Horizons Summer/Fall 2025

SUMMER/FALL 2025

TABLE OF CONTENTS Maybe This Will Work........................................................................ 4 The Happy Mask Salesman................................................................. 5 Dr. Barbie........................................................................................... 6 Nativity.............................................................................................. 8 Forgetfulness..................................................................................... 9 Ghosts are Real - Just Look at the Stars.............................................. 10 Grounding: A Letter from a Student in Pain....................................... 14 A Social Disaster................................................................................ 18 Untitled............................................................................................. 20 Sitting with Myself............................................................................ 22 METHAMPHETAMINE: From Medicinal Wonder to Social Menace.....25 Withdrawal/Graduation..................................................................... 28 CT State Guide to the Cannabis Industry............................................. 30 Lil’ Shenanigans................................................................................. 32 Miss Alyssa’s Magazine Museum........................................................ 34 The Werth Center Interview Ft. Dr. Matthew Connell........................ 36 Student Art Show...............................................................................39

DESIGN ADVISOR:

PROF. NATHANIEL

GARCIA

HORIZONS SUMMER/FALL 2025

ABOUT THIS SPECIAL ISSUE

When we realized we would not be running the Publications Workshop class that does the majority of writing for Horizons, we decided to move in a new direction. We would seek contributions from the campus community, open submissions to a broader range of approaches, and allow what we received to determine our direction and focus. Thus, we present you with this special edition focused on perspective.

These widely divergent pieces of writing, photographs, and artwork invite you to see situations, places, and people from a fresh angle, to take another, closer, often surprising look. They widen our view and deepen our understanding. And, as does every issue of Horizons, they again reveal the immense talent and skill to be found here at Housatonic. We hope you will enjoy this special issue.

Professor Steve Mark, Advisor to Horizons Robert Terentieff, Editor-in-Chief

HORIZONS SUMMER/FALL 2025

Maybe This Will Work

By Emery Popick My back A fussy baby Feeding its every need and whimsy Stand but not in one place My feet are numb Not for too long Walk but not too fast My back is hot Not for too long Lay down but not on your left side or back or stomach My body is shaking Not for too long Take ibuprofen for the pain and inflammation My stomach boils Not for too long Medical professionals will tell me conflicting information A cartographer I become Drawing a map from incomplete or inaccurate instruction Trying not to increase the damage in the meantime I wonder About their perception of me: The anxious over reactor.

The lazy fat.

The pain-intolerant woman.

The director calls me on stage and tells me to act The nurse calls my name But I don’t do it correctly Again.

Again.

Again.

I can’t play the part well enough And I fail to get them to see my reality.

I feel good this week I sat wrong; Not for too long.

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Dr. Barbie

By Rita Fardy Staff Writer

I

was never a doll fan. I like stuffed animals. My granddaughter Pina, when she was around eight, was a huge Barbie fan. She had all the Barbies. The one in the wheelchair, the fashion model, many Barbies. She always wanted to play Barbie. This is by far my least favorite game, but, being a dutiful Grammy, we played.

We would each have a Barbie doll, and all their clothes would be between us. Then she would pick a category like business casual, and we’d pick out outfits. Then they had to walk the runway and describe their look. Pina’s brother, Ambrose, was always the judge. The diplomat that he was, he made sure that we both won the same amount of contests.

One afternoon Pina wanted to play Barbie. The thought of fighting to get half-inch shoes on hard, tiny, tiny feet made me crazy.

I told her we could play but not dress up. She said, “OK. Why don’t you be Dr. Barbie, and we will be the patients?”

This I could handle. So, with my tiny, tiny Barbie stethoscope I got to work. My first patient needed her appendix out. I skillfully and gently performed the operation. When it was done, to add a twist, in a very loud screechy voice I said, “Now you owe me $50,000.”

“But I don’t have $50,000,” she replied.

“I’m putting your rotten appendix back if you don’t give me $50,000.”

“OK, OK!” The next patient needed casts on both legs. Doc Barbie carefully set both legs and put a cast on them. When the task was completed 6

again, I screeched, “Now you owe me $50,000 or I’ll break your legs again.”

Pina and Ambrose both laughed so hard that their faces hurt. Doc Barbie performed a few more operations and demanded the same fee every time. Pina, who is an eye roller and who would barely crack a smile when an adult made a joke, said, “Grammy, you should be on stage.

You’re hilarious!!”

That afternoon was special even though it wasn’t earth shattering or utterly profound, It made our bond even stronger. I was the cool Grammy. I broke the barrier. It was a very special afternoon, and I will think about it for a long time.

Sometimes it’s not the words or the lectures that get through. Sometimes it’s being vulnerable and silly, not worrying how it makes you look. It can bring you closer and strengthen the bond between you. So be silly and see what happens.

P.S. I never received my $50,000!

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By Robert Terentieff

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Forgetfullness I’ve never been good with names I meet someone and their name drifts along with the wind.

Carried by their mouth. But somewhere along the line.

Your name became carved into my mind With lines so distinct.

That even in a million years I would still remember. Every time you made me smile. Every trip you took with me. You drifted away but your etched name remains We don’t talk anymore. But your name is forever connected with mine I’ve never been good with names.

But I hope to God I never forget yours..... ......

Emery Popick 9

\ Ghosts are real– just look at the stars.

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\

By Justice Allen

;

A star danced clumsily across the sky, another star playing out of tune. Two stars in love; both were buffoons.

So stupid in love that they fell out of place. Two stars in love on their way to a planet full of life.

Two stars in love who fell out of place in their school—they are not quite on the right route. Two stars so bright that they don’t realize they’re dead. Two stars where one dances clumsily and the other plays out of tune so badly that they’ve entered said planet.

,

The life on this planet—this planet called Earth—was an extremely diverse group. Some were reptiles, some were mammoths, some were even asleep!

