MADE IN AUSTRALIA FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU SEP / OCT 2015
+ WHAT WENT WRONG WITH THE MARRIAGE BILL?
LIFE LOVE EQUALITY
RELATIONSHIPS WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE HONEYMOON?
THE TRUTH ABOUT PLANKING THE 10 MOST HANDSOME US CITIES
STUDIO 54 NOW WITH ADDED GAYNESS! HAYLEY TEAL DO YOU LOVE IT PRESERVING OUR HERITAGE WHAT’S NORMAL THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT GAYBY BABY THERE’S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO MAKE A FAMILY
> LOVE IS MOST DEFINITELY A VERB
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FUSE MAGAZINE MADE IN AUSTRALIA SEP / OCT 2015
02 Editor’s Rant 04 What’s On : Movies 07 What’s On : Events & Shows
EDITOR Alexander Thatcher ASSOCIATE EDITORS Linda Djumlija Samara Garrett CREATIVE DIRECTOR Christopher Powell CONTRIBUTORS Scott Malcolm Dwayne Lennox Rose Pappalardo Melisa Paz Julia O’Boyle Harley Dennett Cris Kennedy Anthony Lyons
19 FUSE FEATURES 19
New relationships are always exciting times in our lives. Days full of promise, it seems that nothing will ever go wrong — you’ll feel this way forever. But when it comes to rich and enduring relationships, it’s what happens after the honeymoon that really counts.
PHOTOGRAPHERS Doug Robinson Rose Pappalardo CONTACT FUSE 0412 309 992 firstname.lastname@example.org fusemagazine.com.au PO Box 844 Belconnen ACT 2616 PUBLISHER Published + designed by Lithium Innovation Pty Ltd lithium.net.au ISSN 1836-8387 All rights reserved. No part of the magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. The appearance, mention or likeness of any person or organisation in editorial or advertising in no way suggests sexual or political orientation. Photographs used to illustrate editorial do not depict the real lives, behaviour or sexuality of the models. Opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the FUSE publisher, editor or staff. Any health, fitness or dietary advice contained in this magazine is for informational purposes only. Consult your physician and a fitness/health professional before changing your diet, doing any exercise program, or taking any supplements or remedies of any kind. Submissions of text, photographs or any other material will be taken as consent to publish said material.
33 08 12 14 16 22
Round Up : News & Politics Op.Ed : Criminalising Homosexuality Health & Wellbeing : That Little Blue Pill Op.Ed : View From The Hill Couch Potato : Film & TV
We caught up with Hayley Teal who’s back in the limelight with her new EP Do You Love It. You may remember Hayley from X-Factor — when asked if she had a boyfriend back at home, she proudly said into the mic... girlfriend.
36 36 Ryan Phillippe is glad you’ll finally get to see his 54 gay kiss scene — and so are we!
10 30 33 38 40 42
Health & Wellbeing : Planking Community : Preserving Our Heritage Health & Wellbeing : The Long & The Short Out & About : Qwire — Doing It Their Way Out & About : Cube — Xmas in July
45 Stargazer : Your Horoscope 46 FUSE Community Directory 48 Dear Rose FUSECONTENTS
❂ RELATIONSHIPS AND US
Alexander Thatcher Editor
RELATIONSHIPS MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND Google defines relationships as “the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.” Can you think of any aspect in life that can exist or sustain growth without working relationships? The fact is if you look at any personal, work, political or even world problem it all boils down to relationships that just aren’t working — even nature relies on successful relationships. Unfortunately some relationships are probably never going to work, but we find ourselves stuck with them all the same. The reason we are still struggling so hard to get marriage equality in Australia is because we are working within relationships that will always be in conflict because of their political or ideological agendas. Sadly, interaction becomes a war of wills instead of a harmonious flow of ideas and we fight until somebody wins or yields. With a majority of Australians now believing marriage equality is a right, it’s really a matter of when, not if. It’s unfortunate that we are being held to ransom by a minority of narrow-minded conservatives. On the topic of relationships, our new political correspondent, Harley Dennett discusses why Canberran same-sex couples have more reason than most to be angry with the partisan games delaying marriage equality. p16.
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When it comes to building successful personal relationships, Julia O’Boyle is a bit of a guru. Her feature article asks “what happens after the honeymoon?” I think it’s a question that we don’t often ask ourselves. In this wonderfully informative feature, Julia encourages us to build deep and enduring relationships through communication and action. It’s a must read for everyone. p19. In this issue of FUSE you’ll also find our special feature interview with Hayley Teal. We caught up with Hayley who’s back in the limelight with her new EP Do You Love It. You may remember Hayley from X-Factor — when asked if she had a boyfriend back at home, she proudly said into the mic... “girlfriend.” p24. For something light, we review the new director’s cut of 54. In a recent interview, actor Ryan Phillippe said he’s looking forward to the new release because it restores, among other things, a steamy kiss between him and co-star Breckin Meyer that was left on the editing room floor. And we’re looking forward to it too! p36. Plus, why criminalising homosexuality is a public health hazard, the other little blue pill revolutionising gay men’s sex lives, the top 10 handsomest American cities, the truth about planking and so much more. Enjoy, Alex
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DID YOU KNOW? The total journey time from Earth to Mars takes between 150-300 days depending on the speed of the launch and the alignment of Earth and Mars.
ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL OPENS 3 SEPTEMBER FUSE An award winner at Sundance earlier in the year and an audience MOVIE favourite at the Sydney Film Festival, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl PICK is the indie, male equivalent of last year’s YA hit, Fault In Our Stars. OF THE MONTH! The eponymous Me is high school student, Greg (Thomas Mann), who along with his fellow film-loving buddy, Earl (RJ Cyler), become reluctant friends with Rachel (Olivia Cooke), the Girl of the title, who has recently been diagnosed with leukemia. Laughs and tears are guaranteed in equal measure.
EVEREST OPENS 17 SEPTEMBER A disaster film based on actual events, Everest — which was shot on location in Nepal and in the Italian Alps — tells the true story of a group of American, Australian and New Zealand climbers. They are faced with a far greater ordeal than reaching the summit of Mt. Everest when an avalanche occurs, threatening the lives of the intrepid adventurers. Jake Gyllenhaal, Josh Brolin, Jason Clarke and John Hawkes headline the impressive cast, and yes, that’s Keira Knightley doing a Kiwi accent.
PAN OPENS 24 SEPTEMBER After the success of last year’s Sleeping Beauty prequel Maleficent, producers of this origin tale of Peter Pan are no doubt hoping for similar box office magic. The film is a action packed re-imagining of Peter Pan’s origins. Young Aussie newcomer Levi Miller plays Peter Pan, with fellow Aussie Hugh Jackman as the pirate, Blackbeard. Although a surprisingly lightweight choice for director Joe Wright (Atonement, Anna Karenina), Pan will no doubt look as great as all of his previous films.
THE MARTIAN OPENS 1 OCTOBER The last time director Ridley Scott went into outer space the end result was Prometheus, the less than satisfying prequel to his classic 1970s sci-fi horror, Alien. Fingers crossed then that his latest space adventure, The Martian — which sounds a little like ‘Cast Away on Mars’ — delivers the goods. Matt Damon plays an astronaut abandoned on the red planet who must somehow contact NASA, or his crew, to mount a rescue before time runs out. Jessica Chastain, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Kristen Wiig also star.
By Dwayne Lennox
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FAIR A DY
WESTSIDE ACTON PARK
MARKETS & FAIR 1PM – 6PM
THE AIDS ACTION COUNCIL IS PROUD TO PRESENT FAIR DAY BY THE LAKE, A CELEBRATION OF CANBERRA’S VIBRANT LGBTIQ COMMUNITY.
A fabulous day of markets; gourmet food; businesses, social groups and advocacy stalls; music & drag; kids entertainment and a raft of fun activities. Plus as always the popular pet parade, which gives you the chance to show off your spoilt pooche!
ROOFTOP AFTER PARTY 6PM – 11PM
ROOFTOP AFTER PARTY Join us for a fabulous rooftop after party, where you can chill out by the bar or dance the night away with your friends. We’ll have some of Australia’s top DJ’s, plus live music, fashion parades, drag shows and SO MUCH MORE!
BY IR D THE AY ENT LAKE R G
YB O DO LD CO Y NAT IN ION
MARKETS DRAG ADE PAR T E P IC S U M E LIV T N E M IN A T R E T N KIDS E GOURMET FOOD Y RT A P R E T F A P O ROOFT
LGBTI Business & Community Directory Head over to the FUSE LGBTI directory where you’ll find friendly LGBTI owned businesses, community groups, sporting, social and support services. fusemagazine.com.au/directory
28 NOV FLORIADE COMES TO LIFE AFTER DARK WED. 23 — SUN. 27 SEPTEMBER
As the sun sets on Commonwealth Park, Floriade’s after-dark extravaganza takes visitors on a journey of discovery with spectacular lighting designs, roving performers, bustling night markets and a fantastic line-up of entertainment. Experience a taste of our city’s national attractions in The Inspiration Hub with interactive activities and exhibitions, or relax in The Comedy Cave with entertainment by top Aussie acts Hannah Gadsby and Joel Creasey. Delicious food and wine workshops will leave mouths watering in The Tasting Plate, while new pop-up venues — La Petite Grande and The Little Palais — will surprise crowds with classy sideshows, quirky circus acts, a silent disco and a UV dance party.
GET READY T0 BAKE
Buyers and bakers wanted! Deliciously good and heaps of fun — BAKE: Canberra’s GLBTIQ Charity Bake Off is back in 2015. If you don’t bake, don’t worry, because we also need lots of people to come along to buy, eat, and be merry. For more info and registration details check out the FUSE website fusemagazine.com.au
It’s a fun night of dancing with people of all flavours. There is a bar, BBQ and a live band to lead you through those dances that you might remember from primary school – like Strip the Willow, The Waves of Bondi, crazy polkas and some more genteel promenades. By the end of the night you’ll have danced with everyone, caught up with old friends, made some new ones and helped raise cash for the GLBTIQ community. More details p23.
