Winter Issue 2021 by His Favor Ministries

The Winter Issue 2021 Team Founder/Publisher ............................................. Sheneè Woodson Editor In Chief ...................................................... Sylvia Koonce Graphic Design Contributer............................ Sarah Grace

Marketing Director ............................................. Dr. Aikyna Finch Senior Promoter .................................................... Gerald Smith

Contributing Writers.......................................... Stephanie Kay

............................................ Raymond Pretlor

............................................. Andrea Belmore

............................................. Shimeka Dukes ............................................ Dr. Jia Conway ............................................ Melia Diana

............................................ Danica Myers ............................................ Ami Loper

............................................ Retta Timmons

Guest Interviewer ............................................. Leroy McKenzie Jr.

Photography Credit ............................................... Aisha Butler (Jazzy Photos)

HOME BASE Baltimore, MD PHONE NUMBER 410-645-0629 WEBSITE www.hisfavorministries.com

Farewell His Favor Magazine Family

WOW!

3 years, His Favor Magazine has been in existence. To some, that might not mean anything, but to me it means a lot. They say you do not know someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Well, to be honest, I have wanted to trade these shoes in on numerous occasions. As I look at this picture, I recall a woman that was hiding behind a lot of hurt, yet determined to be all that God has called her to be. I recall a woman that wanted nothing more than to be able to care for her family without stressing over the days to come. I recall this woman wanting to give up on her dreams because at times, it was too hard. This woman had no clue what was in store for her. Although she knew what God had shown her in countless dreams and through prophetic voices, she had know clue that it would happen in such a short time. As a Managing Editor for 2 publications and then an Editor in Chief, she has been able to meet as well as have enriching conversations with individuals she had seen on huge platforms and known all over the world. Looking at this woman, I must say, she has overcome so much and I am proud of her. Now, the day has come that I must take all that she has learned these past 3 years and embark on a new journey. To everyone that has supported His Favor Magazine thus far, I say THANK YOU! This will be my last time greeting you! However, I ask that you continue to support what God is doing within these pages and beyond. I ask that you continue to support His Favor Ministries as all that it has in store in the future. God Bless Each and Everyone One Of You! I Love You All!

Sheneè Woodson (founder/publisher)

Favor

Letters from the Editors 7.. Sylvia Koonce 8.. Rich Wessenberg

Favor Girls Work

11.. Dr. Joan Henry-Fields 12.. Reverend LaKesha Womack

Writer's Encouraging Moments 16.. Ami Loper 17.. Danica Myers 18.. Shimeka Dukes 19.. Stephanie Kay 20.. Retta Timmons

Minding My Own Business 22.. Raymond Lives

Men Of Favor

30.. Chad & James Hampton

All About Christian Music 33.. Andrew Music Williams

Author Spotlight 46.. Jack Eason

From The Heart

36.. Andrea Belmore 40.. Melia Diana 44.. Dr. Jia Conway

Features I asked her because I knew she saw the vision as if God showed her the same time He showed me Sheneè Woodson Appoints

New Editor In Chief, Sylvia Koonce (Cover Feature... 24)

R i c h W e s s e n b e r g Work Life Balance From The Managing Editor Work life balance is one of life’s greatest challenges! No one is ever perfect at balancing them both. Also, there is no one size fits all balancing act. However, by God’s grace, mercy, and strength, we can be faithful to do our best to find balance within work and life. I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy (balanced) of the vocation wherewith ye are called, Ephesians 4:1 The secret to work life balance is knowing what to balance and walk by the spirit. I Thessalonians chapter 5 is where to find this great truth to life.

