FRAY FALL 2021 ISSUE 2

FRAY issue 2

Fall 2021

Finding bacChanalia Stepping into the second iteration of Fray Magazine, we had a clearer roadmap.

Less than a year ago, Fray was only a figment of our imagination. Meetings took place over Zoom and projects were safely executed outdoors. Despite all of these constraints, our first publication was a success.

Conversations turned into projects, and the fashion community felt alive at Wesleyan.

For our first publication, we supported over seventy collaborators and twenty projects. While we want Fray to continue to define itself with time, we hope to always be a platform that supports and showcases the work of student designers. And we aim to represent a more inclusive version of fashion.

Believing strongly in these facets has enabled us to focus on other parts of Fray this Fall. We wanted to play with a theme and see how that would lend a sense of cohesiveness to the publication. After taking a group-wide vote, we landed on Bacchanalia/Carnival for our Fall 2021 theme. We let the imbued chaos and playfulness of the theme inspire and welcome a wide range of projects. Whether it is a written article or a photoshoot, each project feels mildly frisky, forcing readers to push the boundaries of what they consider to be fashion.

Embodying a carnival of sorts, we also experimented with layout for this edition. Finding solace in our newness as a publication, we decided to switch mediums.

No tradition for what always has been done was holding us down.

Rather than operating Fray on Wix, we wanted this issue to feel more like a traditional magazine: with pages, an index, and the limit of only being able to read from front to back. Who knows what we will do next time.

With Love, The Fray Team

So welcome to imagination, Where d

o the carnival: where chaos, and revelry run wild. do you want to go?

OUR Team Zoe Zelken

Editor - In - Chief

Digital Managing Editor

Elsa Dupuy d'Angeac

Board of Directors

Ruby Baden-Lasar

Laurel Golbourne

Leslie Rosario Olivo

Junior Layout Editors

Photographers

Aaron Foote Jacob Gale Olivia Kaplan Maya O'connor Meg RubEnstein Sarah Scholsberg Siggy Soriano

Bella Amenta Chloé De Montgolfier Elsa Dupuy d'Angeac Jacob Gale Siggy Soriano

COLLABORATORS Eleanor Anderson

Gabrielle Baba-Conn Alec Black

Xandra Chen

Alphina Kamara

Diya Kuwelker

Megan Koenigsberg

Layla Krantz

Rob Moderelli

Kathryn Machanic Alejandra Sanchez

Io Perl-Strahm Kate Sheran

Tess Solot-Kehl

Jasmin Wong

CONTENTS Most Real Freak shows, Forests, and Fashion

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A Real Picture of Style

The Ethics of Fast Fashion Come Play With Me Visualizing the Mind Three Hot, Sexy Ladies in Your Area Flash Tattoos Reclamation The Wes Effect Ode To Childhood I Have a Headache Love Letter To The Gems Of This Campus Heaven Is A Stage and I'm The Performer In The Club

Most Real

Illustrations. Edits, and Designs

by Io Perl-Strahan with inspirational credit to those noted

Photographer Harrison Haft Models Xandra Chen Emmett Levy Hazel Milborn Laurel Goulbourne Chris Simé

The Ethereal Xandra Chen gracing us in kitten heels and Comme des Garçons fall/winter 1992

The Dashing Emmett Levy displaying a suit of alien design and sinister intent

The entrancing Hazel Milborn and her goblin pupils wearing New Balance 530’s and an outfit inspired by Barragán Spring 2021

The Inimitable Laurel Goulbourne in Puma Eskivas and a dress inspired

by Betsey Johnson Fall/Winter 1997

The beguiling Chris Simé in Harley Davidson Break Buckle Boots, again and again but never enough

FREAK SHOWS, FORESTS,AND FASHION Creative Director Eleanor Anderson

Photographer Elsa Dupuy d'Angeac

Models Lily Eddleman

April Schwartz Sadie Goldstein Theo Dolan Clara Martin

THE MISCHIEVOUS MASTER OF CEREMONIES AND HER FURRY ASSISTANT

THE FANTASTIC FEATHERED WOMAN

THE MASKED SWORDS-MAN

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ALIVE

A REAL PICTURE OF STYLE AN INTERVIEW WITH JOHNNY CIRILLO, THE MAN BEHIND @WATCHINGNEWYORK

BY ZOE ZELKEN

Photographer by day, yogurt lover and consisiour by night, Johnny Cirillo is the epitome of a Greenpoint Brooklyner. He even has the mustache and beard to prove it.

Taking inspiration from expert street style photographer, Bill Cunningham, Cirillo began his street style Instagram account five years ago.