SATURDAY 28 NOVEMBER
See ad p11. For more information and to book tickets visit floriadeaustralia.com/nightfest
SATURDAY 14 NOVEMBER
CUBE’S 10TH BIRTHDAY
CUBE Nightclub has teamed up with Drag Nation to bring you a drag comp like no other! Not only will Kings and Queens battle it out on the stage, but the winner will travel to Melbourne in 2016 to go head to head with state winners from around Australia. Register email firstname.lastname@example.org
Like any good 10th birthday party, Cube will have a balloon maker, clowns, a face painter, fairy floss and... wait for it... arcade game machines — all free! This night is going to be huge. DJ Pete, a legend at Cube, will be on the decks luring you away from the fun to dance like never before!
FRIDAY 28 OCTOBER
Find out what other events and happenings are going on in Canberra and Australia wide on the FUSE website at: FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU
SATURDAY 4 SEPTEMBER
5 The number of US Supreme Court judges — out of 9 — that voted to guarantee a right to same-sex marriage in America on 26 June 2015.
GAY MARRIAGE CAUSES SPLIT The Liberal Party’s first openly gay federal parliamentarian Dean Smith has vowed to cross the floor in support of same-sex marriage if a bill comes to the Senate for a vote. After the Prime Minister Tony Abbott once again blocked a Liberal Party conscience vote Mr Smith told media outlets, “In contemporary Australian society, it is no longer defensible for the state to deny proper and equal recognition of a marriage between two consenting adults, simply based on their sexuality.”
GAYBY BABY The critically-acclaimed Australian film Gayby Baby — a powerful and compassionate portrait of same-sex families — will open in Australian cinemas on 3 September 2015.
The Prime Minister said he would be disappointed if any of his backbenchers voted against party policy and that any Cabinet members doing so would have to resign from the ministry.
Gayby Baby addresses the marriage equality issue from the unique perspective of the children of same-sex partners — a perspective that, until now, has not been heard in the debate. The film introduces audiences to four Australian kids — Gus, Ebony, Matt and Graham — whose parents all happen to be gay. As they each wrestle with the challenges of oncoming adolescence, the outside world wrestles with the issue of marriage equality, and whether or not kids like them are at risk. It was one of seven outstanding Australian documentary films chosen for the inaugural Good Pitch2 Australia program. Good Pitch brings together documentary filmmakers with foundations, not-for-profits, campaigners, philanthropists, policymakers, broadcasters and key players in the film industry, around leading social and environmental issues, to forge coalitions and campaigns that are good for all these partners, good for the films and good for society. For screening details visit: thegaybyproject.com
TRANS BAN TO BE LIFTED BY US MILITARY The US military is on the brink of ending a controversial ban on trans service members — one that prohibited them from joining the armed forces, or serving openly if they transition during their career. In a press release from the US Secretary of Defence, Ash Carter said, “At a time when our troops have learned from experience that the most important qualification for service members should be whether they’re able and willing to do their job, our officers and enlisted personnel are faced with certain rules that tell them the opposite. Moreover, we have transgender soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines — real, patriotic Americans — who I know are being hurt by an outdated, confusing, inconsistent approach that’s contrary to our value of service and individual merit. 8
US SUPREME COURT RULES ON EQUALITY In a long-sought victory for equality, the US Supreme Court has ruled by a 5-to-4 vote that the US Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage. “No longer may this liberty be denied,” Justice Anthony M. Kennedy wrote for the majority in the historic decision. “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were.” Marriage is a “keystone of our social order,” Justice Kennedy said, adding that the plaintiffs in the case were seeking “equal dignity in the eyes of the law.” The decision, which was the culmination of decades of activism, set off jubilation and tearful embraces across the country. FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU
95% Over 95% of New Zealand students aged 12-15 want secondary schools to offer LGBTI workshops, according to a new study commissioned by the Ministry of Education and Rainbow Youth.
ROUND UP IT’S CRAZY TOWN!
FOXTEL FACES BACKLASH AFTER AIRING ANTI-SAME SEX MARRIAGE AD Foxtel is facing hundreds of threats of cancellation from subscribers for running an anti-gay marriage ad that was produced by the Christian lead group Marriage Alliance. Foxtel customers took to Facebook and Twitter to show their displeasure with the TV provider. “Just cancelled my account — Netflix is much less homophobic, and better value...”
Meet Becky Wegner Rommel, she’s a “Christ follower,” and she’s got something to get off her chest. In fact, Rommel’s got to take a break from cleaning her house right now to let us know how upset she feels about the Supreme Court’s ruling on gay marriage. She recently posted an anti-gay marriage video rant to end all anti-gay marriage video rants.. Quivering with outrage, she declared “This is a really sad day for me, today is a sad day for a lot of Christ followers. Because... today, our government decided that everything that God created his church to be, as man, as woman — Adam and Eve — five Justices decided that God was wrong!” And that’s just the beginning, Rommel’s histrionics go on for an action-packed four minutes and 36 seconds that are so horrifyingly fascinating you won’t be able to tear yourself away. At the time of writing, Rommel’s video had been watched 990,773 times. “… God says that marriage is between a man and a woman! I don’t care if you think I’m judging you. The fact is, the God of the universe, He is the truth!” Then she goes off the deep end and blames gay marriage on…wait for it… Islamic extremists! Like Barack Obama!
“What’s new on Foxtel this week? Bigotry, hatred and lies...”
Subscribers questioned Foxtel for airing advertisements for I Am Cait, the new reality show about Caitlyn Jenner’s transition, alongside the anti-equality message in the ads. Marriage Alliance’s campaign, which uses the line “It’s not as simple as you think”, says legislating to allow same-sex marriage may affect children, people’s rights and sex ed. Foxtel said it was aware its decision to air the ad had “caused hurt and distress to some customers.” “We believe this debate should be won by the force of the argument in favour of reform, not by refusing to engage in debate or allow contrary opinion to be put,” a spokesman said. The company said it was a strong supporter of marriage equality and it was screening a series of celebritybacked ads calling for marriage equality.
TRANS MAN’S JOY AS HE BUILDS A NEW BODY A new ad in the US shows the uplifting, emotional path of a tran man who is working hard at the gym to build a new body. The touching spot, which runs for over two minutes appears to be the first main stream advertisement from a large company that puts the process of gender transition front and centre.
Donald Trump’s refusal to back same-sex marriage on the basis that he only supports “traditional” unions was quickly undermined when a CNN host asked him “What do you say to a lesbian, who’s married or a gay man who’s married who says, ‘Donald Trump, what’s traditional about being married three times?’” Trump responded: “They have a very good point.”
See the video on the FUSE website. NEWS&POLITICS
ADAM LAMBERT OUT Magazine ran a survey to find out what their readers thought were the hottest, most likable, talented, and just downright dateable gay men. Adam Lambert came in number 1.
STUDY SHOWS ZERO HIV TRANSMISSIONS WHEN UNDETECTABLE
A groundbreaking study on antiretroviral treatment (ART) showed that the drugs can disable HIV and stop sexual transmission. The randomised study of 1,700 couples was conducted by UNC-Chapel Hill and confirmed a 2011 study that stated ART could prevent transmission of HIV if it is taken reliably. The medications suppress HIV and can render it virtually harmless, unable to transmit to a sexual partner.
TOP 10 ‘HANDSOMEST AMERICAN CITIES’
“If people are taking their pills reliably and they’re taking them for some period of time, the probability of transmission in this study is actually zero,” Myron Cohen, Chief of the Institute of Global Health and Infectous Diseases told the press. “Let me say it another way: We never saw a case of HIV transmission in a person who is stably suppressed on ART.”
Grooming Lounge found that men in Seattle spent the most, approximately $3,413 on personal care items annually, while men in Cleveland spent only $2,366. Seattle men also spent the most on shaving needs and the second most on services and apparel. Seattle’s win surprised the researchers until a vast network of men’s barbershops and spas was found, likely helping keep the men in Seattle engaged with their grooming routines. San Francisco came in second with Washington D.C. right behind them, so to speak.
While the news from this confirms that HIV viral loads can be suppressed to a level where it cannot be transmitted, Cohen cautioned that ART is not a proxy for a vaccine. It can however, break the chain of transmission, he told the news outlets. In addition, Cohen said researchers were still unclear as to how long a person remains contagious after starting treatment. In four cases of the over 1,700 mostly heterosexual couples in nine countries studied from 2005 to 2010 a sex partner was infected shortly after treatment began, but researchers concluded in those cases that the virus had not been suppressed yet. 10
Handsomeness is most definitely subjective. Still, it seems that an online mens grooming shop have taken it upon themselves to run an unscientific — yet fun — survey to decide what US city they think has the hottest guys! The ‘researchers’ explain they crowned Seattle the number one ‘Handsomest City’ because the guys there spend the most on grooming products then any other city in the US — yes we think that’s pretty ridiculous too, but there you go.
Not surprising the survey has received a lot attention and Grooming Lounge founder Michael Gilman told NBC’s Today Show “You can be a handsome guy, but if you don’t take care of yourself, it’s hard for that to shine through. People who spend time and money and effort on taking care of themselves, they end up looking a little better, a little more handsome. Just like when people get dressed up, they tend to look a little nicer.” Of course we should all keep in mind that all the hair products and creams in the world can’t turn you into Zac Efron or Brad Pitt. At the end of the day it’s all about being happy in your own skin and making the best of what you have. We’re all beautiful in our own way — corny, but true! Travelling to America — this is ‘apparently’ where you’ll find the hottest guys, or a least the most polished ones. Here’s the survey’s top 10.