And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I Thessalonians 5:23 Better known as body, soul, and spirit, but God lists them in their correct spiritual order: spirit, soul, and body. Work life balance begins by the power of God being energized by believing. Therefore, spirit is first. The heart of this truth is the great commandment which is to love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself (Mathew 22:36-39). It’s a journey that begins by growing from the milk of God’s Word to its meat (spiritual maturity) which develops spiritual discernment (Hebrews 5:12-14). In-addition, God’s way to escape dead end situations becomes available when needed (I Corinthians 10:13). A lifelong commitment and humility to God and His Word is required for work life balance consistency. The Second great key to work life balance is soul. Third John 2 helps us to understand what this means. Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. III John 2

Follow Rich on Twitter @RichWessenberg

God’s prosperity and good health have a relationship to how our soul prospers. Soul prosperity biblically is called the renewed mind. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2 When we faithfully renew our minds to God’s Word, we become wise as serpents and harmless as doves at work and in life (Mathew 10:16). We don’t have to sell out to this world to advance nor compromise God’s Word in any category of life. God becomes your sufficiency in all things: family, friends, finances, work, and health. The third great key to work life balance is a strong body. Beginning with Adam who lived to 930, to Methuselah who lived to 969, to Moses who lived to 12o and is noted dying in in full strength (Deuteronomy 34:7), provides a sample of believers who took care of their bodies and as a result were rewarded with long life. This truth is exemplified in the book of Job. After this lived Job an hundred and forty years, and saw his sons, and his sons' sons, even four generations. So Job died, being old and full of days. Job 42:16,17 Good health is worked for. Getting an annual exam with a local primary care provider, reviewing blood screening results (know your numbers), and faithfully addressing nutritional and fitness needs are essential. Furthermore, annual dental and vision exams, basic daily personal hygiene disciplines, brushing and flossing teeth, getting proper sleep, staying hydrated, and anything else that supports healthy behavior to build a strong body cannot be overlooked. Preventive care, early disease detection screening, early treatments, and wellness programs all help to maintain a strong body. As medical technology continues to advance, living longer will increase. Believers should be especially benefiting from these advances. Getting out of balance in spirit, soul, and body too long, opens the door for the power of darkness to enter our lives. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. John 10:10. Work life balance is possible. Our job is to keep God first – spirit, faithfully renew our minds to His Word second – soul and take care of our bodies third – body. When work life balance is consistent, God doing exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think becomes a lifestyle (Ephesians 3:20), but most importantly, our lives will be blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ to receive a full reward. Look to yourselves, that we lose not those things which we have wrought, but that we receive a full reward. 2 John 1:8

Available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble Amazon: http://goo.gl/GhV3ay Amazon Kindle: http://goo.gl/QRwKFT Barnes and Noble: https://rb.gy/emnzrz

Dr. Joan Henry-Fields

Joan’s career has spanned the public and private sectors, focusing on transforming lives through skills building workshops, service coordination, and mindset coaching. Joan has held leadership positions with educational and human services organizations in New York, Washington DC, Virginia, Maryland, and private sector positions with schools and Human Services organizations internationally. Joan is the Founder/President of the Women’s Entrepreneur Expo, which falls under her organization, WEE Global Network, (WEE) LLC. For over 12 years, the Women’s Entrepreneur Expo served the residents of Maryland and several other states as a free event open to the public. The expo is an interactive business expo designed to provide opportunities for small businesses, women-owned businesses, new businesses, expanding businesses, and immigrant businesses. The event prides itself on business revitalization and offers women and girls (and men) the tools and resources to connect, learn, and start their own business. Joan is an International Radio Personality, Internet TV Host, and Published Author. In addition to the WEE Global Network, Joan is the Founder and Executive Director of RESA Inc. A nonprofit organization dedicated to impacting the lives of women and girls disadvantaged by societal or economic circumstances helps them enhance their quality of life. RESA is a 501c3 organization and is currently incorporated in Maryland and the District of Columbia. Also, Joan is the proud owner of “Out In The Fields, LLC, a real estate consulting firm. Joan holds a bachelor’s degree in human services from the Audrey Cohen College in Manhattan, New York; a master’s degree in social work from Howard University in Washington DC, and a Doctorate in Business Administration with a focus on Management, from the Grand Canyon University, Arizona. Joan’s research topic was “Business Success Factors of Female Immigrant Entrepreneur in Maryland.” Joan is a native of Jamaica West Indies and lives in Maryland. She is married to her handsome Provider and Protector, Kyle Fields. Joan is the mother of two amazing sons and has two beautiful stepdaughters. Joan’s goal is to establish quality relationships and be an agent of change in the lives of the people she comes in contact. www.resawomen.org www.weeglobalnetwork.com www.outinthefieldsllc.com

The Familiar Hand

I must’ve been about three or four years old when it happened. It was a rare moment – just Dad and me. I think we were supposed to be going to the mall for something, but - wouldn’t you know it? – a classic car show was in the parking lot and there was no way in the world Dad was missing that! We strolled around the “iron” (as Dad o ten called those good, old, solid cars) as they glistened in the sunshine and their proud owners rambled words incomprehensible to me, but completely engaging to Dad.

