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An alternative voice since 1984 An SBI publication 02112014 Vol. 31 Issue: 09


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Table of Contents



05 EIC Letter 07 Agenda Hit or Bullshit What’s on our Playlist 08 Crazy Date Stories 09 He Said She Said 10 Make it or Break it 11 Dating Quiz PULSE 13 International Love Days FEATURE 16 Online Dating BUFFALOVE 18 Love Your Community 19 Buffalo Date Ideas LITERARY 20 Be Mein 21 Unsappy Ever After PARTING SHOTS 22 I Dream of Ice Skating 50 Shades

Cover designed by Emily Butler, Babita Persaud, Steve Bernhardt. Photos taken by Steve Bernhardt. Photo source from all credits goes to respective photographer. (16), (16), (7), (19) Generation Magazine is owned by Sub-Board I, Inc., the student service corporation at the State University of New York at Buffalo. The Sub-Board I, Inc. Board of Directors grants editorial autonomy to the editorial board of Generation. Sub-Board I, Inc. (the publisher) provides funding through mandatory student activity fees and is in no way responsible for the editorial content, editorial structure or editorial policy of the magazine. Editorial and business offices for Generation are located in Suite 315 in the Student Union on North Campus. The telephoane numbers are (716) 645-6131 or (716) 645-2674 (FAX). Address mail c/o Room 315 Student Union University at Buffalo, Amherst, NY 14260. Submissions to Generation Magazine should be e-mailed to by 1p.m. Tuesday, a week before each issue’s publication. This publication and its contents are the property of the students of the State University of New York at Buffalo 2011 by Generation Magazine, all rights reserved. The first 10 copies of Generation Magazine are free. Each additional copy must be approved by the editor in chief. Requests for reprints should be directed to the editor in chief. Generation Magazine neither endorses nor takes responsibility for any claims made by our advertisers. Press run 5,000. ≠≠≠


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Editor’s Letter

Dear Readers,

Hello all! My name is Angelina Bruno and I will be taking over as Editor in Chief for Generation this semester. Here at Generation we work together, we collaborate and we strive to make decisions that will best benefit our publication and our readers. I am proud to have the privilege of leading our staff going forward. From working as a staff writer last year to Managing Editor this past fall semester, I believe my previous experiences will help me to organize and oversee the little details that will help make the big picture of our publication a success.

Now that we have gotten the cover-lettery stuff out of the way, here are some fun facts about me! I am a Junior English Major here at UB and I enjoy reading and writing fiction and, of course, journalism pieces. I love working at Generation because it is a creative outlet where the two forms go hand in hand. Using literary

techniques in our writing helps to give our articles a voice and perspective that is unique to this style of publication. Like many of our staff, I embrace the arts. Singing and watching people more talented than me act and dance are some of my favorite pastimes. I love watching Gilmore Girls and Girls and I secretly (not so secretly) aspire to be the next Lena Dunham.

STAFF 2013 Editor in Chief Angelina Bruno Creative Director Emily Butler Assistant Creative Director Babita Persaud Photo Editor Steve Bernhardt Web Editor Keighley Farrell

I am a very open person and pretty willing to give anything and everything a chance and I want to bring that openness to Generation. I hope to broaden the reach of our publication by bringing in more writers and artists whose interests vary between everything from the arts, to politics, to athletics. We as a staff want to bring Generation back to its roots and I sincerely hope that you will come along on the journey with us.

Copy Editor Audrey Foppes

-Angelina Bruno

Contributing Staff Adam Johnson Cara Shelhamer Zainab Alkhamis

Associate Editors Laura Borschel Jori Breslawski Sushmita Sircar Circulation Director Matt Benevento Business Manager Nick Robin Ad Manager Andrew Kim Assistant Ad Manager Adinda Anggriadipta


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t T I i H ullsh B



The Superb-Owl is Over! Thank the lurd. I don’t know about you guys, but I was really getting sick of hearing about all this football nonsense. Call me the next time Queen Bey does the halftime show. (PS, no offense SeaHawks fans, but those colors are heinous. Congrats, though.)



Being in an LDR for V-Day. My heart goes out to all you long-distance-lovers this Hallmark season. If you’re really feeling pathetic sitting alone in your dorm eating Cheetos, you can always come over to my place and we can feel pathetic together.


The State of the Union was once again able to show the American people that Republicans and Democrats can breathe the same air in a room and not be diseased by Party Cooties.

4x4- Miley Cyrus Tennis Court- Lorde The Thong Song- Sisqo Anything Can Happen- Ellie Goulding Broken Bells- After the Disco Take Me Anywhere- Tegan and Sara Flawless- Beyonce Atlas Hands- Benjamin Francis Leftwich Talk Dirty- Jason Derulo Whatever You Like-Anya Marina




A coca-cola ad that aired during the Super Bowl drew the ire of some fans who felt that it was unpatriotic. Their outrage was directed against the fact that the ad played “America the Beautiful,” but did so in different languages. I don’t know what’s more irksome-- the equating of America with English and only English to the extent that speaking any other language is unacceptable, or the fact that this of all things is what people chose to find problematic in the world of advertising.


Winter is the worst for a lot of us. But do not despair! The gray dawn light was reportedly seen as early 6:30 AM and daylight is said to last as late as 5:15 PM! The days are getting longer! There is literally a light at the end of our winter tunnel.

February 14th: Donor Day!

While all the couples out there will be giving each other chocolate hearts on Valentine’s Day, we must remember to celebrate those that have given actual hearts, sometimes even to perfect strangers. February 14th is also Donors Day, in honor of all those who have donated blood, marrow, tissue, and various organs to help out those in need. Spread the love!