1. Seattle, Wash. 2. San Francisco, Calif. 3. Washington, D.C. 4. Boston, Mass. 5. Denver, Colo.
6. New York, N.Y. 7. Austin, Texas 8. Nashville, Tenn. 9. Atlanta, Ga. 10. Minneapolis, Minn. FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU
WHY CRIMINALISING HOMOSEXUALITY IS A PUBLIC HEALTH HAZARD
By Anthony Lyons
Men are rightly afraid of disclosing their sexuality to service providers — who are required by law to report same-sex sexual practices. Anyone trying to organise a program around HIV prevention for men who have sex with men could be charged with “promoting homosexuality”. Research has shown that where homosexuality has been criminalised, men are likely to avoid HIV testing or seeking knowledge about safer sex if it risks exposing their sexual activities. But beyond this, increased levels of stigma — which inevitably results from criminalisation — mean gay and bisexual men are actually more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior.
HOMOSEXUALITY REMAINS ILLEGAL IN 38 OF 55 AFRICAN NATIONS Such a stance against homosexuality is concerning from ethical and human rights perspectives, but it also poses serious public health risks. Men who have sex with men account for a substantial minority of those affected by HIV, with their risk of infection more than double that of the general population. Many African countries also harbour homophobic cultures and attitudes. Together, this creates an environment where being gay is highly stigmatised, with gay people socially isolated and marginalised. We know from decades of research that criminalisation in general does little to change behaviour, but actually amplifies health risks by driving stigmatised communities underground, isolating them from health or support initiatives. This begs the question, what does this mean for LGBTI people across countries like Africa? EFFECTS ON HEALTH & HIV One of the greatest health risks created through the criminalisation of homosexuality relates to the treatment and prevention of HIV. The current situation in Uganda provides a striking case study of how the law can affect responses to HIV. Uganda was once considered a regional leader in HIV prevention. Just over 7% of the Ugandan population are HIV positive. This is significantly lower than the rate of 15%, which was projected two decades ago. Uganda’s success in preventing HIV transmission is often attributed to an early, progressive, and ambitious government response. However, in recent years the Ugandan government has taken an increasingly conservative approach to HIV-prevention, supporting abstinence-only programs and refusing to promote condom use. This has been accompanied by a major crack down on homosexuality in the form of the Anti-Homosexuality Bill, signed into law in 2014, although it was later annulled. The Ugandan government plans to introduce further anti-gay legislation, and homosexuality remains illegal. Similar legislation has also been introduced in The Gambia. Criminalisation of same-sex sexual practice cripples any initiatives aimed to prevent HIV transmission and treatment. 12
Criminalisation also decimates gay networks and communities. Gay and bisexual men in Western countries such as Australia and the United States had the social capital needed to mobilise the community to initiate HIV information and prevention programs. Community-led prevention — and government support for community led prevention — has long been acknowledged as the most important element of Australia’s successful efforts to reduce HIV transmission. Criminalising homosexuality removes the capacity for gay communities to organise and to mobilise around HIV prevention by effectively making such initiatives a criminal offence. MENTAL HEALTH AND WELLBEING The decimation of homosexual communities and stigmatisation of homosexuality has further implications for health and wellbeing. The criminalisation of homosexuality entrenches the stigma associated with it. There is a great deal of evidence that many individuals who experience stigma or marginalisation also experience considerable stress. Worldwide, lesbian, gay and bisexual (LGB) men and women experience far higher rates of depression, anxiety, and other stress-related disorders compared to the rest of the population. Such stress may come from discrimination, rejection, and concealment, as well as internalised stigma that leads to feelings of shame and low self-worth. In countries where homosexuality is a criminal offence, a fear of persecution and living in secrecy only adds further stress. Self-medication through substance abuse is also a risk, with LGB populations also tending to have higher rates of alcohol consumption and drug dependence. Conversely, LGB people with strong social networks and support tend to have better mental and physical health outcomes. FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU
Hey, don’t forget about doing our AIDS Action membership today.
MAKE A DIFFERENCE! WHY YOU SHOULD BECOME A MEMBER OF
THE AIDS ACTION COUNCIL THE AIDS ACTION COUNCIL NEEDS YOUR HELP! If you are interested in issues concerning sexual health, HIV and AIDS and want to support a grass roots community organisation, we want you! Throughout the world, people living with or affected by HIV and AIDS are banding together in organisations in an effort to increase awareness about the virus and to address stigma and discrimination and to educate themselves and their communities on HIV prevention, care and treatment. In Canberra the organisation is the Council. The Council is in the vanguard of social change, creating networks of support, producing educational materials, and advocating for a positive voice for positive people. The Council works to ensure that people living with HIV and AIDS have input into the creation, development, and implementation of services and policies within the organisation and advocates and lobbies for change within the broader community. This is achieved through the members of the organisation working with people living with HIV and AIDS, by supporting community events, being informed and educated and working together to address stigma and discrimination. Our members encourage others to get tested, speak out, raise awareness, seek medical help, provide support, and advocate for change.
BECOME A MEMBER OR RENEW NOW!
BECOME A MEMBER TODAY! EACH PERSON CAN MAKE A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE! Members receive access to discounted safe sex products, information and news on sexual health, can access special free services, two awesome safe sex packs per year, invitations to all Council events, newsletters and access to ‘members only’ offers from our partners. And importantly, you get to support the ongoing work of the Council.
ALREADY A MEMBER — RENEWALS ARE DUE NOW! We know how easily membership renewal can slip to the bottom of the task list. By renewing now you’ll be ensuring that you continue to receive your members benefits and important information from the Council. Voting: Although you can join at any time, to be an active ‘voting’ member, you need to apply or renew your membership at least 30 days prior to our Annual General Meeting. Don’t let your renewal laps: Anyone who has not renewed their membership since the last Annual General Meeting will be automatically removed from the list, please renew your membership ASAP.
Call 6257 2855, email email@example.com or download the Council membership form directly at aidsaction.org.au/become-a-member 13
A DAILY PILL THAT CAN COMPLETELY PREVENT THE RISK OF HIV IS THE GOAL, AND FOR ITS ADVOCATES THE NEW US-CREATED DRUG TRUVADA IS CLOSE ENOUGH.
By Harley Dennett
Nothing is ever that simple, though, and medical experts have agonised over whether a daily pill can match, or even surpass the impact condoms had 25 years ago. Two groups of gay men stand out as needing something better: those for whom condoms aren’t practical and couples where one partner is HIV positive and the other is negative. For Sean — not his real name — the first Australian to legally be prescribed Truvada outside a clinical trial, it’s a clear public health benefit that improves the lives of gay men as well as helping reduce new HIV infections.
The other little blue pill revolutionising gay men's sex lives “Gay sexual health has advanced rapidly since the last time I was single,” says Sean of his decision to seek out the drug. “During my last trip to the United States … I found that it was used by almost all the gay men that I met.” Sean, now single and eager to play, sought out the drug through his employer, the Australian Defence Force. Despite some temporary side effects after his first dose, Sean is extremely happy with the added assurance it gives him about his own health. This is where it gets complicated, and a little embarrassing for Australia. Most of Canberra’s gay men can’t do what Sean has done. Despite being a recognised global leader in HIV prevention for almost three decades, Australia has stalled on this next phase of prevention. The concept is called PrEP — Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, with ‘prophylaxis’ meaning to prevent or control the spread of an infection or disease. It’s based on an existing treatment, already available in Australia known as PEP – Post-Exposure Prophylaxis. PEP is relatively well-known these days as the treatment that can be taken up to 72 hours after someone suspects they’ve come into contact with HIV. Like PEP, Truvada contains antiviral medicines used to treat people who already have HIV infection. Truvada has been approved in the US since 2012. There are now several generic versions also available. In 2014, the World Health Organization’s Consolidated Guidelines recommended PrEP as “an additional HIV prevention choice for men who have sex with men”, as well as couples where one is HIV positive and the other negative. However, the Therapeutic Goods Administration (TGA) has not yet licensed any drug for PrEP in Australia. The Australian Defence Force used a loophole, designed to allow it early access to experimental PTSD drugs, to obtain the Truvada for Sean without TGA approval. This has caused frustration among sexual health professions. Canberra missed out on trials, which were offered in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane. Those trials are continuing, which prompted Dr Bridget Haire, president of the Australian Federation of AIDS Organisations to ask, bluntly: “PrEP works, so how come we are still doing research on it?” Writing in HIV Australia, Dr Haire spelled out the absurdity of Australia’s hesitancy: 14
“The use of antiretroviral drugs in HIV-negative people has now been clearly established as an effective HIV prevention method … demonstrated in five randomised control trials in different populations at high risk of HIV acquisition and three effectiveness studies. “It is fairly extraordinary then that in 2015, people living in Australia can only access PrEP through small-ish implementation studies in NSW, Victoria and Queensland, through ‘off label’ prescription (approximate cost $10,000– $13,500 per year) or personal importation of generic drug (with a valid prescription).” In the US the introduction of PrEP has been somewhat controversial, with concerns that gay men will stop using condoms, and accusations of sex shaming. Nobody is saying stop using condoms, as PrEP does not stop other sexually transmitted infections. But medical leaders around the world, not just here, are wondering why is Australia falling behind in a public health field that it used to dominate. FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU
Canberra Sexual Health Centre Canberra’s leading clinic for free testing and treatment of sexually transmissible infections and HIV on the Canberra Hospital campus in Garran, ACT Knowing your HIV status allows you to get treatment early, stay well and reduce risk to your partners Look after your health, choose condoms, and talk and test often Free, friendly, non-judgemental and confidential specialist sexual health care Daily walk-in clinics (no appointment)
Some booked appointments at other times HIV PEP during business hours — after hours please attend your local Emergency Department M-Clinic for after hours checkups for gay and other MSM — first business Monday of the month.