We came around the end of a car and for a brief moment lost touch with each other. But I knew Dad was right there and reached out and took his hand once again. But this hand felt cold, sti f and unresponsive. This hand dropped my hand and pulled away. To my horror, I looked up to see this was not Dad’s hand, but a stranger’s. In an instant, Dad was there, laughing his warm gu faw and chatting up this stranger while I hid behind his leg. I was rubbing my hand, trying to remove the feeling of that stranger. As we walked away, I looked up before slipping my hand into Dad’s. There it was: that warmth, that roughness from hard work coupled with a tenderness that made the roughness feel so so t. His long, guitarstrumming ﬁngers enveloped my little hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Yes, this was familiar. This was comfortable. This was Dad. There have been many times in my life when, spiritually speaking, I have felt a familiar hand leading me, guiding me into what is right and good, what is life. And there have been other times when a stranger’s hand has tried to intervene. Whether it was the hand of my lesh or the hand of the enemy, the stranger is… di ferent. That stranger’s hand pulls and pushes me; it doesn’t lead me. That stranger’s hand makes me feel anxious, manipulated or afraid; it doesn’t o fer comfort and reassurance. And, in the end, I ﬁnd myself crouching behind my Abba, trying to remove the foreign feeling from the o fended hand that too quickly allowed itself to be deceived. 16

Jesus said that His sheep would know His voice and they wouldn’t follow the stranger (John 10:4-5). But how? How do they know His voice so well? I knew my Dad’s hand because my little hand was o ten in his. Even at the age of three or four, my hand had spent enough time in his that it was familiar; a counterfeit could not long deceive me. And it is this, this beautiful familiarity, that produces the ability to quickly recognize the stranger. It is in the spiritual disciplines, though too o ten derisively passed over as boring routine, that provide us with this intimate knowledge. We know our Daddy’s hand. We know it by the daily routine of slipping our hand in His, by the daily reverberation of His voice, by the warmth in His eye, the character of His love. There’s no other way, no shortcut to familiarity, no replacement for daily connectedness. It is the lifeline that keeps us close to our Shepherd Father and guards us from the stranger. “I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me…” John 10:14

www.amiloper.com

~Ami Loper

Approved with His Favor “You are approved,” Those three words mean so much when it comes to getting credit, buying a house, or looking for a new car. Those three words signify acceptance of the financing company that you met the qualifications. We long to hear words of approval not only from financers but also from our friends, families, and loved ones. According to Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, humans have a natural desire for love and belonging. The desire for approval can come from various things, including a desire to: want friends, join a particular social group, or get married.

As a believer, you are approved by God. When a believer finds Jesus, they obtain favor from the Lord (Proverbs 8:25 NKJV). Collins dictionary notes, one definition of the word favor is the state of being approved. One way to look at this is that when you find Jesus, you obtain approval from God. You are in a state of approval. As you seek the Lord, you have God’s stamp of approval. The favor of God is freely given to believers. There is no cost to a believer to receive his favor. Although, there is no cost to receiving his favor, there is one requirement to obtain the favor of the Lord. That requirement is to find him. You have to seek the Lord, in other words, be thirsty for a relationship with God.

Danica Myers is an educator with a plethora of degrees. (Bachelors of

Science in Communication with a double major in African American Studies/with a minor in Cinemas Studies, Masters of Education/with a concentration in Student A fairs, Masters of Arts in Human Service Counseling and is currently pursuing her PhD In Organizational Leadership) This evangelist, author, talk show host, producer and speaker not only brings knowledge in multiple areas, her powerful testimony encourages many to trust God during the process.

