Grapeshot Magazine | 'XO' by Grapeshot Magazine

ISSUE 5: XO

CAMPUS NEWS & LIFE | ARTS & CULTURE | STYLE & SUSTAINABILITY | REVIEWS | & MORE

CALENDAR

JULY/AUGUST MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

MacFest

Macquarie University Careers Fair 12 - 3pm, Atrium

First day of Session 1

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

Dog Lovers Show Moore Park

14 City2Surf Hyde Park to Bondi

16 Respect.Now.Always@MQ Launch

SMASH! Sydney Manga & Anime Show Rosehill Gardens Racecourse

Do you have an upcoming event? Let us know and weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll do our best to include it in our calendar. Email grapeshot@mq.edu.au

ISSUE 5: XO

CONTENTS 7 NEWS

27 FEATURES

39 CREATIVES

8 News Flash

28 Sexual Diversity

40 XO Poems

10 Weighing Up Unpaid Internships

30 A Lesson in Slut Shaming

41 Jesus is Melting

12 Great barrier Reef Faces Bleaching

32 Interview with Pornstar-cum-Activist

42 Secret Whores

14 American Politics Explained

34 The Skewed Lens of Rape Culture

16 WTF Just Happened

17 REGULARS 18 Tinder Terrors 20 How to Survive (And Even Enjoy) Your University Education 22 Not Your Yellow Fever 24 The Challenge: Tantric Sex Class 26 Fake Advice: Betty White

36 The Problem with Pick Up Artists

43 REPEAT OFFENDERS 44 The Stew 46 Reviews 50 Horoscopes 51 Quiz: Find Your Sexual Spirit Identity

EDITOR’S LETTER After trying out Tinder for the last two months I felt confident that I’d been provided with enough inspiration to dedicate my entire first issue as Editor-in-Chief to the topic of sex and relationships, setting a standard from here and beyond. From “is your name Angela because you look like an angel” to “send nudes” I think my varying experiences with dating apps will resonate with almost all Grapeshot readers. On that note, I give you XO – a thorough analysis of all things romantic and sexual, the good and the bad. Because as we all know, online dating is not always what it’s cracked up to be, in fact the law itself is struggling to keep up with the changes, leaving much to be desired. I mean, authorities only just started coming down on unsolicited dick pics in late 2015!? On top of the desire to bring a number of inclusive and coherent voices to the topics of sex and relationships we also wanted to take the opportunity to address the pervasiveness of sexual assaults on university campuses, particularly those that have recently occurred at the University of Sydney, and to discuss what our own campus is doing to combat this. Over the coming months Grapeshot members will be heavily involved in the Respect.Now.Always@MQ (RNA@MQ) project. Macquarie University will be hosting a Vice Chancellor-led panel and screening of The Hunting Ground on August 16, with further details to come

Back to this months issue! Putting together this edition of Grapeshot has been interesting to say the least. A particular highlight was waking up to a message I’d received from our Regulars Editor Phillip at 2 am, which stated, “Grapeshot has officially broken me” after we’d set Phil on a tantric journey with the help of Martina from Tantric Blossoming. Following on from my predecessor, I’ll give you the customary “we are sorry” and an added “you are appreciated” as this was particularly bad. In this issue we speak with Lucie Bee- Pornstar, Escort, Geek Girl and Activist taking on anti-prostitution lobbyists and Gamergate, as well as discussing the word “slut” and how we can all avoid sexual bullying with Emily Lindin- Founder of the UnSlut Project. Jon gives us a lesson in sexual diversity, while Annie shares her experiences with racialised sexual harassment and the disturbing concept of “yellow fever.” All in all we hope that you enjoy the first issue of Grapeshot for Semester Two and that you will one day find your very own Tinderellas. Oh, and dont forget to take our quiz to find out your true sexual spirit identity on the back page! P.S. The new team members- Alicia, Angus and Paden have done a great job on their first issue and I’m really looking forward to the issues ahead. XOXO Ange

EDITORIAL & CREATIVE PRODUCTION EDITOR IN CHIEF Angela Heathcote

DEPUTY EDITOR Amy Hadley CREATIVE DIRECTORS Paden Hunter and Caitlin Thom FEATURES EDITOR Yehuda Aharon NEWS EDITOR Alicia Scott REGULARS EDITOR Phillip Leason ONLINE EDITOR Angus Dalton PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Jebediah Ebert WEB DEVELOPER Timo Jarvinen COPY EDITOR Amelia van der Rijt COPY EDITOR ASSISTANT Erin Christie

MARKETING TEAM ADVERTISING MANAGER Ellen Barrett MARKETING MANAGER Aura Lee

THE CONTRIBUTORS Shannon Abberton, Sarah Basford, Benjamin Cant, Cameron Colwell, Tess Connery, Josh di Matteo, Isabella Garrido, Anna Glen, Hugo James, Nikita Jones, Brittney Klein, Louise Knight, Raelee Lancaster, Michael Lozina, Lina MacGregor, Ruby Miles, Jon Papadopoulo, Shinae Taylor, Annie Tong, Cassie Warriner, Nick Wasiliev, Alexis Worthing, Charbel Zada

EDITORIAL REVIEW BOARD Student members: Sarah Basford, Shantell Bailey, Sarah Cameron, Kris Gilmour, Sarah Li Yee Lien, Yi Wong, Timothy Zhang Campus Life Member: Natalie Dainer

PUBLISHER

COORDINATOR

Kim Guerin

Melroy Rodrigues

GOT SOMETHING TO CONTRIBUTE? Grapeshot would like to acknowledge the Darug people as the traditional custodians of the land on which we work, and pay our respects to their elders, past and present.

NEWS

NEWSFLASH SRC CONSTITUTION HAS THE POTENTIAL TO HINDER DEBATE A pervasive topic of discussion at the Student Representative Committee (‘SRC’) meeting held on the 26 May was the ongoing criticism the governing body has received from the university publication, Grapeshot. An anonymous source has informed Grapeshot that some members of the SRC were “furious” at an article posted online by Grapeshot prior to the meeting. Ellie Sanderson, the SRC’s Women’s Representative, was not present at the meeting and shared the article on her personal Facebook profile, which our source says elicited unfavourable reactions from certain SRC members. An SRC member then argued Sanderson had breached the SRC Code of Conduct by speaking out against resolutions made by the SRC, and should be immediately dismissed. After some confusion over the correct course of action, the same member requested that the General Council be contacted to make a determination on the constitutionality of Sanderson’s behaviour. When asked for a statement in regards to the procession of the meeting, SRC Treasurer Lachlan McGrath said, “During the most recent meeting of the SRC a discussion took place amongst the members regarding alleged breaches of the SRC Code of Conduct and responses to these allegations. These allegations were not solely in regard to our mandate of publicly supporting decisions made by the SRC. This discussion was tabled pending recommendations from University Legal Council. “ The SRC Constitution states that, “SRC members have a duty of loyalty to the University and the SRC, and outside SRC meetings they must support the letter and the spirit of SRC decisions when dealing with other parties,” as well as, “The powers of the SRC are to be exercised by the SRC as a whole. Decisions must be made collectively and members are bound by the SRC’s decisions”. Given that many members of the SRC openly do not support the decision to keep meetings closed, as well as the negative reaction that closed meetings have received, it has proved to be a contentious issue within the SRC. WORDS || Angela Heathcote

8 || NEWS

NAIDOC WEEK This year NAIDOC Week celebrations were held across the country from 3-10 July to celebrate the history, culture and achievements of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. The theme was “Songlines: The living narrative of our nation”. Songlines are, in their simplest form, intricate maps of our country, describing travel and trade routes, locations of waterholes, and local food sources. However, they also tell a story of the people who lived and continue to thrive on this land. This year Macquarie University took part in the Guringai Festival to help raise awareness around our First Nations Peoples living in the Northern Sydney region. An annual Indigenous festival that runs from Sorry Day on 26 May until the conclusion of NAIDOC Week on 10 July, Guringai Festival held workshops, art exhibitions and performances in 11 participating Local Councils to celebrate Indigenous culture and practices within the wider community. Yet NAIDOC is not only about celebrating culture and telling stories, it is also about breaking down the barriers between Indigenous and non-Indigenous Australians. This year commemorates ten years of the Closing the Gap campaign, where Australia’s peak Indigenous and non-Indigenous health bodies, and NGOs have worked together with a common goal to close the health and life expectancy gap between Indigenous and non-Indigenous Australians. While infant mortality has declined and more Indigenous students are completing Year 12, the gap in life expectancy has not improved since the start of the campaign. WORDS || Raelee Lancaster

MACQUARIE UNIVERSITY COMMITS TO ADDRESSING SEXUAL VIOLENCE ON CAMPUS

FYI: CAMPUS RESTRUCTURES COUNSELLING AND DISABILITY SERVICES

Macquarie University’s Equity and Diversity team have announced a new project aimed at targeting sexual violence on campus. The Respect.Now.Always@MQ project will be launched this month and comes as a response to the 2015 film The Hunting Ground, a US documentary that focuses on the sexual violence that is prevalent throughout the US’s university campuses.

This year Campus Wellbeing has undergone changes that restructure the delivery of counselling and disability services for Macquarie University students. One of the major changes is the introduction of bulk billing for psychological consultations funded by Medicare.

The two year Respect.Now.Always project promises to review procedures and develop consultative policies, as well as distribute information online and generally raise awareness on campus. Staff and student leaders will be undertaking training on how to appropriately deal with situations that arise to ensure that harmful responses such as victim-blaming do not occur.

The Hunting Ground focuses on the stories of two students who had been sexually assaulted on campuses in the US. The documentary shows how their reports were tied up in complicated bureaucracy. It became apparent that university officials were more interested protecting the institution’s reputation than adequately dealing with the crimes that had been committed. Earlier this year, the National Union of Students released the results of their 2015 ‘Talk About It’ survey, which asked students from universities around Australia about their experiences of sexual violence, among other things. Alarmingly, 94 per cent of respondents selected that they had not reported their own sexual harassment or assault to the university. Of those who did report their mistreatment, only 28 per cent were satisfied with the way in which the situation was dealt. Macquarie University will be hosting a Vice Chancellor-led panel and screening of The Hunting Ground on Tuesday 16 August 2016 from 1pm to 4pm, further information will be publicised soon. WORDS || Sarah Basford

Previously, a student could arrange to see a psychologist six times per semester – and have up to 12 booked sessions per year – depending on the needs of the student. Students can now have three appointments with a psychologist before they are required to see a General Practitioner (GP) or psychiatrist who will provide a mental health care plan and a referral to Campus Wellbeing. Only after this process can students book to see a psychologist for a further six sessions, with another four sessions available after review by the GP. As a result, students can now benefit from up to 13 booked sessions per year with the cost fully covered by Medicare or, for international students, Overseas Student Health Cover (OSHC). Along with changes to face-to-face consultations, Campus Wellbeing has updated the UniWellbeing Course that offers free, online-delivered treatment for students who aim to manage symptoms of stress, anxiety, low mood and depression. This course aims to assist students who do not access the campus during business hours or study by distance. Disability services also underwent changes regarding health documentation provided by students who require individual support to ensure their education is on equal footing to other students. Initial changes that comply with Federal Government requirments meant that approximately half of the students who previously accessed disability services were required to re-submit documentation that identified how their disability impacted their studies. Jonathon Papadopoulo, GLBTIQ Coordinator in the Equity and Diversity Unit, outlined that, “from the point of view of student equity, a transparent and accessible system is the most important outcome.” WORDS || Alicia Scott

NEWS || 9

“IS WHAT YOU SOW WORTH REAPING?”