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ho en w m r e oth sex ! y and a W g anal n O i d e e N t r e otec 13 w OU K unpr Y n 20 l i a s D u I e s s s D statu ad ca k agno i s V h i I d r y H e V V n I Surv w HI ertai ey H of ne iodic r unc the k r o s e % i n P 0 s 7 om now nity cond f unk mmu t o o u s C r o e y ith partn ra Ga sex w with nber a n Anal C o i t 013 otec the 2 le pr n b i x a l i n e nths va al se of m 3 mo sily a d an a e y t r e c e t 30% rote mos to ev t up ll the r unp i s e t e t s t f e a o t ar sible ged oms oura s pos c Cond a n n e s soo n are CALL US EP a h me P t i V I w sH ex s s u e c v s a Di on 6244 2184 or check ho h en w m r e h t o our website for opening hours and Gay
© Australian Capital Territory, Canberra www.health.act.gov.au | www.act.gov.au | Enquiries: Canberra 13ACT1 or 132281
Harley Dennett is a long-time political correspondent in the federal parliamentary press gallery. He currently edits The Mandarin, an online publication for public sector leadership. He is also a member of the ACT LGBTIQ Ministerial Advisory Council and is a former news editor of the Star Observer.
VIEW FROM THE HILL
pa rtisa n ga mes just a ren’t as f u n for t he p ol it ic a l fo otb a l l
Canberra’s same-sex couples have more reason than most to be angry with the partisan games delaying marriage equality.
WHAT WENT WRONG WITH THE MARRIAGE BILL?
If marriage for any-gender couples was a reality right now – as it could have been had saboteurs not wrecked a plan for a multi-party bill that was achingly close to fruition – that wouldn’t be the end. Far from it.
If you talk to different people in parliament, you get a different story for why consensus couldn’t be reached to pass a reform that around three quarters of the population support.
There is still a necessary debate waiting in the wings around the variety of relationship recognition that the public is clearly craving from religious “no faultless divorce” marriages, to civil unions, and everything in between. Civil unions brought in by ACT minister Simon Corbell in 2012 was a symbolic and outcomes achievement for the territory that unfortunately has not recieved the credit it deserved. Many in this city and across the country too easily dismissed the idea of a simple opt-in baggage-free version of relationship recognition. Marriage, layered in centuries of mostly-horrible history, isn’t for everyone. In government, Julie Gillard’s defense of traditional marriage didn’t pass the sniff test, but her post-Lodge feminist critique of marriage as institution that nobody should have to join does still resonate with many in this city. From the press gallery, when I hear a politician or staffer talk about civil partnerships at all, it’s usually to dismiss it as a “separate but equal” injustice, or encroaching on the proper domain of traditional marriage – a folly of a liberal territory with little relevance to the wider community. It shouldn’t have been that way. Canberra should have been the Vermont and Provincetown of the US marriage equality movement, with same-sex couples flocking to celebrate a partnership of their own design and choice. It was bad timing with Australia already impatient for marriage equality as a cause-celebre, but the well isn’t polluted entirely. For the Gillard-esque, for the polyamorous relationships, for the ultra-orthodox and textualfundamentalist types, civil marriage as it is likely to stand does not meet their needs. The ACT can and should take a lead in promoting national harmonisation of opt-in relationship registers to accommodate the 1000-plus-odd who registered their civil union here and the many more who need something slightly different again. De facto relationships are mutually recognised across all Australian jurisdictions, and Canberrans have the right to demand no less for their civil unions. 16
By Harley Dennett
The Greens put up a new bill almost every year, but that’s how you generate headlines, not how you pass legislation when you have just a single member in the lower house. Behind the scenes efforts to get a consensus bill co-sponsored by MPs from the Liberals, Labor and Greens had been underway for a very long time. Well before the prime minister tested the waters of his own conservative backbenchers by floating the possibility that same-sex marriage could pass with a conscience vote in this term under those conditions. That public statement was nothing more than another move in Tony Abbott’s precarious leadership balancing act according to some in this building; others, like Liberal MP and marriage equality convert Warren Entsch, saw it as firing the starting gun. This still surprises many who don’t meet the Nationals MPs often, but there really are some with gay and lesbian friends and family who would seek permission to vote for the bill under those conditions. But not everyone was ready to play by Tony’s rules. Two missteps have almost killed the consensus bill altogether: the first was the leaking of the co-sponsors before the Liberal party room could even discuss the idea. It wasn’t fatal, but came close. The second was fatal: Bill Shorten introducing Labor’s own go-it-alone bill, “launched” in a highly choreographed gathering of hundreds of LGBTI community members and supporters in Labor’s party meeting room to coincide with its introduction to the House of Reps. The Greens can introduce grandstanding bills without killing bipartisanship. Labor can’t. Tony pulled the plug on a Liberal conscience vote and short of some specular backflip the issue is dead until the next parliament. FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU
“We thought we couldn’t be foster carers with Barnardos because we’re gay, but we were wrong.”
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(02) 6228 9500 barnardos.org.au/wecare
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has experienced counsellors, mediators and educators who provide services in a friendly, open and respectful way for all members of our communities. We openly welcome people from the GLBTI communities.
• Enhancing relationships • Parenting • Relationship difficulties, including separation • Re-partnering and family relationships • Communication issues • Family violence • Managing conflict • Trust issues • Sexual difficulties • Grief and loss • Self-esteem & identity issues • Support for people finding it hard to manage their gambling and their families
Our focus is relationships and any issues impacting on you or your relationships in all domains of our lives, including partners, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues or children.
Relationships Australia also delivers support services for Forgotten Australians and Former Child Migrants, and survivors of child sexual abuse who take part in or are affected by the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse. To find out more contact us on
1300 364 277 or visit racr.relationships.org.au
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CRISIS SERVICE
PROVIDES SUPPORT TO WOMEN, MEN AND CHILDREN WHO HAVE BEEN SUBJECTED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WITHIN THE ACT • Crisis Intervention • Crisis Counselling & Referrals • Court Advocacy & Case Tracking • Access to Emergency Accommodation • Safety Planning • Community Education & Training • Support Groups • Young People’s Outreach Program • Interpreter Service Available
24 HOUR CRISIS LINE
02 6280 0900 TTY: 02 6228 1852 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org (8am to 11pm daily) Online: dvcs.org.au Facebook & Twitter: @DVCSACT
By Julia O’Boyle Director of Life Unlimited Health Solutions
RELATIONSHIPS WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE HONEYMOON? YOU’VE FOUND “THE ONE”. YOU CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING THEY ARE. HIS EYES ARE SO BRILLIANT; HER SKIN SMELLS SO SWEET; YOU’RE HAVING THE BEST SEX EVER AND YOU KNOW YOU’VE NEVER TRULY BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE. YOU’VE FOUND YOUR SOUL MATE, YOUR LIFE PARTNER, THE ONE YOU’LL GROW OLD WITH. THIS IS GOING TO BE FOREVER. Sounds wonderful doesn’t it? There’s nothing like being in love — those heady days when you feel like you’re walking on a cloud. You’re loved-up and lusty; sleep deprived sure, but you’re bullet proof. It’s you and your lover against the world. Same-sex relationships often get bad press: we don’t have enduring relationships, we don’t value long term commitments, we’re promiscuous, we don’t believe in monogamy, and so on. With divorce rates around the 50% mark in Australia amongst our straight mates… well, they can’t exactly point their fingers at us. And as for the sanctity of marriage being destroyed by all us righteous gays wanting equal rights, we gleefully retaliate that Britney was married for all of 55 hours, and one of those Kardashians made it to 72 days.
In reality, we all know a same sex couple who have a long and enduring relationship. I know a couple of fellas who’ve just celebrated 28 years together, and a number of my coupled up friends have been together a decade or more. The “honeymoon” part of relationships can last anywhere from a few months to a couple of years. It’s a stage where we idealise and idolise our partner; they have all the characteristics of our perfect mate. We pull out all stops to prove that we’re the perfect match for them too. After a while the majority of couples find that reality sets in — sexy lingerie is replaced by comfy trackies, and a good night’s sleep can take priority over a night of passion. It’s not that people change after a time, it just becomes more apparent who we really are and other realities need to be dealt with: children, sickness, family arguments, work pressures, bereavements, breakdowns, depression, trauma and well, life. It’s easy to be “in love”, but to demonstrate love (yes, Love is a verb!), on an ongoing basis is a different thing all together. This is what is required to discover a love that transcends time; you get to know this person, warts and all, and still love them. Real love takes a daily commitment.
The honeymoon ends and couples settle into a more companionable relationship. You’ve decided to hitch your wagons and commit to living together, perhaps sharing finances as well as a home. Decisions get made, disagreements happen. The first real fight feels like the end of the world, doesn’t it? But you’ve made a commitment, and despite how awful you feel, you go to the shops together anyway, you attend the family party or dinner with friends. And after a while, the pain recedes, you feel softer towards each other and life goes on. Love makes us vulnerable and while a snide comment from a co-worker or family member might sting, it feels crucifying if a loved one delivers it. We’ve opened our hearts to each other and allowed intimacy in, so it’s inevitable that we allow ourselves to get hurt as well.
