Refuse to be Silenced

How To Parent Well After The Loss Of A Spouse

Ibironke Olubamise

No one prays to lose his/her spouse or to be a widow/ widower; it is not a good experience… for obvious reasons.

However, I can categorically say that

I am enjoying God in a dimension that I could never have if my spouse was still around. Of course, I had it rough at the beginning, giving in to the devil’s tricks and gimmicks but

I soon discovered that my Father’s word is true and He is faithful and I am precious in His sight, no matter the condition. However, this is a story for another day- I am supposed to talk about the dimension of parenting after the loss of a spouse and I pray someone is blessed by this.

I must say that my husband laid a solid foundation for us spiritually and physically, and he did so with haste. I usually wandered if he knew he wasn’t going to be with us here for long. But for his absence to still make a complete and loving family fellowship that we used to have, is proof that God really has our back and I can’t ask for more.

Talking about challenges after his demise, while myself and my daughter cried our hearts out, my son shed no tear and we took him for acting strong. But when I started seeing some negative behaviors, it dawned on me that he had bottled up his emotions which started manifesting in strange ways. Thank God we were able to overcome through prayers and support of brethren. Afterwards the children better appreciated the fact that we have “no other God but Him”.

I have learned that as a Christian, it’s best to learn the character side of Christianity first before the charisma side. This helped us to stabilize not too long after my husband’s demise.

In leading by example, my son and I have now become so similar spiritually (1Tim 5:4), and beyond that, my son became a very good example for emulation to other children and parents. He was and still is immersed in God’s work and all I try to do is to ensure he checks his motive so he doesn’t deviate. His sister is full of wisdom and has such an analytical mind that I must always be ready for real questions during bible study times.

Communication is very important; I created time for spiritual, emotional and financial discussions. As much as we don’t love to discuss it, punishment

I have learned that as a Christian, it’s best to learn the character side of Christianity first before the charisma side.

is also an important part of raising children. I believe people should attach discomfort or reward to behaviors, so they understand the consequence of their actions. I also explore brethren’s support.

I realized the devil doesn’t care what your situation is. He delights in afflicting saints, as we see in John 10:10. So never take it for granted that you (and your children) cannot/will not be his target. This knowledge, in addition to standing your ground by the Word, delivers powerfully.

While this is not an extensive list, I do hope that these tips that have aided in my parenting of our children will bless you as well. Ultimately, our children are the Lord’s, and His wisdom and His guidance are the only guaranteed effective parenting tools. gw

3 Life Lessons Covid-19 Has Taught Me

We are currently going through one of the most challenging times in the history of the world due to the COVID-19 epidemic. Many are worried about their well-being, and the well being of loved ones, their jobs, and the economy in general. There are many reasons to be concerned but instead of going through this turbulent time with eyes shut. We decided to ask a few ladies their thoughts regarding any good that can be extracted from this trying time.

So we asked “what are three life lessons you have learnt from the lockdown? And hopefully you will ask yourself—“what can I learn”?

Here are their answers.

Ifeoluwa Olumekun, a fashion designer replied:

For me,the lockdown has been a blessing in disguise. Apart from the thousands of lives lost all over the world,the lockdown has made us appreciate the important things in life which we always take for granted...

1. FAMILY: Families are bonding again. 2. REST: We have been forced to take the much needed REST which we all desperately need. 3. LOVE,PEACE: For the first time in decades the world is a WAR free zone...we have become our brothers keeper..the whole world has united to fight the enemy which is COVID19. For Damilola Erinle, Promoter of DammGems, three life lessons that she has learnt during covid-19 isolation are that: 1. God is the greatest!! His ways are not the ways of man. He does as he pleases. 2. We must learn to show love and be kind to one another. Nations are at each other’s mercy seeking all forms of support to combat

COVID-19. 3. Health is wealth!! We should never take it for granted when

God blesses us with good health. For Flora Coker, Senior Pharmacist/ CEO Encapsulate Healthcare Solutions, lessons learnt in lockdown have been that: 1. We as a world have gone too far away from God; chasing our wants, which really did not add true value to our lives. 2. The best things in life are free:

Faith, Family and friends. 3. The joy of being able to spend quality time with my family and being able to teach them more about the things of God.