WEIGHING UP UNPAID INTERNSHIPS If you’re a student and a Millennial, by the time you have reached the end of your academic career, chances are you’ve done some unpaid work –whether it is through unpaid internships, volunteering or through unpaid placement as part of your degree. The Federal Government’s Youth Employment Scheme has reignited debate over the value of unpaid internships. Announced in this year’s Federal Budget, the Youth Jobs PaTH (Prepare-Trial-Hire) program is the Government’s latest attempt to move people off welfare payments and into employment. Up to 30,000 internships will be provided to job seekers who receive Youth Allowance or Newstart payments and who have been unemployed for six months or more. Young people who sign up to work 15-25 hours per week as part of an internship will be paid $100 extra per week on top of their regular payment. If you do the math, that’s a whopping $4 an hour, or just under a quarter of the minimum wage. If that isn’t enough, participating businesses will receive $1,000 for taking on an intern, which has raised concerns about whether companies will be able to replace workers on proper wages with underpaid interns in order to save costs. With the rising cost of living, combined with an equally inhospitable workforce, the question must be asked – are unpaid internships worth it? The answer to that question depends on who you ask and what you really gain from unpaid internships. On one side, Baby Boomers will argue Millennials should apply for unpaid internships to gain experience that could possibly lead to potential future work. It’s a logical argument to make. With experience, you’ve placed yourself at an advantage over your peers who are vying for the same position. A joint Australian–UK study found that those who participated in internships were much happier with their career choices in comparison to those who didn’t. This study found that students who undertook internships gained a practical insight into their career choices, and it helped them confirm that the work was personally desirable.

10 || NEWS

With this in mind, the question still remains: should students have to go without pay simply to gain experience and insightful knowledge. When I asked one of my Macquarie University peers about the idea of unpaid internships, she asked, “Why should I have to spend my money and time for an unpaid internship that’ll go for months when I have bills to pay right now?” The fact that internships are often unaffordable for students living out of home raises several issues. Millennials face an increasingly hostile world compared to the generations before them. While it was easier for Baby Boomers to find a full-time job, access the housing market, and cover the costs of living, younger generations face a great deal of economic and social uncertainty. With uncertainty there lies a widening gap between those who can afford to go for unpaid internships and those who can’t. If that isn’t enough, participating businesses will receive $1,000 for taking on an intern, which has raised concerns about whether companies will be able to replace workers on proper wages with underpaid interns in order to save costs. When asked about unpaid internships, Hayley New, currently in her final year of her Arts degree, argues, “We’re being asked to give up too much for too little”. Having interned for free at three organisations in the last two years, I can identify with Hayley’s sentiment, and can see why it is echoed by a lot of university students. The reality is that unpaid internships remain a symptom of a broader problem with the economy and the workforce, and young people are often left to wear the brunt. Unpaid internships can potentially lead to networking connections, industry experience and confidence in career choices. For students living out of home, however, the rewards may not outweigh the risks. For many, giving up days of paid work to intern for free, or at a quarter the minimum wage, just isn’t a viable option. WORDS || Charbel Zada

NEWS || 11

GREAT BARRIER REEF FACES BLEACHING AMIDST LACK OF CLEAN ENERGY EVERY YEAR IT IS BECOMING HARDER TO IGNORE THE OVERWHELMING SCIENTIFIC CASE FOR URGENT ACTION AGAINST CLIMATE CHANGE.

12 || NEWS

Both of the major parties have failed to provide adequate responses to issues concerning the environment, each reflecting the pressures of maintaining relationships with international companies and their economic pull. Despite these pressures, evidence suggests that we should act now and with haste. In April 2016, The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) announced that Earth has experienced an extraordinary 12 straight months of record-breaking temperatures worldwide. Even worse, in 2016 we have witnessed the highest global temperature in recorded history, that is, since 1880. Such reports are extremely alarming. Carbon dioxide emissions continue to drive global warming and it is no coincidence that the Great Barrier Reef has just experienced the worst coral bleaching event in its history. Queensland researchers estimate that one third of the coral in the central and northern areas of the Great Barrier Reef is irreparable. In talks with the Sydney Morning Herald, Professor Terry Hughes of the ARC Centre of Excellence for Coral Reef Studies at James Cook University said he was “gobsmacked” about the scale of the bleaching. Hughes explained that cyclones can cause a 50-kilometre span of destruction on coral reefs, but this recent bleaching has been as destructive as “ten cyclones holding hands and marching across the northern third of the Great Barrier Reef”. What is coral bleaching and what causes it? Coral depends on microscopic algae called Zooxanthellae that lives in its tissue and is the coral’s primary food source. When irregular conditions occur, such as increased ocean temperatures and pollution, the algae becomes stressed and leaves the coral. As a result, coral depletes, turns pale white in colour, and becomes susceptible to disease. The reality is that the coral in the northern area of the Great Barrier Reef will struggle to rebuild before future environment events like el niño and the pressures of climate change challenge the coral’s tolerance threshold. I spoke to Shannon Hurley from the Australian Marine Conservation Society (AMCS) about coral bleaching and the importance of taking action against the threats of global warming, industrialisation and farm pollution runoff that are impacting the future of the Reef.

to take action and create change. “We are the generation most likely to decide the fate of the Great Barrier Reef and [we] are the leaders it needs! I don’t want to see the Reef destroyed in my lifetime and I want to know that I did something about it. I have seen many people feel powerless to act because they think it won’t make a difference. If everyone felt this way, the Reef would already be gone. It’s worth fighting, while we still have something to fight for,” Hurley explains. During the Federal Election both major parties made promises to help save the Reef, however, Hurley believes that neither major party is implementing strategies to address the bigger picture. Hurley argues, “If enough was being done, we wouldn’t have to campaign. A huge contributor [to coral bleaching] is the mining and burning of fossil fuels … We need to see a commitment and action to a rapid shift to 100 per cent renewable energy and an end to fossil fuel subsidies by the government if we are to give the Reef the chance it deserves, and protect the 69,000 tourism jobs that depend on a healthy Reef”. There can be no doubt that the Government and the major political parties are aware that short-term strategies are insufficient in protecting the Reef. Most recently, Environment Minister Greg Hunt was forced to explain why the United Nations report, “World Heritage and Tourism in a Changing Climate,” omitted Australian world heritage sites, including the Great Barrier Reef, from its final report. Hunt offered two flimsy justifications: first, the original title, “Destinations at Risk: World Heritage and Tourism in a Changing Climate,” was likely to cause confusion, since the UN last year agreed not to place the Reef on its list of world heritage sites “in danger”. Second, the “negative commentary” within the report may have impacted tourism to the Reef. The Government, and the major political parties, need to forego short-term strategies in favour of long-term strategies that will ensure the splendour of the Great Barrier Reef remains for future generations. While AMCS and other non-government organisations are fighting for the longevity of the Reef, there is clearly more to be done. WORDS || Shannon Abberton

In partnership with WWF, Hurley and her team at AMCS have been working on the Fight for the Reef campaign, and were campaigning hard in the lead up to the Federal Election. Hurley shares, “[by] working with campaign partners, tourism operators, businesses, scientists and the wider community up and down the Reef coast, we have mobilised many to take action by having conversations, writing letters, and hitting the streets to protect the Reef”. While long-term solutions around renewable energy and environmental management are vital in protecting the future of the Reef, Hurley believes in the power of younger generations

NEWS || 13

A REHASH OF ALL THE CHAOS SO FAR

14 || NEWS

And so the perplexing processes of the United States Presidential Race continues… Hillary Clinton was named the official Democratic presidential nominee with the help of superdelegates (what the hell are superdelegates?), while Donald Trump, despite resistance from key Republican figures, has clinched the Republican nomination. Come 8 November, the American public will be going to the polls to vote for either Clinton or Trump. So how did we get here? On 6 June - the day prior to the democratic primaries in six states - the Associated Press (AP), a multinational non-profit news agency, pre-emptively dubbed Clinton the official Democratic presidential nominee. This announcement was entirely unforeseen and was subsequently picked up by news outlets such as NBC News, enraging those in the Bernie Sanders camp. Realistically, superdelegates don’t vote until the Democratic National Convention, which is held in late July. The announcement made by the AP was based on the pledged delegates that Clinton has received - as chosen by voters - as well as the AP’s survey of party insiders (superdelegates). While a delegate is expected to support a particular candidate, a superdelegate is not required to preference a certain candidate, and can vote how they choose. Superdelegates are usually either current or former members of the party. The survey of party insiders determined that Clinton had the support of 712 unelected superdelegates. By assuming that Clinton was now the presumptive democratic nominee, the AP received significant backlash with some parties claiming that the announcement potentially encouraged voters to get behind Clinton because Sanders was assumed to be out of the race. Both Democratic nominees were sceptical of the AP’s early assumption, including Sanders, who said, “Clinton doesn’t have the pledged delegates. Supers don’t count until the convention [in July], so it’s still on”. Clinton also Tweeted, “We’re flattered @AP, but we’ve got primaries to win. CA, MT, NM, ND, NJ, SD, vote tomorrow!”

Despite all the drama leading up to the final Democratic primary, on June 14 the race for the Democratic presidential nomination came to an end with Clinton’s win in the District of Columbia. While Sanders has confirmed he will vote for Clinton, he says he will refrain from endorsing the official Democratic candidate in the hope of encouraging Clinton to adopt more liberal, progressive policies in the mean time. This has proven successful. Recently, Clinton has embraced Sanders’ proposed college tuition plan. Both Sanders and Clinton agreed that they must work together to unite the party against Donald Trump. This is necessary to prevent Democratic voters from slipping through the cracks after being disappointed by the nomination of Clinton as the Democratic candidate rather than Sanders, who fared well amongst young people, independents and other progressives. On the other side of US politics, the Republican nomination has been almost-certain for a while. Donald Trump’s unrivalled popularity amongst American voters allowed him to officially clinch the nomination on 26 May, surpassing the required number of 1,237 delegates and shattering the record of votes in the Republican primaries previously set by George W. Bush back in 2000. It’s been clear for some time that Trump would become the Republican nominee, no matter how much the Party leadership dislikes him. Despite claims of personal wealth and the ability to self-fund, as the time of writing, Trump has been running a nearly 100 per cent burn rate, which has left him with only $250, 000 in his campaign account – substantially less than his competitor. The Telegraph in the UK has labelled this a “historic campaign fund deficit” that has never been seen before. The Trump campaign seems to be in serious hot water. Key Republican figures have either denounced Trump or refused to actively support him, including Mitt Romney and the Bushes. In a Fox News poll released on 29 June, Hillary Clinton led Donald Trump by six points, 44 per cent to 38 per cent. WORDS || Angela Heathcote and Lina MacGregor

NEWS || 15

WTF JUST HAPPENED? PAULINE HANSON MAKES A COMEBACK AND TURNBULL CLENCHES ONTO THE THRONE: ‘PLEASE EXPLAIN’ On 2 July, 11 million Australians took to the ballot box and voted in the Federal Election. After eight weeks of campaigning and seven and a half hours of live television coverage of the results, neither Labor nor The Coalition had enough seats in the Lower House to secure a majority Government on the night of the election. While many predicted the election would be close, it was still thought that the Coalition would easily form a majority Government. So what happened? Labor undoubtedly ran a more effective campaign and came out with a number of successes. They won several marginal electorates (particularly in Tasmania) and convincingly retained seats that were under threat by the Greens, which included the first elected female Indigenous Labor member in the House of Reps, Linda Burney. At heart of the Labor message was that Medicare would be privatised under a Liberal Government. This is a half-truth at best and was criticised by the Coalition because they did not in fact propose to privatise Medicare itself, but the outdated payment system. The Labor campaign capitalised on the Coalition’s chequered history with Medicare, where they attempted to introduce a GP co-payment in 2014, and pledged to introduce a freeze on the Medicare rebate which is likely to result in higher costs for a trip to the doctor. In hindsight, Malcolm Turnbull made the admission that the Coalition had failed to persuade the public of their commitment to Medicare during the campaign. Others made the observation that the failure of the Liberal campaign – ‘jobs and growth’ – was its positivity. Malcolm Turnbull insisted on talking about innovation and the benefits of the Company Tax break when in fact health and education continue to be the main priority for the voters, both young and old. That’s said, there was a stark absence of changes to higher education from both of the major parties.

