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Table of Contents 05............EIC Letter 07............Agenda
Hit or Bullshit What’s on our Playlist
08............Grand Theft Auto 5 09............Finding Good Food
10............Power House Women
In Politics Who Run the World, Girls ............Civil War Wikileaks What’s in a Name? ............Orange is the New Buffalo
11 14 15............He Said/She Said
Grades, Games, and Government ............Movie Musicals Casting Makes all the Difference ............Literary Submissions ............Literary Semantics of an Apple Peel ............Literary Submissions ............Literary Submissions ............Parting Shots Check Your Din at the Door The Next Step
18 19 20 21 22
Cover designed by Emily Butler, Steve Bernhardt, Babita Persaud. Photos taken by Steve Bernhardt. Photo source from all credits goes to respective photographer. http://www.djshadow.com (3), http://www.artrix.co.uk (3) Generation Magazine is owned by Sub-Board I, Inc., the student service corporation at the State University of New York at Buffalo. The Sub-Board I, Inc. Board of Directors grants editorial autonomy to the editorial board of Generation. Sub-Board I, Inc. (the publisher) provides funding through mandatory student activity fees and is in no way responsible for the editorial content, editorial structure or editorial policy of the magazine. Editorial and business offices for Generation are located in Suite 315 in the Student Union on North Campus. The telephoane numbers are (716) 645-6131 or (716) 645-2674 (FAX). Address mail c/o Room 315 Student Union University at Buffalo, Amherst, NY 14260. Submissions to Generation Magazine should be e-mailed to firstname.lastname@example.org by 1p.m. Tuesday, a week before each issue’s publication. This publication and its contents are the property of the students of the State University of New York at Buffalo 2013 by Generation Magazine, all rights reserved. The first 10 copies of Generation Magazine are free. Each additional copy must be approved by the editor in chief. Requests for reprints should be directed to the editor in chief. Generation Magazine neither endorses nor takes responsibility for any claims made by our advertisers. Press run 5,000. ≠≠≠
Dirty Dirty Dirty crossword
Editor’s Letter To Whom It May Concern:
With the government shutdown in full force, I thought I would remind everyone that it could be worse. Here are some gems from Dubyah’s time in office: “I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn’t here.” --at the President’s Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002
“We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.” --Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001 “You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.” -Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001 “I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.” --Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001 “Tribal sovereignty means that; it’s sovereign. I mean, you’re a -- you’ve been given sovereignty, and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities.” --Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004 “I couldn’t imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah.” --at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001 “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” --interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006 “The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th.” --Washington, D.C., July 12, 2007 “I’m the commander -- see, I don’t need to explain -- I do not need to explain why I say things. That’s the interesting thing about being president.” --as quoted in Bob Woodward’s Bush at War
“Oh, no, we’re not going to have any casualties.” --discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson in 2003, as quoted by Robertson
“I think I was unprepared for war.” –on the biggest regret of his presidency, ABC News interview, Dec. 1, 2008
“I will not withdraw, even if Laura and Barney are the only ones supporting me.” --talking to key Republicans about Iraq, as quoted by Bob Woodward
STAFF 2013 Editor in Chief Keighley Farrell Managing Editor Angelina Bruno Creative Director Emily Butler
“I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft.” --presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
Assistant Creative Director Babita Persaud
“I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” --Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000
Photo Editor Steve Bernhardt
“Do you have blacks, too?” --to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001
Web Editor Gabi Gosset
“This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating.” --as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002
Copy Editor Audrey Foppes
“I don’t think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees.” --on “Good Morning America,” Sept. 1, 2005, six days after repeated warnings from experts about the scope of damage expected from Hurricane Katrina
Associate Editors Laura Borschel Jori Breslawski Sushmita Sircar
“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” --Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
Circulation Director Matt Benevento
“I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound largemouth bass in my lake.” --on his best moment in office, interview with the German newspaper Bild am Sonntag, May 7, 2006
Business Manager Nick Robin
“They misunderestimated me.” --Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000
Assistant Ad Manager Adinda Anggriadipta Contributing Staff Adam Johnson Cara Shelhamer 05
$10 off all wood plugs sale ends October 31st
t T I i H ullsh B
According to a study cited by the New York Times, reading literary fiction measurably makes people more empathetic than reading popular fiction or non-fiction, or not reading at all. Another reason to take English classes, if any were ever needed.
T I H S ULL
BBC’s Season 3 of Sherlock still isn’t out. At this rate my sole reason for surviving this semester is fast fading away.
FU- Miley Cyrus Royals- Lorde Racing Stripes- Aesop Rock Fire- Big Sean Do My Thang- Miley Cyrus Beware- Big Sean Holy Grail- Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake The Mariner’s Revenge-The Decemberists Bone Machine-The Pixies L’air de rien-Margaux Avril
Holiday Hollow is open!!! As Western New York’s only pirate-themed outdoor festival, the experience is totally unique—swordfights, tea parties, forest adventures, haunted hotels, dark mazes, and more! Grab a costume and head out to their shire on Route 5 in Pembroke. It seriously is just the greatest way to get into the Halloween spirit.
T I H S ULL
What is this, finals week?! Why is my essay supposed to be 15 pages long? It’s only October!
October 16th: Feral Cat Day!