For an account that specializes in “seeing” other folks, Cirillo is largely absent from his own account. Perhaps that is part of its allure; the man behind the camera could be anyone. Couldn’t it? Well, not exactly.

Cirillo does have a clear lens, when it comes to fashion. “I am a photographer at heart. My wife is the fashion girl. She is in charge of what makes it on the page. We are a good combo. I like to take photos of what looks good. Cool clothes add to the scene; but my wife is the one that tells me what makes it one the page.I like to think of fashion as the gear. Maybe I should change my IG bio from fashion to style.

Style is the creative part of fashion. It is what you do with the clothes that makes it unique."

Are style and fashion the same thing? Or, is style fashion’s greatest enemy? Do these two fight or support one another? Cirilo’s photos provoke powerful questions. His account is more than just a fashion page.

It is just as much a photography page.

And, by merging these art forms we locate why the fashion industry is a peculiar one.

There are so many players that go into style, and there are few players in high fashion. Those few players receive most of the credit, declaring them as creating the industry.

Through

photography,

Cirillo

fights this norm.

And he will go through great lengths. He finds himself in unique spaces. Though some might have thought that he would have to “hide”

himself

to

capture

candid

photos,

Cirillo is actually hiding from something else, and it is extraterrestrial. “If there is sun I have to be in a building. Yes, I am hiding in a sense but I am hiding from the sun. Depending on where the shadows are I will try to line myself up directly to the person I am photographing. I will run up six blocks or so if I have to get the shot I want. After I get a picture I will run up to the person and ask them if it is ok if I include them on the account.”

Maybe it does not need to be said, but gaining consent is a necessity for each and

every

one

of

Cirillo’s

photos.

“Williamsburg has a high yes ratio. It is very young and very casual.”

Watching New York makes one feel like the city that never sleeps is only comprised of

twenty

somethings.

“People

complain

that there are not enough older people on the account, but older folks often say no to being posted. They don’t want an Instagram presence.”

Fusing the “virtual life” with the “real life” might be one of Cirillo’s greatest talents.

Scrolling through his IG page, you feel like

you

know

every

outfit.

your

own

the

people

Perhaps,

in

you

conception

each

even

of

and

create

New

York.

Everyone is walking somewhere, bonded by the NYC streets. It is not voyeuristic. Might Watching New York even qualify as an act of community building? “The best sidewalk showstopper outfit? I need a second to think. Darnell would have to be my answer.

He is my friend now. He is always dressed to

impress.

He

is

a

genius

at

putting

thrifted pieces together. He makes them look

outrageously

incredible.

I

kept

posting about him and I did not want the account

to

be

the

Darnell

show,

so

I

decided to make one big 10 slide IG post about him.”

Darnell’s exemplifies

Watching one

of

New the

York most

story

beautiful

aspects of New York. Strangers on the street

have

the

potential

to

become

friends you see time and time again; you find your small town in the big city. The style

followers

find

on

Watching

New

York is an extension of how Cirillo views the city. “I like to think I represent the inclusive melting pot nature of New York City.

The

something

account happening

is in

looked NYC,

so

at it

as is

important that it is a fair representation.

What do I see in New York exactly? A lot of religions, a lot of colors, a lot of ethnicities. “

Darnell

It should not be of surprise that Watching New York grew rapidly over the past Covid19 year. At a time when folks were longing to wear their favorite outfit, Cirillo managed to give people just that outlet and reward people with what actually might be the best possible gift: the gift of being seen. “It takes courage to wear certain clothing. Sometimes all you need is a push. When people that I photograph recognize me, it also feels really nice. I get 5-10 messages a day from people saying it is “their dream” to be on the page. I don’t take that lightly. I appreciate that. “ The photos on Watching New York are powerful; they move people and they can ultimately move the direction of fashion in a more inclusive direction. Fashion’s future lives in accounts like Cirillos. While Cirillo finds that it is impossible to predict the exact direction fashion's future will take, he knows that “a big part of the future is the relatability aspect. Fashion’s future needs to look like actual people. “While I have nothing against high fashion, we are way too used to seeing supermodels who are wearing beautiful outfits, but those outfits are unrelatable in both style and price. When you see a human going to work, holding a cup of coffee, who pieced their outfit together for twenty dollars it is relatable and it makes people happy. “

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Creative Directors Gabrielle Baba-Conn Zoe Zelken

Photographer Elsa Dupuy d'Angeac

"Wild roses, " I said to them one morning. "do you have the answers? And if you do, would you tell me?" the roses laughed softly. "forgive us," they said. "but as you can see, we are just now entirely busy being roses."

