The Georgetonian - Spring 2015, Issue 9

The

eorgetonian G

April 1, 2015  Volume CXXXV Issue 9 3/4

Georgetonian to be terminated indefinitely

After all, social media provides us with all of the news we could ever possibly want anyway

By ERIC BALMER

been reached after much deliberation between the editors, faculty advisor and This past week, due to even some of the adminisa variety of factors, “The tration.

Georgetonian” has decided to Compiling news articles terminate the production of and verifying your sources the paper. Effective after the takes time, and but why production of this issue, the would college students want long-time student run paper of to read relevant news about the Georgetown College will local and global issues when be no more. they can watch Vine videos Although this decision of a kid saying, “Lebron may seem like a surprise to James” and binge watch epimany people, it’s been a long sodes of “House of Cards” time coming. This decision has instead?

As this newspaper The Georgetonian/ ERIC BALMER has struggled to find Lack of student interest is one writers, interest in read- reason the paper will no longer ing has also shown an be published. enormous decrease.

After all, when there is in good reason keep funding social media that tells the struggling campus news you all you need to know, provider. The administration newspapers seem to be believes the money will be irrelevant. utilized in areas where there Senior Brooke Whita- is more student attention. Stuker doesn’t understand dents would love if administhe need for a newspaper tration improved the internet in the Social Media age. connection so that they could “Why do I need to read be intellectually stimulated by the paper when Twit- their new Spotify playlists. ter tells me about what Although the paper used to happened in ‘Baggage?’” be well aware of what students The Georgetonian/ ERIC BALMER Whitaker said. on campus were interested in, The Georgetonian has provided Georgetown College’s they cannot keep attention of news to Tigers for centuries. administration could not students because they are incaEditor-in-Chief

Inside

this issue

Oxford scholars have returned page 2

Sustainability: Not just for Hippies page 6

pable of streaming Netflix in to print. Now I guess I’ll print. just get my news from social Many of the current edi- media, ‘SNL’ and re-runs of tors who have tried their best ‘Friends,’” she said. to create new interest in the Lastly, Georgetown comnewspaper are sad to see all munity, thank you for reading that they’ve worked for turn while you could. We appreciinto a failure. ate the love.

Opinion Editor Evan *READERS! This article is Moore, who is only a fresh- completely satirical and not facman, has fond memories of tual in any way. Happy April working for the school news- Fool’s Day. paper. “The Georgetonian gave me a great foot in the door here at college,” Moore said. “I’m thankful for the writing opportunities and the great friends I met,” he said.

Senior Hannah Krieger, former Editor– in–Chief, has similar sentiments about the upcoming termination of the newspaper.

“A part of me is really glad this is happening since interest is so low,” Krieger said. “On the other hand, I’m really sad about the decision.

I have learned so much here, have made many good friends and have The Georgetonian/ ERIC BALMER created countless memo- Staff of the paper have done all ries that I will look back they could to keep The Georgetoon after the paper ceases nian in publication.

Dance Marathon is Next Friday page 7

“A Complete History of Kentucky” plays Apr. 10-12 page 8

Page 2

News The Oxford scholars have returned:

The Georgetonian

Global

Headlines Compiled by Noah Krieger

 Two gunmen, disguised as lawyers, entered an Istanbul courthouse and took hostage the prosecutor of a controversial case who they shot and killed. The two gunmen were then killed by police.  A gas tanker crashed in southern Mexico, after which locals tried to take some of the gas, despite warnings from authorities. The tanker eventually exploded, killing 14 and injuring more than 20.  President Obama began granting military aid to Egypt, after cutting it off following the 2013 coup. He plans to give $1.3 billion worth of weapons annually so that Egpyt can fight terrorism.  In the Fuller Park neighborhood of Chicago, several men set up a fake road block of construction barrels, then assulted and robbed drivers who got out to move them. Two people have so far fallen victim.  Neil Moore of Wandsworth maximum–security prison used a smuggled in cell phone to send an official looking email telling Wandsworth managers that he had been granted bail.

He was released, but turned himself in a few days later.  A tenth century Anglo–Saxon recipe for an eye salve was found to be a powerful antibiotic capable of killing MRSA. It contains ingredients such as garlic, wine and oxgall.

An interview with returnee Taylor Burchett

By ANDREA BELLEW

experience was, she said, “Studying at Oxford was difficult. There were times when I wasn’t sure how I got into Oxford in the first place. It was also a lot more independent. What you learned was entirely up to you since you only meet with a professor once a

rooms to themselves, but that it “was helpful due to the nature of the tutorial system.”

A couple weeks ago, some of the Despite the lone rooms she was not Oxford scholars of the 2015 Hilary term always alone: “Sometimes it was lonely, crossed “the pond” back to the United so we often had hallway parties to chat States. and play Uno. The common room This reporter conducted in Wycliffe is where we spent an interview through email many Friday evenings playing with one of the returnees, snooker and Uno. There was Taylor Burchett, junior, to find always coffee in the common out some specifics about the room, which was beyond helpOxford experience. ful.”

When asked what she When asked how she would studied there, Burchett said, “I compare that experience to her studied history. My main topic Georgetown experience, she was general history 1914–1945. said, “Regent’s Park College at I also studied some Roman hisOxford reminded me of Georgetory from Nero to Hadrian.” town. The student body was When asked what a typical small, and it seemed like everyweek looked like for her, she one knew each other, which is said, “The routine was basione of the things I love so much cally the same every day. Wake about Georgetown. The academup. Read some sources. Go Source: Facebook.com ics were more intense at Oxford. to lunch. Read more. Dinner. Many of the Oxford Honors students who left for the Casual conversation wasn’t More reading. Tuesday morn- Hilary term at Regent Park College have returned to about sports or the weather; ings I always got up early to the United States. people talked about theology, go to Cooked Breakfast. This history, literature and the claswas the one time during the week that week. Even though it was difficult, it sics constantly. That was my expethe dining hall served a hot breakfast. was extra motivating.” rience at least. Another difference is My weekly essay was always due on She also said the very air and atmo- that Oxford libraries were packed full Thursday night, so I usually stayed up sphere of Oxford was motivation for of students constantly, not just around most of Wednesday night finishing it. her: “The air in Oxford is filled with finals time. If you wanted to study at Then on Thursday mornings I met with academics. If you wanted to escape a library you had to be prepared to sit my tutor to discuss my essay.” the academic side of things, you had elbow–to–elbow with other people.”