Don’t be afraid to touch strange animals today. Take them home even. They may not have their shots, but neither do we, so don’t worry about it. 07
There’s no surprise that there is plenty of crime, misrepresentation and overall madness in Rockstar’s new sequel to the popular Grand Theft Auto series. While these aspects of the game weren’t expected to change much, there are some new additions to the game that might actually expand the target audience past its current state. With the addition of online and the versatility that it brings to the playstyle of the game, Grand Theft Auto V brings more than just villainy to the streets of Los Santos, which is over four times as large as Liberty City from IV. The story mode (or single player) has changed significantly. Now there are three main characters, each with their own unique storyline, missions, ability, car, and house. You can switch between the characters any time to do the different missions for the different characters. While you are playing one character, the other characters still act on their own in the story. You may switch from Franklin to Trevor to find him waking up in the middle of a freeway or to Michael getting yelled at by his spoiled brat son. There are also missions that incorporate all of the three characters together. When you do one of these missions, you have to switch between the characters to complete the mission in its entirety. There are also now random events in the single player mode that happen as you explore the city, almost akin to Red Dead Redemption. You might see some womanizer being kicked out of his own house or someone almost getting kidnapped. You can inter-
vene and then they will ask you for a ride. Whether you take them to where they would like to go to be safe or you take them to a much worse fate is up to you. These random events really help to make the exploration of the city even more rewarding and interesting than it was before. Of course there is still the star warning system where you gain more stars depending on the crimes you are committing. Just like in previous games, more stars means more cops, helicopters, and even the military if you wreak enough havoc. Unlike the previous GTA titles, the AI is more intelligent and less overwhelmingly present. In the last game, it seemed as if cops were everywhere and as soon as you committed a crime, you already had a star or two. In this game, however, once you commit a crime, it might take a bit for someone to call the police and for them to respond, and sometimes, you can even get away with it without even getting a single star. When you do get stars, you can now choose to hide from the police if you don’t want to keep fighting. The real sweeping change in this iteration of the GTA franchise is Grand Theft Auto Online. In this multiplayer online mode, you can play your own character in the same immensely huge city of Los Santos. You start by customizing the look of your character by choosing your four grandparents and seeing how their looks influence your character’s looks. This is an interesting and new approach to character customization that is rather surprising from a GTA title. You
Article By: Gabrielle Gosset
also choose their lifestyle which affects their appearance and skills such as driving, flying, stealth, etc. After you customize your character, you are thrown right into the city with characters from the story mode helping you to get situated in Los Santos. You begin by going through some basic tutorial-type missions. You go to a garage to customize a car (which of course you need to steal from someone) and then add a tracker to your car so you can always find it on the map. You then enter instances that you can find throughout the city. Some are deathmatches where you fight either in teams or alone in various locations or with different vehicles to win. There are also races where you can race vehicles from bicycles to ATVs, boats, and custom cars. You can even play sports like tennis or golf against people. Every match you enter will earn you experience and money to help you level up. As you increase in level, you unlock more of the game, making online feel rewarding and satisfying. You can even buy apartments and garages. There is going to be new content added periodically and the PC version is slated to come out soon, although there is no set release date as of yet. It seems that with the addition of online, there’s a little bit of everything in this game. Is it still outrageous and offensive? Absolutely. But it still seems as if Rockstar is trying to reach out to other gamer demographics, even if they’re not reaching that far away.
As a college student, finding a decent meal can often be a challenge. Gone are the days when one could come home to a wholesome home-cooked dinner and simply eat without worrying about nutritional value or possible side-effects on your well-being. Our campus has a few dining halls and fast food stops, but they’re full of pizzas, French fries, and chicken fingers – hardly food for thought. Hearing terms like hormones, pesticides, and genetically modified organisms being thrown in with discussions about our food sources in the media recently is down right horrifying. WHAT THE HECK IS IN OUR FOOD?! Hormones are given to livestock to make them grow faster, and to cows to make them produce more milk. Our growing population is requiring more and more food, and no one has the time to wait around for livestock to grow naturally. The FDA approves the use of hormones in “safe” levels and it sets the safe limits of hormones in meat. Is there really a safe level of synthetic hormones? With the price of a McDouble at a dollar, and a wallet running low on the green stuff– it’s hard to pass up a quick and easy meal. Buying fresh and organic food can often be a burden, though students really should be fueling themselves with food that will help them through heavy workloads and intense study sessions.Luckily though with a quick trip off campus, there are a few places that have the stuff that we need -- an abundance of fresh fruits, meats, vegetables, and even organic snack foods like chips and cookies needed for midterm preparation. The Feel Rite Fresh Market, located at 3912 Maple Road, is an all-organic supermarket. It also sells various organic shampoos, soaps, lotions and other beauty items. Walking into Feel Rite for the first time was a little overwhelming, they have almost anything organic that anyone could think of – even the most hardcore organic consumer. But for the first timer, stay away from the free samples of organic fish oil and try their delicious organic fruits and vegetables - they are priced better than organics in most of the other grocery stores in the area. The Feel Rite Fresh Market also accepts UB’s Campus Cash, so your parents can contribute to your healthy living endeavors. A grocery store from California called Trader Joes is opening near the Target Plaza on Niagara Falls Boulevard in Amherst on the 11th of October. Apparently the grocery store is themed after a trading post and its employee’s are decked out in touristy Hawaiian shirts. And if that doesn’t sell you immediately, they have a large variety of unique organic (and non organic) foods that vary from store to store. I can’t wait to see what Trader Joe’s has; they have been causing a lot of excitement around town. Wegmans is a favorite grocery store of mine, and it originated in my hometown of Webster, NY. They -have a wide selection of organic produce, meat, drinks, snacks, and more, which are always very delicious. Sometimes it seems the organics here can be a bit pricey though, so watch out for sales and coupons. And for the UB students who don’t have transportation to the far lands off of our campus, outside of Capen Hall there is a Farmers Market every Wednesday. They sell fresh, locally grown fruit, vegetables, syrups, honeys, and snacks. They are also selling locally grown pumpkins, so you can dress up your dorm with a sweet Jack-o-Lantern with an image of Miley Cyrus twerking carved into it for Halloween. Happy Eating!
