Generation Magazine - April 12, 2011 - Gas is expensive right now...
Featured Also 05 | Editorâ€™s Letter
photo by d. olivier
Thereâ€™s a word for forcing people to work for free.
07 | Agenda
Movies, sports, music...and art.
08 | He Says, She Says
Donald Trump, grinding, hiding, and getting drunk at school. Disturbing.
09 | UB Bucket List
Hopefully none of you will actua- lly expire while attempting any of these items.
10 | Public Money Our library and our referendum. 11 | Summer-cize Getting beach ready. Start now.
12 | Gala Fashion What to wear to upcoming spring shindigs.
14 | BJ Novak Squared For real this time.
(716)2010-GEN Text us your comments, advice questions, texts from last night, picture messages or whatever else you want other people to see (and we do text back). 716- 201-0436.
NYC image by deltabelun on flickr
15 | Hit or Bulls***
Things that are good and things that are not-so-good.
16 | Urban Gardening
Farming in the city.
18 | The Panda Bear Steamy short literature. 20 | Literary
Find those words people!
22 | Tech
Windows 8? Worth it because its free.
23 | Album Review ...And new music
Generation Magazine 2010 - 2011 Staff
Exploitation of Student Interns
At the beginning of the year, I wrote a letter encouraging everyone to get ahead in their careers by looking for an internship. Internships are a great way to get a foot in the door of whatever industry you are looking to get into. According to the College Employment Research Institute, seven and a half million out of ten million college students will take on an internship at some point during their college career. The problem is, less than 35 percent of these internships offer any type of compensation and the rest are forcredit only. There is nothing wrong with having an unpaid internship during the school year if you’re willing to do the work. You can just tack on the cred-
Courtesy of Socialite
its to your semester tuition and think of it as an extra class in which your skills are underutilized. But there is something wrong with for-credit summer internships. Because you are not in school and you have to get credit for the internship, you end up having to pay summer tuition on those credits. Considering the way this system works, these internships come off as simple exploitation. If you think about it, colleges and employers have a “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” agreement. By offering up credit for the free work that you do, employers get to evade the U.S. Department of Labor laws, which state that employees must be paid for the work they do. On the other hand, universities like UB, get that cash-money for summer tuition, which is currently around $250 per credit for in-state students. For out-of-state students, one credit is around $600. Most internship will want you to work a certain amount of time during the summer, and each credit counts as 50 hours of work, so if you have to work 200 hours, you will be paying $1000 in-state and $2400 outof-state. Let’s get this straight again. Students have to PAY UB thousands of dollars to be able to work for FREE and
Editor in Chief Dino Husejnovic
get a couple of points on their transcript? Is it just me that thinks that this is absolute bullshit? What happened to getting rewarded for hard and honest work? During the industrial revolution, when child labor was legal, children were still earning money, up to 20 percent of what adults were making. At least they had the decency to give the children candy money. Nowadays, employers have smart and hard-working grown-up students working for absolute crap. Most don’t even offer up to buy lunch, reimburse for transportation or god-forbid provide for relocation expenses. Instead, it all comes out of our pockets, while UB sits on their pile of money and watches us sweat. No wonder they tout their internship programs. This should be outlawed. UB should not be charging summer tuition on these credits. The least anyone could do is offer up a few free credits for the hard work that we do. At the same time, the reality is that the job market sucks. Most unpaid internships won’t lead to a job, since there are thousands of unemployed seasoned workers who are overqualified vying for the positions students should be getting. When it comes to unpaid summer internships, I believe that you’re simply throwing away your money. It certainly makes it harder to get an entry into your desired job market, but you’re better off working a paid summer job that has nothing to do with your major and using the time to network or look for a sugar daddy. But if you do decide to look for an unpaid summer internship, keep these factors in mind: you will be doing crappy work like washing dishes, making copies or buying coffees while getting screwed from the employer and your school. It won’t be a wonderful feeling. Good luck!
Dino Husejnovic Editor in Chief
Creative Director Elizabeth Flyntz
Contributing Designer Jordan Rosenberg
Associate Editors Seon McDonald Steve Neilans Allison Balcerzak
Circulation Director Rashid Dakhil-Rivera
Contributing Staff Josh Q. Newman Nathan Grygier Jessica Brant Allison Ruiz
Business Manager Ariella Goro
Ad Manager Tommy Zhao
Cover photo by Marina Bayramova. Stock photos courtesy of stock.xchng Generation Magazine is owned by Sub-Board I, Inc., the student service corporationat the State University of New York at Buffalo. The Sub-Board I, Inc. Board of Directors grants editorial autonomy to the editorial board of Generation. Sub-Board I, Inc. (the publisher) provides funding through mandatory student activity fees and is in no way responsible for the editorial content, editorial structure or editorial policy of the magazine. Editorial and business offices for Generation are located in Suite 315 in the Student Union on North Campus. The telephone numbers are (716) 645-6131 or (716) 645-2674 (FAX). Address mail c/o Room 315 Student Union University at Buffalo, Amherst, NY 14260 Submissions to Generation Magazine should be e- mailed to email@example.com by 1 p.m. Tuesday, a week before each issue’s publication. This publication and its contents are the property of the students of the State University of New York at Buffalo 2011 by Generation Magazine, all rights reserved. The first 10 copies of Generation Magazine are free. Each additional copy must be approved by the editor in chief. Requests for reprints should be directed to the editor in chief. Generation Magazine neither endorses nor takes responsibility for any claims made by our advertisers. Press run 5,000.
ubgeneration.com | 5
photo by d. olivier
CONCERT|TRACE ADKINS|APRIL 16
One of country music’s understated but revered stars, Trace Adkins will serenade a Niagara Falls audience with his bevy of hits. Venue: Seneca Niagara Events Center. Tickets start at $50
EXHIBITION|MASS POTENTIAL | APRIL 14
Your favorite Media Study grad students will be presenting a selection of their works in the Visual Studies Gallery (CFA Basement). Show is open from the 11-15th with a reception Thursday April 14 from 5-7PM.
EVENT| LIBRARY OBSCURA|APRIL 17
MOVIE | WATER FOR ELEPHANTS | APRIL 22
Based on the NY Times bestselling novel starring Robert Pattinson of the twilight series and Reese Witherspoon, the story revolves around a man who falls into a dangerous relationship with the wife of a sadistic ringmaster in a travelling circus.
SPORTS | BUFFALO SABRES PLAYOFFS | APRIL 13-25
Sure the Sabres team is about 1 point away from claiming a spot in the playoffs but they need your support now more than ever. Venue: HSBC Arena. Tickets start at $40
Save our free books! (and movies, and internet, and community, and music, and research and…) LIBRARY OBSCURA is an event dedicated to the exposure and circulation of information and will include performance, films, art, music, food and more! Location: Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum (North Hall), 220 North St. Free and open to the public!
CONCERT | SARA BAREILLES | APRIL 17
The fresh and honeyed voice of Sara Bareilles who trilled listeners with her mainstream hit “Love Song” will help ring in the spring. Her recent album “Kaleidoscope Heart” has sold over 90, 000 copies in the US so far! Venue: L Koessler Athletic Center Canisius College Tickets start at $25 ubgeneration.com | 7
TEXT US YOUR QUESTIONS! 716-201-0436 8 | ubgeneration.com
He Says, She Says An advice column divided by the sexes, starring Catherine Prendergast and Nathan Grygier
My friends and I like to play hide and seek around campus. We’ve found a couple good places to hide but were always looking for more. Any ideas? NG: You could always try to find a way into the fabled underground tunnel system, that would make you a legend in the world of hide and seek. It depends how intense of players you are, because if you’re really into it you should just hide in random lecture halls during classes. That way your friends have to make an ass of themselves by interrupting a class that’s in progress to look for you. Try that, I guarantee they won’t be able to find you. CP: Sorry but I am a big fan of hide and seek and play on campus myself. I could not give you all my ideas without exposing my own hiding places. In fact, I am playing right now, I have people from the Spectrum searching for me at this very moment, desperately trying to figure out my Generation brilliance. There are several hidden rooms in the CFA; there is even a secret passageway through one of the girls bathrooms… but I have said too much already! Do you think Donald Trump would make a great president? NG: No, I don’t think that Trump would be a great president. I don’t even think he would be a good president for that matter. Two-thirds of the world already hates us, why should we give the remaining onethird a reason to laugh at us. America cannot have a president whose had multiple reality TV show series and has publicly feuded with Rosie O’Donnell. That’s just the worst kind of PR that there is. CP: He most certainly would, if by president you mean president of kicking poor people out of their homes, having a lame reality show, and just being a scumbag in general—boom. But in all seriousness, if he became president, we would all eventually get fired, and the unemployment rates would spike higher than ever—not really America’s best interests right now. What do you think of pants?
