Writing Corner Let’s learn writing together
The Gallery
Not corrected
Most of them come from poor families in countryside. They have to work in bad condition, without labor safety equipment. The working time begins at six o’clock and ends at nine o’clock. During this time, they are non-stop working except for a little break at mid day. Some said that they should use hands to protect their ears from the terrible noise from the factory.
Corrected with comments
Most of them come from poor families in the countryside. They have to work in bad condition, without labor safety equipments. Their shift begins at 6 am and ends at 9 pm. During this time, they are supposed to work non-stop except for a short break at mid day. Some said that the best they could do was to use their own hands to protect their ears from the terrible noise at the factory. (be careful with word choice, choose ones that maintain the tone of your story)
A typical case reported was Nguyen Van Den, a 16-year-old boy who was took to hospital on emergency. As the diagnosis, he was suffering from heart failure, inflamed lung due to be toiled in long time. Not corrected
A typical case reported was Nguyen Van Den, a 16-year-old boy who was taken to the hospital on emergency. Doctors’ diagnosis said he was suffering from heart failure and inflamed lungs due to the toil he had endured. Corrected with comments
President Obama’s trip to Asia.
President Obama’s trip to Asia.
President Obama makes his first trip to Asia to attend the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) meetings in Singapore this month. The president will begin his trip in Tokyo on November 12 and 13 and then travel to Singapore for the APEC meeting that runs from the 13th to 15th. From Singapore he will travel toChina from the 15th to the 18th and finally visit Seoul on the 18th and 19th. Richard Bush, the director of the Center for Northeast Asian Policy Studies, says President Obama's Asia trip gives the United States an opportunity to restore relations with Asian nations and to stress the importance of strengthening partnerships among all global powers (synthesized from brookings.edu and csis.org)
President Obama makes his first trip to Asia to attend the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) meetings in Singapore this month. The president begins his trip in Tokyo on November 12 and 13 and then flies to Singapore for the APEC meeting that runs from the 13th to 15th. From Singapore he is scheduled to be in China from the 15th to the 18th and finally to visit Seoul on the 18th and 19th. Richard Bush, the director of the Center for Northeast Asian Policy Studies, says President Obama's Asia trip gives the United States an opportunity to restore relations with Asian nations and to stress the importance of strengthening partnerships among all global powers (synthesized from brookings.edu and csis.org) (My suggestions are options you can use to avoid word repetition when writing about one’s itinerary)