Vulture Bend

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Don Stansberry

Publisher Page

an imprint of Headline Books, Inc.

Terra Alta, WV


Vulture Bend by Don Stansberry copyright ©2017 Don Stansberry All rights reserved. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents, except where noted otherwise, are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any other resemblance to actual people, places or events is entirely coincidental. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any other form or for any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording or any information storage system, without written permission from Publisher Page. To order additional copies of this book or for book publishing information, or to contact the author: Headline Books, Inc. P.O. Box 52 Terra Alta, WV 26764 www.HeadlineBooks.com Tel: 304-789-3001 Email: mybook@headlinebooks.com Publisher Page is an imprint of Headline Books ISBN 13: 9781946664075 (hardcover) ISBN 13: 9781946664020 (paperback) Library of Congress Control Number: 2017941154

P R I N T E D I N T H E U N I T E D S T AT E S O F A M E R I C A


For Norwood (if you weren’t there you wouldn’t understand) As always, Patty, Shay, and Syd.

Acknowledgments Thanks to David Gnegy for the medical information and to Todd Wiseman for the legal help. Thanks to Margaret Hunter for all your help, to Cienna Van Dyke and the PM company for the use of Grand Pointe on snowy days.



Preface Blood. So much blood. I could feel it drying on my forehead and my cheek. It clogged my nostrils. The room was melting around me like a Salvador Dali clock. I was on the floor, I could feel the hardwood with my fingertips. Somewhere outside a solitary bird chirped out a tune oblivious to the gore around me. I tried to open my eyes, but the blood had hardened on my face. I had to wrinkle up the skin on my forehead to get the lids up just a sliver, and then I couldn’t focus. The floor was swelling and then dropping like the ocean. I felt like I was being pressed to the floor by an anvil. My arm lay out in front of me. As I tried to lift it, long flat strings of congealed blood stretched to the floor, anchoring it beyond my control. It dropped back to the floor with a squelch. I felt disconnected and unemotional like I was watching all this from somewhere else. And I was falling, I had the distinct sensation of falling into darkness and there was nothing I could do about it. I knew someone had to be badly hurt. There was too much blood and I was certain it wasn’t all from me. But the ramifications of this didn’t register. I tried to look past my arm and the room beyond. Then I saw her. She was on the floor laying with her back to me. Her blouse was pushed up to her neck. Everything was stained red. Her hair hung in clumps then flattened out on the hardwood. Her shorts were red from the pool around her. My first thought was to get to her somehow. I raised my head but pain detonated in the back of my skull. Dizziness washed

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over me. I tried to crawl, to churn my legs, but there was no purchase. They spun uselessly on the blood slick floorboards. The horror began to creep in. Somewhere deep in my brain the neurons that dealt with emotions began to fire. I closed my eyes and forced them open again. She was still there, motionless and stained in red. The bird outside chirped again. I started flashing back. I watched her arguing with a flight attendant on an airplane. Then I saw her face, smiling and crying at the same time. Then, I felt a kiss in a snowstorm on a deserted street in the middle of a town. I felt myself beginning to get dizzy. It was like in a movie where you’re trying to run to a door at the end of a hallway but the hallway keeps extending out longer and longer. Darkness was creeping into the edges of my vision. I still couldn’t move. My thoughts were slow and foggy. I tried to clench my fist; the one I could see. I watched my fingers close just a bit through the grayness of my weakening vision. My other arm must have been down around my waist somewhere. I concentrated on it and realized I was gripping something tightly, so tightly my arm cramped. With all the effort I could muster I moved my head to get a view down the length of my body. It was enough to make the world spin and to make me black out again. It was also enough to allow me to see that I was gripping my whittling knife. The bird outside chipped again. The grayness turned to black.

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Part 1 Annie Queen of my dreams

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1 Eighteen months earlier I was in trouble. I had been in enough trouble that I could feel it building, like a storm on a sunny day. I sat in a beat up folding chair in a basement hallway. There was a stairway at the end of the hall that had a window on the first landing. I could hear freezing rain tapping on the window. The walls were block, painted an industrial green, and the floor was patched asbestos tile. A boiler kicked on somewhere and a dust bunny, caught by the unexpected flow of air, rolled past my shoe and continued down the hall. I waited. I like waiting. It gives me time to think about things I otherwise would not have time to think about. Like, why can’t you shoot a missile at a tornado to stop it, why do people say it’s nippy outside, or the possibilities of other dimensions? The office door opened and a droopy girl came out in tears. She was bundled up with bags and a backpack and so upset she didn’t notice me sitting there. A voice from inside bellowed my name. I didn’t answer at first, I watched the poor girl trudge down the hall and up the steps. She had been told that her student teaching had been terminated and she would have to take additional classes before trying it again. I could hear her crying in my mind. It was a thing I’d been able to do since I was a kid. My gift my mother told me, a few years before she decided my gift was too much for her to handle. Listening to other people’s thoughts became a burden to me, an emotional anchor that drug me down into their depressions and fears. Early on I felt as if everyone I 8


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looked at silently shouted his or her thoughts to me. I eventually learned how to filter and began to choose who I read. I started learning to use it to my advantage. I became very popular with women and unpopular with the authorities. “Mr. Finn,” the voice said again, but softer this time with just a hint of sarcasm. “Yep,” I said as I stood and walked in. “Wow, she was upset.” He was a big guy with a tight collar and a red face, surely headed for a stroke. The metal desk he sat behind sadly matched the basement office and the career level he had reached. He pointed at the faux leather chair across from his desk. “Do you ever wonder if there are other dimensions and if so are they in the same speed as we are? I mean, if they are moving at a thousand times our speed, we wouldn’t see them. And we would be moving too slow for them to see us.” His collar seemed to shrink. Apparently, he was furious with me. It seemed I had that effect on several people. I was in my first placement for my student teaching and it wasn’t going very well. I had been called “Cavalier” in my studies before, but this was beyond that. “The principal hates you,” he said, She absolutely can’t stand you. She also said you need a haircut. You’ve only been there a week and a half.” “Define hate,” I said. “See, that’s what I mean right there. They don’t know when you’re being a smart-ass and when you’re not. “No benefit of a doubt?” “Tell me what happened with the principal.” “Mrs. Cappman doesn’t like the lower classes, she bullies them. She stopped several kids outside my door and wanted to know what they were doing. She didn’t have a reason, she was just busting on them. None of them would answer her so I stepped in. I told her some questions had no answer. By this time a sort of crowd had gathered.” He started tapping his pencil on the metal desk signaling me to get on with the point. 9


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“So she starts getting hostile with me and says, “There are answers for every question at this school!” “I ask her if she believes in God and she says absolutely. Then I ask her if God is all-powerful and she says absolutely. Then I say if God is all-powerful can he create a rock so heavy that he can’t lift it?” My adviser looked at me blankly. “So she fidgets around not knowing what to say now that she has backed herself in a corner, then stomps off.” “And that’s what made her hate you?” “Yeah, plus the fact that the students applauded. And apparently she is not a fan of the hairstyle” He snapped the pencil he was holding. “Mrs. Berry thinks I’m doing fine.” He squirmed in the leather chair behind his desk. “I’ve been asked to look into your file.” He tapped the folder on the desktop. “I know you’re extremely intelligent, your test scores are through the roof, but your grades are dismal.” He paused and waited for a response. I had none, silence has always been my friend. “There are no notes added to any of the files, which means that none of your High School or Grade School teachers wanted to comment. I talked to several of your instructors here and some of them didn’t even remember you and those who did, none too pleasantly.” “Have you asked any of my students, any of the disenfranchised who now have someone to believe in?” He looked at me long, “You reportedly have a positive relationship with students who have behavior problems, but that still doesn’t tell me why some adults have trouble with you.” I smiled politely indicating I couldn’t understand it either. “In any case I have the reputation of this institution to consider. You screw this up and no principal in the school system wants a student teacher from here.” He watched for a reaction. “So you are changing schools and I decided I’m giving you a peer mentor.”

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I figured he was trying to move my student teaching back another semester, like the girl, and in turn may be force me to reconsider education as a career. I nodded in resignation, agreeing everything was my fault. I reached into his mind and saw he was relishing the day he could retire. “I’m not trying to be adversarial here, but how can this help?” I asked. “It’s a step,” he said. “A process, we try different things and see what helps. That’s what education is.” He tapped his finger on the desk blotter, watching me. A clock ticked on the wall. “Her name is Miss Spencer. She’s agreed to be your mentor and you are reassigned to another school for the remainder of your assignment.” “Miss?” I said. She was probably about eighty with a bun and a cane. He shot me another look. “Yes, Miss, don’t get any ideas. This one will chew you up and spit you out.” He smiled pleasantly. “She’s a recent graduate and is subbing a long term maternity leave at East Dale, your new school.” Probably twenty-four with a bun and a hatred of men. “Tomorrow, twelve noon at East Dale. She’ll let you in.” “Tomorrow’s Saturday,” I said. “In case you didn’t know most teachers spend part of their weekends at school preparing for the next week.” “I did know that,” I said. “I just wasn’t planning on being one those teachers.” He smiled for the first time. “Oh, is Miss Spencer gonna love you.”

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2 One of the strange things about this ESP, or whatever it is I have, is that it manifests itself in ways other than reading thoughts. Not often and not on command, but it happens. I’ve learned how to control the reaching in part but as far as the other things, they come at will and unexpectedly. It’s very unsettling. I had an episode on the way to meet Miss Spencer that morning. I was sitting at an intersection waiting for the light to change when I noticed a delivery van in the cross traffic moving at a very average speed. The name across the back panel was Father and Son Bakery written in script. The instant I saw it I knew it was going to be in an accident. I don’t know how I knew, but I would have bet my life on it. I didn’t see the crash in my mind or feel the fear of the occupants but I knew what was coming. About three seconds later a car blew through the intersection and T-boned the van. It hit it so hard that baked goods flew out the back in a spiral as the van spun around and nearly ended up on its side. Those three seconds before the crash were gut wrenching. I knew what was going to happen but didn’t have enough time to prevent it. As I drove by I could see everyone was out of their cars and seemed to have survived the crash. I was happy to be moving again and to be leaving the helpless feeling behind. There was only one car parked in the school lot when I pulled in. A late model economy Japanese car in some base color brown, about the size of a shopping cart. My car is the total opposite, a 68 Chevelle, kind of loud and painted primer black. I decided to park in the adjacent slot. It was twelve fifteen which was good for me to only be about fifteen minutes late. 12


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The snow was small and stinging, the kind that was hard to see twenty yards away but made mountains disappear at two hundred away. I watched the wind blow a wispy snow wave across the white parking lot. Groups of pin oaks across the campus held their leaves indignantly only releasing one occasionally as a sacrifice to the cutting wind. The parking lot had been plowed once already and the curved piles, molded from the shape of the plow’s blades, chunked up the ends of the lot. The building was a glass and brick modern design with attractive landscaping. Even though it was two stories high it looked low and comfortable settled among the hills. I could see a figure moving inside the building just behind the steel and glass security doors. I hopped out, got my official looking briefcase out of the backseat, and headed toward the doors. It was January and bitterly cold, but all I could find that morning was a zippered sweat suit top. The wind was stinging my face and making my eyes water. I started to jog. She moved to the door with a set of keys in her hand but instead of unlocking, she stood with her hands on her hips and looked at me through the glass. “You’re late,” she said. “And you’re not dressed appropriately.” “What? He said twelve thirty, I’m fifteen minutes early,” I lied. “Also there was a traffic accident.” She was the opposite of what I had predicted. Green eyes and chestnut hair pulled back in a ponytail, she wore trendy jeans and a nicely fitting pink sweater. The perfect girl next door. We stared at each other through the glass, she was only a couple of inches shorter than me. My ears began to sting from the cold. “Your hair is a little long for student teaching. Why are you not dressed appropriately?” She sipped something that looked like hot chocolate from a mug. “I didn’t expect to be outside very long.”

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“Mr. Fleshman said you are trouble,” she said, taking another sip. “I just got started on the wrong foot, haven’t got a feeling for this yet.” I was starting to shake and she could see it. “You know we had a class together a couple of years ago, but you probably wouldn’t remember, you only showed up half the time.” “Changed man,” I said. “I’m ready to teach the youth of America about, you know, stuff.” “I’ll be happy to help you as long as you try.” she said. A leaf blew across the sidewalk and over my shoes. “Cross my heart,” I said and made a little x on my chest. Still she didn’t move. Little gold earrings dangled just below her earlobes. She had excellent earlobes. “Come on, I am freezing out here.” She waited another couple of seconds and inserted the key. I stepped in and she locked the door behind me. I offered her my hand and she shook it, formally. “Call me Finn,” I said. “Annie,” she said. “Your hands are cold.” “I’m cold all over,” I said. She looked me over again like she was examining a dissected science experiment. “Let’s go down to my classroom and you can look at my lesson plans and see if we can find something to warm you up.” She started walking away. “Maybe you could give me your sweater,” I said. She turned and with a slightly tilted head, gave me a look. I raised my hands in resignation and brought an imaginary zipper across my lips and threw it away. I got the look again, but this time there was the slightest twinkle in her eyes. I would have bet she was smiling when she turned away from me. I followed her down a series of hallways. She walked very well. She had a spark about her, a deep undercurrent of sexuality that was purposely hidden or just unannounced. I decided then that I just might enjoy the mentoring process.

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3 Her lesson plans were like something out of a NASA diagram. Color coded by class with enrichment activities for students who finished early, and had the state learning standards listed beside each. Every word was printed neatly with an even hand. She had cross referenced the plan book to a spiral notebook so she could jot down how the lesson had gone. Even I was impressed. She sat behind her desk and watched me as I looked over her plans. “Is this something similar to what you do?” she asked. “Damn, this is in impressive,” I said. As soon as it left my mouth I knew I shouldn’t have said it. “Mr. Finn, you will not swear in this building or in my presence, do I make myself clear?” “Oh, yeah, I’m sorry, I was just so blown away by these lesson plans that I….” She stared at me with those intense green eyes, like a snake about to strike a mouse. “Do you really think that “Damn” is swearing, I mean how do you know? If you’re going to be my mentor we had better define our terms. “If it’s not in the Bible you shouldn’t use it, that’s just my rule of thumb.” “I kind of think it is in the Bible,” I said. “Well if it is, I’m sure it is not in the context of, Damn, this is impressive.” I smiled at that. She didn’t. She asked to see my lesson plans, which I didn’t have. I tapped my temple. “Everything’s up here,” I said. 15


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She looked at me disbelievingly. She opened her mouth to say something then stopped. “Eight o’clock, The Revolution, read and discuss pages 109 to 119, state learning standard 10-7-4.5. Planning period from nine until nine forty-” She held her hand up for me to stop. “You’ve got all that memorized?” “Not memorized,” I said. “I just know what I’m doing. I can give you the discussion points if you like.” “And you can do this for more than one day?” she asked. “I only plan for one week at a time and I’m only teaching two classes right now, but yeah, I can tell you what we’re doing at any time this coming week.” “No wonder they hate you,” she said. “How about that hot chocolate you offered me.” “What about mentoring?” “Nothing better than hot chocolate and a good conversation,” I said. We walked back to the teacher’s lounge and she made me the hot chocolate. It could have felt awkward, the two of us alone in the empty building, but it didn’t. We walked to my new room in the other end of the building and she laughed at the little desk they had given me for my second placement. She told me about Mr. Cooper whom I would be teaching under and explained that he was a little too laid back for her taste. He had agreed to take me because of a small supplement in his paycheck and the possibility of getting out of some of the workload. I hadn’t met him yet so it was good to know what to expect. I sat in my chair and she turned around a student chair and sat across the desk from me. I sipped from my mug and listened to her voice. We started talking about the teachers here and the professors at college, then the conversation branched off into everything. I even got her to laugh a couple more times. The hours slipped by us and it was beginning to get dark. The room on the second floor had a wonderful view of the back campus. I glanced out the window and saw that the snow 16


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had changed. Big, soft flakes falling straight down like they meant business. I said something witty like, “Hey, it’s snowing.” She got up, walked to the window, and gazed out. I’ll never forget that image of her standing there with only the soft hum of the building’s heating system and the background of falling snowflakes behind her. “Want to go for a walk in the snow?” “That would not be appropriate mentor behavior,” she said suddenly, looking as stern as she did when she unlocked the door. “It’s time for us to go.” “Where do you want to go?” I asked. “I am going to my room and get my coat and then go home, you are going to where ever it is you go when you are not here. Make sure the door locks behind you when you leave.” Then she was out the door and gone. I could hear her footsteps fading down the hallway. It was a real psycho exit. I wasn’t sure which side of Miss Spencer was real. I could have reached in, but I didn’t want to. She was different. That night I woke to the sound of screaming. I knew it wasn’t real, more like remembering a scream. It was loud and bloodcurdling. I could tell it was a girl, probably young, and terrified. I turned on the light on my nightstand just to prove to myself that I was at home and found a single drop of blood on my pillow. I checked my nose and mouth then my hands and arms. I could find no cuts or torn scabs. It took a long time to fall back asleep.

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4 I arrived early Monday morning, parked in the spot reserved for student teachers and walked the quarter mile to school. The only job classification lower than student teacher in the pecking order is the fire inspector. A fire inspector’s parking place may be in the next county. I brought a dozen glazed donuts and a couple of hot chocolates and bustled off to Miss Spencer’s room. She was syncing something from a laptop to the Smart board as I turned the corner into her room. I briefly glanced at her when I placed the cup carrier and the doughnut box on her desk. “What’s up mentor lady?” I asked. She didn’t say anything, she just sat there stiffly. Her hair was pulled up in a very severe bun. Her dangling earrings had been replaced by pearls and she wore a gray knee length skirt with a satin cream colored blouse. She was also wearing black framed glasses that gave her an international, intelligent look. Someone else may have thought it too matronly, I thought she was smoldering under those clothes. I opened the box and took a bite of doughnut. “What are you doing, the students will be here in less than an hour.” “I could eat the whole box by myself in that time.” “Why are you doing this?” “Just showing my appreciation, you really are helping me you know.” She stood, put her hands on her hips and said, “How?” I pulled a piece of notebook paper out of my pocket and unfolded it. 18


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She opened it and read. “Lesson plans?” I could tell she was pleased but trying not to show it. “Maybe next time you could use a plan book instead of a crumpled piece of paper.” “Poco a poco,” I said. “Little by little.” She smoothed her shirt, sat down and started typing again. I sat there eating my doughnut and looking at her. I decided that I liked looking at her. The skirt had a slit that showed another six inches of her thigh. I decided I liked the skirt too. I chose another doughnut. “What are you doing?” she said without looking up. “Looking at you,” I said. “What are you doing for lunch?” She stopped typing and looked at me in that way again, like a stray cat that keeps coming back. “I brought my lunch and will be eating it here at my desk.” “Good,” I said. “I’ll come and eat with you.” “No, you’ll have to eat somewhere else,” she said. “Can’t,” I said and held out the doughnut. “These are my lunch.” She stood, walked over, folded the lid back down on the box, and handed it to me. “Go,” she said. I started to believe this hadn’t been a very good plan. I left her a hot chocolate and made for the door. “Tomorrow,” she said. “What? I said. “Ask me again tomorrow.”

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5 Turned out tomorrow wasn’t good either, nor the next day. Each morning I had been showing up with some type of peace offering or bribe depending on how you looked at it. Neither of our resolves seemed to be weakening so on Thursday I decided on a different strategy. I didn’t see her at all that morning. I went straight to my room and my little desk in the back and organized the day’s lessons. My supervising teacher ordinarily arrived just before the students. He was waiting for the day when I would be teaching 100% of the time. I was alone and getting excited about teaching the Cold War. The hallways were still quiet, the fluorescent lights hummed. I could hear the click clack of footsteps coming down the hall. I had learned the rhythm of just about everyone who worked on this end of the building, even some of the students who were always around. She came around the corner and stopped, surprised to see me already here. It was funny, she had absolutely nothing to say. That was the first time I had seen her not in control. She was adorable. I felt something tug at my heart. It was a new experience, exciting and frightening at the same time. I wanted to reach inside to see if she was feeling the same thing but I couldn’t. Well, I could, but it felt dirty, like looking in someone’s window. Not with her. “Hi,” I said. She was wearing a button down emerald shirt, untucked, and black pants. Her hair was pulled back. “Hi,” she said. “I was wondering if you wanted to observe a lesson of mine this afternoon. You could critique it for me.” 20


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She was either very fast on her feet or this had been on her mind for a while and she had been forced to ask me about it now. She didn’t want me to know she had come looking for me. I told her I would be there on my planning period and she thanked me and left, leaving both of us with an uncertain but satisfying victory.

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6 Most classrooms fill from the back, but not hers. The students wanted to be as close to her as possible. Of course, no one wanted to show that, so there were groups of boys and groups of girls, but it was obvious, at least in this situation, they weren’t that interested in each other. They came in a little loud but settled as soon as she looked up from her plans. I started reaching into them as she started the lesson. Teenagers are about the easiest to read. I imagine it has something to do with hormones and the inability to suppress feelings. This bunch was churning out the testosterone and estrogen like crazy. There were three boys that were deeply in love with her and about ten who were deeply in lust. Most of the girls wanted to be like her, the rest were jealous of what the boys thought of her. There was only one guy I got an odd vibe from. He sat halfway back on the far side of the room. His coat was buttoned up tight and he looked uncomfortable in it. I can’t read minds per say, but I can reach in and find what they are thinking about. I can’t arbitrarily pick out something I’m looking for, I get what is least guarded by the individual. I associate it with remembering an odor. If we close our eyes and try to remember hot apple pie or the smell of a pine tree I bet we can come pretty close to actually smelling them. That is what happens with me, I can see into their memory. Sometimes the memory may only be a few seconds old or it might be something from the distant past that they were thinking of. So, when I reach into someone I don’t really know what I’m getting until I get it. 22


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That’s the way it was with this kid in the coat. I was getting a bleak image from him that was threatening and malicious. He was guarding his thoughts, not from me, but not wanting anyone in. I could feel his isolation. Once when I was young my friends and I were exploring woods near our neighborhood. We came across a horrible stench and followed it to the carcass of a dead deer. Scientifically minded as we were, we began poking it with sticks, rolling back the slimy fur and revealing a pulsating mass of maggots. The odor was something I can remember to this day. Change the smell into an emotion and that is what I got from this kid. He had been through something horrific or was headed towards it. He oozed of hate. I couldn’t concentrate through the rest of the lesson. When the bell rang, I walked out with the class, his bitterness entrenched in my mind. I went back to her room at the end of the day. Normally I took off as soon as I could. I had decided that after school was off limits as far as pursuing Miss Spencer, but I couldn’t get this kid out of my mind. “So, I guess you didn’t think much of the lesson?” she said before I could say anything. She was sitting behind her desk working on her laptop. “I thought it went well. The class was engaged and we reached the all lesson objectives.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “I couldn’t concentrate on the lesson, it’s something else.” “Alright, I thought this might be coming but I didn’t expect it this soon.” She leaned back in her chair and folded her hands on her desk and looked prepared for a long discussion. Her cheeks and neck started to turn red. “I’ll have to agree there is an animal attraction between us.” She looked down at her book as she spoke. “But any type of relationship would be inappropriate.” The kid in the coat temporarily forgotten, I couldn’t help grinning, “Animal attraction? Really, Miss Spencer I never knew you thought of me that way.” “Stop it,” she said blushing even more. “I know you have been having the same feelings.” 23


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I had been pursuing her since we met, and the first time that I had an actual concern about something work related worked better than any of my cheesy tries that had failed. “Why inappropriate?” I scooted a chair around and sat. She looked more beautiful than ever and now knowing she had some kind of feeling for me, I felt like a sixth grader. This wasn’t like me. We heard a slam of a door then footsteps coming down the hall and we both sat up a little straighter. Annie looked like she had been caught in a crime. Denise, the teacher across the hall stuck her head in the door and looked at us sitting there like we had been caught doing something. I smiled my winning smile. “I’m leaving,” she said. “Have a nice weekend.” She paused a second and looked at me without expression then turned back to Annie. “Forget about this place for a couple of days and relax, it’s a long time until June.” Her footsteps faded. “See why it’s not appropriate, we almost got caught talking about a relationship.” “Sounded to me like she was giving her blessing. Relax and enjoy she said. You’re too tense.” I started to stand. “Maybe you need a neck rub.” She jumped up like she was attached to a brand new spring. “No,” she nearly yelled. I had to laugh, which started her laughing. Her cheeks reddened again. “Denise has become a good friend. She said if she weren’t married she might go after you.” “So, you two have talked about me,” I felt like a seventh grader this time. “Well, we obviously need to talk about this, do you want me to come over tonight?” I asked. “No,” she said again. “There is nothing to discuss. This is something we both have to ignore.” I drummed my fingers on the desk and thought. Finally I said, “Nope can’t do it. I think too highly of you to allow you to go through life thinking I might have been the one that got away.”

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“I’m your mentor and nothing else,” she said sounding like she was trying to convince herself. “Okay, Mentor, we really do need to talk about something,” I said. She leaned back in her chair, the flush left her cheeks. She undid something behind her head and her hair fell down around her shoulders. I lost my train of thought again, I had to look away and focus. “There is a kid in the class I observed today. Sits on the far side of the room, looks deeply introverted, and pulls his coat up tight.” “Yes,” she said. “His name is Kevin.” “There is something bad there, like dark. I think he’s going to do something.” She settled back in her chair. “How do you know that? You were only in my class for an hour.” “I can’t tell you how I know, I just do. Has he ever done anything strange in class?” “No,” she said. “He really doesn’t do anything at all. I can’t remember him interacting with the other students. But remember I have only been here a few weeks.” We were quiet for a couple of moments then Annie pulled up Safe Grades on her laptop and found Kevin’s class. After a few more keystrokes she said, “He has a C average in my class. I don’t have access to his other records.” “How do we get those?” I asked. “I’m not sure. I suppose we could ask in the office.” Friday afternoon is like a big exit sign in a high school. The normally loud halls are barren except for the custodians who methodically work their way from room to room. The school clubs and organizations never meet on Fridays. Aside from sporting events secondary schools cease to exist.

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Charlie Forty years earlier, The grades lay in an unopened envelope on the torn, vinyl passenger seat. The van, which had been kind of a crappy graduation gift, had rolled over a hundred thousand and sported primer or rust on all four corners. It had only one hubcap and even that was dented. Charlie didn’t have the courage to open the envelope; he knew what it said. After the first semester, he had been put on academic probation, and this report card looked like his ticket out the door. Back home to live with his miserable Grandfather and work at the junk yard. So, after his last final, which was just a series of random guesses, he tossed all of his belongings into the back of the van and hit the road. Sadly enough his stuff only took up half the cargo bay. He did have the forethought to clean out his bank account the week before finals, which for the first time in his life put him one step ahead of trouble. He was still about a hundred miles away from home and was running on fumes. The windshield was blurred with so many bug guts that wipers were useless. It was past dusk and the ark shaped rainbows of bug residue bled all the tail lights together. Charlie purposely cut a guy off and swerved onto an exit. He did things like that when he felt the pressure building in his head. Now he felt like someone had hooked a compressor to his brain. He pounded the steering wheel and laughed when the guy he had cut off laid on his horn. Charlie was a little bent. He pulled into the gas station which had both full service and self-serve pumps. He chose the full service just to see if the service station man would give him any lip. A guy could hope. The man that came to the window was elderly and thin. Probably a grandfather, the kind a kid would like to go fishing with, or hear stories from. The kind that would scruff up a kid’s hair or on a rare occasion, give a hug. Charlie hated him. He stepped up to the van window and looked in. He took a quick step back. It seemed that Charlie filled the passenger compartment. 26


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“Give me twenty. And get the windows.” Charlie said and handed him a wad of fives. “Yes sir,” the attendant said. He put the nozzle in the tank and got started on the window, making sure not to look too deeply into the van. Charlie watched him, keenly aware of the man’s trepidation. When the pump clicked off, the attendant screwed on the cap and closed the gas door and stepped up, but not so closely this time and said, “Got you all fixed up, sir.” Charlie didn’t say anything; he just stared at the man. Drops of sweat trickled down both men’s foreheads. “Have a nice night,” the attendant said. He turned and walked away from the pumps praying the man didn’t want anything else. Charlie’s attention had turned elsewhere. Across the street on the other side of the intersection was a lighted pair of the famous Golden Arches. For the first time that day Charlie drove the van slowly and cautiously through the intersection and into the parking lot. He backed into a space so he could watch the people inside. Unknowingly, he was looking for a victim. There was the usual kind of customers, bachelors picking up a burger on the way home, families after Little League games, a couple of guys on their way to a bowling league. There was another group that sparked Charlie’s interest. In the corner of the restaurant, off by themselves was a group of teenagers. Maybe more like pre-teens, Junior High. The girls were trying to look more mature, the boys looked like little punks. Their hair was over their collars and hanging in their eyes. They had that little tilt and shake of the head that flopped the hair back so they could see. Obviously there had been an after school dance or some kind of social event because the girls wore short frilly dresses and each had their long hair pulled back like Marsha Brady. They were laughing and the boys were showing off in the stupid way that only boys of that age do.

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Charlie got out of the car walked in and stood at the counter. Once he ordered, he turned and glared at the kids, just hoping one of the little brats said something to him. A couple of them walked right past him and went into the rest room. One of the boys came up and ordered more fries. Both times they did the worst thing they could do. They ignored him. Furious, he clutched his bag of hamburgers and went back to the van. He watched them as he ate. Every now and then he would take a pull on the straw of a coke, never looking away from the kids. Suddenly one of the girls stood and spoke to the others, they all were saying something back to her, but she shook her head. She had long blond hair and wore an orange polka dot dress. She retrieved some books from a nearby table and went out the door waving to her friends through the glass. Her dress was very short. She wore shoes with big bulky heals like Cher. Charlie could hear her heels on the pavement as she walked past the van and turned right down the sidewalk. He liked that sound. The die was cast. He contemplated killing her. He’d really rather kill one of the boys, grabbing one of their throats and squeezing, but he couldn’t do that. Killing a boy would be weird. If he ever got caught people would think of him as a perv. He wouldn’t like that at all. But if you killed girls, well, that was something different. People would think of him as a monster. Fear and panic, yeah that was the ticket. Thinking about it was one thing, but he wasn’t completely sure he could do it. He was sure of fear, he loved that. He could scare her and for some deep dark reason, that was what he wanted most of all, to see the fear. That would relieve the pressure in his head. He started the van and slowly slipped out of the parking lot and down the street. At first, he thought he had lost her. It was a long street, block after block of houses with cars parked on the curbs in front of them. Every fifty feet there was a street lamp illuminating a small area of sidewalk directly beneath it. She was in a dark 28


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patch when he first pulled out, but then she emerged in a lighted spot. He caught up with her then slowed so the van was slightly behind and matching her speed. There was still a line of parked cars between them but he could still hear the click of her heels. She noticed him right away and kept glancing back over her right shoulder. Her pace quickened and he hit the high beams. The next time she looked back he saw it, the fear in her eyes. He thought it was great. About a block later she started to run. She held her books against her chest and her hair streamed out behind her. She was fast, even in the high heeled shoes, and might have gotten away if it hadn’t been for the giant oak tree. The tree was in a dark spot between two of the street lights. The roots had grown under the sidewalk and lifted the edge of one of the cement panels. The girl tripped over the uneven cement and crashed head first into the side of a parked car. Charlie could hear the hollow bang inside the van. He got out and came around the car and saw her sprawled on the sidewalk, books flung out in front of her. She was like a gift. The car door was dented and a scuff mark was left on the edge of sidewalk where she had tripped. That was the only evidence that anything had happened there that night. Charlie grabbed her wrist with a massive hand, dragged her between two parked cars, and tossed her into the back of the van. She came to rest against a box of Charlie’s unwashed jeans. He went back and retrieved her books. He had a case of eight tracks, stolen from his ex-roommate. He grabbed one without looking and shoved it into the tape deck that was bolted on under the dash. Stairway to Heaven crackled from the cheap speakers. He didn’t know anything about music and had never heard of Led Zeppelin, but the music fit his mood. It pulsed and beckoned at the same time. An electric guitar had never sounded so good, never spoke to him the way it was now. It was the soundtrack for his work. *** 29


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He drove toward home until the eight track played through twice. His plan fell into place like a script had been written just for him. Bits and pieces that had clung in his memory for no reason were suddenly puzzle pieces that turned the worst day of his life into the best night. He had passed the Drive-In dozens of times, never dreaming he would enter it with a body. Tonight was Monty Python and Jaws. The kid working the ticket booth asked, “Just you?” “Supposed to meet somebody,” Charlie said easily. “If she doesn’t show, I can watch the movies.” The kid took his money and handed back a ticket. Good luck with that, he thought. There’s no girl showing up for a guy like you. The van wove its way down the rows and stopped beside a speaker pole. He rolled down the window and hung the speaker on the inside. The light from the movie screen passed through the windshield and illuminated the orange dress in the back of the van. He thought about the people in the cars around them, how clueless they were. That made him happy. He forced himself between the bucket seats and over the boxes of his belongings. The girl was laying on her stomach with one arm underneath her and the other over her head. She had been quiet during the entire trip, at least quiet enough not to be heard over Led Zeppelin. When he rolled her over he realized why. She had a huge lump, almost the size of a baseball covering her forehead. Her brain had to be hemorrhaging. Charlie placed the other arm above her head and straddled her, then lifted one eyelid with his thumb. A blue vacant eye stared through him. He slapped her hard across the face. Her head rebounded unyielding. He sighed, this was depressing. Scooting down, he sat on her thighs and contemplated the dress. It was collarless and sleeveless with eight buttons

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going down the front. Slowly he began unbuttoning them pausing between each. If she were conscious now she would be trembling. He lay one side of the dress over then the other side, exposing a white bra and briefs. From where he was, he could push aside a couple of boxes, then lean off her onto his side and reach under the driver seat. It was there, just as it would be in a horror novel, a Bowie knife in a leather sheath. The edge glistened in the movie light as he freed it. He took it out of its case and laid it flat against her stomach then slid it under the center of her bra. The blade rose slowly until the honed edge cut into the material and the bra was severed in the middle. He laid the knife on her stomach and forced his hands roughly across her chest feeling for her rib cage. Finding the arched center, he took the knife and placed the tip under her breastbone and leaned forward. The blade went in slowly and smoothly. He didn’t stop until it pierced her heart. The blade was long enough that he could feel it click against her spine. The pressure in his head abated for the first time in weeks. Blood oozed around the blade. He left it there and climbed into the driver seat and watched the movie for a while. He would have liked some popcorn but the thought of leaving her saddened him. He knew that sounded a bit twisted, but twisted was becoming the new normal. He tossed out the speaker and headed for the exit. The same ticket guy was still there. Charlie gave the guy a palms up, hunched shoulder gesture and the guy mirrored it back as if to say better luck next time. What was it the Id? Or the Ego, or the Super Ego? He didn’t know. That was something a college student would know. He wasn’t a college student any longer. Whichever it was, he turned off his conscious thoughts and let the Lizard Brain take over. Strictly speaking the Lizard Brain is responsible for aggression and fear, but Charlie’s worked on another level. It knew that Charlie couldn’t survive now without killing, so it’s only concern was to keep him from being caught. 31


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It felt like the car was driving itself. He didn’t knowingly understand where he was going. The mile markers whizzed past. By the time he figured it out, the perfection of it, he was another hundred miles down the road. His grandfather had once owned a fishing cabin a county away. At the time it was little more than a lean to, and he was sure it had fallen down by now. The land still belonged to his grandfather as far as he knew. Charlies’ memories of the place were not that pleasant, it was a frightening place for him. It was strange there. It was located on the Ohio River, in no man’s land and had two characteristics that were perfect for him. The locals called the place Vulture Bend because of the colony of vultures that live in the area. He remembered the first morning he was there, he saw them fly off in the early light and return at dusk, bellies full of rotted meat. The birds kept people away, their toxic droppings fell from the trees by the pound. Charlie figured if they were still there he might just be able to provide some nourishment for the flock and dispose of some evidence at the same time. The second reason the property was perfect was the marsh. The bank rose about three feet above the water level then flattened off for about twenty yards. The cabin was to the back of that. Someone had cleared off the whole area but left a stand of trees between the river and the cabin. It was hidden from vandals or vagrants from the river on all four sides. Behind the cabin was the marsh. Everyone feared the marsh, even his dad, and his granddad. No one knew how deep it was, it didn’t seem deep. There were a few plants that grew in it, mutated cattails, and sickly water lilies. Several half dead trees stood around it, but animals stayed away. Old timers said there was underground connection between the river and the marsh, others thought it was some kind of runoff cauldron from the massive hills behind it, but everyone agreed on one thing; there was no bottom.

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There was only one time Charlie was allowed near it. His dad and granddad had brought an old refrigerator from town. Charlie figured it had come from the junk yard but he wasn’t sure why they had brought it clear out here. They usually got decent money from scrap like a fridge. Plus, they had used a good bit of rope to secure the doors. Granddad didn’t often throw away good rope. Charlie wasn’t much good at putting two and two together, especially back then, but that’s around the time they told Charlie his mother had run off with another man. They let Charlie watch them dump it into the marsh. It must have been heavier than it looked because they really had to struggle with it. It rolled down the small embankment, did two cartwheels in the air, and landed at the edge in a foot of water. This was about dusk. When they checked the next morning it was gone. Vanished. The lesson was not lost on Charlie. The headlights cut across the gravel road. There it was, just as he remembered it. The road ended abruptly. He got out and listened. There was no one around, he could hear it and he could feel it. The moon was bright, no need for a flashlight, he was being guided by the Lizard Brain. The cabin was in a heap. The roof had collapsed, probably due to a heavy snow, and the sides had fallen like dominoes over the years. The clearing wasn’t as clear as he had remembered. The grass was knee deep and saplings sprung up everywhere. But that was not a problem, nothing was a problem tonight. He hurried back to the van and retrieved the body and carried it back to the clearing. There he removed the bloodsoaked clothing and laid her near the tree line. Charlie spent some time gazing at her in the moonlight, contemplating the evening’s events. He wondered if the police were searching for her yet, or if the other kids had been interviewed. The thought of being caught never entered his mind. Once the plan revealed itself in his head, he stripped off his bloody clothing and returned to the van. There he found another 33


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set of clothing in a box and the Bowie knife. The back of the van was a sloppy mess, nothing to do about that now First, he removed her head. It wasn’t difficult with a sharp knife and Charlie’s strength. Then he stuffed her clothing down one of his bloody pants legs and the head down the other. Last, he pushed his bloody shirt in behind the head and tightened the belt, which was still on the pants, and found his way to the marsh. There he tied the two pant legs together, and swung the whole thing like a hammer throw into the marsh. It landed with a quiet splash and just sat there halfway submerged in the oily black water among the floating vegetation. In the morning it would be gone. Charlie went back to the body, dressed it in clean clothes, and got on the ground beside what was left of her. He snuggled in next to her and slept like a baby. *** The next morning, he awoke to an extraordinary sight. As the first rays of morning light shafted through the sky, they illuminated the top branches of trees that flanked the property. Dozens of vultures lined the branches, backs to the sun, wings outspread absorbing the heat. The six-foot wingspans were like a sinister salute to the night’s debauchery. Soon they would be battling each other to feed. He stayed until the only thing left was the skeleton. He picked up the bones and carried them to the marsh. The pants and head from the night before were gone along with any trace of the girl, whose name had been Eve.

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7 I was sure once we got to the office the door would be locked and Kevin would continue to go unnoticed at least until Monday. But, we rounded a corner and could see a secretary through the glass wall. She was typing away and continued as we stepped up to her desk. Her nameplate read Miss Melrose. “What can I do for you Miss Spencer and Mr. Finn?” She still hadn’t looked up from her computer. “How did you know who we were?” I asked. “School secretaries know everything,” she said. Then she tipped her head toward a hidden bank of security monitors. I leaned around the desk to see. There were nine screens that continually flashed different areas of the school. “I just use the cameras to know where everyone is, but I still know everything.” She kept typing. “What do you need?” “We would like to see a student’s records,” Annie said. I didn’t think she was going to stop there so I interrupted. “We would like to see if he has a 902 plan.” Miss Melrose stopped typing and looked up for the first time. She looked us over, suspiciously. She rolled her chair over to a file cabinet and retrieved a key on a lanyard, then tossed it to me. “Records are still on paper and in the locked room at the end of the hall. The light switch is on the wrong side of room. You have to hold the door open and get to the other side to turn it on. There is a clipboard on the shelf with a form that needs to be filled out, name, student’s name, time, reason for looking at records, and time signing out. Door has to be locked at all times.” She smiled and looked us over again and repeated, “The door has to be locked at all times.” 35


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Annie turned red again and started to say something but Miss Melrose held her palms up in front of her as if to absolve her from anything that might be going on. As we started to walk down the hall she said, “I’m leaving soon so put the key back in the drawer. And by the way, for future reference, there is no such thing as a 902 plan.” I held the door open as Annie crossed the room and flipped on the lights, the door locked behind me as it closed. Annie slapped me on the shoulder, hard. “Why did you make that up, we don’t have to lie about being here.” “No, but we have to lie about WHY we’re here. I can’t tell anyone how I know about this kid.”

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8 The room was small, twelve by twelve with file cabinets against one wall and a folding table against another. The metal cabinets were arranged by grade, then alphabetical order. The light switch was in the outer office. The file, when we found it, was as thick as a Sunday newspaper. This was a kid that had trouble from day one. He just didn’t fit into the structure of the school environment and the system had tried to make him fit. He had been subjected to psychological tests yearly, forced to be in classes with students he felt inferior to, and had been pounded into the proverbial square hole. His records gave us some insight to his problems but didn’t provide us with any information to what he may be capable of. She closed the file, put it back in the cabinet, and sat back down. “What now, Inspector Clouseau?” “I guess we just watch him,” I said. “Maybe keep a written account of what he does in class every day.” “I can do that,” she said. “Don’t you think we should tell somebody?” “We got no real proof of anything. Police can’t do anything, neither can the administration.” “Okay, we watch,” she said. I opened the door for her. She turned out the light and stepped toward me. The lights went out, then I dropped the key. Not on purpose, I promise, but it turned out to be a lucky break. The door closed and it was pitch black. Her momentum brought her close to where I had stooped and was searching for the key. Her shin hit my shoulder. 37


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“What are you doing?” she asked. “I dropped the key,” I said about the same time my hand touched the lanyard. I stood with my back to the door, the light still out. I knew we were nearly face to face. Neither of us spoke. I couldn’t see her but I sensed she moved even closer. I could hear her breathing, waiting. I could imagine what her hair would feel like. I wanted to pull her close, nestle her against my chest. My heart was beating so hard I was scared she could hear it. I reached into her mind. I didn’t try to do it and I didn’t try not to. It happened so naturally I didn’t realize what had happened until it was over. She wanted to run her hands along my shoulders and her fingers through my hair. She wanted to, but wasn’t going to. She was trying to reign herself in. Something was holding her back and it wasn’t me. “Now what are you doing?” she whispered, a little breathy. I paused, trying to relax my voice. “Got them,” I said. I reached behind my back and pushed the door open. Light flooded in and there she stood, not six inches away. “Sure you’re ready to leave?” I said. She didn’t answer, she pushed past me and out the door.

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9 The next two weeks were great. We ate lunch together and walked out of the building together after school. The other teachers got used to seeing us together, Annie wasn’t always happy about that, and the students sometimes made comments when we weren’t together. Although she was bright and happy when we were together, she refused to see me outside of school. But we were building a relationship, not a physical one, but a strong one. My rep at school was improving also. The relationship I had with my students was getting even better. My methods and management were also skyrocketing. Corny as it sounds, I wanted to prove myself to her that I didn’t have to be a punk just skimming by. Also the teachers and students had such a high opinion of Annie that when we were seen together, people automatically thought higher of me; improvement by association. I was involved in one incident that upped my credibility with the students. The gym was housed in a different area connected to the main building by a covered walkway. The walkway is visible from a window near a candy machine I visit every morning after second period. As my Zagnut dropped into the tray I saw a group of kids gathering on the walkway and blocking the flow to and from the gym. If you are at a school for anytime at all, teacher or student, you know this is not a good sign. I could see two heads above the gathering crowd.

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By the time I made it outside the students were three deep in a semi-circle around two guys. They were both huge. One was huge, tall and lean, the other huge, soft and fat. The lean one was smirking and had a threatening stance and the other one’s face had gone red. He was mad and getting madder, and looking like he was going to launch into the lean guy even though he knew he would be slaughtered. Most of the people around them were yelling at the lean guy, whose name I learned was Trevor, to stop. Trevor wasn’t going to stop. I slid through the crowd until I was in the front row, almost right between them, and unwrapped my candy bar. I took a bite. A girl, who had been the most vocal in her disapproval of Trevor’s behavior looked at me and yelled, “Stop them!” I took a step forward, pushed the chewed bit of Zagnut to the side of my mouth and said, “Stop it.” “Stop what? Trevor said. The smirk never left his face. “Don’t know, don’t care, just stop what you’re doing and leave,” I said. He was a half a head taller than me. “Don’t be dumb.” For the first time, he turned his full attention towards me. “Are you calling me dumb?” “No, I don’t know if you’re dumb or not. If I had to guess I’d say probably,” I bit off another bite of Zagnut. “But I can say I don’t like you. I don’t like you and I don’t even know you.” Now I had his full attention. I had the crowd’s full attention also. Trevor was confused and didn’t know what to do about it. But he wasn’t going to back down in front of everyone. “Bet if we weren’t here at school you wouldn’t be saying that. You know I can’t do nothing to you here at school.” ‘It’s, you can’t do anything, not, you can’t do nothing. Two negatives can’t go together,” I said. “Besides, if you want to do something go ahead. I won’t report it.” “Right,” he said. “Go ahead. Scouts honor.” I crossed my chest and swallowed.

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It didn’t take long, he lunged at me with a left jab. I leaned back four inches and he missed. He swung with a big looping right and I ducked. His fist flew over my head. I straightened up and took another bite. He looked at me, and I, at him. I changed hands with my candy bar and lightening quick I brought my right hand up and flicked him on the tip of his nose. Just like flipping a crumb off a table. Instantly his eyes began to water. “That’s it,” I said. “Everybody back to class.” And they went, including Trevor and the other kid. Before lunch everyone in school had heard about it.

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10 I had started teaching a bit at a time. I’d do one lesson in second period then one in fifth. Mr. Cooper basically lectured then gave quizzes. I’d always start with some kind of discussion. First with something current or important in the kids’ lives then relate it to the subject matter. The Principal stopped in once when we were having a lively discussion about real spies versus movie spies. Then I brought the discussion back to the Cold War. The Principal seemed happy with what I was doing. The Kevin file, as we called it, was growing thicker but lacked anything we could take to authorities. Annie tried to get him more involved in class discussions but he continued to be disenfranchised from the class. I watched him as much as I thought I could. The smoldering hatred was still there and growing. I decided something was going to have to give. I had a plan but I wasn’t sure she would go for it. “Let’s drive by his house tonight,” I said as I was walking her out to her car. “We can’t do that,” she said. “What if someone sees us?” “We’ll wait until its dark,” I said. “You do it. Go by yourself.” “Can’t. Do you know how odd that looks, a male student teacher outside a student’s house at night? Same thing goes for you. If we go together and get caught it looks like we’re two bungling, but concerned educators. Alone it’s just too weird.” She was giving it some thought. I think she wanted to do it on some level but something was holding her back. Maybe she 42


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didn’t trust me or maybe she didn’t trust herself with me. I’d prefer to think the latter. Anyway, she decided she would go if she drove and picked me up in a neutral location. I agreed and almost asked her to shake on it then decided a smart remark might just sour the whole deal. I was thrilled. I was going on a stake out with my new girlfriend.

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11 Since it was still about an hour until dark she decided we would each go to our own apartments and meet at the mall parking lot. She still refused to allow me to pick her up and insisted we set a time limit on the stake out. I didn’t want to push it so I agreed to all her terms. All I know about surveillance is what I have seen on TV and read in books. And all that was pretty much fiction so the chances of us really learning anything were slim. This was an opportunity to be alone with Annie and I planned to take full advantage of it. I showered and pulled on a long sleeve tee shirt and jeans. I wasn’t sure of what was appropriate wear for a stake out date. I had some cologne someone had given me, but it was old and smelled a little like something medical. I found the only dark coat I own, a beat up black leather thing, and decided gym shoes didn’t give me the look I wanted. I went with a pair of steel-toed boots from my days working in an aluminum factory. I pulled into a parking slot at the side door of JC Penny’s, the predetermined location. She pulled in a minute later and motioned for me to follow her. She slowly drove though the parking lot and stopped in a space about half way back. I parked as close as I could and got out. “Why back here?” I said as I climbed into her car. “I don’t want anyone to catch us when I let you out.” “We’re normal people who can go to the mall together,” I said. She just looked at me and frowned. 44


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“Why didn’t we take my car?” I asked. She said my car was too loud and conspicuous which was true, but the last two times we were alone, she left abruptly and she couldn’t do that if I was driving. This way she could take off and make me walk home if I misbehaved. Kevin’s house was only about five miles east of the mall so we were there in no time. It was situated on a quiet street in a low-class neighborhood. There were seven houses in a row that looked nearly the same, the only differences being the color and the style of porch. The whole neighborhood looked like it was all built by the same developer at the same time. A sidewalk ran parallel to the road with cars parked along one side and a three foot bank on the other. The bank allowed the front yards to be above the sidewalk and traffic, but created the need for cement steps from the sidewalk to the porch. Our target house was second from the end. Kevin’s house had a porch that ran the length of the house with a solid banister around it. There were three half columns on each side that rested on the banister and supported the porch roof. A light with a yellow bulb illuminated the house number and part of the front yard. Overgrown yews lined the porch and the paint looked dirty and peeling. We drove by the first time to make sure we had the right house. The second time we found a place to park diagonal to the front porch. At about fifty feet we could see the porch through the windshield without craning out necks. The night was cold and clear and frigid air seemed to creep into the car from all directions. Annie wore a baseball cap with her pony tail pulled through the opening in the back. She was bundled up and strapped in pretty well so the chance of romance was pretty slim. We settled in and started talking. Her parents were dead, both taken by the big C. Dad lingered five years with prostate, and mom went quickly with colon cancer. She had no siblings. Her parents had no siblings. It was possible there were some relatives somewhere but as far as she knew she was alone. I listened and she talked. I liked watching her mouth move. She unburdened herself. I wondered 45


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how many people she felt she could talk to like this. Maybe she had been waiting for someone like me, or maybe I had just shown up. Either way, I didn’t care. She had gotten through college on scholarships and hard work and was fiercely driven. I could understand why I had been matched up with her considering my reputation of ambivalence. My adviser had decided that she would either shape me up or kill me. He had been right. She wanted to know about me. I told her there wasn’t a lot. She asked where the quid pro quo was in that, so I had to give her a little. I said my dad had taken off when I was young. One day he was there then next he was gone like smoke. For most of my childhood it was just mom and me. She had some problems, I realized later that was why my dad had left. She died my freshman year of college. I left it at that. About twenty minutes into our conversation Kevin’s door opened and a woman stepped onto the porch. She wore a long puffy coat and a scarf wrapped around her neck. Her hair was covered by a knit cap although it would be impossible to tell the color because the yellow porch light tinted everything. The hat made her look crazy, even though we couldn’t see her face. She took a long last drag on a cigarette and flicked it into the yard as she stepped off the porch and down the sidewalk. Her car was parked more or less in the parking place in front of the house. It had the same general appearance of the house, worn and beaten but usable. Once inside she started it up and I could see the reddish light of another cigarette being lit. She allowed the car to warm while the smoke from the tailpipes blossomed around the rear of the car. After a time she must have decided the car wasn’t getting any warmer. She put it in gear, drove to the end of the street, turned left and disappeared. “This is perfect,” I said. “What, what are we going to do now?” “I’m going to look in the windows to see who’s in there. If nobody is home I’ll go in and look around.” 46


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“What! You can’t break into a student’s house. You’re a teacher. Are you crazy?” “What did you think we were going to do just sit here all night?” I don’t think she heard me. “No, no way. I’ll drive away, I’m not going to be part of this.” “You already drove me here, you’re an accomplice already,” I said and smiled. “I’m just messing with you. I have an idea but I am not going to do anything unless you say it’s alright. Okay?” She released her grip on the steering wheel and her shoulders relaxed under her coat. “Do you promise?” I crossed my heart. My scaled back plan was only to walk around the house and look in any window that had lights on inside. I’d walk around once and come back to the car. If anything happened, like we were spotted, she would slowly pull around the block and I would meet her on the diagonal corner of the next block. She reluctantly agreed, but only if I agreed we would be gone in five minutes. The stake out, she decided, wasn’t her cup of tea. She took off her ball cap and handed it to me. I put it on and pulled it down low in front. “Spencer for Hire,” I said. Not a single car had passed since we had been parked and it was too cold for anybody to be out walking. I closed the car door behind me and listened as I purposely strode across the street. I had read that if you look like you’re going somewhere nobody notices you. I kept my head down and my hands in my coat pockets. I passed between two parked cars and got on the sidewalk. I thought I could hear a TV on in the house beside Kevin’s. I hopped up the front steps and onto the sidewalk that led to the porch, but before I got there I veered to the right and into the darkness between the houses. I realized I was leaving footprints in the snow but that couldn’t be helped. There were no lights on this side of the house at all. The blinds were pulled and felt 47


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like they had been that way for a long time. A Walmart bag had blown into one of the bushes and gotten caught. It trembled with the slightest breeze. A dilapidated deck ran along the back of the house. A gas grill was turned over on its side and lawn chairs were scattered and discarded across the deck as if left there on the last day of summer. Still no lights. I was beginning to wonder if I was wrong about Kevin and he was snuggled up with some sophomore girl somewhere. As I rounded the next corner, I saw the adjacent house was illuminated by a light coming from Kevin’s. The upper two floors were dark, but there was a small rectangular window cut into the foundation of the house. It was partially hidden by the yews, but the lights inside were bright enough to light up the outside. I had to get on my hands and knees to look. The glass in the window was dirty, so I wiped a porthole with one hand while balancing with the other. The ground was wet and snowy and I felt like a peeping tom, which I was. What I saw confirmed my fears. I was up and continued the rest of the way around the house and down to the sidewalk. My mind was reeling as I got to the street and began to cross about five car lengths from Annie. I was so concerned about what I saw that I didn’t hear or feel someone behind me. A hard push sent me into the middle of the street. I felt a hand on my shoulder grab then pull me around. That gave me enough time to know that the guy was going to come at me with a roundhouse right. So when he pulled me around I bent at the waist and let the punch fly over me. I stood up to face him with my hands still in my coat pockets. He was a big guy. I’m around six foot and he was a half a head taller. Jeans, leather vest, and shaved head. “What you doing snooping around, white bread?” he said, which was strange since he was as white as I was. I heard Annie start the car behind me.

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I reached into him quickly and realized why he was perturbed. Meth cooker, lots of cash around, thinks I’m looking to rob him of product and money. “I asked you a question you……” I didn’t let him finish, I kicked him as hard as I could in the knee with my steel-toed boot. I still had my hands in my pocket so he didn’t have time to shift his weight. I felt the cartilage rip and saw his knee bend backwards. But, to his credit he didn’t go down. He bent over and grabbed his knee with both hands. I could feel the pain explode like a red, hot cloud in his head. In the movies, I would have hit him with an uppercut to finish him off, but in reality I thought his head looked so hard I would have probably broken my hand. Annie gunned the car and pulled up beside me. I tipped the bill of Annie’s cap to the guy and got in. We left the guy in the road holding his leg. As we fled the scene I felt I needed to tell Annie something to let her know that our scrape with danger was worth it. “I’ve something really horrible to tell you,” I said. “I have something to tell you too. I have a boyfriend.” The fact that I saw Kevin building pipe bombs paled in comparison.

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12 We drove in silence as it started to snow again. I had dated plenty of girls with boyfriends. It was fun for a while, like romance in a spy movie. But, I’ll admit this stung a little. More than a little. That’s what she had been holding back. “I saw that man walking up behind you and I thought, he doesn’t even know I have a boyfriend. I don’t know why but that seemed important.” She was looking straight ahead when she was talking but now looked over to me to gage my reaction. I didn’t want to over or under react so I redirected. “What’s his name?” “Frank. He’s finishing up his law degree at Ohio State.” “How long have you been seeing him?” “A couple of years.” She paused and shook her head the slightest bit. “No I’m lying to you again. I have no reason to hide the relationship but, I feel like I’m cheating on you with him rather than the other way around.” “Oh so we are going to cheat? I asked innocently. “No, you know what I mean.” “So how long?” “I started seeing him when I was a freshman, he was a senior.” “Wow,” I said. “So this is pretty serious.” “Yes, I guess. It’s been steady.” I didn’t want to ask what he looked like, I already knew. Probably a tall blonde guy. The kind that tossed his head and his hair went back into place. Cable knit pastel sweaters and was a badminton champion. Loser. 50


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We rode in silence the rest of the way back to the mall. I was trying to digest the conversation and Annie seemed to be wallowing in guilt. I’m not real sure what she felt guilty about; I hadn’t even touched her...yet. Maybe she felt guilty about feeling guilty. That made me feel better because that meant she had to have strong feelings toward me to feel guilty and feel bad about them. Yikes. I realized that I wasn’t that great with women without relying on my psychic power. She pulled her car into the space beside mine and turned off the motor. “So now what?” she said. I didn’t know, so I redirected. “About what, our relationship…” She interrupted, “We don’t have a relationship.” I guessed she had decided whom she felt she was cheating on so I explained I had seen Kevin at a worktable sawing off pipe into foot long sections. “We need a plan,” I said. “A plan?” “We need to figure out how to work this,” I said. “There is no plan. We don’t have to figure anything out. We have to tell the police.” Her voice had risen several octaves. She was panicking. “Listen,” I said, “I can’t be involved with the police.” “What is that supposed to mean? Are you in witness protection program? Oh, my gosh, I knew there was something funny about you.” “I’m not in any program, it’s a little complicated.” I was starting down a slippery slope here and had to be careful where it led. On one hand, she was the first person I had ever thought I could trust with the knowledge of my ability. On the other hand, she had lied to me about her boyfriend. Maybe not lied but misrepresented. “Follow me back to my apartment and I’ll explain what I can,” I said. “No, no way,” she said. “We’re going to have to talk about this. We can’t do it at school and we can’t sit around in our cars. That does look 51


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suspicious. I don’t know much about bombs, but those looked almost finished.” I sensed she was wavering. “Look, you have your keys and your car, you can leave anytime you want.” Before she could say anything, I opened the door and stepped out, then leaned back in. “Just follow me.” I got in my car and started across the lot watching her in the mirror. She just sat there at first, then she slowly started my way.

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13 It was an easy five-minute drive back to my apartment. During the drive, I tried to visualize what level of messiness it might be in. Usually it’s pristine and neat. No blankets askew on the couch, no dirty dishes, and no magazines splayed on the tables. I started to worry that if things were too neat she might think I had planned to bring her back. I didn’t usually over think like this, and that made me worry. We pulled into the parking lot adjacent to my building. I had the top floor of a two-story brick commercial residence. The ground floor was split between a prosperous hot dog joint called, “Growlin’ Dogs” and a not so prosperous baseball card shop named “All Star Cards.” It didn’t look like much from the outside. The wooden steps ran diagonally up the side of the building ending in a small roofed porch at the top. The entire entrance was about forty-five feet long and fairly steep. I was halfway up the steps before she got out of her car. “I wouldn’t put too much weight on the banister,” I called. “It isn’t built too well. “I’m not sure I should…” She started, but I was already inside, leaving the door open. After what seemed a long time, she poked her head around the door frame. Her purse was held tightly against her chest. She looked as though that was as far as she was coming. “If you’re worried about being seen, you’re standing in the worst possible place,” I said. 53


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She looked around behind her and saw the cars on the busy street below. She practically hopped inside. I had spent a lot of time and money on my apartment. It was big, about eighty by forty. That includes the living, dining and cooking areas. The bedroom, closet, and bathroom areas were another forty by thirty feet, but she couldn’t see those from where she was standing. I had scrubbed and sanded about a hundred years of grime off of the oak floors, which had turned out beautifully. The side walls were exposed brick and the one on the right had arched windows. The windows were practically floor to ceiling and nearly unnoticeable from the street. The ceiling was eleven foot high and painted black. I bought a couple dozen industrial hooded lights to hang on chains to illuminate target areas. The door to the private area was in the center of the fourth wall opposite the front door. The kitchen was to the left of that, open and modern with an island/ bar to separate it from the rest of the space. Annie looked around, still clutching her purse and planted in the same spot. “Come on in,” I said. I motioned her toward the sitting area with a worn leather couch facing the windows. It looked old but wasn’t. It had set me back a pretty good chunk of change. The area rug was old but looked new. I had refinished a trunk I was using as a coffee table in the middle of the space. She walked over slowly and sat not on the couch with me but in one of the patterned chairs that flanked the area rug. She took off her coat and scarf and dropped them on the floor beside the chair. I did the same. I had left the book I was reading on the coffee table. She picked it up and looked at the cover. “What’s this? Secret Blood? “Yeah, it’s about the CIA cloning Jesus,” I said. “Sounds dreadful. Is it any good?” “It’s alright.”

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“You certainly are full of surprises,” she said. “How do you afford all of this?” I guess I wanted her to be impressed but I hadn’t thought about the consequences. She was the first guest I had ever had. “I don’t know, I did most of the work myself.” “What about the furniture, the appliances?” she said. “I had some money saved up, a lot of the furniture I did myself. I go to estate sales.” That part was true, I had picked up some really large pieces cheap that were too big to go into normal size houses. I only know how to do the distressed look, which is to paint them either blue or green then sand down the corners and polyurethane them. I had several scattered throughout the place. She looked at me like I was asking for next week’s paycheck. “What about your landlord? Doesn’t he care if you wreck the building?” “You call this wrecking the building? I asked. “You know what I mean.” “He doesn’t care,” I said. It didn’t come out right, I knew it when I said it. I was trying not to lie and not completely tell the truth and she sensed it. It’s a teacher thing. “How can he not care?” “Because it’s me. I’m the landlord. I liked the apartment and I bought the building.” She sat for a moment, then “You’re telling me you own the entire building?” “It’s not a big deal. Really.” She got up to leave then sat back down. “Every part of me says to get as far away from you as I can.” “Not every part of you,” I said. She ignored me. “There are so many things about you that just don’t add up. You’re not right.” “And yet here we are,” I said. “And yet here we are,” she said.

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14 We just sat for a few moments then she started to cry. Very softly at first, then big sobs. You can tell when people aren’t used to crying, it comes unnaturally to them. She wasn’t a pretty crier. I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t want to act unsympathetic, although most of the time watching someone cry doesn’t bother me in the least. But with her it did. Again I redirected. “Let me get you something,” I said before I realized I didn’t have tissues and was already standing. I would have to choose between toilet paper and paper towels. The kitchen was closer than the bathroom so it was paper towels. She gave me a look when I handed a couple to her. I gave her a raised shoulder, raised palms look. “I’m not a tissue guy.” I sat back down, not knowing what to do or what to expect. In my experience, I’ve found that I’m often in situations where I don’t know what to do, but rarely in situations where I don’t know what to expect. I didn’t like it. Annie used the paper towels, wadded them up as if to say, that’s enough crying, and tossed the wad on to the coffee table. Then, she stood and kicked her shoes off and came to the couch. Boyfriend aside, I was starting to get very enthusiastic about this date. She sat, curled her knees under her, and nuzzled in against me fitting perfectly like the spirals of a nautilus shell. I raised my arm and let it drop behind her shoulders so it rested across the back of the couch but I could still touch her hair with my fingers. 56


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She felt perfect beside me. I could feel her chest rise and fall against me as she breathed and I could feel her warmth. I’m not sure if it was her perfume or body wash or something else but it was so her, so perfect. I looked at our reflection in the window with the city lights a distant dimension behind us. I kept driving the thought of the boyfriend from my mind. This was what I had wanted from the moment I saw her. Well, not the first moment but close. “Do you like me?” she asked. “I’m going to go out on a limb and say yes,” I said. “Don’t be a smart aleck” she said. “I don’t mean like in seventh grade, do you think I’m the kind of person that a person like you enjoys being around a lot?” “What do you mean, a person like me?” “You know, you’re intelligent, but act like nothing remotely bothers you. You’re doing well at school, but I still can’t see you spending your life in a classroom. You’re good looking and apparently rich. Women swoon at your glance.” “You forgot suave,” I said. “I’m working toward suave.” “There you go again,” she said. The snow had started coming down again. Big heavy flakes dropped from above and passed silently out of sight. A few slapped against the window, melted and slid down the pane. The traffic light three blocks away swayed and blurred due to the heavy snow. “I’m not asking you for a proposal, or even a serious relationship you know. I just want to know what you think.” This was a trap, though unintentional, and not something I wanted to do on the night the boyfriend was first announced. I decided to redirect. “I’m at a little disadvantage now,” I said. I was trying to sense any rigid body language as I talked. “Because of this boyfriend thing. Yes, I like you. Probably more than you’ll ever know. Certainly, more than I’ve ever cared about anyone before. It didn’t start out that way, I mean I thought you were good looking, but now my feelings have grown. Just like in one of those sappy romantic comedies.” 57


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She remained quiet. I couldn’t feel her tighten up or relax. The snow was really coming down now. “But, I can’t say that now because there is a competition between me and what’s his name. I’m going to feel like everything I do or say is going to be put on a ledger sheet like a debit or credit. And I’m not rich.” She must have mulled my little speech over quickly because she said, “You are such a girl, is that a yes or a no?” I had to chuckle, “That is a yes.” Before I knew what was happening she had swung around and was straddling me on the couch. I looked up into her eyes and forgot about the boyfriend. She kissed me hard and deeply. She ran her fingers through my hair and across my shoulders. I pulled her hips in tighter and held her waist. She explored my mouth and ran her fingers around the edge of my ears. I automatically slid my hands up the back of her shirt, I just did it. It was the first time I had touched her skin. It felt soft and feminine and was electrifying for both of us. She broke the kiss and slowly pulled her shirt over her head and threw it on the floor. Her stomach was taught and shoulders athletic. She watched as my eyes took her in. I’m no expert on ladies’ underwear, but this was not a bra someone would wear on your average stakeout. This one was meant to be seen, to be enjoyed by the viewer. It was black and lacy and very, very flattering. I was hoping it was part of a set. I brought my hands from her back to her stomach and slowly slid them up and over her bra to her neck. Our eyes locked until I ran my fingertips just under her hair line at the back of her neck. Then she half closed her eyes and shoved her head back, burying my fingers deeper into her scalp. She kissed me again, but this time she rolled off me onto her back, pulling me on top of her. “Aren’t you the nimble little minx,” I said into her ear. And she was.

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15 I woke up sometime in the middle of the night and the snow was a foot deep in the windowsill. Annie was spooned against me on the couch breathing delicately. We were under a warm throw and partially dressed. I started thinking again, which wasn’t good, and decided to wake her up. “Hey,” I whispered in her ear. “Hey, wake up. Mr. Cappman is on the phone and wants to know how I’m doing.” She twitched, then relaxed, then stretched like a cat. “Let’s take a walk,” I said. “Outside?” “It would get sort of boring in here. You know, redundant.” So, we threw on the same clothes plus a couple of extra layers of my tee shirts. Each step of my stairway had at least a foot of snow blown smooth by the wind. We spent twenty minutes clearing a path by pushing the snow off with a broom. The roads hadn’t been touched and no traffic had been through. Every now and then the wind would kick up and we could hear it howling though alleys and back streets. The snow was still coming down at an amazing rate. All detail was erased from the streets and buildings. Annie’s car was a white lump in the parking lot. We walked hand in hand through one empty intersection after another. Right down the middle of the street leaving only our footprints behind us. The scene felt like something out of The Twilight Zone. The irony was that only a few hours ago, we were sneaking around, afraid to be seen together, and now walking down Main Street holding hands. 59


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The next intersection had a traffic light but was also lighted by streetlights on two corners. The snow fell silvery white. We could hear all the individual flakes hitting around us. We stopped in the dead center of the intersection. “Remember this moment,” I said and kissed her. The snow swirled and the wind blew. We embraced undaunted. It was the best moment of my life. “Do you think this is what Heaven is like?” Annie asked. “I don’t know,” I said looking into her eyes. “I feel so completely unburdened. Time doesn’t exist.” An empty store front stood neglected on a corner of the intersection. I pulled Annie close s0 we could see our reflection in the dark plate glass window. I put my arm around her shoulder and she put hers around my waist and cuddled in. There we stood, covered in snow with flakes streaming down around us. That was as far as we made it that night. We retraced our steps, nearly erased by the wind and new snow, and made it back to my place. Most of our clothing was damp so we left it to dry by the door and wore only the bare necessities, and she scurried to the warmth of the throw. I made hot chocolate and we watched the sky lighten. Then, just like in the movies, her phone rang. We both froze. She let it ring, but it brought us both back to reality. “Aren’t you going to answer it?” I asked. I reached into her thoughts, I felt a little guilty, but I did it. It was him. He called every Saturday morning. He was probably calling so early because of the storm. She felt bad for not answering. She also felt bad for being here. She really felt bad for last night. Then her thoughts changed a bit. She didn’t feel guilty about last night. That a girl, I thought. He was forcing things along too fast, working on his time schedule, not hers. I got all that in about three seconds. “No, I’m not.” “You don’t have to feel guilty,” I said. “I don’t feel guilty, I don’t want to talk right now.” “You seem a bit distraught,” I said. 60


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“I’m not distraught and I don’t want to talk to him and I don’t want to talk to you about him. At least right now.” “That sounds distraught to me.” She halfheartedly threw a pillow at me. She pushed me hard and I fell on the couch. Before I knew what was happening she jumped on me and was biting my neck. Giggling, we fell on the floor along with the pillows and throw. Before long we were a tangled writhing mess. She kept biting, but not as hard.