NG: Hmmm, pants you say? I think for the most part I’m pretty propants. They do provide a lot of benefits after all. Although I wish that they’d make fuzzy pants for guys to wear in the winter though, and that they would be socially acceptable to wear out in public. Jeans just don’t do the job of warmth in the winter. Also, I’m very pro-girls-wearingpants-as-leggings, because that is a terrific sight. CP: Not half as great as skirts. What’s the best plan of attack for getting drunk at the Spring Gala? I hear the refreshments are light. NG: Bro-Jay Simpson, have you ever heard of the Wine Rack? If not, let me enlighten you. It’s a bra that holds wine in it, and you can drink the wine through a straw. Now remember it doesn’t have to be wine, any liquid will work. So you force your date to wear this and progressively sip it throughout the night. Sure, your friends might wonder why you’re drinking something connected to your date’s boobs, and also be confused how your date’s once bodacious ta-tas have shrunk progressively throughout the night, but it’s worth it right? CP: Buy (1) forty and chug that shit at home before you leave. You don’t want to be stuck at the event, underage and sober. If you drink before hand, you will have a good time immediately, as opposed to sneaking drinks the whole night hoping to get drunk. Also, beer makes your bladder hyperactive, so if you actually manage to get some other form of alcohol, you will have a legitimate excuse to run to the bathroom repeatedly and do work. What’s the sexiest thing I can do for my boyfriend? His 21st birthday is coming up. NG: Well I guess it really depends on what kind of guy your boyfriend is, because different guys obviously enjoy different things. I mean if he’s a nerdy video-gamer type guy, you should make one of those Poke-bra things that have been surfacing all over the internet. Any guy who loves playing games would love that. You could also just go with the tradition-
al threesome, but that also comes with the risk of him never being satisfied with you again sexually. Let him watch TV during sex, I bet he’d love it. CP: You know what would be sexy? Act like “one of the guys” the entire day. This will require you to “forget his birthday”, hang with your boys, ignore some texts and calls, and then call him and say “of course I didn’t forget your birthday sweetie! We have reservations at eight!” and quickly make reservations at some family restaurant. Keeping him on his toes and surprising him with your “nonchalant-ness” will be so refreshing it will morph into super sexy. My girlfriend thinks it’s OK to grind with other guys at the club. I think it’s stupid. What do you guys think? NG : Your girlfriend sounds like quite the catch bromosapien. You need to assert yourself because that shit is just obnoxious and not cool. How would she like it if you did the same, smacked your genitals against random strangers? You should either try that plan of attack, or go with her clubbing and if she feels the need to grind on a rando then you must proceed to confront the rando until she learns her lesson. CP: It sounds like she’s just doing it to make you jealous. I think it’s okay, there’s clothing between the flesh, so no harm done. As long as she comes home with you after the club, don’t stress too much. Recently I met this girl and brought her back to my place after dinner. I knew this girl didn’t want to “hit it & quit it”, but she was definitely into me, saying how “smooth” and “handsome” I am. I just found out that she now has a bf, albeit through Facebook’s damn news feed. Should I risk asking her what happened, or should I stay in the dreaded friend zone and hope for an opportunity? NG : I feel like a part of this story is missing. What happened when you went back to her place after dinner? I mean, you said you could tell that she was into you, so did you proceed to make a move? If I were
you, I would ask her what the deal is because some girls are lame and just go on random relationships on Facebook with their friends because they think it’s hilarious. It’s better to be upfront and ask WTF than always being that friend who’s just smooth and handsome, because that leads to you getting set-up with her grenade friends and having to go on double dates with her. Eek! CP: You should have made harder moves. She probably did want to, as you say, “hit it & quit it”, and then the morning after she would have realized that she would want to hit it again and again. Girls sometimes need an obvious indication that a guy is into her. Maybe you were too ambiguous, and she was like hey, this other guy wants to be facebookofficial boyfriend-girlfriend, and I cant tell if he was into me so hey why not? More aggressive next time, buddy. Why must UB screw everything up? The student “HUB” sucks. I have no idea how to use this crap. NG: Yeah, damn UB! It’s not like they have people you can easily contact if you need help or anything, or people to somehow advise you in which direction to take. If only those people existed, maybe we could refer to them as advisers? But they would only exist in a perfect world, and unfortunately UB refuses to provide us with these fabled helpy wizards! Why must you taunt me UB! CP: I know right, and have you seen the advertisements for the HUB? “Change is good?” As if the change they are describing is the same type of change Obama used as his main campaign. Comparing the HUB to our president is just insulting. But there some positive aspects to the HUB, one being that you just push one button after your classes are in your shopping cart, instead of putting in a different registration number one at a time. Speaking of time, the HUB also uses normal time, as opposed to army time the previous system had. I can just imagine the number of people who saw “13:00” and thought their class was at three. I don’t know, maybe this change is good. GENERATION April 12, 2011
By Kathryn Przybyla
Participate in Oozefest
Can you believe it? The end of the semester is slowly creeping up on us and we are already planning ahead for finals (sort of). But at a past staff meeting, some of the more seasoned UB students and myself were reminiscing about the good times we’ve had on campus. We talked about things we’ve done, things we wish we had done, and things we still have time to pull off. This turned into a bucket list of sorts. We have compiled some of our greatest memories and adventures and will be offering them to our younger peers to do before they graduate. We couldn’t include every little adventure on this list – but if you have some great stories or ideas for things to check off, send them our way to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Probably one of the dirtiest things you can do at UB, it is most definitely worth your while to register for this mud volleyball tournament and partake at least once before you graduate. Get 10 friends together or make a team through your club to duck tape your shoes on. The pictures will be priceless.
Find the roof of Capen One of the most prominent buildings on North Campus, many students have attempted to get to the roof of Capen Hall. At sunset, around the end of the spring semester, the Capen roof will give you the best view of UB. It really puts the beauty of Baird Point to shame. Just don’t get caught.
Park in the faculty/staff lots before 3pm Although location selection might take a little bit of research, most parking patrollers on campus tend to check tags on a schedule. Find a spot that the front of your car faces away from the road. The right lane of the Student Union faculty lot is pretty tight to drive through, and therefore less likely for patrollers to check parking tags. The winter is good too – no one wants to scrape snow off every windshield to see if it’s a faculty car.
Make the cover of the Spectrum This one is actually not as difficult as you might think. Making the cover can be approached two different ways. The first would be to do something really good – run for student government, organize a huge community service effort, etc. The other option would be to do something crazy – swim across Lake Lasalle to cut the Fall Fest line, get involved in a scandal, etc. The choice is yours.
Take an Athletics class For a freshman or a sophomore with a limited amount of credits, it’s almost impossible to get into one of these. From ice skating, yoga, backpacking and Latin dance, this will be the best 1 credit class you take at UB. No pressure or intense exams, just a class to blow off steam and learn something. Register for these ATH classes early and often.
Attend a meeting for a club you never joined Everyone has a passion for something. What the Student Association has a passion for is approving groups of kids with the same passion to form a recognized club. Seriously, there are like 4 million clubs on campus at UB with interests ranging from role playing, math, sports, anime, and dance. There is literally something for everyone. Stop by
one of these club meetings to see what it’s all about. You will either be pleasantly surprised or have something to laugh about later. Either way, there’s free pizza.
an outdoor lunch or end of the semester meeting. Plus, we need more excuses to enjoy the sunshine.
Get something published
Play in/on Lake LaSalle
Voicing your opinion and taking a stand on something is not always easy, but it shows confidence. Didn’t like what you read in Generation? Send us a letter to the editor and there’s a pretty good chance we will run it. Adding things like opinion letters, articles, etc to your portfolio can only help your chances at landing a job. Plus it looks good on a resume.
For those of you not concerned with things like personal hygiene, heading out for a swim on Lake LaSalle might sounds like an adventure. By all means go for it. I don’t know what exactly they’ve been dumping in there, but it’s not pretty. In the winter, you can skate on the lake for Winterfest – which is so much more awesome (but colder). Choose wisely my friends.
Complete an entire Buffalo Bar crawl
Get back at a professor that screwed you over
Yes we have all seen them dragging their feet and literally crawling down Chippewa in the wee hours of the morning, but who among them pulled it off? There are usually a few crawls here in Buffalo every year, so don’t get sloppy. Put your game face on and get ready to check all the downtown spots off your list. Pictures are needed for proof (and for possible posting on Facebook – depending on how the night goes).
A side note on this one – make sure that the professor has no authority on whether you actually graduate. Once this is cleared, feel free to tell them off, explain how awful at teaching they were, and how you’ll never give them a high ratemyprofessor. com rating ever. Actually, I would suggest this after graduation – it’s the perfect conversation starter when you randomly run into them in public.
Get frisky on campus
Write for Generation
There are legends that have been passed on from year to year about the best places to do the nasty on UB grounds. While Baird Point and various building basements are the most popular, we have a better idea. Test out one of the locked study rooms in the libraries. Not only do you have complete privacy in a public place, you will be having a much better time than studying for your chemistry final. Shhhhh!