Date stories Article By: Various Contributing Editors

Once upon a time in a mystical land called Europe, a girl and I decided we would go to a club and pretend like we actually belonged there. It being a nice night, and we being poor, we decided to walk the twenty minutes through the city to the club. Needless to say we ended up incredibly lost. After an hour of walking around the empty streets, we came to the club. Of course, by then I had lost my ticket and she did not have an I.D on her. Annoyed yet slightly bemused, we ate at a kebab place and discussed how one day, one of us would write a really boring magazine article about the affair, fully unworthy of the title “Crazy Date Story”. -A The craziest date that I ever went on was a first date that I had with a girl that I was going to meet at Rochester Pride. Before I delve deeper however, I must inform youmall that the crazy adventure started before I even met her. We had been talking on ampopular dating site and started to get to know one another. A few weeks later I was surfing a queer porn website and discovered, to my complete shock and disbelief, that I was about to go out on a date with a porn star. I had discovered


totally by chance and was alarmed over the clichéd irony of it all. When I actually went out with her, all I could do was think and try not to blurt out that she did porn. -L I haven’t had a super crazy date per se, but I dated a guy who definitely stood out from the others. This guy, let’s call him Marko, brought me on a date to the ice skating rink. I believe it was his first skating endeavor, and I was trying to coach him through it a little, you know, “go slowly”, “bend your knees”, “it’s okay to hold on to the wall” kind of thing. Well, Marko didn’t care much for that. And after his first go around, he encircled that ice rink as fast as his skates would take him. He fell on his butt and on his face and over and over again. And while I may have thought he was crazy, I admired his inner wild child (and frankly his resiliency). -C You have been waiting the whole semester for this cute guy to ask you out. When it finally happens you act casual. “Hey I’m hungry, wanna grab something to eat out-

side campus?” he asks. You think to yourself, of course I want to grab something to eat with you! Your actual answer is “Sure.” You sit down together at the restaurant that you go to every Friday but this time it’s different. This time your company is someone who is really good looking. You have a nice fancy dinner, sweet and delicious! At the end you offer to split the check only to go home and realize he made you pay for the whole dinner. Way to go Romeo! -Z So there was this guy I really liked. He only had one flaw: extremely bad breath. I constantly offered him gum or tic tacs, but he always refused. Desperate, I bought tickets for us to go to a Chinese auction together. Secretly I paid the people in charge to let me enter a basket full of toothpastes and a really nice electric toothbrush set, filling the bag with only his tickets so he would definitely win. When they called his name he told me he would give the basket to his brother Charlie. Charlie and I are now a couple. -A

d i a S He he Said S



e By : Articl


d to an n e v Bene

Bor Laura

Flowers, Furries, and Flummery

My grandma set me up on a blind date with her friend’s daughter from bingo, but I’m broke. Where can I take her and not spend a lot of money without looking like I’m cheap.


You should consider taking her to the Naval Museum in downtown Buffalo. It is free to walk around plus girls love to be outside during freakishly cold winters and look and military equipment for hours.


I suggest you take her to the grain mills, it’s a nice intimate place where there won’t be a single person, so you will have a great opportunity to bond. Public places can often be crowded and filled with other people, which may give her the wrong impression. You should also persuade her to shut her phone off, it’s not like you’ll even be on a place where there’s reception anyways. And make sure to show her the shotgun you keep under your front seat, she will want to know that you can protect her. I really want a Valentine this year, so I put an add on Craigslist hoping to make a love connection, and a girl actually responded! However, she’s a furry and I don’t know what to do, help!


Is she hot? Well I guess it doesn’t matter as you will be hopefully be looking at the back of a fuzzy head


before the night is over. Don’t you know that beastiality is illegal. I bet you really want to know what her spirit animal is huh? You know that it’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Eevee. My boyfriend just broke up with me and with Valentine’s Day approaching I need something to distract myself from the breakup, what should I do?


A great therapeutic exercise is to make a heart shaped collage of her from pictures on facebook. After you finish be sure to post the results on facebook and tag all of her friends and family on it.


I think you should start following her around on campus to let her know you really care and are committed to this relationship. Try and figure out her schedule so you can show up to her classes. You should also start thinking about talking to her friends and family about any new guys that may be in her life. You don’t need any new competition. My girlfriend and I have been dating for two years but, for the last few weeks she has refused to talk to me after I made a certain indiscretion with a study partner. How can I win her back?


Women love extreme romantic gestures. Your best course of action

is to surprise her in the parking lot, outside of her job after work, with a marriage proposal. If she refuses just stay the course and keep pestering her until she caves in from the pressure of being a public spectacle.


You should really just ask her to join you and your study partner. Girls love threesomes as much as men, if not more. Also you should make sure it’s a surprise, you don’t want her finding out ahead time. What could go wrong? My girlfriend keeps pestering me to buy her a dog but, the apartment we rent from does not allow them. How can I get her off of my back but, not have to move?


Luckily there is a way to circumvent your lease agreement and get an even better pet than a boring dog. With the use of an easy to make snare and some rotten meat, you can trap your very own racoon. Racoons are not only friendly and clean but, will most likely not violate your apartment’s dog restrictions.


Well, I’m surprised they let your girlfriend stay in the apartment then, and she sounds like a real wet blanket. I suppose you could just take her to training school and perhaps a grooming salon. I am a virgin and am finding it increasingly difficult to find a suitable partner at UB. I want

to abstain until marriage but, everyone I try to meet is only interested in sex. Is there any place where I can find like minded people?


I don’t understand the question. Also, could you please give me the numbers of the people who are only interested in sex? Well just have gay sex, everyone knows it’s not REAL unless it involves a penis and a vagina. My one year anniversary with my girlfriend is coming up soon and I really want to do something special. With Valentines Day getting close I want to avoid anything too cliche like flowers or chocolate but I am having a tough time coming up with anything. What would you suggest?


Buy her a pet like a dog or cat (be sure to poke a few holes in the box) to prove your commitment to her. Don’t worry if she lives on campus and can’t have a pet because no one will notice as long as you tell her to hold on to the box.


I think you should propose to her, it’s not cliche at all and she totally won’t expect it, but do it with something more affordable like a ring pop. The lint and dust that this highly impracticle food will collect will be a testament to your sweetness and love.

Send your questions to!


make it or break it Article By: Audrey Foppes

1.) As was previously mentioned, Xboxes are like Invisibility Cloaks. Buy them one and then sneak away quietly. They’ll never know you left. 2.) Bear in mind that Valentine’s Day is coming up. If you are planning for a breakup soon, perhaps postpone it for a bit. Unless, of course, you’re looking for a fight.

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1.) Communication is key! Proper listening skills can be demonstrated by nodding consistently, smiling amiably, and occasionally emitting an unintelligible, yet decidedly positive hum. Meanwhile, having successfully achieved the Listening Look, you are free to think about something more interesting.