- mary oliver, roses

\

\

Models: Gabrielle Baba-Conn, Laia Comas, Liz Woolford, Michayla Robertson-Pine, Ellis Collier

THE ETHICS OF FAST FASHION

The most common concern surrounding fast fashion involves its effects on the environment. Many consumers are deterred by the unethical production processes, leading them to ultimately reject fast fashion brands.

The massproduction of these garments amounts to about 10% of humanity’s total carbon emissions. Fast fashion also affects the environment exceeding post-production stages.

FINDING GREENER AND MORE SUSTAINABLE SOLUTIONS TO DRESSING IN STYLE WRITTEN BY KATE SHERAN EDITED BY MIA FOSTER

Over the past two decades, stores like Forever 21 and Zaful have revolutionized fashion by providing chic styles at affordable prices to all consumers. These brands are part of an industry known as “fast fashion,” a term for clothes that are produced efficiently and cheaply and sold at consumer-friendly prices.

This industry may sound like the perfect solution for everyone to be able to afford the clothes they want and express themselves without worrying about expenses, but, the negatives outweigh the positives. Fast fashion is problematic due to the environmental and economic impacts, which lead to global challenges such as drastically increased carbon emissions, excess clothing littering landfills, and the implementation of cheap labor.

Annually, 85% of all textiles end up in landfills, eventually making their way into oceans and other ecosystems. Thus, fast fashion is not only detrimental to humans, but also to flora and fauna. Studies show that the fast fashion industry is responsible for emitting 1.2 billion CO2 tons a year. Adding to this burden, consumers have become increasingly quick to discard old clothing each year. The fashion industry is constantly unveiling new styles that phase out rapidly in today’s fast-paced society, so people find little use for clothes no longer representative of the current trends, resulting in a short shelf life and quick disposal.

Factory workers suffer as well, receiving low wages for endless hours of work in hazardous conditions. Fast fashion brands rely heavily on outsourcing from suppliers unaffiliated with the brands themselves. For this reason, these brands are not legally obligated to ensure safe and equitable working conditions in their lower levels of production. What can we do to curb the desire for fast fashion?

The simplest solution is to wear what you already have.

While there may be a stigma around being an “outfit repeater,” instead it’s a bold way of saying that you care about the wellbeing of garment makers and the environment. But what about when we want to buy new clothes? Shop locally!

Buy from small businesses, thrift stores, and even yard sales in order to save money and help the environment. Websites like Depop are also great ways to find a wide variety of items at low prices and even recycle your own clothes. I personally love buying clothes second hand because they feel livedin with unique stories woven into their fabric–far more interesting than a brandnew pair of $70 jeans from Urban Outfitters.

Buying locally or second hand is a great alternative to shopping fast fashion, but if you don’t like the clothes in these stores, you can make your own! I have some experience in refurbishing old clothes and making them from scratch, and it is incredibly rewarding to wear a clothing item that was made yourself. Since fast fashion has large-scale impacts, it is crucial to get involved in this crisis politically, as well. By checking out the website below, you can help sign petitions and learn about resources in order to push for garment workers’ equity and environmental sustainability.

Even though thrifting and reselling clothes seems like a perfect solution, there are many factors to consider in order to thrift ethically. The main purpose of thrift stores is to provide people in low income situations with reasonably priced clothes they may not have been able to afford in new conditions.

When wealthier people begin to buy these items, the supply of available clothing cannot account for the demand of it by the indigent. It is important to save more substantial items–winter coats, shoes, and weatherproof clothes–for those who couldn’t otherwise afford them. If you do choose to thrift, try to avoid massive hauls of clothing as seen on social media, which encourages the cycle of overconsumption that fast fashion helps instill in consumers, and continue the cycle by selling your old clothes to thrift stores to replenish the supply!

The overuse of fast fashion is a problem that has both individual and global effects, but by slowing down and thinking about our effects on people and the planet, we can ensure a greener, more equitable future.

Creative Director: Ruby Baden Lasar Designer: Tess Solot-Kehl Photographer: Elsa Dupuy d'Angeac Make-Up Artists: Ruby Levitin and Alex Weidenfeld Models: Oliver Egger, Milly Church, Tobias Matz, Alex Weidenfeld, and Sophia Admokom

This series hopes to capture the conflicting and complementary private and public celebrations of Bacchanalia. One design, the public celebration, shows jesters and ferris wheels; symbols associated with humor and adolescence. The print constitutes the childish, naive, and comedic definition of “come play with me”.