LOVE IS A VERB
At this point, some couples get scared — perhaps by the enormity of the commitment, maybe reality doesn’t look so great without honeymoon coloured glasses, or perhaps because they don’t feel equipped to navigate a long-term and enduring relationship. How do you resolve arguments? What if you don’t like your girlfriend’s best friend? What if you’re not out but he is? How do you talk about money? Who does what around the house? How to tell your partner about your crazy dysfunctional family and that Christmas is at Gran’s in far north Woop-Woop this year? You eat Paleo, but your boyfriend likes Maccas — how do you talk about health in your household? You’re thinking of voting Green next election but your partner is a card-carrying Labor voter; do you have a values clash, and if so how will this affect the relationship? A successful relationship will be one where each person’s values are similar, but it doesn’t always mean that we agree with each other. Values are important, they’re codes by which we live. Many of our values are strongly held and will be around family, relationships, health, community, spirituality and faith, and will guide us in decision making, resolving disagreements and making plans. A key aspect of a successful relationship is how we communicate with each other. It’s important to remember that mind-reading is not a reliable tool for clear and effective conversations! You don’t really know what your partner is thinking unless they tell you. Communication allows us to share our passions, ideas, interests, aspirations and concerns. If we can communicate well with each other we can also resolve the inevitable conflicts that come along. It isn’t the absence of conflict that defines a healthy long-term relationship, but our ability to resolve conflict respectfully. Once we know the “rules” — both of fair fighting, and what you each value, disagreements are easier to resolve. For example, if you have agreed to be monogamous, you’ll know there’ll be an issue if one of you fancies someone else. 20
If you have a big, close family and your partner doesn’t, you may be in for a heated discussion about the summer holidays — down the coast with the rellies or off overseas on your own? And finances — how are they organised? “My” money or “our” money?
RELATIONSHIPS WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE HONEYMOON?
We need to be able to put our own needs aside at times in order to demonstrate care and love. In a long term relationship it becomes less important to say “I love you” and more important to demonstrate love. If you couldn’t tell your partner you love them, how would they know? What actions would demonstrate your level of care? These can be mundane, boring, or difficult — things that we don’t always feel like doing, but we do them anyway. It’s coming home and cooking dinner for her after a hard day at work. It’s getting up and making his morning coffee because you know he loves it. It’s cleaning the house, putting the rubbish out, and doing the laundry, as well as taking him out on a romantic date, or buying a surprise that you know she’ll love, and giving it to her just when you know she needs it most. In a world that is often fast, furious, full of instant gratification and constant selfobsession, coupled with an unhealthy media bombardment of “fireworks” romance and an expectation that we should “feel good” all the time, it’s no wonder that relationship breakdown rates are so high. For true love to flourish we actually have to be willing to put in the hard yards, to delay gratification at times, to put another’s needs before our own. We have to be willing to demonstrate love to our partner, even when we are feeling tired, cranky and overwhelmed with life. And if we have chosen the right one, they will be able to do that for us too.
Julia O’Boyle is the Director of Life Unlimited Health Solutions — a Psychology and Counselling practice in Turner ACT. For more information call 02 6248 5138 or visit: lifeunlimited.com.au You can also find Julia on the net at: sometimesjuliawrites.wordpress.com The information published in this article is for personal use only. Information is not intended to be comprehensive or intended for the purpose of any psychological diagnosis, therapy or provided as an alternative to obtaining psychological advice from a qualified practitioner.
DID YOU KNOW? Bayard Rustin, one of Martin Luther King Jr. most trusted advisers, was a gay man. This speaks volumes about King’s view on homosexuality and equality.
LOVE IS STRANGE
MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
Given recent legal events in the US, Ira Sachs’ film is both timely and a reminder that while one battle has been won, the war for equality is far from over. When same-sex marriage is legalised in New York, long-time couple (played by Alfred Molina and John Lightgow) tie the knot. But when one of them is soon fired from his job with a Catholic school and with finances tight, the pair are forced to live apart with family and friends; a situation which puts a strain on several relationships. Terrific performances by the two leads, as well as Marisa Tomei, make Love Is Strange an affecting and relevant drama.
In a year full of sequels, few generated as much buzz and critical praise as did George Miller’s return to the actionfueled world of Mad Max in Fury Road. Audiences and critics went nuts for this non-stop car chase of a movie as Max (Brit Tom Hardy replacing Mel Gibson) and Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) tore across the Australian outback (actually Namibia), hoping to deliver a bevy of beauties from the clutches of evil. Some “men” were up in arms about the female-centric focus of Fury Road but Miller and his film were unapologetic: get on board or get off the road!
Xavier Dolan is a kind of wunderkind, with the 25-yearold Canadian writer-director having made five films in five years, and usually to plaudits. But Mommy — the story of a testing mother-son relationship which is eased somewhat with the arrival of a helpful neighbour — is his first film to receive a non-festival cinema release in Australia. And it’s not hard to see why: an impeccable soundtrack, terrific performances (Anne Dorval should’ve won awards) and big emotions fill the screen (Mommy shot in a 1:1 aspect ratio) in this tale of unwavering if not unconditional love.
The funniest film of 2015 so far? We’d argue strongly in the affirmative. Directed by Paul Feig (Bridesmaids; The Heat), Spy deploys Melissa McCarthy’s comedic skills to perfect effect as Susan Cooper, a CIA analyst who is removed from her desk job and placed in the field when her operative (Jude Law) is killed in the line of duty and a nuclear bomb has to be recovered. Rose Byrne, as the villain Rayna Boyanov, and Jason Statham, as a testosterone-fuelled operative, bounce off McCarthy splendidly but make no mistake, it’s the comedic leading lady who makes this mission a riotous success.
By Dwayne Lennox
FOX HOME ENTERTAINMENT
You’ll find all these titles at JB HiFi, online or at all good DVD outlets. Check out fusemagazine.com.au for DVD giveaway details. Reviewed for FUSE by Dwayne Lennox — thelennoxfiles.blogspot.com.au FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU
Dust off your hat, polish your boots and grab those rhinestones because it’s Canberra Bushdance! It’s a fun night of dancing with people of all flavours. There is a bar, BBQ and a live band to lead you through those dances that you might remember from primary school – like Strip the Willow, The Waves of Bondi, crazy polkas and some more genteel promenades. By the end of the night you’ll have danced with everyone, caught up with old friends, made some new ones and helped raise cash for the GLBTI community. Have fun with your Bushdance outfit. It’s a night of singlets, jeans, twirling dresses, chaps, check shirts, rhinestones, akubras, hats and boots.
Yarralumla Woolshed, Cotter Road Saturday 14 November 2015. 7:30pm – 1:00am Tix at the door $30 full / $20 concession with card. Cash payments only for ticket and bar. There will be a mobile ATM on site.
Canberra Bushdance is an R18+ event so please make sure you bring photo ID. Canberra Bushdance is a community fundraiser co-ordinated by The Canberra Gay & Lesbian Tennis Club. Media supporter FUSE Magazine
By Scott Malcolm Director of Money Mechanics By Scott Malcolm Director of Money Mechanics
HAYLEY TEAL HAS BECOME QUITE THE SENSATION SINCE SHE APPEARED ON AUSTRALIA’S X FACTOR. IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY THAT SHE ABSOLUTELY SMASHED IT WITH HER OWN RENDITION OF THE ALICIA KEYS SONG, ‘HOW COME YOU DON’T CALL ME?’ THE AUDIENCE AND JUDGES GIVING HER A STANDING OVATION. IT WAS THE NIGHT WHEN HAYLEY WAS ASKED IF SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND BACK AT HOME — SHE SAID INTO THE MIC...
GIRLFRIEND AND THE CROWD WENT WILD AND CHEERED.
HAYLEY TEAL DO YOU LOVE IT?
I always say that a big part of your financial life is ensuring you are living out your dreams and passions. Money is just a means to an end, meaning you don’t want the piles of money you want the lifestyle or experiences it can provide you. I often do coaching work with clients around what their ideal life would be like, and whether they are you doing the things they really want to be doing — personally, professionally or in life generally? Do you love it? This month I have mixed my love of music with my passion for financial education and life planning by interviewing the awesome Australian Singing Talent Hayley Teal. Readers may remember Hayley from X-Factor in 2009 and who was coached by Natalie Imbruglia.
THE INTERVIEW Hearing you sing you have a load of passion and talent! I really enjoyed the lyrics to ‘show business’ on your new EP – it sounds like you’re singing about being authentic as well as the challenges in the music industry and some of the challenges of your journey so far. What has it been like for you? Would you do something like X-factor again and how was it being out and proud on the show? Yes, “Show Business” is about the struggles in the music industry, especially for an independent artist. You have to grow a very thick skin to be able to handle when doors are ‘slammed in your face’. Many people can sing, but what the industry wants these days, is so much more than that. Not only do you need to tick all the boxes, but it’s very hard proving yourself as an artist to a stranger. When you have worked your whole life on your artistry, meeting someone for the first time, or showing a song or so, is hardly a great demonstration of exactly who you are! The music industry is one of the hardest industries to ‘make it’ so you really need so much more than just passion, it needs to be who you are as a person/your life and you also need resilience! Music isn’t what I do, it’s who I am so I will never give up at reaching my dreams and goals!
Doing the X-Factor was an amazing experience and opened a lot of doors for me. Not to mention that at twenty years it taught me who I was/am as an artist, which is a very important thing growing up in and around the music industry. FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU
SATURDAY NIGHTS FROM 7PM NO COVER CHARGE
PIANO MAN WAYNE KELLY
WAYNE KELLY PLAYS JAZZ PIANO EVERY SATURDAY EVENING AT TILLEY’S.
Wayne has been a professional musician for over 25 years and has played with notable musicians including Wynton Marsalis, James Morrison, Dale Barlow, Andrew Speight, Don Burrows and Roy Hargrove. He has performed overseas for a number of years including residencies at the Venetian Resort in Macao; the Park Hyatt and the Peninsula Hotel in Shanghai; and CJW in Beijing.