To those who were awake, some of life was stuck in their own planets—their minds. So stuck that they’ve failed to witness these two off-route hopeless romantics. They’ve failed to witness ghosts dance. Those stars are ghosts. Once full of life, just like Earth, and yet… here they are, about to destroy life unknowingly. It would be too late once they’ve got their minds clicked back into place. They could no longer scream for help, for love.

They could only continue embracing each other as they dived into the ground of a foreign home. Passing the stage of the afterlife, stepping into real death.

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Why did they have to take the life of Earth with them?

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Why did they have to be so dumb? So loving?

Why did they?

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a Why?

It wasn’t their fault but it was.

Innocent lovers, the same as them, were now gone. They did not get the chance to experience being ghosts. They had to dive right into a pure death due to unnatural causes.

They had to dive right in just as the stars that took away their life. They had to leave their life behind, some who didn’t even get to live it. All for love. All for a clumsy dancer. All for a player out of tune. !aybe they died for familiarity, people stars just like them.

They could’ve died the same way. For love. For animals who dance clumsily. For animals that play out of tune. For animals already dead, just not in a pure death state. It wasn’t the stars’ fault but it was.

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(

Was it?

Were they just doing a favor unknowingly?

They didn’ didn’t know they were going to destroy a planet.

Was it intentional?

Love hurts.

Love kills.

Love means sacrifice.

Love means creation.

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These two stars created. They are creators. Creators of death.

These stars mean love. A star danced clumsily across the sky, another star playing out of tune. Two stars in love; both were buffoons.

So stupid in love they fell off their route. So stupid they killed the life inhabiting Earth. But everything is for love, right?

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Grounding: A Letter from a Student in Pain

You may or may not have seen me lying on the ground – security sure has. You can o en see me resting under stairs, on furniture, or even outside like security found me a few weeks ago. I have chronic back pain due to disc and muscle problems, which started to become debilitating three semesters ago. My back, despite seeing four di erent physical therapists, struggles to keep me upright and o en strains my body in the process. Despite my best e orts and the doctor’s recommendations, my condition continues to worsen. I was told by a medical professional that I will be okay because I am young. I’m not sure I believe him.

ment. I have di culty de ning them for this reason.

Professors see me as knowledgeable, whereas doctors don’t even see me as knowledgeable of the body I live in.

“I have pain everywhere”

In one of my classes, my professor mentioned there are many ways to be smart, and while I agree, I hold the belief there are many ways to be dumb as well. I’ve o en been deemed smart by other people for my ability to do schoolwork and navigate school in general. However, I usually cannot navigate a group project; in fact, I am usually the person making the project more di cult for everyone involved. It’s been this way since I was young.

I’m “smart” in personal work and in group work I’m very “dumb.” e markers for my--and I’m sure your-- smartness and dumbness are o en given based on environment and can be taken at any mo14

In a way, the medical professionals are correct. I’ve become more adept at homework than introspection, and this may be one of my dumbest mistakes. A degree is worth nothing when I have no body to carry the diploma. While I seek academic validation, I feel myself deteriorating, and I fear the consequences. I have pain everywhere. My legs, abdomen, back, neck, head, arms. It stings, aches, bites, grinds, stabs, throbs. e more I talk to doctors the dumber I feel, the less I nd myself able to go back, the more I want to hide in my shell and deteriorate in solitude. I try to use my smartness by using something familiar, reading. e internet tells me I’m at risk of paralysis if it progresses. I forget about my chronic anxiety. e whole le side of my body progressively gets number and number.

I go to school. I tell myself I shouldn’t stand because it would be disrespectful. My body makes me anyways. Rate your pain on a scale of 1-10. What does that even mean? I feel embarrassed. My brain

compels me to sit back down. I’ve been bothering therapist told me I was going to be in pain and had my PCP so much lately. I get an 88. I’ve been having to push through it. What he didn’t know (or care to a month-long migraine. I tell myself I do too well in know) is that I can push my body exceedingly far. school to get accommodations. Migraine medication At another physical therapy intake appointment, I helps; I can think again! I get a perfect score on my said “No amount of pain will stop me from going re!ection. Going up stairs becomes more difficult. to school and work.” She reduced it down to a high I perform the acting pain tolerance; I would assignment well. Can say it’s a high idiot toler“My ability to convey myself without emotions is strokes happen for days ance. beneficial in an academic setting but detrimental I often think of how on end? I get an A on a test. I can barely walk.

I’m perceived by othin a medical setting” Twelve-hour ER visit. I ers. A lot of people wish I could be in class worry about me, and right now. Labs come back relatively normal. I have I worry about them worrying about me. A worry to reschedule my accommodations meeting. Some whirlwind. I’m sure you’ve all been caught in one or, of the blood tests are wonky; I don’t want to go back perhaps, I have too many loved ones with anxiety. I to my PCP. Try physical therapy and try not to make think this part has been one of the most complicatit worse. Another A on a test. I’m so glad to be back ed to handle. I have spent so much time and energy at college. making sure people don’t worry about me. A tactic which often requires a lot of work and often leaves My ability to convey myself without emome with less help. Their panic also makes me feel tions is beneficial in an academic setting but detothered in a way I have difficulty describing. My rimental in a medical setting. Doctors see me as problem becomes theirs; it makes me feel guilty for having ‘a little bit of back pain.’ They don’t see the outwardly showing my hurt. I don’t know how to fix days where I can barely stand or sit, or ones where this while also allowing myself to foster connection.

