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Auckland University of Engineering College of Engineering

Managing Anger in a Workplace Presented by Prof. Tomas Ganiron Jr 4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w

Skills needed in dealing with your anger:

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Identify a range of feelings including anger Identify aggressive acts by self and others Identify the potential consequences to self and other from these aggressive acts Identify self-destructive behavior Identify thoughts prior to aggressive acts Identify internal cues to feelings of anger Develop coping mechanisms for dealing with anger Express anger without loss of control

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4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w

Identify a range of feelings including anger:

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Embarrassment Excitement Disappointment Jealousy Fear Helpless Sadness Left-out

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w 1. 2. 3. 4.

I am in charge of my own feelings: I own my feelings. It is okay to feel angry. Anger is part of being human. I learn how to express my anger in helpful ways.

4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w

Identify aggressive acts shown by self and others:

4/20/2009

Throw something w Kick someone or something w Get in someone’s face w Shoving, grabbing, hitting w Break something w Call someone names w Give someone a dirty look w Silent treatment w Get others to “gang up” w Spread rumors w

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT I choose to feel good about myself through expressing my feelings. 1. I express angry feelings in ways that are fair to others and me. 2. I use fair words…e.g. “I feel when you” w

4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w

1. 2. 3. 4.

4/20/2009

The more I learn to take care of my anger the more powerful I become. I need to control what I do with my anger. I control how I let my anger out. I practice cooling off. I watch my thoughts.

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT Know the difference between anger and aggression. w Anger is an emotion. It is ok to be angry. w Aggression is acting out inappropriately and is not ok. Learn to check your aggression and express your anger appropriately. w

4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT Ways to Keep Cool: Get exercise every day. Eat right. Get enough sleep. Learn to relax. Know your feelings. Write about those feelings. w

1. 2. 3. 4.

5. 6.

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Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT Ways to Keep Cool: 7. Find a quiet place. 8. Take a time out. 9. Find fun distractions. 10. Make good decisions about what you see and hear. 11. Choose friends who make you feel good. 12. Learn to forgive and forget. w

4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w

Identify potential consequences of your anger to others and yourself…what can that mean for you?

4/20/2009

Physical harm to someone or self w Destruction of property w Loss of family/friends w Loss of job w Loss of social privileges w Going to jail w Getting a bad reputation w

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w

Identify selfdestructive behavior‌How does that help or hurt you?

4/20/2009

Negative self-talk w Blaming everyone else w Taking everything personally w Assuming w Overeating, drinking w Driving recklessly w Taking drugs w Looking for fights w Feeling outraged w

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w 1.

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I stop blaming others and myself. Blaming only keeps people upset. Blaming is a way of not respecting people. I express my feelings and then try to work things out.

4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w

You did that on purpose… w You wanted to hurt me… w You deserve this… w You never even asked me… w You’re being unreasonable… w You think you’re so good… w I’ll show you… w You started it… wGaniron There’s no justice… Author: Dr. Tomas Jr 14

Identify thoughts prior to aggressive acts:

4/20/2009

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w

Identify internal cues to feelings of anger:

4/20/2009

Stomach gets tight/upset w Heart is beating faster w Clenching fists w Feel myself getting flushed w Pressure on my temples w Sweaty palms w Clenched jaw w

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w 1. 2. 3. 4.

I don’t have to hold on to my anger. I find ways to let it go I talk about hurt and angry feelings. I look for someone to discuss my anger. I discuss my words and actions that hurt others.

4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Steps to taming anger Know what pushes your buttons. Know your body’s anger signs. Stop and think! Cage your rage…it’s your choice. Decide what to do.

4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w 1. 2. 3. 4.

I take power. I stand up for myself and others being hurt. I learn to defeat negative self-talk. I feel good about learning about myself. I am strong when I use fair and firm words instead of fists.

4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w 1. 2.

3.

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I remember that people are precious. I watch my thoughts, words, and actions. I stop hurting people with my words and actions. I take ownership of the hurtful things I do and say. “Bullying” hurts everyone.

4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT 1. 2. 3.

4. 5. 6.

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4/20/2009

Calm down Name the problem Find solutions Pick the best solution Congratulate yourself Evaluate the solution Make changes if necessary

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT w

Can you identify any of the steps in resolving conflict, controlling your anger and avoiding aggressive behavior?

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Well‌(then click)

4/20/2009

Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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ANGER MANAGEMENT Calm down w Show mutual respect w Name the problem w Find solutions w Choose the best solution w Congratulate yourself w Review the solution that was picked w

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Author: Dr. Tomas Ganiron Jr

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Managing Anger in a Workplace