3.) No one likes hearing “break-up,” so don’t say it. Try using a different phrase, like “pause,” “adventure,” or “semi-permanent-but-probably-definite cessation of affections.” If you say that last one fast enough and run out of the room, they will be too confused to object. 4.) We all know confrontations are difficult and uncomfortable, so you could try avoiding the situation all together. But simply ignoring them is not enough—you’ll have to fake your own death. Cut all communication and pay a friend or two to cry a lot. This works particularly well for graduating seniors who will likely be leaving town, anyway.

2.) If you have to explain why your joke is funny, it’s probably not. And that’s not their fault. You simply aren’t a comedian. So stop trying.

5.) Fake a contagious disease. A contagious, incurable, terminal, infectious disease…

3.) Holding doors is generally considered the polite thing to do. Unless you have a raging feminist on your hands—then you step way back and let her get the damn door herself!

6.) If you aren’t willing to make the break, you could force them to do it for you. Gradually adopting worse and worse habits may eventually drive your soonto-be ex to the brink of insanity, and, with any luck, they will leave of their own accord. More importantly, however, is if they don’t leave. Depending on how horrible you have let yourself become and on how many bad habits they, too, have adopted, if they don’t leave first, you may have unintentionally created the ideal excuse to break it off.

4.) If you find your boyfriend is getting clingy, buy him an Xbox and you will be invisible for the next 3 to 6 months. If these results last for more than a year, seek medical attention immediately.

5.) Even the most open and accepting of relationships often experiences discomfort when discussing certain subjects. It should be noted, then, that sometimes women just really, really like chocolate and want to be left the f*** alone.

7.) The next time they invite you out for coffee, run. Just run. They’ll get the idea. 8.) As college students, we are excellent at making s*** up. Killing off your grandmother works as well for break-ups as it does for late papers.

6.) All responses to your significant other via text message must end in an exclamation point! As we all know, periods are suspiciously unenthusiastic. 7.) How to satisfy your man: Step 1: Show up.

9.) Although texting is less confrontational, it will definitely not go well. At least give them a call. Or leave a voicemail. 10.) Explain to them that love is like a new iPhone. After exploring all the features, it is utterly boring, until you discover the next model.

8.) How to satisfy your woman: Ask for help, because you just won’t get it right alone.

9.) Definitely do not use your possession of the latest and most valuable Magic cards as an icebreaker. Ease into that slowly, and if they’re cool with it, marry them immediately.

10.) Love is not easy—it takes some serious organization to make it work. If you are experiencing troubles in your chaotic relationship, take a note from the DMV and try introducing official forms into your relationship. Paperwork can be ordered into categories like Grievances, Late Date Citations, and Unnecessarily Long Shower Tickets. This way, during your next fight, you have a paper trail to back up your points.

-10- 10

Article By: Jori Breslawski

Hello! I’m Dr. Feilgüd If you’re looking for the definitive compatibility dating quiz, then keep looking! Dr. Feilgüd’s Ultimate Guide to Personality Compatibility is the only comprehensive dating quiz not administered by a licensed practitioner. I’m going to begin by asking you a series of questions that will delve deeper into your personality, questions like: Do you smoke? Do you own any pets? And, are you legally allowed to work in the United States? These questions may reveal hidden truths about yourself that even you were unaware of. For example, I took this quiz and discovered that I display tendencies remarkably similar to those of OJ Simpson! Which is so funny, because we play golf together every Sunday. This quiz, like bowling, is meant to be done with a friend, preferably one with whom you are sexually or merely romantically interested…or maybe you have a foot-fetish thing. Whatever. The point is, by taking this quiz now, you can test your compatibility as a couple before wasting money on drinks tonight and a cab tomorrow morning. Do you have a friend? Great! Then let’s get started! 1. Which do you prefer more: looks or personality? A.) Looks B.) Looks C.) Looks, but also… appearances? D.) Question: does it have two legs?

B.) Sleeping off last night’s hang over. C.) Reading, catching up on household chores, silently hoping the phone will ring. D.) I dunno, probably video games, or a movie. Something slow.

2. When going out on a typical date, what do you wear? A.) Thick sweaters that say, “I like to be warm.” B.) An outfit that says something like “classy prostitute” C.) A nice outfit, sharp, well-fitted, but easy to take off. Just in case. D.) Sweatpants advertising my favorite color

9. When doing the hokey-pokey, which body part do you stick in first? A.) Ha! Ok, ummm, my hand? B.) Tongue. Definitely. C.) Probably a hand… maybe a hip? Only if I’m feeling adventurous. D.) Hehe, I don’t think I’m allowed to say…

3. If a monkey wearing a spacesuit suddenly walks into the room, your first reaction would be…? A.) Squeal with joy! Who doesn’t love monkeys?! B.) Get the f**k out of there. Nobody needs that s*** C.) In a spacesuit? Call PETA. Then approach it with caution. D.) Ha! I have no idea! Give it a banana?

10. Romance aside, what do you look for in a potential date? A.) A sense of humor. I want someone who makes me happy. B.) Money, looks, prospects—I want the whole package C.) I’d like someone intelligent, who’s patient, and also can be fun, but at the appropriate times. D.) Pfft! I don’t really care—good music, I guess? As long as they’re, you know, available.

4. How far in advance does your date need to ask you out? A.) I’d like a little warning, but I like to think I’m pretty spontaneous B.) Who asks? Just go for it! C.) I have a very busy schedule and don’t have time for surprises. A week in advance, please. D.) I don’t really need much warning, but I usually see it coming. 5. Your ideal date night is… A.) A night in: movie, popcorn, pillows, comforters. B.) Someplace we can get lost in a big crowd. Anything goes when no one’s really watching. C.) That depends on how long we’ve been dating. Out for coffee, or a nice dinner perhaps? Someplace where we can talk in relative privacy. D.) Probably a house party, but anyplace with a spare bedroom is perfect, you know what I mean? 6. Your stance in religion is… A.) I think it’s important for people to feel guided and purposeful, no matter what their inspiration might be. B.) I was a Slutty Nun for Halloween last year, so… whatever that means. C.) I think everyone should keep their beliefs to themselves, especially if I disagree with them. D.) Oh, yeah, I go to Church... mostly on Christmas. 7. You and your date are in a sinking lifeboat. What do you do first? A Cling to my date, and, sobbing, tell them how much I love them before we die. B Just the two of us? Sex, baby! I’m gonna die doing what I love! C Grab two life jackets, fire the rescue flare, and assume the dead man’s float. D What, like a real boat? Oh my God, I don’t even know. 8. Where can you be found on a balmy Sunday afternoon? A.) Probably walking through a flowering park, hand in hand with the person I love.