In light of all of the hard work to try really hard. The entire town is According to Burchett, the other she put in, she said, “Friday Formal filled with an academic spirit. So when Oxford Honors students to return are Halls are what kept me going most I really didn’t feel like writing another Abby Smith, Anna Joy Thompson, of the time. Formal Hall is an extra essay, all I had to do was think about Lexie Stovel – all juniors. nice three–course candlelit dinner. where I was and my motivation came Marina Rust, junior, came home for Everyone dresses up and wears their back.” the break as well, but she will be returnacademic regalia. The food on Friday She said she stayed at Wycliffe Hall, ing for the Trinity term in Oxford. nights is always really good. I usually which was about a 10 minute walk Tyler Phillips, junior, stayed abroad spent weekends recuperating from from Regent’s Park College, which is and is waiting for the Trinity term to the intense studying I did during the where she ate meals and was enrolled begin as well. week.” as a student.

When asked how difficult the She also said that they each have News Editor

Issue 9 3/4

April Fools’ News

April 1, 2015 Page 3

The squirrels attack tonight

By ANDREA BELLEW

Pawling Hall, nut stashes and giant nut slingshots, so there was obviously something going on and she knew it After watching “The Emperor’s was her duty as a reporter to get to the New Groove” many times, this reporter bottom of everything. has become a veritable expert on squirUnfortunately, she did not know rel talk, which is how she knew where that would lead her to the bottom of a to be this fateful night. She had heard tree. On Tuesday night, March 31, she whispered squirrel chirps all day about had to use her wiles and a plastic Caf spoon, since she would never be so dastardly as to take and use the fine silver, to burrow her way underneath the hollow tree that all of the college’s squirrels were meeting in.

A stethoscope was then used to hear the meeting that transpired. She could tell by the gruff squirrel chirp that their leader, Rattail, was speaking.

He began by saying, Source: Telegraph.co.uk “Welcome SAINTs – SquirThe squirrels always get psyched before a nice rels Attacking In Night SAINTs outting.

The. Larry! Don’t give me

that look! You know we wanted the College. squeaking cool acronym! Priorities **Disclaimer: This is not a real Larry, geez.” article. There is nothing factual about There was obviously dissension in this story. This reporter seems to have the ranks already, but dissension in forgotten that news sections of newswhat this reporter was not completely papers don’t get breaking news…or sure of yet. opinions. Oh well. April Fool’s!”** Then Rattail finished laying out the SAINT’s master plan for the evening. These squirrels are no Saints.

They are going to have slingshot–armed squirrels stationed at the entrances of Pawling Hall tonight, Wednesday, April 1, so that no one will enter it on Thursday morning. They are going to use each floor to stash their nuts and never let the students or faculty use it again.

For the poor students of Georgetown there will be no more English, history, religion or Source: Happy-valentines-day-images.com philosophy classes. The educated The April Fools’ Day shenanigans are runmasses will no longer be edu- ning ammock in the Georgetonian office. cated masses here at Georgetown

By ANDREA BELLEW

started rattling and mists poured from their openings. For a few solid hours, every single machine worked.

Suzie Que, Flowers resident, said, “It’s an Easter miracle.” **Disclaimer: This is not a real article. The only factual aspect of this story is that sometimes the machines in the Flowers laundry The Georgetonian/ANDREA BELLEW room do not work.

The washers only perform miracles every so often, April Fools’!”**

News Editor

Miracle laundry room of Flowers

News Editor For as long as this reporter can remember, none of the washers and dryers of Flowers Hall have all worked at the same time. One washer has never worked properly; for some reason it does not like to spin one’s clothes.

It seems to actually smile sometimes when it sees a young woman almost break her back trying to lift a sopping wet blanket out of it. Some think it secretly sticks its tongue out when she has to move said blanket to another washer and let it go through the cycle again just so it can spin properly.

A dryer went out eventually too. It decided it just would not stand to dry

one more cloth.

Oh wait, this just in, this dryer, nor any of the other dryers, never dried clothes in a timely manner in the first place; it usually takes two cycles to get clothes completely dry. This was so frustrating that residents decided to protest by burning bras in the dryers.

It took the fire department over 15 minutes to find the building once it started to burn because there was a 404 Not Found error due to the building’s unfortunate building number – 404.

So anyway, then the dryer was fixed, but alas, another washer began to quit working. It also decided it did not want to spin anymore.

Then, this morning, something odd happened. All of the machines

so behold while you can.

Page 4

Sports & Recreation

The Georgetonian

Racing greyhounds exists as sport

By KAYLA BOSWELL Staff Writer

Over the past few weeks, there have been articles about random and silly sports that many people/professionals take rather seriously (which is amusing if you try to think about someone taking hamster racing seriously). This week, the sport will be one that is more commonly known than the others. The competitive nature of this sport compares to the thoroughbred racing that many people in Kentucky

love. What is this sport you ask? Well, it is Greyhound racing.

Greyhound racing is where greyhound dogs chase a lure, usually an artificial rabbit, on a track until they cross the finish line. Like most races, this one has betting on which dog will place when the race is finished.

This sport is popular in Australia, Ireland, Macau, Mexico, Spain, the United Kingdom and the United States. It is part of the gambling industry, but is less profitable than horse racing.