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16 We saw the first transformer blow about an hour later. There was a loud crack and a glorious orange fireball rose into the sky. It flamed out quickly but smoldered for an hour or so. The power company did not come to the rescue. This was a business district and I wasn’t sure anyone but me lived within a five-mile radius. The snow continued. We heard three more transformers go in the next two hours. The last unfortunately, was one that supplied power to my apartment. I had a plan B but I wasn’t going to let Annie in on it yet. I was starting to get hungry and my thighs were aching from walking through the shin high snow the night before. I made a quick list of things I needed to do. “Do you want to go on a little adventure?” I asked. She was up for it so we dressed in warm dry clothes, she looked cute as a bug in a pair of my jeans, and descended the steps again, sweeping as we went. The snow had lessened but the amount on the steps was about as deep again as the night before. We rounded my building through the virgin snow and went to the back of the parking lot to the shed where I stored the building’s tools and equipment. I brought my large key ring, the five pound one that had keys to everything, and unlocked the shed door. The snow blocked the door and made it difficult to force open. Together we got it open enough to get inside. I grabbed her and kissed her again. “Is this the adventure? We could have done that inside where it’s warm,” Annie said. 62


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“Now every time I come in here I will think of that. This shed has been christened,” I said. “But the real reason we came is this,” I pointed to a Honda generator on wheels. “Last summer someone hit a pole and the hot dog shop lost power for a couple of days. It was a mess. They lost all the meat and the sauces and vegetables they had. I got them this generator for emergencies.” “And we can use it?” she asked. “Technically it’s mine, so yeah.” “I also had the electrical hooked up so I could use it when they weren’t using it. Can’t power the whole apartment, but we can keep the heat on and run a couple of things.” With Annie’s help I pulled it to the back of the building and got it started. Adventure number two. I pulled out the keys again and opened the back entrance to Growlin’ Dogs. “What are you doing?” she said. She looked around like we might be seen. “Foraging. We need food. Their sauce is great.” “We’re stealing from them?” “Don’t worry about it,” I said as I slid off my boots. “I’ll take it off their rent. Take your boots off, I don’t want to leave puddles.” So, we found a bag and filled it with as many food items as we could carry. “Another room christened,” she said. This time she pulled me around and planted a big one on me. Behind the door was a large roll of plastic sheeting, the kind used to cover a broken window or temporarily patch a hole in a roof. Annie picked it up and put it under her arm. “What’s that for?” I asked. She put her index finger up and tapped me on the nose. “Don’t worry.” We locked the door and climbed the steps back up to my apartment. Time for Adventure Number Three. This would be one that I’d have to manage on my own.

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There was a lot of snow on the roof. Maybe two feet, maybe more. It was a flat roof and I wasn’t sure how much weight it would bear. I did know I would not want the newspaper headlines to read “YOUNG TEACHERS FOUND IN DEBRIS OF COLLAPSED BUILDING!” We decided I would go up and shovel and she would stay down and start organizing the food. I got the sense she wanted to explore my apartment on her own. Maybe snoop a little. That was fine by me, I would have been disappointed if she didn’t. The private sections of my apartment consisted of my bedroom on the right and a bathroom on the left. These were behind the back wall of the kitchen. Behind them was a closet that ran the length of both which was accessible through a door in my bedroom. Both the bedroom and bath were designed from what I had seen in a renovation magazine. I have to admit they were nice. Access to the roof was through a drop-down staircase in the closet ceiling. The rooftop had a door to a staircase like the buildings in New York. Once on top I had a difficult time finding the edge of the roof. The snow was so deep I wasn’t sure if I were a yard or an inch away from the gutter. It was slow going at first, but as soon as I cleared the edge, the job became manageable. I just pushed as much as I could over the edge of the building. Two hours later the roof was practically cleared. The sky was still a flat gray and the snow still filtered down but the storm was over. The city was incapacitated and it would be days before all the streets would be cleared enough to have school. I had heat, food and the only person with whom I would want to be stranded. Even my grammar was improving. I was drained when I descended the stairs and called for Annie. I could smell the sauce warming and see my candles glowing on my barn-wood table. I had two iron chairs that originally belonged to a patio set I had repaired and painted black. Annie was sitting in one of the chairs wearing only one of my tee shirts she must have liberated from my closet. She smiled coyly and picked up a remote that was lying on the table. 64


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Marvin Gay’s voice flowed from the speakers. She motioned for me to sit down. The table was elaborately set with rich napkins and place mats that looked vaguely familiar. The candles made even my stuff look good. “I see you have gone through my drawers,” I said. “Yes, both figuratively and literally,” she said. “I can see we are conserving the clothing.” “I hope you don’t mind.” “There may be other considerations due to the fact we may be here a while,” I said. “Such as?” “We’ll run out of food.” “We’ll steal more,” she said. “You don’t have a toothbrush.” “I’ll use yours.” “Clean underwear.” “Not a problem,” she said crossing her legs demurely. I felt my heart beat in my temples. “I gotta admire that pioneer spirit,” I said. “Do you play guitar, or are those decorations?” I had two guitars in stands and three hanging on the wall. The Caster sisters, the telly and the strat, both Fenders, were in the stands and a Les Paul, a ‘64 F hole Gibson and an Ibenez on the wall. A big Marshal amp on casters was kind of pushed back in the shadows. “I play,” I said. “Play me something later?” “Maybe, I specialize in Zeppelin,” I said. “What about the Beatles? I love the guitar solo in Let It Be.” “Don’t know it right off, but I can usually figure it out,” I said. “Kind of getting hungry.” “Before we eat I believe that a little first aid is in order.” “What first aid? “Were you complaining of sore thighs? “Yeah but…” I said.

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She reached for her purse, which was by her feet and pulled out a hair clip and her black framed glasses. She expertly twisted her hair into a bun and clipped it to the back of her head. When she donned the glasses, she looked like she did on the first day we met. I still couldn’t believe I was here with her now. Like I said the bathroom was large with a slate floor and an oversized shower. I had done everything but the plumbing myself, even all of the subway tile. She led me back there by the hand. A dozen candles, probably the rest that I owned, sparked and reflected off the mirrors and glass. On the floor was the plastic sheeting and a bottle of vegetable oil. “I would like you to remove your clothes and cover yourself with a towel. You may use a folded towel for your head. Let’s start with you on your stomach. I’ll be back in two minutes.” She closed the door. Ten seconds later I called, I’m ready.” She stifled a laugh and came in. I was facing away from her but heard her open the oil. She sat on the towel across me and poured a line of oil across my shoulders. She rubbed my neck and shoulders then moved down each arm. “Where did you learn how to do this Miss Spencer?” “I read,” she said. She rubbed her oily hands up the back of my head. I felt her slide off my body and into a position where she could do my caves. Then she did the backs of my thighs. After a little more oil and a lot more rubbing she said, “All right,” I raised my head but could only see directly in front of me. The shirt she had been wearing hit the wall and dropped to the floor. “Time to turn over,” she said.

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17 After an interesting shower and a lovely hot dog dinner she sat on my couch in a bathrobe she had found in a drawer while searching for clothes. I swore to her that I hadn’t bought the robe and didn’t really know where it came from, but she refused to believe me. She said I was a closet Hugh Hefner and I probably had a few silk ascots hidden around somewhere to wear with it. “What are we going to do about Kevin?” she said. I hadn’t had Kevin on the front burner for a while. One reason for that was he was just as stranded as we were. Unless he was content blowing up his own house, which I doubted, or his neighbor’s house, no big loss there, he was going to have to wait until the roads were cleared. The other reason I hadn’t worried about Kevin was that our entertainment director here at ‘snow in central’ was doing an excellent job. “I don’t think there is any immediate threat,” I said and explained why. I did mention that I thought she was a superior snow day partner. “Let’s make a list of things we need to do.” I got a tablet, handed it to her, and sat next to her on the couch. “One,” she said. Her legs were tucked under her again; she held the tablet on her thighs. “Tell the authorities about Kevin, without letting them know we sneaked around his house.” “And without getting me involved,” I said. She gave me a Miss Spencer look and said, “Two, have Mr. Finn explain his mysterious past.” 67


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“Three,” I said. “Have Miss Spencer explain her romantic future.” She put the pencil on the pad and tossed both onto the coffee table. “It’s going to be difficult to figure number three without understanding number two,” she said. There was an ugly silence. The first is always the worst because the parameters have not yet been established. She didn’t say anything, she was a hard head and it looked like she was going to make me make the first move. She stared straight ahead, in my bathrobe, on my couch. I reached in again. And again, it was a conscious decision on my part. I need some strategic planning. I was going to lose her if I said the wrong thing. She was sad, sad she had trusted me and let her guard down. She was scared she had ruined her life that she was going to have with Frank. She was looking at me like I was a menace to her future. Like I was going to run to school and tell all the students about us. Hey guys what did you do over the weekend? Wanna hear about me and Miss Spencer’s weekend? “I’m the same person I was an hour ago,” I said. “You liked me then, at least I think you did.” I sat on the coffee table facing her. “I haven’t done anything illegal, it may have been dangerous in a way, and I don’t want it to spill over to you.” She wasn’t the kind of person who could love without trust.

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18 I was telling the truth, mostly. My talent at entering minds was a perfect fit for black jack; Las Vegas and Atlantic City during the high-volume times. With the right dealer, I could make a thousand in a night. My formula was I would win twenty percent of the time on the first night seventy percent on the second. Then disguise myself at the next casino. Most of the places had facial recognition but if I wore glasses I thought I was safe. I would only hit the same place once a year. The problem was the casinos communicated and even though I was not a high roller, the money started adding up over time. Once a casino reported a guy had been successful, the cameras were trained on him. Disguises didn’t work. Soon I was on watch lists and bull necked guys in black blazers were inviting me to leave. I might have been all right if I would have lost more, but I hated giving the money back. My next step down a darker path was poker. The hotels didn’t bother me if it wasn’t their money I was taking. For a couple hundred the concierge could get me into a private game as often as I liked. They could wear all the dark glasses and hats they wanted, I still knew what cards they were holding. The best part was there were very few locals in these games, so no one remembered me. I didn’t have to lose to keep playing. I started looking at six figure nights and I seemed to have found the perfect career. Then I got into the wrong game with the wrong guy. He lost big and I won even bigger. He swore a lot, wore a dress shirt that had buttons pulled so taunt I was sure someone was going 69


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to lose an eye. He was unpleasant, and probably connected. He perspired constantly. It was nearly dawn and the game was ending. As I stood he reached across the table and shook my hand and smiled, like a shark would smile. He stood and kept my hand. “How’d you do it?” he said. The other players had either left or were leaving, so he wasn’t quiet. “Do what? I said. He squeezed my hand hard. “Do I look stupid to you?” My mind reeled with replies to that. “Do I?” he said squeezing even harder. “The question perplexes me,” I said, redirecting. “You’re perplexed, huh? You didn’t seem so perplexed a few minutes ago.” “Yes,” I laughed. “Confusion will be my epitaph.” “If that’s what you want, it’s okay with me.” He wouldn’t let go. He kept squeezing and sweating. I looked into his mind. It didn’t take long. I started pumping his hand hard, like I was excited to meet him. “Don’t do this now. Don’t say anything,” I whispered. “The place is bugged.” He looked at me with flat eyes. “Do I look that dumb?” Again, I kept my thoughts to myself. “They know about the pizza places, the money coming from Rocko.” I thought my delivery was flawless. He released my hand and kind of shook his shoulders and relaxed his neck. His face was expressionless but I could see he was trying to think. Trying was the paramount word. It was like watching a mushroom try to think. Then his eyebrows nettled together. “Why are you giving me the heads up?” “Because if they do this tonight I’m gonna have to give the money back and I don’t wanna. I earned it,” I said. He had thrown a sports coat over the couch and he retrieved it. It barely reached around his stomach. “This better be on the up and up kid. I’ll find you.” 70


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“Yeah, you’ll find me to thank me.” “I’ll find you,” he said again. He left and I followed before he realized the bugs, if they really existed, could have heard me warning him. I raced down the stairs, fifteen flights, and took my own advice. I went straight to my car and drove home. My life in gambling was over. I knew if my face showed up in the paper or on any newscast I may be hunted down. Maybe I was being paranoid but I wasn’t going to take the chance. Not as much for my safety as for Annie’s. But that was only part of it. I was scared. I thought she would reject me. Who would want to be with a person who could always know what you were thinking? Everyone has secrets, good, bad, big, little, important and trivial. There would be no surprises. Birthdays and Christmas would never be the same for her. If I could I wouldn’t tell anyone, ever. I was afraid this might be a deal breaker. She sat there looking at me with those eyes, so intense, so utterly and so completely her. I couldn’t tell her. Not about my talent, not about the mafia. Not now, not yet. We heard a rumple outside. Two snowplows were following each other up the street, one in the left lane and the other in the right. There was a lot of snow but they were making the road passable. “I’d like to leave,” she said. “I don’t want you to leave like this,” I said. She was getting angry now, “Do you think this is something I normally do? I’ve taken the biggest gamble of my life on you! And you won’t, you won’t even be honest with me? Really, I don’t know who you are. How can I trust you?” The tears started and she put her head in her hands. I had not gotten to curl up with her and fall asleep, or make her breakfast, or watch old movies with popcorn. She stood, wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, and walked into the bathroom. I knocked on the door. “Please don’t leave like this. Please don’t leave at all,” I sounded pathetic.

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I heard her moving around on the other side of the door and it opened up moments later. She was dressed and had folded my robe and placed it on the sink. She didn’t acknowledge me as she walked by. I reached out to touch her shoulder and saw the blood for the first time. She left a trail across the hardwood floor. It flowed from gaping wounds in her back and legs. It squirted from a slash carved from her neck. “Annie,” I yelled. She turned quickly, shocked by my voice. Then the blood was gone, in a blink of an eye, even though I hadn’t blinked. It had seemed so real. I grabbed her and ran my hand up and down her back then over her neck. She looked at me like I had really lost it. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I thought something had happened to you.” She shook my hands off and walked toward the door. “I’m going to use your broom to push the snow off my car, then I’m going to clear a path to the road. I’ll leave the broom at the bottom of the steps.” She put on her coat and left. I got my coat and followed. We spent about ten minutes clearing her car and another forty clearing a path through the parking lot. I tried talking to her the whole time, but she either ignored me or gave short answers. She said she would take care of the Kevin thing and I shouldn’t worry about getting involved. If I tried to call her or talk to her at school she would talk to the Principal. She got into her car and drove away. I stood there and watched her go as the sun came out and began to melt the snow. Charlie 1979 Charlie was evolving. From May 1975 through December of 1979 he had killed nine times. The pressure in his head would build like a washing machine revving to a higher cycle. He could hear it and feel it in his temples. He felt like he was in a laundromat and one by one the machines would kick up

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to higher levels, dozens spinning faster and faster whining all around him. He found, it even seemed odd to him, he could fight the pressure by planning the abduction. As long as the Lizard Brain was working on the kill it was semi-happy. Not as happy as when the knife was penetrating, but enough to soften the washing machines for a while. The second victim was six months later and two hundred miles from the marsh. He was trolling, something he liked to do on the weekends when his granddad got so drunk that he could have set off a bomb in the junk yard and the old gas bag would have slept right through. He followed a city bus, not close but close enough so he could see who got off. She got off at the first stop and her fate was sealed. Charlie followed the bus past her and turned down a side street a block away. The intersection on that block had a tall hedge that edged the property on the corner. He parked the van twenty feet down away from the intersection on the wrong side of the road. Then he crouched in the shadows, a two foot long pipe in hand and waited. She walked by without seeing him; never knew what hit her. In one step he was behind her swinging. Charlie was a big man and his adrenaline was surging. The back of the girl’s skull crushed in with the wet sound of a hammer and a pumpkin. He tossed her and the pipe into the back of the van and disappeared into the night cursing himself for killing her outright. He drove straight to the marsh after that, playing Led Zeppelin the entire way. He spent more time with the body this time, this one was wearing jeans and proved to be harder to remove than the dress. The Lizard Brain told him that the clothing would be a way to get caught, physical evidence had to be destroyed. The vultures seemed to be glad to see his van pull up. They flapped and squawked and nipped at each other. He could see them in the moon light, like high priests shrouded in their black

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feathers, ready to play their own part in the end game. His little joke to himself was Charlie’s birds not Pavlov’s dog. After that Charlie discovered outdoor rock concerts. Not the stadiums, the festivals. Big fields, plenty of girls walking around sometimes not completely in control of themselves, almost like a Charlie drive thru. The first one he attended he spotted a dozen vans like the one he drove, or the murder mobile as he fondly thought of it. Park in the back and walk up to the stage, or just wait in ambush. It wasn’t a stretch to see a guy carrying an unconscious girl over his shoulder at a Grand Funk Railroad show. As the seventies ended Charlie found seven more victims at concerts all plunked on the head, stripped, stabbed, and dismembered. The vulture colony grew larger and the marsh remained hungry. The washing machines continued to whine.

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19 I did exactly as she asked. Didn’t want to, but I did. I stayed away. Sometimes I would go to school early and find a classroom that had a view of the parking lot and watch her walk from her car to the building. I guess that sounds kind of creepy, but it would brighten my day just to get a glimpse of her. Once I brought a box of hot dogs and left them on her desk before she got there. I left a note that said, “Lunch?” but heard nothing back. I didn’t go to her room early or stay after the students left. I think the kids picked up on my absence, but no one said anything to me about it. She handled the thing with Kevin remarkably well. The Monday after the snowstorm she talked to the Principal and they called the police. She said another student had tipped her off but the student did not want to be named. The police pressed her on this but she said she’d go to jail before she’d give the kid up. Kevin was placed in some type of criminal hospital to be evaluated. The experts seemed to think a trial may be a couple of years away, if there even was one. The story made national headlines not only because she had foiled a deadly attack, but also because she stood up for the unnamed student and refused to name him, protecting his privacy. It was a ‘him’ because no one at the school had ever seen Kevin talking to a girl. Annie became a local celebrity and every newscast or article mentioned she was only a substitute and would need a job next 75


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year when the permanent teacher returned. With her looks and resume, school systems would love to have a new hire with her visibility. I felt her slipping away. There was a possibility I could never see her again after school was out. I felt like the kid who had a crush on a girl and the last dance of the year was ending, and I wasn’t going to get a chance to ask her to dance. My student teaching assignment was ending soon and school would be out a couple of weeks after that. Then she’d be gone. Ships in the night. Then, if I tracked her down and found her I’d be a stalker, even by my definition. J. Giles had it right, love stinks.

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20 The days were brutal knowing she was only two hallways and one flight of stairs away. Valentine’s Day came and went. I draw well, so I drew her a Valentines card with a snow covered empty intersection and footprints leading away. I put it in her mailbox at lunch and hoped to hear something back by the end of the day. I stopped back in later to see if she had taken it from her box when a florist brought in a huge bouquet of roses to be delivered to Miss Spencer. The card was gone, I couldn’t retrieve it. There was another that I found she was taking tickets for a Friday night girls’ basketball game and I volunteered to work with her. I showed up showered, shaved, and smelling great only to find she had traded nights with Mr. Gregg, the shop teacher. He had been in that position so long he had trouble hearing. I spent the night shouting. It rained a lot that winter. Early spring was rainy as well. After school I passed time practicing guitar and actually working on lesson plans, which I have to admit, I enjoyed. I constantly replayed the time we spent together. Not just that weekend but also all the lunches, all the times sitting by her desk.

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21 The day was one of those spring days that made you want to just stand and breathe the new air. The sun was beginning to have some power behind it and I saw several students wearing shorts. Seniors were starting to look toward graduation, Juniors were looking toward being seniors, sophomores were looking at an endless summer and Freshmen were looking forward to not being freshman anymore. The two most powerful words in the English language, without a doubt, are ‘School’s Out.’ It’s much more than not having to go to class. It opens up a time of endless possibilities, a time where anything can and will happen. It’s where people grow up and memories are made. For anyone under eighteen it’s like winning the lottery. I was teaching a hundred percent of the time now which meant that Mr. Cooper, my supervising teacher disappeared around nine o’clock every morning. I had a late planning period so I popped into the office to get the day’s mail and messages. Messages nearly always meant bad news or extra work, so I was relieved when the only things there were junk mail. Two other teachers were there, Bruker and Charleton, and they stopped me to ask how things were going and if I had prospects for a job next school year. I think they actually were snooping to see why I hadn’t been hanging around Annie’s room like I had been. As I scooped the mail out of our box, I saw Mrs. Melrose, the secretary, was watching me. She looked over her glasses, which were attached to a chain around her neck. The mailboxes were across the room from the counter top, behind which she lorded over the business of the school. She wiggled her index finger to motion me over. 78


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I gave her my glamour smile and walked over. She stood and joined me at the counter. She dropped a clipboard on the counter. It landed with a smack. “Mr. Finn I have just noticed that you have not signed up for the End of School Talent Show.” I looked down and saw the sign-up sheet with names and talents. “I assumed that this was for the students,” I said. “Look at the sheet Mr. Finn,” she said and tapped the eraser end of a pencil at a group of teacher names. There were several teacher names. Some had talents and some had duties they had volunteered to do for the show. “I don’t know Miss Melrose, I’m not really…” She cut me off. “I’m trying to help you out here Mr. Finn,” she said a little irritated. Flipping the pencil around, she circled line sixteen on the sheet. It read: Miss Spencer-group dance. At that moment I loved Miss Melrose almost as much as Annie. “I can’t dance. Well, I can dance, but not in a group, on a stage.” “This is a group of female teachers, I’m afraid you’d stick out like a sore thumb.” “Any suggestions?” “Mr. Finn I’ve heard you are extremely intelligent, but at this moment you are not showing me much.” She tapped the pencil on the counter. I stood there blankly. “What is it that you can do Mr. Finn? Can you juggle? Sing? Somersault across the stage?” “I play guitar,” I said. “Why didn’t you say so Mr. Finn? Congratulations. You are the opening act, playing the National Anthem.” She erased someone’s name off of line one. Okay, I thought. I have a few weeks to practice. Maybe I get to play for her after all. Worst case, I get to watch her dance. “I suggest you play impressively Mr. Finn. Slash-like.” “You listen to Slash?” I asked. 79


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“Not often, but I do listen to the students and many are very impressed by Mr. Slash.” “All right I’m in. Thank you,” I said. I had already started putting the song together in my head as I started to leave, then something hit me. I turned back to Miss Melrose. “Why?” I asked. “Why what?” “Why are you helping me out?” “I only see glimpses of people here Mr. Finn. I’ve learned to glean what I can in a very short period of time. People talk as though I’m not here. Miss Spencer has not been herself since you two perused that student’s file. You definitely have not been the same. You do not talk, you do not go to her room.” “You’ve gleaned all that, have you? “And I have cameras.” “And secretaries know everything,” I added. “You two fit together, at least you did. I don’t like to see that go to waste.” “Well,” I said awkwardly, aware now that at least one person knew our secret. “Thank you.” I was nearly in the hallway when I heard Miss Melrose call my name. I stuck my head back in the door. “Mr. Finn.” “Yes,” I said. “Don’t screw this up.”

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22 Word got around the school that I was playing guitar at the talent show. Overnight I became a minor-league rock star. There were guys in nearly all of my classes, all schools have them, who were the classic outcasts. They tried to not fit in, tried to be a little scary, a little provocative. I love them. Most are really good kids. They are the ones that are the most interesting during class discussions. If you treat them right they’ll be as loyal as a mother tiger. The guys started bringing in their guitars for me to look at. Some of which I’d tune, sometimes I would show them fingering techniques, sometimes they would show me. These were the people who had multiple detentions for tardiness and now they were showing up early for school. Guys started showing up I didn’t even have for class. This was during the times I was supposed to be instructing. I eventually had to put a sign outside my door. STOP BOTHERING MY CLASS- IF YOUR’RE INTERESTED IN GUITAR, COME BY AFTER SCHOOL! By Thursday of that week I had ten guitarists and one drummer in my room. The drummer came because one of his buddies had a guitar. He brought some sticks and tapped out rhythms on desks. Two of the players were girls. One looked like a rocker chick, her name was Candy but she called herself Candyland. Candyland had dyed her hair gray. She drew ponies on her forearms and had multiple piercing.

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The other looked like she should be president of the Science Club. Her name was Su, and boy could she play. She was oriental and wore a pink tee shirt that said, “Yay!” We played for each other and it became clear, by what we played, who our favorite guitarist was. Candyland was a wannabe Joe Perry, Daniel was a wannabe Clapton. I, of course, a wannabe Jimmy Page. This was all without any amplification. I could imagine what we would sound like with all the effects. This was really going well. Five o’clock came and went and no one was leaving. It became evident they weren’t going to leave unless I threw them out so I redirected. “What if you could play together for the talent show, would you do it?” For the first time the room was silent. “Sign-ups are already closed,” someone said. Somebody else said, “My amp is crappy. It wouldn’t sound right.” There were moans and murmurs of dissent from most of the others also. “What’s wrong with you guys? You’re too good not to play in front of people.” I said. “Maybe not those people,” said a long haired kid named Dean. “What do you mean?” I said. “You know who is going to be there?” Dean asked. “Parents. Math drones. Cheerleaders. Not the kind of people who want to hear us. “I know a cheerleader and she’s pretty cool,” Candyland said. “I’ll play,” said Su. “Nope,” said a skinny kid named Bone who weighed marginally more than his guitar. “We ain’t got a bass.” “Don’t really need a bass if we get the right song,” someone said from the back. “I’ll play,” said Su.

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“No man, those other kids don’t rock,” said a kid who had a tee shirt that read, I’m lookin’ for love. “Make them rock, that’s your job as a musician,” I said. “I’M PLAYING,” screamed Su. The room fell silent and everyone looked at her. “Damn,” said Bone after a while. “Okay then,” I said. “Let me see if I can get you on the billet. I’ll let you know tomorrow after school.”

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23 I was at Miss Melrose’s desk first thing Friday morning. She smiled a knowing smile as she again erased a name from the sign sheet. “And what would this guitar club of yours be called, Mr. Finn?” “Don’t know, we really didn’t get so far as to choose a name. How about something simple like, The Melted Flesh?” “I believe that is a little on the disturbing side, Mr. Finn,” she said. “Okay, how about the Disturbing Players?” “How about just The Players? Nice, simple we won’t have any phone calls from the Methodists.” “Fine with me. I guess you’ll have to get it approved by the administration?” “You still really don’t understand my position do you Mr. Finn? Your group is approved. In fact I am moving you to the final act so you can close the show.” “Thanks, Miss Melrose, the kids will really appreciate this. This might be the best thing to happen to them in High School.” She waved me off, at least I thought she had. I started to leave and she cleared her throat. It dawned on me there was going to be a tit for tat. Because of your acceptance into the talent show, you might be able to do something for me.” “Sure, anything for you Miss Melrose,” I said. “We are going to announce today that there will be a dance held in the gym after the talent show. We need chaperons badly, Mr. Finn.” 84


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This had been a set up from the start, and I had fallen for it hook, line and sinker. I had to smile. She kept a straight face but there was a tiny crinkle at the edge of her eye. She was very good at her job “I’ll be there,” I said. “You do enjoy your job, don’t you Miss Melrose?” “It’s the little things, Mr. Finn, that keep me going.” *** Word got around quickly that we were in. The kids kept showing up at my door during class and I kept throwing them out. They were so excited they were bouncing, even the ones that tried to act nonchalant about everything. The day dragged on. The kids I threw out kept coming back with questions. What were we going to play, where would we stand on the stage, how were we going to mix the sound without a soundboard? Good questions to which I had no answers. I told them to pass the word that we would be meeting on the stage instead of my room. The texts started flying. I had not given up hope on Annie. I had been devising a plan ever since Miss Melrose had put us in the show together. It wasn’t a great plan, but I still had some time to work on it and maybe I could melt her heart with my guitar. I flipped off the lights in my room and started toward the auditorium. I noticed a dripping sound behind me. It was the sound a leaky shower head makes in an empty locker room. I turned and saw her. It was Annie. Blood was running down the sleeve of her linen dress and dripping on the tile floor. The dress was torn from the neck down the side exposing her shoulder and half of her bra. Her chest was splattered red, which ran in rivulets through the cleft made by her breasts. She was expressionless, but her eyes were open and looking at me. The blood was soaking into the linen and weighing it down so that the bloody side started to hang.

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Then, she was gone. I was alone in the hallway. I could hear the clock in my room ticking away. I walked quickly to the stairway at the end of the hall, my footsteps sounding like firecrackers. I took one look back before I took the three steps to the exit. Nothing. We were there until nine o’clock. Most weren’t crazy about the name but at least it wasn’t lame. Bone gave it a five. The group was pretty cohesive. They discussed but didn’t argue. They problem solved in a way that would never show on a test. I stayed in the wings and watched, only contributing when asked. I was happy when they chose “Whole Lotta Love” as the song to play between solos. We would play the riff four times and then a player would step forward and play what they wanted for about thirty seconds, then they would step back and we would play the riff again. They chose the order in which we would play and decided that I would go last. I refused. “Listen guys, this is your gig. I’d be happy to stand in back and just help on the riff.” “You’d actually be doing us a favor,” said Su. She was wearing a yellow sundress. Candyland had given her a fake nose ring. “Everyone is going to remember you because you’re a teacher. They are going to be expecting something big from you. It kind of takes the pressure off of us.” Everyone echoed their agreement. The drummer wasn’t there. He had a part time job at a bowling alley but texted that he could be there anytime on Saturday with his kit. “What time tomorrow?” I asked. “I have a cooking lesson with my mom at eight,” Su said. “Cooking lesson with your Mom? Who are you?” Candyland said. “My dad used to cook Meth.” Daniel said. “Noon. Everybody okay with that?” I asked. “And don’t worry about the equipment. I’ll take care of it.”

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“What you gonna break into CB Music House?” Bone asked. “I got it. You guys practice “Whole Lotta Love” and whatever you are going to play. See you tomorrow.” As everyone was packing up Su and Candyland came over looking sheepish. “So, Mr. Finn, where did the name actually come from?” Candyland said. “Miss Melrose chose the name Players because we’re all guitar players.” I said. “We were kinda wondering because, uh…” Su picked up where Candy stumbled. “We heard that Miss Spencer thinks you’re a player.” They stood there grinning. “Where did that come from?” I asked. “Don’t redirect, Mr. Finn” Candyland said. A couple of the guys stopped what they were doing to listen. Apparently this was a little more wide spread than I had imagined. “How can I put this?” I said. “Maybe she doesn’t think I’m as much of a player as I hoped she would.” They stood in silence for a moment, then Su put her hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry Mr. Finn. Sometimes it takes a while for people to figure out what they really want.” They finished collecting their things and left. Wow! I walked out of the music store about nine thousand dollars poorer, but felt a million dollars richer. I knew the manager, Gallagher, who was a pretty good player himself, and told him what we were doing. He hooked us up with everything we needed and agreed to deliver it all by noon. Feeding the addiction of these young guitar players was just sound business for him. Money talks in the music biz. I used my key fob to get into the school, the fob I would be returning to Miss Melrose in only a few days. My guitar was in my room, so I stealthily moved through the halls, not wanting to conger up any bloody hallucinations. The day was bright and the sun shown in diagonal shafts through the industrial windows. No visions moving through the school on a day like this 87


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I propped open the double doors in the auditorium that led to the parking lot and waited for the band and the music store van. The drummer arrived first in a van painted primer black with red wheels, the perks of a bowling alley job. I carried in the drums and the cymbals while he assembled the whole kit. It seemed like a lot of equipment but then I remembered the kids had decided that he got a solo also. The players started trucking in early. Everyone was there when the van with the new equipment pulled in. I’m not sure what they expected when I said I’d take care of it, probably an old beat up amp and a sound board that could only handle a couple of guitars at a time. When they saw the brand new stuff they were grinning and fist bumping. The crew set up and explained everything to the kids. Like I said before, most of these guys were underachievers at school but were anything but dumb. They only did well in the things they cared about, and they cared about this. Before long we could hear the hum of the amps. I plugged in and ripped the opening cords of “Whole Lotta Love”. It sounded great, raw and lethal. I always imagine a shark swimming at me during that song, the fin showing, the tail moving back and forth. One by one the others joined in and the drummer found the rhythm. I actually felt like I was standing in front of a wall of sound. We went on and on. No one wanted to stop. The crew was tapping and head bobbing. The band members were nodding and smiling to each other. I hated to stop it but we had other things to practice. I turned to them and yelled, “LAST TIME.” There was that moment of silence when the last notes reverberated off the walls, then clapping and cheers by the band and the crew. “Not bad, not bad at all,” Gallagher yelled over the cheers. “Finn, you mind if I put a little sign up on the speaker here?” He had a sign advertising the music shop. I kind of figured he came for a reason beyond just a delivery. Smart guy. 88


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The kids unplugged and huddled together, excitedly praising each other. I stepped over to the music guys to thank them again and tell them how happy I was with the sound. We shook hands, they started to leave, and then Gallagher spun around and yelled, “You sound great, you’re gonna rock them. Make Finn proud, he dropped a boatload of cash on you guys. Finn, I know you still got that F hole, if you ever want to sell it….” When they left the kids surrounded me. “You paid for this stuff?” Bone said. “You rich?” Daniel said. “Don’t worry about it.” I said and moved away from them. “What do you mean don’t worry about it?” Candyland said. “That’s real money. Don’t worry about it?” “He’s a do-gooder,” said a kid named Mark who didn’t hardly say anything. “He’s helping out all us poor little delinquents. Helps him feel better about himself.” Candyland turned to him and said, “Bite me Mark!” “Yeah, bite me too!” said Su, then she looked down. “Calm down everybody. I said don’t worry because you shouldn’t worry. You’re kids, you should be having fun, chasing the opposite sex, finding yourself.” “Thank you, Dr. Phil,” said Bone, but smiling. “I get the idea most of you never got much of a chance to have a worry-free childhood. So be happy when you can. And besides, it’s my money. I earned it. I can spend it anyway I want. What else am I going to spend it on? Gold chains?” “That’s kind of how I see you Mr. Finn. You know, velvet robe, ascot, gold chains and a pipe,” Candyland said. “Yeah, one of those kind that curve down then back up again, like a horn,” someone else said. The stage was configured in a way that allowed us to hide our equipment behind the curtains at the back. Even our two big amps, which rolled on casters, were invisible. At least we hoped. The situation somewhat diffused, I sent them home to practice. “Work on the Zeppelin and your solos. We have two

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weeks, I’ll see when we can get the auditorium again to practice and let you know Monday.” They got their things but acted like they really didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to leave either. Weekends were brutal. I have no idea what I did in my spare time before Annie, but since then I have wandered around aimlessly, bored with everything, just waiting for a chance. I wasn’t lonely before I met her. I don’t think I even understood the concept. But now I do, I know how gut wrenching it is. I practiced what I would say if I would bump into her somewhere. The only thing that has kept me going is the fact that I don’t think she is happy with Frank. If I thought she was, I’d try to wipe her from my memory, not that I could but I would try and face the barren wasteland of my life. Love makes you melodramatic.

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24 My last week of student teaching. At first I didn’t think I’d make it through the year, then I couldn’t wait for it to be over, and now it has gone by too quickly. Teachers from all over the school stopped in from time to time to congratulate me and wish me well. Everyone but Annie. On Monday Miss Melrose informed me the auditorium was booked solid for the next two weeks. She showed me a clipboard with the names of the acts and their allocated times. “But, Miss Melrose, we really need some time on the stage to work things out,” I said. She chuckled, “Surely you realize you signed up late, Mr. Finn. There’s not much I can do. All the time slots are taken.” She gestured toward the clipboard then glanced back to me. It was my turn. “Miss Melrose, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I just purchased some equipment for the band and I’m thinking about donating it to the school if you can find a sponsor for a guitar club.” “Just how much equipment are we speaking of, Mr. Finn.” “Just a little south of ten thousand,” I said. She smiled and slid the clipboard across the counter. “Pick your slots, Mr. Finn.” *** On Friday, my last day, each class I had, threw a little party for me. It was very informal and illegal per county policy, but that made it more authentic. I received several cards, some 91


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bought, but most were handmade, many depicting scenes of the topics we had discussed. One had me photo shopped on top of the Berlin Wall as it was coming down. Another had Hitler making a speech with me behind him giving him bunny ears. A couple of the unsigned ones were R rated and a couple just said, ‘You’re hot.’ They talked about what they thought was the most interesting things we had studied. There were doughnuts and cookies. One student brought in a sleeve of cups and said, “Water fountain’s in the hall.” It was fun and I was touched. Mr. Cooper even hung around all day. I’m not sure if it was because of me or because of the doughnuts. I stopped in the office and checked the mail for the last time. I reached in and grabbed something when the Principal called to me from his office. He told me I had done a fine job and although he was sorry he wouldn’t have any positions for me next year, he would be happy to give me a recommendation. I thanked him for the opportunity and went to look for Miss Melrose, who wasn’t at her desk. I didn’t look at the piece of mail until I was walking down the hall. It was a card addressed to no one. It had to be from her. I could feel her through my fingertip. Her essence, her smile, her touch, radiated from the envelope. I tried to open it without tearing it, but my dexterity had left me. I didn’t read the card front and I skipped to the printed prose on the inside, I made straight for the handwritten part. It said, Thanks for respecting my wishes, it’s been very hard for me too. Congratulations, you are going to be a great teacher. Love, Annie “That’s it?” I said aloud to the empty hall way. I wasn’t mad. Hurt? Yes. Dumbfounded, maybe. I read it again and this time I noticed that she had underlined ‘very’ three times. It’s amazing how three little lines can give you hope. And she did sign it, Love Annie. She could have just written Annie. Had she purposely given me hope or was I looking for any kind of lifeline? 92


I heard the rapid tapping of heeled footsteps coming down the hall. It was Miss Melrose walking briskly toward me with something in her hand. “Hey, I was just looking for you, I wanted to tell you goodbye,” I said. “This isn’t goodbye, Mr. Finn. I expect a rousing version of the Star-Spangled Banner.” She didn’t stop, she didn’t even slow as she handed me the envelope she had been carrying. “Do take it back to your classroom to open it Mr. Finn. You’ll never get a teaching job talking to yourself in an empty hallway.” I felt the same essence on the envelope as I had on the card. This one felt more emotional, more urgent. I didn’t wait until I was back in my room. Dear Finn, I felt badly after I put the card in your box. It was cold and formal, not the way I want you to think of me. I’m sorry things have worked out the way they have. You are definitely not what I thought was my type. You’re the odd puzzle piece that doesn’t fit. That’s why I rejected the notion at first, but the better I got to know you, I realized you were the right piece, I just needed a new puzzle. You are the proverbial butterfly in the Chaos Theory. In a way, I hope you have been unhappy in my absence, because I’ve been miserable. It will have solidified that notion that we truly did have something, at least in your mind too. I would have tried, I honestly would have, if only you would have been honest with me. That hurts. I can’t forget how I felt shut out after being so close to you. It’s scary how close I felt after knowing you so briefly and how distant Frank felt after seeing him for years. I probably shouldn’t say that but it’s true. You’re like a red cashmere sweater you see in the store window. It’s too expensive, not practical, and too extravagant. But, you still want it and will never forget it. It will be a lifelong regret. I’ll watch you at the talent show. I understand you are performing twice. There is no small amount of interest in the 93


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guitar group you have put together. The talk in the lounge is that they are some of the most disinterested students in the school and you’ve turned them into a cohesive unit. I can’t wait to see it. I’m not sure of my plans after next week. I guess that partly depends on Frank. He’s been hinting around, but I’m not sure I’m ready. It would be nice to have some stability in my future. With love and regret. Annie If love gives sight to the blind, then this gave hope to the hopeless. I bounced into my room clenching the letter and reread it again and again. I felt better than I had in months. Not as good as the kiss in the snowstorm, I’ll never feel like that again. But I could hear the Rocky music playing. I had been knocked down but not out. A drop of blood hit my forearm and I watched it roll around my arm and hit the floor. Then things got fuzzy.

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25 The next thing I knew I was on the floor in the furnace room. The pain had been intense, so bad in fact that my brain pulled a lever that opened a trap door that mercifully dropped me out of conciseness until the storm had passed. I felt the pain draining away like bath water down a drain. The blood was from a nosebleed, a pretty decent one from the looks of things. This wasn’t my first rodeo with black outs and nosebleeds, but it was the first time in a good while and the first time they happened concurrently. As a kid, with a ‘talent’, my nose bleed when I pushed into people too hard. Like trying to bench press too much, it was an unhealthy strain, not on my body but my mind. Once I learned control, the bleeds went away. The blackouts came later and were not caused by anything physical going on in my brain, at least according to the doctors, but something emotional affecting me. The first time it started was in the seventh grade. Admittedly I spent a lot of time looking into girl’s minds, again not right, but it’s not unusual to be curious. And again, I only got flashes. I didn’t understand girls at all then, not that I’m an expert now, but back then they were like aliens. I sat behind Darlene in Social Studies. Looked at the back of her head ninety percent of the time but she was the only girl seated around me. Her hair was long and brown and sometimes tangled. She came and left class quietly. The images I got were sadness. Not loneliness, abuse, or anger, just sadness like a cartoon rain cloud. We went through 95


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the whole year like that. I reached in occasionally and she hid from the world. It never occurred to me to try to befriend her. That just wasn’t like me. I would have been more comfortable yelling at her and telling her to get with it and quit moping around. As a sophomore, she killed herself. That night I had my first blackout. I didn’t realize how much I was affected by my uncaring. I hadn’t killed her but I let her die. My blackout was my unconscious censoring my emotions. If I got too depressed it shut me down. And my ability to reach in elevated my emotions. My blackouts over the years happened when I saw more than I could bear. But they were always after the fact. This one seemed to forecasting something, something that I really didn’t want to deal with. In my teens, my ability to control this talent had growth spikes then plateaus. I have leveled off since then, but with the visions of the bloody Annie’s, I wonder if I’m reaching something else. Like I’m seeing something that is going to happen, but my brain won’t allow me to remember it, so it shuts down. I found a janitor’s cart, which contained rags and disinfectant, then cleaned up my mess. My collar was a little bloody but there wasn’t much I could do about that. I didn’t need to sneak back to my room, I was sure the school cameras had caught everything I had done during the blackout. The tapes would never be viewed unless there was a reason, like a break in or a fight. The sky had darkened and it was dusk by the time I made it back to my room. I had been out nearly five hours. Annie’s letter was lying on my desk and I felt a surge of joy again. I got to my car and drove home without incident. Then I chucked my bloody clothes, got in the shower and stood there until the hot water ran out. The talent show was a week away. It was time to get busy. I was going to have to woo her with my guitar.

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26 The next week passed slowly. For the first time in several years I had nothing to do. The graduation was Saturday, the Talent Show was Friday, and this was the last week seniors had classes. Annie and the rest of the school had this coming week and the next before summer break. Things were winding down for everyone except me. For me things were winding tighter. I practiced on all the guitars and decided on the Les Paul for both songs. It gave me the sound I wanted and maybe a little more range of effects. I bought a new Cry Baby to add the emotion I wanted. I wasn’t quite used to the foot pedal. Takes a little away from the performance if you trip and wipe out the first row. The practices we had that week were nearly perfect. “Whole Lotta Love” sounded tight and powerful and each of the solos were skillfully personalized. I decided to make a surprise of my part so I didn’t practice it with the whole band. I caught some good-natured flak from the kids calling me a prima donna, but I think they kind of liked the idea of a surprise. I had no blackouts, nosebleeds, or hallucinations during the week, but that was a growing concern for the performance. I didn’t want to go zombie in front of Annie. I couldn’t help feeling something was brewing with me. There were also no Annie sightings. I came early for our two practices and stayed after as long as I could, but to no avail. I’m sure that was planned. I’m sure we would have run into each other sometime by accident if she hadn’t taken steps to 97


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prevent it. My ego told me she was protecting herself against my radiant personality knowing if she saw me or spoke to me, she would be defenseless. Or maybe she was over me. There was always that, too.

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27 I arrived two hours before anyone else on the night of the performance. The night custodian let me in with a little hesitation. He had seen me before but I didn’t look quite the same in my band uniform (black tee shirt, faded jeans) and guitar case. I wanted to hook up the Cry Baby with the new system and do a little sound check before anyone else got there. It had worked well at home but the acoustics were different here and the volume levels had to be adjusted. The stage curtains were constructed to allow sound through, so for the National Anthem the speakers would remain behind the back curtain. Since we were the last act we could wait and roll them out right before the group went on. Sound-wise there wasn’t any difference, but it looked very cool for the group to be standing in front of the two big amps. The drum kit was on a rolling platform so it would be pulled out and placed between the speakers. I plugged in, hit a few notes, and made the adjustment. Funny, I really hadn’t played in front of anybody before but I wasn’t nervous. In comparison with the upcoming events of the evening, for which I didn’t have a real plan, my playing meant nothing. I did feel good though, on stage with my guitar, and all that power behind me. I would have to control myself and not allow myself any over the top rock star stances or windmills. Mrs. Reynolds, the teacher in charge, arrived and manned the ticket booth. She was obviously, like me, a victim of a Miss Melrose deal. 99


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I managed to slide to the back and grab a program. Annie’s dance was called, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, and was fourth in the lineup. I started thinking about ways to innocently bump into her back stage. An hour later the auditorium doors banged open and the performers burst in, jabbering and nervously laughing. I couldn’t help smiling at the thought of Bugs Bunny singing, “On With the Show This Is It!” like the Saturday cartoon show. The evening had that kind of feel; excited tension. Mrs. Reynolds had her work cut out for her. She had a progression of acts starting, with me waiting in the wings. The next act would be waiting in the hallway adjacent to the wings, the next in the first classroom in that hallway and so on. There were now ten acts so with about fifteen minutes before show time she lined up the first five. There would be a short Intermission then the remaining five would line up. It was a well thought out set up but it meant there would no chance to see Annie any place except on stage. There ended up being only two teacher acts, not counting me. Annie’s dance and the football coach’s song. That left eight acts to fill about two hundred seats. With about thirty minutes until curtain there were fifty people scattered around the auditorium. I was horrified. This would kill my guys, especially if parents left after their kid’s performance. But, there wasn’t anything I could do about it now. All my hype to play for an empty hall? Any self-worth I had built would be crushed. Most of The Players came in together, sitting together in the front to watch me. The acts were supposed to sit in the back rows or stand in the area behind the seating, but these guys weren’t used to doing what they were supposed to do. No one was going to tell them to move. Nobody much was sitting around them either. Su came in last with her parents, both of whom were dressed in business attire and looked bewildered when she left them to sit with her band. Through the open doors at the other end of the hall I could see a line start to form at the ticket table. Annie was in the line. She had a sparkly orange dress folded over one arm and 100


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held a pair of silver pumps in the other hand. I was thirty yards away and I could feel her power. She was glancing around but trying to look like she wasn’t. She wore an emerald sleeveless shirt and white shorts that were the perfect length for her long legs. She was tanned, hopefully not from days at the country club pool with Frankieboy. She spoke to someone who was out of my view, then disappeared down the hallway. At this point I had the horrible revelation that Annie may not see me play the National Anthem if she was getting dressed. I’m not sure how long I contemplated this but at some point I heard my name and felt something on my shoulder. I jumped so badly that the person tapping me jumped also. Mrs. Melrose looked at me suspiciously. “Time to take your place, Mr. Finn.” “Oh, Mrs. Melrose, I didn’t know you were here. Have you been here long?” “Long enough, Mr. Finn. Long enough to see that you have been bitten by that monster of love again.” She looked at me blankly and when she decided I wasn’t going to say anything she said, “Take your place stage right. Fifteen minutes till curtain.” She was dressed in her normal school clothes, a sweater, and black slacks. I could not picture her in anything else. I was only about ten steps from where I was supposed to be, but I did still have to check the power on the amps and make sure everything was ready. Also, I needed to place the Crybaby near the center of the stage and ready it. I peeked out through the slit in the curtain and saw the room was nearly full. People were even sitting near my band. I plugged my guitar in, no wireless packs for me, and played it again for the thousandth time. Without the amps, it sounded thin and weak but I knew at least I was hitting the right notes. I did it a couple more times with my eyes closed and pictured Annie watching me. The act behind me in the hall was a sophomore dance team of three uneasy looking girls. They were putting on brave faces, no doubt years of lessons and recitals leading up to a performance 101


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in front of their peers. You can’t pile on the pressure more than that. The next two acts were in classrooms and out of my sight, Annie, I thought was in the second. I hoped, at least, she could hear me from back there. I felt a trickle of sweat run from my armpit down my side and end up in the waistband of my jeans. I didn’t realize I was nervous, but once I felt that I could feel my heart vibrating in my chest. My hands suddenly felt like stone. The lights in the auditorium went out and the audience roared. The stage lights were still on. Miss Melrose walked past me and stopped at center stage. She had a microphone in one hand and index cards in the hand she was holding primly behind her back. She stood straight and resolute and waited for the curtains to open. Someone somewhere was playing that “Journey” song from Glee through the auditorium speakers. It wasn’t loud but it did seem to be pumping up the crowd. It abruptly broke off and the curtains began to part leaving Miss Melrose to be bathed in two spotlights from the balcony. She held a hand up to slow the applause. She thanked everyone for their time and said all the things that are usually said by the emcee at this kind of show. My heart was in my throat by now and I was wondering how I had gotten myself into this when I heard her say, “And now would you please rise for the playing of our National Anthem by a student teacher who will be graduating…” “PSSST Finn!” I turned away from Miss Melrose and looked behind me in the hall. It was Annie. She had her hair poofy style and was wearing a sparkly mini dress. She was beautiful. Our eyes met and she smiled. The three girls on the dance team looked at me then back at her. She gave me thumbs up. I stared at her. “…..MR. FINN……” Miss Melrose announced. I looked away from Annie to Miss Melrose. Miss Melrose gave me a look as if to say, “It’s your turn, get out here!” 102


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She walked off the other side of the stage as I walked on. The crowd cheered as I walked on. Everyone was standing and clapping and my band in the front row were slapping hands. The front row was about all I could see then because the light receded from the stage although I thought I caught sight of something orange and sparkly near the wall on the right. I didn’t want to look just in case it wasn’t her. When I was nearing my spot, I heard Bone yell, “SHRED IT, MR. FINN!” That brought more cheers from the crowd. More importantly I heard Candyland call to me in a quieter voice, “Turn on your guitar Mr. Finn.” I was so flushed seeing Annie and nervous that I had forgot. Candyland was the only person who was listening for the powerful hum of the amps. I flipped the switch and gave her a thumb up thank you. She winked at me. I stepped on the Crybaby and slowly hit the first three notes. It sounded sublime. I picked up the speed on the next three and let the Crybaby hang on to the sixth. After that it was just muscle memory. I just pictured Annie and funneled my emotions through the guitar. Sometimes when I get excited I play too fast, but not tonight. The notes blended where they were supposed to and screamed and soared at the right times. It was one of those times where I couldn’t have messed up if I had tried. For the last couple of bars, I fanned the strings giving it a buzzing sound and then at “land of the free” I let the feedback wash over, which left a barely controlled screech. At the “Land of the Brave” part I went as heavy as I could. The last notes reverberated around the auditorium and the crowd erupted. At that point I didn’t know what to do. I hadn’t planned for an exit. I gave a glance at my band. They were coming unglued. They were all standing along with the rest of the audience, then I realized I wasn’t getting a standing ovation, it was the National Anthem. So I threw up my hand in thanks and walked off. I couldn’t see Annie anywhere. The dance team was waiting in the wings. “Thanks, Mr. Finn,” one said as I passed.

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“Yeah, thanks a lot,” another said. “How are we going to follow that?” I skipped down the stairs, not really caring if they could follow or not, and looked up and down the hall. Annie was nowhere to be found.

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28 I tried to sit and watch the next act from an open seat in the back but the adrenaline was still pumping. My foot tapped and I squirmed in my seat so I walked to the front and leaned against the wall. Teachers can do whatever they want. Nobody noticed me there anyway, all eyes were on the struggling dancers on stage. Two of them were pretty good but the third had a bad case of stage fright and was watching the other two and trying to keep up instead of dancing with the music. Their costumes looked good though. They finished with a polite round of applause. The next act was a folksinger girl dressed like a hippie, or what she thought a hippie would dress like. She was good, played the acoustic guitar well, and the audience responded. “Blowin’ in the Wind” used to be a standard, but I’m not sure any of these guys had heard it before. The next guy told jokes and was funny, but was a freshman. Freshmen don’t get enough respect to be funny to the upperclassman. Had to give him credit for having the guts to get up there. Once he was off the curtains closed for Annie’s group. I could hear them get into position and see her silver heels under the gap between the curtains and the floor. The curtains parted at the same time “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” blared from the auditorium speakers. And there she was. Her dress sparkled, but not as much as her eyes. She danced and smiled and had fun. She looked great in the dress as opposed to the others that looked sad in the 80’s attire. There is a way 105


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to look retro and still look good. Annie knew how, the others couldn’t pull off the headbands and leg warmers. After the first few notes the rest of the teachers began watching her and trying to follow. Mrs. Chompers got dangerously close to the edge of the stage at one point and Mrs. Tony was so lost that Annie had to drag her into the correct spot. All in all the routine would have been a little goofy and maybe laughable if Annie wasn’t in it. The song ended about half way through and rightfully so. Someone slowly turned down the volume and the group joined hands and bowed as the curtains closed. Old Miss Swisher, who was not where she was supposed to be, was clubbed in the head by the closing curtains. I saw my chance and rushed to the door that led to the hallway. They were just coming down the stairs, Ms. Kuntz and Wilson desperately clinging to the handrails, with Annie between them. They rounded the turn and started down the hallway without seeing me. I watched her walk away in the heels. I liked watching her walk away in heels. My mouth went dry. Mr. Cool. “Nith thob!” I said too loudly. Everyone turned. “Nice job,” I said again with a bit more spit in my mouth. Annie said something to the two ladies she was helping, then let go of them. They clutched each other and wobbled back toward the classroom, retired from show biz. Annie turned and walked back toward me. I decided that if I liked watching her walk away in heels, watching her walk toward me in heels was a real close second. “Nice job,” I said for the third time. She was nearly as tall as I was in the heels. “Are you making fun?” “No, you looked really good. You have, um, dancer’s legs.” “Well, thank you,” she looked around conspiratorially. “They are great teachers and really nice people but…” “Not meant for the stage?” I said. She giggled. 106


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“So, you’re talking to me now?” It slipped out, don’t know why, don’t know what I was thinking. “Maybe. Maybe just a little. Maybe it’s time to clear the air.” “Okay, where can we go? “Not now,” she said. “You’ve still got another performance.” “Damn, I forgot.” That slipped out also. “Are you swearing again?” “No, I’m not. I’m not doing that or smoking foul cigars or being mean to cats or anything else you would not like.” I crossed my heart. She smiled. Her mouth also ranked high on my favorite things in the world list. Then she looked at me deeply, like someone who’s found a memory in an old picture. Reaching up she traced my jaw line with a fingertip. “Miss Spencer, We’re at school,” “I only work here for another week,” she said. That moment was a snapshot in time, she was all I’d ever dreamed of. “Gotta go,” she said and broke the moment. “When are we going to talk?” “Maybe this weekend.” “Not tonight?” “We are both chaperons we have jobs to full fill.” I had forgotten about the dance. Thank you, Miss Melrose! “Can’t we talk at the dance?” I asked. “No. I think there has been some talk about us anyhow. I don’t want to leave in a week and have people think we have been carrying on this whole time.” “Carrying on?” I said. “You know what I mean. Now, go back to your group. I have to go back to mine and make sure no one is having a heart attack.” The rest of the show was probably good, I don’t know because I couldn’t concentrate. I replayed everything back in my mind. The letter I received on my last day, the thumbs up 107


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tonight, and the touch of my jaw. I could still feel her fingers on my face. I was sitting in the last seat in the row, one where I could slump down and allow my feet to stick out into the aisle. Every so often someone would walk up or down the aisle. There were also some people leaning against the wall in that aisle so they could take pictures without obstructing anyone’s view. I didn’t even look up when someone stopped and leaned against the wall directly across the aisle from me. I didn’t see her walk up or down the aisle she was just there, when I noticed her there, with my peripheral vision. It was Su. “Mr. Finn, are you okay? It’s time to go.” “Yeah,” I said, “Let’s go.”

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29 It wasn’t really time yet but they were so pumped they had to get out of the auditorium and be someplace they could move around and talk as loud as they wanted. We moved clear to the end of the hall near the cafeteria. As the acts took their turns my guys got more and more nervous. By the time we had moved to the classroom they each were picking at each other and arguing over silly stuff. This was starting to go downhill fast. “Listen up.” I waited until everyone was quiet. “You all are too tight. When we get into the next classroom I want to do a relaxation exercise with you. So, for now just chill.” Eve giggled, “Oh, Mr. Finn, you are too old to tell us to CHILL.” A few of them laughed at that. Minutes later we moved to the next room. “Pretend you just messed up really badly.” They closed their eyes. “The reality is that we really never appreciate a thing until it’s gone. I asked you not to destroy this whole night, which you were going to do because of nerves. Now you have a second chance.” They were thinking this over. “When we go into the hall I want you to visualize what is going to happen on stage. This is redemption, your second chance.” Su said, “Maybe that’s what we should have called ourselves, SECOND CHANCE.” The last act ended. We were on deck. 109


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Miss Melrose pushed past me and said, “We need a couple of minutes to set the stage and I will have to thank everyone, so you have a couple of extra minutes. “Wait a minute,” I said before she could get away. “I want to make a little change.” I told her and she shrugged. “Alright” she said. She walked onto the stage and began thanking people. The outer curtains began to close behind her so the audience couldn’t see our amps and drum kit being placed. We walked on behind the curtain, took our places, and plugged in. I checked our soundboard for the last time. I pushed the power button. I looked down the row of players. They made me smile, I was proud of them. Of course, I couldn’t tell them, or it would break the bond we had. But they knew. All of us wore black tee shirts of various levels of fade and jeans that ranged from badly torn to new. One kid, I still wasn’t sure of his name, had a shirt that simply said, Bite Me. We were a rock and roll band, Bite Me was completely acceptable. “…….and we would especially like to thank Mr. Finn who not only sponsored the group you are about to hear, but is donating all the musical equipment you will see tonight back to the school in an effort to start a guitar club!” The audience applauded loudly and each band member looked at me in disbelief. “Man, I thought you were renting it,” Bone said. “You did this for us?” Su said. “Don’t worry Mr. Finn,” Candyland said. “Su and I are gonna pay you back.” Then she winked. Su smiled. The slit in the curtain opened and Miss Melrose stuck her head in. “Ready?” she asked. I gave her a thumb up. “Without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen, The SECOND CHANCE!” The curtains began to part.

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I was on the far right. I took a step forward and turned toward my guys and started “Whole Lotta Love.” I played the riff once then the drummer joined in. After the third time, everyone started playing. When I turned back to the audience about half were standing and dancing. Jimmy Page would have been proud. Bone had the first solo. That was by design because he was the toughest kid in the group, he was the one to break the ice. And he shattered it. “Whole Lotta Love” stopped and he launched into “Sweet Child’O Mine.” He wrestled the notes out of his guitar like he was playing a rattlesnake. After thirty seconds, we went back into “Whole Lotta Love” again. Each of the solos were perfectly timed and executed. Candyland did “Layla” and Su did “Jumpin Jack Flash.” The drummer had the hardest job, he had to know how to play everyone’s song and when to jump in. The rest of the solos ranged from Sabbath to Bowie to Metallica, all recognizable and danceable. The drummer beat out a fantastic thirty second solo. I had not practiced my part in front of the group, so I hoped it would be a surprise for them. There were a couple of underclassmen, but most were seniors, and this was meant for them. As soon as I hit the first cords of “School’s Out” everyone was out of their seats and into the aisles. Even the band was clapping along. I looked across the audience and found Annie standing in the same spot I had stood while I watched her. She was dancing and clapping with everyone else. It didn’t get better than this. We went back into “Whole Lotta Love” one more time and I yelled, “Last time!” As the last note reverberated we joined hands and bowed. When I looked up I saw only excited, happy people. The images of Bloody Annie were nowhere to be seen. For now.

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30 The kids were happy, I was happy, it was a great night even without the prospect of talking to Annie. For the first time in many of their lives the kids were talking about going over to the dance. They were not the social animals many high school kids were. Su introduced me to her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Fong, after the show. “We have heard many wonderful things about you, Mr. Finn,” Su’s mother said. “Thank you,” I said. “Su’s a wonderful girl and a talented musician.” “Thank you, Mr. Finn,” Su’s father, said. “But we have noticed she has been spending much time with the guitar and not so much time with the violin or Latin, or for that matter, physics.” Su looked at her shoes. About this time Candyland, whose hair was pink for tonight’s performance, appeared behind Su, grabbed her by the neck and gave her an affectionate squeeze. Then she slapped the father’s shoulder and said, “What up, Papa Su?” “But she has widened her circle of friends,” Su’s mother said hopefully. “That,” said Su’s father said, “She has done quite successfully.” “We’re gonna slide on over to the dance, if that’s okay with you guys,” said Candyland. Su looked up hopefully. There was a strained silence. 112


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I interjected, “It’s a school function and will be well supervised.” “You have a chess lesson early in the morning,” said his father. “I will be there and ready to learn,” Su said. “Yes, you will,” said Mr. Fong. “What time shall I pick you up after the dance?” “Eleven,” said Candyland, already pulling her away. “Hey, maybe you can give me a ride home too?” “Perhaps,” Mr. Fong said while looking at me. “Hard, watching them grow up,” I said.

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31 The gym was dark, undecorated, and loud. It was fairly crowded with a few girls dancing and a larger crowd milling around the perimeter of the covered basketball court. The music was a dance mix of a pop songs followed by another dance mix of other pop songs. I walked around until I found Mrs. Merrifield, the teacher in charge of the dance. She was with Mr. Kisner, the track coach, whose team was selling bottled water as a fundraiser. Both congratulated me on the show. My job was to try to be invisible, keep an eye out for trouble, and watch the doors that led back into the Main building. Pretty easy, but boring. I started looking for Annie. The lower levels of the bleachers were rolled back, but the higher ones were stationary. I slid in there, hunkered down, and scanned the gym. I did watch for trouble but my focus was finding the wearer of those white shorts. After thirty minutes I was sure she had gone, fled again at my persistence. This was a roller coaster. I went through my stages: mad, sad, guilty then started over again. The later it got, the less focused I became. The music turned into a throbbing drumbeat with only a few recognizable melodies. The dance floor became more saturated as the evening moved on. Guys plucked up enough courage to ask someone to dance, lest the chance be lost until next year, and girls realizing that some of the boys would never have the guts to ask, went for it themselves. Either way things were picking up as the chance of summer romance ticked away. 114


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“What you doin’ up there in the gloom, Mr. Finn?” It was Candyland and Su yelling from the level below. “My job,” I yelled over the music. “Which is?” Su yelled. “Watching out for hoodlums and instigators,” I yelled. “That’s us,” Candyland yelled. “I’m a hoodlum and Su is just an apprentice hoodlum.” I smiled. I was genuinely going to miss them all. “Come down here, we got something for you,” Candyland yelled. “I don’t know if I can trust you two,” I yelled. And I didn’t. “Come on Mr. Finn,” Su yelled. “You cannot refuse a gift from a friend. It is dishonorable.” I knew I was being duped, but I couldn’t say no. Not to these two. I pulled myself off the bleachers and went down to the court. As soon as I stepped onto the floor each of them grabbed an arm and started pulling me to the center. “You must dance with us, Su said. I panicked. “I can’t dance with students. Are you crazy?” “Yep, I’m completely warped, but that’s beside the point,” Candyland said. “Look, we’re fast dancing and there are two of us so, technically, you are just dancing with a group. It’s too dark for any cameras to see even who you are. We were close enough that we didn’t have to yell. But Candy leaned in even closer and said, “Besides, if you won’t I’m going to plant the biggest wettest kiss you’ve ever had, right here in front of everybody.” Then she smiled wickedly and winked. I let them pull me to the center. I felt awkward at first, then I picked up the rhythm. They were dancing a good eight to ten feet away so I relaxed a bit. I kept thinking one flash from a cell phone and I would be trending on the net. I was in the center facing out toward Su and Candyland. I had the distinct feeling of more space around me, like the dancers were dropping out. 115


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Then the song changed. It was slow. It was different from the drone and thump of the songs before. I’m not sure who sings it, but I think it’s called Forever Young, not Dylan’s Forever Young, the one from Napoleon Dynamite. Candyland stepped up and Su faded back. “Here’s the present Mr. Finn, the rest is up to you.” She clasped my right hand and walked past me, spinning me around toward the center of the floor and there was Annie, looking as dumbfounded as I was. A girl stood behind her. She had apparently spun Annie as Candyland had spun me. Everyone had cleared the dance floor. We stood there looking at each other not knowing what to do. Then I heard Mrs. Melrose’s voice over the music, “Oh for God’s sake, just dance with her!” Annie smiled, then she was in my arms. We slipped into a flawless rhythm. She nuzzled her head in my neck in front of everyone. Everyone started clapping. I watched Candyland slip back into the crowd giving me a thumb up before she disappeared. If there had been a spotlight and a disco ball it would have been a scene out of a corny teen movie. Dancers began drifting back onto the floor. Cell phones flashed. We didn’t say anything for a while. I could feel her heart beating and I could smell her hair. I couldn’t imagine anything better than this. “I guess you didn’t know anything about this either?” I said softly into her ear after a while. “No. Lindsey pulled me on to the dance floor, she wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Her lips touched my ear as she spoke. “We did talk about this song in class this week in the context of romance. I guess they remembered.” We continued to sway in unison. “What do you think of this song, you know, in terms of romance?” she asked.

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“I highly endorse the song. I’m also feeling pretty good about romance in general.” I pulled her a little closer. “Any regrets?” “Just that I didn’t dump Frank sooner.” This evening was getting better and better. The DJ was aware of the mood of the room and played three more slow songs to end the dance. I didn’t want to stop dancing. I didn’t want to let go of her. “Okay, what now?” I said. We were dancing without music. People walked off the floor, some hand in hand for the first time, with the prospect of a summer love looming ahead. The DJ started packing up his gear. “I want to stay like this,” she said. The cleanup crew was ready to take up the protective cover on the floor “That’s a monumental change in the girl who wouldn’t allow me to eat lunch with her, “I said. “A lot has changed,” she said. One of the custodians was making his way toward us. “Annie, we are going to have to leave sometime,” I whispered. “Sorry folks, the time for dancing is over. You don’t gotta go home, you just gotta get out of here.” the custodian said. “I have an idea,” she said. “I have to go back to the auditorium and get my guitar,” I said. “Okay, I have to run back to my room to get my keys,” she said. We decided to meet at the doors to the parking lot after we gathered our things. Walking through the halls was one of the scariest things I had done in a while. Not that I was afraid of any of the things I had seen, I just didn’t want to see anything else that would spoil this evening. I wanted to be a normal guy with the girl of his dreams, not some demon-seeing freak. I walked resolutely through the halls, not too fast, not too slow, looking into the rooms as I passed, but not looking too hard. I found my guitar and case behind the back curtain and

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made it back to the door without incident. Annie was waiting for me. She faced me and laid her hands on my shoulders. “Listen, I don’t want to go to your apartment because, well, we both know what will happen and I don’t want to do anything to mess this evening up.” I personally couldn’t imagine how that could possibly mess anything up, but I kept quiet. “Follow me back to my place, I’m not going to invite you in, just wait in your car.” I started to say something but she put her finger on my lips. “Trust me,” she said. I almost told her that I didn’t have to follow her back, I knew how to get to her apartment quite well, but I knew it sounded creepy before I even said it. I was learning. She lived in a big brick building, four stories high, and about fifty yards long. It must have housed thirty apartments. The parking lot was big enough to have several of its own streetlights which were on and glowing, a halo of insects orbiting beneath each. Behind the lot was a wooded area, dense and shadowed, just past the reach of the lights. I pulled into the parking space beside her and watched as she used a key to let herself into one on the communal entrances. I got out of my car and leaned against the hood. Most of the windows were dark like everyone was already in bed. I could hear the engine ticking and the hum of the parking lot lights. She was back quicker than I expected. That was my girl, all the surprises were pleasant. She had a bedroll strapped to her back and was carrying a backpack. She tossed the backpack to me and said, “Come on, there is some place I want to show you.” I followed her to the edge of the parking lot where the shadows had hidden an entrance to a trail. I would have been lost after ten steps but she knew where she was going. The trail twisted through trees and bushes and up and over hills. She moved easily while I tripped over roots and snapped branches every few steps. I nearly fell once and I heard her giggle. If she 118


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got too far ahead I wouldn’t have a chance in this darkness and I’d be wandering around until morning, maybe longer. Whenever I’d ask her where we were going or how much longer she would shush me. “I’m going to start leaving pieces of clothing to mark the trail in case I get lost,” I said. She giggled some more. And she didn’t slow down. I got the feeling we were nearing water. I don’t know why I thought so, I couldn’t hear it or see it, but I was pretty sure. Maybe it was the dampness in the air. After ten minutes of walking Annie slowed and whispered to me. “You’re going to have to be really quiet through this next part.” She pointed to her right through the trees. The land sloped down and away from us ending at a riverbank. I could easily spot two guys with fishing poles sitting with their backs to us. A small campfire burned to their left. The water’s edge was worn smooth and bare, as if it were an often used spot. There might have been more people there, but it was impossible to tell because of the trees. The water reflected in the firelight was a sheet of olive green. She took my hand and we moved on down the path without being noticed. “Fishing for catfish,” she said when we were out of earshot. I got hold of the back of her shorts and pulled her to a stop. She turned. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” Instead of answering she kissed me, right there in the darkness of the woods. It was a long, deep kiss that made me forget my question. “Almost there,” she said and took my hand. I followed. The incline got a little steeper and we veered off the main trail. “Watch your head,” she said as she held back tree branches for me. I didn’t think we were on a trail anymore, just a path she was forging on her own. Finally, we came out into an open area as big as my 119


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classroom. The river below us emptied out into a huge bay. In the distance a train trestle spanned the water and cast a moon shadow on the surface below. The moon was so big and bright it almost seemed like daylight after being in the woods for so long. The water was flat and glass-like, as perfect as a bad painting. We were on a cliff that jutted right out of the mountainside and was probably invisible to anyone or anything, except maybe a satellite. It was as if we were the only people on the planet. “Wow,” I said. “This is unreal.” I walked to the edge and looked over. It wasn’t straight down, but close. When I looked back at her she was just standing there in the moonlight, tan shoulders and green eyes. How many times can a heart melt? We unrolled the sleeping bag, it was a large one, and lay down with our hands laced behind our heads like a couple of kids watching the clouds. “This is part of a state park,” she said. “A park ranger lives in my building, we talked, and I started walking the trails. By myself.” “And he showed you this place?” My chest tightened a bit. “The ranger is a she and no, I found this on my own. I don’t know if anybody even knows it’s here.” “Are we supposed to be here?” “Technically no, but the park entrance is way over there, and no one knows we’re here, so….” “Miss Spencer, you’ve become a rule breaker,” I rolled over and our eyes met. “Have you fooled everyone all along or are you just now turning bad?” “I suppose it has been my recent acquaintances that have given me a disregard of the law.” There was a splash, it was distant, but we both heard it and sat up quickly. I watched as radiating circles grew then dissipated on the surface below. “Must have been a fish,” she said. We lay back down in our original positions and looked at the stars. Away from the city glow there were many more than I had ever seen before. Annie knew several of the constellations and showed me where they were, and what writers had used 120


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them in their prose. A cricket chirped somewhere back in the woods. Then another, then several answered their calls. “Those insects seem irritated that we’re here,” I said. “No, I think they are just looking for a mate.” She let that hang for a moment. “They’ve not been out when I’ve come before.” “How many times have you been here?” “A few, mostly on hot days.” “On hot days? Why hot days?” She smiled coyly, “Haven’t you noticed, no tan lines.” “Oh,” I said. Then it hit me. “Ooh…” Her shoulders were smooth and tan. I reached over and lifted the waistband of her shorts to check for evidence of tan lines on the bottom half. She slapped my hand, lightly. “Stop that, Mr. Finn.” She rolled onto her side again but this time she put her head on my chest and curled up against me. Her hand slid under my shirt and she started tracing little circles on my stomach with her fingernails. After a moment, she said, “So what now?” I had a couple of ideas, but I kept my mouth shut. “I mean this is about where we were a couple of months ago,” she said. “Do we still have the same problems that we did then?” “I didn’t really have any problems,” I said. “Do you see a future with me?” “I can’t see a future without you,” I said. She was quiet. The fingernails continued to circle. The crickets had stopped. The night was so quiet we could have gone back three hundred years. Maybe a thousand. “I can see a future with you too,” she said. “So, we’re back to the same problem I had before. I have to know that the police aren’t going to show up and drag you off.” She waited for me to reply and I didn’t. I could understand now how people in the past were so thoughtful. It was the quiet, the timelessness of being outdoors like this. Walden Pond allowed for insight, Walmart didn’t.

