OBJECT, DELAY, PROFIT & ASSOCIATES
HOW CRITICS SAY CLEVELAND DIVORCE LAWYER JOE STAFFORD THROWS WRENCHES IN DOMESTIC RELATIONS COURT, DELAYING JUSTICE AND STRETCHING FAMILIES TO THE BREAKING POINT.
BY MARK OPREA
UPFRONT
HOUSING DEMAND REMAINS HIGH in University Circle, and Circle Square is ready to meet it. The neighborhood’s newest skyscraper, the 24-story East Stokes building, could break ground as soon as spring of next year, according to a presentation at a recent Cleveland Planning Commission meeting. Rents in the new building are expected to go for about $3.50 to $4 per square foot, or about $2,000 per month for a 500-square-foot, one bedroom apartment.
It’s all part of the larger Circle Square project, which opened with the 24-story Artisan building in 2023 and was later followed by the nine-story Library Lofts in 2024. The entire complex will ultimately include some 1,000 apartments. Circle Square aims to create a walkable urban center on upper Chester Avenue, an area roughly bounded by Chester to the north, Euclid to the south, Stokes to the east and E. 105th St. to the west.
“It’s amazing how much you guys have done so fast,” said Lillian Kuri, chair of the Cleveland Planning Commission, at a recent meeting where the final design was approved. “And how all the vision and hopes for it, you’re delivering on. It’s extraordinary what’s changed in such a short span of time.”
Elise Yablonsky, Chief Place Management Officer with University Circle Inc., said the new skyscraper helps achieve goals for the area, which now has about 6,500 residents. “For decades, we have been working to increase the vitality of University Circle through increasing residential density,” she said in an email. “Within the planning process, we’ve heard calls for increased housing options, additional retail, and more walkable environments, all of which this development is advancing.”
Yablonsky noted that the project is across the street from an affordable senior housing complex, and that the density of the project will also support new retail as well as transitoriented lifestyles.
The glass-walled Stokes East building will occupy about half a block on Chester between Stokes Blvd. and MLK Jr. Dr. It will feature 281 apartments, and there will also be 17,000 square feet of retail space on the ground floor as well as a 300-space parking garage. The units will range from about 600 square feet to about 2,400 square feet, slightly larger than the nearby Artisan building.
Pricing has not yet been released, but if similar to the Artisan, it will be about $3.50 to $4 per square foot. This is slightly higher than other newer University Circle buildings, which are priced more like $3 per square foot, including Innova and Skyline on Stokes.
CIRCLE SQUARE AT UNIVERSITY CIRCLE ADDS ANOTHER SKYSCRAPER TO ONE OF THE HOTTEST RENTAL MARKETS IN CLEVELAND
However, it’s comparable to One University Circle, the luxury apartment building across the street. The Artisan building is 90 percent occupied, according to a leasing agent who recently gave Scene an in-person tour.
Amenities that are slated for the Stokes East building include a rooftop space with a hot tub, cold plunge pool, swimming pool, patios, grills and firepits. The nearby Artisan building also features a golf simulator, dog wash, package delivery area, coworking space, workout room, entertainment room, and more, and it’s expected that the amenities at the Stokes East building will be similar.
It hasn’t yet been determined what type of retail will be built there. “The type of retail we’ve always advocated for at this location is a combination of food and amenity retail,” said developer Steve Rubin with Midwest Development Partners. “A bank branch, a dry cleaner, day to day errands that you want to do, along with at least one bistro type restaurant and some ethnic foods.”
With the new Meijer grocery store located nearby, plans to add a grocery store have been
scuttled, and the developers are looking for a new anchor tenant for the project.
Rubin told the planning commission that the intention with the Stokes East project is to make the units slightly larger than those at the Artisan and the nearby Library Lofts, so that the products don’t compete with each other. “This is a passion project for us,” Rubin said. “We’re looking forward to when all the connective tissue is in place and people cannot just walk but sit and have a cup of coffee with someone.”
The developers are shooting for a spring 2026 or 2027 start date, contingent on financing for the project.
According to an April 2025 report from Rent Cafe, Cleveland is the 40th hottest rental market in the U.S. right now., with an average 93.1% occupancy rate, up from 92.9% in 2024. The average rent in Cleveland is $1,543, a 2.37% increase from a year ago. While Tremont, Ohio City and downtown are all considered relatively expensive neighborhoods. University Circle is definitely the priciest, with an average rent of $2,189 per month compared with Tremont’s $2,010 per month.
According to Rent Cafe, Cleveland is the most expensive urban rental housing market in Ohio, with an average monthly rent of $1,543 compared with $1,340 in Columbus and $1,452 in Cincy.
Chuck Schulman, president of Carlyle Management, a third party property management company that manages some 14,000 units across Northeast Ohio, said University Circle’s success shows there’s demand for luxury housing in this area –and it’s not quite done yet.
“It’s keeping people in the area,” he said of the Circle Square project. “People working at the university or at the hospitals aren’t going outside the geographic area because there are nicer places to live in.” As far as the higher prices go, Schulman said people are willing to pay top dollar to live in University Circle. “It’s pulling people in from the inner ring or secondary suburbs, because there’s new products available in the city where they want to live. They have alternatives. You don’t have to leave the area to go shopping or get a cup of coffee.” – Lee Chilcote
Courtesy image
FEATURE
OBJECT, DELAY, PROFIT & ASSOCIATES
How critics say Cleveland divorce lawyer Joe Stafford throws wrenches in Domestic Relations court, delaying justice and stretching families to the breaking point. By Mark Oprea
KELLY AND JOYESH RAJ had nothing but optimism and hope going into their marriage in 2011. And they seemed like a perfect match. Both grew up in Midwestern families steeped in the practice of medicine. Both envisioned skipping town to a vacation condo in Naples, Florida. Both wanted to build a house in Bay Village. “And we knew we wanted to have children,” Kelly said. “That was our goal: to start a family and live happily ever after.”
They were married on July 8, 2011, in a small ceremony on the beach in Naples. Two years later, after settling nearby Joyesh’s plastic surgery offices close to Crocker Park, their daughter was born. Two years after that, their son followed. Then the good times came to an end.
Kelly calls the time a blur. “The bot-
tom line was we got married,” Joyesh told me, “and soon thereafter, you know, the marriage was not working.”
In December 2016, five days before Christmas, Joyesh filed for divorce in the Cuyahoga County Court of Common Pleas Domestic Relations. In the preceding months, the two threw themselves into what’s called posturing and planning. They each shopped around for the right attorney.
Despite some contentious moments, by the time Raj v. Raj popped on the docket of Judge Leslie Ann Celebrezze, the two sides seemed to agree the divorce could be resolved in a timely manner, if not a somewhat amicable one. But assets had to be divided, alimony had to be decided on, as did a parenting plan for their children. Who would get
the condo in Naples? How much money would Joyesh have to pay Kelly in spousal support, or vice versa? How would the kids, barely ready for kindergarten, be shuffled between Joyesh’s house and Kelly’s townhome?
Though the Raj’s divorce order came on February 23, 2018, more than two years after Joyesh originally filed, what happened after could easily be described as one of the most tedious tennis matches in the American legal system. Joyesh contested the amount of child support he owed. Trial dates to figure out a parenting plan were canceled and rescheduled over four years. All five judges in Cuyahoga County Domestic Relations recused themselves out of conflicts of interest. And the case dragged on, and on.
The Ohio Supreme Court has set
guidelines recommending Domestic Relations judges and the attorneys involved wrap up all divorce cases involving children in no more than a year and a half—about three years if parenting and support details need hammered out. Raj v. Raj, after millions racked up in lawyer fees and hundreds of motions filed, has, as of November, been going on for nine.
Ask any judge, in criminal or civil, and they’ll tell you that the engine fuel of the legal world is what’s called trial date certainty: If we can’t solve this thing ourselves, or rely on our prenuptial agreement, the court will—on this specific date in the future—solve it for us. “That’s supposed to be your light at the end of the tunnel,” former Ohio Supreme Court Justice Michael Donnelly told me over lunch in July. “But for those who have ever been
through a contested divorce, the reality is far from that. That it can be endless.”
Donnelly, who has over three decades of experience in the justice system, has, since he left the Ohio Supreme Court in 2024, been investigating reasons why some cases stretch on interminably. The culprits for many of these drawn-out examples, Donnelly has come to find, is not solely sour grapes, negligent judges or complicated financial matters, but the attorneys themselves.
“What if your business model is built on delay?” he said. “Like, resolution doesn’t help your firm because once you resolve, you cut my hourly pay.” Donnelly dabbed his finger on the half-inch-tall stack of docket papers that is Raj v. Raj, sitting next to two expanding file folders holding documents from other drawnout cases. “That’s the heart of all this,” he added. “A system that allows endless litigation.”
“What if your business model is built on delay?”
Talk to any magistrate in the region, any reporter who’s covered local courts, any divorce attorney in Northeast Ohio, and they’ll probably tell you that no lawyer has mastered the art of delay in Domestic Relations more than the one Kelly Raj hired in September of 2022.
And that man is Joseph Gregory Stafford.
Joe Stafford’s reputation depends on who you ask, and what side of the courtroom they’re on.