The other design, the private celebration, illustrates the release of sexual tensions while the phrasing of “come play with me” stays the same, Coupled with the images, the message becomes deviant and sensual.

VISUALIZING THE MIND A SERIES OF INTERVIEWS

BY KATHRYN MACHANIC

This project aims to explore the many intersections between mental health and personal style. In my experience, style has operated as both a means of sublimating my mental experience and genuinely expressing it. I wanted to explore the possibilities of this interplay and discover what it means to different people. In a series of three interviews, Jada Reid, Siry Plume, and April Schwartz articulate the ways their mental health has shaped and been shaped by their sense of style and fashion culture.

Q: DO YOU FEEL DRAWN TO CLOTHING AS A MEDIUM OF EXPRESSION? Definitely. Both on a day to day basis, and when I’m shopping I’m like ‘hmm what do I want this to say about me when I wear it?” I never even thought about the possibility that it’s the opposite. Usually when I’m picking something to wear it has to do with how I’m feeling. It doesn’t happen very consciously, but it’s always there..

Q: HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONAL STYLE? Vibrant. Usually really comfortable. I don’t like tight clothes, so I would describe it as bright, aesthetically pleasing, but comfortable. I’m trying to get out of wearing jeans because I realized I don’t really like them all that much, but I really like soft material. It just feels really nice. And half of my shirts are crop tops, I love crop tops.

Q: WHAT DO YOU THINK THE ROLE OF JOY IS IN FASHION AND STYLE AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TO YOU? I For me it means comfortability. An ability to move in the way that you’re wanting to move in what you’re wearing and embodying the vibe that you want to embody. That feels joyful for me. I choose to wear vibrant clothes; I choose brightness. They also remind me of sunlight, which I love. So I think joy for me is wearing bright things, colorful things, that don’t necessarily match, but they feel good together.

I. JADA REID Jada Reid talks about the possibilities and challenges their gender identity, racial identity, and class positionality poses for their style. They aim to cultivate personally meaningful forms of selfexpression outside of white-centered beauty standards.

How are clothes an outlet for accessing memory and connection.

Q: DO YOU SEE CLOTHES MORE AS A WAY TO INDUCE A CERTAIN FEELING OR TO REFLECT HOW YOU’RE FEELING ALREADY? I think it's a mixture of both. I use it as a way to reflect how I’m feeling, but sometimes I’ll make an active decision to not wear something that reflects how I’m feeling in the hopes to make myself feel better. Sometimes if I’m particularly sad, wearing dark colors is very easy. If it’s gloomy outside I like wearing bright colors. I like being the brightest thing outside. Sometimes rainy days make me feel down, so I just bought some rain boots that are bright pink.

Q: DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’VE EVER HAD EITHER A STAGE IN YOUR LIFE OR MOMENTS IN YOUR LIFE WHERE THE SOCIAL PRESSURES AROUND FASHION HAVE NEGATIVELY AFFECTED YOUR MENTAL HEALTH? My hair was definitely something that really weighed on me in terms of how I’m presenting to other people, lt felt hyper-visible. And then being lowincome, that also made me feel hyper-visible. Could people tell that my clothes were older or that I had a stain?. Really minute things but they would feel really big. When I got to college and other spaces where I wasn't wearing uniforms, I started to panic a little because I was like, ‘ok now I actually have to come up with things to wear.’ I used to be really insecure about being low-income, and now I kind of don’t care, so I think freshman year it was freaking me out more. But now I’m just like, I love thrifting, I think it's really fun, and it’s even trendy now.

I also think that the phenomena of always feeling like you don’t have enough clothing really stresses me out. I’m really good at saving, but I’m also really bad at it. In the present moment I’m like ‘I need all of these things.’ So that actually does impact my mental health because I just convince myself that I don't have enough of anything, even though I do.

Being low-income I have a scarcity mindset. I know I have enough. If you can wear something tomorrow then you’re fine. I’ve been trying to be really good about not buying something unless I’m 110% sure that I want it. shopping stresses me out too.

Q: DO YOU FEEL LIKE THAT SHIFT IN CONFIDENCE AND EXPRESSION WAS MAINLY SELF-DRIVEN OR COMMUNITY-DRIVEN? I think to be honest I just saw other people wearing things that I thought were ugly, and so I was like, ‘ok if people are wearing things and they enjoy them....’ I also wouldn’t pay that much attention to what other people were wearing as much as I thought people would pay attention to me,. So If that is the case , why am I freaking out about this? Perhaps it was less of a community thing, and more of a ‘what can I wear to make myself feel good?’ My relationship with my style and gender has also changed a lot. I’ve watched myself go from wearing all baggy clothes and barely showing any body parts at all to wearing really tight clothes and being uncomfortable, and then finding a middle, and then wearing all black because my partner wears all black, all these things.

