Griffiti Magazine Issue 55

Paul wi

VI E TER W

a ms I N i l l

Top Ten

Typecasted Actors

e d i s n I

in debt

in office

interior

A letter from the Editor Issue 55 April 2013 Contributors Belle Cleary Chelsea Bryan Claire Aston Daniel James Diarmuid Crowley Drew Peacock James Dooely Jenny Elisabeth Graatrud Kathleen Kubek Lance Kerrigan Malin Larsson Marie Landsverk Stephen Donnery

Getting involved in Griffiti Magazine Anyone wishing to contribute to Griffiti magazine should email su.president@gcd.ie or visit Ian Donegan (Editor) in the SU Building or attend the weekly meetings, every Wednesday at 5:30pm in A010

Griffith College Students’ Union South Circular Road Dublin 8 Email: griffiti@gcd.ie

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ummer is a month away and I still can’t leave the SU without wearing at least three layers. This is a weird country.

Anyway, welcome back, we missed you.

I hope you found assignment week entertaining if not productive, I know I never did!

For this issue Griffiti got a hold of the Sunday World’s star investigative journalist, Paul Williams who speaks to us about the dangers of working in such a volatile industry and gives his advise to anyone looking to embark on a career in crime journalism.

Claire and Sean give their usual rundown of their work over the last month and what they have planned for the foreseeable future in State of the Union, always a great read for the party animals and the sport heads alike.

The Students’ Union have their annual elections coming up so if you would like to get involved in the madness that is being a sabbatical officer drop into the SU, pick up an application sheet and get ready for one hell of a ride! Just remember that the deadline for applications is Wednesday April 3rd.

There is a great article inside by James Dooley on the issue of colleges hiring debt collection agencies to retrieve funds from students. Should it be allowed?

In focus this month is Interior Architecture. We exhibit the work of those students

who spend days on end in the bunker, only coming out for coffee and cigarettes.

We have our usual reviews from the world of movies and tech.

Finally, you will notice that the back cover of this issue is a poster for Griffith College’s trip to China. It is nothing short of the trip of a lifetime.You need only pay for your flights and everything else is subsidised.Your accommodation, your food, everything. Besides that, you get to experience an amazing culture. For more details email su.manager@gcd.ie.

Please continue enjoying the best years of your lives!

Contents

Editor, Ian Donegan

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State of the Union What have we been up to?

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SU News

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Interview Paul Williams Star Crime Reporter

10 Colleges hiring Debt Collection Agencies 12 In Focus: Interior Archecture 14 Party People Can you see yourself?

Griffith Magazine is the Students’ Union Publication at Griffith College.It was established in 2004.

All contents copyright of Griffiti, reproduction of any part of the magazine without permission is prohibited.

The views expressed in Griffiti do not necessarily reflect that of the college or the SU

16 Reviews Movies, Music and Tech 22 The Genuine Article 24 Creative Writing 28

Griffiti Meetings

Wednesdays at 5:30pm in A010 Get Involved!

state of the union Claire Aston Entertainments Officer

H

ey everyone, how is everything?

I hope semester two is treating you all well even though the dreaded and loved assignment week has just past, I am sure that the stress is worse than ever.

Let’s face it, assignment week is dedicated to doing everything EXCEPT assignments. Not sure if I ever studied during my own assignment week.

We went surfing at the beginning of this month. This of course seemed like a great idea because of the constant amazing sunshine that we get here in Ireland..... not!!! The first day of surfing was lovely, and some people actually managed to stand and really got the hang of it. Unfortunately, the SU staff weren’t as gracious and kept jumping off the boards, like determined babies learning how to walk but we enjoyed ourselves and that’s what counts.

The second day was a bit more Irish with the sun hidden behind the clouds, but most people struggled through the cold and got surfing. Of course

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this wouldn’t be an SU trip without some stories coming back, such as our very own Ian Donegan’s sleepwalking antics.

Well done Ian for making the weekend just that bit more entertaining for us all.

As I’m sure everyone knows RAG (Raise And Give) Week has just passed and we have done our very best to raise as much money as possible for Crumlin Children’s Hospital and I think we succeeded in doing just that.

Through the events alone we managed to raise €1,361 so thanks a million to everyone who came along and showed their support.

It was a busy week and we all powered through. Monday was the return of another Party in Arthur’s bar which was School Disco themed. As well as having people looking like Will from the Inbetweeners and girls in school skirts that I am sure were not allowed to be that short, we also had the inaugurantion of Pope McGlade who served us well in his week of power, unfortunately he then resigned.

Tuesday night saw the return of the Beer Pong tournament, followed by a Table Quiz and Poker night on Wednesday.

Prizes such as Griffith Ball tickets, hotel vouchers and booze were won. The last event was The RAG Blowout Party in Whelan’s that ended the week in style and celebrated the fact that we survived another week of partying.

The next big thing is the Griffith Ball, tickets are now €45 and are selling fast. It is guaranteeing to be a good night, with prizes on the night, such as an iPad Mini and a weekend break away. So be sure to come in and get your tickets soon.

See you Around. :)

Sean Alari Clubs & Societies Officer

H

ello Everyone,

I hope that you’re assignment week has been productive and that you’ve all managed to hand in your work on time. If not, don’t worry. It’s not the end of the world!

I know we’ve had a rotten few months of weather but hopefully things will pick up for April.

If it’s your second or third year in Griffith, you’ll know that there’s nothing better than enjoying a few drinks with your friends out on the green on a nice sunny day. So here’s hoping.

For the most part, the end of March marks the end of our sports season. Some battles have been won and some have been lost. Nonetheless, you’ll be happy to know that your classmates and friends have competed proudly for Griffith College.

My thanks go to the Mixed Badminton team and to the Women’s Volleyball team for finishing in 3rd place in their own respective leagues.

It was heartbreaking for the volleyball girls to lose that quarterfinal spot by only

2 points in the league table.

However, I am sure that we will have another great chance next year to take the scalps of DCU and IT Carlow.

Our women’s football team is ready for a match. So to all the other Colleges & Uni’s out there that have chickened-out, we say BRING IT ON! Our Table Tennis team deserves a special mention this month as they managed to win the Table Tennis Intervarsities Plate for the second year in a row.

Our men’s Basketball team could have obtained a record second promotion in two years but just fell short in the final two matches against IT Tralee and Waterford IT. The lads are training hard for the upcoming April Intervarsities in University College Cork and will need all your support to raise funds for their trip.

The Drama & the Beer Pong Soc have been going very strong this semester with great numbers at each meeting and have been great craic.

We will shortly be having a Beer Pong Basketball Fundraiser so make sure you don’t miss out on that.

The first Radio Society meeting was held on Monday the 25th in the Griff FM Radio Studio. It was a productive meeting and we really hope that it will lead to bigger and better things.

Our Poker Society met for Rag week in Arthur’s Bar alongside the wackiest 12 table quiz teams we’ve ever seen.

Both events were a huge success and we are extremely thankful to the students who participated in this fantastic initiative to help Crumlin’s Children Hospital.

Right so, enough of me.

See you next time.

su elections taking place on wednesday 17th and thursday 18th of april in arthur’s bar and restaurant hustings starting monday apr 15th in arthurs bar at 12:30pm - 1:30pm

the results will be announced at the griffith ball on april 19th

Have your say in who runs your SU

SU NEWS

Surf trip to Lahinch

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or some years there has been an annual request that the SU hold a surf trip.

Entertainments officer Claire Aston was adamant from the beginning that she would be the first to take on the challenge.

The trip was worked out so that it would cost only €50 for students to travel to Lahinch, Co. Claire in the west of Ireland, stay for two nights and get two surfing lessons.