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“I need to know you are the person I’m with now, not someone with a secret personality.” I had decided what I would tell her back in the dark days of loneliness. I would tell her rather than lose her again. But it was difficult. Telling her might chase her off, and this time for good. So, I could be honest and let her decide whether she wanted to live her life with a freak, or not tell her and allow my secrecy to eat her up. Too much pressure for a perfect night like this. “I’m afraid if you know too much about me,” I took a deep breath, “you won’t want to stay with me.” Her fingers stopped and she pulled her head back. “I can’t see that happening.” She sat up, Indian style, and faced me. I did the same thing. The moon behind her gave her hair a silver sheen and even though it was dark I could still see her face and those beautiful green eyes. She reached out and took my hand into both of hers. As I became tenser, a burden seemed to lift from her. “Let’s take this slow. One question at a time.” “Okay,” I said. She held my hands firmly and asked very seriously, “Have you ever killed anyone?” I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. She looked at me like I was a crazy man. “No, do you think I’m a killer”? “No, I guess not,” then she started to laugh too. We laughed for a long time. “So why didn’t you want your picture in the paper or on the news?” “There was a guy, I won a lot of money from him in a card game. He thought I cheated.” I said. “That’s it?” she said. “Well, he kind of might have been a Mafia guy.” “Oh,” She said.

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“And I kind of made up a story about me being FBI so I could get out of there in one piece.” She wasn’t all that shocked about me making up a story. “And you thought he might come looking for you if you were on the news?” “Probably not, but why take the risk? It was a good bit of cash.” “Enough to buy a building?” she asked. “Not quite, but I’d played cards before.” “And you always won?” “I always won the last hand.” “How did you do that? Did you cheat?” “Nope, I have a gift.” “A gift? What do you mean?” This was it. How she was going to react would determine the rest of my life. Some of the most pivotal points of a person’s life pass them by without them knowing it. Not me, I knew this was the magic moment. “I know what people are thinking,” I said. “What?” “Not all the time, just when I want to, or, sometimes when the other person is very emotional. In that situation, it comes to me like a smell.” She looked at me blankly. “You know, like a pizza. You can smell a pizza and know what it is without seeing it. Probably the toppings also.” Her mouth started to quiver and her eyes welled up. “I trusted you,” she said, her voice beginning to crack. It was my turn to look blank. She let go of my hand. “You’re giving me a story like that! I trusted you and brought you out here and you’re lying to me. If I wasn’t so hurt my intelligence would be insulted.” She started to get up. I reached for her hand. “I’m not lying,” I said softly. “Why would I make up such a dumb story?” She looked right into my eyes and I stared right back.

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“Yeah, why would you?” she asked. The bite had gone out of her voice. She still didn’t believe me but she was going to hear me out. It was either that or leave me in the woods. “You can read minds?” “It’s not as straight forward as that,” I said. “Explain it to me then.” “It’s hard to explain… it would be easier to show you.” She gave me one of those flat looks, like, what kind of trick is this? “Clear your mind. Try not to think about anything.” She closed her eyes and exhaled. It took me about a second. I thought uh oh, she not going to want to know that I know this. But it was the only thing I got. She opened her eyes. “Okay, Houdini, what do you got?” “You thought about me today.” She was not impressed, “Not a real stretch there,” “You thought about me in the shower,” I said, She stiffened. I could tell she was blushing from her cheeks to the top of her neck. She slapped me hard on the shoulder. She started to say something then stopped and slapped me again. I had to smile. “You asked,” I said. She was quiet. I held her hand and waited patiently. The crossroads were coming up rapidly. “Do it again,” she said. “You don’t believe me?” “Do it again.” She closed her eyes. “Australia,” I said. “Unbelievable,” she said looking at me in a whole new way. She was quiet again for a while, then said, “And the story about the card game was true?” I told her it was and explained my short but lucrative time in Las Vegas and Atlantic City. She didn’t run off. “That’s how I knew about Kevin and his bomb making too. Well, not exactly about the bombs, but I knew he was up to something.” 124


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She nodded and bit her bottom lip. “So, that’s why you’re so cocky, you always know what everyone else is thinking.” “Cocky?” “Confident,” she corrected. I didn’t quite know how to take that but things were moving along better than I had expected. I wasn’t going to quibble over vocabulary. “And,” I preempted her next question. “I have only reached into you a couple of times.” “Reached in?” “That’s what it feels like, reaching into someone’s mind.” “Do you do it a lot?” “No, not anymore. It makes me feel kind of dirty. Remember those x-ray glasses. Sounds cool, but how many people do you really want to see naked?” “How long have you had this, gift?” “I guess always. I got better when puberty hit. It’s not as great as it sounds.” “How so?” “It’s not always easy knowing what people think of you. I didn’t always want to know my mom’s thoughts, which can lead to therapy. I always had to fake being surprised at Christmas.” I guess hearing is believing. She didn’t seem repulsed, or frightened. I guess it was more of a relief thinking that your boyfriend has weird powers than thinking he killed a guy. Was I going to be her boyfriend? “There’s a lot of sadness around. If I couldn’t find a way to block it, I would have gone crazy. Now I have a kind of mental filter.” She squirmed across the sleeping bag and unzipped it, then she waited for me to get off of it so we could open it up. I lay down and she curled around me like we had been before. She nuzzled in like a cat on a nap. It had to be two or three in the morning. The air was getting chilly and a little damp, I could feel it sticking to my hair. The stars were brighter than ever but the moon was headed across 125


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the horizon and ready to bury itself into the tree line on a distant mountain. “I promise you I will never look into your thoughts again. I have too much respect to do that.” I felt her nod against my chest. “So, now that everything’s out in the open, how do you feel about the future?” I said. “Pretty good. I mean, this is a shock, but pretty good. I have a lot to think about.” “Better than if I had shot a guy?” “Marginally,” she said. “How do you feel about the future? “I think the future is wide open,” We snuggled in the warmth of the sleeping bag and each other. She fell asleep within a few minutes. I listened to her breath and felt her against me. I was the luckiest man alive. She was beautiful and talented and took my story on the jaw and didn’t run away. I fell asleep peacefully just before the dawn, nestled in the woods, light years away from anyone, with no monsters in the woods. At least none that I could see. Charlie August 1982 Two things happened near the end of the seventies that affected Charlie for the rest of his life. The first thing was Ted Bundy. After his arrest, escape and re-arrest, law enforcement began a new strategy in the fight on crime. They began using a revolutionary tool called the internet to share information. Before Bundy there was very little communication between authorities in different states, sometimes even between districts. Because Bundy killed in several different parts of the country, the police now had methods of categorizing and sharing facts relating to cases anywhere, and even though Charlie wasn’t leaving any kind of evidence, the lack of it could string together some of the disappearances. Charlie watched the Bundy case play out on television. The Lizard Brain told him to cool things until he could figure this internet thing out, use it to his advantage. But he was pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen, he couldn’t stop the ritual any 126


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more than he could stop breathing. Death was more desirable than the concept of quitting. He had been in West Virginia, Ohio, and Pennsylvania and no one had connected anything as far as he knew, but how could he know, until they were at his front door, guns drawn. To Charlie’s surprise the cat and mouse was interesting. He enjoyed the killing, the knife was sublime, sure, but the thought of matching wits with the police sparked another part of his brain. The other important change in Charlie’s life was the passing of his granddad. Charlie had wanted to kill him since moving home from college, almost did it twice, but the Lizard Brain had stopped him. How are you going to explain his absence? Somewhere down the road someone is going to ask. Then your goose will be cooked. Wait. Charlie found him dead one morning in his chair. Must have had a heart attack while watching wrestling, the only thing he did without complaining. The blinds were pulled as always, the only light was coming from the television. His sleeve was burnt up to his shoulder where the dropped cigarette had fallen into the chair. The chair was crispy also. Charlie was lucky the whole place didn’t go up. The end of a sad miserable life. Charlie stared at the body for an hour then called 911. The Lizard Brain had been right, it always was. Within a couple for months he went from a junk yard worker to a business owner. No real change. He had been doing all the work anyway while his granddad sat inside smoking one cigarette after another. The only thing the old guy did right was leave a will. He also left a little nugget of information, for Charlie. His dad had been killed ten years ago in a car wreck, something dear old Granddad had neglected to mention. Still, all in all, it was a great time for Charlie. He bought a computer and became a surfer, as they called it then, on the web. He bought programs for the junk yard business and used them for filing taxes, but that mostly was just for a cover to look at the police blotter. It would become a more useful tool later. He followed stories of missing girls in the towns that he had 127


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visited. He read of parents still hanging on to hope that he knew would never be rewarded. He had the entire junk yard to himself. He had the freedom to pound the cars with a sledge hammer when the washing machine whine got too loud. He had no one to answer to. Sometimes when it was bad and the heat radiated from the metal of the cars, Charlie would scream. He would scream for hours, racing from car to car with a baseball bat pounding and smashing until the noises stopped. Charlie had become a monster. Mentally and physically. Ten years working in the yard had transformed a big raw kid into solid raging muscle. Junk yard hard. He shaved the sides of his head and his eyebrows and notched his ear lobes. Though it hadn’t happened yet, he wanted the victim’s last vision to be terrifying. He would be ready if he could just keep one alive long enough. Charlie had raised the level of violence in recent years. He began ripping clothing as soon as he had tossed them into the van. He tore with his hands and teeth, puffing and grunting as he reduced the bodies to their most humiliating and defenseless form. The Lizard Brain saw it as going savage; stripping away his own humanity and turning animal with no moral code at all. It’s only concern was to keep him free to kill again. After an abduction, he would climb into the front and turn on the Zeppelin. And settle in for the drive to the marsh and what he thought of as the second show.

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32 I skipped my graduation the next day. Actually, I slept through it on the side of a mountain overlooking a river. They could mail my diploma to me. The last week of school is always chaos. It’s also very emotional for seniors and new teachers. The graduates are preparing for college or real jobs, the teachers who haven’t been too jaded are saying good bye to peers and friends. I shouldn’t have been involved, I’d already said my good-byes, but I got sucked in anyway. Annie had the worst of both worlds. Like the seniors, she knew she wouldn’t be back. The lady she was subbing for would be back in the fall and there were no openings in the county for an English teacher. She had gotten close to many of the students, who saw her as a role model, and much of the faculty, who viewed her as a youngster. I saw her every evening that week. Nothing special, we would watch TV at my apartment or take a walk at hers. She would cook our supper and I would do the dishes. I would take her out to eat. We talked about the school, the people there, and the kids. I didn’t spend the night once. She thought everyone would be watching us after the dance. I didn’t think anyone cared one way or another, but I didn’t say anything. She tried not to ask me what people were thinking, but that continually crept into the conversations. I was like a wondrous new toy. She was too inquisitive to leave it alone but she also realized it was a bottomless pit of information that no one could do anything with. Once she felt like a window peeper she would 129


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drop it, I knew how it worked, I’d been down that road. I told her who I thought she should stay away from, both male and female, and that was both the student body and the faculty. She listened without asking too many questions. Once the summer began we had some hard choices to make. We didn’t have jobs. Annie had been thrifty, no TV, no cable, no credit cards and not a lot of money spent on groceries. She would be able to get by for a few months. I tried to talk her into giving up her place and staying with me. She wouldn’t go for it. I’ll give her credit, she stuck to her guns and said if the money ran out she would get a job at the mall and sub when school started. I still had a pretty good chunk of money in the bank from my card playing days, but it wasn’t a limitless amount. I was going to have to get a job someday. The thought was not pleasant and against my true nature. I was going to have to grow up. We started applying for jobs on line in different counties and states. We applied for dozens. We applied in huge counties and in small ones. Our degrees were a bit limiting. I was certified in Social Studies and History, she was only able to teach English Lit. On any hiring rubric we scored low. We had no experience and no graduate hours or degrees. Teachers with the most experience and hours would take the jobs of those retiring or leaving for some reason. A good job at a good school could have hundreds of applicants. We would be lucky to get a bad job in a terrible school, but we applied anyhow. Annie did most of the work. She would research and apply for both of us. She ended up being very proficient at the process and by the end third week we started getting rejection emails. Not really rejection, but telling us the job had been filled or we were not the top qualifiers. Most counties only listed that the positions were filled on their web site saving the money of snail mail. The week of the Fourth of July we got some better news. I got an interview in the northern part of the state and Annie got two, one in the southern and one in the middle. It wasn’t exactly 130


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what we wanted but she said our luck was changing. She was like that. Optimistic. Neither of us broached the subject of getting jobs in separate places. My interview didn’t go that well. I had about a two hour drive and got there early. The school looked nice enough from the outside, it was clean and well-kept and the lines on the parking lot had been freshly painted. Inside the custodians were waxing the classroom floors and all the desks were in the halls, along with all the other things that classrooms have. I wound my way through to the office and introduced myself to the secretary who led me to a conference room. I think it was an old classroom that had been sectioned off for meeting and interviews. It smelled like fresh paint and new carpet. In the center of the room eight chairs surrounded a wooden table. The chairs looked comfortable but worn. The table looked like it was from World War II. I sat. The clock on the wall above me sounded like a time bomb. I took a seat at the end of the table. Annie packed me a lunch, she was much more domestic than I realized, and I could not imagine a better time to eat it. Cold chicken in Tupperware and two raspberry Zingers for desert. I was living the dream. I really was. I finished off the chicken quickly and reached for the Zingers. That’s when a moment of crystal clear realization hit me. My lunch carrier was a nylon box that had a hard, insulated inner shell. In the bottom of the shell was a hair, Annie’s hair. In that moment, I could not conceive of anything I could love more than that hair. It was a piece of Annie, her DNA, and her essence that had traveled a hundred miles with me. A squiggly little line that had flattened itself to the bottom of my lunch box. It was like a letter from home to a G.I., a family photo to a college freshman. I felt a wave of love so strong I could feel my heart beating in my chest. In that singular moment I realized I was never going anywhere without her. I didn’t want to work at any school without her in it. And I certainly did not want a job here. I opened the Zingers and smiled. By the time I unwrapped the second Zinger, I could hear voices coming my way. They were loud and yippy and reminded 131


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me of two little dogs that barked just to be barking. Two ladies entered the room followed by a man in a sports jacket. The first lady strode into the room with authority and a yellow legal pad in her hand. A gigantic purse was thrown over her shoulder. She was big. Big Legs, big butt, big breasts, and big hair. Midsixties. The next lady wasn’t as big but she was going to be in a few years. She was the exact same woman only a generation behind. They were the yippers. The guy seemed all right though. He was smart, I don’t know how I made that assumption, but he was. Maybe it was his eyes, or maybe it was that little smirk he had following the ladies up the hall. “Good morning,” said the big lady. “You are… Let’s see,” she glanced down at her legal pad. “Mr. Finn,” the guy in the sports coat said. “What’s up,” I said and nodded to each. “Well yes,” the big lady said and threw a glance at her friend. She continued. “I am Mrs. Pack and this is Ms. Davies and Mr. Faller.” They seated themselves about halfway down the table on opposite sides, with Mr. Faller on the end, opposite me. She paused for effect. “Here at Farmington we interview by committee, Mr. Faller is the principal and has the final say of course, but our input is highly valued. Isn’t that right Mr. Faller?” “Yep,” Mr. Faller said. The ladies nodded to each other. “I’ve compiled a list of some things I’d like your opinion on Mr. Finn, just as a way of breaking the ice.” “Shoot,” I said. “Just off the top of your head, what was the most important event of the twentieth century?” the big lady asked. “Damn Germans, “I said. Mr. Faller, who had been leaning way back in his chair, leaned forward. “Well, all right.” The big lady cleared her throat. Not to be thwarted she continued, “What do you see as the biggest threat to our country in the twenty-first century?” “Damn Mexicans,” I said. 132


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Ms. Davies, who looked as if she might have a little Spanish blood in her, snorted. Mr. Faller fought back a smile. Mrs. Pack was writing furiously on her pad. Davies turn to ask a question; “How, in your opinion, has television influenced our society in terms of changing our opinions on cultural morays?” “Three things come to mind,” I said. “The Kennedy assassination, the moon landing, and Lady Gaga’s debut on ‘Dancing with the Stars.’ Things were never the same after that.” There was silence. Mr. Faller smiled. “Any more questions, ladies?’ Mr. Faller said, “You know son, you’re not going to get this job.” “Guess not,” I said. He stood, “Let me walk you out then,” he said. I looked at the ladies, “Gotta bounce,” I said. We walked through the school and out into the sunshine. In front of the school was a bench, he motioned for me to sit. Mr. Faller slumped on the bench with his elbows on his knees and looking at the ground. I felt comfortable sitting there with him. “You’re pretty much a smart ass, you know.” he said. “Yes sir,” I said. “Good at it though,” he said. A slight breeze rattled the oak leaves on the trees. The clouds changed shape against the blue sky above. A gray squirrel ran down one tree and up another without taking any notice of us. We sat. I got the feeling he didn’t want to go back in with those women. “Long way to come just to screw up an interview,” he said, still looking at the sidewalk. “I really wanted a job when I got here, then things changed,” I said. He looked at me but didn’t say anything. I explained about the hair. I felt I owed him that. He listened and slowly nodded. 133


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“Love’s a hell of a thing,” He said. We sat. The squirrel found another squirrel to chase. They spiraled up the trunks with quick little hops and flicking tails. We watched them disappear into the foliage. “Well son, don’t let her get away.” I liked the way he called me son. “I found somebody few years back. It was more than a few, maybe more like thirty.” He winked at me. “It was 1985 and my first principle job. She thought it would look bad for both of us, her being a teacher. We can’t see the important crossroads when we’re in the middle of them. Not until later when it’s too late.” He was quiet. I could have looked in to see what he was thinking, but I didn’t. He took a breath and looked at me as if surprised I was still there. “I’ve enjoyed today Mr. Finn. You’ll go down as one of the worst interviewees we’ve ever had. I’m sure those two in there have already spread the word.” He stood and offered his hand, which I took. “Now get home and don’t let her get away. Nothing worse than regret.” “Thank you, sir, for the advice and not giving me the job.” “My pleasure,” he said and sat back down on the bench. I got to my car and pulled away. The road neared the bench on the way out of the parking lot. I leaned over the passenger seat and gave him a wave as I went by. I caught a glimpse in the rearview before I was too far away. He was leaning back on the bench with his hands behind his head and his ankles crossed, soaking in the sunshine. The squirrels played on the grass behind him.

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33 The ride back took forever even though I hit ninety on a couple of straight stretches. I was as excited as I’d ever been. Me, Mr. Cool, was as giddy as an eighth grader going to a Girl Scout dance. Annie was home, her interview was much closer than mine, and I could picture her at her sink fixing us something to eat. I planned several things to say to her but I pretty much knew I was going to screw them up, so I didn’t need to worry until I got there, then say something poetically romantic. I pulled into her parking lot without calling and parked beside her car. I bounded up the steps and used my key to get into the building and then again at her door. I burst in. She was at the oven, facing away. There was something whistling on the stove top and she was trying to make it stop. She jumped when I barged in. “What are you doing?” she snapped. She was wearing a little blue tank top and pink underwear. “You scared me to death.” She turned to attend to the pot. “What are you doing…?” I came up behind her and wrapped my hands around her stomach. “Prancing around in this provocative outfit?” She pushed back into me and I hugged her a little tighter. “You mean in my locked second story apartment?” She nimbly turned and kissed me. I ran my hands up the back of her shirt. She kissed my neck. Then she pushed me away. 135


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“Whew,” she said. “Maybe you should startle me more often.” The pot on the stove top started to boil over again and she again focused on it. “I just got home a few minutes ago, and was changing when the pasta started foaming up. Can you keep stirring it while I go put something on?” “I’ll stir it if you don’t put anything on.” She gave me that little smile that said she was both amused and irked. But she didn’t leave. She handed me the wooden spoon and pushed herself onto the counter where she sat Indian style. “So, how did it go?” “Surprisingly, I didn’t get the job,” I said. “Me neither,” she said. “It was a good interview, I felt really good about it, I think she did too. But she couldn’t hire me. No experience and a ton of people applied. She said she’d keep me in mind.” “I got an idea,” I said. I pushed the pot onto a cold burner. I think she thought I was going to suggest going out to dinner. “Let’s get married.” “What?” “I love you. Let’s get married.” “We can’t get married, we don’t have jobs.” She slid off the counter and landed lightly, like a ninja. “We’re not applying for a loan, they let people without jobs get married. Besides, if we’re going to be poor we might as well be together.” She was on me before I knew it, she threw her arms around my chest and pulled tight. We stayed like that for a good while, wrapped in each other’s arms and I tried to picture us sixty years from now. I would be as happy then as I was now. I was sure of it. She tilted her head up and looked at me. Her eyes were rimmed with tears and she was sporting a big goofy grin. “Isn’t there supposed to be a ring or something?” she said.

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“Aw man,” I said. I couldn’t believe I forgot a ring or to get down on my knee. Not something I could call a redo on. King of romance. Then it hit me. “Is that a yes?” “Yes. No. I don’t know.” “It can’t be all three,” I said. “I’ll drain the pasta, I think it’s cooked. You go lay down.” Lying on her couch was one of the best things in life and I would never pass on the opportunity. It was soft and cozy and smelled like her. I could see her pouring the pot into the sink in her little pink underwear. I was beginning to love domestic life. She came in and pulled an ottoman up beside me. I put my hand on her knee. “Okay, what got all of this started?” she asked. I explained about the hair and Mr. Faller and his advice. She thought about that and said, “I do love you and I can see us together as a family, but do you think now is the right time?” “Yep, the perfect time.” I moved my hand a little north of her knee. She didn’t seem to notice. Her apartment was so Annie. Nicely decorated with Pier One clearance items. It looked and felt like one of their catalogs. The room didn’t have that square feel of an apartment. Large pots with golden sticks gave height to the corners and the pillows gave pops of color wherever the room seemed dingy. She had created a tranquil and stylish home on a budget. “Don’t worry about the money,” I said. “I have a couple of ideas.” “Care to share?” she said. “Not yet, let me work some things out, talk to a couple of people.” “You are still secretive about things, I don’t like it. I moved my hand a little further. “Trust me, I just want to try to see if something is possible then we can make a decision together.” She liked the making the decision together part.

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My hand had moved as far as it could without looking like I was lunging for her. She reached for me and put her hand on my cheek and lightly rubbed my lips with her thumb. “Can we get married?” she asked. “We’re allowed,” I said. “I don’t even know how old you are,” she said. “Do you care?” “No, I guess not,” she said. She moved from my lips and cheek to the hair above my ears. “And I’d be Mrs. Finn?” “Yep. And I’d be just plain Finn. Like Pacman and Mrs. Pacman.” She stopped stroking my hair and slapped me on the arm. Then she smiled contentedly. “Mrs. Finn, huh?” she said. “Mrs. Finn,” I said. She said, “I don’t see it.” She stood, turned and walked back toward the kitchen. “What?” I said, half sitting up. Annie was nearly back into the kitchen when she turned, smiling. She was back in three steps and dove on the couch. Before I knew it I was pinned under her. “So, are we getting married?” I asked. “Yes.” She bent down to kiss the corner of my mouth. “No.” She kissed the other corner. “Maybe.” Full on the lips. She sat back up and flipped her hair behind her shoulders. “Maybe we should sleep on it,” she said. “It’s not even dark yet,” I said. But that’s not what she meant.

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34 The next morning, I smelled the bacon before I opened my eyes. I padded into the kitchen, which was only about ten feet from the bedroom, to find Annie at the stove scrambling eggs. Her hair was in a high ponytail and she was wearing an oversized tee shirt and slippers. She didn’t acknowledge my presence, she stirred while she talked. “Still ready to spend your life with me?” she asked. “Yep,” I said. “Are you going to read my thoughts?” “Nope.” I said. “I’ll be as clueless as every other guy.” “Are you going to love me, even when I look like this?” “I’m going to love you because you look like this,” I said. I picked up a piece of bacon that was cooling on another plate. I expected a slap with the wooden spoon but it didn’t come. She stirred and thought. She picked up a piece of bacon and bit off the end. “It makes sense splitting our costs,” she said. “That’s romantic,” I said. She licked a piece of cheese off the spoon absentmindedly. I loved when she put cheese in the scrambled eggs. I loved when she licked things off spoons also. She looked at me for the first time of the day. “I love you, I really do. I’m just not sure the timing is right.”She came and hugged me, burying her head in my shoulder. “I wish there was some kind of sign,” she said. 139


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“You mean something from the cosmos that proves we are destined? Annie, that kind of thing only happens on television.” Her cell phone buzzed. Both of us jumped. It was there on the counter, the face lighted and buzzed like it had been stung. We were still embracing and looking at each other. She was smiling widely. She didn’t move. I shoved her toward it. “If that is ANYBODY but a telemarketer, we’re getting married,” I said still amazed. Maybe there was something in the cosmos that was in charge of entwining destinies. I only got a bit of the conservation. There was “Yes, it is…. I enjoyed talking to her too…. No….” I tried to horn in on the conversation, but she waved me away. “Yes… Yes… I’m sure I could… When? Yes… Thank you.” She put down the phone. “I just got offered a job.”

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35 The school was called Quiet Dell. The town was called Quiet Dell. We Googled it and found it was a small West Virginia community that had around ten thousand residents and a little less than eight hundred students, and that was including the middle school. It had a good rating by the state and a great rating by the parents. There was a small hospital and a public library, the fire department was voluntary. The student and residential populations had thinned over the previous decades but was starting to strengthen of late, probably due to the fact that more young people were graduating and staying in the community because of the lack of jobs elsewhere. The area was very rural. “Is this a place you want to live?” I asked. “With you, yes,” she said. “Let’s see how the interview goes before we make any decisions.” “Funny she called on a Saturday morning.” “She explained. She’s a good friend of Mrs. Rupe, whom I interviewed with yesterday. She said Mrs. Rupe was very impressed with me but couldn’t hire me. So, she called her, knowing she had an English opening. I guess there’s not many teachers in the area and no one wants to move there.” “Nobody but us,” I said. “We’ll see.” We sat at Annie’s bistro beside the window that over looked the parking lot. She had a flip tablet and a pencil and was making a list. She loved making lists. We ate the breakfast, Annie absentmindedly, and me enjoying the bacon and eggs. 141


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The coffee pot whistled and I got up to make us each a cup. I put Annie’s in front of her and she thanked me without looking up. “I’m probably not going to see you until this evening,” I said. She looked up sharply, “Why?” “I have some stuff to do.” “What, you’re just going to have your way with me and leave me in the morning?” She said in mock disbelief. I winked at her and took a sip of coffee. ‘No, really what are you going to do?” “Just some stuff. We’re not married yet, I can’t give up all my secrets.” She seemed a bit more confused than miffed, but went back to her list making. I finished my coffee and rubbed her shoulders from behind, then bent and kissed her neck, which she liked. She exhaled softly and I headed for the couch whispering, “Always leave them wanting more.” The note pad hit me square in the back.

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36 I went home and dug out an engagement ring I had won in a card game. It was a good-sized stone and it was real, I had had it checked out. I hoped Annie wouldn’t think of it as someone else’s ring. Most rings have been remounted and resold down through the years. So even if I had bought one at a jewelry store there isn’t any reason to believe it came straight from the ground. I cleaned it with some dishwashing detergent. My next stop was Growlin’ Dogs, the hot dog shop under my apartment. Debbie, the owner had been making a killing for the past couple of years. I went in the back door to the kitchen where she made the sauce. She was there cleaning up after the noon rush and getting ready for the supper rush. I had always thought she was pretty savvy and had good business sense. I pulled her aside and we stepped out into the back parking lot. “Do you ever think about expanding?” I asked her. “Every time I walk out the front door,” she said wiping her hands on her apron. “Steve at the baseball card shop is losing money. I think he’d be thankful if his lease ran out,” I said. “Yeah, he comes over and gets lunch every occasionally. He sounds like he wants out.” “What do you think?” I said. “I’ve thought about it for a long time, funny you should bring it up now. It’s like you’re reading my mind,” she said. I smiled. “You’d let me knock down some walls and remodel the way I wanted?” 143


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“I wouldn’t care, if you owned the building,” I said. It took her a moment to get it. “You want to sell the building?” “I want to sell it to you. I don’t want to sell it to someone who is going to come along and raise your rent when they realize you’re doing well.” She kicked at the ground. “I don’t know if I can swing it, I mean, it’s a whole building.” I liked Debbie. I wasn’t going to reach in and try to fool her into something that wasn’t good for her. She wasn’t married, she worked hard and the hot dog shop was her life. So I decided to try something to sweeten the pot. “Where do you live?” I asked. “I rent a house up in Homewood Addition.” “I want you to see something.” I took her up the stairs to my apartment. “Whatever rent you’re paying now could go on the building payment.” She whistled when we walked in. “You’d have to talk to a tax guy, but I think there are advantages to living at your place of business.” Even without reaching in I could see the wheels turning. “How much?” she asked. I told her. It was the same amount I had paid when I bought it. “That’s all? That seems low.” “I paid cash. Most of the work I did myself. I made some money in rent off you guys. It seems fair. And look, even if I don’t make a profit that’s still a fair sized pile of money I have coming back to me.” We walked around the place. I showed her the bed and bathroom and she loved the view from the couch. “I know you can’t commit right now, I just need to know if you are interested.” “Yes, very interested. When do I need to let you know?” “Sometime next week. Talk to the bank, talk to a tax guy. I don’t want to rush you into anything.” I led her to the door. “So, why are you selling?” she asked. 144


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“I need the money,” I said. “I’m getting married.” The sun was setting pink and orange when I pulled into Annie’s parking lot. I had felt great all day, great about the ring, great about selling the apartment and business, great about the path my life had taken. I had been so truly alone for so long I thought that was to be my future. Then I found Annie. Charlie Throughout the eighties Charlie continued to kill. He was no slacker. Every spare moment was spent enhancing his routine. Like honing a knife each stroke made him sharper, more efficient. He acquired two more vans. One was dumped off as junk, the other he bartered for with a customer. He removed all the badges from both so they could not be identified as a certain model or make. He switched out the motors with dependable ones from cars he had received as totaled, and painted one gray and the other tan. In each of the three vans he wielded rings to the floor. If he ever did take one alive he could strap them down spread-eagle. The rings could easily be covered by throwing cardboard sheets over them. All the carpet had been ripped out along with any seating. Each could be hosed out after use. When he was going to use a particular van he would fill it up, check all the fluids, put an extra battery in the back and make sure he had the equipment to change a flat if necessary. He tried giving up the pipe as a weapon and settled for a sock filled with the ball bearings he had taken out of cars. The first time he used it, he was parked outside of a club somewhere near Pittsburgh. She came out by herself and staggered a bit as she fumbled for the keys to her car. The last thing she saw was Charlie’s reflection in the car window as he came up behind her. He swung the sock and it caught her behind the ear, dropping her straight to the pavement as her knees buckled. He tossed her in and lashed her down, then ripped at her clothes to see if there was a response. He was so worked up he couldn’t tell if she was alive or dead, so he just got back in the front and drove. 145


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He listened to three Led Zeppelin cassettes on the way back. That part of the ritual would never change. She was gone by the time he got to the marsh. He stripped and got in the back with her and found his knife in its place under the seat. Cutting the rest of her clothes away he put his ear against her bare chest, but couldn’t hear a heartbeat. The knife slid in as before, and pierced the heart. Why just once? He asked himself. He found an opening between the ribs on the right side and pierced her lung. He repeated on the left. Slowly, like a surgeon he penetrated each rib in the rib cage. There was no beating heart to pump the blood; it was settling in the bottom of the body. So there was no mess to be cleaned up, just some clothing and some flesh no one would ever find. He hadn’t even needed to remove his own clothing. As he carried the girl, his seventeenth, to the area beneath the trees, feathers in the trees above rustled with excitement.

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Part II The Whittling Knife

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37 The interview was at one o’clock in the Quiet Dell principal’s office. We had a five-hour drive to get there so we left at about six o’clock Monday morning. This was what I called Annie Time. Start with however long it takes to get some place and add thirty percent. I was never able to extract a logical reasoning for Annie Time except for the ‘something might happen and then we’d be late’ argument. We’d be forty-five minutes early for a movie. This time we would be two hours early for her interview. When I questioned her about it she said, “What if we hit a deer or something, I don’t want to be late.” “Annie, if we hit a deer in your car we won’t be late we’ll be dead.” We were going to leave at the time Annie wanted, we both knew it, so I didn’t protest. The drive was fun. We discussed the job and the school. We told each other our thoughts on marriage. There was never a shortage of topics with Annie. Time flew by. We pulled into town two hours early, which was right on time according to Annie, and looked for someplace to get an early lunch. The main drag could have been Mayberry. In fact the entire town felt like Mayberry. An older couple crossed the street in front of our car, the man threw up his hand as a thank you. The lady held onto his arm, an arm she had most likely held for fifty years. “That could be us someday,” Annie said. The thought was weirdly comforting. 148


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There were several stoplights, maybe ten, strung out in a very straight line but hardly any traffic. We passed a department store and a bait and tackle shop. They were having a sale on deer stands and Coleman lanterns. There was a Workingman’s store full of camouflage and a Dairy Queen. Everything else seemed to be mom and pop stores that had been there forever. At about the fifth stop light we came into a pretty, old fashioned square, flanked on the right by a park and on the left by the Courthouse. The park was green and shaded by enormous elm trees with benches scattered at opportune places along a cobblestone path. The courthouse was clean and stately and probably constructed just after the Civil War. A wide stone stair case led up to an elaborate set of doors. On the stairs were men, in shirts and ties, talking in groups, sitting on the steps and eating lunches out of brown bags. On the third corner was a huge, stone, Methodist church. Annie was quiet as we took it all in. “Where’s Aunt Bea?” I said. She hit me on the arm. “The school is about three miles north of here,” she said. “How do you know?” She pointed at a sign on her side of the road. It read, Quiet Dell School- three miles ahead. We eased on through the town slowing down once for a pedestrian crossing the street and for some kids on bikes carrying fishing poles across their handlebars. The business district was becoming lighter after the seventh stop light. We came across a place called Elkie’s that advertised home cooked meals. Annie said it looked like the perfect place so we pulled into the gravel lot and parked beside a police car. The lot was about half full, mostly pick-ups and a couple ATV’s. The place was loud with conversation and the clanging of heavy plates. It smelled of breakfast, like eggs and grease and bacon and coffee. There were a dozen tables on the left and a counter on the right. All the stools at the counter were taken. Everything was made of chrome and red vinyl. The 149


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conversations and noise stopped when we paused at the cash register. One by one the customers turned and looked at us until everyone was staring. Even the guy wiping down the counter in his white apron froze in mid-circle. I threw up my hand and waved. “Hey, everybody,” I said in my best Gomer Pyle. Annie stepped on my foot. A waitress wearing jeans and a red top had looked up from refilling someone’s coffee and said, “Be with you in a sec.” The conversations started back up. “You shouldn’t have waved,” Annie whispered. She was wearing a short sleeved navy blouse over a pair of tan trousers. Medium height heels. She looked good while still being professional. I had on a pair of jeans and my Ramones tee shirt. Maybe that’s why everyone looked at us. Beauty and the Beasty Boy. As we stood waiting I surveyed the room. Mostly working guys, I thought, there were a couple tables of women and three groups of guys with ties. Several patrons sat at the counter, including a policeman. The waitress seated us, laid down menus and asked if we would like coffee. “What do you think?” Annie asked. “I feel like a stranger in a strange land,” I said. “This is a small town, maybe they are not used to new people invading their space.” “Maybe,” I said. The customers were back into their conversations. They seemed happy, laughing and talking easily with each other. We were quickly forgotten by everyone except the cop at the counter. He watched us through a mirror that was mounted behind the guy working the counter. He was too far away for me to reach into, but I could tell he thought he was being clever to watch us with his back to us. The men on either side of him were talking to people beside them, he was talking to no one and sipping his coffee. He’d sip and glance, sip and glance, it was comical. Finally I waved. He jerked away quickly and went back to his coffee.

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The waitress came back with the coffee and we ordered breakfast even though it was almost lunch. She seemed nice enough, I reached in and got a good vibe, but I couldn’t pick out anything specific. Her name tag said Dolly. She called me Hon, I liked that. “Is this top too low cut for an interview?” “No, you look very professional,” I said. “Make up?” “That looks professional too.” “No, I mean too much for a teacher?” “Annie, you’re not applying to be a nun. Relax you look great.” The food came and it looked great, piled high on a thick white plate that you couldn’t have chipped with a sledge hammer. “You’re in luck,” Dolly said. “The cook saved the last batch of grease for you.” Annie didn’t know what to say. “Artery clogger?” I asked. “Greasiest scrambled eggs you’ll ever eat,” she said with some pride. I ordered the Hungry Man Breakfast Platter, Annie ordered two pieces of toast. I started in, alternating bacon and eggs. I left the sausage for last. You had to have a plan of attack with the Hungry Man Breakfast Platter. Annie, on the other hand, pulled a check list out of her purse and continued her memorization she had started last night. “What are you memorizing?” I asked between bites. “They always ask if you have any questions about the job. So I wrote some questions.” I smiled. “What? Is that dumb?” “No, it’s not dumb, it’s so you,” I said. She was about to ask me what that meant when we both noticed someone approaching our booth. It was the cop ambling across the restaurant. He was ambling. I mean like John Wayne ambling. He even had his thumbs hitched in his belt. 151


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“Good morning folks,” he said. “Good morning, Officer,” Annie said. “Howdy Sheriff,” I said. He stiffened a bit. “Not the Sheriff son. I’m a Deputy and proud of it. “ Son? He was only about five years older. “I’m kind of like the greeter for our little burg here. I like to meet the people who pass through” I poured some syrup on my sausage. “Like to stop any trouble before it happens,” he said. He smiled the kind of smile you practice in the mirror. “We’ll be on the lookout for trouble,” I said. “Any kind in particular you’re looking for?” I took another bite, Annie tried to kick me under the table. The cop gave me his scary stare, I looked back blankly. He turned to Annie, “Are you all staying or just passing through?” “Well, I’m applying for a teaching job at the High School. I have an interview this afternoon. And, I guess we will see after that.” Annie gave her perky smile. “I don’t know about her,” I said. “But, I’m staying. I love it here. I love this restaurant. This food is great. Dolly is great.” I leaned in and whispered, “She called me hon.” I winked at him. “I’m even crazy about you, Sheriff.” This wasn’t going the way he had planned it. His face reddened. Dolly came back with the check and laid it on the table. “What are you doing, Warren? Leave these kids alone. They haven’t done anything.” She stood there with her hands on her hips. He started to back away, but he kept his eyes fixed on me. “I’ll be watching you,” he said. “And I’ll be watching for all sorts of trouble making and shenanigans.” He pulled a few bills and dropped them on the counter next to his plate. Most of the diners were watching him and he wasn’t going to leave without the last word. 152


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He came back to the table. “I don’t think this is going to be the place for you to settle down. We don’t like people who run off at the mouth like you.” “I’ll watch it then,” I said. “Sorry if I offended you in any way.” He smirked. He looked around at the rest of the restaurant to see if they had seen him in action. He headed toward the door with his chest puffed out. “Hey Sheriff,” I said a little too loud. “You left your gun on the counter.” He spun around while at the same time reaching for his holster. As he felt the gun in its place, the diner burst into laughter. “Sorry, Sorry,” I said with my hand raised up. “That kind of stuff is funny to me. Don’t know why.” He stormed out. By the sound of the laughter, the place was a little tired of Warren. I felt kind of proud of myself, I liked being passive aggressive. My smile faded when I saw the way Annie was looking at me. She was furious but trying not to show it. “What?” I said. “You know what. We haven’t been here an hour and you’ve started a feud with the police!” “Started?” “Okay, you didn’t start it but you certainly didn’t defuse it.” “It wasn’t a big thing. Everyone will have forgotten by tomorrow,” I said. “Do you think Warren is going to forget it?” We took the check to the register. Dolly was there to ring us out. She took our money and gave us our change, then said, “Better mind your P’s and Q’s, you’ve got a target on your back now.” I smiled my best smile. “Hon, that smile might get you a good ways with me, no disrespect dear,” she said to Annie, “but not with Warren. He’s going to want to embarrass you somehow.” 153


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“Great,” Annie said. “He liked you,” I said. Dolly said, “He may be out there somewhere between here and the school. I wouldn’t get near the speed limit if I were you.” We said goodbye and went to the car a little less excited than when we came in.

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38 Warren was on the side of the street in his cruiser. I could almost feel the radar on me as we passed him. Annie didn’t see me, but I stuck my hand out the window and waved to him over the top of the car. The rest of the drive was scenic, woods and a stream that ran parallel to the road. I felt as though we were heading out into nowhere, just a road that connected one little town to the next. Every so often we’d come to another road veering off to the left or the right with a sign reading, County Road 117, or some strange numbered road. This was rural. When we finally got to the school, you got the feeling that the school was the permanent fixture on this side of the town. It looked to be the same style and era as the buildings in town. The grounds were clean but sparsely landscaped. The building itself was brick and mortar with new windows. The entire length of the front was constructed of granite steps and Ionic columns. The driveway up to the school was a wide horseshoe with parking slots around the outer edge. The place looked very Roman, out here i in the country. A smattering of cars and trucks were parked around the horseshoe. None were new and very few foreign. I pulled into a slot near the main door and turned off the ignition. “You’re staying in the car,” Annie said. My feelings were genuinely hurt, she could tell. “Do you love me?” she asked. “Yes, but...” 155


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“Then do this for me. When we are together you are always the main focus. Do you know what I mean? People are drawn to you, I kind of melt into the background.” I had no idea what she was talking about. “I have to be the focus here, it’s my interview, I have to shine.” Sounded like she had thought about this for a while. “Okay,” I said. “As long as you’re not ashamed of me. I thought maybe because of what happened at the restaurant you thought I was going to be uncouth here also.” “Well, there’s that too.” Then she smiled that beautiful smile. We were going to get married and I’d have that smile forever. If things worked out here. I gave her a peck on the cheek. “Go get’em,” I said. Charlie Charlie watched from the front seat of his van. The parking lot was dimly lit and empty except for a scattering of employee cars and surrounded on three sides by woods. The moon was bright and cast shadows along the area near the tree line. He backed into the darkest spot and waited. He had been here before, not this parking lot, but the area, and caught one twelve years before. A little blond haired teenager with a tiny neck and a bandage on her elbow. She would have been, twenty five, twenty six now? In his mind he wanted to do it right here, in the woods. Strip her and pierce her and leave body parts scattered around. The town would go crazy. The cops wouldn’t have a clue. He smiled to himself and the noises in his head whined higher. No, the Lizard Brain said, if there’s a body they’ll know there’s a murder and a murderer. Keep it clean, you’re batting a thousand. So he waited. She came out of the library carrying several books and an unreasonably large purse. He was going to have to lug all that back to the marsh. He had to stay focused and not forget to pick up any evidence.

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He spotted her walking out of the student union building. Her hair was teased and made her about a foot taller than she actually was. The top of her shirt hung over one shoulder exposing a pink bra strap. She shouldn’t have worn that, Charlie thought. Like wearing a bull’s eye. She also had these little lacy gloves that were fingerless. Shouldn’t have worn them either. She was chewing gum as she walked into the library. Charlie started to fidget. He had been waiting about forty minutes, too long not to be observed. Part of his brain told him to be patient and the other part said he had waited too long. She could have noticed him and already called the police. The voices were screaming at each other with him in the middle. He pounded the steering wheel. He had his hand on the key when she came out, bustling toward the van unaware that her fate was sealed; like a fly buzzing toward a web. Her heels made a clicking sound on the blacktop. There must have been water somewhere around because he could hear peepers, the little frogs that chirp like crazy at night. He let her pass, then was out and closing in on her. He thought the frogs had covered his approach but for some reason the girl turned and saw him before he was close enough to strike. In one smooth motion she dropped her books and swung her purse. The bag was much heavier than it looked and caught Charlie in the temple making him lose his balance and see stars. He hit the pavement with his chin which snapped his teeth together. For some reason the girl didn’t scream or yell or try to run away. She took a step towards Charlie and tried to kick him in the ribs with the pointy toe of her shoe. Charlie grabbed her leg and yanked. She landed on her back side with a smack. He got hold of her ankle and pulled her towards him, but her free leg was pumping and kicking. She slashed him across the face with a fingernail before he could get one of his massive hands on her neck. Once he did, all he had to do was squeeze. Something crackled in her neck and she went slack with her eyes open. 157


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Her head bumped across the pavement as he dragged her by the ankle and hefted her into the van. Once inside he put her in the restraints and bolted her down just for the practice, then dropped the false floor on top of her. He scanned the lot for anything she might have dropped. Finding nothing he drove out of the lot slowly and started the tape. Things were great in Charlie land. Jimmy Page was a wizard on the guitar, he had a body in the back, and he had hours to think about what he was going to do with it. He was beginning to cherish the other parts of the ritual nearly as much as the piercing. The disrobing and the beheading were very intimate for Charlie. He was more to these girls that just someone who had killed them. A texting driver or negligent doctor could have killed them. In his mind he was now bound to them and them to him forever. He decided he was going to put the knife between each rib, front and back. He wept at the thought. They were tears of joy.

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39 As soon as she disappeared through the front doors I felt lonely. I looked around the car for something to read. The only thing I could find was the owner’s manual. After twenty minutes I could change a tire and replace any fuse in the entire car. I knew which gas, oil, and filters to buy and how long they should last. I decided Annie would understand me not being able to stay in the car the entire time and the perfectly reasonable thing to do was to explore the grounds a bit. If I got into any kind of unfortunate situation here, I’d deny knowing Annie and walk back into town. Warren was probably lurking around somewhere and he’d be able to give me a lift. So I got out and started walking the fifty yards or so to the road. I just followed the drive down to the exit. Took me about five minutes. I put my hands on my hips, looked up the road then down the road. Not much to see. I blew out a breath and started back up to the horseshoe. I walked slowly back to the car and leaned against the hood. The sunshine felt good on my face. I closed my eyes and let my good fortune wash over me. My impatience turned into pleasure and I was happy I had forgotten something to read. I’m not quite sure how long I was there, I may have fallen into a semi-standing sleep, but I slowly became aware of a distant knocking sound. There was a hollow wooden sound not unlike a woodpecker’s hammering sound only this wasn’t as rapid. I found a pattern, six of seven knocks then a break, and then it repeated. 159


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I looked around, Annie was nowhere in sight, so I, being the curious naturalist that I have become, decided to investigate. The forest wrapped around the building with a forty-foot clearing in between. I found a kind of break between the trees that turned into a path. I took a last look at the car and the school and started into the shade of the woods. The knocking continued. I felt like I walked a mile and a half but it was probably only a few hundred feet. The forest gave way to the bright sunshine and a time warp of fifty years. I’m not sure how big an acre is but this meadow seemed hundreds of acres wide. There were big marshmallow things scattered randomly around and a picturesque red barn in the middle. The sound was coming from a figure chopping wood, situated between the barn and an old time pickup truck. I kept walking. He was old and skinny but he kept up a rhythm. His tee shirt, which hung with sweat, was tucked into work jeans. The ax must have been razor sharp because he was chopping through wood as thick as my thigh in just a few swings, then tossing it easily into the back of the truck. “Hey, how’s it going,” I said when I was close enough so I didn’t have to yell. He didn’t jump, didn’t even flinch. It was like he heard me coming. “Howdy,” he said while continuing to chop. “I was over at the school,” I said. “Heard you chopping.” He glanced up, looked me over, and then tossed the log into the truck. It was nearly full. He had been here for a while. I was starting to feel a little awkward having a one sided conversation. “My girlfriend is interviewing for a job…at the school.” Chop, chop, chop. “If she gets it we’re getting married.” “Congratulations,” he said. The sun beat down and he continued to chop. “This all your land?” I said. “Yep,” he said. 160


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“Do you live here?” “Nope,” he said. “That’s just a barn, son. No one lives here.”He rested the head of the ax on the ground and crossed his hands on the end of the wooded part and kind of leaned on it. He looked at me hard for the first time. “So you live…” “Somewhere else,” he said. He stared at my shirt. “What is a Ramones?” he asked. “It’s a band, or was a band. I think they’re all dead now.” He nodded slowly, “Well, that’s a shame.” I held out my hand, “My name’s Finn.” He took it and we shook. “Cleatus,” he said. There was still a good deal of wood left, but it looked like he was quitting. I’m not sure if he was done or done with me. Bending over, he picked up the last two-foot section and put it and the ax in the truck bed. “Nice talking to you,” I said. “Yep,” he said. He opened the cab door and got in. The bench seat squeaked as he did. He clanged the door shut and gave me a nod through the open window. The engine started on the first try. He put the truck in gear and pulled away, going in the opposite direction of the school, a small rooster tail of dust rising in its wake.

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40 I found myself whistling the Andy Griffith theme song as I made my way back to the school. I reached the car as Annie came bounding out of the building. “I got it!” she said in a suppressed scream. She threw her arms around me and squeezed until I had to push away. She was beaming. “Mrs. Null is wonderful! She’s like, like someone out of an old black and white movie. She’s big and loud and so in charge.”She hugged me again. “She showed me my room. It’s old and smells like wooden cabinets and the floor sags in the middle. It’s perfect.” I started to wonder what her criteria was for me. “Do you want to see it, my room?” I sensed that I probably did. It was exactly as Annie described, a hundred year old room with two hundred years of wear. The black board was green and cracked in one corner, it smelled like wet, wooden cabinets, and the center of the room was at least two inches lower than the sides. “Are you sure you got the job? I mean positive, nothing can go wrong?” I asked. “Positive,” she said. “Doesn’t your hiring have to be approved by the school board?” “The school board is Mr. Null, the football booster president and Mrs. Null’s cousin, so, what do you think.” “Is that legal?” I asked. 162


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“Well it’s how they do things here.” Annie was sitting on the edge of her desk, legs dangling. I walked over parted her legs and embraced her. She looked up. “And, we’re getting married?” I asked. Her face went blank for an instant. “How awful am I? I was so happy, I wasn’t even thinking.” I froze for an instant. Her smile came back and her eyes began brimming with tears. “We are, we’re really getting married.” She brought my face to hers and she kissed me forcefully. I was already standing between her legs. She wrapped them around my waist and tightened, pulling me in. “And you are so getting nailed tonight,” she said. I started to close my eyes to kiss again when someone cleared their throat behind us. We jumped up like two kids caught in a closet at the prom. Mrs. Null was standing in the doorway. Annie was right, she was large and in charge. She was a big lady and her chest was even bigger. She wore a blue print dress, sensible shoes and the expression of a happy prison guard. Annie spoke first. “This is Mr. Finn,” she said. “We’re getting married,” I said weakly. “I see,” she said. She glanced at Annie’s ringless finger. “I’m glad to see you haven’t left yet, Miss Spencer,” she said. I reached in, I had to. This was too important for us. She liked Annie a lot, almost like a daughter. But I was a different story. She didn’t care for me or my kind, whatever I am, and she thought I could ruin Annie. Ten seconds and she was already protective. I wish we had taken off the minute Annie came out of the school. “The staff here think of ourselves as family, so before you get the brunt of meeting everyone at once, we would like for you to come to dinner tonight. Mr. Finn, you are of course invited since you are going to be part of our family also.” 163


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“Well, we were going back home tonight…” Annie started, but I interrupted. “We’d love to.” I said. “If that’s okay with you.” “Well, all right,” she said. “Good,” Mrs. Null said. “I’ll write out some directions.”

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41 We had three hours to kill. There wasn’t a mall to go to, or a movie theater that we knew of. So we went to the Workingman’s Store. We walked around for several minutes until Annie came to the conclusion that wearing the same thing to dinner as she had worn to the interview might make her a lesser candidate of the teaching job. I asked her why and she said it might make her seem unprepared for the unexpected. I didn’t know how to respond to that but I will say that watching her shop for men’s clothing was kind of erotic for me. The guy at the counter must have felt the same way because he did not take his eyes off her the entire time we were there. He literally tripped over his own feet when Annie asked if there was a fitting room she might use. I will never fail to be impressed by her ingenuity. She found a pair of lightweight painter’s pants and a chambray shirt that fit her perfectly. She also found a package of boxers, white, nothing too fancy here, a tee shirt that advertised a tool brand for me, and flip-flops for her. The boxers were on clearance, she never passed up a clearance table. She put her clothes in the bag and wore the new clothes out of the dressing room. “I didn’t think you would want to stay and eat with them,” she said as we got back in the car. “No, I really didn’t want to, but I got the feeling she was not as taken with me as she is with you.” She gave me a disapproving look. “I know,” I said. “But this is important. I don’t want to mess this up for you.” 165


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“What’s that have to do with reading her mind?” “I’m going to sway her, tonight. I’m going to make her like us as a couple as well as she likes you. Just tonight. I promise.” She gave me the look again then settled into her seat. “Let’s drive around.” “Where?” I asked. “I don’t know, let’s go into town then pick a side street and drive down it,” she said. Then in a deep voice she said, “Randomly.” I don’t know why that was funny, but it was. We giggled all the way back into town. And that’s what we did. We drove to the edge of town, took a right and followed the road until it looked like it was going nowhere. Then we would back track, get back into town and follow the same road in the opposite direction. We started to realize this wasn’t as small of a town as we had thought, at least in area. They were just spread out. We could drive for a couple of miles and not see a house then come across several clustered together. Several of the neighborhoods seemed fairly affluent, most were average but nicely kept, and some were farms. We didn’t see anything you could call poor. Middle America. The thing that impressed both of us was every one we saw waved. Like we were supposed to be there and we were supposed to wave back. It felt good. It felt good until I realized there was a buzzard circling. Not a literal buzzard, but one driving a police car trying not to be seen. Warren stayed back a ways, sometimes on a parallel street, sometimes zigzagging a block or two behind us. I didn’t mention it to Annie, she was in too good of a mood. I didn’t speed and completely stopped at all the stop signs, something I’ll have to admit is not in my nature. But it was Annie’s car and I wasn’t sure about the registration sticker. I didn’t want to get stopped for something dumb, like a burned out brake light, so I suggested we stop at the park we had seen on the way in. I parked under an old shade tree and we spent the next two hours holding hands and walking around reading the plaques on 166


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the monuments and gardens. Apparently they had a very active garden club because there were a lot of well-marked beds and trees. The Historical Society had done a nice job also. There were monuments commemorating things in the community for the past two hundred years. We learned a great deal about our increasingly apparent new home. We found a very comfortable bench, which had been made out of thousands of water bottles, and settled down to rest before the drive to Mrs. Null’s house. “Okay. How are we going to get married?” I said. “What do you mean, how?” “We’re not doing the church thing? Are we?” I said. “I’d like to promise to each other in front of God,” she said. “I’ll make a promise to wherever you like, but church things take planning and time.” “What were you thinking? Not on a roller coaster or at a ballgame I hope,” she said. “I think Alice Cooper is touring, maybe he’d let us…” “No, absolutely not. I can’t believe,” then she stopped when she saw that I was smiling. She slapped me on the arm. “Seriously,” she said. “What about a cruise, we get the Captain to marry us. Just the two of us.” While Annie stopped to think about this, I noticed two girls down the path. They were teenagers, pretty, one in jean cut offs and the other in white shorts. Both wearing halters. One was taking a picture of the other with her phone, but the angle was wrong. It seemed more likely that photo was taken over the girl’s shoulder with Annie and I as the target. “That sounds alright, but what if I get sea sick? What if the boat is full of obnoxious people?” she said. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw a teenage girl take a portrait of a friend. It’s always a selfie with a friend, but not this time. “I’m not saying I’ve been seasick before, but that would ruin everything.”

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The girls started walking toward us wearing goofy looking smiles and giggling. “I think you’re about to have your second interview of the day,” I said. The girls stopped in front of us. They looked down at us and we looked up at them. I put my arm across the back of the bench, behind Annie. They giggled. “Excuse us, but we were wondering, are you the new English teacher?” They both looked at me. I pointed at Annie with my free hand. One of them let out a discouraged, “Oh.” Annie smiled. We sat and they stood in silence. I gave them my winning smile. Annie finally said, “Why did you think it was him?” “We were hoping,” one of them started, but the other one interjected, “We were thinking it might be one of you two because we knew Mrs. Proctor retired and you aren’t from around here.” “Yeah, no one new ever comes here,” said the jean cutoffs. “You’ll be okay I guess,” said white shorts. “Better than Mrs. Proctor.” “Just okay?” Annie said. “Better than Mrs. Proctor,” I said. “What do you do?” asked cutoffs. “I’m a teacher,” I said. They both brightened, “Here? At Quiet Dell?” “Nope,” I said. “Why not?” “No job openings, I’d have to kill somebody.” They both giggled. “I’ll make you a list,” cutoffs said. We all laughed at that. “So you two married or what?” Shorts asked. “Nope,” I said.

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Annie slapped my knee. This was beginning to be a trend with her. “We’re engaged,” she said. They both looked at her finger. “Yeah, right.” Cutoffs said. “Do you know Warren?” I asked. “No, who’s Warren?” Shorts said. “He’s a cop we ran into this morning.” “Oh, that Warren,” said Shorts. “He’s a perv,” said Cutoffs. “Warmin’ Warren.” “Ok,” Annie said like that’s enough of this. “We had better get going or we’ll be late for dinner.” We stood. “So, what’s your name?” Shorts said. “I’ll be Mrs. Finn by the time school starts.” “So that makes you Mr. Finn?” Cutoffs said. “Just Finn,” I said. “That’s cool,” said Cutoffs. “Maybe you could tutor us?” “Bye,” Annie said and put her arm in mine. She pulled me down the path. Once we were in the car and on the road Annie said, “Well, those two were rather smitten with you.” “Smitten?” I said. “They liked you.” “What’s not to like?” I said. I looked in the rear view mirror. What an absolutely whacked out world this was. Here I am in my Tools tee shirt and Annie in her painters pants driving to dinner at a place I’d never been, being followed Warmin’ Warren in a police car.

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42 Warren followed at a distance as we headed west down a two lane road. The countryside was postcard-like with gently rolling hills and the greens of summer. We rounded a turn as the road cut through a sea of corn. A Mail Pouch Tobacco barn came into view. It was perfect against the blue sky. The turn off to Mrs. Null’s driveway was a half a mile farther down the road. An old tin mailbox had been hammered into a post there. Null had been stenciled on the side. I expected a dirt road, but it was blacktop and well kept. Wildflowers grew on both sides. The house couldn’t be seen from the road so we followed the road as it wound its way back into the woods. I was beginning to wonder if we had taken a wrong turn somewhere when the house and a huge barn came into view. The barn was the same red as the barn we had seen from the road. Either that was the trendy color for barns or the Nulls’ owned that one as well. The house was a completely square two story with the kind of roof that has the apex in the center and four triangles of roofing coming down each side. There was a wraparound porch that looked like it continued completely around the building. The house and railing were brilliant white, the roof black and the front door was the same color as the barn. It was partially open and there was a screen door painted the same color. The whole house was sort of raised, so from our perspective we were looking up at a massive building. As we got closer I could see a figure sitting on the front porch slumped in the chair, his feet crossed, up on the railing. 170


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It was none other than the entertaining and articulate Cleatus. I waved before we came to a complete stop. He stood and slipped something into his pocket. I’d like to think I saw a tiny nod in my direction. The driveway circled back around on itself, so I went a little ways past the house and parked, just in case there were other guests. “Are you ready for this?” Annie said. “Heck yeah,” I said and got out of the car. “Cleatus!” I yelled. “How you doin?” Annie looked at me dumbfounded. We walked up the front steps, which were three big slabs of some kind of strong looking rock. “Hey, good to see you again,” I said and stuck out my hand. “This is Annie.” He rose slowly from his seat shook my hand and then took Annie’s. “Ma’am,” he said. Mrs. Null’s ample figure appeared on the other side of the screen door. She was wearing an apron over the same dress she had worn earlier. “I thought I heard you pull up. Is Cleatus out here talking you ear off?” “We just met,” Annie said. “He likes to come out here and whittle. For the life of me I can’t figure out what’s enjoyable about that,” she said. “He says it gives him time to think about things. I don’t really understand it.” Cleatus said nothing. He reached for a broom I hadn’t noticed before and swept a pile of curled up wood shavings off the porch, then sat back in his chair. Beside his chair was a wood holder, like the ones you see by a fireplace. He selected a piece of wood, reached into the pocket of his jeans, and produced a dangerous looking knife. The blade was a honed five inches long and unfolded neatly from a wooden handle

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“Supper’s just about ready. Annie why don’t you come in here and help me set the table and let the men whittle.” She held open the screen door. Annie gave me a half smile and vanished through the door. I looked down at Cleatus and he looked up at me. “Pull up a chair,” he said finally. I looked around. The only chair I could see was an Adirondack at the far corner of the porch. Made out of small logs. It looked like it weighed about three hundred pounds. The floorboards of the porch were wooden and painted a charcoal gray. I was sure that dragging the chair would leave marks. I counted the steps to the chair. Seven. I was sure I could carry it seven steps. I’d just muscle it. Seven steps. I tried to pick it up by the arms. It was heavy and cumbersome. Cleatus didn’t offer any help. I tried to pick up several ways that were unsuccessful. Finally I got behind it, held it by the arms and lifted. The chair back jammed into my lower stomach painfully, but that was the only way I could balance the thing on the narrow porch. At about step five, I lost control and it slammed into the porch rail knocking out a chunk of wood about the size of my fingertip. I didn’t drop it though. Cleatus watched me halfamused. I kind of got the feeling I had passed some kind of test. It felt great once I settled in it. The wood bowed to fit the body right where it needed support. An artisan had crafted this chair with skill and time. “This chair feels great,” I said. “Yep,” he said and kept whittling. “You build it?” I asked. “Nope,” he said. “Buy it?” “Nope,” he said. “How’d you get it then?” He stopped whittling. “Passed down through the family. That chair is about a hundred and twenty five years old.” He gave it a quick look then went back to whittling. “Weathered pretty well for a century. Wasn’t sure how it was going to fare 172


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the last couple of minutes though, with you wrestling it down the porch.” He chuckled to himself. We sat in silence. The view was beautiful from the porch. The road twisted away into the shadows of the trees. The last few rays of light shafted through in some places throwing a surreal blanket over the property. I heard a cricket chirp somewhere over the edge of the porch and then a peep of a frog off to our right. Dusk came quickly out in the woods. There was movement in the house and Mrs. Null materialized behind the screen door. She was quiet for such a big woman. Probably from all the years of moving around a school with creaking floors and squeaky doors, sneaking up on smokers in the parking lot or smoochers at a dance. “Supper’s ready,” she said. She disappeared as stealthily as she came. Cleatus stood and I stood. He held the door open. I walked in. “Just follow your nose,” he said. “Smells great,” I said. “Yep,” he said. “Something you kill?” I said. “Could be,” he said. We were getting along great, two peas in a pod. The dining room had blue wallpapered walls and a turn of the century light fixture over the center of the table. The table itself looked a little small for the room. I figured it was one of those kind that has leaves that can be added for more than four people. There were only four chairs though, so I might have been wrong about that. The dining room opened up into the kitchen so I could see the amount of work that had been put into this meal. There were pans, and pots, and cooking stuff everywhere. Annie was standing there in the middle of the mess looking a bit out of her element. The inside of the house was warmer than it was

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outside and the kitchen was hotter than the rest of the house. I could see Annie’s shirt beginning to stick to her. “Cleatus, open that window, let’s get some air moving through here Mrs. Null said. “These two are probably used to air conditioning.” Cleatus did as he was told. There were two windows with blue flowered curtains. He opened both of them. The plates and dishes all matched; white with yellow trim. They weren’t china but weren’t used every day either. We had paper napkins. Several bowls of food were already on the table. There was a large bowl of mashed potatoes complete with a lake of melted butter in the center, green beans with bacon, ( I don’t know how these people live to see forty) a plate of fried green tomatoes, and homemade rolls. Mrs. Null bought in an immense platter of meat. We sat, Annie across from me and Mrs. Null across from Cleatus. “So,” Mrs. Null said as she dipped green beans out of the bowl onto her plate. “You two are going to get married?” She passed the beans to me. Annie condensed our entire relationship down to a twentysecond blurb and explained how we were waiting for one of us to get a job. We didn’t want to depend on substituting as our only means of income. “And she didn’t want me playing poker for a living,” I said. She kicked me under the table. “I think that’s wonderful, “Mrs. Null said. “Don’t you think so Cleatus?” “Yep, wonderful,” Cleatus said as he spooned out the mashed potatoes. “How long have you two been married?” Annie asked. “Going on thirty five years,” Mrs. Null said. Cleatus forked a considerable slab of meat onto his plate. “Any children?” Annie asked. “Three. All grown and moved away. Six grand babies too,” Mrs. Null said. “Got any advice for us, Cleatus?” I said. “Oh no,” Mrs. Null said. 174


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Cleatus was between bites. “Communication,” he said. “I’ve read that it’s very important in a relationship,” Annie said. “Yep, it’s important not to do it.” “Not to communicate?” Annie asked. Mrs. Null asked, “Would anyone like a roll?” This was getting fun. “People started getting divorced. The shrinks wanted everybody to communicate more, so they did. The divorce rate went higher. They’re still telling people to communicate, half the marriages are failing. I say stop talking.” He cut a fried green tomato into halves. “And why do you think that is?” I asked. Annie gave me a look. “People are getting a better look at their spouses and not liking what they see,” he said. That made sense to me. “Plus,” he said, chewing. “Difference between men and women. Women come home and want to talk about the people at their jobs. So and so’s friend did this or that. Men come home and want to talk about their job, the work they do. Most men don’t even know the names of some of the people they work with. They’ll say, you know that guy that works in shipping or the woman at the front desk.” He searched the table for something else to eat. “Men don’t care what women are talking about and women don’t care what men are talking about. So, I say, just stop talking.” These were the most sentences Cleatus had strung together since I met him. “But what’s the use of having a spouse if you don’t talk to them?” Annie asked. “Because you love them,” he said. “I don’t understand,” Annie said. “Think back when you first met the person you’re in love with. At first it was magical and kind of a mystery. Everything

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was new and exciting. You didn’t know everything about them. Part of the fun was learning about them.” “So what do you do?” Annie asked. “You have to find a way to keep the love and mystery alive. Ain’t that right, honey?” he smiled and winked at Mrs. Null. “Yep,” she said and winked back. Mrs. Null went to the kitchen and returned with a cherry pie; ice cream on top for me, plain for Annie, and cheese on top for Cleatus. The subject of Kevin and the bombs came up. Mrs. Null explained to Cleatus how her friend, the principal who had referred Annie, told her about the student and how Annie had possibly saved hundreds of lives. Cleatus nodded and continued eating his pie, apparently surpassing his quota of words for the day and receding back into his shell. “You were at the school at the same time, weren’t you, Mr. Finn,” Mrs. Null asked. I felt the conversation changing. “Yes Ma’am,” I said. “Why weren’t you on the news with Miss Spencer?” “I was just a student teacher and not real creditable. We talked about it and decided Annie was the believable person.” While she was mulling this over I decided to redirect. “Do you know a cop named Warren?” I asked. “Yes, I know Warren,” Mrs. Null said. “Had him in school.” “Warren’s a bad seed, stay away from him,” Cleatus said. “Too late,” I said. “Cleatus has never been a fan of Warren,” Mrs. Null said. “Why?” “We kind of had a run in with him today,” Annie said and explained the whole thing, including the fact that he had followed us. I hadn’t realized she had noticed. “He’s no good, shouldn’t be on the police force,” Cleatus said. “I’ll call Tom,” Mrs. Null said. “He should know about this.” “Who’s Tom?” I said. “Chief of Police,” Cleatus said. 176


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“Had him in school too,” Mrs. Null said. I made sure I was the one to clear the table and rinse the dishes while Mrs. Null called Tom. I could hear her in the other room on the phone but couldn’t tell what she was saying. I could tell she had gone back into her principal mode, using a stern voice. On her way to the phone she passed through the kitchen she turned on the burner for the coffeepot. It started to whistle. “Taken care of,” she said as she reentered the kitchen. “Who wants coffee?” We all did so she suggested we have it on the porch, the back porch. Relieved I wasn’t going to have to lug two more chairs to the front I happily agreed. We each carried our cups to a much grander porch than on the front of the house. There was patio furniture and a homemade fire pit. The chairs were recliners, the kind you almost lay down in. A cleared area the size of two tennis courts was adjacent to the porch. Then the openness gave way to heavy woods. The sky loomed above us. “Wow look at the stars,” I said. We sat in our recliners and looked up at the sky. “Only two kinds of people,” Cleatus said. “People who look at the stars, and those who don’t.” “Annie has this place that is on the side of a mountain. We look at the stars there,” I said. He looked at Annie and said, “Maybe you and Mr. Ramones have a chance after all.” Everyone laughed except Cleatus, he was completely serious. “Have you given any thought to where you might live?” Mr. Null asked. Annie and I looked at each other. We hadn’t. I think Mrs. Null had expected this because without a hitch she said, “I’ll call Terri in the morning.” “Who’s Terri?” I asked. “Terri is Lee’s wife. Lee is Tom’s son. Lee is a policeman too. I had Lee and Teri in school.” She took a sip of coffee.

