GNP Report - July 2021 by Grub and Pub Report

Ser v ing W isc o n sin , Mi nne so isco nnes ott a & B e y o n d ! Vo l . 1 8 /

JULY 2021

GRUB & PUB REPORT

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No. 7

J U LY 2 0 2 1

JULY 2021

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LET FREEDOM RING.. And the hearts of man sing, For today and forevermore, WE THE PEOPLE with the Eagle soar. Come together now, As one Nation and be proud, To continue to fight for the freedoms our ancestors wrestled for.. America our sacred ground. Dyzzi-Baker Johnson

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Some Adult Content Not Intended for Children 14 and Under!

TYPO WINNER OF THE MONTH:

June 2021 Typo Contest Winner is Matthew Kuss of Chippewa Falls, WI. He found the word (expanses) instead of (Expenses) in the Lake Hallie Sportsman’s ad on page 4. She will receive $10 in GnP Bucks. ENTER TO WIN $10 in GNP Bucks to use at any of our current advertiser locations. Thanks for reading and Congratulations! (THESE MAY TAKE UP TO 6 WEEKS TO RECEIVE) Send entries to: Dyzzi Enterprises PO Box 473 Chippewa Falls, WI 54729 or... Call - 715-456-7518 email: dyzzi42@yahoo.com TYPO CONTEST RULES: - Only typos found in advertisements are eligible for prizes. -Typos in the articles are not part of the typo contest. -Typos in ads are the only typos considered for the contest. -Everyone who finds a typo in an advertisement whether it’s the correct typo or editorial mistake, will be entered into the contest. -You can call, e-mail or mail in your answers to the typo contest. See contact information on page three. -All guesses must be turned in by the 15th of the month. (Major Holiday months by the 13th.) -One winner will be drawn from all received answers on or about the 15th of the month. -Winners will receive a $10.00 in GnP Bucks to be used at current advertiser locations only.

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TYPO CONTEST - CHIPPEWA FALLS PG You Gotta Try Mary’s HOT BEEF’s at the .... Coldest Beer Around

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DISTRACTIONS At 84 I have had a lot of detractions in my life, but the good things that happened have made all the difference. Submitted By: Kay Johnson NAME THE STATES Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, 'Yes sir, but in those days there were

DARTS - POOL GOLDEN TEE GOLF 616 N. Bridge St. Chippewa Falls, WI Phone: 715-861-5299 Happy Hour: 2-6p M-TH & ALL NASCAR RACES Bloody Mary Sundays Mon & Tues: FREE Pool (FREE Jukebox Tues.*)

Fridays & Saturdays: DJ (Karaoke on Friday Nights)

only 13 states. LIVING WILL A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a "Living Will" "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out all the beer. LOOK OUT A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The wife looks at the husband and he is staring at the ceiling above her head, she looks up and asks, "What are you staring at?" "A spider," he replies. "I don't see anything," she says. "Oh, it must have fallen on your head," he said calmly. The wife jumps up screaming... The man says, "While you're up, can you get me another beer?" NOT ENOUGH A child comes home from his first day at school. already dreaming about the next summer break. His mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?" The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow." 2

H a p p y 4 t h o f Ju l y !

Be de pendently Inde pendent this year. With freedom comes much responsibility. We can not just take freedom but instead in order to be truly free we must freely give of our time and energy as well as our resources to guarantee that everything our ancestors who fought for our freedoms and everything our service men and women and their families as well as our fellow country men and women do every day to keep our freedoms intact actually stay intact and working for us. We all have loved getting a little extra money in our pockets during this Covid pandemic that the government has given us.. back. I say this as it is our tax money or at least the taxes collected from those who are working and paying taxes that have supplied this abundance of ‘Free’ money that we all could use for whatever purposes we needed it for be it expanses or frivolities. Those who received but did not work perhaps do not understand as those that worked and paid the taxes to help us all out in this crisis that nothing is free. Eventually we will all have to pay it back in some way. I hope we all are preparing for that day. You see freedom itself is not free. It has been hard won through the very lose of lives, time with families, and limbs. Freedom has cost us and will continue to cost us but would not be as worth it if it hadn’t cost us these things. True

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appreciation comes from sacrifice and the giving before receiving. Let us remember that if we are not willing to fight for our freedoms they will one day be taken from us and perhaps due to getting ... free money from the Government. Perhaps with the loss of our right to vote, bare arms, freely express our opinions or patrice our form of religion. When we do not work and pay taxes we could be giving up those rights as we pay (or sacrifice) nothing and so therefore could be told one day we have no rights. If you enjoy your freedoms you must be willing to fight for them and you must support those who have in the past and are doing so today. Do not however fight blindly as a sheep is led to slaughter, but instead study what is truly going on in the world right now and what has gone on before. Make informed decisions about where you stand on issues and why and don’t do this just because of one thing you believe in but all the things you believe in. Be willing to let each person have their say and their vote on things without judgement but instead with open eyes and minds not always just accepting things to be ‘politically correct’ but instead to have the grace to allow each person to be free in this free world of America that we are so blessed to currently live in. For today, it is all of our right to live freely as long as we are not hurting anyone else in the process. Be a proud American and go to work.. America needs you and you.. need America.

TABLE OF C ONTENTS COVER STORY :.... N/A GAME PAGES Crossword ......................... Pg.6 Word Search..................... Pg. 28 .Curvy Word Puzzle............Pg. NA Kazuko ......................... ....Pg. NA .Sodoku Hard only...............Pg. 11 Games Answers...........Pg.29630 Answers TYPO Contest : Rules & Winners ...........Pg. 2 Directory of Advertisers ..........Pg 15 Maps of Advertisers ..Pg. 16-17 Classified Section .......Pg.NA Subscription Request...... Pg 32 ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Pg. 31 Submit Jokes, Letters, Subscription or Advertising Requests To:

GNP REPORT P.O. B ox 447 73 Chippewa Falls, WI 54729 See the GnP Report Online @ www.gnpreport.com

SAL ES & S E T U P

Call LaRaye Sly State & National Sales Representative Assistant @ 715 379 1179 laraye_05@yahoo.com

Dyzzi *Donna Johnson (Owner) 715645667518 dyzzi42@yahoo.com

Menomonie 6 Downing, Osseo, Arcadia 6 Strum, Melrose, Mindoro, Owen, Withee, Neillsville, Pray, Granton, Black River Falls Chippewa Falls & the St. Croix Valley

AREA SALES REPRESENTATIVES: Keith Ewing 6 7156 40460885 (Bloomer 6 Trego 6 Hayward) Dan Callan 6 715649568091 (Eau Claire 6 Roberts) 3

C H I P P E W A FA L L S PAG E Phone: 715-723-7822

29 E. Park Ave. Chippewa Falls, WI NEW HOURS: Mon - Fri 8 a. m. - CL Sa & Su 11 a. m. - CL Happy Hour: M-F 8am -10am & 3 pm - 6pm FAITHFUL WOMAN An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE

Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club OPEN TO PUBLIC!