Griffith, always bringing the fun included one of the SU’s beer pong tables in our luggage just incase things got too quiet.

The only major obstacle of the trip was overcoming the bitter

RAG Week 2013

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aise and Give Week is annually dedicated to not only throwing a party for students but also to raise funds for a given charity. This year’s charity was Crumlin Children’s Hospital and we raised €1,361!

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Give yourselves a round of applause.

RAG Week 2013 started on Monday March 11th. The first thing anyone was likely to see on this day were the giant colourful bouncy castles on the pitch. No matter how old we get, there is no resisting a bouncy castle!

That night there was the

cold of the Atlantic Ocean but anyone who has ever used a wet suit will know that they are like magic.Your feet hurt like all hell for about 5 minutes and then you just get on with it.

The Sunday morning was full of the groans of highly hung over students but the mass majority of our gang made it as far as the waves and powered through.

Everyone seemed to come away with a good idea of how to ride the waves after the weekend and even the seasoned pros improved.

The weekend was a lot of fun and there are good signs of a repeat trip in the year to come.

School Disco party in Arthur’s.

Most students made an effort and came along looking like they weren’t a day over 17.

This night also included the inauguration of the Pope of RAG Week. Voting started on the Friday before hand and out of five contenders James McGlade (Journalism and Visual Media) came out victorious.

Claire Aston gave him the ‘Big Pope Hat’ and he was then bound to attend every RAG Week event. Impressively, he succeeded in this feat.

The SU hosted a Beer Pong Tournament on the Tuesday with ‘The Pope’s Gimps’ (Dabo Sashi and Paul Sheehan) winning the cup and receiving a crate of beer for their efforts.

The Wednesday night brought

us back to Arthur’s Bar that was this time hosting a duel event.

On one side of the restaurant, a poker tournament raged on and on the other a table quiz.

There were so many spot prizes on the night that barely anyone went home empty handed.

As it was Seachtain Na Geailge (Irish language week) as well as RAG Week there was Irish music down in Arthur’s during lunchtime and signs around the campus translating everyday phrases into Irish.

And so we came to the end of the week and with it the RAG Week Blowout party which saw the remaining party animals of the week banishing their last vestiges of energy on the dance floor of Whelan’s Late Bar.

suelections2013 the positions up for grabs

president

Duties Communications Officer Editor of Griffiti magazine Welfare Officer

entertainmentsoff icer

Duties Vice President Organise and promote events

sports&societiesoff icer

Duties

Organise and promote Sports and Societies Deadline to submit your application to the SU Wednesday April 3rd at 5:00pm Applications available at the SU Elections are on April Wednesday 17th and Thursday 18th The result will be announced at the Griffith Ball on April 19th

Do you like being interviewed? paul williams

The Sunday World’s Crime reporter Paul Williams speaks to Griffiti about his experiences in his very dangerous job Griffiti: Do you like being interviewed?

Paul: Not really, no. I just don’t. Especially personal interviews. I just don’t see their relevance with what’s going on in the area that I work in, you know?

Griffiti: What do you do be than anyone else?

Paul: I have no idea. Probably nothing.

Griffiti: What’s the best thing about your life at the moment?

Paul: I’m not a very philosophical person about my life

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like that. I’m never particularly happy about my life at any stage. I always want something else, to achieve something else.

I suppose I’m very lucky to be healthy and to have a healthy and happy family. Those are the best things in my life at the moment anyway.

Griffiti: What did you want to be when you were young?

Paul: I wanted to be a soldier. I always had a massive interest in the military. I ended up spending 15 years with the reserves here. I was hugely interested in it. I’ve always

crime journalist

been a military buff. I loved the whole thing about the army life. I probably would have joined it as well only that there was no recruitment going on at the time.

Griffiti: What is your top tip for someone wanting to make it in investigative journalism?

Paul: Well, basically you need a bit of a personality.

One of the most important things about journalists is that they have to build up contacts. You need a database of contacts.

Meeting people and getting to know people and convincing them to impart information onto you that they would be disinclined to impart onto

I have always carried that light because Veronica should never be forgotten

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others. That’s very important.

Another thing is you have to build up trust with people. You don’t turn to somebody and tell them their ‘off the record’ and then run an interview in your newspaper or whatever medium you’re working on the next day. If you say to somebody that you’re not going to quote them then you’re not going to quote them. Do you know what I mean?

I think there’s too many people running off and don’t give a shit who they railroad in the process. I don’t think that works in the long run.

Griffiti: Journalists and Gardí are said not to get on as they are both after different things. In, general, how do you get along with the Gardaí?

Paul: I have always been primarily involved in crime journalism so I have gotten to know quite a lot of gardaí through the years. A lot of my friends, and I have never made any secret of it, a lot of my closest friends are policemen.

So I have a good personal relationship with a lot of them.

There is always a conflict going on between the Garda management and professional journalism. They’re always worrying and complaining

about leaks to the media and all that kind of stuff and investigating it and wasting a lot of time doing it as well. Garda management are basically like politicians.

Griffiti: What’s the most frightened you’ve ever been as a result of your job?

Paul: I don’t know if I’ve ever been really scared doing it. I don’t think so. Perhaps a lot of things that I should have been scared of, I wasn’t at the time because I was too Gung Ho to notice or maybe I didn’t understand at the time the implications.

There was one time in 2003 that I knew that I had been set up. In fact the Guards told me at the time that I was being set up. This was long before there was a hoax bombing on my house or anything like that, where these people were talking about taking me out. They invited me to an international conference at one stage and two senior guards came to me and warned me to look out for number one, if I was asked to speak at any international conferences and number two was that a number of people might come to me telling me about stories that would stand up and that would be very good.

This was advice directly from the highest level of the guards at the time which was kind of a bizarre thing and I didn’t think about the implications until afterwards.

Sometimes it’s not until a while after that you look back and see the significance of something like that, the idea that these guys were going to have a go at me. So you don’t actually get scared, it not until afterwards that you think “that was a close one.”

Griffiti: How did Veronica Guerin’s death effect investigative journalism in Ireland?

Paul: I’ve been doing crime journalism since 1987/88 and she was murdered in 1996 in fact the two of us were keen competitors at the time.

What I did after that is make sure that nobody ever forgot that this happened, that this woman was murdered for doing her job. The same thing

happened to Martin O’Hagan in the Sunday World in the North of Ireland in 2001. He was shot dead because he was doing his job an it’s an extraordinary thing to say that on a small island in modern developed Europe, a modern democracy at peace that two journalists were shot dead for doing their jobs.

So I have always carried

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time, yeah. That day I went out to the site where Veronica was murdered, I was the first journalist on the site because we got a call from the scene from a couple of friends of mine, the guards and I were so shocked. I suppose I was afraid for myself at that point to think of the selfish motivation needed to decide that they were going to murder her. You

There is always a conflict going on between the Garda management and professional journalism

that light because Veronica should never be forgotten and it’s also important to keep it in the public mind because after a number of months it will start to flip. What police with brains realise is that if you keep an idea like this in the public domain and keep people reminded about it, it inadvertently puts pressure on the people involved in these crimes and the people around them.

Then if people who may be able to offer some intelligence on the matter have an argument or some other kind of falling out with the people involved they will be more inclined to speak to the gardaí about these suspects.

Griffiti: After her murder did you have any apprehension about continuing your job?

Paul: Well, my family were very very concerned at the

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genuinely thought that it was never ever going to happen, it would be inconceivable.

It was shocking and stressing and everything. After this happened I started writing about the gangs involved and

one day I was out with my children. We were outside the Cimemax in the square in Tallaght and I had them in one of those Postman Pat back and forth rides.