There is Joe Stafford, the “bulldog” of divorce lawyers, hired by hot-tempered exes hoping to resolve matters on the most favorable, and sometimes most painful, terms. There is Joe Stafford, the legal brainiac, the workaholic with a photographic memory who, as one client told me, “says everything you want to hear.”
There is also Joe Stafford the “troll,” the “asshole,” the “bully,” the “fear-monger,” and “the devil.” He is, as a former opposing client who said Stafford “destroyed” his life in 2018 told me, “the most crooked, manipulative, backhanded, coercive, smarmy weasel without a modicum of decency.” Stafford, the person said, “is a JACKBOOT THUG.”
What most would agree upon, no matter what side of the courtroom you sit in, is that he is feared. “We all have a saying,” one lawyer told me. “Stafford comes and the attorneys run.”
There were 7,618 filings for divorce in the Cuyahoga County Court of Common Pleas last year, according to a state data dashboard, of which about 92 percent were cleared and closed within the state’s suggested time guidelines. That leaves, amongst the five judges and their magistrates, some 50 “over-age” cases
Kelly Raj. | Mark Oprea
the last 40 years, since 1985 when Stafford passed the Ohio bar and received his license to practice law. Growing up a middle child with three brothers and one sister, Stafford moved from Dayton to Cleveland in 1982 to study at Cleveland State. He finished law school in two years. By the early 1990s, Joe had set up a firm, Stafford & Stafford, with his younger brother, Vince, that would quickly become the goto choice for the bitter ex-lovers of Northeast Ohio, and one no opposing counsel wanted a piece of.
In a 2006 feature, Scene delved into the brothers’ hard-earned reputation. Hardly anyone—lawyers, judges, magistrates, clients—would go on record in fear of angering the duo, though all hoped someone else would have the courage. “I don’t want to be in a public fight with these guys,” one lawyer told Scene at the time. “It’s bad enough being in a private fight with them.”
There were the dozens of disciplinary charges lobbed by the Cleveland Metropolitan Bar Association, and the dozens of times Joe Stafford was acquitted of said charges.
a month that lag behind for a handful of reasons: exes can’t agree on custody or fight over allegations of hidden bank accounts; judges are reassigned out of conflicts of interest; acrimonious couples fight bitterly over every detail.
A good deal of those cases involve Joe Stafford. As of July, his firm has 270 active cases in Domestic Relations going this year, according to records from the Cuyahoga County Clerk of Courts. And 127 active cases (before or after the divorce decree) of more than three years, dating all the way back to Flanagan v. Anders, filed in March of 1990. There are 17 that stretch five years, 51 that stretch six years, 56 that stretch seven, 17 that stretch eight. (Joe found the 270 count inaccurate yet refused to provide a better number. “That’s impossible! Not even close,” he told me.)
So, how does that happen?
More than a dozen lawyers, judges, social workers, guardian ad litems, past employees and former clients who spoke to Scene, largely on the condition of anonymity due to fears of retaliation or to protect their clients, said that Stafford has, more than any attorney in town, built a legal practice that places delay above every other tactic. What all accuse Stafford of doing over the years is filing motions of continuances—requests to the judge to reschedule a hearing—for just about any reason: discrepancies over one line in a prenup, a claim that a client is “sick,” that an opposing client
changed lawyers too many times. Or, in the most widely used practice, to simply reschedule a trial date on maybe the most cluttered calendar in Cuyahoga County. The average high-profile attorney in Cuyahoga County family law has, Scene found from public records, around 21 active cases in Domestic Relations. As of July, Joe Stafford alone had 124. (“It’s under 100,” Joe told me.)
And Stafford doesn’t stop when judges say no, lawyers who fought against Joe and who spoke to Scene on the condition of anonymity said. On five cases analyzed for this article, chosen primarily based on their length, Stafford appealed a judge’s denial of a request for a continuance anywhere from three to seven times per case. (Nearly all of those appeals were denied.)
And when court filings don’t cut it, several attorneys who’ve fought against Stafford told me, he resorts to more extreme measures. He’s alleged to have pulled fire alarms. He’s wheeled in shipping carts stacked high with banker’s boxes to taunt the opposition. All while billing his clients, several divorce lawyers told Scene, anywhere from $700 to $1,000 an hour.
“With smaller firms like us, we don’t have the resources. Our clients don’t have $90,000,” one lawyer who refuses to even “touch” a Stafford case told me. “Joe will go on quests to distract from the overall goal of going to trial and getting divorced.”
It’s a reputation that Joe has built over
And the hallmarks of what clients and critics say Stafford continues to do to this day. In one of those early disciplinary cases, Judge Christine McMonagle, who later sat on the Eighth District Court of Appeals until 2011, sharply criticized Joe Stafford’s approach. Though Stafford was a skilled litigator, she said, he costs couples unnecessary time and money and pushes families further apart. “Is he aggressive? Yes,” the judge said. “Does he fail to file motions that are appropriate to a case? Never. Does he fail to object? No.” But when it comes to moving cases efficiently through the system and managing conflict, “he is not a good lawyer,” she said.
But the Staffords’ tactics wouldn’t go unpunished forever.
In January of 2011, a five-count complaint was filed to the Ohio Supreme Court’s Disciplinary Counsel accusing Vince of misleading the court during evidence-gathering that “obfuscated and hindered the truth-seeking process.” Vince was barred from practicing for a year and a half.
That October, the Counsel received a similar set of complaints about his brother. Joe, the disciplinary panel found, violated the state Rules of Professional Conduct six times when he waited two years to respond to (and even acknowledge) an ex-husband’s counterclaim about his and his ex’s prenup, a move that prolonged the case of Tallisman v. Tallisman “into a years-long war, replete with extensive, bitter battles over every minute detail.” Stafford denied he should be singled out. Every other lawyer in town, he told the panel, did what he did.
To use the industry’s saying, Stafford’s ticket was pulled. He was barred from practicing law in any shape or form for one year, until March 8, 2013. “However, Stafford’s circumstances—namely his role as an attorney in a contested-divorce proceeding,” the Counsel wrote,
“are certain to recur.”
In the eyes of the Ohio Supreme Court, they did. In November 2023, a decade after Joe got his license back, he was accused of filing a frivolous appeal— an appeal that, they wrote, serves “only to delay” justice—after the Ohio Supreme Court rejected his 11th motion for continuance for a client. This, of course, was after a decade of litigation, of three judges and who knows how much billed out. By the time it appeared before the Ohio Supreme Court, the whole thing was moot. That appeal, Joe’s third on Richmond v. Evans, was thrown out for simply not being allowed in the first place. (“The granting or denial of a motion for a continuance is not a final, appealable order,” the judges reminded Stafford.) Joe, along with two of his firm’s employees, Nicole Cruz and Kelly Tauring, were sent back to the office with a reprimand. By Thanksgiving, the three of them would earn the legal world’s scarlet letter and were deemed vexatious litigators. Or, to use the common legal dictionary definition, lawyers not “operating in Good Faith.”
Donnelly was on the court at the time. He recalled the decision, unanimous amongst all seven justices, with an almost childlike gratification. “Our standard operating procedure was, like, ‘Deny, deny, deny the appeal. Just deny the appeal. This is not a fight,’” he told me. “But finally, after seeing enough of that, we decided to take action.”
Jason Jardine met Crystal in the halls of Albion Junior High. After high school, he followed Crystal to Baldwin Wallace, where she studied accounting. She followed Jason to Cincinnati, where Jason trained to become an embalmer. They would eventually take over Jason’s family’s business, Jardine Funeral Home, and raise a family. They married in 1996 and had three kids. They opened, and managed, four businesses that would come to be worth millions of dollars.
Which is why, when the relationship fell apart and the Jardines began planning to get divorced in 2017, each felt compelled to hire a powerhouse lawyer. Both agreed, as did their kids, that their home in Hunting Meadows had devolved into chaos. “It wasn’t a peaceful household,” Crystal told me. But both sensed that their business, the livelihood that linked them together, would exacerbate what should’ve been otherwise a clean settlement.
Hence why, shortly after consulting with him in 2019, Jason made sure to hire Stafford before his ex-wife could.
“He’s sharp. I mean, he’s super smart, right?” Jason told me from a visitation room in one of his funeral homes in Independence. He barely blinked as he spoke, as if he was imitating Stafford’s high-octane focus. “No one will believe I said this, but Joe has colleagues of his, well-known people that say he has a good moral compass for right and wrong. He’s a fierce, fierce competitor. So, I mean, you
can’t be all good and lovey-dovey when you’re in a fight like this.”
By the time Jason and Crystal went to trial in March 2023—three years after filing and following four motions for continuance—the Jardine Funeral Home and its finances rose to the foreground. Both claimed to me the other was hiding (and stealing) funeral funds undisclosed to accountants and to the court, which had by then assigned a receiver, Mark Dottore, to monitor the business while the two sort out their case.
