Swan magazine July, 2015

If you would like to receive a free copy of the new, expanded, digital Swan Magazine sent to you electronically and save a tree’s life, send an email to: editor@swanmagazine.com.au with ‘Subscribe’ in the subject.

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Valley

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O N LY A N H O U R ’S D R I V E F R O M T H E c i t y

V i s i t w w w. t o o d y a y. c o m f o r f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n o r c a l l ( 0 8 ) 9 5 7 4 2 4 3 5

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IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO READERS

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t was ‘make your mind up day’ for the Swan Magazine recently and we have done so. To arrive at our decision we took into account the views of the readers who very kindly filled out the survey on-line and sent in hard copies from the magazine to help us and we’d like to thank them.

We also spoke to a number of people, in particular we’d like to thank Frank Alban MLA; Arlena from Arlena’s General Store; Steve Blizard of Roxborough Securities and more, plus the many others who helped with views, opinions and support.

The statistics of the survey were revealing: To the question “I support the move to digital publication” the answer was 88.89% in favour.

To the question “I support charging for print copies” the answer was slightly less with 78.57% in favour, but both overwhelmingly supported.

The comments were particularly helpful and overwhelming useful and supportive apart from the person who obviously thought we were owned by the City of Swan and were wasting ratepayers’ money in awarding a $4000 prize for an Art Competition.

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So we have decided that the best possible outcome will be to combine both.

While focusing on the environmentally friendly digital copies of some forty pages initially we shall also produce a smaller (32 page) print edition which will be on sale for $2.50 each through various outlets. Once we have confirmed the newsagents and others who will be selling the Swan Magazine, we’ll advertise their location.

A couple of advertisers have said they will purchase hard copies as gifts to the community or clients and distribute them.

If I may take this opportunity to remind you of the benefits of digital publication, they are: • No trees get hurt in the manufacture of the magazine (we have used more than ten million pages over the past fifteen years of production - a horrifying figure) • Advertising becomes very much cheaper - 50% less cost immediately, more as print copies pay for themselves.

• There are no geographic boundaries - we have readers in Gosnells and Tasmania as well as Toodyay and Fremantle • Back issues can be downloaded free of charge (I can’t tell you the number of calls we get ‘You ran an article on Ferrets a while ago, can I get a copy?’ and the like.)

• We can expand the size of the magazine pretty much infinitely - it’s currently 40 pages over the print copy’s 32 - but we could take that to 60 pages easily.

• We significantly reduce our carbon footprint. We currently use oxygen-bleached recycled paper with vegetable based inks to do as little damage as possible, but even so, we produce significant carbon dioxide.

• If you want to read only one article out of the magazine, or send it to a friend, you can do so far more easily at no postage costs.

• The Swan Magazine can be read on-line on your computer, or on your iPhone, iPad or Laptop through Issuu.

• It’s published as a Pdf and on-line on the website Issuu, so copies are always available.

New advertising rates apply at once, with adverts costing 50% less and more. Details will be up on the website shortly, but a 6cm by 6cm advertisement will cost

$60 including GST. The rationale of the advertising costs is this - our columns are six centimetres wide. Each column centimeter will cost $10 for the first 25 centimeters, thereafter $5 a column centimeter.

Thus a 6cm by 6cm advert will cost $60, a 6cm by 12cm, $120 and a quarter page $180 (18ccs) and a half page $300 (25 @ $10 and 11 @ $5).

This will be reviewed when we review the whole experiment after December this year when we’ve had a full six month trial.

All past digital copies will be permanently archived and may be recalled and re-read at any time and our host site – Issuu – can have hard copies downloaded from them.

This is a big step forward for us as we reach out even further than we ever have before and we’d like to thank all of you for your support and input.

POETRY A SON

DAWN E. RUTTER

y child, heart of my heart, Loved from the very start, Cherished all your childhood days Teaching you for grown-up ways.

Grown to manhood overnight, Somehow it doesn’t seem just right, That bearded man so tall to see, Just yesterday was on my knee.

IN THIS ISSUE PAGE

FEATURES

Art and Artists Joyful Entries Flow MAC in July

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Books 18 Books and Writing 19 Business Card Board 33,34 Chef-Adventurer Community Rotary Clubs Thank Firies Hypervision Firies Help Scouts Onslow Has Escaped Third Time’s a Charm An Open Letter

13 4 6 6 6 7 21

Dining Out Questions

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PAGE Gardening Landscaping with Stone

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Health Matters Bowen - the Gentle Therapy Glitter Bipolar Bear

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Notes From Parliament

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Pets 23 Poetry Mere Thoughts of the East 12 A Son

Inside SAFE 23 SAFE Success Story 12 Style by Kirsty 14 Swan Valley & Regional Network 28

Editorial Inside cover Education

30 Entertainment 16

The Idler The Voice of Swan Hills Toodyay Feature Avon Valley Writer’s Festival Toodyay Events

17 26

Finance 31 Fiction 9

Weddings What’s On

25 33

SWAN MAGAZINE

Published by: Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd WEBSITE:

www.swanmagazine.com.au

Publisher: Douglas Sutherland-Bruce editor@swanmagazine.com.au Editor: Jan Patrick office@swanmagazine.com.au Office: 14 Ridge Road, Glen Forrest, Western Australia Phone: 6296 5161 E-mail: office@swanmagazine.com.au Sales: Jessi Ford 0418 934 850 E-mail: office@swanmagazine.com.au Postal Address: P.O. Box 554, Mundaring Western Australia 6073 AUGUST DEADLINES: Advertisements: 25th July Editorial: 3rd August Copyright: Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd 2015

Printed in Western Australia by Vanguard Press using petroleum free inks and green electricity on plantation sourced paper. Both paper manufacturer and printer are certified to ISO14001, the highest environmental standard.

If you would like to receive a free copy of the new, expanded digital Swan Magazine sent to you electronically and save a tree’s life, send an email to: editor@swanmagazine.com.au with ‘Subscribe’ in the subject line.

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COVER PICTURE Misky

Photograph courtesy of SAFE See feature on page 12.

DISCLAIMER The information in this publication is of a general nature. The articles contained herein are not intended to provide a complete discussion on each subject and or issues canvassed. Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd does not accept any liability for any statements or any opinion, or for any errors or omissions contained herein.

Have a book to publish? v Family History v Non-Fiction v Autobiography v Biography v Fantasy v Fiction v Poetry Get expert advice on layout, editing, costings, publishing and marketing from professional editors First consultation free Free quotes

Swinburne Press (founded 1989) P: 6296 5161 E: douglassb@iinet.net.au

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HEALTH MATTERS BOWEN - THE GENTLE THERAPY BARBARA BAIN Bowen Therapist

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owen Therapy is very much the "gentle therapy." It can be done through light clothing, there is no need to strip off, no oils.

Bowen is a hands-on therapy that moves your fascia where it may be “glued up". This helps release it to give more freedom of movement.

Issues can be caused by stress, pain or illness.

The 'easy on the ears' explanation about

BOWEN THE AUSTRALIAN THERAPY ‘Founded and developed

by Tom Bowen of Geelong Bowen Therapy was developed by Tom Bowen (1916-1982).

The actual origins of his concepts are unknown or at least unclear though there do appear to be links with traditional

DISCLAIMER The information in this publication is of a general nature. The articles contained herein are not intended to provide a complete discussion on each subject and or issues canvassed. Synhawk Publications Pty Ltd does not accept any liability for any statements or any opinion, or for any errors or omissions contained herein.

what your fascia is? It is like a large cobweb under the skin that encompasses your muscles and organs.

It can become rather stubborn at the cellular level, this causes restrictions in movement and, often, pain.

Bowen therapy helps to release the fascia and may give you better freedom of movement, also it may assist you with the pain.

Imagine a tent that has one or two of its ropes loose. The tent will be out of whack but fix the ropes and the tent will become sturdy and straight again.

Your body does that when it has problems.

This therapy can help bring it back into tensegrity like the tent.

Clients come from all walks of life, all ages including builders, farmers, mothers, elderly, teens, babies, even keen golfers and all sports participants.

On completion of the treatment the client may sense relief straight away or later, but it is important to hydrate by drinking water.

You will be advised of possible changes you may experience. For example, some people feel very tired after their first session others may not.

Some have light pain as though you have done a long hike or been to the gym, others may not. The therapist will 2

give recommendations for post treatment actions, or activities.

Australia has recognised certified training in Bowen Therapy. You can train at one of the many Bowen Colleges throughout Australia. Once you have completed your course and achieved your training clinic hours you may then practice.

Chinese medicine. What is clear is that while working as a masseur in junior football clubs in Geelong, he recognized an apparent common causal relationship in many seemingly unrelated painful conditions, particularly musculo-skeletal but including neurological and other health problems.

He identified this causal link or relationship as being the soft tissue or fascia that envelops the whole body from head to toe.

After years of clinical work and much reading and study of other modalities he developed a unique set of specific moves associated with different sequences and timing intervals.

The moves provided fascial release and integration stimulating a variety of anatomical or physiological responses frequently resulting in long term and often immediate resolution of the majority of presenting problems and pain conditions.’ (Taken from BTFA web site).

HEALTH MATTERS GLITTER GAIL LUSTED

I touch the fire and it freezes me, I look into it and it’s black, Why can’t I feel, My skin should crack and peel, I want the fire back...

(Buffy – Once More With Feeling)

nothing. She didn't even want to exist.

But Nothing is boring, and the demon doesn’t like boring.

So every now and then it takes control here once was a girl named Glitter. She was again and suddenly called that because everywhere she went, she Nothing becomes Rage; seemed to shine on people.

Pain; Self-loathing; Her passion and sparkle were infectious, particularly in her vocation. What people didn't realise that within her was a little demon. It ate at her constantly.

On the whole, her fire could keep it subdued.

But, every now and then, it would try to dominate.

The doctors had a name for it and they would help with medications - which did help keep it in check.

Until ... certain things happened, certain normal life things, certain things that became too many Grief; at once... and the Paranoia; demon would feed Anxious; Panicky; upon them.

Screaming Glitter would ignore i n s i d e ; it and become more Destr uctive; Glittery, more vibrant, Feral; Harming. more passionate; the In fact, whenever the demon is bored, it larger the demon got - the larger Glitter's will take Nothing through every negative emotion persona became. and reaction it can think of. And the demon This persona would grow and grow, but it laughs and enjoys itself. Then it slips back inside became very tiring. Glitter would feel exhausted her, leaving her to be Nothing again. in maintaining the facade. She would hole up in her safe space trying to recharge her batteries, until the world needed her to go out and shine again.

This was all very well, but the demon knew that she could not go on like this forever. Glitter would wear herself out. And she did.

And on that day - it took over!

Glitter was gone.

She became nothing - Nothing.

Nothing would hide in her bed. Nothing would do nothing. Nothing could feel nothing.

She became numb to the world, others and herself and try to make herself as small as possible.

And the Demon rejoiced.

Luckily, Nothing had people in her life who would recognise when the demon had taken over and they would try to help. But she didn’t want help. She wanted nothing. She wanted to be

T

W hat the demon does not realise, is that there is always a spark.

And in time, something will breathe on that spark and all it takes is one breath to reignite it.

The spark becomes a flame, it burns and engulfs the demon, reducing it back and containing it.

Nothing is still here but she can feel Glitter fighting. Glitter is trying to take that breath.

Glitter will breathe on that spark. She wants her fire back!

(Illustration by Gail Lusted)

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COMMUNITY ROTARY CLUBS THANK FIRIES

SAWS AND MOWERS

cnr

Grt Est Hwy & Chipper St, Mundaring

REBECCA NOAKES

9295 2466

~ Sales ~ Spares ~

Repairs

T

he Rotary Club of Mundaring has constructed two recreational shelters as part of a project to thank bush fire brigades following the 2014 Parkerville, Stoneville, Mt Helena Bushfire.

A morning tea was held on Saturday to mark the completion of the shelters and the handover to Shire of Mundaring.

Rotary Club of Mundaring President David Cockman said following the Bushfire the Club, with the support of Rotary District 9455, raised $115,000 in donations from individuals, corporations, Rotary Clubs and other groups from around Australia.

The funds were distributed to residents “who lost everything” in the Bushfire.

“The Rotary Club of Mundaring wanted to then embark on a project that would be of benefit to the general community,” Mr Cockman said.

“We also wanted to recognise the efforts of the fire brigades and State emergency services who worked hard to bring the fire under control; and those people from many other organisations that helped the Shire of Mundaring rebuild the

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affected areas.

“The Club decided that the appropriate project would be the construction of two gazebos to provide shade and a place for people to use for picnics and other gatherings.

“It eventually developed into a joint project between the Rotary Club of Mundaring and the Shire. Financial support came from Rotary Club of Mundaring, Rotary District 9455, Rotary Club of Swan Districts and Westpac Bank.”

The Shire President presented certificates of appreciation to the Rotary Club of Mundaring, Rotary District 9455 and Rotary Club of Swan Districts.

She thanked the Clubs for the gift of the two recreational shelters, and recognised Rotary’s significant contribution to the community’s recovery efforts.

The shelters are located adjacent the Stoneville Volunteer Bush Fire Brigade on Bentley Street Stoneville, and along the Railway Reserves Heritage Trail about 200m west of Stoneville Road.

GARDENING LANDSCAPING WITH STONE LESLIE HERBERT

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dd stylish and practical touches to your outdoor space with these great ideas for paths, patios, firepits, showers, and more

OLD-WORLD KITCHEN GARDEN Dining and gardening combine in this elegant potager where herbs and vegetables grow near the table. Herbs and edible plants grown in pot are cordoned off from the gravel path with a charming circular stone border.

A GO-NATIVE STREAM Plant natives, and birds will follow. Install a meandering stream bordered by boulders to create a framework for integrating native plants. In this home's case, fragrant salvia, wild lilacs, and an existing non-native purple tree mallow were chosen to create a soft aesthetic and for their low-water requirements.

AN OUTDOOR FIREPLACE This friendly-looking fireplace sits on a gravel patio. The structure was built from concrete blocks and covered with manmade, though convincing, riverrock veneer.

PAVING Both the flagstones set in sand and the granite gravel allow rainfall to pass through to plant roots. River rock edges the planting beds.

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COMMUNITY FIRIES HELP SCOUTS

HYPERVISION WINNERS

RICKY HARVEY

T

he HyperVision Art Competition 2015’s winner, is Brielle Deering for her visually inspiring mixed media traditional piece, Links Unveiled.

Judging would have been extremely tough with 214 high quality pieces of work being submitted by 115 artists.

The seventy-six shortlisted submissions were then judged and curated down to the top fortytwo entries.

These finalists’ work will be exhibited from Monday, July 6 to Sunday, July 26 at Midland Gate Shopping Centre.

This year’s theme ‘What’s Missing’ encouraged young people to produce artwork that explored what they feel is missing from their lives, communities and greater socio-political context.

Art battles and acoustic performances will be held on Thursday nights in Midland Gate Shopping Centre and will showcase young artists in the City whilst further exploring the “What’s Missing” theme.