MONDAY TO SATURDAY 7.30AM – 10.30PM SUNDAYS & PUBLIC HOLIDAYS 8.00AM – 5.00PM ~ KITCHEN OPEN ALL HOURS ~ CORNER OF WATTLE & BRIGALOW STREETS, LYNEHAM TILLEYS.COM.AU 27
As a finance geek I am all about crowd funding and love that you helped fund your latest EP via a Pozible Campaign. How was the experience for you doing the Pozible Campaign? Was it what you expected and any advice for people considering this as part of their journey? I’m so very grateful I reached the target of $12,000.00 for my Pozible Campaign, but I’m not going to lie… it was damn hard! It really needs to be treated as a full time job, if anyone is considering going down the crowd-funding road. You need to be spending hours, every day networking, messaging, calling, emailing and promoting to reach your target. I think people expect you to just sit back and watch the numbers roll in, but you are really ‘working’ to make that money. Luckily for me, I had many amazing people pledge and donate to support my goal of creating my first EP and was successful, so it was a very positive experience and I now have a piece of work I’m so proud of. Lastly being my first ‘entertainment style piece’ what is one question I haven’t asked you that you think you should be asked? Perhaps, advice to people that are wanting a career in music? I am lucky enough to have my ‘hobby’ as my full time job, I sing all around Melbourne every week and am able to fully support my life by singing. I believe I’m able to do that as I put in the work in my younger years with singing lessons, open mic nights, song writing from a young age, recording and anything that I knew was going to give me the experience I needed when it was time to get paid for it!
I was lucky enough to be signed to an independent record label when I was fourteen, so I dedicated most of my teenage years on the things mentioned above. I also really took becoming a versatile and strong singer, seriously, which is why I believe now I’m able to do all sorts of gigs, whether I’m booked for a rock gig at a pub or a jazz show with twenty back up dancers and pyrotechnics! I also made a point to listen to all different types of artists and genres including rnb/pop/soul/funk/hiphop/ country/rock/classical/jazz/instrumental/dance… everything! Playing an instrument, really aids in your performance abilities and songwriting, even if its just the basics, so stick to an instrument as much as you can or heck, a few! :) Lots of people don’t want their child to be a full-time musician as the money can be tempestuous, but I disagree. If you dedicate lots of time to becoming versatile in all genres, make sure your technique is tip top, professionalism, reliability, etc you can be a successful full time singer/musician! If you haven’t heard Hayley’s amazing voice, check out and support Hayley’s new EP which was launched at the end of June and can be downloaded via iTunes.
Scott Malcolm is Director of Money Mechanics a fee-for-service business who are authorised to provide financial advice through PATRON Financial Advice AFSL 307379. For more information email email@example.com or call 1300 772 643. The information provided in this article is of a general nature only. It has been prepared without taking into account your objectives, financial situation or needs. Before acting on this information, you should consider its appropriateness having regard to your own financial goals, objectives and personal circumstances.
Walk in to treatment for MINOR INJURY or ILLNESS
Now open at the Tuggeranong and Belconnen Community Health Centres 7.30 am â€“ 10 pm daily
PLEASE NOTE: children under 2 years and those who have complex health issues should visit their GP
THE TRUTH ABOUT
PLANKING You may find yourself wondering if planking is a fitness exercise and social media challenge or just an instagram opportunity — but in actual fact planking is an ancient Yoga pose that should not be taken lightly.
HOW TO PLANK CORRECTLY
Although planking seems like a fad, it’s actually been around for over 5000 years and is considered one of the best abdominal exercises because it tightens those deep core muscles. It’s a static pose where you use your arms or elbows to raise yourself off the floor and hold the whole body straight and rigid.
2. Push your body up into your upper back and hold your chin
Kumbhakasana, Santolasana, Phalakasana, Chaturanga Dandasana, Plank, whatever you call it, it’s a yoga pose that can really work those abs, but be warned planking is not something you just start doing, it’s a serious pose and if not treated with care can cause pain and health issues. Planking is a fundamental part of Yoga Sun Salutations and is traditionally done for a relatively short time. But if you hold this pose for a while, done correctly it will tone your core muscles. You may think that the core muscles are only the ones in your stomach. In fact, the core is made up of all the muscles that connect the upper and lower body, including those of the stomach, lower back, hips and buttocks. These muscles are essential for supporting the spine, aiding good posture, and almost every movement. By strengthening core muscles you will not only be on a fast track to a flatter stomach but it will also improve the effectiveness of any exercise you do.
1. Hold your elbows directly under your shoulders and place your wrists in line with your elbows.
close to your neck (like you’re holding an egg between your chin and your throat).
3. In this position, brace your abdominals — contract them like expecting a punch in your stomach, squeeze your gluteal and thigh muscles simultaneously while continuing to breathe normally.
4. If your just starting out, hold for around 5 to 10 seconds, increasing it over time — the longer you can hold the stronger your core will become and you will quickly see an improvement. Rest for approximately one minute and repeat three to five more times.
5. Start doing the plank using your elbows and toes (beginners should drop to their knees if necessary) and progress up to a high plank and side planks when you feel you have developed the necessary strength.
AND... HOW NOT TO PLANK!
The cool thing about Planking is you can do it anywhere — just ask Zac Efron — you don’t need any equipment and it only takes a few minutes. What’s more, it is more effective than sit-ups and crunches because they only work the superficial abdominal muscles. 30
Zac Efron: It Was “Awkward” Planking Naked Over a Toilet in That Awkward Moment. Nudity? No problem. But being naked while planking on a toilet, however, is another matter. FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU
I N N E R A D V A N TA G E Formulated to work from the inside out to support skin
Benefits may include
DO YO U
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WHOLISTIC BODYWORK NATURAL THERAPIES AND WEEKLY YOGA PHYSICAL AND ENERGETIC HEALING Gregory has been working in Canberra as a highly qualified Natural Therapist and Yoga instructor for over 20 years. He’s successfully treated a wide range of common physical problems such as: soft tissue injuries, digestive problems, muscle aches, painful joints and post-operative scars. He’s also had great success in treating various mental and emotional problems such as: stress-induced anxiety, relationship problems, depression, sleep disorders, phobias, lack of motivation and fatigue. BECOME MORE RESILIENT TO LIFE’S UPS AND DOWNS Gregory also runs weekly Yoga classes in a supportive and friendly enviroment, classes are tailored for all stages of life and fitness. • GENERAL YOGA CLASSES (open to everyone) • NUDE YOGA CLASSES (men only) Meet like-minded people and enjoy the social side of Yoga while learning postures, breathing and philosophy. Email: email@example.com Gregory Barnes, Dip. Shiatsu, Dip. Yoga Teaching, Cert. Massage, Cert. Tantric Yoga Teaching, Reiki Master. Health Fund provider. Based in Red Hill.
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By Cris Kennedy
PRESERVING OUR HERITAGE OVER ITS THIRTY YEARS, THE AIDS ACTION COUNCIL OF THE ACT HAS AMASSED A FASCINATING AND UNIQUE COLLECTION OF LOCAL AND NATIONAL HISTORY. Posters, t-shirts, brochures, information packs, cassette tapes, videos and CDs, all developed as teaching and information tools for health promotion campaigns, as well as many of the same to promote events for the LGBTIQ and sex worker communities. Also collected were photographs of social events, fundraising dinners and life in Canberra across this era.
The Collection is a priceless record of the work of the Council, of the evolving awareness of and response to HIV and AIDS, and of the greater communityâ€™s understanding of LGBTIQ life in the Canberra region. When the Council ended its lease at Westlund House in July and moved to a smaller, more sustainable space at Havelock House, a new home for this important collection had to be found to perserve it for future generations. FUSECOMMUNITY
The team at Northside know it takes a lot more than a rainbow flag to make a service LGBTI friendly.
We also know we can’t do it alone. That’s why we have been working closely with our friends in the Canberra Gay & Lesbian Qwire, the AIDS Action Council of the ACT, A Gender Agenda and the broader LGBTI community to ensure our services and staff are informed, inclusive and aware. Northside Community Service has been working with the Canberra community for more than 35 years.
OUR SERVICES INCLUDE: • • • • • • • • • • •
Housing & Homelessness Services Aged Care & disability Services Early childhood Education & Care Social Inclusion & Outreach Services Youth Engagement Community Development In home support & Personal Care Community transportation Pet Assistance & Wellbeing Services (PAWS) Aboriginal & Torres Strait Islander Programs Venue Hire
If you or someone you know could benefit from the listed services, why not give our team a call. And by the way, we are always on the lookout for ‘Exceptional’ volunteers to join the team so if you have courage and integrity we would love to hear from you too.
02 6257 2255 • 2 ROSEVEAR PLACE, DICKSON ACT WWW.NORTHSIDE.ASN.AU @NORTHSIDEACT
EXCEPTIONAL PEOPLE COURAGEOUS PRACTICE
Real estate is expensive. It took two full rooms to house this Collection at Westlund and in a new and smaller space this would cost money to maintain and take space away from other core-business activities of the Council. The Collection to date has been lovingly and painstaking amassed, curated and looked after by volunteers and staff. But people move on, they move away, their time gets taken up with other things, and so while there are strong feelings for the Collection, there isn’t a permanent and on-going owner for it. Additionally, as we all get older, it is important to now capture the context behind and the provenance of the items so future generations will understand the importance of people, characters, campaigns and places that will have changed or lessened over decades and centuries.
We are very grateful to have had so many of our volunteers help us out through the process of photographing and documenting the Collection. A lot of work had already been done over the year but there were new items and there were gaps in information – we have been especially concentrating on capturing the intangible information that will help future generations to understand what they’re looking at. Hopefully their sense of understanding will be challenged because words like HIV and AIDS are a dim memory of an epidemic that science was able to cure in years to come.