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July 4th – Part Time Due 3 – 6pm *Hot Dogs provided * Pontoon Parade (call bar for time) July 18th – Two Broke Dudes 3 – 6p July 25th – Virginia Steele 3 – 7pm Check Out Our New Bucket Drink Specials for the Summer (changes monthly) FISHING CONTESTS EVERY TUESDAY 6-9pm / *Sign up before 6pm *Meat Raffle - Noon Till Gone WHEEL WEDNESDAY *Call or stop in for details

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JULY 2021

THE LORD!" Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!" Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for God to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!" The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD." The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't." The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!" GOD’S GOT JOKES A man climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai and gets close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord, "God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A minute." The man then asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replies, "A penny." Then he asks, “Can I have a penny?" The Lord replies, "In a minute."

HORSING AROUND Two guys were walking past an outdoor basketball court. "You want to play horse?" asked one guy. His friend replied, "Sure, I guess... but only if I get to be the front legs." ANIMAL FOOTBALL One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game. As the first half went along, the big animals were scoring at will. Every time they got the ball they would run it in for a touch down. Then came the second half... First play: The elephant runs the ball up the middle. WAP!! Tackled for a five yard loss. The little animals go back to the huddle cheering and congratulating each other. "Who made that tackle?" asked the ant. "I did," said the centipede. Second play: The rhinoceros runs the ball up the middle. WHOMP!! Tackled for another five yard loss. Back in the huddle the flea asked, "Who made that great stop?" "I did," said the centipede. Third play: The gorilla tries an end sweep, led by the hippo throwing the lead blocks. SMACK!! Centipede tackles him for a ten yard loss. Back in the huddle, the gnat asked the centipede, "Where were you in the first half?" The centipede replied, "Puttin' on my shoes!" Be the sparkle for someone! 4

L A K E H A L L I E PAG E BROTHERS BATTLE One day an engineer dies. He was the kind that built lots of things, like air conditioners. When he went to heaven, he met God. God says, "Go to hell, you're not on my list." So, after going 30,255,391 stairs to hell, he lets the devil know who he is and so the devil says "Hey, come on in!" In hell the engineer-built airplanes, buildings, cars, etc. God sees this and says "Hey devil, you know that engineer guy. He needs to come back to heaven." The devil says, "Are you crazy, I'm not going to let you have him." To which God says, "If you don’t let me have him, I'll sue." Devil says "You can't sue! You don’t even have lawyers up there!" AAA A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the

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guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie." FREE AS CAN BE The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. 'We live in a great country,' she announced. 'One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.' Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, 'I'm not free. I'm four.' HELP LINE When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER." I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?" THE DENTIST PATIENT As soon as the dentist asked the patient to sit down, he pulled out his wallet. Seeing this the dentist said, "Please don't, you don't need to pay me now." The patient answered: "Pay you! I just want to count my money before I'm unconscious!"

2588 Business Hwy 53 Lake Hallie, WI 715-723-0172 OPEN TO THE PUBLIC KITCHEN OPEN DAILY 11a - 2p & 4p - 9p DAILY FOOD SPECIALS,

Monday:2 for 1 burgers (starting at $8.99)

Taco Tuesday Wing Wednesday Thursday $5.99 pizza (dine in only)

Friday night fish fry DAILY DRINK SPECIALS: Mug Monday Tapper and Tequila Tuesday Wine and Whiskey Wednesday Thirsty Thursday ($2.00 rail mixers) Friday all day happy hour Saturday $2.75 Captain Morgan Sunday $3.25 Bloody Mary and $2.00 mimosas

JOIN US FOR.. KARAOKE SUNDAYS 5PM MARK YOUR CALENDER!

September 11th

BLOCK PARTY *All proceeds to benefit the Wisconsin Veteran’s Home in Chippewa Falls, WI *Chippewa Tavern League Fun Run Party (same day!) @ Eagle’s Club 5

Cross Word Puzzle

(Answers page 30)

T I L D E N PAG E

DAILY DRINK & FOOD SPECIAL FRIDAY FISH FRY 5-9PM Open Regular Hours: 11am – CL *7 Days a Week Halfway Between Hwy 124 & 53

Hwy B Tilden, WI 715-288-6303

Closed 4th of July

OLD MCDONALD Two eager athletes approach the football coach telling him they want to play on his football team. Okay says the coach, but first we have to give you a test to see if you're intelligent enough to play on my team (select your least favorite college team). They go to the classroom for the test. The first question on the test is "Old MacDonald had a ______." After a few minutes, one of the guys whispers to the other... "Hey... what did old MacDonald have?" The other guy exclaims, "You dummy! Old MacDonald had a FARM!!" "Ohh Yeah.... Okay." says the first guy. A couple of minutes later, the first guy whispers again... " Hey... how do you spell FARM?" "Oh c'mon you dummy. Don't you remember the song? THE BRELLA INVENTOR The inventor of the umbrella was originally going to call it brella... But he hesitated, Thinking.. Um?

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CHIPPEWA LAKE HALLIE PAGE THE 4TH JULY PICNIC A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at Albuquerque's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. 'This baked ham is really delicious,' the priest teased the rabbi. 'You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden. You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Warren's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?' The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, 'At your wedding.' WRONG WISH One day a man was walking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss." So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appeared in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account. For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lamborghini, Ferrari and Porsche appeared. At the same

JULY 2021

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10327 County Hwy X, Chippewa Falls, WI 54729 time two of each car appeared outside of his boss' house. Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully," and to this the man replied, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

STOP DRINKING My doctor has advised me to stop drinking. It's going to be a massive change for me. I've been with that doctor for 15 years.

S L I M ’ S Lake Hallie TAVERN 1979 Cty Hwy OO Chippewa Falls, WI 715-832-9303

OPEN 7am-CL EVERY DAY! Daily Food Drink En&jo y.. Specials Good S**Get piriYour ts, FLunch ood/Dinner & FuPunch n! Card! BREAKFAST AVAILABLE EVERY DAY! MON: Hot Beef Sandwich w/ chips or Hot Beef Plate

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*TUES: TACOS w/ Potato Rounds *WED: Broasted JUMBO Chicken Wings & Chicken Paddle Wings w/ Choice of Sauce Meat Raffles Special: $1.50 *Dom Beers & $2 rails THURS: GYRO w/FF FRI: WALLEYE or PERCH Fish Dinner KARAOKE every Thursday and Saturday Save August 21st for the Slim's Annual Bike Ride

Pool Tournaments Every Other Saturday! 7

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Happy Hour:

M-F 10a-6p & Sat 3-6pm

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BALD EAGLE FACTS 1. Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, and Thomas Jefferson served on the committee that picked the eagle for the national seal [Franklin wanted the turkey]. 2. Bald eagles have few natural enemies and live only in North America. 3. Bald eagles get their white head and tail feathers about 4/5 years of age. 4. Bald eagles are not, and never were bald. The term comes from when "bald" meant "white-headed". 5. Their maximum speed: 40 mph or over 100 mph while in a dive. 6. They can lift roughly half their body weight. 7. The Bald Eagle is no longer considered endangered, and now only threatened. 8. The only other kind of eagle in North America is the golden eagle. 9. Bald eagles mate for life, but if one dies, the survivor will accept a new mate. 10. It is a felony to shoot an eagle. WHAT WAS THAT An elderly man thinks his wife is losing her hearing so he calls their doctor. The doctor tells him "We need to figure out how bad her

hearing is. Using a normal tone, talk to her at various distances until she can hear you." That night the man decides to try this. He estimates he is sitting about 30 feet from his wife and asks her, "What's for dinner?" He hears nothing so he moves a little closer; about 20 feet away. He asks her again, "What's for dinner?" Still nothing. Finally, he gets right next to her and asks, "What's for dinner?" She finally hears him and responds "For the third time, chicken!" STINKY VISIT A little elderly lady goes to the doctor because she has been having a problem. She tells him "Doctor, lately I have been farting almost constantly. They don't bother me much because they don't smell or make noise, but it is still annoying. I've farted a hundred times since I got here, I bet you didn't know."