11. What facial feature are you most attracted to? A.) Their smile. B.) Cheekbones! C.) Their eyes, and how often they smile, and their degree of expressiveness. D.) Definitely lips. 12. The dance move you are best at is…? A.) Is spinning a dance move? B.) It’s all about the twerk. That gets you the most attention. C.) I don’t really dance… maybe a little shoulder roll. D.) I don’t wanna brag, but I can break-dance, like, mad good. 13. Love is funny. What awkward situation could you and your date laugh about? A.) If they fell asleep and started to snore, I’d think it’s cute. They shouldn’t be embarrassed. B.) If they’re nervous in bed, I could laugh, calm them down, and then make them forget all about it. C.) If they made a joke that fell flat, I could still laugh it off… as long as that didn’t happen too often. D.) If they snorted when they laughed, I’d definitely laugh, too. But I might be laughing at them… we’d both still be laughing, though. 14. What color are your bed sheets at this very moment? A.) Floral patterned. B.) Red, baby. Silky, sensual, erotic red. C.) A tasteful blue with matching pillowcases. D.) I have no idea. 15. But seriously, what do you do with that monkey? A.) Hug it! B.) Call the police. Immediately. C.) Hope for the authorities to take me seriously and show up soon. Until then, it doesn’t look rabid, so I’m going to make friends with it. D.) Does it drink beer? I’d see if monkeys like beer.

Dr. Feilgüd’s Ultimate Guide to Personality Compatibility

Article By: Audrey Foppes

Congratulations! You have almost completed Dr. Feilgüd’s Ultimate Guide to Personality Compatibility! Now, to properly calculate your score, count up the number of times you answered A, B, C, and D. Then, find your results below:

Mostly A’s: You are a Teddy Bear! You are sweet and innocent and very cuddle-oriented. You don’t really care what you and your date do, so long as there is touching, stroking, hugging, and giggling. Generally speaking, you are happy with life and like uncomplicated situations. You love long walks on the beach and your favorite food is anything with a smiley-face on it. You are most compatible with other Teddy Bears and Hidden Hotties. Mostly B’s: You’re a Knockout! You are fiery, fast, and down for anything. Basically, you are a fast-talking, lip-licking, bootie-shaking hottie! But even though you could totally get anyone you wanted, you have some definite standards. Still, you like showing off, even if that means taking people a little out of their comfort zones. You are compatible with pretty much everyone, since you’re always in control, but you’d be happiest with another Knockout who’s up to your speed or a Democratic Dater, who’s up for almost anything. Mostly C’s: You are a Hidden Hottie! You’re the quiet type, kind of hard to warm up, and a little aloof, but if someone can break into your inner circle of trust, you are a demon in the bedroom, and not afraid to show it. No one could tell by looking at you, but you know a thing or two, and that’s good enough for you—you’re happy keeping your secrets. Only the right people will know. Since you like to take it slow, you would be compatible with Teddy Bears. Maybe someday, the perfect Knockout will break you out of your shell early, but for now, stick to Teddies and other Hidden Hotties. Mostly D’s: You are a Democratic Dater. It’s not that you don’t have standards, but why be choosy? You’re game if they are—in your world, everyone has a chance. That being said, you’re open to just about anything, especially if it was their idea. You are flexible enough to adjust to the speed of just about anyone, but only if you can tell the relationship is going somewhere. Eventually, your patience will run out. Your ideal match would be a Knockout or a Teddy Bear, but stay away from those Hidden Hotties—you don’t have time for their mind games. Have a tie? Since you are somewhere in the middle, you probably want to stay away from the extremes. So beware of the Knockouts and the teddy Bears—they can be a bit intense. Instead, try for a Hidden Hottie or a Democratic Dater. They can adjust their speed if you find you’re on the faster side, but they also tend to be patient and can start out slow if that’s more comfortable.


Article By: Jori Breslawski


here are a lot of people who say Valentine’s Day is a BS holiday—and to those who say that, I say bugger off. For me, it was always so much more than being lovey-dovey with a significant other, because I have loved Valentine’s Day ever since I can remember. I guess it’s just the fact that it is an entire day dedicated to celebrating love, which to me is the single most important phenomenon of life, it’s our reason for living. It could be your love for your family, or friends, the day doesn’t have to be a miserable curse from hell when you’re single. And to those of you who say there shouldn’t have to be a special day dedicated to doing something extra special for your loved one—you can celebrate your love for them as much as you want! No one is stopping you. But on this day, people around the world are expressing their love for others, and to me that is magical. It goes far beyond the boxed chocolate and teddy bears with I love you hearts in their arms—it’s the simple fact that millions of people are celebrating the most extraordinary feeling human beings are capable of feeling—LOVE! That being said, Valentine’s Day is definitely not the same across the board—different cultures celebrate this holiday in very different ways—ways that you could never even guess and do not make all that much sense. In South Korea, women spoil their man with chocolate and a month later the act is reciprocated on “White Day”. But the fun doesn’t end there—on April 14th, Koreans celebrate “Black Day” where singles all celebrate together, eating a dish called ‘jajangmyeon’, which is a black soup. Despite the grim sound of this holiday, Koreans are a romantic bunch. In fact, they have dedicated the 14th of every month to some celebration of love. It starts with January 14th- Candle Day, then the holidays of February, March, and April, May 14th is Rose Day, June 14thKiss day, July 14th-Silver Day, August 14th-Green Day, September 14th- Music Day, October 14th-Wine Day, November 14th- Movie Day, and finally December 14thHug Day. In Japan, it’s all about spoiling your man on Valentine’s Day. Despite this, Japanese women are typically reserved and shy in their expressions of love. The chocolate that they usually present to their man can express anything from love, to courtesy, to social obligation. Danes and Norwegians celebrate “Valentinsdag”, which

