book & i

B O O K & I

L u o Yu j i a

Publisher: Heliam Publications Sdn Bhd

B O O K & I

B O O K & I

L u o Yu j i a

Publisher: Heliam Publications Sdn Bhd

First published in Kuala Lumpur by Heliam Publications Sdn Bhd Copyright Š Luo Yujia 2017 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without permission of the copyright holder.

Luo Yujia Email: heliamluo@gmail.com ISBN: 982-1-15828519-23-1 Design and Illustrations by Luo Yujia

C O N T E N T S

Prologue 1 Morning-The First Teacher

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Mid-day-Rebellion 9 Afternoon-Insight 19 Tomorrow-Composition 25

P R O L O G U E

Some say when people die, they become books, recording how their life looks. Some become inspirations, some become business cases, and some, love stories.

From what I have tasted of desire for 21 years, my book flourishes even with the first twenty-year chapters. Up, and down. On and off.

Savoring, and what is left is all about drama.

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M O R N I N G The First Teacher

Chapter I

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I will be under the guidance of the first teacher to think about this world.

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P O V E R T Y

I remember when I was six-year-old, following my mother, the first station intersection of the city scene, when my mother took me to the big city, the mother who came to this city to study, in order to take care of me, but also to let me see the bigger world, naturally brought me over.From the small city came us, with naturally not too much money. With the help of my friends and my parents, grandparents, we found a slum living in an old house. Perhaps because it is too hasty, or perhaps because the rent is too cheap, the first night, we lived in the house with actually only a mattress.

Grandmother and grandmother had been old-aged, so it was inevitably given to them the only mattress.My parents were directly sleeping on the wooden bed, think of age is still small, the relatively soft steel bed was given to me. But in fact, the direct sleep on the wire bed is even more uncomfortable, thin hard steel directly embedded in my tender meat. Whether it is the arm, or the back, no matter what kind of posture I changed, this situation made me difficult to sleep. Do not know how long, I always could not help, but go to the parents of the room. Finally, on the first night of the big city, I was sleeping in the bed of my parents.

However, even if we were poor, it is impossible to knock down a naive innocence. In the first few years, even if the family’s conditions are difficult, as a child I still had a very happy time. After school, there were small partners to play with, squatting in the woods to observe the ants, playing computer, and these are my childhood memories of happiness.

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Mother is always kind, and even now, I still think so. She came to this city before, as a junior high school teacher, so my education is her most important thing. Whether it is afterschool homework counseling, or teaching me the truth, she was always dedicated to educate me. Encouraging me to share with friends, leading me to do community volunteer, with my poor travel experience. Now I come back and find the mother's childhood education the biggest impact on me.

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C O M P A R E D

At that time I thought that all the world's mothers should be like her, but there was one thing that surprised me.

It was a hot summer, I and my good friend were happy to play in the yard. High temperature prompted us, and we had to spend some of the pocket money to buy some drinks and popsicles. Just then, a little girl came to us, wanting to follow us to play, we accepted her, to share the idea, I and my good friend, granted some popsicles to the little girl. Soon after the little girl left, I followed my friend back to his home. He was happy to share what happened that day to his parents. When I and he waited for approval from his parents, his mother had severely criticized him and questioned why he had to share the pudding with the unidentified person and told him that there was no profit. Later on the dialogue I have completely forgotten, and shock filled my brain. That thing was worthy of praise, but it received such a result, and facing as a sevenyear-old child with the interests itself was a very funny thing.

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G U I D E

Then, the mother let me leave the community at the time of primary school, went to a very expensive private primary school, and then after a lot of things, let the mother's image, became my mind authority. So in primary school, whether it is ideas, or action, will follow the guidance of parents.

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M I D - D A Y Rebellion

Chapter II

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I shall locate myself in this complex world.

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F E E L I N G

Along with the growth of age, I gradually developed my own thoughts and feelings, or in other words, adolescence. When I first entered secondary school, I was obsessed with Japanese cartoons for hardship from real life, studies and conflicts with my parents which are all difficult to face at that time. The new school atmosphere is hard to adapt into. And with the lurking thoughts of rebellion, my parents’ authority declined. Faced with the pressure, I was in dire need of a spiritual guide. Therefore, I fled into the world of cartoons. The cartoon world is so perfect, with all the friendship, love and kinship we seek for so hard. When my age of rebellion began, I was seeking relaxation from cartoons.

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L A B O R

Children always seek to prove their difference, while adults seek to prove similarity. For me, that is the same. At that time, I always felt that I was so different from my contemporaries, I thought about the law of light traveling, indulged myself in my created own world, and thought about the meaning of life, most of which are so different from my contemporaries. However, it was just these differences that made me feel proud, although my parents were anxious.

That was the coldest winter in my life, as well as the most terrible Christmas. Even in China, Christmas could be felt. On the Christmas Eve, my family moved into a new house, and it should have been happy, until one phone call, which destroyed everything.

That was from my teacher, who complained about my playing in school and not paying attention in class. Actually, I don't even know till today what she said to make my mother so mad at me.

After hanging up the phone, my mother dashed into my room, and when I was still enjoying the happiness to move to a new house, she did unexpected things.

That night was too heavy to remember. I could only remember my innocent crying and my mother cursing, swaying the knife at me.

With the cursing, the red knife stroke my skulls again and again, echoing in my skull with anguished cries. I forgot how long she stroke me and finally she said I need to go to hospital tomorrow, not school.

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I couldn't sleep. I, for the first time, thought about suicide.

