LaurieP.JournalEntry#8
Beingtoldyouarespecialandactuallybeingspecialaretwocompletelydifferentthings.
Forexample,yourthird-gradeteachertellingyouhowgiftedandspecialyouarebecause you’vereadfasterthantheotherkidsisnotthesamethingasthelonelinessandpeculiarity ofseeingthedead.Iwouldknow,asIhaveexperiencedthisfirsthand.YoumaythinkthatI possesssuchanextravagant,powerfulgift,andwhilenotentirelywrong,thedifficultyof keepingsuchsecretsisnotsomethingjustanypersoncando.Imustkeepmygiftasecret forthefearthatthepeopleinwhitecoatswilllockmeupandneverletmeout.So,Ihave polishedmyskillsthroughouttheyearsandlied.IliedwhentheyaskedmeifIam‘seeing anythingIshouldn’t,’orifI‘needarefillofmedication,’becausethispowerisnot somethingthatcanbeunderstoodbytheaveragemind.Ittakesthewisdomofhigher beingssuchasmyselftotrulygraspthegiftinwhichIhold.Isharethiswithyourreader, becauseIwishtobeunderstoodbytheregularhuman.Iwishtosharemygiftwiththe world,toberecognizedandtoexistinasocietyinwhichIamnotostracizedformypower butacceptedforit.So,despitetheriskItakebywritingthis,myreader,Iprevailand concludemyprosefortoday.PerhapsImaycontinuemywritingifDoctorStevensallows metoresumethispagenextsession.
Doctor’snotes:Laurie’sjournalentrieshaven’tchangedsinceheradmissiontothehospital, aswellasthecontinuationofdistrustinourone-on-onesessions.Recommendingmore socializationtotheotherpatientsduringcreativehour.Endnotes.
Recorded04/18/2016-----SaintMaria’sSanitorium,Hartfield,VA
GabriellaHughes’26
AlexisMulato’26
Autumn
Autumnbreezebrushedthroughmyhair
Teasingthebackofmyneckwithchills
Crispautumnleavesdottedthefadedgreengrass
Attributingtothedull,tiredsky
Throughthefield,aflashofyellow
Blondhair,broughttolight
Stepsgrewcloser,myfixationunwavering
Deepoceaneyesmetmydarkmuddyones
Ibegantowalk;hemetmehalfway
“Youarehere.”
Hedidnotspeak.
Ilookedupathisflawlessface,
Asurrealfeelingofdéjàvuovercomingme
Asmyeyeslockedintohis,
Everythingelsefadedtoasoftbuzz
Nothingwassaid
Yetamillionmessagespassedbetweenus
“Whyareyouhere?”
Hedidnotspeak.
Hesimplyturnedaway
Rippinghiseyesfrommine
Hebegantowalk
Ifollowedhispath
Togetherwepassedbywitheringtrees
Thecrunchofleavesbeneathmyfeet
Swallowedupallothersound
Hesuddenlystopped,
Turningtofaceme
“Wherehaveyoubroughtme?”
Hedidnotspeak.
Hiseyesburnedintomine
Therewasamessagethatpassed
Throughthecoldairthatseparatedus
I’msorry
Confusionconsumedmyeverythought
Hethenturnedtotheside
Andtiltedhisgazedownward
Iproceededtodothesame
Iexpectedtoseedyingleaves,
Butinsteadsawagrayslabofrock
Thereweresymbolsinscribed
Idirectedmyfocustothem
Symbols
Letters Words
AName
Anamewaswrittenonthisstone
Butthiscouldnotbe
Iredirectedmygazetohis
Whichwaswatchingmewithsadness
“Whyisyournameonthisrock?”
Hedidnotspeak.
Hesimplypointedbehindme
Iturnedtoseeapumpkin
Withafaceengravedonitssurface
Solemnblackdestroyedhopefulorange
SomeonemusthavemadethisforHalloween.
Halloween.
Sirens.
Screams.
Sorrow. Iturnedbacktohim,
Buthewaswalkingaway
Ihurriedtocatchuptohim
Ireachedouttograbhisarm,
ButtheonlythingIfeltwaschillingair
Heturnedtomeandstoodthere, Justoutofreach
Awhispered,“Why?”
Hedidnotspeak, Buthiseyessaiditall
Thisinonesimpleword, Goodbye. Asdazzlingoceansabandoneddarkness, Icameupforair
Theblinkofaneye,
Andhehaddisappeared
Theonlysighttobeseen
Werehelplessleavesonjadedgrass
Theonlyfeelingtobefelt Waseverythingandnothing
Allatonce. Hehadmetmehalfway
Betweenimaginationandreality
Betweenmemoryandmoment
Betweenpastandpresent
Asthelastraysofwarmsunlight
Disappearedbeneaththehorizon, Darknessengulfedthesky
Paintingeverysightasolemnshadeofnothingness
Nomorebuoyanthairorsparklingeyes
Nomoregiddyforgetfulnessornaïvejoy
Summerhasleftme
Inmyinevitableautumn.
CeceliaTropiano’28
LostintheDepthsofUtopia
IsaidIwantedparadise. Whocouldhaveknownwhatlaidbeneath thebeautywithaprice. Itwasnolaurelwreath.
Whatwaswaitingiscolderthanice.
Ichosethispath,sotherewasnoreasontoseethe.
Breatheinthegreatbigblue.
Don’tlookatthedeepestdarkestshadows.
Breatheinthegreen,greenplantssproutedanew.
Don’tlookbelowthegroundattherootsandburrows.
Breatheinthewindflyingpasttheboatasyouenjoytheview.
Don’tfocusontheteartakingusdownbelow.
Theboatremainsinaspotsolitarilysittingamongtheocean. Aperfectplaceawayfromtheimpendingstorm.
Thestormcomesfromsomewheredeepinsidewithoutanotion. Whileitgrowsgreaterthanbefore,nocloudsseemtoform.
Theworldmovesarounditinslowmotion.
Theideaofjoiningtheboatfar,farbelowmakesmewarm.
Myvoicefaltersthinkingofwhatmylastwordsshouldbe
astheshadowswelcomemefromthesharpestpointofthecliff.
Thethoughtsswirlingroundandroundmakeithardtosee whatiswaitingformebeyondeachmomentofwhatif.
Eachkeyunlocksanotherpieceoffleetingtimeinthesafehavenbehindme fromthefeverdreamofmypast.Twostepsforwardandeverythinggoesstiff.
Thebreathtakingbluecreepsnear unliketherisingofthetideuponthesmoothshores.
Ashatterspiralsthrougheveryfiberofmefeelingclear withthegreatsmackintomychest.Ittore deepintothedarknessofmymortalfleshfullofsilencedfear. Littledidtheyknowitwasalllostintheroughcurrentsofmymind.
FrancescaDeitzel’27
Sophia Savino
TheUnchosenChoice
Beep,thehospitalmachinesounded.
Myhandswereshaky,andmyheartpounded.
Theyrolledhimaway,afterhislastbreath.
Iknewthedaywascoming,buttherealityofhisdeath hitmelikeatruck.
Thelackofhispresencehasfinallystruck.
Yesterdaywashisbirthday, finallyeighteen.
"I’llmakeitpastmyday”,mybrotherwouldsay.
Awishfulthought:Oh,hewassobrave,yetsogreen.
Thatdaysmiledathimwhileallitdidwasweigh.
Ikepttomyselftonotcauseascene.
Icelandpassedanewlaw.
OneIviewedasoff-puttingandasmoreofaflaw.
“Ateighteen,youbecomeanorgandonor.”
Afull-blowndonation,notjustaloaner.
Thegovernment’sslimyfingersarepluckingthechoiceaway. Emotion?No,they’dneverbetray.
Deathhuggedmybrother’stendersoul.
Soul-to-soulourmindsandheartsmet.
Metwiththesuddenrealizationofourplan’shole.
Wholeofourrealitywasset.
Setandwrittentounfold,
Unfoldthathisbodywouldn’tbeburiedbutouttoget.
MymothercriedNo,no,no.
Idon’tbelievethisinformationInowknow.