is largely based on Valentine’s Day but has its own quirky traditions all the same. “Gaekkebrev” are funny little poems that are anonymously sent to women, who must guess who sent the love note. If she guesses correctly, she wins an Easter Egg on Easter later that year and if he stumps her, she owes him an Easter Egg instead! In Slovenia, February 14th marks the first day of working in the fields. There is a Slovene proverb that says “St. Valentine brings the keys of roots”, so it’s a popular day to start work on the vineyards and farms. The people of Slovenia also believe that on this day, birds propose to their loved ones and get married. In Finland and Estonia Valentine’s Day is more a celebration of friendship than a day dedicated to gushy romance with a significant other. In fact, the literal translation of their name for the day, “Ystavan Paiva” is “Friend’s Day”. In Wales, the people celebrate “St. Dwynwen’s Day” (the patron saint of lovers) on January 25th. The story goes that Princess Dwynwen, who lived in 5th century Anglesey, fell in love with a young man named Maelon. Alas, they could not be together as most love stories go, for reasons not entirely known. Distraught, she fled to the woods, where she met an angel who gave her a potion to chill her feelings towards Maelon. However, the potion did much more, turning the man into a solid block of ice. Still more distraught, Dwynwen prayed and God gave her three wishes. She first wished for Maelon’s release from his icy tomb. Then, she prayed that God would watch over all true lovers and guard their happiness. Her last prayer was that she would never marry. Welsh people give each other lovespoons, wooden spoons carved with intricate symbolic designs. So, if you are bitter about Valentine’s Day, whether it be because you’re single or because you think it is a stupid holiday, just think of how happy those millions of people are around the world whose day was just a little more special than normal because of this holiday dedicated entirely to love. Traditional expressions of love and quirky regional customs combine to make Valentine’s Day special wherever it is celebrated, creating smiles across the globe, and I’d be willing to bet, if you measured global happiness of February 14th, it would definitely be a little higher.

where is the love

It goes far beyond the boxed chocolate and teddy bears with I love you hearts in their arms—it’s the simple fact that millions of people are celebrating the most extraordinary feeling human beings are capable of feeling-LOVE!

Article by: Keighley Farrell


in the Digital Age T

he days of traditional dating are done-zo. In a world where technology is making our lives easier with each passing day, it’s also helping to streamline our hunt for the perfect mate. What began as (I assume) a “last resort” for those who were over the bar scene, online dating websites have grown in popularity; in 2013, a commendable one out of every five committed relationships took up its roots in one of the many dot-com dating pools. And with a total web dating population comprised of 52% men and 48% women, it’s a pretty solid playing field, no matter who you’re looking for. But enough about the statistics of it all, you can Google those yourself. I’m going to give you my personal pros and cons, and explain I think that online dating is way more likely to land you a real gem, no matter what kind of relationship you’re looking for.



YOU CAN EASILY SEE THEIR INTENTIONS. Almost every dating profile has a specific section devoted to communicating the creator’s current relationship goals. Gone are the days of the capricious casual coffee coveter finding themself in an awkward conversation with the girl who wants to “settle down and have kids, like, right now.” If you aren’t ready for something serious, or if you don’t want to waste your time with the games and just cut right to the wedding bells, you can put it right in to your stats. YOU CAN TELL WHO’S AN IDIOT. When you meet somebody at a bar, a party, or even through a mutual friend, it can be difficult to gage what their intelligence level is like. (Though for many of us, I can say that after the fourth tequila sunrise, we might not be doing so hot ourselves.) On an online profile, you can tell exactly who is operating at 50%. If under “hobbies” they put things like “coolin’,” “nothing,” “idk,” or “stuff,” just get the hell out of there. YOU CAN TELL WHO’S A TOTAL CREEP. Some dating sites come with built-in “trick” questions to weed out the potential murdery types. For example, one of the questions hidden in OKCupid’s servers is something to the effect of: “No always means no, true or false?” With an available choice to answer: “A no is just a yes in disguise.” Unless consent and respect aren’t really your thing, this kind of question gives you a chance to see some red flags that otherwise may have squeaked by under the radar. YOU CAN BROADEN YOUR HORIZONS. While long-distance might not be for everyone, online dating gives you the chance to peek outside of your city’s bubble. Sick


BEWARE THE CATFISH. While it’s pretty easy to spot who’s fake and who’s the real deal, MTV has made us all a little bit cautious. If they seem too good to be true, it’s probably a sign. The miracle of Google image search could have saved those poor people a whole lot of trouble. Use it to your advantage. THERE WILL STILL BE UNWANTED ADVANCES. Ya’know that guy at the bar who won’t take “no thanks” for an answer? You’ll still get plenty of those. When I had an active dating profile, I probably got fifty or more messages a day that just said “hi” and nothing else. Or, on not-at-all-rare-enough occasions, something disgusting and vulgar. The difference between getting atrociously hit on in person and receiving lewd messages on the internet is pretty simple: online, you can hit block, and never have to deal with that bozo again. PERCENTAGES AREN’T ALWAYS RIGHT. You may see your dream human and discover that you’re a 98% match. Yowza! However, it all depends on the kind of questions that they answer. You could be totally on the same page when it comes to chocolate chip cookies, cute dogs, and breathing air, but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t leave that political view section blank for a very sneaky reason. Make sure you read the fine print before you start absentmindedly doodling their last name in your notebooks. THEY MAY BE INCREASINGLY MORE CHARMING/YOUNG/ BETTER LOOKING/SINGLE ONLINE.

of the same Buffalo gals and dudes? Check out what some of the surrounding cities have to offer. If you really want to torture yourself, max out your match percentage and find your greatest match in the world. It’s seriously addicting. YOU DECIDE WHAT’S MOST IMPORTANT. If your religion is the central focus of your life, just make a note of it. If you require a minimal IQ before you’ll say “I do,” jot it down. If you don’t care about any of that crap and just want someone smoking hot to call on Friday nights, set your search to “6’2” and “muscular” and have a field day. YOU CAN BE PICKY. There are only so many people in a social circle that your friends can stress are “totally your type” before you start having to settle for some compromises. With a database of eligible humans at your fingertips, you don’t have to settle for someone who’s super attractive or knows the difference between to/too/two. You can pretty much have it all. (Assuming they’re interested in you too. But don’t get discouraged!) YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE WITH THE SAME “HOBBIES” AS YOU. There are plenty of specialized dating websites to suit your every fancy. From farming to furries, there is a community to meet your romantic needs. So basically, online dating rocks. It’s pretty effortless, once you knock out the initial profile, and it acts as a mutually beneficial outlet for your Facebook stalking addiction. That being said, it does come with some baggage. Make sure you’re wary of these challenges before you take the plunge.