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E AU C L A I R E PAG E The doctor sends her home with some pills and she returns a week later. Angrily she tells him "Doctor! These pills you gave me have made my gas smell terrible. I don't want to take them anymore!" The doctor smiles and replies "Great. Now that we have cleared your sinuses we can take care of that hearing problem." TRUE MOTHER-IN-LAW Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they argued before the King until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall cut the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to cut him in two!" exclaimed the king's advisor. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law." Fireworks are fun.. but also dangerous.. Be sure to watch children around them carefully!

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f-f-fell on his f-f-f-f-face."

FAITH HEALER A faith healer visits a small town. During his healing session a man with crutches approaches him, "Ever since I was a boy I couldn't walk without these, can you heal me?" The healer yells back, "All that believe will receive! Go behind the curtain." Another man approaches him, "F-f-f-fix my st-st-st-stutter?" The healer yells back, "All that believe will receive! Go behind the curtain." The healer starts praying and yells, "Drop your crutches!" He continues to pray and yells, "Now tell us in a clear voice, how do you feel?" The man replies, "The f-f-fricker

MAYBERRY HAPPINESS The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet is because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara, and of course, Opie -- all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk. MYSTERY OF WOMEN The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that 'Won Ton' spelled backward is 'Not Now'. Know whose lightening YOUR fireworks!

VFW POST 7232 2900 W. Folsom St. Eau Claire, WI (715) 832- 3528 *Open To Public Facebook.com/VFW Post 7232 Folsom Street HAPPY HOUR: MONDAY - FRIDAY 4 - 6PM

DINE IN OR CARRY OUT SERVING FOOD FROM 7AM TO 8PM * 7 DAYS A WEEK

FRIDAY FISH FRY Choice of Perch & Cod, Shrimp or Chicken strips, Cheesy hashbrown, Baked potato, Joe-jo, French fries, Coleslaw, Cottage cheese Only $9.00 / Walleye $11:00

BREAKFAST SERVED 7a.m. - Noon

LUNCH & DINNER Noon - 8 p.m.

Offering a variety of Daily Specials See Our Facebook Page for Upcoming Entertainment

WIFI AVAILABLE HERE

Check our FB Page for entertainment! 9

EAU CLAIRE PAGE

ESCAPED PSYCHIC A vertically challenged psychic was arrested one day. He escaped from jail and the newspaper headline read, "SMALL MEDIUM AT-LARGE."

BLESS YOU Mrs. Whyte, his teacher advises the class that each school day starts with the "Pledge of Allegiance" and instructs them to put their right hand over their heart and repeat after her. As Mrs. Whyte starts the recitation she looks around the room, 'I pledge allegiance to the flag........', when her eyes are drawn to Andy who had his hand over the right cheek of his bottom. 'Andy, I cannot continue till you put your hand over your heart,' she demands. Andy looks up and replies, 'It is over my heart.' After several more attempts to get Andy to put his hand over his heart, Mrs. Whyte enquires, 'Why do you think that is your heart, Andy?' 'Well Miss,' answers Andy,

VFW POST 305

1300 Starr Ave. Eau Claire, WI 715-552-8438 Breakfast: 7a - 11a / Lunch: Mon - Fri 11a-1p Daily Drink Specials & Happy Hour: Mon - Fri: 7a-10a & 3-6p

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

Tues. Burger Night - 2 for $12 from 3p-7p Wed. Wing Night - a pound of wings & pint of beer for $10 3p-7p Every Thurs. Chef's Special Friday Fish Fry 5p - 8p 2 pieces of fish, choice of potato, & cole slaw or cottage cheese for $9.00 (Fish can be substituted for 10 pieces of Shrimp)

Fridays: Karaoke 9p - 1a Sundays: Oldies Show @2:30p - 6:30p *Bands returning in September JULY 2021

'because every time my Grandma comes to visit she pats me there and says, "Bless your little heart," and my Grandma never lies.' INTERVIEW Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it." BLACK EYES A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye." "Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked. "Well," the man said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in." 10

E AU C L A I R E PAG E LOVE AND CHERISH A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She ran up to him with tears in her eyes. 'Darling, how I've missed you!' The husband extends his arms stopping her from embracing him and says, 'Whoa there woman, the contract was until death!' DURING SELF-ISOLATION Dogs: "Oh my goodness, you're here all day and this is the best as I can love you, see you, be with you and follow you! I am so excited because you are the greatest and I love you being here so much! Cats: "What are you still doing here?"

GIROLAMO’S COURT’n HOUSE HOURS:

Mon - Wed: 10am-10pm / Thurs & Fri: 10am-12am / Sat:11am-12am / Sun 4pm-9pm (or 1 hour before packer games either at 11am or 2:30pm) Closed sat July 3- mon July 5 Check out our patio: open daily until 10pm *All NEW summer cocktail menu *20 rotating summer beers 113 W. Grand Ave. Eau Claire, WI 715-832-5478 minutes ago." OPERATION CHECK Doctor: "Would you have the money if I said you needed an operation?" Patient: "Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn't have the money?"

MONEY PILLOW "I wonder why old man Smith puts all his savings under his pillow every night?" "Maybe he wants people to know that he has enough money to retire on? GIVE UP READING Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? Answer: Well it’s a long story.

GOD OR BAD A man comes to the entrance of Heaven and is told, "You haven't done anything good, but you haven't done anything bad either. If you can tell me of something amazing you have done, I will let you in." The man replies, "Well, one time I was driving down the road and I saw some gang members threatening a young lady in an alleyway. I stopped and confronted them. I walked up to the biggest looking dude and slapped him and said, 'You need to leave this young lady alone, or I'm going to kick your ass!'" The man at the entrance to heaven asked him, "When did this happen?" The guy replies, "About five

JULY 2021

Open at 5am 365 Days A Year!