But Jason, like anyone else in high-profile divorce, had by then become an armchair attorney himself. (As did Crystal.) Believing that Dottore was mismanaging funeral home payouts (and charging him for “dinner meetings” at the Capital Grille), and hearing rumors of an alleged relationship, Jason hired a private investigator to keep tabs on Dottore and the judge he was appointed to report to, Leslie Ann Celebrezze. The golden circle run by Celebrezze and Dottore, along with forensic analysts and opposing lawyers, Jason believed, were hemorrhaging money from the family business from a man who was doomed to be locked out of it until his case concluded. Crystal thought the whole thing a spectacle. “It was a sideshow,” Crystal opined. She laughed. “Its own delay tactic.”
County records show more than half a million in court-ordered payments to Dottore’s pocket from Jason since 2017. Absolutely needless, in Jason’s mind.
“This wasn’t fraud within a case,” Jason told me. “This was fraud by the court. The court shook me down for money to give to their friends.”
Jason’s hunch gave Stafford good ammo when they appeared in Celebrezze’s courtroom on May 21, 2024. Joe immediately played a highlight from hours of footage collected by the PI: a man, balding and in a soft-blue shirt, leisurely pecking a five-foot-two blonde woman on the sidewalk outside Delmonico’s Steakhouse in Independence.
“Okay, there we have it, Mr. Dottore,” Joe said, after the video ended, the hearing transcript reads. “So, just to be clear, that’s you, correct?”
“Yes,” Dottore said.
“Definitely you?” Joe said.
“No question about it.”
“So, the judge, Judge Celebrezze grabs your face, correct?”
“Yes.”
“And kisses you on the lips, right?”
“Yes.”
“And your claim is you always do that with Judge Celebrezze, you kiss her on the lips, right?”
“Yes.”
“And that’s because, according to you, you’re Italian and that’s what Italians do, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Well,” Joe said. “Tell me the last time you kissed Judge Boros on the lips? Did Judge Boros ever come to you house, Mr. Dottore?”
Order is called for in the room.
Stafford explained. “What I’m doing is setting up the dichotomy of what you’ve done in the case, and what went on in the past to demonstrate fraud by the court,” he said. “Because judges don’t do those things that Judge Celebrezze did.”
That proceeding, which resulted in the Ohio Supreme Court kicking Celebrezze off Jardine v. Jardine, is a first in the history of Cleveland Domestic Relations: Joe Stafford and his client accusing the court of an improper relationship and benefiting from years of mismanaging a divorcing couple’s assets—a delay of its own, if you will. Celebrezze herself is now, as of October, facing both a disciplinary hearing by the Ohio Supreme Court and an ongoing criminal investigation by the FBI.
But do judges really want to stretch out any of the thousands of cases on their docket? When I posed that question recently to Administrative Judge Diane Palos, she held more of an assembly line take on solving complex cases: every so often an oblong product clogs the conveyor. “There’s a small part of the population that would rather pay their lawyer and drag a case out than pay their spouse,” Palos said. “So those people make this court look bad for everybody else.”
Jason Jardine completely disagreed. “Why would I want to do any of this? Get me the fuck out,” he said. Halfway through our meeting, he gleefully showed me months of text messages he’d
fired off to Dottore in a fury, accusations of misbehavior that read more like taunts before a boxing match than ex parte banter. “These are hardcore crimes. Colluding and conspiring,” Jason said. “I’ve been irreparably harmed and it’s been intentional.”
In September, about two weeks after a yet another hearing (the seventh in the Court of Appeals), I met with Crystal at a west side Starbucks to gauge her side in a divorce that’s lasted almost a fifth of her life. As one might expect, the conversation shifted to her kids. How, she told me, her oldest isn’t speaking to her. (Or his siblings.) How another moved to Florida. How a separation that seemed like the right pathway to clearing family dynamics only drove everyone further into the muck.
“I just want it all to be done with,” Crystal said. “Like, it’s so difficult to live like this, to move forward. And I want the relationships with the kids, with my kids to be better.”
She started sobbing and put her head into her palms. “I don’t have control anymore,” she said. “I just want it all cleared up, so I can finally take a deep breath, and regroup. It kills me that my kids don’t talk to each other. I know there’s not going to be, like, the full family unit anymore, but at least I can try and work on getting it back.”
Crystal breathed, then wiped her eyes. Her mind, as it did for the umpteenth
Jason Jardine. | Mark Oprea
time during our meeting, fell on her ex’s lawyer. “I’m not throwing in the towel, though, and obviously they know that,” she said. “But somebody at an upper level in the courts has to stop Stafford and his team from what they’ve been doing.”
“Like I said from the beginning,” she added. “It’s not just me.”
Those who do find themselves walking into the Old County Courthouse off Lakeside Avenue often wonder why it is so deafeningly quiet. After clearing by a metal detector and K9 unit, you take a bronze elevator up to the fourth floor, a floor that zigzags like a gigantic figure 8. Behind the gilded signs of judge names— CELEBREZZE, PALOS—you might find a hearing in action. “Marriage Over?” a nearby brochure reads. “Divorce like there is a tomorrow.” But more than often, aside from attorneys clicking on laptops or the faint berating of mid-cross examinations, the only sounds of chatter come from the corner offices of the judges and magistrates themselves.
And it’s here, on July 10, 2012, where Lisa DiSiena made that same walk up to the fourth floor. DiSiena was a scheduler for Judge Rosemary Grdina Gold in Court Room 1A, so she often fielded calls from lawyers and their clerks who played the chaotic dance of setting hearings. But a little after eleven that morning, DiSiena got a different call. It was from an unknown number. The man, DiSiena recalled, sounded professional, almost too professional. “There will be a bomb that will go off at 11:30 today at the Cuyahoga County Courthouse,” he said. The line went dead.
Down the hall was another divorce attorney in trial when the judge announced the building had to be evacuated. By 11:12, bomb-sniffing dogs would swarm the hallways. “I swear to you, I actually said, when that bomb threat come through, I said, ‘Did Greg need another continuance?’” they recalled from their office recently. “I swear to God I said it. I mean, the pressure that guy was under—I couldn’t even imagine.”
By that day, Gregory Moore was well into a role he probably never thought he’d find himself in. Four months earlier, after his boss temporarily lost his license, Moore was catapulted from being a mid-career litigator to being the face of Stafford Law. Moore was 38, married and living in a nice house in Sagamore Hills. He had the combed-back hair of a sharp downtown attorney, but he didn’t have the Stafford build: Moore was five inches shorter, about 30 pounds lighter. But here he was, tasked with managing and steering one of the largest and wide-reaching Domestic Relations caseloads in the state. One lawyer who knew Moore at the time told me his cases ran “north of 200.”
And Moore, according to those who sparred with him, wasn’t shy when it came to tactics of delay. He filed last-minute continuances due to overlapping
trial dates—in Medina County, Lake County. “I was there one time when Greg faked a heart attack in the bathroom,” one lawyer told me. “The administrative judge at the time wouldn’t let him leave.” Soon after, Moore apparently stopped with that angle. The judge, I was told, made Moore prove his emergencies with medical records.
So, according to the Cuyahoga County Prosecutor’s Office, Moore switched to bomb threats. He made one January 18, 2012, the same day his underling was to go to trial. (Which was rescheduled for the day after.) He made one that May, to a scheduler at the Lake County Courthouse, at 8:30 in the morning on a Tuesday. And he made that call that sweltering day mid-July, the same day Moore was set to appear for three cases in front of three different judges. The same day, Detective Paul Soprek’s report noted, Moore’s motion for continuance was denied. One he’d requested, Soprek wrote, “due to having a case in Medina County at the same time.”
By the end of the year, Moore was exhausted. Judges across the region caught on to his frivolous motions and refused to allow continuances without proof. “Judges got all strong because Joe or Vince were no longer there,” one lawyer told me. “So, they start holding Greg’s feet to the fire—and he was a disaster.” Come January, Moore’s spoofed call ploys were over: he had learned that the prosecutor’s office was looking into the bomb threats. Those charges, of Inducing Panic and Telecommunications Fraud, would later lead to Moore to pleading guilty in court four years later.
Come March 2013, Aliza Sherman was equally irate, if not more. A Cleveland Clinic delivery nurse with four kids, Aliza
had hired Stafford Law to defend herself against her ex-husband, Sanford Sherman, a wealthy physician. Joe assigned Moore to the case. But years passed with it in purgatory. By March, Moore had filed four motions for continuance and two motions for extension of time.
“So, they start holding Greg’s feet to the fire— and he was a disaster.”
It’s possible that, on March 24, Aliza reached out to Moore to verify they were really showing up in court. It’s possible that Aliza loathed Moore by then and wanted to fire him. It’s possible she felt lodged in limbo. Whatever the case, Aliza reached out to Moore that day, according the Cuyahoga County Prosecutor’s Office, and was invited to meet at the Stafford Law offices on a snowy afternoon in the black behemoth of a building that is Erieview Plaza.
Aliza arrived a little after four o’clock. It was freezing, so she waited in her car on East 12th. The plan was to meet at five, so Aliza got out of her car, and waited in front.
“Will u be here soon? Kind of cold,” she texted Moore at 5:14 p.m.
“Been here,” Moore said.
“Doors locked. I thought u would text me when u got here,” Aliza said. “Been in car 45 min. Too cold. Text me when door is open thx.”