I would rather not have a body than live like this Perhaps there isn’t, perhaps connection comes with anymore. I hide it all behind the research. My body allowing others to witness our pain. I think of all the as an assignment: these are the symptoms; this is pain I’ve held without others asking me to; I wonder the physical therapy homework I’ve done; these are when I’ll allow others to do the same for me. I think MRI labs I’ve attended. A detachment from myself, of the times I’ve been told I need to put my oxygen a subject. This is what I’ve enjoyed about acting, as mask on first before I help anyone else. I don’t know it combines my passion for literary analysis, theater, if there will be a time when my oxygen mask will be and my need to not be myself due to my pain. I on. It’s almost half on or it keeps falling off. Honestbecome a person wholly of my own interpretation; it ly, I’m not even sure mine exists. Do we all have to makes me feel strong at a time when I feel so weak. build our own or are we given it?

But it also takes me out of this world when I need to be in it. This is my own fallacy; an actor is always supposed to be present in the scene.

My ability to act has allowed some people to not understand my condition. It feels like my whole body is falling apart, but I fold myself together and present something doctors, bosses, coworkers, and professors alike can digest. No one asks for this but my brain navigates it before they do, creating a solution before the problem ever exists. The difficulty with acting away from a medical diagnosis is that while you can ignore the pain, it in turn causes more anguish. It took three physical therapists until I was told this pain wasn’t normal. My first physical

The perception of me also affects the kind of care I get. I’m fat. I use this as a neutral descriptor. I’m proud of the ways in which my body has provided for me and am not ashamed of my fatness. I am, 15

however, upset by how I’ve been treated because of not really. I’d much prefer to be average than above. it. My body does not determine my diet; my diet Yet I !nd myself climbing the beanstalk, looking for doesn’t dethe golden egg, one I’m aware doesn’t exist. I watch termine my myself from the outside seek validation, when I realmorality. It ly need to seek answers. Sometimes I wonder if I can has carried play the part of myself, act as if I am my own person. me through I think this may defeat the point. My identity, and my toughest I’m sure your identity as well, has been composed years, and from a littered mess of scattered fragments based on I will not people I’ve cared about and people who’ve hurt me. reduce it I wonder if I can change my identity or if it’s deterdown to a mined by my family or region. Was I born knowing nuisance. It to overextend myself or was I just taught it with a is more comknack for learning? plex and elaborate than most people and medical professionals want to admit, and I will not hurt my I’ve been trying to learn how to step into myfat body so I can get them to care about me. Being self recently. It entails sitting with my pain and grief in a caloric de!cit, for example, as recommended and anger. It requires imperfection and acknowledgto me by a medical professional, causes me to have ing it. It’s living with a person I don’t particularly tremors, nausea, fatigue, and other debilitating like but who I need to take care of. It’s a constant symptoms due to my condition, one I am still trying !ght. If I make the wrong move, all I’ve learned falls to !gure out and navigate. I’d like my body to be to the wayside; I end up leaning into old habits more fueled for the process. Building muscle and adding often than I would prefer. Do you know what that’s more nutrient and protein dense items to my diet like? Why does it feel like I’m the only one with too dramatically reduced my many papers to juggle?

“I’ve been trying to learn how to step into myself Maybe I’m too busy pain level. There is not a one-size-!ts-all to health. juggling to see everyone recently.”

I think about the people else doing it too. My who are perceived much physical therapy exerdifferently than me and receive worse care--maybe cises quickly became a disorganized mess. It took that’s you. I’m hoping writings like mine make you me until the fourth physical therapist to realize I feel less alone, but I know from experience the only wasn’t supposed to do all the exercises they gave me. stories I can !nd myself in are often my own.

Instead, I’m supposed to do the exercises which help my body based on the day. The problem with this Last semester we had to create a project is: I never know what my body needs. I started to based on our identity for my Composition II class. think I was the problem. There had to be something Most of the examples of identity given to us seemed wrong with me to explain why this wasn’t working. to relate to other people: friend, child, sibling, etc.

I couldn’t learn health. Maybe the standard model and I didn’t want my identity attached to someone isn’t for me; maybe my brain is far too scattered to else. I steered away from “student” for this reason keep up with a routine; maybe I’m not trying hard but don’t !nd myself living up to the ideals from enough. Maybe that’s why I can’t connect with mymy past. I !nd myself reading over my assignments self because this body is both the solution and the again and again. My writings provide a feeling of cause. My way out and also my prison. accomplishment, merit. It’s addictive. I think of the writers who drove themselves to insanity--riddled I !ght my contradictions daily. I say I’m with words--and I !nd myself relating to them. I better at writing because I regret my words a minute pour myself into readings and writings and escape after I say them. I am at war with my body and I’m myself and step into the role of the “student,” somesearching for a peace treaty. I catch the flu. I have to one who I can present to the world and show my go to this meeting. I sob in child’s pose one mornvalue. But that’s not me. No, I don’t want to excel, ing. I feel my muscles get weak from illness. I have 16

to do my dishes. I have an essay due. I start losing my ability to walk again. I want to go to class. I have to take out recycling. Breathing gets di!cult; I can’t wear a mask. I want to go to class. I have to get my prescription. I can’t get sick again. I want to go to class. Pushing myself through work is grueling, I’m in so much pain. I have to do my dishes. I want to go to class. The club I helped start was a success! I forget to eat. I want to go to class. My pain causes me to go on a leave of absence at work. I’m given a survey of all my symptoms over the last few monthshow do people keep track of this? When was the last time I peed? How am I supposed to afford an anti-inflammatory diet? I want to go to class. Am I the abnormal one? I have to clean my room. I want to go to class. I spend most of the first club meeting on the floor. Too tired to think. I want to go to class. I google ADHD evaluation near me. My heart palpitations start again. I have to make myself dinner. I don’t know what’s “doctor approved” to eat; nothing feels safe. I want to go to class. Why is it so hard to stretch my hip flexor? I am so tired. Why do I want to go to class?

it. I know lying on the ground doesn’t inherently say anything about me, however, it makes me feel like I’m showing the world a weakness. Under all these words, under all this constant analysis, observations, and problem solving is just a student in pain. Someone who needs to lie down after every class, whose words can crumble with too long of a migraine.