Heisstillwithus.
Noquestions?Noanswers?Notimetodiscuss?
Hecan’tbeadonor.
No,please,we’rehisrightfulkeeperandowner.
KendallDeLuca’27
TheCallandCostoftheVoid
Hecountsandhecountsthedaysthatpass.
Athousandtimesithasflipped,thishugehourglass.
Ticksonthewallandaslashinthedirt, achoicetomake,somethingtohurt.
Grandeurandglory,theidealstheytwist, aletter:Drafted;clenchedinhisfist.
Awarthatends,adeadmanalive,
Hewalksandhetalksbuthismindisahive.
Thebeesandthewasps,theywanttogetout, buttheycan’thearhimwhenhewhispers,theycan’thearhimwhenheshouts.
So,hestaysquiet,andtakescareofhisownthoughts, andlistenstowhattheythink,thehavesandthehave-nots.
Athousandmenstandthereandgetreadyfortheirfight. Theylaughandtheychant,fortheyareintheright.
Athousandmenstormdownthere;theywillbeokay. Theyarehealthyandtheyareyoung;theydon'tneedtopray.
Athousandmenseethetruth,whatwarisreallyabout: itpulseswithbarbarity;athousandmencryout.
Hewantstogohome,seehisbed,seehismother.
Mendropleftandright:amanhecalledhisbrother. Theairreekedsourblood,astenchhecanstillsmellnow.
Loud,thenquiet,hebumbledoffsomehow. Blazingstreaksstreamandstripethesilentsky, athousandlonelysoulswhocouldn’tsaygood-bye.
Theytellhimhe’llforget thethingshetookcareof,thethingsheregrets.
Sometimeshestaresandseesnothingforyardsandyards, whilehebattlesforwhathekeepsinside,thethingsthatheguards.
Sometimeshecan’tseethetruth;thememoriesheblends, theymuddleinhisbraininawarthatneverends
MaeveDurkin’27
KathleenKudes
Lookingoutatopportunity, infinitepathstochoose.
Freedomsinksdeepintome: alifewithnothingtolose. Somanyoptionslaybeneath. OnlyIwearsuchuniqueshoes.
TheJourneyofChoice
Chancesbothsmallandlarge flickerlikestarsinmymind.
Thequestionregardingmyowndischarge: WhatexperiencewillIfind?
AgainstsocietalconstraintsIbarge, Noindependenceleftbehind.
Thewindwhispersalowandsteadysound, avoicethatstirswithinmychest.
NostrongerpeaceI’veeverfound, Itsrhythmputsmythoughtstorest.
Nomorewallstokeepmebound,
nopressuretellingmewhat’sbest.
Above,thecloudsdriftwildandfree, unchainedfromanyplace.
TheyechowhatIlongtobe–noborders,justwidespace.
Theskyspeaksstronglyinsideme, remindingmeIcontrolmypace.
Themountainsriseliketoweringwalls, asIfeelthemcallmyname.
EachoneIclimb,aburdenfalls–Notwopathsarethesame.
Therocksbelowreveallife’scalls,
Theventureissolelyminetoclaim.
Thepathunfoldsatapeacefulpace, eachstepisachoicethatleadsmefree.
Norushingnow,nocrowdedrace, justopenskiesandlandtosee.
Thejourney’smine,and,withmuchgrace, Ichoosewhatliesaheadofme.
CourtneyGallagher’27
ThePumpkinPrince
EveryFallallofthechildrenandcitizensinOrangeHollowgetexcitedandgiddyfor Halloween,butnotforthereasonsyouwouldsuspect.OrangeHollowisthehomeof Halloween.PeopletravelfromallacrossthecountrytothislittletowninIllinoisduringthe fallseason.Theyhavevariousfamoustraditions,includingthepumpkinsmashwherethe wholetowngatherstogetheratthelocalchurch,St.Benedict.Whilegatheredatthechurch everyonebringstheirfavoritepumpkinoftheseasonandsmashesitintheparkinglot.This soundssillyandanticlimactic,butthatisfarfromthecase.Everyyearatthepumpkin smash,thePumpkinPrincecomesandleaveslittletreatsandgoodiesonthecars.Afterthe communityisdonesmashingtheirpumpkins,theyallheadbacktotheircarstogocollect thecandyandHalloweentreats.PeoplearealwaystryingtofindthePumpkinPrince,but heisalwaysstealthyandunseen,untiltheyear1997.
Itwasaneeriefallmorning,October28th.OrangeHollow,withpreparingfortheir infamouspumpkinsmash.Thewholetownwasawaitingtheevent,butspecificallyGracie andBrianMapleton.Thesesiblingswereineighthgrade,andeagertospotthepumpkin prince.Thetwoknewithadneverbeendonesotheywereawareitwouldnotbeaneasy task,buttheywereupforthechallenge.OnthemorningofOctober28,GracieandBrian weresupposedlyheadedtoschool.Thetwoofthemlived3blocksawayfromthelocal middleschool,OrangeMiddle.Therefore,theyweretrustedtowalk.AlthoughGracieand Brianwereallegedlygoingtoschool,theyhaddifferentplansinmind.Thetwoofthem weredevisingaplantofindthePumpkinPrince.Thiswasgoingtobeaweebittricky consideringnoonehaseverseenhimandnooneeverhearsanythingabouthimbesides theeveningbeforeHalloween!Althoughthischallengeseemednearlyimpossible,Gracie andBrianwereincrediblydetermined.
Thatmorningat7:30thetwowishedtheirmomagooddayandheadedoutfortheir mission.Graciehadnocluewheretostart,butBrianhadsomeideasspewinginhishead. Briandecidedthebestideawastogointothewoods,Graciedisagreed,andthoughtthe ideawasstupid,butBriantendedtobeveryheadstrongandwouldnotgiveup.Thetwoof themendedupheadingintotheirlocalwoodsandjustshouting,“HelloPumpkinPrince!” likeabunchofbuffoons.Brianwaspositive,thisishowhewouldlocatethePumpkin Prince.After2hoursofaimlesslywalkingaroundthewoodsyelling,thetwofinallyfelt defeated.
BrainandGracieheadedintotowntogogetanorangebagelfromthelocalbakery. Thiswaskindofriskybusinessconsideringtheyweresupposedtobeinschool,butthey neededalittlemoodbooster.BrianandGraciewalkedthroughthetrailbacktotown.It tookthemabout30minutes,andtypicallytheywouldcomplainaboutthat,butduetothe seasonthewoodslookedlikeamagicalbeautifulplace.GracieandBriancouldseetheend
ofthetrailandthebustleoftown,butjustastheywereretreatingfromthewoods,they heardsomething abigloudsneeze!Gracieimmediatelyturnedaround,andBrianwas confusedhewasnotasobservant.Graciewasnotexcitedaboutthis.Itscaredher.Brian couldtellshewasunsettledandaskedwhatitwas.Shesaidthetypicalscaryresponseof“I don’tthinkwe’realone”.Brianwouldhavefoundthisscaryiftheyweren’t10feetfromthe middleoftown,buthewantedtoknowwhoitwas.Ittookaheavyamountofconvincing, butBrainfinallywasabletobribeGracieintotheforest.Hepromisedtopayforherbagel whentheyweredoneexploring.
GracieandBriandidn’tknowexactlywherethesneezecamefrom,buttheyheard thebusesrustlingtotheirright.Thetwoleftthetrailandheadedintotheunknown.Gracie wasgrowingimpatient,butBrianwasdeterminedtoseewhowasthere.After20more minutesofventuringofftrail,thetwoofthemdecideditwastimetoheadbackbeforethey gotlost.Theyhadaccepteddefeat.Thetwoofthemwereabsolutelydepressedabouttheir defeat.Theywereabsolutelysilentonthewayback.Howcouldtheybesonaïve?Whilein theirsilentreflection,Graciesawsomethingoutofthecornerofhereye.Itwasalittlehut thatlookedalmostlikealogcabin.ShehesitatedtopointitouttoBrainconsideringhow longtheyhadbeenoutthereandtheirlackofluck,butshedecideditwasworthchecking out.Thetwoapproachedthecabinwithcaution,notknowingwhatlayinside.Theywere bracingthemselvestofindsomeonebutwouldneverhaveexpectedtoseewhattheydid. Gracieperchedherselfuponaloglyingonthegroundtoattempttoseewhatwasinside throughalittlewindowbeforetheywentfullyin.Graciewas5’5sothiswasalittletricky consideringthewindowwasabout6feetup,butshemanagedtogetapeek.Whatshesaw insideshecouldhaveneveranticipated.