"SOMETIMES WHEN I'M NOT IN THE MOST GROUNDED HEADSPACE MY CLOTHES REFLECT WHAT I'M AROUND AND WHAT'S SEEPING INTO MY ENERGY FIELD."

II. SIRY PLUME

Q: HAS THAT ALWAYS BEEN THE CASE OR HAVE YOU EVOLVED INTO THAT? I definitely evolved since coming to Wesleyan. I feel like my style changed a lot since the pandemic Before, I would work with things that make me feel comfortable, but this year I’m exploring decorating myself. I work more with different types of clothes, like tank tops, gloves. I feel like there’s more diversity in my style now. I’m more willing to try different things.

II. SIRY PLUME Siry Plume talks about the positive mental health effects style can have when it operates as a means of self-expression and community-building. She also explores the negative side of appearance-based judgments and the detrimental mental health impact that occurs when style becomes a standard that needs to be upheld.

Q: HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONAL STYLE? Pretty specific. I like working with colors, combining different layers, sparkles. I would describe it as dreamy, like nature and the ocean. I like to bring people a sense of comfort when they see my style, or

'OH THAT FEELS LIKE FROM ANOTHER WORLD'.

Q: HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MENTAL HEALTH / YOUR OVERALL JOURNEY WITH MENTAL HEALTH? I’ve been dealing with a lot of stuff recently. In general, I feel like there’s always been a struggle with myself. Interacting with others makes me feel like I don’t know myself well. I feel like there’s so many parts of me that I need to know before that I didn’t even realize. I’m very much a people person, I like to get to know people. Ultimately what I struggle with is how to find myself within that, it is a hard process.

Q: DO YOU THINK CLOTHES HAVE BEEN A PART OF THAT PROCESS? For sure. I feel like clothes and makeup are a big part of who I am, I don’t know if that’s a good thing though.

I feel like sometimes when you’re being identified because of certain makeup you wear or clothes you wear, it can be a magical feeling. I have a friend who always wears glitter, and everyone recognizes her because of her glitter. I think it’s really magical. I feel like it’s the easiest way for me to change something about myself.

Q: DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU USE YOUR CLOTHES MORE TO REFLECT YOUR SENSE OF SELF OR TO BUILD A SENSE OF SELF?

Q: DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU EVER GRAVITATE TOWARDS CERTAIN PEOPLE BASED ON WHAT THEY’RE WEARING?

I think it’s a process. I use it first to build myself, and eventually when I find my own style I use it as a means of reflection. When you try different styles and different types of clothes and you feel yourself in them.

I pay a lot of attention to the people around me.

When you walk in front of Usdan, you see someone with really cool style . I wanna know this person. A lot of my friends have a distinct style, and that’s why I decided to approach them. Tell me your story. Why do you like this shirt? What does it mean to you?

Q: DO YOU THINK THAT CLOTHES ARE A SOURCE OF JOY? Absolutely. I’ve been painting on clothes recently with fabric paint, which is so fun. They’re so unique and I’m so proud of myself for that. And then everytime I go out people compliment them, oand I’m like ‘I made that!’

Q: DO YOU FEEL LIKE IF YOU LIVED IN COMPLETE ISOLATION YOU WOULD WANT TO DRESS UP, OR WEAR CERTAIN THINGS, OR DO MAKEUP? During quarantine there were so many moments where I would dress up, play music, look in the mirror, and those were moments for myself .

"WHEN YOU LOOK GOOD, YOU FEEL IT FOR YOURSELF FIRST." You approved of yourself, and that self-recognition is really beautiful. I feel like the recognition of others comes after your self-recognition.

Q: DO YOU THINK THAT EVALUATING PEOPLE’S IDENTITY THROUGH THEIR CLOTHES HAS NEGATIVE CAPACITIES AS WELL? Yes, sometimes fashion changes how people think about you, and that can affect how people interact with their community. If you see a person with cool style, you think they’re a cool person. But if you never get to know them, your entire impression of that person is based on their appearance. I think that plays a big role in how I interact with people.

So many of the people that Wesleyan defines as cool wear really unique clothes, which makes you think that someone is cool before you really get to know them. And I feel like when I wear clothes that make me feel more pretty, I feel like there are more people that talk to me, and that affects my mental health for sure. It could be a good thing , but it can also become something that traps you.