It’s just as easy to bend the truth on the web as it is to flat-out lie. While they may assure you that their profile picture is “definitely them,” you’d be wise to find out when the information provided was current. I’ve known a few people who strategically only upload old photos in the hopes that suitors won’t noticed that they’ve packed on five or a hundred pounds. And a few teeth fell out. Aaaaaand they’re married… IT’S A RISKY FIRST DATE. I mean, all first dates are kind of risky. They go against everything your parents taught you about stranger danger, and even at their most harmless, are pretty damn awkward. When meeting someone from the web for the first time, make sure you take some precautions. Talk to them on the phone first so you won’t be surprised, arrange to meet in a well-lit, public place, and always let someone know where you’ll be. On a more personal level, make sure not to be the fool that’s too overdressed, and if you know you’ll be nervous, wear plenty of deodorant. While some of these warnings may be a dealbreaker, I firmly believe that online dating is the way of the future. It presents you with a better idea of the person you’re getting involved with, which is a pretty special privilege in the unpredictable world of romantic connections. It also gives you a chance to try on a few different hats, and gives the socially shy and awkward an outlet to plead their case. (Not like I would know. I’m very smooth.) This valentine’s day, if you need a pick-me-up about your prospective future, make an account and just give it a whirl. You never know who you’ll find, or who will find you!



C h a r i ta b l e Ways t o


Valentines Day

1.Donate. Donating what you don’t need to those who do need it is a

great way for payback to your community. Making someone else happy will reflect on your affections too. So start today and filter your closet from zero, and remember what you don’t use, someone else needs it.

2.Will you be my....Volunteer? volunteering means giving time for

bettering, whether it’s on campus, church, or a local charity might sound small but defiantly valuable for someone else. After all volunteering will reflect as a component of your active citizenship, and your community engagement by socializing and helping.

3. Put the fun in fundraising. Fundraising itself is fun, it gets better

when it’s for a good cause, put a small amount and take it to a nearby elderly home on valentines day, they will appreciate it.

4. Send heart shaped letters to your friends, family, and cousins

you haven’t talked to a for awhile. One great idea is to send letters to hospitals concerning cancer patients.

5. Remember those who serve you, whether it’s an old professor, or your parents, anyone who loves you and constantly gives without asking for a return is worth remembering! Bake some cookies and share!

6. Be grateful throughout the day, remember to be grateful for living

in a peaceful lifestyle and enjoy the opportunity to be with your family, friends, and enjoy a home cooked meal. Remind yourself of the grace bestowed upon living in America.

7. Adopt a pet for the day adopting a pet for one day is no harm as Article By: Zainab Alkhamis


very year at this time, we have the great opportunity to celebrate and enjoy Valentines day. It’s the day to spread love and exchange joy to one another. 14th of February shouldn’t be the only day you remember your loved ones only, it should be everyday with small gestures to your surroundings. One way to celebrate valentines day is to give back to your community. Some charitable ideas here:


much as it’s good. Studies show that adopting a pet for a day makes you feel better by stimulating physical activity, enhance your overall attitude, and offers a constant companionship.

8. Love your environment plant a small plant at your backyard, take

good care of it, so get your organic flowers from the farmers market today and you will always remember that you got it for valentines day. Most of the farmers market take a percent of those flowers to be donated so try to find one of those and you get to complete two of this checklist!

9. Lastly, treat yourself! Go to a spa, or get a massage, and relax.


Valentine’s Date Ideas: W

Polar Vortex Edition

ith Valentine’s Day coming up you might be looking for somewhere sweet to take your sweetheart. Yeah, I went there, but hear me out. Buffalo may currently seem like a cold and frozen wasteland but there are plenty of ways to heat things up for your Valentine’s date, or not. Conveniently listed here for you are options ranging from warm and cozy, to outdoorsy and adventurous, perfect for any kind of couple looking for the right level of romance for the big V-day.

Indoors Picnic

Article By: Angelina Bruno

Surprise your date with an indoor Valentine’s picnic. This is a very easy, cute and warm idea that ladies will love. Grab one of your blankets, a clean one preferably, and lay it out on the floor. Maybe add some pillows, or put a flower in some sort of makeshift vase to add a nice touch to your setup—candles would be nice too but your neighbors probably wouldn’t be too pleased if you set their dorm on fire so maybe steer clear of that option. If you are feeling fancy and have access to a kitchen and ingredients, cook a nice meal to serve to your significant other picnic style. If you can’t cook or get to the grocery store, just use your meal plan and pick up their favorite food. Even cheeseburgers and fries will seem special if you put them on plates and Au Bon Pain has lots of nice salads, soups and sandwiches. When you’re done, put a movie on and you can snuggle the night away. Park Side Candy Park Side Candy is a great location for a date. If you don’t have a car you can get to south campus by stampede bus. From there it is just a short walk from the bus stop down to the corner of Mainstreet and Winspear Avenue. It may look a bit rundown on the outside but trust me when I say it is absolutely adorable inside. Once you enter the warm little shop, you will be transported back almost 90 years to when the shop opened in 1927. Around Valentine’s Day, the store is filled to the brim with boxes and bags of delicious, freshly made chocolates and candies, produced in their factory right next door. They also have an old-fashioned style soda and ice cream bar with a cozy little booth in the back that would be perfect for a Valentine’s date. Don’t forget to try the Buffalo delicacy sponge candy while you’re there, they are famous for it! Albright Knox Art Gallery

Albright Knox Art Gallery

Art Galleries are a great place to take someone you love. You can stroll hand in hand through the peaceful corridors all while admiring great works from artists throughout the ages. Currently, one of the special exhibitions at the gallery is Anselm Kiefer: Beyond Landscape. The main pieces by the German born artist form the core of a group of paintings of landscapes, which artists used to capture not only the scenery but also the connections between nature history and aesthetics. If you get hungry from contemplating all the pretty fields of flowers and their meaning, there are also plenty of great restaurants in the Elmwood Avenue area. Remember though, if you want to incorporate dinner on Valentine’s Day, you better get on making that reservation ASAP. If you like the idea, but you are not feeling it for Valentine’s Day, keep in mind that admission to the museum is free the first Friday of every month. Ice-skating Remember how the perfect date in any early 2000s TV show or movie was an ice-skating date? Now you can have your own perfect skate date, gliding around the rink hand in hand—or if one of you is more proficient than the other, possibly inching your way around the rink until one of you falls, pulling you both down into a pile of giggles. The best part is you can go to the outdoor rink right on UB’s campus. When UB finally thaws out, don’t forget the Northtown (formerly Pepsi) Center, located down the road on Amherst Manor Drive. The Eternal Flame If you and your significant other are seriously adventurous people, try your luck hiking to the eternal flame in Chestnut Ridge Park. Sure the hills and rocks are frozen, wet and slippery, but if you make it to the waterfall where the flame burns, the moment will be pretty magical and extremely beautiful in this crystalline winter world. Disclaimer: This is probably the most dangerous option on this list so you definitely did not hear it from me.