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“Oh, I forgot, Terri is a real estate agent, that’s why I’ll call her. She’ll see what’s available in town.” “Thank you,” Annie said. We sat for a little longer, relaxed and quiet. I felt at peace. Then Annie said, “We better be leaving. It’s a four hour drive back home. Cleatus looked up and Mrs. Null looked shocked. “You’re driving back tonight?” she said. I played the modest husband to be, “We don’t have the money for gas and two hotel rooms, so we will make the best of it, no big deal.” “I expect the news of a young new teacher will spread pretty fast. We wouldn’t want rumors starting of you two in a hotel room.” “So, we will just make the drive and ….” Mrs. Null cut me off. “We have three extra bedrooms upstairs, you can have two of them,” she said. I hadn’t seen this coming. I saw a sparkle in Annie’s eyes. She enjoyed seeing me with my foot in my mouth. She crossed her arms with her superior expression. “Oh no, we couldn’t impose,” I said. “Two rooms,” Cleatus said. “I’ll just run up and tidy a bit,” Mrs. Null said. “Put them in Sean and Sarah’s rooms,” Cleatus said. “Just what I was thinking,” Mrs. Null said from inside the house. Cleatus sipped his coffee. He seemed to have a superior tilt to his head also. “Funny thing about that upstairs floor,” he said. “Boards squeak something awful. Wakes me up anytime somebody steps on the wrong place.” He gave me a sideways glance. “Yep, really bad in front of the room Miss Spencer is staying in. Must be the way the sound travels, it’s an old house.” I got the point. This wasn’t going to be the Memory Motel. But on the bright side, I couldn’t wait to see what breakfast was going to be. 178


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Mrs. Null was back in no time and full of instructions. “You two can stay out here as long as you like, just lock the door on the inside when you come in. I’ve laid out something for each of you to sleep in. They are not new but they are clean. We have sample toothbrushes and paste from the Dentist Group in town. I bring some home from school for neighbor kids in the summer.” “That’s really nice of you,” Annie said. “We don’t want to put you out, though.” “No, no, it’s no bother at all. But we do get up early. I’ll knock on your door if you aren’t up by the time we leave. I get to school around seven. Cleatus usually drops me off then does chores at some of our other properties.” “That is very nice of you,” I said. Cleatus got up, “No sense driving home with Warren roving around, up to no good.” He looked at me. “Stay away from him.” “I’ll do my best,” I said. “See that you do,” he said and nodded good night to Annie. Once they were gone Annie said, “Can you believe we forgot about a place to live? What else have we forgotten?” “Probably a bunch of things,” I said. I tried to get her to come and sit in my chair with me, but that was a no go. We spent the next twenty minutes holding hands from chair to chair and talking about the things we were going to have to do to prepare for the move. That was on top of a wedding. I could feel her hand begin to sweat. “What are we going to do? We don’t have money for a house.” She was starting to get tense about everything. I gave her my best Godfather. “Hey, don’t worry about nothin’,” I said. I touched my fingertips to my lips. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.” She was irritated, then amused. “Nothing, don’t worry about nothing?” She launched herself out of her chair and straddled me, clasping my wrists together over my head against the back of the chair. She put her forehead against mine and began to grind her hips into my lap. 179


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“Remember when we were on my desk today?” she whispered, still grinding. “Yeah,” I breathed. “And remember I said you were going to get so nailed?” “Yeah,” I breathed again. “Don’t worry ‘bout it,” she said mimicking my Mafia and jumped up and ran for the door. “Don’t forget to lock this when you come in.” She smiled and glided away. My room matched the rest of the house, quaint but used. A set of light blue pajamas was laid on the bed. I don’t know the last time I had pajamas on but it was probably when my age was in single digits. Unless pajama styles didn’t change, these were probably from the same era. I’m basically a boxer sleep kind of guy, but I decided what the heck, when in Rome. The clock said 10:32, a bit before my bedtime, especially in the summer. I looked around for something to read for the second time on this trip. Nothing, not even a Farm and Garden report. There wasn’t a TV, hadn’t seen one in the house. Probably no cable out here and I didn’t remember seeing any kind of dish. I sat on the bed for another fifteen minutes and decided it was time to visit Annie. I opened my door a sliver and looked out. A dim night light made a weak attempt at illuminating the hallway. The coast was clear. Cleatus and Mrs. Null had been in their room for a good half hour and I couldn’t see any light coming from under their door. I moved carefully and slowly like Poe’s character in the Tell Tale Heart. This was fun in a juvenile ninja way. I was moving about three feet per minute. I calculated I would get to Annie’s room just before midnight at this rate. Her door was at the opposite end of the hall and looked a long way away. My patience grew thin and I picked up the pace. When I was about half way, right in front of the Nulls’ door. I stepped on a board that gave the tiniest creak. The door flew open almost instantly and there was Cleatus in identical

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pajamas. Neither of us spoke. I know I had a stupid grin on my face but I couldn’t stop. His expression didn’t change. Finally he said, “Something wrong Mr. Ramones?” “No, everything’s great,” He looked at me flatly. “I was just going to tell Annie good night,” I said. He stood motionless for the longest time. “It will just take a minute,” I said. “See that it does,” he said and closed the door. “Clocks ticking,” he said from the other side. Annie’s door opened a crack and she stuck her head out. “What are you doing?” she whispered. I exaggerated a tiptoe walk to her door. “I came to give you a goodnight kiss and I won’t take nooo for an answer.” She giggled and opened the door for me. Then it was my turn to giggle. She was wearing a long gray nightgown, the kind that had a high lacy collar and long sleeves. It fit her like a sack. I closed the door behind me. “You’re going to get me fired before I even get started,” she said. “Nice night gown,” I said. “You have to go,” she said. “Relax, I will. I just wanted to say good night.” “Ok, good night, now go.” I touched my finger to her lips. “You haven’t given me a kiss yet.” “Come here,” she said, exasperated. It started out as a peck, but quickly turned into something much deeper. The frustrating part was that I couldn’t touch her skin anywhere with the stupid nightgown on. Not her neck, shoulders, back, arms, or waist. It felt weird to try. After a minute she pushed me away. “Goodnight,” she said. I was almost back to the door. “I’m hoping that’s not the kind of nightgown you are wearing on the honeymoon.” I had my hand on the doorknob when I noticed she had one of those looks on her face.

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“The good thing about this night gown is…” She reached down and grabbed the bottom of the gown and slowly swished it back and forth, raising it and exposing her long tanned legs. She kept going up and up past her thighs, then she dropped it. “The good thing is you don’t have to wear anything under it.” “Oh, man,” I said realizing I was sweating in my pajamas. “Good night Cleatus,” I said as I passed his door. “Night,” he said from the other side.

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43 I could hear birds singing outside before I opened my eyes. My first thought was of Annie in her Granny Clampet get up. I got up and got dressed in my auto parts outfit. The house was quiet except for the birds. I could see the driveway from my window, our car was parked where we had left it last night. I decided to venture out. The door to the Null’s bedroom was open and I peeked in. The bed was made and the room felt vacant. Annie’s door was closed. I decided not to knock in case she was asleep. I stuck my head in and saw her bed was made also, but I heard a shower come on in the adjacent bathroom. I slipped in, closed the door behind me and headed for the sound. The door to the bathroom was half-open, which I considered an invitation. The room was a little steamy, but I managed to see the nightgown folded on the vanity. The shower enclosure was at the opposite end of the room. The two sliding glass doors were either frosted by design or by the steam, but they did little to obscure the view. She was washing her hair, allowing the soapy water to sluice over her shoulders and back. I was getting very enthusiastic about my upcoming marriage. Then it hit me that she might think this was kind of creepy, which, enjoyable as it was, might be. I backed out slowly and made my way back to the bedroom. I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. I was hungry. Was it impolite to raid someone’s fridge after being invited to dinner? 183


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I felt myself beginning to doze off, which was strange since I’d just woken up. I saw Annie in the shower again but the steam was getting thicker and thicker. The details blurred and I could barely make out who she was. Then suddenly the shower head began spurting blood instead of water. She was still washing her hair with her eyes closed and the red soap bubbles were washing down her body. It splattered on the walls and on the shower doors and ran in jagged little paths toward the drain. The steam now had a pinkish cast. I tried to yell for her to turn off the water but she couldn’t hear me. The sound of the shower got louder and louder and she kept washing her hair with the blood. The shower stopped and I woke up. I think the shower really did stop because the next thing I heard was the shower door sliding with a thump. “Annie?” I called out. “Finn?” she called back. “I’m out here on the bed,” I said. A short minute later she popped out wrapped in a towel. “I didn’t realize you were up,” she said rubbing her hair with another towel. “I watched you in the shower for a minute, then it felt like a violation, so I left.” She thought about that still rubbing her hair. “Was that creepy?” I asked. She thought some more. “No, I guess I would have been more upset if you didn’t want to watch.” I don’t think I could have loved her any more at that moment. “Just let me know, it might make me feel weird if I didn’t know.” I didn’t say anything about the bloody shower. I wanted to, but the wedding seemed so close now, I wasn’t going to reveal anything that could change her mind. The lies were adding up. Not lies in the true sense, but… I was compiling quite a list of confessions I was going to have to make someday. “I talked to Mrs. Null before she left. She said to check the 184


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counter in the kitchen before we started back. I think she left something for us.” “Funny thing,” I said. “They wouldn’t let us near each other last night, but here we are unchaperoned in the morning.” “I can’t explain it,” Annie said absentmindedly. “Where are your pajamas?” “In my room. Why?” “I’m going to take them and launder them. I think that is the proper thing to do.” I retrieved the PJ’s and met Annie in the kitchen. Mrs. Null had prepared food for our trip back. There were peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies in Baggies and four bottles of coke in a cloth cooler. I kind of guessed these were not the kind of people who bought bottled water. There was also a surprise from Cleatus. “Mrs. Null thought he was a little hard on you last night. She convinced him he should give a peace offering.” Lying there beside the food was the knife Cleatus used for whittling. I was stunned. “Annie I can’t take this.” “You’d better, he left it for you.” “Knives like this, they mean something to these guys.” “All the more reason for you to take it, he wants you to have it.” I picked it up. It was heavier than I thought it would be. It felt good in my hands. I swung the blade out of the handle and felt it click into place. “Annie, I think he crafted this himself, at least the handle.” The wood was beautiful and smooth to the touch. “Take it,” she said. “It’s a gift.” I slid it into my pocket and we left. Things seemed pretty perfect to me. It was a picturesque summer morning, I had a beautiful woman who was soon to be my wife beside me, and a big knife in my pocket. If we had my car I would have felt like James Dean. I didn’t think anything could ruin the day. 185


44 As soon as we turned onto the main road I saw blue lights flashing in my mirror. My first thought was to step on the gas and outrun him. THAT would have been fun. But I didn’t have my car and it would have been stupid. Stupid but fun. Annie looked stricken. I’m not sure if she was more scared of Warren or more frightened that I was going to act badly. “Hey, don’t worry about nothin’,” I said. I pulled to the dirt on the side of the road and turned off the ignition. Warren got out of his car slowly and strutted to my window, which I had rolled down before he left his vehicle. “You know you could pull that John Wayne walk off better it you had a pair of mirrored sunglasses.” I heard Annie moan beside me. He stiffened at that and leaned in close to the window. “You don’t know when to keep your mouth shut, do you?” I fake zipped my lip and tossed the key out the window. “License, registration, and proof of insurance,” he said. I shook my head. “What does that mean?” he said. “License, registration, and proof of insurance! “Nope,” I said. “Out of the car! Hands on the roof!” “Nay Nay,” I said. Annie was slapping my shoulder. He tried to pull open the door but I had already locked it. “Warren, listen,” I said. “You pulled me over illegally. I don’t have a taillight out, the sticker is current, and I wasn’t 186


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speeding. You had no reason to stop us.” I didn’t mention the possible deadly weapon in my pocket. “So, why don’t you tiptoe back to your car and leave us alone. There will be plenty of time to harass us when we move here.” He took a step back from the car and glared. “Pretty soon our taxes will be funding your paycheck,” I said. He looked like he was getting ready to blow and Cleatus’s warning came to mind. Stay away from him. My cell phone was in the console. I picked it up and aimed it at Warren. “Officer, is there anything you would like to say to the camera?” I held it with my left hand, barely out the window and with my right hand I turned the ignition and put the car in gear. We scooted back onto the road with Warren still on my screen, his hands on his hips. I was smiling when I looked over at Annie. She was not. “What was I supposed to do?” I said. “I didn’t start this one.” “You could have just given him your license and cooperated.” “He wasn’t going to let me cooperate. He just wanted to screw with us. We don’t know how crazy he could be. He could have planted something on us and called in a drug dog.” Annie didn’t say anything, she looked out the window and watched the scenery pass by. We drove for a couple of minutes and came to the barn with the painted Mail Pouch sign across one wall. The field and the barn were as picturesque in the morning light as they had been in the early evening. “Wait! Stop!” Annie said. I checked the rear view mirror and stopped, right there in the road. “What?” I said. “Back up, pull over. I want to see something.”I did as she asked and pulled the car off to the side of the road. She had

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spotted something out her window that apparently I couldn’t see out of mine. I turned the car off and she got out. The land along the right side of the road began a long gradual slope for about the first forty yards, then the tree line began and the slope became steeper and remained that way for several hundred yards. About half way up was a flattened area on which sat a decaying old farmhouse. The windows were boarded and a gutter had fallen and hung diagonal across the front. What we could see from that distance was not encouraging. “Is that what you’re looking at? The house?” I asked. “We need a house, don’t we? Doesn’t look like there is anybody living there,” she said. “Nobody that is supposed to be. Maybe vagrants, probably varmints. Annie that place is boarded up, it’s practically falling off the hillside.” “Can you picture what the view would look like from up there?” she said undeterred. I looked up and down the road. If we stayed here it was inevitable that we would run into Warren again. The breeze blew a plastic wrapper across the pavement and into a clump of weeds sprouting from the dust. It was quiet here, but not the relaxing kind of quiet. It was the quiet of a field where a body is found, desolate and forbidding. “Should I call Mrs. Null to see if her realtor knows anything about it?” “I wonder why we didn’t see it on our way in?” I said. Maybe it was the angle of the turn, maybe it was something else. Strange, I had been seeing things that weren’t there, now I’m not seeing things that are. “I’m going to call,” she said. “Probably won’t come to anything, but it never hurts to ask.” “Yes it does,” I said to myself. “Sometimes asking is the worst possible thing a person could do.” A shadow passed over the road, then the roof of the car. It was a solitary buzzard surfing the thermals looking for something dead. It floated in long ellipses without moving a feather. 188


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“Do you not want me to call?” Annie said. “Go ahead, it doesn’t hurt to ask,” I heard myself saying, still watching the buzzard. She smiled. That was all it took. My negativity flew out the window and suddenly I could see us living there. It would be perfect for us. We weren’t going to be able to buy any decent house on her salary as a first year teacher and the deal with my building was anything but certain. I didn’t have a job, but I did have some experience fixing up buildings. In the blink of an eye, things fell into place. I should have known it was too perfect.

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45 Of course Mrs. Null knew the answers. She knew the couple who had lived in the house and owned the land, and there was a lot of land. The property consisted of the house, the hillside and about a hundred acres on the other side of the hill. The Jackson’s were deceased, Mr. Jackson having passed in the nineties and Mrs. Jackson fifteen years later. They had one daughter, Rosealee, who tore out of Quiet Dell as soon as she was eighteen and had enough money. Mrs. Null had had her in school. Big surprise. She went on to say, if we wished, she would let the real estate agent know we were interested. They had ways of tracking people down who owned property and the real estate agent was pretty sharp according to Mrs. Null. I guess you would have to be in an area like this. “Go ahead and drive up if the road is not too bad,” she said. “See if the house is something you are going to want to tackle.” She gave us directions, which were simple because the turn off was only a few hundred feet ahead. I did remember seeing it before but didn’t realize it was a driveway. It was rutted with a swath of grass in the middle and disappeared into scrub bushes as high as a house. The hard road vanished behind us as we melted into the landscape. “Warren is not going to find us in here,” Annie said. She laughed a little nervously. The bushes became more unruly the farther we went, causing the road to become more of a double path. It wasn’t 190


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as rough as I thought it would be. Somebody had been up here fairly often since the spring, maybe high school kids, partying and doing whatever it was that needed to be done in private. The road leveled off and we pulled into the area behind the house. A dilapidated, two-car garage stood off to one side and another building, in about the same condition, flanked the other side. This building was too small to be a barn, but big enough to house farm equipment. The doors were big, like they would need to roll on casters to swing open. The ground here had been bricked, so the house, shed and other building had a court yard effect. But the wind had gathered and deposited leaves in nooks and corners where they rotted and there were hundreds of things growing between the brick. The buildings were painted the same shade of white and had begun flaking and peeling in some of the less protected areas. So far I could see nothing a little raking, weed killer, and paint couldn’t fix. Actually the driveway was not half as bad as I expected either. Once the tall grass was cut and a little grading done it might be as picturesque up close as it was from the highway. “What do you think?” I said. “I can’t wait to see inside,” she said. “Don’t care much for that high grass though. Kind of claustrophobic. We’d have to get a big mower.” “Probably have to get goats,” I said. We got out of the car. I tried the back door, it was locked, so we peeked in. The kitchen was the first room in the back. It looked a little small and way outdated. A realtor might call it quaint, but it was really just old and worn. Fluorescent lights hung from the ceiling and the appliances were an avocado green. There was a yellowed linoleum floor that had a few tears from years of use. Past that we could see part of the front room. Thin lines of light sneaked around the boarded up windows, casting shafts and playing off the dust. That was about all we could see from the back door. There was one more window just to our right that had no boards. We found it to be a formal dining room, just off the 191


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kitchen. A table that seated eight was in the center of the room, directly beneath an extremely unsightly chandelier. The wallpaper was peeling and was as appalling as the light fixture. We walked around to the front of the house. The flattened part of the hillside extended only a few feet beyond the edge of the porch. The porch itself looked like it needed to be removed and rebuilt, but the view was remarkable. The highway below us wrapped around the side of the hill like a moat around a castle. Beyond the highway was the red barn and beyond that was the faint blue image of distant mountains. How far could we see? I wasn’t sure, but the mountains were just a ghost image. Ten miles? Fifty miles? I don’t know, it was a long way. And that was only in one direction. The way the house was situated on the hill allowed for panoramic views of the east west and south. Annie came closer and slid her arm behind my back. A songbird whistled out its tune behind us. “How would you like to watch sunsets from here every night?” Annie said. She said it softly which seemed appropriate for up here. “We’d have to have an engineer look at it before we did anything,” I said and slipped my arm around her waist. “It could be sliding off the hill for all we know.” “So you like it?” She was bubbling over. “Yes I like it, but...” “But what?” “Let’s not get too excited. There are a lot of variables,” I said. “So we tell the realtor to look into it for us?” “I think that would be prudent, don’t you?” Annie grabbed me and kissed me hard. Then she released me as if a more urgent thought crossed her mind. She called Mrs. Null and asked her to activate the realtor. “Let’s get going,” she said. “We have a lot of things to do.”I was thinking the same thing, it was a long way home and I still hadn’t properly proposed, sold my house, or planned the wedding. 192


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I thought about trying the front door before we left, but with the shape the porch was in, I decided it was not worth the risk. “Things are really looking up for us, aren’t they?” Annie said. She took both my hands and faced me. “I mean, really. It’s not just me being naive and in love, is it?” The words ‘In love’ still made my heart race. Whenever she said it I felt as if the sun broke through the clouds. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been,” I said. She pulled me close and snuggled her face into my tool tee shirt. I knew then that I’d never tell her about my visions. I’d not ruin her happiness, even if it happened again. It was my burden to bare. We started back around the house to the car when Annie said, “Out here all alone, with the moonlight and this view. Could lead to some serious front porch romance.” “Why Miss Spencer, the thought hadn’t crossed my mind,” I said in mock disbelief. Charlie June 2001 He was driving through Marion County, WV after stalking some of the bars in the more rural areas. Pickings had been thin and the noise kept grinding louder and louder. It was late, all the night spots were closing. Charlie even kept an eye out for employees, even though that was kind of breaking his pattern of abduction with an open ended time frame for the disappearance. No opportunities materialized. He would have to pack it in and bear the noise for another day. As he was pondering this the van rounded a turn and entered a straight stretch where a car was pulled off with the flashers blinking. His first thought was the police had caught up with him even though he had done nothing wrong tonight. As he approached he could see it wasn’t a police car, it was an old junker that looked like it had just died there on the berm. And there stepping into his head light beam was a young woman wearing a halter top and cutoff jeans. She was waving him down.

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The straight stretch was a long one, especially for West Virginia. Both sides of the two lane were dense with trees and there were no headlights in either direction. This might be the time to get a live one to take back. He passed the car and pulled off a few feet in front. He rolled down the window and let her come to him. He watched her approach in the rear view mirror; tinted red by his taillights. She walked to the window without hesitation, her blond hair swinging with each stride. “The car’s a piece of crap,” she said as she leaned in. “Can you give me a lift to a friend’s house.” She was pretty but a tinge rough looking. The halter looked trashy and her cutoffs were way short. Charlie said nothing. He looked her over. “And don’t get any ideas. I’ve about had it with men tonight.” He didn’t know what to say, this was the first one that had ever talked to him. Her voice gave him a warm feeling, soothing. He could picture himself running his fingers through her hair and brushing his thumb across the back of her neck. He couldn’t wait to kill her. “Yeah, Okay,” he mumbled. Her eyes were a bit glassy and she was kind of twitching. Something was wrong. “We going or not?” “Yeah,” Charlie said. “I gotta turn off the flashers, but I ain’t locking it. I hope somebody steals it. But they ain’t cause it don’t run.” She went back to the car. Charlie got out of the van and opened both of the back doors. He waited there. He got a better look at her legs as she came back. One knee had a maroon smear of blood that trickled down her shin. Charlie stared at it like a shark smells blood in the water. She looked down and noticed it for the first time. She tried to rub it off with her hand.

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“That from my boyfriend. His idea of a big night is to get drunk and have sex. From my point of view that’s not much of a night.” Charlie stood behind the van and listened. Not as much to her story as the whirring sound that was blotting out everything else. “So he’s dogging me all night and I finally got fed up and smacked him with a hammer. Right on the side of his head. Really nailed him.” She thought for a moment and started to giggle. “Nailed him, get it, I nailed him with a hammer.” Charlie’s left hand shot out and grabbed her by the neck. Her eyes got big and she tried to scream. There was no one around to hear. He flipped her around and straddled her so that her back was pinned against the bumper and her heels were digging into the berm. He locked his ankles and squeezed, compressing her ribs. Now, controlling her with his legs, he took a roll of duct tape from a hook inside the van and quickly rapped it around her head and mouth. Then he lifted her under the arms and set her in the van. In one motion he tapped round and round her ankles. She kept trying to sit up and he kept shoving her down. In the struggle her halter came untied and flapped around. Charlie could have cared less. He crawled into the van, grabbed the top of her cutoffs, and hauled her the rest of the way in. He straddled her again and easily pinned her hands into the clamps. The cover to the false bottom was hinged to the side wall of the van. Charlie released the holder and the panel slammed down, concealing his catch for the night. He resumed his place in the front seat and headed for the interstate. The deserted car disappeared in the rear view mirror as the darkness swallowed it. There was a soft bang in the back. Then another. She was hitting her head on the cover of the false bottom. It was loud enough that a cop could hear if he was stopped. This was something he would have to correct in the future. Maybe she would bust her forehead on the cover and leave a spot. Then he could bulls eye where to attach a pad. Two 195


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firsts in a night. Actually talking to one before hand and a live catch. Excellent. He shoved in the cassette. Cashmere blasted through the newly beefed up sound system. Things were glowing in Charlieland. His happiness lasted only a couple of hours. As soon as the music started the sound of the banging was covered. Charlie had forgotten all about it until he lowered the volume near Vulture Bend. Complete silence from the back she was too quiet to be alive. The noises in his head had lowered after the abduction. They were still in the background and would have stayed there until the knife went in. But now they roared back to life, worse than ever before. It was as if a dozen chain saws were revving in his brain. His chance of a live one was starting to falter. He hit the gas and the van bumped over the rough road and skidded to a stop in the kill zone. The cargo pants he wore had compartments on each leg. On one side he placed a flashlight and on the other his knife. He hurried to the back and flung the doors open, then he lifted the cover. The flashlight beam was very powerful in the darkness. Her forehead was bloody as he had expected. Dried rivulets of blood ran down from her forehead then back into her now pinkish blond hair. She was dead. The brightness of the flashlight also exposed something else. Her top had come loose during the struggle with Charlie. Her flopping around afterward must have loosened it even further because now it was down around her stomach, exposing her chest. There, Charlie saw the reason that he had been robbed again. A thick pink scar ran down the center of her chest, a souvenir of open heart surgery. She had a bad heart. Anger exploded in his head. He was on her like a lion, pulling the restraints and ripping at the tape around her head. He drug her by her taped ankles across the thorns and stinging nettles. The savagery consumed

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him. The knife came in hard arching thrusts breaking bones and penetrating through to her back. Then he began to cut. He sliced until there was nothing left that was remotely recognizable as human. When morning came he had another first. He fed the vultures by hand. Later that week he searched the net for any information on a disappearance in Marion County. Apparently this girl had been in a little debauchery herself. The article said that Alison Lee Butler was a person of interest in the homicide of her boyfriend, Andrew Weber. Mr. Weber had been bludgeoned with a hammer in the couple’s apartment. An APB had been issued for Miss Butler. The police spokesperson was quoted as saying that Ms. Butler was, ‘In the wind.’ Charlie thought about that. If they would only look in the sky over Vulture Bend, they would know how literally that comment could be taken. He chuckled to himself. He should really write some of these things down.

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46 Eager as I was to get home, we still had one roadblock to overcome before we could start. And it was literally a roadblock. We came down what was potentially our future driveway and found a police car pulled across the end, blocking it. Warren was leaning on the fender with his arms crossed, smiling. “Oh, no,” Annie murmured. “What are we going to do now?” I had an idea. I didn’t stop until the last second, sliding in the gravel and making Warren jump out of the way. My bumper ended up an inch from the police car door. He looked scared while he was getting out of the way. It was great. I was laughing as I got out of the car. “That did it!” Warren half yelled. “Now I got you for using a deadly weapon against a police officer.” “What are you talking about officer? I just came down the driveway and you are parked illegally here and I was lucky to get stopped in time. This gravel doesn’t give much purchase.” “I also got you for trespassing,” he said calming down a bit and starting to feel a cocky. “What, you and your little girl feeling the need but too cheap for a motel?” “Hey, that’s no way for a public servant to talk.” “Don’t do anything stupid,” Annie said to me across the hood.” She was out of the car also. Warren pulled his gun out of its holster and pointed it at me. I wanted to hit him so badly. I was sure in a couple of steps he 198


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would be close enough for me to take the gun away and throw it into the tall grass. Then I would land a punch on each ear. I reached in to his mind and instantly realized he was going to shoot me. He came at me with the gun leveled and wide crazy eyes. Unless some kind of reason kicked in or I did something very creative in the next couple of seconds I was going to get shot in the chest. A rock whizzed past Warren’s head. He was concentrating on me so hard that it didn’t even register. Annie threw another, which missed badly. He was closing in and I was running out of options. Then it hit me. I turned around and put my hand on my hips. I heard his feet stop in the gravel behind me. He couldn’t shoot me in the back and say it was self-defense. I knew it and he knew I knew it. There was a silence while he decided what to do. I looked across the car to Annie, who was still recording on her phone. “PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE CAR!” he yelled. I took my hands off of my hips and did as he said. Before I knew it he had my right hand behind my back and was pulling my left one down. He cuffed them behind me and kicked my legs apart so I had to lean my chest on the car’s top to stay up. “Pretty slick, you practice that at home in a mirror?” I said. He grabbed my hair and slammed my head on the car’s roof hard enough to dent it. Luckily I could read him enough to know what he was going to do and was able to turn my head so the blow was mostly on the side. I felt blood trickle from the side of my brow. He turned me around and put his hand on my neck and pushed. I tried to push back but I had no leverage. I was looking up at the sky. There was blurp, blurp of a police siren and Warren’s grip loosened. A police car was coming on fast with the blue lights flashing. Apparently it had rounded the curve and seen the cars pulled off and decided that the officer needed assistance. It was beginning to look like my goose was cooked. 199


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The car came to a screeching halt on the road right beside us. He didn’t bother pulling off the road, he didn’t even bother to close the door when he got out. He was a young guy, not much older than me and good looking in an athletic way. His tan uniform fit much better than Warren’s. “What you got here Warren?” “Trespassing, use of a deadly weapon,” Warren said. The cop looked at me then at Annie who was on the other side of the car without her phone. “Where’s the weapon?” the cop said. “Here, the car. He tried to hit me with the car.” “We did not,” Annie said. “We came down the driveway too fast and he was waiting for us. We slid in the gavel.” The cop looked at me. “Are you going to run?” I looked up and down the road. “Where to?” “Are you going to try to hit either of us?” “Not you,” I said. “Maybe him.” I nodded at Warren. The cop halfway smiled, “That’s pretty much the general consensus around here.” “Uncuff him, Warren,” he said. “I got them dead to rights on the trespassing,” Warren said. He was still a little pumped up and was talking loud, but was deflating quickly. I could feel his rage turning defensive. “No way, I’m taking this one in.” “We weren’t trespassing, we were looking at the house up there. We might buy it,” Annie said. That made the cop smile. “Is that right?” “We just called our realtor, Terri,” Annie said. “She told us to go up and look at it, well, she didn’t, Mrs. Null did.” “Yeah,” I said. The cop looked at me. “You know, Lee’s wife, Tom’s daughter-in-law,” I said. The cop turned to Warren who was directly behind him. “Warren are you a moron?” I was behind the cop and looked over his shoulders to look at Warren. 200


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I nodded and silently mouthed the word, MORON to Warren. He looked back at me coldly. “You know hunters use that road to park at the top and walk over the hill. If we charged these two with trespassing we would have to charge half the county, including the mayor and most of the council.” Warren stood staring at me. Then he finally turned and got in his car. The cop let him go without a word. He took his own keys out and unlocked me. “You okay, your head seems to be bleeding. “I’m all right, but what about the dent in the car. Who’s going to pay for that?” “I expect Tuck down at the garage can pound that out,” he said. He ran his hand over the dent. “He owes me one.” He took a cotton handkerchief out of his back pocket and handed it to me. “You want to file a complaint?” “No,” I said. “You are certainty within your rights to if you want.” “No, just keep that guy away from me. He’s nuts.” “Duly noted,” he said. “And I’m sure Terri will do a great job for you. If anybody can get you that house, it’s Terri.”“Do you know her?” Annie asked. “Know her, married her,” he said and went back to his car. “You folks have a safe trip back. Terri will have you set up before the school year starts.” He turned a U-turn and waved. “Guess news travels fast,” Annie said. “Guess that was Lee,” I said. Little did I know he would become the most important person in my life in the next year.

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47 The drive back, although almost twenty hours later than we planned, was enjoyable and exciting for a couple planning a new life together. We decided on a Caribbean wedding, set a budget, and divided the work. The thought of the House on the Hill, as we began to refer to it, was exciting, but I was still unconvinced we could buy it and if we could, make it livable by September. Our encounter with our new friend Warren seemed less important than the relationships we made with the Nulls and Lee. I got the feeling that if Mrs. Null was on your side the Police Department would automatically fall in line. I stopped in and talked to Debbie. She had been to a tax guy and the bank. She was almost as excited about buying the building as I was to get married. Barring a bad building inspection we had a deal. I was really happy for her, I hoped this deal worked out for both of us. Things were certainly falling into place. The only drawback was that you can’t sell a building overnight. It might take a couple of months to close and that left us with a cash flow problem. But I had time to figure that out. I finally made it home and took a long shower. Sometimes I do my best thinking in the shower. By the time my fingers began to pucker, I had a plan. I called Annie to ask if I could come over. She thought it was a funny question after the last couple of days, but said yes. She was out of the shower and was planning on making a light dinner for the both of us. I dressed, got my boom box, and went to the store to buy flares. 202


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*** It was dark by the time I got everything arranged. The security lights were buzzing over the parking lot when I pulled in. The moon was full and the night was peaceful just as it should be on a mid-summer evening. The packaging on the side of the flares described them as lasting up to fifteen minutes once lit. That would do for my purposes as long as I timed the phone call right. I was lucky I was getting a second chance at this. I lit all four packages, twenty-four flares, and might as well go all in I thought. It took much less time than predicted, four minutes and all were blazing away. Next was the music. I hit the play button on the boom box and the song to which we had danced at the talent show blasted from the speakers. I called her phone. “I thought you were coming over,” she said. “What is that music? Where are you?” “Can you name the song?” I said. “Hold the phone up,” she said. I held it away from my face and toward the boom box. “Got it?” I asked. “It’s the song we danced to. Where are you?” “Look out the window.” I saw her come to the window and freeze. She was three floors up and back lit by the lamps in the living room so I couldn’t see her expression. But I could read her body language through her silhouette. I was standing in a fiery, heart shaped ring of flares with the music blasting. Her windows were miniature sliding glass doors. She unlocked it and slid it open. “What in the world?” “ANNIE SPENCER, WILL YOU MARRY ME?” I held the ring box up, like a little kid paying for his first candy at a five and dime. She didn’t say anything for the longest time. Then I could tell that both her hands went to her mouth. 203


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“Yes,” she croaked. “Come again, didn’t quite get that,” I yelled over the music. “Yes,” she said, much stronger. “Shall I come up then,” I said. “Hurry,” she said and closed the window. I was feeling pretty good about my second attempt at proposal. I shoved the ring box in my pocket, then grabbed my boom box and ran to the door. I fumbled with the key, got it into the slot, and took the steps two at a time. The fire door flung open and I charged through. She was standing in the hall waiting for me. Her eyes were rimmed red, she was crying. She jumped into my arms. Funny, sometimes real life seems romantic and in movies it just seems cheesy. I figured this was way up the cheesy meter to anyone watching us, but not for me. Tonight I was the King of Romance. “I love you,” she said. “I love you, too.” I took out the ring box out of my pocket and got down on one knee. For the tiniest second I was afraid the box would be empty and I had messed up my redo. So, I turned it so only I could see inside and cracked the box open. The diamond shined back like it was winking at me. “Whew,” I said. Annie giggled. When I opened the box wide and held it up she gasped. “It’s beautiful. How can we afford this?” She took it out and placed it on her finger. The tears started again. King of Romance, I thought.

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48 The hotel was to take care of all the arrangements. All we had to do was land in Charlotte Amalie, go to the City building, pay for the marriage license, and bring it back to the Hotel. The minister was to show up and perform the ceremony around six. Piece of cake. The problems started at the airport. It was a small airport with small airplanes, which would take us to a large airport with airplanes large enough to fly us to St. Thomas. This first airplane had six seats on each side of the aisle. Once inside you had to stoop to get down the aisle and twist yourself into the seat. There was no room for anything. Annie is one of the most efficient people I have ever met, it’s the way she lives, the way she teaches, and the way she packs. Her suitcase, like her lesson plans are works of art. She packed both our suitcases for this trip and I have to say that I’d never been able to get all my things, plus the suit I was to be married in, in one suitcase. Annie’s was the same except for one thing, the wedding dress. She refused to pack it in a suitcase that might get lost or delayed. She was going to carry it by hand to St. Thomas. The dress was in a sturdy white box, the size a department store might pack a winter jacket. It had a glossy sheen and was tied in both directions with string that was bound around several times. It weighed next to nothing, but was fairly bulky and would have fit in a seat by itself if there had been an unoccupied seat.

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The plane was so small there was no flight attendant. The copilot greeted the passengers and helped them up the stairs. He looked as though he had just started shaving. As we boarded the plane, the copilot said he could store the box with the rest of the luggage, Annie said, “No thank you,” and continued up the stairs. Once the rest of the passengers crammed in, the copilot slouched back to Annie and said, “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to allow me to store the box with the rest of the luggage.” “This is my wedding dress. It’s not going to leave my sight until I put it on tonight for the wedding.” She didn’t have enough room to hold it on her lap so she held it vertically in front of her. The copilot could not see her face. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to insist.” I watched in fascination, this was going to get good. “Are you going to take the luggage off this plane and put it on the next? Can you personally guarantee it’s going to St. Thomas with me?” A business looking guy sitting two seats up said, “Let her keep it, let’s get this plane in the air, I got a meeting to make.” The guy in front of me said, “Security? Have you seen any security at this place?” I said, “Yeah, I’ve had luggage lost before.” I gave Annie a thumbs up. He came over the intercom and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve decided to taxi out to the runway, we should be in the air momentarily….” “Way to go,” I said. “It’s staying with me,” she said. “I mean it.” The flight was only thirty minutes long. We landed and taxied to a small terminal where the copilot helped us deplane like nothing had happened. He didn’t care, he was done with the crazy lady and her box. “Have a nice wedding,” he said to Annie. She thanked him and went on, the box now slightly concave in the middle. 206


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We had about an hour to get to the concourse, but we were running on Annie time, which meant we were already late. We went through the metal detectors and the lady asked Annie if that was her carry on. Annie said, “Yes, it’s my wedding dress,” The security officer shook her head and said, “Good luck.” Once there, we presented our tickets and sat down to wait for boarding instructions. “Want me to hold it for a while?” I asked. “Nope,” she said. “Don’t trust me, do you?” “Nope,” she said. They called our rows and we showed our tickets again. The lady there asked if Annie would like to have the box up with the luggage. And again she refused, but she was allowed to board with it. When we were seated a male flight attendant came by and asked Annie to put the box in the overhead compartment. Annie said, “No,” and that she would be just fine holding it. We watched a man stuffing an oversized gym bag into the overhead compartment. Annie nodded to the flight attendant and explained that was why she wasn’t putting her wedding dress into a compartment. He continued to insist that the box was going into the compartment or the plane was not going to take off. Annie continued to hold her ground. They were at a standoff until a female flight attendant came over to see what the ruckus was all about. They had an unpleasant discussion. The attendant went to the cabin and returned with the Captain in tow. He was a white haired, tanned man of fifty who had probably flown combat missions in the first Gulf War. He had a steel jaw, sharp eyes, and complete control of his airplane. He had not met my wifeto-be. “Ma’am, you cannot hold your package during takeoff,” he said.

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Annie looked around the box that was vertical on her lap, “I’m not letting go of my wedding dress!” Her head disappeared back behind the box. The female attendant said to the Captain, “There are bee’s that protect their hives, lionesses that protect their cubs, and women that protect their wedding dresses.” He looked at the male flight attendant and said, “A good solider knows when it’s time to retreat. Give this one up, son.” He headed to the cockpit, the male attendant abruptly tuned and walked up the aisle, and the female gave Annie a wink. She had won battle number two. We were in the air and she held her dress. I settled back to enjoy the rest of the flight. I could relax now that Annie would walk off the plane with her dress and my honeymoon remaining intact. The plane hummed that sound you only get on airplanes, pressure and speed. The ocean became bluer beneath us as St. Thomas approached. The landing was scary only to Annie and me, the rest of the passengers acted as though they had landed here thousands of times. Maybe they had. By now the wedding dress box was pretty battered. Top and bottom were caved in and one of the end flaps was torn and flapping in the air. I silently prayed the dress on the inside was faring better than the box on the outside. Annie held it under her arm like a full back on his first carry. We decided to rent a locker at the airport, rather than carrying our baggage to city hall. We had to sign the wedding license there before five and it was already after three. After paying for the locker and filling it with our things we headed outside for a cab. We opened the doors, no automatic doors here, and were blasted with the heat of a coal furnace. It was stifling. I began to sweat profusely and Annie looked as though she was melting. She hung on to the box though and started looking for a cab. The parking lot was chaos. Cabs were pointed every which way. I couldn’t tell the isles from the parking spaces. Everyone 208


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was blowing their horns. And these were the professional cab drivers. I could see Annie was getting a bit frayed. She had battled with flight attendants and pilots and now this. The travel agent said City Hall was only a few miles from the airport and that two hours would certainly be enough time. It didn’t look like two days would be long enough. There was a guy getting out of a cab not too far from where we were standing. He paid the driver and started towards the terminal. Annie and I saw him at the same time and hurried to the cab, zig zagging around parked cars like Frogger. “We have to get to City Hall by five,” Annie said to the cabbie. “No problem lady,” he said through the open window, smiling with big white teeth. He got out of the car to take our bags. He wore baggie cargo shorts, sandals, and a tank top that said, OSWALD WAS FRAMED. He had several gold chains around his neck. If he was surprised we had no bags with us he didn’t show it, but said, “Would you like me to put the box in the trunk for you?” “NO!” we both shouted at once. “Okay, okay,” he said and opened the door for us, “Just trying to be helpful.” He had long dreadlocks tied back in a pony tail that bounced every time he nodded to the Reggae playing on the radio. The air conditioner was on high but he kept the window down with his arm limply hanging out and down. “Peter Noonen,” he said looking into the rearview mirror. “How are you doing this fine day?” He turned and extended his hand into the back seat. We shook and I introduced Annie and myself. “Where will the nuptials be?” he asked. “How did you know we are getting married?” He grinned an infectious grin. “No wedding bands, going to City Hall, carrying a beaten up box, and to beg a pardon, a bit anxious. To me, Mon, that spells out wedding. Unless, you are 209


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a terrorist, but they wear long coats, and who could bring terror to a paradise such as this?” He smiled again and looked in the mirror. Annie laughed. “Blackbeard’s castle,” Annie said. “Beautiful place,” Peter said. “Overlooks the harbor from the mountain. Would it be Father Bell doing the ceremony?” “I’m not sure, I said. “I hope it is Father Bell. He is a very spiritual man. A Godly man.” We crawled along with everyone else. There were people on the sidewalks, inspecting the wares sold by street vendors. They were laughing, enjoying their vacations oblivious to the pressure building in our car. The street ahead was filled. Plus now that we were closer to town, buses and trucks joined the cars. I looked at my watch, it was after four. “Are we going to be able to make it in time?” I asked. “I don’t know, Mon. The traffic is bad. We are only about two miles away, but...” he swept his hand toward the windshield. “Can’t you take a side road or drive on the sidewalk, or something?” Annie said. “This is St. Thomas, not Hollywood,” Peter said smiling. “It would take you twenty minutes on foot from here. I’m not sure this car can beat that.” Annie was already out the door. I paid Peter and thanked him. He started handing me business cards with his name on one side and businesses on the other. “Here is a nice restaurant,” he said. “Show them this card and they will treat you like a king, the owner is my cousin. If you would like jewelry, my uncle will give you a good price.” He went on until Annie was nearly out of sight. I took off after her. Peter got out of his car and waved. “Goodbye Finn and Annie. Have a good life together!” He waved until we waved back, the horns blowing behind him. We made it in fifteen minutes, sweaty and panting from the heat. City Hall was a colonial stone building painted sky blue and white. 210


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The entrance was constructed of three platform steps up to a massive door. Once inside the steps continued to the second floor where the offices seemed to be located. There was a landing about halfway up which housed an airport-like metal detector. Annie plowed right through it, causing the alarms and blue lights to ignite. No one seemed to care. At the top was a marble counter with an array of desks behind it. The desks were stacked with folders and paper work, but completely unmanned. The alarm echoed through the room and across the desks and no one came. We looked at each other. “We didn’t make it,” Annie said. “All this way and we didn’t make it.” The alarm silenced itself and we stood not knowing what to do. On the wall hung a big white clock. In the silence after the alarm we could hear it ticking. Then I saw it, way off to one side of the counter. It was a bell, the kind that has a round metal top and a kind of plunger you hit with your palm. I walked over to where it was sitting and banged on it twice, just like at a hotel in an old movie. A large black lady, dressed in the powder blue top and navy skirt of the public workers, emerged from a doorway at the back of the room and nimbly maneuvered through the swarm of desks. “Sorry to keep you waiting, what can I help you with?” she said in the same island accent as Peter. She smiled. “We were afraid we were too late,” Annie said. “Too late for what?” she said. “To get the marriage license.” “No, No, I’ll take care of that hon,” her smile got even bigger. “The two of you come round here to my desk.” She ushered us around the counter and to a moderately neat desk. Annie had the paperwork out and ready. “The hem of your wedding dress is dangling out of your box,” she said. A jagged tear had ripped up the top of the box. I think it was only being held together by the string at this point. 211


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“Thank you,” Annie said as she sat in one of the two chairs across from the desk. “I was afraid to put it with the luggage because...” “Something might happen to it,” the lady finished. She wore several gold chains also. “That is the smart thing to do. There was a lady down here once, never did get her dress back. Felt so bad for her.” She was very efficient. After a couple of forms and a couple rubber stamps we signed the papers. She even gave Annie tape to repair what was left of the box. She shook my hand and gave Annie a hug. I got the feeling that even though everything looked relaxed down here, they really knew what they were doing. “Now back to the airport for our bags, then to the hotel,” I said as we descended the stairs. “I just hope we can get a cab,” Annie said. There were horns blowing just outside the building. A cab tried to pull into a five foot gap between two parked cars directly in front of the building, which was the source of the horn blowing. Peter stood in front of his cab, arms raised and palms up, smiling. “Would you two, soon to be married people, need a taxi cab?” *** The road to Blackbeard’s Castle wound up and up through what seemed like a jungle. When we emerged from the foliage the air lightened and the sun seemed to have torn the top off of the sky. I could feel it dancing across the bare skin on my hands and face. Only a turret remained of the original castle but the rest carried out the theme of a nineteenth century hideaway. The view was spectacular, the perfect background for a wedding. The pool which also overlooked the port, had a cabana/grill. Peter knew the guy who worked there and decided to stay, have 212


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something to eat, and watch the ceremony. The concierge had everything in order, he only had to call the pastor, which he did. Things were set, we would be married by sundown. Annie and I both giggled. They showed us to our room. Annie shooed me out after a couple of minutes and told me to get something to eat at the grill. She would call me there when she was ready. I bought hamburger and fries for Peter and myself. The bill was thirty-five dollars. Blackbeard wasn’t the only pirate here. The pastor showed up and introduced himself. Peter was right, he was a very spiritual man. Very soft spoken and nice, the kind of guy who could handle himself in any situation. We talked for a while then the phone rang and Peter’s friend handed the phone to me. Annie was ready, time for me to clean up. Father Bell told me where to meet him for the ceremony. Annie let me in the room. She had showered and fixed her freshly washed hair. Everything was ready except for the dress which had just been steamed. It was on a hanger in the closet. Annie was walking around in crisp white underwear and heals. I wanted to tell her that the dress could not be an improvement on this particular look, but I wasn’t sure it would be received as complimentary as I meant it. So I told her she was beautiful and took a shower. Once clean, I opened the bathroom door only to find a note. Annie had gone ahead to make sure the paper work was completed. She asked me to find her and the pastor as soon as I was dressed. I think the real reason was so I wouldn’t see her until the last minute, like in a church wedding. So I got dressed in my suit. I have to admit I looked pretty dashing. But, everything has a yin and yang. I couldn’t find my shoes. I remember Annie asking me to set them out, but had I? I looked everywhere. Finally, I gave up and went barefoot. The only other choice was my Nike’s I wore on the flight down, and they really looked stupid with the suit. I hoped she wouldn’t be upset but this was her wedding day and I’ve heard some stories about bridezillas.

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The guy at the grill had told Annie where to meet the Pastor, so I followed the directions to a group of flowering trees. The landing was edged with a black iron fence and the bushes around burst with pink blooms. Annie was standing with her back to me talking to Peter and the Pastor. Then she turned and smiled. The sun was setting golden behind her, right down into the blue water. The sky was orange and pink and she out shone all of it. Her shoulders were bare and perfect, the dress white and shiny and her face glowed. I was struck again with the absurdity that I was the luckiest man in the world. I think I actually gasped. “Where are your shoes, Mon?” Peter said. “It’s the new thing in the states,” I said without taking my eyes off Annie. “Like McCartney on the cover of Abby Road.” “I don’t see it,” Peter said to Father Bell. “You are stunning,” I said to Annie. She was holding a tiny bouquet of the same blossoms on the bushes. Her eyes started to well up with tears. “I’m sorry. I packed your things because I was afraid you’d forget something. Then I was the one to mess it up.” “Nothing is messed up. We’re getting married, that’s all I care about.” “Finn, good looking man, nice suit, no shoes,” Peter said. “More like Huckleberry Finn.” Father Bell cleared his throat, “Are we ready then?” He began a really beautiful speech that I remember very little about. I do remember it was perfect for us overlooking the blue Caribbean water. About halfway through he asked if we had anything we’d like to say. I didn’t know if I could get through it dry eyed. I took her hands in mine, I could feel them trembling. “I knew from the moment we met, when you kept me locked out in the cold, that you were different. You’ve not left my thoughts since. I promise you will be my first thought every morning and my last thought every night. You have made me 214


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a better person, shown me what happiness is, and given me a reason to live.” She had a tear sliding down each cheek as she started. “I’ve read that only two things matter when life comes to an end, that you have loved and that you have been loved. Thank you for allowing me both. I promise to be your partner and your friend, your shoulder to lean on and hand to hold. Till death do us part.” Peter and a girl who worked at the front desk signed as witnesses. Someone else took pictures with an iPad. A few of the pictures showed a barefoot groom. Most didn’t. We ate at Peter’s cousin’s restaurant twice and bought wedding bands from his Uncle. We floated on rafts in Megan’s Bey and laid in the sun at the pool. We talked to very few people besides each other. Our skin turned a healthy brown and Annie never looked more beautiful. We held hands a lot. I liked waking up before her and watching her sleep. I promised myself I would never take her for granted. We received a call from the realtor; she had tracked down the current owner of the house. Apparently she was in California, strung out and owing a ton of taxes. Her boyfriend dealer found out there may be a jackpot at the end of this rainbow for him and he was persuading her to sell. We had to figure out a price that seemed like a lot to her. It was the ideal honeymoon that I had no qualms ending, because I was ready to start a new life with the perfect wife. The house thing looked like it was going to go through, the sale of my apartment and building looked like a go.

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49 So we packed up and left the paradise of St Thomas and started the usually depressing thought of going back to reality. But like I say, we were both happy to start our life together, so the trip home was fun. We met another couple from West Virginia on the plane. The woman sat across the aisle from Annie and the two began to chat. They had been married five years and this was the first time their schedules had matched up for a vacation. I closed my eyes and settled back in my chair while they talked for a bit more. I was just drifting off when Annie poked me in the arm. I opened my eyes and she leaned in close. “What are they like?” “What do you mean?” “Do your reaching in thing, see what they are really like,” she said. “Why?” “I just want to know,” she whispered and poked me again. I closed my eyes and concentrated...nothing came. I tried again, it was like trying to remember a name, right there on the tip of the tongue and then gone again. I continued to concentrate. Annie poked me again, “Are you trying or did you go back to sleep?” Then it came to me in a flash. “She thinks I’m good looking and he thinks the same about you.” “I knew it,” she said. “Annie, that’s not bad. I think it happens a lot, it’s kind of... natural as long as it’s just kept in the mind.” 216


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“Anything else about him?” I reached in again. “He’s planning on leaving her. Soon.” Annie was quiet. I guessed she had come up with a similar scenario herself. “That’s sad. And she has no idea?” “Nope.” She spun her wedding band around her finger with her thumb. “I told you might not want to know.” I felt bad that she was feeling bad. “I’m glad I’m not you,” she said. “I couldn’t stand knowing.” “It’s a burden that has hardened my heart.” She slapped me on the shoulder. The couple across the aisle looked at us. “Inappropriate suggestion,” I said. They laughed. “But you know what? That was hard. I had to really try to get into them. It’s not been that hard since I’ve learned how to control it.” “Why? What has changed?” she whispered. “I’ve always had a theory. It’s like sweat. When do you sweat?” “When you are hot,” she said. “No, not like that. You sweat when you’re tense or nervous. I think I’m better at it when I’m in turmoil. It’s harder to read people when I’m happy.” She contemplated that. She put a fingertip on my lower lip. “Then I’m going to make you so happy you won’t be able to read the newspaper.” The Mrs. and I were quiet for the rest of the flight.

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50 The first thing Annie did after unpacking was to call Mrs. Null and tell her we were married. She congratulated us and officially informed Annie that she had gone through board action and was now a county employee with dental, medical, and a retirement plan. They made arrangements for Annie to get keys to the building and to sign some paperwork. There was also a Continuing Ed. Day she would like Annie to attend. We had to get moving on the house. So, Mrs. Null said she would set up a meeting with the realtor whenever we wanted. She also offered to let us stay with them until the house was livable. I asked her, now that we were married, if we would be able to stay in the same room. She said probably, but Cleatus would have to see the license. I wasn’t sure if she was joking or not. She said we could come as soon as we wanted. It was Sunday, we decided to go on Tuesday. We made lists of things to do. Things we had to do together and things we could divide and conquer. We worked well together. Monday morning I met Debbie at the bank and signed all the papers that were allowed as the loan hadn’t technically gone through yet. The bank guys were friendly and helpful and promised to expedite the process as much as humanly possible. The term humanly had a slightly different nuance for me in the last few months. I got some containers from the hot dog shop to pack our things. I hoped that real dogs wouldn’t follow us around, cartoon-like. 218


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Annie packed up her apartment and had everything boxed and labeled within a few hours. Mine would take a bit longer because things like guitars and amplifiers didn’t fit as easily in boxes. We could do that later, right now the focus was on a week’s worth of clothing and the things we would need to work on the house and classroom. So we rolled into Quiet Dell around noon on Tuesday and went directly to the school, where Mrs. Null had packed a huge lunch for us. She called the realtor, Terri, Lee’s wife, and invited her to the office for lunch. As Annie and Mrs. Null huddled over the contracts and state standards, I walked around the school. I smelled my way to the Gym. Old schools like this always had Gyms with that certain smell, that rich mix of testosterone, dust, and the tension of a thousand close games over the years. The aural residue of memories. Charlie Charlie, in one of his more human-like periods, decided to spend part of his weekend cleaning out the house. There was no embarrassment in living in the same room he had lived in as a child. In Charlie’s mind it was an accomplishment. He was here, doing what he needed to do, without any fear of repercussions. How many people could say that? The bedroom had the feel of a slightly off balance frat house. The dust and dirt under the bed and in the corners of the closet could be measured in inches. The blinds were never raised, the bed never made and waste basket only emptied when the food wrappers overflowed. The plan was to take everything out of his room and paint the walls a pale green. Pale green was relaxing, he’d learned that on television. Kmart had a shade he could just walk in and buy without talking to anyone. He saw that on TV also. Everything was out except for the bed that was where the closet excess was to be sorted. His closet had not been cleaned out as far back as he could remember. He found shirts from sixth grade, as dirty and grimy 219


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as when he had hung them back up. His mother’s rule was to wear something three times before it was washed, no matter how sweaty or filthy it was. He found jeans he had written on with an ink pen. A girl’s name in his handwriting was written down the thighs, then savagely scribbled out, probably the next day after her rejection. There were other things, each with its own memory. The worst was a Little League uniform, wadded into a ball and stuffed into a cardboard box. The fabric looked like it would last a hundred years, thick and tough and unbending. A kid could die of heat stroke in something made of that material. But he was so proud of that uniform he wore it constantly before that game. The trim was scarlet with a big twenty one sewn on the back. Elks was written in script across the front in the same scarlet. The coolest thing of all was the E and the L were on one side of the buttons and K and S were on the other side, just like the pros. He sat on the bed and studied it. Charlie got a list of all the practices when he signed up, but neither of his parents or his granddad would take him. So when time for the first game rolled around Charlie was the new fish, never seen by the other kids or the coaches. His dad talked to the coach before the game started and explained Charlie was better than any of these other loser kids here and he had better see him in the starting lineup. Charlie started the game, dear old dad drank out of a paper bag in the stands. They stuck him in the outfield and the ball didn’t come his way the entire game, which was a good thing because what was to come might have been even worse. The first trip to the plate was a disaster. He was out in three swings, missing the ball by a mile each time. The bat wasn’t even moving when the ball was hitting the catcher’s mitt, he was that late. His dad was waiting by the fence when he walked back to the dugout. Even though he was quiet, everyone could tell Charlie was getting bawled out by his dad. He walked back to the dugout and put his head in his hands. The next trip up was worse. Charlie was so scared he didn’t swing at anything. He struck out in five pitches without 220


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moving a muscle. Dad was waiting again. This time he yanked him around the fence and got in Charlie’s face. He ended the discussion with a smart slap to Charlie’s ear, sending his cap flying. Charlie’s dad joined his father in the stands and the parents of the other kids started talking. A couple of the mothers went to find a pay phone to call the police. On his third trip at bat Charlie’s dad got to him before he went to the plate. A couple of the other dads stepped up behind him at the fence. “What do you want?” Charlie’s dad snarled. “Touch him again.” one guy said. “Don’t tell me how to raise my kid.” “Go ahead, one hair,” the other guy said. Veins were sticking out in his neck. They both were pretty big. The umpire came up behind Charlie. “I’ve seen some poor parenting over the years, but you are the worst. Your son here is going to finish this game, but I don’t ever want to see you here again. Got it?” Charlie’s dad was smart enough to see he had no play here. It was lose lose. But, he had been raised mean enough, not to let this pass. “Yeah, yeah, get the hell away from me.” The guys walked back to the stands but sat down on the first row, waiting. The umpire went back and swept off the plate. Charlie looked up at his dad. “You listen to me you little worm. You’re not going to embarrass me anymore. Why’d you want to come if you can’t play? You’re horrible, what did you think, you’d just show up and be a star?” The umpire yelled, “Batter up!” “You drop that bat right now. You’re going up to that plate and hit the ball with your hands laced together. Put them together right now, like your holding hands with yourself.” Charlie dropped the bat and put his hands together. “I want you to swing like it’s real.” “No Dad, please. It’ll hurt.” “You embarrassed me, see what it feels like.” 221


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“Please don’t make me, I just want to go home. Can we just go?” “Get up there, or we can take this home in private.” Charlie went to the plate. He got in his stance like he had seen the other boys do. “Son, what are you doing?” The umpire said. “My dad says I have to bat like this,” Charlie said. It was about this point that a police car pulled into the park and things happened quickly after that. Charlie’s dad was arrested for public drunkenness and put on a watch list for child endangerment. That was the end of the baseball career. His granddad drove him home and yelled at him from the front seat. He said it had all been Charlie’s fault. How could such a little boy cause such big problems? When they got home Charlie jumped from the car and ran into the house, only to find his mother asleep on the couch. He remembered the room was sweltering and his mother’s blouse was damp with sweat. She was wearing a green tank top and some very unflattering cutoffs. He jiggled her shoulder to wake her up then told her what had happened. She sat up and listened. Then she slapped him hard across the face for waking her up. He ran across the junk yard and through the mounds of junk metal until he had no energy left. He sat in the door opening of a hulking Ford. The door had been sold or torn off long before. Dusty chrome strips were laying across the front seat. He chose one with a pointy end and twirled it in his hand. He cried some there, the tears leaving clean highways down his cheeks. For some reason he was more upset with his mother than his dad. At some level he expected her empathy, some compassion. His dad was a jerk and he was going to stay that way until he was afraid of Charlie, but his mom.... The next thing Charlie remembered was standing over his mother with that pointy piece of chrome trim. How badly he wanted to pull her shirt up and push the chrome into her stomach. To feel it go in and watch her eyes flutter open. “You 222


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should have loved me, Mom,” he would have said. He was startled from his memory by the sound of his own voice. “You really should have,” he said to the crusty baseball jersey. He slowly got off the bed and tossed the uniform into a bag with the other trash.

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51 Annie, Mrs. Null, and Terri had already started eating by the time I made it back. The conference room, located beside Mrs. Null’s office, was a barren room with only a table, half a dozen chairs, one window painted an industrial blue. Annie had fixed me a plate of fried chicken, green beans, and potato salad. I was sure there was some kind of pie to be found in the huge basket at the end of the table. She introduced me to Terri. We had spoken on the phone but never met. She was attractive, dark hair and eyes, a step closer to the big city than anyone else I’d seen around. She looked a bit older than Annie, but they could have been from the same family. Not sisters exactly, maybe cousins. I could see her with the policeman, Lee. They’d have strong athletic kids. A leather briefcase sat on the floor beside her chair and a folder was on the table within reach. Pretty coy, friendly and eating, but ready to work. Annie seemed at ease with the other two women. She was smiling and laughing with them like they had known each other for ages. She pulled out a seat beside her and slid my plate next to hers. “You guys ever have any spirits, ghosts or invisible creatures in your Gym?” I asked. The two ladies burst out laughing, Annie smiled and gave me a ‘What are you talking about?’ look. We talked and ate. She pushed the folder across the table. She told me a structural engineer and home inspector would both be at the house later that afternoon. After that we could 224


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decide whether we wanted to make an offer and if so, how much. Then we would start with the bank and the loan. “This is great,” I said. “I appreciate what you’ve done. This is certainly above what a realtor has to do, thank you. But we won’t have to get the bank involved. It will be a cash deal.” All three of them stopped chewing, including Annie. “Depending, of course, if we can get the property at the right price.” Terri and Mrs. Null started chewing again, Annie didn’t. “I figure that will make things go quicker, right? So we can start working on the house as soon as possible.” Mrs. Null cast a wary eye at me and looked at Annie, but kept eating. I knew she was wondering how two fresh out of college newlyweds could have that much money. I think Annie was wondering the same thing. I love to drop a bomb. *** The home inspector and the structural engineer turned out to be the same guy, Fred. Fred was a big, happy, red-faced guy whose handshake just about crushed my hand. He wore bib overalls and an Earnhardt baseball hat tilted way back on his head. We met on the brick courtyard in back of the house. He recognized us instantly. He had been at the diner the morning we met Warren. “Kinda liked the way you handled Warren, but some people don’t much care for an outsider getting one over on one of our own, even though they know Warren is about like a mouth full of muddy water,” he said. “Well, we’re not going to be outsiders now,” I said. “Rab Snider moved here thirty years ago, a lot of folks still see him as an outsider cause he weren’t born here. Just saying.” Fred was all over the house with his clipboard and flashlight. He crawled under the front porch and took a ladder off his truck to check the eves. After about an hour and five pages of notes, he said, “I need to look in your garage and your barn.” 225


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“So that building is a barn?” I said. “Sure you don’t want to look at a house in town?” he said. We started with the garage, but didn’t get far. The door was locked and we didn’t have an opener to raise the garage doors. The best we could do was look through the dirty window on the man door. The floor was brick, like the rest of the courtyard, but what we could see of the rest was unspectacular. Just a place to keep the vehicles out of the elements. The barn also had a man door beside the big rolling doors, but this one was unlocked. The ceiling here was higher than the other building. Both had exposed rafters and beams, but here the ceiling was way up there, probably twenty feet. There was a loft toward the back with a wooden ladder nailed to it. It was built to be a barn but didn’t look like it was used that way. Tools of all kinds hung from pegs on the walls and were scattered over several work benches. At first glance some of the tools looked familiar, but for the rest I had no clue as to how they could be used. Something fluttered up in the rafters and bits of dirt flittered down around us. “Looks like you got some kind of nest up there,” Fred said. He shone his flashlight up into the rafters. The shaft of light cut back and forth across the beams until it landed on a circular blob of sticks. From our position there wasn’t much to see. Then he shone the light on the floor. “Owl balls,” he said. “Excuse me?” Annie said. “Look,” he pointed the light at two golf ball sized brown spheres on the brick floor. He ambled over and picked them up, then tossed one to me. I have to admit that my first reaction was to say “Eeeuch,” and let the thing fly past me. But I was going to have to convey a bit more manliness out here in God’s country. I caught it but held it lightly. “Got an owl’s nest up there. These are the things they can’t digest, they are actually called owl pellets,” he held the ball in the light beam. I looked at mine and gave Annie a manly wink. 226


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“Owl ball,” I said to her. “They cough them up every so often, so they don’t get all clogged up.” I was enjoying this less and less. “If you were to get some dishwashing liquid and water and put this in a jar,” he paused for dramatic effect, “In a couple of days, you’d probably find a couple of chipmunk skulls, maybe a vole or mole, maybe even a snake skull.” Fred stuck the flashlight under his arm while he was holding the owl ball and the beam was flashing across the back of the barn. Way in the back was a wooden picnic table with wooden crates stacked on it. Beside that were some chairs stacked on top of each other and a group of wooden barrels. In the corner was a vehicle of some kind under a canvas tarp. The tarp looked old and forgotten, covered with dust and clumps of hay that had fallen between the cracks of the hay loft above it. The shape was odd for a car. The only way I could tell it was a vehicle was the tires on block at the corners of the canvas. “Hey, look at this,” I said. There were a couple of windows but the sun wasn’t at a good angle to let in much light. We walked over to it. Fred held the light as Annie and I tried to pull back the covering. As soon as the fender was uncovered I knew what it was. What we exposed was the rounded fender of a 1940’s pick-up truck. Someone had done body work on it and not had the time, money, or health to complete it. It was still painted in black primer and the chrome pieces were missing. The hood was up, adding to the weird shape of the canvas along with its rounded cab and bed. “Wow,” I said. “You think this comes with the property?” “Tell your agent,” Fred said. “The girl that owns this now, she’s a bad seed. Do anything for some dope. At least that’s what I heard, and from a pretty good source.” We pulled the cover back over and Fred got back to business. He looked at his clipboard. “Well, I got some good news and some bad news,” he said. We waited. 227


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“First of all the house is solid as a rock. No cracks, good foundation. Can’t find any termite damage or mold.” Annie took my hand. “But it’s been empty and its old, probably built between 1920 and 1940. It’s going to need to be rewired. I can tell by that electric in the barn and I’m reasonably sure the house has the same. Can’t be a hundred percent unless we look inside the walls, but the barn has the old knob and tube wiring. That and the fuse box is not even close to code. It’s not safe, not with the amount of electrical stuff we have today.” Annie’s hand felt limp, like she didn’t realize she was holding mine. Fred lifted a sheet on his clipboard and went to page two. “How do you feel about the layout of the kitchen?” he said. Annie looked at me then said, “I don’t know, I guess it’s a little cramped.” “Good,” he said. “Because now is the time to change it, you’re going to need new plumbing. Kitchen, and bathrooms. Probably need to check the septic system also. You know you will need all new appliances, but it’s much easier to remodel than to try to retro fit all the electrical and the plumbing.” “Is that it?” I asked. “Sorry, no.” he said and turned to page three. “Heating and cooling need to be replaced. That furnace is probably fifty years old, and the air conditioner not much newer. The windows are old also and your energy bills would reflect that. New windows would pay for themselves in five years.” Annie’s bubble had burst. She was trying not to show it, but she was really disappointed. She would look at the house then look down, then the house again. She had this way of trying to hide her feelings by kind of squinting and staring. That’s how she was looking at the house and her shoes. “And the front porch needs replaced,” he said. Annie’s shoulders slumped. “So, how much?” I asked hopefully. “Don’t know exactly, not my part of the job.” “We’re not holding you to a number, just a ballpark,” I said. 228


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hat.

He flipped through his pages again, then readjusted his ball

“Kitchens are kind of hard to pinpoint, depending on how high end you go, I don’t know...” He readjusted his hat again. “You’re probably looking at six figures.” “A hundred thousand dollars?” Annie said. “On top of buying the place? There’s no way we can do that!” “Do you know anybody that could do the work?” I asked Fred. “WHAT! Are you crazy? We can’t afford this!” Annie said to me. I winked at her. I loved doing that, especially when she was ready to freak. She slapped me on the shoulder. “Let’s see what we can buy it for,” I said to Annie. To Fred I said, “Is it worth it?” “Comes with a lot of land, not making any more of that you know,” he said. He scratched his chin, “Good solid house though. And yeah, I know some guys.” We told him we would be in touch and he agreed to send the bill to Terri, the realtor. We held hands as he drove down the rutted path we called the driveway. As soon as he was out of sight Annie slapped me on the shoulder again. It was starting to get sore. “OUCH!” I said. “How are we going to do this? I’m a first year teacher. My salary this year won’t even pay for the windows!” I embraced her. “I’ll make you a deal. You concentrate on being the great teacher you can be, and let me worry about the money. How’s that?” “So you have a plan?” she asked. “Yep, with all this land I can grow pot and make a fortune.” She slapped me again, hard. My shoulder was getting sorer.

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52 Things happened pretty quickly over the next few days. Terri must have driven a hard bargain or the seller must have been highly motivated, strung out, or both, because we got the property for next to nothing. She told me later she had listed all the things the new buyer was going to have to do to make the place livable and all Rosealee said was, “How much we gonna get?” The sale didn’t put the big hole in my bank account I had expected, so the pressure was off to get my building sold. I was going to need some of that to pay for renovations, but we were going to be right side up on the whole deal, with a much bigger safety net than I had expected. Annie and I worked well together and before long the classroom looked pretty remarkable. Any student walking in would know the teacher cared about their environment and in turn, cared about them. Teachers dropped in and out during those last days of summer, introducing themselves and welcoming us to the community. The variety was wide in appearance but narrow in age. I saw only a couple of people under fifty. That sometimes means narrow minded and inflexible, but Annie was living her dream, and as long as I was part of it, I was happy too. The only dark aspect was living with the Null’s. They tried to make life as pleasant as possible, but they had lived alone for quite a while and the strain was becoming obvious. Annie helped with the evening meal and I would hang out with Cleatus when he was around. I had the feeling he took off after dinner 230


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many times just to not have to talk to me. We were as quiet as two church mice at bedtime. Then, about a week before school started, Terri approached me about a furnished apartment that had just come open. It was the upper floor in one of the historical buildings in town. It was the perfect find, furnished and two parking spots in the lot behind the building. And only a three month lease. I had the feeling Mrs. Null may have given Terri a little nudge in our direction, which was fine with us. I was a newlywed with a beautiful wife. As grateful as we were, we needed space. I was going to miss that butter fueled cooking, though. Annie slowly morphed back into the bun wearing teacher I had met on that first day. Teacher meetings started the week before the kids came back and even then Annie was dressing a bit more matronly. She wasn’t fooling anyone though, there was an irrepressible sensuality about that she could not hide. Some knew it, some sensed it, and some were just drawn to her without knowing why. We went to the realtor’s office and signed the papers on Saturday morning, I guess they do things on weekends in small towns. We were the happy owners of an abandoned house that was going to need another hundred thousand dollars to become livable. Terri took us to lunch to celebrate at a Pizza Hut we had missed on our earlier grid search. Lee, her policeman husband met us there. Lee had on his tan police uniform. If only Warren could see me now. Lee asked me if I played ball. I told him it had been a few years, but yeah, I played in high school. He invited me to play with a group of guys he played with on Wednesday night. I hesitated, but Annie urged me to play. “Good,” he said. “We always need extra guys. We’re competitive, but these are pretty good guys, no fights, no arguing.” After we finished we shook hands and Annie and I went back to our apartment. I felt strange but good. We had made our first friends as a couple and I was venturing out on my own, 231


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away from Annie. I guess it was the healthy thing to do. The mature thing. Oh boy, what was happening to me? My cell rang as we got back to the apartment. It was Fred, the building inspector. He had gotten hold of one of the contractors we had discussed, did I want to meet him and if so when? We set up a time for Monday morning around eight o’clock at the house. That was Annie’s first day, without students of course, but also without me. I felt a surge of panic. The days without her were going to be the new normal.