Finding Good Food Around Campus Article By: Cara Shelhamer
“Our growing population is requiring more and more food, and no one has the time to wait around for livestock to grow naturally” 09
b o y G i r ls Run the World s Article By: Jori Breslawski
Disclaimer: I am a feminist. I didn’t even realize it until about a year ago. Before that, I thought that feminists were bra burning crazy people that hated that male species. I don’t hate boys at all; I simply think that women are better than men. And although I cannot prove that female supremacy exists in all aspects of life, there is hard core evidence that women are better at running the world. According to the World Bank, government corruption declines as more women are elected into office. In addition, numerous studies found that women are more likely to exhibit helping behavior, score higher on integrity tests, and take stronger stances on ethical behavior. Women in office secure almost 10 percent more federal funding than their male colleagues and introduce about twice as many bills. Finally, they are more likely to consider the rights of others and take a cooperative approach to decisionmaking. But enough with the statistics; I want to highlight some powerhouse women in politics who embody the fact that women are a force to be reckoned with. Angela Merkel has been No. 1 on the Forbes most powerful women list seven times in the last 10 years. She has served as chancellor of Germany since 2005 as undoubtedly the backbone of the European Union (EU). She has led Germany through the economic crisis, accomplishing a 5.3 percent unemployment rate, a balanced budget, and steady growth. Merkel initially trained as a physical chemist and entered politics in the wake of the Revolutions of 1989, when she served briefly as the deputy spokesperson for the East German Government.
In 2007, Merkel was President of the European Council and was the second woman to chair the G8 (the other being Margaret Thatcher). In addition, she played a critical role in the negotiation of the Treaty of Lisbon and the Berlin Declaration. Domestically, she has made healthcare reform and future energy development central components of her tenure. However, her greatest feat has been managing the financial crisis at the European and international level. Samantha Power, President Obama’s new ambassador to the United Nations (UN), is just starting to make her diplomatic debut. However, she has been at the forefront of foreign policy for years. Nearly a year before the chemical weapons attack in Syria, Ms. Power was quietly urging President Obama to approve a military strike to stop what she called the “grotesque tactics” of President Bashar al-Assad. Now, as an active member of the Security Council, she hopes to lay the groundwork for broader talks on ending the bloody civil war. In the past, Ms. Power has been a senior aide on the National Security Council, a role in which she helped to orchestrate the 2011 American intervention in Libya. She has also been a war reporter, a role in which she was among the first to chronicle the ethnic cleansing of Sudan, slipping into rebel-held villages in Darfur and visiting refugee camps. In earlier years as a freelancer, Ms. Power spent time in Bosnia, where she documented the systematic rape of Muslim women. It has been said by diplomatic counterparts at the UN that she Ms. Power is “already a celebrity”.
Madeleine Rees is a heroin of women’s rights who was fired in 2010 from the UN for revealing its dark underbelly. A former discrimination lawyer, Ms. Rees began working as Head of Office in Bosnia and Herzegovina as the gender expert for the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights (UN) in 1998. During her time there, she discovered and helped to expose human rights abuses related to human trafficking and the sex trade in Bosnia. She became known as a whistleblower when she revealed that UN employees were participating in the horrific sex trafficking that plagued the region. In 2009, Rees was demoted and then fired the next year. It was ruled as a wrongful dismissal, however the office of the High Commissioner denied the charges, arguing that Rees had been reassigned to a new position due to complaints by senior managers about her job performance (AKA they were sick of her being a good person so they wanted to get rid of her). She now serves as the Secretary General for Women’s International League of Peace and Freedom (WILPF), an organization that strives to promote women’s presence in the peace building process and defend human rights. These women are all unique in the ways they have contributed to the good of the world, but they are all powerhouses in their own right. Each of them has had a significant impact on a variety of global issues, from the economic crisis to human rights, and they will continue to be living examples of why women are kick-ass leaders. We run the world—girls.