The desire to be approved is natural, but we must remember where true approval comes from. True approval comes from God. Approval from people may satiate you for a short while, but eventually, you’ll end up thirsty again. Only with Jesus, will you never thirst again (John 4:14 NKJV). A thirst for approval will have you looking for love in the wrong places, and acting outside of your character, doing things that you never thought you would do. As a believer, you are approved, and when you are approved, you operate with a different mindset because you recognize your value. When you already know that you are approved, you don’t need to be validated by anything or anyone else.

The favor of God is a promise from God that when a believer seeks the Lord, they will obtain his favor. The favor of God is also a blessing that will surround a believer (Psalm 5:12 NKJV). As a promise and a blessing to believers, the believer has to do nothing but seek the Lord. You don’t have to jump through hoops to earn God’s favor. His favor can’t be earned or His favor is God’s response to your desire to seek him. His favor is a benefit of your relationship with him and as long as you seek him and find him his favor will surround you.

Danica Myers 17

The Air We Breathe

Hey Family!

Happy New Year! What are you thankful for in 2021 that money can’t buy? Or that couldn’t go under your Christmas Tree last month? As for me personally, more than ever before, I am thankful for the breath of life!

I came to this very conclusion when I was listening to, This is the Air I Breathe, by Hillsong. The year 2020 truly reemphasized how even the unseen and the invisible, is real and powerful. As we sit in the midst of this pandemic called COVID-19, that has taken residence all over the world, I am reminded that God too takes residence, and He is living in you and me until we take our last breath.

As the artist sang, “This is my daily bread”, I was then reminded of how God’s Word is alive and available to us daily when we seek it. It has always been a necessity, but did we notice this prior to COVID-19? The doors of the church are closed now. If you haven’t learned by now, we need an encounter with the Father, daily. Not just on Sunday for weekly morning service. Not just on Wednesday for bible study. Not just for counseling because we lost our job or have marital problems. We need the Father every day and every hour, regardless of our circumstances. He is not concerned with our religions, excuses, or philosophy. God wants a relationship with us, our trust, and a commitment. In the meditation of God’s holy Word and through worship, we feel Him, we see Him, He hears us, and we hear from Him. The power of the encounter is real for those who diligently seek him. The song went on to echo, “I’m desperate for you…”. Are you desperate for God? Are you seeking God? Or do you squeeze Him into your schedule every now and then when you find the time or only when you need Him? How would you feel if God didn’t show up daily for you? He is the air we breathe. He is the giver of life, daily. If it were not for God, we wouldn’t need to be concerned with buying a mask to protect ourselves when we step foot out of our homes. If God operated like man, we wouldn’t have to worry about the homes we live in safely and comfortably night after night, because we would not have a home. What are you doing with each day, each breath God allows us to take? God wants to be present in your life daily. Are you missing a moment to hear from Him or an encounter with Him, for a day that we may never see? Or a day that we may see, but one that may never measure up to our expectations?

Let’s vow to never put any more hope in tomorrow, a New Year, or New Year’s resolution. Take an oath this year to give God’s gift, the air you breathe, back to Him daily. Spend time with Him. Thank Him in and out of season for all that He has done, is doing, and will do for you in the days to come for you and your family. In addition to serving Him, serve others. Serving pleases God and helps others in ways you would never imagine, but it also allows God to minister to you as well in return.

The His Favor Magazine family wishes you all a safe and prosperous New Year! Remember the giver of the air you breathe. Please know that our hearts, thoughts, and prayers are with every household that grieves the passing of a loved one. Be strong, keep the Faith!

