Horizons Summer/Fall 2026 by Housatonic Horizons

ABOUT THIS SPECIAL ISSUE

When we realized we would not be running the Publications Workshop class that does the majority of writing for Horizons, we decided to move in a new direction. We would seek contributions from the campus community, open submissions to a broader range of approaches, and allow what we received to determine our direction and focus. Thus, we present you with this special edition focused on perspective.

These widely divergent pieces of writing, photographs, and artwork invite you to see situations, places, and people from a fresh angle, to take another, closer, often surprising look. They widen our view and deepen our understanding. And, as does every issue of Horizons, they again reveal the immense talent and skill to be found here at Housatonic. We hope you will enjoy this special issue.

Professor Steve Mark, Advisor to Horizons Robert Terentieff, Editor-in-Chief

Maybe This Will Work

By Emery Popick

My back

A fussy baby

Feeding its every need and whimsy

Stand but not in one place

My feet are numb

Not for too long Walk but not too fast

My back is hot

Not for too long

Lay down but not on your left side or back or stomach

My body is shaking

Not for too long

Take ibuprofen for the pain and inflammation

My stomach boils

Not for too long

Medical professionals will tell me conflicting information A cartographer I become

Drawing a map from incomplete or inaccurate instruction Trying not to increase the damage in the meantime I wonder

About their perception of me:

The anxious over reactor.

The lazy fat.

The pain-intolerant woman.

The director calls me on stage and tells me to act The nurse calls my name

But I don’t do it correctly Again. Again. Again.

I can’t play the part well enough

And I fail to get them to see my reality.

I feel good this week

I sat wrong;

Not for too long.

Dr. Barbie

By Rita Fardy StaffWriter

Iwas never a doll fan. I like stuffed animals. My granddaughter Pina, when she was around eight, was a huge Barbie fan. She had all the Barbies. The one in the wheelchair, the fashion model, many Barbies. She always wanted to play Barbie. This is by far my least favorite game, but, being a dutiful Grammy, we played.

We would each have a Barbie doll, and all their clothes would be between us. Then she would pick a category like business casual, and we’d pick out outfits. Then they had to walk the runway and describe their look. Pina’s brother, Ambrose, was always the judge. The diplomat that he was, he made sure that we both won the same amount of contests.

One afternoon Pina wanted to play Barbie. The thought of fighting to get half-inch shoes on hard, tiny, tiny feet made me crazy. I told her we could play but not dress up. She said, “OK. Why don’t you be Dr. Barbie, and we will be the patients?”

This I could handle. So, with my tiny, tiny Barbie stethoscope I got to work. My first patient needed her appendix out. I skillfully and gently performed the operation. When it was done, to add a twist, in a very loud screechy voice I said, “Now you owe me $50,000.”

“But I don’t have $50,000,” she replied.

“I’m putting your rotten appendix back if you don’t give me $50,000.”

“OK, OK!”

The next patient needed casts on both legs. Doc Barbie carefully set both legs and put a cast on them. When the task was completed

again, I screeched, “Now you owe me $50,000 or I’ll break your legs again.”

Pina and Ambrose both laughed so hard that their faces hurt. Doc Barbie performed a few more operations and demanded the same fee every time. Pina, who is an eye roller and who would barely crack a smile when an adult made a joke, said, “Grammy, you should be on stage. You’re hilarious!!”

That afternoon was special even though it wasn’t earth shattering or utterly profound, It made our bond even stronger. I was the cool Grammy. I broke the barrier. It was a very special afternoon, and I will think about it for a long time.

Sometimes it’s not the words or the lectures that get through. Sometimes it’s being vulnerable and silly, not worrying how it makes you look. It can bring you closer and strengthen the bond between you. So be silly and see what happens.

P.S. I never received my $50,000!

By Robert Terentieff

Forgetfullness

I’ve never been good with names I meet someone and their name drifts along with the wind. Car ried by their mouth. But somewhere along the line. Your name became car ved into my mind W ith lines so distinct. T hat even in a million year s I would still remember. Ever y time you made me smile. Ever y trip you took with me. You drifted away but your etched name remains We don’t talk anymore. But your name is forever connected with mine I’ve never been good with names. But I hope to God I never for get your s.....

Emer y Popick

\ \ \ Ghosts are real–just look at the stars.

By Justice Allen

;A star danced clumsily across the sky, another star playing out of tune. Two stars in love; both were buffoons. So stupid in love that they fell out of place. Two stars in love on their way to a planet full of life. Two stars in love who fell out of place in their school—they are not quite on the right route. Two stars so bright that they don’t realize they’re dead. Two stars where one dances clumsily and the other plays out of tune so badly that they’ve entered said planet.

,The life on this planet—this planet called Earth—was an extremely diverse group. Some were reptiles, some were mammoths, some were even asleep! To those who were awake, some of life was stuck in their own planets—their minds. So stuck that they’ve failed to witness these two off-route hopeless romantics. They’ve failed to witness ghosts dance. Those stars are ghosts. Once full of life, just like Earth, and yet… here they are, about to destroy life unknowingly. It would be too late once they’ve got their minds clicked back into place. They could no longer scream for help, for love. They could only continue embracing each other as they dived into the ground of a foreign home. Passing the stage of the afterlife, stepping into real death.

Why did they have to take the life of Earth with them?

Why did they have to be so dumb? So loving?