What’s in a
ne of the first things any student of politics learns is that government is a contract. Citizens surrender certain rights to the government in the name of security, whether that security is of life, property, or other rights. The balance between security and liberty is essential for the modern world to persist, and the location of that balance has been one of the key debates in modern political thought. It is in this light that one must try to take a nuanced view on the rather troubling actions of our government highlighted in the recent NSA leaks. How do we view a government that spies on its own people with unchecked, undefined power? Under the massive cover of ‘national security’, a phrase so slim of definition at this point that it appears meaningless, the National Security Agency has engaged in acts which if committed by the individual may be deemed highly illegal. Many of the leaks so far have shown the agency’s penetration of foreign agencies and officials. Yet the danger remains that such actions can (and possibly already are) being enacted against American citizens deemed dangerous to the government. Despite the Obama’s administration adamant denial of domestic spying, it seems illogical
to the point of absurdity that the national security apparatus would develop such a highly sophisticated information system and not use it at least in part for homeland security. Even the NSA is starting to admit it has the capability: Chief General Keith Alexander told Congress recently that the agency had conducted tests in 2010 and 2011 to see if it was possible to track cell phones throughout the country. How are we to feel about this? Security is complicated, should we really not trust our government to do right? Perhaps if we examine the reverse of this question, a brighter light can be shone on the matter. So, does our government trust us? A major part of the Snowden leaks was the revelation of the NSA’s decryption program, which would unlock encrypted emails, as well as banking and medical records. The operation was codenamed BULLRUN. Perhaps in examining this name, the NSA’s thought process will open up to the rest of us. BULLRUN refers to the Battle of Bull Run, the first major land battle of the American Civil War. It was the bloodiest battle up to that point in the fighting, the clearest reminder that the United States was clearly and violently divided. To
choose such a battle as a code name for encryption software seems odd. Unless, of course, the name represents a general attitude, an institutionalized feeling of what is really happening in America today. The choice of a Civil War battle to codename a spying operation suggests not just conflict, but an internal conflict: it seems like the NSA is waging a desperate fight against a rebellious American public, whose very existence threatens the stability of government. Of course, this is hyperbole. The NSA is not running down Americans with bayonets and firing cannons at forts. But the NSA could have used any name for their program; they could have used any battle throughout American history if battle was the feeling they wanted to invoke. Yet they chose a battle that defined the great divide in American society, a battle which clearly showed reconciliation would not be found until one side was utterly crushed. Names are important. They convey not only a specific concept, but a feeling or mood as well. Governments love naming things to invoke a certain feeling for their own ends. Thus Iran, Iraq and North Korea aren’t ‘three countries with foreign policies that may not be compatible
with ours’ but “the axis of evil”. Heck, 9/11 conceptually is just the date of a terrorist attack, but now that name invokes a wide range of emotional responses, from sadness to anger to fear. Knowing the importance of names, one cannot just shrug off Operation BULLRUN as a quaint bit of patriotism. The NSA could have named it after the Battle of the Somme or Guadalcanal, yet they chose a domestic war. Breaking into email accounts and tracing cell phones are being equated with the bloody resistance of the American government against another. It seems that in the NSA’s eyes, the public are the enemy. Any citizen has the possibility of harming the government; therefore the structure must be set in place to find them at any time. The actions and words of the NSA suggest war, even as the country is quiet. The social contract is only pertinent if both sides trust the other. Of course, I may be reading too far into the words and actions of a domestic institution. But if these clues do lead to a greater truth, then the question must be asked: if the government doesn’t truly trust us, how can we trust it?
Article By: Adam Johnson 11
Photos By: Steve Bernhardt
Orange is the new buffalo
Article By: Laura Borschel I had known for a while the prison system in the U.S. wasn’t great. I knew that most prisoners were treated poorly - most of them racial or ethnic minorities who had the odds stacked against them - that the majority of people in prison didn’t even have a high school education, and other, rather shocking facts. After all, I had grown up in a town that had two prisons at its center: Wendy Correctional Facility and Attica State Prison. I grew up in close proximity to both of the complexes and have driven by each of them more times than I can honestly remember. I knew friends’ parents who worked as prison guards or who were somehow connected to the existence of both prisons. It was a part of the fabric of my town and our collective experience to which none of us gave much thought. The prisons had always been there and they were here to stay. The gears in my head however, slowly started turning after I began doing some more research on the prison system after a friend of mine had a horrifying experience at the Erie County Holding Center, a place that has become notorious for its high suicide rate and ill treatment of prisoners. I discovered, to my own horror, a country in a severe crisis. With one percent of the population in prison or jail, the U.S. has the highest documented incarceration rate in the world. I couldn’t believe that one in one hundred persons in the U.S. were imprisoned. How was this possible? I had grown up believing that we lived in a land of freedom and opportunity. Something HAD to be wrong.
Unfortunately, I uncovered that a large majority of the problem was institutionalized racism in combination with classism, much of which have to do with social problems that impact those who live in poverty and the automatic assumption of criminal behavior attributed to people of color. It is no secret in the United States that the majority of criminal behavior is assumed to be associated with minorities. The racial stereotypes in relation to criminality surrounding African Americans have a massive impact on the prison system and those who are incarcerated. Currently in the U.S., over 70% of the prison population is made up of people of color. Those who have one of the highest rates of incarceration are black men. The creation of certain laws, racial profiling, and the lack of recourses are all compiling factors that feed into this reality. People of color are now more than ever becoming a disposable population to society and the prison institution. How has this happened? What specific events propelled this? With the “prison boom” of the 70’s and 80’s our country saw a rise in the “solving” of problems with imprisonment. By displacing people into a system that locks them away and causes them to be invisible, societal problems like drug addiction, homelessness, and mental illness are erased from the consciousness of the public and forgotten. The problems, in turn, are not actually solved; they are simply shut under lock and key, along with an entire population of people who have become invisible.