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53 Annie packed her lunch and headed out about an hour and a half before she was supposed to be at work. She wore nice jeans, a pink top and flat canvas shoes. Her hair was pulled back in a no nonsense ponytail. She was the dictionary picture of the new young teacher that everybody loved. I was so proud I thought I’d burst. I watched her walk to her car through the back window. She must have felt me watching, because she turned and gave me a thumbs up and a big smile. I couldn’t hear the car start, but I saw a little puff of vapor exit the tail pipe and the brake lights flash. She pulled out of the parking lot, turned right and disappeared behind a building. I stood for a second, looking at nothing, then put a half cup of coffee in the microwave and waited for it to heat. The seconds ticked off and I wondered how many seconds it would be until I saw her after school. Then I realized thinking like that was pretty creepy. I took the coffee to the bedroom and sat on the unmade bed. I could hear the clock ticking on the nightstand. I decided the new normal sucked. A shower made me feel a bit better. The day was beautiful, so that added to my heightening spirit. It felt like a day when summer knew it was losing the battle to autumn but wasn’t ready to give up yet. There was a chill in the air, but not the shivering kind of chill. It was the kind of chill that would make you appreciate the sun later on in the day.

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Driving the Chevelle on these curvy, hilly roads lightened my spirits also. There is something glorious about putting your foot down on the accelerator and hearing the motor come to life and then eat up the pavement as you roar up a hill or around a turn. Add some Rolling Stones and the morning turned sublime. I slowed and pulled onto my goat-path driveway that was probably going to cost another ten thousand dollars to scrape and blacktop, and drove as carefully as possible so as not tear the transmission out from under my car. I parked on the courtyard and turned off the car and the Stones. There were birds singing in the trees. Bunches of birds, it was kind of eerie. Like a kind of nature sing off. Anyway, I had put my new house key on my key chain along with other keys that had at some time been important, but at present, I hadn’t a clue to what they were for. I went in through the kitchen and straight through to the front door. I was a little afraid to go out on the porch after what the building inspector had said, so I opened the front door and just looked from there. I was again amazed at the view. I stood until I heard muffled voices coming from the courtyard. Closing the door, I walked back outside and found two guys looking at my car. Both wore faded Levis and white tee shirts with the arms cut out. One was white and the other was African American. The white guy’s shirt said Black Power. They had the same build, skinny but tough looking. The white guy’s hair that was a little scraggly looking. The black guy’s hair was in long dreads. Both looked as if they might be related to Kevin Bacon. They had that bad boy look that good girls fall for. They looked up when I let the door slam behind me. “Mr. Finn?” the black guy said. “Just Finn,” I said. “Honest Fred said you might need some help.” “Honest Fred?” I said. “Yeah, well that’s our nickname for him. He seems to be a righteous kind of guy,” the white guy said. “Too righteous for us,” said the other. 234


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“He said we should come and talk to you, sort of like an interview,” said the first one. “If he vouches for you,” I said, “You’re okay with me. “No, we wouldn’t be interviewing for you. You’d be interviewing for us.” “We don’t just work for any Joe Blow who calls us,” the black guy said. I didn’t quite know how to respond to that. “Let’s look at the property,” the white guy said. “Do you have a list of items from Honest Fred?” I pulled the folded paper from my back pocket. They spoke well, more like two adjunct professors than contractors, and even though they were dressed in a workman’s way they carried themselves differently. Not better, just differently. We walked through the house. They mostly talked with each other and ignored me. From what I could hear they sounded extremely knowledgeable and experienced, but they looked like they were in their mid-twenties and might steal your car. After about thirty minutes I said, “How am I doing?” They looked at me expressionlessly. “In the interview process.” I said. The white guy, who was a smidgen taller, said to the other one, “He is kind of a pretty boy.” “Yeah he is, car makes up for a lot of that though,” the black guy said. “Might be fun working way up here,” the white guy said. “Nice view, could be snakes.” “Don’t like snakes,” the white guy said. To me the black guy said, “Hear your wife’s the new English teacher at the High School.” “Yep,” I said. “I hear she’s a looker,” the white guy said. “Yep,” I said. They waited a second and looked at each other. “You got anything to say about that?” the black guy asked.

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“Nope. Why?” I asked. “We always ask about the wife to judge the husband’s reaction,” the white guy said. They had a funny way of taking turns speaking. It was almost like you were having a conversation with one person instead of two. “Don’t like dealing with a jealous husband,” the black guy said. “You got any questions?” “Not a question, more like a demand,” I said. “Uh oh,” the white guy said. “My wife’s a teacher, she’s not going to put up with any swearing. You okay with that?” “That’s good, she has scruples, we like that,” the black guy said. “Yeah, we like them with high scruples but low morals,” the white guy said. The black guy said, “I get that, we should be able to express ourselves in an articulate and intelligent fashion, should we not?” The white guy said, “Yes, but we may need to establish terms. Such as what is a swear word?” I wasn’t sure if they were messing with me or if they were serious. They sounded serious, but it was not ordinary contractor vernacular. Either way, I was beginning to like these guys. “You can speak to my wife about that,” I said. “But I think it has something to do with it being in the Bible.” The white guy said, “Beatles or Stones?” “Apples and oranges,” I said. “Can’t do it.” He nodded. The black guy said, “Prince or Jimi Hendrix?” “I’d have to say Prince, but can you imagine how Hendrix would be playing if he were still alive?” The black guy nodded slowly, then said to the white guy, “He’s going to be alright. The white guy said, “Here’s how it’s going to work. We each get two hundred dollars a day. You pay us in cash at the end of the day. If you don’t think were deserve two hundred at the end of the day, you pay us what you think we should get. 236


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But, you’ll get your money’s worth. If we need some outside help, like a plumber or an electrician we get two fifty a day and we pay him out of that.” “We don’t look like much, but we do good work. This is our livelihood and we don’t advertise, strictly word of mouth,” the black guy said. He stuck out his hand and I shook it. The white guy said, “One last question. Best TV cop ever?” “Joe Friday,” I said without hesitation. “Aw, man, I forgot about him.” “Who do you have?” I said. “I said the guy from NYPD Blue. The bald guy. He said Kojack.” I nodded. “Alright, we are going to walk around the house and see where we need to start tomorrow. We will bring the tools then.” They disappeared inside the house. While they were gone I looked around for some kind of vehicle. They were back in a surprisingly short amount of time. “How did you guys get here?” “Some girl dropped us off, I think her name was Brenda,” the white guy said. “No, it was Beverly,” the black guy said. “I’m pretty sure it was Brenda.” “Nope, Beverly.” “How are you getting home?” I said. “Walkin’,” the black guy said. “How far away do you live?” I said. “Long way, but we got all day.” They walked past me, side by side, down the rutted driveway. “I can give you a ride,” I said. “No thanks, this way we can clear our heads before starting a new job.” “See you about eight o’clock, Mr. Finn.” “It’s just Finn.” I said. “Hey, I didn’t ask. What are your names?”

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“I’m Squirrel,” the white guy said. “And I’m Otis, “the black guy said. “And her name was Beverly.” “Nope, Brenda.” They vanished behind the tall grass. I hung out at the house all day, basically because I had nowhere else to go. I found a legal pad in the car and sketched out a plan for the kitchen. There wasn’t a tape measure anywhere so I stepped off the distances and estimated others. Annie and I would have to pick out the finishes and colors of the cabinets, floor and backsplash together, and at least I would have an idea of what we were dealing with. I was finished with that by noon and started exploring the other two buildings. I’d seen inside the barn, but the garage was still a mystery. Terri had managed to find a key from somewhere. I slid it into a rusty slot and jiggled it until it turned. The door itself was the kind that covered two parking spaces. I twisted the T-Handle sideways and the enormous door began flipping out at the bottom and tipping toward the ceiling of the garage. Light filled the inside and revealed several woodworking machines. I recognized a couple, a router, and a table saw, but there were more I had no idea about. There were at least a dozen projects that were in various stages of completion. It was a sad picture of something started but not finished due to illness or death, or the excruciating loss of a daughter to drugs. I felt like I had walked into an unfinished day in the life of a guy that left this world unhappy. I didn’t go inside, I didn’t want to. I clicked the door down. Sometimes I could sense things I didn’t like. I would wait and walk through with Annie. The barn was a different story. I knew what was in there, at least on the ground level, and the loft was off limits. I had promised Annie I would stay off the wooden ladder until we knew it wasn’t rotted. That was fine by me especially when I was here alone. I did not want her to come and find me splattered on the floor.

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The truck was an interesting potential project. I was finding that a general contractor would slow these guys down. They didn’t need me. I spent the rest of the day locating any pieces that were truck-like and laying them out in neat rows on the barn floor. There were quite a few. With a little help from the internet I might be able to get it running.

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54 Annie came home that night tired but excited. I fixed spaghetti for dinner and we talked over her day. Some of the women wanted have a bridal shower for her, she asked them to wait until our house was finished so we could host it. Not sure where the ‘we’ came from. She was right in her element and I was happy for her. Next week at this time she would be coming home from the first day with students, I hoped she would be just as excited then I watched her leave again the next morning, drank a second cup of coffee and got ready to meet the guys at the house. I got there about eight with four crisp hundred dollar bills in my pocket. I was pleasantly surprised to see they were already there and from the looks of things they had been there a while. A dumpster had been left on one side of the courtyard and a white pickup was parked on the other side. Music was blaring from inside. An electric saw was grinding and I could hear someone pounding with a hammer. There were lights on in the kitchen which was more of a surprise because we didn’t have electricity yet. The kitchen was gutted. So was the living room and the rest of the first floor. Some places were down to the studs to allow for the new wiring. It must be demo day. I walked through and was astounded at the amount of work they had gotten through in only a few hours. A boom box was plugged into the wall. Prince belted out Purple Rain. I tapped the pause button and the sawing and hammering stopped. Squirrel’s head popped around the upstairs landing. 240


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“Mr. Finn, how you doing?” “It’s just Finn, how long have you guys been here?” “Hey, we’re here at daybreak. We take this two hundred a day seriously.” “How you doing, Mr. Finn?” Otis called out from somewhere. “It’s just Finn,” I said. “How did you get the power on?” “We know this girl Debbie at the power company. We called her last night, asked her to expedite things a little,” Squirrel said. “Her name is Della, not Debbie,” Otis yelled. Squirrel shook his head at me, “Debbie.” Even though most everything was out of the first floor there was still a lot of dust, dirt, and debris scattered all over. “If I stay out of your way, do you mind if I clean up a little down here. I could sweep and get rid of this... stuff.” “Knock yourself out,” Otis yelled. “Just hit the play button before you start.” I did and the sawing and hammering started again. I followed them the rest of the morning staying one room behind and out of their way. I enjoyed it. But by noon they were still going strong and I was getting hungry. I offered to run into town and pick up some pizza for us. They gladly accepted. The day was starting to heat up and there was no place to sit inside so we went to the barn to eat. It was cool and dark and it felt good to get away from the work inside the house. We dug the wooden picnic table out from the back and placed it beside the truck and its pieces. I found out both of them had graduated from West Virginia University, Squirrel with a degree in psychology and Otis in sociology. Neither cared much about their field of study, something I had in common with them. “It’s an honest life,” Otis said. “Feels good building something that’s going to last, working with our hands.” “Gives us time to think,” Squirrel said. “This is kind of our Walden Pond.” Kind of like guitar playing is for me, except I don’t get paid. They were conscientious about their work and the only 241


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other thing they did with the same gusto was chase girls. Before long they thanked me for the lunch and got back to work. They started tearing the porch off the front of the house. I helped carry some of the wood around the house to the dumpster keeping the boards that were not split, warped, or rotted. There weren’t many. I left at three. They wanted to work and have everything prepped for the electrician and plumber who would be there in the morning. I handed them their money. Four hundred dollars well spent. Annie got home after five, later than I expected, but she had stopped somewhere and bought steaks and fixings for a salad. We worked together in the kitchen and ate at a small table in the candlelight. She held my hand and caressed my fingers from across the table during salad. She rubbed her bare foot against my shins during the steaks. The shower in this apartment was a curtain above a huge cast iron bathtub. We made full use of the bathing facilities that night. The dishes weren’t washed until the next morning.

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55 The plumber’s name was Skeeter. The electrician was called Nemi Hemi, apparently because he had some sort of speech defect. That’s the way they introduced him and he seemed fine with it. The topic of the day, they had one every day and discussed them intellectually, was the hottest Disney princess. I chose Esmeralda, Otis had Pocahontas, Squirrel picked Snow White, and Skeeter’ choice was the Little Mermaid. That pick sent Nemi Hemi into hysterics. He said through his laughter, “How yo gonna date a ‘fith’?” That got us all laughing. He decided on Jessie from Toy Story, which had everyone crying foul because she was not strictly from Disney or close to being a princess. “Disney smithney,” he said. “That girl’s a lithe wire. Thad’s way I like ‘em.” They got to work still chuckling and I went to the garage to look at the unfinished furniture. I’d had an idea about some gainful employment, or at least a way of providing a bit of income. There was enough furniture there to keep me busy for more than a couple of months I had done a lot of the furniture at my apartment and I was a pretty quick study with my hands. I liked the thought of making something out of nothing and especially liked not looking like a house husband. Combine this with the truck renovation and I’d be working until spring.

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About halfway through the morning my cell buzzed. The number came up CITY POLICE. That always puts a jolt through a person. It was Lee asking if I wanted to play basketball that evening with a bunch of his friends. I accepted, not knowing if I could keep up with them.

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56 When I got home Annie was asleep on the couch under an afghan. Starting a new school year isn’t easy. I was sweaty and tired from playing ball so I left her there and jumped in the shower. I stood there letting the water sluice over me until I heard Annie come into the bathroom. I poked my head out of the shower and there she was, sitting cross legged on the vanity. She had changed into her pajamas which consisted of a camisole and a pair of sleeping shorts. Her hair was back in a ponytail and she was holding onto her toothbrush. “So, how was it?” she asked. “Good. Fun,” I said. “You going to go back next week?” “Yeah, I think. We’ll see if I can walk tomorrow.” “Who played?” “Lee was there,” I said. “He’s pretty good. Some other guys, I don’t remember their names. They’ve been playing there for years, so, I was the new guy. I didn’t say much, or shoot much.” “I can’t see you with a group of guys, you’re too much of a loner.” She stuck the toothbrush in her mouth. “That’s probably why I played basketball, you can go out and shoot by yourself.” She pondered that. “Want to get in?” I pulled the curtain back a bit. “Don’t think there’s room.” “Was the other night.” “Yeah, but now you’re a tired, sore basketball player.”

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“I could show you some of my moves,” I said. “I could show you my up and under.” “I think I’ve already seen that.” “Drop step? Hard sweep?” “I’ll take a rain check,” she said and was out the door.

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57 I was amazed at the progress of the house after the first week. What was once a three-month project looked more like six weeks. The weather had been good, so the guys were full speed ahead and true to their word; I did not regret paying them their money at the end of the day. To be honest I paid them at the end of my day because I always left in time to be home before Annie. They stayed way after I’d gone and were back the next morning before I got there. Annie was anxious to see how the work was progressing, but I held her off. We picked out cabinets and backsplash and wall colors online, and she was too busy that first week to argue about it. We would have gone out to look around on the first Friday night but there was a home football game and Annie volunteered to take tickets at the gate. It was fun, the whole town showed up to support the team. We sat in a tiny ticket booth and greeted everyone. Annie took the money and I peeled off the tickets. She looked terrific in the same green top and white shorts she wore to the talent show. From the adults she got a lot of “Welcome to our community” and things like, “Bobbie really likes your class.” From the students; “You look great tonight, Mrs. Finn,” or “I hope I can take one of your classes next year.” I didn’t reach into one person. Didn’t want to, didn’t have to, I could easily see she had made an impression on everyone. There is something about that first football game of the year. Under the lights with just a little nip in the air. Annie’s eyes 247


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were sparking and again for the thousandth time since I met her, I couldn’t believe my good fortune. The next morning we took our coffee and drove to the house. Annie was floored when she saw what the guys had done. The kitchen was still stripped, but the dry wall and most of the woodwork had been finished on the rest of the place. She could see what the finished product was going to look like and how it would feel to live here. She embraced me there in the living room and held tight. I could feel tears on my neck. “I could have never dreamed I would live in a house like this,” she said into my ear. Her voice was a whisper. “And to think I was worried you weren’t serious enough for this relationship to work.” I pulled back, “Me? Not serious?” “The only time you’ve worn a shirt with a collar since student teaching was our wedding.” She kissed me hard. “I was wrong, so completely wrong. I’ll never underestimate you again.” “But you were worried about that and you still married me?” I said. “Why?” “Because I love you.” She kissed me again and held me even tighter. That’s when I saw her. Bloody Annie. Looking at me from the kitchen. Blood was streaming from her head and splashing onto the floor. She stared with no expression, no movement, but as real as the Annie I was holding. I tried to blink her away but it didn’t work. Her clothing started to change. Her jeans and top were gone and now she was wearing a sheath that was totally soaked in blood. It clung to her like she was almost wearing nothing, too revealing and totally inappropriate for a vision of someone I love. “What’s wrong?” Annie said. “Huh?” I said. “You’re shaking,” she said. I didn’t say anything. “And you’re sweating.” 248


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I felt my knees start to buckle and all my weight was shifted to her. “Finn?” That was the last thing I remember until she poured the coffee on my head. *** I came to, lukewarm and sticky. She had dropped me to the floor as easily as she could, then dumped the remaining contents of her coffee on me after realizing there was no place yet to get clean water. She freaked out and was determined to take me to emergency room. It took several minutes of explaining that I was probably run down from playing ball earlier in the week. I said I had also skipped some meals and that my energy was low. I added that she had worn the daylights out of me after the football game. That made her smile, but she didn’t completely buy it. “Didn’t seem that worn out at the time,” she said. I promised that if it happened again I’d have myself checked out. It was a bargain I knew I couldn’t keep. We made more lists, filled up seven pages of notes that morning. Just about everything I could think of was listed on a time line. Annie was happy with her job and her new home and I was hoping she was just as happy with me. I was happy, except for my quick visit to the twilight zone. I couldn’t start this again, not without telling her. I couldn’t help looking back at the house as we drove down the drive, terrified I would see Annie, the bloody one, in one of the windows, watching us leave. And waiting for our return.

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58 Warren showed up at basketball the next week. Lee said he had heard I had played and was eager to get into the game. Lee tried to discourage it, but he really couldn’t stop him, it was an open gym. I realized very quickly that I could do this the right way or the wrong way. His shoes were brand new. So were his shorts, shirt, and socks. He looked like the classic kid whose mother bought the sports clothing for her son. Everyone including myself was wearing clothing that had been washed and faded dozens of times. “Looking pretty spiffy, Warren,” a guy named Don said. Another guy, big guy, said, “Must have had a sale in the Boys Department.” “Bite me Kenny,” Warren said. Everyone laughed but Warren. “We gonna shoot for teams or we just going to stand around?” We shot. I made my foul shot, I think Warren missed his on purpose just to be on the other team. “Watch your back,” Lee whispered. The game went well at first. I had a bigger guy on me and I moved naturally without the ball, so I got a lot of open shots and made them. We played to eleven and in the first game I had five of the eleven points. The next two games my guy was getting winded and I got even more clean looks and had over half our points each game. The fourth game Warren said, “Let me take Finn, if no one else can guard him.” 250


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He was about six inches shorter than me, but about thirty pounds heavier. As soon as I got the ball he was right in my chest pushing, not letting me move. If I tried to dribble he had his hand on my hip pushing me where I didn’t want to go. I tried to run him off, but he doggedly stayed right with me. I went to the basket once and he shoved me into the wall. “Come on Warren, that’s a foul,” Lee said. “We don’t play like this.” “If it’s a foul let him call it,” he said. Lee looked at me and I said, “It’s your ball,” and ran down to the other end. I wasn’t going to give Warren the satisfaction of an argument. They brought the ball down and I knew he was going to try to score. I could tell without even reaching in. He went around his guy and was charging in for an uncontested layup. I left the guy I was guarding and flew in behind him and blocked the shot against the banking board. It bounced to one of my teammates and I kept my speed and tore up the sideline toward my basket. He threw me a perfect bounce pass and I hit a short jumper. Warren didn’t make it back up the court. As we came back to play defense I ran by Warren and poked him on the tip of his nose and said, “Beep.” I probably shouldn’t have, but from then on I reached in. I knew exactly what he was going to do on offense and on defense. I switched off my man and started guarding Warren. When he started to dribble to his left I would hedge that way and steal the ball, when he was going to throw a pass I jumped the passing lane and took the ball out of the air. He wanted to block my shot so badly his mouth was watering, which made it easy for me to throw a couple of shot fakes and get him up in the air then go around him. I just didn’t beat him I made him look silly. There was one particular time I faked him out several times on the same play. After I scored and was running back on defense he threw the ball at me from the other end of the court. I knew it was coming and knew where it was going to hit me. I craned my head to the left and let the 251


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ball fly by, right where my head had been. That made everyone whistle and Warren even madder. We stopped playing after that game. Warren got his stuff and left without saying anything to anyone. The rest of us slapped hands and told each other good game. On the way to our cars Lee said, “You really rattle his cage, you know.” I hunched my shoulders and said nothing. “The guys here know he was after you tonight and if anything ever happens they’d testify to that. But, and this is a big but, that’s not going to help much if you are hurt or dead.” “I’ll be alright,” I said. “You’re way too sure of yourself. I’m going to talk to the chief, see if we can figure something out.” “Whatever,” I said. I got in my car. Lee stopped and came back. I rolled down my window, “How did you know that ball was coming at your head?” “Instinct,” I said. He thought about that, nodded then walked on to his car.

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59 I skipped breakfast the next day and got coffee and doughnuts for the guys. As I pulled in I saw Nemi’s truck parked on the courtyard. He was wiring in the kitchen. “The other thew had to go in town for painth. They said they’d be here as soonth as the store opened.” “That’s fine,” I said. “Want something to eat?” “Soonth as I get this junction seathed, “he said. A few seconds later Otis’s beater truck came up the gravel drive with a police car following closely behind. They weren’t going fast enough to kick up any dust or rock. They were just moseying along. Nemi lit out behind me and hid someplace in the house. Squirrel gave a princess wave out the passenger window as the truck made a long slow turn on the courtyard. The police car pulled in behind them and parked at an angle, as if to prevent any type of get away. Warren got out of the car, put his thumbs in his gun belt and stood there. Squirrel and Otis got out of the truck and leaned against the hood. “What do you want Warren?” I asked stepping out of the kitchen. “You’re not supposed to be up here.”“That’s what you wanted all along, isn’t it?” He smiled a knowing smile that looked fake. “You wanted to find a way to keep me from exposing your drug ring.” I had to laugh. “What are you talking about?” “I did some checking,” he said. “You paid cash for this house. Who at your age, without a job, could do that?” “He’s got a point,” Squirrel said to Otis. Otis nodded. 253


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“There is doughnuts and coffee inside,” I said. “Don’t you two move,” Warren said. He put his hand on his gun. “Look,” Otis said to Squirrel, “It’s a miniature cop,” he said in his best Burt Reynolds. They paid no attention to him. “I get the cream filled,” Otis said. “You got the cream filled last time,” Squirrel said. They went in and let the door slam behind them, but they were right back out with a drink and doughnut in each hand. “I said not to leave. That’s evading arrest,” Warren said. “Why you bustin’ on us?” Otis jerked a thumb at me. “He’s the one with the drug ring.” They went back to leaning on the truck “Thanks,” I said. Otis stopped chewing and smiled. “Get out of here Warren, unless you have a warrant,” I said. “That would make it a Warren warrant, wouldn’t it,” Squirrel said. They giggled. “We like alliteration,” Otis said. Warren appeared not to. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nemi running a kind of spastic sprint from the other side of the house to the garage. He was hunched over and running like he was avoiding sniper fire. Otis saw him also and stood up straight, drawing Warren’s attention. Nemi disappeared behind the garage. I had no idea what he was doing. Warren turned his focus to Otis and Squirrel. “I figure I’ll put the squeeze on you two first, see what you know. You don’t look like you have friends in high places like this one does.” He jerked his head in my direction. “We ARE on the lower level of crime bosses,” Squirrel said. “Disappointing,” Otis said. Squirrel looked at me and said, “I’d like to be in charge of human trafficking.” Otis said, “You got to be in charge last time.” “Yeah, but that was drugs, you can be in charge of drugs.”Nemi was scampering again. Warren was between us 254


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and his car which left a clear path for Nemi to sprint from the garage toss something in the backseat of the police car, and run back behind the garage. “Oh boy,” Otis said. The stink bomb lit with a loud fizz. Warren turned around just as a cloud of yellow smoke rolled out of the back windows. “What the hell did you do?” Warren yelled. The cloud that rolled toward us was bad, I mean really bad. We had the good sense to act just as surprised as Warren. He ran to the front of the car then to the back, then to the front again. He tucked his nose into the top of his shirt. “You did this!” he yelled at me. Otis said, “Yep, he lobbed that right over your head into the partially opened window without you seeing him.” “Now you’re going to be in real trouble with the Chief. That’s defiling public property,” Warren growled. “He’ll never know,” I said. “You don’t think I’m going to report this?” “Nope,” I said. “Because you’re not supposed to be here, reporting this will get you fired.” “Not going to be a pleasant ride home,” Otis said. The bomb had fizzled out leaving a horrible sulfur smell. Warren gave us one last supposedly intimidating look, pulled a clean handkerchief out of his pocket, held it to his nose, and got in the car. All four windows rolled down instantly. “Like a doughnut to take with you?” Squirrel asked. Warren peeled out and shot down the driveway throwing gravel in all directions. We heard him thump onto the pavement and accelerate down the highway. Nemi came out from behind the garage and stood with us. “That man always was a stinker,” he said. We all fell down laughing. *** Within two weeks’ time the wiring and plumbing were finished, the flooring was down, and the painting nearly finished. 255


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I painted and did some of the finishing of the woodwork. The house smelled of paint and newness and fresh beginnings. My favorite place was the front porch. We had placed a swing on one side of the front door and a couple of chairs on the other. The view was everything I’d hoped it would be Annie was getting increasingly excited and stopped by every couple of days after school. She was adjusting to her work load and new environment and she liked the people she worked with. She had made a couple of friends I had not met yet but was sure I would when we had our open house, or whatever it was going to be. September was turning into October and soon the house would be ours. Little did we know that by the time the warm weather was back, our lives would have changed forever.

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60 Annie came home one night with some exciting news for me. A teacher at the school had gotten a new desk. Annie saw the maintenance guys carrying out the old one and asked what they were going to do with it. They told her they were taking it to the warehouse. When she inquired about that she was told that the warehouse was full of discarded school furniture. Cabinets, desks, chairs. All old and wooden. She was excited. “Now, maybe you can start that business. We can sell on the internet.” The next day I went to talk to the guy in charge. The stuff was piling up and the only thing he was allowed to do with it was throw it away. Without board approval he couldn’t sell it, and they weren’t going to approve it because the Board of Ed. did not want to start a retail furniture business. So we made a deal. Every week before the garbage trucks emptied the dumpster in the back of the building, he would set out two or three pieces. There is no law about dumpster diving here. If I wanted the pieces I could take them and if I didn’t I’d let them go with the garbage. He got to free up some space in the warehouse and I had material to work with. I did some research on the internet and found that some of the furniture I would have access to, was selling for big bucks, if they were painted funky colors and patterns. I thought I could do that, the business part I would have to learn.

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The snag to the whole deal was getting the pieces from the warehouse to my workshop. I had to get the truck finished, or at least running.

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61 The truck and the house were both finished the third week of October. All in all, I spent close to four thousand dollars on the truck and two hundred thousand on the house. The truck was primer black with red wheels and baby moons. The money was spent on seats and tires and a lot of wiring which had to be done at a body shop. That was beyond me. Lee made the introduction and told the guy not to overcharge me. People seemed to listen to Lee. The engine ran like a top. The garage guy had suggested a throaty kind of exhaust that sounded hard core gear head. Annie hired some of the guys from her classes to help us move on a brilliant Saturday afternoon. For a couple hundred dollars we got ten guys for the day. Lee brought his truck over and we used my new/old truck to carry the lighter loads. The high school guys were impressed with my truck, but much more impressed with my wife. I couldn’t blame them. Annie labeled all the boxes in the apartment and in the storage room, so she stood at the doorway in the new house and pointed people in the right direction. Everyone, specifically, Lee, was blown away by the house and what had been done to it.

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62 When we finished I said, “Forget the unpacking, let’s sit on the porch.” The air had a fall chill. “I know which box has the blankets,” she said and was gone. Something fluttered by the porch, probably a bat. The night was nippy and clear. She snuggled in next to me and I put my arm around her. We swung. “This is perfect,” she said. “A little slice of heaven,” I said. We rocked back and forth gently. “I’m not sure I deserve you,” she said. “Are you kidding? Why would you say something like that?” “I’m just teaching, going to work every day and then I get to come home to all this. You did all this. You made it happen.” A year ago I would have said something stupid, something that would have turned the conversation away from any kind of emotion. But, being a married man and a first time home owner, I paused and thought. “Yeah, I did. But, you made me. Because of you, people don’t see me as a punk anymore. I don’t feel like a punk any more. Most of the time at least.” We kept rocking. She snuggled a little closer and rested her head on my shoulder. “How many other couples are as happy as we are?” she asked. “Don’t know.” 260


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“I feel bad for people who aren’t this happy,” she said. “Remember what Cleatus said, “There are people who look at stars and there are people who don’t.” “We look at stars.” “Yep,” I said. A car rolled by on the street below us. We could hear the sound of the engine and the swoosh of the tires on the pavement. Charlie 2015 The machine noises in his head were beginning to quiet. At worst they were like the smooth sound of a sewing machine. In the past the noise was so great he thought the tissue was being ripped from the inside of his brain. Relief would come by hammering nails into his temples and fastening his brain in its proper position. Or by going on the hunt. But now, the Lizard Brain was quiet. It had gone into hibernation and left Charlie to fend for himself. A brother who had slipped out and disappeared into the night, never to return. He missed its companionship and the confidence it gave him. It balanced out his need to kill and the need for safety. Without one he could do neither. He had been killing for forty years now, close to a hundred girls. The families that had been destroyed increased exponentially with each disappearance. He was going to get away with all of it, clean as a whistle. He was proud of that. He had driven tens of thousands of miles with bodies in the van. Not once had he been stopped during a night run to the marsh. There had not been a photograph or a description of him or his murder mobile. The police had not one shred of evidence that there had been a crime in any of the disappearances. He was very good at killing, world class, and did well at the junk yard, but he wasn’t a smart man. Everything he knew came from the thirty acre sprawl of metal encircling his home and the inside of his van. He had no friends or family. The only thing he could remotely call a pet were the vultures whom he fed regularly. There was no one to learn from, so he didn’t learn.

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The only mistake he had almost made was finding a partially eaten hand by the river bank. A vulture had decided to fly off to have a meal by its self and dropped it into the trees. He was lucky that time, but luck was always part of the Lizard Brain relationship. Invincibility only comes to people who believe they have it. He tossed the hand into the marsh and watched it sink. Charlie was closing in on sixty but he was still built like a battle ship. His hair was now a buzz cut, nothing intense or fierce like it once was styled. Most of the day he wore a faded baseball cap with the ZoSo logo on the front. He still gave a steely eyed look to customers and scrapers alike, but he got along. People still shied away at the super market. He looked like a hard case, not a crazy. Now his needs had waned and his ability diminished, normality seemed certain. He regretted nothing. He was a man who had wed a hundred brides then buried each one in a bottomless, rotting pond. He slept deeply and soundly.

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63 We spent time on the porch nearly every evening. The leaves were turning and the dusk settled in earlier each night. That was my favorite time of day, just Annie and I on top of our hill. There was always a crispness in the air and we covered and cuddled and switched between coffee and hot chocolate. We talked about her day, my day, and God. We discussed just about everything. I got in the habit of bringing some wood out with us and whittling with Cleatus’ knife. He was right. There was something to it that you can’t explain to anyone who hasn’t done it. We had settled in to our new life well. With the exception of Warren, we had made friends and adapted perfectly. I hadn’t looked into anyone’s mind and didn’t feel the need to. We were June and Ward Cleaver without Wally and Bev. The Null’s invited us for Thanksgiving dinner. Cleatus was marginally more talkative. He liked that fact I was redoing old furniture and working with my hands and realized I wasn’t after Annie just because she was beautiful and gainfully employed. Annie told him I had wood shavings piling up in front of the porch. I reached in my back pocket and pulled out the knife he had given me. “I don’t go anywhere without it,” I said. “See that you don’t,” he said looking down at his turkey and gravy. “Maybe someday you might want to pass it down to a son of your own,” he looked up with a raised eyebrow. “Maybe,” I said. 263


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A tiny smile passed over Annie’s lips. December brought the first snow. We started parking all three vehicles in the barn along with the furniture from the front porch and all of my stuff that was either finished or ready to be painted. Space there was not a problem, the place was huge. We decorated the house as best as we could. Many of the plants in the landscaping weren’t large enough to light with Christmas bulbs, we’d have to wait a couple of years for that. We put pine around the door, windows, and banisters then stuck white lights throughout. The house looked nice from the road, day or night. We only had a few decorations for the inside. Annie said Christmas decorations should have memories attached to them, so just going out and buying things wasn’t the way we were going to do things. We would shop together after the holidays when everything was seventy percent off. The last part didn’t follow the logic for me. I guess fighting for a marked down decoration with a scruffy old woman was a memory for Annie. We did start, what I hoped would be a Christmas tradition for. We marched off on a snowy Saturday morning and chopped down our own Christmas tree. We owned a lot of property we had not seen yet. Lee told me there were game trails that were easy to follow. He had hunted the area when he was a kid and a lot of others had been around since the previous family had left. He knew by talking to people around town what was passable and what wasn’t. The snow was barely coming down when we left, but by the time we went a few hundred yards it was gathering on the tree branches and parts of the ground. The wind was blowing through the trees and I was starting to think this was a bad idea. We walked a little further and came across a grove of pine trees. I thought enough ahead to bring an ax, but that was the limit of my woodsman skills. I wasn’t sure if I could find the way back to the house.

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The snow was really pouring by then and it made it difficult to choose a nice tree. We walked around the grove shouting to each other over the wind and snow. After another ten minutes we had picked a tree and brought it down. “Now what?” Annie said. “I guess we drag it back.” “We?” Annie said. “Yep. Wouldn’t be Christmas without teamwork,” I said. So we each grabbed a limb and started pulling. We dragged it bottom first so the branches wouldn’t be pulling against us. I had the ax in my left hand and a limb in my right. Luckily the inch of snow that had already accumulated made it much easier to pull the tree along. I shouted to Annie, “Looks like we need to invest in a four wheeler.” “I don’t know. This is kind of fun.” At first I thought she was being sarcastic. But when I looked over at her, she was smiling that dazzling smile and her eyes were sparking through the snow. I dropped the tree and the ax, ran around the tree, and kissed her. “Remember kissing in the snow?” That first night at my apartment?” She kissed me back. Hard. Hard and long. I took that as an indication she remembered. An hour later we pulled the snow covered tree into the barn. I had added the biggest electric heater I could find and permanently vented it outside. It wasn’t powerful enough to heat the whole barn, but it kept the temperature well above freezing. We left the tree there and went into our house, kicking the snow off our boots. “We might want to also invest in a hot tub,” I said. “That would be pretty great about now.” “Take your clothes off,” she said as she began peeling off her coat and shirt. “Huh?” I said ever so articulate. 265


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“You’re dripping all over the floor.” She was right. I had about an inch of snow on my shoulders and my pants were encrusted from my knee down. She slipped out of her pants revealing a very scantily clad body. “We don’t have a hot tub, but we do have a rather large tub we can fill with hot water.” She turned and ran upstairs. I nearly broke my neck getting out of my snowy jeans.

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64 This was my favorite Christmas Eve ever. We had flank steak and baked potatoes for dinner and pumpkin pie for desert. Around six, car horns started blaring down on the road. There were five car loads of kids spilling out and lining up on the side of the road. They were the Quiet Dale Choir. I pulled a comforter off the couch and we went to the porch while they sang “Holy Night” and “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” Neither one of us had shoes on and we shook under the comforter and clapped appreciatively. They sounded good even from that far away and we were touched that they would venture this far away from town to sing for us. When they finished several yelled, “Merry Christmas, Mrs. Finn!” I still got a tingle when I heard her name out loud. We watched two movies and had popcorn. My choice was “It’s A Wonderful Life” and Annie’s was, “One Magic Christmas.” We both got a little weepy at the end of each. Then we went to bed. That may sound boring, but spending time with Annie was always magical. Christmas morning we exchanged gifts. We sat in front of the Christmas tree. She was wearing blue striped boyfriend pajamas that fit her perfectly. I could smell coffee wafting in from the kitchen. I bought her some school clothes earlier and saved them for Christmas. I also ordered some lingerie (a teachers husband has to be careful) and wrapped them myself, something that I was 267


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pretty proud of. To be honest they were as much a gift for me as they were for her. She handed me an envelope with a hand drawn Christmas tree on it. Inside was a loaded gift card for the local music shop. I was kind of confused. “So now you can take guitar lessons,” she said. I didn’t know what to say. Then she slapped me on the shoulder, “I’m just kidding. I thought you might like a sound system for your workshop and I wouldn’t know what to buy. We can go pick it out together.” “Whew, I was afraid you didn’t like my playing. I was kind of hurt.” “You moron, I was there when you brought the house down.” She gave me a peck on the cheek then stood up, “I have one more thing. She disappeared upstairs and I could hear her going into the extra bedroom. She came back down carrying a huge flat box. She was grinning ear to ear as she handed it to me. I put it on my lap and started unwrapping. When I opened the box I could tell it was a large picture but it was upside down. I flipped the frame over and saw what it was. Then I looked up at Annie. She had tears welling in her eyes. “Do you remember all the cell phone flashes?” I did, but barely. It was us, holding each other the night of the talent show. Our first dance. I stood and held her for a while. “It just happens that I have one more gift also,” I said and left her there and went out to the barn. I didn’t linger in my sweats and tee shirt because it was freezing. I slipped on a pair of tennis shoes and the snow was spilling down the sides. I got back and handed Annie a box the size of a basketball. “Be careful, don’t drop it,” I said. She took her time and unwrapped gently. When she lifted it out of the box her eyes filled again.

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It was a large snow globe, with two figures kissing in a snow storm, under a traffic light. “I think we are kind of on the same wave length,” I said. She was totally taken back. “Where did you find this?” “I made it,” I said. “How? It’s so perfect?” “The globe part is a kit, but I ordered the traffic light and poles from a model train magazine. I ordered the people too, but I had to paint them to look like us.” “This is amazing,” she said looking closer. “We even have little footprints in the snow.” “I made the street out of carbon fiber, dug out the footprints, then painted it white.” “Can I shake it?” “Oh yeah,” I said. “But not very hard.” She shook it and the world was filled with tiny white magic. “Now we have some Christmas memories to put out each year.” She hugged me like she was never letting go.

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65 In Annie’s mind the school year was like a parade with each week being a different float and theme. Valentine’s Day was normally the only bright spot in January and February. The Student Council sold flowers to be delivered to whomever on the fourteenth. I sent Annie a half a dozen through another teacher at school. I thought it would be a surprise. She came home with nearly three dozen. My half dozen looked puny compared to the thirty she had received from secret admirers so I spent a couple of hours making a wooden paper weight in the shape of a heart. It was kind of juvenile but she seemed to like it and said she would keep it on her desk. March flew by and everyone’s attention started focusing on the Prom and Graduation, in that order. The weather turned from winter to spring in the blink of an eye. The ground began thawing out. I allowed the computer teacher at Quiet Dell to give a class free reign to create the web site for my furniture. They started after Valentine’s Day and finished near the end of March. It looked great and allowed the customers to ask me questions and get quick responses easily. A business class helped me with the marketing and promoting, something I knew nothing about. We posted creative pictures on the web site and got a lot of response. I had several teacher desks I had finished differently and we photographed them in odd places. I kept all the tops natural, just sanded and polyurethane to highlight the beautiful wood. One photograph was of a fire engine red desk on a pallet surrounded by snow. 270


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Another photo showed a green desk covered with lighter green chevrons in my barn surrounded by hay. One kid suggested we put Annie in a bikini on a desk, but that idea didn’t get off the ground. As the weather got nicer the prospect of yard and estate sales grew greater. That, would help vary my stock of school furniture and give me a wider market. I had settled into such a groove I didn’t know what it would be like to have Annie around all day once the summer break started. I only know that I was looking forward to it. I was hoping to get some of the merchandise stockpiled so we could spend a lot of time together. *** Like any typical weekday evening, we shared in the preparation of dinner. But unlike most evenings, Annie seemed preoccupied. She was usually bubbly but tonight she was in her own little world quiet and subdued. When we actually ate, I made the conversation. She tried to hold up her end but her thoughts and sentences dribbled off. I was tempted to reach in and see if I could get a sniff of what was bothering her, but I had promised. It had been so long I wasn’t sure if I could still do it. After I cleaned up the kitchen I went out to my workshop to check to see if the paint was drying properly on a couple of pieces. Annie was working on some school stuff at the kitchen table. The paint didn’t look the way I wanted so I sanded them again and lost track of time. By the time I left the garage it was dark out and most of the kitchen lights were off. That was so unlike Annie. It was a few minutes after ten when I crawled into bed beside her. I could tell she was still awake. “What’s wrong,” I said. “Nothing really. I have an appointment tomorrow so I’m taking a half day.” “What Kind of appointment? Do you want me to go with you?” 271


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“No, it’s fine, I’ll probably stop at the library tomorrow afterward. I need to get some children’s books for a class.” “What kind of appointment? I asked again. “We’ll talk about it when I get home tomorrow.” “Listen I said that I would never reach in to see what you were thinking, but you have to be honest with me. Something is bothering you.” “You’re going to have to trust me. I promise we will talk about this tomorrow when I get home. I love you.” She turned over and that was the end of it. “I love you too,” I said. It was Thursday night, once she had this appointment on Friday we would have all weekend to talk about it. *** The next morning she seemed somewhat better. She even laughed a couple of times as she was getting ready, which made me feel better. She packed her lunch, gave me a kiss and left. I watched her drive away. A feeling of foreboding washed over me. I wished I had held her longer, told her that I loved her again. Then, as if right behind me, I heard a wild piercing laugh. I spun around only to find nothing there. I tried to rationalize the laugh. Then I tried to rationalize Annie’s behavior. I couldn’t. During the night I tried to build a story around Annie’s conduct. There was only one that made sense, Annie was pregnant. The appointment was to make sure. The reason she was unhappy was me. I thought I wanted kids, but I had skirted around the idea every time she brought it up. I kind of liked the idea of kids, but not now. Not yet. I wasn’t positive I wanted a kid if they inherited my gift. I was able to endure it, but could they? Was it fair? I thought about that for about an hour and realized Annie was struggling with this on her own. I didn’t want that under

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any circumstances, so I decided to call and leave a message that I was with her no matter what the problem was. She wouldn’t answer her cell during class, so I thought I would leave a message in the office and have an office assistant take it to her. I called the school and asked if I could leave the message. The girl checked then told me that Mrs. Finn was absent today, she could take the message and get it to her tomorrow. I asked her to check again and she said no that she had Mrs. Finn the first period of the day and there was a substitute there. I tried her phone. It went straight to voice mail. Annie had lied. She was gone and I had no way to find her.

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66 The rest of the day was kind of blur. I tried to work but I couldn’t concentrate. I checked the clock about every two minutes. I kept the phone beside me and called her cell every thirty minutes. At noon I fixed myself a sandwich and tried to calm myself. I thought about driving around town and to see if her car was parked at any of the doctors’ offices, but then I wouldn’t be home to answer the phone in case she called. I decided to force myself to work on something that wouldn’t make noise, so I painted and stained instead of sanding and drilling. And I waited. If she was pregnant I would have thought she would have been a kind of happy nervous, not withdrawn and on edge. So maybe that wasn’t it. After a couple of hours the only thing I knew for sure was I had a mammoth headache. I called Mrs. Null, but she wasn’t available and I left a message for her to call me back. The school day was nearly over and if Annie was telling the truth she would be heading to the Library. But, she hadn’t told the truth about anything else so why should I believe that too? I decided to head over there as soon as I heard back from Mrs. Null. When the phone rang I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Annie?” I said instead of hello. “No. This is Mrs. Null.” I explained the situation to Mrs. Null. She seemed to share my concern. “Have you two been getting along?” 274


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I told her things had been going well for us, the house was good and my business was good, Annie was really happy at school. She asked if she wanted me to call the police. I hesitated. She wasn’t really late, she told me she was going to the library after her appointment. Even in my increasingly paranoid world she still was following the timeline she had given me. Technically. “No, let’s wait,” I said. “I’ll call you when she comes home.” That was a mistake. *** By six o’clock I was panicking. I got in the car and took off for the library which was a good twenty minutes away. It felt like an hour. The sodium vapor lights were on when I pulled into the empty lot. I’m not sure if I even hit a space, I stopped the car and got out. I don’t remember going through the door. The girl at the desk was startled as I came in. She looked young, but old enough to be out of high school. “Do you know Mrs. Finn?” “No,” she said. I could see I was frightening her. I lowered my voice and spoke softer. “She’s a teacher at the high school, I’m her husband and she left her cell phone at home and I’m trying to find her to give it back. She probably doesn’t know she left it.” “Yeah, I know who she is, my sister goes to Quiet Dell. But I don’t know what she looks like.” I fished a picture out of my wallet. “Here this is what she looks like.” The girl stared across the counter at the picture. She noticed my hand was shaking. “No,” she said. “Look again,” I yelled. “Look closer.” She jerked when I raised my voice. “Listen Mister, there hasn’t been one person in here since I got here Aaron five o’clock. It’s been dead. 275


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I took a deep breath and tried to relax. “Okay sorry, I didn’t mean....” I stuck the wallet back in my pocket and headed for the door. “I hope you find her,” she said, “I hear she’s nice.” “Thanks,” I said and shuffled out the door. I got in the car and tried her cell again. Nothing. I drove even faster on the way home. I passed a couple of cars when I shouldn’t have. I started mulling over the horror of going to bed without her. If she wasn’t home when I got there I was calling the police. When I rounded the last turn before our driveway I glanced up at our house. There were lights on in the front room. I was pretty sure I hadn’t left any on. I started to feel some relief. No, it was more than relief, it was pure joy. As I turned onto our driveway my headlights flashed across the reflectors of a car parked on the side of the road about two hundred years away. Any concerns about that didn’t register due to my exploding euphoria over Annie. I zoomed up the drive and saw Annie’s car parked there in the courtyard. It took only seconds to get out of the car and through the door. From the kitchen I could see Annie standing in the front room. She didn’t look right. She was pale and her eyes looked swollen. I didn’t slow down, I opened the back door and strode through the kitchen. “Annie?” I said. She looked at me, then away into the corner, then back at me. “RUN!” she yelled. I didn’t react fast enough. I saw movement to my right and then, BANG. The back of my skull shattered in pain. I heard Annie screaming through the fireworks erupting in my head. I managed a couple more steps then collapsed into front room.

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67 I remembered being covered in blood and a phone ringing somewhere in the distance. It rang over and over, then there were people in in my house. Lee was there I think, I vaguely remember him yelling at some of the people. Then there was jostling and riding in an ambulance. I think I threw up on someone. I yelled constantly for Annie but she never answered. Or maybe I was just screaming in my head. Now the only thing I could hear was the constant beep of a heart monitor. And if I listened carefully I could hear the soft hiss of air conditioning. My tongue felt like an old catcher’s mitt that had been left in the sun. I tried to work some spit up to lick my lips but I couldn’t. I opened my eyes to see what I expected, a generic hospital room. As I tried to lift my head a bolt of pain encircled my skull and shot down my spine. I felt around blindly hoping to find a call button on the bed. I did and I pushed it. Seconds later there were two nurses in the room closely followed by another. One put my finger in some sort of clamp and another placed a blood pressure cuff on my other arm. For the first time I noticed I had an IV. “Where’s Annie?” I croaked. The two nurses taking the reading ignored me. The third one handed me a Styrofoam cup with ice water and a straw. She said, “She’s been moved to another hospital.” “She’s all right?” I asked, praying for the right answer. “Critical,” she said. “Becky,” one of the other nurses said. 277


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“He deserves to know.” “Just saying,” the nurse taking blood pressure said. “Has anyone gotten a hold of Dr. Darmelio?” “On his way,” the other nurse said. “We’re not supposed to tell you anything that’s not related to your medical condition,” Becky said. “Why?” I asked. “Because you are a suspect,” she said. “What kind of suspect?” “A suspect in the attack of your wife.” she said. *** A few minutes later the doctor came in and shone a light in my eyes and did some other simple tests. He clicked the light off and put it back in the pocket of his lab coat. “You have a concussion, possibly from the hit you took from the back or when you head hit the floor. Or both.” I reached up and touched the area above my left eye. I was sore. I felt stitches across the length of my eyebrow. “You’ve got fifteen stitches there. He looked at the chart he was holding. “You have another thirty-five on the back of your head where you possibly have a skull fracture. The x ray was inconclusive, we haven’t had time for a MRI. “What about Annie?” I said. “Mr. Finn are you a drug user?” Dr. Darmelio asked. “Tell me about my wife!” “She’s not here. She’s been moved to another facility, we’re not equipped here to serve her needs?” “What needs?” “Mr. Finn your wife is in a coma.” The nurses recorded my stats and wrote some things on the dry erase board on the wall, then they left. Dr. Darmelio stayed. “She has a concussion like you, only in her case it’s causing her brain to swell. The next few hours are going to be tough.”

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I closed my eyes and tried to let that sink in. I couldn’t, it wouldn’t take. I could only picture Annie and her normal bubbly self. I felt tears running down my cheeks. “Mr. Finn.” Dr. Darmelio said. “Just Finn,” I said. “Okay Finn, are you or your wife drug users?” “No,” I said. “You were found with large doses of Meth Amphetamine and LSD in your blood. Lethal levels. “None of this makes sense,” I said. “There are a lot of things not making sense. I do know you are a very lucky man. The drugs could have killed you and the head injury should have killed you.” I didn’t feel lucky. Not with Annie in a coma.

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68 Lee came in a few minutes later. I think it was a few minutes. I was having bouts of spontaneous nap time. He was followed by a big guy, who was clearly Lee’s father, the chief. “Lee, I got to get out of here, I have to see Annie,” I said before he could say anything. “Slow down,” he said. I tried to sit up straighter but the pain in my head lit me up like a Christmas tree. “Whoa,” I said. “Let me help,” his dad said. He worked the control to raise me up, which made me a little dizzy. I tried not to show it. “We’ve just been to see her,” Lee said. “The best thing you can do is get yourself well,” “Is she okay? Can I talk to her?” “She’s in a coma. The doctors say that is the best thing for her right now. She didn’t go into it herself, the doctors induced it. Lee’s dad didn’t say anything, he just watched me. Lee wore his regular uniform. The Chief wore a camel colored blazer and navy pants, white shirt and striped tie. “Tell me what happened,” Lee said. I explained everything from Thursday evening until the time I woke up. Both Lee and his dad listened without interrupting, nodding at a couple of things I said. He asked for the approximate times I talked to the school, Mrs. Null, and the girl at the Library. He wrote them down on a little pad. 280


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“So, am I a suspect?” Lee’s dad said, “We’re just trying to lock down some things. Being the spouse, we need to first prove that it wasn’t you.” “You know it wasn’t me,” I said to Lee. “I know, and dad doesn’t think so either, but we have other implications that concern the Police Dept. It may affect your life here in Quiet Dell. “Like what? You were found with some big time drugs in your system and a knife in your hand. The knife that was used to stab Annie.” “Annie was stabbed?” “Several times, all non-life-threatening. I felt sick to my stomach. “And we have the problem of you and I,” he said. “What problem?” “We’re friends. Half the town knows it.” Lee’s dad said, “The paper ran a story, kind of hinted we might look the other way because of your relationship. They mentioned Lee was my son, something everybody knows anyhow. “They claim to have an inside source who is giving out details, like the drugs and the knife. But the source is only giving the damning details, not the ones that would make you look innocent.” “When did this story come out?” I asked. “Sunday, our paper only comes out on Sunday and Wednesday.” “What day is it?” I asked. “Monday. You’ve been out for two days.” Annie, clinging on to life since Friday night and I’ve been sleeping. There was a knock on the open door. A nurse came in. “There are some reporters outside. They want to come in and talk to Mr. Finn.” Lee stood and looked out the window. “Charleston TV van.” “Let me handle it,” Lee’s dad said. 281


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When he was gone I said. “Okay, tell me what you know.” Lee got up and closed the door. “I want to know we are going to find out who did this. I don’t want you to think we are playing politics, but in a small town we have to be careful. If one person knows something everyone does. Even if it’s not true. People make up their minds before they get all the facts.” “I don’t care about any of that, I want to see Annie.” “We can’t just let you walk out of here, Dad would never get reelected and I would not be trusted again. You wouldn’t be able to walk through town, not now, not ten years from now.” I could see his point, I just didn’t care. He could see that, so he stopped trying to explain. “Alright. Here’s what we know. At the crime scene there were three different sets of bloody footprints. One of them is Annie’s, so we know you were bleeding before her. You could have been bleeding and chasing her around and she could have stepped in your blood but the tracks don’t indicate that. Your blood is on her clothing but hers isn’t on yours. It looks like she came over and held you after you were out.” “How did someone find us?” “Mrs. Null,” he said. “After you called her, she waited to hear back from you, which she didn’t. Apparently she fell asleep in a chair and held on to the phone all night. When she woke up the next morning she tried calling you several times and then she called me.” “What about the drugs?” I said. “Doc checked you over. No signs of past needle marks or any drug paraphernalia on the property. Looks like somebody did a poor job of try to set you up for murder.” “They tried to murder Annie?” “Looks like it. We know she fell and hit her head on the coffee table. We have blood and tissue to prove that. Then they took the knife, stabbed her with it, and put it in your hand.” “Why?” “We don’t know. Anybody after her? Anybody she hasn’t been getting along with?” 282


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“You know Annie,” I said. “Everybody loves her.” I shifted uncomfortably, the medication was wearing off. “There was this kid though, she kind of got the credit for putting him away. He was making bombs. His name was Kevin, but I forget his last name.” I was beginning to slur my words The nurse came in, checked my vitals, and give me some fresh ice water. “You shouldn’t stay too long, Mr. Finn needs his rest,” she said. “It’s just Finn,” I said. I was getting sleepy again. “I’ll check on this guy Kevin,” he said as he stood. My eyes were starting to close. “Hey, Lee,” I said. “Yeah?” “You gotta get me out of here,” I mumbled. “Hang in there, Finn. I’m working on it.” I couldn’t answer him back, I was already out.

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69 The next day I felt a hundred per cent better. My head and neck were sore but the throbbing pain was gone. The strangeness I felt, which must have been the lingering effects of the drugs, had faded. I still had stitches over my eye and the back of my head was shaved and felt like it was stitched like a baseball. Mrs. Null called and asked if there was anything she could do. She had a nurse or two in school that were working at Annie’s hospital and she would kept me abreast of what was going on there. I said I would let her know if I needed anything. Dr. Darmelio seemed like a good guy, but I wanted out, and I started pestering him. I called the nurses every few minutes to see when I would be released. They got tired of me. When the Doc came on Tuesday I started in on him. “A concussion shouldn’t keep you in the hospital this long, should it?” I said. “You’ve been bothering the nurses,” he said. “You gotta get me out of here.” “You had more than just a concussion, you could have had a...” I cut him off. “Let’s get a MRI then. If I’m good I get to go. I personally don’t think I have a fractured skull.” “You’re a doctor now?” “No, but look. When I got hit I was moving forward pretty quickly. Most of the momentum of the blow was dissipated because I was moving away from it.” “That is a coherent and impressive response,” he said. “It doesn’t hold water, but it’s impressive.” 284


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“Get me an MRI,” I said. “When would you like it?” he said. “Now,” I said. “How about this afternoon?” “Great,” I said. He walked out shaking his head. *** They rolled me back from the MRI with the clanging and banging still echoing through my ears. They had switched me to Extra Strength Tylenol that morning and had taken me off everything else. I figured if that was all they were giving me, I could do that at home. I knew the MRI was coming back negative, so what was the use of staying the night. I wanted to see Annie. So I untapped my IV and pulled it out. Clothes were a problem. Mine were nowhere to be found. They probably discarded them because of the blood. I slipped out of my room and started opening up doors that didn’t look like patient rooms. I found one that said STAFF ONLY. Just like in the movies. Inside were lockers and benches. There was a barrel of worn scrubs from the OR. Most of which looked pretty bad. I had to dig through to the bottom to find a matching top and pants that would fit. I found a cap that smelled like Aqua Velva. Then I walked out. I don’t think I did anything illegal. I probably should have signed some papers but that takes forever. The street lights were on and the sun was setting. My options were decreasing. I could steal a car to get to Annie, or I could rob someone and get a cab. I had only seen one cab in Quite Dell since moving here and that was Bennie. I don’t think he rolled after dark. He mostly took little old ladies to church, the super market, and to get their hair done. I ambled down the corridor and out the door. The hospital was only a few blocks from downtown. Downtown was not a hopping place, say, after five o’clock. But the police station was there and I would have to take my 285


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chances on who was on duty, Warren, or Lee, or another one of Quiet Dell’s finest. I walked in, hands in the pockets of my scrubs, and started shouting hello. I stood in front of the bullet proof glass and waited for someone to come up to the window. The set up was basically like a one windowed bank. Nobody came and I waited. I started whistling. Finally a bull necked cop I didn’t know came to the window and seemed surprised to see me. “What can I do for you?” he said. His voice was gravely. “Did you hear me whistling?” I asked. “Yeah, it sounded great. What can I do for you?” “I’m here to give myself up,” I said. “It must be my lucky day,” he said. “This ever happened to you before?” “No, most of our business here is over the phone. We don’t get too many walk-in customers.” “I need a ride,” I said. “We don’t give rides.” “To serve and protect,” I said. “We don’t give rides.” “I’m interested in the serve part. “We don’t give rides.” “I need to get to a hospital.” “The hospital is a couple of blocks down the street. Walk.” “I need to get to another hospital,” I said. “Mental?” “Nope, I need to see a patient.” “You a doctor?” “Yep,” I said. “I haven’t seen you around.” “I’m Dr. Swartz.” “We don’t give rides.” “This is very vexing,” I said. “Vexing?” “Let’s see if we can hasten this process, if that’s still possible.” 286


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“I’m all ears,” he said. “Could you call my friend Lee and tell him that Dr. Swartz would like to see him?” He stared at me. “Call him at home if you like, I’m sure he won’t mind.” I said. “Can’t do it,” he said. “Why not?” “He isn’t home, he’s in his squad car. “Well, call him there. This is official police business,” I said. “Right,” he said. And he did. Plastic chairs lined the two opposing walls in the little room. I sat in one and waited for Lee. It took some time for him to get there, but after a while his car pulled up outside at the curb. I met him on the sidewalk. “Why aren’t you in the hospital?” he said. “I got out,” I said. “They let you out?” “No, I got out, like I slipped out. Snuck out the door. Or is it sneaked?” “I’ve got to take you back,” he said. “No, they were keeping me there against my will, but I refuse to press charges.” “Are you all right? You’re talking like Groucho Marx.” “I guess I’m reverting back to my old self without Annie,” I said. “Drive me up to see her.” He looked at his watch, “I knew this was coming,” he said. “Look, I busted out of the joint just to get a peep at her,” I said. “Jeeze, okay. Just quit talking like that.” We got in the car. Lee talked into to a microphone with a squiggly cord. “Bull, I’m going to finish my shift then head home. Let me know if you need me.” “Ten-four, you got Dr. Swartz with you?” “Yeah, for the time being.” 287


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“Good luck with that.” “Bull?” I said. “That’s what everybody calls him.” “Accurate but unimaginative,” I said. “What do you expect, we’re cops.”

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70 “Thanks for doing this,” I said on the drive up. “Yeah, like I said, I knew this was coming,” Lee said. “How?” “It was easy to see how much you care about her. I mean it sounds corny, but you guys were the picture of newlyweds. How are you going to get to see her if I don’t take you.” “Could have driven up to see her myself.” “I don’t think you appreciate the position you’re in. She is in a coma and a lot of people think it was you that put her there. You are a person of interest in this case.” “How?” “The newspaper. They keep calling dad to confirm information that we aren’t giving out. The story tomorrow is likely to be pretty bad because dad won’t tell them anything.” “How are they getting information?” “I’d bet it’s Warren, but we haven’t caught him yet. Believe me we’ve been watching.” “What about giving him some info that isn’t true and letting him leak it. Then you know it’s him.” “We thought about that, but we couldn’t figure out anything to tell him that wouldn’t hurt you.” “We rode in silence for a few minutes. “So really,” he said, “You’re not supposed to be near her. I’m going to have to pull some strings to get you in.” “Probably not a great career move on your part,” I said. “Knew it was coming, Terri and I already talked about it.” “What did she say?” I asked. “Don’t do what’s legal, do what’s right.” 289


71 In we went, me in my scrubs and Lee in his uniform. Annie was on the third floor, in a wing all alone. The elevator opened to a nurse’s station, which was manned by two nurses who looked not the least bit happy to see us. Lee went over and spoke to them quietly. They looked from him to me a couple of times then one gave a brief nod. He motioned for me to follow. We went down a long hallway. Near the end were two large windows in the wall to my right. It was so quiet I couldn’t hear our footsteps. Annie lay behind the glass in the center of a large room. Machines and monitors spanned out on either side, the lights were dim. She had a breathing tube clamped to the corner of her mouth. She looked small and fragile and still. Too still. “Listen, they are letting you go this far, but they don’t have the authority to let you in the room,” It hit me hard. I guess my mind hadn’t allowed me to realize the enormity of the situation. I started crying. Seeing her like that, my bubbly, beautiful Annie, so helpless. Alone. I felt an unfathomable ache. I sidestepped everybody and rushed through the opening in the wall. I had her hand in mine and put my forehead against hers. And I sobbed, loud ugly sobs. Lee and the two nurses stepped in behind me. Lee gently put his hand on my back to pull me away. “Wait,” a nurse said. “He didn’t do it, look at him, he didn’t hurt her.” 290


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I wanted to reach in and tell Annie how much I loved her and that it was going to be alright, but I couldn’t. I’m kind of like a radio. I receive signals but I can’t send them. I couldn’t use my ability any more than Lee or the nurses could. They say people can hear you when in a coma, so I talked. I talked to her as if she were awake and right there with me. I told her about the life we were going to have and how we would decorate the house next Christmas. Her hand was warm and soft, but there was no feeling in it. It didn’t squeeze mine back. I knew if I let go it would flop to the bed. I couldn’t bear seeing that. My time was running out, Lee was tugging gently on my shoulder. I brushed her hair back from her forehead and kissed her there. With my free hand I still clasped hers. Before pulling away I said, “Don’t worry honey we are going to get whoever did this.” Instantly I was sucked into her thoughts. Looking through her eyes I saw Annie getting out of the shower and hearing something downstairs. She slipped into shorts and a tee shirt and went down to look. There was a person in the kitchen. He was wearing a ski mask. Then suddenly there was someone behind her. He threw her down on the couch and got on top of her. She tried to fight and throw him off. She got her head around once and bit him hard on the arm. That made him swing up to a sitting position. He sat there for a long time. The two men talked. Annie had trouble breathing. Then there was a car in the drive way. Another person went into the kitchen with a baseball bat. The man got off her and let her stand. He told her if she yelled he would shoot her. She didn’t care she was going to warn me anyhow. But I came in too fast, when she yelled it was too late. The thought withdrew quickly, painfully, like I’d been hit again. My knees buckled and Lee caught me. Alarms and bells began going off behind me. Lights were flashing on Annie’s monitors.

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One nurse went to the keyboard connected to a monitor and the other ran for the nurse’s station. A second later I heard a CODE BLUE, CODE BLUE, THIRD FLOOR. Lee pulled me over to an empty corner and the room began filling up with people. For a few minutes there was chaos, then one by one the machines stopped ringing and chirping and returned to the peaceful, rhythmic beeping. Once the room was quiet and most of the staff had gone, a guy saw us in the corner. “Who are they?” he asked.

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72 We got off with a slap on the wrist. Well, it was a clap for me. Lee was in a bit more hot water with his father. The hospital was happy to keep Lee’s name out of everything because it made the nurses look less responsible for allowing me in. I admitted to wearing scrubs and charging into the room. I hadn’t broken any laws, since there was no restraining orders against me and I had left the Quiet Dell hospital in scrubs because all my clothes had been destroyed. I was pretty good except for the machines going crazy. Lee was more concerned about my public image than I was. “You have really got to watch. A lot of people liked Annie. They are not going to be sympathetic to you,” We were driving home, it was late. I just wanted to get back, get some rest, then go back up to see Annie in the morning. “Don’t worry about me, I couldn’t care less about what people think.” “You might care, if they are sitting in a jury box and you are the defendant.” We rode in silence for a bit longer. “Just so you know, I sent a crew to clean up the floor in your house,” he said. “Thank you,” I said. “It’s just something the Department does. Tough coming back to that, especially if, you know, it looks the same as you left it.” “Thanks,” I said again. 293


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It was after midnight by the time we turned onto my driveway. As we pulled onto the courtyard, the headlights reflected broken glass covering the bricks. We got out of the cruiser, Lee with his cop flashlight. He shone it on my house. All of the windows on the back side had been broken out. Someone had spray painted WIFE BEATER across the back door. A breeze blew across the court yard and I heard an owl call in the distance. Glass crackled under Lee’s boot. “We got an extra room, why don’t you stay with us tonight? “Nope, I’m staying here in my own home tonight.” I said. He folded his arms. The leather on his gun belt creaked. “I get that,” he said. “I’ll call somebody early to replace the windows,” “You going to be okay here tonight? “Because of this? Yeah. Because Annie’s not here? No” He gave me a short nod and got in his car. “If you need anything...” “I know. I said. He pulled away and I walked into the house and looked at the room where Annie had struggled and bled. The framed picture of our first dance hung on the wall. I sat on the couch and tried to recreate what I had seen through Annie. I thought about it until I dozed off. I woke up sometime after that and marched up the stairs to the bed where Annie and I had slept.

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73 The next morning I tried the number I had for Otis. It rang several times then went to voice mail. I explained I had experienced some trouble with some of my windows and would need someone to replace them. Even though I was tired from the night before, I couldn’t sleep. I kept reaching over to touch her and she wasn’t there. That would hook me and the emotions of the last couple of days would reel me out of my sleep. When I got up I was sore. The pain medicines had worn off completely and I had missed a couple doses of Tylenol. A hot shower helped with my body but my head was still sensitive. After that I got a broom from the garage and began to clean up the broken glass. The rocks had exploded inward and the glass was in every room on the back side of the house. After that I fixed some toast I couldn’t eat, looked at some furniture I couldn’t fix, and tried to google something I couldn’t find. I gave up and got in the Chevelle. I drove to the hospital with the windows down and the radio on. I was met by security as soon as I set foot in the door. I was taken to an office and asked to wait. The office was nicely decorated with leather furniture and abstract paintings. The wall unit held items from cultures around the world. It might have been a comfortable place to wait if I didn’t feel like a detainee. After a few minutes the door opened and someone walked in. I was seated facing the desk and didn’t turn around, just to dilute the grand entrance, if that’s what he was trying to make. 295


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“Mr. Finn,” he said coming around the desk and offering his hand. He was the guy in charge last night. “Just Finn,” I said. We shook. He motioned for me to sit, which I did. “You’re back.” he said. “Like a bad penny,” I said. “Do you not think you upset your wife enough last night?” “I’m not sure I understand the question,” I said. “I can’t let you see your wife. I don’t mean to be harsh, but something happened last night that I can’t allow to happen again. “And you think it was because of me?” “Any reasonable person would,” he said. “As a doctor I am not concerned with your innocence or guilt, I have only to consider my patients’ wellbeing.” “And you think that by visiting her I could do harm?” “If she would have the same reaction as last night, yes.” I thought about it. “If you truly cared about her, you would put her recovery above all else.” “You’re doing everything possible for her?” I asked. “Of course,” he said. “I’ll be updated as soon as anything happens?” “I may be able to do even better than that, though it may be expensive.” He explained his idea and I agreed. It wasn’t even close to holding her and talking to her, but it was better than I expected.