The Eternal Flame

Whether you can weather the weather or not, hopefully you have found a suitable idea on this list, perhaps even the perfect fit for you and your special someone.


Article By: Adam Johnson

Be Mein


oll over James Patterson, there’s a new bestselling author in town. Well, actually not that new. Really he’s quite old. And quite dead. But regardless James, perhaps it’s time to give up writing because the public has chosen a Mr. Adolf Hitler as their go-to source for a quiet Sunday afternoon. That’s right; everybody’s favorite anti-Semitic Austrian dictator responsible for the institutionalized slaughter of millions has become an e-book bestseller, with numerous versions of the English translation of Mein Kampf finding their way onto various top selling e-book lists around the English speaking world. As Chris Faraone noted in his article for “On Amazon, there are more than 100 versions of Mein Kampf for sale in every conceivable print and audio format… Of those 100 iterations, just six are e-books- yet all six of them rank among the 10 best-selling versions overall. And those are just the ones people are paying for.” (Side note: I wonder who reads the audiobook version of Mein Kampf?) Examine the paid bestselling political e-books on Itunes and you will find several versions of Mein Kampf alongside the likes of conservative pundits Charles Krauthammer and Sarah Palin as well as influential texts like Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals and F.A. Hayek’s The Road to Serfdom.

have on your electronic device several megabytes of ravings by a man who believed that to retain the ‘racial purity’ of the Germans, he would have to exterminate virtually everyone else. Thanks to this ease of access, the interested can now easily get their hands upon the text. And as the numbers show, there are quite a few interested. Of course, some of these folks may just have a morbid fascination or are studying a key figure in world history. But there has been a noted increase in Far Right political activity in the recent years, particularly in nations hard-hit by the Global Recession. Groups like Golden Dawn in Greece, the British National Party (BNP) and the National Democratic Party of Germany have reacted to their countries’ troubles by embracing xenophobia, Islamophobia, homophobia and in some cases, violence. Last November, leaders of two leading far-right European parties (France’s Front National and Holland’s Freedom Party) joined together in an effort to internally attack the structure of the European Union. Whether or not they succeed (most likely not), the growing tide of anti-immigrant and nationalist attitudes are creating a stifling atmosphere in which violence may seem to be a viable political solution. Ultra conservative terrorist attacks like the ones committed in Norway in 2011 and against a Sikh Temple in Wisconsin the next year can be seen as extreme examples of this resurgent far-right ideology.

There are many questions raised by this rather absurdist situation: 1.People pay for e-books? 2.People are paying for an e-book version of Mein Kampf when there are numerous free versions available? 3.Do people know who Hitler was? 4.Do people really want to read a 700 page book written by a man who can’t even shave his facial hair properly? 5.Why is the book so popular on the internet anyway?

Even democratic states like France have undertaken actions against those deemed outsiders, forcefully evicting thousands of Roma in the past few years despite guaranteed right of travel under the European Union. French Interior Minister Manuel Valls (ironically and hilariously an immigrant from Barcelona, Spain) gave an official voice to the policy last year by saying that the Roma “were not like the French and would never fit into society.” Amnesty International has heavily criticized the statements, saying it reinforces negative stereotypes of the Roma and encourages animosity against the group. Such intolerance has been on the rise throughout the continent in the past few years.

Sadly, I can really only approach the last question. The great thing about e-readers is that they provide a degree of privacy in regards to our reading habits. Thanks to great advances in tablet technology, gone are the days when academics and/ or swastika fanatics would have to pick the book off the shelf, carry it to the register in plain view of everybody and place physical money into the hands of a suspicious cashier. Now it is only a matter of having to point and click; and voilà, you now

Of course, there is no clear link between the increased sales of Mein Kampf and rising ultra-nationalism. This is only a mere observation of concurrent trends. For all I know, everyone spending their hard earned cash on the book are really just interested in the life of a frustrated artist, in which case, why not try something else? Personally, I would recommend Natsume Soseki’s Kusamakura. The language is rather beautiful, and Soseki doesn’t call for the extermination of an entire race!

A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth For a 1300+ page novel, this is a surprisingly fast read. Set in post-Independence 1950s India, the novel follows 19-year-old Lata. “You too shall marry a boy I choose,” declares her mother in the novel’s opening sentence. Lata proceeds to fall in love with Kabir, a relationship her mother is bound to disapprove of as he is a Muslim. Another guy, Amit, in turn falls in love with Lata and proceeds to write poetry as a dating device (“I’d marry anyone who wrote me this,” Lata’s friend observes—a sentiment I quite concur with). And then there’s Haresh, who Lata’s mother finds for her, whose lack of erudition or pretense throws Lata off. Interwoven into the story of Lata’s choice is the state of the country with all its problems and pretentions. The book

Before Sunrise (film) (1995) I always say that my favorite movies are ones in which people talk and do little else. Before Sunrise definitely falls squarely into that category. A French grad student, Celine, and an American, Jesse, meet each other on a train to Paris. They start talking, and Jesse convinces Celine to get off at Vienna, and the couple walk the city, talking all night long. In turns funny, perhaps ploddingly philosophical, and whimsical, the movie winds to an end with the night, signaling the time when Celine must leave. It is the intricacies of the couple’s myriad conversations throughout the night that feel fascinating, and rarely forced. Love Story by Erich Segal A quick read to counter the length of the previous book. Jennifer Cavilleri, a music major at Radcliffe, meets Oliver Barrett, a Harvard ice hockey player at the Radcliffe library. In a few lines of swift banter, Jennifer gets Oliver to ask her out (“What makes you so smart?” I wouldn’t go for coffee with you.” “Yeah well I wouldn’t ask you” “That’s what makes you stupid.”), and their romance unfolds in witty lines and charming characterization. Opposites in nearly every way, the two nevertheless make it through family disapproval and financial hardship, only to be met with the inevitability of a cancer diagnosis for Jennifer—not a spoiler, for the story is recounted by Oliver looking back after her death. What makes the book so good is the easy dialogue that captures the affection and humor the two bring to the relationship, and the specter of an untimely death only renders it more memorable.