The “War on Drugs” also has played a huge role in treating people of color as a disposable population. The majority of black men who are in prison were convicted of non-violent drug charges, those of which directly coincide and align with the passing of harsher sentences for certain street drugs like crack, a drug which has had a large impact on the black community. Conversely, sentences for drugs like cocaine are not nearly as harsh, a drug, which impacts far more white people. In addition, prison sentences for black men are nearly 20% longer than their white male counter parts that have committed similar crimes. The statistics and research conducted on people of color in prisons only gets worse when looking at the population of people whose age ranges from 20-34. What can be done to solve this crisis irreversibly steeped in the racial inadequacies of our country? Most people would suggest that a massive overhaul of the prison and justice system is necessary. A system that doesn’t fast track people of color to jail and rid them of their voices. A system is needed where the overwhelming majority of people are not disenfranchised due to their ethnicity or race. A true, fair, and just system is absolutely essential. While I may not have all the answers to the questions that I have encountered, I have a lot of time on my hands to figure it out, and hope that one day we will live in a country where incarceration is not the answer to larger issues of social injustice.
d i a S e H he Said S
e By : Articl
grades, games, and government
My personal heroes are Ronald Reagan, Larry the Cable Guy, and Mel Gibson. That being said I don’t feel welcome on campus because there are too many liberal douchebags, how I find my fellow people on campus?
As it happens those are some of my heroes as well (except Larry the Cable Guy. I feel Bill Engvall is far more talented). You should join the club I go to every week. It’s very selective in its membership and we have a really nice clubhouse. Just google The Kompound for more information.
It sounds like you would be interested in the off campus fraternity Kappa Kappa Kappa. It has plenty of social opportunities like large bonfires, costume parties, and Nascar tailgating events, so you can get to know your new brothers.
I have three midterms next week and I haven’t been to class in three weeks or read any of the readings. What can I do to pass?
If you are taking your test in a big lecture hall the easiest thing to do is have someone else take your test for you. Don’t worry about them looking like you or even being the same sex, as no one really checks, just make sure they know your social security number.
Well if you’re writing a paper, I suggest going to lazyrichasshole. org, where they have papers you can buy on a wide range of topics, varying from Hooked On Phonics to English For Business Majors.
I recently purchased Grand Theft Auto 5 and I can’t stop playing it. I have two exams and a paper due next week and I don’t know if I have the self-control to get my work done. What should I do?
Don’t worry, video games can be a surprisingly helpful study tool. GTA is great for learning about subjects ranging from criminal justice to music. If you are taking Geology, play Minecraft. For Astronomy, play Eve Online. If you are a history major, try playing the Total War series or the original Call of Duty.
You should do what I did last year to cope with your stress. What you need to do is start heavily drinking, at least a 12 pack a day, during the critical weeks of your exams. To really commit to this lifestyle you’re going to have to get a drinking buddy that can keep up with you. They will also serve function as a mode of denial. Remember kids, you must commit yourself to everything you do, even your own borderline alcoholism.
I keep hearing that the government is being shutdown. I’m not really sure what that means and I am starting to get worried. Is this something I should be concerned about or is this just more political posturing?
I’m afraid that this government shutdown is super serious business. It’s time to start building a doomsday bunker and stocking up on MRE’s and ammunition. Empty your bank account and invest in liquid assets like jet skis and hot tubs.
All hail the supreme powerful lord Kim Jong-Un.
I heard in a popular and cutting edge on campus periodical, that the university might be shutting down the Stampede (drunk) bus. I rely on the bus for safe transportation and am concerned that a few bad apples are going to ruin it for everyone.
The bus service isn’t going to be shut down, but will be receiving a makeover and rebranding. It will now be known as the UB Party Bus and will cater exclusively to “the bad apple” crowd. Bus riders will have to follow a strict mandatory Blood Alcohol Test to make ensure they are properly inebriated before boarding. Skål!
UB has actually decided to use the majority of our student activity fee to hire Xzibit this year to help solve this pesky problem. Xzibit and the school officials have decided to replace the buses with giant TVs, so we all can watch TV while we TV on our way to TV.
I think my professor for World Civ is super hot. How do I get with her?
The easiest way to get her attention is to start failing the class. Women love men who are vulnerable and being a teacher she will want to help you. Use this to your advantage by going to office hours whenever possible and leaving notes under her windshield wiper. She will love the extra attention and will soon find you irresistible.
How could she not want you already? You’re intelligent, have an eloquent command of the English language, and are more mature than kids your own age. Hell, just her existence as a woman alone means she wants you.
Send your questions to email@example.com!