Next morning, I was woken before the sun rose and was told to wait in the garden. How cold was the December day, even with heavy clothes, dared I stand against thou play. On the way to hospital, I kept thinking, was I mad? Was I abnormal? I couldn't get an answer, or maybe I was just too little to see.

I really like a saying, if humans don’t have rebellion and just follow the authority of ancestors, human-beings would have just remained in Stone Age. Adults see the world in an adult’s way, and when children grow up, and do not follow their visions, they will try to control them. They want everything to be in control. Humans are trying to differentiate when they are young, and when they grow up, they avoid to be different.

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G R O W T H

In the three years of my secondary school, I nourished love and tried my best to pursue who I loved. I joined political affairs and had my own vision of this world. I encountered music and almost gave up my studies for my music dream. I harvested friendship, trust and help. These three years are dark and meanwhile, colorful.

Happy and meanwhile, anguished. Childish and meanwhile, mature. With the coming of rebellion, p are nts’ au th o r it ie s collapsed. My thoughts were changing swiftly and in these three years, I kept on seeking for spiritual guide, sometimes cartoon, sometimes friendship, sometimes misty love and sometimes the colorful Internet world, which were all the most marvelous and bitter time in my life.

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A F T E R N O O N Insight

Chapter III

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I will observe this world in my own guidance.

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O V E R L O O K I N G

With the coming of high school comes a better financial situation for my family. My family has accumulated considerable funds during my high school. My parents tried to let me taste others after fulfilling my basic education, to name a few, going to high-end-class parties, going to musicals and learning golf. They were trying their best to step up one social class.

After my first year, my parents let me join a summer camp in UCLA. This program is so expensive that I would meet people with wealthy family.

During my camp, talking with them becomes my happiness.

Some of their parents are in high position in government, and some hold several companies. Ferries, private jets, things that sounded so distant, were common to them. They were good at not only studies but also instruments, dance, sports and foreign languages. A wealthy family made them distracted by basic need, and made them easier to devote in whatever they liked. Whatever they wanted, they could be satisfied.

If they wanted to learn piano, they would get educated by masters.

From childhood, they got chances for expensive tutoring and with all above, thy gained so much advantages compared to contemporaries.

Social hierarchy, a once distant word, is actually always close.

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O B S E R V A T I O N

Actually, from my primary years, I was not good at studies, and could not study in the best schools in the city. However it was just because I didn't get to study in a top school that granted me a chance to be a student leader in my school, to represent my school to other delegates from more brilliant schools and communicate with them.

The communication illuminated me about the Class Cure, not only from the monetary level, but the knowledge level as well.

However, I stopped digging the reasons for laziness.

In high school, after communicating with many better students, those with good grades, I found that their parents are always high-achieved scholars. They could not only tutor their children the knowledge, but also the efficient way of studying.

Besides, as high-achieved scholars, parents are able to offer more educational resources, better connection to the world, wealth, and less distraction to their children. These advantages are what children from common families strive to get.

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S U M M A R Y

Social class itself is invisible to those in high positions. They would feel that the social resources and opportunities are born with them.

Those in low positions hardly realize it either. They would feel that they are merely incompetent, lazy, or unfortunate. Maybe, only people like me, who travelled among classes, could ever notice the unfairness of human society. Marvelous as it may seem at first sight, the society has already been lifeless. The flows and shifts of the social class are so few that no matter how hard the children of those in low position try, they are still far way from a fortune. However, the children of those blessed, are granted with not only plenty of resources and sometimes are even more diligent. This forms the famous Matthew Effect, which will be more and more severe.

Looking back into the history, this situation has followed human civilization from the begging, and never disappeared. When the unfairness of wealth share is extreme, there will always be a violent revolution. Human-beings have so far been unable to fix this problem.

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T O M O R R O W Composition

Chapter IV

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I will fulfill myself, in this world.

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A M B I T I O N S

No one can tell about the future. Following my path, learning design, pursuing beauty and art, I think I may be ambitious enough to leave my heavy steps in human history. From what I have observed, my thirst for money is not that strong, and I favor more about self-realization.

In the future of the this path of design, I may focus more on achievements in arts, rather than business. Seek beauty, find beauty and create beauty. I will try to elevate the human civilization, and improve the comfort of living. Let beauty fill every corner of human civilization! Let my justified and correct thinking influence more people! Following this path, I shall do considerably more voluntary design programs, to elevate the experience lower class people have. Meanwhile, I also want to be a grand artist and an educationist. This counts as my life goal, or my dream.

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H A P P I N E S S

Certainly, deep down in my heart, there is still a place for a little dream every common folk has, being normal and stable. I do not seek to be super rich, and I only hope that in the future, I will be able to have a small house, with one big working table in my design studio, with various tools lying on it. In front of the working table is a huge French window. It snows outside, and inside the house is warm, with a lazy cat sleeping.

I crawled on my working table, having finished one design, holding a cup of dog, smiling at the falling snow flakes outside.

From the kitchen came a fragrant scent of vegetable, and that will be my beloved one.

There is a dog sitting quietly in the kitchen, waiting for his meal. Furniture in the house is designed by my fellow classmates, and every poster is a work of mine. My home will be prettier than prettier.

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F U T U R E

The future will always be good, if I work hard now. Whether it is huge ambition or little and accurate happiness, I can live with it, no matter what and try hard for it. Life is short and I want to experience more with the limited time, to learn more about the boundless universe.

This is why I chose design, to accompany beauty all my life.

If life is a book, I will struggle to finished the rest part of it. And hopefully, at the end, there is nothing left to regret.

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A present for the 21-year-old Heliam

A present for the 21-year-old Heliam