Itwasamansittingcrisscrossapplesauceonthefloor.Insidethecabinwasa television Itlookedlikethefirstmodelevermade.Therewasalsoasmallmattress,some books,and7massivebarrelsfullofcandy.Theoddestpartofthisscenewasnotwhatwas aroundtheman.Itwaswhathewaswearing.Themanlookedaboutsix-footthreegiveor take.Itwashardtotellsincehewassittingdown,andhehadonatophatthatresembleda magicianwithapumpkinstemontopthatappearedasifitwashotgluedthere.Hewas alsowearingalongorangecapewithablacklacebottom.Graciequicklymotionedfor Briantocomeover.ShejustmayhavefoundthePumpkinPrinceafterall.Graciegestured confusinghandmotionstoBrianafterhepeeredinthewindow.Thetwoofthemdecided thebestoptionwastocryouthisname.Hemaybestartlediftheyweretowalkinwithout himbeingawareoftheirpresence.
Thetwoweresilentlyarguingoverwhowasgoingtobetheonetocalloutthename whenfinally,Braingotfedupandjustbelteditout.Themaninstantlyjumpedupand startedlookingallaround.Hewasstrugglingtolocatewherethevoicewascomingfrom
giventhefactthathecouldn’tseethem.Afterhefranticallylookedaround,heheardthem approachingthefrontdoor.Thedoorhadnolockduetothelackofvisitors,soBrainand Gracieprancedrightin.Thetwoimmediatelybombardedhimwithquestions,butMr. PumpkinPrincewasnothavingit.Theonlyresponsehemutteredouttotheirquestions wasayestobeingthePumpkinPrinceashewavedhiscapebackandforth.Afterten minutesofBrianandGracietalkingovereachotheraskingquestionsandexplaininghow theygotthere,theprinceinterrupted.Hesaidthatiftheystoppedtalking,hewouldtell themhisstory.GracieandBriangotsogiddyoverthisandinstantlyfellsilent.The PumpkinPrincestartedoffbygivingadisclaimerthatthisisalongstory,sotheyjustmust buckleinandgetreadyforthetaleofalifetime.Heofferedthemsomecandyfromabarrel inthecorner;hegotprettyexcitedaboutbeingabletogiveoutcandywhileinview.
TheprincestartedhisstoryoffinOrangeHollow,manymoonsagowhenhewas justalittlelad.Hesaidthathehadalwaysbeenfascinatedwithmagic.Itwashisdreamto becomeapristineprofessionalmagician.Hewentonaboutthegloryandexcitementof magicforaboutahalfhour,talkingaboutthenecessarysuspenseandbeautyinagood trick.Hesoundedsoinsanelypassionate,andthatjustmadethenextpartofhisstorya seriousbummer.Hisparentswereunfortunatelystrugglingtomakemoneyandcouldnot fundhismagicaldreams Therefore,theywereincrediblyunsupportiveandshutdownthe ideaofhimgrowinguptobeagreatmagician.
ThePumpkinPrincewasdeterminedandtriedeverything.Hewouldstandonstreet cornersinhiscapeandhatbeggingformoney.Hewouldhandoutflyersatschoolforhis cause,andsomanyotherattemptsweremadetomakehiscareersuccessful. Unfortunately,oncethepumpkinPrincereachedtheageof18,hehadbeentryingto pursuehispassionforsolonghegaveup.ForyearsthePumpkinPrincehatedjoy, happiness,magic,andillusions.Heattemptedtoridhimselfofallhismagicalcharacter traits.Itobviouslydidnotwork.
ThePumpkinPrincesaidthatHalloweenhadalwaysbeenhisfavoriteholiday, whichwasnotsurprisingconsideringwherehegrewupandhisloveformagic.Hesaidthat hehadbeenbottlinguphispassionforthejoyofillusionandHalloweenfunforsolongthat eventuallyhedecidedtochannelhisloveinadifferentway.Theprincehadbeenhomeless forabout5yearsafterheranawayfromhismagichatingfolks.Heeventuallybuiltthis cabinhimself,andthat’swhenhehadthebrightideaofbecomingthePumpkinPrincethat everyoneknowsandlovestoday.Hegotsofedupwithbeingmiserablethataweekbefore Halloweenprior,hestockeduponcandy,expectingtrickortreaters.Noonecame.This madehimincrediblydepressedanddiscouragedonceagain.That’swhenthebrightidea poppedintohishead,tochannelillusionandmagicintothistraditionofdispersingcandy. Theprinceplottedallyearlongonhowtopullthisoffafterhisepicfailure.Hedecidedto
putbannersallovertowninasecretdisguise,hiscape,hat,andamask.ThePumpkin Princestartedwhatthepumpkinsmashisnow
GracieandBrianweredelightedandsadtoheartheprince'struth.Initially,Gracie andBrianhadplannedtobragaboutmeetingthePumpkinPrince,butafterthis interaction,theyhadnourgetodoso.Gracie,Brian,andthePumpkinPrincespenttime talkingafterhisstory.Theyaskedfollow-upquestions,andheevenshowedthemsome magictrickswithsupplieshe’dcollectedovertheyears.RightbeforeGracieandBrianwent togogetthosebagels,heleftthemwithsomewordsofwisdom.Theprincetoldthem “Illusionismeanttobeconfusing Magicismeanttobespectacular.Mischiefismeantto puzzleyou.Don’tgosearchingfortoomanyanswersaboutthingsyoumaynotwantto know.Sometimesthemysteryisthebeautifulpart.”
AnneDever’25
ABird’sEyeView
Fromupabove,theworldlooksbright, Acanvaspaintedinpurelight.
Thecitiesshine,theriversgleam, Itallfeelslikeaperfectdream.
Butzoomingin,youstarttosee, Thatallisnotquiteasitshouldbe.
Theworldbelowiscalmandstill,
Likeglassthatneverbreaksorspills. Withbuildingsbrightineveryhue, Andwatermirrorscatchingyou.
Thesmilesarewide,theeyesarefake, Andunderneath,theheartsjustache.
Fromhighabove,thesky’ssoclear, Theworldseemsperfect,freefromfear.
Butwhenyoustepintothecrowd, Thecracksarereal;theyspeakoutloud.
Thelaughter’sloud,thesmilesarewide, Butdeepinside,thetruthcan’thide.
Itallseemsperfectfromthisheight,
Likestarsthatsparklethroughthenight.
ButasIlandandseeupclose,
Thebeautyfades,thetruthisgross.
Thebuildingblocksofliesarethere,
Tomaketheworldfeelright,butspare.
Fromfaraway,theworld’ssosweet,
Likecandylaidoutonthestreet.
Butwhenyouwalkandfeeltheground,
Yourealizethatthetruthisfound.
Theworldisfake,afragileglass,
Andallitsbeautywillnotlast.
Fromuphere,everythingseemsright,
Likestarsthatsparkleinthenight.
Butcloserstill,Istarttohear
Thewhisperedlies,thehiddenfear.
It’sperfectonlyfromafar,
Butupclose,it’snotwhatyouare.
.
GabriellaGrosso’27
VivianLipsky’26
Toddler,3yearsold
FadingSteps
Istareatmylaceslikesnakesonthefloor
AknotofloopsIcan’texplore
Ipulltootight,thenletitallfree
Shoesonthewrongfeet,Icanguarantee
IsticktoVelcrow,becausethat'sallIknow
So,mymomwalksmetomybus,movingniceandslow
ElementarySchool,6yearsold
Velcrobetraysme,Imustlearnhowtotie
Asmyfriendsfinallysucceed,Ijustsitandcry
Momshowsmeslow,loopoverloop
Itry,thensigh,andthrowtheminaswoop
Fingersfumble,flap,andfall
Butoneday,Iwon'tneedheratall.