AND THE WINNERS ARE… Overall Winner & Traditional Winner Brielle Deering 16 (Canning Vale) Links Unveiled - Mixed media

Traditional Media Runner Up Caitlin Crook, 16 (Coolbinia) Dennis

Photography Winner Bremer Sharp, 17 (Highgate) The Gap

Photography Runner Up Jade Clifford, 16 (Guildford) Fire and Water

Fashion and Jewellery Winner Cassidy Beanland, 16 (Canning Vale) Force of Nature

Fashion and Jewellery Runner Up Devan Job, 21 from Bedford Rainbow Snake Cuff

Experimental Winner Melannie Lai, 17 (Canning Vale) Quick Response

Experimental Runner Up Shauna Teh, 17 (Canning Vale) Vivid

Sculpture Winner Kirra Kermode, 14 (Kalamunda) The Creature

Sculpture Runner Up Emily Vitetta, 16 (Kalamunda) Sculpted Histories

Up and Coming Talent Winner Grace Todd, 14 (Kalamunda) Hiding - Sculpture 6

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n a recent Saturday the Darlington Volunteer Bush Fire Brigade got squeaky clean, thanks to the 1st Darlington Scout Group’s efforts to raise funds in support of the victims of the April earthquakes in Nepal.

The local Scout group along, with other youth organisations, conducted a fundraising car wash and sausage sizzle at the Budget Car Rental premises on the corner of Great Eastern Highway and Farrall Road, Midvale.

Proceeds were destined to be given to the Save The Children Fund Australia’s Nepal earthquake appeal.

At 10.30am the Brigade will arrive to give all

three of its appliances (Darlington Light Tanker 1, Darlington 1.4R and Darlington Fire Support) an end of season clean up, after a long and busy fire season.

In the eight months since November 1st last year the Darlington Volunteer Bush Fire Brigade has attended well over fifty incidents, providing hundreds of volunteer man-hours at fires as far away as Gin Gin, Toodyay, Waroona, Boddington and Northcliffe.

The Scouts managed to raise nearly $1000 dollars for the donation to the Save the Children Fund Australia.

(Photographs by Ryan James)

COMMUNITY ONSLOW HAS ESCAPED

S

ixteen years ago, a young, Wedge-Tailed Eagle chick was brought to the Armadale Reptile and Wildlife Centre.

It had been injured and although the chick, now named Onslow, grew big and strong, his foot never really healed normally.

On the tenth of June, wild Wedge-tailed eagles, being much agitated to find Onslow in their territory during breeding season, even though he was enclosed in an aviary, attacked the netting and tore it.

Onslow took advantage of the hole created to leave, although he hung around for a while, Ms Gaikhorst having seen him the Centre’s car park shortly after his escape.

Onslow is not well equiped for survival in the wild and experts say he could have survived two weeks without food.

It has now been a month and the possible theories are only three: 1) He was injured/ killed by the wild Wedgies or could not find food so has perished (which we pray is not true but have to be realistic) 2) Someone has caught him and may be keeping him illegally (Onslow being so tame it’s not impossible) 3) He has made it in the big wide world (and if so the centre are happy for him).

It has been a difficult four weeks and the Centre’s staff are all mentally, emotionally and physically drained.

“It is very emotional and upsetting that we cannot get closure. Of course we aren't giving up on him, but he is so people orientated and its

THIRD TIME’S A CHARM

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rganisers and participants of this year’s Trek the Trail event will be crossing their fingers for dry skies after the past two events were cancelled due to dangerous storms.

Trek the Trail is an annual walking and running event held on a section of the Railway Reserves Heritage Trail.

In 2013 and 2014 the event route selected was a 10km loop starting at Lake Leschenaultia.

The 2015 event would run the same course, weather permitting.

It s really unfortunate that we had to cancel two years running due to severe weather warnings, but the safety of our participants has to take priority.

The decision to run the 2015 event on the same part of the trail was made because it is a lovely corner of the world that we want to share with the community.

We will all be crossing our fingers that Mother Nature will switch on great weather for us on the day.

The 2015 event will run on Sunday 20 September. Along with walkers and cyclists, runners are also encouraged to participate.

Cyclists will leave first, followed by runners and finally walkers.

This is a great family event and has something for the whole family. A three kilometre accessible option is also available.

A variety of stalls and entertainment will be stationed at the end of the trail. not like him at all to stay away. We do feel that For more information visit www.trekthetail. something is wrong. We know him.” com.au.

Ms Gaikhorst said Onslow loved people and was more than likely hanging around the southeastern suburbs or laying low in the bush.

“He’s probably hanging around the base of trees, so he’s not getting pushed around by other wedge-tailed eagles. He’s a bubbly little fellow and he loves people and he loves playing with his ball.

Please call the Armadale Reptile and Wildlife Centre on 9399 6927 if you sight a Wedgie.

Cr Stephen Fox, the Shire’s Events Officer Rachael Sarich and Cr Patrick Bertola hope Mature Nature turns on good weather for this year’s Trek the Trail 7

DINING OUT

The Thoughts of an Ageing, Balding Foodie QUESTIONS

DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

O

ver the last few months I have been giving quite a lot of talks and after-dinner speeches and I have noticed that the question period at the end of talks usually contains roughly the same questions.

Not always, of course, I’ve had some really odd questions (Why do you dislike Brussels Sprouts?), but in general I get asked the same sorts of questions and so I thought perhaps you, as readers, might be wondering the same things, so here the are: Do you do all the cooking at home?

I don’t know why this comes up every single time, but it does. As Dr Johnson remarked “You may abuse a tragedy, though you cannot write one. You may scold a carpenter who has made you a bad table, though you cannot make a table. It is not your trade to make tables.”

However, having said that, yes, I do do all the cooking at home. Fourteen years ago my wife Angela said ‘I’ve done the cooking for the past twenty-nine years of our marriage, you can do the next twenty-nine.’ (That wasn’t even remotely true, by the way - I did all the fancy stuff for dinner parties - but she did all the boring day to day cooking, which I now do.)

And I must say that I do appreciate some of the problems associated with cooking daily as opposed to occasionally. I mean, how hard is it to answer the question ‘What do you want for dinner?’ with ‘Chicken breasts in a white wine and cream sauce, asparagus and boiled new potatoes’ rather than ‘Whatever you think, dear.’

What’s the weirdest food you’ve eaten?

When I was younger I was a trooper in the army on survival training and I ate pretty much anything from honey ants and snake to lichen.

Since then I have been better fed but on a wider variety. I’ve eaten ostrich, emu, crocodile, Springbok, hippopotamus, eggs of just about anything that lays eggs, sheep’s lungs, pig’s cheeks etc, etc.

I suppose the question is really ‘Is there anything I won’t eat?’ And the answer is ‘I doubt it’ I have refused Witchetty Grubs because the bloody things were looking at me, and in general I wouldn’t eat anything alive (oysters excepted), but apart from that, I’ll try anything.

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I don’t like brains, but because I don’t care for the taste, and I’m not keen on eating something that has entertained thought of any kind.

I absolutely decline to eat anything rare or endangered, but for other reasons than taste.

In general, eating exotica is morally questionable and a waste of time and money as the range of easily accessible food is so wide and so good that it is unnecessary to eat hedgehogs or badgers.

When did you first become interested in food?

Like anyone else, at a very early age. Food sustains us, entertains us, and most people enjoy eating.

Dr Johnson again: “Some people have a foolish way of not minding, or pretending not to mind, what they eat. For my part, I mind my belly very studiously, and very carefully; for I look upon it, that he who does not mind his belly, will hardly mind anything else.”

For me the other side of eating, selection, preparation and cooking, was an early fascination. When young my mother was unwell

Granny with her young apprentice

for long periods and so I spent a lot of time with my grandparents who owned a hotel in the Drakensberg Mountains.

Granny was a ‘hands on’ owner. She stood ‘four foot thirteen’, was born during Victoria’s reign and although she left school at twelve, as was usual for girls, was widely read and selfeducated.

She was also a natural born teacher and as we went around the markets she would talk and explain, almost like thinking aloud, how to tell how fresh the fish was, how to tell if a pineapple was ripe, why those potatoes are better for boiling than these and little Douglas trotted along behind absorbing it all.

Even now I can’t smell a Honeydew melon to tell its ripeness without thinking of her and hearing her voice in my mind’s ear.

What’s your favourite food?

Very easy answer here - well cooked food.

It’s a glib answer, but a true one. I have no real preference other than the food should be of good quality, cooked correctly and let its natural flavour shine through and not be smothered in some pungent sauce so that you don’t know whether you’re eating shark of quail.

Having said that my absolute favourite meal is fat pork sausages in thick brown onion gravy with creamy mashed potatoes. It was always my choice for birthdays, when we got to choose anything at all. (Dad always chose very rare fillet steak and mum Lobster Thermidor).

What’s your least favourite food?

Another easy one - logically it should be ‘badly-prepared food’, but it isn’t. It’s just ‘Brussels sprouts’. I don’t like the taste, the texture, the colour, the smell, the name or anything else about them. It is, I freely confess, a prejudice.

I also don’t care for tastes mis-matched for effect. Yabbies in a Lime reduction may be delicious, and certainly such combinations should be tried and experiments with, but if Avocado and Pineapple salsa tastes like a Caribbean swamp after a hurricane, don’t serve it. Also marshmallows have no place in any salad - ever!

I’ve always regarded dishes like bacon and French Toast as breakfast foods and consequently savoury dishes. Seeing someone pour maple syrup on their French Toast and bacon came as a shock the first time and I still don’t really believe it’s a valid lifestyle choice.

How can you compare one restaurant with another?

Well of course you can’t, nor should you. You can’t compare Alfred’s Kitchen with The Loose Box, even though both are exceptionally good at what they do.

But they are trying to do different things and each restaurant must be compared only to what their intentions and aspirations are.

Alfred’s make excellent hamburgers and sublime Pea and Ham Soup but until and unless they start offering boned pigs feet, rolled and stuffed with truffled forcemeat, they should not be judged by the standards of the Chevalier Alain Fabregues.

When you go into a new restaurant, you should ask yourself ‘What is this restaurant trying to do, and how well have they succeeded?’ Of course, there are objective standards of good and bad with food. Burned food is burned food wherever you go, but it’s not to be compared with Blackened Catfish.

Another vital criterion is ‘value for money’.

I have left restaurants having spent upwards of $200 a head thinking ‘money well spent’. And other, having forked out $14 for fish and chips thinking ‘what a bloody rip-off’.

Which makes that the first thing to consider when deciding where to go when dining out. But it’s not the only one or even the most important one.

Happy eating.

FICTION BAD HAIR DAY

“

Y

ou know, I’ve got to re-appraise my opinion of the youth today”, commented Inspector Graves as he continued to study the autopsy and laboratory reports that lay on his desk.

Detective Greg Mild just grunted in reply, knowing full well that his superior’s habit of talking to himself, rather than to anyone else, didn’t invite an answer.

He was always bitching about time wasting but when it came to delivering his little ‘lectures’, time was of no consequence.

He should be, thought Mild stealing a quick sideways glance at the Inspector, dressed in mortar board and gown to match his pedantic delivery.

Mild tuned out, reviewing the case in his mind as the Inspector’s voice droned in the background. They’d attended the crime scene several days ago and categorised the case as ‘suspected homicide’ because of the scrawled word written on a piece of paper that lay beside the body slumped forward in a chair at the kitchen table.

A spilled mug of coffee clenched in his right hand, welded there by a spasm of death, and the expression on the corpses face testified to the agony of the departure of life. Dressed only in tee shirt and underpants, the deceased man with his spiked hairdo looked to be in his early twenties.

Leaning forward, Mild read the sole word written in, he presumed, the nearly indecipherable hand of the victim and relayed it to the Inspector.

“It says Jealousy”.

The Inspector yawned hugely. Their station had been grossly understaffed for months, and on his calculations, he was averaging only four hours of broken sleep a day. “Bloody politicians”, he muttered.

But what can you do? Work till you drop or resign before fatigue one day fatally flawed an investigation. He yawned again and sighed deeply, what other job could he be as successful at he wondered, and then, being brutally honest with himself, arrived at the same answer as he had many times before – none, none at all.

“Right” he said, “check the hand writing to see if the victim DID write the word, explore the jealousy angle – check for ex-lovers, relationships etc. etc. and send the contents of that coffee cup for analysis. What’s that other jar there? – might as well send that as well”.

Mild, carefully with gloved hands, picked up the jar that sat on a printed flyer and rather hesitantly read aloud, the message the flyer imparted.

“Complimentary sample only of our wonderful new product. The product that we proudly introduce to the market is the culmination of years of diligent research. We guarantee that our product will put body in your hair that no other product can possibly match.

As you can see by the label on the packaging, we have named our product, ‘Hair Raising’ and we unconditionally guarantee that in the unlikely event of future client dissatisfaction an award of $1000 dollars will be payable. As you can see, you

D F BROND have nothing to lose and everything to gain, so why not give it a try and move forward to a new life style.”

“Not much point in wasting the lab’s time on hair Gel,” he remarked to his superior.

Inspector Graves, displaying obvious signs of sleep deprivation, snapped back in

an extremely bad tempered manner “Miles, how many times do I have to bloody well remind you that in murder investigation you take nothing for granted, you presume nothing and you check and double check every bloody thing!

Now get on with it and don’t waste time. We’re up to our eyeballs with criminality as you well know so I want this cleaned up A.S.A. bloody P.” So Miles did, and much to his surprise (he admitted only to himself), he and Inspector Graves, although following different paths, both ended up knocking on the same suspect’s door.

Armed with a search warrant (which strangely in the end lead to the arrest and charge of murder against an industrial chemist) a search of the premises found nothing indicating criminal activity.

The murderer was very clever, but as it transpired, nowhere clever enough to outsmart Inspector Graves. Although it turned out that he was the ex de-facto of the dead mans current live in lover and subsequently proved to be extremely bitter at the parting of their ways and insanely jealous, there was nothing concrete to tie him to the murder.

Sure, traces of the hair gel left in the jar were found to be lethally toxic in the extreme, and an industrial chemist was capable of knocking up such a lethal concoction, but where was the proof that linked him irrefutably to the crime? Well, Inspector Graves solved that problem!

Although there were no fingerprints found on the jar or flyer and no traces of DNA either, Inspector Graves insisted that the lab. re-check, and lo and behold, partial thumb prints were discovered on the sticky side of the label affixed to the jar, picked up by microscope through the glass on the opposite side.

As he remarked later to Miles, “you just can’t manage a job like that wearing gloves, it’s too finicky”. He then instructed Miles to thrust the search warrant at the suspect, making sure that he (Miles) only held the bottom of the document.

This of course required that the suspect accept

the warrant, holding it between the thumb and forefinger of both hands while he looked it over.

Retrieving it, Miles surreptitiously slipped it into a plastic envelope and sent it to the lab. on arrival back at the station. Bingo! With a start, he suddenly realised that Inspector was speaking directly to him and stammered, “Pardon Sir?” “That’s your trouble Miles, you never seem to pay attention. I repeat, I was sorely tempted to lay the blame on you for the extra time we spent on ferreting for evidence to close this case, time as you know that we can ill afford.