Q: WHERE DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE AT IN THAT JOURNEY? II’m at a stage where I feel good about my style, but I also feel self-conscious if I’m not at that level all the time. Style helps with my mental health a lot. If I’m feeling down, I can sit down at my desk and do my makeup and feel an instant, immediate change that makes me feel better. But at times, I have doubts .

III. APRIL SCHWARTZ April Schwartz talks about how her experience with gender dysphoria, OCD, and depersonalization have shaped her relationship with clothing and style. She discusses her love for denim, the difficulties and possibilities of cultivating personal style during the process of transitioning.

Q: COULD YOU TELL US SOME BACKGROUND INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF? I’m from Golden, Colorado. I have an older brother. I like skiing - big backcountry skier. I like sewing. I got into that through embroidery and then I was like, ‘oh I can do even more. I haven’t bought new clothes in 3 years now. All Goodwill, thrifting, all that stuff. I try to be principled about that.

Q: HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR STYLE? Like too much? I would say. Like dumb. Every jacket I own has pins on it. And people are like “That’s too many pins.” And I’m like, “Well yeah, but they’re nice. " Thats my style. It's fun. I’m also big into denim, like in a nerdy way. Like all about the fabric.

Q: WHAT DRAWS YOU TO DENIM? The process of making it - it’s so minuscule. Good denim feels super nice. I really like fabrics. All my pants are denim.

Q: DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR INTEREST IN FABRIC IS INDICATIVE OF CLOTHING HAVING MORE OF A VISCERAL MEANING TO YOU, OR DO YOU STILL GRAVITATE TOWARDS CERTAIN AESTHETIC QUALITIES AS WELL? I’d say maybe both. Definitely part of the appeal of nice denim is the fact that it doesn’t stretch, it’s all in there. But equally I like the way that it looks and I like the way different denims have different weave patterns. But I think that’s a good point. That it does come back somewhat to how the fabric is a way of living in your skin.

lots of de nim

Q: HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE, IN AS MUCH OR AS LITTLE DETAIL AS YOU WOULD LIKE, YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH MENTAL HEALTH? Pretty much awful. I’ve had fairly bad depression since 5th grade, but I feel like at a certain point depression just kinda becomes a thing and then it’s not a problem anymore. Maybe this is connected to the denim, starting in about sophomore/junior year of high school, I started to develop OCD. That’s kind of the main mental health issue. Because that actually affects my ability to do things. With the OCD, the OCD was kind of a manifestation of increasingly severe gender dysphoria.

Then once I realized that then it sort of kicked the OCD even higher.

Q: IN TERMS OF SORT OF COMPENSATING FOR A FEELING LESS IN CONTROL? IN WHAT WAY DOES THAT FEEL CONNECTED? Yes, it’s control, but then it’s also an inability to recognize my body as myself. I also suffer from depersonalization. It comes with a lot of people who experience gender dysphoria. So that’s where the OCD comes in, is like, whoa - these aren’t my hands. Thus, in order to take back some amount of control and ownership, I’ll just wash my hands all the time. Because when I can feel a textural sensation, then I know that that’s somewhat my own.

AND DO YOU FEEL LIKE THAT PLAYS INTO CLOTHING? I think so, yeah. I hadn’t thought about that. Like people will be like, “so why do you like 16oz denim that’s hard to move your legs in?” and I suppose that could be one of the reasons. I mean, I think that’s what clothing is in general, from an aesthetic standpoint, is to make your presentation match what you feel like. But I think from a feeling standpoint, a personal standpoint, I think that’s probably a significant factor. Saying “well, if I feel weird wearing pants, at least I can make it so that they have a textural feeling that I can pinpoint, that I’m familiar with, and that I can say well the weave and the weft of this denim is blah blah blah, and understand where that comes from and thus understand the physical situation of existing.

Q: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE WAY YOU DRESS TODAY? DO YOU LIKE IT? IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO EXPLORE? ANY AREAS YOU FEEL YOU’VE BEEN HELD BACK FROM THAT YOU COULD SEE YOURSELF GOING INTO IN THE FUTURE? I’m in the process of transitioning. I’m going to want to present fully feminine. With that, comes the problem of passing, In order to do that, trans people have to wear specific clothing that accentuates, you know, their waist, their whatever, and de-accentuates their shoulders. I have weirdly broad shoulders. That is going to be an issue when I start presenting as femme, because I’m going to have to deemphasize that. A lot of trans people don’t wear sleeveless dresses because then it’ll be a very clear indicator. That’s sort of the issue that I face right now. Because I like a lot of the clothing that I wear, I really like wearing uncomfortable, unfeeling denim. I really like wearing a lot of the coats that I wear that are fitted to my body currently, but once I do start presenting feminine, those are all going to be very masculine indicators.