Casting Makes all the Difference
n the age of the Internet whenever rumors of a movie version of a musical arise, a frenzy of fan excitement ensues online. Dream cast lists are posted and discussion board speculation runs high in the community of theater lovers. Most recently the hype has been about the new movie version of the musical Into the Woods. The circulating photos of cast members in costume have everyone talking. While it is exciting that such a fantastic musical will finally be made into a feature film, it is also easy to have reservations. Many fans have very strong opinions as to who should play their favorite leading roles. While their input is important, ultimately it is up to producers and directors to decide who will star in their projects. With such power in their hands, it is unfortunate that recent adaptations have focused more on “box office appeal” than musical prowess when casting their films. Taking a brief look at classic movie musicals that still hold a place in the heart of movie goers and musical lovers everywhere a common pattern arises; the combination of visually stunning sets and dances, amazing voice talents and acting chops. There has been an evolution in the relationship between movies and musicals. During the “Golden Age” of Hollywood, almost every movie involved grand musical numbers, dazzling costumes and elaborate sets. Judy Garland and Gene Kelly ruled the screens in stories of performers who had to put on a show to save the family farm, ski lodge or studio. Later West Side Story relied less on glamour, and more on vibrant colors and intricate choreography set to Leonard Bernstein’s amazing soundtrack. Films like the Sound of Music focus on story. Compelling narrative along with the combination of lighthearted ditties in juxtaposition with the
Article By: Angelina Bruno
somber realities of maturing and facing a world in conflict has proved timeless for such films. Movie Musicals diminished in popularity for a time with the occasional hit like Annie, with great performances from the likes of Tim Curry and Bernadette Peters. There were also some awful versions of Bye Bye Birdie and Cinderella starring roles filled by George Castanza ala Seinfeld. While these shows had some good songs, sometimes it is just better to cringe at the memory and pretend that these films never existed. A revival of the movie musical began in the early 2000s. Movies like Baz Luhrman’s Moulin Rouge and Rob Marshall’s Chicago helped the musical genre to make a comeback in the film industry by proving that the spirit of the musical could still attract an audience. Other adaptations followed including: Rent, Phantom of the Opera, Across the Universe, Mama Mia and Sweeney Todd. These films reflect a bit of the current confusion in the industry. The question of: What makes a good movie musical today? is hard to answer. Some of the listed adaptations like Rent were cast mostly with their original Broadway stars, creating a fabulous soundtrack for fans to buy and listen to over and over but focus less on making a solid narrative for the screen. Others focus more on big name actors. As much as the love for Meryl Streep, Colin Firth and Pierce Brosnan flows throughout Hollywood, they aren’t the best singers to play roles in Mama Mia. Across the Universe was an experimental piece, using the music of the Beatles and fantastic artistic displays to depict life through the 1950s, 60s and 70s. It pushed the boundaries of the way a musical can be defined
but is certainly not a norm by any standards. Sweeney Todd was a darker piece, that followed Tim Burton’s aesthetic, hauntingly beautiful images and music but it is another exception. The real question is how does one make an extremely popular and successful musical like Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables or Into the Woods just as successful on screen as it was in theaters? While there are many different genres of musicals, the appeal of many is the emotional value and marvelous over the top performances that are characteristic of the stage. It is difficult to capture the same level of excitement on film, that a live audience can experience while interacting with the performers in a theater. In recent movie musical adaptations, director and producers seem to be torn on where the focus of the film should lie. Many, as with Mama Mia, seem to be taking the route of casting big name stars in roles, hoping to draw in moviegoers, to the disappointment of the original work’s fans. The anticipation leading up to Into the Woods is reminiscent of the excitement leading up to the film version of Les Miserables. While the movie and stars were nominated for and received accolades, the film was a lackluster affair to many. Fans of the show were upset by the lack of talented singers in extremely important roles (ahem, Russell Crowe.) Others who did not know the show found it boring because they were listening to poorly sung dialogue. A musical like Les Miserables, in which every scene is sung, cannot rely on star power alone to make it a successful film. If scenes that involving musical numbers (aka all of the scenes) are not done well or sung by powerful singers, then the true magic of the show ceases to exist. Many Les Mis fans have a long list of problems encountered when viewing the recent film adaptation. The revolutionary idea to have the cast sing their parts live during film production may have sounded like a great idea when it first was advertised in teasers for the film, and probably would have been if the director and producers had selected people with the talent to live up to such a feat. We could spend all day discussing Russell Crowe’s failures in the role of Javert—his one note voice, inability to sustain notes and anticlimactic plunge into the Seine River—but the sad part is he was not the only oversight of the film’s casting. Hugh Jackman, while nominated for so many awards, was extremely pitchy. His nasally voice is not pleasant to listen to. Anne Hathaway’s rendition of I Dreamed a Dream had fans complaining from the moment the first preview was leaked via Perez Hilton. There is a difference between playing a gritty role with emotion and just plain not sounding good. Coupled with her Miss America-like acceptance speech at the Oscars, Anne has many haters. As for the younger lead characters, let us compare Amanda Seyfried as Cosette and Samantha Barks as Eponine. Amanda and her often described, classically trained opera voice are really just
not acceptable when there are so many talented young women who could out-sing her easily. Samantha Barks on the other hand has an absolutely amazing voice as evidenced by her performance as Eponine in the 25th Anniversary Les Mis special, but she was completely watered down for movie. Despite it’s diminished state, hers was still the best performance in the whole movie. To sum it up, as a UB film professor enumerated in class, the film was based purely on false dramatization. Close-ups in every scene and the idea that Anne Hathaway was being praised for “suffering for her art” because she cut her damn hair, really upset him. Overall the general lack of emotion caused by the over emoting actors killed the story. It is easy to worry that the same may happen to Into the Woods. Luckily this movie has many positive signs going for it. The director, Rob Marshall, has a fifty-fifty chance of success or failure. Director of the musicals Chicago and Nine—one, a Best Picture Oscar winner and the other a highly anticipated star-studded flop that you may have heard of but probably forgot about—it is difficult to predict how Into the Woods will turn out. The cast is certainly star-studded, boasting names including Meryl Streep as the famed Witch, Emily Blunt as the Baker’s Wife, Anna Kendrick as Cinderella, Chris Pine as Cinderella’s Prince and Johnny Depp as The Wolf. A promising fact about this cast is that the majority of them can actually sing. Anna Kendrick has a great voice. No, I don’t mean Anna’s voice in the auto-tuned style of Pitch Perfect, a cute movie but an extremely manufactured sound, I mean her Tony nominated performances in the musical High Society at age thirteen. Emily Blunt and Johnny Depp also have proved their voices in past films, Blunt in Gideon’s Daughter and Depp in Sweeney Todd. Depp’s voice has a unique quality, a quality I think they tried to achieve by casting Russell Crowe in Les Mis but failed to emulate. While Depp’s voice is not big and full, it still is somehow able to evoke emotion and beautifully sustained notes. Hopefully he will make for an interesting Wolf. Veterans James Corden, who played many of a show in London’s West End Theater district, as The Baker, and Lilla Crawford, who recently played Annie on Broadway, as Little Red Riding Hood are also promising talents in very important roles. The only one that is worrisome, as much as I love her to death, is Meryl Streep. Her voice was not terrible in Mama Mia but it wasn’t great either. Hopefully her amazing acting chops and the fact that the witch is supposed to be kind of gross will even out the odds. As an avid fan of musicals myself, it is very easy to become attached to certain casts, or soundtracks. I hope that Into the Woods will satisfy moviegoers and true fans. When the film premieres December 14th 2014, we will all find out.