The Board of the Council, working with the staff and volunteers, looked at options for a permanent home that would keep the Collection together, allow it to be accessed for research and exhibition purposes, allow it to be added to, allow its papers and linens and dyes and photographs and multimedia formats from floppy discs to DVDs to be preserved by specialists in preservation. And so, we have been in discussions with the ACT Heritage Library, who we feel are the natural home for such a significant slice of Canberra’s recent history. Additionally, we will be looking to share photography and ephemera and other items with the Australian Gay and Lesbian Archives (alga.org.au). We are looking at sharing some duplicate items with the ANU School of Art for an exhibition. And we have other collections and institutions interested in holding items on our behalf.
By Dwayne Lennox — thelennoxfiles.blogspot.com.au
Ryan Phillippe is glad you’ll finally get to see his 54 gay kiss scene — and so are we!
THE DIRECTOR’S CUT NOW WITH ADDED GAYNESS! During the halcyon days of disco in 1970s New York, there was no better place to be than Studio 54. A club operated by Steve Rubell, it was the centre of the universe — and Manhattan’s party scene – for the famous and the social elite, gay and straight. That’s the time and spirit which writer director Mark Christopher hoped to evoke in his film 54. But in spite of a sexy cast — Ryan Phillippe, Salma Hayek, and Neve Campbell, with Mike Myers as Rubell — and a thumping disco soundtrack, what Mark Christopher envisioned and what audiences saw were two very different films.
Mike Myers played the part of Steve Rubell in the movie 54, much to Rubell’s relatives’ protest after the movie portrayed him as an overly sleazy gay man and an alcoholic junkie with mob connections.
Not well received by critics at the time, 54 has became a curio and somewhat of a cult classic. But just like disco, you can’t keep a good bitch down, and now 54 has been re-cut and re-released just the way Mark Christopher intended it to be seen. With 36 minutes of restored footage, including an onscreen kiss between Phillippe and Meyer (actually Meyer’s first-ever screen kiss), the new version of 54 (now titled 54: The Director’s Cut lest you have any doubts) is closer to Christopher’s vision and a redemption of sorts; the director having made just one other feature since. Speaking to Variety ahead of the restored 54’s world premiere at the Berlin Film Festival back in February this year, Christopher was diplomatic about the experience. “I’m holding no grudges. I wouldn’t still be working in this business if I was still so wounded as that. Bad things happen to everyone in Hollywood, so you have to just keep moving.”
Released in 1998, 54 is probably best remembered today for giving us the dance hit If You Could Read My Mind (performed by Stars on 54), although for a generation of young gay men, a constantly shirtless Phillippe was also a highlight; manna from heaven for those coming to terms with their sexuality, and definitely one for the ‘spank bank’.
54 was released by Miramax, then owned by Disney and operated by the Weinsteins, Harvey and Bob. In that same year, the Weinsteins produced the Best Picture Oscar winner Shakespear in Love and two years previously won the same award for The English Patient. Harvey Weinstein, a producer passionate in support of his films and directors, is also notorious for being hands-on with the films he produces. After miserable screen tests for 54, cuts and re-shoots were ordered: the film was released minus its gay themes and most of its homoerotic elements, specifically between Phillippe and Brecken Meyer. 36
Ryan Phillippe’s gay make out scene in 54 will soon be available for your viewing on DVD & Blu-ray. FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU
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THE WORLD AVERAGE FOR AN ERECT PENIS IS 13.12CM AND THE AVERAGE LENGTH OF A FLACCID PENIS IS 9.16CM.
THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT 2.3
IN A STUDY PUBLISHED IN THE JOURNAL OF SEXUAL MEDICINE 30% OF GUYS REPORTED DISSATISFACTION WITH THEIR SIZE.
RESEARCHERS HAVE FOUND NO CORRELATION BETWEEN A MAN’S FOOT SIZE AND THE LENGTH OF HIS MANHOOD.
ONLY 2.3% OF THE MALE POPULATION HAS AN ABNORMALLY SMALL PENIS, AND THE SAME PERCENTAGE HAS A MONSTER IN THEIR PANTS!
THE SOCIETY FOR PLASTIC SURGERY FOUND GERMANY HAS THE MOST PENIS ENLARGEMENT PROCEDURES IN THE WORLD AT 18%.
A STUDY PUBLISHED IN THE JOURNAL ARCHIVES OF SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR FOUND GAY MENS ERECT PENISES WERE ALMOST 1CM BIGGER THAN THE AVERAGE STRAIGHT GUYS.
THANKS TO A NEW ANALYSIS OF MORE THAN 15,000 APPENDAGES AROUND THE GLOBE, THE ENDURING QUESTION ‘WHAT IS THE AVERAGE SIZE OF A PENIS’ NOW HAS A DEFINITIVE ANSWER!
The findings should help “reassure the large majority of men that the size of their penis is in the normal range,” said the researchers.
After measuring the manhood of more than 15,000 guys between 17-91 around the globe a British research team has reported that the world average length of a flaccid penis is 9.16cm, whereas the average length of an erect penis is 13.12cm.
The team said their work was the first to combine all existing data on penis length and girth into a definitive graph and felt the information may be useful for reassuring men worried about their size. Doctors may also use the graph to help men find well-fitting condoms, said the team.
It was also found that in reality, only 2.3% of guys have an abnormally small penis, and that the same percentage of men have a monster in their pants.
It was also interesting to see that the researchers did not find any evidence of a correlation between a man’s foot size with the length of his manhood.
The team used the collated numbers to devise a special graph that doctors can now use in counselling men with “small penis anxiety”. In the worst cases, men may be diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which is a debilitating psychological condition that can lead to obsessive and anti-social behaviour, depression and even suicide.
CANBERRA GAY AND LESBIAN QWIRE & IN FULL SWING
DOING IT THEIR WAY TWO OF CANBERRA’S LONGEST RUNNING MUSICAL COMMUNITY GROUPS, CANBERRA GAY AND LESBIAN QWIRE AND IN FULL SWING RECENTLY JOINED FORCES FOR AN UNFORGETTABLE NIGHT OF JAZZ. Qwire and In Full Swing have been playing music in and around the Canberra region for over twenty years. More than 80 members, including a 20 piece band, took to the stage to present a night of jazz, featuring timeless hits such as ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’, ‘Feeling Good’, and ‘My Way’. From the opening number ‘Somebody to Love’ to the final encore, audience members were captivated by the energy in the room. The nights performances included some fantastic solo pieces from both Qwire members and In Full Swing musicians, enhanced with some entertaining choreography.
Temperatures were running hot as the audience took to the dance floor to the band’s uptempo groove, with the help of the vibrant moves of the Canberra Swing Katz. The high spirits of the evening were enhanced by the announcement earlier in the day of the US Supreme Court’s ruling in favour of same sex marriage. Qwire will be performing at a number of community events over the coming months and their end of year concert will once again feature as part of the SpringOut calendar on 21 November 2015. Head to our website at canberraqwire.org.au for more information.
A Little Laser
Cosmetic Laser Clinic Jennifer Dromgold is the owner of a new boutique laser clinic A Little Laser in Manuka. She provides safe, fast, high end medical grade treatments at affordable prices. Hair removal and skin rejuvenation treatments for people of all skin types. Jennifer’s experience in providing clinical and laser treatments spans over 10 years. Jennifer has clients ranging from gay boys who want to be ultra smooth to people in the trans* community who need a professional clinic that understands their needs. “As somebody that supports and understands the needs of trans* people I’m very keen to offer my services and help individuals look and feel better. I am excited and proud to be able to offer my clients individual treatment plans and give them the time they deserve in a boutique style clinic. I enjoy building an honest relationship with my clients and love having the opportunity to help people achieve results with their individual concerns.”
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WHETHER YOU ARE
GAY LESBIAN BISEXUAL TRANS QUEER STRAIGHT OR EVEN SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN?
YOUR SEXUAL HEALTH MATTERS! Take charge of your sexual health and wellbeing Visit our website at shfpact.org.au where you’ll find heaps of information — or make an appointment at the SHFPACT clinic by calling 02 6247 3077 • STI and HIV screening, checks and advice • Male, female and trans reproductive and sexual health services • Info and resources on sexually transmitted diseases • Safe sex education and advice • Sexual difficulties and contraception services • Education and training programs • Pap Smears and HPV Vaccine • Services for people with disabilities
SEXUAL HEALTH AND FAMILY PLANNING ACT
The SHFPACT clinic is located at Level 1, 28 University Ave, Canberra City. We offer a holistic, confidential and respectful service. Call 02 6247 3077 or email email@example.com to make an appointment. More at shfpact.org.au 43
Proud to create change in schools
Change is coming The Safe Schools Coalition is dedicated to making schools safer and more inclusive for same sex attracted, intersex and gender diverse young people. We are creating change to ensure that every student and every teacher in every school has access to a safe and inclusive learning environment. If you would like your school to be part of the Safe Schools Coalition, it’s free. By joining us, you are committing to building a school that is free from homophobic and transphobic bullying, that’s safe and inclusive for all students and staff. For more information contact Erin Smith on 6163 3438 or email firstname.lastname@example.org Delivered by
Nationally convened by
The Safe Schools Coalition Australia is federally funded by the Australian Government Department of Education and Training.
A regular cervical screening test could save your life As it helps to prevent cervical cancer – even if you have received a vaccina�on for HPV For more informa�on phone 131 556 (cost of a local call)
© Australian Capital Territory, Canberra www.health.act.gov.au | www.act.gov.au | Enquiries: Canberra 13ACT1 or 132281
YOUR HOROSCOPE SEPTEMBER & OCTOBER 2015
By Melisa Sandfort
It’s good news — the next couple of months are going to be full of positive forces. In early September Venus is going direct and that means lots of wonderfully romantic and sexual energies are going to manifest throughout our lives. Enjoy the fun and remember to always be mindful of your behaviour. Mercury goes retrograde towards the end of September. This is the perfect time for personal reflection, re-evaluation of your life and direction. Use it wisely and the payoff will be positive.