"HOW DO I CONTINUE TO WEAR THE CLOTHING TYPES THAT I LIKE AND TRANSITION TO A CLOTHING TYPE THAT ALSO FITS MY BODY?" Do I get a whole new closet? How to dress feminine?

There’s an awkward phase that a lot of trans people go through for like a year or two, that most people go through in middle school where they’re figuring out “oh what’s my personal style?” and trans people go through it like when they’re 20. They're trying to figure out what to wear. I am there right now. I think it’ll be ok especially because here, if people are ok with me going by she/her and presenting fully masculine, I think people will also be ok with me going by she/her and presenting feminine and wearing masculine clothing.

But in the real world, that’s a concerning thing that I have to think about that I don’t know what I’m gonna do with that.

Three Hot, Sexy Ladies in Your Area.

WANT TO SEE THEM NAKED? Creative Director Photographer Crochet Make-Up Artist

Siggy Soriano@sig.soriano Siggy Soriano @sig.soriano Victoria Cornejo @victoria.cornejo Lena Weiman @lenaweiman

@kailer.the.creator

@jessjarawilliams

@laurenmuchowski

Women have been extremely sexualized due to the excessive use of porn. I mean, it feels like every other video is about some naughty, slutty teen girl falling totally submissive to some guy. Now I’m not shaming you for being into that, I’m personally not a fan. My first experience having sex was similar to a rough porn - the guy thinking I was his sex toy, pulling my hair and choking me hard enough to the point where I couldn’t communicate what I wanted. With Fray Magazine’s theme of Carnival, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to share the dangers of this female sexualization and also share my story. The prefix “carni” means “flesh” and flesh is what women are said to show too much of. With the outfits curated by myself and crocheting done by Victoria Cornejo, I wanted to show how fashion in itself adds to this sexualization and how we can reclaim our bodies by the clothes we wear.

LAYLA KRANTZ TATTOO ART

Want a Tattoo? Contact @fairy_goblin_mother for a carnival inspired tattoo from her recent flash collection!

Reclamation Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault

n i m s a J g n o W Models: Megan Sigalos Avanthi Chen Kailer Simone

Photographer: Chloé de Montgolfier

I still had my braces on when I was sexually assaulted. My first boyfriend took advantage of my unconditional love for him and raped me. Except when I tell people the story, I dance around the r-word because it feels too heavy, too gruesome. However, it is a word that comes up too often and too early in the stories of women.

After the assault, I was terrified of men.

I couldn’t get enough space between me and them, my deep fear and trauma infesting in the inches between us and sending shivers down my arms. I even steered away from masculine things and places; I never stepped foot in a gym, and I skipped all the sports games. My guy friends thought I hated them because of the way I would assume the worst of them; I assumed they were trying to get in my pants.

My assault was the most cruel expression of masculinity that I had ever experienced. I felt that masculinity would only ever be associated with pain and violence for the rest of my life.

Masculinity is, of course, not all bad. I grew up with two older brothers, and I had fun playing video games with them and wrestling on their bunk beds. Yet, this abusive experience had rewritten masculinity for me, in the worst way. I couldn’t help but feel terrified and threatened by anything that resembled men.

I came out on my 17th birthday. There were months of turmoil in my mind leading up to my birthday. I had developed crushes on women in my classes and at my workplace, crushes that seemed to go beyond admiration and friendship. I found myself painting women, almost exclusively, with a deep and undeniable attraction for them. There was something shifting in myself.

The persona I had attached myself to was gradually deteriorating; I was no longer the feminine straight girl that I had always believed myself to be.

Then, during my senior year of high school, I even began dating a girl. It wasn’t anything serious, but I began to adopt a different role in the relationship that I hadn’t taken on before. I had impulses to be like a boyfriend. To tuck hair behind her ears and to wrap my big hands around her face to bend down and kiss her, even though I am 5’ 4” with very tiny, thin hands. No one expected me to act like a masculine boyfriend to her, but the bounds of heterosexuality had broken, and I was starting to break the bounds of gender too.

When I was little, I would occasionally find my brothers’ worn out socks and boxers in my laundry pile, and I would throw a fit and carry their clothes back to them, making sure to hold it far away from me in disgust. These days, I will try on the oversized men’s shirts that accidentally end up in my room. I will stand in front of the mirror and stuff my hands in my pockets and slouch in a way that makes the clothes drape over my body in a masculine fashion. Sometimes I will get a little too excited and add my dad’s bomber jacket on top and put on a beanie. I will practice sitting with terrible posture and with my legs spread wide apart.

