Tom Swifties and the Adverbial Writing Craft

By Mark Dreisonstok, PM Arminius Lodge No. 25

In an era of popular series of juvenile adventure fiction—books like the Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, and Alfred Hitchcock’s Three Investigators — Tom Swift stands out as one of the most durable, having been the hero of four different book series spanning over a century. Now Tom is back, and it gives us a moment to reflect on this youthful adventurer and the word game his creators inspired, with an intriguing segue into our gentle Craft.

The last comes first: the initial series of Tom Swift books began in 1910, and the first two of these (Tom Swift and the Motorcycle and Tom Swift and the Motorboat) have been dramatized with full cast on sound recordings by the Colonial Radio Theatre on the Air and available through their website. These and later works feature the inventor as hero, with a performance of youthful exuberance by Colin Budzyna as young Swift supported by Jerry Robbins as Tom’s father Barton Swift.

Mr. Robbins, the producer and star of many audio series which have aired on Sirius XM such as Perry Mason Radio Dramas, tells the Voice of Freemasonry of how he came to produce this 2015-2016 audio series, which features John Williamslike film music (composed by Jared DePasquale) and wonderful sound effects of retro-sounding machines and engines (a vintage World War I motorcycle) for Tom Swift: “I always knew of the books, and when we were looking for something to do for a younger audience, I remembered Tom Swift and thought they would make a good audio drama series.”

As for why he chose the first series of Tom Swift books of more than 100 years ago, Jerry explains: “The earliest books were more grounded, and I liked the ‘Americana’

Tom Swift and His Motorcycle. Cover to 2015 Compact Disc, courtesy Colonial Radio Theater on the Air.

aspect of those simpler days.” For instance, when young Swift is asked in the motorcycle adventure, “Why don’t you invent an automobile or an airship?” Tom responds self-evidently, “Maybe I will someday.” There is also the Horatio Alger idea in this story of the entrepreneurship of owning machine shops, in which inventions seem as important as sales. Of course, few today would think of the motorbike as on the cusp of new technology, but 1910 was at the threshold of the American century, with many inventions which we now see as commonplace being first introduced — indeed, when “motorboats are so new that few persons will take a chance on them,” as Tom says. Tom Swift reemerged with new stories and a redesign as Tom Swift Jr. in books published between 1954 and 1971. Following the adventures of the son of the original character, the adventures moved into Space Age with young Tom Swift Jr. turning his inventor skills to experimenting with aerospace, beginning with a Tom Swift and His Flying Lab, in which Tom develops a large jet-powered aircraft capable of hovering. In Tom Swift and His Rocket Ship, he would go on to develop a rocket and eventually a deepspace exploration vehicle and space station in Tom Swift and His Outpost in Space. Later, in Tom Swift and the Visitor from Planet X, he even plays host to a space alien! If you grew up with Tom Swift, it was likely books. Indeed, our retro scifi illustration accompanying this article Tom Swift has, of course, left a mark upon A book of humorous Tom Swifties was published in 1963, which started a minor Tom Swifty craze. Indeed, Time-Life got into the act with a contest of “Time Swifties,” often with a Time Magazine theme. Here are some Swifties my father Erwin M. Dreisonstok (a member of Maryland’s Bethesda Lodge No. 204 and a frequent contributor to the District’s Arminius Bulletin in the past) submitted to Time on 10 July 1963:

“I like to take TIME out on my out-of-

through the Tom Swift Jr. Retro rocket image from Tom Swift and the Visitor from Planet X stems from this series. “I cover from the beginning till the end of town trips,” said Tom jauntily. TIME,” I said readily. our language for inspiring a kind of stylized “Some kid stuck chewing gum on my witticism within the English language: the chair,” said Tom, all Wrigley. use of an adverb ingeniously reflecting the sentence before, as in: “Go faster!” said Tom swiftly. This was a common stylistic “But I don’t like pineapple juice with my bourbon,” I sobbed Dolefully. feature of the Swift books, but goes back to Presumably at the same time, Masonicat least Dickens’ Our Mutual Friend, with themed Tom Swifties appeared in the Royal this example: “You find it very large?” said Arch Magazine’s “Did You Know?” column. Mr. Podsnap spaciously. One John R. Nocas of Signet Chapter No.

Rough and Smooth Ashlars

57, Royal Arch Masons, in Los Angeles, California, submitted several, such as “‘This is a rough ashlar,’ he said stonily. ‘And this is the perfect ashlar, he said smoothly.’”

Referencing Ecclesiastes 12: 6, Br. Nocas wrote: “‘The pitcher is broken at the fountain,’ he said in a shattered voice.” Another honorable mention is: “‘We should spread the cement of brotherly love,’ he said concretely.” The following are more obscure for the general reader, highlighting Masonic ritual:

“What kind of apron is that?” the candidate asked innocently.

“Our ancient brethren assembled in high hills,” he said loftily.

“There is none in the north,” he said darkly.

I thought this to be a humorous challenge and came up with several Tom Swifties of my own relating to Masonic-appendant and Masonic-sponsored bodies:

“I am about to join the Council,” announced the candidate for the Secret Master Degree cryptically.

“During the next Eastern Star term, I will be given the station of the biblical heroine Ruth,” she gathered.

“I am excited to join the International Order of the Rainbow for Girls!” she gushed colorfully.

And perhaps here we should introduce a Time Swifty:

“It is time to bring this article in the Voice of Freemasonry to a rapid close,” said Tom swiftly.

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