The first greyinclude the legalization hound race was of gambling, regulatory recorded in Hendon, structure and the physEngland in 1876. It ical presence of racewas on a straight tracks. There are also fee track near the Welsh charges by host locations, Harp reservoir, but use of professional kenit wasn’t very popunels for racing, the limit lar. Only when Owen of dogs that participate in Patrick Smith, who Source: Parkstonelasers.org.uk races, the official racing invented the arti- The first greyhound race was held in code and membership ficial (mechanical) Hendon, England in 1876. in the greyhound racing hare in 1912, became federation. involved did the racing In society today, there are

become more known. The oval certain criteria that need to GREYHOUND, pg. 5 tracks for the dogs also came be met for commercial greyinto play around this time. hound racing. These criteria

KHS: Fitness Myths— The magic pill

By SEAN KRATCHMAN Staff Writer Last year, people spent an estimated $46 billion on diet products and self–help books in the U.S. That’s an enormous amount of money, especially when you look at the success rate of these diets. A government review found that two thirds of the people who lost weight using a diet gained all of the weight back within a year. In fact, 97 percent of the dieters regained all of the weight back within five years.

This sounds like a huge waste of money, right? I mean we’ve all seen the ads and heard the claims from these diet supplement companies. They all sound too good to be true, and that’s because most of the time are.

The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) is not required to review these supplement

claims before they are adver- an informed decision if you fit ratio. In other words, is the tised and sold. In a 2012 choose to buy them. Do some cost of this product worth the Department of Health and research on the ingredients potential benefits?

Human Service study, To put all of this researchers found that simply, there is no magic 20 percent of the 127 pill that can replace a dietary supplements healthy diet and exercise. they reviewed made The primary reason that illegal claims on their most people gain back labeling. Companies the weight that they lost that do claim scienduring the diet is that tific research backs up they don’t change their their product aren’t lifestyle. required to have studChoosing to lead a ies published in peer– Source: Kacondiet.atspace.co.uk healthier lifestyle is one reviewed journals. Last year, 46 billion was spent on diet prod- thing, but maintaining In fact, researchers ucts and self–help books in the U.S. that healthy lifestyle found one company long-term is entirely using a thirty year old, hand– found in the product. Can’t different. If you’re going to written college paper to sub- find any evidence backing make changes to your diet and stantiate its claims. Others the weight loss claims? That’s start exercising, make them used Wikipedia or online probably a good indication slowly. For example, if your advertisements to prove their that you shouldn’t buy it. Does goal is to lose weight, start claims. it cost as much as a semester changing your diet slowly.

So, are over the counter at Georgetown? This is also a Make one change at a time, so dietary supplements worth the good indication because when that it becomes more of a lifemoney? That’s completely up researching supplements you style change and not a crash– to you, but you should make have to look at the cost–bene- course diet. So for the first

two weeks, try drinking more water. Shoot for 8–12 glasses of water at least throughout your day. Then when those two weeks are up, keep drinking more water and make another change on top of that. So for the two weeks after that you would be drinking more water and you would substitute one of your daily snacks for a healthier option. These are just examples you can use, but my point is to make these lifestyle changes slowly so that you have a better chance of living a healthier lifestyle long–term.

There is, however, one exception to this rule. Anything Dr. Oz advocates is pure magic and should be purchased without hesitation.

He has his own TV show and is a doctor. Not to mention he’s been on Oprah, no further reason is needed… Just kidding, save your money, people!

Issue 9 3/4

Sports & Recreation

Greyhound cont.

On top of that, there is a lot of medical care of the dogs that cause a problem. Many greyhound adoption groups report that the dogs carry tick–borne diseases and parasites. When given a retired greyhound, many of these groups have to vaccinate the dogs because of the lack of preventative treatment they are given. Recently, athletic enhancing drugs have become a problem in greyhound racing. The industry is trying to prevent the spread

of this practice by recovering urine samples from all greyhounds in a race. Violators are subject to penalties and lose their racing licenses while also having a permanent ban from the National Greyhound Association.

After the greyhound reaches the ages of four to six, the dog is no longer allowed to race. The best dogs are kept for breeding while others are given to both industry associate adoption groups and

rescue groups. These places find homes for the dogs to live the rest of their lives as pets.

However, there are still some dogs being euthanized (over 20,000 a year in the United States). Some greyhounds are donated to research labs such as Liverpool University Animal Training School.

Several organizations such as Adopt–a–Greyhound, Greyhound Pets of America and the Retired Greyhound Trust try to make sure that many of

April 1, 2015 Page 5

the dogs are adopted.

Many of these organizations advocate better treatment of the greyhounds while they are on the track.

Greyhound racing has become Source: Nextranks.com a developing sport When greyhounds retire from racing, in the world and still they are available for adoption. needs many regulations for the treatment of the popular sport and beloved by dogs, although that never many. stops people. It is still a widely

GG of the Week: Beware the Duck of Doom

By KAYLA BOSWELL Staff Writer Normally, there is a video game that will be talked about on this awesome page.

However, I have changed the course of history of the Guild Game of the Week. You are most welcome.

So in recent discovery and other nonsensical things, there has been a popular game that, without going into much detail, has four simple rules (at least, according to their personal website). Here they are: 1.) Kick down the door 2.) Fight the monster 3.) Grab the treasure 4.) Reach level 10 and win In other words, kill the monsters, steal the treasure and if backstabbing or stabbing is needed, do it to your friends (only in the game though; never do such a thing in real

life). And people thought Mario Kart ruined friendships, but this game rivals that. It involves making deals with other players and going back on deals, you cannot trust anyone.

However, if you don’t put trust in someone while also staying caution (that is the best way to do it) you WILL not make it.