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FOSTER BAR Open Daily 11am to 2am WE'VE BEEN HERE SINCE 1976! Homemade Pizzas Fresh 1/3# Burgers Cheese Curds Happy Hour: 3:30pm to 6:30pm S12800 US HWY 53 Foster, Wisconsin 54758 Phone (715) 597-6627 HOURS: SUN: 8am - 10pm MON: CLOSED TUE-THUR 7a - 2a FRI & SA 7a - 2:30a Senior Specials Only $5 DAILY DELIVERY OPTIONS JULY ENTERTAINMENT: July 11 – Fundraiser Day *Bags at 12 / *Bingo @ 2 July 23 – 25th – UFO Days Kick Off Party July 22nd w/Patio Music by: Part-Time Duo 5 – 8pm 24 – Bean Bag Tournament (Sign Up 12p) 25th – Muisc by Bear Creek (after Parade)

715-639-5000 109 N. Main St. Elmwood, WI

JULY 2021

EAU CLAIRE - ELMWOOD - SPRING VALLEY PG WATCH MY CAR A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. But it's all right. I'll trust you anyway." CAR OR HAIRCUT A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and enquired of his father, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car." Well, the boy thought about that for a moment, and settled for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks they went into the study, where his father said, "Son, I've been really proud. You've brought your grades up, and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible and participating a lot more in the Bible study groups. But I'm real disappointed, since you haven't gotten your hair cut." The young man paused a moment, and then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there's even a strong

argument that Jesus had long hair also." To this his father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?" WHAT’S THIS The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks, "What's this?" "A horsy," one child answers. "And this?" the teacher asks. "A piggy," replies another youngster." And now this one?" asks the teacher, holding up a picture of a male deer with a beautiful rack of antlers. There was no answer, only total silence. "Come now, children," she coaxes, "I'll give you a little hint". What does your Mommy call your Daddy when he hugs and kisses her a lot? "I know! I know!!" exclaims one little girl, "It's a horny bastard!" NOT TONIGHT ADAM After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes, Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?" The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who then took Eve by the hand and led her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you, Lord. That was enjoyable." And the Lord replied, "Yes, Adam, I thought you might enjoy that. Now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is 'caress'?" So the Lord again gave Adam a 12

brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss!" And the Lord said, "You've done well, Adam. Now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?" So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds. And Adam said, "Lord, what is a 'headache'?" GUARDIAN ANGEL A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the

ST. CROIX VALLEY PAGE

715-749-3891 112 W. Main St. Roberts, WI ‘Where Good Neighbors Meet’

voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked... "And where the hell were you when I got married?" HIS LIKES Him: Why did you put on these high-heel shoes? It seems so inconvenient for you to walk. Her: I thought you liked tall girls. Him: I like clever girls. Her: That's why I've put on the glasses... MONEY PILLOW "I wonder why old man Smith puts all his savings under his pillow every night?" "Maybe he wants people to know that he has enough money to retire on? SAD POINT OF VIEW And your cry baby whinny opinion would be...? This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. I started out with nothing and still

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have most of it left. A SHOT OF WHISKEY A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket. He does this over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket. The man said, "I have a picture of my wife, and when she looked good then I’ll go home."

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B LO O M E R - L A S V E G A S PAG E MEXICAN GENIE A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican is stunned. The Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want." The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila." Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila." The Genie grants him his wish. When the Mexican gets home, he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear...looks like tequila. Then smells the liquid...smells like tequila. So he takes a taste, and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted. The Mexican yells to his wife, "Consuelo, Consuelo, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall, and the Mexican takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her to drink it. It is tequila. Consuelo is reluctant but goes

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JULY 2021

ADVERTISER MAP DIRECTORY (Map on Pages 16 & 17) MAP PG # , AREA, ADVERTISER NAME CHIPPEWA FALLS 1 7 9 12 14 16 20

AD PG #

1ST & GOAL SALOON SCHUETZY'S TAVERN DALE & MARY'S RITZ ON THE RIVER THE EDGE PUB & EATERY WANDER INN BRESINA'S BAR & RESTAURANT ROOKIES PUB

ADDRESS

PHONE / WEBSITE

4 NA NA N/A 2 6 2

29 E. PARK AVE. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI 18985 CO. HWY J., CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI 114 W. RIVER ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI 9504 COUNTY HWY S., CHIPPEWA FALL WI 6020 CTY RD X CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI HWY B TILDEN, WI 616 N BRIDGE ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI

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5 4 7

2588 U.S. HWY 53 LAKE HALLIE, WI 2910 109TH ST. CHIPPEWA FALLS, WI Y1979 CTY. HWY 00, CHIPPEWA FALLS WI

(715) 723-0172 (715) 726-1050 (715) 832-9303

1801 E. TROPICANA, LAS VEGAS NEVADA

11 8 8 10 9 8

113 W. GRAND AVE. EAU CLAIRE, WI 2233 BIRCH ST., EAU CLAIRE, WI 2339 SPOONER AVE. ALTOONA, WI 1300 STARR AVE, EAU CLAIRE, WI 2900 W. FOLSOM ST, EAU CLAIRE, WI 228 DIVISION STREET, ALTOONA, WI

(715) 832-5478 (715) 832-6227 (715) 832-4120 (715) 552-8438 (715) 832-3528 (715) 552-5526

23 2 22 23 21

#6 BOON BLVD. NEILLSVILLE, WI 16488 CTH H STANLEY, WI 215 S. MAIN ST., GREENWOOD, WI 602 DIVISION ST, WITHEE, WI 143 E 1ST AVE, STANLEY, WI

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LAKE HALLIE 1 EAGLES CLUB AERIE 2213 3 LAKE HALLIE SPORTSMAN’S CLUB 6 TIM'S SLIM'S LAKE HALLIE TAVERN OUT OF STATE 1 RUM RUNNER (MAIN LOCATION) EAU CLAIRE/ALTOONA/FOSTER AREA MAP 2 GIROLAMO’S COURT N’ HOUSE 3 BRICK HOUSE 5 ROLLY’S COACH CLUB 8 VFW POST 305 11 VFW POST 7232 14 GOLDEN SPIKE EAST CENTRAL 2 NEILLSVILLE AMERICAN LEGION 4 OTTER LAKE BAIT 7 FUNTE'S BAR & GRILL 16 MIDWAY BAR 27 KELLY GRILL

ARCADIA / ELMWOOD / ROBERTS / SPRING VALLEY 3 UP-CHUCK'S 4 CORRAL/ RIVERSIDE 8 SIDETRACKS SALOON & GRILL 14 KERNS KURBSIDE BAR & GRILL 19 RIVERVIEW LANES 21 UNCLE SAMS SOUTHERN AREA 1 BEV’S SADDLE MOUND TAP 2 BACK ROADS SALOON 4 SUNSET TAVERN 7 CORNER PUB 8 DWYER'S MY SECOND HOME 10 RUMORS 11 THE BLOCK HOUSE 16 JC’S PIZZA & PUB 17 BURR OAK AUTO BODY 19 THE WRIGHT PLACE 20 RUSTIC HAVEN BAR & GRILLE 22 BJ'S AIRPORT BAR & GRILL NORTHERN AREA 4 R-BAR & RED PINES CAMPGROUND 5 BIRCHWOOD AMERICAN LEGION 6 THE RUT 9 HOOT'S ON THE WATER 20 SHADY CAMPGROUND POOR FOLKS SALOON 24 LINCOLNWOOD RESORT BAR AND GRILL 31 WAGON WHEEL ST. CROIX 1 B & L LIQUOR STORE 5 THE BUNGALOW INN 6 THE VILLAGE INN SPORTS BAR & GRILL HOLCOMBE 4 TJ'S TIMBERLINE 7 ENWOOD GOLF COURSE 16 5TH QUARTER BAR