I put them in there and I was standing watching them and this guy comes over and starts talking to me. But even though he was talking to me his head was aimed down at me kids and he basically told me “you better stop writing about us, or else”. He spoke in a northern accent and he turned out to be Declan Duffy who is known as Declan ‘The Wacker’ Duffy who is quite notorious.

Griffiti: Do you think that schooling in journalism is necessary to make it in the industry?

Paul: Oh, it is. I started in Rathmines in 1983\84 and it was an excellent course. In fact, the number of people who did well after that course was seriously impressive.

One of my closest friends, Stephen Rae did that course with me and he is currently the editor of the Irish Independent.

It was a great course but they always advised that if you were offered a job to take it.

So during the summer I was offered a job and I took it. I was actually one of the only people in my peer group who ended up staying in Ireland.

Remember, Ireland was completely stagnant in the ‘80s.

Griffiti: Thank you for speaking with us, Paul.

Paul: No worries!

Crime Journalist, Veronica Guerin.

Murdered in 1996 9

Features Students being tracked down by debt collection agencies

by James Dooley

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everal Irish universities have begun to pursue past students for un-paid fees in respect of their studies at those institutions. These universities have begun using debt-collection agencies to recoup the money.

The largest college in the country, University College Dublin (UCD) became the second such institution, after the University of Limerick, to confirm that they have engaged the services of agencies to purse students for un-paid fees. UCD posted an EU tender notice revealing it was “seeking expressions of interest from interested parties to provide professional services relating to collection of outstanding monies within UCD”. The contracts are believed to be worth in excess of €200,000 annually. The agency working on behalf of the University of Limerick has already begun to contact students.

They were followed by Dublin City University (DCU) who has also hired debt col-

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lectors to recover outstanding student contribution fees.

Grainne Mooney, a public relations officer for DCU stated that “The University uses a third party independent agency where necessary to follow up on outstanding amounts owing to the university”. The National University of Ireland in Maynooth has also begun engaging such services. A spokesperson for NUIM said: “Where all other alternatives have been exhausted, and repeated attempts to communicate have been unsuccessful, we outsource the debt retrieval to an agency. Students owing outstanding fees cannot graduate from the University.”

It is unclear whether all the agencies are pursuing current students or graduates or even both. Grainne Mooney of DCU has said “The third party agency operates under procedures and protocols agreed with the university.” However, the college has said it would not rule out bringing students to court over the issue.

Sheena Doyle, Press Officer for the University of Limerick released a statement relating to the announcement. “As a public body the University of Limerick has a duty to seek

to recover outstanding debts.

Students are currently not permitted to graduate with outstanding student fee debt.

Having applied a range of debt collection practices, the University of Limerick, like other Irish universities and other public bodies, uses external mechanisms as a last resort in recovering long standing debts.

The University of Limerick currently does not issue legal proceedings over outstanding student fees.”

However despite this, it was reported by the Irish independent on February 13th that a debt-collection company working on behalf of the University of Limerick (UL) has threatened legal action against past students. The agency has contacted both graduates and students who left before completing their course.

TNC Collections is an English-based company with offices in Dublin. It is believed the company began sending letters to past students in December. One student who has owed the University of Limerick fees for over a decade reported that a letter was sent to an address they had previously resided at asking for immediate payment of the

outstanding fees. Two weeks later, TNC Collections issued a second letter threatening legal action.

Third-level students currently pay an annual contribution fee of €2,250. However this could rise to as much as 3000 for students in the coming years. On February 2nd 2012 the Minister for Education warned students when speaking at the inaugural Issues in Irish Journalism seminar at the University of Limerick that College registration fees could increase to €3,000.

“We now have this €2,000 fee going up to €2,250 next year and probably increasing up to €3,000. There has been a squeeze on the administrative fund and that squeeze will continue for the next two years,” said Mr Quinn. However, in light of Government cuts in funding to universities these increases will not provide additional revenue for third level institutions.

The Union of Students in Ireland (USI) has stated that it opposes the use of debt collection agencies. John Logue, USI President stated: “We condemn these tactics in the strongest terms. These debt collectors serve only one

Features purpose: to intimidate students into coughing up money they simply do not have. The dramatic increases in college fees in recent years, set to be €2500 this September, has seen far too many students drop out of college. Their work prospects have already taken a hit as a result of not graduating, yet these universities are demonstrating gross insensitivity by employing debt collectors when they should be working with the students to come to a more amicable arrangement.”

The USI has called on the minister for education, Ruairi Quinn to prohibit the practice, however Sarah Miley, a spokesperson for the Department of Education noted, “Higher Education Institutions are autonomous bodies and the Department has no role in their day to day operational affairs. However the Department would hope that institutions deal with students in a sensitive and understanding manner in relation to the payment of any outstanding arrears”.

John Logue said that although he can appreciate that universities must try recover the money there are students who simply cannot pay. “Debt collection must be the last resort (and) I’m not convinced that it actually is (for these colleges).”

The National University of Ireland Galway, Trinity College Dublin and University College Cork do not currently use debt collection agencies to pursue students for fees.

These developments will come as a shock to students and may be viewed by others as being in very bad taste given the financial problems that have plagued many of those relying on grant aid. Recently, several students’ unions have had to distribute bags of food to students as many were still waiting on their payment of the first round of maintenance grants by Student Universal Support Ireland (SUSI).

The Galway Mayo Institute of Technology, where about half of all the students on their Galway campus qualify for some form of grant aid, found the student population were

severely affected by the delays in the system. Anita Mahony, GMIT’s student assistance fund administrator has said “We have students who are having mental breakdowns because of financial worries, students suffering from stress, students going to Vincent de Paul for help.

We had one student who was living in a shed with no electricity or running water.

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college. Those that remained found they could not gain access to their college library and other resources including exam results as the obligatory €2,250 contribution, which is covered for those eligible for the grant, had not been paid.

Cat O’Driscoll, Vice-President of Academic Affairs in USI, said in January “Many students are telling us that they are looking at dropping out in the next

Many students are telling us that they are looking at dropping out in the next week or two We define severe cases as those who have no financial support or family back-up.”

Athlone IT was also forced to set up a soup kitchen in response to the critical lack of finances available to students for food.

The newly set up body responsible for paying grants to students SUSI had claimed that many of the problems were due to incomplete applications made through SUSI’s website. As of November 8th just 18,000 of the 66,000 applications had been processed through the new system, with 9,000 refused.

Figures from January showed that 5,575 students were still awaiting the payment of their first instalment of the college grant despite the fact that many were about to enter their second semester.

Some students’ unions claim the delay has caused some students to drop out of

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week or two,” In many cases these students will now still owe the college the contribution fee for the entire year despite the fact that many will have completed only one semester and not have been granted access to their exam results.

When the new authority for awarding student grants, Student Universal Support Ireland (Susi) was launched, in June last year, it was heralded as an “excellent example of public-service reform” by Minister for Education Ruairí Quinn. The old system was not without its flaws, and cheques were often late. However, Cat O’Driscoll says, “In the old system, students generally got the letter saying they had been awarded the grant around October. They could show the letter to their landlord.” This has not been the case this year.

In some respects these developments should come as no

surprise. University finances have been struggling for the past few years as Government funding has contracted by 20 percent but student numbers have continued to grow. Universities have regularly called for an increase in the student contribution charge.

However, things are no better for the students attending these universities either. Since Ireland entered recession students have fallen on extremely harsh times, especially those in receipt of grants who have been left reeling from cuts in their payments year on year.