Source: Majorspoilers.com So, first you must kick Can you guess the game this card down a door (just drawing comes from? a card, but that isn’t really much fun, now is it?) then defeat a monster if that is pres- Yay. But what about the others ent. Now, your character has around you? They must not to have a higher level than the achieve the winning level, monster to defeat it, but do not right? Yes, so you enchant fret, children of Georgetown. them with enhancing cards Your weapons and equipment that can cause the monsters and other random bonuses to win and force the player help boost your level for the to either Run Away or suffer monster thwarting! the CONSEQUENCES the At the end of the defeated monsters will inflict on them. monster you gain an official *Insert evil laugh here* level or two plus some extras.

We must not forget that

other players can help each other. It is called negotiating, kids. It is an important life skill we must all learn.

Oh, and players can gain awesome abilities by getting some class or race cards that give the player an advantage.

So that’s fun. You could be a Warrior Elf or something, but BEWARE! There are monsters like SQUIDZILLA who shall take advantage your newly profound title.

Oh, along with the negotiating with players, you can sell some of your items to gain a level. No, that has nothing to do with negotiating with players, I just want to add that.

This is how war breaks out too. And in the final moments of the game, the winner must reach level 10 as stated in the basic rules from earlier (only defeating monsters allows you to gain a level unless you get the special cards that allow

you to skip that method and that makes everyone mad at you).

So, now, those who have never played this game are wondering… Why hasn’t this freaking person mention the game yet? Gosh, I hate when this happens. So, without further adieu, the game that has been explained is…

Well, there are many expansion packs to this game as well as different versions to add to the level of nonsense and silly things. Have I mentioned that this is a card game?

Yes, let’s hope no one plays it on a motorcycle. …MUNCHKIN. (That is the game)

Features

Page 6

The Georgetonian

Sustainability: Not just for hippies

By ALEX CAUDILL Staff Writer The Georgetown Sustainability Initiative, more popularly known as GSI, was founded in August of 2011.

The group aims to raise awareness about environmental issues both on campus and within the greater community. GSI is one of the driving forces behind greater efforts to recycle more on campus.

You might notice recycling containers in your dorms with signs above them with the GSI name.

Some of GSI’s other programs and projects include recycling, Meatless Mondays, documentary screenings, guest speakers and an annual Earth Day concert.

GSI also helped coordinate the recent “power down” on campus over Christmas

break which helped to save is the current president of GSI, It is a good organization to Georgetown College several had the following to say about get involved in that allows thousand dollars. The “power the organization: you to not only be a passive down” involved member but to actually turning the heat and effect positive change electricity down in at Georgetown College dorms that were not and the larger Georgebeing inhabited by town community. We students over the also provide great break. internship opportuniThe mission ties.” of the group is: GSI is sponsoring “The Georgetown their fourth annual Sustainability IniEarth Day event titled tiative (GSI) is a “Our Responsibility: student–led colEarth Day 2015” on laborative effort of Wednesday, April 22, students, faculty, from 4 to 7 p.m. on Gidand staff commit- Source: Alex Caudill dings Lawn. ted to exploring Georgetown Sustainability Initiative meets in This will be held on issues that affect the Asher Science Center, room 32, on Thursdays the 45th anniversary of earth, educating the at 11 a.m.

Earth Day. The Brother Georgetown ColSmith Band featuring lege community in sustainable “GSI has taught me not recent GC alum, Wes Smith, lifestyles and implementing only about environmental and Justin Paul Lewis will be such practices on campus.” issues but also has provided performing. Several campus Junior Braden Bocard, who me with invaluable life skills. and community organizations

will also be present.

Junior, Brenna Jewell, who is the secretary and treasurer for GSI, said, “GC is lucky to have a group on campus that is actively working towards making campus greener. It may not seem like a lot by powering down for break or throwing a plastic bottle in recycling but the impact that it has on the environment and the reduction of Georgetown College’s carbon footprint helps to create a more sustainable future.”

The group is not just for those interested in the environment but is great for anyone interested in social activism, politics, science and so much more. GSI is always looking for new members. Anyone interested in joining can email sustaingtown@gmail.com and attend a meeting at 11 a.m. on Thursdays in Asher 32.

Upcoming NEXUS events: • April 2 at 11 a.m.: SGA General Assembly (LRC Ward Room) • April 6–9, 7 p.m.: Bishop Revival 2015 (Georgetown Baptist Church) • April 7 at 11 a.m.: Cawthorne Lecture: “Under an Open Sky”: Thomas Merton, Ira Jack Birdwhistell and the Search for the True Self (John L. Hill Chapel) • April 7 at 11 a.m.: Planetarium Show (Asher Science Center) • April 9 at 11 a.m.: Risky Business: Legal Implications within Fraternity and Sorority Life (John L. Hill Chapel)

Features

Issue 9 3/4

April 1, 2015 Page 7

Dance Marathon is next Friday

By KAITLIN FAHEY Features Editor

A few hours of dancing with a group of friends on a Friday night can potentially help Georgetown College make a difference for children in its community. Dance Marathon will be held on the evening of Friday, April 10.

Dance Marathon is one of Georgetown’s newest traditions, dating back only to 2011.

The campus–wide event, similar to DanceBlue at the University of Kentucky, doubles as a night of entertaining activities and a philanthropic endeavor.

All funds raised from the event will go to Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals (CMNH), a non–profit organization that benefits 170 children’s hospitals across the country, including Kentucky Children’s Hospital in Lexington, Ky. The money that is donated to CMNH will then be used where it is most needed in the hospital. Donations “support

Source: Facebook.com

A photo from last year’s Dance Marathon shows the amount of money raised after over 18 hours of dancing.

research and training, purchase equipment and pay for uncompensated care, all to save and improve the lives of as many children as possible.” (childrensmiraclenetworkhospitals.org) The partnership with CMNH has inspired the slogan known by dance marathoners all around the country: “It’s FTK: for the kids!”