Minutes later, around 5:21, as she
was waiting in front of Erieview, a person in a black parka and grey pants charges her. Their face is covered. A struggle ensues. A knife is brandished, and Aliza is stabbed 11 times and dies alone in the middle of East 12th. Surveillance video from a nearby mechanic captures the killer running through the building’s alcove, a figure that teeters as they sprint towards East 17th.
This May, after years of investigation, the Cuyahoga County Prosecutor’s Office charged Moore with a dozen counts of crime, including kidnapping, conspiracy and five counts of murder. Moore, they claim, had used the law firm’s Verizon hotspot to text Aliza without the nearby cell tower revealing his location. He or an “unnamed individual” killed Aliza, they posit, to “hinder, impede, or obstruct a function of government.”
“The purpose of Aliza Sherman’s kidnapping was to obstruct Judge Rosemary Grdina Gold from conducting the trial in the divorce case of Sanford Sherman v. Aliza Sherman,” the indictment reads. “This goal was designed to be achieved by causing Aliza Sherman to be unavailable to attend proceedings due to serious physical harm and/or death.” Aliza, it turns out, was scheduled to be with Moore in Gold’s courtroom the day after she was murdered.
And Stafford? Joe had just filed a motion to be reinstated to the Ohio bar. That Friday, five days after Aliza was killed, he got his license back.
“Honestly, I thought you’d be a lot taller,” Joe Stafford told me, walking into his office off Lakeside Avenue at the beginning of October. “But, oh well. Here
Erieview Plaza. | Mark Oprea
we are. What can I help you with?”
It comes as no surprise that sitting down with Stafford is no cakewalk. He doesn’t do interviews. He’s in trial this week, trial the next. He’ll email you hundreds of pages of court documents with the assumed expectation that you will master their contents. And he will certainly do his darndest to gather dirt: scour your voting records, monitor your social media. He’ll know your party, your address, your age. He’ll even perform impromptu therapy. “You have a fear of commitment,” he told me, knowing I’ve never married. “You have intimacy issues.”
Joe Stafford is 65, and he is a towering man. He wears medium-length white hair and resembles a late-career Ted Danson if Danson sported a plumper forehead and curved chin. (“I’ve been called a little troll of a guy,” Joe said.) The evening we met, Joe wore a pressed white shirt buttoned up to the neck, with “JGS” stitched beside a red-and-blue tie. As Joe speaks, and that he does, the room listens, as if his voice is a vortex unto which all nearby gravity tilts its attention.
And it’s hard to find an area of conversation that doesn’t devolve into some kind of argument. Whether that be how many cases he has (“I don’t keep track. It doesn’t matter”), how much he makes (“Just because you bill doesn’t mean you get paid”), why he doesn’t take pictures (“It keeps me alive”), why lawyers speak ill of him (“Why are they hiding in the shadows? Speak it to my face!”), or why cases he’s involved in take five, six, seven, eight years to wrap up. Those are outliers, he says, at a firm that settles “95 percent” of their cases. And those outlier cases, in his mind, are riddled with bad actors and corruption beyond his control.
It’s the Cleveland developer who has hidden millions in assets from the court, Joe says. It’s the computer programmer who would rather pay his attorney seven figures than pay spousal support to his ex-wife. And it’s that shady receiver Mark Dottore, in Joe’s mind, that had just about snatched away a multi-million-dollar funeral home business for his client Jason Jardine.
“I was like, ‘Get Dottore off the case! Get that motherfucker!’” Joe recalled, sitting at a conference table overlooking East 9th at golden hour. He’d refused to let me record our interview, so it was one of the cases Joe allowed me to scribble notes on. “I file an appeal because the judge lied to us. What they’re mad about is, maybe I call them out for something” they’re doing wrong, Joe said. His voice rose to a fervor. “Connect the dots! You have to connect the dots!”
But why so long? It was painstakingly hard to get a clear, concise answer from Joe that didn’t seem like a retaliatory defense. Everyone divorcing their spouse has a narrative—and no one more refined than the rich and entitled, he argued. Guardian ad litems and forensic psychologists clog the system, he said. One past client, Joe vividly remembered as he held back tears, was “near suicide” when she called her attorney up in the
middle of the night. That hearing had to be delayed. A motion had to be filed. Which is probably the best way to sum up Joe’s sense of self. He believes, as ardently as one can belief, that he spends 70 to 80 hours a week—fighting how many active cases for however many people for however many years—advocating for clients so long because it is the morally right thing to do.
“I’ll never capitulate just to get a case over with. I mean, name one case, one case, where I’m representing” the oppressor, Joe said. He sat back in his chair. “The cases that I’m on, I’m on the side of the angels.”
What may be the most ironic thing to Kelly Raj is that this summer, out of the past seven, was the best summers for her children in years. There were birthday parties, new iPhones, Sunday French toast breakfasts, bike rides around the Metroparks, spontaneous trips to the condo in Naples. All amidst a background of two parents navigating a divorce without a clear, definite end. “It goes back to the same feeling you always have,” Kelly told me. “That you’re screaming into this chamber when no one is listening.”
But this, as both Joyesh and Kelly have divulged to me, is just the system set in place. The system is paying a parenting coordinator who takes weeks to respond to an email. The system is being watchful of one’s tone on Our Family Wizard, the app for divorced co-parents. The system is failing to accept a parenting agreement after two guardian ad litems, two custody trials and claims of hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid child support. And, of course, the system, is putting one’s faith in a fair resolution.
“Obviously it’s hard on the kids, because they’re in limbo,” Anna Tyrrell, the only parenting coordinator on the Cuyahoga County roster sheet that would speak to me, said in a phone call. “It’s hard to be your best self when you’re under that stress; they’re living with stressed parents. They feel it. But they don’t always have the words for it.”
“Nobody will take it to trial because Stafford’s on the other side. So, meanwhile, my kids suffer.”
But the system is self-aware. As Chris Schmitt, the head of the Cleveland Metropolitan Bar Association, reminded me in a recent interview, anyone pissed about their long case or trial delays can file grievances with his organization or the Ohio Office of Disciplinary Counsel. As long as that delay, Schmitt said, is clearly to benefit the lawyer, not the client. “Filing a grievance over what we would consider a normal delay,” he told me, “is not something that we’re going to pursue.”
And in her most recent State of the Judiciary address, on September 11, Ohio Supreme Court Chief Justice Sharon Kennedy nodded to the fact that, although judge backlogs around Ohio were at a five-year low, there still was work to be done in Domestic Relations.
“One of the solemn responsibilities we bear in the administration of justice is to ensure that justice is timely delivered,” Kennedy told the room of judges. “When
cases languish, justice delayed becomes justice denied.”
It was hard to gauge if all this meant much to Kelly Raj when we met recently, at Huntington Beach Park in Westlake. It was August, and Kelly seemed to be relieved, if not elated, that she finally had someone to talk to in person. Her kids had a dozen things that needed taken care of. Joe wasn’t replying to emails on time, Kelly told me. A trial date for December for finances loomed, even if Kelly wasn’t sure it was going to happen. (“Hell if I know,” Joyesh said.)
Same goes for Joyesh. “We’ve had guardian ad litems all come to the same conclusion that this is a volatile situation,” he told me. “But again, nobody will take it to trial because Stafford’s on the other side. So, meanwhile, my kids suffer.”
At the park that day, Kelly and I walked around as the conversation cycled from optimistic to despairing. Kelly’s eyelids grow heavy when she’s wary, but it seemed like she was too far in to let tears fall. We sat on a bench near a playground and talked as young mothers parented their toddlers or preteens as they tromped around the jungle gym.
Kelly brought up a story. It was January 2023. Her daughter was turning 10, so a party was planned. But by the weekend after, Kelly got dispiriting news: her daughter already had a birthday celebration.
“And my friends are like, “Well, accept it. You’re divorced. Accept it,’” Kelly told me. She took a breath. “It is as if I do not exist. I’m invisible. And the process and the system is enabling that to continue.”
Cuyahoga County Common Pleas Court. | Mark Oprea
GET OUT
WED 11/19
Cavaliers vs. Houston Rockets
The Cavaliers take on a Houston Rockets team that added future Hall of Famer Kevin Durant in the off-season and has played well since losing the first two games of the season. Tipoff is at 7 p.m. 1 Center Court, 216-420-2200, rocketarena.com.
THU 11/20
Josh Blue
Winner of the 2006 edition of Last Comic Standing, comedian Josh Blue received rave reviews for his 2011 Comedy Central special. Recently, Blue, who has cerebral palsy and often references that in his routines, debuted the one-hour Showtime special, Sticky Change. Blue, who likes to joke that he’s a “white AfricanAmerican” because he was born in Africa, performs tonight at 7 at Hilarities, where he has shows scheduled through Saturday. 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.
Dvořák’s New World Symphony
Finnish conductor Dalia Stasevska leads the Cleveland Orchestra as it plays selections from both Revueltas and Dvorak at this special concert. The performance begins at 7:30 p.m. at Mandel Concert Hall, where performances continue through Sunday. 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.
Monsters vs. Hershey Bears
The Monsters kick off a two-game contest against the Hershey Bears with tonight’s game at Rocket Arena. The puck drops at 7. The two teams will play again at 7 p.m. on Saturday at the arena.