Age13,TeenYears
NowIdon’tthink-Ijusttieandgo
Lacestight,whatdoyaknow!
It’ssecondnaturelikeI'mbrushingmyteeth
Iseemybusoutthewindowandletoutasighofrelief
BackpackswingingasIracedownthenarrowdrive
Coldairbitingastinysnowflakesfall,butIfeelsoalive!
Age30,Adulthood
Coffeeinhand,Ikneelbymyson'sside
Hetugsatthelaces,eyesopenedwide
Iguidehishandswithpatienceandgrace
Loopoverloop,webothembrace
Thelaceswhisper,“you’vebeenherebefore”,
AsIrushofftotheofficedoor
Age80,elderly
Istareatmylacesbrainfeelslikemush,
Forgotwhattodo,butthere’snoneedtorush
Mysonkneelsandsays,“Momit'salright,”
loopsthemupquickly,andpullsthemrealtight
Itaughthimonce,backin‘92,
Myhandsforget,buthisneverdo
Age90,Finaldays
Hekneelsagainsosteadyandslow,
ButIforgothisname-Ijustdon’tknow
Hisvoiceisfamiliar,yetstrangeinmyear,
AloveIonceknewnowcloudedwithfear
Mymemoriesareghosts,theyhaunt,andtheyflee
Likeshadowsatdusk,theynolongerfollowme
AveKenefic’27
TidingsofGoodbye
Outside NYC
Iwokeupalone.Iwasalittlebitconfused,usuallyAnneisbymysidewhenIwake up.Ishouldmention,Anneismywife.Sheisthekindest,mostcaringwomanIhaveever known.Soofcourse,whensheisnothome,Imisshermorethansheknows.
Myconfusionwasinterruptedbythecomfortingscentofhotchocolateand pancakes.Anneknowsmefartoowell.Icouldrecognizeherhotchocolateandpancakes anywhere,astheyaremyfavorite.Shemusthaveleftthemformebeforeshescurriedoff thismorning.Isuddenlyheardaknockatmydoor!Sheishome!Great! “Goodmorning,it’s timetogodownstairsandeatbreakfast,”anunfamiliarfacesaidsoftly.
Igetmyslippersonandwalkoutwiththewoman.Ifigureditwasprobablyoneof Anne’sfriendshelpingwhilesheisout.Iwalkdownthewreathcoveredhalls.Thehall smellsofChristmastrees.Thatexplainsit!AnneisoutChristmasshopping,andshemust haveleftmebreakfast.ThewomansitsmedownatmykitchentableandinsistsIeat.But whenItookmyfirstbiteofthepancake,ittastednothinglikemydearestAnne’s. “Did Annechangetherecipe?Thesetastedifferent,andsheknowshowmuchIlovemy pancakes,”Iaskthewoman,pervadedwithdoubt.
Shedoesnotspeakback.Shelookedatme,hereyesfilledwithwhatlookedtobe regret,andputherhandonmyshoulder.Ibrusheditoffanddecidedtocontinuetoeat Anne’spancakesanddrinkhercocoanomatterwhatrecipesheused!Thewomancomes backandtellsmeitistimetogo.MaybeAnnewashome!
New York City, NY
Iwokeupbrightandearly.Ihadatontodotoday.ItwasChristmastimeafterall!I swiftlychangeintosomepresentableclothesandheaddownstairs.Imakesomebreakfast, leavesomeouttoo,andthenIleave.IwasheadedtoTimesSquaretoday,tohitallthebest shops.Ihadsomuchtodo,andsolittletime.Ihadtogetgroceries,Christmasgifts,andget myone-of-a-kindnecklacefixed.Itwasthemostbeautifuldiamondnecklace,andwhatI heldmostsacredtome,itwasmymother’s,anditiscompletelyoneofakind.
Igetmyselfoutofthatreminiscenttranceandgetbacktoreality.Istillhadalotto dotoday.IhopontheSubwaytoTimesSquare.
Outside NYC
Thewomanescortsmetoaspaciousroom,filledwithmyneighbors!Iwasso excited!IthadbeenagessinceIhadseenthemlast.Butmymindimmediatelyflewtothe thoughtofmybelovedAnne.Shewouldnotwanttomissthis.Ihopesheishomesoon,but IknowhowseriouslyshetakesChristmastime,soitcouldbehoursbeforeshereturns.I takemyseatnexttomyfriendDon.“Goodmorning,Don,howareyou?”Iask.“Mynameis Michael,butIamgood,”heresponds.IcouldhaveswornhisnamewasDon,butitwas probablyjustafoolishmistake.Ialwaysmixupfacesanyway.WewerehandedChristmas Carolbingocards.Ijustthoughtabouthowkinditwasformyneighborhoodtohostafun bingogame!ThegamebeginsandIstartoffstrong.Ialreadyhadthreespotsgone,onlytwo leftuntilIcanwin!Ihearanotherfamiliarbeat, “JingleBells,JingleBells…”
IimmediatelyplacedmymarkeronJingleBells.Iaminittowinit!DonorMichael orwhoeverheislooksatmycard,andinformsmethesongwasJingleBells,notJingleBell rock. “IalreadyknowthatMichael,JingleBellsisaclassic!”Isayfilledwithconfusion. Michaellooksdownatmycardagainandpoints,“WellyoumarkedoffJingleBellRock, buddy.”HowcouldImessthatup?Imusthavenotseenthefullsongname.Anotherfoolish mistakeIpresume.IjustwishAnnewereheretocheckmymistakesandpreventthisfrom happening!
New York City, NY
ThefirstthingIdidoncearrivinginManhattanwasgotothebestJewlerIknow.I neededthisnecklacefixed.Iwentinandaskedthemanworkingifhecouldfixthebroken chain.Heassuresmeitisnoproblemandcomplimentsmynecklace,sayingitwasoneof themostgorgeouspieceshehaseverseen.Despitehiscompliment,Iamfilledwithdespair. Itisalwayshardaroundtheholidays.ImakemywayoutoftheJewler,andIfeelmorethan determinedtogetmyerrandsdone,soIcanbehomeatareasonabletime.Iwouldhateto leavemyfamilywaiting.
Outside NYC
Itisnowalittlepastnoon,andthesamewomanhasbeenstickingbymysideall day.IhavetriedaskingwhichoneofAnne’sfriendssheis,butsheremainsunresponsive.I askher,“DidAnneleaveuslunch?”“No,noshedidnot.ButIwouldbehappytomakeyou something,anythingyouwant!” “IjustwantAnnetocomehome,”Irespondwithobvious regretinmytone.“Youwillseeheragain,butrightnowcomewithme.”
Ifollowthewomanintomyfoyerandcatchaglimpseofabeautifullyilluminated Christmastree.Thelightsarerainbows-justhowAnnelikesthem.Theornamentsaregold andsparkling.AnneandIhavealwayslovedChristmastrees,Ijustwishshewerehometo seethisincrediblyfestivetree.ThereisnothingshelovesmorethanChristmasspirit.I noticedthattherewasnostarontopofthetree.AnneandIalwaysaddastar.Thestar.Our star.
Myeyesbegintogetthatwarmfeeling,andmythroatwellsup.Icanfeelthetears thatareyettoexplode,andthenIlookup.Therestillwasnotastar,butanangelinstead.It wasdressedinwhiteandgoldandhadthemosteye-catchinghalo.Theangelremindsme ofAnne.Shetrulyisanangel.Ihopeshewillcomebackhomesoonsoshecanseetheangel too.Iknowhowmuchsheisgoingtoappreciateit.