In the past, students have stayed up until past dawn dancing and raising money for children in need; however, this year, Georgetown is offering a Dance Marathon preview night. The event will be from 5 to 9 p.m. in the George H.W. Bush Center for Fitness.

Though this year’s Dance Marathon will be shorter in duration, students can expect it to be just as filled with activities as previous years. The Source: Ihoppancakeday.com evening will include food, Money raised from Dance Mar- dancing and games, but athon will directly benefit Chil- the focus of the event will dren’s Miracle Network Hospitals. be the children who will

ultimately benefit from the fundraiser.

“Of course there will be some dancing and music, but something really special is we will also have some visiting families who have been patients in a Children’s Miracle Network Hospital,” said Lydia Allen, a sophomore and one of the 2015 directors of Dance Marathon.

She continued: “These kids and their families will stay and participate in our event with us, and these children are so inspiring. They have faced more adversity in their personal health, yet they are able to still have a positive outlook on life. That is why we do what we do with Dance Marathon: to help CMNH give these families and children hope to keep fighting. So this night will be a fun one full of lots of things to do, but it will also be one of inspirational stories.”

Students who would like to register may do so as an individual for $10 dollars or as part of a team such as an ath-

letic team, fraternity or sorority, campus organization or just a group of friends coming together to serve the cause.

Teams, which must consist of at least two people, will pay a $25 fee. These registration fees will go towards the overall donation made to CMNH. Participants will also receive a t–shirt.

Once the registration fee is paid, each participant is then encouraged to raise $20.11 in honor of Dance Marathon’s founding year at Georgetown College. This fundraising can come from informing friends

and family members about the event and asking for donations.

Students interested in participating in Dance Marathon should contact Lydia Allen at lallen@georgetowncollege.edu to register. Those who wish to register as a team should include the names of all of their team members when registering.

Further questions about Dance Marathon may be directed to Allen or Bailey Milam, whose email address is bmilam@georgetowncollege. edu.

Quote My Georgetown Professor “Just because your significant other isn’t as impressive five years down the road, don’t worry. It’s just the regression factor.” - Dr. White Posted on the “Quote My Georgetown Professor” Facebook group

Georgetown Tree Huggers

Source: Angel Woodrum

This week’s Tree Hugger is Sophomore Micaela Bates.

Page 8

ArtsEntertainment

The Georgetonian

Brace yourself, Kentucky history is coming

By JOHN WAITE Staff Writer

Every semester, the Georgetown College Maskcrafters perform a play for the college, and this semester is no exception. This semester is the world premiere of “A Complete History of Kentucky (the Interesting Parts)” directed by Georgetown college professor Ed Smith. The play centers around an upstart theater show called Kentucky Educational Theater, or KET for short, with its three hosts Marty, Elsa Anna and Sherlock as they try to make Kentucky history fun. You can expect people from Kentucky’s colorful past to be brought back to life and relive many parts of Kentucky’s history such as Daniel Boone, the Civil War and the feud between the Hatfields and McCoys.

Ed Smith is not new to directing , as he has directed about 7 world premieres at the college, including last spring’s “Grimm Tales.” He says that it is a different experience to create a world premier because it is unchartered territory and you have to use your imagination and creativity. Since

the play has never been done before, he can’t look back at other productions to get an idea of what to do, so he uses the rehearsal time to collaborate with the actors to see what lines work and what lines do not.

Alongside Smith during the play are his wife Betsy Smith and their sons Harry, Ethan and Ross. Betsy is the playwright for this production, while Harry, Ethan and Ross are all actors.

The five of them are a part of the Kentucky Humanities Council, which performs historically accurate moments of Kentucky’s history. Unlike the other world premiers from the Smiths, this is the first time that the whole family can blend their love for the history of this state to create a fun comedy of its past. Joining the Smiths in the show is Kentucky State Historian and GC professor of history Dr. James Klotter who is involved with the scripts on not only this performance but also on the Kentucky Humanities Council. Smith says that he is a great resource and a great person to work with. Dr. Klotter might be making an appearance in the performance as well.

Since Kentucky’s history is so rich, not everything could make it into the

play. To make the play more manageable, it was decided that the history chosen would be familiar to people, but incorporate new information into those stories. They also wanted to make the play interesting and have it tell a story the audience can follow along with.

For the play, three original characters were added to host this event. These hosts are the history–loving Elsa Anna, the fun–loving Marty and Sherlock.

They were conceived to be our guides throughout much of Kentucky’s fascinating history.

Smith is looking forward to the new cast and the history of the show. He also hopes that the audience will appreciate the show and wants to see their reactions to the show. He is also looking forward to seeing the play come together fully. He has no favorite part of the play, but he says that the only thing that matters is what the audience

thinks. Smith’s only hope is that the play goes up on time.

Source: Hd.housedivided.dickinson.edu

Henry Clay will judge you if you don’t go watch the show.

“A Complete History of Kentucky (the Interesting Parts)” will be playing April 10-12 at 7:30 p.m. each night in the Ruth Pierce Wilson Lab Theatre.

Issue 9 3/4

ArtsEntertainment

April 1, 2015 Page 9

The Cinematic Conundrum

By AUSTIN CONWAY Contributing Writer “The Order: 1886” seemed doomed from the start. From the very beginning the game’s developer, Irvine based Ready at Dawn, seemed adamant about using the word “filmic” to describe their game. Countless pre–release interviews and marketing campaigns continued to stress the “cinematic” nature of the Victorian-Era action adventure. Suffice to say that upon release, the game’s “cinematic” design was targeted by disgruntled fans and journalists as a massive determent of enjoyment. Perhaps what is most telling is the juxtaposition between what the creators said versus how the audience perceived the concept, resulting in a message lost in translation.

As of late there seems to be a powerful prejudice against the term and whatever implications that come with it. Some PlayStation owners already seemed to have their mind made up before “The Order: 1886’s” release based of the word “cinematic” alone.