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74 I drove back into town with a new resolve. If I couldn’t help my wife recover, I was going to catch the people who had hurt her. I parked the car on Main Street and walked to the bench Annie and I had sat on the first day we were here. The ground was dappled with sunlight from the oak trees and I remembered us sitting here, ready to find our future. The last time I was here we weren’t even married yet. I went over the things I had learned from Annie and the things from Lee. The key was to find out where Annie was the day she didn’t go to school. Even Charlie’s Angels could figure that out. As I sat a few people passed by. I felt their stares and heard a few grumbles. I was starting to get what Lee had been trying to tell me. The bench was twenty yards from the street. I didn’t meet anyone on the path, but as I was about to step off the curb, a car flew by, inches from my leg. The driver laid on the horn and I stumbled and fell backwards on the sidewalk. I caught myself enough that my head barely hit the cement. But the tap still discharged a wave of pain through my skull and loosened a couple of stitches on the thin scalp skin. Warm blood trickled down my neck. I made it to the police station and entered through a different door than the night before. The daytime door was manned by a lady in civilian clothes. She smiled as she looked up and then she realized who I was. 297


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“Can I help you?” she said stiffly. “I’m here to turn myself in,” I said. “What?” “I always say that when I enter a police station.” “You’re bleeding,” she said. “I’m always hoping someone will say; “So, the jig’s up,” but nobody ever says that back.” “You will not be permitted to bleed on the floor.” “That may be beyond my control,” I said. She reached for a tissue box and pulled out about six, one by one. “Here,” she said. “I’d like to see the Chief,” I said. “I don’t think he wants to see you.” I pulled a bloody tissue from my neck and laid it on the counter. I smiled widely. The front of the room had a banister that ran across from one side to the other. There was a gate in the middle like in the old courtrooms. I supposed it was to deny access only to criminals who couldn’t jump or lift their legs very high. It was only three feet in height. She looked at the tissue and then pressed a button. Something buzzed and the gated clanged open. “In the back there’s a hallway, it’s the last door on the left.” I thanked her and walked back. The door to his office was open so I went in. The Chief was behind a desk facing a couple of other cops who were sitting in chairs. His desk was nice and neat with only a newspaper lying on a blotter. All three looked up as I walked in. I clapped my hands together and rubbed them. “So, what’s happening with my case”? He excused the two cops and I sat down. “Have you seen this?” He spun the newspaper around so I could see the headlines. “PERSON OF INTEREST HUSBAND CHECKS SELF OUT OF HOSPITAL, DISAPPEARS.

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I read down through the article until it became blah, blah, blah. “I don’t see how they could say this, I’ve turned myself in twice, and it doesn’t seem to take. He wasn’t amused. He said I was just giving the newspaper fodder to degrade the integrity of the Police Dept. “I had to fight like hell to get the hospital to leave Lee’s name out the stunt you two pulled last night.” “Well, hell, I appreciate that,” I said trying to seem a bit more ‘Good Old Boy.’ “Paper’s going to print a special edition tomorrow, they say they got more information, but was too late to get it printed today. If they get hold of the hospital story, Lee may be finished in this county.” “So, let’s get this case solved and save Lee’s career,” I said. “You stay out of it. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to hear about you asking questions, and I specifically don’t want to see you getting yourself killed.” The last part make me feel better. “Look, you got some bad people after your family. We’re not sure if they are done with you yet. Then we got another group of people that want you punished for what happened to your wife. You’re out on a ledge boy, and you don’t have a whole lot of people wanting to help you get off. “Do you think they still might be after Annie?” “We just approved pay for a guard at the hospital, and it isn’t just to protect her from you.” “That’s good but I’m not staying out of it.” “Yes, you will.” “Nope. I’m on it like Kojak.” He looked at me hard. He reached in his desk and handed me some paper towels. I held one against the back of my head. “Lee thinks a lot of you. I don’t see it, but he’s usually a pretty good judge of character.” I didn’t say anything. “Don’t get yourself killed.”

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75 Valerie Simmons kept her nose in her own business. She made it a point not to listen to any of the gossip the younger bank employees seemed to enjoy. She did not keep up with the Kardashians or who was in trouble on the Bachelor. According to her, the local newspaper was way too interested in unsubstantiated rumors instead of complaining about the potholes in the streets. She had risen to her position after twenty seven years of service to the bank. She had started as a cashier the day after she had graduated high school. Because she was as efficient as they come she saw herself as the guardian to its integrity. The priority of the bank, as she saw it, was to keep its customer’s money safe and protect their privacy. So, she kept quiet when a large amount of money was transferred into the Finn account. She triple checked everything and found the transfer to be legit and complete in every way. How much money the account contained was nobody’s business except the bank and Mr. and Mrs. Finn. *** I drove back to the house in the afternoon. There was a motorcycle and a truck parked in the court yard. I recognized the truck as the one Otis drove. “Hey Finn, we got a little head start. Hope that’s okay.” It was Squirrel yelling from the bathroom window. From where I stood his face looked funny. 300


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“I’ll be down,” he said and disappeared back inside. “Yo, Finn,” Otis yelled from inside the kitchen. I went in and Squirrel joined us in the kitchen. Otis’s left arm was in a bandage. Squirrel had two black eyes and stitches across the bridge of his nose. They were both grinning. “We called the window guy. He has most of the windows in stock. A couple of the odd sized ones are going to have to be ordered. Figured you were going to have to get them one way or another, so we gave the okay,” Otis said. “Yeah, that’s good, I don’t care. What happened to you guys?” Squirrel looked down, Otis shuffled his feet. “Got into a little dust up at Mr. Diggity?” “The hot dog place? “Yeah, well its hot dogs in the day, a bar at night. “What happened?” I asked. “Well. Nemi had a couple too many.” “Beers?” “No, hot dogs,” Otis said. “Nemi is a wild man,” Squirrel said. “So what happened?” I said again. “There is this loud mouth guy there. He’s a roofer. Everybody calls him Leroy because of the song “Bad Bad Leroy Brown.” He is big, but sometimes big guys can’t fight. Anyway, he’s telling everybody that would listen that you should be strung up and he’d be the first one to tie the knot.” “Me?” I ask. “Yeah. So Nemi goes right up to the guy with us, right behind him. We never know what he’s going to do, cause like I say, he’s crazy.” “Makes for an interesting evening though,” Squirrel said. “Nemi, says, “You sthink and your mamma probably sthinks too. The guy looks at him trying to figure out what he’s saying. Then Nemi says, “and ifth you ever have a little bitty baby, it’s not only gonna sthink it’s gonna be as ugthly as you are.”

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“By that time Leroy deciphered Nemi’s message, at least its intent. He grabbed him by the head and threw him clean over the bun warmer. I picked up a chair and hit the guy, Otis got behind him and latched onto his neck.” Otis said, “Nemi came flying out from behind the counter and knocked out about four roofers.” “How did you know they were roofers?” I asked. “Because of their hats,” Squirrel said. “Squirrel is hitting this guy as hard as he can with body shots and I’m swinging round his neck like a cartoon cowboy. After that everybody who has a beef with anyone else is going at it. He finally shook me off and I land on the floor. That was lights out for me. Next thing I know Nemi and Squirrel are dragging me down the alley behind Mr. Diggity and I hear the two of them cackling like old women.” “We got him to the hospital. They x-rayed him and slapped a bandage on his arm.” They didn’t call the police when they saw what you looked like?” I asked. “Naw, we’re repeat customers,” Otis said. “The ER nurse is kind of sweet on Squirrel.” Squirrel raised an eyebrow and nodded. “What about Nemi?” “Damn guy didn’t even get a scratch,” Otis said. They hung around for another hour or so telling stories. They told me how sorry they were about Annie. I didn’t want them to leave, and when they did the house was silent again.

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76 The hospital was setting up two cameras for me, since I wasn’t allowed to visit. One camera would be fairly close so I could see her face and the other would be zoomed out so I could see the entire room. Once the app was set up on my phone I could watch her twenty four seven. The Doc said he thought there was also a way to set up a way to send the signal to a TV. The thought of watching her on TV was disheartening. I called the hospital to check on her. The nurses were allowed to give me information as long as I wasn’t there. They said she was stable and the Doctors were cautiously optimistic. I knew she was a fighter, I had no doubt she would be fine. I couldn’t consider any other outcome. Once her swelling went down, they would bring her out of the coma and she would be back in my arms. But for now I had to deal with windows and apps. I looked on line for the balance to our checking account. I was usually on top of our finances and I knew what we had in each account. I’m not sure why but I clicked the button for savings instead of checking. The read out said we had four point six million and some change in our account. The change was ours, I had no idea where the four point six came from. I clicked the button for our checking and it appeared sadly unremarkable. I went back to the savings, being the sleuth that I am. The deposit was made of the day of the attack. There was no listing 303


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of where the money came from only a routing number. Four point six mill. There had to be some kind of mistake. I called the bank. My call wound its way around the automated phone system and I ended up talking to a woman named Valerie Simmons. I explained my situation. She had a bit of an attitude, and would not give out any information over the phone even if I had all my numbers and password. She acted like it was her money instead of mine. So I hopped in the Chevelle and made a second trip into town. I passed a couple of cars I shouldn’t have, an old man in a truck and a couple of high school kids in a Camaro. I was afraid I wasn’t going to get to see Ms. Simmons before the bank closed. I found a parking space on the street opposite the bank. It was an old brick building with big revolving glass doors and lots of brass. It smelled like the nineteen fifties. I asked a loan officer where I could find Ms. Simmons and he pointed me toward a back office. She was gathering her things as I came into her office. She frowned. Her eyes fell across my stitches. “I got here as quickly as I could,” I said. “Not quickly enough,” she said as she continued to straighten. “But I need to know where that money came from.” “And I will be happy to help you find out, but the bank is closing. You will have to come back tomorrow.” “But, jeeze I’m here now, you’re here now...” “I don’t think you understand the working of a bank, Mr. Finn.” “Just Finn,” I said. “The vault is on a timer, the guards and the officers sign out at certain times, I can’t say, “‘Go ahead and lock the door, I’m leaving after while.”

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I could see through the glass walls of the office. The security guard was letting out a customer and locking the door behind her. “Mr. Finn,” she started. “Just Finn.” “If you write your request on a piece paper,” she slid a pad across her desk, “I will have a legal reason to research your request and have an answer for you in the morning.” I couldn’t see why I had to formally request to see my own information, but apparently this lady had her own set of rules. I took a pen from the plastic office set on her desk and wrote down what I wanted to know. I gave her a dazzling smile. It didn’t take. “The guard will let you out,” she said dismissively. The guard watched me approach. All the other employees must have left through a back exit or have been in backrooms counting their drawers. Whatever, he and I were the only two people around. He had his keys in one hand and a folded newspaper in the other. As he unlocked the door he slapped the newspaper in my chest and nudged me out the door with his forearm. “My daughter respected her,” he said. On the side walk I looked at the headlines: WIFE NEARLY DIES AFTER VISIT FROM HUSBAND. I read the article right there in front of the bank. The paper must have paid pretty well for this nugget of a story. The facts were correct, but what a slant. I was too interested in the story to see what was happening across the street at my car. The Camaro I had passed was parked in the spot behind me. A couple of old beaters were parked behind it. The two guys in it must have called some friends. I counted twelve guys and about six hundred pimples. To their credit they did look like mean dogs that had been kicked around a little. They weren’t going to back down. I spotted the leader. Arms folded across his chest, he was leaning against my car. He looked more confident than the 305


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others, a better handle on the rural thug look. He sported a denim shirt with the sleeves cut off, Levi’s with work boots. I could read him from across the street. “Get off my car!” I yelled. He didn’t expect that, he thought I was going to be intimidated. I strode straight across the street toward him. He sneered but wasn’t sure what to expect. He had a list of things in his mind he was going to say to me, I wasn’t going to let that happen. He opened his mouth to say something, but I got started first. “What are you thinking, you moron?” I stopped directly in front of him. He stiffened. “What are you? Some kind of John Boy gone bad?” The others on the left and right started to bend in and surround me on three sides. My only escape route, if this went bad, was behind me. “My question to you is, what is your goal here?” I pointed to the traffic light hanging at the intersection. “Traffic cam is picking up everything in this block.” I was almost certain there was no traffic camera, but they all looked. I searched for someone near the rear end of my car. There were three guys there and I reached in. They were easy to read. Then I found my guy. I made it to him while the others were still looking for a camera. “Does your mother still wash your bed clothes every night?” I said loud enough for some of the others to hear. I bumped his shoulder as I went through the line of guys. I had taken my keys out of my pocket as I crossed the street. They were now hidden under the newspaper the security guard had given me. I made it to the trunk and inserted my key. They heard the trunk pop open but it was already too late. I was holding my baseball bat. I closed the trunk and smiled. I spoke while I put the keys back into my pocket. “I take it none of you ever played Little League Baseball. It’s a wonderful way to learn teamwork and discipline at a young age. Not to mention improving eye hand coordination.” 306


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I took a right handed cut at the young man near my fender. I hit him in the shin like a pitch coming in low. He went down in pain. The guy next to him stood looking at his companion, which was a mistake. I took a left handed cut at him and caught the hip, right on the ball and socket joint. He joined his friend on the pavement. I had not stopped moving forward since retrieving the bat. My progress around the car brought me right back to Mr. Leader of the Pack. He dropped to a boxer’s stance, with his fists up on either side of his head. I read him. His plan was to protect his head and attack after the first swing. It wasn’t a bad plan, not for a seventeen year old freshman, but swinging at him was not what I was planning to do. I flipped the bat around and held it like a soldier using a bayonet on the end of his rifle. I poked him as hard as I could in the solar plexus. The stunned muscle would not allow him to breathe. He fell to his knees gasping. “And here’s the moronic part,” I said to those still standing. “You thought you could get away with it.” I stood waiting to see if I would have to hit anyone else when I heard the blurp from a police car behind me. Lee stopped the car in the middle of the road with the blue lights flashing. “What’s going on here?” “Well.” I said. “This one has a broken leg, that one may have a dislocated hip, and this one seems to be choking on something.” John Boy was still rolling on the street trying to breath. “You all go home. You make anything of this and I’ll see that you are charged with unlawful assembly and assault.” “He hit them with a bat,” one of them said. “Arrest him.” “Are you kidding?” Lee said. “It’s ten against one.” “Twelve,” I said. “Twelve against one.” The healthy helped the injured into their cars and they drove away. “What were you thinking?” Lee asked. 307


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“I had them right where I wanted them,” I said. He took a deep breath and put his hands on his hips. “Follow me home. Park in the garage. You’re staying at my house tonight.” I did just that.

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77 Teri was there with dinner prepared. She politely put down another plate and asked about Annie. I told them what the doctors had said and about the camera hook up. She asked about my shaved head and my stitches. We talked about everything else that had been happening. I told them about the money. They were both shocked. “This is bad,” Lee said. “Why?” Teri asked. “Because the prosecutor is going to say he had the means, the opportunity, and now, the motive. He tried to kill her for the money, or to keep her from finding out about the money.” “What about the other bloody footprints?” I asked. “You could have faked them and hidden the shoes. Or you could have accomplices.” “No problem, we’ll go to the bank tomorrow and find out where the money came from. That will give us some answers,” I said. “Maybe,” Lee said. “But, I can’t go with you.” “Why not? “If I know anything, I have to report it. It has to be official. Once it’s documented the person leaking the information, is going to snitch to the newspaper. Then you are going to look even worse.” “Okay I’ll find out on my own,” I said. “You’re going to have to be careful,” Lee said. “I see what you’re doing,” Teri said. “What?” 309


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“You can’t help Annie so you are throwing yourself into this because you’re not a person who can sit and do nothing.” Lee said, “Yeah we know that.” Teri said, “You would be the same way.” “Probably,” he said. “The immediate problem right now is you,” Lee said looking at me. “Yeah, you. You’re not safe here and there’s no way to protect you.” I didn’t say anything. “You’re not going to stay home and you are too far out of town for us to keep a watch on your place. You’ve already been attacked at home and in the street.” I still didn’t say anything. I knew he was right but I didn’t want to run either. “We’ve got to get you out of town,” he said. “Some place I can still work on the case,” I said. “You’re not a cop,” they said together. “I have the video feed anywhere I want to go,” I said, talking myself into it. “Sir,” Teri said in a professional voice, “Are you looking to rent or buy?” “I just happen to have a few million laying around doing nothing. Let’s look to buy.” Lee and I did the dishes while Teri spent a couple of hours on the computer. They had a spare bed room fixed. Teri fixed it up for me like Mrs. Null had done for us in happier days. “First time being married to a realtor paid off,” he said. Teri finally looked up from the screen and smiled. “How do you like the river?” she said.

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78 Lee had the early shift and left for the police station chewing on a muffin and carrying a lunchbox. He kissed Teri between bites and told me to stay out of trouble. I shot him with my thumb and finger. I sat at the breakfast table and ate a second portion of bacon while Teri got ready. They ate real butter. It had its own oval plate that moved back and forth between the table and the fridge. “I’ll drive,” she said. I figured Lee had asked her to keep me as hidden as possible. The Chevelle was not a low profile car. We headed out Nine Mile Road, which was badly misnamed since it went on for at least thirty miles. The sky was big here, something you don’t see much in West Virginia. The mountains were always omnipresent, but here they framed the horizon. The air was light and I could see clear to the stratosphere, or at least way up. We drove twenty minutes on a two lane without seeing another car. The grass on both sides of the road was knee length and went uninterrupted for mile after mile. We passed a crow eating a truck struck possum. It only ruffled its feathers at our slipstream as we passed. The mountains began to rise on our right, still in the distance. Teri’s Jeep had navigation, but the road we were looking for didn’t show. Her realtor instructions said fourteen point six miles after turning onto Nine Mile. We stopped in the middle of the road and put the Jeep in park without any fear of causing an accident. We could hear the wind blowing through the trees. 312


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The listing stated that Hope Road was just before the grove of oak trees. We hadn’t seen any trees near the road so we pressed on, driving slower and watching for anything resembling a road on the left. The only thing we spotted for the next ten minutes was a huge black snake stretched out along the side of the road, sunning itself. I’ve learned that realtors don’t give up easily. Teri was no exception. We trudged along until we found a few scattered oak trees and a dirt road that dropped down off the pavement and curved its way into the wilderness. We quickly lost sight of the sky. The road wove through a shadowed landscape that was darker and denser that any pictures I had seen of the Rain forest. Trees that had been downed years ago degraded back into the soil to nourish the living trees near them. The road was constructed around the trees, I’m sure these trees were here decades before the road, maybe even before cars. On some trees poison ivy vines and thick as my thigh grew up the trunks and sprouted leaves only in the sunshine near the top. There was little vegetation on the ground, only years of decaying leaves. As dire as this all sounds, the place seemed natural. Just a place untouched by people, not evil, and only a touch forbidding. I felt if I whispered the trees wouldn’t mind my presence. If I was loud and disrespectful the roots would erupt out of the ground, entwine me, then pull me back into the soil for the worms and beetles. Fair but cruel. This was Hope Road. Whoever named these roads must have had a warped sense of humor. We were following the road on a long slow curve around the base of a hill. The ground rose steeply to our right, still tree covered and dark. Large rocks, breaking free after years of thaw and melt, scattered the tilted hillside. To our left the sunlight reflected through the trees off a wide and flat river. Ahead the road branched again, giving us the choice of continuing or dropping down to an even lower road.

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We dropped down and the heavy darkness evaporated, and the blue sky materialized unexpectedly. We stopped the car twenty yards off the road directly between the house and the river. A wooden stairway rose up the bank on Teri’s side of the car. It led down to the level of the water and stopped abruptly. The area on both sides of the stairway was unruly and covered with locust and sumac. The house, on my side, sat higher on a knoll with the rising backdrop of trees behind it. The house itself was constructed of large brownish gray stones that looked like they may have been harvested from the rocks that scattered the hillside. The metal roof was red and had a buildup of dirt. The front porch ran the length of the building, but the railing looked like it had seen better days. It sagged in places and a few of the banisters were either missing or slanted. The windows were dirty and web covered and what was supposed to be the yard was overgrown with gnarled and tangled vines. Lying in the mist of the vines alongside the house was a wooden dock. Slightly behind and to the right of the house was a large two stall garage that appeared in worse condition than the house. Teri said, “Welcome to 56 Hope Road.”

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79 The river here was spectacular. We were centered in the outside bend of the river, which allowed us, from this particular point, to view miles up and down stream in one panoramic view. The river was about a fifty yards across. The bank on the other side was steep and so completely tree covered that it was hard to see any soil or ground. Several branches hung down so low that the leaves looked like they were brushing the surface of the water. I sat on the steps that led up to the porch. Teri came around the car and sat beside me. “Want to see the inside, or is this too far out for you?” “Wait, a sec,” I said. I sat quietly and looked up and down the river. “You’re trying to imagine if Annie would like it here, aren’t you?” “Yeah,” I said. After a moment I stood, “Let’s look inside.” “I guess that was a yes,” Teri said. The inside didn’t look like it had been touched since the day it was built. It didn’t look like it had been lived in at all, but it would still need to be gutted. Everything was early seventies, the styles, the colors, the architecture, but it all looked new. “Time warp, isn’t it?” Teri said. The living room ran the entire front of the house. The kitchen was open to the living room and was the rear part of the first floor. On the right, the side closest to the garage, stood a massive fireplace. I looked around the room. I didn’t see any 315


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heating vents anywhere. Upstairs were two bedrooms and a bath. All of the floors were oak. The set up was strangely similar to my old apartment. “Is the fireplace the only means of heat?” I asked. Teri looked at her listing papers. “Looks that way.” “This is really strange,” she said. She flipped through more pages. “The people who built it in seventy eight sold it after it was finished in seventy nine. Then it changed hands, let’s see.” She counted the pages. “Ten more times. One right after the other. That is funny, not one of them owned it for more than a year.” She quietly kept ruffling through the pages. “Except the last guy here. He’s owned it for twenty years and had it for sale for nineteen. I’d certainly get a building inspection if I were you. I mean if you’re really interested.” We stepped back out onto the front porch. The only tree in the front of the property was an old willow near the water’s edge on the right side of the wooden staircase. It hung over the water at an angle and would have been perfect for a rope swing into the river. “What’s over there?” I asked. I nodded to the property on the right. “Just land, according to this map,” Teri said. The trees on that property continued down to the edge of the river. It felt organically dark over there. Like the darkness was being emitted from the ground. The vegetation was even thicker there than on the first part of Hope road. I kept glancing in that direction. Something made me not want to look directly into it. “Call the agent,” I said. “See if I can rent it until the paper work goes through. “Okay,” she said slowly. “It’s going to take a lot of work.” “I know just the guys,” I said.

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80 Ms. Simmons answered the phone on the first ring. “Hello Ms. Simmons, how are you today?” I said “I am doing very well, thank you for asking. To whom am I speaking?” She knew perfectly well to whom she was speaking. “This is Finn.” “Well Mr. Finn, I was expecting to talk to you in person.” “Just Finn, I was expecting to talk to you in person also, but I was nearly assaulted by a band of young ruffians when I left the bank last night. You don’t know anything about that do you, Ms. Simmons?” “Why, certainly not!” she said. “The guard sure must have been aware, or else he’s a horrible security guard, missing twelve people in broad daylight. “Mr. Brothers does a fine job.” “Then you’re saying he was aware he was allowing me to walk into a dangerous situation?” There was silence on the other end of the line. “If that is the case,” I said in my best Vito Corleone, “We have a problem.” “Would you like the information I found on your account?” she said, trying to change the subject. “Let her rip,” I said. “The money was transferred from the law offices of Phillips, Farrah, and Lough. Would you like the phone number?” “Yep,” I said. “And the address, if you have it.” “Of course I have it, Mr. Finn.” “Just Finn,” I said. She gave it to me. 317


81 Once I had the information I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. My main concern was Annie and how had she found her way into that kind of money. Once I told Lee it would become public knowledge and the mole, whom everybody knew was Warren, would leak it to the paper. So, after about ten minutes of consideration, I hopped in the Chevelle for the three hour drive to Milton, WV. About halfway there Lee called. “Where are you?” he asked. “In the car,” I said. “Going where?” “Milton. Ever been?” “Yes. Why are you going to Milton?” “I got a tip where the money may have come from.” “And you’re going to check it out. Alone.” “Yep, I’ll call you if I need you for back up.” “Won’t do much good from here.” “You’re not being very nice, I bought a house from your wife and may be renting another.” “She told me. Congratulations.” “Thank you and you’re welcome. “Don’t get yourself shot,” he said. “Thanks for your concern.” “I’m not concerned, I just don’t want to be the one to tell Annie that her dumb ass husband got himself shot.” “That is touching, you got a way with words,” I said. 318


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“That’s a lot of money to be snooping around about.” “I know.” “There’s a lot of people who would shoot you for nothing,” “Got to go,” I said. “Coming up on the exit.” I wasn’t really. “Be careful,” he said and hung up.

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82 Milton was a larger city that I thought, but finding the Law Offices of Phillips, Farrah, and Lough wasn’t difficult. The building was turn of the century, last turn of the century, not the latest one. Five stories, the tallest building in town. It put me in the mind of the bank in Quiet Dell, not as well-kept and not as much brass, but they would have fit nicely as neighbors. A placard, hung on the wall beside the elevator, listed the names of the occupants on each floor. Phillips, Farrah, and Lough were on the fourth floor. The doors clanked open and I saw the name OTIS on the elevator threshold. I took that as a good luck sign. I got in and pushed the button. The elevator cranked into life. I imagined Annie on this elevator, alone, maybe unsure why she was here. Good, bad, or somewhere in between, I still couldn’t conceive why she hadn’t involved me. She always said everything would be okay if we had each other. After an eternity the doors slid open and I stepped out onto a tiled floor. I had a choice of left or right. My mother had told me that in a choice between right and wrong always choose right, in a choice between right and left always choose left. She was correct about half the time. I chose left. The office door was opaque glass and was closed. There was a round sign on the door in the shape of a clock without the numbers. It was divided into three sections like a pie graph with an arrow attached to the center. The sections read; Closed, Out to Lunch, and Dead. The arrow was pointing out to lunch. 320


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I tried the door, it was locked. There wasn’t any place to sit and wait, except the floor, which would not create a great first impression, so back to the elevator I went. By the time I reached the first floor I realized I was getting hungry. It was nearly one o’clock and the last thing I had eaten was Teri’s breakfast at daybreak. Most towns will have some kind of little diner for the business people to pop in for a warm lunch. I spotted it right away. A mom and pop place called Markley’s. Booths with burgundy vinyl seats lined the right and back walls. To the left was a long counter with chrome and burgundy stools. A bell tinkled as I closed the door. Nearly all of the booths were occupied, but the counter had several open seats. I chose a seat in the middle of three open stools. The closest person on my left was a teenager with his baseball cap on backwards. He wore some sort of garage shirt with his name in an oval on the breast pocket. To my right was an older heavy set guy wearing a white shirt and suspenders. He looked interesting. There were three plates in front of him. One plate had a few French fry crumbs floating in a sea of congealing ketchup. The other had the residue of an eaten hamburger, a discarded pickle, and a drop of mustard. The last plate was technically a bowl. He was just finishing what was once a banana split. The counter guy came over with a little pad. I tilted my head in the man’s direction and said, “I’ll have what he had, without the ice cream.” He looked over at me after I said it. His head was smooth on top and had a white halo of hair from the temples down. “Good call on the ice cream, son.” He patted his belly, “It catches up with you.” He had a grandfather smile. “You eat here a lot?” I knew it was a dumb line, but it was all I had. “Do I eat here a lot, Ira?” he asked the counter man. “I spend more time with him than I do with my wife,” Ira said. “That’s because I’m prettier,” the man said. They both laughed, like old friends. 321


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Ira brought me a heaping plate of fries. I scooted down to the stool beside the man. He studied my stitches. “You look like you’re not having that good of a week.” “Finn,” I said and offered my hand. He took it, shook once then stopped. “Joseph Lough,” he said. “Everybody calls me Joe. He kept my hand and looked at me. The grandfather smile had left. “I think I was just over at your office, are you the attorney?” He let go and went back to the last few bites of banana split. “Yep, I’m the attorney,” “Can I ask you some questions?” “Nope,” he said. “Not if it’s about your wife.” “Why?” “She is my client. Everything we talked about is privileged.” He put his spoon down and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “But I can tell you she thinks very highly of you.” For some reason that hit me. Maybe deep down I still couldn’t believe that she could love me. I started spinning my wedding band on my finger. My eyes welled up. He noticed. “Listen son, it’s my fault. I told her not to tell anyone, you included. So if she’s not talking, don’t take it personally. She was dying to talk to you about it. I’m guessing she hasn’t?” “She never got the chance. We were attacked in our home, she’s in a coma.” He sat quietly and closed his eyes. “Damn,” he muttered. Ira brought me the burger. “The people in town think I had something to do with it. I can’t even visit her in the hospital. And, they don’t even know about the money yet.” “She told you about the money?” “No, it just showed up in the bank account.” He nodded, “I can see why you’re confused. The burger smelled great, but now I couldn’t eat it. “Listen, Mr. Finn, I need to have a warrant to discuss the case with you. Do you know someone on the police force that could help with that?” “It’s just Finn and yeah, I know someone.” 322


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“Fine. You bring me that warrant tomorrow and I’ll have it all ready. It’s a whopper of a story.” He put down a twenty and said to Ira, “I’ll take care of Finn’s today also.” He stood. “What did you do to turn Mr. Skinflint into Diamond Jim?” Ira asked. I just smiled. “She’s a nice lady,” he said. “The best,” I said. “Tomorrow,” he said and walked out the door. The little bell tinkled.

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83 I checked my phone before I left town. I tapped it and there she was. She still had the breathing tube but her color looked good. The picture was really clear. I used my thumb and index finger to do that flick thing to zoom in. I could get close enough to see individual strands of hair. I wanted to reach through the phone to touch her hand, stroke her face. I pulled over three times on the way home to watch her. I got back to my house just in time to find Otis and Squirrel finishing the windows. They had already touched up over the spray painting. I pulled out the two hundreds to pay them, but both kept their hands in their pockets. “This one’s on the house,” Otis said. “Yep,” Squirrel said. “Windows are under warranty, and we decided we weren’t going to charge you anything.” “Are you sure?” I said. “You put in a full day’s work?” “We’re fine,” Otis said throwing some tools into the bed of his truck. “Are you ready for another gig?” I asked. They both turned to me and put their hands on their hips. “What kind of gig? Man, the paint ain’t even dry on this one yet.” “I got another house for you to fix up. Police don’t want me to stay here while things are going on. You interested?” They looked at each other. “Well, we were going to take a little respite, just to wind down,” Squirrel said. “Kind of like a sabbatical,” Otis said 324


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“Same money?” Squirrel asked. “Yep, it wouldn’t be the same without you two.” We shook hands and I explained where the new house was. “I have a cousin that grew up out that way,” Otis said. “That sounds like Vulture Bend.” “You think you could help me take some stuff out there tomorrow? That way you can look around and we can plan things out.” “Yeah we can do that,” Otis said. “Think we need any help? I could call a couple guys,” Squirrel said. “I guess, it would make less trips for me, but nobody is supposed to know where I am,” I said. “That’s cool, I’ll only ask guys who can keep their mouths shut.”

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84 I went around the house applying post it notes to the furniture I wanted to take to the river. The more I thought about it the more I wondered if Annie would ever want to go back to the house on the hill. I could easily be convinced to sell it. The thought of all the blood and her in the middle of it was etched in my mind. I checked her again. I was afraid I was getting too used to seeing her just lying there. I called Lee to tell him about the lawyer Annie had seen. He said he would have the warrant by morning and he would drive up and talk to the guy. I said I’d like to go with him. He reluctantly agreed. “We got some news back on the bomb making kid, he’s still locked up, so he’s not our guy.” “I agree, he didn’t feel right for this anyway,” I said using cop language. “There’s something else,” he said. “The doctors think Annie has recovered enough to bring her out of the coma.” “This is great,” I yelled into the phone. I had been suppressing my anticipation for this moment. Probably because I couldn’t hurry it, I tried not to think about it. “I have to be there when she wakes up.” “Hold on a minute. It’s not like what you think. They don’t just pull out the needles and she wakes up. It’s a process.” “It’s not?” “No, that’s what it’s like on TV. The Doc explained to me it was like waking up after an operation, only with this, they 326


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decrease the drugs slowly. It’s not like flipping on a light switch, it’s like gently increasing a dimmer switch.” “So how long till she wakes up?” I said. “They don’t know. They have her cooled down now, they are going to start warming her up. That’s the terms they used, they don’t know how long it will take.” “They don’t know?” “I guess there are a lot of factors. Like how long she has been induced, the kind of injury she had. But, she is young and in good health so it may happen quickly. But, the Doc also said there is a possibility that the brain isn’t ready yet.” “What does that mean?” I said. “That’s what the induced coma is all about, you shut down some of the brain’s functions so it can work on repairing other things. If it doesn’t think it’s ready, it won’t wake up. Anyway, it may be a long process.” We talked for a few more minutes, he tried to get me to stay at his house again but I declined. The next morning I woke to what sounded like a parade in the courtyard.

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85 There were five pickups parked in a semi-circle with guys climbing out of each. Nemi was the first guy I spotted. Otis and Squirrel were there too, smiling and waving. I dressed quickly, checked in on Annie, and then went downstairs. I had forgotten to lock the door, something I wouldn’t mention to Lee. They were already carrying out furniture and securing it in the trucks. There were some kitchen items and some personal things I was going to have to get later, but this was the bulk of the big stuff. We were loaded and gone in forty minutes. I spotted the same black snake sunning itself in the same place. The drive seemed shorter this time, probably because I knew where we were going. It was kind of like an army pulling in when we got to the house. Otis had handpicked these guys and they each had a specialty. They left their trucks and went to work diagnosing problems and how to remedy them. After a few minutes they checked in with Squirrel and Otis. After that they started carrying in furniture. Almost everything was carried into the living room and placed under tarps. They left one by one, some leaving without giving me a chance to thank them. Otis and Squirrel stayed to organize the jobs the others would be working on. “Can’t have Cochran and Jug here at the same time, they don’t get along,” Otis said. They were sitting on the front porch steps. 328


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A police siren sounded and made the three of us jump. It sounded loud in the hush of the woods. Lee pulled up and rolled down the window. “I still get a kick out of doing that,” he said. I paid the guys their money and told them to do whatever needed to be done. I wanted to stay there tonight. I got in the car with Lee and we were off to see the Lawyer.

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86 Lee knocked once and pushed open the office door. Inside was an empty desk and some plastic waiting room chairs. Behind and slightly left of the desk was an open door to an inner office. Behind that desk, with his feet up, was Joe Lough. The smell of rich coffee wafted through both rooms. “Come on in,” he said. “I was hoping you’d be back early.” We shook hands, made introductions, and sat. Lee handed him some papers and Joe read through them quickly. “Good, these seem to be in order. What do you want to know?” “Where did the money come from?” I said. Lee cleared his throat and said, “Finn, is here at his request and has no part in this investigation. If he cannot be silent, his invitation will be revoked.” He looked at me and I nodded. “So, where did the money come from?” he said. “The whole thing started a few years ago,” he got up and went to the coffee maker. “You all want any coffee? Janie isn’t here yet, but I make a pretty good cup.” We both declined. “A man walked into the office out of nowhere, old guy, kind of ratty looking, says that the oil and gas companies are stealing his minerals. He had been out hunting and comes across what he says is an oil well on his property. He has all these deeds with him that have been passed down for generations. But they all look good, I mean legal, and he leaves them with me and I start checking into them.” Joe tells us this while he is making his own coffee, he’s taking his time like lawyers do. 330


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“Even though the guy is dressed in rags, he seems pretty sharp. Some of these old timers don’t give a hoot how they look but they care about every penny. And they know their land. He hadn’t been out to this particular area for a few years, but I bet he could walk it’s perimeter without being off but a few feet.” We didn’t interrupt. “To make a long story short, he was right. They were stealing his oil right out from under him. Stealing might be too strong a word. Maybe it was a mistake in the surveying, maybe it wasn’t.” “So he sued them?” I asked and got a look from Lee. “Nope, like I say he was sharp and he was shrewd. He knew they didn’t want to go to court and be known as the company that violated mineral rights. He also knew they did not want to pay a lot of money for the violation. So what he did was leverage them into buying the rights to all of his land, and he had a lot of land, at extremely high rates. That was over three million right there. That was just for the rights, once they started pumping oil, he would receive revenue from that also. “So everything is legal, on the up and up?” I said. “Oh yeah, but that’s not the end of it. Not sure how well you know some of the folks that live on the outskirts of civilization, but these boys don’t trust many people. So Lovell, that’s his name, took out several expensive life insurance policies. He thought somebody from the oil company was going to have him shot. I told him this wasn’t the movies, no one was going to kill him. But, I couldn’t convince him.” “So, how is Annie involved?” I said. Joe takes a long sip of coffee and closes his eyes like it’s a drug. “I don’t hear from him for a couple years, then one day he shows up again. He’s not looking so good. You know, unhealthy. He tells me he wants me to find him an heir. He has no family that he knows of, but figures there has to be someone. So Janie and I start looking when all of a sudden he up and dies. Mailman found him laying by the mailbox, had my business card in his pocket. That was nearly a year ago. We had 331


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to check to see if there were any liens against the property and do all the postings in the local papers. Now everything is out of probate and the money and land is free and clear.” I was hoping he was getting to the part where we become millionaires. We were searching for an heir even before he died, and that is where your wife comes into the story. She is the only heir, there is no one else even close.” He took another sip. “She didn’t think she had any family?” “Well, sad to say she doesn’t now. Just you.” Lee said, “That settles that.” “Not quite,” I said. “She knew the night before she came to see you and she didn’t tell me, why?” I said. “She didn’t know,” he said. “I left her a message at her school, and by the way, she wasn’t that easy to find. Now Annie Finn, instead of Annie Spencer and in a different town, which made tracking her down even more of a challenge. In the message, I asked her to call me back, and even then I said I would only talk to her in person. Once she got here I explained the whole thing like I did to you.” I tried to picture her hearing that news. I couldn’t do it. “Was she excited?” I asked. “No, not really. She almost didn’t take the money, or the land.” “What?” Lee and I said at the same time. “Well you know I can be kind of gabby. She seemed like such a nice girl. I asked her if she was happy with her life the way it was, without the money. She said extremely happy. I said I had seen much smaller amounts of money destroy people’s lives. It could ruin relationships with spouses and family members. She said she would rather leave it than ruin her life with you. Like I said yesterday you were pretty much perfect in her eyes.” He looked at me like that was something he could never understand. “But the reason she didn’t tell you she was coming wasn’t because I told her not to, it was because she thought you were in some kind of trouble with a mafia guy. She was afraid for you.” Lee looked at me. 332


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“So I offered a compromise. Take the money, put it in a bank, and don’t touch it for a year. Don’t even tell anybody about it. I guess she didn’t take my advice. If she did she wouldn’t have put it in a joint account. “How did the money get moved from one account to another?” Lee asked. “Mrs. Finn and my secretary worked all that out,” he said. “Do you have any reason to believe any of the oil people could have been involved in the attack on the Finn’s?” Lee asked. “No, not really, if they didn’t attack Lovell, why would they attack you two?” Lee nodded. “What time did she get here?” “Somewhere between ten thirty and eleven. We talked then had lunch down at the diner, she left around one.” Lee wrote all this down in a spiral notepad. “If you need any of the dates or transactions I had with Lovell I can get them for you. Might take a couple of days,” Joe said. “May need them later,” Lee said. He laid a business card on the table. “If you think of anything else...” He stood and shook hands again. “She’s a lovely girl,” Joe said. “Been thinking about her a lot since yesterday, the Misses put her on the prayer list at church.” “Thanks,” I said. I wondered if Annie was on the prayer list at any church in town. I figured I was on the go to hell list. He walked us out of the office. “You will also be getting sizable royalty checks also, so be watching for those,” he said. “She put your name on those also.” We rode the elevator down and started for the car. The sun was hot and heavy. I could feel it on my skin as soon as we stepped out of the building. It was the sweating kind of heat, you could just stand still and sweat. “Now we have a time line, Lee said. “We need to time how long it takes to get from here back to your house.” He looked at his watch. “It’s twelve oh four now.” 333


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We waited for a car to pass so we could cross the street. We were standing between two parked cars. I didn’t cross. I was frozen. Lee started across, then stopped when he saw I wasn’t moving. Someone passed behind us on the sidewalk. I didn’t want to look behind me, but I did. As soon as I turned to look, it hit me. It hit me so hard my knees buckled. A complete immersion of anger and sickness. I had to put my hands on the two cars to steady myself. Lee stepped back and grabbed me by the arms. “What’s wrong with you?” I was looking past him at the woman. She continued on without looking back. She was wearing sunglasses, but looked to be in her mid-twenties. Jeans and heels, her hair looked dyed. I felt like I was going to throw up. The heat was pushing me down to the sidewalk. “That woman that just passed,” I started. Lee guided me down to the curb and looked in her direction. “Yeah?” “Follow her, see where she goes.” “Why?” “She’s involved.” I said. “With what? Annie?” “Just follow her.” “Are you going to be alright?” he asked. “Yeah. I’m going to go across the street and get a bottle of water.” I wasn’t going anywhere. I would have more likely rolled under the parked car to get into the shade. He left and I pushed myself up. I slumped back down. My head was pounding like I had just been smacked again. I was feeling much better by the time Lee returned. He didn’t look so good though. “Where did she go?” “To Phillips, Farrah, and Lough. She’s the missing secretary.”

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87 I checked on Annie as soon as we got back to the car. The first thing I noticed was there was a lot of activity in the room. I counted three nurses and two doctors, one of which was the guy who had set up the video link. All of them looked concerned and were moving around with purpose. The second thing was the breathing tube was gone. She was still hooked to several machines, but she seemed to be breathing on her own. I used Lee’s phone to call the hospital, so I could still watch the video on mine. After yelling at two or three people I got to talk to the doctor in the room. I put it on speaker. “Yes, Mr. Finn your wife had an episode a few minutes ago.” “What happened?” I said. “We’re still looking at that,” he said. “Tell me what you know.” “At twelve oh four your wife had an episode similar to the one she had when you were here. Most of her vitals spiked and she had a physical response of shaking and twitching.” “Kind of like a fight or flight response,” I said. “Hummm, that’s an interesting way to put it, but yes,” he said. “Is she all right now?” “Yes, she is stable. I was waiting for her to stabilize before calling you, which is what I was going to do just before you called. “When is she going to wake up?” 335


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“Mr. Finn, you will be the first person I call.” “Just Finn, you don’t know do you?” “She is not following the normal pattern, so it’s difficult to predict.” We spoke for a couple more minutes and I clicked off. Lee said, “Twelve oh four?” I heard that also but wasn’t going to bring it up. “That’s the moment we saw the secretary and you went down,” he said. I didn’t say anything. I stared at the road. “Are you two like aliens or something?” He said it so seriously I started laughing. He looked at me once then back to the road. He started laughing too. “I’ll never forget the way you ducked that ball that Warren threw at you,” he said. I wouldn’t say anything, I couldn’t. “Let’s talk about the time line,” I said. “We left Milton at twelve twenty. We’ll see how long it will take us to get back, but I’ll bet my next pay check that it took her about three and a half hours. That puts her at home about four. You left for the library that night at six. We’re missing about two hours.” “Whoever did this did it for the money, right?” I asked. “Let’s assume so.” “They wouldn’t have had much time to plan it, if Annie only found out that morning. And how were they going to rob us? We didn’t even have the money, it was in the bank. The bank was closed by that time.” “The bank. Maybe she went to the bank and switched the money around. How long would that take?” he said. “I figure they’d want more information for four million than for four thousand. But the real question is who knew all of Annie’s personal information and had access to the bank information?” “The secretary,” we said in unison. *** 336


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The rest of the way back we talked through our options. He decided we weren’t in a hurry. I was out of the house and pretty much out of danger from a lynch mob. Annie was coming back before too long, fingers crossed. And she was being protected at the hospital. Lee suggested we wait and watch, since we really didn’t have a scenario of what happened. “Right now all we have is conjecture and circumstantial evidence that leads nowhere,” he said. He decided he wasn’t in a hurry, but I knew what I was going to do. *** I was shocked, as I had been before, of what Otis and Squirrel could complete when left alone. The yard around the house was back under control. They had used a hedgehog to cut back everything. The dock was in the river and attached to the wooden stairs. It floated peacefully on the green water. It projected about ten yards out into the water, which seemed long, but again we were in the outside bend in the river and I didn’t think any watercraft would crash into it. They had found a swing and attached it with chains to the ceiling of the porch. They were there swinging and talking. “Still working things out?” I asked. I sat on the front steps. “Nope, we’re finished with that,” Otis said. “We’re making a list of everything at a grocery store that ends in ‘O’. “Jell-O,” I said. “Got it,” Otis said. “Drano, Mayo, Espresso,” I said. “Got’em,” Squirrel said. “Oreo, potato, tomato, Eggo, Rollo,” I said. Squirrel started writing, “Didn’t have Eggo,” he said. “And we threw out Rollo because it’s technically Rollo’s,” Otis said. “Same thing with Cheerio’s and Spaghettio’s.” 337


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“Yeah, Rollo is Fred’s friend on Sanford and Son,” Squirrel said. “We hung around to tell you there will be no electric until later on in the week. Could be tomorrow though, can’t promise anything,” Otis said. “That means some of the guys we have subcontracted can’t do much because they can’t use some of their tools. We don’t want them sitting around doing nothing.” “The ones who can get started will be here first thing,” Otis said. “As will we,” Squirrel said, getting up and stretching. “We set up the bed in the biggest room upstairs,” Otis said. “And we left a flashlight on the mantle.” They went to their truck without saying anything else, performed a perfect three point turn around my car, and started out the drive. I hopped down the steps and stopped them before they could get away. Otis rolled down his window. “I really appreciate this you guys,” I started to say. “Don’t mention it,” he said and kept moving. I watched the truck wind its way down Hope Road. “Taco,” I yelled. I went back to the steps, sat down, and checked on Annie. While I stared at my wife the darkness settled in around me.

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88 I looked up from the phone. The tree line was behind me, so I could see the sky which sparkled with hundreds of stars. The river was an omnipresent entity, an understated but powerful force. If left alone it was harmless. But if bothered, it felt deadly. That night I had no intentions of getting near it or the dock. My feet felt fine planted on soil. This place was creepy at night. The swing on the porch was calling my name. I rocked back and forth for a while until I noticed the squeaking of the chain was the only sound I could hear. There wasn’t a buzz, a beep, or a chirp coming from anywhere along the river. It was an unsettling silence, like the environment was waiting to see what I was going to do. I was the new cowboy who walks into the Saloon and stops all conversation by his mere presence. The guys had placed the swing perfectly. I could slouch down and hook my heels on the porch railing. That stopped the squeaking. It was comfortable too. So, comfortable I dozed off. I awoke suddenly, like I sometimes do in a strange place. And what I saw was one of the strangest things I had ever seen. A mist was rising up from the water, thick as a wall of boxwood. It glowed white in the moonlight and spread only to the sides of the river, then stopped at its banks. Shroud-like, the river was concealed. It was pulled by the water, but at a slower speed. It undulated along, drawn by the same drummer but at a different beat. It was soft and hypnotic. And completely without sound. I watched for a while, awestruck at nature and by the science I didn’t know. The mist completely blocked the view 339


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of the opposite bank, making this stretch of river feel even more isolated. I felt a dampness on my face and arms. Dew was forming on the railing and porch. I wasn’t sure how long I was asleep but it felt like it was the middle of the night. Could I have been out for several hours? I felt my way into the house, toward where I thought the mantle might be. The room was pitch black. The only illumination was coming from the brightness of the mist on the river. When I was just about there, I stepped through a cold spot. The dampness on my skin instantly chilled me and I shivered. A slice of nausea crept into my stomach. Not much, but I could taste the last thing that I had eaten. Someone was whispering on the other side of the room. I lurched forward and left the cold spot behind. My stomach felt better instantly, but I had a creeping knowledge that I wasn’t alone. Like just catching a spider in your peripheral vision. But here I felt if I would look directly at it, I couldn’t see it. It struck me that I was talking about an it. I stumbled forward flailing for the mantle. I touched it and slid my hand along its length until I felt the flashlight. I swung the beam around the room. No one there. I went back around slowly, shining it behind anything that could be hidden behind. Nothing. I clicked off the flashlight and listened. I only heard my own jagged breathing. The front door stood open, framed by the glowing mist outside. Then, for an instant I saw a figure in the doorway. It was back lit by the mist. No features, no details just a silhouette of darkness against the brightness of the mist. I turned on the flashlight and aimed it in that direction. There was nothing there. My first thought was that I was still asleep. I bit the inside of my cheek and it hurt, so that was out. I rushed to the door and slammed it shut, locked it. I’m not sure why. Things that don’t show up in a flashlight beam usually don’t have much trouble with locked doors. 340


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I leapt up the stairs to the bedroom. The room had a pair of windows that over looked the river and a single window that faced the dark woods to the right. The guys had put the bed on the wall opposite the single window so my feet faced the window and the door was on my right. I felt for the light switch and flipped it on out of habit. Nothing happened The air was warm and dank, the house had been shut up too long and the upstairs smelled like the bottom of a birdcage. The odor was much worse up here than it had been downstairs. I hoped it just needed a good airing out because I couldn’t live with a smell like that. The flashlight beam fell across a dusty floor and the furniture they had carried in this morning. The bed was only a mattress with a sheet thrown over it and another sheet folded up as a pillow. I didn’t recognize either sheet, but I laid down anyway and pulled my phone out to check Annie. She was there sleeping peacefully, beautiful and content. That was beginning to give me strength. I wished I could be there beside her or her here beside me. We were good people, at least I was trying and Annie was probably good since birth. I was starting to get angry for what was happening to us. She’s in a coma and I’m getting invisible visitors on my front porch. All Annie and I wanted was each other. “LEAVE US ALONE!” I shouted. Nothing happened. I let my head fall down onto the mattress. I thought about our night after the talent show and the world felt a touch lighter. I drifted off with the thought of her in my arms again. I woke up the next morning with sunlight streaming into the room. The flashlight lay at my side, emitting a dim yellowish light. It was time to poke the bear.

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89 I called Lee after I showered. I had to drive clear back to the house on the hill, the alternative being a bath in the river or a shower in the untested water of my new house. Neither of which I was willing to risk, so I decided to get another car load of stuff and drop it off before I went back to Milton. “I’m going back to Milton, did you talk to anyone about a warrant?” “No,” he said. “I thought we agreed to wait.” “You can wait, I’m going to shake the cage a little,” I said. “You can’t do anything, you’re just a regular citizen, and not a very good one at that,” he said. “If I get you a cell number, can you find out who she calls?” “Yeah.” “You don’t need a warrant for that?” “It’s not a wiretap, so no but...” he trailed off. “But what?” “It gets into a kind of gray area.” “When I get there I’m going to call and give you the cell number. Then, I’m going to do some gentle probing. You see who she calls.” “This is not a good plan,” he said. “Just get the number,” I said. “I’ll have to make a request. What is the reason we are targeting this particular person? I can’t say you got all shaky and collapsed when she walked by. A judge might frown on that kind of evidence.” “Say I recognized her voice.” 342


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“You didn’t hear her voice,” he said. “They don’t know that,” I said. “Man, I hope you never have to take the stand.” “I’ll call with the number,” I said and hung up.

343


90 Like the day before, the secretary’s station was unmanned at Phillips, Farrah, and Lough. Lough was at his desk, feet up, reading the newspaper. I was seated in front of his desk before he knew I was there. I sat, folded my hands, and smiled. He turned down the top half of the paper and looked at me. “You’re back,” he said. “Well spotted,’ I said. “Where’s the cop?” he said. “He had like, evidence and stuff to work on,” I said. “So you came alone,” he said. “Yep,” I said. I sat and smiled, he looked at me over his newspaper. “Whatever happened to Phillips and Farrah?” “Farrah wanted to spend more time fishing, Phillips ran off with the previous secretary.” “So that leaves you to handle everything?” I said. “Yes sir. Doing a pretty good job of it too. You know this is the third time you have been here in three days. I’d be fishing too, if I could bill you for all the time I’ve spent with you,” he said. “Could you give me your secretary’s cell number?” I said. “Why?” he said. “I think she’s involved in some way,” I said. He took in a breath that looked like he was going to launch into some kind of defense, but then he laid his paper down, walked over and closed the door. On the wall behind the door 344


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was a cork board with pieces of paper tacked to it. He looked them over, then pulled one off. He handed it to me and I dialed Lee. I gave him the number. Lough sat back down in his chair. “I have to admit, she has been a bit squirrelly the past couple of months. Looks different, acts different. “Alright if I try something?” I said. “Sure, sure. I’d hate to think this office had something to do with the attack on your wife,” he said. I reached in just a whiff. Just to make completely sure he wasn’t involved in any way. He wasn’t. “I’m going to go to the diner, is there another way out of here?” “Yeah, just take the stairs,” he said. “And as soon as she gets here, call me. I’m going to come back and light a fuse.” I liked using police lingo. “Okay?” “Got it,” he said. I took the stairs and made it to the diner. “Do you have any kind of omelet?” I asked the counter guy. “No.” “Quiche?” “No.” “French Toast?” “No, I can get you a couple of pieces of toast and some syrup,” he said. I ordered a cheeseburger.

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91 I made it through my burger, a large fry, and was working on the banana split when my phone rang. She had just walked in. I asked Lough if he could leave the office without looking like it was on purpose. He said he could. I gave him another ten minutes then paid my bill. I took the elevator up and prepared my speech in the hallway. I burst in and moved to her desk in three strides. She recognized me, I’m not sure how she recognized me, but she did. I could see it in her eyes. She was started then scared. So scared I couldn’t read what she was thinking. But, I knew she was part of it. And, she knew that I knew. She scooted her chair as far back as she could. I put my hands on her desk and leaned over it. “I know you were part of it,” I snarled. “What I don’t know is who you work with.” Her mouth opened and closed like a fish. She pushed hard against the armrests of the chair, away from me. On her desk was a plastic office caddy filled with pens, pencils, and other office stuff. I swept my arm across it hard. It flew across the desk and smashed against the wall, sending the contents in all directions. “When I find out, and I will find out, I’m not going to the police. Get what I mean. What’s the worst way you could die?” I reached in quickly and saw she was hanging by her feet from a rope, upside down. I don’t know where that came from, maybe a movie. “How about hanging upside down until you die?” 346


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She actually turned white. I didn’t have to say anything else. Nothing I could add would frighten her any more than she already was. I gave her a lasting farewell stare and walked out the door. I got to my car and sat there for a moment, decompressing. When I had recouped and felt a bit more like myself I called Lee. “Did you get it?” “Get what?” “A number she called after I left. That’s going to be the other person involved.” “Not yet. Like I said it’s not a wiretap. This will let me look at numbers she has called after the fact. Not in real time.” “When then?” “Maybe when you get back.” “Okay, I’ll swing by when I get back into town.” “Okay, Finn listen,” he said. His demeanor changed. “The hospital called. “What happened?” I said, fear rising through me. “They want to talk to you about Annie’s condition,” he said. “What about it? Did something happen?” “No that’s just it, nothing is happening. She should have woken up by now. Call them. Talk to them. They can explain it in medical terms.” I called and they explained it in medical terms which came out blah, blah, blah, she’s not waking up. There in the car, parked on Main Street in Milton, I started getting a sensation I had never had before. It wasn’t bad, it was uncomfortable, but not painful. I was for the first time reaching into myself. No, reaching in was wrong, I was emitting something about myself that I could read. It was as if something had breached in my abilities and now was the first time it was really coming to light. I felt that I was a cog in a wheel, not the huge wheel of the universe, but a small wheel. Annie wasn’t going to wake up until I did something. I wasn’t sure what it was I was meant to do, or even if it was 347


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within my power to do it, but I knew it was going to be up to me. And she was waiting, wherever her mind was now, for me to do it. Time and destiny walk hand in hand. Wheels within wheels.

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92 I pulled into town and stopped at the stop light about a block from the police station. I still got fired up thinking about the secretary. Several times on the way back I thought of other things I should have said. I should have taken a knife and flashed it around. Thrown and stuck it in the wall behind her head. I’m not a violent person, but they left Annie for dead. Before the light changed, I caught a glimpse of the fender of a police car parked on a side street. I inched forward to see the driver. It was Warren. I figured, what the heck? When the light turned green I popped the clutch and laid rubber as I fishtailed around the turn. I was twenty yards down the road when I saw the blue lights. Luckily I was only about fifty yards from the police station. I pulled into the parking lot with Warren right behind me. He thought he had me this time and was relishing the moment. Normally cops take their time getting their stuff together and getting out of the car. Warren was no different, but I beat him to the punch. I was at his window while he thought I was getting my license and registration out. He struggled getting his seat belt off. When he did he tried to open his door. I pushed it shut. “Step away from the car!” he yelled. “Warren, Warren, Warren,” I said shaking my head. “Everybody in town knows you’re the one leaking the information. You need to stop.” He shoved against the door a couple of times but didn’t have the leverage that I did. He pulled out his gun. 349


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“Warren, are you going to shoot me? Here in the parking lot, when I have an appointment with the chief?” His face had turned that beet color it always changes to when he’s around me. “I’m talking to an attorney about a libel suit. Check it out if you want. Phillips, Farrah, and Lough.” He put the gun back in the holster. “You think those guys at the paper are not going to reveal their source? They only go to jail for that on TV. They’d give you up quicker than a duck on ice.” I didn’t know what that meant but, hey, I was monologuing. “Stop it, Warren. It’s unbecoming of a police office.” I turned and walked into the station. *** “The call went to a Patrick Snyder,” Lee said. “Looks like a half-brother to the secretary. They have different last names.” I was in the Chief’s office. Lee was reporting to me and his dad. “This guy has a long rap sheet,” he said. “Mostly drug related, although there are a couple of assaults.” “Lay it out for me,” the Chief said. I loved it when they used cop talk. “The secretary knew everything about the Finns, she had done the research for the law firm. We thought it would have been impossible for anyone to plan this, since Annie had just found out about the money and Finn never did. And we were right to an extent, but we didn’t realize that the secretary had been planning this for months.” I got up and poured myself some coffee, then sat back down. The Chief said. “Would you like some coffee?” “No thanks, I have some,” I said. I held up the mug. I think he was starting to question Lee’s friend choosing ability. “I think she had this Patrick and an UNSUB already here in town when Annie came in for her appointment.”

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“How were they actually going to get the money?” the Chief asked. “Don’t know,” Lee said. “Haven’t nailed down that part of the caper yet,” I said. The Chief leaned back in his chair, laced his hands behind his head. “What do you want to do?” he asked Lee. “Let’s go pick him up and sweat him,” I said. “We can’t pick him up, Lee said. “Out of our jurisdiction.” “No, but Milton can. We have enough to bring him in for questioning,” the Chief said. He was already reaching for the phone. “Can we get the phone records for the next person Patrick called? That’s probably going to be another UNSUB,” I said proudly. “Would you get him out of here?” the Chief said. Lee walked me out to my car. “What did you say to the secretary to get her rattled?” “I told her I was going to kill all of them.” “You what!” “I also had a little run in with Warren,” I said. “What happened?” “I told him to stop snitching. I think he was going to shoot me, so I wouldn’t let him out of his car.” “How did you do that?” “I kept shoving on his door.” “That’s like several laws broken in multiple counties. All before noon.” “And they said I was an underachiever.”

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93 Contractors were all over the place at the river house. Pickups filled the parking spot and a few were parked along the side of the narrow road. I pulled in behind the last one on the left side of the road, got out and walked toward the house. I could hear a symphony of pounding and sawing, talking and drilling. Squirrel saw me coming up the road and waved me over. “Too much wood paneling in this house, okay if we take down some walls and put dry wall up?” Squirrel asked. “It’s your call,” I said. “Good ‘cause it’s already down.” He walked me around and introduced me to the few guys I didn’t know. Most had worked on the other house, a couple of them even told me they were sorry about Annie. Some of the guys had already finished for the day, so Otis, wanting to get a full day’s work out of them, had sent them back to the other house to retrieve everything from kitchen utensils to clothes. The guys found an old picnic table in the garage and placed it in the shade of the willow. It was just at the top of the dock stairs. I could picture Annie and I having lunch there during summer vacation. I checked my phone. Every time I thought of her I checked my phone. Squirrel and Otis ambled down to the table and sat across from me. Otis started, “So I told you I had a cousin who grew up around these parts.” I nodded. 352


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“I’m pretty sure this is the area that he used to talk about, though I’ve only seen it from a boat on the river. He would only drive by here at full speed. We could never fish anywhere in sight of this place and he would not ever consider stopping and exploring the river bank like we did in some places.” “He thought it was haunted?” I asked. “He wouldn’t come right out and say so, but yeah he was scared of the place.” “Why, what had he seen?” I asked. “Nothing as far as I know. His parents told him there were marshes around that would swallow you up without a trace. He used that as an excuse not to stop and get out. He didn’t have much of an excuse for flying by at full speed every time.” “Tell him about the knuckles,” Squirrel said. “Yeah. Whenever we would pass by he would lean down on the boat’s throttle so hard his knuckles would turn white. Kind of held his breath until we passed.” “I didn’t quite know what to do, you had already bought the place, I don’t really believe any of this stuff anyway.” “I do,” Squirrel said. “What about these guys?” I said tilting my head toward the house. “I didn’t hire any from up this way.” Squirrel said, “But the people from up here believe it, especially if it’s something that has been passed down for generations. I say we find some old timers and ask them about it.” “We can do that on our own time,” Otis said. “Maybe we can get a book out of it, or at least get a paper published,” Squirrel said. “We’ve been thinking about getting our doctorates,” Otis said. “Something kind of folksy, you know mountain lore or something like that,” Squirrel said. “So did you ever see or hear anything about a mist coming off the river?” I asked.

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“No, but I was never around at night. I was thinking about calling my cousin tonight, I’ll ask.” *** The crew worked until early evening. Otis and Squirrel figured out the time and money owed. Some would be back and others were finished. Otis and Squirrel hung around after everyone else was gone “You don’t seem like river people,” Otis said. “River people?” “People who live along the river are their own special breed,” Squirrel said. “I guess I’m not,” I said. “We’re gonna teach you. Well, at least get you a taste of river life.” “How you going to do that?” I said. “You got a pan?” Squirrel asked. “Nope,” I said. “See what I mean,” Otis said. He went to his truck and came back with a pan, an ax, and three fishing rods. Squirrel moseyed off into the woods with the ax and a plastic container that once contained peanut butter. I could hear him whistling even after he was out of sight. After a while he was back dragging three long branches. He laid them by the picnic table and said, “Come on.” We followed a short path and found more branches that he had chopped. The plastic container was topped with a lid which had slits cut into the top. “Is that bait?” I asked. “You betcha, anything that crawled, slithered, or jumped,” he said. It was nearly six o’clock and the sun was going down over the mountain on the other side of the river. Night came sooner in the valley down here on the river bank. The air was considerably cooler in the indirect sunlight. 354


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“Look at that,” Squirrel said looking up. I looked up. Through the trees I could see vultures, dozens of them, circling in the air. They were at different altitudes, spiraling down at intervals like the landing pattern at an airport. I had a better look when we got to the river bank. One glided along the river showing its pink featherless head. It was huge. There were more coming in from all directions, all circling in the same pattern. Strange. “What are we going after?” I asked. “Fish,” Squirrel said. “We’re not particular?” I asked. “River people eat them all,” Squirrel said. We baited the hooks with an earth worm, a large centipede, and a grasshopper; all three still alive. Otis went back to his truck and came back this time with a ukulele and a crossbow. The crossbow had a spool of nylon rope attached to it. “Whoa, what are you going to do with that?” I said. “Squirrel likes to play it,” he said. “Not the ukulele, the crossbow.” “I’m going to fish with it. Carp don’t bite much this time of year. If I can see them I can shoot them,” he said. “Is that legal?” I asked. “Don’t know, don’t care. If the Indians did it, it’s legal to me.” “The Indians used crossbows?” “You get what I mean.” “Don’t worry, he doesn’t usually do more than scare off the rest of the fish,” Squirrel said. We cast the three lines and Otis went to the end of the dock and started scanning the water. Squirrel began strumming the ukulele. I pulled up Annie on my phone. I wished she could be here, fishing with the guys. She would have loved it. Maybe soon. “That her?” Squirrel asked. I held the phone out for him to see. He nodded. “That’s gotta be tough,” he said. I didn’t say anything, didn’t have to. 355


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We heard a splash and looked up. Otis was pulling in the crossbow line, there was nothing on the arrow. “That was close,” he said. “Right,” Squirrel said. After an hour we had pulled in a half dozen bass and three catfish. Otis had shot several more times but hit nothing. He reluctantly gave up when it was too dark to see in the water. “Low man cleans the fish,” Squirrel said. “We’re going to build the fire,” he said to me. I was pretty useless after that. Squirrel chopped the wood into smaller pieces and got the fire started. Then he freed the rest of the insects and worms that we hadn’t used. He went to the truck and returned with a cooler. Inside he had all the ingredients for fixing the fish. They were as efficient at this as they were at their jobs. It occurred to me that they had prepared for all of this, it wasn’t spur of the moment. “Thanks for doing this,” I said while the fish were cooking. Squirrel was strumming again. “Otis said, “I just wanted to get some fishing in.” “I just wanted to see a ghost,” Squirrel said. “Were we really going to eat the carp?” I asked. “Oh yeah. It’s all in how you fix it.” Otis had plastic plates and utensils in the cooler. He handed out bottled water to each of us. The fish was good, even though I’m not a big fish guy. As soon as it was cooked and on our plates, Otis would cook some more. That went on for four rounds. The river slowly rolled by as we ate. The fire cast a light halfway across the river. It crackled like dry wood does and every once in a while a knot in the wood would pop and send a smoking ember corkscrewing out of the fire. I got the feeling they were just hanging around for my sake. “Time to go,” I said. Squirrel stopped strumming. “I know what you’re doing and I appreciate it, but you don’t have to baby sit me.” 356


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They looked at each other, then at me, and slowly nodded. “Sure?” Squirrel said. “Yep,” I said. “We’ll leave this stuff here for tomorrow, just in case,” Otis said. “Put it on the porch,” I said. “I’ll let the fire burn down. As they walked to their truck Otis said, “See ya in the morning boss-man.” I watched them go from the porch, then went inside and walked past the growing wall of boxes stacked in the dinning/ kitchen area. I found my trusty flashlight there and tucked it under my arm. As I reached the stairs I had a thought and went back to the door and locked it.

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94 I heard the sound before I opened my eyes. I lay waiting, hoping it was something I dreamed, instead of a scratching sound in the room. Adrenaline kicked in and I tried to keep from breathing loudly. But that wasn’t working so I gathered the sheet in my fist and covered my mouth and nose. The sound came again, but this time from downstairs. Like claws on the floor boards. I forced myself to think of an animal, a raccoon or fox that could have gotten in looking for food. I felt for my flashlight. I could have sworn I had fallen asleep with it still in my hand. But it wasn’t anywhere on the bed. I swept my hand over the cover as soundlessly as I could, but it wasn’t there. Without raising my head I opened my eyes and tried to scan the room with as little movement as possible. Moonlight cut in through the window. In the complete darkness of the room the shaft of light seemed much brighter than it was. In the silver blue light everything was tinted a different color. The room was off balance and dreamlike. When my eyes adjusted I could see just about everything except the deep corners. It seemed safe so I raised myself up on one elbow. The room was so quiet that I was starting to allow myself to think I really had dreamed the sounds. That didn’t last long. I spotted the thing I was searching for, but it wasn’t where I had left it. The flashlight stood on its end on the window sill facing the woods. The moonlight reflected off the silver shaft. It didn’t make any sense, but there it was. 358


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Before my mind could comprehend what that meant there was another, louder scrape downstairs. Then a bang like one of the boxes in the kitchen had fallen over. I tried to stifle a scream but it came out as a grunt. Something was tearing the room apart. That got the heart beating and the adrenaline pumping again. Fight or flight. I tried to focus. Three windows. The two over in the front had a porch under them, but that left a ten foot drop from the porch roof to the sloping ground below. The other window was two stories of nothing and a twenty foot drop. The windows weren’t much of an option. I peeled back the sheet which was damp with sweat and climbed out of bed on unsteady legs. I was wearing a pair of gym trunks that were shorter than I would normally wear in public, but modesty was not a concern now. I was sweating like a madman, I could feel it running down my shins and temples. My feet didn’t want to move. I scooted them across the room to the flashlight. It was only about twelve feet but it seemed to take forever. For some reason the weight of the flashlight made me feel better. There hadn’t been any noise downstairs for what seemed like a good while. Time is hard to measure when you are scared senseless. The lack of sound didn’t feel like a good thing, it felt more like there was something waiting for me downstairs, tight as a spring and ready to pounce. My nerves were jangling and the sound of my own heart pumping made it hard for me listen. I glanced out the window and saw the sky was overcast to the south. Clouds blotted out the stars and I saw a dull flash of heat lightening behind them. Soon the clouds would be here and the moonlight would be lost. The woods to the right was unaffected by the moonlight. The area that was so dark in the daytime was even darker at night. The trees more deformed and gnarled.

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From right under my window, a wisp of mist tracked in a straight line to the trees. It was shaped more like a vapory flame than a person. It moved with a purpose. It twisted and churned as it moved, without shape or substance it dissolved into the woods. Another noise from downstairs jolted me into action. The scraping was back and closer this time. The sound was on the stairs. A horrible scraping of talons on wood. I backed up into the corner of the room, flashlight in my hand and eyes fixed on the door, and waited.