“However, as your superior, knowing your weakness in English due to the shockingly inferior teaching practices of the so called ‘phonetic creative writing’ era during your schooling, I should of checked. I broke my tenet, so therefore, am ultimately responsible.

When you told me that the word on the note read ‘jealousy’, I didn’t at that time verify that it did. Yes, I was deathly tired, but that’s no excuse, I broke the rules and didn’t check and re-check, consequently, I discovered your mistake two days later. Because of your spelling disability you read out what you thought was a single word, “GELLOUSY”.

However, there were in fact two words, and they read ‘GEL LOUSY,’ but because the man was obviously in such agony when he wrote those words, we can’t blame him for phonetic foolery.

Anyway, we got our man eventually,

EMBRACE EVAN JECKS

S

oothing, warm, calming it’s the first thing you think about in the morning and your last act as you fall a sleep. You say goodbye and hello with them.

At times you need them or need to give them, there’s nothing like the embrace of a loved one.

They mean as much as the world or as little as I miss you. Soft and warm they offer comfort in any situation. Tho’ they may last only seconds the feeling lingers and becomes more needed till the next one.

There are those that last longer just to show your love, those are the real special ones for no particular reason and lasting as long as the love is strong.

Unexpected they send a thrill through the nerves and strait to the heart, knowing that they love you and want to show it, or the ones that you see coming, with the anticipation tenderising every nerve in the heart ready for the love that is given.

The tight embrace of a loved one can make you feel invincible and vulnerable at the same time, you can take on the world but are afraid of leaving the warmth and comfort of your lovers arms.

We need them more than we know and appreciate them far too little one embrace is worth a thousand words, but silent as they are they tell all that is meant.

9

TOODYAY AVON VALLEYWRITER’S FESTIVAL 2015 ANGI MCCLUSKEY

F

ollowing the overwhelming success of the inaugural Avon Valley Writers Festival during the National Year of Reading 2012.

Plus the subsequent success of the 2013 event Toodyay Library, with the assistance of Northam Library, is looking to host this exciting experience once more.

Avon Writer’s Festival 2015 is to be held on the weekend of 19th and 20th of September 2015 to include a full program of adult and children’s workshops.

An invitation is extended to members of the public to come along and meet our local and nationally acclaimed West Australian authors.

The authors are each invited to provide a workshop in their chosen field during the two day The handsome facade of Toodyay Library festival. They will also be given an opportunity for book signing, promotion and specialists are set to make the Avon Valley and individual consultations.

Writers Festival 2015 an enthralling and totally The Writers Festival is enjoyable weekend. proposed to be a fun filled Prequel to Avon Valley Writers Festival weekend for all to enjoy.

Friday 18h September 2015 @ 6pm.

After the closing of the Avon Valley Writers Festival are thrilled to first day at Toodyay Library we have much acclaimed author Stephen Daisley will be inviting the attendees host a book launch in Toodyay on Friday 18th to join our guests for an September 2015 for his latest novel Coming Rain “Open Forum” at Ipswich as a prequel to the Writers Festival. Stephen's View Homestead in Toodyay. first book Traitor won the Prime Minister’s prize, Following the Forum being acknowledged for its humanity, wisdom and throughout the evening and beauty. there shall be music and Coming Rain is a lucid novel with rippling entertainment by local artists prose set in the wheatbelt.

Love ‘N’ Hart, plus a delicious Writing WA is generously sponsoring evening meal.

Stephen's book launch which is being held at The Sunday session is to Stephen Daisley the Shire of Toodyay Council Chambers on Friday be held at Northam Library 18th September 2015 at 6:00pm and members of mirror imaging that of the James Foley, Sean E Avery and the public are cordially invited to register interest previous day with a selection of alternative authors Geoff Havel will each be providing children’s to attend this and the full weekend festival and workshop formats. workshops throughout the festival weekend. activities.

There will be an exciting array of diverse and Costings for the Avon Valley Writers Festival stimulating local and national authors presenting are as follows: at the festival including; Comedian Sami Shah, Stephen Daisley Book Launch Illustrator Wendy Binks, Sci-Fi writer Guy Friday 18th September 2015 FREE Salvidge, Thriller author Alan Carter, New Media Avon Valley Writers Festival Artist Kelli McCluskey, Romance author Fiona Saturday 19th & Sunday 20th September 2015 Palmer and Historical Fiction specialist Amanda $75.00(inclusive) Avon Valley Writers Festival Children’s Workshops Curtin.

Plus Susan Medalia, Ian Reid, Wendy Binks, Saturday 19th September 2015 $10.00 Karina McRoberts, Linda Bettenay, Michael Moore Avon Valley Writers Festival Children’s Workshops and Noreen Reeves, all of these talented authors Sunday 20th September 2015 $10.00

A Valley

for All

Seasons

ON LY A N H OUR ’S D R I V E F R OM TH E c i ty

V i s i t w w w. t o o d y a y. c o m f o r f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n o r c a l l ( 0 8 ) 9 5 7 4 2 4 3 5

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TOODYAY TOODYAY RACE CLUB

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he Toodyay Race Club was founded in 1865 as a leading racecourse in the Avon Valley.

The Toodyay Picnic Race Day, the town’s premier event, is held annually at the Toodyay Racecourse located amongst the picturesque Avon Valley. Hosted by Channel Ten Sport Presenter, Tim Gossage, the day is undoubtedly Toodyay’s favourite community event.

The popular event attracts the quality of trainers and gallopers seen at premier provincial racecourses.

With picturesque views of the Western Australian countryside, the Toodyay racecourse is undoubtedly one of the area’s most unique landmarks, all within an hour’s drive of the Perth metropolitan area.

The Toodyay Picnic Race Day is a familyfavourite with wining and dining in the corporate tent to a variety of free kid’s entertainment there is sure to be something for everyone.

The event is on the 27th September 2015, the Queen’s Birthday long weekend. Gates open 10am – Racing starts 12pm – Gates close 9pm. Tickets cost $25 for adults (I.D. required) those under eighteen are free, but must be accompanied by a legal guardian.

The Toodyay Racecourse is a licensed venue – Strictly no BYO. Why not get a group together and create your own private space in Toodyay Race Club’s Tentland. Position yourself inside the track or on the outside rail and secure a comfortable spot for the entire day.

Return bus and train transfers will be available on the day. For information on train bookings visit www.transwa.wa.gov.au.

Members have exclusive access to the upstairs indoor viewing area, their own private bar, and entry into the race course.

If you are interested in running a food stall on race day please contact the Toodyay Race Club to register your interest.

Camping facilities are available on-course and shower facilities are available at the neighbouring caravan park for a small fee.

11

POETRY MERE THOUGHTS OF THE EAST

COMMUNITY SAFE SUCCESS STORY DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE

M

iski is possibly WA’s most well-travelled dog and her story goes to show that life at SAFE is always full of surprises. ’ve made many friends and perhaps a She, her favourite bed and a suitcase full of few foe clothes and toys recently arrived at SAFE Karratha Along my very winding road from chilly Albany, the start of her newest life I’ve watched Thai sunsets from a bamboo adventure. raft This well-travelled four-and-a-half year old Awed by the colours over reeds and ancient Staffy cross Kelpie, Ridgeback (and possibly Dingo) has had a chequered life. crafts TARJA HETTONNEN

all set to take on her new life. We were so keen to get her adopted into another loving home that we placed a story in our local paper, The Pilbara News, to promote this energetic, happy and fun dog, much as we do with your own Swan Magazine.

Miski arrived in town on the Tuesday and the paper came out on the Wednesday, as did a lovely family on their holidays from Perth. They saw Miski in the newspaper, fell in love and this

It was a place called Kanchanapuri An inspirational fairytale for me to see Sat upon an elephant’s back Through forests thick and black Swayed from side to side As I watched a mighty river flow by From memory it was somewhere near Chiang Mai Next it was upon poor Indian soil I trod To witness hardships other people have long forget Yet here there is a great tribute to a woman The magnificent tomb Agra’s Taj Mahal Silk in abundance throughout the land Even a camel trek through ancient Jaisalmer sands Was in Varanasi where the mighty Ganges flows Where dead are ceremoniously burned Crossed the border to the magic kingdom

Originally found in Derby in the Kimberley as a six-week-old pup with severe heatstroke, covered in ticks and mange, she appeared to have been abused and was very scared of men.

The people who found her adopted her and she became a much-loved family dog living until To Little Nepal with all its riches now, in Albany.

Her owners were devastated to have to Perhaps not wealth as Westerners know But smiles as wide as the Himalayan surrender her but due to family circumstances they are compelled to move overseas. Over the horizon past few weeks they pulled out all the stops to The world’s highest peaks make sure this beautiful girl found her next home.

In spring an awe inspiring scene After being unable to find an animal rescue The mountain men and donkeys agency who could help, they approached SAFE Blisters and sore feet from trekking Karratha, and we, as usual, were up for the Foreigners who search to find challenge!

With the Miski mission accepted, a foster Perhaps that elusive peace of mind carer was located in Karratha and flights booked from Albany. The next hurdle came when Miski’s In thousands they flock to Kathmandu threejackets, bed, blankets, toys and treats needed Perhaps you should too to find their way to Karratha as well.

But I guess if it’s civilisation you seek Enter Karratha-based NMA Haulage who It’s in the capitalistic world you should pulled out their contacts book and asked Albanybased transport company Goads for a bit of a preach hand: For then it’s best to leave the East “Transporting Miski’s bedroom furniture Alone in it’s harmony and peace. and wardrobe from Perth to Karratha is not a problem” said Sue Lennard from NMA Haulage, “but we are struggling to find a way to bring her things from Albany to Perth in a way that won’t bust our bank.”

With all the logistics taken care of, Miski was 12

adventurous pooch will soon be on her way to her new home in Perth!

We wish Miski all the best on her next adventure and if you see her around Perth make sure you give her a pat.

SAFE has many other animals like Miski looking for their permanent home. (see Sybil on page 27).

We are a not for profit organisation that saves rehomeable animals from euthanasia. Overheads are kept small as we rely on volunteers to care for the animals, take photographs, write profiles, maintain the website and do administrative work.

We have twelve branches around the state and are always in need of donations to pay vet bills.

If you’d like to donate, information can be found onoue website.

Have you considered volunteering? SAFE have people who volunteer effectively from all over the country and who make a huge difference to the organisation.

SAFE urgently needs foster carers across our vast state and we’d particularly welcome more foster homes from Perth who can take our animals from any branches.

Fostering is a critical role which provides rehabilitation, training, caring and loving of animals to prepare them for their new lives with permanent owners.

If you’d like to make a difference and join the team of volunteers, please email karratha@safe. asn.au or phone SAFE Headquarters in Karratha on 08 9185 4634.

CHEF-ADVENTURER A BAVARIAN ‘GHOUL’ ASH BRENDAN MURPHY

I

t is time for another return visit to Germany, especially as I am in the midst of writing about my adventures there over the years for my next book: A Taste of Europe.

However, it is also back in the present tense, as it is winter here and I crave for a winter warming hearty Goulash stew for dinner, and hence your recipe for this month!

Goulash is a classic Winter Stew that originates from Eastern Europe, more specifically from Hungary.

However, you can find it on menus all around Europe and especially in Germany. The key ingredient in a goulash is the bright red spice of Paprika.

I originally visited Germany way back in 1980, continuing my ‘hitch-hiking apprenticeship’ from last months story in Switzerland.

From there we headed north to Germany getting a lift to the Swiss-German border. It felt quite unusual to actually walk across the border and get our first passport stamp in the process.

Then we got a lift back into Switzerland again!

Weird, we thought, but there is a little chunk of Switzerland that juts out if you head straight north.

Anyway, a very friendly German couple had picked us up and insisted in taking us to witness Europe’s biggest waterfall the ‘Rheinfall’, which is absolutely stunning to behold on the high Rhine near the town of Schaffhausen.

What a start to a new country! We ended up staying there too, which is a typical 16th century medieval town full of renaissance style buildings. From there we headed north to Stuttgart, before hitching west into Luxembourg.

So the first visit to Germany was a bit of quick one, but I headed back there in 1982 when I embarked on a more extensive four month ‘Taste of Europe’ as it were, getting work in the process to fund my trip.

I stayed for quite some time in Munich and just loved the city. I had also got work in a Youth Hostel based in the village of Pullach, which was actually in a wonderful old castle called Burg Schwaneck.

Back then, I had to clean the castle for my keep, but also managed to get good paid work in a huge beer-garden called the Waldwirtshaft, which was located a ten minute walk away through the dense woods that run along the side of the castle.

I often helped in the kitchen, which introduced me to German cuisine including their delicious Goulash. However, I was not a qualified

Burg Schwaneck

Chef yet, so I also collected glasses, which was a full-time job in itself as the German Stein glasses contained a litre of beer and one needed a strong arm to carry up to seven in each hand!

However, as well as a strong arm, it turned out that one also needed a strong heart, because of the local ghost that haunted the woods!

On finishing a busy night shift you had to walk back through the woods to the castle in the distance, but by then it was pitch black and spooky! It was during one of those walks that my mate and I swore that we saw a white-faced man suddenly float alongside us and we very quickly ran for it!

We have never forgotten that experience.

So twenty-four years later in 2006, I was back exploring there and

minute!).

I must confess that I failed miserably in my task as I decided on scarpering back to my castle as quickly as my legs could take me with the excuse I had an early train to catch in the morning!!

For this stew you can use beef, lamb, pork or even make it vegetarian. Just make sure you have a quality matching stock.

HUNGARIAN GOULASH (Serves ten) Ingredients 50ml Oil 1 kg diced Stewing Beef Salt & Pepper 1 medium sized Onion 1 small Leek 2 cloves crushed garlic 60g Flour 25g paprika powder 40g tomato paste 2 bay leaves 1.2 litres brown beef stock Handful of chopped Parsley Method 1. Heat oil in large thick-bottomed casserole dish and seal off the meat by browning lightly.

staying once again back in this wonderful castle with my ‘writers hat’ on and determined to re-explore!

The beer garden was still going strong, so I went for dinner, which included my favourite hearty Goulash and a few steins of perfect German beer. All I had to do now was wait until it was dark and do the walk again, all in the interest of this columns research you understand!

However, a summer storm broke and rather aptly for effect, thunder rumbled! As darkness descended, the woods looked thicker, and lightening struck over the castle in the distance (which now looked more like Draculas every

2. Season and add chopped Onion, Garlic and Leek and cook gently.

3. Mix in the flour to make a brown roux.

4. Cool slightly, then add Paprika and tomato paste and mix well. Add hot stock gradually to just cover meat. Bring to the boil and skim. Add bay leaves. Cover with a lid and allow to simmer for approximately 1hr or until meat is tender.

5.Remove bay leaves. Correct seasoning. Add parsley and serve with boiled potatoes or dumplings and a bottle of Red. 13

STYLE BY KIRSTY HOW TO SHOP THE SALES LIKE A STYLIST KIRSTY NOAKES

C

redit card – Check! Spare credit card – Check!

Emergency credit card – Check! Partner’s credit card – Check! Check! Check! It’s our absolute favourite time of the year – it’s Sale Time!

