True LIFE
For Pete, talking about his problems has been like opening a release valve
Pete ran the London Marathon to give back to the charity that helped him
people to help you through, is stunning. My journey was minuscule compared to others, but just being there was a privilege. Since the marathon, there have been good times and bad times. I’ve had a variety of medication – literally from A to Z, amitriptyline to zopiclone, with many others in between. I’ve put on a lot of weight as a side-effect, but I’d rather wear out clothes than my family. It’s strange to say, but I think that depression has improved me. I value every day I have with my family; we have more time together now, and it’s precious. I’ve seen a psychotherapist, gained new understanding, and have been able to face some of my demons. Talking made an incredible difference. It’s like a release valve. I was open about my struggles to my male friends. I wish I had talked many years earlier.
The dark bubbles you bottle up inside will go flat if you just let them out More people than I could have imagined have been open about their frailties – but only after I opened up. We need to openly discuss mental health. As a man, I was always told not to – and suffered as a result. It shouldn’t be that way. There’s no shame, and that’s why I wanted to be open about my issues. I shared my story on Facebook and
Instagram recently, and was overwhelmed by the positive response. It was wonderful to get nice messages and support from friends. I found it was much better to open up than to man up. My illness used to make me feel like a bad Daft Punk song: ‘Older, Greyer, Fatter, Weaker’. It made me doubt everything, and destroyed my life. I’ve used alcohol, drugs, caffeine and promiscuity to try to block it out. I should have opened up. Those dark bubbles that you bottle up
inside will just go flat if you let them out. There are ups and downs, but now I don’t have to hide. The dark moments are surrounded by lots of light. I’ve been so lucky to have incredible support at home and at work, people who have guided me through and make me glad to be who I am. My illness doesn’t define me, or own me. Being open has helped me to understand the illness and myself. Opening up wasn’t easy, but it’s the best thing I did.
Our Expert Says Pete’s journey shows that being strong is not about bottling things up and holding them in, it’s about having the courage to let yourself experience what is inside you. Social norms are changing, and it’s good that we are encouraged to speak more openly about our problems. It’s great to hear how well supported Pete has been; I wonder what support readers might access if they let the people around them in. Fe Robinson | MUKCP (reg) Psychotherapist and couples counsellor
May 2019 • happiful • 49