1 Center Court, 216-420-2200, rocketarena.com.
FRI 11/21
The Abnormal Heart
Parker Mills stars in this one-man show about “a #brave, unsuccessful, middle-aged homosexual and his lifelong search for something.” Performances take place at 8 tonight and tomorrow night at Kennedy’s Cabaret.
1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Cavaliers vs. Indiana Pacers
Tonight at 7 at Rocket Arena, the Cavaliers play the Indiana Pacers, the team that beat them in last season’s playoffs. The Pacers will be without their star player, Tyrese
EVERYTHING TO DO IN CLEVELAND FOR THE NEXT TWO
Haliburton, but will still be a formidable opponent. The game begins at 7 p.m. 1 Center Court, 216-420-2200, rocketarena.com.
Third Friday
From 5 to 9 p.m., many of the 78th Street Studios resident artist studios and galleries will be open as part of this monthly event. There will be live music, and Local West, a Gordon Square sandwich shop, will serve food. BARneo will have a selection of adult beverages as well. Admission is free. 1300 West 78th St., 78thstreetstudios.com.
SAT 11/22
Frost
This annual winter celebration at the Cleveland Botanical Garden features lights, seasonal displays and family activities. There will be a gingerbread competition and local garden clubs will decorate Christmas trees that’ll be on display. Check the website for hours and more information.
11030 East Blvd., 216-721-1600, cbgarden.org.
SUN 11/23
My Love Letter to Food Comedian Samantha Woodman wrote, directed and produced this show about her
WEEKS
relationship with food. Tonight’s performance takes place at 6 p.m. at Imposters Theater. 4828 Lorain Ave., imposterstheater.com.
TUE 11/25
EC50: A Celebration of Eric Carmen’s Musical Legacy
This concert that pays tribute to the late singer-songwriter Eric Carmen will feature former members of his band as well as the Lakewood Project and the Lakewood High School Orchestra. It also serves as a fundraiser for the Lakewood High School music program. 14100 Franklin Ave., Lakewood, 216-529-4081, www.lkwdpl.org/ schools/civicaud.
WED
Shitshow Karaoke
11/26
Local rapper/promoter Dirty Jones and Scene’s own Manny Wallace host Shit Show Karaoke, a weekly event at the B-Side Liquor Lounge wherein patrons choose from “an unlimited selection of jams from hip-hop to hard rock,” and are encouraged to “be as bad as you want.” Fueled by drink and shot specials, it all goes down tonight at 10 p.m. Admission is free. 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-932-1966, bsideliquorlounge.com.
THUR 11/27
44th annual Cleveland Turkey Trot powered by CSU Rec Center and Viking Public House
There will be entertainment and costume contests at this annual Thanksgiving Day run that leaves from Public Auditorium. It’s a dog friendly event that’ll even feature a Turkey Trot Dog Park. It begins at 8:45 a.m. 500 Lakeside Ave., runsignup.com/Race/OH/Cleveland/ ClevelandTurkeyTrot.
FRI 11/28
A Christmas Carol
This Great Lakes Shakespeare Festival production never fails to engage and delight. Framed as a story within a story in this Gerald Freedman adaptation, the production really comes alive once the ghost of Jacob Marley appears, dragging his chains and creaking eerily with every movement. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at the Mimi Ohio Theatre, where performances continue through Dec. 21. 1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Mary Santora
Drawing from real life experiences, local comic Mary Santora takes the audience on a “storytelling driven ride, while seamlessly weaving in and out of crowd interactions,
leaving a lasting impression on anyone who sees her,” as it’s put in a press release. Her latest album, Hillbilly Boujee, topped the charts on iTunes and Amazon. She performs tonight at 6:30 and 9:15 tonight and tomorrow night at Hilarities.
2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.
Yuja Wang Plays Ravel
Pianist Yuja Wang joins the Cleveland Orchestra as it plays Ravel’s famous Concerto for the Left Hand along with Ligeti’s Concerto for Piano and Orchestra. The performance begins at 7:30 p.m. at Mandel Concert Hall, where performances continue through Sunday. 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.
SAT 11/29
Ballet Theatre of Ohio’s Nutcracker Ballet Theatre of Ohio presents The Nutcracker for the 33rd consecutive year. This show featuring Tchaikovsky’s famous score comes to the Akron Civic Theatre today at 2 and 7 p.m. and tomorrow at 2 p.m. 182 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-2488, akroncivic.com.
Twilight in Concert
This immersive event features the original film Twilight with a live score played by a 12-piece ensemble. The show begins at 8 p.m. at the State Theatre. 1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
SUN 11/30
Browns vs. San Francisco 49ers
A playoff caliber team when healthy, the San Francisco 49ers come to Huntington Bank to take on the Browns. The game begins at 1 p.m. 100 Alfred Lerner Way, 440-891-5000, huntingtonbankfield.com.
Cavaliers vs. Boston Celtics
The Cavaliers take on another Eastern Conference powerhouse tonight when they face the Boston Celtics at 6 p.m. at Rocket Arena. The Celtics, who are without star Jaysun Tatum for the season, beat the Cavs in Boston earlier in the season. 1 Center Court, 216-420-2200, rocketarena.com.
A Christmas Story
Cleveland Play House’s production of this story about a Cleveland kid who just wants a BB gun for Christmas returns to the Allen Theatre, where it continues through Dec. 21. Performances take place at 2 and 7:30 p.m. 1407 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Genghis Con
The annual event that celebrates independent presses and comics returns to the Cleveland Museum of Art’s Community Arts Center/ Centro de Artes Comunitarias. The event begins at 11 a.m. 2937 West 25th St., 216-707-2483, clevelandart.org.
Jingle Bell Jamboree with the Pops
Expect to hear festive songs at this holiday concert featuring the Cleveland Pops Orchestra. Performances take place at 2 and 6 p.m. at the State Theatre. 1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
MON 12/01
Monty Python’s Spamalot
The farcical comedy that garnered 14 Tony nominations when it was on Broadway returns to Playhouse Square. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 p.m. at Connor Palace. Performances continue through Sunday. 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
The Winchester Presents Locals Only
This event that takes place the first Monday of the month at the Winchester in Lakewood will showcase local bands. The $5 cover will go directly to the band. Doors open at 7 p.m. 12112 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-600-5338, facebook.com/ TheWinchesterMusicTavern
Get the best Cleveland has to offer with Scene newsletters. From where to eat to where to hang out on a chill Friday night to what's been happening this week in the city, our newsletters are pretty damn awesome. Plus, you'll receive some pretty great special offers, discounts, and ticket alerts only available to our subscribers.
A Christmas Carol returns to Playhouse Square. See: Friday, Nov. 28 | Courtesy of Great Lakes Theater
EAT
ROUND AND ROUND
Sushi is fun, and affordable, again at Funshi, where the plates never stop spinning
By Douglas Trattner
I VOWED NOT TO MAKE THE SAME mistakes again. The last – and first – time I visited a conveyor-belt sushi restaurant, my companion and I were so giddy with anticipation that we immediately started grabbing plates off the passing belt. In fact, I described the experience as one of “instant gratification,” where diners literally can begin snacking on sushi within seconds of parking the car.
While all of that is true, there is a more tactical way to proceed. After tossing back a few rounds of fresh but filling rolls, during that initial outing, we began observing more variety snaking its way from the kitchen. And as the dining room around us began filling up, so too did the passing belt. The key to a successful conveyor-belt sushi experience, it turns out, isn’t all that different from a traditional one: plan your meal out in advance.
For consistency’s sake, I invited the same dining companion to Funshi, the newest kaiten-zushi restaurant in
Northeast Ohio. As the name suggests, this locally owned restaurant puts the “fun” in sushi. The quickly expanding brand made a splash in early 2025 when they opened Funshi Sushi, Ramen and Boba in Rocky River. The joint was an instant smash thanks to a formula that combines stellar fare, warm hospitality, and a colorful, space-age vibe.
This latest location rachets up the fun factor in several ways. Chief among them is the addition of the conveyor belt, which travels from the kitchen, through the welldesigned restaurant, and back home again. The dining room is arranged in an E-shape, with the spine being the kitchen and the little arms extending into the seating area. As more diners settle in, additional routes of the belt are activated.
Foods arrive on white or black plates, a system that lets diners distinguish between raw and cooked items. The dishes leave the kitchen covered and remain that way until removed from the belt by a diner. Everything is $3.50, a structure achieved by modulating portion size. Some plates hold two items, others four, and so on. Foods arrive in groups, preceded by a sign stating not only the name of the dish but also the components within, which is especially helpful for complex rolls.
and well-prepared, from the sushi rice to the deftly twisted rolls.
Some of the items we enjoyed straight from the belt include cooked shrimp nigiri, futo maki rolls, spicy tuna rolls, shrimp tempura rolls, faux crab sticks, unagi, vegetable spring
We quickly noticed a dearth of raw-fish nig iri on the conveyor belt, an approach that I assume is intentional. All tables have a tablet that lets diners place orders with ease. Many of those items – such as tuna, red sna pper, salmon, yellowtail, red clam – cost the same $3.50 per plate. It’s a system that prevents raw fish from languishing on the belt like a forgotten suitcase on the baggage carousel. The second-best part of that system is the delivery method: a tram on a separate track that stops right at one’s table.