Shimeka Dukes

@deardaddysgirl

dukesofhazsoulinspirations

A Moment With Stephanie Kay

Awhile ago, I went through something where someone I trusted, with all of my heart, chose to lie about who I was and how certain situations evolved. . I remember feeling so betrayed. I had shared my deepest secrets with this person. I had let this person have access to my heart in a way that was profound. But, when this person had the opportunity to be honest, they instead hid behind a platform and a reputation that was crystal clear, because of all the manipulation and lies. I wasn’t the first. I just chose to believe this person had changed. I felt so much anger. It was so difficult for me to watch this person live as if nothing happened and as if I was nobody. It was so difficult to feel so crushed. I felt so stupid. And as someone who had been abused, I felt like I allowed my walls to come down for someone else to come in and cause destruction, again. That was HARD to face. I let someone make me feel safe, yet, that person did the opposite of keep my heart safe. Its caused my walls to be thicker, my heart to be harder and my ability to trust to diminish greatly. I’m still working on healing those things. . I knew their darkest secrets. Secrets their family didn’t know, secrets their friends didn’t know and secrets that could’ve destroyed their reputation. And, had I chosen to, I could’ve done serious damage to them, their family and their livelihood. There were days where it was HARD

to be quiet. I wanted to expose them, but I chose silence. I even ignored the advice to “expose” them. I was told to copy emails and send them out. I was told to record conversations. I chose not to. I chose to keep the “weapons of destruction” aka secrets in my vault. I chose not to attack someone whom I felt deserved it.

. W e often want peace. We always talk about removing people and things from our lives. And while those are good things to do, they won’t give you peace. It will make your world more peaceful, but it won’t give you peace. . T rue peace resides in what is inside of you. It comes from not attacking, when your hurt tells you to. It comes from remaining silent, when you want to expose others. It comes from deciding not to react but instead respond, evaluate yourself, and choose to be silent when your hurt wants to be loud.

www.Stephanie-Kay.com

Sheneè Woodson Appoints

New Editor In Chief, Sylvia Koonce

S h e n e è Wo o d s o n

Founder/Publisher

W h y I C h o s e To S t e p A s i d e This has truly been an awesome journey thus far let me start by saying that. However, I knew it was time to move on to something else awhile ago. So long, I have done a lot on my own because I did not want to either bother anyone and I had trust issues. Yet, I knew that the vision of His Favor Magazine was not about me. After launching His Favor Ministries, starting a teen magazine (and attempting to expand even further with a Spanish magazine), it was evident that I not only needed help but I needed to be open to those that wanted to help. I've recently been diagnosed with a rare brain disorder which causes me to become extremely drained along with migraines and moments of blurred vision and dizziness. This was attributed to stress according to the neurologist among other

things. I know God is my healer, but I had to take a step back and reevaluate everything in my life. There are so many things I want to do. There are so many things I am capable of. Pursuing my Master's degree in Applied Developmental Psychology and embracing my love for speaking, hosting and facilitating has been my main focus the past few months. Aside from this, my health and being there for my beautiful daughter is of utmost important. His Favor Magazine will always be "my baby", but from it other publications will come to the surface. His Favor TEEN Magazine, Fearless Life Magazine, Heartbeat Magazine and soon Men Of Favor Magazine, all have editors that see the vision of His Favor Ministries. I am excited about what God is about to do in the lives of so many people.

"I am not going anywhere! I am just moving forward!" 25

I first learned about His Favor Magazine when I did an advertisement for my book about three years ago. Sylvia Koonce

What were your previous roles? During my tenure with the magazine, some of my earlier functions consisted of being a contributing writer, field correspondent and other supporting roles as needed. As Editor in Chief, how do you plan on ensuring that the motto, "Celebrating the Diverse Gifts in the Body of Christ" is implemented? I plan on ensuring that the motto is implemented by first looking at the scripture "In the same way, though there are many of us, we are one body in Christ, and individually we belong to each other." Romans 12:5 CEB. This is just one of the scriptures that gives a beautiful representation of the body of Christ. I believe in following this blueprint and continuing to implement unity and diversity. We have a fantastic sound; each individual knows which instrument is needed to make up the complete orchestra. Was it hard to transition from your previous roles to being the Editor In Chief? Yes, it ABSOLUTELY was! Like any transitional period, there are some adjusting as the next phase usually requires more of you, and this is nothing different. Sheneè is a superhero in this industry and I will do my part to continue the legacy and integrity she has sustained. As Sheneè embarks on new things, what are you doing to support those efforts? I am supporting those efforts by honoring her requests as the new Editor in Chief. As I have stated to her many times, I will be here to “championing” her in all her endeavors. She will not be leaving me, just pivoting up to greater things. I know the world is waiting for so much more from what she has to offer, and I am excited to see God unveiling her to the masses. Why do you feel people tend to shy away from doing something out of their comfort zone? I believe people tend to shy away from doing something out of their comfort zone for many reasons, whether it is fear, lack of confidence, pride, or low self-esteem, all of them keep you from stepping out into the deep water. With all that is going on in the world, how do you plan to be a media voice that evokes change and healing? I plan to be a media voice that evokes change and healing by using one of my mantras, "Changing lives, changing communities, and changing the world" I’ve vowed to use my voice as a positive haven. Now it is time to kick it up another notch and make sure every media outlet is aware of the need to make positive declarations contagious. How do you determine who is a good fit for His Favor magazine in regard to writers? I determine who is a good fit by the conversation. They are all incredible by the way! I often listen to what's not said, and I think about the quote by Maya Angelou, "People know themselves much better than you do. That's why it's important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are". So, they are given the freedom to be themselves and be led by God. 27