It’s pretty much the coolest bunch of kids you will ever meet, hanging out and talking about incredibly interesting stuff. We like to partying, enjoy life and have no regrets. It is basically a win-win situation.
Discover the Student Union balcony
Editor’s Note: These are just fun suggestions. Please don’t attempt if you’re generally considered a dumbass. Generation is not responsible for any accidents, damages or fees associated with illegal parking, intoxication, public indecency charges, lack of swimming skills or emotional damages. Good luck!
When the weather is nice (and it’s getting better with every day) trek up to the third floor of the student union and hang out on the balcony terrace. There are picnic tables up there and it is the prime location for ubgeneration.com | 9
CC flickr photo Bennet V
If the governor and our state government continue to reduce funding for SUNY and financial aid for students, as they have in the recently passed budget, it is no surprise that revenue to simply sustain the colleges, universities, and schools that make the SUNY system so unique will shift towards students and/or private sources... if we don’t challenge the cuts at the state level.
symposia, special activities and club budgets. Another word for this fee: tax. A tax that we vote on. A tax that we can decide to raise. A tax that’s use can be clearly and directly understood. A tax that proves lower isn’t automatically better. Certainly the comparison of a small selfdetermined fee with the massive, complex and at times opaque structure of New York state, SUNY or even UB is a stretch. But even this comparison is more nuanced than the logic of lower taxes automatically being the best for our state.
The challenge is to not maintain a simplistic either/or formula in our own institutions. All the employees and students of the SUNY system cannot be dismissed as a “special interest lobby.” Before tuition and fees are raised and before the risk of privatizing our public investment are determined to be the only options the rhetoric of Albany should be challenged by our community of administrators, academics, students and employees. As a University it is our responsibility to offer a sophisticated and imaginative critique of our role as a public university and why funding SUNY is vital and vision that built the SUNY system, for our state’s future. a system founded with the mission of providing a quality and affordable education, This spring graduate students of the is obfuscated by comparing budgets from GSA will be voting on our own fee. We one year to the next -- comparing taxes/ have the ability to increase the services revenue raising -- and not looking at the offered and the funds that are redistributed larger picture: one that includes the past through our Mark Diamond Research and future of public interest and investment. grants, conference funding, scholarly publications, non-profit outreach, graduate
If we don’t advocate for more state funding for SUNY who will? Editors Note: GSA Election and Referendum voting is coming up. Times and locations below. Monday, April 11 ~ 10am 4pm Research Studies center Lobby (RPCI Campus)
We Are Not A Special Interest By Olivier Delrieu-Shultze, President, GSA The rhetoric that is being played out in New York state rests on interpretations of revenue. Unfortunately the debate has been reduced to a simplistic formula that ignores long term investments. The decades of public investment and the work
Tuesday, April 12~ 10am – 4pm Harriman Hall Lobby (South Campus) Wednesday, April 13~ 9am-5pm GSA office 310 Student Union (North Campus) Thursday, April 14~ 9am – 5pm Student Union Lobby (North Campus)
LIBRARY OBSCURA On January 17th 1956 Allen Ginsberg rhetorically asked: “America why are your libraries full of tears?” The ghost of this question appeared during a recent visit to the downtown library where it has since been lingering, as if awaiting response. While there is no clear evidence of lamentation at the Central Library, there is a readable sadness in the air –at least to those familiar with the gradual changes (both subtle and obvious) occurring within this slowly darkening temple of free and shareable knowledge.
10 | ubgeneration.com
photo by d. olivier
Unless the library system finds a way to hold off a nearly $7 million deficit next year, its future remains precarious. The actions of the library Board of Trustees and Administration have always been and remain to be politically motivated. What are OUR motivations, citizens of Buffalo and Erie County? What are OUR priorities? With the way things are unfolding, public libraries across the country are struggling to continue as devastating cuts threaten their well-being. Some have already bitten the dust. Buffalo’s situation is more severe than most, as it has been operating on a budget way below national averages while patron activity has increased significantly, despite a shrinking county population. In a city where a third of the population is functionally illiterate, on top of a high
LIBRARY OBSCURA is an event dedicated to the exposure and circulation of information. It is an opportunity to unite the culturals, public, students and library staff in an effort to bring attention to what is happening to our public library system. Most importantly, LIBRARY OBSCURA is about community solidarity, about exploring future courses of action and celebrating the importance of libraries in interesting ways.
poverty rate and school dropouts, we cannot afford to lose or dilute the integrity of this most important public facility. If I may borrow from a concerned citizen: “It’s your library and it has been for 175 years. It does not belong to the County Executive, his political appointees or allies in Administration. Let’s remind our politicians, trustees, and administrators that we are all temporary custodians
for the public library. The library and its collections exist today because those that came before us took that role very seriously. Let’s make sure we do the same for those that come after us. As such, it is perfectly reasonable to question the actions, lack of action, and policies that the Trustees and Administrators have taken.”
A 30 minute documentary film “Swimming Upstream: The Funding Struggles of the Buffalo and Erie County Public Library System” by Sara McKenna will be premiered. A complete timetable of speeches and performances will be available at a later date. This event is FREE and OPEN to the PUBLIC. All ages welcome. This event will take place Sunday, April 17 from 3:00pm - 8:00pm at Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum (North Hall) 220 North Street in Buffalo. Search for the title on Facebook for more information.
We better get right down to the job.
GENERATION April 12, 2011
Getting in Summer Shape By Josh Q. Newman Although the weather is saying something else, spring is here with summer soon following. To help you get that summer beach body (and stay generally healthy, of course), we had a few words with Katherine Fredlund, a UB medical student and personal fitness trainer. What kind of fitness programs and facilities does UB offer to students? Katherine: UB has a lot to offer in terms of fitness facilities. We have gyms in both North and South campus, as well as bike trails, pools, basketball courts, football fields, and tennis courts – just to name a few. We also offer personal training to faculty and students. Personally, I’m a big proponent of the pool. How often should you work out? Katherine: I’d say you should do at least 30-45 minutes of physical activity every day. People should be out every day of the week. It really depends on what you’re into. You should always listen to your body and see what works best for you, whether it’s working out at the gym or playing sports. Ideally you should do what you like. Otherwise it won’t work. What about nutrition? Katherine: Nutrition trumps exercise. I really believe that. There’s a social expectation that simply because you’re skinny that you’re in good health. That is simply not true. You can work out all you want but if you don’t eat right and find yourself eating the same unhealthy foods from before, then you won’t make much progress. I would suggest going to www.mypyramid. gov to find out about the latest information about a healthy diet. It’s free! Are there any differences between the way a man should work out and a way a woman should? Katherine: Well, not really. Men do have more muscle mass on average but both sexes should train the same. That is, we should all do a mix of weightlifting and cardiovascular exercise. Sometimes women shy from
the gym because they are afraid of gaining muscle. Keep in mind, both men and women lose muscle mass every year in adulthood, so it’s important to gain and maintain muscle. Is there anything else that you would recommend to people that want to start working out? Katherine: Variety is very important. If you do one thing all the time, you may not get the results you want, especially if it’s boring. Find something that you like and stick to it. Make it part of your everyday life. From experience with friends and clients, I find that it takes some time for someone to get into working out, for someone to actually want to go to the gym. It may take time but that point will come. When it does, it will be great.
Exercise 2: Squats with ball i. Do 3 sets of 10-15 repetitions. Rest 60-90 seconds between each set. 1. Place the big ball between your back and the wall. Squat down. Try one-legged or hold dumbbells in your hands for more intensity.
Exercise 3: Standing Two-arm dumbbell swings
one foot, almost tapping the floor. Stand back up and bring ball back overhead. Do 15-20 of these to one side and then switch sides.
Exercise 5: Step-ups on Box with dumbbells i. Do 3 sets of 10-15 reps each leg. Rest 60-90 seconds between sets. 1. Pick Right leg to lead and step up on to box with Right leg, left leg follows, and then step down off of box leading with Right leg, left leg follows. Repeat for 15 reps, and then switch lead legs. Add dumbbells for more intensity.
i. Do 3 sets of 10-15 reps. Rest 60-90secondes between each set. 1. Use one dumbbell, holding it with both hands, squat down with dumbbell hanging between knees, and then stand up and bring arms up over a. 10-15 minute walking warm-up on your head at the same time. Slowly treadmill or bicycle. control the dumbbell b. 10 sets of stairs; one stair at a time and/ or two stairs at a time going up. One step at a time only, when coming down.
Exercise 1: Pushups on mat i. Do 3 sets of 10-15 repetitions of pushups on the mat taking 60seconds of rest between each set. 1. These pushups can be done on your toes or knees.