16 || NEWS

In comments made to the media, Tony Abbott said he would have focused on issues such as national security and border control. It is not hard to imagine the negativity of such a campaign, which would have included, circa 2013, slogans such as ‘Stop the Boats’ and ‘Team Australia’. As senseless as these slogans sound, they have a persuasive impact and, as this election has indicated, the public respond more to fear than positivity. The power of negativity also explains the return of Pauline Hanson and her party One Nation. Her campaign policies included a Royal Commission into Islam as well as a ban on halal certification, and Cory Bernardi has claimed Hanson’s election to the Senate was a result of disaffected Coalition voters. Hanson’s presence is also part of a broader trend of Australians turning away from the major parties. Around 23-27 per cent of Australians were not voting for one of the two major parties, yet the Greens still lost a seat in the Senate. Meanwhile, the Nick Xenophon Team claimed a number of seats in the Senate alongside shock jock Derryn Hinch, Bob Katter, and Fred Nile. This new Senate presents difficulties for the Coalition. Its composition suggests it will be more hostile than the previous Senate and means the ABCC legislation, which was the trigger for the double dissolution election, will still not pass. Given Malcolm Turnbull accused the previous Senate of being obstructionist, his troubles have only just begun with the new one. This is particularly significant because Turnbull bears the responsibility for the newly elected Senate having introduced the Senate Voting reforms and calling the double dissolution election. While Turnbull claimed to have made these decisions for the purpose of productivity, the current election results have offered anything but the stability promised. WORDS || Alicia Scott and Anna Glen

REGULARS

VOX POPULI: TINDER STORIES FROM MACQUARIE

TINDER TERROR ALEX

DYLAN

I came across this guy whose name was Sugar-Daddy, and his only photo was the words “Sugar-Daddy” in white writing on a black background. Not too subtle, and rather creepy, but I thought, “Fuck it, I could use some new shoes.” Turns out he was quite a bit older than his account said (no surprises), and was unbelievably boring. I’m talking, on-morethan-one-occasion-starts-a-conversation-about-the-weather kind of boring. I had absolutely no desire to ever take him up on his sugar-daddying, and he kept saying ‘lol’ at the end of every message, so I stopped replying. Clean break, I thought. Then a few days later I was on a bus and somebody sat down on the seat behind me, leaned over and said, soft and sensuously in my ear, “Hey sugar-baby”. WHAT THE FUCK. I didn’t turn around, and I got off at the next stop. I’ll never know if it was really him, I mean, maybe it was just some other disgusting creep – I never saw what he looked like, after all. But I’m not that big of a believer in coincidence. 0/10, would not recommend Sugar-Daddy.

I’m 20, and I matched with this 24 year old guy called Matt. He was hella hot, and said he worked as a janitor at a hospital. After a few days chatting I discovered he was in fact 27, and his name was James. I was pretty freaked, but he also revealed that he’s actually a doctor at the hospital – the janitor story was a filter for shallow people. Anyhow, I still wanted to sleep with him. When we met up, his move, this 27 year old man, was to ask to compare our hand sizes. Childish, but it worked, and we got down to it. After we finished, he didn’t remove the condom for two hours while we chatted in bed. Then he got up, put his pants back on and left, with the condom still on. I know you’re wondering, did he ever take it off? Evidently, because next time we met, it was gone. This was for a quickie in a hospital on-call room while he was at work. Quite the thrill, but once again, he didn’t remove the condom. He was then paged to treat a woman who had had a heart attack, so he put his scrubs back on to go treat this dying woman, used condom still on his penis. She survived. I’ll probably see him again.

18 || REGULARS

CHARLIE

JOHN

There was no bush-beating or dinner-and-a-drink with Daniel. In deciding to meet up, we pretty clearly established that it was just for a quickie, there’s no need to bother with the charade of courtship. He doesn’t want to wait until the evening to meet up though, he’s too keen. He suggests he can come over in the afternoon, despite my warning that my grandma will be home. He says he’s totally fine with that – we can lock the door, and her hearing probably isn’t great anyway. So a few hours later he arrives and, before we start, he has to confess something. It turns out the reason he wanted to meet in the afternoon is because my grandma would be home. Apparently he’s had somebody’s grandma walk in on him having sex before, now he has some weird fear/kink (I’m not sure which) for grandma interruptions. He wanted to use this opportunity to try and get it out of his system, and reassure himself that he could have sex in a house with a grandmother in it, and not get walked in on. I’m just a guinea pig he’s using to facilitate all this. Flattering, right? He ended up getting so worked up about the whole thing that he couldn’t go through with having sex and had to leave. I essentially just served as a free psychologist for this dude for an hour while he got all that weird shit off his chest.

I was chatting to this girl for a few days, and we decided to meet up for a Netflix and chill sesh. She had a Netflix account, so we actually did watch stuff on there for a while. In the end we made it to the chillin’ stage, then parted ways. All good, big success, everybody’s happy. What she didn’t know is that I chose ‘remember password’ when she logged into her Netflix account on my computer. I copped free Netflix for six months before she realised and changed her password. Sorry, but I’m not really sorry.

NATALIE So it’s prior to Tinder Social, and my friend matches with four guys sharing one account. They’re great value, so she insists that we all go out – four of us, four of them. By the end of the night at The Bank in Newtown, we’re all pretty drunk, we’ve lost some of the guys, and my friends decide they want to leave for Oporto. I opt out, and find myself walking home with one of the boys at 2am. He continually warns me that his bedroom isn’t very accommodating, but he is cute (enough) and I am (very) drunk, how bad could it be? EXTREMELY BAD. As we fumble through the bedroom door I am greeted by what I can only describe as a milk crate fort. This boy has taken the inner west hipster to a whole new level (literally), and built himself a bunk bed out of milk crates. At either end of the room, a pile of the crates have been stacked up on top of each other with a flimsy plank laid across, connecting the two stacks. This plank is maybe 30 centimetres from the ceiling with a mattress on top. I wish I could say that I laughed and politely left. Instead, I agreed to put the mattress on the floor and attempt, rather unsuccessfully, drunken sex. The worst part is that the only other object in his minuscule bedroom was a semi-dismantled drum kit. Our sex sounded like an amateur drummer practising their solo for an angsty punk band.

REGULARS || 19

HOW TO SURVIVE (AND EVEN ENJOY!) YOUR UNIVERSITY EDUCATION After a few conversations, multiple friends and acquaintances admitting to frequent breakdowns, and some research, I’ve come to confirm something I’ve suspected for a long while: being an Australian student in the year 2016 is fucked. What was once, I imagine, an intellectual orgy of engagement, enrichment and community has been ravaged by a number of political policies and global trends, so that university now resembles something of a social and political minefield. If your parents went to university, conversations with them may have left you with the vague sense that their generation had it much easier. This is a notion validated by statistics. In Richard Hil’s book, Selling Students Short: Why You Won’t Get The University Education You Deserve, he points out that, by the end of their first year, at least 80 per cent of students are involved in part-time work. This would not have been the case in previous generations, when the cost of living was not

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so high, and people therefore had more time and energy for university. While some students now may have the privilege of being able to rely purely on their parents to sustain their lifestyles, this is not an option for many families. More crowded classes, economic deprivation and the reclusive tendencies of many university students, I think, are factors that have led to a situation in which university students are five times more likely to report mental illness than the rest of the population. For the start of a new semester, with an influx of new students and with returners who are struggling to get their uni groove back, I’ve written a guide to help deal with the harrowing back-to-uni adjustment period. There are a few things you can do to mitigate the shittiness of being a university student in 2016. I have three suggestions:

1) STRATEGISE YOUR TIME At the end of a more-or-less disastrous first year, I resolved to make a proactive approach to university. Before the semester started, I sent emails to my tutors asking for lists of the texts I would have to read. Following this, I spent some of my free time in the university library, researching and preparing myself. Strangely, with the gift of all that time, I felt like I was really getting some in-depth learning done for the first time in my higher education.

What was once, I imagine, an intellectual orgy of engagement, enrichment and community has been ravaged by a number of political policies and global trends, so that university now resembles something of a social and political minefield.

This strategy made it much easier to cope with my university workload. My past attempts at surviving university had involved a dangerous pattern of worrying, procrastinating, and finishing assessments at the last minute. This pattern often left me physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, and afterwards I often lacked the energy to even get out of bed. My new strategy allows me to take regular breaks which I can spend as I desire, so that study is no longer an experience of constant crisis.

2) FIND YOUR PEOPLE One of the things that made my first semester so bloody difficult was that I went through it almost alone. Each of the four units I studied was in a different faculty, which meant that I rarely ran into people from my classes. In the end, I only came to uni when I had to, and made time to see my friends on the weekends. In my second year, I made a more conscious effort to make new friends. I learnt that establishing a communiy is vital to enjoying your learning experience. You need people with whom you can communicate, collaborate and complain. My own group of like-minded students consists of people who also study English or Education, people I work with at Grapreshot, and the people I have met through student groups I am a part of, mainly those in the Queer Collectvie. Becoming part of a network of students was vital to changing my perception of uni, making it a place where I belonged and was excited to go. My university community is also my support network, and knowing that I have this network enormously boosted my wellbeing.

3) KILL YOUR SHAME Although my first year of university was very difficult, I did certainly learn one skill: how to loathe myself like never before. I slowly accrued an image of myself as a burden on my parents, a waste of campus space, and a worthless, lazy person. While I did change my work ethic significantly during my second year, I also realised that stuffing up is essential to learning — a lesson I see echoed again and again in my Education units. I was failing to see that spending time thinking about how much I was doing wrong was draining my energy: I would dwell on my mistakes, and wear myself out, but I have come to realise that some things are simply beyond your control. No matter how hard you work, there are some things you can’t change. Maybe you made a mistake and realised it too late, or you were called in to work a last-minute shift and a lack of sleep or preparation ruined your results. If you’re having a crisis at university, don’t dwell on what you could have done better, but instead focus on the present and what you can change to avoid the same mistakes in the future. Good luck and godspeed in the new semester. WORDS || Cameron Colwell

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NOT YOUR YELLOW FEVER Picture this: I am fifteen years old, taking my dog for a walk along a quiet suburban street. I see a car approaching. Whoever is behind the wheel begins to honk their horn. They speed up towards me, close enough that I spot the three white teenage guys in the car. The car slows beside me with the windows all the way down. Out pops the head of one delightfully classy gent, who yells, “My mate wants to fuck your tight Asian pussy,” before cackling and speeding off. Needless to say, I was completely fucking mortified. I rolled my eyes and kept on my way. As I grew older, and much to my dismay,

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I became familiar with the concept of “Yellow Fever”. The original use of the word was to describe a disease carried by mosquitos in tropical regions, but the term has been co-opted by creepy men who have obsessions with Asian women. You may have heard it used in the context of some overbearingly loud guy exclaiming, “I only date Asian girls. Yeah, guess you could say I’ve got Yellow Fever,” or, “Steve, heard you have a thing for that Asian chick in our biology class, caught that Yellow Fever, huh?” I might add that in this fictional world of self-diagnosed race-related illnesses, “Jungle Fever” is also something that (unfortunately) exists. I’ll leave you to Google that one yourselves.

The perception that Asian women are pretty, docile and subservient objects is still prevalent today.

