Edible Nostalgia Words | Kate Bertram
Without water we’d die. Fact. The same goes for food, rather obvious but bear with me here. Unless you’ve just wandered out of the desert bedraggled, insanely sunburnt, half-crazed and dehydrated you’re unlikely to truly relish the act of drinking a glass of water. It’s not something with the wow factor. Yes, it can be satisfying but I’ve never had a glass of water that brought back fond memories of home nor have I ever thought, ‘that’s just like Mum used to make’, I can’t recall an occasion where it left me wanting more despite being full. Food does all this with the added ability to comfort. Take that, water! We all have ‘nostalgia food’; flavours that makes us feel safe and secure, tastes which remind us of being tiny tots perched at our Grandma’s table wolfing down servings bigger than we were. When I was little I’d devour slice after slice of my Granny’s homemade bread and still clamour for more. Just the smell of baking bread never fails to make me feel like that annoying mini person jumping up and down impatiently waiting for the new loaf to be ready. The homemade burgers my mum made when I was little have never been matched, not even by her - probably because the burgers she made when I was little are all wrapped up in the cotton wool haze of childhood. If you don’t buy my whimsical explanation I have a scientific one up my sleeve too; as an infant you have taste buds not just on your tongue but on the roof and sides of your mouth and as you get older these taste buds disappear, meaning as a child you’re more sensitive to flavours than you are as an adult. That’s just the home made stuff though, what about the commercial food? What about Captain Birdseye and his fish fingers? I’m not saying that fish fingers are my idea of fine dining and after curiosity spurred me on to pinch one from a younger cousin recently (taking fish fingers from a baby - how low will I
BECAUSE QUALITY MATTERS
stoop?), I can honestly say that I have no desire to ever have them again. I think they require a greater number of taste buds than I possess. Ah but the Captain brought us another wonder - Alphabites. Chips that spell words. Genius. Though it does beg the question what kind of sadist would invent such a food stuff knowing that children will want to spell out their names and that their parents will yell at them for playing with their food. His other sick joke was chicken dinosaur shapes. Tell me how a child with a limited amount of self-restraint is supposed to resist the combined temptation of spelling potato lettered words and creating chicken-flavoured prehistoric battle scenes in one sitting. It’s just cruel. For those of us who managed to get away with food games the Captain was king. Heinz followed a close second, the food giant’s downfall was the hurdle they added to their spellable food. Tomato sauce. For those of us who persevered we were doomed to be filthy - not that it bothered us as laundry wasn’t exactly something we had to worry about back then. Next stop on the nostalgia train and I have to say I feel sorry for the children of today, because cereal isn’t as exciting as it once was. They’re missing out on something that made a new box of cereal a monumental occasion. The toy surprise! Of course if you had a sibling like me, there was always a squabble over who got the much coveted toy. The cereal with the best prize on offer became the best-tasting one, the one you had to have. The god of the cereal world is of course Kellogg’s who’ve come up with such classics as Honey Nut Loops, Frosties, Rice Crispies and Coco Pops. Coco Pops was briefly known as Choco Krispies until the public outcry forced Kellogg’s to hold a vote to decide if the cereal should revert back to its original name. 92% of those who voted said it should. The public had spoken and Coco Pops were returned to their former glory.
We’ve covered some of the meal time foods so the nostalgia train is now pulling into the junk food station. First up, Opal Fruits and I mean Opal Fruits not the ‘Starburst’ abomination that has usurped them. They swapped lemon in favour of purple and they changed the recipe. Why change a winning formula? Fortunately no public vote was held otherwise the fate of Opal Fruits may have been very different. The once glorious Opal Fruits featured on an ice cream birthday cake I had, they turned rock hard and the bone-jarring noise of cracking children’s teeth and Opal Fruits resounded off the walls. I wouldn’t be able to remember that birthday had it not been for those tooth-chippingly good Opal Fruits. These are not the only sweets to have fallen by the wayside, Fruit Salads seem to have vanished from all but those amazing old school sweetie shops that still up hold the importance of tradition and display them proudly in jars alongside other greats. My point is that everyone has a certain meal or snack they dub their favourite except, of course, for those bizarre members of our society who claim not to ‘like’ food. Weirdos. They’re usually the kind of people who subscribe to the Kate Moss motto, ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’. Yeah right, except maybe pie, oh and food in general. I digress. Perhaps some foods from our childhood, such as fish fingers and Opal Fruits/Starburst are best left alone. Otherwise I say indulge once in a while, buy yourself a Feast or Mini Milk (they only fall short of being as great as they were when we were kids because they no longer have jokes on the stick). As for the stuff like homecooked lasagne I urge you to interrogate your mothers and grandmothers until they relinquish their recipes to you or at least cook it for you! After all, no one will ever cook quite like mother.
59