So as everything seems to devolve into a haze of clichés and professions of everlasting love over the next week, read these books as affirmation that more interesting things exist. If in a relationship, do pause to consider how you’re (hopefully) infinitely better off. And if you’re not in a relationship, consider renouncing the idea of ever entering into one.

Ever After

In the terrain of non-perfect relationships from the very beginning, the book tells the story of Nick and Amy Dunne’s relationship, starting on the day of their fifth anniversary. The story alternates between Nick’s recounting present day events—where Amy goes missing without a trace from their home in Missouri—and Amy’s diary entries which journal the downward spiral of their marriage after Nick loses his journalism job in New York. All evidence seems to neatly point towards Nick murdering his wife, even as Nick starts following the clues left by Amy for him in a scavenger hunt leading up to his anniversary gift. Aww, you think, the wronged wife trying to piece her marriage back together against all odds. The conclusion seems foregone, till halfway through the book when every word that’s been said so far is called into question in an elaborate reversal of everything the reader expects. Amy’s characterization is brilliantly done, and the book is amazingly addictive. The ending might be traditional in its outline, but the actuality of the characters getting to it definitely puts “like must marry like” in a new light.

moves between various settings and people from toiling peasants to math prodigies, from fictional villages to Delhi and Calcutta. And finally, Lata’s choice is one that I might vehemently disagree with, but nevertheless is the only one that makes sense.


Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Article By: Sushmita Sircar


mong the things that make Twilight such a terrible love story is the fact that it ends happily. In fact, every single romance novel that I’ve ever read that has gone well for the characters has for the most part left me feeling profoundly dissatisfied. Perhaps reasonable, calm relationships are the stuff that real life should be made of, but when it comes to fiction, it’s the deviation from any sort of happy normality that makes them memorable. Here then are some perhapsunhappy-but-nevertheless-good books that play with the expectations of the genre:


Parting Shots I Dream of Figure Skating

Article By: Keighley Farrell I really could care less about the Winter Olympics. I think that they’re super boring, and this year, they’re also outstandingly sketchy. But one event is very near and dear to my heart: figure skating. My god, is that shit majestic. The last time I tried to put blade to ice, I shuffled clumsily along the wall of the rink,

eyes wide in panic, trying not to get in the way of the toddlers whizzing by. Right before I reached the door, I slipped, Looney Tunes style, and ate it so hard that I broke my ankle. So, to be clear, I am not graceful. But these crazy mofo’s make it look so easy, with their perfectly choreographed jumps and their insanely nauseating spins. I could watch them twirling and spinning for hours, and I will. Some people like to throw shade at male figure skaters, poking fun at the pageantry of it all. But let’s be real; those men are way more ripped, and way more talented, than many of the “manlier” professional athletes could ever dream to be. And they have

50 Shades

he King of Valentine’s Day is running T scared. That’s right Nicholas Sparks is even afraid of 50 Shades of Grey, well the

movie release that is. The producers of Sparks’ latest film adaptation, The Longest Ride, are already prepping for the mayhem that is bound to ensue when actor Jamie Dornan and actress Dakota Johnson fill the silver screen with some sexy time, directed by Sam Taylor Johnson, by moving its release date to April 3rd 2015. So what will go up against this picture on the most romantic day of the year? A remake of Poltergeist, and a sequel, Spongebob Squarepants 2. Take a moment to let that one sink in. Setting aside the absurdity of these film choices, let’s just think about all the things that can possibly go wrong. If any one of the moviegoers on this fateful Valentine’s Day of the next year of this century, 2015, walk into the wrong theater, it will be an absolute disaster. Children will be scarred for life, either by viewing intercourse or a terrifying ghost flick. Who brings kids to the movies on Valentine’s Day anyway? How many poor 22

fantastic taste in campy, skate-able music. If you have the chance, go ahead and Youtube some famous skaters doing their thing. Really pay attention to the precision necessary to launch your body in to the air and spin it mercilessly, and then stick the landing on those skinny, deadly blades. It’s absolutely insane. The power contained in those beautiful ladies’ thighs puts Beyoncé to shame. It’s so crazy. So this Olympic season, give these skaters a chance. Really appreciate the beauty, the grace, and the badassery of it all. Because lord knows the rest of it isn’t worth it.

Article By: Angelina Bruno little rascals will be abandoned altogether, left by parents who consider Spongebob a perfectly acceptable babysitter while they go get it on in the back row of the next theater over. There will be a group of children in the lost and found, clinging to their stuffed Spongebobs just hoping mommy and daddy will remember to take them home too. While the consequences for theater confused adults will be less dire, those who swap theaters for films Poltergeist and 50 Shades will most likely be equally terrified by the thrillers they have entered, although not necessarily in the way they had originally anticipated. The only good that can come of this lineup is the possibility that the lonely hearts club members out there on V-day get the chance to come out and rediscover their love for Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, Sandy Cheeks and of course everyone’s favorite, Gary. I mean it has only been 10 years since the last movie came out. Feeling old yet? This year’s Valentine movie lineup is headlined by romantic blockbuster Winter’s Tale, starring Colin Farrell and Jessica Brown

Findlay—Sybil from Downton Abbey who looks frighteningly similar to Scarlet Johansson. If you are not into the whole Valentine’s scene don’t worry, there are some other great movies coming out like the children’s flick Moo Moo and the Three Witches. It might sound like it is about a cow but it is actually about a mean little orphan girl turned into a cat by three witches! If that is not to your taste either then check out the straight to DVD titles including, The Slut Always Rides Shotgun. I don’t know about you but that sure sounds like a winning lineup to me. Let’s just be thankful we don’t have to watch My Bloody Valentine in 3D and move on with our lives.


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