WHAT ARE YOU “HUNTING” FOR? If we asked you the question “Are you a hunter?” what would your response be? We travel the country every year to speak at several different outdoor events and ask thousands of people that same question. Most people we speak to respond with the answer “yes” since the audiences are hunters and outdoorsmen and women. But, occasionally a few will respond with “no” because they do not hunt the animals God put on this earth. However, here is the truth....we are all HUNTERS! The definition of the word “hunt” in the Webster’s dictionary is to search for or to pursue with force. We are all searching for or pursuing something in our lives with force. It could be money, power, fame, a significant other, a spouse, a career, or anything that you invest a lot of time in. What are the top 3 things in your life that you spend the most time pursuing? Those are what you are “hunting” for!

It’s interesting that the word “seek” that you will find in many verses in the Bible has the same definition as the word “hunt”. A man named Solomon talks about a “hunt” that he went on in the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible. Solomon says this in Ecclesiastes 1:13... “And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith” In other words, Solomon says that he went on a “hunt” in his life to see what was good for a man to do while on this earth.

If you read the book of Ecclesiastes you will learn that when Solomon went on this “hunt” he gained more power, money, fame, and wives than anyone of his time! He planted vineyards for himself, made more money in gold than anyone else, people came from all over the world to hear him speak and learn his wisdom, and he had 700 wives and 300 concubines. He also earned what be the equivalent of one billion dollars a year in today’s money every year. The man had anything that any human being could want in this life!

The Bible says in Psalms 14:2 that God is looking for “hunters”. Not just hunters after His animals, but most importantly “hunters” after Him! That verse says... “The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek(hunt) God”. Psalms 14:2 NIV

What are you “hunting” for today? Are you hunting after the meaningless things in life like Solomon did? Or are you hunting for The One who created it all and wants to give you eternal life? The Bible calls Him the “Truth” in John 14:6...... “Jesus answered, “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” 31

Andrea Belmore "Dancing With My Daddy"

Your identity is not determined by what happened to you, or who others say you are or who you are not.

Know Who You Are! Your Identity is Found in the One Who Created You! My sister and I were reminiscing about our childhood. If she were not 15 months younger than me, we would be the twins. Most people think we are. She remembered how I was always the confident outgoing one who would talk to anyone; the one who would make friends so easily with everybody, while she tagged along behind me. She made new friends because I found them first. She would always stand back and wait, sizing people up before she would open her heart to them. I did not care what anyone thought of me. I was not concerned about anyone making any judgment on me. It did not even occur to me that people made a judgment, I just assumed everyone had a loving, caring and compassionate heart like mine. I would laugh when people laughed, and cry alongside those who needed a shoulder to cry on. I wanted to help anyone who was hurting. I remember my grandfather was proud about this quality of heart I had, and even discussed in front of my sister. But I would soon forget his words that anchored what God had designed my heart to be. The Consequences of Compassion By the time I reached high school, I realized how wrong I was about judgment, and I