Whose understanding of their situation can’t change it. I’m sure you can relate.

When security approached me while I was lying outI decided to attend this semester part-time side, he asked if I was okay. I said yes. He said, “Are because I find joy from being on campus. Virtual you sure?” and my knee jerk reaction was to be upschool isn’t the same and I also find myself procrasset. Shouldn’t I be the person to know if I’m okay? tinating a lot more when I don’t have the physical Maybe I’m not okay. So many things have made it so school environment. It’s a psychological thing, I’m complicated to be “okay.” Maybe this doesn’t make sure. I would be naïve to not acknowledge the me dumb; having all the puzzle pieces doesn’t mean wonderful escape learning has granted me; it’s a gift the puzzle is put together. It takes time. Maybe the I am so glad to have. Still, it’s hard on me, and it isn’t next piece is to fall apart, leave the actor onstage, getting any easier. and be flawed. I think my “Maybe I’m not okay.

So many things have made it Walking hurts, sitting flaws peek through anyhurts, standing hurts, ways, I just stuff them back so complicated to be “okay.”” living hurts. People’s in and hope no one sees, perception of me although I know they do. Is causes me to undergo pain frequently. I sit too long, it better to have them on display or hanging out of avoid the gym, or avoid laying down because I’m my pocket? I want to wrap this essay into a bow; it’s scared of what you will think. I’m not even exactly almost imperative I do. I’m not sure I can. I’m not sure what you’ll think. It’s the knowing it’s being sure I can say the things I’m going to try next are gothought which gets me. Maybe what I fear most of ing to work. I can’t tell you the things I’ve compiled, all is: I won’t get better; I will never be able to fit the knowledge I have will help me. But I have this the way I used to. My disability will progress, and letter. Another symptom of my delirium. I’m pretty doctors can’t or won’t help me. I will never dance damn proud of it. And I hope you are too. again; I ache to dance. Full body dancing, the kind which you can feel in your legs the next day. I know Much Love, this is an inherently privileged thing to fear as I still Emery have so much mobility. I just wish I lived on less of a tightrope of what my future will look like in terms of 17

A Social Disaster

By Sarah Ryan

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Social media has grown tremendously in the last decade, as citizens all around the globe are spending their lives through their cell phones. The world has started to rely on social media for marketing ads, to buy clothes, to contact others, and even to create/share your identity.

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Social media apps like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, are all used to show who that person is and what they do in their life. People post them at the beach, playing with their kids, cooking dinner, and so much more.

Although this is great to see what friends are up to, it's also affecting the way we communicate with others. We don't reach out to make plans as much, and we stop having in person conversations, because our life revolves around cell phones.

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Petroc Taylor did a study in 2019 to see how many 18 year olds were on their cell phones at their everyday family dinner. The study came out to be 25.6 percent of people in the United States use cell phones or tablets during dinner with their families.

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Our lives have started to be on our phones. It's where we see updates and what people we know are doing that day, or we post something we are up to.

But most of the time what you see on social media could be fake, and we just don't know it. People can make their life look so entertaining when really they could be about to lose their house,going through a divorce, or they just got cheated on. So many real things are not posted on social media.

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Victoria Leonzi says there are 2 sides of social media: a good side, and a bad side.

Leonzi, who is majoring in marketing and currently going for her master’s, says, “The word gets out a lot faster, things go viral. It can definitely help with your sales and get you recognition.”

For someone in marketing as a career, social media is one of their top priorities to get more attention for what they are advertising.

Leonzi also states there is a bad side where “Trends on social media are always constantly changing as well as the technology we use. Its constant learning and many trial and errors, many adults also don't use social media and aren't familiar with these trends” In an article on Sprout Social, Mahnoor Sheikh reports that millennials are the most active on social media with almost 70% estimated to use social media in 2025.

Social media is one thing but technology is another. For the older generations it’s harder to learn than it is for the younger generations.

Social media has also helped so many find friends and family they have lost touch with, which helped reconnect others. But it's also been the cause of cyberbullying, as well as anxiety in some kids.

Do you think social media is helping us?

Or do you think it is causing more damage to our personalities and who we are?

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Untitled

By Gadiel Valdes She was stronger than me, and quicker. At the time, I was drowning myself in the wonders of the world, substances that were rejected by the soul and deteriorating my body. I think she knew that. That’s why she would let me catch up to her at times, but I could never reach her.

She was always close to my clasp but never in it.

She had a long oval face, her skin was dark, and you could tell she had been bathing in sunlight all day. Her nose was curved and perky, her cheeks overwhelmed her face, and her eyes were so deep you could get lost in them. Her appearance was steadfast, but not enough to overwhelm her brown irises and her affectionate personality. But I could never read her, nor what was on her mind.

That day when she outran me, and my dying lungs had been filled to their limit, when I laid on the turf that summer with sweat trickling down my neck, she came back to me. Her face covered the sun and the sunlight sifted through her soft brown curly hair. She looked like an angel to me. To her I probably looked like an anorexic druggie. But we became friends, good ones for a time.

Our mutual friendships had had us separated, but our relationship started growing from time to time from when we would occasionally meet. I would rarely see her, though. When I did, we would find a place to sit, and the world stopped its spinning. I can vaguely remember her smile. She was good at it, smiling. She was good at lying too, to herself. As She was better than me at everything really: good someone who knew how to hate oneself, I could see grades, good personality, good awareness, great athher personality crack and watch as her sorrow bled leticism, funny jokes, I envied her. I was the complete through her. I think she knew that I knew how sad opposite; we were like ice and hot water. Our chemistry she was. And so for a while she kept a good distance was something that would have never existed. And yet, I from me. But I cared for her, more than I did myself. was infatuated.