Thewomannoticedthatmysorrowhadchangedtocontent.Shesmiledatmeand walkedmefurtherdownthehall.WemadeourwaytoAnneandI’sroom.Shehandedmea bagofCandyCanesandtoldmetoenjoymyselfandhavesomealonetime.ButIdidnot wanttobealone.IjustwantedAnnetocomehome.ThatiswhenIgotmygreatidea!I searchedourwholeroomuntilIfoundthebox.TheChristmasbox!IfoundAnneandI’s stockings!Ihungthemfromthecurtainrodandgottowork.Ifilledherstockingwith candycanesandanyotherlittlegoodiesIcouldfind.
Iwentoutintothefoyerandsawajarofcaramels.ThoseareAnne’sabsolute favorites!Igrabahealthyhandfulofthemandheadbacktoourroom.Ifindapieceof paperandgettowriting,justasmallnoteforthewomanIlovemost.ItellherhowIlove hersoandhowIcannotwaitforthisChristmas,andmanymoretocome.
IgotomynightstandandlookatAnneandmyweddingphoto.Shelookedso beautiful.Fromherlusciouslonghairtoheryouthfulsmile,andevendowntothejewelry shewaswearing.IputonourfavoriteChristmasmovie-“It’saWonderfulLife”
IthasbeenourtraditionforaslongasIcanremembertowatchthisclassic Christmastaletogether.Iputitonandbegantowatch,stillwaitingforAnnetocomeback fromherdayout.Afterall,shehasbeenoutallday,shecouldnotbemuchlonger!
Myeyesstartedtofeelheavy,andsomethingfeltveryoff.Iwasalittlealarmedand grabbedthephonetocallAnne,askinghertocomehomenow.Ifeltmysensesbecome lighterandclosemyeyes… New York City, NY
ImademywaythroughthestreetsoftheUpperEastSide,completingallmy shopping!Therewasonlyonethinglefttodo,pickupmynecklace.Iknewitwouldbe difficult,buttheleastIcoulddowaskeepthenecklaceintopcondition.Islowlymademy waytotheshopandstoodatthedoorforlongerthanIshouldhave,completelyparalyzed.I finallyworkupthecouragetoconfiscatemymother’snecklace,despitethenew alterations.IgointotheJewlerandamgreetedbythesameman. “Heretopickupthat sweetnecklaceofyours?”heasksme. Abittakenaback,Irespond,“Yeah,couldIseeit?”
Hepullsitoutandhandsittome.Itlookedexactlythesame.Justliketheoriginal.It wascompletelyunnoticeablethatithadbeenbrokenandfixed.Ifeltsorelieved.Ipaidthe kindmanandthankedhimrepeatedly.Iheldthenecklaceclosetomyheartandwalkedout thedoor.ImustgethomesinceIhadbeenoutallday.Iwouldnotwantanyonetoworry.
Outside NYC
Iamwokenbyanoverwhelmingsenseofrelief,butinaway,Ihaveneverfeltit before.IlookupandseeAnne!Shefinallycamebackhome.Ipracticallyleaptoutofbed andrantogiveherthebiggesthug! “IhavemissedyousomuchAnne.Iamsogladyou camehome!”Iexclaimwithjoyinmyvoice. “Ihavemissed,youtoo;morethanyouknow,” shesayswiththatsameyouthfulsmilethatIfirstfellinlovewith.Ireluctantlyadmit,“I knowyouhaveonlybeenoutforaday,butittrulyfeltlikeaneternitywithoutyou.Iam justgladyouareherenow!”“I’mgladtoo,”shesaid,withoutlookingupatme.Itakeher handandsitherdownonthecouchandturnon“It’saWonderfulLife.”Ittrulyisa wonderfullifeIhavewiththemostincrediblewomanintheworld.
New York City, NY
Iwascompletelyandentirelyserene,enjoyingmywalktotheSubway,butwas interruptedbyaphonecallfromanunknownnumber.Ipickupandamgreetedbyan unfamiliarvoice,“AreyouDon’sdaughter?”themanruefullyasked.Myheartsankallthe waydowntomystomach.Myserenityandcontentmentwereshortlived,tosaytheleast. “Yes,yesIam,”Irespond,“Iamsosorrytohavetotellyouthis,butyourfather,Don, passedawaypeacefullyinhissleepthisafternoon.”
Ihungupthephoneandbegantosob.Iredirectedmywalkandjumpedonthefirsttrain outofthecity.
CourtneyKenefic’26
RavellaSmith’27
Timeisashadow
SandsofInnocence
Strippingusofouradolescenceasathief.
Itwhispersinourear
Andleavesbehindquietgrief.
Newtruthsbroughttomind,
Bringingabouttaintedbelief.
Timeisanhourglassturnedbyfate
Spillingchildhoodthroughitstinywaist.
Oncepureandgolden,
Nowlostinmomentswecannotretrace.
Grainbygrain,
Weslipthroughtimesofembrace.
Itdevoursyearsinseconds,
Abeastwithendlessfeast.
Feedingonourwonder,
Untildreamsaredeceased.
Thewarmcushionofchildhood
Foreverpast,gone,ceased.
Child,yourworldisbright,
Untouchedbyrue.
Youchasethewindwithopeneyes,
WhileIbeartruthsyouneverknew.
O’child,Iwatchwithachingheart,
SomuchIlongtosharewithyou.
Sorun,child,whilethesunstillbeams, Beforeduskstealsyourshininglight.
Chaseyourrecklessdreams.
Thoughtimemaycometoclipyourflight.
Eventhelastgrainmustfall,
Disappearingslowlyintothenight.
ShaunaMcCabe’27
Graveyard
Mymindisagraveyard,hauntedbyallthatoncewas.
Filledtothebrimwiththeghostsofmypast,
AndIkeepthemaroundjustbecause:
Youcan’tbeartoletgoofthegrief,
Whenitbecomestheonlythingyouhaveleft.
Andtimeisamischievousthief,
Thattakesallyouhavewithitshandthatisdeft.
Inonefellswoop,youcanloseitall,
Leavingonlywhatoncewastocushionyourfall.
Allthatisleftofmeismymind’shauntedcall,
Screamingofmeandmyghostsandthetimethatwestall.
Iclingtotheghostsofmypast,
OfwhenIhaditall,andmore.
Sincecrueltimehasleftmeforlast,
Leavingmehere,knockingondeath’sdoor.
Ifeelathomeinmygraveyard,
Atpeacewithonefootinthegrave.
Becausetimehastakenmyoldlifefromme,
Andlexistassurvival'sslave.
Anonymous
ButterflyCatcher
Anhourbeforethewedding.Ihavemyhairdoneinafancy,curvy,swervybun.Athinlayer ofmakeup.Andlast,themostimportant,thelighttealdress.AslightasafeatherwhileI walk,floatinginthewindlikeabutterfly.Ilovedthatdress.ItgavemeconfidencelikeIhad neverhadbefore.Ifoundmywings.Whenwewalkedintothebridalsuite,thefirstthing wesawwasmyauntinherwhitefloraldress.Shelookedamazing.AtthisweddingIwasa juniorbridesmaid,butIfeltlikeafull-grownwoman.Wegotpicturesandthenaworker's headpoppedintellingusthebridesmaidsandjuniorbridesmaidshadtogo.Weallsmiled aswewalkedoutoftheroom.Weallwalkeddownthefrontoftheaisleandstood.
First,thegroomsmenwalkeddownlikeabunchofmiddleschoolbuddies.Thenthe bridesmaids,thefull-grownbutterflies,butnotme.Ihadtowalkallbymyself,justalonely littlecaterpillarcreepingmywaydown.Isuddenlyhaddozensofbutterfliesswarming aroundmyhead,butmydressshooedthemawaylikeyouwouldafly.Ihadnothingto worryabout.Iwalkeddown.Mymomgavemeasubtlesmile,butitfeltlikethelongest walkofmylife.AndthenIgottotheendandspunaroundandsat.Tuckingmydressinlike aladyandturningaroundtoseemybrothercomedownwiththerings.Hejustlookedcute. Afterhehandedofftherings,hesatnexttomeandgiggledsaying,“Why’dyouwalkso fast”.Thenweallwentsilent.