Why did they? Why?

It wasn’t their fault but it was. Innocent lovers, the same as them, were now gone. They did not get the chance to experience being ghosts. They had to dive right into a pure death due to unnatural causes. They had to dive right in just as the stars that took away their life. They had to leave their life behind, some who didn’t even get to live it. All for love. All for a clumsy dancer. All for a player out of tune. !aybe they died for familiarity, people stars just like them. They could’ve died the same way. For love. For animals who dance clumsily. For animals that play out of tune. For animals already dead, just not in a pure death state. It wasn’t the stars’ fault but it was.

UWas it?

Were they just doing a favor unknowingly?

They didn’t know they were going to destroy a planet. Was it intentional?

Love hurts. Love kills. Love means sacrifice. Love means creation.

-These two stars created. They are creators. Creators of death. These stars mean love. A star danced clumsily across the sky, another star playing out of tune. Two stars in love; both were buffoons. So stupid in love they fell off their route. So stupid they killed the life inhabiting Earth. But everything is for love, right?

Grounding: A L etter f rom a Student in Pain

You may or may not have seen me lying on the ground – security sure has. You can o en see me resting under stairs, on furniture, or even outside like security found me a few weeks ago. I have chronic back pain due to disc and muscle problems, which started to become debilitating three semesters ago. My back, despite seeing four di erent physical therapists, struggles to keep me upright and o en strains my body in the process. Despite my best e orts and the doctor’s recommendations, my condition continues to worsen. I was told by a medical professional that I will be okay because I am young. I’m not sure I believe him.

In one of my classes, my professor mentioned there are many ways to be smart, and while I agree, I hold the belief there are many ways to be dumb as well I’ve o en been deemed smart by other people for my ability to do schoolwork and navigate school in general. However, I usually cannot navigate a group project; in fact, I am usually the person making the project more di cult for ever yone involved. It’s been this way since I was young. I’m “smart” in personal work and in group work I’m ver y “dumb.” e markers for my--and I’m sure your-- smartness and dumbness are o en given based on environment and can be taken at any mo-

ment. I have di culty de ning them for this reason. Professors see me as knowledgeable, whereas doctors don’t even see me as knowledgeable of the body I live in.

“I have pain ever ywhere”

In a way, the medical professionals are correct. I’ve become more adept at homework than introspection, and this may be one of my dumbest mistakes. A degree is worth nothing when I have no body to carr y the diploma. While I seek academic validation, I feel myself deteriorating, and I fear the consequences. I have pain ever ywhere. My legs, abdomen, back, neck, head, arms. It stings, aches, bites, grinds, stabs, throbs. e more I talk to doctors the dumber I feel, the less I nd myself able to go back, the more I want to hide in my shell and deteriorate in solitude. I tr y to use my smartness by using something familiar, reading. e internet tells me I’m at risk of paralysis if it progresses. I forget about my chronic anxiety. e whole le side of my body progressively gets number and number. I go to school. I tell myself I shouldn’t stand because it would be disrespectful. My body makes me anyways. R ate your pain on a scale of 1-10. What does that even mean? I feel embarrassed. My brain

compels me to sit back down. I’ve been bothering my PCP so much lately. I get an 88. I’ve been having a month-long migraine. I tell myself I do too well in school to get accommodations. Migraine medication helps; I can think again! I get a perfect score on my re!ection. Going up stairs becomes more difficult. I perform the acting assignment well. Can strokes happen for days on end? I get an A on a test. I can barely walk. Twelve-hour ER visit. I wish I could be in class right now. Labs come back relatively normal. I have to reschedule my accommodations meeting. Some of the blood tests are wonky; I don’t want to go back to my PCP. Try physical therapy and try not to make it worse. Another A on a test. I’m so glad to be back at college.

“My ability to convey myself without emotions is beneficial in an academic setting but detrimental in a medical setting”

therapist told me I was going to be in pain and had to push through it. What he didn’t know (or care to know) is that I can push my body exceedingly far. At another physical therapy intake appointment, I said “No amount of pain will stop me from going to school and work.” She reduced it down to a high pain tolerance; I would say it’s a high idiot tolerance.

My ability to convey myself without emotions is beneficial in an academic setting but detrimental in a medical setting. Doctors see me as having ‘a little bit of back pain.’ They don’t see the days where I can barely stand or sit, or ones where I would rather not have a body than live like this anymore. I hide it all behind the research. My body as an assignment: these are the symptoms; this is the physical therapy homework I’ve done; these are MRI labs I’ve attended. A detachment from myself, a subject. This is what I’ve enjoyed about acting, as it combines my passion for literary analysis, theater, and my need to not be myself due to my pain. I become a person wholly of my own interpretation; it makes me feel strong at a time when I feel so weak. But it also takes me out of this world when I need to be in it. This is my own fallacy; an actor is always supposed to be present in the scene.

My ability to act has allowed some people to not understand my condition. It feels like my whole body is falling apart, but I fold myself together and present something doctors, bosses, coworkers, and professors alike can digest. No one asks for this but my brain navigates it before they do, creating a solution before the problem ever exists. The difficulty with acting away from a medical diagnosis is that while you can ignore the pain, it in turn causes more anguish. It took three physical therapists until I was told this pain wasn’t normal. My first physical

I often think of how I’m perceived by others. A lot of people worry about me, and I worry about them worrying about me. A worry whirlwind. I’m sure you’ve all been caught in one or, perhaps, I have too many loved ones with anxiety. I think this part has been one of the most complicated to handle. I have spent so much time and energy making sure people don’t worry about me. A tactic which often requires a lot of work and often leaves me with less help. Their panic also makes me feel othered in a way I have difficulty describing. My problem becomes theirs; it makes me feel guilty for outwardly showing my hurt. I don’t know how to fix this while also allowing myself to foster connection. Perhaps there isn’t, perhaps connection comes with allowing others to witness our pain. I think of all the pain I’ve held without others asking me to; I wonder when I’ll allow others to do the same for me. I think of the times I’ve been told I need to put my oxygen mask on first before I help anyone else. I don’t know if there will be a time when my oxygen mask will be on. It’s almost half on or it keeps falling off. Honestly, I’m not even sure mine exists. Do we all have to build our own or are we given it?

The perception of me also affects the kind of care I get. I’m fat. I use this as a neutral descriptor. I’m proud of the ways in which my body has provided for me and am not ashamed of my fatness. I am,

however, upset by how I’ve been treated because of it. My body does not determine my diet; my diet doesn’t determine my morality. It has carried me through my toughest years, and I will not reduce it down to a nuisance. It is more complex and elaborate than most people and medical professionals want to admit, and I will not hurt my fat body so I can get them to care about me. Being in a caloric de!cit, for example, as recommended to me by a medical professional, causes me to have tremors, nausea, fatigue, and other debilitating symptoms due to my condition, one I am still trying to !gure out and navigate. I’d like my body to be fueled for the process. Building muscle and adding more nutrient and protein dense items to my diet dramatically reduced my pain level. There is not a one-size-!ts-all to health. I think about the people who are perceived much differently than me and receive worse care--maybe that’s you. I’m hoping writings like mine make you feel less alone, but I know from experience the only stories I can !nd myself in are often my own.

not really. I’d much prefer to be average than above. Yet I !nd myself climbing the beanstalk, looking for the golden egg, one I’m aware doesn’t exist. I watch myself from the outside seek validation, when I really need to seek answers. Sometimes I wonder if I can play the part of myself, act as if I am my own person. I think this may defeat the point. My identity, and I’m sure your identity as well, has been composed from a littered mess of scattered fragments based on people I’ve cared about and people who’ve hurt me. I wonder if I can change my identity or if it’s determined by my family or region. Was I born knowing to overextend myself or was I just taught it with a knack for learning?

“I’ve been trying to learn how to step into myself recently.”

Last semester we had to create a project based on our identity for my Composition II class. Most of the examples of identity given to us seemed to relate to other people: friend, child, sibling, etc. and I didn’t want my identity attached to someone else. I steered away from “student” for this reason but don’t !nd myself living up to the ideals from my past. I !nd myself reading over my assignments again and again. My writings provide a feeling of accomplishment, merit. It’s addictive. I think of the writers who drove themselves to insanity--riddled with words--and I !nd myself relating to them. I pour myself into readings and writings and escape myself and step into the role of the “student,” someone who I can present to the world and show my value. But that’s not me. No, I don’t want to excel,

I’ve been trying to learn how to step into myself recently. It entails sitting with my pain and grief and anger. It requires imperfection and acknowledging it. It’s living with a person I don’t particularly like but who I need to take care of. It’s a constant !ght. If I make the wrong move, all I’ve learned falls to the wayside; I end up leaning into old habits more often than I would prefer. Do you know what that’s like? Why does it feel like I’m the only one with too many papers to juggle? Maybe I’m too busy juggling to see everyone else doing it too. My physical therapy exercises quickly became a disorganized mess. It took me until the fourth physical therapist to realize I wasn’t supposed to do all the exercises they gave me. Instead, I’m supposed to do the exercises which help my body based on the day. The problem with this is: I never know what my body needs. I started to think I was the problem. There had to be something wrong with me to explain why this wasn’t working. I couldn’t learn health. Maybe the standard model isn’t for me; maybe my brain is far too scattered to keep up with a routine; maybe I’m not trying hard enough. Maybe that’s why I can’t connect with myself because this body is both the solution and the cause. My way out and also my prison.

I !ght my contradictions daily. I say I’m better at writing because I regret my words a minute after I say them. I am at war with my body and I’m searching for a peace treaty. I catch the flu. I have to go to this meeting. I sob in child’s pose one morning. I feel my muscles get weak from illness. I have

to do my dishes. I have an essay due. I start losing my ability to walk again. I want to go to class. I have to take out recycling. Breathing gets di!cult; I can’t wear a mask. I want to go to class. I have to get my prescription. I can’t get sick again. I want to go to class. Pushing myself through work is grueling, I’m in so much pain. I have to do my dishes. I want to go to class. The club I helped start was a success! I forget to eat. I want to go to class. My pain causes me to go on a leave of absence at work. I’m given a survey of all my symptoms over the last few monthshow do people keep track of this? When was the last time I peed? How am I supposed to afford an anti-inflammatory diet? I want to go to class. Am I the abnormal one? I have to clean my room. I want to go to class. I spend most of the first club meeting on the floor. Too tired to think. I want to go to class. I google ADHD evaluation near me. My heart palpitations start again. I have to make myself dinner. I don’t know what’s “doctor approved” to eat; nothing feels safe. I want to go to class. Why is it so hard to stretch my hip flexor? I am so tired. Why do I want to go to class?

I decided to attend this semester part-time because I find joy from being on campus. Virtual school isn’t the same and I also find myself procrastinating a lot more when I don’t have the physical school environment. It’s a psychological thing, I’m sure. I would be naïve to not acknowledge the wonderful escape learning has granted me; it’s a gift I am so glad to have. Still, it’s hard on me, and it isn’t getting any easier. Walking hurts, sitting hurts, standing hurts, living hurts. People’s perception of me causes me to undergo pain frequently. I sit too long, avoid the gym, or avoid laying down because I’m scared of what you will think. I’m not even exactly sure what you’ll think. It’s the knowing it’s being thought which gets me. Maybe what I fear most of all is: I won’t get better; I will never be able to fit the way I used to. My disability will progress, and doctors can’t or won’t help me. I will never dance again; I ache to dance. Full body dancing, the kind which you can feel in your legs the next day. I know this is an inherently privileged thing to fear as I still have so much mobility. I just wish I lived on less of a tightrope of what my future will look like in terms of

it. I know lying on the ground doesn’t inherently say anything about me, however, it makes me feel like I’m showing the world a weakness. Under all these words, under all this constant analysis, observations, and problem solving is just a student in pain. Someone who needs to lie down after every class, whose words can crumble with too long of a migraine. Whose understanding of their situation can’t change it. I’m sure you can relate.

“Maybe I’m not okay. So many things have made it so complicated to be “okay.””

When security approached me while I was lying outside, he asked if I was okay. I said yes. He said, “Are you sure?” and my knee jerk reaction was to be upset. Shouldn’t I be the person to know if I’m okay? Maybe I’m not okay. So many things have made it so complicated to be “okay.” Maybe this doesn’t make me dumb; having all the puzzle pieces doesn’t mean the puzzle is put together. It takes time. Maybe the next piece is to fall apart, leave the actor onstage, and be flawed. I think my flaws peek through anyways, I just stuff them back in and hope no one sees, although I know they do. Is it better to have them on display or hanging out of my pocket? I want to wrap this essay into a bow; it’s almost imperative I do. I’m not sure I can. I’m not sure I can say the things I’m going to try next are going to work. I can’t tell you the things I’ve compiled, the knowledge I have will help me. But I have this letter. Another symptom of my delirium. I’m pretty damn proud of it. And I hope you are too.

Much Love, Emery

A Social Disaster

By Sarah Ryan

Social media has grown tremendously in the last decade, as citizens all around the globe are spending their lives through their cell phones. The world has started to rely on social media for marketing ads, to buy clothes, to contact others, and even to create/share your identity.

Social media apps like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, are all used to show who that person is and what they do in their life. People post them at the beach, playing with their kids, cooking dinner, and so much more.

#Although this is great to see what friends are up to, it's also affecting the way we communicate with others. We don't reach out to make plans as much, and we stop having in person conversations, because our life revolves around cell phones.

Petroc Taylor did a study in 2019 to see how many 18 year olds were on their cell phones at their everyday family dinner. The study came out to be 25.6 percent of people in the United States use cell phones or tablets during dinner with their families.

Our lives have started to be on our phones. It's where we see updates and what people we know are doing that day, or we post something we are up to. But most of the time what you see on social media could be fake, and we just don't know it. People can make their life look so entertaining when really they could be about to lose their house,going through a divorce, or they just got cheated on. So many real things are not posted on social media.

Untitled By Gadiel Valdes

She was stronger than me, and quicker. At the time, I was drowning myself in the wonders of the world, substances that were rejected by the soul and deteriorating my body. I think she knew that. That’s why she would let me catch up to her at times, but I could never reach her. She was always close to my clasp but never in it.

She had a long oval face, her skin was dark, and you could tell she had been bathing in sunlight all day. Her nose was curved and perky, her cheeks overwhelmed her face, and her eyes were so deep you could get lost in them. Her appearance was steadfast, but not enough to overwhelm her brown irises and her affectionate personality. But I could never read her, nor what was on her mind.

She was better than me at everything really: good grades, good personality, good awareness, great athleticism, funny jokes, I envied her. I was the complete opposite; we were like ice and hot water. Our chemistry was something that would have never existed. And yet, I was infatuated.

“Her face covered the sun and the sunlight sifted through her soft brown curly hair. She looked like an angel to me.”

That day when she outran me, and my dying lungs had been filled to their limit, when I laid on the turf that summer with sweat trickling down my neck, she came back to me. Her face covered the sun and the sunlight sifted through her soft brown curly hair. She looked like an angel to me. To her I probably looked like an anorexic druggie. But we became friends, good ones for a time.

Our mutual friendships had had us separated, but our relationship started growing from time to time from when we would occasionally meet. I would rarely see her, though. When I did, we would find a place to sit, and the world stopped its spinning. I can vaguely remember her smile. She was good at it, smiling. She was good at lying too, to herself. As someone who knew how to hate oneself, I could see her personality crack and watch as her sorrow bled through her. I think she knew that I knew how sad she was. And so for a while she kept a good distance from me. But I cared for her, more than I did myself.

One night, we had managed to see each other at a party from a friend we knew. And I knew to stay away; my mind was at its limit, but I kept it hidden like always. I was leaning towards a window, where I could see the night sky, and I stood there for a while, enjoying my solitude. Until I wasn’t, and she was right next to me, watching the sky as I was. It had been a while since we last talked, and so we did.

We spoke about things we were too afraid to say to each other And I learned that while I was drowning in my

more time for someone who had wrestled with himselftial. I had confused her loving kindness with fear of not being loved, so I tried reaching out to kiss her, but she

I guess she knew that I was lying to myself, that I was masking my detriment and latching onto her for some sense of attachment. She was smarter than me. B eing around her meant I was always learning something new about myself. And I learned how similar we were, and

“She was smar ter than me. B eing around her meant I was always

learning s omething ne w ab out mys elf.”

I was saved, and my body felt lighter, and I knew I would never see her again. I am now in community college; she is in a private school in Pennsylvania.

Sitting With Myself

By Robin Gilmore

Not sure exactly when it began for me these last two years. Some might look at it as burnout, or a part of it was the weaning off of the things that made my mind and body hurt so much. I would probably say it was most likely the letting go of things that kept me in the hamster wheel of surviving. All this added up to the fact that my life was not working for me. I was angry, emotionally drained, constantly trying to keep up financially, pushing myself to keep up with the standards that I set for myself, setting the bar way too high, making myself solely responsible for making it all work in everybody’s favor.

I felt unsupported, unheard, disliked and underappreciated. I also felt physically sick, lost weight, had high blood pressure, a racing heart, and was sweating all the time. There was nothing left but to let it all go. To take care of myself first. And so I did. The decision took some time, because to accept I could no longer do it all, made me question if I was a failure.

I have spent the last year and a half sitting with my parts in all of that pain and frustration. What was my part? What was theirs? What was I unable to communicate to be heard? So I sat with myself… a lot. At first I felt like I was floating. My scalp and brain felt like effervescent bubbles just rising and rising. I felt relief that I was not repeating the same patterns over and over. I felt safe again.

I felt excited by my next steps to begin a new story, and yet hesitant because I had no idea of which direction I wanted to go. So next, I decided I would sit in the waiting room of my mind and see where it takes me. Doctor visits every month from August to present day showed there were some health issues that had to be worked through. My mental health was the most difficult to work through.

In the winter I fell into a very deep and dark depression after experiencing a dissociative episode. The episode left me feeling frightened that I was not in my own body or mind in a certain period of time I only partially remember. That hit me very hard. My self talk was horrible. I held no compassion for my mistakes or choices. My critical judgements were close to killing me, and the very core of my being could not be saved. I wanted to die and came so close until… I jumped out of my bed and headed straight to my art table.

I had not used it in a very long time. I thought I would be making art all the time but had not made any in almost a year. And then I was at the art table creating these micro miniature works of art. I painted small watercolors, and then, once dry, I began to explore the shapes, forms and colors with graphite pencil while viewing them with magnifying eyewear. This took me to a deep, deep level, a closer inspection of my soul. It became intuitive, it became stories through images I was creating. My mind began to change. The synapses began to spark, and I felt better. I felt engaged with living. I had to do something to change the direction my life was heading and this was a positive direction.

Art may have and probably always has saved me. Sitting with myself has been a growing experience, although time away from the world has been somewhat lonely. Yet I was never really alone. I was bored a lot, yet I created a garden. I made amazing meals; I took photographs of my everyday life. There was always an artist working inside of me.

METHAMPHETAMINE From Medicinal Wonder to Social Menace

By Kat Sorrentino

Methamphetamine is a potent stimulant with a deeply unsettling and multifaceted history. What began as a promising pharmaceutical innovation evolved into a substance that not only fueled military campaigns but was also once prescribed to children. Over time, it became enmeshed in public health crises and criminal enterprises, even surfacing in global financial systems through money laundering. This essay explores the evolution of methamphetamine—from its early medicinal use to

flowers, and symbolic headbands (Zócalo Public Square, 2021). After the war, leftover Philopon leaked into the civilian market, setting off a wave of addiction across Japan (Courtwright, 2001). The long-term fallout was devastating: Japan saw a sharp increase in psychiatric hospitalizations and violent crime directly linked to methamphetamine abuse (Meleis, 2020).

“Adolf Hitler received frequent injections of methamphetamine and other stimulants from his personal physician”

its military applications, its connection to ADHD treatments like Adderall and Ritalin, and the seri ous mental health and societal risks tied to its use and withdrawal.

The drug’s origin dates back to 1893, when Japanese chemist Nagai Nagayoshi first synthesized it from ephedrine. A few decades later, in 1919, Akira Ogata refined it into a crystalline form using phosphorus and iodine, producing a version that was both more powerful and easier to consume (Meleis, 2020). During World War II, Japan be gan distributing methamphetamine—then known as Philopon—to soldiers, pilots, and laborers. It was intended to boost endurance and sharpen focus. Kamikaze pilots, in particular, were admin istered high doses before their missions. These rituals often included the consumption of pep pills, dubbed Totsugeki-Jo or “storming tablets,” which combined meth with green tea powder and were adorned with the imperial crest. These send offs were ceremonial affairs, complete with sake,

Meanwhile in Nazi Germany, methamphetamine was sold under the brand name Pervitin. Initially available over the counter, it quickly gained notoriety for its role in enabling German troops to sustain long periods of combat during the Blitzkrieg. The stimulant allowed soldiers to march for days without rest, but the effects were short-lived. After about four days of use,

ioral disorders—what we now recognize as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Though rarely used today due to its high potential for abuse, methamphetamine hydrochloride is still legally prescribed under the brand name Desoxyn (U.S. Food & Drug Administration [FDA], 2021). However, its inclusion in psychiatric treatment was not without harm. Throughout the mid-20th century, lax regulations and aggressive pharmaceutical marketing led to widespread mis use and dependency, particularly among women and children (Court wright, 2001).

Modern ADHD treatments like Adderall (a mixture of amphetamine salts) and Ritalin (methylphenidate) have largely re placed methamphetamine in clin ical settings. Although structurally different, these medications function similarly by stimulating dopamine and nor epinephrine activity in the brain to improve attention and focus (Lakhan & Kirchgessner, 2012). While effective when taken as prescribed, these drugs can be dangerous when misused. High doses can mimic the euphoria and dependency risk of methamphetamine, and chronic misuse has been linked to increased anxiety, insomnia, cardiovascular issues, and even psychosis (Lakhan & Kirchgessner, 2012). The rise of academic and recreational misuse—par-

ticularly among students and professionals—has sparked new public health concerns about long-term effects and access to care.

Research has also shown that methamphetamine use is strongly correlated with violent behavior. Studies suggest that individuals who use methamphetamine are

significantly more likely to engage in aggressive acts, which can result in severe injury or even death. A 2023 study found that trauma patients who tested positive for methamphetamine were more likely to suffer from penetrating injuries, such as gunshot and stab wounds, and had a higher risk of death upon arrival at the hosPMC, 2023). Another study revealed that methamphetamine users were nearly nine times more likely to commit homicide than non-users, indicating a clear link between methamphetamine use and violent tendencies, even when adjusting for other variables such as alcohol consumption and socioeconomic factors (PubMed, ). These findings suggest that methamphetamine does not just alter cognitive functions but can escalate aggression to dangerous levels, with far-reaching consequences for public safety.

Withdrawal from methamphetamine and similar stimulants is another area of serious concern. People coming off these substances often report extreme fatigue, depressive episodes, irritability, and cognitive impairments. Methamphetamine withdrawal, in particular, has been associated with suicidal ideation, paranoia, and violent behavior (Darke et al., 2008). Similar risks have been noted for Adderall and Ritalin withdrawal, especially in individuals who misuse the drugs or have co-occurring mental health disorders (Wilens et al.,

Nagai Nagayoshi

2008). Without proper medical and psychological support, withdrawal can spiral into crisis—affecting not only individuals but also families and communities.

But the damage methamphetamine causes doesn’t stop at personal health. It spills into organized crime and financial systems as well. In 2024, TD Bank became embroiled in a major scandal after admitting to anti-money laundering failures. Investigators discovered that drug traffickers, including those involved in the meth trade, had funneled hundreds of millions of dollars through the bank undetected (Department of Justice [DOJ], 2024). These funds were linked to violent criminal networks and international trafficking operations. The case highlighted how methamphetamine isn’t just a street drug—it’s a multi-billion-dollar industry that fuels corruption, violence, and systemic failure.

“It spills into organized crime and financial systems”

Methamphetamine’s transformation from a scientific breakthrough to a weapon of war, a prescription drug, and ultimately a destructive force in society illustrates the complex dangers of unchecked stimulant use. Even its legal relatives—Adderall and

Ritalin—carry serious risks when misused. The psychological collapse of soldiers, the post-war epidemics of addiction, and the financial corruption tied to trafficking networks reveal just how deep the consequences run. Addressing these challenges requires a multidisciplinary approach—combining insights from medicine, history, law enforcement, and economics.

References

Courtwright, D. T. (2001). Dark history of amphetamines: From medical marvel to social menace. Harvard University Press.

Darke, S., Duflou, J., & Kaye, S. (2008). Methamphetamine use and violence: A review of the literature. Addiction, 103(4), 613620. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1360-0443.2008.02265.x

Department of Justice. (2024). TD Bank linked to international drug trafficking money laundering scheme. https://www.justice. gov/opa/press-release/td-bank-linked-international-drug-trafficking-money-laundering-scheme

FDA. (2021). Desoxyn (methamphetamine hydrochloride) product labeling. U.S. Food and Drug Administration. https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugsatfda_docs/label/2021/011279s053lbl.pdf

Lakhan, S. E., & Kirchgessner, A. (2012). The mental health effects of chronic stimulant use: A review of the literature. The Journal of Addiction Research & Therapy, 3(3), 110-118. https:// doi.org/10.4172/2155-6105.1000110

Meleis, A. I. (2020). The history of methamphetamine in Japan: From wartime use to post-war addiction crisis. Journal of Japanese History, 36(2), 45-59.

Ohler, N. (2017). Blitzed: Drugs in Nazi Germany. Hachette Books.

PMC. (2023). Methamphetamine use and violent trauma: A study on penetrating injuries. PubMed Central. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih. gov/articles/PMC10176051/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

PubMed. (2008). Methamphetamine use and homicide risk: A national case-control study. National Library of Medicine. https:// pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18936516/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Wilens, T. E., Faraone, S. V., & Biederman, J. (2008). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder and substance use disorders: A review of the literature. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 47(1), 9-20. https://doi.org/10.1097/01. chi.0000305713.74558.3e

Zócalo Public Square. (2021). The forgotten history of methamphetamine in Japan. https://www.zocalopublicsquare.org/2021/10/13/methamphetamine-japan-history/

‘Late nights in places that have never been’

2025 Black and White Collection ‘Withdrawal // Graduation’ Jake Killoy

‘Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun’

‘Blur - Song 2’

‘Walking the Cow - Daniel Johnston’

Ct State Guide to the Cannabis INdustry

By Sa’Quan Bolton

TOn July 1,2021, the state ofConnectcut, after years of legislation, became the Ninetieth state that fully legalized recreational marijuana. With this legalization, the cannabis industry, which was already experiencing a boom in economic gains in states like Colorado and Massachusetts, now is presenting new opportunity for both personal and career growth to Ct residents including but not limited to collaborating with various colleges.

In fact, Connecticut Colleges and Universities actively encourage and provide both resources and various opportunities of learning to CT students and non-students alike. As the industry continues to bloom, various postions and needs are constantly changing and evolving resulting in open season for CT dispenseries and Cannabis Education.

Beginning in 2021, numerous colleges from Southern/Eastern Connecticut, UConn, University of New Haven, Naugatuck Valley, now offer courses in both cultivating and production of cannabis which documents cannabis history, various applications of both THC and CBD and its health advantages and disadvantages, while acquiring handson experience conducting with plants before students’ first dispensary job.

LAccording to a 2024 CT Insider article, “Since the fall of 2022, the University of New Haven has partnered with California-based cannabis education company, Green Flower, to offer several types of six-month, online cannabis certification programs, such as product development, business, medical and compliance”

Some of the areas of study include; Introduction to Medical Cannabis, Introduction to the Horticulture of Cannabis, Cannabis Studies Certificate and Cannabis Cultivation and Chemistry For students over the age of 21, there is access to almost all courses available through student dashboards, from there students can search using the student dashboard or by using the CT state website to manually search both start dates and duration of courses.

An important detail is that these courses often lie within the Horticulture and Botany majors, so while students don’t have to switch majors to take these classes and in fact they can elect to have cannabis study as a minor, they can expect to learn about how biology, genetics and environmental and evolution science intersect with the study of cannabis plant cultivation.

Sacred Knowledge

MOnce completed, most courses of study offer authentic state verified CT Cannabis Certificates that will then allow students to apply to medical and recreational dispensaries at intermediate positions, but once students in the field are then well-positioned to ascend through the ranks as students will be provided additional paid training programs for higher positions.

REFERENCES

1. Weiss, Abby. “These CT Universities Are Preparing Students for Jobs In ...” These CT Universities Are Preparing Students for Jobs in the Evolving Cannabis Industry, 17 Apr. 2024, www.ctinsider.com/cannabis/article/ connecticut-college-university-cannabis-job-market-19397681.php.

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While students don’t need a degree or certification to obtain an entry level position at a dispensary, it remains an extremely competitive field that is undergoing constant changes as the state of Connecticut continues to change old and outdated laws as they write new legislation. As a result, most dispensaries on average pay more attention to those who have specialized knowledge, education or experience in the field of cultivating.

bGiven all these changes, not only is it an exciting time in a rapidly evolving industry for the state but students and residents could have a unique chance to grow and enrich their perspectives, along with their educational and personal development.

iss Alyssas Magazine mus e um

By: A. Sterling

Sopranos Montage, 2024

Digitally Drawn

Cowboys Life P1, 2024

A Cowboys Life P2, 2024

and Acrylic

Graphite

Sade Live Poster, 2025

Digitally Drawn

TLX, 2024

Digitally Drawn

Agnosticism, 2024

Acrylic

Camels & Coronas, 2025

Digitally Drawn

The Werth Center For Innovation And Entreprenuer Interview Ft. Dr. Matthew Connell

“We meet students were they are in their ideas and concepts of business. We are happy to sit down and discuss ideas no matter what stage of development or thought the idea is in.”

Dr. Matt Connell comes to us with an extensive background in innovation management, entrepreneurship, and academic leadership. He has started, run and owned numerous businesses. He has served as the undergraduate Director and Assistant Professor in the Ernest C. Trefz School of Business at the University of Bridgeport (UB) and at Goodwin University where he spearheaded the development of a statewide entrepreneurial program which resulted in the creation of over 80 businesses in CT. He also successfully raised over $1m in grant money and created opportunities for students and faculty to engage with cutting-edge ideas and practices.

How would you describe the Werth Center’s mission?

The mission of the Werth Center is to help students/staff/faculty/alumni of the State Community College system learn about various aspects of business; from concepts-business growth and development. We provide resources to support individuals with their business needs and goals from workshops, makerspace, and mentoring, and conversations.

As the new director how are you enjoying the mission so far?

So far I am enjoying being at the Werth Center. I love talking to people about business and helping people create business ideas and expand their business concepts.

What memorable moments have you experienced since leading at the Werth Center? Honestly there have been a few already. I love the daily interactions I have with students and the conversations. On Monday 4/28 we held a statewide elevator Pitch. 20 finalists from 7 campuses. This was a great experience.

Can you tell us about the new facility and what makes it special for students?

The new space is beautiful. It is spacious, has a beautiful section for maker space, a great area for students to come and in work, awesome classroom. It is just a great space!

What new equipment or technology does the Werth Center now offer that wasn’t available before?

We have a new heat and bottle press, new 3d printer, an embroidery machine. The weekly workshops have gained some traction throughout the school.

What topics have stood out the most to students?

We focus these workshops on business concepts. Some that have stood out our the “register your LLC”, the “foundations of Business” and the “marketing and branding”

How do you choose the subjects and speakers for each workshop?

We try to choose subjects that are relevant to small and starting businesses. We look for speakers with experience in these areas.

Can you share a story of a student or project that’s been especially inspiring?

There have been many. There is the student working on taking her artwork and creating an online TV show with her characters. To see her passion and persistence has been awesome. There is the student that creates music and tracks for customers, the student who registered her cleaning business and created the new logo. To work with individuals so passionate about what they are doing is amazing.

What partnerships or collaborations help make these programs possible?

There are many. There are collaborations with faculty and colleagues here at HCC and at the other campuses, there are partnerships

with community programs and partners, as well as partnerships with local businesses. I believe in the concept that “it takes a village” and the Werth Center is no exception! Without our partnerships and collaborations we could not accomplish our goals.

How does the Werth Center support students who are just beginning to explore entrepreneurship?

We meet students were they are in their ideas and concepts of business. We are happy to sit down and discuss ideas no matter what stage of development or thought the idea is in. You do not have to have an active business to participate in the Center and you do not have to guarantee you will be starting or attempting to start a business. You just need to want to have a conversation, and we are happy to talk!

Are there resources for students who already have business ideas or ventures in progress?

Yes, we can assist students who are already in business. Depending on the resources needed we may recommend one of our partners for greater support.

What kind of mentorship is available through the center?

We offer 1-1 mentorship. All someone has to do is email Matthew.Connell@CTstate.edu to set up an appt. The mentorship can focus on anything business related, from business idea to business development. We sit with individuals to help register their businesses, work on milestones and goal setting, to just brainstorming, and marketing strategies.

How do you measure success?

I measure success for the Center in multiple ways. Number of students that walk through the door. Number of students that get support. Number of students that walk away with a better sense of next steps, and of course when a students business becomes sustainable.

Where do you see the Werth Center five years from now?

I see the Center being at the center for innovation and entrepreneurship in the state college system. I see us working closely with all 12 campuses. WIth programs and partnerships that support statewide business development and growth.

Are there any upcoming initiatives or expansions you’re especially excited about?

We are working on a few things. We are trying to create a website that will allow students to list their businesses so potential customers can find them. We are working on creating a entrepreneurial credential that would be a pre-certification to the for credit entrepreneurial program in the course catalog.

How do you envision the Werth Center adapting to changes in the business and startup world?

The world is always changing. The introduction of AI will have a huge impact on business and the Werth Center will need to keep up with this change and make sure to integrate AI concepts into learning.

What do you hope students take away from their time at the Werth Center?

I hope students walk away with a few things; better knowledge of business concepts,

resources to support their business needs, the idea of persistence and reaching out for help when they need. I Hope they take away the fact that we are always here to help and support them.

How does Peter Werth’s legacy influence the work you do every day?

Mr. Werth has built a tremendous business with his company ChemWerth. It took years and persistence to build. I think beyond inspiration his story creates for myself and others, we would not be here were it not for his generosity.

If you could give one piece of advice to a student entrepreneur walking into the center for the first time, what would it be?

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to go it alone. We are here to help!

e Werth Center has workshops like sewing, embroidery, 3d printing, and screenprinting for all those who are interested in using the design space.

CT STATE - HOUSATONIC STUDENT ART SHOW

Design & Photography: Jolita Sanchez Garcia

Writing: Arturo Herrera

On May 5, 2025, CT State Housatonic held its annual student art show with an amazing reception, marvelous cuisine, and live music in the Lafayette Hall Atrium. As always, the art exhibition is a great opportunity to showcase the massive talent of our very own Housatonic students. The celebration of creativity and talent brings a sense of pride and conviviality to our campus community. This year, special jurors Suzann Kachmar and Iyaba Ibo Mandingo carefully selected three winners; Kim Wilson, Rowen Curley and Karly Killoy.

Arturo Herrera - Burger Bear” 2025

Acrylic

Michael Curry Jr. - “Dance Away” 2023

Michael Curry Jr. - “A Short Story” 2022 traditional to digital, framed

Why did you put your work into the show?

I didn’t put work in the previous year year and the more I thought about it, I figured why not.

What inspired your work?

A creative writing assignment

How do you feel about your art work being displayed in the show?

It felt nice having it on display and it was fun to see what people had to say about my work. And I felt accomplished.

Included in this section are interviews with student artists who participated in the event as well as images of the artists with their work. Here’s what they have to say.

Sa’Quan Bolton - “Self-Study: Soul” 2025

Acrylic and metalic acrylic on canvas

Why did you put your work into the show? Simply put for exposure and confidence.

What inspired your work?

I wanted to create a conceptual self study.

How do you feel about your art work being displayed in the show?

Uncanny, feels a little wild but in a good way. Last words, I picked a long horned owl because it represents knowledge, creativity, wisdom, while still being a predator.

Ariella Sanchez - “Bite the Bullet” 2025

Photography

Ariella Sanchez - “Abstract Design 1” 2024

Acrylic on canvas