TURNING MY LIFE AND WILL OVER TO THE CARE OF GOD BY EMILY JENKS
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hen Reverend Brady asked me to share my testimony in worship a couple of months ago, I wasn’t sure where to even begin. 1) How was God at work in my life before I knew it? 2) How has following Jesus “saved” me? 3) What area of my life is God currently remaking? Suddenly, the thoughts started to pour out…God was at work in my life from the moment I took my first breath. He blessed me with two incredible parents who have shown me the true meaning of unconditional love. God placed me in a loving home environment where church was a regular occurrence and special moments like baptism, first communion and confirmation were full of love and guidance. Even though I was supported by an incredible family with a strong faith and honest morals…somewhere along the way I lost sight of God’s will for me, and I started living a life full of self will instead.
Emily and Dylan Jenks with their fur baby, Wilson.
It didn’t matter if I had a college paper due. It didn’t matter if my true friends wanted to catch up over coffee. Drugs came first. I was completely lost. I had lost myself in my addiction and I didn’t think there was a way out. Looking back, the answer is SO clear. Even during those 5 years, when I was using drugs, stealing from loved ones, lying to anyone that walked into my life, God never left my side. He was working through my
During those years, if you would have asked me the question, “how is God at work in your life?” there is no way I could have answered this question, simply because I didn’t believe He was in my life. How could He be in my life? I viewed myself as a bad person. At the age of 19, I started to go through moments of insecurity, fear and resentment…these moments led me to be dishonest. The lies would result in me stealing from my parents. The money they would give me for sorority fees and college textbooks, I would take and spend on drugs. The reality of the life I was living was a complete lie, and this quickly led me to a feeling of guilt, shame and remorse. Instead of leaning on God, my family, and my faith…I found myself relying on drugs and alcohol. This short-term solution of using drugs to feel some sort of relief lasted for 5 long years. During those years, if you would have asked me the question, “how is God at work in your life?” there is no way I could have answered this question, simply because I didn’t believe He was in my life. How could He be in my life? I viewed myself as a bad person. All those honest morals my parents had raised me with–I had completely abandoned. I was a selfish, dishonest and inconsiderate person. In all reality, I was a drug addict. It didn’t matter if my Mom wanted to spend quality time with me.
parents who never gave up on me. He was working through friends and people in the community who prayed for me. He was there…He was just waiting for me to surrender to Him. And finally, that day came. On Sunday February 17, 2013 I made the decision to get sober. You might be wondering, “what led me to this decision?" Well, I see it as God. God was doing for me what I could not do for myself. I was caught. The truth about the reality of my life came to surface. And for the first time in 5 years, I could not come up with another lie. I could not steal another valuable item from a loved one to support my addiction. I could not walk into another pawn shop. On that Sunday morning, I had this sense of complete defeat. I was done. And I wanted a way out. God was at work in my life, in this very moment through my parents. They never left my side. In fact, my dad is also an alcoholic. He got sober on August 12, 1991. To this day, my dad has 28 years of continuous sobriety. (Continued on page 12)
Fall 2019 | www.firstmethodist.org | 930north
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