Lolade George, Business owner/Project Manager says that:

“Three life lessons I have learnt during the lockdown/ isolation season are”: 1. We all make plans but they can only come to fruition if God says so. We have no power over our lives in the way we have always thought. 2. Good health trumps material things. 3. Quality time with family can be experienced in the simple things you do together.

Taiwo Isijola, who works in International Relations has learnt during the lockdown/Isolation season that:

1. One moment can change the course of destiny.

2. We must live ready for coming for our Lord Jesus.

3. We must prioritize what is important in life.

Spirituality (Faith and relationship with God) is the most important investment in the season of crisis.

Monisola, a Substitute teacher/Caterer told us:

1. Everything that seems important is actually not. All is vanity.

2. God is sovereign; He can do and undo.

3. Our relationship with God is what guarantees sustenance. For Modupe Olufosoye, a Clinical Social Worker, some life lessons from this period are:

1. To always be prepared:

The lockdown came so suddenly , if not that I had just recently done our food / grocery shopping which we mostly do in bulk , it would have been very overwhelming trying to stock up because of the tension everywhere. I go out now only if it is very necessary.

2. On a more positive outlook the lockdown has given me more time to re-evaluate my spiritual, marital, financial and social state/goals. I’ve been able to restrategize and make adjustments where necessary.

3. The lockdown has taught me more than ever before to set my priorities right, most importantly to prepare for the coming of our Lord Jesus. I have to remain focused on things God has called me to do because in the end , fulfilling my purpose on earth and making heaven is all that matters.

COVID-19: Fast facts

Kehinde Elisha

Historical perspective

On February 3rd, 2020 the World Health Organization (WHO) officially named a new strain of coronavirus (COVID-19) which caused respiratory diseases in China (UN News). It is important to note that the ongoing crisis is not new. Diseases and illnesses have plagued humanity since the earliest days; unfortunately, we happen to be witnesses to this one. This history is traced back 1347 – 1351 when we had the Black Death as a result of Yersinia pestis bacteria from rats and fleas. We lost 200million people as a result. Other incidences that cost millions of lives are the New World Smallpox Outbreak of 1520 (56 million deaths), Great Plague of London 1665 ( 100,000 deaths), to the Spanish Flu outbreak of 1918 -1919 ( 40-50 million died from H1N1 virus/ Pigs), HIV /AIDS 1981 – present ( 25- 35 million have died from viruses that originated from Chimpanzees ), SARS, Ebola, and MERS preceded the COVID-19 with deaths of 770, 11,000 and 850 respectively.

About COVID-19

The world Health Organization ( WHO ) assigned the term Coronavirus( COVID-19 ) as the name of the disease and the virus itself is called Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus 2 ( SARS- CoV- 2). For more clarity, HIV is the virus that causes AIDS, while SARS- CoV-2 causes Coronavirus. The name was chosen because the virus is genetically related to the coronavirus that created the SARS outbreak in 2003 (WHO, 2020) .The name Corona originated from the word crown because under the microscope the virus looks like a crown. The virus’ incubation period is between 1 to 14 days.

According to the Center for Disease and Infection Control, the virus stays in the nasal passages before finally migrating to the lungs. In the lungs, it pairs up with a receptor site and begins to multiply through the RNA.

Some basic protective measures

Handwashing, maintaining a distance of up to 6 feet, maintaining good respiratory hygiene. In case of emergency , call your local emergency clinic.

QUESTION AND ANSWER SECTION Is there a cure?

Not at this time. Hydroxychloroquine has been promoted by some of the foreign leaders but this medication happens to have a significant side effect.

Do Disinfectants work?

Yes, disinfectants do work. Make sure you are using Ethanol or bleach-based wipes rather than benzalkonium chloride or hydrogen peroxide disinfectants.

Does it matter which hand soap or hand sanitizer I use for coronavirus?

According to the author, Birch (2020). She noted that a lot of cleaning and sanitizing agents are flying off the market, which includes hand soap, hand sanitizer, dish soap, and cleaning wipes. Since COVID – 19 is a virus, any soap will do, antibacterial soap does not present to have an advantage over other types of soap. There is no clear evidence that antibacterial soap works better or less than another soap. What we know so far is that hand washing for “at least 20 seconds” which creates a “mechanical disruption” is in fact very effective for viruses.

Should I wear a mask?