But before you head out to burn next month’s pay check, take these tips and shop like a stylist.

You head out to the sales every year, but it’s such a shame that half the things you bought last year, whilst incredibly cheap, weren’t incredibly useful.

Some of them still have the tags on, and the ones you did wear were only worn once. You were truly brave to consider wearing neon again, but lets face it - it’s not for you. Truth be told, it’s not for anyone.

First things first, clean out the o l d wardrobe. But don’t do it alone – you’ll keep too many useless pieces. Get your besties to join you and make sure they’re instructed to be brutally honest.

Think SJP and her pals in that wardrobe sort scene from SITC, sipping champagne and flipping their ‘Take’ or ‘Toss’ signs. And just for the record – no, you’re not going to fit into those jeans one day.

So here’s the deal, if it doesn’t fit right now, it goes. If you haven’t worn it in over one year, it goes. If you don’t feel like a million dollars when you put it on, it goes. If it looked good on someone else, but doesn’t look good on you, guess what? It goes!

Once you’ve completed your wardrobe sort you’ll have a lot of empty hangers to fill (Yay!).

Take a good look at what you’ve got left, and work out what pieces are missing that would

14

missing from your wardrobe. If you have a good idea of which shops suit your style personality, you’ll know exactly where to shop for all of those pieces. Keep an eye on the sales. Don’t go too early, you’ll miss all of the really great bargains.

But don’t go too late, there won’t be anything left!

Whenever a stylist takes a client shopping they always ask them to wear something comfortable.

Something that’s easy to get in and out of, and shoes that slip on and off.

You want to look fab, but feel comfortable.

You don’t want to give yourself any excuses for not trying things on. Your stylist would never ever let you buy anything that you hadn’t tried on first.

Remember to check what’s going on online. You may find even better bargains in your favourite brands online stores.

My rule of thumb for shopping online is to only shop the brands you know and trust.

For example, let’s say you love Zara and purchase there all the time, then definitely shop the online store. You’ll know your sizes, and you can be confident in your purchases.

The biggest trick to saving time and money is quite simply, sticking to your list.

Impulse purchases, whilst at the time quite fun, are usually the ones you regret later. business A good stylist should put far more time into shirt. Or you planning the shopping for their clients than they may have plenty of colourful do shopping with them. dresses but not one pair of nude heels – That’s how their clients save time and money as outrageous as that sounds! Be very specific and end up with wardrobes that they love about the pieces you need - including shoes and completely. accessories.

And it doesn’t hurt that they look fabulous in Now you should have a list of all the pieces absolutely everything they wear!

complete your dream wardrobe.

A good stylist would take into consideration all aspects of a client’s lifestyle when deciding what pieces are missing from a wardrobe. You may have a wonderful suit, but not a stylish white collared

The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Mind

NINETEEN YEARS WITHOUT AN OVEN

GLENNYS MARSDON

F

orget six months in a leaky boat what about nineteen years in an oven-less kitchen? Surely in this over commercialised world of ours no one is expected to live an oven-free existence.

Wel,l I can attest to the fact that some people do and in fact I did. Up until twelve months ago I experienced life sans oven.

When I say I had no oven for nineteen years that’s not totally true. It is true that when I moved into our four bedroom family home twenty years ago there was no oven, nor any evidence of there ever being one for that matter. This is somewhat surprising when you consider the history of the oven.

The first oven was built in France in 1490BCE, so you definitely can’t place me in the early adopter of new products category. Even the ancient Greeks baked bread in simple ovens, and yet news of this modern day apparatus hadn’t made it to Perth apparently, at least not to the coastal patch that I inhabited.

By 1826 British inventor James Sharp had taken out a patent on his gas oven idea and 100 years later said appliances were found in most households. And yet all I could do was peer into my tiny kitchen each morning hoping that the tooth gairy might have delivered a shiny new Bosch or Bertazzoni.

The 1890 World Fair in Chicago heralded the advent of the electric oven which proudly sat in the Windsor Hotel of Ottawa two years later.

Still I trudged on working around the gaping hole in my culinary life. A vast array of salads were concocted and in winter tonnes of homemade pumpkin soup cooked on a cracked glass hot top.

Christmases came and went with no roast lamb, chicken or pork gracing our dining table.

THE IDLER

Just as well we were invited to spend Christmas day at the pork crackling infected kitchen of my nearest and dearest. Over the years I grew more and more ashamed of not holding the festivities at my place, and arriving at Christmas parties sans homemade shortbreads and mince tarts.

Then one day a friend declared that she was redecorating her kitchen and was getting rid of her oven. Negotiations were made and the oven destined for a new life in my abode. Oh how my life would change.

I had visions of presenting a multitude of gingham wrapped homemade morsels at every function I was invited to. Work colleagues would soon tire of my perfectly formed golden sausage rolls, girlfriends would cower in shame in the presence of my oozing brownies. Even the doyens of the Country Women’s Association would hang up their aprons in disgust knowing they didn’t have a hope against my mile high vanilla sponges.

Yes, I could expect a blue Royal Show ribbon any day now. With an oven I would no longer be the girl handing over a shame inducing packet of Tim Tams. I would no longer be a social outcast.

I’d finally belong. There was just one problem.

When the pre-loved oven arrived at my place I found myself staring at a wall oven. Not having a suitable orifice for the oven it was lowered onto the kitchen floor. There it sat, languishing for three years its main purpose to remind me of the life that could have been. A life of plump mushroom-filled Beef Wellingtons and pillowy meringues.

Then one day an attempt was made, nothing monumental you understand, many years of Master Chef had made me cognisant of the perils of overreaching. No this would be a simple beginning … cheese on toast.

You might think this mundane, but the sheer joy of cheese on toast can only be appreciated by someone who hasn’t had a griller for fifteen years, but sadly this too proved challenging.

Being a wall oven the griller was located underneath the cooking compartment which meant the user had to lie on the floor and perform a feat reminiscent of a Russian gymnast.

Nevertheless, cheese toasties mastered I moved on to bigger things. A subsequent attempt at Oysters Kilpatrick nearly proved fatal when a stream of boiling hot Worcestershire sauce threaten to derail proceedings after making contact with the bare flesh of a male friend’s

upper thigh. Needless to say they are no longer considered an aphrodisiac in our household.

Eventually it was time to attempt cooking in the main oven area. When ten people descended for a pizza night three family sized disks covered with ham, pineapple and cheese were ensconced in the bewildering large black hole to keep warm.

Sadly this action only highlighted the previously unknown slow leak in said hole, which saw the pizzas served to the ravenous masses at 10:00pm. Clearly any visions of Pavlova were out of the question along with sizzling, well sizzling anything really.

Nineteen years on I find myself in a new inner-city abode complete with a Miele wall oven that not only works it’s actually … positioned on the wall. Luxury. So with the original pizza friends invited back what would I cook first?

As they sat down to a table proudly displaying piping hot pizzas, moist sausage rolls, and pink cupcakes, I knew it wasn’t a patch on the three course meals they regularly churned out when I visited.

But I was feeling quietly proud of my first homemade dinner party attempt. That was until I spent the next hour listening to the conversation around the table …

‘What? You haven’t got a Thermomix, how do you cope?’ asked Stacey. ‘It can do everything an oven can do and more, weigh, mix, juice, blend, chop, crush …’ gushed Tanya ‘I know. I don’t even use my oven anymore, actually I’m thinking of not putting an oven in my new place,’ added Stacey.

If only Vorwerk had stuck to vacuum cleaners and not invented the Thermomix, then my mind wouldn’t be reeling with chopping visions of a decidedly non-culinary nature.

15

ENTERTAINMENT THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST - REVIEW

G

DOUGLAS SUTHERLAND-BRUCE joobble and the word Quixotic is pronounced 'Qwix-otic', not 'Key-hotic', although I do absolutely agree that it's illogical since the character's name is pronounced 'Key-hout-ay'.

The levels of energy were remarkable and it was by far the most energetic Earnest of my experience. The big Cigarette Case Chase was vigourous and fast.

enerally speaking, I don't care for reviews that run 'very good, considering' because they tend to be condescending and patronising.

The written equivalent of a pat on the head.

Good is good and bad is bad and that's all there is to it. However, having said that, you do, as a critic, have to take into account various relevant factors when commenting on a production.

Helena College in Darlington has an excellent reputation for their theatrical productions and The Importance of Being Earnest is one of the finest plays in the English language so the combination of the two has to be enticing.

This was not a school production, but the Year 11 Drama Class's production, which means that o u t of the t went yfive or so sixteen year old students in the class they had to Lady Bracknell (Jade Atkinson) and Jack (Stefan Brown) find a cast of irns) a C ld a e i g h t , (D o u g G i v e n as if she had hundreds of candidates to select asuble if f lin) backstage h C n M o n e the limited from. Lady Bracknell (Jade Atkinson) was tall, a is C u ), Lo crew, wardrobe, Browniss Prisim ( n choice available Kristin was elegant, intensely aristocratic with her chin well a f e t p r o p e r t i e s , Jack (S an d M very fortunate in her cast, each was as good elevated and a neck that any swan would envy. programme The actors playing Algy (Noah Watkins) designers and so on. and Jack/Earnest (Stefan Brown) beautifully And they had to rehearse, build the set, portrayed the friendship between the two and prepare and master some of the most intricate worked smoothly together. prose ever written as well as juggle homework, There were some script walkabouts, only classwork, sport, music and all the other natural given the short rehearsal period, but attendant time consumers in any teenager's life. no-one cared although I do think it will be To have succeeded as well as they did in such some time before Noah will be allowed to forget a remarkably short rehearsal time is a tribute to 'having Shropshired all over Bunbury' rather their dedication and raw talent. than the reverse. Gwendoline (Lucia Mitchell) Director and drama teacher Kristen Twynamwas gorgeous in her fifties finery and her Perkins chose to set the play in 1955 instead of interaction with Cecily (Taylor-Rose Price) during the more traditional 1895, for no real advantage the big Cake Fight Scene was just lovely. other than, I expect, the undying gratitude of the It has become rather a conceit in recent years wardrobe department. for the same actor to play both butlers - Lane The costumes were very elegant and and Merriman. This was also the case here with attractive, and for me, nostalgic, although if Conner Robson differentiating between the two you're sixteen, 1955 is as about as remote as with the addition of a rather fetching Fair Isle 1895. Parallels were drawn between the current jumper for Merriman.

TV show Mad Men and Victorian mores of Louise Mifflin as Miss Prisim and Dougald artificial greed and intrigue, but the words were Cairns as the good Canon were delightful left untouched, so Gwendoline, in rather a nice together but for me, in a strongly ensemble cast shirt-waister still had to wait in the carriage. the stand out was Taylor-Rose Price as Cecily. I The cast were all self-possessed, comfortable don't know if she has a theatrical career in mind, on stage and urbane. First night nerves were but she could quite comfortably have a great evident, understandably, but as soon as they future ahead of her if she so chose. settled down in the warmth of the audience's I pass this along simply for information, not in approval they were fine. any spirit of criticism.

Generally speaking the actors did an The evening was, like Cecily's weather, excellent job of the careful English of the script, 'charming' and highly enjoyable and the cast, but I must mention two words that were less crew and production team have my admiration happily treated. Chasuble is pronounced 'Chasand thanks. joobble' (it's a church vestment) not ChawsLady Bracknell (Jade Atkinson)

16

ENTERTAINMENT NOISES OFF!

F

play - turning on that well-worn rom the company that device of a play within a play. brought you Open All Hours, But Noises Off goes further; it’s Blackadder Goes Forth and a play within a play three times Blackadder the Third, Serial repeated, with each re-telling Productions is proud to once again showing the fraying of the bring you a night of unparalleled structure more and more. laughter and enjoyment.

The play centres on a third This marvellous British farce rate English stage company written by (Tony award winner) performing a fifth-rate sex Michael Frayn is a laugh from start comedy called Nothing On, to finish. which boils down to not much Frayn read Moral Sciences more than sardines, slammed (Philosophy) at Cambridge doors and a pretty girl in her University, graduating in 1957. He underwear! then worked as a reporter and The play is directed by columnist for The Guardian and Joe Isaia and features a cast The Observer, where he established of talented Perth actors. The a reputation as a satirist and comic incredibly complicated and writer, and began publishing his difficult set has been designed plays and novels. and built by George Boyd, whose award-winning He has won numerous awards and prizes for The Observer are much admired. his books and plays and the satirical columns in Noises Off is widely regarded as his greatest sets have led to sharply indrawn breaths of admiration all over Perth.

Noises Off will be at the Old Mill Theatre South Perth from Wednesday August 19th to Saturday August 29th.

Shows start at 8:00pm each night with two matinees on Sunday August 23rd and Saturday August 29th at 2pm.

Tickets are $27 adults, $24 concession and $22 for groups of ten or more.

Tickets are available from the TryBooking website.

Serial Productions are also proud to support the West Australian Heart and Lung Transplant Foundation and part proceeds from the sale of every ticket will be donated to this worthy cause.

ORCHESTRA REFLECTS ON HISTORY

M

embers of the Hills Symphony Orchestra are busy rehearsing for their next concert on July 19th.

Now in its thirty-fifth year, the group has grown from humble beginnings to become a much loved part of the hills community.

The Hills Symphony Orchestra was founded in 1981 and consisted of twenthy-three local music enthusiasts under the baton of Mr Leo Arnold, the Director of Music at Guildford Grammar School at the time.

Thirty-five years, nineteen conductors, and countless concerts later, the orchestra has grown to include over fifty passionate musicians and the group now performs regularly at the Midland Town Hall.

Mr Shaun Fraser took over as conductor and musical director of the orchestra in 2004 and has now conducted the orchestra for a record eleven years.

Under his baton, the group has continued to improve musically, as many regular audience members will attest.

The orchestra’s July 19th afternoon performance will revisit some of the group’s favourite pieces from a decade ago, including popular classics by Dvorák, Vaughan Williams, and Schubert.

Past players are also being invited to perform.

Tickets are $10 ($5 for children) and can be booked by calling the Mundaring Community Bank Branch Bendigo Bank office on 9295 6411.

17

BOOKS REVIEWS Title: The Charlemagne Connection Author: R M Cartmel Publisher: Poisoned Pen Press Reviewer: Karen Treanor

was delighted to find this book in this week’s box of review books, having not long ago read and reviewed the first book in the series, The Richebourg Affair.

It was a very enjoyable and involving book, as is this second outing for the Serious Crimes policeman, Commander Charlemagne Truchaud, known in the local patois as “Shammang”.

Once again he is called home to his little village of Nuits-Saint-Georges from police HQ in Paris, and once again the Commander finds himself embroiled in not only his own family problem, but those of several other families.

The most immediate problem is the patriarch of the family, who thinks the world is his pissoir, and has been wandering around irrigating other people’s property.

Truchaud is in the invidious position of many other middle-aged children: his father has dementia but is still mobile, and has many ‘normal’ days as well as episodes of childlike behaviour. The old man can no longer manage the family vineyards and Truchaud’s brother, who once did, is dead.