One night, we had managed to see each other at a party from a friend we knew. And I knew to stay away; my mind was at its limit, but I kept it hidden like always. I was leaning towards a window, where I could see the night sky, and I stood there for a while, enjoying my solitude. Until I wasn’t, and she was right next to me, watching the sky as I was. It had been a while since we last talked, and so we did.

“Her face covered the sun and the sunlight sifted through her soft brown curly hair. She looked like an angel to me.”

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We spoke about things we were too afraid to say to each other. And I learned that while I was drowning in my more time for someone who had wrestled with himself tial. I had confused her loving kindness with fear of not being loved, so I tried reaching out to kiss her, but she I guess she knew that I was lying to myself, that I was masking my detriment and latching onto her for some sense of attachment. She was smarter than me. Being around her meant I was always learning something new about myself. And I learned how similar we were, and

“She was smarter than me. Being around her meant I was always learning something new about myself.”

I was saved, and my body felt lighter, and I knew I would never see her again. I am now in community college; she is in a private school in Pennsylvania.

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Sitting With Myself

By Robin Gilmore

Not sure exactly when it began for me these last two years. Some might look at it as burnout, or a part of it was the weaning off of the things that made my mind and body hurt so much. I would probably say it was most likely the letting go of things that kept me in the hamster wheel of surviving. All this added up to the fact that my life was not working for me. I was angry, emotionally drained, constantly trying to keep up financially, pushing myself to keep up with the standards that I set for myself, setting the bar way too high, making myself solely responsible for making it all work in everybody’s favor.

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I felt unsupported, unheard, disliked and underappreciated. I also felt physically sick, lost weight, had high blood pressure, a racing heart, and was sweating all the time.

There was nothing left but to let it all go. To take care of myself first. And so I did. The decision took some time, because to accept I could no longer do it all, made me question if I was a failure.

I have spent the last year and a half sitting with my parts in all of that pain and frustration.

What was my part? What was theirs? What was I unable to communicate to be heard? So I sat with myself… a lot. At first I felt like I was floating. My scalp and brain felt like effervescent bubbles just rising and rising. I felt relief that I was not repeating the same patterns over and over. I felt safe again.

I felt excited by my next steps to begin a new story, and yet hesitant because I had no idea of which direction I wanted to go. So next, I decided I would sit in the waiting room of my mind and see where it takes me. Doctor visits every month from August to present day showed there were some health issues that had to be worked through.

My mental health was the most difficult to work through.

In the winter I fell into a very deep and dark depression after experiencing a dissociative episode. The episode left me feeling frightened that I was not in my own body or mind in a certain period of time I only partially remember.

That hit me very hard. My self talk was horrible.

I held no compassion for my mistakes or choices.

My critical judgements were close to killing me, and the very core of my being could not be saved.

I wanted to die and came so close until… I jumped out of my bed and headed straight to my art table.

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I had not used it in a very long time.

I thought I would be making art all the time but had not made any in almost a year. And then I was at the art table creating these micro miniature works of art. I painted small watercolors, and then, once dry, I began to explore the shapes, forms and colors with graphite pencil while viewing them with magnifying eyewear. This took me to a deep, deep level, a closer inspection of my soul. It became intuitive, it became stories through images I was creating. My mind began to change. The synapses began to spark, and I felt better. I felt engaged with living. I had to do something to change the direction my life was heading and this was a positive direction.

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Art may have and probably always has saved me. Sitting with myself has been a growing experience, although time away from the world has been somewhat lonely. Yet I was never really alone. I was bored a lot, yet I created a garden. I made amazing meals; I took photographs of my everyday life. There was always an artist working inside of me.

METHAMPHETAMINE From Medicinal Wonder to Social Menace

By Kat Sorrentino

Methamphetamine is a potent stimulant with a deeply unsettling and multifaceted history.

What began as a promising pharmaceutical innovation evolved into a substance that not only fueled military campaigns but was also once prescribed to children. Over time, it became enmeshed in public health crises and criminal enterprises, even surfacing in global financial systems through money laundering. This essay explores the evolution of methamphetamine—from its early medicinal use to

flowers, and symbolic headbands (Zócalo Public Square, 2021). After the war, leftover Philopon leaked into the civilian market, setting off a wave of addiction across Japan (Courtwright, 2001).

The long-term fallout was devastating: Japan saw a sharp increase in psychiatric hospitalizations and violent crime directly linked to methamphetamine abuse (Meleis, 2020).

Meanwhile in Nazi Germany, methamphetamine was sold under the brand name Pervitin. Initially available over the counter, it quickly gained notoriety for its role in enabling German troops to sustain long periods of combat during the Blitzkrieg. The stimulant allowed soldiers to march for days without rest, but the effects were short-lived. After about four days of use, many collapsed from exhaustion, suffered hallucinations, or entered psychotic states, rendering them unable to fight and leading to battlefield failures (Ohler, 2017).

Reports

“Adolf Hitler received frequent injections of methamphetamine and other stimulants from his personal physician” its military applications, its connection to ADHD treatments like Adderall and Ritalin, and the serious mental health and societal risks tied to its use and withdrawal.

The drug’s origin dates back to 1893, when Japanese chemist Nagai Nagayoshi first synthesized it from ephedrine. A few decades later, in 1919, Akira Ogata refined it into a crystalline form using phosphorus and iodine, producing a version that was both more powerful and easier to consume (Meleis, 2020). During World War II, Japan began distributing methamphetamine—then known as Philopon—to soldiers, pilots, and laborers.

It was intended to boost endurance and sharpen focus. Kamikaze pilots, in particular, were administered high doses before their missions. These rituals often included the consumption of pep pills, dubbed Totsugeki-Jo or “storming tablets,” which combined meth with green tea powder and were adorned with the imperial crest. These sendoffs were ceremonial affairs, complete with sake,

even suggest Adolf Hitler received frequent injections of methamphetamine and other stimulants from his personal physician, Dr. Theodor 25

Morell—a dependency that some historians believe influenced his increasingly erratic behavior and decision-making toward the end of the war (Ohler, 2017).