Yellow Fever essentially boils down to a fondness for fetishising Asian women. The historical progression of this race-fetish can be linked to early European representations and imaginations of the “exotic” East. We can trace these depictions to a late 1800s novel called, Madame Chrysanthème, a popularised account of a Japanese woman written from a white-male perspective. The author described a Japanese woman, who was then his wife, as a “play-toy,” a “little, creamy-skinned woman with black hair and cat’s eyes,” she was “pretty and not much bigger than a doll,” with “delicate hands and miniature feet,” who would constantly “grovel before him on the floor”. The perception that Asian women are pretty, docile and subservient objects is still prevalent today. In a video titled, “What Do Western Men Think Of Asian Women?” one respondent said, “there’s a perception of Asian women being quite raunchy behind a veneer of humility and quietness”. Rather than seeing us as multifaceted individual human beings, these stereotypes render us as the homogenous “other” to Western women. Drawing on outdated stereotypes, Western women and Eastern women are often held up in contrast. Comedian Amy Schumer has commonly compounded these stereotypes in several of her skits. In one show, she rants about how she; a blonde haired, blue eyed, white woman had simply no chance of competing with Asian women because; they’re good at math, they cover their mouths when they laugh because they know men hate when women speak, and to top it off, have the smallest vaginas in the game. Seriously?

radical about giving Asian women the same ounce of respect as white women? Are we not equally as unique and individualistic? Who decided that it’s perfectly reasonable to apply a cookie-cutter mould onto all of us, as if we individuals were designed to fit within such prescribed margins? “Stop making everything about race!” Why? If you can discuss class, gender, and economics in all aspects of public and private life, what makes race any different? I’ve been told in the past that I should feel grateful for men who are obsessed with Asian women. Apparently, I should base my self-worth on how fuckable-out-of-10 some white guy rates me. I should not feel grateful that the collision of my gender and race means that I am stereotyped, fetishised, exoticised and hyper-sexualised. Fifteen year old me did not feel grateful for the racialised sexual harassment she had to deal with when simply taking her dog for a walk. Seventeen year old me did not feel “special” when she was told, “you’re not like other Asians because you’re a cool Asian,” as if Asians are inherently “uncool” and I exist outside of that orthodox. As a twenty-one year old, my heart doesn’t skip a beat when I’m approached by people who tell me I look “exotic” or “Oriental”. That’s the kind of vocabulary you should be using to describe ornate furniture - not a real, living, breathing human person. WORDS || Annie Tong

As I sit here thinking about these worn-out stereotypes assigned to Asian women, I can’t help but feel tired and disenchanted. Why is it so difficult to move past essentialist and monolithic presumptions about us? What is so

REGULARS || 23

THE CHALLENGE:

TANTRIC SEX CLASS With Phillip Leason

Now, in writing this, I’m sitting with my laptop in a back alley in Paddington, cradling myself with a long-neck and a cigarette I bummed off a stranger, telling myself that it’s all going to be okay. Grapeshot won this time, the challenge has broken me – I just left my tantric sex class two hours early.

culture-kitsch joke probably won’t fly. But then somebody says, in all seriousness, that they’re feeling blessed. This is when I first start questioning what I’ve gotten myself into. Before we begin we’re reassured that if at any point we don’t feel comfortable with an exercise we can opt out. “Hah!” I think, “As if.”

I’m going to back-track this to give you some TMI. My girlfriend and I have a great sex life, but it lacks something: nine hour orgasms. The mythical multi-hour orgasm is the rumoured end-point of tantric sex practices, so when I was told I had to attend a class on tantric sex for the “XO” challenge I thought, “Well hell, that can’t hurt”. There are several classes in Sydney, so I just picked one and signed up. You can go as a couple, but my girlfriend was away for the break, so I was going to have to fly solo.

They start the calming music, and we’re told to close our eyes, breathe deeply and shake. Boogie-woogie, this is nice. Then we gradually “open ourselves up” by moving through the space with our arms out, gently touching the hands of others and holding eye contact. I’m a no-physical-contact-unless-entirely-necessary type of person, and while this is confronting, I assure myself it’s good for me. Then I notice a few people embracing. Well fuck, that escalated quickly. That wasn’t the exercise? The men are then told to plant on the spot and close our eyes, while the women circulate the space and touch our chests, arms, hands and backs. Having multiple sets of hands tenderly touch me at once is, well, pretty amazing. “Oh god, what if I get properly into this?” I wonder,.“Does it count as infidelity?” Then I remember, with a shudder, how old everyone is. Impending erection recedes into oblivion. The roles are reversed, and the men do the touching. With eyes open the

I expected to join just a handful of people for the class, but I arrive to find a huge queue leading up to the hardwood, fairy-lit space. Almost 60 people have come along – this is a serious community, and they’re almost all middle-aged and older. Before we start we sit on blankets to each introduce ourselves and say how we’re feeling. I’m tempted to say “hashtag blessed”, but I’m probably the only person in there under 30, and a

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reality of the situation is unnerving, but I don’t want to be impolite, so I do my best to rub everybody. We’re told to partner up. By this point I’m too panicked to approach anybody, and I wind up as the last guy left alone, so they pair me with somebody: Luda. She’s 60+. For the next 10 minutes, I caress and embrace, while being and caressed and embraced by Luda. I can’t help but notice that her skin feels like my mother’s as my hands catch in the folds on her back. With eyes closed, it’s an Oedipal nightmare. She’s laying with her head in my lap, stroking my arms. Luda’s into it, she’s going to town, and internally I’m screaming, “Just stick it out! You have to finish the challenge. It’s fine, don’t actually engage with it, just go through the ropes and you can leave. Only 120 more minutes, that’s 7200 seconds. One second at a time.” Yes, I did the maths, I needed a distraction. By this point my eyes are wide open, I couldn’t keep them shut any more, and around the room people are sitting with their legs wrapped around each other or stand-spooning. All I can hear over the sitar music is the heaving breath of the beast with 60 backs. Finally it ends, and Luda sits up to asks me how I found it. “It was really nice,” I say, “very comforting.” Then as soon she moves back into the crowd to find a new partner, I grab by bag, dig my shoes out of the pile and head straight out the door. I’m fucking done.

These aren’t bad people, or weirdos. They’re kind and open, and as I’m leaving one of the other class members follows me down the stairs to check if I’m alright. This is clearly a wonderful experience for them, and I understand how valuable this sort of intimacy could be with a parter; if I’d done this with my girlfriend I’m sure it would have been great. But no. Never again. I’ll never be able to incorporate tantra into our relationship without reliving this night. Besides, I’m still a young person coming to grips with my sexual self, there’s no need to get weird until I’ve gotten my head around the basics; I should be saving that for a midlife crisis. Luda now swims in my vision when I close my eyes, and I can still feel the cold tip of her nose pressing into my cheek as she nuzzled my neck, and her leathery arms rippling under my fingers. It’s a few weeks until I see my girlfriend again, but what if Luda’s image crops back up the next time we’re together? What if we’re getting hot and heavy and then, “Boom!” Luda. And it’ll be sort of like I’m, well, you know. With Luda. Oh god, therapy please. Phillip: 0 – Grapeshot: 1 WORDS || Phillip Leason

Regulars || 25

FAKE ADVICE with

Hi Betty! My boyfriend wants us to try sexting, but I have no idea what to say and I’m afraid I might sound stupid. What sort of stuff should I write?

- Stephanie

e t i h W y t Bet

Good heavens! What have they been teaching the youth these days? You don’t know how to sext? Steph you’ve come to the right lady! I’ve been sexting since before ‘sexting’ was a word. Back in my day, I would send the occasional dirty letter or even dirty telegram to my husband to add some spice to our marriage – back then, sexting took a lot longer. I will never forget my husband’s face the day a singing telegram turned up to our door to tell him how much I wanted his body! Nowadays, my sexting has improved immensely, and with Tinder I can have a man over for “grandkids and chill” in mere moments!

Now of course if you want to get a bit more raunchy, remember that the sexiest thing you can do to a man is objectify him. I have prepared some sexy examples to send your hubby to let him know that you have him on your mind. Try: “Send me a picture, so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas,” “Get that booty over here,” or “Boy, what you got up in them jeans?” These are guaranteed to get him in the mood. But if words aren’t your forte then you could always send him pictures. For my suitors, I like to send pictures of me, holding my eight Emmys, that always gets me hot!

Now Stephanie, my advice is to start mellow and gradually turn up the heat. You are testing what you are comfortable with as well as what he likes. Slip buzzwords into the conversation like “sexy,” “throbbing,” and “oiled-up,” just casually to create a subtle sexual atmosphere, and then see if he picks up on it. For example, send him:

Hope this helps Stephanie! Happy sexting!

“I’m baking soufflés, they’re almost ready to go in the oven, I just have to get the ramekins oiled up.” “The soufflés are cooking and they are throbbing in the the heat.” “Just got my soufflés out and they look sooooo sexy.” See? He knows that you are thinking sexy thoughts and also that dessert will be provided if he comes over: trust me, he’ll be there quick-smart. Why, I recently asked Tom Cruise if he wanted to see my “50 shades of grey’,”and oh my! You have never seen a man reply faster.

WORDS || Ruby Miles

Love, Betty White xo

FEATURES

SEXUAL DIVERSITY Exploring non-Heteronormative Identities and Practices

HETEROSEXUAL/HETEROROMANTIC Attraction to the ‘opposite’ gender, though this traditional definition is sometimes scrutinised for its reliance on a binary gender model. Essentially refers to attraction between men and women. HOMOSEXUAL/HOMOROMANTIC Attraction to the ‘same’ gender. More common terms include: - GAY Sometimes used as a default identity label, but more commonly used for men attracted to other men. - LESBIAN Specific label for women attracted to other women. BISEXUAL/BIROMANTIC Attraction to ‘both’ genders. Again, this is sometimes scrutinised for its conformity to binary gender options. Esentially refers to attraction to both men and women. PANSEXUAL/PANROMANTIC Attraction to people of any gender, or attraction regardless of gender. This identity recognises people whose gender identity is diverse, non-normative, or does not conform to gender binaries of male/female. ASEXUAL/AROMANTIC No or very little attraction, regardless of gender. DEMISEXUAL/DEMIROMANTIC Not experiencing attraction until significant emotional connection with a person.

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I am a proud and open gay man, and an active member of the wider queer community. Considering the state of the current discourse both domestically and internationally in regards to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer community (LGBTIQ), it seems clear to me, as a diversity advocate and educator, that many people are in desperate need of a factual and appropriate ‘QUEER 101’ course. If you have any question as to the need for this kind of education, allow me to direct you to the research demonstrating that the mental health of the LGBTQIA+ community is amongst the poorest mental health demographics in Australia. Members of the community are also subjected to disproportionate amounts of violence and abuse. I can also point out the deplorable number of human rights that are infringed by archaic and discriminatory laws. I can further highlight the prejudiced and harmful views of conservatives who claim that members of my community are akin to child abusers or animal lovers (as in the gross, bestial kind). To tackle the ignorance prevalent in society, or to highlight the plethora of injustices faced by my community would be longer than a PhD dissertation. For now, I think we could safely try dipping our toes into the waters of sexual orientation. You may have also heard other phrases for this term, like ‘sexuality’ or ‘sexual identity’. To be honest, they all have their merits and disadvantages, but for the most part, can comfortably be used interchangeably without much confusion. But do not use the term ‘sexual preference’, as it is not only outdated, but serves to invalidate what, for some people, is an absolutely core element of their identity, by implying the existence of a choice. Sexual orientation is a combination of your sexual and/or romantic attraction to others, generally on the basis of gender. Though several different theories exist as to how people form their sexual orientation, all credible medical, psychological, social, anthropological

and scientific evidence clearly shows that sexual orientation is not informed by choice, it cannot be learned or unlearned, and it cannot be changed. It’s important to note the following in understanding sexual orientation: firstly, sexual and romantic attraction are both interrelated and independent. For the majority of people, sexual and romantic attraction on the basis of gender are the same. Some people, however, experience one more than the other, or sometimes neither. For example, you can experience romantic attraction but not sexual attraction, and vice versa. Secondly, sexual orientation does not always dictate sexual activity. Recognising your sexual orientation can be a long and difficult process, but is always related to how you identify, not with whom you have sex. For example, a person may identify as homosexual even before having any sexual experience, or after having sexual experience. Thirdly, sexual orientation cannot be changed, but it can be fluid, as with your personal identity. Take for example, a man who has always identified as ‘gay’ but has started to develop sexual or romantic attraction for a woman. His sexual orientation has not changed, but perhaps his understanding of his sexual orientation, and the label he uses to define it, may change. If you or anybody else chooses to change how they label themselves, respect it. Fourthly, gender may inform sexual orientation, but the two are not the same. Your gender identity is your understanding of yourself as male, female, a combination, or neither, and is always culturally informed. Your sexual orientation, on the other hand, positions your attraction to other people on the basis of their gender.