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24 12 18 12 24 24

120 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA, WI 54612 W4570 US HWY 10 DURAND, WI 112 W. MAIN ST., ROBERTS, WI 54023 109 N. MAIN ST., ELMWOOD, WI 634 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA WI 309 W. MAIN ST., ARCADIA, WI

N/A 22 28 29 25 N/A 27 26 27 NA N/A 29

N 8376 PRAY RD, PITTSVILLE, WI (IN PRAY) N8395 PRAY ROAD, PITTSVILLE, WI N5890 HWY 54 BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI 22833 N. MAIN ST. ETTRICK, WI 13272 MAIN ST., PIGEON FALLS, WI N9261 ST. HWY 108, MINDORO, WI N2098 SANDBERG RD., MELROSE, WI N378 ST HWY 108 MELROSE, WI W2606 DAVIS CREEK RD., MELROSE, WI 44 EAST MAIN ST., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI W15683 ST. HWY 121, HIXTON, WI W9944 AIRPORT RD., BLACK RIVER FALLS, WI

N/A 19 18 19 19 19 18

(608) 323-9907 (7150672-8874 www.corralbarandriversidegrill.com (715) 749-3891 www.sidetracksaloon.com (715) 639-5000 (608) 323-7005 (608) 323-7USA (7872) (715) 884-7355 (715) 884-2036 (715) 284-9345 (608) 525-4863 (715) 983-5664 (608) 857-3436 (608) 488-4600 (608) 488-2228 (608) 857-3880 (715) 670-0004 (715) 984-2519 (715) 284-4080

1190-25TH ST. CAMERON, WI (715) 859-6556 504 N CTY HWY F - BIRCHWOOD, WI 715-354-7877 www.birchwoodamericanlegionpost379.org N705 COUNTY RD M, COUNTY ROAD D, SARONA, WI (715) 354-3250 2091 22 1/2 AVE., RICE LAKE, WI (715) 475-1300 2883 17-3/4TH ST., RICE LAKE, WI (715) 234-7339 www.shadyrest@centurytel.net N1075 EAST SIDE RD., BIRCHWOOD, WI (715) 354-3533 www.lincolnwoodresort.com MAIN ST., BRILL, WI (715) 234-1823

13 13 183

1369 MAIN ST., HOULTON, WI 1151 RIVERCREST RD N, LAKELAND, MN 723 - 6TH ST. N., HWY. 35 HUDSON, WI

(715) 549-6589 (651) 436-5005 (715) 386-2205

21 N/A 20

1189 N. POTATO LAKE, CHETEK, WI 28135 290TH AVE., HOLCOMBE, WI 108 W. MINER AVE., LADYSMITH, WI

(715) 353-2238 (715) 595-4035 (715) 532-7757

17 18

Elmwood

ing

Durand

170

D BB

170

Augusta

Boyd

Mondovi

94 12

3rd Ave.

4th Ave.

20 5

t Elm S

124

124 29

Owen

Curtiss

121

G 20

Blair

Burr Oak

Reedsburg

Baraboo

Humbird

4 19 12

Spring Green

Black River Falls

Melrose

Alma Center

Fairchild

155

Northfield

Pigeon Falls

Jim Falls

Osseo

178

Tony

Cornell

Ladysmith

Ettrick

Mindoro

124

Riplinger

40th Ave.

Loyal

Greenwood

Bruce

Withee

Bloomer

Neillsville Boon Blvd. 2

23 Ave. Grand 19 l Ave Centra Chippewa Falls

Osseo

Merrillan

Thorp

M N

Humbird

Independence

Fairchild

Rock Dam

Arcadia

Stanley

Colfax

Dallas

Menomonie 22 25

Eau Galle

72 D

Bo yc ev ille

Tilden 100th Ave.

Wilson

Do wn

Glenwood City

Cadott

Brill

Rice Lake 25

Chetek Barron Cameron 53

Spooner

Main St.

123

Pittsville

Pray Rd.

. E. Clairemont Ave

Madison St.

Hard ing A ve.

WI Dells Broadway

Pray

Folsom St.

Mondovi

Cornell

1 18

30th Ave

Golf Rd.

Eau Claire

Bus.

312 Bypass

Melby St.

Sheldon

Gilman

Hudson

Augusta

Bayport

Fall Creek

Wabasha, MN

27 Holcombe

Conrath

Houlton

Ladysmith

5 Spooner Ave.

Lake Hallie

- 53 Bus

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Osseo

ve. th A

100th Ave.

Spring Valley

Hudson

Fall Creek

Hammond Woodville Hersey

Ellsworth

Bayport, MN

Jim Falls

Webb Lake

250th St.

130

90th St.

Rudolph Rd.

Pearl St

10th St. W

Can al S t. Park Ave.

109th St.

3rd St.

110th St.

th S

Starr Ave

270

BRILL - RICE LAKE - SARONA PAGE

FORGETFUL DUO There were two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of 'careful consideration', she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will." The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you

would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?" He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me." FINAL EXAM A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.' DOCTOR, DOCTOR JOKES Doctor, doctor I think I'm suffering from Déjà Vu! • Didn't I see you yesterday? OPEN DAILY @ 10am SERVING FOOD DAILY 10A-10P

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PASTOR VS HYMM A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind." The pastor shouted out, "Cross!" Immediately the congregation started singing, in unison, "The Old Rugged Cross." The pastor hollered out, "Grace!" The congregation began to sing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound..." The pastor said, "Power." The congregation sang "There Is Power in the Blood." The Pastor said, "Sex." The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing "Precious Memories."

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B I RC H WO O D - L I N C O L N WO O D - R I C E L A K E PAG E SARCASTIC FIXER (These fixes are NOT real) 1.If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of really hot water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache. 8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

BIRCHWOOD AMERICAN LEGION Open: Tues - Sun Wednesdays @ 2pm (2-4-1 Drinks 4 - 6p) Stop In & Enjoy (In-House) Made Pizza!

504 N County Hwy F - Birchwood, WI Phone: 715-354-7877 www.birchwoodamericanlegionpost379.org 9. AND Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape. 10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! 11. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan. BUILD ME A BRIDGE A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head, and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.

“The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says, ‘nothing's wrong,’ and how I can make a woman truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

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JULY 2021

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STANLEY - HOLCOMBE - LADYSMITH PG

108 W. Miner Ave. Ladysmith, WI 715-532-7757 Happy Hour: M-F 3-6pm ‘Hometown Bar for All’

SIMPLE MURDER A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks, "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" The lady says, "To kill my husband." "I can't sell you any for that reason," says the druggist. The lady then reaches into her

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purse and pulls out a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position, the man is her husband, and the lady is the druggist's wife, and shows it to the druggist. He looks at the photo and says, "Oh I didn't know you had a prescription!" SMART BLONDE A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, b,

c, d, e, f, g!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, Honey, it's because you're 25." SILENT BOMB An elderly couple were in church. The wife leaned over and whispered to her husband, "I just let out a long silent fart... what should I do?" The husband replied, "Replace the

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PHONE # (715) 667-3434 20

batteries in your hearing aid." IRISH BLONDE An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching." MORAL OF THE STORY: Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, ..... but all men...are men! GLOBAL FACTS ABOUT SEX FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now. FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing. FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex. FACT: 1 old person is reading emails. You hang in there, sunshine! Sent in by DJ Jerry Torkelson Make Love Your Fireworks!