Have a book to publish? v Family History v Non-Fiction v Autobiography v Biography v Fantasy v Fiction v Poetry Get expert advice on layout, editing, costings, publishing and marketing from professional editors First consultation free Free quotes

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18

The brother’s widow is more than busy enough with feeding and supervising the family, keeping track of the old man, and doing the accounts for the business. Nephew Bruno is too young to take over, so a manager is seeing to the day-to-day work.

The manager is being shared with another small vineyard, but if he should leave, the vines will be in desperate need. Various plans are afoot to tie him to the village, but not everyone approves.

Truchaud was responsible for the death of the village’s murderous chief of police, so it seems only sensible to his superiors back in Paris to put Truchaud in the vacant position while he sorts out his family problems. This job is not onerous; mainly it involves stolen bicycles, lost cows and speeding tourists.

One of the first problems is Dagmar, a German tourist, and her friend, who have come in search of Dagmar’s brother. He went missing some months ago and his van has been in the police pound since.

Using the keen wits developed over the years in his demanding post in Paris, Truchaud quickly discovers why the young man was in Nuits-SaintGeorge, and why someone might want him to vanish.

A chance discussion with another winemaker about a small patch of ailing vines makes Truchaud’s antennae twitch; in short order a body is unearthed and Truchaud not only has a murder to solve, he also needs to keep Dagmar safe, since it seems that the blood she shares with her missing brother is the key to the mystery.

This is a very enjoyable story that takes you right into a small French village, makes you part of the community, whets your appetite for the local food and wine, and leaves you with a satisfied feeling.

The sad thing to report about this book is that is the second of three; apparently Dr Cartmel only plans a trilogy, so those of us who have become attached to Commander Truchaud and the little village of Nuits- Saint-Georges will find ourselves bereft before long.

Perhaps if we bombard him with fan mail, he will reconsider.

Additionally, I trained as a historian specialising in the Early Mediaeval period, so books set in anything even approaching that period tend to irritate rather than entertain me.

So with the cards well stacked against, I started to read Dagger of Dresnia. And found to my intense surprise that I was having a very good time. Once you make the leap into belief it is an excellent read.

Ms Flavell has a crisp, clean writing style that is very free-flowing and lucid. The characters are more well-rounded than one might expect and the dialogue flows smoothly and naturally.

The story is very roughly reminiscent of Dr Faustus and Rumpelstiltskin. The Queen has three sons, triplets, who are sick. She wants them well enough to rule the kingdom as their father wished and seeks the aid of a Dark Spirit, who assists and then, as is their wont, presents his bill.

“Suddenly, she became aware of a presence in the room. She turned toward the door, and there stood Baradian, smiling.

Her words came out in a rush as she scrambled to her feet. ‘You! How dare you show your face here again, after your trickery last time. How dare you bespell me? Get out of my sight!

‘Not so fast, my lady. I come to claim my first payment.’

‘Payment? This is hardly the time.

‘I don’t think you understand, my lady. This is my first payment.’ He waved a hand toward the bed.

It took her several heartbeats to understand his meaning. ‘You mean — you want to take Tamirayne away?’

‘Only her soul, my dear. You can do as you wish with her mortal remains.”

Excerpt From: The Dagger of Dresnia

The Queen, Ellyria, seeks allies and recruits a band of young mages and calls upon her family both human and elvish - to help save the kingdom.

It’s epic fantasy in the Grand Manner with talismans, beautiful maidens, mages, elves, magic mirrors, enchantments and all the trappings.

But it’s also fun and entertaining, although I have to say, my view of elves was forever changed -oOoby Pratchett’s Lords and Ladies and I find it hard Title: The Dagger of Dresnia to see them as goodies, despite J R R Tolkein.

Author: Satima Flavell Dagger of Dresnia is described as ‘Book One Reviewer: Douglas Sutherland-Bruce of the Talismans’ so we can look forward to more from Ms Flavell and I, for one, am looking forward would not have, on the face of it, been to that. the first choice to Highly Recommended. review this book.

Generally speaking, I regard fantasy with the slightly patronising air of someone who went no further into the genre than the late Sir Terry Pratchett, who’s hardly representative, and Isaac Asimov and Anne McCaffrey as a teenager.

BOOKS AND WRITING BOOK CUBBY

T

he City of Swan’s ‘Swan Community Book example of co-operation between diverse groups Cubby’ will be officially launched on Friday which would benefit children throughout the community. “This is an innovative and fun way 10th July at Ellenbrook Public Library.

City of Swan Mayor, Charlie Zannino, said for children to be active participants in their own the Book Cubby is a specially designed portable reading, writing and learning,” she said. library in which books made by children are The Swan Community Book Cubby will be used to promote the libraries and literacy at displayed and celebrated.

“A child can make and publish their own schools and community events, and is available books – then they take one book home to share for loan to other organisations within the City of with friends and family and leave one in the Swan. cubby, for other children to read and learn from,” To enquire about booking the Book Cubby for your organisation or event, contact Aniek Ragan, he said.

The Swan Community Book Cubby Project Young Peoples Librarian on 9267 9030. was initiated by the City of Swan Libraries who bought the licence from Kid’s Own Publishing to produce a Book Cubby, and developed as a community project with the generous support of Men’s Shed Ellenbrook who built the cubby from materials donated

by Masters in Ellenbrook.

Children and parents from the Learning English Through Storytime Program decorated the cubby as part of a Community Arts Project facilitated by Samantha Hughes, a WA artist and children’s illustrator.

Ellenbrook Ward Councillor Patty A Book Cubby from Kid’s Own Publishing Williams said this was a tremendous

KSP - WHAT’S ON be done, can it be done effectively? Where does poetry end and propaganda begin? Is there any point in ‘preaching to the converted’? A fantastic opportunity to expand your poetry horizons.

Much has been written about the tragedy of Costs: $30 for KSP-members, $45 others the War overseas, but what of the training soldiers For further details or the full itinerary of 2015 received before they left Australian shores? events please contact 08 9294 1872 or visit www.

What were they told, what were they fed, and kspf.iinet.net.au what environment did they merge from, which would help forge the legendary spirit of Anzac?

THE MODERN DAY WRITER’S GUIDE TO A dedicated group from the KSP Writers’ Centre banded together to find out. Blackboy Hill TECHNOLOGY is Calling is the first ever comprehensive history Sundays: 2nd, 9th, 16th and 23rd August of WA’s most significant WWI training camp, 1.00pm-4.00pm This four-week short course with published Blackboy Hill, which trained over 32,000 men.

With the production of this book, the author and technological guru Simon Haynes will KSP Centre has ensured that its history and cover the four essential topics for authors in the modern age: e-book publishing, author websites, significance will never be forgotten.

Limited copies available from KSP at $15.00 typesetting and social media.

You won’t find a similar low course price each at any other educational institute in Perth - as a non-profit organisation, KSP is dedicated to POETRY WORKSHOP WITH RON PRETTY providing authors with the most useful and upSaturday 18 July to-date information, with all income going back 1.00-4.00pm into management of the heritage This workshop with KSP’s listed KSP Centre.

2015 Established Writer-in Suitable for all levels Residence Ron Pretty, former of writers with a basic to Director of Five Islands Press and intermediate knowledge of Head of Writing at Wollongong technology.

University, will give experienced Facilitated by: Simon Haynes. writers the opportunity to Full Course Costs: $100 for explore the question of dealing members, $150 for nonwith political, social and members. Booking and payment religious issues in poetry. in advance is essential.

Should poetry tackle such issues? If it is to

Blackboy Hill is Calling Anzac Centenary commemorative book – available now

I

MIDWINTER WORKSHOPS

t's the right time of year to hunker down, stay warm and start working on that novel you always wanted to write.

Need help? Helen Iles, President of the Society of Women Writers WA is conducting two midwinter writing workshops on Saturday 25 July and Saturday 1 August 2015 from 9am to 4pm at Citiplace Community Centre in the Perth Railway Station Concourse.

The first workshop, The Essence of Story Writing, covers: • Finding inspiration and ideas for writing • Brainstorming and mind mapping • Plotting methods • Essentials of story structure • Character development • POV and narrative voice • Chapter breakdown The second workshop, Editing and Publishing Your Story, covers: • Analysing credibility • Gripping beginnings / Killer endings • Pruning and expanding text • The copyedit • Tools and strategies to critique your work • Manuscript layout • Publishing Learn the tools of the trade and how to make your writing fresh and original. Helen Iles, awardwinning author and poet; manuscript assessor, publisher and editor says: ‘These workshops will help writers set a solid foundation to their story by focusing on theme, plot, the development of interesting and unique characters and sound writing techniques. By setting the building blocks in place the novel will start to write itself.’

Bookings are essential as places are limited.

The classes are open to men and women, new and established writers. Cost for each workshop is $90 for Society members; $120 for non-members.

For bookings, contact the Secretary: swwofwa@gmail.com or 0415 840 031.Check the website for more information: www.swwofwa. com.

19

ART AND ARTISTS MAC IN JULY JOYFUL ENTRIES FLOW CLARE STROUD

KATE SELTH

P

eople from across Perth are finding joy in City of Swan landscapes, including wineries, the river and fields, as entries for the City of Swan Photo Competition flow in.

City of Swan Mayor, Charlie Zannino, said the City’s photographic competition has the theme of joy and encourages both local residents and those from the wider community to share how they view joy in the City.

“It’s easy to see why our locals are being drawn towards photographing our picturesque landscapes,” said Mayor Zannino.

“We also encourage people to look closely at the every day.

“Faces, places and experiences can all bring us joy worth sharing, and we are looking for this vision from both amateur and professional photographers as the City’s photo competition further progresses.

“Winning photos will be used in the City’s next calendar so that we can all enjoy the talent of those who best capture our City in their pictures.”

The City of Swan Photography Competition is open until September 1, 2015 and entry is free.

Prizes include $4000 and a front cover feature on the City of Swan 2016 calendar for the winner and $250 for each of the 11 runners up, who will also be featured in the calendar.

Fifty finalists will be selected by the judges to have their work printed and mounted for exhibition.

We are requesting a short description with each photograph entered, which will be shared along with the winning photos in the City’s calendar.

A picture can speak a thousand words, but a few short words from the photographer will also help us to understand the thought that has gone in behind each entry.

Terms and conditions and entry forms are available on the City’s website now at www.swan. wa.gov.au/photocomp People are encouraged to follow the City of Swan Photography Competition on Facebook to keep up to date with the competition progress.

Details from Florena by Katrina Virgona, Meditation on Form by Anne Farren, preliminary sketches for Mum series by Hannah Farleigh, Dukkah by Bonnie Boogaard, Freehand Sketch by Trish Bygott, take all meals alone for the next five days by Dani Andrée, Unless? A Sampler by Trish Little, Elkie Top, Botanical Park Skirt by Lorna Murray (photographer Juli Balla), Sewing by Annette Seeman (still), Untitled by Elizabeth West

GALLERY ONE EXHIBITION WITH EVERY FIBRE OF MY BEING Friday 11 July to Sunday 16th August

Virgona, who are joined by recent graduates Dani Andrée, Bonnie Boogaard, Hannah Farleigh and Elizabeth West – each of whom have demonstrated a unique style of working within the realms of this With Every Fibre Of My Being articulates ideas diverse and expressive medium. associated with ritual, sacred objects, femininity Tue - Fri 10:00am - 5:00pm, and the body.

Sat & Sun 11:00am - 3:00pm Focusing on fibre and textiles as a diverse Closed Mon and Public Holidays

Showcasing her life’s work with early etchings, collographs and lino prints from the 1980s and 90s, Alma presents a selection of prints that highlight her diversity and explorations into printmaking from her long-term interest and passion for nature and design

medium, the exhibiting artists push the boundaries of the traditional associations of textiles, examining their connection to their own existence, while at the same time, being inspired by women’s ‘craft’, tribal cultures and ancient civilizations.

Originally conceived by textile artist Sarah Zel Chescoe, the exhibition is a celebration of Western Australian fibre and textiles.

The works are created by leading Western Australian textile artists, all with a history of lecturing or studying at Curtin University’s School of Art & Design, who are recognised nationally and internationally for their work.

They include Trish Bygott, Anne Farren, Trish Little, Lorna Murray, Annette Seeman and Katrina 20

GALLERY TWO EXHIBITION ALMA HOTCHIN OUT OF THE ATTIC Friday 11 July to Sunday 16th August Alma Hotchin’s print-works reveal a strong linear quality which she sees as integral to translating the natural world into art. Her desire is that this emphasis allows others to see ‘her’ world and awareness of nature. At the age of eighty-seven, Alma Hotchkin continues to practice and exhibit regularly.

Tue - Fri 10:00am - 5:00pm, Sat & Sun 11:00am - 3:00pm Closed Mon and Public Holidays

COMMUNITY AN OPEN LETTER TO A SUPERMARKET MANAGER Dear Brian I built your store. I gave you your job. I did this through the many, many thousands of customer dollars I spent buying food at your store for over thirty years.

Seeing as I built your store, and employed you, I'm technically your employer. Not this year, though, Brian - I can't be your employer this year, because I can't shop at your store.

I know you know why I can't shop at your store, but the people who pay your wages - the wages that are supported by my previous custom might not. So, as per our discussion earlier today, I'd like you to send this email to your 'boss'.

I note your current slogan is 'a little better every day'. I'd like to suggest a change - 'a little better every day, except for the cripples'.

That's right, Brian, the cripples. Not just the angry woman in the green wheelchair who was shouting at you in her mother's voice at the front counter today, but all the cripples.

The gimps and the droolers, the crips and the spastics. The wheelchair users. The people who used to use your supermarket until two months ago, when you decided that we didn't matter enough for you to provide a service to us.

Let's recap what happened, Brian. You'll remember that an angry redheaded woman came in and demanded to speak with the manager because there was no wheelchair trolley at the front counter. Or maybe you don't remember you 'weren't available' on that occasion, nor were you available on two other occasions when I came in to do my shopping.

But you don't get to the lofty position of Store Manager without at least a marginal sprinkling of management ability, so I am assuming that the message was passed on and received. I was told that there was no trolley 'because it had been stolen' and 'the other one was broken' - and I raised the question, then, about why you only have two trolleys.

There are 405,000 people with disability in Western Australia - did you know that, Brian?

There are 18,655 people with disability in the City of Swan, the geographic area that your store is smack bang in the middle of.

Let's assume that we know that ‘theft is shit that happens’, Brian. Midland, as we know, is not the prettiest of areas. There are people there who will steal your face off your head if you're not careful.

We all understand that wheelchair trollies make perfect barbecues, once you remove the plastic bits. We know that they have a multitude of uses, including carting firewood and small children.

Let's assume that I, and the other cripples who were told that your wheelchair trollies were broken and stolen had a moment of annoyance and then resigned ourselves to our fate. After all, we're crippled. We're used to daily discrimination.

It happens.

I was raised to be nice to people, Brian, and I mostly am. I was nice to your manager when she told me, snappishly, that she 'couldn't do anything

about it'. I was nice on the second, and third, occasions I complained.