Keeping in mind the differentiation between sexual and romantic attraction, the labels defined on the opposite page use the term -sexual or -romantic to indicate the nature of the attraction; someone could be heterosexual and biromantic. It should be noted that labels that are -sexual are generally considered to refer to an alignment of sexual and romantic attraction when no -romantic orientation is identified. It is important to remember that heterosexuality is not “normal”, but merely common. Because heterosexuality is so privileged in our society through institutions including marriage and family laws, as well as social expectations relating to gender and family roles, sometimes people ignore or seek to invalidate other sexual orientations and identities. This is offensive, harmful and destructive, and ultimately, it is not reflective of the true diversity of sexual identities. Some people are very strongly aware of their sexual orientation. Some people are confused and trying to make sense of it all. Others do not care and prefer to live a life unburdened by labels or preconceived ideas of sexuality. Regardless, we all deserve to be respected and accepted, and to have our sexual orientations and other forms of identity recognised.

WORDS || Jon Papadopoulo GLBTIQ Coordinator for The Equity and Diversity Unit

Finally, note that labels can be simple, while people are complex. Not everyone will use the same label, and some people prefer to use no label at all. The rule of thumb is to always respect what people tell you!

FEATURE II 29

A LESSON IN SLUT SHAMING: HOW NOT TO DO IT AN INTERVIEW WITH EMILY LINDIN FOUNDER O F THE UNSLUT PROJECT

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Have you ever feared that one day your younger brother or sister will rummage through your things and stumble across your personal diary? Or perhaps you fear that, with the help of an iPhone and all its internet browsing and networking capabilities, a snap of a single page could be uploaded online, leaving you in unimaginable despair, with only the very inefficient option of reporting the image to Mark Zuckerberg. Well, this is a reality for Emily Lindin - Founder of the Unslut Project - but with a twist. Lindin instead chose to upload her diary entries on to Wattpad in the hope that they would comfort anyone who chose to read them. What began as a quirky attempt at a blog very quickly grew into something Lindin could never had imagined. It turns out that Lindin’s own experiences aren’t all that different from our own. The Unslut Project has provided people of different genders, ages and backgrounds with a space to share their stories and experiences of slut shaming. You can be assured that at least one person will read your entry. “Every story that’s submitted through the Unslut Project website I read, and edit it for grammar, periods and capitalisation before I put it up on the website.” This painstaking task is no doubt made all the more rewarding when a stream of diverse stories begin pouring in. Candid about her privileges as an upper-middle class, white, cisgender woman, Lindin saw the Unslut Project as a clear demonstration of what it meant to be an Intersectional Feminist. “I realised my life wasn’t at risk, my job and safety weren’t in danger for speaking up about my story in this way but that isn’t the case for so many women.” Guilty of slut shaming myself, throughout our interview I was worried about admitting to my own transgressions. But eventually I succumbed because Lindin has the kind of phone presence that makes you want to divulge your deepest, darkest secrets. “I make the point that just because you’re currently participating in slut shaming, or realising that you’ve done it for a lot of your life, doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person.”

*exhale* Despite being more aware of these bad habits, I always catch my mind reverting back to this kind of thinking. Luckily, Lindin is not only equipped with modes of acknowledgement, but also prevention. Her cure for slut shaming? Be more creative.

“We’re not going to live our lives without encountering an instance where we want to insult another woman …but to do so we have to make it not about our sexuality. She’s a dynamic, full person, so make it something that’s actually about her personality.” Hmmm, I can definitely work with that. Lindin is full of good advice for young girls. Having recently begun writing a column for Teen Vogue, Lindin is enlivening the usually-demoralising online comment sections with exclamations of, “Oh god I never thought of it that way,” and, “wow I never realised”-type phrases, Lindin has provided young women with yet another forum that has the potential to be used as a point of reference. “I want to provide tools that they can use, or a rephrasing of a conversation they can have with their parents…because of the limited perspective that you have at that age you might not really know the vocabulary for it.” Disregarding the fact that Teen Vogue is aimed at adolescent girls, I can’t help learning a thing or two along the way. For instance, Lindin encourages the use of “I’m not into that” in otherwise awkward sexual situations. “It’s something you’d say about anything, food or a movie, whatever!” The light-heartedness aside, slutshaming and sexual assault has the potential to go hand in hand, so I ask Lindin if some events from her teenage years could perhaps act as a prelude for more sinister things in a college or university context, and whether or not educational programs have the potential to make a difference. “I mean the United States federal government was funding these quote ‘sexual education programs’

where basically they said don’t have sex, you’ll die and they’d use these really horrible metaphors like being a chewed up piece of gum if you’d had sex before marriage.” All of a sudden, my mind flashed back to when my own high school teacher used videos of animated cats fumbling under blankets as a visual representation of human intercourse. It would seem that both women from the United States and Australia are limited to the same educationally-devoid framework that benefits absolutely no one. United in a lack of sexual education in our schools, as we are in the prevalence of sexual assault on our university campuses and colleges, the US recently witnessed the viral case of Brock Turner - a case that caused distress and discomfort amongst female students at Macquarie University. This anger surged further when Brock’s father released a statement of faith in his son, as well as a twisted attempt at philanthropy by suggesting that Brock could teach others about the “dangers of alcohol consumption and promiscuity”. What seems to me to be an example of institutionalised slut shaming - the standard for our culture of victim blaming - to Lindin, is also an opportunity for change. “The letter from Brock’s dad: as infuriating as it is, I’m glad it’s being circulated, because people can read that and see some of his emotions within themselves and possibly check themselves.” Lindin recognises the positives that may come out of the Brock Turner case, but also understands the paradox that women live with each and every day. That is: how do we remain safe while also living the lives we want to live? Lindin says that the honest truth is that it is almost impossible, but adds that, “We can certainly minimise it by educating people about what it actually is, and we can create a world where it’s not normalised. We can undo rape culture, [we can ensure that] people who commit sexual assaults are ostracised and are punished.” WORDS II Angela Heathcote

FEATURE II 31

STARING DOWN THE LYNCH MOB NIKITA SITS DOWN WITH LUCIE BEE, PORNSTAR-CUM-ACTIVITST. “I’m buying want?”

you a coffee, what do you

“No way! You’re not–” “Tough.” Lucie orders a cappuccino for me, a latte for herself. I have a page of prepared questions for the interview, but it remains folded because my subject won’t wait to be asked. Lucie Bee’s website bio says ‘Pornstar, Escort, Geek Girl, and Activist’ and she stuffs all of these into a petite five foot two frame. She refuses to be contained, even within these words, which is an intimidating quality for an interviewee to have. “They call me Reese Witherspoon”

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– ‘they’ are Bee’s friends on Oxford street – “and when a gay guy tells you that you look like someone you take it.” She thinks it’s her nose – it isn’t. It’s in that cut of her jaw, those wide eyes, and the fact that you can just picture her marching up the steps of Harvard Law with a little Chihuahua under one arm. “I really respect women who are femme as well as those who aren’t. A woman can wear a pantsuit and woman can wear a fucking sweetheart neckline, like it’s not gonna kill anybody.” It’s terribly difficult to imagine this woman conforming to anything, least of all a pantsuit, but she says this was not always the case. “When I first started as an escort I tried to toe the line and I tried to be like everybody else because I saw what a lot of girls were doing and I was like okay, so this is what I have to

do in order to make money.” She cringes, “Early in my porn career I had the worst extensions known to man and they made me tan a bit more and I was like...” she closes her mouth on a groan. She follows with a story about a shoot she did with a ‘pizza boy’ premise, where “I actually said, ‘I don’t recall asking for this as a topping’ and…I.Hate.Myself.” But the busty blonde pornstar stereotype is one Bee left behind when she branched out and embraced her own image – with huge success.“I thought, I can sit and I can pine and I can wait for the mainstream media to catch up and realise that flat-chested girls with red hair can be perfectly acceptable cover models, or I can make it happen. So I made it happen.” Bee dyed her hair a fierce magenta, put her glasses back on and did a photoshoot

“I’m like, ‘thank you, Richard Gere, I really appreciate it, can you take me shopping now?’”

with a storm trooper helmet. “A lot of people thought it was a stunt, a gimmick and I can understand why in an industry that’s full of gimmicks.” These questions of authenticity constantly surround women in the geek and gaming communities. The theoretical ‘safe-space’ is haunted by the concept of the ‘fake-geek’. In fact, Lucie has plans to address this exact issue on a panel at the PAX Gaming Convention this year. “I think women feel a certain pressure to prove their geek-cred. I’ve yet to do a proper photoshoot where I am fellating a PlayStation controller, but there’s still time.” She’s also an avid cosplayer and adds that, “the cosplay community doesn’t know what the fuck to think of me”. I get the sense they’re not alone. “I’m a sex worker and I’m not quiet about it,” she says, as if she’s quiet about anything. She’s done PAX panels about sex and hosted Sexpo competitions about cosplay. She occupies both worlds uncompromisingly and that ultimately attracts some unsavoury attention. “The Gamergate people put me on something called the SJW ban list which was this huge list of Twitter accounts of people you should avoid because they’re social justice warriors and I made that list and it was like the fucking Oscars.” However, Gamergate is certainly not the most intimidating lynch mob Bee has stared down. “It’s scary, it’s a scary time that we live in because they [antiprostitution lobbyists] want to make it seem like we’re these horrendously dirty messy horrible people who can’t look after ourselves, who can’t look after our homes, who can’t be trusted… there’s a new puff piece on news dot com every five seconds.” She won’t stand for people who say the industry is killing sex workers: “The stigma is killing us”. “What people don’t understand is when they talk that way about the industry when they say these nasty disgusting things, they are sometimes shaming women who don’t have another choice. They’re like ‘we don’t want to live in a world where that’s their only choice,’ and it’s like, okay, cool, so what you want to do then is make sex work illegal, and make this a world where they go onto the black market and they’re effectively sold into slavery rather

than operating within an establishment or operating on their own terms.” She rolls her eyes. “They don’t care. They’d be happy if we were all dead or just stopped talking.” It’s not surprising when she mentions she was reared by three generations of strong women, “I was raised to be a feminist I think”. Her mouth presses to a thin line when she says that most people seem to think all female sex workers come from abusive backgrounds. We live within a culture that loves to condescend. “I think women feel a lot of pressure in any industry to prove themselves, and so many of us are so educated and intelligent and so amazing and we’re constantly given shit. It’s like, ‘oh look at you with an opinion, how sweet”. She bristles, too, at the white knights who want to ‘save her’ and give her tips on saving money in order to ‘get out’. “I’m like, ‘thank you, Richard Gere, I really appreciate it, can you take me shopping now?’” Bee’s not about to take ‘victimhood’ lying down. She live-tweets Q&A, and her Twitter is equal parts “boobie pics” and activism. She’s pushing for Australiawide decriminalisation of sex work, she’s speaking out against injustice even within her own communities, and she’s not just using her platform: she’s jumping up and down on it and yelling. “You wanna know what’s best for sex workers? Ask sex workers.” She tells me that her mother attended the Festival of Sex Work with her last year, where she was able to witness Bee’s activism first hand. “Afterwards she said, ‘I’ve been here now and I’ve seen all this and I realise this is where you need to be.’” “The reason I speak up as much as I do is because there are women who are not as fortunate as me and I want to know that they can go to the police. I want to know that they can feel comfortable getting help where they need it”

W O R D S II N i k i t a J o n e s

FEATURE II 33

THE SKEWED LENS OF RAPE CULTURESEXUAL ASSAULT AT UNIVERSITIES CONTENT WARNING: THIS ARTICLE DISCUSSES SEXUAL ASSAULT. IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IMPACTED BY SEXUAL ASSAULT, DOMESTIC OR FAMILY VIOLENCE, CALL 1800RESPECT ON 1800 737 732 OR VISIT 1800RESPECT.ORG.AU.

34 II FEATURES

Before I begin this article, it is important to identify the perspective from which I am writing. As a white male, I cannot speak for women who have experienced sexual assault: indeed, I will never be able to completely understand their experiences.