Myunclestood,waiting.Hewassuitedinablackmatvestwithbrownleather suspendersunderneath,aperfectlyfoldedandironedbutton-upwhiteshirt,andformal graypants.Thenwesawher.Shewasgownedinaflowywhitedressthatlookedlikeitwas flyingwheneversheturnedaround.Theintricatedesigns,eachonemoreimpressivethan theonenexttoit.Shehadherwings,andIhadmine.Theyreadeachothertheirvows,put ontheirrings,andsaid“Ido",andwithloveintheairitwastimetoparty.
Theyinterlockedhands,onestepatatime,eachonesogracefulandelegant.When theygazedintoeachother'seyes,theworldstoppedmoving,andeveryonesawhow perfecttheywereforeachother.Theydanced Theyswayedlikenobodywaswatching Theytwirledlikenothingelsemattered,justeachother.
Aftertheslowdanceforthebrideandgroom,theDJencouragedeveryonetothe dancefloor.OnethingIwasinsecureaboutwasdancinginfrontofabunchofpeople.ButI rememberedhowniceIlookedinthemirrorandtookastepoffaith.Iwentout.Ifirsttried tohidemyselfinmycocoonasmuchaspossible,butthensomecolorsstartedtopeek through.
Igotinamode.Iwastheonewhowasinthemiddle.Mywingswerestartingto spread.Everyonewaslaughing,andIconnectedwithsomanypeople.Everyonewas startingtogetexhausted,andthat’swhenme,mymom,mydad,myuncle,andmyaunt werethenewrulersofthedancefloor.Laterinthenight,mydadcameuptomeand whispered,“Idon’tknowwhoyouareorwhatyoudidwithmydaughter,butI’mlovingit.” Wecreatedacircle,andeveryonewasdancingwithoneanother Itouchedmydress,
rubbeditinbetweenmyfingersandlookedup.Smiling,likeabeamofsunlightilluminating thedarkestcornersoftheroom,itfeltlikeIhadenteredanewphaseinmylife.
Iwillneverforgetthisnight.ItwaswhenIconnectedwithmyuncle.ItwaswhenI facedafearthatwasholdingmeback.ItwaswhenIhadthecouragetotakemynetand catchallthenervous,jitterybutterfliesandthentransformintomyownuniquebutterfly.I feltlikeIcoulddoanything,anditwouldn’tmatterallbecauseofthatlighttealdress.Iam nowagreatbigMonarchbutterflywhohasspreaditswingsandlearnedtofly.
KirstenWeiss’28
AnneDever
Echoes
ofaStolenVoice
Donottrusttheperspective. Itlies.
Blindspotsdrowntheirvictims.
Captivatedbyadoorthatlullabies, Invitingyouin.
Withthegrinofalock-sowiseitpraysonyourdemise.
Thesunhereisnotasun.
Itseemsliketheshiningwhiteknight.
Pretendingtooffershade,waitingforyoutoscorch.
Forcingitsvictimtorecite whathasneverbeentaught.
Theforever-threateninglight.
Seehowthekeysdissolveintorobbery?
Howdoestheshadowforgetitsauthenticity?
Eachtapisabetrayal.
Whatareyouifnotpracticingmendicity?
Thesunwillnevercomeback.
You’renothingbutatattooedduplicity.
Theinterrogatorkneelsinfrontoftheshadow
Withhismouthsewnshutwithredthread
Aphilosopher?Afool?
Eventheghostofgissingsisdead.
Chasinglightinanever-endingdarkness.
Theyhopeyoubleed
Fromthethoughtsyouneversaid.
Themirrorcrackswitheveryglance agrintoowide,afacemisread.
Youbarteryoursoulforcircumstance,
KateMcMahon’27
IDon’tKnow.
Theyclamorandask,“Sowhat’syourplan?”
AndIjustsit,blankasaslate.
Icould’vejustgotupandran, Wildandfreefromthisheavyweight.
ButIambandedbythisclan.Idon’tknow.
Theypesterandpesterandpester, Puttingonthesetoweringexpectations.
ButwhenwillIkeepup?Never.
Theypester,peck,andfuelfrustrations,
Diggingatmelikeabrokeninvestor.
Idon’tknow.
“Whereareyougoing?
Whatareyougoingtodo?”
It’sarunningmindthatpoundsandspins.
Imightgokaboomrightoutoftheblue, Lostinaracethatnoonewins,
Itwistandacheforsomekindofclue.
Idon’tknow.
Thisstormisfightingwithmytiredmind, Tryingtosendmethewrongdirection.
AmItrulyrunningoutoftime?
Orjusttrappedinendlessreflection?
WhyamIactingsocompletelyblind?
Idon’tknow.
Surely,I’mjustoverthinking,
No,Ican’tdealwiththisconclusion.
MaybeIcantrysomeforward-thinking,
Butmymindslideswideinconfusion.
Whataretheypossiblythinking?
I JUST DON’T KNOW
SveaMehta’27
KaeleighMorris’28
FogginessintheAirandMind
Aloneinthefoggyroadandinthedark,Istand
Nothingbuttheemptinessoftheworldinmybarehands.
Idwellatthecenter,contemplatingthechoices
Thatwaitattheendofthisroad,allwhileIblockoutothernoises.
Iwonderaboutthefuture,hopeforasign
Ofwherethispathwilltakeme,willIbefine?
Feelingtheweightoftheworldwhileonmytrack
Justlikethepainfulweightofthebagonmyback.
Somanychoicesduringmytravel,
ButwhichmustIavoidtonotunravel?
Thepressureofwhatistocome,
Leaningonme,amItheonlyone?
Choicestobemade,
Choicesmayfade,
Timeisarestriction,
Yetallstillfeelslikefiction.
Idonotknowtherightway,
ButwithGod’shelp,onthisroad,mayIstay.
NeverhaveIfeltsolonely,yetsofree,
Thisnewfeelingthathassuddenlycomeoverme.
Idonotknowwhatthefuturewillhold,
Butletitbeknownthatinit,Iwillbebold.
Betweenthetrees,Itakeonthisadventure,unsure,
IamlikeColumbus,sailingtheocean,noideawhatliesinstore.
Thefoggyroadisstillmyonlyfoe, Butdeepdown,Iknow
Theonlythinghinderingmyfutureandjoyinlife, Ismyowndoubtfulmind,worriedaboutavoidingstrife.
Ineedtonotworryaboutwhatisnotseen,
Becauseafterall,I’monlysixteen…
EmmaMorgan’27
Pure
WinterWhile
Whilemysouldespairsoverthewarmthnolongerintheair,
Mylifebeginstolieinabreezywithdraw
OverthesunInolongersaw.
Son,iswhowecelebrate,andhispurenessbeginstoelevate
Andoursinsarenolongerknown
Astheyhavebeenwashedaswhiteassnow, Claritywashesoverusaswehavebeenforgiven.
Forthetruthliesinourverymission.
Myheartnolongerpounds,mylegscannottremble.
Asthesecuritywehaveinhimisessential,
Takefrommyheartalltheanxietyandallthepain
Forsomeday,weknowyouwillcomeagain.
Yourloveknowsnobounds,andyourheartknowsnoend.
Youtogetherarethefather,thesonandmyfriend.
AbigalThomas’28
WinterPoem
SomebodyoncetoldmeIremindedthemofthewinter
Themostdreadedseasonofall
Thetimefamiliesplantheirvacationstoescape
Myicydemeanorsobigitmakesothersfeelsmall
Depressiondoesthattoaperson
Takesthesummeroutofwhoyouusedtobe
Suffocatinglikethesnow,coldasthewindthatblows
Iamnolongerlikethesun,someonewhoglows
Ihideawaybehindmybedroomdoor
Inthedark,underablanket,hidingfromtheworldIonceusedtoknow
TheNewYeariscomingup
I’mnotsureifthebrightnessthatwasonceinsidemewillcomeback
Ispendmostnightsonmybathroomfloor
DownonmykneescryingouttotheLord
EverynewyearmakesmewonderifIcanhandleanymore
Iseewhypeoplelikethespring,there’snothingtodreadlikethewinteryoucanfindinme
IamaHellebore,aflowerthatbloomsinthesnow
Acrippledwinterrosenoonelikestogrow
Harshconditionssurround,blizzardsandfreezingrain
Whycan’tIjustbeasunflower?Somethingsoplain
Iswinterallbad?DoIbringnojoy?