One time, I went out to the convenience store in extra baggy men’s clothes to give it a try. I made sure that my sweatshirt was big enough to cover my boobs, and that my hair was carefully tucked into my hat. Masks have also made it all too easy to walk around as a gender-ambiguous person. My trip to CVS only lasted 20 minutes, but in those 20 minutes, I felt liberation. I walked around unafraid of the middle-aged balding men that would pass by me in the aisles. I didn’t clutch my keys between my fingers when I walked back to my car. I also felt a new confidence; I liked how I could temporarily live in a guy's world and act like I belonged.

Needless to say, adopting men’s clothes is a great way to expand your closet. If you haven’t been shopping in the men’s section, you’ve been missing out. Sure, most of it is sweat stained sports t-shirts and unflattering joggers, but you can also find a cool pair of cargo pants and a sharp suit jacket. You think you feel sexy in that body-con dress? Wait ‘till you try on a pants suit.

Haven’t you ever wanted to pretend to be a very busy business man who works on wall street and put on a crisp white button down and meticulously cuff your sleeves?

Here’s what I’ll say to anyone out there who has been assaulted, or is scared to be assaulted (which is almost everyone): the power of masculinity that you are afraid of, and that you have been abused by, is not out of your reach.

It might seem impossible to have the confidence, the fearlessness, and the command of a man, but you just have to have the courage to take up space in the man’s world. To exist unapologetically in the places you were told you were not made for. After rape or sexual assault or even harassement, you may not want anything to do with masculinity, but masculinity is what you make of it. It is much harder to be afraid of masculinity, when you are, in some way or another, masculine. Even if you are a cis woman, unlike me, there are unexpected rewards to experimenting with masculinity. Embracing masculinity is a way to blur the lines behind man and woman, us vs. them. It is also a way of breaking from the gender roles that are consciously and unconsciously defining your personality and your life.

Wear a tie... and feel good about it.

The Wes Effect Diya Kuwelker and Alphina Kamara

In this piece, a wide variety of seniors at Wesleyan University are interviewed about how their style and sense of fashion has changed as a result of their time at Wes.

Calia Christie

Keli Jiang

Sanidhya Sharma

Loic Gao

I Have a Headache: The Hangover-Themed Shoot

Love Letter to the Gems of This Campus For a while now I have adulated the jewelry choices on this campus. One thing about Wes kids is that we WILL curate a stunning ring, earring, and necklace set to sit in Olin indefinitely, grab some questionable peanut noodles at Usdan, or flail our hands emphatically during seminars —and I love it. I LOVE us for that. I already walk around this campus complimenting half the school on their rings, but when I find out that some of y’all wear your great granny’s heirloom! Wow. It makes my heart soar. What a way to remember someone, by wearing their essence every day — on fingers. It doesn’t even have to be passed down from generations though to mean something special to me. A couple of weeks ago my boyfriend and I went to a roller skating rink/arcade type thing and we had won enough tickets to buy matching rings. The way I incorporated my little fake silver band into my everyday ring set so FAST!!! I love staring at that shit while I write a 20 page at Pi —truly makes the experience so much better. My admiration for jewelry even inspired me to write this poem ya’ll!:

Clinking rings on lingering fingers, ears adorned with sterling silver, shining in new England sunny winters two-week old electric blue nail polish in a sea of purple acrylics.

Something about gold bands on pinkies! and watching you paint plums on canvas with a delicately decorated index finger.

Haven’t seen rose gold jewelry yet but i’m sure someone figured out how to pair it well with some thinking

I’d like to think that in 3000 years this time capsule will be found of the adoring, alluring, well-thought-out jewelry formations created by us each and every morning

Anyway, I leave you with these images that I hope capture how beautiful it is to care about adorning our bodies. I hope you love it too!

Xox Alejandra

♥

How do music and fashion intersect? I have always been obsessed with the fashion of the late 1980s and ‘90s and how they are tied to different subcultures of the period. Shoegaze and grunge rock were the life blood of the new generation of teens who were tired of disco.

They rejected bright colors and beats for moody earth tones and dreamy guitars. I was inspired for this shoot after seeing images from concerts of bands like Cocteau Twins, my bloody valentine and Mazzy Star.

On stage, these performers create sounds that make you feel like you are being pulled closer to heaven and often characterized by ethereal femme vocalists.

I wanted to style and shoot a set of images that evoked the energy that these bands had at the time and inspired by the clothes they wore. I see their influence in fashion to still be extremely relevant today as a whole new generation is discovering them.

In The Club Alec Black