That tablet is also one’s gateway to rest of the menu, an extensive selection of starters, elaborate rolls, ramen, rice bowls and boba drinks. We supplemented our conveyor-belt treasure hunting with a bowl of ramen ($10.99). Orders are customized on the tablet, giving diners the choice between ramen noodles, rice noodles or udon noodles. In addition to the included marinated, soft-cooked egg, sliced fish cake and veggies, proteins such as chashu pork, chicken and shrimp tempura can be added.
Within minutes of placing our order, a robot server silently approached our table bearing a steaming bowl of ramen. The tonkatsu broth was rich, savory and creamy, the noodles still bouncy, and the portion robust enough to chase away the fiercest winter blues.
As you can imagine, kids get a kick out of the cutting-edge tech – a family-friendly approach that extends to the no-booze policy. A full-wall projection immerses diners in a shimmering underwater seascape. Up front, a “10-seconds” game gives guests an opportunity to snag a free gift card.
When you’ve had all the food you can comfortably consume, tap the call button to summon a server, who tallies your tower of empty plates – in our case 13 – and prepares the check. From start to finish, the entire dining experience was efficient, delicious and reasonably priced. Funshi is the antithesis to extravagant omakases and sushi counters, an approach that is resonating with audiences and leading to growth. Next up for the team is a new location in Beachwood that is set to open in December.
Courtesy Photo
Funshi Revolving Sushi, Ramen
Boba
Photo by Doug Trattner
We bet your organization is doing great things to make Cleveland better — more fun, more successful and more healthful for all of us. You might want a print story that will share your message, a website that will attract more customers or a video that will capture the audience’s attention. Find out how partnering with us can help make that happen.
EAT
BITES
Gigi’s on Fairmount expands again, this time adding The James
By Douglas Trattner
SINCE OPENING THEIR CHARMING wine bar, Gigi’s on Fairmount (3477 Fairmount Blvd., 216-291-7237), owners Gia and James Patsch have cultivated such a passionate following that the restaurant literally has spilled over into adjacent spaces. Diners flock to the glamorous but casual eatery for its extensive wine list, signature bruschetta boards, and nightly dinner specials such as prime rib Saturday.
In 2014, a year after the Cleveland Heights bistro opened, the owners expanded into an neighboring space and opened Gigi’s After Dark, a chic cocktail lounge. With seating for 50 guests, the room offers a posh place to go for drinks before or after dinner as well as overflow seating for the main dining room.
Five years later, the owners busted through another wall and grabbed the corner property. This space, which is dubbed Gigi’s Blu, bumped up the occupancy even more while introducing a much-needed space for private events.
And now, 12 years in, Gia and James Patsch are expanding once again. This time around, the owners are shifting one space west, bringing the total number of rooms up to four. This latest addition, called The James, will serve as a new dessert and bourbon bar.
“It will have a Great Gatsby speakeasy feel,” James explains. “A quaint, kind of cozy little place to go for dessert after going downtown for a show.”
Desserts like chocolate pots de crème, lavender crème brulee and lemon tarts will be served alongside signature cocktails devised by bar manager Mackenzie Flanagan. A lengthy selection of fine bourbons will also be on hand. The new real estate also provides some much-needed space for the kitchen crew.
This latest expansion, which should be completed in December, brings the total number of indoor seats up to 120 – a far cry from the diminutive 45-seat wine bar that opened in 2013. In summer, that number will swell to 160 thanks to the well-appointed 63-seat sidewalk patio.
Gigi’s shares a block with On the Rise, a bakery that habitually has a line leading up to its front door. The day-night combo of OTR and Gigi’s keeps this otherwise tranquil residential neighborhood buzzing with activity.
“I remember when we first opened, the big worry was parking,” James reflects. “And here we are 12 years later, and parking hasn’t been an issue.”
Coming Soon: Juneberry To Go, a Grab-and-Go Market by Karen Small
When opportunity knocked on Karen Small’s kitchen door, she answered the call.
Since opening Juneberry Table (3900 Lorain Ave., 216-331-0338), the chef’s threeyear-old breakfast-and-lunch diner in Ohio City, demand has always outpaced supply. Waits for a table in the charming bistro are common, especially on weekends, and the kitchen desperately needed more prep space.
“We had the opportunity to take the nextdoor space over,” says Small. “We’ve always been in need of more space.”
While Juneberry fans understandably might desire that newfound space be used for more seating, that arrangement isn’t feasible, Small explains.
“We have a limitation to how many more tables we can handle because of our kitchen size,” she says.
After giving the matter some thought, Small settled on a multi-purpose space that she is calling Juneberry To Go. The shop gives people waiting for a table next door a place to browse the shelves, stocked with products like retail wine, regional foodstuffs, and housemade items like apple butter.
There will be a selection of grab-and-go salads, cold sandwiches and pastries, including those dreamy cheddar and chive biscuits. A long communal table will offer some seating for shoppers.
The shop also presents an opportunity for small events like wine tastings, private gatherings and other meetups.
When it opens in the coming week and a half or so, Juneberry To Go will be open 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Thursday through Sunday.
Masu by Dante Boccuzzi Opens Nov. 19 at Valor Acres
Chef Dante Boccuzzi is a week away from opening his newest restaurant. His latest endeavor takes him to Brecksville, where he will open Masu at Valor Acres, a Japanese restaurant with a focus on sustainable sushi. Chef-partner Jacob McDaniel, an employee who dates back to the opening days of Dante in Tremont, will lead the restaurant.
“He brings a deep understanding of Japanese cuisine and an incredible level of craftsmanship to Masu,” Boccuzzi states.
While Ginko and Goma, Boccuzzi’s other Japanese concepts, both specialize in sushi, Masu will have decidedly different approach.
“This will be completely different,” Boccuzzi says. “The quality will be the same. But Goma and Ginko are exclusively getting fish from the Japanese market.”
In contrast, Masu will supplement the fish imported from Japan with a wealth of American product, most of which is sustainably caught or raised. The restaurant is certified by the Marine Stewardship Council, whose mission is to end overfishing and safeguard seafood supplies for future generations.
“I think there’s plenty of great seafood here in America that we can source,” adds McDaniel.
The chef ticks off items such as East Coast scallops, farm-raised barramundi, American surf clam, aqua-cultured salmon, Santa Barbera sea urchin, and unagi eel raised in Maine instead of being imported from China.
A dry-aging cabinet is prominently displayed behind the sushi bar, serving both as a vital piece of kitchen equipment and also a conversation starter for the chefs.
McDaniel will hang and age tuna and other fishes, a process that improves taste, texture and moisture levels.
“Eating fish straight out the water is cool and all but I don’t want to serve it that way,” the chef notes. “I want to be a transparent as possible.”
In addition to a core menu of sustainable fish, the chef will bring in seasonal fish and seafood from Japan.
The menu offers a wide selection of nigiri, specialty nigiri, gunkan sushi, traditional maki, house maki and pressed sushi. Appetizers and small plates include agedashi tofu, Japanese-style pickles, tempura mushrooms and konbu-cured sea bream. McDaniel will also offer a selection of tasting menu and omakase experiences.
In the front of the space is a quick-serve counter starring poke bowls and grab-and-go foods. Bowls are built atop a choice of sushi rice, white rice, barley or greens. The bases will be topped with the same quality fish (tuna, salmon, hamachi, shrimp salad) as the full-service restaurant. Those options are joined by other proteins like tofu, teriyaki beef and chicken yakitori. From there, customers customize with myriad vegetables, sauces and toppings.
A nearby cooler will be stocked with sushi rolls and combos for quick enjoyment.
The plan is to open Masu for dinner only starting November 19, with lunch service and the poke counter to follow in early December.
dtrattner@clevescene.com @dougtrattner
Photo by Doug Trattner
ORCHESTRAL MANUEVERS MUSIC
A tribute to the late Eric Carmen takes place at the Lakewood Civic Auditorium
By Jeff Niesel
THE UPCOMING EC-50: A CELEBRATION of Eric Carmen’s Musical Legacy concert that takes place on Tuesday, Nov. 25, at Lakewood High School will celebrate the 50th anniversary of Carmen’s first solo album. It’ll feature the members of the Eric Carmen band as well as the Lakewood Project and the Lakewood High School Orchestra. Guest vocalists will perform as well, and the concert will feature some 22 Carmen songs.
“Our idea was to do the show we all believe [Carmen] would have done in 2025 with all the instrumentation we have to recreate the sound on those records,” says producer Stephen Knill, who played with Carmen in the early 1970s, over lunch at Root Café in Lakewood. “He did play with one once in Japan, and he got to play with an orchestra for the Arista 15th anniversary. It was for a TV show, and he did a minute of [his hit single] ‘All by Myself.’ When he passed away, I was thinking about him, and I just thought, ‘It’s the 50th anniversary of his album, and we need to do something for it.’ All of us stopped playing with Eric at some point, but that’s just how music works.”