Present is a contrast between how the word is perceived versus how it is intended. Often, video game fans use the word “cinematic” and instantly think of less interaction and more emphasis on passive cut-scenes (essentially mini-movies) to convey the game’s story. “The Order: 1886” certainly committed its fair share of fouls in that regard (cutscenes) but it also progressed the “cinematic” technique forward in a positive way.

The game’s creators sought to stress the importance of presentation during actual gameplay, opting to bring a sense of genuine cinematography to video games. The attributes of physical lenses were mimicked, emphasizing a specific sense of depth or scope. Ready at Dawn sought to recreate film’s imperfections

as a means to sell the visual aesthetic; curvature of the camera lens, the use of chromatic aberration, and even specs of dirt falling on the camera were all visual elements present while in play.

The result was a game that bucked the visual trend of most games, giving us a dirty/flawed perception as opposed to the unnaturally crisp “GGI” look of most video games. Simply put, “The Order” wasn’t successful at being cinematic when it was taking control away to show you something, it was truly “cinematic” when you were involved.

The modern day definition of “cinematic” is a stark contrast to how the term was used in generations past.

“Cinematic” was once understood as something completely passive in the days of the PS2 and Nintendo GameCube, the term at one point literally translated referred to a video sequence, a “Cut-scene” as we now know them.

As technology evolved however the ability to do things in the video game’s native engine expanded and understanding of the term changed. Cinematic as it stands today refers to the utilization of cinema’s techniques in how they relate to actual gameplay.

What was once a noun has now morphed into an adjective.

Cinematic as we know it today is close to the concept of cinematography, focusing on specific methods and techniques found in other mediums. One of the most striking techniques adpaoted by video games are film-like dynamic camera angles used during actual gameplay. In their infancy games stuck with a static shot displaying the entire series of action. Games like “Pong,” “Pac-Man,” and “Space-Invaders” illustrate that the only movement on the screen are the characters and not the screen itself. The late 1980’s would introduce fans to a presentation that tracked player movement from space to

space, as seen with games like “Mario Bros” and the over world view of “The Legend of Zelda.” Video game consoles in the early 1990’s would introduce a second analogue stick which would allow the camera to turn in a full 360 degrees pan in order to display the fully realized environment.

Within the last several years story tellers have taken on the role of director, carefully depicting what the player sees on his screen with various camera techniques typically reserved for cinema. Recently, popular games like “Journey,” “Uncharted 3,” and the “God of War” series use camera angles to specifically display sequences of importance with careful framing.

For example, a certain moment might utilize a sweeping camera pan during gameplay to emphasize scope and establish location. Other moments might be more personal in relation to the character, requiring the camera to pull in tight in order to capture specific facial reactions.

The art of acting in video games is something else that has been enhanced by the continued effort to improve a game’s “cinematic” standing. Earlier games relied on text and simple imagery to get the story across. Films like 2009’s “Avatar” and the motion performance capture used have gone on to directly affect performances found in video games as well, resulting in characters who are easier to emphasize with based off how genuine the performances are perceived. Hollywood actors Kevin Spacey recently lent his performance to Activision’s “Call of Duty” series. The game, “Advanced Warfare,” was able to perfectly capture the actor’s mannerism along with his voice, therefore lending to the game’s immersion by having the actor fully act out the performance.

Playing this week in Georgetown: “Get Hard” “Home” “Home” (3D) “The Divergent Series: Insurgent” “The Divergent Series: Insurgent” (3D) “Cinderella” “The Gunman” Go see some movies!!

Opinion The Georgetonian Stop the road rage, you idiot

Page 10

The Georgetonian

Editor-in-Chief.....Eric “The ‘Sick’ Guy Who ‘Edits’” Balmer Managing Editor................ Hannah “Of Tardiness” Krieger News Editor.........................Andrea “Table–Flipper” Bellew S&R Editor.......... Hannah “Dude, I Was On Time!” Krieger Features Editor....................... Kaitlin “Leaves Early” Fahey A&E Editor.................Brooke “Queen Of The Cats” Whitaker Opinion Editor................... Evan “@GivinYouMoore” Moore Back Page Editor................Fiona “MeowcElrath” McElrath Web Editor .................... ......................Kate “Who?” Doctor Photo Editor............................Angel “Paparazzi” Woodrum Technical Editor.....................Nathan “Wasn’t Here” Smith Copy Editor................... Cassidy “Fixes Everything” Clayton Copy Editor................................... Hannah “Again?” Krieger Copy Editor................. Brooke “‘Hates’ Sarcasm” Whitaker Faculty Adviser...............Jennifer “The Real Boss” Beckett

The Georgetonian is a free weekly newspaper published most Wednesdays during the academic year by Georgetown College in Georgetown, Ky. Its contents are written and edited by current students of Georgetown College.

Letters to the editor should be under 600 words and should include the writer’s name and telephone number.

Letters may be edited for clarity and brevity. Please send letters to one of the following addresses:

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By KAYLA BOSWELL Staff Writer There has been a problem in our society that has increasingly spread throughout the country. In fact, it could be called a disease that is hereditary as the children of parents have this problem as well.

What is this dastardly issue?

Well, it’s road rage, my friends.

Yes, this is an important issue that must be brought up.

So, let’s look at some possibilities of why someone has road rage and how to fix them.

Obviously, everyone driving on the road is wrong. How dare they go into the other lane with a blinker; clearly they are cutting you off. Oh, and for those who forget to switch their blinker, they are always in the wrong. Then there is the person who is a car length behind you, and they are obviously on the butt of your car.

On a normal circumstance, when someone is “riding your glutes,” you should always see their beautiful, radiant face in your mirror. In fact, you should be able to see their eye color; look at that lovely shade of blue.