Many have found they have no choice but to drop out of college as they are unable to meet the excessive financial burden. Many still owe their former college large sums of money despite not being in a position to finish their courses and graduate with a degree.

Where students have been squeezed out of the third level education system it is unlikely they will be able to pay any fees now.

In recent years though, there seems to be a pervasive attitude of non-payment in Irish society. From Mortgages to student fees, bank loans to emigrants fleeing the country leaving their debts behind them. Of course there is a difference between those who cannot pay and those who will not pay. Student fees are certainly not billion euro loans and those who have owed money for such a long period should not be just let off the hook. In the case of current students or recent students forced to drop out, such tactics are extremely harsh.

However, regarding students who have owed the colleges money for a decade or more, nobody can argue that these individuals should not be pursued. In post Celtic Tiger Ireland there are those who look to shun the responsibilities they took on regarding their finances. The unfortunate reality is that what we borrow we must pay back and likewise, where we avail of college services, we must also pay for these. Ireland cannot continue to fund the way for those that, despite being able, refuse to pay their own way.

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In Focus

Interior Architecture

Marie Landsverk - Coloured Glass

Malin Larsson - By the Riverside

Jenny Elisabeth Graatrud Origami

y t r a P e l p o e P

Reviews

Two Tech pages This month on Griffiti tech, its Rumours, Rumours and more Rumours with Apple and Google, tweeting from beyond the grave, Facebook’s facelift and the EU stirs the tech world.

by Lance Kerrigan

Google Rumours YouTube Music streaming

There is much talk about a music streaming service from YouTube. It’s no surprise given that YouTube is a popular place to listen and to promote new music.

The rumours include a free service with ads and a subscription service that would be ad free. If YouTube does branch into this area, it will be battling with other music services like Spotify. However given its current popularity it could be a superpower in the music streaming industry.

Google Glass

Google Glass, the highly anticipated but

drawn out, augmented-reality glasses are going to be available to purchase by the end of this year, according to Google. Developers can apply to pre-order them for the price of $1,500 (€1150) while the rest of us can expect to get it for under that when it finally launches. Google is speeding up the time line for release from it previous launch date for 2014. Google Glass has been talked about for quite some time and Times Magazine listed it as one of the “Best innovations of the year” 2012.

Apple Rumours ‘iTunes stream’

Apple may also be entering into a music streaming service if the latest rumours are correct. Its been reported that Apple is in talks with Beats CEO Jimmy Iovine over a partnership for a digital streaming service. There have already been rumours about a radio style service coming to iTunes after users discovered hidden and inactive buttons hidden deep in the code. Rumours also include that the service is delayed due to negotiations with music labels over royalties.

iCategories

The heat is up with talk of a possible HD TV and a smart watch dubbed iWatch.

Apple have always said Apple TV is a ‘Hobby’ but the rumours surround a HDTV accelerated when CEO Tim Cook commented in an interview saying ‘its an area of intense

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interest…’ just after commenting “When I go into my living room and turn on the TV, I feel like I have gone backwards in Time by 20 to 30 years.”

Apple is due to update its current Apple TV set box by adding a HBO on demand app for cable subscribers in the US. But it’s getting everybody talking about new moves on a potential TV. Some Tech sources are suggesting that we could see a 40 or 50 inch HDTV this year.

However, the rumour has slightly cooled off lately as focus has drawn onto an Apple Smart watch. This is an exciting rumour as we are seeing a lot of smart watches this year and Apple creating one could deliver a whole new innovation. Typically everything is just speculation as Apple is letting nothing slip. Rumours include a team of 100 people working on the device, a design like the 6th gen Nano style device or a curved glasses design, sensors for health tracking and full iOS capabilities. Another rumour is that the device is having battery issues.

Bloomberg has reported the possibilities of a launch this year.

Analists still think we may see something in both areas after Apples Shareholder meeting in February noted that Apple is working on ‘New Categories.’

I guess this is an exciting year for Apple and Google Fans.

Reviews

EU Tech Chronicles The EU is certainly making technology news world wide first with Microsoft.

Microsoft is facing a fine of €561 million from the European commission over failing to settle an agreement to offer its consumers options on different Internet browsers.

Microsoft has apologised for what they described as a technical issue.

EU rules against TV Catchup LTD

A court ruling in the EU has declared that original broadcasters have the right to prohibit redistribution of their Free-toair channels online by third parties. This comes after an action was taken against TVCatchup LTD, who provides an online

streaming service for Free-to-air channels including Channel 4 and BBC. Their argument was that they only provided the service to subscribers who held a ‘valid British TV licence’ and only provided channels that were already freely available on television. However the courts ruling is that the original Broadcaster (‘The author’) has the exclusive rights to prohibit or authorise communications of their channels.

its users news feeds. The new design gives users a combined experience on both browsers and mobile devices.

facebook’s

New Design

EU Wide dodged

On Tuesday March 12, members of the European parliament rejected a proposal that would have banned all forms of Pornography.

The wired.co.uk reported that the proposal was focused on ‘eliminating gender stereotypes in the EU’ and promoting gender equality. It was article 17 of this report that caused the concern of the ban where it proposed to “ban all forms of pornography in the media” it also quotes “a charter to which all Internet operators will be invited to adhere”. Although pornography is a divided and sensitive topic for many, and exposure to pornographic material is becoming a concern in everyday life, one thing that was a concern for everyone is the topic of regulating and controlling of the internet and ultimately unearthing the controversial topic of internet monitoring and freedom of expression online. The proposal had a majority rejection of 368-159 votes. (98 abstained)

Facelift for Facebook

Facebook has unveiled a new design to

The new layout includes larger displays of photos and maps but the biggest feature is filtering feeds under categories like photos or music and whom you follow or just show everything. Currently users won’t see the new design but can sign up to be on the waiting list when it becomes available.

Liveson

Liveson is a new application that will tweet for you after you die.

The Artificially intelligent systems will analyse your tweets, like and the way you type, to build a profile of your twitter character. When you die the service will be able to continue tweeting messages on your behalf and do so very similar to how you would have tweeted.

Wonder what it will tweet during the users burial ceremony?

Visit the SU Website at GCDSU.ie 17

griffiti at the Movies

Cert: 12A Release date: Out Now Running time: 115 mins

“Why won’t you let him get to know you?”

“I’ve had things happen to me in the past, things that still scare me.”

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owerhouse romantic author Nicholas Spark’s latest film adaptation, “Safe Haven”, is a disappointingly simple reproduction of a plot equation that has resulted in millions in revenue since the release of “Message in a Bottle” in 1999 and peaking with “The Notebook” in 2004. Step one: set the scene: a postcard-ready beachside town. Add one heroine, more complex than her Neutrogena model facade may disclose.

Combine with a bruised but equally beautiful male lead.

Drop in a life-altering obstacle that threatens to keep these star-crossed lovers from the happily-ever-after they deserve.

Have tissues within arm’s reach for the dramatic but oh-so satisfying finale. With the exception of a welcome sprinkling of thrill, Safe Haven does not sway from this all too recognizable territory. It’s as easy as 1,2,3 for Nicholas Sparks who seems disinclined to sway from the sappy equation.

The story begins in Boston, where Katie (Julianne Hough) is tense, brunette, and on the run. Choppily filmed flashbacks reveal that she has fled from a toxic marriage to Kevin Tierney (David Lyons), a sadistic, vodka-swigging Boston detective. She chops and bleaches her hair, boards a bus, and lands on a whim in the sleepy town of Southport. There she catches the eye of South-

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port’s most eligible bachelor, charming widower Alex (Josh Duhamel). Still adjusting to life as a single parent of two cute kids. Alex is uncertain about his family’s life after his wife’s tragic death to cancer.

