S E X I N T H I S C I T Y

The Beauty of First Dates

Dating is supposed to be exciting, right? Then why is there so much anxiety when it comes to first dates?

Dating shouldn’t be hard but we make it almost impossible to create a carefree atmosphere for such a simple event. Why do we put so much pressure on someone we don’t even know?

Why do we put so much pressure on someone we don’t even know?

In my profession I have heard about some pretty horrible first dates. I offer date coaching to my clients that help them understand the do’s and don’ts of dating and how to get out of their own way to find their someone.

Here are my 5 Principals to Fun First dates and a few “Don’ts” To always remember.

A D R I E N N E ’ S 5 P R I N C I P A L S T O F U N F I R S T D A T E S

Fun and friendly- A first date should be a fun experience. You should go out at least twice a month meeting new people and hopefully learning something new about someone you don’t know. Think of a first date like how you ’d go out and meet a friend for drinks. You ’re there to have good conversation, food and to have a brief exchange of energy with a new friend.

Introduction- A first date is exactly just that, an introduction. You ’re not about to leave the restaurant and walk down the aisle. Think of the date as a trailer to a movie or a series on Netflix. The trailer shows you some key parts of the show.

You can decide to watch the whole movie which is like going on a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th date. You can watch the entire movie or series only if you like what you see and hear and are intrigued enough to sit through it.

"Think of the date as a trailer to a movie or a series on Netflix. The trailer shows you some key parts of the show. "

Go Dutch

Relax- Go

DUTCH! This is just a first date. You aren’t going to be in a relationship afterwards if you happen to like this persons’ personality, looks or demeanor. If you remove the pressure of it being such a serious event to it being a casual date to meet a friend, then you open up your mind to more possibilities. Removing the pressure of payment gives you the opportunity to get to know someone genuinely, free from judgement.

A D R I E N N E ’ S 5 P R I N C I P A L S T O F U N F I R S T D A T E S

Simple. Keep the conversation simple and vague. Talk about interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes. It’s not an interview. Don’t go in depth and reveal too much information about your personal life. No one needs to know what type of underwear you prefer or if you can tie a cherry stem with your tongue. You ’re doing too much if someone can go home and think about the sexual conversation you had on a FIRST date.

Timing and type: Lots of people who end up together happen to have the right timing of when they meet someone. But if you never give someone the opportunity to meet you, then you ’ll never know if they are your type. We try to write someone off as soon as they say something or text something we don’t like. Once you set up the date, stop all communication and just build the anticipation of meeting them in person.

Your typical type, ISN’T YOUR

TYPE. You ’re cutting yourself off from so many potential partners because you keep letting your eyes choose your type. Let your spirit choose. Let the way a person makes your heart feel determine your type. Your eyes can play tricks on you, your heart usually gives you some grace.

"Stop talking about politics on a first date. STOP IT!"

Don’t Talk about SEX. A person who meets you for the first time shouldn’t have that much access to your mind, body or spirit in such an intimate way.

Don’t try to take Control of the Date.

The conversation should be casual. Over talking someone or interrogating the dater with a barrage of questions about their salary, or their past relationships will make the atmosphere tenser and more uncomfortable and that’s the last thing you want on a first date.

Don’t talk about Politics, Ex’s, or WORK.

Stop talking about politics. STOP IT! The end (I don’t need to say anymore in regards to that topic) Do not bring up your ex ’s, please. You don’t know this person well enough to know who they might be acquainted with or how uncomfortable they may feel speaking about another man or woman that you ’ ve been with intimately. It’s just weird. Cut it out! Stop talking about your job or workplace. Half of the population hates their job and that emotional discourse in regards to it, can bring down the energy and the atmosphere is supposed to be enjoyable. Leave talk about your workplace out of the conversation.

Write down a few topics you want discuss and go have fun. Dating is fun. Getting to know someone new, is fun. Keep it light and enjoy the experience.