JULY 2021

CHETEK - PRAY PAGE

Open: Mon - Fri 3pm - CL and Sat - Sun 11am - CL Resort, Cabins, Camping / ATM Available! www.tjtimberline.com 715-353-2238 1189 N. Potato Lk. Chetek WI (On North side of Potato Lake) ADVICE FROM CHILDREN 1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer him.and never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, 13 6. Don't squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13 7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. - Emily, 10 8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. - Taylia, 11 9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14 10. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9 11. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk-Armir, 9 12. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9 13. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10 14. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Alyesha, 13 15. Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8

HEADSTONE REDO A new widow requested the epitaph "Rest in ace" for her husband's tombstone. When she later found he had left his fortune to his mistress, she attempted to get the engraver to change the carving. This was impossible; the words were chiseled and could not be changed. "In that case," she said, "please add Until We Meet Again." MOUSE JOKES What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache! Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!

Home-made FULL Menu! *Breakfast & Lunch Daily Bar Open: Tues thru Sat @ 6am Sun 8a -1p / *Closed Mondays

Kitchen Hours: Tue -Sat 6a - 2p & Sun 8a – 1p Sorry.. Closed 4th of July!

143 E 1st Ave, Stanley, WI (715) 709-0160 https://kellygrill.com Like us on FACEBOOK & Instagram!

G R E E N W O O D - P R AY - W I T H E E P G OPEN EVERY DAY Mon 2pm - Cl & Tue - Su 10a - CL HAPPY HOUR: M, T, & TH 50 cent pull tabs (2 Win $$) plus.. Wed & Fri during... DOUBLE BUBBLE 5-6PM Serving Hamburgers & Appetizers Phone: (715) 229-4327 602 Division St, Withee, WI WHERE YA FROM A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir," the usher said, "if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up

N8395 Pray Road Pittsville, WI (In Town of PRAY) (715) 884-2036

OPEN DAILY: 11a - CL JOIN US.. July 3rd: DJ/Karaoke w/Mad Dog 2pm – Midnight *Bean Bag Tournament Double Elimination / $10 per team *Sign up 11:30am Starts @ Noon SIDE BY SIDE RAFFLE.. Raffle held on Sept 5, 2021 Tickets $20.00 each Only 1,600 tickets sold! WELCOME BACK TRAIL RIDERS!

JULY 2021

the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked. And with pain in his voice, Sam replied, "The balcony." LUMBERJACK WANTED A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man. "Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take your axe and go cut it down." The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the man. The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?" "In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.

"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack. The little man laughed and answered back, "Sure, that's what they call it NOW!" LIAR’S DATA A noted sex therapist realizes that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devises a test to tell for certain how often someone has sex. To prove his theory, he fills up an auditorium with people and goes down the line, asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist is able to guess accurately until he comes to the last man in line, who is grinning from ear to ear. "Twice a day," the therapist guesses, but is surprised when the man says no. "Once a day, then?" Again, the answer is no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No."

FUNTE’S

BAR & GRILL

215 S. Main St. Greenwood, WI 715-267-7599

Join Us For..Wraps, Salads, Burgers, Specialty Burgers & Homemade Pizza HAPPY HOUR: Tues - Fri 3-6p HOURS: Tues - Fri: 11-CL, Sat: 12p - CL, Sorry Closed Mondays

N E I L L S V I L L E PAG E The man finally says yes when the doctor gets to "once a year." The therapist is angry that his theory isn't working, and asks the man, "What are you so happy about?" The man answers, "Tonight's the night!" PREGNANT CONTAGION A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked that was the problem, she responded, "Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my nipples get hard." Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath, then asked, "Your nipples get hard?" "Yes" quite innocently came her

JOIN US.. OPEN TO THE PUBLIC BAR HOURS: 2nd Monday 4-10p Wednesday 11a-1p Thursday 4 -10p Friday 4 - 10p

reply. "Undress so I can check" replied the still amazed doc. So, she undressed, and he got down to the feeling and massaging, trying to reach an answer. After some considerable time, the doctor, still looked puzzled, said, "Well madame, I don't know what you have, but it sure as hell is contagious!" A BREATH OF FRESH AIR A truck loaded with Vick’s VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.

BLONDE ACCIDENT Jim was annoyed when his blonde wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn't gotten the license number. "What kind of car was he driving?" he asked. "I don't know," she said. "I never can tell one car from another." At that, Jim decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make. It worked. About a week later she bounded in with a pleased expression on her face. "Darling," she said. "I hit a Buick!"

American Legion Post #73 #6 Boon Blvd. Neillsville, WI (Just off Hwy 10) Phone: 715-743-3859

Website: www.neillsvillelegion.org Like Us on Facebook: American Legion Post 73, Neillsville, WI USA

2nd Monday Steak Feeds Every Wednesday 1100-1300 Steak Sandwich Special Friday Nite Legion Dinner w/Hooves, Beaks, Scales & Tails 1700-2000

Email: neillsvillelegion@gmail.com

UPDATES ON FACEBOOK

Large & Small Banquet & Meeting Rms Available for Meetings & Parties

BOOK YOUR 2021 EVENT AT THE LEGION!

Check it out...Drink Cards Get a punch your 2nd - 8th drinks and get your 9th drink free!

JULY 2021

WEEKLY SPECIALS:

MONTHLY MEETING DATES -Legion & Ladies Auxiliary 1st Monday 7pm

A R C A D I A PA G E

Now Open: 4pm - 9pm Tuesday - Saturday CLOSED MONDAYS.. THRU SUMMER

DID YOU EVER WONDER Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? If people from Poland are called 'Poles' why aren't people from Holland called 'Holes?' Why do we say something is out of whack? What's in whack? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing nightgowns? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, 'A penny for your thoughts,' and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with! When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as '4's?' Why is it that if someone tells you

UNCLE SAM’S OF ARCADIA MARK YOUR CALENDAR and JOIN US...