The Hang over Poem By: Laura Borschel
It started out simple enough A few beers and a vodka of red bull A drag show and a night that turned rough
Under the guise of twinkiness I had entered the club Looking rather androgynous there were some stares Were they checking me out? Or guessing my gender? While I do not know, I soon had been duped Leaving my drink, A poor decision made Blackness followed with a hangover like adventure. While there were no tigers, babies, or bears, oh my, I had woken in my bed Scratching my head As to what had occurred just a few hours before And so the real quest had began To figure what my night had been
The Semantics of an Apple Peel: Poetic Expeditions in the Allentown Art Scene
As we wound our way through the dark cobbled streets of Allentown after the bawdy day traffic had receded and the sidewalks were all but rolled-up, I couldn’t help but notice the distinctly Bohemian atmosphere of this shadowed corner of our fair city. Murals, collages, and artistic graffiti dressed the crumbling brick of the buildings’ walls more frequently as we neared our destination. The street became painted with the dreams and imaginings of artists and poets, from beautiful portraits to intriguing loops and swirls I knew had begun as letters, but had been transformed into a different language entirely. The images’ existential resonance was accented by some vague music echoing distantly off the cement and plaster of this nearly slumbering city. It was delightfully surreal, a little clichéd, yet decidedly and utterly unique. Welcome to Allentown. Finally, we turned a corner and hopped the curb as our footsteps zeroed in on the golden glow of the windows at The Space. Through the front windows, I could just make out the front-most paintings hanging within the gallery, featuring something that looked awfully like a flaming tyrannosaurus rex. Outside, clusters of people huddled around the red glowing tips of cigarettes under the faint haze of various smokes and aromas. This must be the place. As we edged through the sidewalk-crowd toward the door that hung open in welcome invitation to any and all who cared to join us, I shook the hand of a deep-eyed young man in sagging, faded blue jeans and a clean white undershirt, whom I later discovered to be the chief coordinator of this weekly poetry powwow. I was impressed. His casual sincerity personified precisely the air and attitude of the performances that followed. Stepping into The Space, I was taken aback by the staggering modesty of the cozy little gallery. In a room barely larger than ten by forty feet sat three neat rows of nine chairs, one bench, and a cement structure that looked suspiciously like a piece of art, but which was used as a seat later by others who drifted in as the reading continued. As the seats filled in and the walls that were not covered by magnificent pieces of artwork were leaned upon and sat against, the reading began. A single wooden stool stood at the front of our little congregation where poet after humble poet took his or her
place to share with us a little piece of their soul. We in the audience were quiet, considerate, and interested. Our applause was sincere, for their skill, for their courage, for their brilliance. Verses were called up from out of satchels and messenger bags, off of legal pads, and loose-leaf paper, napkin corners, and worn moleskin notebooks. Pain and joy and love and laments were expressed by these waitresses, these bus drivers, these journalists, these students. Short scribbles, long memories, and everything in between were shared with listeners who nodded in unconscious agreement or empathy or gazed at some far off image in their mind’s eye. We sat entranced and unified, just for the evening, by the moving power of words.
Article By: Audrey Foppes
Occasionally, this ethereal trance would be shattered by commotion of the street that came wafting in through our welcoming door. Once, a dog even came jangling in to happily inspect the sneakers of those seated on the floor, and after a pet and a shake, he merrily loped out again. Rather than souring the evening, however, these disturbances somehow enhanced our experience, forging our collective bond by reminding us of our unique status of as quiet lovers of poetry amid a loud and jostling world. After the poets had read all that they cared to share, we mingled our way back out onto the street and conversed on the cracked sidewalk under the golden glow of the evening streetlamps. Compliments were exchanged, writing techniques and philosophies were shared. I complimented a young lady on a particularly thought-provoking poem she read, to which she responded, “I really like writing simple poems, easy to read, easy to say, but that have a deeper meaning and really catch you in you thinking.” She certainly caught me. All of us continued on this way, sharing stories or spreading the word about one upcoming literary event or other. As an outsider, I happily skirted the edge of the reunion, watching and listening and experiencing vicariously the happy reunion of this eclectic Thursday night poetry crowd. Everyone, from the professional and published poet, to the construction worker who scribbled notes on his break, was present and welcome. A more genuine group of people I had never met. They were as different as the poems they had written and shared, and were united by one common passion: the beauty of language.
If tonight is the night your dreams break and your breath catches and fails in your throat, when the lines fade and the colors run onto the asphalt sloping down towards the dark, I’ll kneel down and catch them in the cup of my hand to pour into your parched throat and breathe back into you again.