Hm… What else? There is always that person who cuts in front of you, with or without a blinker. They can come so close that their tail end greets your front end (how dare they!), yet if you hit them it will be your fault. Ah, people are lovely, aren’t they? Then there are those who have issues with reading the speed limit signs.

These people are those who drive so slow you are stuck

behind them driving maybe and take really long turns and five miles under the speed stops, if you are not on the limit and the fact that every highway that is. The only way car’s speedometer is different to get rid of those glute–loving doesn’t count in this equation. drivers on the highway is to Oh no, how dare the people switch the lane or just chill with do the speed limit from their them being on your lovely butpoint of vision. There are also tocks. So, not on the highway, those that drive 20 miles over you should take your time at the speed limit and NEVER stop signs, making sure that no get a ticket. No, the po–po like children are crossing the road to pull over anyone who does at two in the morning. Also, 10–15 miles over the speed take turns slowly (if you are limit. The others must be too making a turn) just to double fast for those po–po. check no children or random There are many other animals are crossing. This is things that road raging people most successful in urban areas. can complain about, but it is The people behind you will time to go into solutions to hate your soul, but you got some of these problems. To your revenge. start off (let us assume you are Another solution to solve the driver with the road rage the road rage pandemic in and this is obviously the most America is to get a flying car important solution) everyone or invest in your own airplane. must accommodate to your Maybe a transformer would driving. If they admit your be a good decision. That way driving skills are superior to you won’t have to drive the theirs and they do everything car. Well, whatever the situaright to make sure they never tion, be safe out there. People get in your way, obviously can get a bit cray–cray on the you would have nothing to roads. be angry about. Or perhaps, everyone should just get off the road for you. Then you will never have an issue of everyone ALWAYS being in the wrong.

Then there are those who ride your bumper. The obvious solution, instead of getting mad at them, is something that only an evil, conniving and revengeful Source: Todaymade.com person would do.

No traffic, but it’s still a road.

That is slow down

Issue 9 3/4

This Page is a Joke

April 1, 2015 Page 11

I NEED TO BE FIRED RIGHT NOW

By EVAN MOORE Opinion Editor

I’m an awful employee.

I show up late almost every week, I’m never on top of the articles I assign, and I just used an Oxford comma, which evidently YOU CAN’T DO IN JOURNALISM. My close friend, fraternity brother, and Georgetonian boss, Eric Balmer, is even worse. He sits on Facebook for the first two hours of the Georgetonian office hours, invites his friends to visit, eats on the job, disrespects his employees, fires me at least three times per week, and forgets his employees’ names.

He is literally a modern King George III, except that he doesn’t do anything.

I don’t do anything either.

Eric called in last week,

saying he was “sick.”

Our Managing Editor, who was Editor–in–Chief last year, Hannah, had to take over for him. And if any of you read the paper last week, you can see the obvious improvement from previous papers this semester.

We wrote better because we actually like Source: Blog.eogn.com her.

Eric’s not only an Happy April Fool’s Day, everybody! atrocious boss, he’s really strict and harsh in his convic- He is Bud Light, and I am tions. Also, he stands over Miller Light. Not that much me making me write because, better, and still bad, but a again, I don’t do anything. slight improvement.

The Lord has called me to I’m writing this right now, bring to life all of Eric’s vices– and he’s mad because he like playing on his phone as wants to go home. The Copy I’m typing this.

Editors are mad, too. Furious, Basically, if you want actually. Possibly livid. something to compare us by, But T Swift is jamming in he is Saruman; I am Boromir. the background, so how bad

can it be?

Like I said, I’m a terrible Opinion Editor. No one has ever been worse.

I actually took the time tonight to write an entire article spelling out why I should be fired for real.

My first week, I took a short break about halfway through editing to walk around and get rid of some extra energy; when I returned, Eric was punching holes in the wall to test how strong his biceps had gotten.

That’s just normal for the Georgetonian evidently.

If you haven’t realized it yet, I make fun of Eric nearly constantly. It’s easily in my top three favorite passtimes, along with wasting his time and making a mockery out of his job.

I’m drinking a Cherry Coke and having casual conversations with Hannah and Brooke while all of the other section editors left about thirty minutes ago.

Obviously he made the wrong decision in who to hire.

There probably should have been a better hiring process including an FBI background check, intensive interrogations and hazing. Now I just hope he fixes his mistake. *Note*: Everything written in this article is a complete joke.

Only a fifth of this is actually real. Eric is one of my favorite people, a fantastic friend, and a better brother. Love that guy. Happy April Fool’s Day, everyone!

And more people should write for the Georgetonian.

We pay. And that’s not a joke.

Spring fever is here and well alive

By FIONA McELRATH BackPage Editor

Ah, spring: rebirth, flowers blooming, bracelets that flee when the trees start to bloom.

The squirrels would like to thank Grounds for digging up their acorns for them. In their words, or churrups as it were, “We can fatten up a lot more easily without having to run around looking for the food.”

For many years I have heard the term ‘spring fever,’ but until five minutes ago, I had not looked up the definition. Google told me it was, in essence, the jitters. Think about

when you’ve had too much caffeine and just want to run up a tree (“We do that all the time!” ~Squirrel) or in circles around a building. That, my dears, is spring fever.

The hawks thank the grounds people for digging up the squirrels’ food for them. *”Circle Of Life” plays, cut off by a hawk screech* I must admit, when I read the definition, I immediately thought of the March Hare from “Alice in Wonderland”.

Even if you have not read the book, I’m sure you have all seen one version of the movie or another. The March Hare—

no, not the white rabbit, the other animal with long ears— is very jittery and suspicious all the time. This is, as you can gather, the effect of spring fever. This bunny is in a state of hyperactivity, and probably does have the ability to run up a tree or around a building—a few times, in fact.

The White Rabbit would like to advise everyone not to be late to class after Easter.