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95 The room got cold. I was covered with a fine sheen of perspiration, my hair was plastered to the back of my neck. I rubbed my forearm across my forehead to wipe away the sweat. Then, nothing happened. I waited. There was not another sound. Not a bump, a scrape, or bang. My hand began to cramp from holding the flashlight tightly so I put it in the other hand and flexed my fingers. It remained off, I’m not sure why I hadn’t turned it on. Maybe I was scared that the light would draw something to me. I started to relax, maybe my night of terror was over. I wondered how much longer until dawn. To calm myself I took a long breath, held it and let it out slowly. The moment I exhaled, I felt a long cold breath on my neck. I jumped out of the corner and sprang for the door. Before I knew what I was doing I was on the landing and slamming the door closed behind me. My only thought was to get out of the house. I flipped on the flashlight to light up the stairs then stopped in my tracks. My set of carving knives, all twenty-six of them had been plunged in the wall leading up the steps. They were unevenly stabbed in a random pattern as if someone had a taken a step then punched a knife violently into the wall. Then another step, and another. Something oozed off the stair railing. It fell in lumpy globs and glistened in the flashlight beam. I stood mystified, not knowing what to do. I moved the beam across the room to the front door. I squinted, but I could see the deadbolt was still locked. The room was a mess, chairs overturned and the contents of boxes strewn over the floor. 361


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Slowly the door behind me opened. I swung the flashlight around and into the room. The beam cut across nothing until it landed on my bed. I had been wrong, only twenty five knives were in the wall. The twenty sixth was embedded in my headboard, still quivering. The next thing I knew I was outside on the porch looking around for someplace to hide. I had made it down the stairs and opened the locked door and now had absolutely no idea of what to do. I was on the edge of the porch right in front of the steps when I heard the door creak behind me. Fight or flight again. I looked to my right and a mist figure was standing beside me. There were no details, no face body or head, just a swirling mist of vapor. It seemed to be sizing me up. The flashlight was in my right hand. I struck out and sliced through its mid-section like I was wielding a saber. That was as useless as karate chopping smoke. The mist separated as the flashlight passed through then reformed into the original shape. It giggled at me. At least that’s what it felt like. Had I reached in without knowing it? Reached in a spirit? I tried again, and BAM. I was running. And scared, I’d never been this scared before. I was running down a dark sidewalk and a van was following me. I wanted to run back to my friends but the van was between us. If I turned back he would get me and then... Who knows what he would do to me. I shouldn’t have worn these shoes, I can’t run fast enough. He’s getting closer every time I look back. I catch my shoe on something, I’m falling..... I fell back away from the mist and on to the cement porch floor. My head hit the bottom of the swing and split my scalp. I felt blood trickle down my neck in a place where the hair was growing back. The mist swirled in on itself rapidly, it’s as surprised as I was. It reminded me of a snow globe someone has shaken too hard. The mist moved off the porch rapidly and started toward the woods next door. I helplessly watched as it melted into the trees. 362


96 I awoke to the sound of trucks pulling into the spot in front of the house. I was in the porch swing lengthwise, my feet dangling over the armrest. I ventured back into the house last night only to retrieve a shirt and a pair of shoes. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep inside. The truck doors opened and closed and I could hear Otis and Squirrel’s voices. They had driven separately, but were finishing a conversation they had started earlier. “You can’t tell me the original Angels weren’t the best trio ever on TV.” “What about ‘Three’s Company’? The stooges?” “Not even close, I...” They stopped on the steps. “What are you doing out here?” I was as stiff as a board and ached all over. The series of adrenaline rushes had knocked the life out of me. My head didn’t want to turn either way, it was locked in a state of forwardness and my shoulders felt like cement blocks. Sleeping in the porch swing hadn’t helped either, my legs from the knee down were tingling with needles. I tried to get myself into a sitting position, my body was resisting me. “Yeah, I had some visitors last night.” “Who?” Squirrel asked. I motioned with my head the best I could. “See for yourself.” Otis pushed the door open and stepped inside, Squirrel followed. I listened but neither one of them said anything. After a minute they both came back out. 363


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“Tell me it was a ghost, please tell me it was a ghost,” Squirrel said. “I was a misty like thing,” I said. “Damn!” Squirrel said. “And you actually saw it?” Otis said. “Them. I saw them.” “Hot damn!” Squirrel said. “Can you guys fix the holes in the wall?” I asked. “You got ghosts and you are worried about holes in the wall?” Otis asked. “People freak out over termites, you got ghosts and you’re like, “Can you fix these holes?” “Ghost holes,” Squirrel said. “Can you fix them before anybody else sees them?” I said. I rubbed my legs to get the feeling back. “Well yeah, probably. You’re getting power today and the air conditioning guy is going to be here.” Otis said. “We gotta catch one,” Squirrel said. “What!?” Otis and I said together. “How cool would that be?” Squirrel said. “Yeah, well, that may be a little more dangerous than you might think. There is also a knife in my head board.” “What are you going to do?” Otis asked. “About what?” “About what? You’re living in a haunted house.” “A haunted house. How cool is that?” Squirrel said. “I don’t know, been thinking about it. I could just get out and forget about all the money I’ve put into this place,” I said. “Or I could stay and see what’s what.” “That’s crazy,” Otis said. “I called my cousin last night and he told me to stay away from this place. He said he never saw the mist like you saw but his mother did. She called it River Mist. She said that’s where the spirits hide when they want to walk the Earth.” “They mingle with the mist,” Squirrel said. “They’re mist minglers.” I gotta see this!” I rotated my neck. 364


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“Where did they come from? Where did they go?” Squirrel asked. “I don’t know where they came from, but they went into those woods,” I nodded towards the trees. “Well, let’s go,” Squirrel said. “I’m not,’ Otis said. “You guys are nuts.” But as Squirrel and I made our way down the steps and across the yard, Otis was right behind us.

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97 “This isn’t right, you guys ain’t right,” Otis said. But he stayed with us. Once at the edge of the trees we stopped and looked things over. “There’s no path here, no broken branches or footprints,” Squirrel said. The darkness had a heaviness that was hard to describe. It was unnatural, forbidding. It didn’t want to give up its secrets. Each misshapen tree was enveloped in fungus and mushrooms. Nothing that grew here looked healthy. There was none of the bright greens and yellows of summer, just browns, sickly shades of gray, and mustard yellow. Otis didn’t want to go any farther and I could see that Squirrel was losing his nerve. He stood with his hands on his hips surveying the area. I brushed past him and kept walking. The forest swallowed the sound of my steps. “Wait up,” Otis said. Squirrel picked up a big stick. A wolf spider skittered to the end and leaped off just as he began to thrash some bushes. We zigzagged through the large tree trunks and mashed down the smaller growth. From the outside, the forest wall seemed yards thick, but after only five minutes of beating through the growth we came out into a large treeless area. The meadow was about half as big as a football field and covered in knee high grass. The distorted trees ringed three sides and the fourth side was formed by the river. Out here in 366


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the open the sun beat down harshly even at this time in the morning. The only things growing here were grass and a few saplings that sprouted hopefully in random places. The hillside rose rapidly behind the trees at the back of the property. “Look at that,” Squirrel said. Near the back, but before the trees, steam was rising into the air. “Let’s take a look,” he said. “Let’s not,” Otis said. “There’s supposed to be quicksand around here.” “Walk behind me then, so if there is, we won’t all fall in at once,” Squirrel said. We walked past some sort of building that had fallen down years ago. It was nearly flat now, just panels of boards fading in the sun. “That looks like snake city,” Otis said as we walked by the boards. “Must be water,” Squirrel said, looking ahead. “I can see some cattails. The shape was irregular but it was the size of an ice rink. That’s what it was, a big shallow pond that was steaming because of the angle of the sun. The water didn’t look deep but you sure couldn’t see the bottom. “Oh, wow.” Squirrel said. He was looking up into the trees. Above us, in the trees were the vultures. Dozens of them watched us silently with weary eyes. I could see their thick leathery talons gripping the branches where they perched. Dozens of others had their backs turned and wings spread warming themselves in the morning sun. It was an eerie and magnificent sight. We froze in our tracks. “They only eat dead stuff, right?” Otis asked. “Yeah,” Squirrel said. A few of the vultures that hadn’t been watching us turned their pink featherless heads at the sound of our voices. “Looks like they’d like to eat something. They look hungry,” Otis said. 367


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“That’s the way they always look,” Squirrel said. “How do you know?” I asked. “National Geographic,” he said. One vulture fluttered its feathers sparking several others to do the same. They didn’t flutter like a regular bird. Their wings were thick and heavy. I agreed with Otis. They looked hungry. “We seen enough over here?” Otis asked. “I’m good,” I said. “Me, too,” Squirrel said. We walked backward slowly keeping our eyes on the hundreds of red eyes looking back at us. One of the birds that had been sunning itself leaped off of its branch and began a slow circle over our heads. It pounded the air with incredibly long wings and began to rise on an updraft. Majestic in its own malevolent way. We didn’t turn away from them until we were back at the tree line. By that time the sky was full of vultures circling then spinning off to where ever it was in the sky that they spent their day. As we emerged from the woods a truck was pulling up in front of the house. It was the air conditioning guy. “I’ll get some dry wall mud and start on the holes in the wall,” Otis said. “I’ll get the air guy going,” Squirrel said. “The power should be on by now.” I went in and checked Annie on my phone, no change. I needed to call Lee and check the progress of the case. I also needed to think. I couldn’t help believing I was the key to something. What, I didn’t know.

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98 Annie’s MRI was very positive, I guess. Her brain activity was normal, which was very important. The doctors were very pleased with this. All her vital signs and outputs were great, everyone had positive expectations. But, she wasn’t waking up. No one seemed to know why. There were plenty of theories and opinions, but no concrete evidence of what was wrong. Guarded optimism. That’s the phrase they liked to use. The more they used it the less I liked it. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was getting the public face of a sliding campaign. I was constantly optimistic then pessimistic. I stood pondering all this while watching her on my phone. I was about halfway between the woods and the house standing in the shade of the willow. The outline of the tree was very clear. The way the sun was angled I could even make out the shadows of individual leaves only a few feet from my shoes. A few feet from the tree’s shadow was another small shadow. It seemed odd to me. I remembered a little poem from grade school about a kid that couldn’t get away from his shadow because a shadow is always attached to the thing that is casting it. Well, this shadow wasn’t attached to anything. I stepped out into the light. The shadow I cast was the same shape, but a bit smaller. It was attached to my feet. I didn’t want to move for fear it would disappear and no one would believe me. I took a picture with my phone. “What are you doing?” It was Otis yelling from the front porch. I waved him over nonchalantly. He stood in the sunlight. 369


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“Look at that shadow,” I said. “Yeah okay, so what?” “What’s making it?” I asked. He looked up, then at the tree, then me. Then at the tree again. He took off his ball cap and scratched his head. Then he looked at me again with dawning realization. He took a quick step back. “You mean?” he nodded to the shadow. I gave him an ‘I don’t know shrug.’ We stared at the shadow. Squirrel came back around the house where he walked the air conditioning guy. He saw us standing there staring at nothing. He was there in no time. “What you two looking at?” “That shadow,” I said. He looked at it. “So what’s so big about a shadow?” he said. He was standing beside Otis. “What’s making it?” Otis said. Squirrel went through the same thought process as Otis. He looked and jumped back a step, which left Otis closer to it than Squirrel. Otis took another step back. “That’s a ghost shadow?” Squirrel said. Otis and I made the ‘I don’t know’ gesture. We stood staring for a while. “Let’s do something,” Squirrel said. “Like what?” I said. “I don’t know, ask it something.” “Where is Elvis?” I said. “Quit screwing around,” Otis said. Squirrel took a step into the sunlight. His shadow was closest to it. “If you really are a ghost, do something ghostly.” The shadow moved toward him. It stopped about a foot from his work boots.

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Squirrel ran. He ran halfway to the house looking back to see if he was being chased. The shadow blinked out. Just disappeared as if it were never there. “You gotta get another house,” Otis said.

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99 The air conditioning guy worked all day by himself. I stayed out of his way. The house was beginning to take shape and turn into what I had imagined. I hoped Annie would like it. I headed into town around noon. My first stop was at the Police station to see Lee. Things were progressing slowly, but they were building a case. The prosecuting attorney wanted everything nailed down before the arrest. They were checking time lines and connections between the parties. They were cross referencing other details to eliminate other co-conspirators. The second stop was back at the old house. I wanted to pick up a couple of things I wanted to use since moving into the new house. Given last night’s adventure, it may not be such a good idea though. I left the Chevelle and brought back the truck. I got back to the river house a little after three. The A/C guy was gone and Squirrel and Otis were on the picnic bench planning out the end game for the house. I think they smelled the chicken before I got the truck stopped. They moseyed over. “Seen any more shadows?” “Nope,” Squirrel said. “Haven’t been looking.” “Liar,” Otis said. We took the food to the table and ate. “I had another idea,” Otis said. “About what?” “How things should be,” he said. 372


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“Okay let’s hear it,” Squirrel said. “Everything that is bad for you to eat, you know unhealthy, they should just pack those full of vitamins and minerals. So, when you’re eating bad there is actually a benefit?” “That’s crazy,” Squirrel said. “No, listen. If your doctor thinks your low in say, potassium, you could go have a jelly doughnut.” Squirrel said, “Speaking of doughnuts, I’m hungry.” “There’s that rib place in town, I could call in an order, take about a half hour to get there,” Otis said. “The one by the Barker Street Bus Station? Yeah, those are some tasty ribs.” “I’ll buy if you guys fly,” I said. “You’re on,” Squirrel said. “Don’t want to come with us? It’s going to get dark before long.” “I’m good,” I said. I didn’t want them to get the feeling I was going to need them here all the time. I pulled off some bills from the roll I was keeping in my pocket. “I’ll call it in,” Otis said.

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100 I cleaned up our mess on the picnic table and got my equipment ready. The fridge was humming along with the air conditioning. It felt twenty degrees cooler in the house. It felt safer too, like the outside was a world away. There was something I wanted to do from the instant I saw this place. It was the deciding factor in choosing it. When the idea first formed, Teri asked me if I was wondering if Annie would like this place. I am embarrassed to say, that wasn’t what I was thinking about. I was thinking about this, and I’m not sure why. How many things in life do we do without knowing why? A dendrite reacts in some part of our brain sending an electrical reaction that fires up a memory we didn’t even know we had. Anyway my mind was telling me I needed to do this like my mouth tells me I need water or my lungs tell me I need to breath. Dusk was settling in. The sky had passed the point where everything was bathed in that golden color and was turning pink and orange over the horizon. The last of the vultures were arriving back into their dark kingdom, bellies full of rotting carrion. Life on Hope Road, AKA Vulture Bend. My phone rang as I was spooling out the power cord. “Hey, we’re in a bit of a situation.” It was Otis. I could hear shouting in the background. “What’s wrong?” I said. “That little cop stopped us, things escalated.” More shouting. “What happened?”

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“Don’t have time for details. They have Squirrel cuffed and face down on the hood. I locked myself in the truck to call you. The officer here is very insistent that I get out.” “Man, I’m sorry. He doesn’t like me,” I said. “You’re guilty by association. I’ll come and get you at the police station.” “Hey don’t worry, this isn’t the first time for us. “HEY, I’M ON THE PHONE HERE.” I wanted to let you know it’s after five so we’ll probably be spending the night in the tank. No need to come until the morning.” There was the sound of breaking glass and a lot more shouting. The line went dead. I looked back at the inky sky. I clicked back to the App. And watched Annie for a while. I wanted her back so badly. I had concentrated on catching the people that hurt her. Now I was concentrating on this house, just to keep out the rising fear of losing her. But now the wall that contained that fear was wearing thin. Every time I looked at her I felt like I was unraveling a little more and the pressure behind the wall increasing. If something didn’t happen soon I was going to turn into a sniveling mess unable to help anyone. Time to keep pushing.

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101 The first star of the night appeared, dim and isolated, which is about how I felt. The sky was darkening quickly. That didn’t matter much to me, I had all night and I wasn’t real excited about trying to sleep in the house even though I had packed up all the cutlery and carried it to the garage. I plugged the extension cord into an outlet on the porch and spooled it to the end of the dock. I lugged my amp, the Marshall, the size of an ottoman, down the stairs and to the end of the dock careful not to trip over the power cord and end up in the river. Then all the petals I had. After that I slung the Les Paul over my shoulder and headed for the water. The water was mirror smooth, there was not a sound, a ripple, or a splash. The power button glowed red and the old familiar hum radiated out of the amp like a call to action. When I hit that first E major the sound was so loud and pure that I startled myself. It bounced across the water and over to the trees on the other side. It rolled both up and down stream and blanketed the river. The reverb died and the hum was back like the amp was hungry for more. I launched into “Whole Lotta Love” and that brought back all the memories of the Talent Show and the raw emotion of seeing Annie in the hall. I wasn’t playing smoothly but boy was I playing with feeling. My eyes were closed and my fingers were flying, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, I felt at peace. The guitar was down on my thigh and I marched up and down the dock like Jimmy Page. I’m not sure how I didn’t go over the edge. 376


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When the Levee Breaks was next. Then, Over the Hills and Far Away. I don’t know how long I played or how many times I did the same song, I just knew that I wouldn’t have been any happier if I had been playing in front of thousands of screaming fans. That’s what Zeppelin could do for me. The river continued, slow and deep, content with me and my sacrificial music, but just upstream the world was tearing apart. The trees in the woods were whipping back and forth so violently they were in danger of becoming uprooted. They thrashed silently as if the wind were coming from all directions at once. Dead and dying branches pin-wheeled off trees only to be smashed into others. Leaves swirled upwards, away from the force which had dislodged them and disappeared into the night sky along with all other debris light enough to be lifted. All this with no sound at all. I didn’t see any of this until the power was cut in the middle of Black Dog. Someone, or something had pulled the plug on me and Jimmy. I turned and froze, petrified by the soundless rampage in the woods only yards from me. When the reverb rolled back across the water, the onslaught lessened. After a few seconds of quiet the power light on the amp relighted and the amp started up with its hum. Leaves began to rain down out of the sky, landing on the surface of the river and drifting slowly down stream. They landed on the dock and the amplifier, damp from the moisture in the air. The sky above the woods glowed a pinkish yellow. The source seemed to be coming from the other side of the trees. I could see shafts of the same color slicing through the trunks, changing angles and moving independently on the other side. The glow swung around the bank and was now moving out to the water, reflecting the color in undulating waves across the river and onto the trees. Time to go. I picked up the amp still wearing the guitar and walked awkwardly across the dock and up the stairs. The load was unbalanced and I kept banging the amp into my knee. I had 377


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been in too big of a hurry to unplug anything, so the cords were all trailing along behind me. I managed to get everything inside the front door without falling or sliding on the dew that was forming on everything. Once I unloaded everything I looked out the front window. A human sized tower of swirling mist emerged from the trees. It emitted the same pinkish yellow glow that had colored the sky. Then another and another came from the trees. They were swirling faster than the first night I had seen them and now the color was angry, retaliatory. Soon there were others. They floated on the river and moved to the dock, constantly moving like bees whose nest has been disturbed. One pyre of mist was different than the others. It hovered just above the dock in the place where I had stood. The color was more muted and swirling less. The rest gathered around it and waited. I pulled up a chair close to the window and watched. I felt drained. My adrenaline was dropping and my legs felt like lead. I struggled to keep my eyes open. There was some sort of discussion going on outside. It was silent but the body language was undeniable, that is of course taking into consideration they didn’t technically have bodies. I figured I had to be the cause of all the discussion. I felt myself drifting away, like before when I blacked out and woke up in the boiler room. I touched my nose. It was starting to bleed. I realized I wasn’t feeling this way because of the adrenaline, it was because something was happening to me, like I was being reached into. I felt myself standing and moving toward the door. I knew I was doing something that had no rhyme or reason, yet I couldn’t stop myself. I made it to the porch. “Hey,” I yelled, “You all talking ‘bout me’?” Their shapes changed and bent, so I could tell they had turned my way. That was it. I didn’t know anything until I woke up back in the living room with dried blood on my face and tee shirt. I was 378


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seated perfectly in a chair. This encounter had been even more frightening than the one with the knives. I stood and the room rocked around me. I sat back down until the dizziness passed. The sky was starting to brighten so I had been out for a while. The blood on my shirt had hardened and attached itself to my chest hairs. I needed coffee and a shower, not necessarily in that order. I stood again with a hand on the arm of the chair. Better this time, but still weak. Out on the dock everything looked normal. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t normal at all. Taking one step at a time I made it to the stairs and used the banister to pull myself up. My body felt a little less tight by the time I made it to the top, but there was a pinprick of a headache starting in the center of my brain. I peeled my clothes off and left them on the bathroom floor. I let the shower run before I got in and started feeling a little shaky again. I sure wasn’t going to be running any marathons today. Once I was in I lathered up and let the water wash away my weariness. I stayed there until I ran out of hot water. Clean and refreshed, last night seemed a long time ago. It felt unreal as well. I could almost make myself feel like it never happened. Then I opened the shower door. On the mirror were four words written, presumably, with my blood. Drips had rolled downward from each letter like the cover of some cheap horror novel. They simply read: HE STARTED WITH ME.

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102 I had cold pizza for breakfast and thought about things. Whatever I had reached into the night before last was obviously trying to connect with me again. The fear and pain were keener than anything I had experienced in real life. Plus there was an anger there. I don’t know much more about ghosts than what I learned watching TV. But, I figured what Chilly Billy would tell me on Chiller Theater was that these spirits had a reason not to pass on. Anger may play a part in that. What I couldn’t figure was, why were there so many in one spot? Despite the stiffness and the loss of blood, I felt pretty good. The hours of sleep I experienced were deep and revitalizing and the orange juice was putting a bounce in my step. All I needed was Annie. I had checked on her after wiping the message off the mirror. She looked the same, still wearing monitors, although not as many as she had at first. I was tired of watching her on a screen. I called Lee. “Up awful early, aren’t you?” he said. “Yeah, I got these neighbors that are keeping me up.” “Out there?” he asked. “You’re not staying in town are you?” “No, listen. Warren busted a couple of my friends last night just because of me. He provoked them and they took the bait. Anything you can do?” “Let me see. I’m at the office now,” There was a rustling of papers and Lee came back on the phone. “Yep, must have been quite a ruckus. I have two arrests for reckless driving and three for resisting arrest.” 380


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“Three?” I asked. “I have an Otis Westfall, a Terrance Opas, and a Geno Spatifore. All three spent the night.” “Can you spring them?” “Quit using cop language. No, not with resisting arrest.” “So I’m going to have to bail them out?” “Looks like it. If they go to trial you can bring in the extenuating circumstances concerning Warren. May not even go to trial. May not get that far.” “What about the investigation?” I asked. “Working on it,” he said. “Working on it? What else do you need?” “Honestly we don’t have much in hard evidence. We have motive and opportunity. What we don’t have is proof they were at your house. We don’t even know what the plan was to get the money. And maybe most importantly we don’t have the other guy. Your little trick found one accomplice but may have scared off the other guy. We just don’t know yet. “ “Why is he important?” “Because if he is loose and we book the other two, he could destroy any evidence they still have. If he’s already destroyed everything and he’s in the wind, we can’t build a case.” “So what can I do?” “Get Annie to wake up, maybe she can fill in some gaps.” “Can I try? You guys all know I wasn’t involved, I want to start visiting her.” Lee hesitated, then said, “We had some discussion about that, the Chief and I.” “Well?” I said. “Two problems. One, and I know this is weak, we don’t want the newspaper all fired up again. They’ve backed off you, probably because you’re looking less and less like a suspect. Better to keep them in the dark as much as possible. You scared the secretary, but that’s all unofficial, she is still coming to work.” “You’re right, that is a weak reason to keep me away from my wife.” 381


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“The second reason is, if people know we are letting you see her, something has changed in the case. The perps are going to find out, they always do. Once that happens, we start playing defense instead of offense, and that is never good for a case.” “That sounds weak also,” I said. He didn’t say anything. I took that as he agreed with me that it was weak and he probably had stated that to his dad and got shot down. “But. What if I could see her and find out what she knows, that would be great for everyone.” “How are you going to do that? She had some kind of fit the last time you were there.” That was an opening I could drive a truck through. “It would be worth it, right? If I could get some details from her?” He didn’t say anything. “Supervised visits. You and I could go in early in the morning. No one would know except the nurses on duty. We could emphasize the HIPPA policy.” He still didn’t say anything. “I’m coming to town to bail out my friends, we’ll discuss it more then.” I hung up. I had him in my hip pocket.

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103 This was my maiden bail out attempt. I had never been to a prison or a jail. The closest brush I had had with something like this was when I went to the morgue to identify my mother. I was hoping this would be easier than that. I was relieved when Lee met me at the Police Station door. “Holding cells are in an adjacent building,” he said. “I’ll walk you through the process.” He did. My checkbook was quite a bit lighter when we were finished. I started to believe the old saying that crime doesn’t pay. I waited with Lee while they were released. This part of the Police station wasn’t as nice as the public part. The block walls had scuff marks along the bottom rows where people had been dragged into cells. They probably mopped the floors nightly but the lower walls didn’t get the same treatment. Bull, my old friend from the night I left the hospital, walked with them down the hall. The third person I had bailed out was Nemi. I should have known, if there was some kind of scrap, he was going to be in the middle of it. They were laughing and joking around like they had just gotten off work and it was payday. I even saw a half smile cross Bull’s face when Otis delivered the punch line to some joke. “NO, I’M THE DOCTOR!” Bull’s spirit dampened when he saw me. All of a sudden the guys weren’t that funny anymore.

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“Should have known,” he said and handed some paperwork to Lee. He turned and walked back down the corridor leaving the five of us in the hallway. “Thanks, man,” Squirrel said. “Yeah,” Otis said. “We’ll, pay you back, don’t thworry,” Nemi said. “What happened?” I said. Lee was listening, knowing more was going on here than just giving a ride to the bus station, but he didn’t say anything. “So, I’m sitting on the hood of my truck, waiting for the ribs, and here comes that little cop in his squad car. He drives by once then turns and comes back. He even blurps his siren.” “How did Nemi get involved?” I asked. “I’m getting there,” Otis said. “Well, he pulls his car sideways across the road blocking me in, like I’m going to take off or something. We don’t move.” “It was like he was trying to intimidate us,” Squirrel said. “He had his blue lights flashing.” “So I say, ‘Evening, Officer’ when he gets out of the car. “He asks us what I’m doing on the hood of my car and I say I’m sitting. He didn’t like that answer.” “No, he didn’t,” Squirrel said. “Get down off there,” he says. And I said no. Then he said if I didn’t get down he was going to come up and get me. And I said he was going to need a stepladder. He didn’t like that either. “Not at all,” Squirrel said. “About then Nemi comes up the sidewalk, drawn by the blue lights.” “Minding my own buthness,” Nemi said. Squirrel says, “Then Nemi delivers one of his best lines. He says, ‘Hey, Officther. Your car don’t smell too wonderthful.” I look at Lee and say, “Warren had a little electrical problem at my house a few days ago.” Lee says, “Yeah, right. I heard.” “Now the cop is grasshopper crazy mad. I’m still sitting on the hood, Squirrel is standing by my truck with a boot up on the

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bumper and the cop runs around to the sidewalk and tries to cuff Nemi. Well, Nemi just starts laughing.” “He’s just a little fella,” Nemi said. “He can’t cuff him so he gets his baton out and gets ready to take a swing...” “And Nemi grabs his arm and flips him over into the street,” Squirrel said. “Self-defense,” Nemi said. “Then the cop runs back to his car and starts screaming into the radio like there has been a massacre,” Otis said. “Squirrel gets a couple of cans of orange soda out of the truck and we just sit there waiting to see what happens next.” “You can guess what happened next,” Squirrel said. “Otis got down off the hood and got inside the truck to call you. Nemi and I tried to cause enough commotion to give Otis some time. All in all a pretty interesting evening.” “I’m sorry you got sucked into all this,” I said. “Not your fault they got some sort of little Napoleon on the police force. No disrespect sheriff,” Otis said. Lee nodded, “I’m not the sheriff,” “Besth night of sleeth I’ve had for a thwhile,” Nemi said. We all laughed at that.

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104 I asked the guys if they wanted a ride back to their trucks, but they declined. They thought a walk would be good for them. Nemi’s truck was parked elsewhere so he left solo. They asked me if anything had happened last night. I told them I would tell them later and asked if they wanted to do any cat fishing tonight. Squirrel was in, Otis was hesitant but came around quickly. I told them I would call them later. “One other thing, did your cousin ever know anyone who actually visited the land beside me. You know, like kids who dared each other, or maybe someone who got lost?” “He didn’t say, but I doubt it. Nobody wanted any part of the place,” Otis said. “See if you can find out, something tells me that might be important,” I said. “Important for what?” “Don’t know that yet either.”

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105 Lee waited for me in his dad’s office. He was flipping a pencil then catching it. “Well what do you think?” “Not a good idea,” he said. “But it might work?” “It might but...” “But what? You’re holding something back.” Lee let out a breath slowly, “Teri has a friend at the hospital. She thinks the doctors are getting ready to move Annie.” “Where? Why?” I said. “She’s not responding to anything. They don’t know what to do. If she isn’t getting better they don’t want her there. It’s not a long term facility.” “Where would they send her?” “That would be up to you. They probably would have sent her already, but this is a high profile situation. They don’t want to look uncaring.” He hesitated and said, “Then again it may not be up to you. Might depend on the D.A. They might be able to force you to give up your legal right to her. Depends on how far they want to push it.” I started feeling anger rise up through me like a wave. Lee could see it. “Look, it’s not the doctors. It’s the hospital, so calm down. We’re going to fight this as long as we can.” “So we’re going? To the hospital?” “It’s not a good idea for me or for you,” he said. “But it might be for Annie?” 387


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“Yeah, it might. I been thinking that the last time you were there, when she had that fit, that might have been a good thing for her, not something detrimental. Maybe we were looking at it the wrong way.” “Like I could have been a stimulus?” “Yeah.” “So when are we going? When is your shift up? “About an hour ago,” he said.

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106 The cold pizza I had eaten earlier was a memory and my stomach was growling for food. I was hungry, probably dehydrated, and had lost a good bit of blood. Even though I was a little lightheaded and sometimes the road signs were blurry as they zipped by, I didn’t want to stop anywhere for food. Like the last time, I stood at the elevator and let Lee do the talking. Annie had been moved from the large suite to a more normal hospital room. Lee was right. It seemed as though Annie was on her way out the door. A nurse walked us down a corridor and stopped at room 110. She opened the door and allowed us to enter and there was Annie, like an angel. This was the first time I had seen her in person since the time things went haywire. She was so real, not a person on a screen. The emotion I had tried so hard to suppress, came rushing back. Gone was the hovering staff and the large observation window. She was hooked to only a couple of monitors now. A small camera sat on a tripod across from the foot board. The room was quiet, no beeping or hissing. It was like they had shoved her in and left her. I knew that wasn’t the case but I still wanted to yell at somebody for not being here with her when I couldn’t. A chair had been pulled near the bed, as if someone had been there. I pushed it away and took her hand. It was warm and soft. “Annie, I’m here,” I said softly. Her face was more beautiful than even I remembered. I had forgotten the perfection of her mouth, her dark eyelashes, and the curve of her ear lobes. 389


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I wanted more than anything for her eyes to flutter or her lips to curl into that radiant smile. But that didn’t happen. She stayed motionless, like when I used to watch her sleep. “I’ll be right out here,” Lee said and nodded toward the hall. “Okay,” I said. “Thanks.” I brushed her hair with my hand. It was smooth and soft and thick. I put my forehead against hers and told her how much I loved her. I told her about the house I had bought and how we were going to love it on the river. I told her about the fight that had landed Otis and Squirrel in jail. She didn’t move. “That’s okay,” I said. “I know you’re laughing on the inside.” I started telling her about the progress of the case, about how we knew who did it and how we were going to catch them. I could have sworn that I felt the tiniest squeeze of my hand, then clunk, it felt like my brain flipped over in my skull. This time it was different. I wasn’t just knowing what she was thinking about, I was seeing what she saw, feeling what she felt. Like the girl being chased by the man in the van. I had evolved. I was barely dressed, shorts and a tee shirt. I didn’t have time to put anything on underneath. The ski mask was horrifying. I tried to run but he pushes me down and gets on top of me. Please don’t let him see that I’m not wearing any underwear. I’m squirming to get away, I see his arm and I bite it, he yells at me, but I’m happy with myself for hurting him. There’s someone else here. The one on top of me calls him Billy, he’s got a ski mask too. He scoots up higher on my chest, I can’t breathe. He leans down close to my face. I can see his eyes and his mouth through the openings in the mask. It’s like looking at a monster that lives on the other side of the mask. He’s telling me his plan. In the morning Billy is going to stay here with Finn and I am going to take him to the bank and withdraw all the money. If I don’t they are going to kill Finn and do terrible things to me. I don’t care about that, but I can’t let 390


them hurt Finn. Finn already messed up their plan by not being here. Good for him. I don’t know how much longer I can take him being on top of me. I can tell he’s starting to like it and that scares me even more. Finn is coming, the car is pulling into the drive way. He lets me up and I can breathe again. But Finn is running into the house, the man in the kitchen isn’t ready for him yet. He comes in and sees the man with me. I start yelling for him to run. The man in the kitchen panics and swings something at Finn. The sound of the strike is sickening. Somehow I buck the man off of me and I run to Finn. He’s not moving, the back of his head is bleeding badly. I have Finn’s blood all over me. The man that was on me starts yelling at the man that hit Finn. He says, “You moron, you killed him. Now we have no leverage.” That makes me so mad, I get up and jump at the man with the bat. My fingers go through the holes in his mask and I claw his face and eyes. He swings his arm backhanded and hits me in the shoulder, that doesn’t hurt me but it knocks me into the living room. My feet are covered with blood and I fall. My head hits something and I black out. They think I’m dead too. I slip in and out, but I can hear them yelling at each other. They are stupid, they don’t know what they are doing. Finn is dead. I can’t believe it. I don’t care if I live or not. They have a plan. They are going to make it look like Finn got high and killed me. They argue about whose drugs to use on Finn. They find the knife Mr. Null gave him in his pocket. I know they are going to stab me with it. I don’t care, Finn is gone. But, I don’t want Cleatus to feel bad, but what can I do. I let myself drift off. ***

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The next thing I see is Mrs. Null’s face. There are four nurses lifting me onto a gurney and Mrs. Null shouting at them to be careful. I am covered in blood. Nosebleed. Again. “I’m fine,” I said weakly. “No, you are not,” Mrs. Null said. “Yeah I am.” The room started spinning. “How’s Annie?” “She’s fine,” someone said. Once I heard that I let myself sink away into silence.

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107 I woke a few seconds later when they lifted me off the gurney and onto the bed. I was still woozy but I was coherent and knew what I wanted, which was out of there. “Thanks, but no thanks,” I said. I started to sit up, but Lee’s strong hand pushed me back down. “Hey,” I said. “You can’t do that.” I sat back up making the room spin again. Another hand from the other side of the bed pushed me back down. “Maybe he can’t but I will,” Mrs. Null said. I resigned myself to the fact I was staying here, at least for a while. I closed my eyes while they hooked me up to an IV. Then another nurse came in and took blood. I peeked every once in a while to see that Lee and Mrs. Null were watching me. Neither looked happy. A third nurse came in and took vitals. After that it was just Lee, Mrs. Null, and myself. Without opening my eyes I said, “Have you been sitting with Annie?” “I have,” she said. “The whole time?” “Pretty much, yes.” “Thank you,” I said. “What happened in there?” Lee asked. “The first time it was her and this time it’s you.” A nurse came to the door. “Mr. Finn?” she said. 393


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“Just Finn,” I said. “You’ve recently had a head injury?” My hair had mostly grown back, enough to cover my white scalp and the longer hair hung down well enough that you couldn’t tell if you weren’t looking. “Had nothing to do with this,” I said. “Be that as it may, the Doctor would like to schedule a MRI.” “I should have my head checked,” Lee said. “Not going to be here long enough I’m afraid,” I said. She looked very puzzled and left. “We got them,” I said to Lee. “Got who?” “The guys who hurt Annie,” I said. “Who?” said Mrs. Null. “I’m afraid this is police business, Mrs. Null,” I said. “Stop it,” Lee said. “I’ll go check on Annie,” she said. “Thank you,” I said. “I mean really, thanks for everything.” She nodded and went out. “I know almost everything.” “How?” I ignored that and told him everything I had seen through Annie’s eyes. He listened without interrupting until I was through. “The second guy’s name was Billy?” “Yeah, the dumb one, the one that screwed up the plan. We find a Bill or Billy, a known associate, and a guy with his eyes scratched up, and we got all three of them.” Lee looked at me hard. Cop hard. “How do you know all this?” “Officially, Annie whispered it to me before everything went sideways.” “Okay, unofficially, how did you really get it?” he asked. “I don’t know,” I said.

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108 I raised enough Cain they had to release me. I had to sign several papers stating I was being released against the Doctors wishes. The IV had done me a world of good but getting through to Annie had put me over the top. She was in there and the path to getting her out ran through me. I was sure of it now. I was also sure nothing would have happened if I hadn’t lost the blood the night before. I promised I wouldn’t take any chances and would call 911 if I felt even remotely dizzy. Lee just shook his head. “You’re a nut, you know. I mean a real fruitcake.” “You’d miss me though, I know it,” I said. Everyone held their breath when I went to say good bye to Annie. “Almost there,” I whispered to her.

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109 Lee dropped me off at the house in Vulture Bend then went back to headquarters to start inquiries into who Billy might be. He glanced at me sideways several times on the way back, probably to make sure I wasn’t floating above the seat or spinning my head around backwards. If he only knew. We went through the drive through at Taco Bell and I got enough food for whoever showed up at the house tonight. That was Squirrel and Otis and anyone else who might pop in, although I figured most of the poppers weren’t going to be eating just materializing. I called Squirrel and Otis and asked if they would come over around dark. Both agreed and didn’t hesitate when I said they had better be prepared to spend the night. I pulled my amp out to the front porch and sat in the swing with my guitar and played. I wished I had my whittling knife back from the police.

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110 I brought out a couple of gallon jugs of water and tried to start sipping. Stopping at the store on the way home I had stocked up on water and a couple cases of Zingers. From the fruit side of the snack aisle I also added orange cupcakes by Little Debbie. I read that juice was good after losing blood, but I didn’t think I would be able to drink enough juice for as much blood as I was probably going to lose tonight. I settled for water. The sun slid down the horizon buttery yellow and the river threw the reflection back into the air giving everything an unnatural golden glow. The air was still, the tall grass and reeds on the other side of the river stood still as sentries. Not a leaf fluttered in the trees. It was peaceful now, even with the vultures drifting home for the night. I was turning into a river person. The night would have been truly perfect if not for the job ahead. Otis and Squirrel rolled in about an hour before dark. They got out of their truck and walked toward the porch, both carrying shotguns. “What are those for?” I asked. “See, I told you it was a dumb idea,” Squirrel said. “I didn’t want to be unarmed,” Otis said. “And I didn’t want to be unarmed if he was armed,” Squirrel said. “Is that Holy Water?” “No,” I said. “Oh,” Squirrel said. “I don’t want you to shoot anything, not me, not each other, not any mist you see floating around.” 397


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“Okay,” they said together. “Want some Taco Bell?” I asked. “Sure. What you got?” Squirrel said. “Don’t matter, all tastes the same once you start chewing,” Otis said. I loved these guys. “What’s the plan?” Otis asked with his mouth full of something orange and cheesy. “Never been to anything like this before.” “Been to a couple of Ouija Board parties though, Squirrel said. “We’re going to have to play it by ear,” I said. “Your job is keeping me going. I’ve been having a little trouble with my nose bleeding and passing out.” “You want me to slap you on the jaw like they do in the movies,” Squirrel asked. “I was thinking more like splashing me with some water,” I said. “But save some for me to drink also.” “So what’s with the guitar?” “You’ll see, I think I have a theory.” I got out my phone and pulled up Annie’s room. She was there just as I had left her. Seeing her this time was not as depressing as it had been. I was different. She was different. Things were changing, I was going to see to it.

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111 We sat on the porch, Squirrel on my left on the swing, and Otis on my right in a chair. I sat on the top step holding my Les Paul and reviewing my options. There really was no plan B. I might get this ball rolling with no way of stopping it. If Annie’s situation would have been different and they weren’t thinking of shipping her out, I may have stopped this rodeo before it started. But that’s a lot of ifs and mentally I was ready to go. I started thinking about Led Zeppelin. I had always liked Jimmy Page, the guy knew his harmonies, but I don’t remember the point when it started. Usually there is a song you like and then start listening to that band. I never had that. I’ve liked them since birth, that’s why I started playing guitar. The guys had been quiet for several minutes. They sat in somber concentration. I hoped they weren’t thinking of bolting. It was getting pretty dark. “Nemi is getting a stereo put in his truck,” Otis said. “That old beater, why is he doing that? “Squirrel said. “I don’t know. He loves that truck,” Otis said. “Not worth it,” Squirrel said. There was another lull, unusual for these two. I reached inside and turned on the porch light. “You get that CD yet?” Squirrel asked. “How could I? I’ve been with you all day. But, I was thinking, I might just get the download,” Otis said. “What CD?” I asked. “New band, I heard this song on the radio and I can’t get the guitar part out of my head. Pretty hard core” Otis said. “Girl singer, don’t usually like girl bands.” 399


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“What’s the name?” “Songs name is Bloody Toenails, Group’s name is Dangerous Jewelry. I looked out into the night. No time better than now. I stood and put the guitar strap over my shoulder. With the amp on the step in front of me and the petals on the step beside me, I let her rip. I started with Alice Cooper’s Eighteen. It wasn’t like being on the water, but I was sure that each riff could be heard in every nook and cranny in Vulture bend. I played through the whole song without anything happening next door. No whipping trees, no celestial lights, no frosty wisps of mist. Next was Ironman by Black Sabbath. I thought it sounded pretty good and I think Squirrel and Otis were impressed, but as far as our neighbors were concerned, it was a thumbs down. So far my theory was solid. The next song would be make or break. I hit the first notes of “Over the Hills and Far Away” by Led Zepplin. By the time I got to the chorus, I knew I was right. The trees looked like they were being shaken by their roots. Like the soil itself was becoming so frenzied it was latching on and ripping onto anything it could. “Damn,” I heard Squirrel say when the song was over. “That ain’t right.” I started Black Dog quickly and the same strange color started to seep through the trees and on to my property. Both Squirrel and Otis were standing now, gripping the porch railing and watching wide-eyed. “Is this what happened last night?” Squirrel yelled over the music. “Sort of,” I yelled back. The guitar seemed stronger and more organic without the vocals and other instruments. The songs were recognizable but had a different feel. The music pumped anger back into whatever lay upstream. By the Time I got to Houses of the Holy, the individual wisps of mist began floating out. I felt like a rock and roll snake charmer. The music was calling the vipers out of the nest. I 400


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kept playing, praying the one that had protected me before, was leading the way. Some hovered near the tree line and others approached the house. Hovered may be the wrong term to describe the way they moved. They approached stealthily, stalking like a great cat. “Oh man, Oh man, Oh man,” was all I could hear Otis saying. More and more poured out slowly, like molasses through the trees. Some merged together and others stayed solitary, but all continued, drawn by the music. They formed a semi-circle around the front porch; about twenty yards back. The mist swirled and pulsated with energy. As they packed in tighter the voltage increased and bands of light moved from one side of the yard to the other in waves. The energy in the trees dissipated as the individuals floated out into the open. “The congregation’s here,” Squirrel said when the last notes faded into the darkness. “This ain’t no Ouija Board party.” I noticed for the first time a fog was starting to form on the river. “Sweet dancing Moses, is this your plan?” Otis said. “What now?” Squirrel asked. “Still working that out,” I said. I placed the guitar against the railing. “Would it be rude to get in the truck and leave?” Otis said. “I don’t think this one is going to let anyone leave,” Squirrel said. One of the mists weaved its way through the others and stopped at the bottom of the porch stairs. It hovered there below me. There was an orange tint blending into the haze. The swirling slowed and became more solid. Slowly, like details emerging from a painting, a young girl materialized below me. She was wearing an orange polka-dotted sixties dress. She bore a striking resemblance to Marsha Brady. Then she started to rise. She was still about six feet from me, rising to my level on the porch. She looked into my eyes

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intensely, knowingly, if I had been in any other situation I would have thought she was seducing me. She floated as if underwater, her arms partially out to her sides and her legs semi bent, toes pointing down. Her long blond hair floated loosely around her head. As she stopped at my level the bottom of her skirt continued to rise by itself. I kept my eyes locked on hers. It kept rising until it was near her mid stomach. We kept our eyes locked. She floated and waited. “What’s happening?” Squirrel said. “I think it’s some kind of a test,” I said still not looking at anything but her eyes. “You can see it?” Otis said. “Yeah. It’s a she.” “What’s she look like?” “Marsha Brady,” I said. “Marsha Brady?” Otis said. “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha,” Squirrel said. “Shut up,” Otis said. I hadn’t looked away. I knew she was the one who had let me have a glimpse of her death, the fear she had felt. I felt intimate with her. Finally, she gracefully smoothed down her skirt and faded back into the vapor where she had been before. Maybe not quite as bright, like becoming visible for me had taken something out of her. I felt honored. Another form broke from the group and floated up the steps toward me. It didn’t materialize into anything, it only came close and waited. Slowly I extended my hand into its mist. It hurt, like a nail gun to the brain. I was locked tight into a small space, and we were moving like in a train or a car. I could hear music playing. Rock music. I can’t believe it, I’m being kidnapped. I’m so scared I can’t breathe. What is he going to do to me, where is he taking me...? I’m choking on water, then I’m back. Squirrel is standing over me with the gallon of water. “Like that? Is that what we’re supposed to do?” 402


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My nose was bleeding again. I was laying back on the porch with my legs splayed across the steps. All the strength had left me. I wasn’t even sure I could sit up. Otis handed me a Zinger and I wolfed it down with a gulp of water out of the jug. The sugar took effect quickly. I stood back up and took another swig of water. Another mist approached. This time it didn’t wait for me to extend my hand. She engulfed me. I was transported into her final moments like with the other two, but this one was a little different. “I’m more angry than scared. I’m fighting, spitting, cursing mad. I get in a couple of good blows. One to the face and a knee to the crotch I heard the air go out of him and a hummph come out of his mouth. And, for the first time I see his face. He is horrifying. He is also big and strong. I’m being carried to the van in a bear hug and tossed into the back like a dried out stalk of corn. There isn’t a part of him that looked human. His eyes are like an animal. She left me on her own accord, having shown me what she went though was enough. Afterward I was still standing, but my nose was trickling. I looked out over the yard, at the souls of the girls who for some reason wanted to share their last moments with me. There was no way I could survive them all. Otis handed me another Zinger. “Hey brother, you aren’t looking so good,” Squirrel said. “Yeah, man you are as white as a ...” Otis trailed off and looked around. “Sorry, Y’all.” I took an unsteady step down the stairs. “Where you going?” Squirrel asked. “Hey don’t leave us here!” Otis said. “I need to find the one in the orange dress,” I said, still wobbly as I took another step. “You mean Marsha Brady?” “Yeah.” But as I said it, she was already moving toward me. I made it to the bottom step as she floated to a stop in front of me. I held out my hand with a finger up, hoping she would 403


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understand. She didn’t form like she had done earlier, but solidified just enough so I could tell it was her. Her opaque hand reached out with one finger and touched mine. It wasn’t the full jolt, but it was enough. “What do you want from me?” I said out loud. “Help.” Her voice was soft. I could hear it like I was talking to myself. “Help you do what?” “Help us kill him.” “Kill who?” “Kill?” Otis shouted from the porch. “The man who killed us.” “The same man killed all of you?” The mist all around me started pulsating. I could understand the cause of the whipping trees now. It felt as if even the ground was full of anger. “How?” I asked. “I can’t kill anyone.” “Bring him here.” “Why me?” “Because you are here. And because you have the gift.” “Is that why I can speak to you?” “I don’t know.” “I’m not killing anybody,” Otis shouted from the porch. I looked back up on the porch at Otis and Squirrel. Squirrel was watching me as if I had lost my mind. But of course they were only hearing my side of the conversation. Otis looked ready to run. I couldn’t blame them. It wasn’t the kind thing contractors usually signed up for. “Ask her about the knives,” Squirrel yelled. “What’s the deal with that?” “Why did you try to scare me away? “They don’t want men here, they don’t trust them. That’s how they died.” “Why do they trust me?” “They don’t.” “But you do.” “Yes.” 404


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“Why?” “Because I have the gift too.” “Is that why we connected?” “I do not know.” “Hey,” Otis yelled from the porch. “If they want this guy so much, why don’t they go haunt him?” I repeated the question to her. “I don’t know.” “Why did the other two want me to see what happened to them?” “They want you to feel their pain.” “Even the ones that don’t trust me?” “Yes. Especially them.” “Do I have to relive death with all of them? I’m not sure I can do that.” “They will want that, but what they want more is revenge. If you find a way to locate the man they will not care about showing their pain to you. They will show it to him.” She still looked like she was floating but not quite as much as before. Her dress stayed down and she still looked like someone from five decades ago. “Why don’t they just talk to me like this?” “We can communicate because of the gift. I cannot talk with your friends and you cannot talk with the women here.” “What do I call you?” “My name is Eve.” Otis brought the chair down from the porch and I sat. They started lining up, allowing me into their last horrifying moments. And they were horrifying, I saw what happened and felt their fear, their despair. I would get through a few and pass out, then one of the guys would douse me with water and sugar me up with sweets. The stories were similar and endings were all the same, but the feelings each time were like a fresh stab to an infected wound. I was crashing emotionally, mentally, and physically. The line of souls reached to the water below the dock. 405


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Otis and Squirrel hung around behind my chair ready to revive me as needed. The women, after they had unloaded into my head, converged around Otis unsettling him to no end. He tried to ignore them, but they took a menacing stance. Then he tried slapping at them like bees. Squirrel was talking to a group of three with mixed results. Even without a form it was obvious he was not speaking their language Then I saw through the eyes of a girl from Buchanan, West Virginia. Her hair was jet black and just had her nails done. Worrying about her dad’s health, she had not seen the man waiting for the right moment to strike. She had been hit in the head and dropped like the proverbial bag of cement, but only stayed that way momentarily. She was being carried upside down like Santa’s bag when she came to. He turned backwards to open the doors of the van and her head was level with the license plate. I could see the number. Got him, I thought. My brain had turned to absolute mush. Whatever motor I had up there was pumping blue smoke and smelling like burnt wiring. My head lolled against the back of the chair, I couldn’t hold it up any longer. “Could one of you guys get me something to write on?” I could hear them scrambling around and arguing. Finally, Squirrel handed me a piece of cardboard from the back of his truck. I made the motion of something to write with since they hadn’t thought of that. “You said something to write on,” Otis said. I felt the world start to take a nose dive, so I dipped my finger into the blood on my upper lip. After several “refills” I managed to write the license number on the cardboard.

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112 I woke with birds singing and a massive headache. Otis was standing over me. “Hey, he’s awake!” I was so stiff I could hardly move. I tried to roll onto my side to stand but something tugged on my arm. Squirrel came out of the house and let the screen door slam. I was laying on a blanket on the front porch. Seemed I was sleeping there more than in the bedroom. The tug on my arm was starting to sting. I was surprised to see an IV duck taped to my forearm. The bag was taped to the banister above and pulled taunt. “I should have been a nurse.” Squirrel said. “How?” I said. “We couldn’t get you to come around last night, so I called my friend at the hospital. Otis stayed here and held your hand, and I do mean held you hand, he was scared the gals would come back. I ran into town and got the IVs. This is your third one.” “Isn’t against the law for her to give out stuff like that?” I asked. “I told her she was compelled to help by some kind of oath.” “And she bought that?” “Naw, I also promised her dinner.” I sat up. My head felt like a big bowl of soup that was sloshing over the sides. For the first time I realized I was shirtless and in a pair of damp boxers. Squirrel saw me looking at myself. 407


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“Your clothes were really bloody, I had to hose you down.” he said. “I don’t have a hose,” I said. “Yeah you do, I found one in the garage.” “Very industrious of you,” I said. I managed to get myself up onto the swing without pulling the needle out of my arm. The rocking movement of the swing helped my head, I’m not sure why. “Where is the cardboard with the number on it?” “I put it in the house.” he said. “Seemed pretty important to you.” “Can you get it for me?” I felt bad ordering them around after all they had already done, but then again I was hooked to an impromptu medical device. “Anybody seen my phone?” “Right here chief,” Otis said as he brought out the cardboard. “Hope it didn’t get too wet. It was in your pocket the first time we hosed you down.” I checked it. It wasn’t wet and I still had some battery left. “I appreciate everything you guys are doing for me. I didn’t mean to get you dragged in this far.” “Are you kidding,” Squirrel said. “You party like a rock star. Life is going to seem pretty dull after this.” Otis echoed his thought. “Hanging out with you, man, there are spirits zooming around and it sounds like now we’re going after a serial killer. These are the biggest moments in our lives.” “I didn’t think you were too keen on the metaphysical part,” I said. “Getting used to it,” he said. “We have to do some planning, but I have to call Lee first, get the ball rolling.” Squirrel said, “Before we get the ball rolling we have to get some food in you. The most protein you’ve had in the last couple of days has been your own blood.” “I don’t have any food here,” I said. “No kidding,” Otis said. “I’ve looked all over, not even a can of beans. Just an empty pizza box.” 408


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I punched in Lee’s number, he didn’t feel the need to say hello. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for hours.” “Sorry, I turned my ringer off by accident,” “Listen. First thing, they’re trying to move Annie. I’ve been dragging my feet as much as I can, but I can’t keep this up.” “How can they do that without my consent, I’m the next of kin.” “Right now they are saying you are a suspect in her injury. Plus there is the fact you have had a head injury and might be harmful to Annie or yourself. The D.A. is starting to listen to them.” He hesitated. “Then there’s the fact that you are running around like a nut.” “Yeah, well, there’s always that. Where are they going to move her?” “Some long term facility in South Carolina,” he said. “That’s crazy. I can’t leave now!” There was a longer hesitation. “Why not?” I ignored that. “If I can get to the Police Station in the next few minutes, can you take me to the hospital?” “Why? Why shouldn’t I forget about you and just work the case?” “Because you’re a sucker for a happy ending?” “I don’t like you. I really don’t like you.” “Oh yeah, one other thing,” I said. “You have got to be kidding.” “I need you to run a plate number.” “Quit talking like a cop,” he said. I read him the number. “It’s a West Virginia plate, but I’m not sure of the year. I didn’t see the sticker, but it was on the back of a van.” “What do you mean you didn’t see the sticker, where have you been that...?” I hung up. I turned to Otis and Squirrel. Can you guys give me a lift into town by way of KFC? I’m buying. 409


113 The chicken in Quiet Dell was like most of the other great tasting food here; greasy. I think they even had a separate category on the ordering plaque. Extra crispy and extra greasy. In any case I indulged in both kinds. My stomach was already primed with last night’s blood and a touch of hose water. I threw such a fit at the hospital that I threw up everything in the administration office. I have to admit it was a performance worthy of a crazy Jack Nicholson. Everyone within earshot would have to agree it was the biggest tantrum by an adult in the history of the hospital. I told them I had a lawyer ready to sue them into the poor house if Annie set foot outside of the building. I would go to every newspaper and watchdog agency in the country and have the world know what they were trying to do to my Annie. They didn’t blink an eye. Lee told me on the way out that I have just given them evidence that I was not competent to make decisions for another person, even if she was my wife. I had a day maybe two, then she was gone. The vomiting hadn’t helped my cause. “Okay,” he said. “I have to know why you need a license plate number.” We were in the car on the way back from the hospital. I hadn’t ask him about the number on the way up because I thought he might not give it to me without attaching some strings to it. “I can’t tell you....yet,” I said. “I promise I will when Annie is awake and everything is normal again.” 410


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“I get the feeling that nothing is ever normal with you,” he said and handed me slip of paper from his shirt pocket. “Charles Snider, River Road, West Side,” I read aloud. “Where is that?” “Never heard of it,” he said. “I did find out a couple of other things though.” He was driving and leaning back in his seat. He hadn’t glanced at me until now. “One; he owns a junk yard that has been in his family for years. Secondly; he is the sole owner of the property next to yours.” “Bam!” I said without realizing I said it out loud. “Bam? What do you mean, Bam?” “I mean things are starting to fit into place.” Lee drove on. He couldn’t ask anything because he knew I wouldn’t answer. But he did keep glancing over. When we were back to the river he said, “Terri wanted me to ask you to dinner tonight. I told her you would say no.” “I’d love to but I can’t tonight,” I said. “You look terrible,” he said. “You’re not taking care of yourself.” I got out and thanked him for all his help. I really meant it and he knew it. “Whatever you’re doing, you’re getting yourself in deeper and deeper,” he said. “A couple of days,” I said. “Just give me a couple of days.” He shook his head and drove away.

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114 I crawled up on the picnic table and sprawled out across the top. The sun glinted across the smooth water. Storms were predicted for later on in the week according to the alerts on my phone, but for now the weather was perfect. I needed a plan, but I was suddenly so sleepy I couldn’t think straight. I closed my eyes and I was out. The next thing I knew Otis was pouring water on my face. “You all right,” he said. Squirrel was right beside him. “Yeah, a little wet,” I said. “We came down the road and saw you laying here like you were dead.” Squirrel said. “Brought some extra water with us,” Otis said. I looked over. The truck was sideways in the road with both doors still standing open. The faint smell of KFC wafted from the cab. My stomach lurched. “Got Some news from my cousin, if you’re still interested,” Otis said. “Didn’t know if you wanted any background information, since, you know, we had a face to face.” “Can’t be a face to face if they got no face,” Squirrel said. “What did he say?” I took off my shirt and tried to dry my hair with the part that was still dry. “There was a guy who was supposedly on the property over there, at least once. Old Scavagin’ Scooter.”

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115 The road wound its way alongside the river. The term, road, was stretching it a bit. It was mostly dirt with stones sticking up through the base. Some were flat, but many were not. The truck’s stiff suspension was beating the daylights out of us. We had been on this road for what seemed like hours. Here the river was much more narrow than in Vulture Bend and more daunting. I couldn’t believe people lived this far out. “Story goes like this; Scavagin Scooter was a scavenger. I guess today he’d be a dumpster diver,” Otis said. “Anyway, that’s how he made his living. Anything that would wash up on a riverbank, be discarded along the highway, anything no one else wanted he would take, he’d take it all home. Some of the stuff he would sell for scrap, other things he would make into something, his artwork he would call it. Except, it wasn’t really art at all, it was just junk. “Maybe in New York he’d be known as an artist,” Squirrel said. “No, in New York he’d be a bum,” Otis said, then went on. “I kind of remember him, he kind of scared me. He was always creeping around somewhere. “Get on with the story,” Squirrel said. “Anyway, he got on this kick of collecting owl pellets. Owl pellets are the things that the owls can’t digest, so every once in a while they cough them up in a hard ball of a thing.” “I know what they are,” I said. “We found some of them in our barn.”

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“He finds out he can sell them to the High School. They dissolve them in Biology classes to see what the local owls are eating. They find the bones of animals in the pellets. We hit something protruding out of the road and popped up off our seats. “So my cousin says Scooter decides he is going to go to Vulture Bend and search because Vultures do the same thing as the owls. They eventually cough up the things they can’t digest. And it works. He finds bunches of these vulture pellets. Now, here’s the part no one believed. One of the pellets he found at Vulture Bend had a ring in it.” Otis let that hang for a moment. Squirrel said, “That makes sense to us because we know what’s been going on there.” “It didn’t make sense back then. Everybody thought Old Scooter stole it from someone. He said he saw it poking through the pellet, but nobody believed him. Like I said he was always slinking around in the shadows.” “So this is his daughter we are going to see?” I asked. “Yeah,” Otis said. “What happened to Old Scooter?” Squirrel said. “Died of something. A lot of these guys back in the hills make their own moonshine. Used to use lead in the soldering. They’d die of lead poisoning and never know it. Not a long life span back in some of these valleys.” We traveled on until we came to the end of the road. There, backed up against the river bank, was a beaten old double wide. The grass around the front was worn down to dust. The area was probably about two acres and that included seven rusting, tireless cars, a mountain of tin, steel, and aluminum, and a neat pile of firewood. There was a satellite dish on the roof. We stopped the truck but left the motor running. We didn’t get out. “Do you think they know we are here?” I asked. “Yeah, they knew a long time ago. These people aren’t very civilized but they aren’t dumb.” The screen door on the trailer opened and a plump little lady stepped out into the dirt. Her hair was gray and piled on 414


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top of her head. She looked like a grandmother, a little dirtier and shabbier, until you looked at her eyes. They were small and mean. She had a dish towel in her hands and pretended to be drying them. We all knew she was hiding a revolver. Squirrel turned off the truck. “You fellows lost? Don’t get many visitors out here, at least friendly ones.” “You Darlene?” Otis said. “Maybe. Why don’t you all get out of the truck so I can see your hands,” she said it friendly enough which made it all the more threatening. “Hi, Darlene. My name’s Finn,” I started toward her with my hand out. I heard a trigger click back somewhere in the trees behind me. I stopped, she smiled. “I’m not alone out here Mr. Finn.” “Just Finn,” I said. She smiled again. “I understand you have a ring your father gave you.” “No,” she said. I glanced at the sapphire ring she was wearing on her middle finger. She saw me glance and smiled again. “What would give you that idea?” “Because you are wearing it,” I said. She didn’t like that at all. “I think you boys should get back in that truck and get the hell out of here.” “How much do you think that ring is worth Darlene?” I asked. “This ring here.” She gave up the pretense of the dish towel and threw it on her shoulder. She held the gun in her left hand. “Well, this is a pretty expensive ring.” “How much?” I said. “I’d say about a thousand dollars.” She looked me straight in the eye and smiled a cold smile. “Not even close,” I said. “I could buy that ring anywhere in West Virginia for two fifty.” 415


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“Then you get out of here and go buy it,” she said. “Nope, it has to be that one. Being that you have been so welcoming to us, I’ll give you five hundred. And you’ll be happy to sell it for that.” “Why would I be happy?” she almost seemed amused. I pulled out five hundred dollar bills and splayed them across my hand . She raised the gun. “How about you hand that money over to me now and we forget about the ring. We’ll just call it a trespassing fee.” “Nope.” I said. “Boys?” she said. I heard the crack of a rifle behind me and a spray of dust at my feet. I stood with the money in my hand. This time I smiled. “You are going to take the money I’m offering and hand me the ring because the ring belongs to someone who is dead. She knows you have it, or, she will when I tell her.” She wanted to laugh, she tried but it sounded wrong. I had her attention. “And you talk to this dead girl. You hear that boys?” “He did, I saw him,” Otis said. “Me too,” Squirrel said. I looked at her flat eyed and expressionless. I reached in. “You’re thinking about shooting me right now, aren’t you?” I said. “That’s not hard to figure out,” she said. “Where you going to put our bodies?” I answered my own question as soon as she thought about it. “Oh,” I said. “Under the scrap metal pile?” Otis and Squirrel looked at each other. “Yeah, I also know about that mason jar full of cash you have been hiding from your boys.” For the first time she looked like she might not be in control. “Worried about me spilling that little tidbit?” “That’s enough from you,” she said. “That pasture of pot has been pretty good to you and the 416


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boys, hasn’t it? And here you are trying to nickel and dime me over this poor girl’s ring. She was looking more shocked each time I hit on something, but she still had the gun and that gave these people a kind of strength. “Oh, I see, you’re worried about Bo finding out you’re skimming. You think he might be crazy enough to kill his own mother. The others are crazy, but not like Bo.” Her hand with the gun was hanging straight down by her side now. “This is nothing compared to what the girl will do if I don’t get the ring back. She was murdered. Murdered and you have her ring.” I held out the money. She took it and pulled the ring off her finger. “Get out. Get out and don’t come back.” We did.

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116 “Hot damn, that was just about the greatest thing I have ever seen!” Squirrel said. I smiled. They were making me laugh. Otis poked me in the side of my head with his finger. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I wanted to be sure that you weren’t dead too. “You know, like Bruce Willis in that movie. He didn’t know he was dead until the end.” “He’s not dead, he’s like Superman or something. How’d you get that way?” Squirrel said. I redirected. “Listen I’ve been thinking, now that we have the first piece of evidence, how do we connect this guy with all the other girls?” We were back on the hard pavement with the windows down and air rushing around the cab. I held the ring tightly in my hand and wondered what horrors it had witnessed. Getting it back to its owner had not been a priority, until now. “It would be nice to know which one it belonged to,” Otis said. “How would we do that?” “Ask them,” he said. “It would be good to get a name,” Squirrel said. “It would be good to get all their names,” I said. “Ask them,” Otis said. ***

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We had things ready by dark. I had downed a box of Zingers and drank as much water as I could hold. Squirrel and Otis were back in their positions on the porch and I was hooked up and plugged in. The air was thick, as if a storm was brewing but didn’t have enough power yet. The river as always, was a slow rolling backdrop. “You should play that song I like, Bloody Toenails. See if that brings them out. Sounds a lot like Led Zeppelin,” Otis said. “I haven’t heard it, and even if I did, don’t know I could play it.” “Just saying,” Otis said. I started again with Kashmir. They came quickly. Even though we had been through this before it was no less unnerving. The sheer number and unnaturalness of it was frightening. I saw Otis wiping down the hairs on his arm. These were beings not meant to be seen, an anomaly created by an atrocity of one human being on another. The first time was an accident, the second an experiment, and now I was using it for my own gains. I was messing with things I had no business delving into. I saw Eve moving toward me in the swirling mass. She only partly materialized. My guess was she knew the toll it was taking on me. I didn’t know if she liked me or just needed me. It really didn’t matter which to me. She held out a fingertip. Her voice was soft in my mind. “You have called us again?” “Can you speak to the others?” I asked. She considered this, then said, “No, but I know their thoughts, sometimes they seep into my own.” I thought about what we had seen the other night. Sometimes the mist melted into one, sometimes they split several ways. “Can you tell me their names?” “Is this important?” “It is. If the man who did this is to pay, I need to know.” She pulsed with light like an ocean creature with luminescence. I could feel the pulse through my finger tip. I was like a mild electric shock. 419


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A wisp materialized in front of us, solidifying out of thin air. The name Debbie Lewis chimed softly in my head. “Debbie Lewis,” I said out loud. Otis and Squirrel sprang into action. Otis had a pen and notepad and Squirrel had the water. I watched him write the name down, then I closed my eyes and heard another name. It seemed to take less effort when I closed my eyes, less focusing which felt like less trauma to my body. Then there was another name. And another. My nose bled, but not at the rate it did before. With every trickle Squirrel would wipe my lip and chin. Maybe I was getting better at this or maybe I was just running out of blood, either way I was getting what I needed. Three hours later we had over a hundred names. The large number started to sway me over to their side. I wanted revenge too.

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117 “Now what?” Squirrel said. They had taken me to breakfast in a greasy little restaurant north of Vulture Bend. I had not been in this area of the state before. It wasn’t much different than all the other little towns that were stubbornly defying abandonment once the coal prices dropped. I felt good after a shave and shower. I donned my last pair of clean jeans and my favorite Alice Cooper Tee shirt and was about to dive into a country fried steak. Even the eggs were covered with gravy. “Okay, how do the police figure out stuff?” Otis asked. “DNA, fingerprints, stuff like that,” Squirrel said. “Yeah, but we don’t have that kind of stuff,” Otis said. “On Forensic Files they check cell phones and computers,” Squirrel said. “Maybe we don’t have to have evidence, maybe we can create it and plant it ourselves,” I said. “I don’t know,” Squirrel said. “That not right, morally or legally.” “I get that, but that’s so you don’t convict an innocent man. This guy’s not going to get convicted. He’s guilty. Remember I saw him. I was there seeing through the victims eyes. I know what he did and how he did it.” “I’m sold,” Otis said. He slapped his hand on the table and leaned back. “Yeah, okay,” Squirrel agreed.

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“So here’s what we have to figure out. One, how to plant something so we can lead the police to him, and secondly, get him here for the girls,” I said. “Why do we need the police for any of this if we’re going to leave him to the girls?” Otis asked. “Closure for the families,” I said. “Do either of your trucks have a cover for the bed?” “Nope, but Nemi’s does,” Otis said. By the time I had finished my desert of cherry pie, we had a plan for the police part.

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118 I was starting to realize Nemi was up for anything. He was just that kind of guy. Otis and Squirrel swore that his word was gold and trusted him more than their own mothers. Plus there was the fact that I had gone out of my way to bail him out. So he was in. We took both his and Squirrel’s trucks, just in case we had to abandon the plan and make a run for it. I allowed an hour extra for the trip to West Side, calculating with Annie time. Otis rode with Nemi and I was shotgun with Squirrel. On the way we stopped at a Walmart and bought a couple of burner phones to use. Our real phones were left at home, just a little precaution that would keep us from being connected to Charles, just in case anyone ever checked. The GPS led us right to the junk yard. We made a slow pass just to get the lay of the land there. A seven foot chain link fence ran across the front yard. The center section of the fence rolled to the side to let vehicles in and out. Inside the fence was a dirty one story house sided with faded yellow aluminum siding. Behind the house the land sloped gently upward revealing row after row of junked cars. Heat rose in waves over the cars giving the whole scene a tranquil, fluid, dust bowl look. The only shaded spot visible was a wooded section to the left of the property. A huge metal assembly loomed there next to a crane. This was the place where cars were crushed into scrap. Everything else there was dusty and old. There was a john boat leaning up against the end of the building. It looked 423


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in better condition than everything except the crusher. Maybe he had taken it in on some sort of trade. We rolled by and pulled off into a parking lot of a bankrupt business about a mile down the road. Squirrel and I got out, locked the truck and left the keys on top of the passenger side tire. No use carrying jingling keys when you could hide them at the car. “You got the list?” I asked. Otis patted his pocket. “Text us when you’re ready,” I said. I got in the passenger side with Nemi driving and Otis and Squirrel climb into the covered bed behind us. We left the other truck behind, drove the mile back to the junk yard, and pulled up to the gate. I got out and walked up, expecting some type of security system to either welcome or warn me. Nothing happened. I looked back at Nemi in the truck. He pointed to another section of the fence. There was red button and above it written in marker on a metal plate were the words; PUSH FOR SERVICE. I pushed it. A buzzer rang on the porch. No intercom, no camera, just a homemade slightly irritating buzzer. I was about twenty yards away from the front door. When he stepped out I knew it was him. He was older, early sixties, but he looked as solid as any hunk of metal on the property. I was scared twenty yards away with a chain link fence between us. I hadn’t planned on being intimidated, but I was, completely. In fact I was scared to death. He wore work jeans and tight tee shirt. His biceps bulged underneath. “WHAT?” he yelled at me. “I got a list of parts,” I yelled back. I didn’t sound as scared as I felt. He didn’t say anything, he just looked at me. Even from that far I could feel his intensity. I had always been good with silence, I never felt the need to have to say anything to fill in the gaps. I did now. “I’m not open,” he said and turned towards the door. 424


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“Come on, man,” I yelled before he got completely in. He turned. “I’m opening a garage in Quiet Dell. I need this stuff quick to build a reputation. I need to get the cash flowing.” I felt my nerve starting to bend. He stopped. He didn’t turn toward me but he didn’t keep going either. “Could be long term business relationship,” I said. That did it. He swung around and started toward the fence. I had a list of about twenty things, all from different makes and models. We had decided on parts that took some time to remove or at least were hard to get to. He would have to be a complete idiot not to realize we were working on more cars than a garage could hold, but I wasn’t sure of how else to give Otis and Squirrel enough time. I stuck the list through the gate. His hands were grimy and the size of frying pans. They were the hands that had stabbed and strangled, torn clothing and stripped bodies. Murderer’s hands. “I got some of this,” he said. “We’ll make it worth your while,” I said. I didn’t want to reach in. There are just some things that can’t be undone. I didn’t want his madness inside of me. In my weakened state I didn’t know what it might do to me, but I did need to see if he was suspecting anything. But, I couldn’t. There was an awful noise, like chainsaws in his head. I had never experienced anything like it. He grunted and walked back to the house. Something buzzed and the gate started to move. Nemi rolled the truck through the fence and onto the property. He kept going until it was next to the building. “How you going to pay for this?” he asked. “Let’s see how many things you have,” I said. “Might make a difference,” “Bring your truck up that row, you can start up there,” he said.

