The 'Olden Days' by John Chapman Head Porter, Homerton, 1980-1995
I
have just read the ‘Annual Review 2015’ and also the ‘Homertonian’, so I thought I would put pen to paper and try to tell you about the other side of the working college. Back in 1980, after seeing an advertisement in the local paper for a Head Porter, I applied for the position. I did not really know what I was letting myself in for! At that time I was working for a very large security firm as a Dog Inspector. Besides looking after the dogs and their handlers, I was in their demonstration team, giving shows at various functions. I lived in a small bungalow on the outskirts of Bradfield St Clare, with my wife, Lilian, (who was later to be employed by the Homerton Students’ Union as their secretary). I eventually received an application form and a date and time for an interview with a Miss Westall, the Domestic Bursar. This I attended and went through all the usual formalities. At the end of the interview I was asked if I had any objections to living on site. I was not expecting this! I said I would have to discuss this question with my wife, and explained that if I were to live on site, I would of course be bringing my dog, King, if I were appointed to the post. Deadly silence … .
When I arrived home, Lilian asked how I got on and I told her all about it. I admitted that I honestly did not think I would get the job, firstly because I didn’t have the necessary experience, and secondly because they might not want King, the dog. However, God must have been on our side, because approximately two weeks later, both Lilian and I were invited for another interview. We took it that they were now narrowing the field down. On arrival, I introduced Lilian to Miss Westall, who then introduced Mrs Barham as her Senior Housekeeper, who would show us around the house, 188 Hills Road. It was smaller than we were used to and in going round it, I pointed out several jobs which would need to be done. The most serious of these was around the fireplace, downstairs, where the floor was very springy. On lifting the floorboards, it was discovered that the support joists had rotted. On returning to meet Miss Hamilton/ Westall?, we were told that the job was mine on two conditions; that the dog was kept under proper control and that my wife moved in with me! We explained that as Lilian was working as a Ward Clerk at the West Suffolk Hospital and we would have to sell our bungalow, this would take a while and Miss
rsm newsletter, may 2016, page 8
Hamilton/Westall? agreed that I would start work in two weeks. We were then handed the keys to no. 188, and after signing more papers we departed for home. Lilian handed in her notice, I gave notice to my firm and signed the necessary papers to obtain King as my own dog, as he was too old to re-train with a new handler. We put the bungalow up for sale, and the fun began. As there had never been a Head Porter before at Homerton, I had to fight the opposition as I found them. I had to get around a very severe lady on the switchboard (plug and socket system) who had over many years developed her own way of doing things and in no way was she was going to hand over to a young whipper snapper. The day porter was ‘past it’ and would disappear every so often for no apparent reason and the minibus drivers would go and you never knew when they would be back. One particular driver (Mr Betts) would always be the last back, no matter what run I put him on. He would then clock off and start mending the students’ bikes. One day, one of the drivers phoned in sick, so I stepped in to cover his duty. I had not yet learned the routes, so I asked the students to direct me to their drop off points. We went by a roadside
travellers’ café and lo and behold, there was one of our minibuses. Guess who was the driver!! Life was never dull - there was always something going on. There were many incidents, involving both staff and students, some funny, some serious. I was told “Beware of Mrs Bunton. If the right flag isn’t flying on the right day, beware”! One day Miss Salter reported that someone had taken quite a few root flowers that she and one of her staff had spent all the previous day planting. We traced this theft back to a member of staff who was made to return them. Another member of staff was holding his monthly leisure meeting with his students in a room below some first floor student accommodation. The students above the meeting were not able to study due to the level of noise. My night staff were afraid of going in to challenge a member of academic staff, so taking my life in my hands, I entered and requested that they should quieten down. The member of staff saw that this happened, but followed me out and gave me a lesson on etiquette. No wonder the students were afraid of him. A student came to the Porters’ Lodge one weekend to say that she was locked out