I didn't even snap back after she told me that you couldn't be expected to make sure the trollies weren't stolen or damaged, although I did pose the question about what you'd do if ‘all’ the trollies available to walking people disappeared or were broken - would you fix or replace them, or would you expect the able bodied people to carry their groceries in their pockets for two months? I spoke nicely, and smiled as I bid her goodbye.

But you may have noticed that I wasn't feeling nice today, Brian. In fact, if my children saw the look in my eye that I was directing at you today, they would have been running in the other direction.

I am assuming that you are either very brave or that your brain fell apart like a wet cake upon seeing an angry cripple, because you didn't appear to recognise the clear and apparent danger you were in.

That feeling, Brian, was caused by the fact that after two months, your store did not care enough about their disabled customers to provide a wheelchair trolley. Two months is a long time to go without food, Brian. I am a middle aged woman - when I am hungry, I am violent.

At my age, the only things left to me to provide enjoyment are food and sleep - if you interfere with either, you're in serious trouble. After two months, your store did not purchase a replacement trolley, communicate any kind of regret to the customers who complained, or even offer an alternative - like a staff member to help your customers shop.

What did you do? Well, Brian, you continued to do nothing in the fine form that you've been accustomed to. Wearing your apathy like a cloak of invisibility, you casually apportioned blame to head office 'they won't order us a new trolley', told me that this was situation normal, ‘one store has been waiting for over six months for a replacement trolley' 'we've had lots of complaints' and said everything that you could think of - except 'sorry'.

Faced with an angry, teary, peri-menopausal cripple, you could think of nothing to do but smirk, pass the buck and show off your magnificent social skills with all the aplomb of Kim Jong-Un at a speed dating convention.

It soon became apparent that there were

more than two wheelchair trolleys missing, Brian. Something far more important lacking was missing - an apology.

I'll tell you what a good apology looks like, Brian. You might like to listen carefully - if you're a smart man, you'll think back to the last time someone like you didn't listen to a complaint by a disabled person.

Gisele Mesnage, a blind woman, recently sued a supermarket chain because she faced the type of discrimination that you're displaying right now.

She'd also repeatedly complained about access difficulties and had also been ignored. [See sidebar below].

An apology has several parts. * You should give a detailed account of the situation. * You should acknowledge the hurt or damage that has been done. * You should take responsibility for what has happened. * You should recognise your role in the event. * You should provide a statement of regret. * You should ask for forgiveness. * You should offer restitution wherever possible.

And you should promise that it will never happen again.

See what I did there, Brian? I listed all the things that you didn't do. I suggest, with the greatest of respect, that you attend to the above by return email - let's say, before COB Monday, with a clear statement about what you are going to do to address the issue, within well stated timelines before I get even hungrier.

Your slogan is 'A little better every day'. Go ahead, Brian. Make my day a little better. Fix the problem.

And do it now.

Yours sincerely Samantha Connor SETTLEMENT OF FEDERAL COURT PROCEEDINGS 13th Feb, 2015 Joint statement from Coles and Gisele Mesnage: Coles and Ms Mesnage, who is represented by the Public Interest Advocacy Centre, are delighted to have reached a very amicable settlement.

The settlement follows the mutual agreement of the parties to make further improvements to the Coles website in respect of accessibility enhancements suggested by Ms Mesnage.

Coles recognises the importance of accessibility and is committed to continuing to improve the online shopping experience for everyone.

Coles would like to thank and acknowledge Ms Mesnage for the work she has done to improve accessibility for Australians.

21

22

PETS ADD YEARS TO YOUR PET'S LIFE SYBIL

HELEN OSLER

C

an’t decide between a Red Heeler and a Jack Russell? Why choose when you can have Sybil?

This nine-month-old pup is a super cuddly, sweet natured and playful young girl who gets on really well with other dogs and children.

She’s definitely got traits of both her main breeds and is bigger in size than your average Jack Russell, a medium-small size dog. Her beautiful long ears go on forever.

This puppy may have short legs but she’s got cattle dog spring! She jumps up and down like she’s on a pogo-stick so she can peek over the fence and watch for her carer coming home. Her neighbours call her the ‘Meerkat’.

Being young, Sybil likes her walks, runs and beach time, but she’s not hyper and doesn’t need huge amounts of exercise. She loves her humans and is a very loyal dog who comes when called and with a bit of extra training she will be the perfect family companion.

She’s a very good inside dog: house-trained, polite and loves cuddling with you for couch time. Luckily she’s perfect lap dog size! Sybil would probably adapt well to outside life if she had canine company as she’s used to other dogs and humans in her daily life.

Sybil will be desexed, microchipped and vaccinated.

Love the look of Sybil but think you live too far away? Not a problem. For a reasonable cost we can fly her almost anywhere in WA or interstate thanks to our sponsors at QANTAS Air Freight and the Toll Group.

You can feel confident adopting with SAFE as all our animals come with a “lifetime guarantee” which means that if for any reason they are no longer able to stay in your care we will take them back without hesitation.

Sybil is a gorgeous, energetic young dog who also knows how to relax. She will make a wonderful pet so call SAFE Karratha today on (08) 9185 4634.

SAFE is a not for profit organisation that saves rehomeable animals from euthanasia. We have twelve branches around the state and are always in need of donations to pay vet bills.

If you’d like to donate, information can be found on: www.safe.asn.au Have you considered volunteering? SAFE have people who volunteer effectively from all over the country and who make a huge difference to the organisation.

At the moment we’re particularly in need of fundraisers and marketers because we need money to pay for vet bills - every rescue animal has to be desexed, vaccinated and microchipped.

Overheads are kept low as we rely on volunteers to care for the animals, take photographs, write profiles, maintain the website and do administrative work.

People with writing skills who are confident to interview foster carers can make a valuable contribution by writing captivating, honest profiles of pets needing rehoming.

SAFE urgently needs foster carers across our vast state and we’d particularly welcome more foster homes from Perth who can take our animals from any branches.

Fostering is a critical role which provides rehabilitation, training, caring and loving of animals to prepare them for their new lives with permanent owners.

If you’d like to make a difference and join the team of volunteers, please email karratha@safe. asn.au or phone SAFE Headquarters in Karratha on (08) 9185 4634.

A

nyone who has ever had a dog or cat wishes just one thing — that he or she has a healthy and long life. Here are five tips that can help your pet do just that.

1. Feed a high quality diet Pets fed a high quality diet have a shiny hair coat, healthy skin, and bright eyes.

A good diet can help strengthen your pet’s immune system, help maintain his or her intestinal health, help increase his or her mental acuity, help keep joints and muscles healthy, and much more.

2. Keep your pet lean Pets that are overweight are at risk for a myriad of health issues. Obesity is the number one nutritional disease seen in pets currently and studies have shown that being overweight or obese can shorten a dog or cat’s life span by as much as two years. Why? Being overweight or obese puts your pet at risk for joint disease, heart disease and diabetes, among other things.

3. Take your pet to the veterinarian regularly All pets, including both dogs and cats, require regular veterinary care. However, veterinary care goes far beyond routine vaccinations, even though those are important. A routine examination by your veterinarian can uncover health issues of which you are unaware.

In many cases, an early diagnosis improves the chances of successful treatment. Early diagnosis is also likely to be less costly for you than waiting until your pet’s illness has become advanced and serious before attempting treatment.

4. Keep your pet’s mouth clean A common problem among dogs and cats, dental disease and oral health issues can cause your pet pain, making it difficult for him or her to eat. If left untreated, oral health issues may even lead to heart and kidney disease.

In addition to regular dental checkups, the most effective means of caring for your pet’s mouth at home is to brush his or her teeth at home. If your pet isn’t a big fan of toothbrushes there are other alternatives as well, including dental diets, treats, and toys.

Ask your veterinarian for some recommendations.

5. Do not allow your pet to roam unsupervised Allowing your dog or cat to roam free may seem like you’re doing your pet a favour. However, pets that roam are susceptible to a number of dangers, including automobile accidents, predation, exposure to contagious diseases, exposure to poisons, and more.

Additionally, allowing your pet to roam unsupervised may alienate your neighbours should your pet ever "relieve" him- or herself in their lawn or dig up their garden.

23

24 21 July -11 weeks

GYMSTICK FITNESS

22 July continuous

CRAFT CIRCLE

FRI

7:00pm - 9:00pm

9:30am - 11:30am $180

9:00am - 12:00pm N/A

9:30am - 10:15am N/A

Monthly

UNIQUE PAPER CRAFT*

9:30am - 12:00pm $5.00

(+$15 kit)

$5.00 $10.00

24 July - 10 weeks 24 July - 10 weeks 24 July - 10 weeks

MOSAICS ZUMBA PLAYGROUP

9:00am - 12:00pm $50.00 TBA 9:00am - 11:15am $25 (+ins)

On enquiry

$5.00

N/A

$5.00

$10

$5.00

N/A N/A N/A N/A

$5.00

$5.00

$5.00

CASUAL

23 July - fortnightly 9:00am - 1:00 pm

SPINNERS & KNITTERS

$180 $180 $180 $180

9:00am - 12:30pm $50.00

9:00am - 9:45am 9:45am - 10:30am 10:30 - 11:15am 11:15 - 12:00pm

N/A

23 July - 10 Weeks 9:00am -11:15am $25 (+ins)

29 July– 9 weeks

PRE KINDY

22 July– 10 weeks

21 July- 10 weeks

TEXTILES

BADMINTON

21 July- 10 weeks 21 July- 10 weeks 21 July -10 weeks 21 July -10 weeks

SIMPLY MUSIC CLASS 1 SIMPLY MUSIC CLASS 2 SIMPLY MUSIC CLASS 3 SIMPLY MUSIC CLASS 4

7:00pm - 9:30pm

20 July - 10 weeks

SING AUSTRALIA

THURS PLAYGROUP

WED

TUES

COST/TERM

20 July - 10 weeks 9:00am - 12:30pm $55.00

TIME

20 July - 10 weeks 9:00am - 12:00pm $50.00

ART GROUP

MON

TERM 3 START

TIME 2 SCRAP

CLASS

DAY

Pre Kindy - for children starting school in 2016. A fun introduction to independent learning through songs, play & socialising. Limited places.

Time 2 Scrap- Join others to swap and share ideas for your scrapbooking.

Crèche available.

Craft Circle: Bring along a project and share a cuppa & a chat as you craft with friends.

Mosaics - Make pieces for yourself and family to beautify you home, indoors or out.

**** LEGEND ****

Swan Valley Community Centre Swan Valley Pre Kindy

Spinners & Knitters: Swan Valley Spinners meet every fortnight.

All welcome.

Unique Paper Craft: Make lovely cards, boxes, bags & more. Term 3 dates to be advised.

Badminton: Fun and fitness. Experienced players will enjoy. Call Alma 92961637

Cake Decorating: Alison from Vines Cakes can teach you how to ice, decorate & create beautiful cakes. Short courses available.

Gymstick Fitness: Join Zowie for a low impact / high powered workout.

First class free! - crèche

Annual membership fee : $2.00

You may enrol by e-mail, or phone in your details and class requirements. Alternatively you may enrol as you attend the first day of class.

* Extra costs for kits & materials.

Please note: most classes have flat fee of $5.00 - this means: NO discount for seniors And NO penalty for casual payers. (excludes music, gymstick, pre kindy)

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AGM & MEMBERS LUNCH - TUE 18th AUGUST SOUP LUNCHEON - MONDAY 14th SEPTEMBER ART, CRAFT & QUILT EXHIBITION - OCT 10 & 11

TERM 3 EVENTS - 2015

Playgroup - Meet other mums and children in your area. Secure grounds with great playground. Insurance required $30/pa to Playgroup WA.

Sing Australia - Vibrant and enthusiastic choir in the Swan Valley. Social singing for your own enjoyment as well as regular demonstrations.

Music - Play immediately songs, chords, blues, classical etc. using Simply Music method. Call Heather 9296 4181

Textiles - Quilting, textile making, bring your ideas along. Creating beauty with colour & texture.

Art - Join Gilly to help with your masterpiece.

All painting mediums are welcome here.

email: enquiries@swanvalleycommunitycentre.com web: www.swanvalleycommunitycentre.com

OFFICE HOURS: TUESDAYS 9am - 12pm

PH: 9296 1976 0419 922 791 .......

PO BOX 2568 ELLENBROOK 6069

BASKERVILLE HALL MEMORIAL AVE BASKERVILLE

MON 20th July FRI 26th Sept 2015

TERM 2 DATES:

ABN 96 485 991 546

SWAN VALLEY COMMUNITY CENTRE INC.

SWAN VALLEY COMMUNITY CENTRE - TERM 3 2015

REAL WEDDINGS EMMA & TREVOR

E

MEGAN ZIERSCH

mma and Trevor tied the knot on the wettest May day in history, and Verge Studio had the pleasure of being their photographers! Their colour theme of wintry grey with bold splashes of vibrant red, ensured this couple was going to have a fun, unique an unforgettable wedding day!

The couple first met back in 2007 through mutual friends, when Emma tagged along with friends for Trevor’s 21st birthday. The chemistry was instant!

More than a year later, they officially became ‘A Couple’. Their adorable first date was at Yu Restaurant at Crown Casino, where Trevor taught Emma to use chopsticks. They laughed and had a great time, knowing this was the start of something amazing…

Almost five years later, for Emma’s Birthday dinner, they went to Fraser’s Restaurant in Kings Park.

Little did she know that Trevor was about to pop the question! After a long and BIG dinner, they took a stroll to the War Memorial to look over the city lights.

When Trevor dropped to one knee, Emma was completely surprised. He asked her to marry him… and of course, she said YES! The following months were spent planning ... more planning ... and still yet more planning!

Emma had recently helped best friend Caitlyn plan her Big Day, so she already had a few

ideas.

Emma k new f r o m the start she wanted the Verge Girls as their Photographer; They’re so easy to get along with and the photos are amazing!

The bridesmaids had red floor length gowns (Emma’s favourite colour), and the guys wore grey suits. Emma’s g o r g e o u s bridal gown was ivory. The colours were gorgeous!

Emma and Trevor’s original plan saw them saying ‘I Do’ out of doors, with lush greenery and flowers as their backdrop … but Mother Nature had other plans.

Wedding Day, the 16th of May 2015, was the wettest day in history for the month of May (true story). So Emma and Trevor made the decision to move their ceremony indoors at The Boatshed.

Despite this change of plans, the happy day (a long, fun and blustery day!). couple says “Our wedding After the Big Day ended, They said “We would day was the MOST do it all over again, even with the weather (though hope not). It was truly amazing.”

PERFECT day I ’ d When asked what advice to they would give to other brides & grooms, Emma & Trevor said

“Plan the day YOU want, not what is going to please everyone else. Have the magical day YOU imagined. And also to take a moment between the ceremony and reception to take it all in.”

Photographs Courtesy of Verge Studio

us.” The location shoot was … wet!

As with all winter weddings, the sun set early, so there wasn’t much chance of those typically ‘Storybook Sunset Shots’…But the Verge Girls created some of the most cozy, romantic and artistic images ever – Gorgeous.

They entered their reception to the song Happy (by Pharrell Williams) and danced their bridal waltz to Look at Me (by Carrie Underwood).