Exercise 4: Wood Chops with a weighted ball or dumbbell i. Do 3 sets of 15-20 reps, each side. Rest 60-90sec. 1. Start with a weighted ball or dumbbell in both hands. Stand up tall with the ball overhead, then squat down with both legs, bringing ball to the outside of
Exercise 6: Hamstring exercise on Ball i. Do 3 sets, holding each set for 20-45 seconds. Rest 60-90 seconds between sets. 1. Lying on back, place feet on ball, and begin set by pushing hips towards the ceiling, lifting buttocks off the floor. Hold this position. Try it with only one leg on the ball at a time, hovering the other leg 6in over the ball.
For the full routine and additional excercises, visit ubgeneration.com ubgeneration.com ubgeneration.com | 11| 11
By Kathryn Przybyla
Spring Gala Fashion
The event of the school year that most students look forward to is finally upon us. Spring Gala is taking place this year on April 16th at Samuel’s Grande Manor on Main Street in Williamsville. Hopefully you stopped by the SBI office this week to get your $30 ticket since they always sell fast. While pre-partying and get-togethers are a must for Gala, the next most important thing is planning your outfit selection. To help you break down the do’s and dont’s of style, Generation has thoughtfully pulled together some great options. Take note if you have an interest in looking hot.
Go bold with details
Now is your time to shine. Long gone are the days when a little black dress does anyone justice anymore. If you have the balls to rock some feathered trim and sequin encrusted prints – DO IT! This is the perfect look to make heads turn and never look away. Pair an insane dress with minimal accessories and very simple hair.
Toughen up your tulle
Floral prints are a classic for spring, but adding the usual strappy sandals is very overdone. Take a risk with some clunky black wedges (most likely from your winter shoe collection). Thick glasses paired with these statement pumps really take the girly-girl image out of a spring cocktail dress. Rock on my friends, rock on.
Cashmere & a bowtie
Play up the romance
Thank goodness for Natalie Portman and her role in making ballet inspired looks “in” again. This romantic style look includes the perfect shade of mauve and sweetheart neckline that screams damsel in distress. Neutral shades and soft fabric are dominating ready-to-wear looks and make the impeccable crossover to dress design.
Maxi to the max
For the bohemian goddess of the bunch, the floor length maxi dress might just be for you. This effortlessly chic style not only screams springtime, but is dressed down enough to be incredibly comfortable. No stiff satin here. Paired with embellished pumps, you really cannot go wrong. Be confident though, because the taller you are, the better the look is.
Brighten up the dance floor
It’s official. Florals have taken over the pattern & design world. While simple prints have been dominating spring styles in the past, bright contrasts have become the new black. Look for bold color combos of yellow and blue or green and orange. Color-blocking is very in and mixing it up with a floral pattern only puts you ahead of the fashion pack.
The go-to classic tie will never cease to be in style. But looking for something new to spice up a simple grey suit? Bowtie that baby up and without a doubt you will be the talk of the table during dinner conversation. Old school style really has never left.
Embrace summer colors
Guys have not always been known to take the biggest fashion risks, but adding or changing one thing to your wardrobe can really make the difference. Go for a brightly colored pant with a very simple and neutral jacket or shirt. Just that little splash of color will get all the ladies looking your way. Who can keep their eyes off this guy?
Vests are the new sexy
Let’s be honest here. How long after you arrive to Gala does the nice jacket actually stay on a guy? I’m thinking 20 minutes maximum. Rather than rocking the tie-less, jacket-less, rolled up sleeves look all night, consider a tailored vest. Not only will they keep you looking put-together, but girls love vests. It’s a known fact.
Dressed up, dressed down
It’s going to be hard to pull off a pair of jeans at Gala without getting some looks. Up for the challenge? You better dress that look up with a hat, impeccable tie, and fancy shoes. A perfectly tailored jacket is a must in this case too. No one will even look twice if you pull it off right. Enjoy the success that follows.
Stripes & Sports
Besides the floral trend that is dominating looks, nautical inspired styles have crept up and made a big impact. Blues, whites, reds and most importantly STRIPES are the look for this summer. Get ahead of the game and try a boldly striped shirt with a simple tie. If you are up to rocking the sneakers, make sure they are the hottest pair of kicks you have ever seen. Otherwise don’t bother.
Photos courtesy of LOOKBOOK.nu
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Hating to Love BJ Novak
By Jessica Brant
There’s a lot to love about B.J. Novak, who is most notable for his role as Ryan Howard the temp on NBC’s hit series The Office. But Novak recently ditched his desk for a standup mic when he came to perform at the 10th annual Student Association’s Comedy Series. Like his naughtynatured character on the show, you almost hate to love him. Here’s why I do.
He’s a Harvard grad. Who doesn’t love themselves some Ivy League? B.J. majored in literature and was a bit of a bookworm. So he’s an adorable nerd (Dream guy?). He wrote for the Harvard Lampoon and produced his own TV show titled “The B.J. Show” with a fellow classmate. It is at Harvard where he began to flourish as a writer. “I read a lot of books, few of them I remember. It was really about reading. It wasn’t a social life experience so much as I think a lot of other schools are, although I did have great friends,” Novak said. “It was a lot of reading and dreaming of what I would try to do one day as a writer.”
…whose witty word play borders between corny and clever. It’s part of his charm. Ev-
eryone for the most part was receptive to his stand-up, but I couldn’t help but feel that much of the laughter was out of kindness—polite chuckles that sounded only halfsincere. I’m guilty, I’ll admit it. “My girlfriend’s body is like poetry; it bores me,” only got my laugh because I was thinking about how darn cute he looked standing up there on stage and “I didn’t learn a thing in college. It’s my fault; I double-majored in psychology and reverse psychology,” got a smile because, again, who could deny those baby blues and adorable face for trying?
He likes children. Novak wanted the audience’s opinion on a “new children’s book” he was working on called “Wikipedia Brown,” in which the characters referred to Wikipedia Brown for guidance in solving problems. According to Wikipedia Brown, “The government caused 911 for no reason” and “Justin Beiber is the father of Bristol Palin’s child.” Which is true, I’m not so sure. …but plays with puppets. Novak has incorporated “Shy Puppet” into his stand-up act, a cowardice frog that can’t seem to muster up the courage to speak. I’m not going to lie; it came from left field, though it was mildly entertaining in a freaky sort of way. And the friendship between puppet and puppeteer seemed genuine. Novak understood his little buddy’s situation and said that he wasn’t going to make Shy Puppet talk if he didn’t want to, because most people would just make the puppet talk. Har har. He wears many hats. Novak does everything. He’s a writer, actor, and director, and he pretty much makes the rest of us want to work harder. The characters and phrases from The Office, now going on its eighth season, have embedded themselves into our pop junky culture. People who don’t even watch the show know about the show or have heard the inescapable “That’s what she said” uttered somewhere. Novak reveals that he enjoys wearing the writer hat the most. “Directing, I would compare it to going to a video arcade when you’re a kid and you don’t have quarters and the game is kind of playing itself, so you jump on the joystick and pretend you’re playing. That’s what directing is like on our show, in a way, because all the actors are so talented, they know what they are doing, and they have been doing it for years. Writing is the hardest and the most rewarding of those three things,” he said.
…but none with his winter coat. Novak entered onto the stage in a coat and gloves and poked fun at the crazy Buffalo weather right off the bat. He should know that Buffalo is on Mother Nature’s crap list…Every year. He neglected to follow every mother’s good advice that night, though, and didn’t cover his neck and ears.
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GENERATION April 12, 2011
ville By Ally Balcerzak By the time you read this we’ll already know if the Sabres are in the playoffs for sure. Now, I could continue writing as if they definitely are, but I’ve grown up in Buffalo, so I learned at a young age to never make assumptions when it comes to Buffalo sports teams. No goal of ’99 anyone? Anyway, as excited I am for even the possibility of being in the playoffs this season, I don’t want to talk about the team. Welcome to Pegulaville. Since taking over as the official owner on February 18th, Pegula has continued to make good on his promises to overhaul the franchise and do what he can to help the team win. While the Sabres were gone on a seven road game stretch, Pegula had their locker room re done. It may not seem like anything major, but anyone who has played sports know, it’s nice to come off the field/ice/turf to a clean and well-stocked locker room. The day Pegula took over will go down in Sabres history. He was joined on the ice by the French Connection, (defensemen from the 70s, just in case you’ve been living under a rock), and it was obvious that he really was willing to do anything to help the Sabres win. But it’s not just the team that Pegula seems to be spoiling, it is also the fans. For the last home game of the season on April 8th, the new owner had a few tricks up his sleeve. Pegula brought back fan appreciation night, something Golisano did away years ago as part of his business plan. For the final game, fans were treated to free rally towels to waive in the air, as well as the chance to be in the arena with numerous Sabres alumni. For the final home game Pegula invited every single Sabre alum from the past 40 years to the game. But he didn’t stop there. He then decided to plan a red carpet pre-game Party in the Plaza, where the alums showed up in cars from the era they were Sabres. Pretty awesome huh? I thought so. But the fun didn’t stop there. As a special thank you to the season ticket holders, the jersey’s off the current team’s backs were given out by random drawing. Of course, this was after the on-ice presentation of MVP, Rookie of the Year, and Hardest Working Player. Did I mention Pegula also created a new award called “7th Man,” where the fans get to pick the fan of the year? Well now you know. As a lifelong Buffalo sports fan, I’m used to being let down in the final moments of the season, (except for the Bandits, they always bring it). But with Pegula at the reigns, we just might see the Stanley Cup in Buffalo soon. Like I said at the start of this, by the time we were in production, no one knew if we were definitely in the playoffs, so I couldn’t guess if we had a shot at the cup this season. Even if we don’t, no one can really blame Pegula, he took over at the end of February when the season was more than half over, the damage was already done. If we keep supporting him next season I’m sure we’ll be playoff contenders. And if we happen to be in the playoffs this season, well, Pegula is a miracle worker.