Thank you.

Since spring break ended, the energy of campus has been rather mediocre. Papers and projects are killers, but we are so close to the end! I think we

could all use a little spring fever in our systems right about now.

The Caterpillar will be happy to share his pipe with any weary college student who happens to wander to his mushrooms.

I do hope, however, that none of you find yourselves suffering from Spring fevers.

This warm weather should warm us up, but not that much. Sinuses and fevers are pesky plagues, and they should be avoided at all costs in this beautiful time of year.

If you do find yourselves trapped inside due to aller-

gens, try entertaining yourselves with a game of chess or some nice riddles. The Mad Hatter and Gollum, it is rumored, are preparing for a Riddle–off. Winner gets any metal object he chooses—but you didn’t hear it from me.

I hope you enjoy the bright, warm, sometimes rainy, always interesting Kentucky weather this long weekend. Remember rebirth, resurrection, homework—and hey, read some sad Latin poetry while you’re at it.

THE BACKPAGE A Tale of Two Georgetonians, Part Two Yo: I AM IMMORTALLLLLLLLL!!

By FICELRATH and Friends BackPage Editors Suddenly, FicElrath appeared with two wild Georgetonians, when suddenly everyone realized that these were two dead Georgetonians who had suddenly appeared. They said “Suddenly—” before someone cut them off by pointing out that they were using the word “suddenly” too much (thanks a lot, copy editors). At Rucker, a dog barked in protest. Chocolate rain began to fall (despite them all being safely inside and every window securely shut). Chaos ensued.

The Georgtonian editors frowned

Your time at the BackPage has passed.

You are not welcome here.”

“Now now, Bric,” FicElrath said.

“Haven’t you ever heard of cameos by past editors?” She turned to T–Philly.

“Is that wall–shattering enough or do we need something a little stronger?”

Source: Mpl.Joyreactor.cc

Disco Lights may not like chocolate rain, but Pinkie Pie is all about that life.

Source: Melisinka.com

RIP Philly and Fralisons—wait, resurrected?! I guess I’ll need to find a different use for this tombstone... at the two wonders who had entered with FicElrath. Finally, after an appropriately long and slightly awkward silence had followed, Mvan leaned over to Bndrea and whispered, “Who are they again?”

“Relics from the distant past. Ghosts of what once was. Who am I kidding? I don’t know either.”

The disco lights that had been in full flare about the two “relics” now dimmed, their jobs having been completed, and retreated back out the door before the chocolate rain could damage them. Bric Ealmer rose to meet the intruders. “A. Fralisons and T–Philly.

“Stronger,” A. Fralisons and T– Philly responded in one voice. “Mr. Ealmer, tear down this (fourth) wall!”

Let the truth of the BackPage spill out into Georgetonia and reveal...The Truth! *insert ominous music here as the Georgetonian band gets a shout out* Suddenly (oops), through a combination of loud noise and Bric Ealmer’s order to “tear down” the fourth wall, the fourth wall proceeded to shatter.

[Editor’s Note: I am not cleaning that up.] [Neither am I!] Time and space began to bend, and all of the editors were morphed into a single entity, crumpled up like a ball of mailroom fliers in a recycling bin. This isn’t even a metaphor; they actually were paper.

They had become the Georgetonian itself. A sentient, talking Georgetonian.

And lo, the Georgetonian told this parable: Not too long ago, Georgetonian Powers that Be had realized there were five hundred and one organizations and only five hundred students.

After a quick, strategic meeting, they

decided that, instead of paying to keep all the organizations and clubs active, they would assign each student a club which they would then embody, and the funds for said clubs would go into their financial aid.

“But,” A Fralisons interjected, pointing at the Swiss cheese elephant in the room, “we still have to pay the school for 85 years after we graduate (‘an excessive amount of moolah, if you ask me,’ T–Philly added), so more tuition now isn’t going to make a diff–” [Editor’s Note: We can’t say that, can we?]

The Georgetonian benevolently decided to overlook this interruption and continued; however, it was becoming rapidly more difficult to make out the words this miraculous being was enunciating due to the cranes and bricks and student workers who had just arrived to rebuild the fourth wall.

“Dear Reader,” the sentient wall began, “What are you doing? We only have a few more weeks of school left.

Shouldn’t you be doing homework?”

“Now now, Georgetonian,” FicElrath said, stepping in the way of the workers and nearly getting hit in the head by a brick. “I just brought two resurrected Georgetonians back from the dead, and all you can do is talk about

Source: Shutterstock.com, Oragami-make.com

The Georgetonian, as its final act of defiance against being discontinued, has become a sentient being—Disco Lights and all.

homework and parables?”

The newspaper was growing in size and bricks were raining down all around them, causing random puffs of ink to form into words that made no sense. Ronald Reagan tomato–ing to flamingos; is Pink Floyd in this hizzouse? Let’s get some pancakes ova here! Woo! What? It’s funny because the robot ain’t got no arms. “Hey!” Yes. [Editor’s Note: I don’t even know what to do with this. There’s no structure to follow, no grammar. Oxford Commas I understand, but this? I can’t work under these conditions!]

Obscure references were flying about and sticking to the growing monstrosity like burrs on a Himalayan long–haired cat—”Mr. Gorbachev, tear

Source: Facebook.com, Ru.Dreamstime.com

T–Philly was a robot this whole time?

No wonder things are going haywire! down this wall! Ich bin ein Berliner!”

[Editor’s Note: This reference is over 50 years old and kids these days won’t get it. We suggest that if you’re curious, you promptly try writing a letter to Putin exclaiming your lack of knowledge about his country’s awesomeness.

Note: The Georgetonian accepts no responsibility for any accidental assassination attempts which may result if you do in fact, “try writing to Putin a letter,”] Finally, someone remarked: “Wait a minute—isn’t this the April Fool’s issue?”