Whataboutcracklingfiresorabrand-newChristmastoy?
Thejoyofasnowdayorhotchocolatesowarm
How’swakinguptonoschoolbecauseofaviolentwinterstorm?
Wintercanbebeautiful,Iseebeautyinme
Likeabreathoffreshair,sofree
There’scomfortinthecold,behindthelayersofice
Awarmblanketthatwrapsyouup
Likeasweetsoulthat’sjuststartingtoshinebright
God’sgraceseepsthroughmyskin
Mycoldfacadeisfinallystartingtothin
PraisetheLord,theonewhomademewarmagain
~GentlePain,aonethatpassesfromwintertothespringrain
Anonymous
LillianDever
TheIvyofEnvy
Outwardlyjoyfulforyoursuccess,
InsideI’mshatteredanddenying.Yourpiercingvictoryechoesmyshortcomings.
Thesilentcompetitionundying.
Iwishmorethananythingtobe
Theonewithamedalortrophy.
Theyarisefrominsideme
Soswiftandclear;
Theagonizingemotionsof Jealousyandfear.
Youmightbelievemycongratulatinggrin,
Butit’srehearsedtodisguisemychagrin.
Isyourwinmyloss?
Idon’tmeantobeacynic.
Iknowinmyheartofhearts
I’myourfriendnotyourcritic.
WhyamIalwaysthequickesttojudge?
Idon’tthinkI'lleverrelinquishthisgrudge.
Isfailureanassuredsoldier, Inmyconstantinnerwar?
Theconflictmakesmewonder
WhetherIcantakeanymore.
I’malwayscompetingwithyouandmyself.
Thisrivalry,ascab,putsmethroughhell.
Ican’tbelieveyoudidit!
Ican’tbelieveIlost. Wow,weshouldcelebrate!
Myeyesbegintogloss.
IputasidemyprideasIgiveyourtoast, Howdisappointing,Ididn’tevencomeclose.
CourtneyRittler’27
OdetoLifeasanInterjection
HELP!Aninterjection,apleainthedark,
Innocenceshatteredbyastorm’ssuddenspark.
Inaninstant,mychildhoodvanished,disappearedinthinair,
Iworeagrin,likeashieldagainstdespair.
Yet,Ikeptonsmiling
Help,whatdoesitmeantobeaninterjection?
POOF!Aninterjection,asuddenwhisperofexistencebreathes, Anabruptdeparturethatleaves.
Oncewarm,nowcold,yourabsenceashadow,pullingonmyside,
Inaninstant,youvanished,asandcastleinthetide,
Yet,Ikeptonsmiling
POOF!Whatdoesitmeantobeaninterjection?
WOW!Aninterjection,spontaneousandrare,
Asparkignitedfromtheashesofwear.
Myheartleaptforwardbeforethoughtcouldarrive, asmilethatblossomedfromthewreckageofmydeprive.
Yet,Ikeptonsmiling
WOW!Whatdoesitmeantobeaninterjection?
AH!Aninterjection,anemphasisonlife,
Apulseofdiscovery,breathingthroughstrife.
Intheglass,afaceI’veearned,
Astrangernowfamiliar,myownnamelearned.
Yet,Ikeptonsmiling
AH!Whatdoesitmeantobeaninterjection?
BRAVO!Aninterjection,applauseintheair,
Afierceresilience,eachtrialIconqueredfair,
Asmilenowunshackled,nolongeramask,
Butthetall,total,truthofmytriumph,myfreedomatlast.
Yet,Ikeptonsmiling
BRAVO!Odetothelifeofaninterjection.
MeredithSlamm’27
KathleenKudes’26
Ifollowyou
Ikeepwalking,justasyoudodad Ikeepgoing,justasyoudodad. Istayconfident,justlikeyoudad. Istaystrong,justasyoudodad. Istayhumble,justasyoudodad. Istandtall,justasyoudodad. I'mlikeyou,dad.
Iwon'tcry,becauseyousaidnotto,dad. Iwon'tbemean,becauseyousaidnottobe,dad. Iwon'tgiveup,becauseyousaidnotto,dad. Iwon'tstoplearning,becauseyousaidnotto,dad.
Iwon'tbeungrateful,becauseyousaidnottobe,dad Iwon’tmissyou,becauseyousaidnotto,dad.
Mywordscomefromyou,dad. Mystrengthcomesfromyou,dad. Mymindcomesfromyou,dad. Mycouragecomesfromyou,dad. Myeducationcomesfromyou,dad Butmyhurtisgoingtocomefromyoutoo,dad. Doyouknowthatdad?
Iknowit'sforthebetter,dad. Iknowyou’rehappiernow,dad. Iknowyoudoalotforme,dad. Iknowthatyouloveme,dad Youtoldmethatbefore, Itisstilltruethough, EvenifIhaven’thearditinawhile, Right....dad?
Istilllookforyouaftereveryproblem,dad. Istillwanttotellyoumyaccomplishments Istillwanttoupdateyouonmylife. Istillwanttolivewithyou Yourlaughstilllingersinthehouse. Andstill,Imissyou,dad.
Allthat'sleftistheshadowofyou,dad. I'mstillwaitingforyoutocomeback,dad Dad,Ihavenomorestepstofollow. Wheredidyougo,dad?
Dad,Idon'tknowwheretogonext. Ican'tseeyourstepsanymore,dad? Whereareyoursteps?Dad,please Ineedtofollowthemstill... Anonymous
ABundleofJoy
Adayinspringandthesunsohigh,
Notonebirdsoarsthroughoutthesky.
Clearasglassandnocommotioninsight,
Flowersbloomwiththemorninglight.
Asightsojoyousthatsomeonecouldcry,
Aviewonecouldseeonceinafortnight.
Beautyfoundwithinmothernature,
Knownforthemeaningbehindtheirnomenclature.
Theflowersarefeathersinthewindblossominguntamed,free,andwild,
Bringingpleasureandhappinesstoall,evenachild.
Shadesofpinkcatchingtheattentionofstrangers,
Enchantingbystanderswithapresencesomild.
Flowersrustlingasthewindgoes“whoosh,”
Petalsflywhenthecapitulumgetsloose.
Stemssnapwhenpickedfromtheground,
Sometimesmakingaquietsound.
Pink,acolorforthefeelingofgentilityandgracetobeproduced,
Paperandstringusedtowrapthestemsaround.
Thebreezewhisperswhilethepetalsblow, Nowtransformedintoahandheldbeautywrappedinabow.
Oncegrowingvastreducedtoabouquet,
Still,awonderfulsightattheendoftheday.
Theskychangescolorasthesunstartstogetlow,
Thelongingfeelingfillsthedesiretostay.
Oftengiventoshowappreciationandlove, Intentionsshownlikethepurityofdoves.
Adelicatevaseusedtostore, Takencareofeachdayasnottoignore.
Givingthankstotheblessingsabove,
Thesmallthingsreminduslessismore.
FrancescaTrainor’27
KaeleighMorris
Withadarkfaceonthegray,
TheGreatSoulofIndia
Theshuttershuminthemorningwind.
Theportraitisstill,butoverhistwenty-one-daywait.
Thedarkfacehasthinned.
Messagestoturntheothercheek
Tothosewhohavesinned.
Hewasrefusingtotakeuparms,
Refusingtoriseandrefusingtobreak.
“Thewholeworldisblind,”hesaid,
Representingtherightfulstancetotake.
Heresistedthebrokenscaleofjustice
So,hishomewouldnotfallathiswake.
Hestarvedinsilence,firmandpale
Whilehisslowingheartbeatbecameametronome
Ofwhichtheworldignoredeachbeat,
Thecagegivinghimnoplacetoroam.
Nofightsrose,nowardeclared,
Justsilence,somethinghecouldfinallycallhome.
Ashotrangoutthroughthestillcrowd,
Theloudestlegacyintheirhush.