It’s time for us to address the issue of sexual assault on university campuses and at residential colleges. Experts in Australia have recently found that universities, and particularly residential colleges, are “target-right” environments for sexual assault. This is due to a combination of factors, including an atmosphere centred on experiencing freedom and experimentation, and the high proportion of young people, most of whom are living outside home for the first time. Sexual assault on campus has been brought into the public eye through the recent legal case involving Brock Turner, a student at Stanford University in the United States. On 18 January 2015, Turner sexually assaulted an unconscious 22-yearold woman behind a dumpster on the Stanford University campus. Turner was sentenced to just six months imprisonment for the assault had upon the victim. One journalist writing for the Washington Post wrote: “Turner was a member of Stanford’s varsity swim team, one of the best in the country. He was an All-American swimmer in high school in Ohio, so good that he tried out for the U.S. Olympic team before he could vote. Suddenly he was accused of rape”. The media’s skewed perception of sexual assault brings to our attention an array of social issues, particularly the culture of victimblaming. For the media, and many other members of society, placing the onus on the victim and dictating what women should and shouldn’t do is the obvious solution. Such an onus, however, is absolutely not a solution. Long-term solutions, such as education about what

constitutes sexual assault, and addressing pervasive cultural sexism must be implemented. The issue of sexual assault on campus is certainly not exclusive to the US. Australia, too, has been facing issues of sexual assault that occur on university campuses, and particularly at residential colleges. Incidents of sexual assault, harassment and sexism have been exposed at many of the residential colleges at the University of Sydney. The recent exposure of the Wesley Journal at Wesley College has highlighted the institutionalised sexism behind college “tradition”. The Wesley Journal dedicates pages to awards including “Best Ass”, “Best Cleavage”, “Biggest Pornstar” and “Kinkiest Collegian”. The Journal also dictates that: “Freshers” are defined “primarily for… [their] willingness to put out for their seniors” and for “enabling all the hook-ups a sleazy, pussyhungry adolescent could dream of”. One feature of the Wesley Journal is ‘Rackweb’, which details intercollege hook-ups. Some of the women named in that “feature” have revealed that the ‘Rackweb’ actually contains incidents of sexual assault. One woman has stated that, after she was sexually assaulted by a male resident, his friends harassed her online, teasing her that she should “hook up” with him again. In the wake of the Wesley Journal, some have called for Australian residential colleges to be shut down. It is essential to understand, however, that sexual assault is not solely a college issue, and

such blanket statements fail to acknowledge the benefits that on-campus accommodation can provide. On-campus accommodation is an essential resource for those who are living away from home for the first time, particularly for those moving from another town or city. On-campus accommodation helps provide social support mechanisms, and health and wellbeing to students. We should recognise that Australian colleges have the ability to foster a positive discussion about how universities, and society more generally, can address sexual assault. Macquarie University is one university that has been at the forefront of such a discussion. Macquarie has joined a coalition of universities around Australia, operating under the guidance of Universities Australia, to launch the Respect.Now.Always Campaign. The Campaign aims to: “…Help to raise awareness among the 1.3 million students in Australian universities that sexual assault and sexual harassment are unacceptable. It will also lift the visibility of the services available for students who need help and support.” Respect.Now.Always@MQ (RNS@ MQ) will be launched at Macquarie on Tuesday 16 August at 1pm, and will feature a screening of The Hunting Ground. An event will also be led by Macquarie’s Vice Chancellor Bruce Downton. WORDS II Hugo James

FEATURE II 35

THE PROBLEM WITH P I C K- U P A R T I S T S W h e n Sed uction i s n o Lo n g e r R o m a n t i c I became fascinated with the pick-up artist community several years ago after having come across a discussion of the community on a popular forum website. I can only describe my initial reaction as being a mixture of curiosity and revulsion. I began skim reading pickup artist (“PUA”) forums. Entranced by their multiple excuses for subordinating women, I couldn’t help but be disgusted with the men who followed the seduction doctrine. Pick-up artistry, or PUA, refers to the contemporary community of men who engage in seduction techniques with the intent of increasing sexual success with women. A well-developed sport, PUA has an increasing amount of selfprofessed experts and numerous theories

of seduction approaches. The majority of the PUA community exists on the internet, however prominent seduction experts often ‘tour’ nationally and internationally, hosting pricey seminars, conferences and workshops for men who desire to improve their “game”. Recently the seduction community - a term interchangeable with PUA - has come in for a great deal of public backlash. Critics argue that pick-up artists objectify women and encourage sexual harassment and violence. Based on the casual misogyny I have witnessed on PUA forums, I would have to agree. Sexism is so prevalent in society that incidents in which women are made to feel degraded, objectified and/or uncomfortable are extremely common.

Pick-up artists reinforce this androcentric culture; their techniques often employ a degree of predatory behaviour. Articles are littered with terms such as “negging’” Negging is an offensive remark delivered to a woman in an attempt to bruise her ego and therefore lower her “bitch shield” (her defensive response to deter unknown men), while “targets” are reduced to a numeral value of their perceived attractiveness, such as HB6 (hot babe 6/10). In recent times pick-up artistry has become the domain of many colourful individuals who proclaim to know the secret to seduction. “Seduction artist” Mystery, star of The Pickup Artist on VH1, is one of these. He is specifically associated with the practice of

WARNING 36 II FEATURES

“peacocking”, in which pick-up artists don outlandish and eye-grabbing attire in an attempt to draw female attention. Within the seduction community there are many different strands of PUA approaches to attracting women. While Mystery employs a linear stepby-step model of seduction he calls the “Mystery Method”, Ross Jeffries advocates “Speed Seduction” This incorporates many elements of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and hypnosis. I can only consider hypnotising women in an attempt to seduce them as being despicable. Yet this practice is seemingly justifiable in PUA as Ross Jeffries, Mystery, and others such as Neil Strauss, are considered integral members of the seduction community. Typical PUA routine follows an established blueprint of seduction. First the artist approaches the woman with the intent of capturing initial interest. He then “opens” the target. “Opening” involves striking up a conversation to sustain the woman’s interest. Attempts are made to appear interesting, funny, and even quirky, along with “negging”, which usually includes undermining some aspect of the target’s appearance. Differentiating oneself from other men is a key component of pick-up artistry. While most non-PUA men might compliment the woman, pick-up artists deviate from these expectations. In doing so, they anticipate increased sexual success for their originality. “Closing” an encounter refers to receiving a woman’s phone number, which is often attained by the pick-up artist’s persistent attempts at banter and lowering the self-esteem of his target. “Natural Game” is used to describe more organic methods of seduction, such as the techniques described above. “Unnatural Game”, on the other hand, encompasses canned one-liners, hypnosis, NLP techniques and the art of repeating scripted material to multiple women. A lot of PUA personalities in the public eye, such as Mystery, use the latter branch of seduction. Mystery places a high emphasis on “chick crack”, which involves topics like relationships, astrology, tarots, and generally mysterious behaviour. This is because

it’s more formulaic, hence easier to teach, and flashier, allowing artists to construct charismatic personas while selling their “foolproof” tactics to their faithful disciples. Instances where people have crossed the border from incredibly creepy to straight up unlawful have brought a lot of criticism onto the seduction community. Julien Blanc is a pick-up artist notorious for making sexually degrading remarks about Japanese women based on his experiences in Tokyo. In November 2014, when touring in Australia, his visa was forcibly cancelled as a result of public outrcry, with protestors swarming the locations of his events. In February of this year, popular pick-up artist Roosh V was prohibited from entering Australian borders altogether. Roosh V has been heavily criticised internationally for his advocacy of “legal rape” in which he is pushing to legalise rape on private property. Over 100,000 people signed the Change. org petition to have Roosh V barred from entering the country. Immigration Minister Peter Dutton personally confirmed that he was prohibited from entry due to disturbing and violent attitudes towards women. It is clear that, as a society, we have a growing awareness of what constitutes healthy and unhealthy attitudes towards women. Throughout the body of PUA techniques is the idea that women are the perpetual gatekeepers of sex. This idea is embodied by pick-up term “Last Minute Resistance” (LMR), which describes a woman’s decision to halt the progression of sexual relations. The situation described by LMR encompasses conflicting perceptions of sexual consent. On one hand, legal rape supporter Roosh V maintains that if a woman has been engaging in a developed degree of sexual foreplay, such as kissing, then she does not have the right to object to further sexual contact. This backwards idea of sexual consent is in direct opposition to the contemporary “No Means No” consent campaign. The blurred lines surrounding sexual consent in the PUA community and the

idea that women are sex gatekeepers severely limits men’s perception of female expressions of sexuality. Women are perpetually trapped in the lens of the male gaze, only regarded as the receivers of sex, never the initiators. Throughout the many bodies of PUA thought, there is a tangible sense of sexual frustration and entitlement to women’s bodies. In a 2014 article for VICE News, Nathan Thompson, a former pick-up artist, reduced PUA practices to being “a bunch of psychological tricks.” He criticises the PUA assumption that women are trying to entrap men in longterm relationships and stresses that personal happiness and self-confidence are superior to seduction techniques. I have to agree; individual self-fulfilment is a far more rewarding endeavour. It doesn’t require paying sums of money to self-proclaimed experts, and, more importantly, it doesn’t involve reducing women to sexual objects to be won. The PUA community has a far-reaching impact. It affects the men involved, distorting their perceptions of women, making women sexual targets. The misogynistic messages of PUA also place women in uncomfortable and even dangerous situations. From my experiences reading PUA forums, the majority of commenters were men who, prior to discovering seduction techniques, experienced great difficulty engaging with women. For these men, PUA provides a means of assured success with the opposite sex, which appears to be an irresistible offer, particularly since the contemporary construct of masculinity is centred on a man’s sexual success. As a woman I believe I am not in a position to judge these men for feeling sexually inadequate. Both sexes are under scrutiny for deviations from gender expectations. My judgement begins, however, when male insecurity endangers the safety of women.

WORDS || Shinae Taylor

FEATURE II 37

ART II Brittney Klein

â&#x20AC;&#x153;When we choose to love, we choose to move against fear, against alienation and separation. The choice to love is a choice to connect, to find ourselves in the other.â&#x20AC;? - bell hooks

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CREATIVES

CROSSED PATHS

MORNINGS

We crossed paths in the sky I was busy chasing shooting stars And you glittered like all the constellations Stitched together And I thought our paths would flow as one But we crossed paths in the sky And now I’m spiralling Engines failing Crashing back to earth

She sits beside me, sweet cakes in her hand. Greeks do it simple. Flour, butter, sugar. Wash it down with coffee. I love to see Her almond eyes come alive.

WORDS II Alexis Worthing

WORDS II Anonymous

SILENCE We sit in silence On this train to nothing The music plays on And I hear the meaning In the lyrics But you Only hear the notes So we sit in silence As this train runs off its tracks

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JESUS IS MELTING

A Sensory Essay of Absurd Gestures & Occurrences I’m standing in the centre of the living room almost naked. The repulsive centre of attention, in nothing but my undies and a blanket that I found on the couch. Like a demented picture of Jesus, I am holy. The room is empty and my apostles are asleep. The TV re-runs from the 90s are my faithful company. On the couch watching TV, beams of energy are being sucked into the back of my head like a shotgun across the room. Wrapped in my blanket, the energy ricochetes off me and bounces around the room. “What is going on?” I think and fill a vodka and orange juice. I don’t even like vodka and orange. The vodka is probably part of the reason that my head is exploding over the room right now – that, and the acid I ingested a few hours ago, and the pot I smoked 30 minutes ago. This fabulous, chemical cocktail has been shaken in my head like a martini. Pour my brain into a glass and drink up, buddy! My brain juice is a strange, bright green, streaked with blue. Goddamn, goddamn, goddamn! I need a cigarette! I walk out onto the driveway with my blanket wrapped around me like a toga – I need some sandals and my outfit is complete. Zip! FIRE! Suck in that smoke! “God, that’s like velvet!” I whisper to myself. I hold my cigarette in my right hand effeminately as I look up at the stars. BAM! A sudden burst of light and all the stars are connected, like a super-massive wall of light. “Who needs a holiday in the sun?” Standing in the middle of the driveway, I look like a sick junkie. What will the neighbours think? I wonder if I could go around scaring them. No, wait. It’s 3am. Nobody is awake. Why am I awake? As I was trying to go to sleep I looked out the window and saw the Mines of Moria. I couldn’t just stay in bed after a sight like that, could I? I stare at the stars for a while and lose all my anxiety and fear in the slow turning that I can see the Earth performing. What is there to really worry about? Nothing but what we make ourselves worry about. Am I an existential Jesus? With no followers, no one to write my story. I never rose from the dead, but I feel like I could. I feel like I already have been resurrected, right here on the driveway. I need to go to the bathroom. Light’s on. Blinded. Who’s there? Oh, it’s my reflection. Oh wow, I’m

hypnotised. Eyes wide as dinner plates, unshaven face, hair resembling a bird’s nest. Stick me on a stained glass window. Oh, bathroom mirror, you have given me such joy! At the moment; loving the blackheads on my nose and the bald patches on my unshaven face. Why did I come here again? Yes, the toilet! Emerging from the bathroom I pour myself another vodka and orange. I am Dionysus reincarnated. Man, I’m horny. What if I hid under my blanket and jacked off? Nobody would know. NO! We must be proud of our bodies and urges. But what if someone sees? WOW! Hot damn, that was worth the shame! Gimme some lovin’! I’m so glad we made it! There’s a raging bass line in my head and I’m a maniac left to his own devices. You better take it easy because the place is on fire! I want to go to the beach. Fuck it, it’s something to do. The beach is close so I’m there in no time. It’s beautiful, man. One big raging entity that’s as black as the night I’m sitting in. It settles my mind. Something bigger than me. I’m stepping off the rollercoaster for now. My feet buried in the sand – it keeps me still, keeps me grounded. I have to return to reality or I’ll go insane. Every now and then embrace this craziness but never add to it. See the world for what it is – bigger than you. Ooh, my fingers are tingling.