Hit or BS
By Steve Neilans
The next Captain Sully of our generation. Maloney is the pilot who had to emergency land a single-engine aircraft on a beach to prevent himself and 3 other passengers from dying. That would be pretty cool by itself, but he decided to joke about it the whole way he was falling from the sky. He asked flight control if “he was all up in [their] grill” and joked about another person’s name. He pissed quite a lot of people off by doing that, and that made me laugh, so he gets to have his name here. It’s all downhill from here once you’ve appeared on this distinguished list.
Coming soon to supermarket aisle near you: ‘Off’ scented condoms. A U.S. biologist, Brian Foy, recently became the first person to ever receive an STD from a mosquito. Some people are attributing this to the fact that he was bitten by a ton of different mosquitos on a recent trip to Africa, and others are calling him a phony who’s trying to put the blame on insects. Is there a Rule 34 on this?
Dungeons and Dragons AND Nerf Gun battles? Anime and Magic the Gathering? Win, epic win. Nerdy people are more fun to hang out with than any other subset of UB. For example, I’ll stand to watch a dance group in the Flag Room for about 5 seconds, but I’ll stand to watch the Smash Bros. Club try to pull off a Wombo Combo for hours. +50 Stamina for you.
Aidan Elliott is an 8-year-old student at Glennon Heights Elementary in Colorado. One day, he decided it would be fun to throw a TV and chairs, and then try to bash through a door where his teacher was hiding other students from him. The cops showed up and maced the little brat. I’m not down with police brutality, but this is one of those times where it’s kind of cool. If nobody in his family wants to smack the kid, the police will gladly mace a bitch.
Ryan Miller who? When Ryan Miller went down and Jhonas Enroth had to step up during the most crucial part of the Sabres playoff run, he did. After a week of solid performances, people around Buffalo are starting to think Miller might be expendable if someone were to offer a crazy deal. Is this Doug Flutie and Rob Johnson all over again?
Metro, a tabloid based in London, will have a new editor on May 17th (albeit for 1 day), Lady Gaga. Gaga will take over as the newspaper editor, and successfully bring down the already-dying newspaper business as she does. Like I’ve said before, I won’t hate on a person for doing what they want to do, but being a pop star shouldn’t qualify you to be an editor. Metro will gain some popularity for doing this for a bit, but in the end they’re going to look like a joke.
Time for me to willingly be a puppet of SA. Spring Gala is probably the best way you can spend $30 in your last month at UB. Food, dancing, and most importantly, open bar. I’ve heard that the last Winter Gala had some pretty horrible drinks, so we can all hope SA decided to pony up and put some of that money into this one. Regardless, it’s a really fun time and if you go to UB you should at least try it out once. Just think “Prom with alcohol” and you’re on the right track.
BS>>Senioritis Words to live by: F*ck it.
ubgeneration.com | 15
To Grow In Concrete By Steve Neilans
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Bob Cook had started gardening on the corner of Hampshire Street near La Nova when gunshots began to ring over the morning sky. Cook has unwillingly grown accustomed to the disturbing reality of hearing gunshots in his neighborhood, and knows that they can only mean one of two things; someone is being stupid, or someone is getting killed. When a group of young men sprinted across the sidewalk next to him, Cook could only hope they weren’t running in his direction. Nothing happened. Cook moved to the next plot of land on 19th Street, where he was helping mow another community garden. While gardening, he noticed an SUV in a nearby parking lot with a bullet hole directly in the driver’s side window. “The windows [were] shot out of the sucker,” Cook recalled. Bob paused for a moment, and then walked up to a cop who was questioning residents about the earlier shooting to inform him that “there might be something they want to see.” Bob is an urban farmer with People United for Sustainable Housing (PUSH). PUSH is an organization on Buffalo’s West Side that strives to create affordable housing solutions for local residents. His landscaping job earns him just enough money to have the things he needs, which means everything to him. He is part of a growing urban gardening initiative in Buffalo, but he’s finding out that growing a community is harder than just choosing the right fertilizer. Urban gardening is the process of creating gardens out of vacant, or unused, land in heavily populated areas. It’s a healthy, and cost-effective, alternative to relying on the processed and overpriced food found
in grocery stores according to Cook. It also gives a purpose for vacant lots that might be neglected for years. The urban farming initiative in Buffalo began about 10 years ago with many programs, like PUSH or Massachusetts Avenue Project (MAP), being created since. Cook recalled a couple on the East Side that wanted to start a farm on plot of land, and was told by the city they couldn’t do that because of zoning issues. Cook firmly believes that the people on the East Side are more desperate for urban gardening programs than anyone else, and there should be more focus placed in those areas. “I think that’s when the real emphasis on urban farming sort of took hold, because before that it hadn’t really been in the news that much.” Cook said. Cook wants this to catch on in Buffalo. He walks a couple blocks to the PUSH office every day (he got rid of his car years ago to lower his carbon footprint), throws his gardening equipment in the company truck, and helps with everything from obtaining plots of land to creating plots of lands that are conducive for a garden. With over 40 plots of lands to maintain, and five more expected to be created in the upcoming year, Bob treats his gardens with the same kind of care that many of his friends have given him since he moved here. Without their care and support, Cook might not alive today. Just over a decade ago, Cook’s wife left him for another man. He was devastated. “I wanted to die,” he said with firm stare. However, his friendships with people in the community, along with people at his church, kept him from losing control completely. “I’d be in my lowest, and I’d be sitting
GENERATION April 12, 2011
there with a knife in my hand ready to cut my wrist and I’d have to say ‘Okay, if you do this you’re going to have to answer those people. They’re going to be pissed off at you; they’re going to be really pissed off at you. [They’ll say] What are we going to do
ground for drug trade. Crack cocaine is on the West Side, and Cook is used to removing the blue plastic bags that carry it from his gardens. Cook never believed transforming a community would be easy, but there are
now Bob? What are we going to do for our inspiration?’” Cook said. “They saved my life.” His friends let him know he had value and purpose when he needed it most, and Cook believes that there is value and purpose in rejuvenating his community. He knows there will be hiccups along the way, but there’s hope. In Cook’s eyes, “owning things” is a concept he understands, but doesn’t like. He pointed to the fact that humans have lived millions of years by going to where the food is, and it’s only now that humans “own” things. Community gardens are a place where everyone is free to plant whatever they want and nobody owns anything. PUSH doesn’t make any money off of the gardens it creates, and residents can come and go whenever they please. Not everyone is as noble as Cook on the streets of the West Side. Community gardens are frequently littered by apathetic residents, stolen from, or used as a dealing
signs of hope that gardening in Buffalo is starting to catch on. Urban gardens in Buffalo have an opportunity here that doesn’t always exist in larger cities according to Erin Sharkey, creative director of MAP. She estimated there are somewhere close to 650 acres of vacant land in Buffalo, and much of it could be converted into land for gardening. “That could be land that is dirty; attractive for garbage, or bad activity; or it can be a place where communities gather around. It provides community spaces or food… for neighborhoods. You definitely could see [vacant spaces] as an asset. In a city like New York City they’re fighting over tiny little lots. It’s not the same here,” Sharkey said. Creating a garden in the city is different from creating one in rural Western New York. Each employ the same crop rotating techniques and use plants native to the area, but that’s where the similarities end. Gardens in the country aren’t typically
shared by a community, aren’t created on land with foundation in the soil, and don’t typically have the sound of gunshots in the background according to Cook. In most cases, the plots of land are bought through the city or through an auction. Once the land is obtained, it’s up to people like Cook to create a healthy garden. Often, toxins are found in the soil and need to be drawn out. One technique Cook uses to draw chemicals is planting sunflowers. The chemicals are absorbed by the seeds, and after a couple of seasons with the sunflowers, the toxins are gone. In Buffalo, some gardens can be 100-foot-long with buildings, green spaces, and community gardens while others only have a couple beds. In the community gardens, each person is given their own plot of soil where they can plant whatever they want. There are many community owned plots, and there’s even one ran by Public School 30. As for another advantage, urban gardening also makes sense in terms of limiting reliance on fuel and oil. When gardens are created within the city, there isn’t a need to ship food from California (which also keeps the wealth of WNY in WNY, the advocates say). The carbon footprint and gas receipt are being simultaneously lowered at the same time. “Dependence on oil as a means for life-
style is unsustainable. The oil will run out. It’s used for so many other things besides just fuel that it’s gonna be one of these things [you] fight wars over, which we’re doing anyways. So stop using it. We need food to survive; we don’t need oil to survive. What we need is hard work and food,” Cook said. To save even more money, PUSH have begun creating “starter gardens” that will provide all other gardens with seeds and food. They’ve begun to reduce the amount of seeds they have to buy, and Cook believes the program could be completely self-sustainable in the future. When the day is finished for Bob, you can probably find him in his kitchen or reading a new book. He takes comfort in the fact that he’s 58 and in good shape from gardening. He hopes for the day that the bad seeds in his neighborhood are weeded out, and something truly positive can happen for the community that got him through his hardest times. “I’ve had too many jobs where I’ve been inside… and I’ll tell you, it gives you a bad attitude,” Cook said. “After a while it’s just like ‘Well, what the hell are we doing this for?’. It slowly kills you. Well, life does that anyway but you know what? Life is more enjoyable, as you’re dying, if you’re outside. I love it outside, that’s the best part.”