discovered the hardness and cruelty of other people’s hearts. I felt disillusioned when I discovered other people did not have loving compassionate hearts too. I realized the consequence of what having a soft heart meant and people took advantage of me. I had not yet developed the skills or realized the importance of boundaries. My innocence had been ripped away from me. I did not transition from childhood to adulthood in the natural progression that should have taken place at the age-appropriate time. I was thrust into an adult world before I was ready. I questioned the morals and values taught to me by my parents at an early age and they got lost along the journey. Suddenly, I saw the world as cruel and people were only out to get what they wanted and took it at their will, as a result, I suffered from bullying and sexual abuse. Losing My Identity That was the beginning of the loss of my identity. To deal with the trauma, I blocked out every painful memory, but along with the painful memories, so too did the good memories diminish, and I no longer remembered my childhood. I hated who I was, I hated being born a girl. I was only a young teenager transitioning into adolescence, but I had already discovered that being born a girl meant being used by men. I figured it was my lot in life and I became an incredibly angry, shut down, selfish, and destructive teenager, closing off my heart and illegally turning to alcohol at just 14. The legal age to consume alcohol in Australia is 18. I did not even notice when my compassionate, loving, and caring heart disappeared, but I spent the next 30 years on a search, looking for the girl I did not know I was looking for. I went searching in every self-destructive element the world had to offer, trying to fill a huge hole in my heart. I went looking for love and validation in promiscuous sex because this is where I believed I was wanted The Root of Rejection At 14 I had my first boyfriend, but he dumped me because I would not give him what he wanted. The root of rejection had taken hold in the soil of my heart. I gave myself away to the next boyfriend to come along just so he would not reject me. I wanted him to love me and sex was the way I had learned to receive love and be validated. This new relationship spanned over 3 years but was over when he no longer gave me pleasure, I figured there was no love between us anymore. I went from relationship to relationship because I had no idea what love was and when the sex died, so I thought it was time to move on to the next man to meet my needs in what I thought love was. I eventually married and had 2 beautiful children, a girl, and a boy. This marriage was the longest relationship I was able to hold onto but that ended after 10 years of marriage. There were a few reasons for this but ultimately, I did not understand love to know how to work through the issues. 37

International

Melia Diana

Best-Selling Author,

Certified Christian Counselor, Speaker, and Relationship & Dating Coach; specializing in inner healing transformation.

3 Reasons You are not Attracting a Godly Spouse

The famous question... Why do I attract the wrong partner in my life? Well, my friends, that’s a loaded question. I can tell you we all get stuck in our pain, childhood issues, fear, trauma, and limiting beliefs… the list is endless. Here’s the truth, it is not just one thing holding you back, it’s usually a combination of muchunresolved pain stemming from old wounds stored in your soul. So many of us want a quick answer. A fast solution to our problems. We want Insta-everything! We think God is our personal UPS store or Amazon Prime. Nope! He is God who will deliver when He thinks you are ready to receive His blessings. This comes with trials, tests, and a purification process. We must understand that this is all about God’s timing and not our own. “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps” (Proverbs 16:9 NLT). We cannot rush the process or think we are in control. We submit by trusting Him, knowing He will make our pathways straight and narrow. Yet, we don’t like to hear those itching words. So we go out on a mission to find true love. We hunt with our high-beam antennas on our heads positioning ourselves for our potential mate. We think what’s pleasing to our eyes will be pleasing to our hearts. Look, it isn’t for me to say that a specific individual who God brings into your life is healthy for you or not. What I can tell you is that sometimes what we think is from God, is really from the devil. This is why we must have discernment. Spiritual discernment comes from having a personal relationship with Jesus. He is the only meditator between man and God. “There is one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and humanitythe man Christ Jesus. (1 Timothy 2:5). We must not look for a mate to fill a void only God can sustain. Yet, we still run to the world for answers. We run around with fears and anxiety that we will never have that special someone. We give up too easily. We dismiss rapidly. We have hoaxed perceptions that we will never marry. Why do we do that to ourselves? Perhaps, the relationship with ourselves needs some major tweaks or minor adjustments? We jump into a relationship without asking for God’s approval. We want a relationship so badly that we ignore the red flags. We crave attention and fall into schemes due to our weary hearts. Ladies, do you exuberant the characteristics of a godly woman? Do you expect a man to have it all together, treat you like a queen, be at your beck and call, and have financial stability…but you aren’t that for him? Men are you exuberating characteristics of a godly man? Are you actually courting a woman properly? Are you jumping at an opportunity of a relationship based only on physical appearances? These are all questions I ask my clients. And sadly, most make excuses and have below-par justifications for how they pick and choose their potential spouse. Friends, I had to come with the hard realization that I needed God to clean- up areas of my life that were affecting my relationships, too. Truth is, I needed God to restore my brokenness before He would bring me my husband. Friends, we cannot expect to get what we are not giving ourselves. Ouch! I know that stings a little, but it’s the truth. Here are 3 reasons why you are not attracting a godly man or woman. 41 1. Non-healed Soul 2. Romanticizing 3.Perfectionism