WORDS || Michael Lozina

II 41

Secret Whores WARNING: Adult Content Most secret whores were badly scorned once Hence the secrecy At fifteen we were tainted by the slutty slurs of boys Who went to high schools near our hometowns Who couldn’t help but run their mouths. Too young to handle pussy. At sixteen we defied our mothers An instinct too strong Instead we snuck out and fucked boys from our school bus And double standards morphed into shame But lucky for us we had good friends and Dolly Doctor Both taught us how to give head. To this day we’ve continued to open our legs Secret whores, blink and you’ll miss us. We disappear from nightclubs and into the darkness To find heaven in the beds of strangers we’ll forget. And then we are gone with the morning sunrise Before you can remember our name. Because we never told you. POEM || Anonymous

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REPEAT OFFENDERS

REVIEW || PHILLIP LEASON

THE XO STEW All this talk about sex, and many of us are left thinking, “Well that’s great, but how do I actually get me some?” An integral move in securing the deed is a well planned date, so I’ve done the hard yards for you and plotted a tasteful romantic evening, with breakfast for the morning after. Of course, your date needs to know that you’re cool, so I’ve chosen to explore the endlessly hip Darlinghurst/Surry Hills area. Try just one if you’re tentative, or go for the trifecta if you really want to trendy the pants right off of 'em.

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Dinner - The Commons 32 Burton St, Darlinghurst TUES-SUN: 6PM - Late The Commons is a rustic European restaurant off Oxford Street, which serves mostly French dishes. It’s bound to impress, if not because of its sophisticated simplicity and delicious food, then for the fact the meals are generally around $30. Remember, you want to score, you’re taking this date seriously. With rough-cut wooden tables and stone walls, The Commons only seats a few people, so it’s cozy and romantic, but you’ll want to book in advance. There’s an awesome little cocktail bar called Downtown in a cavern under the restaurant, too - it's cut into stone with low ceilings and candles in nooks in the walls. They have live jazz and blues happening down there on various nights throughout the week, so its perfect for a classy after-dinner drink.

Dessert - Gelato Messina

Breakfast Bourke Street Bakery

241 Victoria St, Darlinghurst

633 Bourke St, Surry Hills

SUN-THUR: 12PM - 11PM, FRI & SAT: 12PM - 11:30PM

MON-FRI: 7AM - 6PM, Sat & Sun: 7AM - 5PM

Okay, so we all know about Messina by now, right? If you don’t, you’re a chump. Or, you know, maybe you’re lactose intolerant, that’s cool, but your date probably isn’t, and there are lots of lactose-free sorbets to choose from. Just a few hundred meters up the road from The Commons, Messina blasts deep house while serving artisan s’cream scoops until late into the night. Novel ice cream flavours are pretty standard nowadays, but the offerings here still stand out as inventive and exciting, and there’s a rotating list of wonderful weekly specials to keep you on your toes. They’re considerably more reasonably priced than any of the competition too. To top this off, Messina is opposite a park. Getting ice cream has an endearing, childlike innocence, and what better to accompany this than a go on the swings. Fuckin’ adorable.

The Bourke Street Bakery is a teeny-tiny corner shop that’s been running since 2004, with an amazing assortment of fresh-baked artisan loaves and pastries. Yes, I used the word artisan again, and I realise that makes me sound like a tool, but this is a hipster fetish bakery - there’s no way around it. There’s usually a queue trailing down the street because there’s only standing room for about six people inside, but don’t let that, or the pungent hipster vibes, put you off. This bakery reeks of character, and makes for the perfect morning after meal. There are some tables scattered up the street, so you can order coffee and get your food on a plate. If you’re lucky there’ll be a free table when you arrive, but if you don’t feel like waiting, just grab a raisin and hazelnut loaf, sit on a bench and pull it apart with your hands – it’s probably more romantic anyway.

4.5/5

5/5

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FILMS FINDING DORY

and what is not.The experience of being a teenager in love is perfectly encapsulated in this honest and moving exploration of the complicated, fragile nature of young relationships. If you’re looking for an opportunity to support the independent Australian film industry, this is your perfect chance.

REVIEW II TESS CONNERY

4/5

TEENAGE KICKS Ahh, Finding Dory. It’s the film we’ve been waiting for ever since our 2003 selves left the cinema after Finding Nemo. To address the obvious: nostalgia definitely plays a strong part in this film, but it’s actually not what the film relies on - Finding Dory stands well on its own, something that pleasantly surprised my cynical self. As we have come to expect from Pixar films, the animation, and the settings themselves, are beautiful. I actually squeaked a little at our first look at baby Dory, and the scenes of the reef and fish tanks are stunning. The plot itself is entirely seperate from Finding Nemo, except in its capacity to make a cinema filled with 20-somethings burst into tears. It does tend to get a little repetitive at times, but really, at the end of the day nobody walked in expecting a sequel to Inception. Finding Dory is mostly super cute and fun, and I would definitely recommend rounding up a bunch of mates and crying into your popcorn over it. There’s a bonus scene at the very end of the credits, and yes you should definitely stay for it. 4/5

REVIEW II ALICIA SCOTT

Craig Boreham’s Teenage Kicks is a captivating coming-of-age film that explores sexuality, ethnicity and grief through the eyes of 17 year old Miklós. The child of devoted Catholic Hungarian migrants, Mik is torn between his family’s conservative lifestyle and the sexual attraction he feels towards his best friend, Dan. After the death of his older brother Tommy, for which he feels partially responsible, Mik’s life spirals out of control into a frenzy of drugs, rebellion and impulsive behaviour. While Mik struggles to deal with the pain of losing his brother, Dan reveals that he has a new girlfriend, Phaedra, who gets in the way of their plans to run away together.

IS THIS THE REAL WORLD

Teenage Kicks is a welcome addition to Australian queer cinema, and is situated in the wider cultural shift towards increased understanding of LGBTQIA+ issues and the push for marriage equality. The hybridity of Mik being attracted to the same sex as well as a second generation migrant represents a group of Australians largely absent from Australian film and television, yet Boreham hopes his film will help change that. Speaking at the Teenage Kicks premiere as part of the Sydney Film Festival, Boreham said he was inspired to write the film after working at a refuge for queer teens, as well as dealing with the death of his partner’s brother.

In Is This The Real World, Mark, a high school boy, becomes involved in a relationship with the principal's daughter. Their romance is erratic and frantic, and it obviously serves the purpose of allowing the characters to escape from the horrors in their lives. The chemistry between the lead actors, Sean Keenen and Charlotte Best, is undeniable – not really a surprise, considering their previous experience working together on Puberty Blues. Disconnection from reality is forms the basis of this movie and, as the title suggests, it has a dreamlike quality that blurs the lines between what is real

The final product was six years in the making due to a shoestring budget, yet it’s the film’s independence that gives the story a certain nuance. With no budget for motion picture lighting equipment, the film was shot entirely with natural light, creating a real sense of authenticity.

REVIEW II ISABELLA GARRIDO

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Teenage Kicks is a standout movie that confronts the real-life drama of adolescence and demonstrates the ever-present opportunities available in the Australian film industry. 3.5/5

BOOKS JULIE KOH PORTABLE CURIOSITIES

JOHN WRAY THE LOST TIME ACCIDENTS

REVIEW II CAMERON COWELL

REVIEW II LOUISE KNIGHT

Like Haruki Murakami with more edge, or Kurt Vonnegut but less sentimental, in Portable Curiosities Julie Koh has assembled a collection of potent, morbid short stories, each one hilarious and dark in equal measure. Koh’s work feels particularly relevant in this time of political turmoil. There’s a difficulty in writing satire in an age in which The Simpsons jokes of yesterday are coming true today - Donald Trump’s presidential candidacy comes to mind.

Though I cringe at the mention of "Foster’s Lager" on the very first page, John Wray’s novel is an incredibly rich tale, combining elements of science fiction, history and romance in a deliberation on time. The Lost Time Accidents is narrated by Waldy Tolliver, a young man who finds himself trapped in his aunt’s cluttered apartment on Fifth Avenue after being "excused from time". Waldy uses his isolation to write a forlorn letter to his ex-lover, Mrs. Haven. He guides the reader through his family’s obsession with the "Lost Time Accidents"; a puzzling rhyme that Waldy’s great-grandfather created and which hides the secrets of time travel. Wray is incredibly ambitious in the way he combines the logical and the ludicrous, rendering his nonsensical idea that a man can influence the motion of time through an "act of focused will" as a conceivable reality.

The best stories in Portable Curiosities are the ones with the right balance of high-concept sci-fi elements and Koh’s scathing social observations. See, for instance, "Cream Reaper," a story that critiques the facile nature of gentrified uber-hip Sydney through a premise only Koh’s fine-tuned, unrelentingly confident style could make believable: an artisanal ice-cream startup launches a new flavour, with the novelty of exactly half of the scoops being deadly. The most incisive of Koh’s jokes comes at the most unexpected of times. "Slow Death In Cat Cafe," for instance, contains some dead-on insights about the superficiality of modern internet culture in a story about a cat cafe that secedes from the rest of Australia to become its own nation-state. Like bitter, quality coffee, Koh’s stories are to be read sparingly: I recommend no more than two or three per day, lest you find yourself unable to sleep at night. I’m thankful that Koh has chosen short stories as her medium; I’m not sure I could weather her distinctive darkness in a novel. 4.5/5

The plot in The Lost Time Accidents is prolific, with twists in every chapter, creating an intricately layered story. While Wray emphasises scientific concepts like time and physics, he doesn’t ignore the emotional themes that accompany them. At 500 pages, The Lost Time Accidents is a bit of a challenge, but it’s a challenge that is definitely worthy of your time, especially if you enjoy a mix of genres in the one story.

4/5

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M USIC BEN CAMDEN

The project explodes into life with "Morning Sex", a teaser into the violent life of a Southside Chicago youth, and slings through rump-shakers like "Girls@" featuring Chance the Rapper, bangers like "Photobooth," and emotional, introspective tracks like "Cornerstore". The beats on the tape are eerily reminiscent of Blueprint-era Jay-Z, with an early Kanye West production vibe, peppered with Neptunes-esque drum samples – punchy and flat. It’s almost as if Purp travelled back to 2001 and plugged in an HDMI cord. The results are absurdly pleasing.