In both the Japanese and German cases, the short-term performance boost came at an enormous psychological and strategic cost.

In the years that followed, methamphetamine found a new role in American medicine. It was marketed for a range of conditions including obesity, depression, and fatigue. By the 1950s, amphetamines were even prescribed to children with behavioral disorders—what we now recognize as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Though rarely used today due to its high potential for abuse, methamphetamine hydrochloride is still legally prescribed under the brand name Desoxyn (U.S. Food & Drug Administration [FDA], 2021). However, its inclusion in psychiatric treatment was not without harm. Throughout the mid-20th century, lax regulations and aggressive pharmaceutical marketing led to widespread misuse and dependency, particularly among women and children (Courtwright, 2001).

Modern ADHD treatments like Adderall (a mixture of amphetamine salts) and Ritalin (methylphenidate) have largely replaced methamphetamine in clinical settings. Although structurally different, these medications function similarly by stimulating dopamine and norepinephrine activity in the brain to improve attention and focus (Lakhan & Kirchgessner, 2012). While effective when taken as prescribed, these drugs can be dangerous when misused. High doses can mimic the euphoria and dependency risk of methamphetamine, and chronic misuse has been linked to increased anxiety, insomnia, cardiovascular issues, and even psychosis (Lakhan & Kirchgessner, 2012).

The rise of academic and recreational misuse—par26

ticularly among students and professionals—has sparked new public health concerns about long-term effects and access to care.

Research has also shown that methamphetamine use is strongly correlated with violent behavior. Studies suggest that individuals who use methamphetamine are

Nagai Nagayoshi

significantly more likely to engage in aggressive acts, which can result in severe injury or even death. A 2023 study found that trauma patients who tested positive for methamphetamine were more likely to suffer from penetrating injuries, such as gunshot and stab wounds, and had a higher risk of death upon arrival at the hospital (PMC, 2023). Another study revealed that methamphetamine users were nearly nine times more likely to commit homicide than non-users, indicating a clear link between methamphetamine use and violent tendencies, even when adjusting for other variables such as alcohol consumption and socioeconomic factors (PubMed, 2008). These findings suggest that methamphetamine does not just alter cognitive functions but can escalate aggression to dangerous levels, with far-reaching consequences for public safety.

Withdrawal from methamphetamine and similar stimulants is another area of serious concern. People coming off these substances often report extreme fatigue, depressive episodes, irritability, and cognitive impairments. Methamphetamine withdrawal, in particular, has been associated with suicidal ideation, paranoia, and violent behavior (Darke et al., 2008). Similar risks have been noted for Adderall and Ritalin withdrawal, especially in individuals who misuse the drugs or have co-occurring mental health disorders (Wilens et al.,

2008). Without proper medical and psychological support, withdrawal can spiral into crisis—affecting not only individuals but also families and communities.

But the damage methamphetamine causes doesn’t stop at personal health. It spills into organized crime and financial systems as well. In 2024, TD Bank became embroiled in a major scandal after admitting to anti-money laundering failures. Investigators discovered that drug traffickers, including those involved in the meth trade, had funneled hundreds of millions of dollars through the bank undetected (Department of Justice [DOJ], 2024). These funds were linked to violent criminal networks and international trafficking operations.

The case highlighted how methamphetamine isn’t just a street drug—it’s a multi-billion-dollar industry that fuels corruption, violence, and systemic failure.

“It spills into organized crime and financial systems”

Methamphetamine’s transformation from a scientific breakthrough to a weapon of war, a prescription drug, and ultimately a destructive force in society illustrates the complex dangers of unchecked stimulant use. Even its legal relatives—Adderall and

Ritalin—carry serious risks when misused. The psychological collapse of soldiers, the post-war epidemics of addiction, and the financial corruption tied to trafficking networks reveal just how deep the consequences run.

Addressing these challenges requires a multidisciplinary approach—combining insights from medicine, history, law enforcement, and economics.

References Courtwright, D. T. (2001). Dark history of amphetamines: From medical marvel to social menace. Harvard University Press.

Darke, S., Duflou, J., & Kaye, S. (2008). Methamphetamine use and violence: A review of the literature. Addiction, 103(4), 613620. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1360-0443.2008.02265.x Department of Justice. (2024). TD Bank linked to international drug trafficking money laundering scheme. https://www.justice. gov/opa/press-release/td-bank-linked-international-drug-trafficking-money-laundering-scheme FDA. (2021). Desoxyn (methamphetamine hydrochloride) product labeling. U.S. Food and Drug Administration. https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugsatfda_docs/label/2021/011279s053lbl.pdf Lakhan, S. E., & Kirchgessner, A. (2012). The mental health effects of chronic stimulant use: A review of the literature. The Journal of Addiction Research & Therapy, 3(3), 110-118. https:// doi.org/10.4172/2155-6105.1000110 Meleis, A. I. (2020). The history of methamphetamine in Japan: From wartime use to post-war addiction crisis. Journal of Japanese History, 36(2), 45-59.

Ohler, N. (2017). Blitzed: Drugs in Nazi Germany. Hachette Books.