January 21 – February 18 September is going to offer some amazing opportunities for your romance and sex. Prepare yourself, in particular work on your creativity when it comes to pampering that special someone. Tip: Organisation will be important if you want to achieve your goals.
April 21 – May 21 By the beginning of September Jupiter is going to be there for you, so let its energy guide you especially when it comes to making any important health related decisions. Tip: Enjoy the people around you! Show your loved ones how much you care about them.
July 23 – August 23 October is going to be your “me-month”, so ensure you make some time to pamper yourself and rest when you need it. Family and spiritual health will take precedence over career for the next month. Tip: Try saving some money in September, it may come in handy.
October 24 – November 22 September is going to be a good month to re-evaluate and possibly re-organise aspects of your life that are not working. However, by mid October you should try letting go of control and let the Universe guide you. Tip: All good things come to those who are patient.
February 19 – March 20 During October great things in your work area may happen — keep focused. You’re a very selfless person Pisces, and your reward will come when you least expect it, so hang in there! Tip: It will be important to take care of your health and eat well.
May 22 – June 21 Work may have been a bit harsh recently, so let things flow as it will pass — take your time to re-evaluate your situation. Life may be hectic during September with some major transformations at home. Tip: Don’t let gossip ruin a good friendship.
August 24 – September 23 Work and/or study is looking positive and achieving goals will be easier than usual. During September, Mercury is going to give you some extra energy and this will manifest itself in your personal life. Tip: Watch the tone in which you say things to others.
November 23 – December 22 Exciting things are heading your way during September. You may have to make a decision regarding the direction you want your love life to go. Tip: Listen to your heart, sometimes thinking too much does not help make the right decision.
March 21 – April 20 September will be excellent for relationships, couples will attract love and look for harmony. September and October might also bring a few surprises to you, particularly in the work area. Tip: Don’t limit yourself by thinking narrowly.
June 22 – July 22 September is going to be a good month for you and this should boost your motivation in all aspects of life. Don’t over think things, it’s time to be decisive and to act quickly. Tip: Listen to your family’s advice, they might have something important for you to hear.
September 24 – October 23 Don’t miss any opportunities that may arise during October, no matter how tired you are — this is not going to be a month to rest. It is time to take some chances in improving your life. Tip: Be active; if you don’t have the time to workout at least take a long walk in the evenings.
December 23 – January 20 The beginning of October is going to be perfect for you, if you allow yourself to be guided. Know your goals and the direction you want your life to head, because it’s time to go for it. Follow your heart and let the Universe guide you. Tip: Travel more often. STARGAZER
CANBERRA COMMUNITY DIRECTORY
AIDS Action Council The AIDS Action Council provides information, support and services. aidsaction.org.au A Gender Agenda A resource for transgender, intersex, gender queer and gender variant people. genderrights.org.au ACTQueer A free email list for LGBTI people in Canberra and surrounding region. groups.yahoo.com/group/actqueer Bit Bent Youth Group Meet other young people, get support or just hang out. Mondays at Belconnen Youth Centre 6pm–8pm and Thursdays at the Woden Youth Centre 5pm–6.30pm. Email: email@example.com Canberra Gay & Lesbian QWIRE Want to be involved with Canberra’s own gay and lesbian choir? Singers and non-singers encouraged. More info: canberraqwire.org.au
Cube Nightclub Canberra’s Premier Gay and Lesbian (LGBTIQ) Dance Venue. Historically, Cube has been renowned within the Canberra gay community for its mellow, liberating environment and loving atmosphere. Thursday to Saturday 10pm-5am Sundays 10pm until late 33 Petrie Plaza Civic, Canberra City. cubenightclub.com.au Diversity ACT A LGBTI community and service centre, for more information visit diversityact.org.au PFLAG-ACT A support and friendship group for parents and friends of LGBTI people. More info email firstname.lastname@example.org OUTBIZ LGBTI Business Network Connect with other like-minded people, expand your business, find new customers or suppliers, network and support the LGBTI business community. Email email@example.com
Ranch Men’s Lounge Canberra’s mens’ space at Fantasy Lane is located at Unit 19, Molongo Mall in Fyshwick ACT. It’s a safe venue for men who want to meet men. Open 7 days. Call 02 6239 1600. mustangranch.com.au Relationships Australia Canberra Region Do you need a counsellor or a relationship mediator? RACR provide services in a friendly and respectful way for all members of our communities. Call 1300 364 277. racr.relationships.org.au The Phoenix Pub The most friendly pub in Canberra. Supporting equality, the GLBTI community and the right to drink beer since 1993. lovethephoenix.com Tilley’s Devine Cafe For over 30 years, Tilley’s has been a gathering place for the LGBTI community. Warm and sumptuous, it’s famous for its food, fabulous coffees and cake. Cnr of Wattle & Brigalow Sts, Lyneham. Telephone 02 6247 7753.
Want more? Visit the Canberra GLBTI Business & Community Directory at fusemagazine.com.au/directory
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Make sure you never miss a copy, subscribe today from our website and we will deliver FUSE directly to your box for only $8 per issue.
If you are thinking of suicide
u you tr
o Talk t Avoid being alone Set yo urself small go
Supporting someone who is feeling suicidal hey erson ifuticide p e h t k s A ing of s are think
Spend time with them Make s ongoingure they receive support
FOR SUICIDE PREVENTION www.health.act.gov.au/suicideprevention Lifeline Ph: 13 11 14 | www.lifeline.org.au
You can recognise the signs ed changes? Have you notic
Has someone you kn ow withdrawn from ac tivities? Hav thingesthey stop that t ped do hey e njoy?ing the
To help those left behind Be a friend
Listen, keep in touch Give them time 47
EMAIL DEAR ROSE WITH YOUR PROBLEM
By Rose Pappalardo
Dear Rose, My girlfriend and I want to buy a house together. My parents feel it’s too early in our relationship. What do you think? MJ
Dear MJ, It’s natural for your parents to be concerned for your welfare especially when it comes to a big commitment of buying a house, whether it is with a girlfriend or with anyone else. The good thing about buying property is there are legal rules with the ability to protect you and your GF financially. My best advice in order to allay their fears and to make sure that everyone knows where they stand is to seek separate legal advice about what happens if something goes wrong. It could be that in the event of you breaking up that you both agree to move out and the house then becomes an investment property. A solicitor will provide you with factual advice that will make it crystal clear where everyone stands. By doing this, you are listening to your parent’s concerns, respecting and protecting your new GF and protecting your own financial future.
Dear Rose, Grindr! It seems to be an obsession with my partner. He say’s I’m worrying about nothing… “I’m just chatting and flirting, it’s fun… I’d never actually hook up with anyone”. But I do worry and I feel his energy should be going in my direction instead of other guys. Am I just being old fashioned? Jeff
Dear Jeff, I can see why it would tick you off if your BF is obsessed with Grindr! Unfortunately there are few things you can actually do about it. You can’t ban or limit his use of it, as he will more than likely do it behind your back anyway. More importantly, as he is an adult, this may create a trust issue in your relationship. What you can do is communicate your concerns about the energy Grindr it is taking away from your relationship. Take a different approach and ask yourself, why he is obsessed with Grindr. Is it that your BF is bored in the relationship? Is it time for you both to re-engage with your relationship? Confronting these types of issues in relationship are uncomfortable because we have been taught that after we find our “prince” we then live happily ever after. The reality is relationships grow and change, we need to be wise in working at them long after the honeymoon has faded.
Dear Rose, I first saw your column and FUSE Magazine at DENDY and I have a question which I think you can help me with. My son who is only 7 years had his friend stay for a sleep over recently. The next morning I found that they were both cuddling in the same bed. When I asked the boys why, my son exclaimed ‘we’re boy friends’. Can a child of 7 years possibly know anything about being gay? Leanne
Dear Leanne, There are many people who have admitted they have known from as early as 5 they were gay. At 9, I had a sense there was something different about me, but didn’t put the pieces together until my late 20’s. As a parent you know there is no handbook for children on anything. From sleeping patterns through to academic prowess. So do I think your son may identify as being gay? Maybe or maybe not. It could be your son is an incredibly affectionate, loyal and loving creature declaring that this is “his mate” and the term “boyfriends” is a logical way for him to express this. In today’s world where men and boys are still only encouraged to be “blokey”, it’s nice to know that perhaps the next generation of boys will not be afraid of being affectionate with their mates.
Those who condemn gay marriage, yet are silent or indifferent to the breakdown of marriage and divorce are, in my view, missing the real issue. Malcolm Turnbull is the Minister for Communications and Federal Member for Wentworth.
Need help or someone to talk to? Support is available for anyone in distress by phoning (24 Hours) QLife 1800 184 527, Lifeline on 13 11 14 or AAC counselling services on 02 6257 2855. If you require relationship support or services call Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277
ASK DEAR ROSE 48
If you need help or have a question email : firstname.lastname@example.org
THE AIDS ACTION COUNCIL
WHILE WESTLUND HOUSE HAS BEEN A BIG PART OF OUR HISTORY AND GROWTH OVER THE LAST TWO DECADES, OUR NEW HOME WILL GIVE US THE SECURITY OF A LONG-TERM LEASE AND BE MORE ACCESSIBLE FOR OUR MANY CLIENTS, MEMBERS AND STAKEHOLDERS.
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Havelock House (Gould Street Entrance) 85 Northbourne Avenue, Turner ACT Call: 02 6257 2855 • Email: email@example.com • Online: aidsaction.org.au
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Love is a verb. In this issue of FUSE we look at how you can create rich and enduring relationships, we catch up with X-Factor star Hayley T...
Published on Aug 23, 2015
Love is a verb. In this issue of FUSE we look at how you can create rich and enduring relationships, we catch up with X-Factor star Hayley T...