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“No, No,” Nemi said. “I ain’t taking my truck into a junkth yard.” Charlie gave him a stare. “Why not?” “There are snakthes in junk yard. They eat the micth, then they crawl into the trucks. I ain’t gonna have my truck inthested with snakthes.” There ain’t snakes out here,” Charlie said. “Nu hunth,” Nemi said. “No way.” Charlie pointed a hammer sized finger at Nemi. “You get in the bed of that truck,” He pointed to a beaten Chevy so dirty I thought it was one of the junkers. “And you ride up front with me.” We did as instructed. I set the timer on my watch. The inside of the truck was no better than the outside. The windows must have remained permanently rolled down because the layer of dust on the dashboard had to have accumulated over several years. He turned the key and the engine coughed into life. The yard turned out to be much larger than I thought. Once over the first rise the land flattened out and was covered in car bodies. Rows and rows of cars neatly arranged and probably categorized in some order that might only be known to Charlie. They seemed endless. One of the first items on the list was something I could actually use on the old truck we had found in the barn. Ahead I spotted six or seven trucks that same year. At least our first stop was going to allow me to show I did know something about parts. This was great for us. Once the truck dropped over the rise, Otis and Squirrel popped out of the tailgate of Nemi’s truck and slipped inside the house. I found a hood ornament on a ‘42 Ford I could use. He removed it and we were off to the next part. We had been gone eleven minutes. I tried some small talk. Charlie acted like I wasn’t there. I squirmed in my seat. I couldn’t keep from glancing over at him. I could picture him sliding his left hand down between the door and his seat and retrieving a honed hunting knife. He wasn’t talking and Nemi was sitting in the bed of the truck watching through the 426


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back window. I’m not sure who was more uncomfortable. We made three more stops in short order. Twenty seven minutes gone. Charlie looked over at me and said, “I’m about done.” His neck was so thick I couldn’t have guessed he could twist his head around to see me. “What do you mean, done?” I asked. “You’re getting your merchandise and getting off my property.” “What about the list?” He grabbed the list and threw it out the truck window. He stared at me hard, like I was a bug. I tried reaching in again, but now the noise was like continually breaking glass as if a nonstop rain of vases were dropping on cement. His hands clenched the wheel so tightly his skin over his knuckles turned white. He wasn’t used to this much human contact. I couldn’t believe it, I was making HIM uncomfortable. The last item on the list was a driver’s side front door from a ‘57 Chevy. I spotted several in the row ahead of us. “Okay, so you would rather we come back for the rest, but the ‘57’s are right there. Let’s stop and get a door and we’ll finish up for the day.” Without saying anything, he stopped the truck in front of the Chevy’s. He got out and grabbed the door of the first one he came to. He opened it and said, “Do you need the door and the hinges or just the door?” “Just the door is fine,” I said. He grabbed it by the window frame and yanked it backwards against the car body. With one shriek of breaking metal it came off in his hands. From my angle I could see Nemi standing in the back of the truck. Charlie drug the door over with one hand then threw it into the bed as if Nemi hadn’t been there. Nemi hopped to one side to avoid it breaking his legs. It skidded across the bed and slammed into the fender well.

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About that time Nemi’s phone beeped. He answered it and nodded to me. Charlie folded himself into the front seat then slammed the door. Thirty two minutes. In another four minutes we pulled back up beside Nemi’s truck. Charlie had gone catatonic from spending the last thirty minutes with us. He stared straight ahead. When we came to a complete stop Nemi jumped out of the bed and started yelling and kicking the dust around the rear of his truck. That snapped Charlie out of his zombie state and turned him back into his regular S.O.B. Self. “What’s he doing,” Charlie growled. “I have no idea,” I said. I didn’t know what he was doing until I saw the footprints in the dust. They led from the house to the tailgate. “A snakth! I saw it crawl uthnder the truck! Kick sthand on it!” Once he had obliterated the prints he kept kicking dust all around the truck, like a crazy man. “There is no snake,” Charlie said calmly. “How you going to pay for this.” “I’m not going to pay for any of it until I get the rest of the stuff on the list,” I said. Nemi was already opening the door to his truck. Charlie stared at me. Then he took a step my way. I swear I could feel the heat coming off him. Nemi started the truck. “You get the rest of the things on the list and I’ll come back and pay you when it’s ready,” I said. “I HAVEN’T GOT THE LIST!” he exploded. He moved to the front of the truck. “WELL, GO FIND IT!” I screamed back, then jumped in the cab with Nemi. Nemi put the truck in reverse. Charlie strode towards us as Nemi started backing away. He looked huge through the windshield. Nemi looked over his shoulder and kept backing toward the opening in the fence. I kept my eyes locked with Charlie’s as the distance between us grew wider.

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Nemi passed through the gate and turned the truck onto the road. “I’ll be back later this week for the rest,” I yelled. We pulled out and the last thing I saw was Charlie standing in the dust with his arms locked straight down and his fists clenched by his thighs. When we were about a quarter mile down the road Otis whooped in the bed and Squirrel pounded on the back of the cab. Nemi and I nearly jumped through the windshield. We stopped at the lot where we had left the other truck and Squirrel and Otis piled out of the back. We got out to join them. “Did you plant it?” I asked. “Even better,” Otis said. “Squirrel paused dramatically, “As soon as we got inside we found his computer. “Man it was so old,” Otis interrupted. “Let me tell it,” Squirrel said. “It was old, no password or nothing.” “And dirty...” Otis said. Squirrel looked at him. “Okay,” Otis said. “It was greasy and dusty and had a big lumpy thing on the back of the monitor. Anyway we did a search on all the girls’ names! Then we erased it!” Nemi and I stood there baffled. “Thso,” Nemi said. “If anybody searches his computer the names will be on the hard drive,’ Otis said. “And he’ll never know.” “Yeah,” said Otis. “Now he’s connected to all of them, and with the ring as hard evidence...?” They acted like we should be doing cartwheels, it was pretty good, I had to admit, but Nemi wasn’t that impressed. “Computer geeks,” he said and got back in the truck. “Perfect,” I said. “Is anybody hungry? I’m starving.” They all were as usual. We decided to stop at Elkies as soon as we got back into town. We couldn’t stop anyplace closer for fear of being spotted too near Charlie.

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Then I thought. “Give me that phone, I’ll get rid of the both of them at the next bridge we pass over.” We got in the trucks and left, but not before passing back in front of the junk yard. I glanced over as we drove by, but he was gone. Vanishing had always been his greatest attribute.

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119 Elkies was a happening place around five o’clock on a week night. We managed to get a booth in all the mayhem and be seen by a lot of people. I guess it was good to be able to prove we were hours away from Charlie, but maybe bad to be seen all together. Either way I ate the most I had eaten in a long time, probably since the night before Annie got hurt. We were all exuberant over our little caper and feeling pretty good about ourselves. “Things were going good until you thumb athsses left tracks all over the dirth,” Nemi said. “Hey, you can’t cuss anymore, because Mrs. Finn is going to be back soon and she don’t like that kind of language,” Squirrel said. “Yep, she’s coming back soon,” Otis repeated. Nemi looked at me. “Can’t use any language that’s not in the Bible,” I said. “Buth it is in the Bible, Jesus rode intho some town on the back of an ass,” he said. “Well you can’t say dumb. Dumb is not in the Bible,” Squirrel said. “I thinkth it is. I thinkth dumb is in the Bible. Somethbody was deft and dumb in the Bible.” “Not the same,” Otis said. “Soth, under these ruleths I could call you a dumb donkthey, but not a dumb athss?” “Yep,” Otis said. “But that makes no senthess,” 431


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I was enjoying the conversation when I saw Lee step into the restaurant and look around. He spotted me and waved me over. “Did you quit answering your phone?” “No I just don’t have it with me, I forgot it.” I knew that sounded like a huge lie, he knew that I would never want to be out of contact with Annie’s video feed. “Yeah, right,” he said. “What’s up?” I said. “The D.A. caved. They are moving Annie tomorrow.”

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120 The guys were frozen, staring at me when I turned back around to face them. They saw the fear in my face. Lee was still on duty and couldn’t hang around. It was nice of him to let me know the stuff nobody was telling me. I guess the hospital had been trying to contact me also, even though I was not being allowed to make the decisions I had to be apprised of them. I told them what was going on the way back to my house. They were unusually quiet. That should have been a clue something was up. “What are you going to do?” Squirrel asked. “I guess I’m going home to pack. I’ll call the hospital and find out where she is going,” I said. Otis nodded in dejected resignation. We rode back in silence, our jubilation gone. But, by the time they let me out at the river house I had a plan, and apparently I wasn’t the only one.

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121 I got into the Chevelle as soon as they were out of sight and headed right back to West Side. I was going to take a couple of hours to get back so I had time to rehearse my part. It was only around two, so I could be back around six, which was perfect. This time I would have to take my cell phone, but at least it would be me and only me, and the others couldn’t get in any kind of trouble. Before I hit the main street I checked my phone and watched Annie sleeping. That churned up so much emotion that I tossed the phone on the passenger seat and hit first gear, spinning the tires and tossing gravel. The sky looked threatening. The clouds were low and heavy, a purplish angry color. The air smelled electrical, like before a big one. I drove on. *** “Not gonna happen,” Otis said. “No it’s not,” Squirrel said. “You got a plan,” Otis asked. “Yep,” Squirrel said. “Well, let’s hear it,” Otis said. “You in Nemi?” “Oh yeah,” Nemi said. “First we have to call our friend the nurse,” Squirrel said. “You don’t even remember her name, do you?” “Doesn’t matter,” Squirrel said. “Here’s what we’re gonna do...” 434


122 An hour and a half later Nemi wheeled the cart down the hallway. The I.D. Badge had been copied from the nurse’s, with her photo removed and a picture from Nemi’s driver’s license pasted in its place. It wasn’t an exact match for the badge from this hospital, but it was close enough. Everything was done on an ink jet printer. He wore thick glasses and walked with a distinct limp, hoping people would look away as he passed. The scrubs were provided by the nurse along with a detailed floor plan of the hospital. She also explained hospital procedures, something that would be vital if the plan was to work. He entered through the service entrance and found the cart where the nurse said it should be. In fact there were several parked in an area marked Housekeeping. It was big and sturdy with a large garbage can in front and ports for mops and buckets and brooms near the push handle. Nemi quickly choose one with a bio-hazard sticker and made his way out of the service part of the hospital. The hallways were empty in this end of the building, not a lot of visitors and staff. There were cameras and Nemi was cautious to keep his head down and look away, all the while walking with the limp. It was a straight shot to Annie’s room without passing the nurse’s station. He rounded a corner and found two nurses heading right for him. Too late to turn back, he rolled on by and nodded to them. One smiled and nodded back, the other stopped. “Why do you have that here?” she said. “There shouldn’t be any bio-hazard material on this floor.” 435


“Oops, thsorry, must have took the wrong carth,” Nemi said and kept rolling. “I’ll swith it back here in a secondth.” He didn’t wait to see how they responded.

436


123 I pulled into the driveway in front of the gate. This time instead of pushing the buzzer I got out of the car, reached in through the window and laid on the horn. Three long blasts, then I walked to the fence with my cell phone. Dark was settling in early, amplified by the storm brewing over head. The junk yard looked even more disturbing in the dusk. A solitary light shown through slats in the blinds. I watched as one of the blinds bent down and someone looked out. I went back to the car and hit the horn again, but longer this time. I was back to the fence when he came through the door. I was pretty sure he didn’t know who I was, having brought a different vehicle and dusk settling in. But he was off the porch and steaming toward me without even the slightest trepidation. He was a person that had never felt fear and probably never would. He was about halfway across the yard when he recognized me, I could tell by his gait. I hoped if he wanted me he would have to return to the house to open the gate. If not, I was in trouble. “I lied,” I said before he could say anything. He stopped inches away from the chain link. I held up the cell and started recording him. “I don’t have a car shop and I don’t need the parts we picked out.” He stared that subhuman stare. “My name’s Finn and I’ve been camping out on your river property.” 437


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off.

He looked like he wanted to pop my eyes and twist my ears

“I came out here today to see what you were like before I told you what I was doing. That didn’t go very well for you I’m afraid. You kind of starting going berserk. Don’t play well with others, do you?” His breathing was getting heavier, raspier. “I’m a fact finder for Ghost Hunter’s International. Maybe you’ve watched the show?” He actually grunted. “I guess not. Anyway, in case you didn’t know it there have been rumors for years that your property is haunted. So just to let you know, I’m spending one last night there and I’m going to suggest we do a show about Vulture Bend.” Charlie grabbed the fence and shook it. I took a step back. “Of course the producers will want to interview you, let you tell the story of your family and how they have owned it for years.” “I’ll kill you,” he said faintly. I couldn’t look into his eyes. “Then again you might not want to be interviewed. Either way we will do the story and research its history. Just wanted to let you know I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning, in case there is anything you’d like to add.” He didn’t say a word, so I lowered the phone. If he killed me there would be a record of him threatening to do it. I half ran back to the car and got in. When the headlights came up, Charlie was there illuminated gripping the fence so tightly that the steel in the fence was actually bending. I backed onto the road and headed for home. The seed was planted.

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124 Nemi backed the cart into the room and looked at his watch. Three minutes. His first job was to turn the camera towards the wall. Finn was the only person to get the feed, but he was more worried about the repercussions later, once this all blew up. He’d only seen Annie a couple of times. He hadn’t been around the first time Finn had introduced her to the workers. Other times he had been there when she was, but he had either been up high or at a distance so he didn’t get a good look. Now, up close he could understand why everyone talked about her. He rolled the cart up to the bed, pushing a chair out of the way as he did. If the plan was working, Squirrel should be walking toward the nurse’s station with a giant vase of flowers. He checked his watch again. With two minutes to go he threw off Annie’s blankets and arranged her hospital gown as modestly as possible. Then, following the nurses instructions, he removed her I.V. With one minute left he lifted her legs and placed them inside the trash can. Now she only had the finger monitor connecting her with the nurse’s station. He waited for the seconds to tick off. Out at the nurse’s station Squirrel was inquiring about the room number of a non-existing patient. At that moment Nemi’s watch emitted a single beep, Squirrel accidentally knocked over the giant vase, busting glass and soaking the computers and monitors. They hoped the commotion would distract the nurses long enough to get Annie out of the building. Nemi lifted Annie and gently placed her in the trash can. “GENO SPATIFORE! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?” Mrs. Null said from the restroom doorway. 439


125 Otis was already in the back seat of the truck when Nemi pushed the cart up close to the running boards. The rear door swung open and Otis grabbed her under the arms and lifted her into the back seat. He pulled her across and threw a blanket over her legs. Then he jumped out of the back and got in behind the steering wheel. Nemi rolled the cart to an area where it wouldn’t be noticed and walked nonchalantly back to the truck. He got in the passenger side and they were away. “How did it go?” Otis asked. “Better than we expecthed,” Nemi said. “How?” “We have an accomplice,” Nemi said. “Who?” “Your noth gonna believe it,” Nemi said. “Who?” “Mrs. Null. She caught me putting her in the can.” “She wasn’t mad?” “Yeah, at firsth. But then I explained things.” “So how did she help?” Otis asked. “She got in bed and put the monitor on her finger.” “Wow!” “Yeah wow, she scared the snoth outta me,” Nemi said. “Won’t they know it’s not Annie?” “Not until they go in and check,” Nemi said. They rode on down the highway feeling proud of themselves. “Finn is going to be surprised to find her in his house.” “Yeah, real surprised.” 440


126 Squirrel pulled into the drive first. He had left the hospital quickly after knocking over the vase and was a little uneasy to be the first back. This was the way they had planned it, but he would have been happy to find Annie safely tucked under a blanket on the couch with Nemi and Otis guarding her. He parked his truck around the back so that Nemi could pull up close to the steps. That idea was looking better and better because the rain had begun to fall in big, fat drops. The last thing they needed was Annie getting wet and sick because of them. He sat on the porch swing and waited. For all his macho about exploring next door, he wasn’t really digging being here alone in the dark. He continually glanced over, praying that the trees didn’t sway and the sky stayed its natural color. But the wind did pick up. Leaves began to flutter down at a rapid pace, landing on the river and dock. The sky, what could still be seen, was an array of angry grays racing across the hilltops. The rain started. A loud clap of thunder made the house shutter and jolted Squirrel two feet off the swing. The rain increased in pace and now there was the constant tap tapping of the monster drops all around. They were slapping on the roof and the leaves of the trees. The surface of the river started churning like it was simmering. Through the deluge he could see headlights slowly moving up the road.

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*** Charlie stood gripping the chain link for a while. For the first time in years the Lizard brain emerged. It spoke down to him like a condescending step parent. It had always been the one constant barrier that protected him from recklessness. A modified Lizard brain; no fight of flight, only a way to continue killing. This time the message was stronger and simpler. The basic need was self-preservation. This person, whoever he was, had to be stopped before he drew any attention to Vulture Bend and the activities that had taken place there. Who knew what they could find there with all the new developments in forensics. He stood gripping the gate as the rain started. Behind him the engorged drops were pounding the ground, sending tiny puffs of dust into the night air. He was oblivious to all of that. The washing machines whirred into life again. The need to pierce a beating heart pulsed through his being, brought on by the Lizard brain. They were twins, the Lizard and the Need. Like Yin and Yang, opposites that needed each other. A symbiotic relationship of death. This was going to be easy he thought while the rain ran in streaks down his face. He had the darkness and the knife and the place. He also had a spot that could make the evidence disappear like a fat man’s doughnut. Charlie, the real Charlie, was back.

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127 I turned off the paved road and onto the dirt road that ran down to the house. My road was bumpy because the holes had filled with rain water and I couldn’t tell what was solid and what wasn’t. There were no trucks in sight, but the lights were glowing inside. I didn’t think I had left any on, but I had taken off in a pretty big hurry. The rain was coming down so hard I couldn’t get a clear look inside the house. I left the Chevelle parked in front of the house and bolted for the porch nearly slipping on the wet steps. As I reached the door I could see movement through the window. Someone was laying on my couch, but that was as much as I could tell with my wet hair hanging down in my eyes. I burst in. Everyone in the room jumped, except Annie, who was on the couch. “Annie?” I said. Otis said, “What are you doing here?” We thought you went to North Carolina, or South Carolina. Somewhere.” “What?” I said. “How?” I couldn’t believe she was here, with me in this house. “We thstole her,” Nemi said. “You said you were leaving, what are you doing back here?” Otis asked. “You stole her?” I said. “Where have you been...?” Squirrel said. He was sitting in a chair in the corner. “...if you didn’t go to Carolina?” I went to Annie and sat on the side of the couch. I took her 443


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hand and held it, brought it to my lips. She looked so much more natural under a blanket on a couch. Not at all like she looked in a hospital room. I wanted to get under the blanket and hold her. “We thought we had to do something,” Otis said. Then it hit me. “Oh, no!” “What?” the three said at the same time. “The guy, the murderer. I bated him. He’s coming here tonight. To kill me.” “What?” they said again. I explained where I had been and what I had done. I held her hand while I spoke. Nemi said, “And you guyths thought I was the crazy one.” “Man, we brought Annie here and she’s just his kind of victim,” Squirrel said. “How long till he gets here?” Otis asked. “Don’t know,” I said. “What are we gonna do when he gets here?” Nemi asked. “Don’t know,” I said again. “Hell of a plan,” Nemi said. “I didn’t know you all would be here, I didn’t want to get you any more involved than you already are.” “We thstole your wife out of the hospital. We’re involved,” Nemi said. “Any ideas?” Squirrel asked. “I guess we call in the troupes,” I said. My phone buzzed. It was Lee, presumably calling to ask me if I had added kidnapping to my list of lawlessness. I didn’t answer it.

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128 I was certain we had plenty of time. Depending on what time he left, I thought there was no possible way he would be here before midnight. He wouldn’t drive as fast as I did plus he would have to deal with the rain the entire way. And that was without formulating any kind of plan. I was sure he wasn’t the kind of killer to just wing it. So I pulled the amp out to the dry part of the porch and let loose with a montage of Zeppelin. The rain did not deter them. They came quickly, even more quickly than any of the previous times. The guys noticed it also. “Pavlov’s Dog,” I heard Otis say. “Pavlov’s Black Dog,” Squirrel said. The rain seemed to fall right through them. Eve floated onto the porch. She materialized into the orange dressed teenager. For the first time I saw her smile, she looked happy, young. She glowed in the gloom. I held my hand up and she did the same. Our fingertips touched. “He’s coming,” I said out loud. “Who?” “The man who killed you.” “Tonight?” “Yeah, tonight. What should I do?” “I don’t know?” “You don’t know?” I said a little too loud. “She doesn’t know what?” Otis yelled. 445


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“What to do when he gets here,” I said. “Hell of a plan,” Nemi said. I looked around at the mists hovering in the rain. There seemed to be less than before. “Is everyone here? “No.” Where are they? I thought this was supposed to be their big moment.” “We exist just outside of this world and just outside the next. We cannot always choose where we are.” “Why not?” “Can you choose your dreams? Some things are just beyond us.” “Where do you go when you’re not here?” “The windy place. It’s dark there and horrible. The wind comes up with no warning. If you cannot find shelter you can be blown away and never come back.” “Hey, you two putting together a plan or what?” Squirrel said from the front door. I held up a hand to them. “So all the times he brought other girls here, why didn’t you stop him?” “Fear. We are like leaves falling from a tree, blown this way and that with no unity.” A bolt of lightning crackled then boomed in the distance. Then we heard a splash where half a tree had split and fallen into the river. The rain continued at a fevered pitch. Eve ignored the noise. “The people before you were frightened off only because they were men. And they weren’t killers, they didn’t hold our fates in their hands like he did.” “So why now, why me? “The guitar, the music. You and I can communicate.” “Tick tock,” Nemi said. “So you watched them kill the others and did nothing?” She looked down to her shoes. I felt like I had scolded her. Maybe I had. She had spent three times as long here as she had lived, I really had no right. 446


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“We cannot touch him,” she said. “What?” “What what?” Otis said. “They can’t touch him.” “Why not?” Squirrel asked. “‘Why not?” I asked. “We cannot touch the living, I don’t know why.” “You said you wanted us to help YOU,” I said. “Maybe I misspoke,” she said. I looked at the others there on the porch. “Any ideas guys?”

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129 We decided Otis would stay with Annie. The likelihood of her waking unexpectedly was slim, but it was not a chance we were going to take. Coming to in a dark place she had never been might just put her back in a coma. I would have liked to stay with her, but this was my idea. I would not be able to live with myself if something were to happen to one of these guys. Otis had one of the shotguns they had brought earlier. If things went wrong, he was the last line of defense for Annie. The three of us went next door to the place where the building had fallen. The rain was still pelting down and the wind was picking up. We lifted two sides of the structure enough to lean them together and form a facsimile of a tent shape. If the night had been clear and the moon out, no one could have mistaken this for a tent, but for the conditions it worked pretty well. Nemi was going to stay under the structure. We weren’t planning on Charlie getting too close to it, but it would allow us to know which way he was going to travel to get from the gate to the tent. I was hidden in the shrubs near the gate. That way I could alert the others when he arrived. I also had a decent view of the road, just in case he decided to park somewhere and walk in. The trees and bushes had grown in such a way that this was the only way in or out. The others had their phones, I was to text as soon as I saw him. Squirrel was clear back at the edge of the marsh. His job was to keep us from heading that way by mistake and running into it. Once Charlie was spotted, he would slowly filter in from 448


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the back side, always keeping the marsh behind him. He had the other shotgun. The plan was to make him feel surrounded, caught. I was going to tell him that we all knew what he had done, we even had names, and give him a chance to turn himself in. We would tell him we had informed others and that if anything happened to any of us the police would be notified. Eve and all her friends were to be there also, doing whatever ever they could to him. I knew they couldn’t hurt a living being, but I was sure they could make him remember them. They were full of venom. A snake didn’t have to bite to be scary. That was our plan. I knew the victims wanted to kill him, and I could see why, but I couldn’t kill someone, not even him. Anyway those kind of plans always backfire. It wasn’t my fault Eve misrepresented what she could and couldn’t do. Now if something happened like, Charles ran into the marsh and got himself swallowed up that was okay by me. *** The night was hot, even with the rain. I huddled under a tree, not sure what kind, in a waterproof poncho. The sweat trickled down my neck because of the poncho and the humidity. The thunder started again with a new front coming down the river. The booms were louder and closer and lit the trees like a strobe light. The only sound I could hear was the patter of the rain drops on the leaves around me in between the claps of thunder. It was a miserable night. After the first hour I texted Otis to check on Annie. He had been texting Squirrel and Nemi. Everything was quiet. Lee had tried calling several times. I felt bad I was letting him hang, but in the long run it was better for everyone that he was kept in the dark. After the second hour I was starting to worry this was going to be a bust. The storm continued, but that was the only thing going on. I had no back up plan. I was sure Squirrel and Nemi were thinking the same thing, the former squatting like me 449


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in the rain and the later in the lean to waiting for the wind to collapse the whole thing over him. I decided we would give it until daybreak.

450


130 Charlie had deduced it was a trap. The guy wanted Charlie coming after him. But he knew too much. Enough to set the wheels in motion and put Charlie behind bars for the rest of his life. Or worse. Even the Lizard brain knew this guy had to be taken care of. It didn’t realize that its own sudden rebirth had aroused the killing part of Charlie and the symbiotic relationship that had once existed in Charlie was now fully at odds with each other. Charlie didn’t realize there was a battle taking place inside his mind either. He was riding the crest of exhilaration. Maybe this wasn’t the beating heart of a young girl, but it might help to get the ball rolling again. He had been steaming down the river for about an hour. Since about the time Finn decided they were going to stay until daybreak. He traded car parts for a john boat and a motor, not really knowing why. The trolling motor that fit on the front of the boat was purchased without a good reason. Maybe deep down Charlie thought things might perk up again and the van wouldn’t work as well with all the cameras and technology around. Perhaps, he thought, this was all part of his destiny. Several hundred yards upstream from his property he shut off the motor and switched to the quieter trolling motor. The current was becoming unpredictable and faster. It didn’t take much throttle to keep the speed up. He guided the boat up onto the bank, not by any landmarks or understanding, but more like the way a lost animal finds 451


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its way home. Lifting the trolling motor off at the last second, Charlie jumped off the end of the boat and pulled it over the bank and on to the grass. He wore dark green army pants and a black tee shirt. In his Army boots he had stuck his military knife. With grease paint he had darkened his head and arms making him nearly invisible. The wind was blowing through the trees making an off key whistling sound. Charlie squatted down on his haunches and watched and listened. He waited. *** Otis sat with his phone in his hand and waited. The house was dark, until a flash of lightening would brighten the world outside the house. Then for a brief moment the inside would be lighted, and the freeze frame would be seared in his mind. That’s how he checked on Annie, one lightning strike at a time. But the lightening had abated in the last few minutes and his ability to remember the layout of the room was limited. It wasn’t the shape of the room or the furniture, it was the piles of things the guys had brought in with them. Things were scattered all over the floor. And he had to use the restroom. The last thing he wanted to do now was to break and arm or a leg and be a liability to the plan. He weighed his options. Finn hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Charlie. The rain was still coming down and he could hear the wind outside whistling through the trees. He could wait, but not much longer. He texted all three for an update. All three texted back. Nothing new. *** I unfolded a plastic sheet from my backpack and got down on top of it. The sheet didn’t keep me any drier, but a least I wasn’t getting muddy. 452


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I couldn’t help thinking I had missed something. He should have been here by now, I was sure of it. Every time I was close to figuring it out, it slipped away again. Otis texted, wanting some kind of update, but my point of view was just as it had been two hours ago. Lots of rain, no Charlie. *** Squirrel called Nemi and said in a whispering voice, “If there was such a thing as time travel, wouldn’t it be confusing for everyone else?” “How?” Nemi asked. “Nobody would know if they were living in the past or the future,” Squirrel said. “That don’t matter, wherever you arth is the presenth,” Nemi said. An intellectual discussion ensued. *** Charlie waited, watching, sniffing, and listening. He sensed a trap but couldn’t see where it might come from. It didn’t matter, he was going to have to take care of business no matter what. The joints in his legs were tight. He tried to relax the muscles around them mentally. Back in the old days when he was an ambush predator, remaining motionless was a part of the hunt that was enjoyable. Tonight it was work. He clenched his fist popping the knuckles in each hand. Time to go. He stood and was just about to take the first steps to the tent when something caught his eye through the trees. *** Otis was at the point of no return. The shotgun was lying across his lap. He tucked it under his arm and switched his 453


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phone to flashlight and lighted his way to the rest room at the end of the kitchen. It took him only five seconds, but on a dark night that was enough. *** Charlie’s head snapped around and focused on the brief light. He had no real choice. Like a shark tasting blood in the water, he was moving toward it before he realized what he was doing. The killer in him had throttled the Lizard brain and was in control. He moved to the tree line, then through it. What he couldn’t go around he smashed with his boots and knocked out of the way with his hands. The rain knocked down the noise. Only when he was completely clear of the trees did the house come into view. He stood momentarily, studying it and trying to get a feel of how to attack. The fog on the river behind him began to build. He moved up the steps in a crouch slowly and silently, listening for any sounds around him. Part of his brain told him this was what he was supposed to do, the real reason for living. The doorknob turned in his massive hand. He let the door swing open by itself and stepped inside. The house was quiet and dark. He reached to the right where the light switch should be. Fumbling at first, then finding it, he flipped the two switches on. The room brightened and he saw her. She was a gift. He took a step closer and towered over her, studying her. She was beautiful, and best of all her chest was gently moving up and down. After all these years, he had a live one. Then somewhere, he heard a commode flush. *** Otis picked up the shotgun, tucked it under his arm again and held his phone out in front as he opened the restroom door. 454


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The light in the room didn’t register at first, he was surprised that his phone was so bright. Then he stepped around the corner and came to a dead stop. The monster seemed to fill up the whole room. He looked up from Annie and gazed at Otis like he was a gnat to be swatted away. The fact Otis was holding a shotgun didn’t faze him. Otis dropped the phone and brought the gun up, but the guy was too close to Annie. He wasn’t sure how much the shot would spray. He was a good twelve feet away from the guy, but the guy was looming over Annie. Otis couldn’t take the chance, so he charged him. He flew at him like there was a bayonet on the end of the gun. There would be no spray at point blank range. But Charlie was too big and too quick. He took a step toward Otis and with a forearm he knocked the gun to the side as Otis pulled the trigger. The sound was deafening in the room. The shot put a basketball sized hole in the door and tore it off its hinges. Charlie grabbed the barrel, Otis still had the stock. For a split second they stood there, Charlie looking down at Otis and Otis looking up at Charlie, neither wanting to release the gun. Charlie had the leverage. And the strength. He swung the gun by the barrel, with Otis still hanging on to the other end of it. Otis was lifted off his feet and flung through the window. The glass shattered in jagged pieces that sparkled in the light. The curtain tore off the rod and hung half in and half out the window frame. Otis landed on the porch, bleeding and unconscious. *** Nemi was in the lean-to and heard the shot while talking to Squirrel. “Was that at the house?” Before Squirrel could answer they heard the sound of breaking glass. “Get over there!” Squirrel yelled into the phone. 455


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Nemi was closer to the house and had no trouble getting through the tree line. He ran blindly over roots and leaped over bushes. He didn’t stop at the steps to look at Otis’s body on the porch, which hadn’t moved since it landed. The door was on its side in the door frame, splinters scattered on the porch and front room. Nemi’s speed allowed him to hurtle to debris from the door and get two feet down before throwing all his momentum into Charlie. Nemi hit him hard with his shoulder, just like a free safety. It was a bone crunching hit, all that Nemi could muster. Charlie moved about two inches. He had been standing over Annie, watching her breath and savoring the moment when Nemi plowed into him from behind. Nemi was partially stunned, but being the street fighter he was he reacted before Charlie. He jumped on Charlie’s back and grabbed him around the neck and started clawing his face. The grease paint made it difficult to do any real damage, but Nemi’s finger nails were long enough to get the blood flowing over Charlie’s eyes. That was enough to snap Charlie out of his fixation on Annie. Charlie roared and spun around trying to buck Nemi off. They crashed into the wall leaving a body sized dent in the dry wall. A flailing arm struck the overhead light which spun casting oscillating shadows across the room. Charlie knocked over the coffee table then the chair, then packing boxes from the other house. They moved to the kitchen as a two person tornado destroying everything in their path. At one point Nemi was able to readjust himself enough get his mouth around Charlie’s ear and clamp down hard. A piece of the ear came off in his mouth; he spit it toward the front door. Charlie was still swinging back and forth and relentlessly smashing Nemi into any protrusion in the room. Nemi tried to drop his head just a little. He wanted to bite into his neck and try to get the jugular. Charlie sensed what was 456


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happening and instantly lunged backward and crushed Nemi against the wall. This time he kept him there literally forcing the air out of his lungs. *** Squirrel lit out at the same time as Nemi. He left everything he had except the gun. He was another hundred yards away and his path through the tree line was more difficult. As soon as he was in it he realized his mistake. He had taken a route that looked like a straight line to the house, but once inside the trail was blocked by so many thorn bushes it was nearly impassible. Finding a way around them took precious time. *** As soon as I stopped thinking about what I thought I had missed, it came to me. I tried to picture next Christmas with Annie and our tradition of cutting down our own tree when I saw it in my mind’s eye. The boat. There was a boat leaning up against the house at the junkyard when we were there. How could I have been so stupid? Then I heard a gunshot. I took off and quickly as I could run, then slipped and went down in the mud. My left side was covered with an inch of the stuff, but I didn’t slow down. I was coming up on the tree line and saw Squirrel struggle out with the gun. “Over here,” I shouted. He fell in behind me and we passed through the same opening we have found before. I saw the mist forming on the river, thick and soupy. I could hear the crashing and breaking glass before we even entered the trees. It sounded like an earthquake. I didn’t wait for Squirrel and the weapon, I rushed up the steps and looked for Annie. The room was a total disaster. I

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couldn’t see one thing that wasn’t smashed or broken. Nemi was on Charlie’s back, busting up the entire house. Annie was still on the couch, covered with debris, but untouched. Squirrel stepped into the room behind me and leveled the gun at Charlie and Nemi. I didn’t have to tell him not to shoot, he knew he couldn’t hit one without hitting the other. But he tracked them with the sites, finger on the trigger. I saw Nemi spit something out of his mouth, it looked like a hunk of flesh, then Charlie plowed him back into the wall and held him there. That was my chance. I grabbed for the first thing I could find, which happened to be my black Les Paul that had been knocked into the corner. I picked it up by the neck and lunged at them. The edge of the bottom came around in a wicked arc and caught Charlie above the temple. It ripped an opening across the top of his brow and bent his neck sideways. The guitar neck snapped, leaving only the strings holding both parts together. Nemi went limp and Charlie felt it. He stepped away from the wall and let Nemi drop to the floor in a crumpled mass. Our eyes met and he did nothing except twist his neck around. I heard the vertebra snap back into place. He grabbed me by the throat and lifted me off my feet, then used me as a shield against the gun. I tried to swing at him but I had no leverage. The grip in my neck was too strong. I started seeing stars. We moved toward the couch and he released me. I threw a round house right that landed on the cheek and did nothing. Before I knew what was happening he had backhanded me hard enough to knock me through the air and land at Squirrels feet. It opened a gash across my good eyebrow. Charlie reached down and plucked Annie up by her hair until she was in a sitting position. Squirrel still had the gun on him but didn’t have a safe shot.

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Charlie reached around with his left hand got it under Annie’s arms and lifted her off the couch. She hung lifelessly in front him, his forearm across her chest and hooked under her armpits. Her poor head lolled back and forth as he moved. The scratches across his forehead and the cut from the guitar were streaming blood, but if it was bothering him, he didn’t show it. I was bleeding pretty good also, I could feel it running down the side of my face and dripping off my chin. The floor was becoming greasy with it. Charlie squatted down and pulled a huge knife out of his boot. Somehow I got to my feet and staggered toward him. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, I was operating on instinct. But I tripped over something and sprawled into the debris at his feet. As I pushed myself up he launched an Army boot my way that caught me on the shoulder and flipped me over on my back. Charlie adjusted Annie higher in his arms and brought the knife to her neck. He slipped it into the neck of her top and slowly sliced it open down to her navel. Her head slid to the side and he looked down at her breastbone. I had nothing left, so I tried to reach in. One tremendous shot, as much as I could muster. My nose started to bleed. He stopped and remained motionless. Then he met my eyes and I knew. I couldn’t read him because there was nothing there, nothing human at least. I couldn’t stop him, physically or mentally. He looked over to Squirrel and said, “Gun.” He put the knife in the hand that was holding Annie and held out the other one. Squirrel had no choice, the knife had cut through the fabric so easily. One little flick and Annie’s jugular would be opened. Squirrel was smart. He didn’t hand it over immediately. He stared Charlie in the eye and ejected the shell before handing it over. Once he had the gun he flopped Annie back on the couch. She lay there motionless, in a heap. I tried to crawl to her but I couldn’t crawl, my shoulder was dislocated. 459


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Charlie stuck the knife back into boot, took the gun, put it under his knee and pulled up with both hands. The barrel bent to a forty five degree angle. He threw it into the back of the room and refocused on Annie. Squirrel attacked out of desperation. He came in with both fists flying. He landed with a left, then a right, then a shot to the stomach. Nothing happened. Charlie grabbed both of Squirrel’s shoulders and head butted him between the eyes. It was an instant knockout. Charlie discarded him by tossing the body to the side of the room. I pulled myself up into a sitting position against the wall near a busted box of dishes. Charlie was kicking the wreckage away from the couch and giving himself a space to work. As soon as it was clear he turned to Annie. He rolled her over on her back and spread her out from one arm to the other. And pulled out the knife. He was on one knee bending over her when I threw the first plate. I had to use my left hand because my right shoulder wouldn’t rotate. The plate smacked into his back. I had thrown it so weakly it didn’t do anything but irritate him. The simple motion of throwing had sent the room spinning for me. I threw another. Then another. Blood was running into my eye. If he was going to kill Annie, then the rest of us, I wasn’t going to let him enjoy it. I threw another. “You know your Dad killed your Mama and sank her in the marsh, don’t you?” I heard the voice in my head. Charlie stood up and looked around the room. “You knew but couldn’t admit it to yourself.” Now his head was jerking back and forth not understanding where the voice was coming from. “It’s coming from your head Charlie, someone’s in there with you,” I said. Charlie caught sight of the mist in the doorway. He turned to face it.

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The mist whirled and solidified and Eve began to materialize. She was more real than I had ever seen her. She looked like a regular person. More than a regular person, she was radiant. “Remember me Charlie?” She smiled a beautiful half smile. “I’m the first one you screwed up.” She reached up to her neck and unbuttoned the first button on the orange dress. His eyes were fixed on her, the arm with the knife dangling loosely at his side. She kept unbuttoning. “You were too anxious and I started running. I was naive but you were just dumb.” Charlie’s hand tightened on the handle of the knife. Eve was nearly sparkling. It must have been a tremendous toll to stay materialized for that long. She ran her middle finger up and down her breastbone. “You want to feel the knife go in, don’t you? Right here some place.” She pulled the dress open and brushed her hand over her ribs. Charlie took a step forward. “Not going to happen Charlie, do you know why?” This time Eve took a step forward. “Because of this...” At that moment an arrow sailed through Eve’s body, across the room and into Charlie’s chest. Eve faded back into mist leaving a view of a blood drenched Otis standing on the porch with the crossbow. Charlie took an unsteady step toward the door. Then another. He crossed the threshold and Otis moved out of his way. Once he got to the porch steps he hesitated, then fell head first down into the yard. Otis rushed into the room. I was the only person conscious. “Where is he?” I asked. “He’s dead, out on the lawn,” he said. He dropped the crossbow. “Good,” I said. Otis looked around for everyone else. He caught sight of Squirrel’s legs sticking out from some cardboard. 461


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He stepped over to him reached down, pulled him up by the collar and slapped him across the face. Squirrels eyes opened, “Damn!” he said. “Why’d you hit me?” “Had to make sure you were alive.” “Where’s the guy?” Squirrel asked. “Dead.” “Good,” he said. Otis came to me and Squirrel went to Nemi. “Man, you don’t look too good,” he said. “Have you seen yourself?” I said. Squirrel got one of the gallon jugs of water and dumped it over Nemi. He came right to. “Where’s the guy?” Squirrel asked Otis. “Out there on the lawn.” Squirrel made his way to the door. “Where?” “Aw, man,” Otis said.

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131 Charlie knew he was badly hurt. His only thought, now that the lizard brain was back in charge, was to get away. He walked straight legged toward the boat. He was bleeding badly and the arrow was still embedded in his shoulder. The pain he could deal with, what worried him was what the arrow had hit on the inside. He had to get to the boat. Once he was there he would just drift away. He made it to the tree line and they hadn’t come after him yet. There was no way to know how many were still alive and how many might still be out here in the woods. If he could only make it a little farther. “One step at a time,” he told himself. The rain stopped completely. The mist had swallowed the boat. He couldn’t understand it at first. Why wasn’t the boat there? Figures began emerging from the mist. Angry figures were coming for him. With no visible boat to escape with, he retreated away from the river and toward the back of the property. He couldn’t move quickly, taking only a half-step at a time. More and more emerged from the river. The trees began to bend and jerk, whipping back and forth with such force that some were being uprooted. Charlie looked around wide-eyed watching the windless trees being pummeled by something he would never comprehend. The white mist was tinted by the strange orange glow that was everywhere but came from nowhere. For the first time Charlie felt fear.

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With larger numbers they became more aggressive, flying at him from different directions and coming closer. He continued backing up, taking swipes with the knife as they passed. *** The four of us were a bloody mess, but Otis sprang into action as soon as he realized Charlie was gone. “Can’t let him get away,” he told us. “If we do, we’ll be looking over our shoulders the rest of our lives.” “Where the other gun? He bent the one I had all to hell,” Squirrel said. I limped over to Annie. “You guys go. I can’t.” “You hurt?” Squirrel asked. “No more than you, but I’m staying with her,” I said. “I’m never leaving her again.” “True that,” Squirrel said. “Gentlemen?” Otis said. “After you.” He held a hand toward the door. In the other had he carried the crossbow. “And hey,” I said as they were leaving. “Kill him.” Squirrel gave me a short nod, grabbed a couple of arrows from the porch, and they were gone. My shoulder was pulsing with pain, but I managed to crawl in behind Annie on the couch. I was bloody and sticky and my hair had hardened to the side of my face. My left side was still covered with mud. It had been so long since I had held her I had forgotten how strong the bond was. If she wasn’t coming back I was ready to die with her. Right here, right now. *** Otis, Squirrel, and Nemi trotted to the tree line figuring that was how he had come in. Squirrel had to keep grabbing Nemi’s shirt sleeve. He was still a little foggy and veered to the right and off course a couple of times. All three looked at the river fog without comment.

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They came to a stop when they saw the trees on the other side snapping back and forth. “You think they got him?” Squirrel asked. “Looks like it,” Otis said. “We gotta seeth for ourselths, though. Gotta make thure.” “But they can’t do anything, right? Not to a live person.” Nemi started jogging again and the other two followed. “Leave him to me,” Nemi said, “I had thim right where I wanted unthill you guys showthed up.”

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132 They had backed Charlie clear to the marsh. He was standing with his heels to the slope that lead to the water. The anger had turned to menace. They were feeding off his fear, pushing him further to the edge of insanity. The trees had slowed and now seemed like everything else, to be focused on the entertainment at the edge of the marsh. The three men passed through the swirling vapors and moved toward the front. “I hope they know we’re on their side,” Squirrel said. Passing through them left that “top of the Ferris Wheel feeling” in his stomach. He allowed himself a wide berth around them to avoid the feeling. “At the very least they know we’re not on his side,” Otis said. The open space around Charlie was dwindling as more pushed in from the back of the mass. He was out numbered two hundred to one. Then something began to happen. The wisps in the back began to part. Some even began to take shape, if only for an instant. They turned and looked at what was manifesting itself in the river fog. There coming out of the whiteness was a dark shape. It moved of age and command. The others let it pass, keeping a distance. The assault on Charlie ceased. As it closed the gap to the marsh it grew blacker. The whiteness of the others darkened around the edges as it passed. Its power was intimidating to all around it. Charlie felt its force before he actually saw it. All those that had been attacking before floated back and waited. 466


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It stopped a few feet from Charlie and hovered. Moldy scraps of material took form and slowly fluttered around the figure. The face and body were so decayed they were unrecognizable. The skin was rotted jello. But Charlie recognized her. His face was a mass of emotions. First happy, then sad and pained. Before long he was crying. “Are they talking to each other?” Squirrel said. “Yeah, seems that way,” Otis said. “We’re in a world of hurt if he turns her against us,” Squirrel said. Charlie still had the knife in his hand. Then, unexpectedly, he brought it up slid it across his throat. Blood spurted out several yards. “Geeze!” Otis shouted. Charlie dropped the knife and stood motionless as his heart pumped the last of his blood into the dirt. Then he dropped the knife and collapsed. The black thing, whatever it was turned and floated back toward the river. It was given an even wider berth on the way out. Then the entire pack descended on the body. They materialized in varying degrees, each able to turn their hands into wickedly sharp claws. Like a shark feeding frenzy they dismantled Charlie, piece by piece, as he had done to each of them.

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133 I was drowsy but fought off the urge to drift off. Even with the pain, holding Annie made up for everything. The room around us was in shambles, I was sure I was experiencing my second concussion in the last couple of weeks, and I had lost feeling in my arm from the shoulder down. I would do it all over for a few more moments like this. Silently Eve appeared in front of the couch. She smiled grimly. “Your friends are safe,” she said, but only in my head. “Charlie?” I asked. “He is getting a visit from his mother, he will no longer be a concern to anyone.” “How about you? Is this what you wanted?” I asked. “No, I thought there would be more. It is what I wanted, but now that it is done, I don’t think it is what I needed.” She floated back in and bent close to Annie. She brushed her cheek with a translucent hand. “She is the sadness that binds you.” It wasn’t a question, it was more like an answer. “Do you love her?” “More than anything,” I said. “Do you want to take a ride?” she said. Eve clasped Annie’s hand and then put her forehead against mine. ***

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I was walking across an open space of hard packed soil. There was nothing around, no plants, trees, or mountains. I couldn’t even see a sky. It was a land of void. The dirt stretched to the horizon and beyond. I couldn’t see a single blade of grass. I was alone. I could sense that. There was nothing for miles. I remembered reading a line somewhere that went, “This is a place that surely must be near where insanity begins.” That guy must have been here one time or another. I walked. If felt like hours. With no landmarks or destination it was difficult to measure time. Maybe that was the point. Loneliness crept into my every step. I felt like I had just said goodbye to everyone I had ever met and the chance of meeting another soul here was next to impossible. I walked because it was the only thing I could do. There was a growing roar to my right that sounded like a train was coming my way. It wasn’t a train, it was the wind. It was coming and I had no place to take shelter. I could see it now, a gray rolling wave of wind, hundreds of feet high. Debris, which could have been people were tossed and tumbled along in the maelstrom. I stood awestruck and tried to figure what to do. Then, for no reason it turned. The wind veered away from me and took the wretched people with it. I felt only a portion of the wind, but it was enough for me to flatten myself to the ground for fear of being lifted into the main current. That seemed to be its purpose, to rip away the unanchored. In the cleansed aftermath of the wind I spotted a figure, sitting on a rock. The rock was worn smooth by the wind but it still jutted up as large as a house. That rock was the only thing I had seen besides dirt and wind since I arrived. It seemed strange I hadn’t noticed it before. I ran towards the rock. The closer I got, the more I was sure that the figure on top was Annie. She spotted me and retreated to the back side. Then she hid. “Annie!” I yelled. The sound carried a long way in the emptiness. “Finn?” She came out from behind the rock. Unsure. 469


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It was Annie. Her face, her movement, the tone of her voice. She was wearing something white and flowing. “Finn!” She said and came running toward me. We embraced. She held me tightly and I felt her sobbing. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I’ve been searching for you.” She could barely get the words out. “Did you die?” I smiled, probably not the right timing, but I couldn’t help it. I pulled away enough to see her face and brushed her hair back. “No, Annie, I’m not dead.” She pulled me back into her embrace. “I’m so glad,” she said, sobbing again. I was getting a little weepy myself. I could hold her forever. “I stayed here waiting for you because I thought you were dead. I didn’t want to go back without you and I worried about you wandering around here by yourself. I wouldn’t have been able to stand that.” She pulled back away again sharply. “Then, what are you doing here?” “I’ve come to get you,” I said. “Am I ...alive?” “Yep,” I said through the tears. She was stunned. “What’s all this then?” “You’re asleep.” It wasn’t that much of a lie. “You mean this is a dream? How are you talking to me like this in a dream?” she asked. “It’s not a normal dream,” I said. “And the girl?” “What girl?” I asked. “There was a girl here a little while ago.” Annie hesitated. “She talked to me and led me here, but,” Annie looked confused again. “Now I don’t remember what she looked like.” We continued to hold each other. Neither wanted to let go. “So I’m asleep?” she asked? “Sort of.” “What you mean, sort of?” “Okay, you’re in a coma.” 470


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“And you’re in the coma with me?” “That part may take some explaining,” I said. Annie heard it before I did. Maybe she was more attuned to it or maybe it was too much Led Zeppelin on my part. “Oh no,” she said. Then I heard it also. The roar. It was somewhere out on the horizon. “Annie, it’s okay,” I said. “No it’s not! It’s definitely not okay!” “We can just get behind the rock you were....” I turned to see the rock no longer existed. The wall of wind was coming from our left, and it was coming fast. It looked as if it were miles wide. I knew we couldn’t outrun it so I pulled Annie and began to run straight ahead. Maybe we could get outside of the main force of the wind. It howled like something alive. I glanced to see how far away it was and knew we were never going to make it. I slowed. “ANNIE” I yelled over the roar. It was turning to follow us. An apex predator. She pulled hard on my arm as I came to a stop. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” she screamed. Her eyes were wild. “HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN AWAY FROM IT BEFORE?” I yelled into her ear. “YES!” she kept glancing at the oncoming giant. “HOW?” “I RAN, IT ALWAYS TURNED AWAY AT THE LAST MINUTE WHEN I HID BEHIND ONE OF THE ROCKS. THE BIG ROCKS ARE THE ONLY THINGS THAT IT DOESN’T DESTROY!” “NOT THIS TIME,” I was at the top of my voice. “WE CAN’T, IT’S TOO BIG.” I looked around for a big rock, but there were none. The wall was rushing toward us at a tremendous speed. Debris was tossed at its foot, not necessarily from wind but by

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the great pressure behind it. Dark shapes appeared and then disappeared within the grayness. “TAKE MY HAND,” I reached for her. She looked terrified, but she held it out for me. I took it and we embraced. I felt her strength, her resilience “Don’t let go of me!” She said in my ear. “Never,” I said. It was on us. Everything went dead silent and in my mind I heard Eve say, “… to be a rock,” And not to roll, I thought. We melted together. The wind hit us and we were lifted into the air, as one.

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134 My shoulder exploded in pain. My head was somewhere right behind on the pain meter. I forced my eyes opened, my face felt gritty and stiff like I had been in salt water. Annie was beside me on the couch breathing gently and as asleep as ever. My heart sank. In my mind I could see the snow globe I had made. I could see the snow swirling around us and I remembered that feeling of hopefulness that she might have feelings for me. It felt as if our whole lives were ahead of us then. The globe captured that moment perfectly. Then the three creeps had taken that from us. They had smashed the snow globe into a million pieces, like Charlie had done with the girls. They didn’t get another chance, nor did their families or friends. It was looking as though we wouldn’t either. I pulled her a little tighter and decided I had been granted a moment that very few were allowed. I was going to cherish that and not burden myself with what might have been. “I love you, Annie,” I whispered. Annie’s eyelids fluttered. Then she opened them. We didn’t say anything, I couldn’t, my throat was throbbing and the tears were flowing. I put my cheek against hers, she was crying too. We were still holding each other. “You look awful,” she said finally. Her voice was dry and scratchy. “I feel worse than I look,” I said. “Don’t see how that could be possible,” she said. We laughed not because it was funny, but because we could. Together. 473


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“Where are we?” she asked. “Does it matter?” “No.” she said. A car, maybe two, were crunching the rocks on the road to the house. Annie swung her legs off the couch and tried to sit up. “Whoa,” she said. “The room is spinning.” I tried to push myself up but the pain in my arm shot off like a bunch of firecrackers. I was sitting upright by the time I heard the first car door slam. The room was spinning for me also. Annie put her head on my shoulder and pulled her sliced top together. We must have looked like a real mess. Lee came in the door with a gun drawn. He gazed at the destruction. “Lee,” I said. “Where’s your manners? Don’t you knock?” He looked at the door laying on the floor. Annie giggled. Best sound in the world. “What in the world?” he said still looking around. Mrs. Null came from behind and shoved Lee out of the way. “ANNIE!” she shouted. She kicked her way through the debris and landed on the couch on the other side of Annie. She grabbed Annie in a bear hug and held her. I could see the color draining from Annie’s face. “Take it easy,” I said. “She’s still weak.” They started talking and Lee stepped across the rubble to get to me. “We’ve got half the state out looking for her.” “She’s right here,” I said. “And how am I going to explain that?” I whispered into Annie’s ear, “Tell him you got tired of the hospital and left on you own.” “Lee, I got tired of being in the hospital and I left of my own accord.” “What about the two men from Finland?” he asked. “What two men from Finland?”

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“When we found Mrs. Null in Annie’s bed, she said two men from Finland took Annie and gave her some kind of shot and made her lay down.” “I must have been dreaming,” Mrs. Null said. Annie said to me, “Did I mention that we are millionaires?” “I heard that someplace,” I said. We both giggled. This time because we thought it was funny. I’m not sure why. “I’m not going back to the hospital,” Annie said. “Of course you’re not,” Mrs. Null said. “You’re both coming home with me. “But...” Lee started. Mrs. Null gave him a look. “Are there any laws they have broken?” “They have sure bent a lot,” he said. “All right then, no laws broken. Help me get her to my car.” After clearing a wider path through the wreckage, Lee picked Annie up and carried her to the car. She was starting to look really tired but she was hanging in there. I stood and watched from the doorway. Lee took a blanket and wrapped Annie up before buckling her seat belt. Lee came bounding back up the stairs and stopped dead on the porch. I was making my way from the couch to the door. “Who’s that?” he said. I turned too fast and I felt like I was on roller skates. Lee caught me by the arm “Who’s who?” I asked. “There was a girl back there. A young girl in an orange dress.” He left me standing there and went back towards the bathroom. “She was right here.” “You’re seeing things, help me to the car before you have to carry me like you did Annie,” I redirected. He walked me out, glancing back into the house. Lee was about ready to put me in the back of Mrs. Null’s Jeep when Nemi, Squirrel, and Otis emerged from the darkness and came walking across the yard. “I should have known,” Lee said. 475


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They were ninety percent covered in mud and blood, and looked as happy as three Catholics coming off Lent. “What’s up Boss man?” Squirrel said to Lee. “What’s wrong with you?” Nemi asked. “I think I’ve dislocated my shoulder,” I said. Nemi reached out as if to shake the hand on my bad arm. Like a fool I took it. He quickly pulled my arm towards him while slamming his shoulder into mine. There was intense pain for a second, then my shoulder popped back into place. “OH, MAN!” I yelled. Nemi walked past me. “You’re going to need thsome ice for that,” he said. Each had a portion of his face that was either swelling or turning black and blue. “Lee put them in your car and follow me home, I’ll patch them up too,” Mrs. Null said. Otis said, “You might want to take this one to the hospital,” he nodded in Nemi’s direction. “His mouth is busted up pretty bad. We don’t want him to end up with a speech problem.” There was a beat of silence then everyone burst out laughing. Otis walked to my window, which was down. “He’s going to ask questions,” he said, referring to Lee, “What do I tell him?” “Tell him the truth. Do you still have the ring?” Otis felt in one pocket, then the other. He pulled it out. “Hey Lee, come here for a minute,” I said. I need a favor.” “You have got to be kidding,” he said. But he came. “You’ve got some explaining to do.” “I promise,” said holding up my Boy Scout fingers. “Glad to have you back Annie,” he said leaning in. Annie was nearly asleep again. “By the way we rounded up all three of the gang, they couldn’t wait to start giving each other up. No trial, they will be gone for a long, long time.” “Thank you,” Annie said. “Don’t look at me, it was your Dick Tracy husband that figured it out.”

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Annie turned her head back to me and I lifted an eyebrow. It hurt. “Do you know the amount of paperwork you have generated since you moved here?” “I’m truly sorry,” I said. “And I owe you for putting up with me.” “Oh, no,” he said. “Don’t like the way this is sounding. You’re being nice for a reason.” “We are giving you a gift here, do with it what you want.” I said. Otis handed him the ring. “This have anything to do with that plate number I ran for you?” “Maybe it do and maybe it don’t, you’re the criminal investigator.” I took Annie’s hand across the backseat Lee looked at her, “You sure you want to come back to this guy?” “Pretty darn sure,” she said and squeezed my hand. “And I’m sure that any investigator of your caliber would check the property owner thoroughly. Probably by looking through his computer and home.” I smiled. “I really don’t like you,” he said. Squirrel yelled from the squad car, “Did anybody remember to lock the front door?” Their car shook with laughter.

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135 Three months later.... The screaming guitar blasted through my workshop and rattled the old glass of the cabinet I was working on. My life long hero, Jimmy Page had been replaced by the late great Glenn Buxton. Not really Jimmy’s fault, but the memories associated with Led Zeppelin were too much for now. Stairway to Heaven was the only number I could enjoy without seeing Annie in that hospital bed. I had just refinished a cabinet Otis and Squirrel had found in an old building where they were working and I heard something behind me. “Why aren’t you ready?” she said, slapping me on the arm. “I guess I lost track of time,” I said, rubbing my arm. Spending time in a coma hadn’t allowed her to forget that little habit. “You smell like old wood,” she said. “Now you’re going to have to take a shower.” “Alone?” I said. She slapped me again. “Come on, you know I’ve been working on this for a long time.” She had. She was very excited about whatever this was. For the hundredth time I said, “You know I don’t like surprises.” “You’re going to like this one.” “That’s what everyone says, then there is even more pressure to look happy.” “Just go,” she said. “I’ll get the lights and the music.” 478


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*** We were in the car and moving in forty five minutes. Annie seemed happy even though she kept checking her watch. She was driving since I didn’t know where we were going and I wasn’t real happy about it. For the first time since she was five, the school year started without Annie. The doctors, even though impressed by her recovery, thought it would be prudent for her to take a year off. Everyone agreed, including Mrs. Null. Her job would be waiting for her next year, should she decide to go back. I think Mrs. Null was more than a little relieved. Teachers who have money have a good chance to be sued, which often include the school and the county. One of the things Annie was interested in, besides this surprise nonsense, was to write a children’s book. I said I would help with the artwork once she had a story. “Any more ideas?” I asked “On?” she said. “Your book.” “I was thinking about maybe a cat. Can you draw cats?” “Perhaps,” I said. I like saying perhaps and stroking my chin. She giggled. We rounded a turn on the two lane we were on and Annie hit the brakes. Hard. There was a line of cars stopped on the road as far as you could see. “Oh no,” she said. “What’s going on? There aren’t this many people in this whole town,” I said. “It’s Home Coming,” she said. I could see she was getting upset. “Don’t worry, whatever it is you want me to see will still be there, no matter how late we are,” I said. “No. No it won’t be there.” So we waited in the traffic, moving twenty feet every few minutes, until the countryside turned into neighborhoods. The weather was warm and perfect, like the night Annie and I took 479


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up tickets at the Quiet Dell football game. It seemed such a long time ago. Annie drove like a maniac through a section of back roads until we arrived at the back of a school building. The lot was full. There was someone taking money in front of a yard across the street. It was dark by the time we paid and started walking toward the gym. I could hear music playing inside. “Annie we aren’t reenacting our first dance are we?” I said only half kidding. She had my hand and was pulling me toward the main entrance when we saw a couple of guys hanging around a rolled up delivery door. One had security across the back of his shirt. Annie left me and ran to him. She talked furiously using her hands and pointing to me a couple of times. He nodded and the other guy tossed him a flashlight. Annie waved to me frantically. We wove our way through what seemed to be the basement of the place. I could tell it was a newer facility by the fresh look of the concrete and the fresh paint on the walls. The music was throbbing down here. He led us to a stairwell that was dark. We followed him by watching the flashlight beam he held straight down. We climbed the stairs straight on to stage right. The music was so loud and the lights so bright I was disoriented at first. There were two folding chairs waiting there for us. The band was rocking. I could see seven people on stage, two of which were out front and singing into two microphones. They were good and the song was good. Then I saw it and everything made sense. The two out front were women. And one had bright pink hair. Candyland closed the song with a giant swinging windmill. In the mist of applause she said into the mike, “Hey Su, look who finally got here.” Su swung her giant bass around and waved.

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I sat for a couple of seconds with my mouth wide open, then I looked over to Annie who was wearing that big Annie grin. “Was it worth it?” she asked. Back on stage Candyland was addressing the screaming fans. “Got someone special here tonight, we’d like to bring him out. My first and only guitar teacher. MR. FINN...” she screamed. Annie pushed me and I stumbled onstage. Candyland pulled me to the center and with her guitar still on, put her arm across my shoulder. Su put hers around my waist. “Mr. Finn only teacher who rocks,” Su said to the crowd. They cheered. From what I could see the place was teeming with people, way more than should have been here for a new, unknown band. They did sound good and had big time equipment. The other musicians were standing back quietly, so this was Candyland and Su’s band. What was going on? They each gave me a full on hug and I went back over to sit with Annie. “We wanted Mr. Finn to be here because we wrote this next song for him. Maybe you’ve heard it.” Candyland hit the riff and the place exploded. Once Su started singing, the audience was singing with her. It was that song, Bloody Toenails. Candyland and Su were Dangerous Jewelry. I listened to the words for the first time: I got bloody toenails because you drug myself to me, I got bloody toenails because you made myself see me. The guitar sounded great. We only got to talk to them for a couple of minutes after the show. “We put the song on YouTube,” Su said. “People liked it and a record company called us. Simple.” “We got lucky,” Candyland said. “But we’re not going to mess it up, are we?” “My father thinks we’re are going down a long crooked path,” Su said. 481


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“So, what have you two love birds been up to, besides, you know, being in comas and catching serial killers?” Candyland asked. Before the tour bus pulled out we exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes. Annie and I walked back to the car with a ringing in our ears. It was great. “Hey, you want to make out in the back seat before we leave?” I asked. “We’re married, we don’t have to do that anymore,” she said. “Yeah, but it’s so rock and roll.” A few minutes later I got a text. If you ever have any little Finns swimming around we think that Candy and Su are great names. Just sayin’.

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136 Summer was over. The nights were getting cooler and the leaves, while still green, sounded dry and brittle in the wind. We started seeing large groups of birds flocking and filling the sky on their way south. It was a glorious fall day. I sat on my front porch with my whittling knife and made some long sticks short. My beautiful wife of over a year now, was inside making coffee for us. Annie decided she wanted to stay in the house on the hill. In fact she was determined. Not even the creeps that attacked us were going to take that away from her. The guys were going to fix up the house on the river, bring some of the things up to date, and clean up the mess we had made on that final night. I was hoping to sell it as a fishing camp someday. The story of Charlie Snider had gone national. Lee had done a bang up job on the investigation. He was getting a good deal of attention on the state level and had gone to Charleston to meet with the Governor. In the weeks after Annie regained conciseness the lot on Vulture Bend had been scrutinized by dozens of FBI agents with metal detecting devices. There were several things that had either been overlooked by Charlie or neglected by the vultures. They found belt buckles and anklets, earrings and toe rings that were linked to missing girls. More importantly they found Charlie’s computer files, listing all the names of the missing girls. Even though only a few could be linked to the items at Vulture Bend, all the families were given the evidence and allowed to make up their own minds. 483


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To Charlie’s credit, the police would not be charging anyone in the crimes. Police had found a blood covered knife and enough footprints in the mud around the marsh to officially rule that Charlie had cut his own throat and fallen back into the marsh to die. There were no plans to try to recover a body. During that time I decided to cut down all the trees that separated the two lots, leaving only the Weeping willow at the water’s edge. “I think it’s a good thing you’re doing,” Annie said as she sat down and handed me my cup. She scrunched in beside me on the swing. “What, spending your money?” I said. “It’s OUR money, your idea,” she said. “Have you decided?” “Yeah, I think I want to be there,” I said. “What about me?” “Yeah, you too,” I said. She put her arm through mine, “You’re a good man, Finn” I sat silently for a minute letting that wash over me. “Maybe, but don’t tell anybody,” I whispered. *** We sat on the picnic table at Vulture Bend, Annie’s first time and my last. “The memorial looks great,” Annie said. We were in the process of buying Charlie’s property. I had Squirrel rent a backhoe with a large scoop on the front and move one of the bigger boulders to the property line so it could be seen from the river. I paid a guy to come out and inscribe it with these words: IN THIS PLACE, MANY BEAUTIFUL SOULS PASSED. THIS IS A MEMORIAL TO THEIR LIVES AND THE LOVED ONES THEY LEFT BEHIND. WE WILL KEEP THEM IN OUR HEARTS AND PRAY THIS IS THE LAST RUNG ON THEIR STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN 484


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“Not too corny?” I said. “I like it,” she said. “Really.” I had gotten together with Lee and we had offered all the families the opportunity to come here with the hope of giving them some closure. Most didn’t have to travel very far, not with Charlie’s abduction radius. I, or I should say Annie and I, paid for a river boat, a big stern wheeler to bring them here. I didn’t know if it was good for me to be here, considering I was going to get a first-row seat to all their emotions. But when the stern wheeler came around the first bend way off in the distance, I was glad I was happy with my decision. It took a while to get the boat in position. The passengers lined the decks and looked at the empty field as the crew worked with an improvised gangplank. In the end, they got it anchored securely and the parents and loved ones filtered out onto the bank. Some were dressed formally, some looked like they may have spent their last penny to get here. A few looked like they couldn’t get off the boat. It was all very somber I know there was a priest and a minster with them, but I couldn’t pick them out from where I was on the picnic table. They gathered around the boulder memorial, many holding hands. There were a lot of handkerchiefs dabbing at eyes. There was no sound except for the idling motor of the stern wheeler and the occasional caw of a crow. If any of them were talking it was only a whisper, but most looked as though there wasn’t anything to say. A man and woman left the group and started for the back of the property toward the marsh. Others followed and the packed group stretched out over the entire field. A golden orb of light appeared over the marsh and floated toward the first couple. It grew brighter and larger and settled over them, engulfing them completely. The couple seemed to inhale the light, they stopped and closed their eyes. It still surrounded them in an embrace of light. 485


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Then, more orbs appeared over the swamp and found their way to loved ones, each glistened and sparkled with a dazzling light. “Are you seeing this?” I said to Annie. “You mean the golden balls that are flying around the field. Yeah I’m seeing it.” They stayed that way for a good while, each family group enveloped in the glowing light. Then about an hour after arriving the captain gave a short toot of the ships horn. Reluctantly the families started making their way back to the boat. They slipped out of the orbs a little brighter, almost polished compared to how they came in. Their heads were higher and their backs a little straighter, the handkerchiefs were put away. The orbs stayed where they were, floating where their families had left them. Then they shrank down to basketball sized golden orbs, hovering until the big paddle wheel reversed and pulled the boat back into the center of the river. We were both standing and watching the boat as it passed. A few of the people gave a silent wave. I heard a woman yell, “Thank you,” knowing we were the ones who had arranged the whole thing. “Oh my God,” I heard Annie say. “It’s her.” I turned to see what Annie was seeing. Eve was standing beside her. “It’s her, the girl that led me to the rock.” She was glowing also. It must have been how she looked when she was alive. She was the essence of youth and hopefulness. “You can see her?” Annie couldn’t speak. She was crying. Eve took my hand, then she took Annie’s hand and put it in mine. She smiled and was gone. Over in the field the orbs gently released. Like a hundred glowing balloons they gloriously raised into the sky, ascending as one, then each following its own path. In a matter of minutes they had spread across the horizon.

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We stayed on the picnic table until there were no orbs visible. Then we got in the car and left Vulture Bend. *** We had hot chocolate on the porch and looked at the stars. “Heck of a year,” I said. “I hope the next one is a bit calmer,” Annie said. “Maybe by this time next year you’ll have a book on the best seller list,” I said. “You know, the one about the cat.” “I’ve been thinking about that. I might want to change from a cat to a little ghost named Eve.” “That maybe something we should reflect on,” I said. I took a sip. It tasted perfect. “I wonder why I could see them today?” she said. “I thought about that, too. There seem to be a lot of rules she didn’t understand. But, maybe it was because you are such a part of me that you have a bit of the gift also. It kind of rubbed off.” We sat. She ran her fingers over mine. The stars were out in full force. I finished the hot chocolate. “There is a lot to think about after what we saw today,” she said. “Not for me,” I said. “That stuff is for people much smarter and more serious than I am.” “You’re the smartest person I know.” “You’re blinded by love.” She giggled. I’ll never take that giggle for granted again. “As a matter of fact, I’m going to make an effort to be less serious from now on.” “You are already the least serious person I’ve ever met.” I tossed my mug over railing. “Ain’t seen nothing yet.” She giggled again then kissed me. “Let’s go inside,” she said standing up. “That’s just what I was thinking,” I said. “You must have read my mind.”

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“Oh brother,” she said and slapped my arm. The screen door slammed behind us as I chased her into the house. *** The moon reflected off the water as a portly raccoon ambled up the bank at Vulture Bend. It hesitated, then lifted its nose and sniffed the air. A pair of deer slowly crossed the property, taking their time, stopping to root out acorns blown there from the fallen oak trees. Seeing and sensing nothing unnatural, the raccoon continued on its way. A light wind whispered through the trees and rustled the leaves, heard only by the living creatures of the forest.

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