Odyssey

There was always a YOU first. Start your investment there.

Who I was as an individual, after the Marine Corps, was a mystery even to myself. The last 10-years had been solely about the Marine Corps with very little personal investment.

I understood that I was accomplished and that I was valuable—I just didn’t understand why. What I did know was that I was still a Marine, wife, and mom, although I was unsure of who I was as an individual or how I could contribute.

The Marine Corps had taught me how to fall in and take a position to benefit the team, but now my team was solely my family and it was up to me to take the lead and whatever responsibilities came with that role.

At the end of the day, it didn’t really matter who I was, as long as I was in the matrix and performing a grind that provided the necessities for my team to thrive and survive. My family was relying on me.

As my three children started to age into adolescence and I suddenly had more free time, I found myself idle, purposeless, and depressed. I would look in the mirror, completely unrecognizable. I had poor eating routines, I still wasn’t sleeping regularly (13-years post-Iraq) and my petite frame was a sloppy 185 lbs.

I was suffering and bottling up everything internally, and it was starting to show through negative physical attributes.

Even the work that I was doing in Veteran advocacy was taking its toll on me. I was burnt out and in need of a fresh start.

I had so much resentment building from working in veteran advocacy. I was tired of the cycle and I knew there were better ways to approach solving veteran issues.

I had tried them with cohorts.

I had implemented and deployed these tactics on my own time with partnered resources and with veterans. I had volunteered to serve.

I was frustrated that the state veteran resources community was happy to use me for services to help fill gaps but they didn’t want to listen to my assessments, results, or ideas on how to improve allocated veteran transition resources.

I could be their workhorse however, that was where they wanted my efforts to end.

I challenged their status quo and I asked for accountability but it only got me thrown out of the “in” crowd.

I was actually relieved, and I felt free for the first time in a long time. Even though I didn’t know where my next paycheck was coming from, I still had my integrity.

The honor, courage, and commitment ethos from the Marine Corps disallowed me to fall in line this time and I started to feel the fire inside of me that would lead me to learn just who in fact I really am and how I am meant to serve.

As human beings, we are designed to make mistakes. I, too, know it’s easier to fall into the fold and pretend that you don’t see rotten things spoiling around you, but eventually, the smell is too pungent and it will permeate everything around you until you actually dispose of it.

We are imperfect but we are worthy of grace. It is what we do after having learned the errors of our ways that define us; not the mistake or error itself. My favorite Oprah Winfrey quote is, “When you know better, you do better.”

At 42-years-old, I am finally proud of myself. I am constantly examining the errors in my judgment and improving myself through immersive learning. I am facing my fears head-on and re-falling in love with myself.

I have freed myself from believing that there is only one way to live, thrive, and survive. There is real power in always doing the right thing whether you benefit or not and there is real power standing up on your own and being brave enough to stand alone if you must.

My journey is nowhere near complete; however, I do know that after extracting the world around me and its judgment from my purview, I have been able to be exceptionally intentional with the fulfillment of my passions, purposes, and desires.

That fulfillment has led me to some pretty impressive tribes and with tribal wraparound support, there isn’t much you can’t do.

I am a multi-ethnic woman progressive Marine veteran politico mom of three, human advocate, storyteller, writeHER, and much more to come…There was always a YOU first. Start your investment there.

Joanna Sweatt

U S M A R I N E C O R P S

Joanna is a champion for change and gives a voice to veterans in the political space. She served in the USMC for 10 years, currently lives in Arizona, and is a co-founder of Vets Forward. www.vetsforward.us