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The Panda Bear By Jeff Pelzek Ben often stared out over the four-shades-of-blue horizon, where the white Catalina sails and the blinding reflection off the seawater would hypnotize him, while the passing thoughts that he normally listened to melted into a meditative om, draining themelves of substance and flow. Then he would turn back around to his daytime customers, sauntering into the shady part of his boardwalk games kiosk, greeting the feminine silhouettes as his eyes re-adjusted to the dimmer light. He would reach for his glass bottle, in order to borrow its sweat to better grip and count the wad of single dollar bills that passed in and out of his salty hands. He would check his watch twice a minute, just hoping for the day’s end, praying for his emancipation from the heat. And the days would turn into evenings in the Northeastern beach town, as the tourists, seasonal seabirds of varying wealth and swagger, would mill about on the hardwood planks of the boardwalk, which creaked and shifted and held the sun’s heat underfoot long after sunset. Ben walked home each night, at the nine p.m. summer dusk, along the white-sandlined curbs, passing the salt covered cars and open front porch doors, out of which leaked the sounds of indoor life and cable television. And out of the monotony swam into view a young girl, a stunning blue jay in the dull flock. For days Ben knew her as “that pretty girl” in his internal name cache, and through mutual friends, he found that she was called Dana. She was exhilaratingly exotic and unclear, like the romantic twangy dash of Portuguese to the untrained ear. Between them hummed an inexplicable vibration, a feral breeze from the South of nowhere. He pined for her acquaintance, and romanticized her outward charm as it defied the conventional model of allure. When she repeated his name back to him at the bar it was like the sound of a Mozart oboe, singing to an unappreciated indie song that strummed his pain in a song of
words without tangible lyric; and it felt like he was standing in the one spot in the world where lightning double struck, and the thunder was audible for miles. “How about we paint this town with red wine?” she said to him, shaking a half-corked bottle, just showering in his love-laden beam. And he went for it without thinking, thirstily drinking from the bottomless well of her gin and tonic kiss. And she answered his primal call, reciprocating that romance and spinning in a slowing, crimsoning world of fast black and white. And in the middle of that conversation, they were immediately popular in the crowded rooms of each other’s hearts, as all of their amours passés, star-crossed mistakes, one night stands and first times stood and applauded them in the spotlight of the moment. When the blur sharpened, they were tangled up, naked in the firelight, at the high water mark of the beach, loving in the rapturous daze. Their bodies molded flush together, they stayed awake and watched dawn burn its dull shine over the water and through the hazy ocean air. And so they found themselves together, so quickly hand-in-hand that it seemed absurd to the jealous romantics and cynical realists who stood by to scrutinize their easy love. They would walk the beachside promenade together, srutting with the confidence of young and lithely honeymooners, looking past the outdoor brunchers and sexual distractions in total absorption of each other. It was pure madness, a hedonistic sin for which they owed no apology. It was an easy flow of words, a friendly game of beckoning, a catchy song with perfect timing. She would run ahead of him, and throw her head back laughing, her dark hair tumbling over her glowing face. And he would catch her around the waist, swinging her around and gently plopping her in the sand; and she would turn around and kiss him hard, like a brown-eyed lionness, grabbing hungrily at her share of the kill. And as if the sky was a limit too strict, they passed the chemicals between their fiending souls, dive bombing through the thick nimbus clouds of burning opiate, their minds buoyant and joy riding the poison through the highest cosmos. They would crash land into the sheets at night, burning another drug to the sound of a guitar on the old vinyl player. He touched her where she liked it, she returned his favors, and drowsily they lay each night to the white noise of needle on played-out vinyl, too post-coital to get up and save the dying machine. In company, she slouched in her Bob Marley tee shirt
ent predetermination. And then one evening stood out from the others. It was a strange time in the short rhyme of Ben and Dana, as lethal as a gun but still number one with a bullet: Their legs lay bare on top of the sheets, her left and his right linked at the knees; her breath cooled his chest, and the weight of her head felt smart on top of his cantering heartbeat. Out the open window someone played Seals and Crofts, as the breeze blew through the white curtains, which shone out of the gray in the last moments of dusk. All at once he was inspired to say something. “Imagine all the baby steps we took to get us right here,” he said, blowing the words like smoke from his lungs. “Like, think about everything that brought you to this point; if something were only slightly different we might not even know eachother.” She blank-stared at the possibilities as if it were a crystal ball, replaying all the mistakes and opportunities that she had forced into the rearview mirror of her life. And then her eyes slowly froze over in a pensive reverie. “The only reason I’m here right now, is that around 23 years ago my father raped my mom,” she said into his chest. “I wouldn’t be here if my father was a respectable man.” And he couldn’t utter a word. He helplessly grabbed at everything he could say, but he felt gravity pull the blood down his spine as each verbal foothold turned to sand under his weight. He was absolutely muted at the horror of the scenes his imagination immediately engineered in the privacy of his mind. He was happy, having earned her trust and thus gaining this honest scope into her secret life, but he was ashamed at his selfishness, as he greedily thanked goodness for that miraculous terror, holding tight in his bed the fruits of such a heinous crime. “My mom tried so hard to love me,” she said, now choking on the words, croaking as though she had been crying for hours. “But each year I grew to look more like him. “She said it was unbearable to look at photos of the two of us,” she said. “When I grew taller than her she said it was like seeing him with his arm around her at all our favorite places.” The music had stopped, and the candle flickered in the dark drafty room that they lay in, dancing silently as the smoke dervished out of its tip. “For so many years I wanted to kill him,” she said with more deliverance. “I thought I could look in all the places I told myself he might be and see into his bloodthirsty eyes like a mirror.” But she was peaceful like her mother, and that afflicting virtue thrusted vengeance into the realm of hopeless impossibility. And a long ominous pause hung in the room, like the moments between lightning and thunder. It was a paralyzing bump in the night, a sick irony from which neither abed could avert their wide eyed contempt. “Sometimes I wish that I wasn’t around, so that maybe she could be at peace with it,” she whispered, still staring at nothing. “I wish that people would just stop being such assholes to each other.” It was the last thing of value that one could say, and he held her closer. “I would kill him for you,” he tried. And she slept smiling in his arms. The next week they found Dana in the tub. She had pushed off from reality with an extreme dose of the gear, and had laid down in the warm bath water to die alone in a fit of sensory pleasure, kicking and writhing as that last chemical orgasm beat the life out of her.
“They would crash land into the sheets at night, burning another drug to the sound of a guitar on the old vinyl player.”