Abulletwassentfromacoward’shands,
Butstilleachpersonfelthismessage’srush.
Forwhenhefell,hismessagerose,
Andhewonabattlewithoutasingletouch.
Hewalksininkandmetaltoday
Andhiswordsarestillwetinthemorninglight.
TheGreatSoulofIndiaisafamiliarface
Ashefightsforfreedomshefeelsareright.
Eachmuraltellsachildto
Raiseuptheirvoiceforacausetheywishtoignite.
Thepaintingcreaksasdayrollsin
Andwhispersthetruthsitholdsinside
Itsmetalslatslikefoldedhands
Thatprayforpeacewherepainresides.
Eventhoughthewallsmayfadeandthepaintmaypeel,
Theshutterwaitsandstillitcries.
GraceWeir’27
TheSilenceofaClock
Oh,theseseconds,howtheytrudge.
Onceskippingby,quickandmerry
Nowtheyhaveaburdentheycarry.
Oh,theseseconds,nowthickerthansludge.
Oncecolorfulandbright,nowfadedinthisdullgraylight.
Oh,thesedays,howtheylumber.
Alifecutshort,athreadnowsnapped,
AnewrealityinwhichIamtrapped.
Ofclockswhodonottickoverlapping,
Hauntingthebackofmymindwiththeabsenceoftheirtapping.
Oh,thesedead,howtheyslumber.
Theirfacesfrozeninahush,
Likeangelsinagraveyard,allsoundsshushed.
Theonlyonesoundisleftbehind,thetickingofmyownclockinmymind.
Oh,thesemonths,howunsteady.
Thestormcloudabovemyheadremains,
Actingasmyinvisiblechain.
Intangible,yetweighingheavilyonmychest,
Myheartbeingsoheavilypressed.
Oh,allthistime,
Iamtoldtomoveon,butIamunready.
Icannotfunction,nortrytothink.
HowcanIbecalledbackfromthisbrink?
Oh,theseyears,howtheyareconcerning.
Theclockshaveblurred,theirfacesnowtwisted, Stillonlyonetickingsoundpersisted.
Oh,theseyears,ofthehandsoftimestillturning.
Whiletheirfeaturesarenowwarpedbeyondrecognition, Theirarmsremainfrozeninthesameposition.
Oh,thesedecadeswhichfeelsogloomy.
Butnowmytimehascomepastdue,
Andnowtheoneclockwillstoptickingtoo.
Oh,thesedecadesspentmourningthepeoplewhoknewme.
Tobeabletoseethemincolorandglory.
Nomoregrayleft,nosadstory.
Andtohavetruesilencedescend.
Alltickingsilencedintheworldinsidemyhead
Westerbeck’27
Sophia
SydneyHrlic’25
LifeisaRoad
HewalkshisjourneywhileIwalkmine.
Nexttoeachother,
Butacrossthoseyellowlines.
WhatifheleavesmeandIamleftalone,
Towalkthisroadthatisnowavine.
Lifeisaroad,
AllIcandoiswalkforwardandforward.
Itstretchesoutandshifts, Makesmegobackwardsandwayward.
AmImakingprogressoristheroadbringingmeawayfromwhatIknow,
Whatisstraightandwhatisshoreward.
Lifeisaroad,
Imakechoiceslikehurdleseveryday.
ButwhichwaydoIgo?
HowdoIstayoutofthefray?
Willheremembermeifwedivergepaths,
OrwillIbecomesomethingfar,faraway?
Lifeisaroad,
Whichkeepsmeonmyown.
It’scanyon-likenature, Willmakemeallalone.
Iseehimrightthere,
ButIambarelyevenshown.
Lifeisaroad, Withtwists,torsions,tugsandturns.
Iamnowstartingtofeel, Somebigconcerns.
DoIfollowmyheartorfollowmymind, Theroadtakesovermeanditdiscerns.
HaileyArnold’27
Rollingwavesofpastelblue,
Whereitstarts,Ihaven’taclue!
Overmyhead,theseagullsflew.
Peaceofmindwillcometoyou
TheGospelofGreed
Inthisplace,ofpleasureandlight,
Allofyourtroubleswillbeoutofsight.
Justonelookatascenesobright,
Healsthesoulsofthecontrite.
Withcloudsofgrayandskiesofpink,
Onewouldneverdaretothink
Thatallthisfadesinjustoneblink.
Forwhenitdoes,myheartwillsink.
ButasIgoaboutmyday,
Iknowmymindwillalwaysstay
Inthatplace,withcloudssogray
KnowntoallasCapeMay.
Cunningham’27
Rowan
KaylaSobieralski’27
Coldwintersnight,youwerealone
TheBeginning
Iwaswithagirlthatyoucalledyourown
Wepickedyouup,anddrovebackhome
LittledidIknowhowthingswereabouttogo
Youwenttotheotherroomandlefttherestofus
Iwasn’tangrythen,butrightnowI’dcauseafuss
Whensheleftiswhenitallbegan,thestoryus
Neitherofusknewityet,butwewouldlosetrust
Thenightwenton,youwenthome
Ididn’tcarethen,butnowIfeelalone
IwishcouldgobacktowhenIdidn’tcareanddidn’tknow
Allthegirlsthatyou’vebeenseeingandtheplacesthatyougo
ButIcan’tgoback,Ican’tturnbacknow
Becausethingswillneverbethesame,tothatIsaywow
BecauseIcan’tforgetyourname,I’vebeentryingtolearnhow
AndtotestamentmypainIwillsayitloudlynow
RuetheNight
Wewalkedthroughyourtownbecauseyousaidyouknewaspot.
Youshowedusaround,andyeahthatwasalot
Itallwentaccordingtoplan,yeahitwasgoingsweet.
Rightupuntilyourfriendsandyouleftmeinthestreet.
Idon'tknowthistownandIdon'tknowtheseroads
Youcould'vewalkedushome,Ithinkthatmuchwewereowed.
Weallsawalittletoomuchofyouthatnight.
Wesawyourhouse,wemetyourmom,anditwasabigdelight.
Onthatnightintheborough
Only14,Ididn’tknow
Whichwasrightandwhichwaytogo
It’sbeenalongnight,dad,canyoutakemehome?
Anonymous
TheBridgeWeBuild
Beneaththebloomingmorningembrace,
Wesetourpaceinlife’sfirstrace.
Theboardsbelow,sosmooth,sowide, Inviteyoungdreamsachievedwithpride.
Curiouscourage,largeandsmall, Welearntostand,andfeartofall.
Thegoldenrailsoneitherside,
Likeopenarms,theystretchoutwide.
Likeanchorsbuiltfromparents’care,
Theyguideusforwardthroughteenagedare.
Eachfootstepsounds,ayouthfulpace,
Halfpassionandhope,halfstartingtherace.
Thetowersrisetallerwitheachstride, Likemilestonesstandingsidebyside.
Theywhisperwordsthroughsolidstone,
Offindingstrengthwhenwe’realone.
Theirarchesechohopesonceshy,
Nowdaringhearts,reachingthesky.
Eachcable’spull,agray-steelthread,
Ameshofchoicesgentlyspread.
Welearntobalanceregretandlove, Shapingthestoriesthatweareproudof.
Thoughtensionsrise,andskiesturngray, Thebridgeholdsfirmtolightourway.
Hereinthecenter,abeautifulsight,
Wegazetoboththeleftandright.
Theskylinestands,amirroredsoul,
Reflectingyearsthatmadeuswhole.
Eachshadowservesalessondeep, Eachsunriseonewelongtokeep.
Andstillwerun,thoughstormsmaycall, Withslowersteps,stillstandingtall.
Werun,werun,wedonotcease, Eachfootstepflyingwiththebreeze.
Thebridgebehind,markedwithjoyandstrife,
Thisisourstory,ourjourneyoflife.
BrennaTomsky’27
LillianDever
Mission Statement
RootedintheCatholicfaithandcharismofMercy, GwyneddMercyAcademyHighSchooleducates,inspires, andempowersyoungwomentobemercifulinspirit, innovativeinthought,andcourageousinleadership