Katie is initially reluctant to make ties with the locals in the close-knit community.

However Alex happens to run the town general store, which Katie conveniently frequents.

Cue a spontaneous day trip to the beach with the kids and a canoe date cut short by an unforeseen rainstorm and their blooming love affair is certain.

Loner neighbor, Jo, (Cobie Smulders) also works her way into Katie’s life with persistent philosophical counsel. Regular flashbacks to a Tierney hellbent on finding his wife remind us that all is not peachy.

Unseasoned Hough, of Dancing With the Stars fame, is fresh and likable, but her inexperience is obvious as she struggles to emote naturally for the wide range of scenes asked of her. Duhamel seems more suited for this sort of role. He was particularly convincing as a father struggling with the difficulties of raising two young children, of whom Mimi Kirkland shone.

True Sparks fans know what they are getting into and they won’t be disappointed. The thriller aspect was refreshing, but disappointingly drowned in Hallmark melodrama. Bottom line: stay home and rewatch “The Notebook.”

Chelsea Bryan

Cert: 8 Release Date: Out Now! Running time: 99 mins “We don’t need to be friends. We’re family”

W

ith Tony Scott dead, people will wonder what his last film was.

The answer is Stoker which he produced along with his brother, Ridley. The chilling thriller was directed by Chanwook Park who film fans may recognise for his work on Oldboy. Although it’s not as violent as Oldboy, Stoker still has shocking scenes which would traumatise the squeamish.

The film views the life of the strange young woman India Stoker (Mia Wasikowska) after her father, Richard (Dermot Mulroney) died in an accident on her birthday. She is left with her posh mother Evelyn (Nicole Kidman) who shares nothing in common with her.

Things get complicated as they meet Richard’s brother, Charlie (Matthew Goode).

Charming yet mysterious, Charlie is welcomed by Evelyn with open arms yet he is more intrigued with India attempting to bond with her. However, India feels that Charlie is hiding something sinister underneath his charm. With people disappearing left and right, could Charlie have something to do with it?

Wasikowska is still a young actress yet has made her name noticed in Hollywood.

Her performance in Stoker is good as she provides the right balance of innocence and

awkwardness. Kidman’s portrayal in Stoker provides great practice before her upcoming role as Grace Kelly.

The biggest problem has to do with the timeline. While skipping from past to present constantly adds that sense of mystery, Stoker uses this too much to a point where it becomes irritating. Another concern for some is the content. There are disturbing scenes with India and Charlie that may be looked as controversial yet they were included for more important reasons than shock value.

This writer feels that this film has a disturbing storyline.

Having said that, it is very difficult to add extra eeriness to modern cinema. The camera style as well as the actors and music help to make it go a step ahead over most creep shows. It also brings back an attack of nostalgia reminding this writer of another Kidman thriller The Others although Stoker is a more mature film in terms of content.

While Stoker will not go down in the history books as an instant classic, it’s still a very good film. For anyone who likes something creepy and alternative would enjoy Stoker. With interesting camera work, good acting and a script and music that match the tone, Stoker is also worthy for fans of thriller. Tony Scott may have passed on but his final work will go down at the very least as a critical success.

Diarmuid Crowley

griffiti at the Movies

Cert: 15A Release date: Out Now! Running time: 88 mins

“Whatever you do, don’t eat the fucking candy”

T

he idea is that Hansel and Gretel, having evaded a horrible fate as children in the witch’s candy cottage in the woods, are now all grown up, and they have become super-cool kick-ass witch hunters – in a weirdly regressive sibling partnership – roaming the vaguely Germanic countryside armed with steampunky shotguns for the purposes of blasting witches with maximum violence. They are by Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton.

Peter Stormare phones in a bad-guy performance as some sort of a tyrannical mayor, and Famke Janssen plays an evil witch whose face is always turning into that of an old crone.

It manages to be nasty as well as dismal. There is a great deal of brutal violence, and people getting their noses broken and heads squished. Women are punched and kicked all the time. People also have an unpleasant habit of registering their surprise at something by saying things like: “You’ve gotta be shitting me” in a charmless way we haven’t experienced since the Matrix sequels.

How did this movie get to be this terrible? It may possibly have started life as something rather different. Two of its executive producers are Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, and if the film was not originally conceived as some sort of high-concept comedy with

the grownup witch hunters perennially squabbling among themselves? Oddly, the movie does begin with a halfway-decent gag: bottles of milk have crude line drawings of missing children on them, like milk cartons in modern-day America.

It seems to belong to a rather different film. Perhaps the film got changed somewhere along the line, comprehensively rejigged as a humourless fantasy action adventure.

This is a film that does not neglect any opportunity to be abysmal. Gemma Arterton, who can be very good in the right part, has to play Gretel with an irritating, phoney, swaggering American accent, to match Jeremy Renner’s; baffling since everyone else has a sort of Europa-ish peasant voice.

She is someone else who has this sadistic infatuation with violence, smirking at one of her victims that “it won’t be an open casket”.

The oddest thing about this movie is how it feels it has to give both leads some kind of romantic interest in order to nullify the creepy, incestuous impression. Hansel gets to go nude-bathing with a comely white witch, but all Gretel gets is a bizarre and platonic “beauty-and-the-beast” relationship with an ugly giant called Edward with a huge, misshapen head. Why? It doesn’t develop the plot in any interesting way whatsoever.

I would not waste my time with it again.

Daniel James

Cert: 15A Release Date: Out Now! Running time: 99 mins “Depression is the inability to construct a future”

T

he mysterious story of Side Effects tells the tale of a woman’s struggle when she is lead to act in unusual ways, after being put on medication for drpression. This movie, directed by Steven Soderburgh and rumoured to be the last movie he will direct, is filled with anticipation. A star studded cast including Jude Law, Channing Tatum, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Rooney Mara.

The film opens in a modern New York apartment but not everything is as it seems, with puddles of blood and footprints draped through the apartment, setting the scene for the type of movie you are in for.

The film then transports you 3 months in to the past, where you find out the truth about what is going on in the lifes of Emily Taylor (Mara) and Martin Taylor (Tatum).

After being in prison Martin Taylor is let go and the strain is put on Emily to continue life as normal, which in turn becomes a bigger struggle for her than expected. As stress and depression gets the better of her she reaches her limit.

With the help of Dr. Banks (Law) and Dr. Seibert (Zeta-Jones) Emily is put on on a medication Ablixa to help her deal with the stress, but in turn experiences some side effects which lead to unusal acts and mysterious behaviour.

After Dr. Banks’ reputation

is under scrutiny and he is removed from his practice, he begins to investigate and furthur research the medication.

He works with Dr. Seibert to get to the bottom of the story, and figure out what really happened in that New York apartment, and why.

Side Effects, takes you on a journey of suspense and mystery, as the story unravels, the truth about the side effects and shocking discoreries when the truth is brought to light.

Side Effects is the last film of Soderburgh’s long and extremely successful directing carreer, and is added to a long list of movies covering a mass of genres such as, Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Magic Mike and many more.

Soderburgh says that he doesn’t enjoy making blockbuster films, and keeps all the films he directs on low cost budget. Which only adds to the fact that he can create such intense and successful films. As a director, he bases his work on a strong script rather than the added effects that a so many films have these days.

Side Effects is another film that he has managed to surcome to this style, with an amazing story line and great line up of actors, it surely does not dissapoint in comparision to his other movies. This is one that he will definitely be proud to have directed and to call his final movie.

Claire Aston

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griffiti at the Movies

Smith VS Cruise

T

he summer of 2013 has a wide selection of films to enjoy from the return of well-respected heroes to novels being glamorised on screen. However, two upcoming films have managed to follow the post-apocalyptic genre as homage to the theory that the world would end in 2012.