PMC. (2023). Methamphetamine use and violent trauma: A study on penetrating injuries. PubMed Central. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih. gov/articles/PMC10176051/?utm_source=chatgpt.com PubMed. (2008). Methamphetamine use and homicide risk: A national case-control study. National Library of Medicine. https:// pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18936516/?utm_source=chatgpt.com Wilens, T. E., Faraone, S. V., & Biederman, J. (2008). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and substance use disorders: A review of the literature. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 47(1), 9-20. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.

chi.0000305713.74558.3e

Zócalo Public Square. (2021). The forgotten history of methamphetamine in Japan. https://www.zocalopublicsquare.org/2021/10/13/methamphetamine-japan-history/

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‘Late nights in places that have never been’ 2025 Black and White Collection

‘Withdrawal // Graduation’ Jake Killoy

‘Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun’

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‘Blur - Song 2’

‘Walking the Cow - Daniel Johnston’

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Ct State Guide to the Cannabis INdustry

By Sa’Quan Bolton

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On July 1,2021, the state ofConnectcut, after years of legislation, became the Ninetieth state that fully legalized recreational marijuana. With this legalization, the cannabis industry, which was already experiencing a boom in economic gains in states like Colorado and Massachusetts, now is presenting new opportunity for both personal and career growth to Ct residents including but not limited to collaborating with various colleges.

In fact, Connecticut Colleges and Universities actively encourage and provide both resources and various opportunities of learning to CT students and non-students alike. As the industry continues to bloom, various postions and needs are constantly changing and evolving resulting in open season for CT dispenseries and Cannabis Education.

Beginning in 2021, numerous colleges from Southern/Eastern Connecticut, UConn, University of New Haven, Naugatuck Valley, now offer courses in both cultivating and production of cannabis which documents cannabis history, various applications of both THC and CBD and its health advantages and disadvantages, while acquiring handson experience conducting with plants before students’ first dispensary job.

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According to a 2024 CT Insider article, “Since the fall of 2022, the University of New Haven has partnered with California-based cannabis education company, Green Flower, to offer several types of six-month, online cannabis certification programs, such as product development, business, medical and compliance”

Some of the areas of study include; Introduction to Medical Cannabis, Introduction to the Horticulture of Cannabis, Cannabis Studies Certificate and Cannabis Cultivation and Chemistry. For students over the age of 21, there is access to almost all courses available through student dashboards, from there students can search using the student dashboard or by using the CT state website to manually search both start dates and duration of courses.

An important detail is that these courses often lie within the Horticulture and Botany majors, so while students don’t have to switch majors to take these classes and in fact they can elect to have cannabis study as a minor, they can expect to learn about how biology, genetics and environmental and evolution science intersect with the study of cannabis plant cultivation.

Sacred Knowledge Once completed, most courses of study offer authentic state verified CT Cannabis Certificates that will then allow students to apply to medical and recreational dispensaries at intermediate positions, but once students in the field are then well-positioned to ascend through the ranks as students will be provided additional paid training programs for higher positions.

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REFERENCES

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1. Weiss, Abby. “These CT Universities Are Preparing Students for Jobs In ...” These CT Universities Are Preparing Students for Jobs in the Evolving Cannabis Industry, 17 Apr. 2024, www.ctinsider.com/cannabis/article/ connecticut-college-university-cannabis-job-market-19397681.php.

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While students don’t need a degree or certification to obtain an entry level position at a dispensary, it remains an extremely competitive field that is undergoing constant changes as the state of Connecticut continues to change old and outdated laws as they write new legislation. As a result, most dispensaries on average pay more attention to those who have specialized knowledge, education or experience in the field of cultivating.

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Given all these changes, not only is it an exciting time in a rapidly evolving industry for the state but students and residents could have a unique chance to grow and enrich their perspectives, along with their educational and personal development.

ENgage Responsibly

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agazine mus e um By: A. Sterling

A Cowboys Life P1, 2024 Graphite

Sopranos Montage, 2024 Digitally Drawn

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A Cowboys Life P2, 2024 Graphite and Acrylic

TLX, 2024 Digitally Drawn Sade Live Poster, 2025 Digitally Drawn

Camels & Coronas, 2025 Digitally Drawn Agnosticism, 2024 Acrylic on Canvas

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The Werth Center For Innovation And Entreprenuer Interview Ft. Dr. Matthew Connell “We meet students were they are in their ideas and concepts of business. We are happy to sit down and discuss ideas no matter what stage of development or thought the idea is in.”

Dr. Matt Connell comes to us with an extensive background in innovation management, entrepreneurship, and academic leadership. He has started, run and owned numerous businesses. He has served as the undergraduate Director and Assistant Professor in the Ernest C. Trefz School of Business at the University of Bridgeport (UB) and at Goodwin University where he spearheaded the development of a statewide entrepreneurial program which resulted in the creation of over 80 businesses in CT. He also successfully raised over $1m in grant money and created opportunities for students and faculty to engage with cutting-edge ideas and practices.

How would you describe the Werth Center’s mission?

The mission of the Werth Center is to help students/staff/faculty/alumni of the State Community College system learn about various aspects of business; from concepts-business growth and development. We provide resources to support individuals with their business needs and goals from workshops, makerspace, and mentoring, and conversations.

As the new director how are you enjoying the mission so far?

So far I am enjoying being at the Werth Center. I love talking to people about business and helping people create business ideas and expand their business concepts.

What memorable moments have you experienced since leading at the Werth Center? Honestly there have been a few already. I love the daily interactions I have with students and the conversations. On Monday 4/28 we held a statewide elevator Pitch. 20 finalists from 7 campuses. This was a great experience.

Can you tell us about the new facility and what makes it special for students?

The new space is beautiful. It is spacious, has a beautiful section for maker space, a great area for students to come and in work, awesome classroom. It is just a great space!

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What new equipment or technology does the Werth Center now offer that wasn’t available before?

We have a new heat and bottle press, new 3d printer, an embroidery machine.

The weekly workshops have gained some traction throughout the school.

What topics have stood out the most to students?

We focus these workshops on business concepts. Some that have stood out our the “register your LLC”, the “foundations of Business” and the “marketing and branding” How do you choose the subjects and speakers for each workshop?

We try to choose subjects that are relevant to small and starting businesses. We look for speakers with experience in these areas.