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on the floor, her little nipples poking at the cotton as she entertained with her fearless humor. He kept an almost religious cool showing her off, throwing her around the dance floor as she wildly fucked him with her devilish eyes. And back home she scowled and breathed-in while the drug crackled in the glass pipe, grimaced after its long shaft and her tarnished lungs traded clairity, and then smiled as her skin prickled with sweat in the synthetic vertigo. The smoke curled up through her wet clumpy hair, leaking out of her nose and dancing before her blank eyes, and he joined her in the obscuring sensory rain, snowblind and tired as each bodily cell orgied in the camphorous flutter. They were renegades, happily independent from Fate or God, having found each other without prayer or appar-
GENERATION April 12, 2011
But when they opened the door to that quiet room, the only witness to that lethal tryst, the candles she had lit had burned down and dripped red on the white edges of the porcelain tub, and the womblike water had turned cold. Her skin looked like the skin underneath a band-aid, and it covered her whole limp body like a blanket of ugliness – like a white wedding dress that had turned a sickening gray with age and wear. And Ben fell hard, never quite hitting a bottom. To verbally illustrate the immediate sadness would do no justice to its pain, and the words would fail to be more than just words. For days he screamed in inarticulate rage, howled in loud misery, and brooded in quiet suicidal contemplation. When he came to it was almost impossible for him to turn his back on the unchangeable past. And when he replayed that week between their bed and the bath, he tried to convince himself that she had not given him signs of her plan, that he had not seen any bags packed or loose ends tied. All he truly wanted was to wipe the blood and tears from his sweaty brow and to never look back, but the visions of Dana cruelly haunted him in the quiet nighttime as he dozed. He saw her eyes, a light hazel in the sun, a shiny onyx in the firelight, love-lazy and staring into his agony. And then she was sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, her thin frame supporting the lightweight of her body as she rocked it back and forth in a fit of laughter. And in nightmares he was sitting in the backseat of her car, and he could see her eyes in the rearview mirror, as her long hair whipped around in the gusts from the open window. He walked the town, and passed all the oases that they frequented on sunny days, and he saw and felt and smelled the little bits and pieces of her essence in the women outside, as they sat with one leg over the other, the sun in their eyes looking over at him. And he still hoped that she might be there one lucky day, as if he were watching a tragic film for the second time, wishing truth onto the tantalizing mirage of hope. He spent hours in his room, staring into a black and white rendering he had rushed of her, just a few days before… that day. They had sat at one of their favorite restaurants on the beach, around eight p.m., when the western sun paints the earth and sky a dim shade of tangerine. He was hard at work celebrating all the delicate curves of her face and body with the dull tip of a number two pencil. “Why do you think people try to keep panda bears alive?” she had asked, looking through him to her thoughts. “It’s not so much that they are over-hunted, they just won’t fuck.” “I think it’s probably because people hate seeing ends,” he said, lightly scribbling and looking from her to the paper-canvas. “Wouldn’t you try to save something that wouldn’t save itself?” She chewed on the question and twisted her lips at its curious taste. “No,” she said, not cruelly, but with conviction. “I don’t believe in that kind of selflessness.” He stopped and grinned at her, sliding the pencil down his thumb at rest. “I could never make something do what it didn’t want to,” she said. “I could never make something live if it wanted to die.” The conversation endured for a half hour, over which her image had materialized on the paper. And when he sat back to examine the finished product, he marveled at the lack of embellishment, the total absence of liberty he usually took with his sketches. Dana was inches away from him at the table, and also staring up at him on the vanilla page, only smudged a little where his sweaty hand
had smeared the graphite. Tears ran down his face, staring at the drawing, and he flipped through to the latter-day sketches. They were of other women, and of scenes of war and crime. He had scribbled letters to Hell and wrote poems for his mother; and the last sketch in his drawing book from that summer was a pair of Converse sneakers, dangling from their laces on a power line. August came with its shorter days and longer nights. Ben told each afternoon bartender about her, articulating each syllable of this story without subtraction, hoping that maybe one might make him a drink that tasted like those nights, hoping that he might one day find that sour sweet happiness, call that loving flavor “Dana,” and drink it all the time. He sat posted at the tiki bars, chomping at the alcohol through a bamboo shoot. He dug hopelessly for permanent peace at the bottom of a bottle, frantic for that perfect blend of quinine and juniper, like that first kiss that frolicked beyond his reach in the former days. And as he sat in the shade of the bar, the town bustled, and the world continued to grind on its axis without Dana and Ben. He was alive, and she was free: had it ever helped anyone to ask why? At around happy hour each day it became a little clearer to him. They were just a transient couple that came out of
nowhere and vanished without a trace. His stray heart was the lonely result of having once lived in a place called Dana. But that town had dried up and moved out, like a rust belt city that finally said goodbye to its strongest roots. His face hardened, and he came to know the truth: that the little episodes which made up their shared life together had sauntered by, and were now nothing but quotable reruns in his biased memory. Dana was a crack in a book’s spine, the one bitter page that took chapters of reading to put behind, that haunting passage to which one cannot help but turn until the volume is done. Ben sat there. Reading. And the sunny days wore on in their humid buzzy drone.
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LITERARY Spring and Other Clichés By: S.S. Spring. April. A year. She lay on her stomach and stared absently out the window. Reminiscing. The end of school, the exams, the excitement, the acceptances and the decisions to be made. The rejection. Exactly a year. What did spring mean without hope? Mournful poetry didn’t quite cut it either. Some more brooding. It hurt- it shouldn’t, but it didto hear her friends talk about acceptances to the colleges they’d always dreamt of. Their enthusiasm wholly failed to be infectious as she stumbled about trying to pack her suitcases, lay in bed passing the miserable summer months, dreading going to college come fall. Wincing every time a word on the page sounded like a certain college’s name. Recovering from the college she’d fallen utterly and
absolutely in love with having said no. Almost the end of freshman year. The last vestiges of snow would soon melt. Spring- with its ridiculous greenness, foppish flowers and general air of newness- was making a return. And this time all the clichés and associations of spring rang reassuringly true. She could hear her friends squabbling over cards down the hall, heard her name being called. There were plans for the night- dinner and movies and, perhaps, homework. She knew how things would unfold- they’d sigh over the actors, tear apart the plot, veer towards melancholy diatribes on life and then wander into beds around four in the morningthere were classes the next day. Walking to class- when the snow wasn’t pelting down on you, or the wind wasn’t doing
Why I love the Word “Fuck” By: Allison Ruiz It’s only four letters, None of those silent ones either. Plus it’s only one syllable, It gets right to the point. There are so many uses for it. You can express frustration, “FUCK!” or “Fucking A!” You can express pain, “Fuck that hurt!” or “Fuck, ow, fuck!” It can even be used when surprised, “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” or “Oh fuck!” It can also be made dirty, “Fuck me.” or “Want to fuck?” How many other words are as versatile as the word fuck? Fuck if I know. 20 | ubgeneration.com
its best to dissuade you- was actually nice if you loved your classes- and god, did she love some of hers. Watching Shakespeare taken apart as the icy surface of the lake melted into a cheerful blue and knowing that infinite series really made no sense at all. The flurry of putting together the newspaper every fortnight. And then there was the library, which had pretty much every book she wanted to read- and did. She chuckled- being called a nerd was something she’d always taken as a compliment. How quickly time had flown. Another cliché. But spring was the season for them. She knew that this month would pass by, and then summer. And winter again and a deluge of snow and coats and cold. But after that there’d be spring. And for the next
three years here, she could count on looking outside sometime in March and clamoring for the snow to melt faster, for the trees to come alive and the overcoats to be discarded. “Coming!” she yelled out to no one in particular. When really she wasn’t going anywhere at all. For it felt right- being here. And she didn’t know what she would do when she went away from it all for the summer. Now, however, it was spring.
History of the Word “The” By: Cassie Rivais Once upon a time There was a lonely word Of two little letters Just ‘s’ and ‘e’ But the ‘e’ needed someone else So it soon became ‘þe’ Then some confusion arose Thanks to Mr. William Caxton That ‘þ’ became ‘y’ This gender change confused poor ‘e’ But ‘e’ needed someone in front Sometime around the 15th century ‘y’ wanted more change ‘y’ was moved by French and Latin ‘y’ left to be its own vowel Leaving ‘e’ to a life with ‘th’ ‘th’ was a voiceless fellow But loyal to the end So now it’s been ‘the’ Now til then GENERATION April 12, 2011
LITERARY Unnamed Poem Based on Dream Notes By: Carlton Brock
Spring By: Mark Slaughter A sense of warmth is tapping at the door; And hope, a feeling out from distant lore – Or so it seems – clears the deep refrain! Emerging youth: a dormant lea awakes. The raging colour, singing loud, partakes In annual birth – spring is born again! A zest anew for nascent life Begins in floral train: Carriage one: a snowdrop thrill; Carriage two: the crocus; Number three, a daffodil – dancing, Drawing focus – as she would, Attention seeker! How I love our spring: The bold and sleeker feel I get, An inner glow, a ring! I’ve paid the winter’s chilly debt, so Now upon the wing! Directions: Find the underlined words from the poem in the word search. Challenge: Use the underlined words to create your own poem and e-mail it to email@example.com for publication!
Gather round in a circle Watching amongst ye demons that fell Sincerity a lie in this group of bats Demons, Lawyers, Politicians, Murderers and Raps Day in Day Out People in continuous bouts Some rise above and others sink and shout Knowing you’d burn forever you chose to melt it out But I’m innocent you’ll plea Lies once again What about that time you stole from your friends “That was just me trying to make some ends” Shoulda got a job because to hell you’ve been sent “Come on Devil dev, can’t we just get bent” You didn’t even drink your life is spent “But hell is the place where all the murderers went” And thieves are no better than them “So I broke what three of your commandments” And about a half a dozen laws Salvation ain’t coming God’s not what you saw “What if I sell my soul, doesn’t that have worth?” It would my little minion, if you were still on Earth “Will this hurt” “What if I went back and started saying my prayers” You’d still be down here for last years love affair “Jesus fucking Christ” Now you’re sounding just right Grow some horns on your head And throw your heart outta sight “So I don’t have a choice, I’m just bound by my history” Yup, now go down to the people that joined in on Earth’s misery.