While the world may not have ended, both Oblivion and After Earth wish to be hypothetical and show what would happen years later where mankind is limited.

In April, audiences will be introduced to Oblivion which stars Tom Cruise. He plays a drone repairman and ex-Marine Jack Harper who lives above the now damaged earth with the remaining of mankind led

by Morgan Freeman. Sixty years after the earth’s destruction, Jack’s life changes when a woman outside of his society crashes her spacecraft on earth wondering if they are more humans out there in space.

In June, After Earth will follow as Will and Jaden Smith play a role they are familiar with in real life yet this environment is more extraordinary. The two are from Nova Prime: a place where mankind lived after certain events made earth unliveable. They crash on earth and when Will’s character gets injured it up to Jaden’s character to find resources to keep them

Top 10

TYPECASTED ACTORS Adam Sandler From Happy

Gilmore to Big Daddy, it seems that Mr Sandler has been playing the same character but getting involved in a different story. This typecast showing an insecure, witty slacker who has a love for sports and requires serious anger management.

Sylvester Stallone Like his

Expendables co-stars, Sly lets his fists do most of the talking. Whether it’s boxing in Rocky or killing in Rambo people know two things to expect in Stallone films; His character means business and somebody is going to get their ass kicked.

Johnny Depp Everyone knows

Johnny Depp as the zany Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean.Yet if you

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alive. He goes on a quest of discovery and questions what he knows just like Jack in Oblivion but rather than confronting a human, Jaden must tackle a mysterious alien force.

One could argue that the genre alone is not justice enough to say that both films involves it. However, there is more to it than meets the eye. Look at the protagonists. Both Cruise and Smith are known by even the causal fans of cinema and receive the same mixed reviews from critics. If one views the supporting cast, they would see that both have a character in HBO’s popular show Game of Thrones. Oblivion has Nikolaj Coster-Waldau also known the Kingslayer Jaime Lannister while After Earth has Kristofer Hivju who will play wildling Tormund Giantsbane in the upcoming third season.

As mentioned, both question the future and how mankind will handle certain issues whether it’s how to re-introduce society or deal with the cause of earth’s demise.

With such a narrow time gap between the films and pretty high similarity between the two, you have to question why would

were to look at Depp’s other characters like Sweeny Todd or Edward Scissorhands, you see a similarly awkward yet lovable aura surrounding them.

Samuel L. Jackson He’s in

everything!

Jennifer Aniston After Friends went off the air; people thought they’d never the see six protagonists again. They were wrong because if they went to see any of Aniston’s clichéd rom-coms as she reprises her role as hopeless romantic Rachael Greene under different names trying to find Mr Right.

Michael Cera Every film that Cera has been in, he shares the same shyness that his character, Evan had in the popular Superbad. Even the superpowers he possessed in Scott Pilgrim couldn’t mask that quite, nerdy characteristic onscreen making it Cera’s typecast in Hollywood.

Christopher Lee For a Hollywood legend that’s worked since 1945, it comes as a shock to think that a veteran actor

Hollywood do this. Is it a test to see who is better at showing a post-apocalyptic world?

Possibly, but this isn’t the first time that Hollywood have brought out two similar films at the same time.

In 1995, cinemas in May showed the flop Gordy which was about a talking pig then in August the hit movie Babe was released which of course was also about a talking pig.

It is uncertain whether Oblivion or After Earth would be the Babe of post-apocalyptic films this year. However, one fact is that with such limited timing between the two and following such a similar story, it irritates those who want variety with their movie calendar. One could have been saved for 2014 but I suppose it’s not the end of the world.

Diarmuid Crowley

would be a typecast. However, we overlook the common ground that Dracula, Saruman and Scaramanga have as super villains due to Lee’s natural charisma.

Zach Galifianakis Adding his name to the list of anti-social typecasts is Mr Galifianakis. However, as seen his show stealing performances in The Hangover and Funny or Die with peculiar antics and hilarious quotes, he makes Cera and Depp look like average Joes.

Christopher Walken When acting on stage, Walken always added a weird alternative to classical plays.You can see that same lunacy in his films too from A View to a Kill to True Romance to his most recent work in Seven Psychopaths.

Morgan Freeman No disrespect to all Freeman fans but the Oscar winner has been playing the same role for decades.

Whether he’s Red in The Shawshank Redemption or Somerset in Seven, Freeman’s characters are always the film’s pearl of wisdom. That typecast made him the perfect guy to play God in Bruce Almighty.

THE GENUINE ARTICLE

Wanted

A pink Wheelbarrow, a fluffy cube with the number 9 on the side, 23 French students and a genuine photograph of Theodore Roosevelt for elaborate practical joke.

Please don’t alert law faculty.

Arthur’s Meal Deals taking over students’ lives

O

besity in Griffith College has skyrocketed since the introduction of the ‘Meal Deal Combo’ to Arthur’s.

The deal offers a 12” Pizza, potato wedges, seven chicken wings and two cans of coke for the low low price of 11.99.

The Genuine Article spoke to one enormous victim of the restaurant’s latest machiavellian scheme.

‘It’s turned my life upside-down. It’s such a good deal but after three deals a day you’ve spent 36 Euro. I’m a student, I don’t have that kind of money to throw away on meal deals. I get up in the morning and I

22

say I’m not getting the deal today, but I’m just kidding myself, I’m an addict, I need it, man!”

Said the student while gorging on a fresh meal deal and struggling to breath.

Some Griffith students have resorted to prostitution and other illegal activities in order to get a fix from the cafeteria resulting in a criminal underworld forming in the college led by the old lady who works in the shop on campus.

It is thought, although it has been impossible to prove, that the lady who works in the on campus shop is the head of this ring.

The Genuine Article has spies outside the little wooden hut around the clock but all she seems to do is sell sweets.

The GA will update readers on her

movements in future issues.

Fights have broken out between friends who purchase the deal together over who gets the last chicken wing.

This was Arthur’s plan all along. They offer an odd number of wings so that people fight and end up getting the deal to themselves instead in future.

This way, Arthur’s makes twice as much profit while students’ lives are ruined.

But for just 10 Euro a month you can help stop the surge of the meal deal on Griffith College. Call 1860 69 69 69 and make a difference today.

Unattractive, fat people are technically people as well so help them to not be so hard to look at.

Porn now a Subject in Griffith

T

he Genuine Article caught wind of this advert in the Student’s Union, did a bit of investigating and is delighted to announce the existence of a pornography course in the media faculty in Griffith College.

We do admit that it was a long time coming. Right now, 30,000 people are watching porn and to meet this vast demand a new porno needs to be made every 39 minutes. The Genuine Article commends Griffith in their identifying this very large niche and preparing our students to take full advantage of it.

We cold not be placed in a more ideal spot for the industry either, with Ireland being the second most common country to Google the word ‘Porn’ in the world.

We got beaten by South Africa.

This may come as a shock to many of our more reserved readers but in the current climate with may as we use what we’ve got to try and get through this hump.

NEWS IN BRIEF

Library volunteers to host next SU Event College director accuses the Drama Society of “acting out” What is the difference between Interior Architecture and Interior Design?

The Investigation continues.

Seth MacFarlane declines offer to host Griffith Oscars Ball Several students missing since St. Patricks Day but College is confident they will stumble home eventually.

College appeals for Australian translators. Must be able to speak AND write the language.