Knill says he knew from the start that he wanted to do the show in Carmen’s hometown of Cleveland, and he took inspiration from Frank Amato’s Christmas Jam that takes place annually at the Music Box and features veteran Cleveland musicians.
A Lakewood High graduate, Knill realized it made sense to collaborate with the Lakewood Civic Auditorium with both the Lakewood Project electronic orchestra and the Lakewood High (acoustic) Orchestra together. At points during the show, there will be 45 musicians on the stage. Knill says that proceeds from ticket sales will go to the school’s orchestra program.
Born in Cleveland, Carmen famously played in the Raspberries, one of Northeast Ohio’s best-known musical exports. The group made its first record in 1970 and had a huge hit with “Go All the Way,” a power-pop number from its 1972 self-titled debut.
“The Raspberries were always struggling because Eric has this idea that he wanted to go back and be like the Beatles and put us in suits during the progressive rock era,” says
Knill. “They couldn’t get arrested except as a teeny bop band, and they weren’t teenagers. [The record label] Capitol held contests like ‘win the Raspberries rolls.’ They were Free fans, and they liked hard rock. There were two sides to the band. There were ballads and hard power-pop.”
For its fourth album, 1974’s Starting Over, the group banked its success on the single “Overnight Sensation (Hit Record).” It didn’t turn into the smash hit that the band had hoped for.
“It just wasn’t happening,” says Knill. “Eric’s producer decided it was time for Eric to go off and do something different. Eric had already had some ideas. He wanted something that was going to be an amalgamation of what he did but he was in love with Beach Boys harmonies. The Raspberries had some songs like that, but it wasn’t their forte. He wanted people who were master students and he wanted more instrumentation. He wanted keyboards, for example.”
The Eric Carmen Band then came together, and Carmen released his self-titled debut in 1975.
“We were nervous about recording, but we went to the studio early and played Who songs prior to that recording, and that helped our nerves,” says Knill.
The group made that album, and it yielded the song “All By Myself,” a seven-minute ballad with a Rachmaninoff piece in the middle. “All By Myself” became a major hit.
“We did some warm-up dates at places like the Agora, but we had an agent who was also the agent for the Beach Boys,” says Knill. “He put us on Beach Boys dates. He put us on a run of 15 to 20 Beach Boys dates. And then, he put us on the road with the Sweet, which was an awful match. We were on the road with them in January. It was in ice hockey rinks.
We got to places that had boards on the ice, and the grand piano was going out of tune. The Sweet audience was more of a hard rock audience, and we didn’t mesh well. The Beach Boys tour was a dream; the Sweet tour was a nightmare.”
Despite the circumstances, the group gelled, and Carmen got along well with everyone in the band.
“He wasn’t a prima donna with us,” says Knill. “He welcomed our suggestions musically, but at the end of the day, he decided what we would do.”
Knill and Co. finished the first tour in 1976. Rehearsals were about to start for the second record, but Carmen wanted a bigger sound more like Elton John. The makeup of the group shifted, and Knill and Carmen mutually agreed that Knill would leave the band
Carmen would have a long and illustrious career as a singer-songwriter up until his death last year. Knill took on work at various record labels, including MCA.
Looking back at Carmen’s legacy, Knill says the music holds up because Carmen wrote “great songs.”
“The melodies are incredible,” says Knill. “Eric was a tremendous melody and chord writer, and his lyrics were really good too. I like to say Eric wrote about two things: love and sex and his need to be a highly successful pop star. The problem is that with the exception of ‘Go All the Way’ being in Guardians of the Galaxy, people don’t remember the music. But we’re introducing the orchestra kids to this music, and they are going, ‘This is amazing stuff.’”
jniesel@clevescene.com @jniesel
Lakewood High School students will join Cleveland musicians for a special tribute to Eric Carmen. | Courtesy of Stephen Knill
LIVEWIRE REAL MUSIC IN THE REAL WORLD
THU 11/20
Blue Oyster Cult
The classic rock group performs at 6:30 tonight at the Agora. The band is still a staple on classic rock radio thanks to hits such as “”(Don’t Fear) The Reaper,” “Godzilla” and “Burnin’ for You.” It is also the inspiration for the Saturday Night Live sketch “More Cowbell.” Local rockers the Rick Ray Band open. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
Iam Tongi
The Hawaiian-born singer-songwriter who won Season 21 of American Idol performs at 7:30 p.m. at the Kent Stage. His single “Road to Hana” typifies his good vibes approach and comes off as a jangly country pop number about a Maui tourist destination. 175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-677-5005, kentstage.org.
FRI 11/21
Night Ranger
Singer-drummer Kelly Keagy and guitarist Brad Gillis founded this band in 1979, and it would go to have some commercial success in the 1980s thanks to hits such as “Sister Christian” and “Don’t Tell Me You Love Me.” Director Paul Thomas Anderson effectively used “Sister Christian” in a pivotal scene in his 1997 movie Boogie Nights. The group returns to MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.
Anne Wilson
The country singer-songwriter comes to the Akron Civic Theatre in the wake of the release of her new single, the gospel-infused “God Story.” Tonight’s concert begins at 7:30. 182 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-2488, akroncivic.com.
Warren Zeiders: Relapse, Lies & Betrayal
The country superstar brings his latest tour to the Covelli Centre in Youngstown. Earlier this year, Zeiders released Relapse, Lies, & Betrayal, a sprawling 21-track album that touches on all the themes mentioned in the album’s title. The show begins at 7:30 p.m., and Chayce Beckham opens. 229 East Front St., Youngstown, 330-746-5600, covellicentre.com.
SAT 11/22
Blondeshell
Sabrina Teitelbaum, who records and tours as Blondeshell, brings her tour in support of her sophomore album, If You Asked for a Picture, to the Beachland Ballroom. She’s just released an expanded version of the album that includes new and live Blondeshell songs along with a few choice covers of songs by influences such as Conor Oberst, Samia and Folk Bitch Trio. The Sonder Bombs open, and the show starts at 8:30 p.m. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.
They Might Be Giants
The quirky alternative rock band plays the Agora as part of its the Big Tour. The group’s
career stretches back decades now, and press materials boast that the band will play wildly different sets when it performs for multiple nights in a single city. Doors open at 7 p.m. The group heads over to Globe Iron to perform tomorrow night. That show also starts at 7 p.m. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
Tropidelic
The local act that’s become a nationally touring band returns to the Agora. Tropidelic formed in 2008 in Kent and built a following after self-distributing more than 10,000 free copies of its self-produced first EP, Rebirth of the Dope. During the course of its nearly 20-year career, the group has opened for acts such as Slightly Stoopid, 311, Pepper, the Dirty Heads, Sublime w/Rome, Soja, the Wailers and Flobots. It’s now a legitimate headliner.
Atrikal Sound System, Grieves and Land of Panda open. Doors open at 6:15 p.m. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
SUN 11/23
YUNGBLUD
Like the late David Bowie, one of this British singer-songwriter’s influences, YUNGBLUD has the cheekbones of a model and a penchant for punk/New Wave melodies. He comes to the Agora tonight at 7. Singer-songwriter Sawyer Hill opens. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
The Beths play Globe Iron. See: Tuesday, Nov. 25. | Credit: Frances Carter
MON 11/24
Maroon 5: Love Is Like Tour
Touring in support of its eighth studio album, Love Is Like, the pop band performs at 8 p.m. at Rocket Arena. The jittery, ‘70s funkinspired new single, “Priceless,” finds the group collaborating with LISA of Blackpink. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketarena.com.
TUE 11/25
The Beths
The indie rock act performs at 7 p.m. at Globe Iron. Its latest album, Expert in a Dying Field, features 12 meticulously crafted power-pop tunes that feature harmony vocals and crisp guitar licks. Phoebe Rings, a New Zealand band touring in support of its new album, Aseural, opens the show. 2325 Elm St., globeironcle.com.
EC50: A Celebration of Eric Carmen’s Musical Legacy
This concert that pays tribute to the late singer-songwriter Eric Carmen will feature former members of his band as well as the Lakewood Project and the Lakewood High School Orchestra. It also serves as a fundraiser for the Lakewood High School music program. The show begins at 7:30 p.m. 14100 Franklin Ave., Lakewood, lkwdpl.org/schools/civicaud.
WED 11/26
Jeezy Presents... TM: 101 Live
The hip-hop icon celebrates 20 years of his debut album, Let’s Get It: Thug Motivation 101, with this special show at the State Theatre. The concert begins at 8 p.m. 1519 Euclid Ave, 216-771-8403, playhousesquare.org.
Portugal, The Man
The indie rock act returns to its small club roots for this tour that brings it to the Grog Shop in Cleveland Heights. The group’s new album, SHISH, has yielded a slew of singles, including “Angoon,” “Denali,” “Tanana” and “Mush.” The concert will feature deep tracks, extended jams and special guests. It begins at 8 p.m. 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5588, grogshop.gs.
FRI 11/28
Welshly Arms & the Vindys
Sam Getz was a session guy before forming the blues-rock band Welshly Arms in Cleveland in 2012. The group played its first-ever show at the Beachland Tavern in 2013 and has toured nationally in the wake of that initial gig. Youngstown-based the Vindys have played outside of Northeast Ohio too, and the group mostly recently opened some dates for Pat Benatar. The two regional acts team up for this show at House of Blues. Doors open at 6 p.m. 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com.