10th ANNUAL WOUNDED VETERANS RIDE AUGUST 21st, 2021

Reg. 8 -10:30am / Kick Stands Up @ 11am *All proceeds to benefit Veterans suffering from PTSD *Locally *Call Skip for more details at the bar PARTY BUS RENTALS AVAILABLE @ UNCLE SAM’S

Join Us at Uncle Sam’s this year! HOURS: Tues - Thur: 11 am - CL / Fri: 6 am - CL Sat: 10 am - CL / Sun: 6 am - CL 309 W. Main St. Arcadia, WI JULY 2021

(608) 323-7USA (7872)

that there are 1 billion stars in the universe, you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you will have to touch it to be sure? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men? I was thinking how people seem to read the Bible more as they get older, then it dawned on me . . . they're cramming for their final exam. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them!? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail!? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? You never really learn to swear

UPCHUC K

120 W. Main St. Arcadia, WI (608) 323-9907 OPEN: M-Th Noon - 2am F & Sa 10am - 2:30am Sun 10am - 2am DAILY DRINK SPECIALS DJ Music: Th, Fri, & Sa 9-Cl (Safe Rides Available) 24

until you learn to drive. No one ever says 'It's only a game' when their team is winning. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? If a cow laughed, would milk come out its nose? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? OVER THINKERS -I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. -If I throw a stick, will you leave? -If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats. -Does your train of thought have a caboose? -Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. -Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. -Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them. -Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. -See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil. -Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. -A woman's favorite position is CEO. -I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. -A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. -Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. -Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1? -I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

JULY 2021

P I G E O N FA L L S PAG E Too many freaks, not enough circuses. -Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong. -Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? -Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done. -I plead contemporary insanity. -How do I set a laser printer to stun? -Meandering to a different drummer. -I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go? GROWING TOMATOES A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much." Dwyer’s ‘My

Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best. One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?" “No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous." ESCAPED PSYCHIC A vertically challenged psychic was arrested one day. He escaped from jail and the newspaper headline read, "SMALL MEDIUM AT-LARGE." REMOTE CONTROL The clerk asked me, "Cash, check or charge?" after ringing up my purchase. As I fumbled through my wallet, she noticed a remote control for a television set in my purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote when you go shopping?" she asked. "No," I replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the best way to get even with him!"

Second Home’ Bar & Grill

13272 Main St. Pigeon Falls, WI

715-983-5664

NOW Serving WALLEYE on FRIDAY NIGHTS Along with our Regular Fish and Shrimp and Dinners!

All theUsshrimp you can eat. Join On Wednesdays... EnjoyWednesday All the SHRIMP 5pm to(59pm. 8.99.$8.99 U-Can-Eat to 9pm) HOURS: Opening at 7:30 am Mon - Fri and 8 am Sat & Sun

*Breakfast Served Daily *Mon - Fri: Lunch Specials Wishing everyone a Happy and Safe 4th We will be closed Saturday thru Monday 3rd, 4th and 5th. Having a Family Holiday together. 25

ONLY ONCE A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors, and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So, she continues upward. The third-floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

M E L R O S E PAG E She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

JC’s Pizza & Pub OPEN Wednesday thru Sat. 4p to CL

CARRY OUT & DINE IN AVAILABLE JOIN US FOR.. FRIDAY FISH FRY ! HAPPY FATHER’S DAY Phone: 608-488-2228 3 miles South of Melrose on @ N378 St Hwy 108 JULY 2021

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited. WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (The actual AP headline) Linda B., 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked, and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her 26

BU R R OA K - M E L RO S E - N O RT H B E N D PAG E aid. And, yes, Linda is a blonde. COMMON SENSE It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?" Freedom comes only through the fight of those who care!

Burr Oak Auto Body & Detailing *Auto Body Repair & Refinishing We Handle Insurance Claims *Restoration of Classic Cars & Trucks * Plus.. Fiberglass Restoration Call Greg or Billy Fremstad ICAR Training 1-608-857-3880 ASE Certified W2606 Davis Creek Rd. Melrose, WI (Burr Oak) GRADUATION SPEECH When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text. 'I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life,' he told the audience. 'She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice.' At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause, he looked up with a sly grin and said, 'Sorry, but it's really hard to read my mother's handwriting.' Serving Breakfast & Lunch Sat - Sun 7am-1pm

BLOCK HOUSE BAR N2098 Sanberg Rd Melrose, WI

608-488-4600

Join us..

Wed & Thur $2.00 Dom & Rail ALL DAY! Karaoke 1st & 3rd Sundays with Coleman starts @ 2pm!

JULY 2021

(608) 488-2730

N621 North Bend Dr. Downtown North Bend, WI

DAAAAD A small boy is sent to bed by his father. five minutes later:"Da..aaad" "What" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Daa....aaad..." "WHAT!?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?" I told you NO! Ask again I'll have to spank you!" Five minutes later, "Daaaa.... aaaad! When you come up to spank me can you bring a drink of water?"

Serving Snacks, Burgers & Homemade Pizza

(608) 488-5823

N625 North Bend Dr. Downtown North Bend, WI

FREDDIE’S & OVERFLOW PRESENTS... SUMMER MUSIC ON THE PORCH June 26: Blondie Blues July 3: Joe Cody is back to .. Kick off the 4th! July 10: Jon and Jamin July 17: Matt Sayles National Touring Artist

July 24: Carmen and Company July 31: Josh White (Singer -Songwriter) Aug 7: - Joe Cody Aug 14: - Anderson Road Great Local Artists Aug 21: Kaiged Acoustic returns 27

J U N E E N T E R TA I N M E N T

KARAOKE 1st and 3rd Friday

Phone # 715-284-9345

Open Sun - Thurs 10a-2a Fri & Sat 10a - 2:30a

JOIN US: Jackson County Tavern League Golf outing July 17th *At the Skyline Golf Course. N5890 HWY 54 Black River Falls, WI www.facebook.com/SunsetTavern

JULY 2021 WORD SEARCH PUZZLE

BLACK RIVER FA L L S PA G E OLIVE OIL Trying to control her frizzy and dry hair, Kay treated her scalp with olive oil before washing it. Worried that the oil might leave an odor than that her hair obviously needed it, she washed her hair several times with strong soap. That night when Kay went to bed, she leaned over to her husband and asked, "Do I smell like olive oil?" "Why?" he asked, pulling back. "Do I smell like Popeye?" DOCTOR STORIES A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one. -Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. Big breaths," I instructed. “Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied to the patient. -Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." --Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada

JULY 2021

I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. Now your left." Again, a flawless read. Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam. -Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA During a patient's two-week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. Which one?" I asked. “The patch.” he said “The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one. -Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bed-ridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered ...”Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive." -Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

JULY 2021

B L AC K R I V E R FA L L S - E T T R I C K P G Open Daily @ 9am

The Corner Pub

Open Daily @ 9am

HAPPY HOUR: 3-6pm Sunday - Friday 50 Cents Off ALL Drinks! 22 833 N M ain St . Et t rick, W I ( 608) 525-4863

Come right to the corner.. for more fun!

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, So, how's your breakfast this morning?" It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly." -Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener" --won't admit his name

And Finally . . .. A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment, he had unconsciously formed a habit of

QUIET VOICES The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” I whispered in the Devil’s ear, “I like your eggs.”