Ranting for the Sake of Ranting By: Claire Burgess It is I am not the answer Bring the fire under your questions Ask my mother everybody knows C’est la vie it means life sucks Oh why-o why-o don’t you Answer my phone calls calling A whore is a whore is a whore Is a woman with no name-tag Just tell her what their hats mean She’s curious tell her carpe diem It means do shit during the day That way you can feel less lonely At night
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Photos courtesy of Within Windows
Get Ready for Windows 8
By Seon McDonald
“What, Already?” is about the right reaction upon hearing that Microsoft is gearing up to release the next version of their operating system. Rest assured though it is not slated to hit retail shelves until at least December 2012, but behind the scenes the balls are rolling in Redmond as Microsoft prepares to take its “riskiest” bet yet in terms of selling Windows as a tablet experience.
What’s New? The next version of Windows will support ARM Processors This is kind of a big deal because Windows 7 which currently runs on the x86 architecture supported by Intel and AMD hasn’t been a feasible choice as a lightweight OS suited for tablets. The Windows tablet is simply unable to meet acceptable battery life levels suitable for small form factor devices… something the lower power consuming ARM processor could rectify. While coding an OS for a new CPU architecture is a remarkable technological feat in itself, Microsoft literally has no choice as OEM manufacturers are demanding Windows be adapted for tablets, otherwise they will seek elsewhere (as evidenced by the slew of Android tablets hitting the scenes). Microsoft will also support System-on-a-chip (SoC) Architectures from Intel and AMD as well that provides some nice benefits are stated in their press release: “SoC architectures consolidate the major components of a computing device onto a 22 | ubgeneration.com
single package of silicon. This consolidation enables smaller, thinner devices while reducing the amount of power required for the device, increasing battery life and making possible always-on and alwaysconnected functionality.”
Windows 8 will feature a new immersive user experience codenamed “Mosh” The biggest reason why Windows Tablets never caught on is without a doubt the Graphical User Interface. Windows is designed chiefly to be navigated using a mouse rather than touch and though Windows 7 made some decent strides in multitouch capabilities, it is quite disheartening to use applications that aren’t suited for touch input. The solution Microsoft is working on involves forking Windows 8 with two shells, the desktop interface and one that’s activated in “tablet mode” that features the new Metro User Interface prominent in the Windows Phone 7 devices with live tiles that show information, beautiful typography and - most importantly - completely adapted for finger input. In Internet Explorer 9 for instance, the address bar is at the bottom for easy touch input and multiple open tabs are presented as “tiles” which you can swipe through and tap to delete or access. The interesting thing about the Metro UI is that it has been slowly evolving the windows design starting with Windows Media Center, which is already fully adaptable for touch input, Windows Live Messenger and the Zune desktop player. Focus is placed on the content and all the chrome and application frills are stripped away. Typography is generously used instead of icons and the
design flows in a manner that’s intuitive to the user. However that’s not the only interface change the software giant is mulling. When Microsoft introduced the ribbon UI in Office 2007 that replaced the drop down menus most people were comfortable with, many were upset. Fast Forward to Office 2010, the ribbon is now accepted as a better user friendly way to quickly access most used tools instead of digging through menus and tool bars. The ribbon UI has been incorporated in Windows WordPad, Photos, and Writer application. It now looks like Microsoft is looking into adding this ribbon throughout the Windows shell to produce a more cohesive experience. For instance, a leaked screen shot shows the ribbon is being tested in Windows Explorer with options to do basic edits to photos without launching an editor, upload and share quickly and tagging and organization features.
crash and send a user to the verge of lunacy, but “Blue Screen of Death” jokes aside, Windows 7 has been very stable and Windows 8 will introduce some new features aimed at giving users a peace of mind. History Vault will allow users to automatically backup files and data with the ability to restore to a specific time or date on the system. Much like Apple’s own Time Machine, users can retrieve previous versions of files that have been edited or deleted using a new Graphical User Interface. Most interesting though is the System Reset option which in the case of irrevocable damage to the OS, Windows will be able to revert to factory settings without having to reinstall from scratch. The whole ordeal can take mere minutes and will essential perform a quick format of the install partition and reinstating a fresh copy of Windows.
Windows Live services will be built into Windows 8
Microsoft is currently in litigation against Apple over the term ‘App Store”. They filed a motion opposing Apple’s hold on the trademark on the grounds that it’s generic and competitors need to use it to effectively describe their services. Either way, Windows 8 will feature a built in applications store where users can easily download apps for use on their computer. Apparently the apps will be geared towards tablet users, being built using the Silverlight framework allowing developers to code cross platform apps for desktop, phone and tablet with 90 percent code reuse.
Windows Live services will be a prominent option giving users the ability to sign in automatically and access messaging, contacts and interact with live services natively. Skydrive comes built in with 25GB of free online storage that allows for photos and document backup to a user’s live account in the cloud and synced across multiple computers and or windows phone devices. This can be espicially useful for tablet devices that when logged on your Windows Live ID, your files, contacts and mails are immediately accessible. The logon screen has been revamped as well featuring huge typgrahic text displaying the date and upcoming calendar events, no doubt aimed at Tablets.
Useful new features: History Vault, System reset, Fast hibernate Windows is notorious for its ability to
Windows 8 will have an App Store
Microsoft hasn’t publicly commented on the leaked Windows 8 details other than saying they’re not ready to share any details while reminding us that Windows 7 is still in fact selling like hot cakes. Nonetheless, it is gratifying knowing that Microsoft is working on improving their operating system because the competition is ruthless and there are without a doubt other viable options that get the job down without the frustrations of using a PC. GENERATION April 12, 2011
Album Review: By Seon McDonald Certified pop princess and meal ticket for tabloid publications is back with a disc that ultimately sticks to the formula – catchy pop fluff that makes you dance whether you like it or not. Britney Spears, the twice divorced mother of 2 boys, own personal turmoil seems to have abated of late. There are no missing underwear shots or shaved heads anymore, rather she seems to be on her game lately and it is positively reflected in this saucy mix of pop songs. Pop the CD in and it immediately takes you on a wild ride of sweaty dance beats and sassy lyrics that seal the alluring sex appeal that keep Britney Spears fans wanting more. “Till the World Ends” the first and best track on the album is a result of an unlikely collaboration with Ke$ha and it works fusing Ke$ha’s penchant for nonsensical hooks with Britney’s naughty intonations. The pace keeps up, on the dance floor trilling “Hold it Against Me” where she moans “If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me”. On Femme Fatale Britney slips into a negligee of seductiveness in “Seal it with a Kiss” she sings “Say you’re just a friend, I’m a little liar- when we play pretend, party is on fire -cuz i like it like that”. She’s naughtily suggestive on “Beautiful (Drop Dead)” and downright lascivious on “Big Fat Bass” featuring Will.i.am “The bass is
getting bigger - I can be the treble baby you can be my bass” – The airy lyrics mesh succinctly with the digitally synthesized electro beats and wonky sounds expected from a Will.i.am production. Britney’s vocals are undeniably morphed and auto-tuned to a fake silkiness that varies from track to track. Luckily the album is devoid of ballads or sentimental reflections that might require Spears to flex a vocal muscle or two. Instead she plays along nicely with the beats from the speaker-vibrating “I Wanna Roll” or playing the coy lover who doesn’t want to go too far in “Trouble For Me”. In “Trip to Your Heart” we’re reminded Britney was once a teen sensation in an era where teenage girls shedding their image of virginity sent shockwaves across the media. Britney endured the hounds of paparazzi and even accusations of bad parenting only to channel it into a hot bed of musical steaminess. Truth be told, there isn’t much to gleam in terms of lyrics from this production. Did Britney grow and mature into a responsible adult? Maybe. Is it evident here? The short answer is no, if you’re looking for deep thought provoking lyrics, skip this entirely. The album doesn’t quite match the gustiness of the “Toxic” and “Slave 4 U” era, but by today’s standards it’s a hit. At this point Britney has little to prove, her fans will follow her regardless, but at least they’re getting a good dance out of it.
Childish Gambino BITCH,
Tiesto & Mark Knight
Steve Aoki Laidback Luke ft. Lil Jon
Matt and Kim
RE FRESH David Guetta, Nicki Minaj, Flo-Rida
GIRLS AT? House/Dance/Hip-Hop
Britney Spears: “Femme Fatale”
LMFAO PARTY ROCK
ANTHEM +(NAXX Remix)
Elec. Hop/Dutch House
COMING FROM R&B
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