THIS IS YOURS EP REVIEW II NICK WASILIEV

Ben Camden is an up-and-coming musician from the NSW Southern Highlands. After playing on the Sydney live circuit for many years, he’s released This is Yours, his debut EP. Camden uses a well-crafted approach to folk-blues, and his deep, resonant voice is reminiscent of Johnny Cash. This is Yours a delight for folk-blues fans. Highlight tracks include "Not in Vain" with its soaring chorus, "If You Were My Girl" and it’s Wild, Wild West swagger, and "Waiting for the Rain," an intimate, guitar-based country song. But the best of Camden’s "less-is-more" approach really comes through on "Violet," a reflective and heartfelt acoustic piece. The only weak track is the opener "We Don’t Need Words" which, while beautifully raw in production and vocal delivery, lacks the punch of the tracks that follow. Regardless of whether or not folk-blues is for you, Ben Camden’s talent really is something to behold. 4/5

JOEY PURP

iiiDROPS

REVIEW II JOSH DI MATTEO

If it was released as an album, iiiDrops would likely be hailed as one of the best hip-hop records of the year. But as part of Savemoney, Purp won’t issue his work with a price. This mixtape is something that hip-hop fans should definitely be excited about – album or not.

DOPE LEMON

4.5/5

HONEY BONES REVIEW II CASSIE WARRINER

Donning the pseudonym Dope Lemon, Angus Stone delights us with his surprise solo project. Honey Bones pushes beyond the traditional folk soundscapes he created with Julia, experimenting with a sweet new genre I would describe as "electric storytelling," with indie-acoustic undertones, a psychedelic edge, and Stone’s well-known "good vibes only" dogma. The album quite deliberately has no seamless flow between songs. Unlike his previous solo work, Stone creates coherency on Honey Bones through his lyricism, steering far away from the monotony of systematic song structure and into a sophisticated sound of distinctive artistic integrity. Melancholic lead guitar tones are complemented by acoustic outbursts and sporadic drones of thoughtful vocals.

The hip-hop mixtape is changing. Once it was strictly a medium for rappers to get tracks out there and make a name for themselves, but listeners in 2016 expect more. Artists like Young Thug, Action Bronson and Chance The Rapper have been demonstrating that, in this era of hip-hop, mixtapes need focus, they need concepts and big ideas, and they need the same attention to detail as a traditional LP. Joey Purp, a foundation member of Chicago’s Savemoney crew, has embodied these new ideas in his second mixtape, iiiDrops, and thank the heavens for it.

48 II REPEAT OFFENDERS

Admittedly, the album is not for Angus and Julia Stone fans, who might scrunch their noses at the experimental sounds, or find it difficult to adjust their musical predilections, and there’s nothing wrong with that. In order to truly appreciate the multidimensional soundscape and meticulous production choices peppered through these ten tracks, you may need to listen to Honey Bones more than once. So sit down, get comfortable and enjoy being transported to place of vivid otherworldliness, spiritual transcendence and 100 per cent chill. 4.5/5

APPS NERVE’S SEX POSITION OF THE DAY

POKEMON GO

There’s no denying it, this app is funny. It offers a stream of novelty sex positions, with illustrations tasteful enough to read on the train without feeling too self-conscious. The positions aren’t heteronormative either, and the cartoons portray in a variety of gender combinations, so that’s cool. The issue is, close to none of these positions are actually viable, so it’s not very useful if you actually want tips. "Slide Right In," for instance, is a lap-sitting position which involves going down a slippery-dip. The app has a share function and favourites button, but they don’t work, and if you try to use them, the app crashes. Plus it’s $1.49, for what is essentially a tiresome joke about impossible sex positions. There aren’t even any instructions for how to carry them out, and I feel like relatively comprehensive instruction is pretty important for experimental positions; otherwise you'll just bungle them and kill the mood. If this app were free, I’d be fine with its sub-par functionality and utter uselessness, but it isn’t. The free sex apps are all useless too though. Just Google new positions and you’ll be sweet. Or watch loads of porn – your call.

I’ve never really been a Pokémon fan, but the launch of the new Pokemon GO app was a huge hit with new and veteran players, so I gave it a chance. The biggest feature of the game is the use of augmented reality, which allows your phone to overlay elements of the game with your real-life surroundings. It’s pretty impressive. The game also forces you to leave the comfort of your own home and explore the world outside in order to find and catch new Pokémon. Rewards are offered for discovering certain buildings and landmarks, and once you reach level five, you can join a team at your local “gym” to battle against other players. If tracking your steps with a FitBit or similar device doesn’t appeal to you, Pokémon GO is a great incentive to get active. Even as a Pokémon rookie, I was dashing around to try and catch all sorts of Pokémon. At the moment, it’s a fairly simple game. While the location feature is a great initiative, it doesn’t work well in rural areas, where there are few to no PokéStops. The app also suffers from frequent server crashes. If you thought your phone’s battery life was already terrible, prepare to chew through your battery like never before. All in all, Pokémon GO is sure to engage new and veteran players alike.

Free REVIEW II SARAH HARRIS

$1.49 REVIEW II PHILLIP LEASON

3.5/5

0.5/5

DUOLINGO

SEXUAL HEALTH GUIDE Free REVIEW II PHILLIP LEASON

Free REVIEW II BENJAMIN CANT

AIDS West’s Sexual Health Guide features an array of tabs, each with comprehensive coverage of sex related information, not just STI info (although there’s plenty of that). It’s great for building an understanding of both your own body and the body of the other sex, without any of the shame that’s imbedded in asking these questions in person. It crushes plenty of myths, and makes a comforting read for anybody who’s ever had anxiety about their body or performance. On top of this, it has a regularly updated news section, with links to articles about niche studies into interesting sex-oriented medical information that’s always going to be useful to somebody. This app will give you everything you didn’t learn in your useless school sexed classes, and it’s free and ad free. 100 per cent worth downloading.

Duolingo is a free and userfriendly app that has to be the most convenient and time-efficient way for a student to learn a new language. The app teaches a variety of vocabulary and grammar activities to help you develop into a multilingual mastermind. Game mascot "Duo" assesses your language ability and then follows your individual learning curve. After consecutive days of practice you’re rewarded with incentives, like learning the clearly essential skill of flirting in your chosen language. An effectiveness study even found that 34 hours on Duolingo equates to the material covered in a whole semester of a university language subject. In saying that, the app is most effective when used in conjunction with other language learning devices. By gamifying education, Duolingo has made the experience of learning a new language addictive and fun.

5/5

4.5/5

REPEAT OFFENDERS II 49

HOROSCOPES WORDS || Phillip Leason

ARIES

Desperately trying to regain momentum at the start of a new uni semester? Invest in a velcro suit and roll down a really big hill. You’ll keep picking up debris like a giant human snowball until you’re unstoppable.

TAURUS

The winter weather is drying out your skin, and it’s hard to deal with. Don’t bother with paw paw ointment, that’s a conspiracy. You need to get real paw paws, and rub them all over your body to moisten yourself up. Be sure to leave your blinds open though, the neighbours will enjoy the show.

GEMINI

The election results weren’t in your favour, it’s your time to go on a rampage. Definitely don’t do anything violent though, just post passive agressive statuses on FB, so that the whole nation can feel your wrath.

CANCER

Remember that old guitar you have tucked away in the back of the closet? It’s time to get it back out. If you’re still unable to play it, don’t worry. Smash it and take a black and white photo of the debris, people will think you’re heaps artistic anyway.

LEO

This is your month, Leo. So, that genital piercing you’ve been umming and ahhing about? There is no better time than the present. Shout "YOLO" while you get it done to distract yourself from the pain, and make sure to keep it clean until it’s healed.

VIRGO

Don’t listen to what the doctors say about recovering from your winter sniffles, alternative medicine is the way forward. Try leech therapy or a wheatgrass enema to revitalise yourself, whichever's more appealing.

50 II REPEAT OFFENDERS

LIBRA

The moons are very much not in your favour this month. To avoid a Final Destination-style death, you'll need to wear protection. Knee pads, elbow pads, and gloves fashioned from condoms (they're very stretchy, get creative). Stay safe, you'll be clear by September.

SCORPIO

Buckets of chalk are on sale at Big W at the moment, just for you. Think about buying yourself some so you can draw chalk art on the walls of people’s houses to brighten their day. No, what? No! Don’t just draws dicks. Chalk art!

SAGITTARIUS

You've been lacking in sexual charisma over the last little while. Spice things up by licking your lips and winking at strangers, and licking strangers lips. You'll be feeling your sexy self again in no time.

CAPRICORN

I know it was hilarious to steal that sign from the church when you were drunk, but it’s been two weeks and people are starting to miss the punny proverbs on the drive to work. Give it back.

AQUARIUS

Can’t stop chewing your nails? I know the feeling. But, have you considered maybe other people want to chew your nails? We’ve all been eyeing them off. Be selfless this month and prepare a tasty fingernail-based dish for somebody you love.

PISCES

Shoot for the moon, Pisces. Even if you miss, you’ll fall to hit the ground hard enough to leave a hole shaped like your body, like Wile E. Coyote does.

GRAPESHOT QUIZ: FIND YOUR SEXUAL SPIRIT IDENTITY Multiple choice, note your answers. You’re buying a partner a gift on a $500 budget, what do you get them?

You’re picking your date up, what car do you rock up in?

A) One $500 bird. B) 500 $1 Lizards. C) I keep the money, tell them their gift is in the mail and hope they forget about it. D) An array of classy sex toys.

A) We’ll walk. B) A scooter – don’t worry about your hair, I’ve got a hairmet. C) A stretch Hummer. D) Cadillac bby.

You need to fart in front of somebody you’re sleeping with, what happens? A) Hold it. I’m more dignified than that. B) I’m physically incapable of farting. C) Fart on them against their will. Gas happens, deal with it. D) Say ‘ooh yeah’, while both of us embrace the stankiness. Your partner wakes you up saying they heard a noise in the house, what do you do? A) I get up to shrewdly investigate. B) I’m oblivious, and fall back asleep while they’re talking. C) Tell them to get the fuck up and check it for themselves if they care that much. D) Comfort them by saying, “It ain’t no thing but a chicken wing.” You’re cooking for a home dinner date, what do you make for desert? A) Rock cakes. Sultanas are a more nutritious alternative to choc-chips. B) Pudding – it’s ‘pudd’ and then ‘ding’! C) Whatever I want, I’ll eat all the desert myself anyway. D) Chocolate coated strawberries, they’re aphrodisiacs.

Mostly A) HERMIONE GRANGER

Your smarts is your big draw card, and you’re happy to settle for somebody significantly less intelligent than yourself in order to be the dominant one. You’re not afraid to spice things up or incorporate toys. A bit of the ol’ locomotor mortis and engorgio, bust out the 10¾ inch vine (dragon heartstring) and you’re good to go.

Mostly B) COSMO JULIUS COSMA

of Cosmo and Wanda from Fairly Odd Parents You have a good heart and are devoted to your other, even if you are thicker than two short planks of wood. Your life is set to revolve around your only child and you’ll do everything in your power to make them happy, regardless of the consequences. God knows what you’ll be up to when he goes to sleep

You’re going to get to it, what music do you put on? A) Bon Iver B) A mixtape of me singing karaoke versions of love song classics. C) Bon Jovi D) Barry White You’re date has drunk too much, what do you do? A) Take care of them. B) We won’t drink on a date. C) Stay sober and make the most. D) Drink to catch up. You meet a hottie at a music festival, what do you do? A) Ignore them. I’m here for the music. B) Dance vigorously in their general direction in the hope something happens. C) Take them to the VIP area, but make them pay for their own drinks. D) Offer them some of my drugs.

though.

Mostly C) GINA RINEHART

You’re morally depraved, so assumption dictates you’re probably sexually depraved as well. With a string of estranged children, your sexual pastimes include having your suitors covering you with honey and sticking some money to the honey so you’re covered in money, honey.

Mostly D) ANDRE 3000

You’re flamboyant sexual animal who everybody wants a piece of, regardless of orientation. Since you heard that mother nature is now on birth control you’re loving the smell of gasoline and the taste of apple pie. You aren’t about meeting your partner’s mummas, just making them cumma, and if they cross you you’ll wish grizzly death on them – something like crashing their car into a ditch.

REPEAT OFFENDERS II 51

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