tunnell, Manny Munro and Ralph Gooding shutting out the home team’s attack, allowing Honywood to score the only goal of the half. Honywood dominated the second half with Player of the Match, Zach Bishop, scoring 4 goals, one of them coming from Goalkeeper Erina McSweeney’s a long pass. The best goal of the game came from our captain Heath Saunders who scored in the top corner of the goal from 30 yards out. Honywood’s other goals were scored by Connor McLeod and Rosie Cagney.

This was a good all-round solid performance and Honywood thoroughly deserved the result. Well done C8!

COHORT 7

Over recent weeks, C7 have been running a table tennis tournament over the lunchtime period. Over 30 learners entered the competition. There were many preliminary rounds with some excellent skills on display. This culminated in the semi-finals between Seb Robinson and James Casey and Jude Gee and Albie Collins. Both matches were well contested with skill, determination and sportsmanship. The victors of the semi-finals were Seb Robinson and Jude Gee. Everyone looked forward to the final and it did not disappoint. The final was very tense and exciting with each of the players winning a set each which came down to the final set. There was nothing to separate the players each reaching 10 /10. Ultimately, Seb Robinson secured the championship by winning the next two decisive points, showcasing tremendous nerve and execution under pressure. Well done to all who took part.

A massive well done to our KS3 dance club who attended the Braintree Dance festival on Tuesday morning. A mixture of primary and secondary schools were in attendance with some very creative dances. We are proud to share that our girls won the Best Team award for their dance. Well done!!

Well done to 5 Honywood learners who were selected for the North West Essex football squad (Jude, Seb, Finlay, Felix and James.) Last Saturday, 3 of the boys (Jude, Seb and Finlay) played in the first District game against Colchester United U12 Academy squad. They out played them by some margin and won 4-2. Quite a achievement!

REMEMBRANCE POEM

At Honywood, marking Remembrance has been a long-standing tradition, and this year we marked it in many ways: learning group activities; laying poppies at the front of the school; assemblies; attending the Remembrance service in the village; and a poetry competition. Learners explored world war and modern war poetry and then wrote their own poems individually, in groups, or as a learning group.

Well done to 10CTi for writing the winning poem.

In the last week of term, we are offering learners an option to attend a Christmas film afternoon. There will be snacks to purchase and you have the opportunity to vote which film is shown. This takes place in the Main Hall during LS4 and 5 on the following days: