The Student Magazine of Housatonic Community College
FALL 2022
2
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Editors-in Chief Jasmin Saksene Jarrod Walker
Art and Design Director Manuela Escudero
Horizons Advisor Professor Steve Mark
Assistant Design Director Nina Javier
Staff Writers Samuel Almazan, Kieaundria Bellamy, Izabela Gola, Isiaha Gonzalez, Robin Gudger, Mikayla Harris, Salene Herrera, Tammy Johnson, Ashlee Maignan-Thompson, Natalie Pilla,LaRay Rice, Gillian Tapias Senior Staff Writers Brandon Cortes, Shante Randall, Andreas Savvaides
Design Advisor Professor Andrew Pinto Production Manager: Manuela Escudero Design Staff Aeemay Dabiran Carlos Marin Nina Javier Manuela Escudero Cover & Content Illustration Front Cover by Carlos Marin Back Cover by Aeemay Dabiran
Facebook: Housatonic Horizons Twitter: HCCHorizons
Web Site: http://housatonichorizons.com
3
Staff
Learning Hacks Intro - Professor Steve Mark......................................................................
4
7
Self Care First - Kieaundria Bellamy ..................................................................................... 8 Get Straight A’s - Salene Herrera..........................................................................................
9
Stress Really Doesn’t Go Well- Ashlee Maignan-Thompson............................................ 10 Turn Up the Music - Shante Randall................................................................................. 11 Five Minutes All You Need- Isiaha Gonzalez................................................................. 12 Best School Hack- Andreas Saavides......................................................................... 13
Profiles
Learning Life
Hacks
Illustration by Aeemay Dabiran
Journey toward Rediscovery and Reflection - Salene Herrera................................. 14 Work Life Balance - Kieaundria Bellamy..................................................................... 15 American Dream. - Samuel Almazan............................................................................ 16
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Two Powerful Platforms for Success- Jasmin Saksene ................................................. 18 Overuse of Hand Sanitizer - Shante Randall.................................................................. 20
News
Campus Advocates- Salene Herrera ............................................................................... 22 Equity for Everyone - Jarrod Walker ............................................................................... 24 Online Tutoring for Non-Native Speakers- Gillian Tapias ............................................. 25 The Sound Coming to Our Sound- Andreas Savvaides ............................................... 26
To Women Everywhere - Kadeija Bond................................................................ 31
Signs and Seeking Help - Salene Herrera......................................................................... 32 Anxiety Low - Tamara Johnson .......................................................................................... 33 Undecided Students - Gillian Tapias.................................................................................. 35 Preparing for a New World - Jarrod Walker ....................................................................
Personal Ess
ays
News You Ca
n Use
Poem
Commit to a Smooth Path - Jasmin Saksene ................................................................. 28
36
Void Inside Me - Brandon Cortes................................................................................... 38 Shattering Security Bubble - Jasmin Saksene............................................................
40
My Rising Story - Andreas Saavides ...........................................................................
42
How to Actually Love Yourself - Jarrod Walker............................................................ 43 Found My Mountain Top - Shante Randall................................................................... 45 Student Art Exhibition....................................................................................................
5
47
Table of Contents
Illustration by Aeemay Dabiran
6
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Illustration by Aeemay Dabiran
Our Learning “Life Hacks” By Professor Steve Mark
“L
ife hacks” are tips, techniques, or short cuts that are simple to implement, yet can have a meaningful impact on improving our lives. For this section of the magazine, Horizons staff wrote about simple, short life hacks they’ve used to make learning easier, increase productivity or focus, or maintain health and wellness while they are going to school.
Learning Hacks
7
Self-Care First
By Kiaundria Bellamy
A
Staff Writer
s many of us know, school can be stressful. The typical
schedule for some students includes a class, or even
classes, a 9-5 work schedule, and family and/or kids. In addition, we are all dealing with a global pandemic and making sure that
we always remain healthy. Whether you are a part-time or fulltime student going through everyday life, it becomes very easy to neglect your mental and physical being. To become a better learner and person, my biggest life hack is practicing self-care.
The great thing about practicing self-care is the fact that it can
be anything you want it to be. Self-care can be reading, going
for a walk, indulging in your favorite food, watching a movie, or simply taking a nap. There are many times a person can become
so caught up in a hectic schedule where we forget to nourish our mind, body, and soul with the things we love. Practicing self-
care will help you create a healthy work and life balance and not become burned out.
Showing up for myself, however I can help me remember to
give myself grace, have patience within myself, and to cater to
my mental health as much as I can. Life should not be too hard. Do not forget to take care of yourself before working on it so much.
8
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Get Straight A’s in All of Your Classes with Three Simple Steps T
he beginning of a school semester can
seem daunting. The syllabus, assignments,
By Salene Herrera
Staff Writer
readings, and lectures all pile up simultaneously. It is easy to become overwhelmed with stress and feelings of disorganization. Luckily, there is
one simple, extremely effective life hack to help eliminate stress and increase productivity.
An academic planner is one of the easiest, most
effective ways to keep track of assignments in an organized manner. While there are several online alternatives to a physical planner, buying one to write in is the best way to go. Writing down assignments helps in the memorization of
them, and it allows you to go through the list and
Illustration by Carlos Marin
mark off what you have done and what you have left.
you complete it. This will show you what you’ve
Step one, buy yourself a planner. They vary in
completed, and what assignments are remaining.
are several low-priced options. Find one that fits
all your work is directly in front of you, and you do
tend to be less decorative than high-priced ones.
you have left to complete.
price and can sometimes be costly, but there
This can prevent feelings of disorganization when
your budget and purchase it. Low-cost planners
not have to go through all your courses to see what
Step two, separating each course, write down all
Stress and disorganization can make starting a
your assignments for the week in order from the
new semester feel impossible. Thinking ahead
have a monthly overview page that is best for
increases productivity and performance while
ideal for writing down each assignment.
when you begin a new semester.
nearest due date to the furthest. Most planners
and getting a planner to map out your academics
due dates, and weekly overview pages that are
helping to decrease the overwhelming feeling
Step three, check off each assignment as
Learning Hacks
9
Stress Really Doesn’t Go Well With My Outfit By Ashlee Maignan-Thompson
Staff Writer
F
orgetful? Have a foggy brain like me? Feel like you don’t have
enough time? Need to stay on top of your assignments? Wish it
were easier?
I have a personal life hack that is helping me keep up with
assignments and other obligations. It’s definitely brought me
more clarity. This is for those who tend to lose track of time, their
obligations, or get stressed out easily. Just grab your mobile device. Lately, the Reminders app with the combination of Blackboard has
been helping me prepare for and stay aware of assignments. For
this part, I recommend hopping on Blackboard (computer/ desktop or even mobile) to access your syllabuses. Go to the Reminders app
that is available on iPhone. Press the “+” at the bottom left. Next, you're going to type in the title of the reminder/ assignment(s) that will be due next . There is a calendar icon that will be above
your keyboard when you are typing in the title of your reminder/ assignment. Click that. There is going to be a pop up that gives you
a date and time option. Click that. Evaluate what’s been assigned
with other weekly obligations. I normally schedule my reminder for a day or two before the due date and put the reminder on repeat
for everyday. I do that as many times as needed for each class assignment.
If you are a bit lazy, it wouldn’t even hurt to type in even a
vague reminder title like, “Assignments Due Soon for Class xyz”. This reduces the need for planners, and routinely penciling in assignments.
Illustration by Carlos Marin
10
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Turn Up the Music, Speed Up the Assignment! By Shante Randall
Senior Staff Writer
A
re you someone who has difficulty staying still while trying to complete your course
work? Or do you like to complete your task without stopping? Music is a big hack when it comes to effectively completing assignments
on time. Your computer and phone are right in your lap and hands.
your laptop or phone for a good one. It works for me. Your body will become relaxed, and the
brain fog is cleared. Now you’ll be prepared to surge that assignment to your professor’s posting board or desk!
Music is one of the most versatile tools we
can use to cope, relieve stress and anxieties, and to help motivate us. It stimulates chemicals in the brain, which can trigger emotions. We
want to release the positive emotions, to succeed. Music that is soothing, energizing, or inspirational can get us in that ready to attack anything mindset.
Some people are unsuccessful in school
because
they
have
difficulties
with
concentration and being stationary. This often interferes with completing and turning in assignments. If this applies to you, playing some light music while working helps a lot of
people. Music releases body tension. You will gain more brain control. Your focus will shift
Many of us have jobs, appointments, and
daily tasks. We can’t lose a single moment in
our studies. We must make the deadlines. It’s stressful.
from body movement to the task at hand.
This is a time effective, accessible, and cost-
free hack. If you have a laptop, phone, Smart TV, or YouTube you are ready to fly. If you
Some of you may like to go straight through.
You can do this, but remember not to overexert yourself. For example, if you only have 5 minutes to spare, that’s great! An average
song is 3 to 5 minutes. Just stop and search
haven’t tried this yet, I’d give it a try. With more
concentration and time, the more possibilities
you have of receiving a better grade. You may never be late with turning in your class assignment again!
Illustration by Carlos Marin
Learning Hacks
11
Five Minutes are All You Need to Keep Your Work on Track By Isiaha Gonzalez
Staff Writer
S
o I have been struggling to focus on homework lately (especially with so much of school being at home now) and have begun looking around for techniques to try and help me maintain focus. Eventually I found
this article about some kind of “pomodoro technique” and it was practically life changing. As someone who gets distracted far too easily, this technique works, and I know for a fact you other students out there are struggling too. The article and the technique are both very short but very effective. It won’t take up too much of your time to at least try.
The Pomodoro Technique is a time management system that encourages people to work with the time they
have as well as encourage breaks, rather than be against it.
This method is very simple. You break your work time into 25-minute chunks separated by five-minute breaks,
work for 25 minutes nonstop, set a timer if needed, then once that is up, take a 5-minute break however you’d
like, no more, no less, then work for 25 more minutes and repeat. After about four pomodoros, you take a longer break of about 15 to 20 minutes.
The idea behind this technique is to provide a small sense of urgency, giving a more productive mindset. Rather
than thinking “I have all day to complete this,” which results in you procrastinating, you instead think “I wanna
get as much done as I can in these 25 minutes,” which keeps you on track due to the short time frame without
stressing you out. Additionally, the forced breaks in between serve to help prevent any sort of burn out while giving you enough of a breather for your next 25-minute pomodoro.
Most students that we asked that have tried the technique have exclaimed how well it works for them, so try it
out yourself next time you find your mind wandering from the pencil.
12
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Best School Hack By Andreas Saavides Staff Writter
A
main problem that many students deal with in their lives is distraction. Being unable to focus and come up with adequate work at a specific due date has
always been an issue for young adults especially. As it may come with its perks, social media is what we need to cut down on in order to achieve not only balanced school values, but also a better lifestyle overall.
TikTok, Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, and Snapchat are all platforms that have
the capability to turn a five-minute break into a two-hour rabbit hole. All of them
are specifically designed to encourage us to spend as much time on our screens as possible.
This is not an anti-social media post; it is just a simple answer to an issue that we
all face when we are trying to accomplish our educational goals. If you want to stay focused and complete your work to the best of your ability, Stay Off Social Media!
Illustration by Carlos Marin
Learning Hacks
13
A Cross Country Journey toward Rediscovery and Reflection
By Salene Herrera
Staff Writer
Traveling across 21 states in 30 days was no easy task and Boynton admitted to feeling lonely at times, as it was only her with her thoughts as she navigated who she wanted to be. Despite this, there was a space created for her to hear the stories of women who struggle with various issues such as racial struggles, poverty, and voting rights.
21
Cross-country road trip. Photo by GeoJango Maps on Unsplash
states, 30 days, and a feminist journey toward self-discovery: Cindy Wolfe Boynton, adjunct professor at Housatonic, traveled across the United States as she grappled with the loss of her mother and her identity. “One of the lowest points in my career was when my mom died,” Boynton says, as she recalls the spring semester of 2019 when her mother passed away. As an only child of two parents who both suffered from illness, Boynton took on the role of caretaker for her parents. “ I took care of them and my mother and I had a very difficult relationship,” Boynton recalls. “We probably loved and hated each other with equal measure.” After the passing of her mother, Boynton says, “ I truly believed that when my mother died I would have this tremendous sense of relief, even though I would be devastated she was dead…I mean it was hard taking care of my mom, it was like a full-time job.” Boynton was a constant support to her mother in terms of her care, and this was something she did all the time. Despite her belief that her mother’s death might grant her freedom she hadn’t had before, Boynton said, “ Instead of feeling that sense of relief when she died. I felt lost.” This feeling of not knowing herself without her mother was debilitating. Boynton felt she was not doing good as a writer, a teacher, and even as a mother. Despite this, Boynton decided to take a solo cross-country trip across the United States, going to locations with strong feminists from the past.
14
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Hearing about the various struggles that these women were facing put a lot into perspective for Boynton: “ It was pretty incredible and as devastating as my problems felt to me at that time, I learned that there were people who went through so much more than I did, and all along the way I picked up little bits and pieces that helped me put myself back together.”
“I learned that there were people who went through so much more than I did, and all along the way I picked up little bits and pieces that helped me put myself back together.” This trip allowed Bonyton to find a more defined focus on what she wanted to do. “One of the things I realized was that I wanted to focus the rest of the work I was going to do in my lifetime, on not just telling the stories of other women but telling them stories of women in a way that when other women read their stories, they wouldn’t feel so alone, that they also would learn from these women’s lives and what they had overcome,” she says. The loss of her mother led to the discovery of what Boynton truly wanted out of life, and who she truly was. Though the journey was not simple, Boynton remains clear on her path because she still prioritizes what fulfills her and she offers one simple strategy. “We need to do some reflection on what we really want to be spending our time on. What are my gifts and talents? What are the things that I love to do, not just that I’m good at? And how can I use those gifts and talents in a way that’s going to be meaningful for me,” she says.
PROFILES
Creating a Work Life Balance By Kieaundria Bellamy
Staff Writer
T
hroughout our journey through college, we’ll cross paths with many individuals. The most fascinating thing about meeting someone new is discovering their personal story. For many students, it is more than common to have a full time job while attending classes, while there are other students who are full time parents and full time students. In the college journey of Charlese Jarvis, Housatonic Community College alumna, she was a full time student, full time worker, and a full time business owner. To most, this may seem impossible. But, she overcame many challenges and still obtained her degree. Jarvis was a small business management major at HCC. She works for St. Vincent Hospital as a chief, and has her own catering business. Through it all, there were many high and low roads. During this time, she became stagnant and didn't know what to choose: her education, or her career. “There were numerous times where I wanted to quit,” Jarivs said, “but I knew the bigger picture. I knew that I saw more within my career and it took a lot for me to persevere.” Jarvis explained how her grades began to slip because she wanted to go out more, but suddenly grasped the bigger picture. “There were times where I had to miss out on fun activities with my friends because of the amount of goals I had to accomplish,” she added. “I knew that fun was always going to be in the picture. However, when you want your degree, you have to pay for school, and you still want to maintain a catering business. It's mandatory to get tunnel vision and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.” Although Jarvis now has her degree and a successful catering business, she often reflects on the times where people doubted her and the loss of friendships because she put herself first. “In this generation, people tend to put the parties first,” Jarvis said. “I want people
who are reading this to know that when you are in the process of achieving your goals, it may become lonely. The biggest things that helped me succeed were my family, the friends who pushed me to do better and never allowed me to fall, not focusing on the growth of others on social media, and having an organized schedule. My planner is my best friend!” As a college student, having an organized schedule, planning ahead, and letting no distractions in your life can get you far in your career; Jarvis is a prime example. Things can get hard, but it is important to focus on your future, without burning yourself out.
“There were numerous times where I wanted to quit,’ Jarivs said, ‘but I knew the bigger picture. I knew that I saw more within my career and it took a lot for me to persevere.” “Focus on your mental health before anything,” Jarvis said. “I believe that people get into the glory of working on multiple things at once, not realizing that burnout is real. The key is to have tangible goals set and organized so that you are not stressing about what’s to come next. There is so much in store for the people reading this, and I want to reassure them to never give up.” With entrepreneurship and having a full time job within your career interest being on the rise, this is the perfect time to become an organized person, and to not neglect your mental health. As Jarvis said, people may come and go during your college journey, but when you are focused on the end goal, only good can come out. You’ve got this!
Profiles 15
The American Dream
By Samuel Almazan
W
hat does “living the American dream”mean? Well, the Webster dictionary definition and meaning of it is “the belief that anyone, regardless of where they were born or what class they were born into, can attain their own version of success in a society in which upward mobility is possible for everyone.” No matter how many times you “fall” or “fail”, you can always get back up and succeed! Aylin Mendoza is an example of living that “American Dream.” She is a current student at HCC and is graduating this spring! She’s graduating as a teacher, something that she has the passion to do. Her goal is to become a teacher who can help inspire the future generation. And now that she is finally going to get that opportunity to accomplish her goals, it's a good time to reflect on her journey, which wasn’t as smooth as she thought it was going to be. “I’m happy to say that I’m close to accomplishing my goals, one step at a time,” Mendoza said. When she graduated from high school back in 2016, she was still confused on what she wanted to do with her life. She knew she wanted to continue her education, but that was going to be a hard task. With no financial help, she started to doubt if going to school was worth it. When Mendoza finally decided she was going to put herself through school, she had no idea what career to follow. She attended HCC that same fall, but without any real idea on what she was going to do. She ended up being a General Studies major, still trying to figure out what path she was going to take. In high school, she studied to be a hairdresser and had even gotten herself a license in that area. But, she didn’t have the passion to continue that career. That's what she was looking for, a career that she had the passion for. Don’t
16
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Staff Writer
we all want that? Towards the end of her first semester, she finally decided on what she wanted to do with her life. She wanted to become a teacher. “I’ve always had the passion of working with kids, and once I took that first childhood class, I was immediately hooked. I knew this was the career for me,” she said. That following spring semester, she enrolled in all the classes she needed to graduate. And since she was paying for classes out of pocket, she wasn’t able to take all the classes she wanted. There were times where she could only take two classes a semester, or even one class. But she was determined to complete her goal, no matter how long it would take her. But things seem to be going good for her, she was on the right path towards achieving her goal. “I remember telling myself that, no matter what happens, I will accomplish the goal I set out for myself,” she added. Her goal wasn’t just important to her, but to her family. Mendoza is the first generation of her family to grow up and live in America. So, becoming the first one to go to college was already an accomplishment itself, but she knew that she could do more. Graduating college would be the icing on the cake for her. As she started to see the finish line, COVID happened. This set her back, to the point where she didn’t know if she should continue school. “My classes got canceled, the ones where I needed to complete to graduate. I was on course to complete my degree by the fall semester of 2020. And with COVID, it pushed that finish line back. I felt discouraged to continue…”
No matter how many times you “fall” or “fail”, you can always get back up and succeed! Photo by Isabella and Zsa Fischer on Unsplash
But Mendoza remembered the sacrifice her family made, leaving their country so she could further her education. Yes, COVID did push her finish line back, but she wasn’t going to give up. She enrolled in as many classes as she could to reach her goal. She worked those extra hours to afford all of it. Like she said, nothing was going to stop her. She was able to get back up, and fight! Today, she is two months away from walking on that stage. It was a long and bumpy road to get where she is now. “I made it,” she said. “It was a really hard and financially tough journey. There were a lot of days where I thought this day would never come. But I made it. I'm proud of myself. And to people who are out there who think they can’t do it, just know that even if it's a little step, you’re still getting somewhere.”
Profiles 17
News
T
Two Powerful Platforms to Help You Succeed in Your Job Search
hrough the pandemic, students may have felt isolated
and wondered how they can prepare for the uncertain
future. Yet you have the ability right at your fingertips to
By Jasmin Saksene
explore your interests and be prepared. Take action now
Editor
and reap the benefits of the College Central Network and Big Interview platforms that are available to all students.
These two platforms are awaiting students. They offer
different types of opportunities that students are able to utilize throughout their college careers. If students are struggling to find a job or want to explore what kinds of
positions their major has to offer, College Central Network is the right place for them.
“The College Central Network platform is our online
job board. Students have access to part-time, full-time, volunteer, on-campus, and internship opportunities.
Employers post positions for students to apply directly. The platform also has sample resumes, portfolio modules, and a calendar of upcoming career services events,”
Anisha Thomas, the Director of Career Services at HCC,
said. While another platform that can be overlooked is
one that teaches students how to approach interviews. Big Interview can help them succeed and give an idea of how individuals should prepare for specific careers.
“Big Interview is our practice interview software. It is an
online interview training system with video tutorials and
virtual interview practice modules by industry and sectors. This allows students to practice interview questions for their specific areas such as healthcare, IT, education, and business, as well as other sectors,” Thomas explained.
It is simple to register and make accounts. Thomas
18
HORIZONS Fall 2022
emphasized that your banner ID is used for CCN, while Big Interview requires your college email to register.
These platforms provide a way to get a job without
physically going out and searching for it and also a convenient way to improve your skills. The
CCN platform is consistently updated with new opportunities.
“I enter new jobs on CCN for students to apply for
and I verify when a student goes on to register. Then I check to make sure that they are a registered student
or alumni. Once approved they get an email saying
that they can now use the platform to look for jobs. I try to keep job positions within the area, and there
are a lot of part-time jobs,” Patricia McDonnell, the secretary for Career Services, said.
Some individuals may be lost with the direction they
want to go in and feel like they need some guidance;
this can give them much more clarity. In a major
slump heightened by anxiety, I decided to give these platforms a chance.
You can use these platforms to assist in the future of your career and enter an interview as confident as ever after practicing. Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash
I chose the journalism/communications major and
Along with these platforms, the Career Services
searched for jobs relating to that. One that interested me
Center offers the help students need. “We offer in-
the information that students need to know as well as the
can come in and receive directions on how to
was a temporary paralegal position which included all requirements. CCN even has articles and podcasts with advice for various topics like how to write a resume.
Big Interview gave an array of videos to learn from. I even
got to record videos of my answers, save them, and submit
person, Web Ex, and phone appointments. Students
navigate the platforms and they can also explore by going on our webpage on the Housatonic website,” McDonnell said.
These platforms can be a stepping stone in the
them for feedback. There are different levels to select,
future of many students and build confidence in
most important information they need to know during the
accessed by going to the “Career Services” page on
such as the “Fast Track” course, giving students tips on the interview process.
Individuals who may be doubtful can be comforted by
various students who have taken advantage of these platforms. “We always hear from students that they have
succeeding. They are always available and can be
HCC’s website under the “Resources and Offices” tab. Then by clicking on the “Students” link and scrolling to the bottom of that page.
Students that feel immense pressure thinking
had positive experiences. The Big Interview platform has
about their future can benefit and be aware of what
resulted in job offers for students. Students find using the
platforms as soon as possible. There is a lot of great
prepared them to be successful in interviewing which has
College Central Network beneficial for connecting them to open positions in the Fairfield and New Haven county areas,” Thomas said.
to expect. “I advise students to begin using the
information on both platforms which students can
use at their own pace and throughout their career planning,” McDonnell added.
News 19
The Overuse of Hand Sanitizer Can Lead to an Uncontrollable “Superbug” Invasion
By Shante Randall
W
Senior Staff Writer
e all remember the unpredictable rise of the COVID Pandemic in 2020. The famous public
solution to this was: wash your hands with soap and water, use hand sanitizer ALL THE TIME, keep your
distance, and you will be safe! Really? It is 2022, and COVID still exists.
HCC’s Professor of Biology and Dean of Academic
Affairs, Robin Avant, describes the concept of this
type of resistance as microbial resistance. According to Avant’s knowledge from the CDC, she says, “Germs
(bacteria, viruses, and fungi) evolve overtime to combat common or overly used drugs or cleaners, so that they
When we enter Lafayette and Beacon Hall, the hand
are no longer killed by these reagents.” You can say these
checkpoint upon entry. Hand sanitizer is the new
the overuse of hand sanitizer and certain cleaners. That
in public. Sometimes we panic when we forget to do so.
at risk.
sanitizer station has become our famous hand cleansing
bacteria have developed a defense mechanism against
passport that must be used before touching anything
is their way of fighting to live on, while putting our health
Beginning in 2020, the news instructed every
Therefore, when hand sanitizer was invented years
household and public facility to keep a stock of hand
before COVID, the media said it is essential to use soap
flew up high. With the obsessiveness of its usage, so did
of Microbiology, Sandra Barnes, agrees. She feels it is
sanitizer. As a result of supply and demand, the price
and water first, when it is accessible. HCC’s Professor
the “superbugs”!
ALWAYS best to wash your hands with soap and water.
What are “superbugs’’? According to Health Harvard.
Barnes
encourages
us
to
consider
the
actual
edu, Harvard Professor of Medicine, Dr. David Hooper,
effectiveness of hand sanitizer as well. She says, “Think
develop antibiotic resistance. Meaning, if you were ever
hands.” She asks us, “Do you remove anything?” Her
says “superbugs” is a slang term for bacteria that can
about what you are doing when you “sanitize” your
to contract an illness from a “superbug”, you are at high
answer was simply no.
risk for the antibiotics you are prescribed to be incapable
of killing the bacteria. Instead, “superbugs” can kill the antibiotics that are our treatment for getting well. They
are very contagious as well. This includes illnesses such as MRSA, which can be deadly.
20
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Barnes feels hand sanitizer does not get our hands
clean at all. She says it’s because there are so many types of bacteria in the environment. Barnes describes hand sanitizer as alcohol gel. She says all we are doing is adding a layer of alcohol gel onto our hands.
While we are on the topic of alcohol, that is another
reason why we should run for soap and water. We have
used so much hand sanitizer that we are all sick of our dry and rough hands. Avant mentioned that by being
so overly cautious about the spreading of pathogens during COVID, there came a point that washing her
hands with soap and water caused them to become
chapped. By her excessive use of hand sanitizer on cracked hands, the sanitizer would leak in and burn her hands.
It is understandable that we have to protect ourselves
from germs and COVID. As the world fights to regain normalcy, we must fight to retrain our minds. We must
go back to using more soap and water, and less hand sanitizer.
Sometimes it is necessary for us to purchase portable
bottles of hand sanitizer. It is convenient for us to use it in the classroom and our offices, because we cannot exit and disturb our work and learning process. Former HCC student, Razan Kazar, agrees with the convenience
of hand sanitizer in these situations. Kazar says, “It’s so much easier and less time consuming for those of us in a rush.” She considers this as an advantage of hand sanitizer.
Remember, when we do have a moment or a break, it is
in all our best interest to wash our hands in the bathroom
when we can. It is more beneficial to all our health to make this stop to try and eliminate this over usage of
hand sanitizer. These bacterial infections that stem from “superbugs” have landed people in the hospital. Once resistant antibiotics can no longer kill these bacteria or “superbugs”, what are we going to do to stop them?
Sign to stop and wash your hands with hand sanitizer upon entry. Photo by Kseniia Ilinykh on Unsplash
News 21
Free Counseling and Campus Advocates By Salene Herrera
Staff Writer
T
connection with CFJ allows students to get help
he Counseling and Wellness Center has
partnered up with the Center for Family Justice, providing
Campus
Advocates
experiencing various forms of abuse.
for
students
The Counseling and Wellness center is a place
on campus that offers collaborative help for all students at Housatonic, from trained counseling
professionals. It is located in Lafayette Hall, room A-242.
the added monetary worries or fear of being judged for their situation.
Requesting a campus advocate can be done
by calling the CFJ directly at 203-334-6154 or by calling the Counseling and Wellness center at 203332-5285.
College can be hard enough without the added
stress that students face when dealing with abuse,
In collaboration with the Center for Family Justice,
depression, anxiety, goal setting, etc. Reaching
the students of Housatonic with Campus Advocates,
overwhelming period of life, should be an easy
with abuse, whether it be relational, physical, sexual,
partnership with the CFJ creates a safe space for
the Counseling and Wellness center have provided
out for help, especially in what can be a very
trained professionals that support students dealing
task and the Counseling and Wellness center’s
etc. Wellness Center counselor Lindsey Norton
students that allow it to be.
states, “They are phenomenal advocates and are
here for our campus. Some students have shared
they ‘feel embarrassed’ and there can be a stigma attached to asking for help, but it takes courage and bravery to say ‘I can not do this alone!’ ”
The campus advocates provide several services
including support for safe emergency shelter for
those dealing with physical and/or sexual abuse, emotional support, legal counsel for married individuals suffering from abuse, and in-depth case management. All of the services provided by the CFJ campus advocates are free of charge.
The free access to these services provides students
with safety and support they may not have had
otherwise. The Counseling and Wellness centers
22
they need in making positive life changes without
HORIZONS Fall 2022
All information about the Counseling and Wellness
center can be found on Housatonic’s website under the “Resources and Offices” tab. There are several different sources offered and links to additional
information pertaining to all types of wellness. To make an appointment call the Counseling and Wellness center at 203-332-5285 or email them at HC-Counseling@Housatonic.edu.
Campus Advocates will be there to help you feel better in any way they can. Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
News 23
Equity for Everyone
By Jarrod Walker
L
Editor
ife is hard enough, and college sure doesn’t make it any easier. With expensive books, aggressive
course loads, and not knowing what you want to do
with your life, college can quickly begin to feel like
too much responsibility. That’s why everyone needs a little help now and then, whether it be a little extra
money, career advice, or just a group of likeminded people to talk to. The only problem is: How do you
get such a support system? Not all students have family or friends that can be of much help during
hard times, leaving many of them scrambling to
figure things out without many, if any resources. If this
sounds familiar to you, Housatonic’s Equity Project is something you should keep an eye on.
E’zhana Smith, Equity Program Coordinator, agrees
that “Even though we may have busy schedules in
and outside of school, it’s important to network and
try to get involved on campus in some capacity, because when you’re involved and feel supported it
makes a difference and helps you persist to academic completion.”
The Equity Project started two years ago as a
In order to apply to be an “Equity Scholar” students
must meet a few criteria. To be eligible, students must
be either low income or part of an underrepresented
group such as first-generation college students, single parents, undocumented, black, or LGBT. Students must also agree to attend at least one financial literacy workshop each semester and a total
of three HCC learning opportunities, activities, clubs, volunteer ships, etc. Every month, students must meet with an assigned project coordinator to discuss
their class progress, future plans, and any Housatonic sponsored events they’ve attended; maintaining a minimum of 2.0 is also expected.
“There are lots of resources and people that can work towards your dreams here at HCC so don’t hesitate to get involved on campus.” If interested, students can check their emails
means of helping disadvantaged, unrepresented
towards the end of the winter semester and fill out an
Over the course of a year, students are provided
however students that apply will be interviewed
connections, learning opportunities and financial
interest, and background to get a bigger picture
chosen field. Upon the successful completion of the
apply, so it’s highly recommended that everyone
the semester and an opportunity to become a paid
January 1.
students with their educational and career goals.
application. To be fair, the selection process is random,
access to financial support, campus resources and
for further questions about their academic goals,
literacy training to prepare them for success in their
of how they’d benefit from the program. Many will
program, students are rewarded $250 at the end of
registers as soon as they can, and no later than
mentor for future students. No matter your end goal,
Guillermo Hernandez, a former member of the
the Equity Project gives you the tools and community you need to thrive and reach your full potential.
24
As Alexandros Valaintis, project coordinator, puts it,
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Equity Project, stresses, “Apply, Apply, Apply! Just apply! It’s a lottery but it doesn’t hurt to try!”
Work together with other students and staff to have a year worth remembering in the Equity Project. Photo by Kampus Production on Pexels.
Online Tutoring for Non-English Speakers
By Gillian Tapias Staff Writer
E
veryone at Housatonic wants you to succeed, and
the community around the campus does as well.
For example, the library right around the corner from Housatonic offers online tutoring, especially for those
who are non-English speakers looking to either learn the language or are taking classes at Housatonic.
At the moment, they only offer tutoring online, and it’s
specific to each person’s individual needs. However, the library has been offering tutoring sessions for more than
10 years. When it was first introduced only children were offered help, but it then was open to adults. Now, these
tutors are volunteers who do not work for the library
or the city. They are doing this because they care. The volunteers work specifically with you to help with what
you may be struggling with. This means that hours are
flexible, depending on your schedule as well as the tutors. Most tutors mainly work with their students on weekday evenings or weekends.
While speaking to librarian Breta Hasim, she had
mentioned that many people who seek tutoring in the first place are non-English speakers looking to learn the
language. “Especially those who are just starting out and
have grammar problems and want to learn more about the subject. They also offer GED course help for tutoring math, English, and other areas as well,” she said.
More information can be found by visiting the library
in person at Bridgeport Public Library Main Branch, 925
Broad St, Bridgeport, CT 06604 or calling (203)-5767400 for more information.
News 25
The Sound Coming to Our Sound By Andreas Savvaides
Senior Staff Writer
W
hat do Dave Mathews, Stevie Nicks, Ziggy Marley,
My sister, Kaylee Savvaides, is a Communications
Tim Reynolds and many more famous names all
intern at Trumbull Parks and Recreations, says, “The
Sound-on-Sound event on September 24th and 25th.
going to benefit Bridgeport economically. People are
have in common? They will all be in Bridgeport. for the Down by the Seaside Park behind the University of
Bridgeport, over twenty-five bands will showcase their talents in our backyard! What also makes this event so special is that there will be two stages on opposite
ends at the park so that there is music on both sides. You have music on your left and right, a beach in front of you, and a bar behind you. What more can you ask
tourism and crowd that the event attracts is definitely coming from far away to see musicians, this means
they will have to pay for local Bridgeport parking, probably buy some local food, and pay for tickets
which will benefit the arena. All that money coming
in is distributed throughout Bridgeport, effectively benefiting the community”
for? This two-day extravaganza will be like no other that this city has ever witnessed!
The Son of the legend Bob Marley, will be performing at this event! Photo by Sound on Sound On https://soundonsoundct.com/lineup/
26
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Holly Caldwell, a nurse at Yale Hospital, will be attending
For those of you who are unaware of Factory
this event. As a fan of most of these bands and a huge
Underground, it is a studio/school that does projects
been a passion of hers ever since she can remember. “I
Edisun, Disney, and other artists and companies. They
music lover, she loves going to concerts and it’s always
am looking to expect great food from the surrounding
area in the arena from both Bridgeport and Fairfield, see a lot of people from Connecticut and even out of state, and
really talented musicians on two different stages. I expect to have a great time and listen to some great music.
The last time I was at the arena was late august of last
year for a Greta van fleet concert and I was so impressed
with Similar Kind, Goose, Jose Feliciano, Rakim, do recordings, film productions, ADR sessions, and
so much more! Mark Allen is originally from New York and worked in one of the biggest studio companies
in the world, SIR. SIR Studios has been a flourishing
company since 1967 and Mark has been in high executive positions during his tenure there.
Working in the same facilities as Mark Alan is Jeff
with the way they redid Harbor Yard! I worked there for
Willet. Jeff is a live sound audio engineer at the Wall
were gorgeous, the food is better, the entertainment is
on what kind of work needs to be done in order to
my first summer job and the upgrades to the stadium awesome, and I plan to keep going back again and again because of how great it is,” she said.
By mid-April of this year, it was already clear how much
traction this event had. By plane, train, ferry, car, and even
bike reservations, fans were coming in from all over the place. Only general admissions were left for purchase and
three out of the nine hotels in our area are already sold
out of rooms during those days because of the concerts. This just goes to show that word about this event has already spread like wildfire outside of Connecticut, and
yet there are a bunch of people who live close enough that they can walk there, and they don’t even know that this is even taking place!
Mark Allen, Director of Marketing at Factory Underground
hopes to see the event continue. “I hope it’s an annual
event,” he said. “It’s in terms of how successful this one
go and I have very high hopes for it because it sounds like they are drawing high profile artists. The higher the profile the higher the draw. It benefits everyone in the state because it shows Connecticut as a destination spot
for people outside of the area. Tourism is great for both Bridgeport and Connecticut.” In terms of business and
understanding the product, Mark is wise enough to know
the positive effects that this can give our community. The more times we do events like these, the greater chances
Street Theater. He has lots of experience and insight execute this operation that contains such magnitude.
“When it comes to bigger shows and multiple sets, you get different guitars and different pedals. Every Time an act is done with their set, you will have to change everything up for the next performer. That process is twenty minutes worth of work that needs to be done in under five.” Being in the music industry myself, I know how
difficult it is to set up a stage with limited amounts of time, let alone for only one act.
The goal for everyone reading this should be to
understand the musical culture in Bridgeport/HCC. I
think my home area has a lot to offer and the fact that we are getting big events like this is something that we should never take for granted. With that said, we need
to capitalize on this exposure in order to pursue more opportunities to host and produce more major events
like this. This should not be a onetime deal and luckily, I don’t think it will be.
of outsiders knowing who we are as a state, a city, and a community.
News 27
Commit to a Smooth Path By Jasmin Saksene
Editor
H
“As soon as you think you might want to transfer, talk
ave you ever felt a wave of anxiety rush over you
to the advisors at your school, and reach out to us in
all the options available when it comes to transferring?
we want to support students and to help students find
pathway that can make it easier for students to transfer
at UConn, said.
while thinking of which path to take? Were you aware of
Admissions at UConn. We all do what we do because
UConn's Guaranteed Admissions (GA) Program is a
success,” Caroline McCall, a Transfer Admissions Officer
to this specific university after graduating.
Some key factors to keep in mind are that students
Individuals can be reassured that they are going to be
could enter in either the fall or spring admission
can be lifted off of your shoulders if you want to attend
30 credit maximum can be earned through the College
have to worry about checking if the courses that you are
Connecticut Early College Education program.
accepted and that their credits will transfer. A weight
periods. Some credits that would count towards their
UConn through this program because you will no longer
Board Advanced Placement Exams and the University of
taking will be approved.
Students must be enrolled in a Connecticut community
“To enroll in the GA Program, a student must apply
college and former students that have already pursued
be enrolled in the LAS degree (Liberal Arts Degree).
Individuals must complete their Associate's Degree
before completing 30 credits. A student must also
a degree at UConn are not eligible for the program.
Depending on the school the students are entering
within 5 years of their enrollment.
once they get to UCONN, they must hold a 3.0 GPA or a 3.3 GPA. It is a seamless process as long as the student
follows through with their plan discussed with the UCONN rep on campus,”
“These articulation agreements have arranged that all
of the courses transfer, as long as they meet the program
criteria. It is intended for students who know they want to commit to a 4-year degree though, as a stand-alone
Chrystie Cruz, a Guided Pathways Advisor and the main
Transfer Ticket program may not have as much value if
students to plan and stay on track. Students should make
up transferring,” Daniela Squizzatto, a Guided Pathways
contact for the GA Program, said. This program allows
you only complete the associate's degree and don't end
sure to check the different requirements for each major.
Advisor, said.
This program offers a variety of majors in the College of Agriculture, Health, and Natural Resources, School of Business, and College of Liberal Arts and Sciences.
The first step to participating in the program is to enroll.
To apply for the GA Program students must complete an application and get it signed by the community college’s counselor.
28
HORIZONS Fall 2022
This will be sent to the UConn Undergraduate
“UConn is a great choice for students for so many
Admissions Office with their official high school transcript
reasons! I earned both my undergraduate and graduate
of admission to the program. When they are about to
13 years! There are so many opportunities for internship,
and application fee. Students will then receive a letter graduate they must send an Intent to Enroll Form as well as their official transcript from HCC.
There is a withdrawal option for students who may
change their minds. To do so, students must submit
a written request to withdraw from the Guaranteed
Admissions Program that will be sent to UConn’s Undergraduate Admissions Office. However, they can still apply to UConn through the regular application.
If you are sure about attending UConn, this program
will help you get there. Knowing about this option can
be the first step in deciding whether an individual wants
to transfer to this university or not. Some people are confident in their choice to attend this university; they have this opportunity to fulfill their desire.
degrees from UConn, and I have worked at UConn for
leadership, research, and service in CT, in the US, and around the world that students will find they can have a very personalized experience.And we consistently see
that these life-transformative experiences students are
having at UConn are leading to great outcomes when they graduate. And you can’t beat that Husky pride!” McCall said.
Every individual goes through their own journey, but
this opens another option to explore. “I do not have a
concrete plan as of yet. I will likely plan to transfer to
SCSU or to some other Connecticut state university that will accept all of the credits from Housatonic. I would
like to learn more about it, as I do have a strong interest in attending Uconn after I graduate from Housatonic Community College,” Chris Fusina, a student in their second semester at HCC said.
Taking this path can have you on your way to the UConn campus in no time. Photo by Jasmin Saksene
News 29
Many students need to hear more about these types
Others may come into HCC having a solid plan. If UConn
of transfer agreements, especially if they are thinking
is the school they have decided on then this is the right
along the way but learning more information will aid in
who already know what major they'd like to pursue and
of pursuing another degree. There is much confusion clearing any doubts.
“I haven't heard about the UConn GA Program. I don't
know much about UConn, so I haven't considered it, but I would love to learn more and think about the option,” Vitoria Nogueira, a freshman attending HCC, said.
The GA Program creates a path for individuals who may
be concerned about taking the next steps in transferring. Being a part of this program is one way to release some
of that stress and put your energy into making it happen. Receiving another degree might be your dream and UConn could be where you achieve it.
Although, that may not be the case for all. “Not all
students will want to transfer to a 4-year school, nor
program for them. “We have students who come to HCC graduate with (even what school they want to transfer
to, and whether they want to get their Master's degree), and then we have students who take a few semesters to figure out what their career path is,” Squizzato said.
This program should not be taken lightly as it can
determine where you will be next. It takes a great
commitment. Although many students don’t have it all figured out, there are programs like this to help guide
them if they have an idea of where they want to transfer. “I believe that the program is suitable for students who
are interested, want, and willing to transfer specifically to UConn into specific programs,” Cruz added.
For more information, students can visit the UCONN
should all of them do so. I would encourage you instead
website and search for the section on the Guaranteed
Career Assessment exam, speak to your GP Advisor,
deadlines and timelines. They have a link embedded in
to really hone into your career goals, take our FOCUS2
and our Career Services Director for career options!” Squizzato explained.
30
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Admissions Program which will give insight on specific
the reading called “implementation guidelines” that is
underlined in red and can walk students step by step on crucial information they need to know.
Breaking the Bias
T
he Women’s Center sponsored a creative competition during the month of March, Women’s History Month, in the Spring 2022 semester. Following the International
Women’s Day theme, artists were asked to submit art pertaining to the following prompt
“Imagine a gender equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. A world that is diverse, equitable and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women’s equality. Collectively we can all #breakthebias.” Below is the winning entry.
To Women Everywhere By Kadeija Bond
Lift up your head Queen, Sister and Friend! This season of debasement needs to come to an end You are too extraordinary to be boxed in You were made to stand out, its time for you to begin You have greatness within you; talents and abilities that you have not yet discovered Your gift to the world has yet to be delivered The world needs to know your name; you need to begin writing your own story For too long you have stood in the shadows because you were told that you didn’t belong They told you that you weren’t talented, smart or strong You have been denied a seat at the table again and again Don’t waste time complaining, you have endured enough rain Build your own table and sit in your own chair Provide a space where differences are accepted, and experiences are shared Rise up phenomenal women of the earth and seek out the reason for your birth You are special and unique; know your worth You are destined for great things Don’t let fear hold you back, get ready to spread your wings We need more women who will fight for what they believe in The world needs more change makers and risk takers “It’s a man’s world” they say, but the reality is it doesn’t belong to any man Haven’t we been here since time began? Weren’t we both made by the almighty’s hand? Its time we put an end to the discrimination against women We can achieve more if work together After all, we are on the same team We want a better world for our children; a place where they can achieve their dreams; A world without the fear of ridicule and contempt and a world where differences are celebrated and accepted. Poem 31
Identifying Signs and Seeking Help: Dealing with Depression and Anxiety D
epression and anxiety do not take breaks when a new semester begins and assignments start rolling in. All those overwhelming and dreadful feelings remain, now on top of the added pressure of academic achievement, social interaction, and working toward discovering what it is that one wants to do for the rest of their life. With the slow increase of traditional classes, anxiety is sure to rear its head, which is expected after a period of academic isolation for some. There will be students on campus who have taken classes but have never been on campus before and students who have never met or truly socialized with their classmates. In certain cases some students find school to be the source of their depression and anxiety. People who may not find themselves having these issues outside of school may see them appear throughout the school year. This is the case for freshman Todd Harris, who states, “I’d say I’m definitely more anxious in school than outside of school because of the thought of not passing or not being able to get a good job play on my mind a lot.” For many students, this seems to be the case. Many students place an expectation on themselves to do everything perfectly and never make mistakes. Depression and anxiety make this unrealistic expectation become much more unmanageable. Not only can this add to a decline in mental health, but it can also create an issue that was not there before. According to Psychology and Human Services professor Claudine Coba-Loh, “People often put too much pressure on themselves to do it all, and do it all perfectly, which contributes to stress, as well as depression and anxiety.” Coba-Loh is the program coordinator for the Human Service program and has 30 years of clinical experience working with individuals that struggle with mental health. Coba-Loh’s vast experience and knowledge allow her to give an overview of what signs may be seen in students struggling with depression or anxiety. Coba-Loh states that symptoms of depression may include, “Fatigue or tiredness, changes in eating and sleep patterns, not finding joy in previously enjoyed activities,
32
HORIZONS Fall 2022
By Salene Herrera
Staff Writer
loss of interest in day to day activities, a decline in day to day activities.” These symptoms can make it hard for students to engage in academics the way they would like to. There is increased difficulty in finding the motivation to participate in class and complete schoolwork. While anxiety can be accompanied by depression, the symptoms differ, “Lack of concentration, inability to remember things, trouble sleeping or even relaxing, overwhelmed with simple tasks, inability to think clearly, feeling rushed, nervous, overstressed and the inability to slow down and pace oneself,” are all potential symptoms of anxiety, adds Coba-Loh. Regardless of whether someone is struggling with anxiety, depression, or both, being a student on top of these issues can make academics seem impossible. That is why reaching out for help, whether, from a loved one, a trusted adult, a friend, or a trained professional is imperative. “Talking about it brings comfort, and helps them to feel less alone. They can also learn strategies for coping with how they are feeling. Students should reach out to the college counseling office, which is available to every student enrolled, regardless of what college they attend. Every college offers free counseling for students. Not only will talking to someone improve their mental health, but it can improve their quality of life,” says Coba-Loh. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression and/or anxiety, along with other mental health conditions, seek help. Housatonic’s Counseling and Wellness Center, located at Lafayette Hall A-242, offers free counseling for all students enrolled at Housatonic. This includes services involving, but not limited to, anxiety and depression. There are also Campus Advocates that provide assistance and advisory to students through a partnership with Housatonic and The Center for Family Justice. More information about free counseling, Campus Advocates, and other resources can be located on the Housatonic website or by contacting the Counseling and Wellness center at 203-332-5285, or by email at HC-Counseling@Housatonic.edu Reach out for help. Photo by youssef naddam on Unsplash
News You Can Use
Anxiety Low, Ducks in a Row:
The Nursing School Application Process
By Tamara Johnson
W
hile graduation is something to look forward to, students who are transferring out to other institutions have obligations and deadlines to meet. This especially rings true for nursing school applicants. Nursing has always been a rewarding career. However, since Covid the demand for nurses is at an all time high. More jobs have become available. The median annual wage for registered nurses was $75,330 in May 2020. Nursing can be one of the most rewarding careers anyone can choose. However, for future nursing school applicants, the process can be hard to manage and stressful. Once a potential candidate discovers the requirements and begins the process the less stress they create for themselves. Time conscious students that have the ability to line up their priorities and prepare are usually able to maneuver throughout the process with minimum anxiety. I found myself ready for the application process. As soon as the semester began, I started the application. I found my immunization records, requested my transcripts, gathered all the necessary documents, and I was off to the races. Keeping up with my grades and gathering documents was a lot of work, and even stressful at moments. However, I was prepared, so I was able to make it through with little to no anxiety.
Staff Writer
nursing application and its prerequisites is a process that requires paying close attention to time and detail. The application cycle for the nursing program in Connecticut. is November 1- February 1 of each calendar year. Students must obtain a C or greater in classes such as Mat 136/137, Che*111, Eng*101, and Bio*211 & 212. Nursing admission GPA is contingent on a passing grade in these courses, as well as electives and Humanities classes, which vary depending on the college's curriculum. Although all applicants who submit appropriate credentials on time are considered eligible, they will be ranked. Eligible candidates are designated a rank position through CT-CNNP admissions process. Each college fills 75% of its seats. The other twenty-five percent of college spaces are filled through random selection. The remaining eligible applicants will be waitlisted. If a seat becomes available, the next applicant is chosen in order of rank.
LaToya Donaldson is set to begin the nursing program at GCC in Fall. She admits she was able to manage her anxiety throughout the process by being prepared and ahead of all deadlines. Donaldson says, “the most important thing for a student to do is to save themselves the stress by prioritizing and watching the clock.” She goes on to say “LITERALLY” and then chuckles. Students who plan on entering a nursing program after graduation have responsibilities, requirements and deadlines to meet to become eligible candidates. Fulfilling these expectations can cause anxiety if they are not handled in a timely fashion, as if the pressure of getting good grades and graduating isn’t enough. The demanding target dates with regards to the
Student checking documents. Photo by Wayne Johnson
News You Can Use 33
Documents lined up in a row. Photo by Tamara Johnson
HCC Alumna Diane Washington, now an RN, recalls the pressure and anxiety she experienced during the process. “At that point it’s like you have to focus on more than getting good grades,” says Washington. Focusing on grades, time, and the overall procedure can cause enough anxiety for a student to blow a gasket. “I became so overwhelmed and anxious because I waited until the last minute to prepare and submit my documents,” says Washington. Reflecting on what she would have done differently, Washington says, “I would have created a checklist with deadlines and dates to help me navigate through the process stress free.” Waiting until the last minute to do anything never usually ends well. According to Allied Health Advisor Sandra Barnes, many students apply, but do not get accepted on the first attempt. A student may have to apply more than once because there is no guarantee an applicant will qualify. For example, Washington did not meet the qualifications to enter the program and had to wait until the next year to re-apply. She did not pass the mandatory, 3.5 hour TEAS test and did not have enough time to retake it before the deadline. Applicants must pass the TEAS test with 53.3% before February 1. This multiple choice exam consists of math, science, reading, and english. Students are allowed to take the exam as many times as needed prior to the deadline and the highest score prevails. “I scored 50%, '' says Washington. The feeling of being defeated and the lapse of time caused her extreme anxiety. From that moment forward she vowed to never be negligent with her future again. The experience has taught Washington the importance of preparing carefully to avoid mishaps.
34
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Any prospective applicant must understand the importance of meeting obligations and deadlines. If a student gets waitlisted, but wishes to keep working towards something they may want to consider taking classes that qualify them for a General Studies Degree. Students can use this degree to go on to a four-year institution eventually. “Once you have a four-year degree in anything, there are other nursing programs that would open up for them,” says Barnes. The earlier a student begins the process, the better the chances of eligibility. Prioritizing, having a checklist, calendar, and clock made the process easier for Washington. The following year she was accepted into the nursing program of her choice. “That whole THING taught me the lesson of my life, '' says Washington. She said “if you want something bad enough, organize and prepare, pressure busts pipes.” She will be attending Fairfield University in the Fall to obtain her Master of Science in Nursing Degree. She plans on becoming a geriatric nurse practitioner. Washington says the best advice she can offer a future nursing school applicant is to discover the requirements early, maintain a decent GPA, and begin to prepare immediately. Don’t get caught slipping. Having followed these steps, I was able to maneuver through the process without any major hiccups or time lapse. I will be graduating from HCC in May with an Associates in General Studies. I am moving to Florida where I will begin the nursing program in September. In general, as long as you prepare, you too can make it through this process without stress.
D
Undecided Students Making Decisions
ecisions are everywhere, and even the simplest of decisions can significantly impact your life, whether you choose to dwell on them or not. Nowadays, many of us do not know what we want in life. On the other hand, society says that we, at a certain age, need to have life figured out. For example, by 22 or 23, you should have already graduated college, and, by 25, and you should have already started your career. However, what if you don't know what you want to do but still go to college? This is why the statements above are entirely inaccurate. Society does not define you, nor should they perceive every individual as the same.
Many students are focused on what society wants or what their parents want, not what they want. In many cases, students compare themselves to their peers. Many students suffer from mental illnesses or the pressures of family members. The fear of failure plays a huge role in many undecided students. Susan De Oliveira, a Guided Pathways advisor, says that many students she talks to have a massive fear of failure, and they often take safer routes rather than taking risks. When I first met her, I discussed my own fears of not being where my peers are, and she told me that I shouldn't compare myself to others and why I shouldn’t be thinking about other people when I should be thinking about myself. I have always been the type of person to think about others before myself. This information within itself gives everyone a whole new perspective. Former undecided student, Laura Salazar, says that when the time came for applying to college, it was very stressful for her. “I did not want my parents to pay a lot of money to go to college or university for me to go as undecided. I knew that whatever I wanted to do, I had to do it fast, and I began to sit down and have a deep conversation with myself to see what I was good at and what I wasn't,” she says. Many undecided students have had a hard upbringing, and making decisions for the future is the least of their problems. However, communication and putting yourself out there are essential, whether walking around the school or looking at the bulletin boards for information.
By Gillian Tapias
Staff Writer
As formerly an undecided student, it was a big struggle for me. I had the pressure of my family always asking me what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. My peers around me knew what they wanted to do, and all the friends that I was close to seemed to have their life and career figured out, except for me. I focused so much on the fact my family struggled financially that I felt the need to find a job in which I would make a lot of money. I wanted to succeed as none of my family members did, yet I wasn't happy with my choices. It took me about a year to figure out that money doesn't buy happiness, and the saying is true. I realized that money is not everything. Some of the wealthiest people are unhappy. I know that whatever I wanted to do, I would have people to support me. This within itself was a massive weight lifted off my shoulders.
“Many students are focused on what society wants or what their parents want, not what they want.” I took Laura’s advice. First, I thought about what I was good at and who I was, what I could handle, and what type of person I wanted to be. Once I analyzed that I am a huge people person, and I love to help others, it became easier to narrow down what I want. This was when I decided to go into the field of Human Services. It was a start, and I could narrow it down from there on. I know that I want to become a social worker and even hope to get my master's. The best advice is given by both Susan, the Guided Pathways Advisor, and Laura, who was recently undecided, was that t's not enough to simply go to school, back home, and do your work. It is making connections, and the earlier one founds that out, the better it is for you.
News You Can Use 35
Preparing for a New World By Jarrod Walker
Editor
F
all is here and another semester is upon us. For many students at Housatonic, this will be their first year at college. And for many other students, like myself, the end of their associate’s degree is approaching. It's terrifying to say the least, but I’m proud of all the hard work I’ve done. Though I’m still unsure about a lot of things. I ask myself questions like, “What do I want to do with my life,” and “What school will I transfer to,” but I’m left with more questions than answers. Let’s be honest, though; it’s not just me. Other students are going through the same thing. Which is why I want to take some time to help us all figure out: How do I prepare for my life after graduation? For students like myself, getting their associates degree isn’t the end of their college career. They will want to transfer to a four-year institution after graduation to get their bachelor’s degree before applying to a job in their chosen field. This is why choosing the college that’s best for them and their needs should be their number one priority. The thing is, there are so many different colleges out there, so where do you even begin? Chrystie Cruz, Lead of Campus advising at Housatonic, says you should begin to ask yourself a few questions. “What areas/program of study do they offer, do I want to live on or off campus, are the classes typically big or small, how much financial aid do they typically offer?” are all good places to start. You want to think about what your ideal university experience would look like. For instance, if you want to move away, live on your own, and see what life’s like in another city: Go live on campus. But, if you’d rather stay home with your
36
HORIZONS Fall 2022
family, save some extra money, or rent an apartment: Live off campus. More than anything, you want to pay attention to each school’s cost of tuition and average financial aid awarded, since paying for college is always ludicrously expensive. If you’re still uneasy about the whole process though, there are other more engaging options. Marc Mercuriano, a Guided Pathways Advisor at HCC, mentions, “My best suggestion is to attend as many open houses, virtual workshops, and informational sessions as you can.” Mercuriano stresses that, “The more you talk to people, the more information you’ll have to make an informed decision.” So don’t forget to attend any campus visits from universities here at Housatonic and any workshops they might offer. I personally have never been on an internship myself, but they are a great way for students to get an idea of what work in their chosen major is actually like; along with other benefits, such as gaining prior experience in their field they can use on job applications and insight into whether their field is right for them. Internships are helpful not just to students who plan on working after graduation, but to anyone who wants professional experience and a chance to grow more as a person. So, the only question left is, how do you go about getting an internship? Claudine Coba-Loh, Professor of Psychology and Human Services at Housatonic, as well as internship partner, says the best place to look for internships is in town or near your job/school. As a project coordinator, Professor Coba-Loh can be contacted about internship opportunities; and on the HCC
website, students can contact a coordinator from the department of their choosing to see what listings they have open as well. Professor Coba Loh’s advice to anyone interested in an internship is to give it a try, regardless of whether they know what they want to pursue or not. In her eyes, internships can be used to explore various areas before committing to a career or used to get necessary hands-on experience students need before they enter the workforce. She emphasizes, “They will learn a lot about the field and themselves during the internships. I highly recommend students do as many internships as they can to get experience in the field. On-the-job training is so different than class learning.” But, what if you need more time to decide, figure all this out? It’s not uncommon for students after they finish college to take some time off to work, relax, and think about their futures. Life has been hard for everyone these past few years, and everyone handles these things differently. One of my close friends, Aaron, took this year off from attending the California State University of Fullerton. He currently spends his days working at a print shop, hanging out with friends, and playing video games. But he says he's been a lot happier since then. Aaron decided to take a break from school as, in his own words, “It wasn’t what I wanted to do in my life.” Aaron realizes that he has time to decide what he really wants to do with his life, being only twenty years old. Instead of rushing to do things that don’t interest him he’d rather spend his time doing what he thinks is most important: Living life.
And, I don’t blame him. There is no set life path for anyone and you shouldn’t feel ashamed if you need to take some time after college to do what’s best for you. In our fastpaced capitalist society, we are always doing something; going to school, working, taking care of all these different responsibilities leaving little to no time for ourselves. It can all leave us with very little time to just exist and be with who we are and what really matters. If you’re still not sure what you want to do in life it’s pointless to panic. Instead, channel that energy into something you love. Or, if you don’t know what you love, take time to explore what makes you happy. As Aaron puts it, “These times can
be rough and immensely stressful on anyone. Time can heal many wounds and a break can help your mind recuperate from the intense pasts you may have experienced. You are the owner of your life, no one else can tell you otherwise.” If you’re graduating soon I just want to say, “congratulations!” Maybe graduating community college doesn’t sound like all that big a deal, but it is. Not everyone goes to college for many different reasons, but mainly because it’s so difficult. Anyone should feel proud of themselves for doing all this work in between all the madness that goes on in their personal lives and coming out on the other end.
My personal advice to anyone who’s graduating soon is to not be afraid of the future. That’s easier said than done of course, but there’s a lot to see in this life. One day you’ll be lying in your bed all day contemplating existence and the other you’ll be living your best life, and vice-versa. The point is, there’s so much to see in this life and we only get one, so we should make the most of it and spend our lives working for what will make us feel good. Whether that’s continuing our education, doing internships to break into our field, or simply having fun in our youth, I believe we all have something to look forward to.
Take your life in your hands; there’s much more to life after graduation. Photo by Caleb Holden on Unsplash.
News You Can Use 37
Personal Essays
The Void Inside Me I
have very vague memories of when I used to be happy. When I used to live without worries, when I used to sleep without the constant fear of "what if..." about stormy distant memories; when I used to be at peace. Those seem like memories of a distant life that I never had and that I long to have... I don't know if they are real or not, but the feeling that I was once happy persists inside me or perhaps persists in some alter ego created by my delusions. "You are alive and dead" are the words that echoed in my head every time I got up from bed. Sometimes I didn't want to leave my room and I wouldn't stop crying in my room for hours and hours until the beads in my eyes were empty. I cried until I was dehydrated, and I cried silently and alone while thinking and saying to myself: "Was I ever happy?" For as long as I can remember I was always unbalanced, I never knew if I was happy or sad, I only knew that I didn't feel quite right but I wanted others to empathize with that feeling. Over the years, that feeling intensified and I no longer knew what it felt like to be happy. I didn't know if I was alive or dead, I was only aware of my own existence. I didn't know I had clinical depression and chronic insomnia until I was officially diagnosed a few years ago. All this time I felt disconnected from reality, in a hole without light and in an endless tunnel trying to cushion the pain and suffering of my inner emptiness with positive actions. When I was diagnosed with clinical depression, I couldn't believe it. I was in denial for several days and even laughed at the thought that someone like me could be depressed. I was always raised to not feel anything, to not feel any remorse, to not feel sadness or anger, much less to not feel "exaggerated happiness" as my
38
HORIZONS Fall 2022
By Brandon Cortes
Senior Staff Writer
family used to say. I was raised to be a machine. In a family full of misfortunes and mediocres, I had to be the role model for my family. So, the idea that someone like me could feel depressed was very foreign to me, but over time I accepted it and then I fell into hell.
kept my mind busy by exercising, overeating, and staying up late watching TV shows and movies so I wouldn't go back to sleep. There were times when I would go almost weeks without sleeping in order to not have nightmares again.
I was shattered. My vision of the world was distorted. I didn't care about everything or everyone. I was in the deepest emptiness of my own being and could see no escape. I felt that I was in hell, I felt that I was a living dead or as many say: " an undead.:” I looked at myself in the mirror and only saw an empty shell, and I could hardly believe that the reflection I saw in my mirror was the reflection of the person who inhabited this body.
In the end, those distractions never worked. Little by little my mental state worsened and little by little I saw how I was slowly dying. Already at this point I was experiencing symptoms of psychosis thanks to my insomnia. I didn't know where to go and I didn't know what to do. I decided to talk it over with my parents. I was debating whether to talk to them about my mental health. I would not know how they would react since I had never opened up to them in any way throughout all life. They did not prioritize mental health, much less promote it in the family; You know the typical parents who think that depression doesn't exist and that mental health isn't all that important. However, one day I had the courage to openly open up to them. I had a painful and tearful talk with them, and, in the end, despite their naivety and stubbornness, they encouraged me to seek psychological therapy.
“It is there where you’ll find comfort to move on and to rekindle that little flame that once gave you the reason to live and find what you desire: Purpose, understanding, belonging, caring, love, friends, and family.” "Is that me?" I wondered every time I looked at it. Sometimes I didn't even want to look at my reflection, I avoided looking at myself and I lied to myself that the person who was on the other side of the glass reflection was me. I didn't want to accept it and I didn’t want to look at it either, I hated myself and my own loneliness. I started playing video games, watching anime, or any other form of entertainment that served to distract me and keep me from succumbing to the madness. I couldn't let the darkness get me, much less be consumed by the void and my depression. I
Going to therapy is difficult, and more so when you come from a family that never prioritized mental health in the first place. First we started with talk sessions and in many of them I burst into tears. I cried too much, I had never cried and unburdened myself so much with a stranger. It was the first time in my life that I could cry my lungs out, I had finally been able to stop crying in silence and I had finally released the knot that I had inside me. I started taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills prescribed by my therapist. I was in treatment
Depression or feeling down is something we have all experienced. Endless emptiness is something that is experienced very often. Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash
for months, and let me tell you, it was like being in hell. There is a lot of ignorance when it comes to psychiatric medications, and they are not what people think. When I started taking my antidepressants, I felt groggy, sometimes I couldn't pay much attention to many things and sometimes I couldn't work properly; but all these symptoms were normal and those were the side effects of antidepressants. Over time I followed my treatment and little by little I began to clear my mind with hobbies. Hobbies helped keep my mind busy for a long time. I was trying to find what to do and the best of it was that I was looking to distract myself in order to have fun and not to muffle my inner pain and bury my depression and ignore my state of mind like
I did before. Little by little I was rebuilding myself and little by little I was improving my sleeping habits. The road was hard and rough but in the end I was able to stay stable. In the end I was able to accept my pain, live with it, heal my pain and embrace my soul and heal it. I'm still looking for the real reason about the origin of my depression. It could be many things like: Loneliness, abandonment, my twisted childhood, there is still no real reason, but what I do know is that with the help of my loved ones, my therapist, and myself, I will be able to move on and that little by little soon I will find the light at the end of the tunnel.
My father is a man of few words but the day he saw me struggling with my depression and my instability, he sat down, hugged me and said the following: “Sometimes you feel as if life has taken everything away from you and that it will do nothing but eviscerate all the good in this miserable experience you call ‘life’; and that despite everything you've had to put up with, that pain and that anger will eventually consume you... But it's from that pain. That hollowness you feel inside. It is there where you’ll find comfort to move on and to rekindle that little flame that once gave you the reason to live and find what you desire: Purpose, understanding, belonging, caring, love, friends, and family.”
Personal Essays 39
The Shattering of My Security Bubble
Editor
I
am not a person of conflict. I try to avoid any drama at all costs, but it is inevitable, especially working in customer service. I got my first job working part-time at a gas station. For me, this was a big accomplishment because of my timid personality and the fact that I once was too afraid to even order food at a restaurant or in drive-throughs. As I stand behind the counter there are a variety of thoughts that pass through my mind magnifying my self-doubt. Will I be able to handle all the customers coming at once? Will I mess up and not be able to fix it? What if they ask something that I don’t know about? It was a couple of days after my training when I was officially working. That was when my first negative experience occurred. Naturally, I greeted the customer in an upbeat way, saying hello. There was a slight miscommunication where a customer wanted two separate transactions and for two different gas purchases, but I put them both on one transaction. I told the customer the price and he immediately snapped, saying “You need to pay attention” in a very harsh tone repeatedly. I apologized multiple times, and my co-worker offered to help. The customer just stared at me, shaking his head and furrowing his eyebrows. “Forget it, she needs to learn how to pay attention,” he said; all I thought was that he never accepted the apology for my mistake. My heart sank and blood rushed towards my face, but I wore a mask so no one could see the remnants of my sadness. As the feeling faded, I let out a sigh. This event may seem minuscule to any other person and some could say that I am sensitive. It was my first time experiencing this from a customer since I just started. Although it was expected that situations such as these would happen, you never know how you will react until it actually occurs. I have met a variety of people that made me realize that I was engulfed in a security bubble that was the comfort of my own home until now. Each person comes in with a different story and background. There are many things happening throughout their day and to them, I am a tiny part of it.
40
By Jasmin Saksene
HORIZONS Fall 2022
So I felt that I should look at that situation in a different way rather than blaming myself or him for getting angry. I decided to think that he could’ve just been having a bad day or going through troubling times and with this mindset I carried on. I was vulnerable starting out, but I was able to figure out a way to cope. When customers would be rude, I held back any negative thoughts. I learned that I was able to keep quiet as a way for me to think before I speak and calm down in high tension situations. My silence was like a shield preventing me from getting hurt even more. I started to become more familiar with my surroundings and a bit more confident in my ability to successfully get the job done. I also became a lot faster dealing with a line of customers. Then unexpectedly I had to do shifts all alone. It felt as though I was on a deserted island with no one to help me as I was surrounded by sharks. I knew, though, that I could call my boss or coworkers anytime I needed. My anxiety was slowly going down. However, more unpleasant situations would bring it back up.
“I was vulnerable starting out, but I was able to figure out a way to cope.” I've been yelled at for circumstances outside my control such as our vacuum and air machine not working. And what I was afraid of happened. I did not have an answer and no coworkers were with me. A customer came into the store while I was handling other individuals to ask about the machine. I asked him to try pressing the button another time and that I would be right out to help him when the store was clear. The customer came and knocked on the window, raising his hand, questioning why the machine wasn’t working. I went outside to check on it; I couldn’t do anything but apologize. We went back into the store and he continued to yell, insisting that I call my manager. My boss picked up and I could finally deal with the situation as I asked the lady in line to please wait for a few minutes. At that moment, I felt a rim of
water cover my eyes for a split second before I gathered myself together. After that customer left I smiled and thanked the lady for waiting. With my hands slightly shaking and my heart still beating fast, I proceeded to ring up her stuff at the register. She then told me to be careful of people. I have noticed every time that I was looked at with very judgemental eyes as if I couldn’t have been a bigger disappointment. A customer even stomped their foot at me when I got their scratch tickets incorrect. Although that was an easy fix, they were impatient. Many customers also spoke with an aggressive tone as if they were superior because of the fact that I stood behind that counter. I would be lying if I said at this point I am unphased by any negative experience. There is still a sting in my heart that makes me feel distraught when something like that happens. But this taught me how difficult it can be when you may be going through a rough time yourself and still have to uphold the most important parts of customer service; being kind and professional. Some days it seems that multiple people are having a bad day and need a way to let it out; they are less tolerant when I make a mistake. Not everyone will think about another person’s perspective. As I connected more with my coworkers, we were able to share our experiences and confide in each other. They always let me know that they were there and aided in the process of my self-growth. I have heard countless stories that my coworkers shared of their own experiences with rude customers. I thought of my experiences compared to theirs; mine are not much to get upset about. If they were able to endure these moments, so could I. Some people may not know the depth of their words or actions. Every person has to deal with situations like this even if they are just strangers passing by and accidentally bumping into each other. An immense motivator to keep working was meeting some of the sweetest people who never fail to greet me with a smile in a warm tone and ask how my day has been. Others also like to joke around. This helped me to get through each day as I acknowledged and built a bond with these friendly customers that allowed me to see the better in people. I felt that this was a representation of facing reality where there is the good and the bad. These moments have made me come out of my shell. I can not fully blame them or live in a mindset that most people are inherently mean. I was once seconds away from having a breakdown in the store but I learned how to deal
On some days it may be hard but you still have to keep a smile for the customers and you may feel like a deflated balloon at the end of the day; remember that you have tried your best and are able to get back up after taking a deep breath of air. Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
with these stressful situations by breathing slowly and thinking it through. I am glad that I got out of my security bubble. I do not let this negativity bother me as much. It is difficult putting yourself out there for people to criticize, but I guess it comes with the job of customer service. I could’ve chosen to quit and avoid ever seeing those people again. However, every week I go back. Each time I’m a little stronger, knowing the adversaries that I might come to face. I am now reassured that I have the ability to work efficiently through these events. Instead of questioning my ability to face problems I now take some time at the end of the day to go through everything that happened and focus on the positive. I am able to learn something new each day and methods to deal with certain customers. I found that I was tougher than I thought I was because I am able to endure the negative behavior, and I wouldn't trade my experiences at this job for anything.
Personal Essays 41
My Rising Story
By Andreas Saavides
Senior Staff Writer
I
first just want to begin by pointing out the obvious. Everyone has their own anxieties and everybody gets nervous from time to time. I am no different than anyone else, but our experiences in life are what make us unique, with every individual problem making us stronger. With that said, I have fallen many times before but never because of the love of my life, music. It always brought me to the point of success, but it would soon lead me through a point where I faced hyperventilation. Music is my dream, my passion, and it’s what keeps me going in life. In all honesty, it’s my therapy, and I rarely have any troubles or doubts on where I am heading with it. Alas, I recently discovered a challenge through music: traveling. When I am away from home with people I do not know, I get uncomfortable. It’s one thing to travel with someone who I am comfortable with or even by myself, but with someone who does not know me that well always gets me a little on edge. I had been asked to go to Cape Cod and record Grammy Award Winner Paul Nelson. This was a great opportunity that I could not have passed up, but sleeping overnight with the rest of the crew was a fear of mine. Having conversations with all of them beforehand, I knew that a few of them did not understand how I was feeling about this and those few people were the ones that I would be going with. I had never ran into any anxieties with anything related to music until now. For weeks I was dreading this trip and losing so much sleep. Not only that, but the days that I would go to the studio in Norwalk, seeing them never helped either.
be able to sleep properly. It worried me. I left the hotel at one in the morning and went to an entirely different hotel just to be alone. Feelings of failure washed upon me; I checked in with the bellhop, who empathized with me when he asked about why I was getting a room so late. After telling him of what I thought was embarrassing, he talked to me and made me feel that it was just how I was feeling at the time and that I will grow from this and do better. We stayed up until four in the morning because he also had a piano that he brought out and he taught me the basics on how to play. It was a negative that turned into a positive and a lesson that I learned with great value. Feeling better about the situation, I told one of the people who I went on the trip with what happened. I was honest and told him that I honestly did not feel comfortable at that time and I had a feeling that they would have not helped me out when I was anxious. “You are right. I would not have helped you. I am not your babysitter and I would have told you to figure it out for yourself.” In a way, everything worked out in its own weird way. It may not have gone as I planned, but it’s still something that I’m proud of. Going through this hurdle was extremely hard for me, but I came out the other end stronger. At first I regretted what I was doing and I was contemplating quitting everything and restarting because my anxieties constantly became roadblocks that felt immovable in my life. But then I realized that I may have stumbled along the way, but I rose to my feet. I taught myself that it’s not how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up.
I was so mentally drained from an abundance of stress that I was putting myself under. There was never a point in my week where I felt like I could take a break and relax because everything was a grind and a hustle. I had school and work to take care of, but this was specifically in the back of my head brewing up a storm. I get anxious about getting anxious. That was not a typo. I truly have worried about being anxious. It is an endless cycle that I put myself in and a situation like this does not help me. When I went on the trip to Cape Cod, it was a bittersweet moment. Driving up there was no challenge at all and neither was the recording process of Paul Nelson. I even went to the after party with them and socialized with many people there and I felt like I was doing so well. I was until the clock struck midnight. At that point, we were heading to our hotel, and I knew that I was not going to
42
HORIZONS Fall 2022
This is the similar feeling that I endured when I was going on my music trip to Cape Cod. Photo by Uriel Soberanes on Unsplash
How to (Actually) Love Yourself
By Jarrod Walker
Editor
G
rowing up, I was a sad kid. My family was going through a lot at the time and the kids at school weren’t always understanding of this; in fact, some made it a point to remind me how much they didn’t care about what I was dealing with. So, it’s easy to see how this could have had a negative effect on me. As I grew up and eventually became a high school student, things didn’t get any easier. My family dynamic got worse, people got more self centered, ignorant, apathetic, and just downright cruel and unusual. It got to a point where I was actively missing school because I felt too overwhelmed to get up in the morning. It’s a long story, so I’ll spare you the details, but it all stemmed from one false belief: That I wasn't worth anything. I thought everything was my fault and that I didn’t deserve to be happy. It made me so sick that I actively hated myself and everything about me. I wasn’t able to see the good I possessed, no matter what anyone tried to tell me. Looking back, it’s surprising that I managed to pull myself out of that mindset, even though I didn’t do it alone. The problem is, no one really teaches you how to love yourself. People just expect that as you grow up you'll naturally figure out how to do that on your own. People tell you things like, “you have to be your own best friend” and “look at yourself in the mirror and say all the things you like about yourself,” but for a lot of people this doesn't help much, if at all. I know I struggled to create a positive image of myself through positivity alone. This led to even more disappointment when my attempts failed, and I wondered if I’d ever be able to see myself as a good person.
So, it’s no wonder how many of us grow into adulthood being no better off than our insecure teenage selves, struggling to pull ourselves up in a world that constantly pushes us down. Because as we get older we don’t just have to deal with ourselves, but all the other stressful things life throws at us; we start worrying about our social lives, our careers, whether we should get married, whether we're accomplishing what we really want in life. It’s easy to see how our lives can quickly spiral out of control when we compare ourselves so much to others because we can't see our own value separate from anything or anybody else. So the question is, how does anyone deal with that?
“The problem is, no one really teaches you how to love yourself. People just expect that as you grow up you’ll naturally figure out how to do that on your own. ” To be honest, I can’t sit here and act like I have all the answers. But, I don’t want to just say, “If you feel like you hate yourself so much that it’s affecting your ability to live your everyday life, you should get some help” even though that is what you should probably do. I understand, though, that getting help can be scary and is not a journey not for everyone. I’ve known many people in the past who instead of exploring their pain and examining their pasts, have come to accept that this is just, “who they are'' and live contentedly with these self-deprecating thoughts. While I know this solution is fine for some, I know that others just can’t and won’t accept that. Because deep down they know
Personal Essays 43
“You are worthy of love” and other lessons I wish I learned growing up. Photo by Tim Mossholder on Pexels.
they can take back their lives, they just don’t know how; and personally, I would much rather they choose this path. Because learning to accept that you have just as much of a right to happiness as everyone else is no small feat, but everyone can benefit from it. I used to believe that “loving yourself” is this big, once in a lifetime moment of clarity a person has. The reality, though, is that loving yourself is a process that happens naturally as you live your life. Through your actions, you tell yourself that you are worthy of respect. I thought I had to radically change my life from the get go to start feeling better, but all I had to do was smaller things that over time would build into meaningful changes. I started with the simplest of tasks like taking better care of my teeth, drinking more water, cleaning my room, and getting more sleep. After not even a week, I began to feel like I was healthier, and in the process I was subconsciously teaching myself that my body, and by extension me, was something valuable enough to
44
HORIZONS Fall 2022
look after. Then, I had to focus on more uncomfortable things that were detrimental to my well being. I had to realize that I had friends that were bringing me down and had to stop talking to them. This was the hardest part for me because I was so conditioned to talking to people I know didn’t treat me well because I didn’t value myself and my time. It was difficult, but I slowly started hanging out with the friends of an old friend and forging new, healthier relationships. It definitely felt scary at first, but I slowly started to notice that I wasn't bitter or resentful all the time, and felt good about myself. In time, I was actually able to smile once in a while and feel grateful for the life I was living; I no longer had constant thoughts in my mind about how much life sucked or how toxic of a person I was, because I knew that just wasn’t true.
I Found My Mountain Top:
I
In a World Spiraling Downwards
was a child who dreamed big. I was shy, sweet, but controlled and overprotected up until my adulthood. I knew who I was as a person, what I wanted in life, and what steps I would have to take to get there. When I was about 4 years old, I entered into my first beauty pageant. That was my first public platform to shine. I am not a conceited person at all, but this is all I have to tell about my life experience, until The COVID Pandemic of 2020. People and teachers would tell me that I had so much integrity for a child, that I was independent, a model student, and talented. They considered me the poster child. They would say that they wished their child and every student was like me. I loathed the attention every time, and I still do. I used to wholeheartedly believe in myself and their words. I believed if I continued to be a loyal person, follow all the rules, work hard, and continue to excel at everything, I had a chance. So you would think. When I was 13 years old, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My life took a complete stop. I was still excelling at the same rate in school and everywhere else. Yes, I may have been down some days and people could tell. I had to fake a smile. I was always bullied in school by students, because they wanted what I was achieving. The overprotectiveness at home reached an all time high. By this point, the negativity had devoured the positive comments people had given me. No matter how hard I tried to move my life, I began to accept that my life was fixed as is. As an adult, I was being ordered more than I was as a child. I asked myself, “Why do I not have anything?” Also, when it would get better. I have worked just as hard as some people, and even harder. This was not fair at all. COVID shut the world down. The entire world was in a state of hysteria. I had enough setbacks, and I still did not have the job to support myself and to achieve. My life was already dark and stressed. I was not letting COVID totally bring me to the abyss.
By Shante Randall
Senior Staff Writer
I finally got to be alone, because we had no choice. I lived alone. I was free from authority. I could not hear anyone’s voice, in the distance of COVID. My mind and my past, had the potential to be eased. COVID was such an uncanny circumstance for anyone to find peace. After a few days of being alone, I found mine through the liberation of my mind and the allowance to hear my thoughts only. Instead of my original thinking that COVID definitely killed my shot at life, I reversed my thinking. I reminisced on my childhood, and I thought about every battle in my life that caused me to miss out on a lot of my dreams. I thought about the positive words that teachers and others said to me. I thought about all the inspirational musicians, athletes, actors, politicians, and others who inspired me by their fight. I also thought about the very few things that did make me happy during my childhood, as well as the things I could no longer be. I thought about all the things I wanted to be, and that I once thought I could be. Ever since I could remember I watched the Miss America Pageant growing up. I was amazed by how articulate the contestants were, that they were in college, and the pursuits they had in mind for their lives after. I have always loved glitter! Honestly, I think the fancy gowns were my favorite part. I was more anxious and interested to see the next contestant’s gown, more than what they had to say. So I grew up wanting to be Miss America, until my life took that ugly turn at 13. A year later, I was on an airplane to Europe when I was 14. The passenger next to me asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I said a movie star, a model, and Miss America. He said, “Really”? I said, “Yes, but things do not look like I will ever have a chance to even try for Miss America, but I will always have the desire.” He said well, “Even if you don’t win Miss America, you’ll be somebody’s Mrs. America.” I never forgot that. It made me feel delighted that a stranger thought I was worth having a chance in life. Even when my chance had passed for winning Miss
Personal Essays 45
America, I do not know why I always saw that crown. Even when I felt none of these dreams were ever possible. I was just too old. I took my freedom during COVID to research any beauty pageants that may be out there for adults. I found one. I sent 5 pictures of myself, along with a brief biography.We were told that we were going to be viewed by judges from over 50 countries. Of course I was nervous, because I never tried anything like that before. I was a little girl when I competed in my first pageant. I was just taking a chance on a dream.
I had independence as a child. I learned that from the very beginning of my life. I learned to depend on myself, without much guidance. I did not need unnecessary dictativeness and reinforcement as a child. It was that overprotectiveness that did not allow me my freedom. I was emotionally affected by decisions that were not my own. It was not that I was incapable of rising above, I was not given the opportunity to be free. I had to fight for it. Sometimes it is solely the lack of opportunity that makes us think we are a failure. It is not easy. Even if we do not want to fight, we all have to in some form to overcome. Although the length of the battle was extreme for me, the crown is worth so much more to me. It did not take long to capture it.
I purposely submitted my application on December 31st, 2020. I submitted on that date, not only hoping for a better year, but a win that would hopefully bring me a better shot at life. Could this be my break through the storm? On January 4, 2021, I received a letter stating that I was a semi-finalist for the Northeast Region of the United States. On January 6, 2021, I received a congratulatory letter saying that I was selected as Ms Connecticut World International, 2021. I was so proud of myself! After a life of control and agony, I won the crown I thought I had lost. It was not the traditional way, but I was okay with that. I earned it because I worked for it all my life, even though I did not realize it. My head was always in gloom. When you are emotionally in gloom, you cannot find the light easily. It was my redemption. I entered by my own decision for the first time in my life. It made me feel like I took a giant step from 13 years old, with nothing in between. No, my problems will not disappear with this win. It gave me hope. My life was not lost. I have more drive, I feel like I have a reason to exist, and a platform to finally help others. I get to do the acting and modeling along with the event as well. I have no singular way to tell you how to rise above your struggles. There is no way to wipe away life’s problems. I do know that when any of us make progress, we are closer to our achievements. That is true for us all. You must continue to work hard and be consistent in your efforts. Even when you think there is nothing left for you to achieve.
Illustration by Aeemay Dabiran 46
HORIZONS Fall 2022
Student Art Exhibition
2022
Photo Credits Jordan Neely
Kat Sorrentino Carlos Marin
Student Art Show
47
Housatonic Horizons
http://housatonichorizons.com
@HCCHorizons