SAT 11/29
Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
The hip-hop group that first formed in Cleveland in the early 1990s returns to the Agora. The group famously inked a deal with the late Eazy-E, who helped make the rappers into superstars by putting out their early albums on his Ruthless Records. Doors open at 7 p.m.
5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
SUN 11/30
Blind Guardian
The hard rock group from Germany brings its Somewhere Far Beyond Tour to the Agora. The veteran band released its 12th album, The God Machine, in 2022. It offers a heavy does of Metallica-like power chords and calland-response vocals. Doors open at 7 p.m. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
MON 12/01
Chiodos: All’s Well That Ends Well 20 Year Anniversary Tour
On tour to celebrate the 20th anniversary of their debut, All’s Well That Ends Well, the emo/post-hardcore act comes to House of Blues with openers Hawthorne Heights, Holywatr and Big Ass Truck. Chiodos has even re-recorded and reissued the album to mark the occasion. Doors open at 6 p.m. 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com.
SAVAGE LOVE SNAKES AND BLADDERS
by Dan Savage
I’M A STRAIGHT MALE WHO IS NOT well endowed — I’m at the edge of the scale used to describe average penis size — and I watch porn both alone and with my wife. I suddenly find myself becoming more and more fascinated with larger penises. Specifically: What is it like to have one?
Like most straight guys, I’ve never touched a penis other than my own. I’ve spent my entire life fondling one penis. I want to touch another penis but — and I mean this very sincerely — not for a sexual purpose. I want to experience what a well-endowed penis owner experiences daily. What is it like to wash a large penis while showering? Or to hold it while pissing? Or to feel it in your hand while adjusting yourself? What does it feel like to stand at a urinal and pull a snake out of your pants and feel a stream of piss coursing through all that meat while you’re holding it in your hand?
Is there a way I can do this? I imagine going into a gay bar and asking the bartender to point me to the patron with the biggest dick. And then going up to that patron and politely asking if he would let me follow him to the bathroom when he needs to piss, stand behind him, and then pull his huge snake out of his pants and hold it for him while he pees. No sex. No implication of such. I just want to know what it feels like to be the owner of a massive cock for a few moments.
Help me, Dan. What is the protocol here? I’ve Been Shorted
Oh, there’s a protocol — we’ll get to the protocol in a moment — but first I’m wanna unpack the totally insane assumptions you’re making.
Insane Assumption #1: Gay men will do anything.
Insane Assumption #2: Gay men are so into straight men — we’re so desperate for the attention of straight guys — that we’ll do anything a straight guy wants. That includes letting random straight men stand behind us and hold our cocks while we’re pissing because that’s totally not something a serial killer or a jealous ex-boyfriend would ask you to do before slitting your throat and leaving you to bleed out on the bathroom floor.
Insane Assumption #3: Gay men disclose their cock sizes to the bartenders in gay bars when we buy our first beer and/or the bartenders in gay bars have fucked every man in the bar (okay, not an entirely insane assumption) and bartenders in gay bars are happy to direct random patrons — especially nervous straight guys giving first-time-ina-gay-bar energy — to the gay guys with the biggest cocks (an entirely insane assumption) because that’s a perfectly normal thing for a bartender who doesn’t wanna lose his job to do.
While I don’t want you going into gay bars and asking bartenders to point out the guys with the biggest dicks, IBS, I also don’t want you — and I mean this very sincerely — to give up on your dream (or the pleasure) of holding a much bigger dick in your hand. But to make your dream of holding another man’s cock in your hand while he takes a piss, IBS, you’re gonna have pay for the privilege like all the other perverts. That’s the protocol here, IBS.
I know, I know: You’re not a pervert! You want to hold another man cock for him while he pisses for him, not for you while he pisses! (So selfless!) You will derive no sexual pleasure — none at all — once you’re pressed up behind a man while he stands at a urinal while he takes the kind of long, leisurely piss that guys with massive cocks are famous for taking. But since the guy who lets you hold his massive cock is 1. highly unlikely to believe you aren’t getting a thrill from it and 2. highly unlikely to let you hold or wash or adjust his cock if there isn’t something in it for him — and being fondled by a straight guy isn’t something (it’s not anything) — your search for a hung guy who’ll do this for free is going to be long and fruitless. So, paying for the privilege is your best bet, IBS, if you actually wanna make this happen. Direct your polite requests to your local male sex workers, traveling porn stars, and other men who enjoy showing off the goods on social media. But open a Venmo account first.
P.S. I shared your question with Leo Louis, a gay porn star who is famous for his staggeringly huge cock. “When you’re gay and well-endowed, you get to pick and choose who you interact with sexually and rarely do I feel like doing volunteer work,” Louis replied via text. “That said, I’m often a sort of toy among my group of friends. They play with my cock and brag about my size as if my cock is an extension of the group. So, I’ve had multiple friends hold my cock while I piss — that and other bathroom stall activities — but a random straight man is on the bottom of my list of people to entertain. Maybe if you get me a drink or something I’d let you feel it. LOL.”
P.P.S. Large or small, gay or straight, sex worker or sex volunteer, etc., we all get to pick and choose who we interact with sexually, as I’m sure Louis would agree.
P.P.P.S. I’ve touched a lot of penises other than my own — more men have allowed me to pull their cocks out of their pants than I can count — but I’ve never heard a gay man refer to his cock or anyone else’s as a “snake.” So, best not to use that word while you’re making your polite approaches.
Follow Leo Louis on Twitter @LeoLouis0.
I have a friend of many decades who has a kind of quirk. The drunker he is, the gayer he is. If he is 100% sober, he is adamant that he is 100% straight. If he is a little drunk, he is a little bicurious. If he is blackout drunk, he will kiss men and fully admit to being bisexual and skewing towards men. Once when he was blackout drunk, he propositioned his wife’s ex-boyfriend. He doesn’t seem to have any problems with gay people at any stage of sobriety, he is just adamant he is not gay when he is not intoxicated. My question is, should I tell him that absolutely everyone, wife, kids, friends, employer, coworkers has seen him talk about liking men since sadly, he gets blackout drunk fairly frequently? We just want him to be happy.
Helping One Man Out
You have a phone, HOMO, and unless you’re one of those modern luddites, your phone has a built-in camera that records video — you just point it at someone and press record. So, the next time your Not Gay Friend is drunk and hitting on men and telling on himself, I suggest you whip out your phone make a video. Not to post publicly — not to shame or blackmail him — but to show him, HOMO, and only show him. Basically, the next time he denies being even the tiniest bit interested in men, pull him aside, open the video, and press play. Maybe seeing it will convince him to stop lying or stop drinking or both.
I am a straight cis-woman in her early 40s who ended a 12-year sexless marriage a few years ago. I have recently met a wonderful guy, and I am starting to be able to have fun in the bedroom again. My dilemma is that I have been experiencing pleasure so intense it becomes discomfort and takes me out of the moment. Like I loved when he was going down on me, but the sensation made me want to push him away because it was too much. Am I okay? Is this fixable? Help!
Overwhelming Orgasmic Feelings
but in OOF’s case, my guess is that it’s about the good feelings feeling so good because she hasn’t had them in a really long time.”
We don’t need to tell you this, OOF, but twelve years is a long time to spend in a sexless marriage. And while your marriage ended a few years ago, you only just met the new man in your life, bed, crotch, etc.
“Just like water hits differently when you’re dying of thirst,” said Martine, “pleasure can hit differently when it’s been a long time since your body’s had a reason to remember what it likes. For all intents and purposes, this is new territory.”
So, while you may not be a virgin technically — I’m assuming your marriage wasn’t sexless at the start — it’s been so long since you explored your sexuality with a partner (I’m hoping you were having good solo sex while your ex-husband neglected you), OOF, that you can think of yourself as a virgin in spirit. (Recognizing, of course, that the concept of virginity is a problematic one and blah blah blah. But you know what I mean here!)
“When I work with clients exploring anything new sexually, my mantra is: baby steps, and keep yourself in the driver’s seat,” said Martine. “There’s a technique by Masters & Johnson called Sensate Focus that I often recommend to couples. It’s essentially a scaffolded touch exercise where partners take turns showing and describing what feels good. It builds incrementally, and it’s great for expanding your body’s capacity for pleasure while learning each other’s cues. And while there are times when discomfort warrants a medical check — like pain during orgasm (dysorgasmia) or penetration (vaginismus) — because OOF describes the sensation as overwhelming rather than painful, there’s no need to sprint to the doctor’s office just yet.”
Follow Rena Martine on Instagram @_rena. martine_ and learn more about her work (and get her book The Sex You Want)— at RenaMartine.com.
Got problems? Yes, you do!
Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love!
Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan!
Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love
“This isn’t a problem to ‘fix’ so much as an invitation to get curious about what’s happening,” said Rena Martine, an intimacy coach and sex educator. “Sexual overstimulation is a real thing. Sometimes it’s caused by too much repetitive friction or sensory sensitivity from neurodivergence,
mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage www.savagelovecast.com