They were having so much fun that after the official reception ended, Emma and Trevor kept the party going at the Crown. What a vision!

They wandered the gaming floor in the big puffy ivory wedding dress and suit, receiving with many compliments, congratulations and high fives), before heading up to their room to call it a 25

THE VOICE OF SWAN HILLS HANDING OVER THE REINS FRANK ALBAN MLA

I

n the 1990s Guildford and the Swan Valley were drastically in need of some tourism exposure.

With its state history and role in the fledgling WA colony, Guildford was largely unspoiled but was often bypassed by visitors.

Swan River. Travelling from Perth to Moulton’s Landing in Guildford, they were met by a double decker horse drawn carriage owned built by Ross Gundry.

This was the beginning of over fifteen years of service throughout the Swan Valley.

Ross personally constructed several different horse drawn carriages (the first made from the chassis of an old van!) suitable for transporting visitors throughout our Valley roads.

A feature of the rides is that the stops allow visitors to sample a variety of selections available in this

Ross has decided to move onto different pastures but the business continues to thrive with new owners Peter and Alida Watson taking the reins.

Peter and Alida have been involved in the horse industry for most of their lives. Alida grew up on a cattle station in the Pilbara before moving to Perth where she met her future husband. Peter was in the WA Police force and spent eighteen months at the mounted section in Maylands.

In 1983, they moved to South Hedland where, together with Alida’s mother, Barbara Greenfield, they raised their three daughters and ran Bosna Lodge Equestrian Centre, successfully training show horses and racehorses. On their return to the south in 1998, they owned and operated Bullsbrook Produce Co. Like many people familiar with the Swan Valley, Peter and Alida knew Ross and his team at Swan Valley Wagon Trails and when it came on the market, they did not hesitate to buy the business which they now run in collaboration with their youngest daughter, Sorrell and her business

“The launch of Ross’ first Swan Valley Wagon Trail…”

Few knew where the Valley was and so a shopfront in Waldeck’s nursery on Great Northern Highway was thought to suffice as an initial tourism and information hub.

In May 1999 a visitor’s centre was established independently by my wife Shauna and I, along with local business and community members to promote the obvious; the State’s first inland port and historic precinct, the natural gateway to the Swan Valley.

The old TAB site on James Street was converted (where Angel Flowers is now situated).

The current visitor’s centre is located in the old gaol and administered through the City of Swan.

To coincide with the official opening by then Minister for Local Government Paul Omodei, a re-enactment of the pioneer boat trip up in the

tourism recognised destination.

Art galleries, wineries, food and local business have all been destinations on Ross’ various wagon trails.

An icon in the Valley, Ross’ team of Clydesdales, manes flowing in the breeze, have been “…and after his last!” a welcome site on our tourism routes, bringing a unique historical flavour to the many ‘Charming Carriages’. While now renamed “Swan modern services now provided within the region. Valley Wagon Tours”, it will no doubt remain a staple of the Valley for years to come.

‘We bought three horses from Ross, Clydesdale mare Toffee and Percherons Johnny and June’, said Peter.

‘We also have the big Shire, Bob, from Charming Carriages along with two wagons and the beautiful Victoria carriage.

‘Our plan is to promote these gorgeous horses and give people a lovely time on a wagon tour, wandering around tasting Swan Valley wines and foods. We are also looking at ways we can customise tours to suit different events‘.

Ross is not yet lost to the Valley as he is supporting his partner Sue in a new venture, Swan Valley Bed & Breakfast.

While Ross’ role in the Swan Valley’s tourism has changed, the Clydesdales and the home made carriage full of enthusiastic tourists will continue to bring a smile to locals and visitors alike and we wish Peter and Alida all the best with their new business!

“Peter, Alida and Bob with a recent tourist delegation from WATEX” 26

NOTES FROM PARLIAMENT HON DONNA FARAGHER JP MLC Parliamentary Secretary to the Premier Member for East Metropolitan R egion

ELLENBROOK’S NEW SPORTING PAVILION Unit 8 Vale Town Centre 31 Egerton Drive Aveley WA 6069 Phone: 9296 7688

Email: frank.alban@mp.wa.gov.au

W

ith Ellenbrook and surrounding communities continuing to grow, it is important to have access to quality community facilities that bring people of all ages and abilities together through various sport and recreational pursuits.

To help achieve this, the Liberal-National Government has been pleased to support the City of Swan in the development of the Ellenbrook Advertisement

Your local Liberal East Metropolitan Members of Parliament

Here to help!

WESTERN AUSTRALIA

Hon Helen Morton MLC Ph: (08) 9452 8311 Fax: (08) 9452 8366 helen.morton@mp.wa.gov.au

Hon Donna Faragher MLC

Horse Drawn Wagon & Carriage tours in the oldest wine region of Western Australia, the superb Swan Valley 12001 West Swan Road, Henley Brook Ph : 0412 917 496 Email : heritage@swanvalleywa.com Web : www. swanvalleywa.com

Ph: (08) 9379 0840 Fax: (08) 9379 0845 donna.faragher@mp.wa.gov.au

Hon Alyssa Hayden MLC Ph: (08) 9274 8484 Fax: (08) 9274 7874 alyssa.hayden@mp.wa.gov.au

District Open Space precinct with a significant funding grant through the Community Sporting and Recreation Facilities Fund.

The project, which encompasses the recently opened northern pavilion and playing fields, is part of a much larger development by the City of Swan to create a comprehensive sport and recreation precinct which will also include a new southern pavilion and playing fields as well as an indoor recreation centre.

To support these new initiatives, the Government is also delivering on an election commitment with the announcement in this year’s State Budget of a $7million contribution towards the recreation centre.

Of the $7million commitment, $5million will be allocated to a sports centre comprising three indoor multi-purpose courts, gymnasium, change rooms and ancillary facilities. The remaining $2million will go towards aquatic facilities, subject to the outcome of the City’s aquatic facilities strategy.

When completed by the City of Swan, these new facilities will provide a whole new sport and recreation hub for residents of Ellenbrook and surrounding communities to enjoy.

If you would like to receive a free copy of the new, expanded digital Swan Magazine sent to you electronically and save a tree’s life, send an email to: editor@swanmagazine.com.au with ‘Subscribe’ in the subject line.

27

SWAN VALLEY & REGIONAL NETWORK MOTORCYCLE DREAM COMING TRUE

T

egan Montgomery has known Murray Manning almost twenty years. farings restored, brackets, cabling, mirrors, indicators etc.

For fifteen of them he's been bravely battling against Non Hodgkins Labour has been generously offered by Bruce Sharman, of Bygone Spares Lymphoma. His unique tenacity and will to and Restorations. Without his offer the continue is nothing less than a humbling project would likely be at a significantly experience to bear winess to. higher expense.

Tegan says she was honoured that Murray showed her the family secret - his MOTOR BIKE RUN dad’s BSA tucked away up in the back of Now you have a chance to help the the shed. She wishes she'd seen it twenty project. A Bike Run is being organised years ago and been able to assist earlier in from Masters Carpark in Ellenbrook on the getting Murray back on the road enjoying 26th July. the bike he inherited as a child when his Meeting at 10.00am the riders will dad died. head down thru the Swan Valley – then So she has begun a project - a project head up to Toodyay. From Toodyay to restore ito its former glory the 1945 BSA the group will work their way across to of ‘Gilly’ Manning. Now, more than ever, Bindoon and then to Murray Mannings the project has an urgency. The restoration home in Bullsbrook where a Sausage Sizzle can begin quickly and without fuss thanks will be enjoyed by all. to the experienced hand of Bruce Sharman Registration for the Ride is $20.00 The project in process of Bygone Spares and Restorations. paid on the day at the meeting place at The $5k target initial target has been Masters in Ellenbrook. The More bikes the met and the restoration started. A second $5k target was also met, so better - if you don’t have a bike – but would like to support Murray, you can things have now been sent for painting. This has been a wonderful start to follow in a vehicle. Any queries please contact Steve Renfrey – srenfrey7@ a beautiful restoration but more is required. gamil.com HOW THE FUNDS WILL BE USED To purchase parts from wherever necessary, including collectors, enthusiasts and restorers. $5000 was the first target, the second $5000 SUE HURT saw the engine and gearbox rebuilt and restored.

Another $5000 will add the spoked wheels and tyres onto fully lio Battistessa is the only child of Antonio Battistessa. restored forks and bars, all new brake systems and the frame prepared

Since Ulio’s diagnosis last year of Synovial Sacoma (a rare cancer) for painting. A further $5000 will include the finishing paint work plus at the age of just eighteen years old, he has undergone a year of intensive final assembly of the bike. The final $5000 is for all the fiddly bits - wiring, chemotherapy and several operations which have resulted in this young man’s right leg being amputated to rid his body of the voracious tumour.

Whilst the family are proud of his progress, it has come at a great cost emotionally, spiritually and financially as the alternative therapies that keep Ulio Jujol Battistessa him going are expensive and not covered by health insurance or Medicare.

Swan Valley Art Auction However, now there is an opportunity to help Ulio. Antonio has gathered some of the best artists in Australia to donate to a Special Art Auction to be held & Fund Raiser 6:00pm at Caversham House in the Swan Valley Western Australia on Friday evening the 7th of August 2015.

The auction includes a couple of exhibition pieces from Antonio himself.

When: Time: Dress: Friday 7 6.00pm for This is an art lover’s dream, with so many amazing art pieces, sculptures 1950's, 60's 6.30pm start & 70's Formal August 2015 and one-off furniture pieces going under the hammer by the irrepressible Live auction at Wear for a BIG auctioneer, Vince Garreffa.

7.00pm sharp Night Out Where: Along with the Price: Caversham House, award winning team $65 per person 141 Caversham Ave, Caversham of Caversham House, Bookings at links below everything for this event is donated TRYBOOKING: http://trybooking.com/IGHZ and ALL proceeds or http://trybooking.com/144871 or scan code on your smart phone go directly to assist This ART Auction is a fund raiser for Ulio, charming 20 year old son of well known Swan Ulio’s medical Valley artist Antonio Battistessa. He was diagnosed with synovial sarcoma cancer more than a year ago, and recently lost his leg to the cancer. We invite you to support Ulio in his ongoing treatment and care. ght against the cancer by attending this unique event at beautiful Caversham House.

Join in the Tickets include entry and delicious food from the award winning team at Caversham House, foodie legends Vince Garreffa of Mondo's, Vincenzo Velletri of Il Paiolo & Swan Valley’s Caroline Taylor of Taylors Art & Coffee House. community spirit, Wine & beer of the Swan Valley all $5 donation, gold coin for soft drinks. along with local The Art Auction will offer a remarkable selection of ne art, sculpture and other items artists, winemakers, by means of live auction, silent auction and xed price sale. For an online catalogue of items visit h�p�//�acebook.com/UlioBa�stessaCancerAppeal prior to the event. foodies, sponsors ALL art, hospitality, produce and event coordination is kindly donated. All proceeds go and entertainers for directly to the Ulio Jujol Battistessa Trust for his medical treatment and care. a night to remember.

The Battistessa family appreciates your generous support Tickets available Alternative ticket purchase – contact penelopej2000@yahoo.com through Try Booking Ticket numbers are limited, be quick for this amazing event – no ticket sales at the door, pre-purchase only!

– http://trybooking.

Ulio and Antonio Battistessa com/IGHZ.

CHARITY ART AUCTION

U

th

28

SWAN VALLEY & REGIONAL NETWORK LOST PERTH / SENSATIONS FAMILY FUN DAY

I

n December there is to be an event called Lost Perth \ Sensations that will take place in Guildford.

The Lost Perth/Sensations, Family Fun Day is set to take place on Sunday, 6th December 2015 from 10am – 6pm in historic Stirling Square, Guildford.

Ms Bromwyn Facer will be co-ordinating the event and there has been a Face book page to ‘Like’ and share specifically for this event.

The event will be having an input and participation from quite a few Swan Valley business’s, which is great.

Thanks to a great bunch of people, Lost Perth Sensations Family Fun Daywill bring back as many memories as possible and share with your children what we all grew up amongst.

From clotheslines to dunking machines, Flapper and Humphrey Bear, food to fancy dress, everybody is invited to enjoy live music all day

long whilst taking a trip back to Lost Perth.

Channel 9 and a generous group of sponsors will ensure the inaugural free Lost Perth Sensations will grow to share more and more fun every year just like back in the day.

HOW YOU CAN ASSIST ? · Visit and friend the new face book page.

The face book address is www.facebook.com/ lostperthsensations For more information and how to be involved, please refer to below contacts: · If you would like to be involved as a volunteer on the day or as a participant please forward an expression of interest to lpsensations@gmail. com or call 0449 615 059 to discuss. · Please ensure that if there is no reply upon calling to leave a message and someone will get back to as soon as is possible. · Bromwyn Facer is the Events and Marketing Coordinator for Lost Perth Sensations: lpsensations@gmail.com Tel. 044 9 615 059

SWAN NETWORK 2000 IS CHANGING

I

ntroducing Patty Williams. Patty is a small business owner and has been asked to facilitate and project manage the Networking 2000.

And to provide for you, the businesses, both small and large” a great night out with an opportunity to hear from, motivational speakers, industry bodies that can assist you, leaders in business, and the list goes on.

Please go along on the night as it is your opportunity to help shape the Networking Meetings so we all benefit It can be tough being in business so Network 2000 is planning to put the fun back. Remember that together as a group we can be very powerful!

PROPOSED SWAN NETWORKING 2000 FORMAT The networking sessions will run as follows: · 5.30pm to 6:00pm Registration. Sale of Raffle Tickets $5.00 for 3 tickets · Networking until 6:00pm · 6:00pm Introduction and Welcome (5 minutes, any business issues rising during the month) · Short Talk (1 minute) from the new chamber members · Talk from the Venue Host (5 to 10 Minutes) · Networking (Please bring business cards) · Guest Speaker (15 minutes) · Networking and Raffle Draw · Thank you, Feedback from businesses and notification of next meeting.

Meetings will be held on the second Tuesday of the month between 5.30pm and 7.30pm.

The cost to members: Each business can have two members from their business attend free.

Anyone else from the business, plus any new guests can attend at a cost of $25.00 per person. Cash or Eftpos available Bookings and RSVP is Important E\Please email the Chamber on dennise@swanchamber.com.au to reserve your place. Booking Form attached for your convenience.

It is important to let the Chamber know in good time that you will be attending as it assists the host with catering.

Going forward, I will be asking for input into the Guest Speakers, what you want out of the networking and feedback as to whether the events are meeting your expectations.

I look forward to seeing you all at the next event on Tuesday 14th July.

29

EDUCATION

30

FINANCE FIRB EXEMPTION MAY IMPACT COMMERCIAL PROPERTY STEVE BLIZARD

F

ollowing ten years of negotiations with China, on 17th June, Trade and Investment Minister Andrew Robb and China’s Commerce Minister Gao Hucheng signed the China-Australia Free Trade Agreement (ChAFTA) in Canberra.

However, this does not mean that the treaty has taken effect, as a number of steps are required before commencement.

