Julie’s story “I didn’t realise I wasn’t OK until later, when I was OK. I was too busy putting one foot in front of the other,” Emily explains. Motherhood can be the most beautiful experience, but for every moment of beauty, there are times of tears, angst, self-doubt, and utter exhaustion. It can be a gruelling journey, mentally, physically, and emotionally; catapulted into unknown territory with the responsibility of a new life on our shoulders. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. BABY BLUES, PND – AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN Everyone has heard of the baby blues – the first week or two after birth when approximately 70% of women have labile emotions – and there is awareness of postnatal depression (PND). But Professor Susan Ayers, a health psychologist and cognitive behaviour therapist, notes in the journal Perspectives, that “many more women suffer from moderate symptoms, which can still be distressing, and have a negative impact on women and their families. Mental health and illness are therefore not categorical, but more like a continuum from positive mental health to severe illness”. A wide range of other conditions also exist, including stress and anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as postnatal psychotic disorders. And of course, fathers’ and partners’ mental health can also be affected before, during, or after childbirth, too. Yet the stigma attached to asking for help, combined with a ‘get on with it’ attitude, no doubt features highly among the reasons not to act. One woman who was troubled by this exact stigma is Catherine. “I was in a constant low mood, almost a numbness – like life was going on around me, but I wasn’t a
part of it…” Catherine explains. “I remember sitting in our living room, and just staring out of the window while my husband cooked, sorted the children out, and cleaned up.” Rather than getting help, she hoped that if she waited long enough, the feelings would pass. Five months after the birth, her husband insisted she went to the doctor. Catherine subsequently began cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) once a week, but only over the phone, having turned down group sessions for fear of being seen. Catherine worried about being judged, but despite these worries says: “It was such a relief to offload everything that was tormenting me on a daily basis.” SERVICES AND AWARENESS: GETTING BETTER, BUT STILL ‘PATCHY’ Perinatal mental health awareness and services have made huge improvements in recent years, thanks to £365 million in government funding committed over five years in 2015, research, a cross-party parliamentary group called 1001 Critical Days, and the creation of the Maternal Mental Health Alliance (MMHA) by Dr Alain Gregoire. Social media and blogs also allow parents a platform to share their experiences – a #PNDhour event takes place on Twitter every Wednesday at 8pm.
Julie had severe PND eight years ago after having her second child, and came close to taking her own life. In the months after the birth, Julie “lived day to day, hour to hour, not knowing how to live”. She woke up one morning and couldn’t leave her bedroom, she couldn’t speak, or eat, or function. A trip to the doctor led to a referral for emergency counselling, which had a sixweek wait. Her parents took care of her baby, and set up a rota system with her husband. Julie remembers that she “hated life, every second of every day”. Three days before her son turned one, she found herself by a cliff contemplating ending her life. Thankfully, she rang her dad (she thinks), and drove home. The next day she was under specialist care at a mother and baby unit, in a psychiatric hospital that she credits with saving her life. When Julie was at her lowest, she kept asking herself what she would do if she got better. The answer? Live abroad. Today, she celebrates five years abroad, and earning enough to support her family has meant her husband was able to leave his job and follow his own dream of becoming a primary school teacher.
I was in a constant low mood, almost a numbness – like life was going on around me, but I wasn't a part of it… Julie’s baby son Charlie with his big sister Katie