Under the

Spotlight

Robbie Smyth Occupation: Lecturer/ Freedom fighter Greatest Ambition: To have an office to himself Hobbies: Asking questions that nobody knows the answers to Likes: When Barry Finnegan is not in thier office Dislikes: Being answered Interesting fact: Filled out a Career Test at the age of 15 and his result was ‘Assassin’ but went for teaching because “there is less jumping around.”

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Creative Writing

Wonders Never Cease

M

olly, her boyfriend Tim and a group of their friends travelled into the countryside to a music festival taking place on the grounds of a gigantic mansion. As they made their way towards their campsite each person was asked to write a wish on a little piece of paper which they then tied to a tree near the main arena.

Molly gazed at the beautiful tree with thousands of tiny pieces of paper tied to it, each wish fluttering in the light breeze.

She knew straight away what her wish would be and wrote it down. She then tied it to the highest part of the tree she could reach.

The group set up their tents in a large circle in the campsite closest to the main arena. They decided to get their weekend started straight away and all sat around their circle drinking cans of beer and eagerly talking about the acts they wanted to see. Molly, however, was too excited to sit still and was desperate to see more of the arena.

Molly became bored and quickly convinced Tim to go exploring.

As Molly slipped her favourite bright red jacket over the little blue summer dress she was wearing, a small box fell out of the sleeve. Puzzled, Molly picked up the box which was decorated with tiny silver stars.

She gently took off the lid and found inside two tiny, delicate pieces of blue paper with little white rabbits in the middle. Beside the paper was a note which said “Eat Me”.

“What is this?” Molly asked, showing the box to Tim. “Oh yeah,” he said, smiling sheepishly. “Just a little surprise.”

He took the box from Molly and picked up one of the pieces of paper. He gently placed it on his tongue and handed her back the box with a smile. “Take one.” Molly looked apprehensive but was a huge believer in experimenting and decided that if Tim thought it was OK then it must be. She took the remain-

ing piece of paper and put it on her tongue.

“OK, let’s go explore!” said Tim, taking Molly’s hand.

As they reached the place where they had to show their wristbands Molly held out her wrist to a security man.

“Flesruoy yojne, ssim uoy knaht,” said the man after he had checked that she had the correct wristband. Molly looked at him with a puzzled expression on her face. The man repeated himself and pointed Molly in the direction of the main arena. The second time he said it she listened carefully and realised he was talking backwards.

“Thank you miss, enjoy yourself,” Molly whispered to herself.

“What did you say?” asked

man attached the tubes to Molly and Tim’s faces and started the oxygen machines in front of them which bubbled and let out the same kind of light as the man.

“This is weird,” Molly said. As she did so a puff of pink smoke came out of her mouth spelling out the word “weird”.

“What was that?!” Tim exclaimed when suddenly blue smoke came rolling out of his mouth. The pair began to laugh as more and more smoke came out of their mouths, spelling out words they were saying. They were laughing so much that they didn’t notice the man returning to their side of the bar looking angry.

“WHO ARE YOU?!” he bellowed. Tim and Molly looked at

She jumped, taken aback and looked into his eyes which didn’t seem to be his own anymore Tim as he followed Molly through the barriers.

“That man was speaking backwards to me,” she replied pointing back at the man.

“What?” said Tim. “Never mind,” Molly replied still looking mystified.

They reached the oxygen bar which was a small square bar with a canopy roof and stools all around the outside. They sat down and were approached by a man who seemed to shimmer and reflect different coloured lights from his skin.

“Two, please,” said Tim. The

each other and both decided to do the same thing. They jumped up from their seats pulling the tubes out of their noses. As Molly turned she accidentally knocked over one of the tanks of water. It crashed to the ground as they started to run away.

“What just happened?!” Molly shouted as they ran as far away from the oxygen bar as possible.

As they walked Molly stumbled over a rock and hit into some of the glittering trees.

“Hey, watch it!” cried a tiny little voice. Molly turned in

shock, just in time to see all of the lights on the tree shoot off into the sky. “Watch where you’re going!” said one of the lights flying right in front of Molly’s eyes. It was a tiny little fairy with a little light on her back.

She shook her fist at Molly and Tim and then flew off into the sky after the other fairy lights.

Then, there came music from deep in the woods.

“Let’s follow that music.

There must be people there,” Molly said. She didn’t want to tell Tim but she was beginning to get scared. They walked past more huge trees covered in tiny fairies. There were hundreds of strange looking flowers, some tall, some small, which seemed to have faces of their own.

Eventually after walking for some time the music sounded as if it was just beyond a thicket of trees in front of them. From far away the music had sounded soft and melodic but up close it was completely different.

There was a lot of screeching and banging and people’s voices singing out of tune.

They emerged from the trees to find the strangest scene.

There was a huge dining table, almost taller than Tim’s 6 foot two frame and longer than a mini bus. It had huge seats all along the edges and was covered in a giant table cloth.

At the top of the table sat a man who was much larger in every respect than any man Molly had ever seen before. He was wearing a brown and orange patchwork waistcoat and beige trousers. He also had a large hat on which fell below his eyes as he sang tunelessly along to a song. Further down the table sat another man in the same sort of outfit. He was waving a pocket watch above his head and jumping up and down on his chair while singing the same song. He kicked tea cups and tea pots as he danced.

“Maybe we can ask them where everyone is,” Tim suggested, walking forward. Before Molly could stop him, Tim had shouted a question at these bi-

zarre men. “Excuse me, where are the people?”

As soon as Tim spoke Molly knew it had been a very bad idea. Both men stopped what they were doing and the music fell silent abruptly. They looked around astonished by the noise that had interrupted them. The man at the top of the table noticed Molly and Tim standing, quivering.

“Who goes there?!” exclaimed the man at the top of the table in an excited, flamboyant voice.

“I’m Molly and this is Tim. We’re just wondering where all of the other people are.”

“Other people? Other people?!” roared the man. “What other people, my dear child? We are the only human inhabitants of this fair forest! Come, come join us for tea!”

Molly and Tim exchanged looks of disbelief but figured they should oblige considering these were the first people they had met. They crawled up onto chairs beside each other, opposite the other man with the pocket watch who seemed to have lost interest in the new arrivals already.

“TEA? Would you like some tea?! Have some tea!” shouted the eccentric man from the top of the table. Molly began to decline but before she could the man sent two tea cups sliding down the table at speed. Tim put out his hands and grabbed both cups before they went flying off the table. He passed one to Molly.

“Oh, thank you,” Molly said, staring at the empty tea cup in front of her. She looked at Tim who shrugged. As they drank their imaginary tea the two men continued with their song. When each new song was finished they would talk to one another in a way that sounded almost riddle like. Molly could make no sense of any of it.

In the middle of the table in front of him sat a huge, old top hat which had an almost vintage feel to it. It was dusty and was ripped along the top. He reached for-

ward, picked it up and before Molly could stop him, placed it on his head.

Tim’s eyes immediately became wide and glassy. To Molly’s horror, he effortlessly joined in the conversation with their hosts. He too spoke quickly in riddles and looked as if he understood the pair of men.

“Take off the hat,” Molly whispered but Tim didn’t acknowledge her. She reached forward and tried to grab the hat but before she could Tim whipped around and stared at her. She jumped, taken aback and looked into his eyes which didn’t seem to be his own anymore. He began to shout at her in the weird way he had been conversing and seemed to be getting angry.

“Stop!” cried Molly but Tim kept going. “Stop, Tim! It’s me, Molly! Please it take off!” But he continued to shout at her.

Molly was terrified. She looked at the other two men who seemed to be getting angry too and decided the only thing to do was run. She didn’t want to leave Tim but she had never been so scared. She threw herself down from the chair and with one last look at Tim, who was banging his fists on the table sending tea cups flying everywhere, she turned and ran back through the woods.