These include review of the ChAFTA before the Australian Joint Standing Committee on Treaties (JSCOT) with a "National Interest Analysis" and the passage of legislation to enable the ChAFTA (primarily for Customs provisions).

Falling commodity prices have left Australia with a $35 billion budget deficit and the Federal government wants other sectors in the economy to offset commodity exports. Non-mining sectors will need to fill the gap if we are to shift away from our current reliance on natural resources.

And that’s where the ChAFTA theoretically should come to our rescue. There are pros and cons of the Federal Government's free trade deal.

Over time, potential benefits include: · Consumers may see cheaper prices on Chinese manufactured electronics and whitegoods. · Tariffs on Australian commodities and various manufactured exports will eventually be eliminated. · Tariffs of up to thirty percent for beef, dairy, sheep, pork, live animals, hides, skins and leather, horticulture, wine and seafood to be eliminated between two to nine years. · Tariff reductions or elimination for some processed foods including canned fruit, orange juice, and natural honey. · Australian tourism and hospitality operators can operate wholly-owned subsidiaries in China, including hotels and restaurants.

New multiple entry visas for up to 10 years should see 3.1 million Chinese nationals visit Australia in 2019. · China to allow Australian firms to establish profit-making aged care institutions throughout China, and wholly Australian-owned hospitals in certain provinces.

For Australian healthcare services, that amounts to 500 million new potential customers.

adversely affect their interests. been given to new investment terms established However, possible negatives for Australia include: under ChAFTA. With discussion around the sale of the Kidman · No tariff reductions for sugar, rice, wool, Enterprise, one of Australia's largest holdings of cotton, wheat, maize or canola. land, the Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce has revived Australia's foreign investment debate, · China has the discretion to apply additional saying he'd support a ban on foreign state-owned customs duties if imports of beef or milk powders companies buying farmland. exceed certain limits.

However, under the new trade agreement, the threshold of FIRB screening for Chinese investors · Threshold for Foreign Investment Review targeting commercial real estate has been lifted Board (FIRB) screening of Chinese investments from a comparatively low $252 million to a massive in "non-sensitive sectors" (ie. excludes agriculture, $1.094 billion, in line with existing limits on media, telecoms and defence) rises from $252 private business investments. million to $1,094 million.

The only barrier to new Chinese investment is now local planning approval. · Chinese firms will have some rights to sue One example is the massive state-owned Australian governments for policy changes that Chinese property developer Greenland, adversely affect their interests. constructors of the 600 unit Greenland Centre tower in Sydney's Central Business District. · Chinese investors in projects valued over Greenland has an annual turnover of $50 $150 million will receive additional rights to bring billion, dwarfing that of any Australian company. in temporary migrant workers to Australia without Another example is Zone Q, the Australian local labour market testing. arm of ­Chinese developer JiaHe JianAn Group.

The Zone Q apartment project on Labouchere Road, South Perth, will be twenty storeys of luxury UNLOCKING CAPITAL FLOWS ChAFTA aside, economists and regulators dwellings, overlooking Perth Zoo, and will include across the globe are grappling with the impact of a $30 million seven-storey commercial tower with retail ground floor.

China opening its capital borders.

As Chinese Premier Li Keqiang relaxes capital- The Chinese developer bought the two lots of flow regulations, the nation’s excess savings, with the site for the Pinnacle development in 2013 for deposits standing currently at $27 trillion, will be $10.7 million and has purchased two other sites in WA’s capital, which it will develop in the future. gradually invested overseas.

While China is unlikely to open the floodgates altogether, the unleashing of Chinese capital will INVESTOR IMPACT reverberate around the world. Chinese regulators While overseas investment is welcomed, rather plan to give wealthy individuals more freedom to than question “if” capital inflows from China will put their money abroad. impact Australian property markets, investors need Under a trial program, Chinese citizens with to carefully consider “how” and “to what extent”. net assets of at least one million yuan in cities With strong demand from Chinese investors including Shanghai and Shenzhen will be able to and willing developers, this may eventually result invest directly overseas, potentially opening up in an oversupply of high-rise apartments in some billions of dollars in Chinese savings onto global capital cities, driving vacancy rates higher and stock and bond markets, according to a Securities eventually driving down rents.

Times report.

While the additional housing supply may While there have been extensive media reports bring much needed relief to Treasurer Joe Hockey, in Australia about residential and farm purchases investors need to ensure they don’t get caught that breach FIRB conditions, little attention has should markets turn.

· Australian businesses will be allowed to take a majority stake in joint ventures providing services in agriculture, forestry, hunting and fishing in China. · Improved access to partnerships with Chinese firms for legal and financial services in China, but 49 percent Australian ownership limit on financial services joint-ventures. · Australian firms will have some rights to sue Chinese governments for policy changes that 31

WHAT’S ON IF YOU WOULD LIKE AN EVENT LISTED IN THIS COLUMN RING JAN ON 9298 8495 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Glen Forrest Group Every Monday evening We meet at 7.00pm at the Glen Forrest Uniting Church, Mc Glew Rd, Glen Forrest. Call Dermot 0488 905 211 or John 0448 074 536 or the Perth Office (all hours) 9325 3566.

AUSTRALIAN BREASTFEEDING ASSOC. Discussion groups, guest speakers, morning tea. Free breastfeeding counselling. Expectant mothers, mothers, babies and children welcome.

National Breastfeeding Helpline 1800 686 2686 is a 24 hour 7 days a week service.

Swan/Mundaring Group meets every Monday, 9:30-11:30am at the Gumnuts Family Centre, 8 Mudalla Way, Koongamia. A qualified ABA counsellor is present at each meeting to give confidential information and support on breastfeeding issues. Contact Natalie 9572 4971.

Kalamunda Group meets fortnighly on a Thursday, 9:30-11:30am at the Maida Vale Baptist Church, Edney Road, High Wycombe.

Contact Jenny 9252 1996.

Northam Group meets each second Tuesday of the month at the Bridgeley Community Centre, Wellington Street, Northam 10am to Noon.

Fourth Tuesday each month at Toodyay Playgroup, Stirling Terrace, Toodyay. Noon to 2pm. Please phone Louisa 9574 0229.

HILLS CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT GROUP 1st Wednesday of each month Hilltop Grove Estate, 1645 Jacoby Street, Mahogany Creek. Morning tea provided, between 10.30 - 12.00 noon.

Enquiries Terina 9572 1655.

THE HILLS CHOIR Monday Evenings Do you enjoy singing and joining with others to make beautiful music? Come and join the Hills Choir. We meet from 7.30 to 9.30pm at the Uniting Church on Stoneville Road, Mundaring. Contact Margie on 9295 6103 for further information.

SWAN VALLEY SQUARES – ELLENBROOK Every Friday Night Modern Australian Square Dancing from 8.00 pm – 10.00 pm Woodlake Community Hall, 1 Highpoint Blvd, Ellenbrook. Friendly, fun and low cost. No previous experience necessary. All Welcome. Contact Greg Fawell 0417 912 241 or www.swanvalleysquares.weebly.com SWAN HARMONY SINGERS Every Wednesday evening Swan Harmony Singers are welcoming new members, especially men, to join us at the Salvation Army Church Hall, 371 Morrison Rd, (opposite Swan View Primary School), Swan View.

We meet from 7-9pm, to sing music ranging from jazz to pop, plus the occasional classic.

As we are starting on a new programme of songs, 32

this is the perfect time to join. No auditions.

ELLENBROOK COMMUNITY For more information, call Chris on 9298 9529 or WEIGHT LOSS CLUB 0435 062 728. Come and sing with us!

Every Wednesday evening We meet from 6.45pm to 8.00pm at the Woodlake Community Hall, Meeting room 1.

GUILDFORD MARKET Highpoint Blvd, Ellenbrook. Friendly support Third Sunday of every month At Guildford Town Hall, Corner of James and group and low cost. Male and females of all ages welcome. Contact Shirley 9276 7938 Meadow Streets. 9am - 3pm.

Situated in the heart of Guildford, within five shirleysardelich@aapt.net.au. minutes walking distance from the Guildford Train Station, a visit to the Guildford Market is SWAN WOODTURNERS GROUP sure to please. meets in the rear hall of The Senior Citizens’ With a diverse and unique array of locally Centre, The Avenue, Midland, at 1-00pm. on 1st, handcrafted products and produce, there will 3rd, 4th, and 5th. Tuesday, and at 7-00pm. on be something of interest for all. From garden 2nd Tuesday of each month. A demonstration ornaments, homemade jams and relishes to and cuppa are the norm. Men and Women are handmade soy candles, cards, bags, cushions, welcome. Enquiries to Ted 9295 4438. children’s toys, bears, baby and children’s wear.

Individually designed and crafted glassware, TALKING HORSES jewellery and beautifully made wood products Wednesday evenings 6:00pm and so much more to tempt you. Sausage sizzle, The WA Horse Council equestrian radio live music all day. program is now in its seventh year. The Make a day of it, stroll around the markets and programme is broadcast on the Community Radio then take the time to wander about the heritage Station 91.3 SportFM. listed town of Guildford. Enjoy a picturesque The program is presented by Chairperson Heritage Walk Trail or pay a visit to the antique, Diane Bennit and includes any issues that the art and craft shops along the cafe strip. horse industry is facing, international news, Enquiries: Bromwyn, 6278 4252. interviews with personalities who are experts in their field, and information on breeds and major MORRIS DANCING events, All welcome. It’s like bush dancing, with sticks If you are out of radio range, go to www. and bells. It’s aerobic exercise and great fun! sportfm.com.au/programs then ‘Talking Horses’ Tuesdays 7-9pm practice, Guildford Town Hall, and listen live. For Podcasts www.sportfm.com. cnr James St and Meadow St, Guildford. And au/programs/podcasts then ‘Talking Horses’, drinks later at the Woodbridge Hotel with live click on your choice of downloads from the four Irish music available dates.

For more information please contact: To ensure that your club, event, breed or Christine hogan: 9279 8778 business gets coverage, call Diane Bennit 0409 Email: madtattersmorris@iinet.Net.Au 083 617.

Website: madtattersmorris.Myclub.Org.Au SWAN VALLEY COMMUNITY CENTRE ELLENBROOK LOCAL & GENERAL MARKETS Monday Mornings The Art Group meets at Baskerville Hall from 9am Saturday, 13 June This is a family friendly indoor market featuring – 12pm for just $5.00 per session. a variety of handmade & unique market stalls, The group leader is Gilly, she can help and face painting, hot coffee, gourmet food and free advise with most media. Feel free to come and children’s craft and giant games activities held have a look and meet our local artists – they are a from 10am to 2pm at the Ellenbrook Salvation very friendly lot, new members welcome!

For more information call 9296 1976 or email Army Hall (Woodlake Blvd).

For more information call 9524 8845 or email: enquiries@swanvalleycommunitycentre.com Web: www.swanvalleycommunitycentre.com. markets@streethassle.com.au MUSTARD SEED - DISCOVERING COMPUTERS Mustard Seed is a non-profit organisation and caters for all aspects of everyday computing.

Ability levels from beginner to advanced are welcome and learners proceed at their own pace.

There are desktops, laptops, iPad and Android tablets, scanners, printers and Wi-Fi broadband internet. Cost is $3 per session.

To gain a place in third term enrol now.

Forms and information are available. Phone 9299 7236 or 0416 815 822 or E. discoveringcomputers@westnet.com.au.

TUESDAY BADMINTON CLUB Tuesdays Join us for Social Badminton from 9am - 11am at Brown Park Recreation Centre. Beginners Welcome. Contact Miriam 9274 5058.

BUSINESS CARD BOARD ACCOUNTANT

CARPET CLEANING

ELECTRICIAN

AIR-CONDITIONING

CEILINGS

ENGINEERING

BOOKKEEPING

COMPUTER SERVICES

FIREBREAKS

PC Surgeon

Servicing most areas

A Sick Home PC? Treating viruses and software Low Cost Home Visits Professional advice Police Clearance 9295 5238 (All Hrs)

BRICKPAVING Specialising in Brickpaving & Soakwells

FREE Quotes No job too big or too small Call Larry: 0431 057 124 or 6278 2301

CALLIGRAPHY

DRY CLEANERS

GARDENING

FOR QUALITY & FRIENDLY SERVICE • Wedding & Evening Dresses • Doonas & Blankets • Curtains • Woolens/Silks etc • Alterations and Mending

Phone 9295 1488

Shop 5, Mundaring Shopping Centre 7025 Great Eastern Highway, Mundaring

EDITOR

GARDEN SERVICES

Need an editor?

Get expert advice on layout, editing, costings, publishing and marketing from a professional editor.

First consultation free. Free quotes.

Swinburne Press (founded 1989) P: 6296 5161 E: douglassb@iinet.net.au

Your business could be here in colour from as little as $80.

Ring Jan on 9298 8495 33

BUSINESS CARD BOARD GLASS

PUBLISHERS

Have a book to publish? v Family History v Non-Fiction v Autobiography v Biography v Fantasy v Fiction v Poetry

Swinburne Press (founded 1989)

P: 6296 5161 E: douglassb@iinet.net.au

IRRIGATION

PLUMBING

Bore installations, all pump requirements Reticulation, pipe and fittings Pump repairs and service. Water tanks Unit C/7 Orchard Avenue (next to Cov’s)

MIDVALE PH: 9274 2201

GRAPHIC DESIGN

REAL ESTATE

TREE SERVICES

Just Trees

Your Affordable Local Tree Service Pruning - Lopping - Removals - Mulching

9274 3236

~ Fully Insured

~ Call for a Free Quote

7B Bushby Street, Bellevue, WA 6056

TUITION

CALL FOR A FREE ASSESSMENT MUNDARING - 9295 6255 ELLENBROOK - 9297 3654

TUITION

tive c e f Ef uitar G GUITAR TUITION & BOOK SERIES

Graham Rawlins

graham@effectiveguitar.com

T: 9252 0927 • M: 0419 341 251 www.effectiveguitar. com

MAINTENANCE

RUBBISH REMOVAL

TV ANTENNAS

OPPORTUNITIES

STONEMASON

WEB DESIGN

COMMISSION SALES Swan Magazine is looking for someone to sell advertising.

The position would suit a selfmotivated person who wants flexible working hours.

We offer generous commission rates, training and advice.

Ring our editor, Jan Patrick, on 9298 8495 for an appointment to discuss options.

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Your business could be here for $80.

Ring Jan on 9298 8495

A TASTE OF THE WORLD

A HAPPY CHRISTMAS GIFT & SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL AUTHOR!

$20 FOR 2 BOOKS!!

If you love TRAVEL, FOOD & TRUE STORIES from the HOSPITALITY Industry, containing over 50 RECIPES, then Come and Explore the World with Ellenbrook’s ‘The Chef Explorer’!

TWO BOOKS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE, and an IDEAL CHRISTMAS PRESENT OR TWO!

A SUPER SPECIAL FOR SWAN MAGAZINE READERS OF $20 FOR THE 2 BOOKS, (OR $12.50 EACH) * THAT IS A SAVING OF $22 ON AMAZON & BOOK SHOP PRICE!!

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