Simply Abundant Health

“Your Love Walk Is A Healthy Walk”

complete state of wellness includes that of our emotional health. It is impossible to have a truly healthy walk physically and spiritually in our lives and negate the significance of the emotional aspect of our beings. Our emotions are the trigger points of our being that ignite our fight-or-flight responses, activate changes in our heart rate, blood pressure, immune response, and literally can make the hairs on our arms stand up! Our emotions, especially that of love are driving forces towards that of self-love, the ability to love others and our ability to love God and receive His love. The word of God tells us that “And now abide faith, hope, love these three: but the greatest of these is love,” (1 Corinthians 13:13). It is the greatest and one of the most powerful emotions that we as humans possess. Our love walk not only demonstrates the power of God at work in and through us, but it is a walk that exuberates soundness, completion, wholeness, wellness and wellbeing. On the contrary, when our love walk is stagnant and deficient, we are void of self-love, God’s love and love for others. Therefore, these emotions elicit negative feelings that cause depression, oppression, fatigue, and challenges our overall health and wellbeing and our ability to love. A healthy love walk conquers the burden of barren and voided emotional places that attempt to depress and oppress us. A healthy love walk loves from the inside out and builds us up physically and spiritually. A healthy love walk empowers each and every one of us to a greater state of wellness and wellbeing because when we love healthy in totality there is nothing missing within our being. A healthy love walk knows that love bears all things, meaning that love covers us; believes all things, meaning that love never loses faith and believes the best of us all; hopes all things, meaning that love leads us with anticipation and optimism; and love endures all things, meaning love will never give up!

How do we achieve a healthy love walk?

L~ Learn to love ourselves and others as God does. Love without exception. O- Omit those things and emotions that mean us no good. Love to forgive and forgive to love. V~ Value those in our space without terms or conditions. Love creates a greater sense of wellbeing. E~ Embrace the power of love as a meaningful force that gives and shows us the best of who we through the love of God. We love because He first loved us!

Our love walk is Simply Abundant Health!

Dr. Jia Conway Workshop & Conference Presenter Wellness Advocate & Health Coach Personal & Professional Life Coach

www.JiaConway.com jiaconway Jia R Conway

Author Spotlight Jack Eason’s book, The Loneliness Solution, is connecting with people and having an impact. Despite our connected world—and partly because of it—we are lonelier than ever. Social media tricks us into thinking that we are engaged in genuine friendships. Yet instead of intimacy, we get little more than what amounts to digital small talk. But there is a solution. In his book, The Loneliness Solution: Finding Meaningful Connection in a Disconnected World, executive director of Crossover Cups Mission and a pastoral consultant, Jack Eason, shares practical advice as he invites readers to discover the bene its of doing life together with other brothers and sisters in Christ. Grounding his message in Scripture, Eason provides help for people who are struggling during these dif icult times.

• learn the obstacles to real community learn the obstacles to real community • reimagine what real friendship looks like reimagine what real friendship looks like • discover a place of true belonging discover a place of true belonging

For those who are tired of being lonely, this encouraging and community-building book is just what they need.

Jack Eason has

been the executive director of

Crossover Cups

Mission for thirty years. He also

consults with a

variety of nonproﬁt ministries, helping them develop successful

approaches to

fund-raising and

development. He and his wife,

Lynette, have been married twentythree years and

have two children. They live in South Carolina.