*Tapper Tuesdays: $1 Off Taps *Wednesdays: LADIES NIGHT

OPEN @ 11am 7 DAYS A WEEK LUNCH & DINNER SPECIALS SERVED: 11am - 9pm FULL MENU AVAILABLE

*THIRSTY Thursdays: -All TALL Cans Only $2.00 Happy Hour MON -FRI 2-5p

*Friday Fish Fry - All-U-Can-Eat

Welcome Trail Riders! W9944 Airport Rd., Black River Falls, WI

SUDUKO ‘HARD’ PUZZLE

JULY 2021

CROSSWORD PUZZLE ANSWER

ON-GOING WEEKLY ENTERTAINMENT Tuesdays: -Brickhouse - E. C. - New Every Tuesday: Open Mic 7-11pm w/Cereral Skillet Sing w/Band or Solo Thursdays: -Girolamo’s - E.C. - Karaoke 9P -1st & Goal - C.F. - DJ Not2Shy -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke 8 -Midnight -Sidetrack - Roberts- Every Thursday Oatmeal Band 3:30 - 6:30pm -Slim’s - Lk Hallie Karaoke Fridays: -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Karaoke 9p-1a -Rookies Pub- C.F.-DJ or Band -Block House- Melrose- Librya Union Live Every 2nd and 4th Friday starts @ 7pm -Sunset Tavern - BRF - Karaoke the 1st and 3rd Fridays Monthly (and 5th Friday when that happens) -Slim’s - Lk Hallie Karaoke Saturdays: -VFW Post 305 - E.C. -Live Music Every SAT from 8pm to Midnight -Brick House- E.C.-- Karaoke @9pm -Uncle Sam’s of Arcadia – House DJ -R & R’s First and Last Chance - BRFKaraoke 8pm Sundays -VFW Post-305-E.C.- Oldies DJ Music Sundays @2:30-6:30pm -Block House- Melrose- Karaoke 1st & 3rd Sundays with Coleman starts @ 2pm -Eagle’s Club - Lk Hallie - Karaoke @5pm

SPECIAL OCCASIONS BINGO / MUSIC BINGO: -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake Hallie - Music Bingo" Tues -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood- Thursday (Spring - Fall Patio Bingo starting @ 7pm) and Bingo EVERY Sunday at 2pm *Proceeds go to Autism Awareness *Pull Tab Drawing EVERY Sunday at 5pm

-The Bungalow – Lakeland MN- Bingo Starts Sats From 2-4pm and Continues Every Saturday till further notice -Eagle’s Club - Lk Hallie - Wed Night Bingo at 6pm *Proceeds donated to Skating and hockey kids to cut costs. -Eagle’s Club - Lk Hallie -May 15: Designer Purse Bingo *Ticket Price $50 11-3 BEAN BAGS: -Back Roads Saloon – Pray –July 3rd *Bean Bag Tournament – Double Elimination / $10 per team *Sign up 11:30am Starts @ Noon

JULY 2021

BREAKFAST CLUB: -The Bungalow -Lakeland, MNThur & Fri 8a till 10:45 / Sat & Sun 7:30a till 11:45 / Sun. Brunch 9a-1:30p -Corral Bar & Grill - Durand -Daily 5a – 11:30a -Side Tracks-RobertsSat. 8-11am & Sun 9a-noon -Village Inn, North Hudson- Daily 8-11am -Tim’s Slims Lake Hallie Tavern - breakfast CARD, CRIBBAGE, DICE: -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood Every Tuesday Euchre @1pm -Block House - Melrose - Euchre Mon(s) 6p DART & POOL: -Tim’s Slim’s –Lake HalliePool Tournaments every other Saturday noon start Food and raffles FUNDRAISER

SUNDAY, JULY 4 -Bear Creek Band -Jake’s Tiki Bar in Menomonie WI - 6 to 10pm -Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club –Lake HalliePart Time Due 3 – 6pm MONDAY, JULY 5 -Bear Creek Band -Music in the Park in Antigo, WI - 6 to 8pm WEDNESDAY, JULY 7 -Bear Creek Band -Hodag Country Fest in Rhinelander, WI - 8:30 to 1:30 FRIDAY, JULY 9 -Bear Creek Band -Lynda’s Lakeshore in Chetek, WI - 6 to 10pm SATURDAY, JULY 10 -Freddie’s Bar- North Bend -Jon and Jamin -Bear Creek Band -Six Lakes Resort in Chetek, WI - 6 to 10pm

-Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood- July 11th – Fundraiser Day *Bags at 12 / *Bingo @ 2

SUNDAY, JULY 11 -Bear Creek Band -Pioneer Saloon in Menomonie, WI - 3 to 7pm

MEAT RAFFLE: -Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club – Lk Hallie Meat Raffles @ 6pm

FRIDAY, JULY 16 -Bear Creek Band -Colby Cheese Days in Colby, WI - TBA

TRIVIA: -Kern’s Kurbside – Elmwood- Monday @7pm

SATURDAY, JULY 17 -Freddie’s Bar- North Bend - Matt Sayles National Touring Artist -Bear Creek Band -SandBar & Grill in Chippewa Falls, WI - TBA

TOWN CELEBRATIONS: -July 23 – 25th – UFO Days Elmwood, WI Music at Kern’s Kurbside 5-8p Part Time Duo

JUNE 2021 SATURDAY, JUNE 26 -Bear Creek Band - SandBar - C.F. Time TBA -Pub Crawl For Johnson Boys in Lake Hallie *Proceeds to help with Medical Expanses -Sunset Tavern – BRF- Scott’s retirement party. Car show 2-6. Music by: Toner and Uncle Ron -Freddie’s Bar-Ettrick- Blondie Blues SUNDAY, JUNE 27 -Bear Creek Band - SandBar - C.F. Time TBA -Lake Hallie Sportsman’s - Lk Hallie - FAT FARMusic by 2 Fools and Stool with Klyde

SUNDAY, JULY 18 -Bear Creek Band -SandBar & Grill in Chippewa Falls, WI - TBA -Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club –Lake HallieTwo Broke Dudes 3 – 6pm TUESDAY, JULY 20 -Bear Creek Band -Hoe Down in Downtown Eau Claire, WI - 5 to 9pm FRIDAY, JULY 23 -Bear Creek Band -The Mix Up in Amery, WI - 6 to 10pm

JULY 2021

SATURDAY, JULY 24 -Freddie’s Bar- North Bend - Carmen & Company -Bear Creek Band -The Funny Farm in Chetek, WI - 6 to 10pm

THURSDAY, JULY 1 -Bear Creek Band -Gilligan’s Tiki Bar in Chetek, WI - 5 to 9pm FRIDAY, JULY 2 -Bear Creek Band -Paradise Shores 4 in Holcombe, WI - 5 to 9pm

SUNDAY, JULY 25 -Bear Creek Band -Kern’s in Elmwood, WI (UFO DAYS) - 3 to 7pm -Lake Hallie Sportsman’s Club –Lake HallieVirginia Steele 3 – 7pm

SATURDAY, JULY 3 -Freddie’s Bar- North Bend - Joe Cody is back to Kick of the 4th! -Bear Creek Band -Roadhouse 25 in Wheeler, WI - 4 to 8pm -Back Roads Saloon – Pray – DJ/Karaoke w/Mad Dog 2pm – Midnight

WEDNESDAY, JULY 28 -Bear Creek Band -Gilligan’s Tiki Bar in Chetek, WI - 5 to 9pm SATURDAY, JULY 31 -Freddie’s Bar- North - Bend - Josh White (Singer -Songwriter)

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JULY 2021