Can you share a story of a student or project that’s been especially inspiring?

There have been many. There is the student working on taking her artwork and creating an online TV show with her characters. To see her passion and persistence has been awesome. There is the student that creates music and tracks for customers, the student who registered her cleaning business and created the new logo. To work with individuals so passionate about what they are doing is amazing.

What partnerships or collaborations help make these programs possible?

There are many. There are collaborations with faculty and colleagues here at HCC and at the other campuses, there are partnerships

with community programs and partners, as well as partnerships with local businesses. I believe in the concept that “it takes a village” and the Werth Center is no exception! Without our partnerships and collaborations we could not accomplish our goals.

How does the Werth Center support students who are just beginning to explore entrepreneurship?

We meet students were they are in their ideas and concepts of business. We are happy to sit down and discuss ideas no matter what stage of development or thought the idea is in. You do not have to have an active business to participate in the Center and you do not have to guarantee you will be starting or attempting to start a business. You just need to want to have a conversation, and we are happy to talk!

Are there resources for students who already have business ideas or ventures in progress?

Yes, we can assist students who are already in business. Depending on the resources needed we may recommend one of our partners for greater support.

What kind of mentorship is available through the center?

We offer 1-1 mentorship. All someone has to do is email Matthew.Connell@CTstate.edu to set up an appt. The mentorship can focus on anything business related, from business idea to business development. We sit with individuals to help register their businesses, work on milestones and goal setting, to just brainstorming, and marketing strategies.

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How do you measure success?

I measure success for the Center in multiple ways. Number of students that walk through the door. Number of students that get support. Number of students that walk away with a better sense of next steps, and of course when a students business becomes sustainable.

Where do you see the Werth Center five years from now?

I see the Center being at the center for innovation and entrepreneurship in the state college system. I see us working closely with all 12 campuses. WIth programs and partnerships that support statewide business development and growth.

Are there any upcoming initiatives or expansions you’re especially excited about?

We are working on a few things. We are trying to create a website that will allow students to list their businesses so potential customers can find them. We are working on creating a entrepreneurial credential that would be a pre-certification to the for credit entrepreneurial program in the course catalog.

resources to support their business needs, the idea of persistence and reaching out for help when they need. I Hope they take away the fact that we are always here to help and support them.

How does Peter Werth’s legacy influence the work you do every day?

Mr. Werth has built a tremendous business with his company ChemWerth. It took years and persistence to build. I think beyond inspiration his story creates for myself and others, we would not be here were it not for his generosity.

If you could give one piece of advice to a student entrepreneur walking into the center for the first time, what would it be?

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

You don’t have to go it alone. We are here to help!

How do you envision the Werth Center adapting to changes in the business and startup world?

The world is always changing. The introduction of AI will have a huge impact on business and the Werth Center will need to keep up with this change and make sure to integrate AI concepts into learning.

What do you hope students take away from their time at the Werth Center?

I hope students walk away with a few things; better knowledge of business concepts, 38

The Werth Center has workshops like sewing, embroidery, 3d printing, and screenprinting for all those who are interested in using the design space.

CT STATE - HOUSATONIC ST UDENT ART SHOW Design & Photography: Jolita Sanchez Garcia Writing: Arturo Herrera

On May 5, 2025, CT State Housatonic held its annual student art show with an amazing reception, marvelous cuisine, and live music in the Lafayette Hall Atrium. As always, the art exhibition is a great opportunity to showcase the massive talent of our very own Housatonic students. The celebration of creativity and talent brings a sense of pride and conviviality to our campus community. This year, special jurors Suzann Kachmar and Iyaba Ibo Mandingo carefully selected three winners; Kim Wilson, Rowen Curley and Karly Killoy.

Arturo Herrera - Burger Bear” 2025 Acrylic

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Michael Curry Jr. - “Dance Away” 2023 Michael Curry Jr. - “A Short Story” 2022 traditional to digital, framed

ion this sect n i d e d u l Inc ith views w r e t n i e r a o rtists wh t student a the even n i d e t a f the particip mages o . i s a l l e as w ork h their w e t i w s t s i t ar hav hat they Here’s w to say.

Why did you put your work into the show?

I didn’t put work in the previous year year and the more I thought about it, I figured why not.

What inspired your work?

A creative writing assignment How do you feel about your art work being displayed in the show?

It felt nice having it on display and it was fun to see what people had to say about my work. And I felt accomplished.

Sa’Quan Bolton - “Self-Study: Soul” 2025 Acrylic and metalic acrylic on canvas Why did you put your work into the show?

Simply put for exposure and confidence.

What inspired your work?

I wanted to create a conceptual self study.

How do you feel about your art work being displayed in the show?

Uncanny, feels a little wild but in a good way.

Last words, I picked a long horned owl because it represents knowledge, creativity, wisdom, while still being a predator.

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Ariella Sanchez - “Bite the Bullet” 2025 Photography Ariella Sanchez - “Abstract Design 1” 2024 Acrylic on canvas

le eren’t ab w e w e l i te Wh ne despi o y r e v e k, to find rful wor e d n o w ed their otograph the h p l l i t s we s of re photo r o m e m o s and thei s t n a p i c i part artwork.

Lovette Carden - “Bad Bunny” 2025 Acylic

Chanell Daniels - “Love Me” 2025 Acrylic and gel matte on canvas

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Saba Seyal - “The Girl” 2025 Acrylicc on board

Peter Hanna - “Christ’s Passion” 2025 Charcoal

Sebastian Gonzalez - “Still Life Mesh” 2025 Digital Art

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W I NN E R S !

Kim Wilson “Smile w/the Banging Hair” 2025 Ceramic/Mixed Media Kim Wilson won 1st place in the 2025 Student Art Show.

Karly Killoy - “innocence” 2024 Acyilic Karly Killoy won 3rd place in the art show.

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