She finally reached the edge of the forest. She stopped and looked around for anything she could recognise. No matter which way she turned she couldn’t find the gate they had come in. She ran for what felt like hours. Finally she gave up and collapsed in a heap on a carousel which had appeared in front of her.

“What’s wrong with you?” a mischievous voice said.

Cautiously she peaked through her fingers and looked around.

There was no one about. She looked at the extravagantly decorated horse behind her which was part of the carousel and swore she saw it’s eye flicker. She decided it was just her mind tricking her but considering the day she had had she wasn’t entirely certain. She turned again and put her head in her hands not knowing what to do. Suddenly she felt some-

thing grab the back of her jacket and before she knew it she was being lifted into the air and thrown onto the horse’s back.

“This will cheer you up,” said the horse with a maniacal laugh as the carousel began to move. Molly screamed and tried to jump off as it began to pick up speed. Soon it was going so fast that she could barely see anything.

“Please stop!” she begged as she clung to the horse’s neck.

The rest of the horses all began to laugh as Molly screamed and pleaded with them to stop. “I just want to go home!” she cried, helplessly spinning faster and faster around. Tears began to stream from her eyes but these were no ordinary tears.

As soon as they left her face they turned into enormous drops of water. As the tears flowed from her bright blue eyes the base of the carousel began to fill with water. Molly kept crying, great big sobs and gradually the carousel began to slow. Molly looked around her and saw that the poles the horses were attached to were beginning to rust from her tears making them slow down. She continued to cry until eventually the carousel creaked to a stop.

Molly jumped off as fast as she could and ran away as the horses shrieked after her in fury.

Molly didn’t stop running until she reached a gate which looked extremely familiar. She walked closer to it and looking through the gaps she could see the campsite where her friends were. They all seemed to shimmer and the colours seemed to be different to the colours all around her. Nevertheless, she let out a cry of joy and walked forward to push the gate.

As she approached the gate, it gave a creak and materialised into a huge mouth. Molly was stunned when the mouth asked her, “Are you sure you want to return to that world?”

She was never more sure of anything in her life as she shouted back, “Yes, please! I don’t want to stay here any longer!”

“As you wish,” said the gate.

“You may go back to your friends. But be warned, you may never return to this world.”

“But what about Tim?” “He will find his own way home,” replied the gate which swung open just wide enough to let Molly through. It closed silently and disappeared.

“Oh, thank you!” she called at her friends. She ran past the wish tree they had seen on the way in which shook slightly as all of the wishes took flight and flew up into the sky like tiny butterflies. Her friends continued to shimmer in front of her but as she kept running towards them as fast as she could suddenly they were no gone.

Molly opened her eyes. She was inside her tent. She sat up and looked around. Tim was sleeping soundly beside her.

She ran her eyes over his body to make sure he was alright.

Everything seemed fine.

“Was that a dream?” she thought to herself. She stooped up and quietly unzipped the tent. Outside it was just becoming light and the sun cast an orange glow upon the campsite. Everything was the way she and Tim had left it before they went on their adventure.

Molly was beginning to doubt it had happened. She walked through the circle of tents and heard the sounds of her friends within them sleeping quietly. She sat down on a log and gazed around wondering if she had really imagined the whole thing.

She was glad to be back, she had never been so scared.

As she pondered whether she had imagined the whole thing she felt something on her hand. She looked down to see a tiny little blue butterfly had landed on her finger. She stared at it for a minute and realised it had writing on it’s back. She lifted her hand gently to her face so she could read what it said.

“I wish to have a big adventure” was written in white writing across both of the butterfly’s wings. Molly gasped as she re-read her own wish.

Then just as gently as it had landed, the butterfly took off and Molly watched as it flew away into the distance and out of sight.

Grammatical Epidemic

by Kathleen Kubek

E

The percentage of Irish students ignorant of simple English Grammar has be come alarming

ach person has certain little things which bother them whether it is a style of clothing, an accent different from his or her own, or another person’s idiosyncrasies.

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These are such things which do not affect the way we go about doing business, they are simply minute irritants. One bothersome occurrence that is not simply a minute irritant is the improper use of grammar and punctuation. This misuse affects business because it sends the wrong message to those around, especially to customers. A chalk board inside a café reads, “ciabatta’s €4.50,” and, “panini’s €5.50.” The ciabatta possesses or has what? I am sure it does not have €4.50, just as the panini below does not have €5.50. Those who notice these details think the business lacks educated employees, and it does not reflect well on the company. It may be the lack of education, or someone simply did not proof read before allowing the public see the writing. However, when there are consistent mistakes throughout an entire city, it makes one ponder the city’s English education program.

In Dublin, Ireland, improper use of punctuation and grammar is incredibly common in

store fronts, papers and even in college syllabuses. The week before St. Patrick’s Day the majority of the city’s stores, bars, and restaurants wrote messages on their windows

they do know it, so they don’t refresh the student’s memories of it’s proper uses. I spoke with some students from St. Patrick’s College of Education and asked what would happen

GRAMMAR SAVES LIVES Let’s eat Granny

Let’s eat, Granny wishing those passing by a happy St. Patrick’s Day. While walking down the streets, I noticed several pubs that had “Happy St. Paddys Day” and “Happy St. Patricks Day” on their front window, including The Duke, Madigan’s, and many others. We all know that there is not more than one St. Patrick, so why are all these windows saying there are more? The problem roots itself in the secondary schools of Dublin.

Irish students study English in primary school. They learn the proper use of grammar and punctuation, spelling, and how to speak and write it. But this teaching is not continued into secondary school.

In secondary school students are expected to know the language and teachers assume

if they turned in a paper with many grammar mistakes when they were in secondary school.

“We didn’t have too many problems with it, but if we did, the teacher would take 1 or 2% off our paper.” They said that the teachers did not correct many mistakes on the paper; they just wrote ‘the paper had many grammar issues’.

At college level, I spoke with a couple faculty members of the English language department at Griffith College. The college is populated vastly with international students, many who come to learn English. I asked if any Irish students came to the department for help on their English, such as improving their grammar, and the reply was no. The lack of seeking help on improving English skills also stems from

secondary school because the teachers focus more on the literary aspect of English rather than the technicalities of the language. They do not emphasise the improvement of the grammar skills. This is a major issue because students will enter colleges, universities, and the working world without proper knowledge of the use of grammar. A shocking example of this would be of a college professor’s syllabus at Griffith College. He teaches in the journalism faculty, a subject in which one should know how to write English without errors or with minimal errors. Part of the syllabus reads, “Students will carry out a critical and comparative reading of their these images and analysis the qualities within these images which qualifies them as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’.” There are two mistakes in this one sentence, “their these” and, “analysis.”

If the professor was to pick either their or these to use instead of both, that would be acceptable, and if he was to say analyze instead of analysis, that would be acceptable as well. Several students noticed these mistakes along with many others in the syllabus. One of his students said, “If he takes marks off of my paper because of miss-punctuations and bad grammar, I’m going to show him his own syllabus and tell him I have room for error.”

When emailing the Department of Education and Skills in Dublin, I was given information about the leaving certificate for secondary school students. The certificate requires students to read and analyse a story or poem, but never to know correct punctuation or grammar. In comparison to the United States of America, students must pass standardised tests which have a reading section containing similar aspects of the Irish leaving certificate, as well as an English portion which is to correct grammar and punctuation. There are less grammatical and punctuation errors seen in cities in the U.S.A than in Dublin.

Until secondary teachers or the Department of Education and Skills recognize the importance of the proper use of grammar and punctuation and implement it into the program, students will continue to brush off the misuse of them.

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