As the life seeps back into your veins, I’ll wait until it kisses your eyes the way it once did when we were younger, and I scraped sunlight off the windows to crush on my palms and smear across your cheeks. With dirty hands and frozen toes I’ll walk back with you into the dark and into the night. Together we’ll tear the stars down again, paint our constellations anew on the same faded page because I know that the day will come when we look up at the sky and now, finally, we see Our selves staring back at us the way they would in our dreams every night until tonight, when we tear the ashes from our eyes and first walk on to the sun
Mesmerized Your love turns me to Stone.--
Poem By: Rachel Panepinto
I can feel it deep In my bones.;
It ruptures throughout Like a storm, keeping me on the ground. Your love is fresh-It makes me fall-In a mess; It makes me crawl Straight to a path, Where things are Faster set in time, And it’s much easier To Make a Rhyme And the days and seasons just unwind,-And we’re just Specimens For each other’s eyes. So here am I;-Left to wonder Why-Love is not So Free Why Love just Makes You want To Die.
Parting Shots Check Your Din at the Door
Article By: Audrey Foppes
t’s October, and many of us are finally hitting our stride as we settle in to a comfortable rhythm of school, work, and play. Despite the hubris (or the apathy) that tends to prevail during these early weeks of the mid-semester groove, some of us have noticed that the essay assignments are getting longer and, come to think of it, our book bags have become awfully heavy. Although finals week still remains a long way off, professors and TA’s alike are putting the pressure on and many of us are beginning to understand just what we registered for. That being said, the library has become increasingly important to the student body since our first day all those weeks ago. Fewer and fewer cubbies are left
open and competition if fierce as students vie for seating near outlets. Those precious few hours we have devoted to our studies have become crucial as we begin to feel the Professor Pressure. As tensions run high and patience runs thin, it has become harder to ignore what is unarguably the worst part about the library: the other students. We’ve all had to deal with them: those guys laughing obnoxiously at the latest viral video on YouTube, those girls whispering with impossible commotion, and, of course, the notorious answerer of a cell phone call, functioning under an apparently abhorrent connection, hence the unnecessary yelling. That being said, I feel compelled to remind the student body of one very simple, but evidently uncomprehended fact: it’s a library, kids. By definition, a place of silence and study. Sure, we all have watched the occasional one or seven episodes of 30 Rock, and that’s not technically a studious endeavor, however, the conventions remain. To you restless studiers, you video watchers, you disturbers of the peace, be forewarned, your grace period is over. It’s October, the crunch is on, and our silence is precious. Don’t test
our patience. Why am I so territorial of my study space? Because I, like so many other students who harbor the same unspoken sentiments, know exactly how it feels to ask someone to please be obnoxious at a slightly lower decibel: it’ awkward. Somehow, upholding the sanctified silence of the library has translated in our society as a faux pas. As though reminding the guffawing kids in the corner that this is, in fact, a place where most of us have come to escape such noises in order to better tackle our collegiate demands is somehow how rude or inconsiderate of their wants. Well you know what I want? I want to finish this paper, so kindly zip your howling screamer. So please, all you lucky SOB’s whose lives aren’t quite as frantic or work-laden as the rest of ours, just remember, a library is for quiet. Don’t watch hilarious videos if you can’t control your cackles, whispering isn’t whispering if I can hear you across the room, and yes, you forgot to silence your cell phone, I promise, so just check it, and don’t put the rest of us in that most awkward situation of asking an adult to act like an adult.
The Next Step: Bracing Yourself for Graduate School
his is the moment. This one moment is so important, so pivotal. Your future, your whole entire life hangs in the balance. Sometimes, that moment can tell you about what you really want. What you want more than anything else. It’s a moment when your heart is suspended, waiting and hopeful. But there’s a part of you that’s terrified; you are already thinking about what would you do if you received a rejection. Fears about your self worth arise and you find yourself questioning your efforts throughout those four long years. Maybe someone else deserves this position. Someone more qualified and better than you, but you’ll die if you don’t get it. Or are you fully compassionate and will appreciate whatever you get, not backing down and already planning your next move, your back-up plan? Try to learn what areas the committee felt were weak
in your application. Look at yourself objectively (easier said than done). Correct your mistakes and turn your weaknesses into strengths. Take a deep breath. You’re not dying and it’s NOT the end. Self doubt and lack of confidence is normal; it’s all a part of the process. Self-doubt was never an issue for you; if it were an actual matter you would’ve changed your major long before you graduated with a bachelor’s degree. You know your abilities, you are confident in them, so keep your head up and “just keep swimming.” There is no quick way, no shortcut, and it might be a long, bumpy road, but it will be worth it in the end. Remember to not forget to smile, every step of the way. One of the major factors to keep in mind about the admissions committee is measuring your level of commitment, your confidence, and most importantly, your patience. A committed person understands and
Article By: Zainab Alkhamis
handles the situation in a way to see the good as well the bad, and still wants to pursue the desired end. Instead of wondering what went wrong, focus on the present. In the words of John Burroughs, “for anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, selfsacrifice - no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service.”
Moving into a new apartment? First time landlord or tenant?
Landlord-Tenant Workshop What can we do for you? Wednesday October 23rd • O’Brian Hall room 107 3pm to 5pm • Sponsored by: SBI Legal Assistance
Featured Speakers: Francis Amendala • Esq. Attorney • SBI Legal Assitance Dan Ryan, Ph D. • Director UB Campus Student Services Lorenzo Guzman, M.S. • SBI Off Campus Housing
716-645-3056 sbi.buffalo.edu/legal firstname.lastname@example.org