FRANKFORT REKORD 16 SEPTEMBER 2016

16 September 2016 Edition 11

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Chuckles is a free local community booklet distributed every Friday to outlets.

Our booklet is also published on

and become one of our friends For your convenience a PDF copy can also be e-mailed to you free of charge Simply drop us an e-mail at

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Please note our deadline is strictly And sorry, no advert will be published if the advert is not paid in full.

- August has the highest percentage of births - Unless food is mixed with saliva you can't taste it - The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes - A bear has 42 teeth - An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain - Lemons contain more sugar than strawberries - 8% of people have an extra rib - 85% of plant life is found in the ocean - Ralph Lauren's original name was Ralph Lifshitz - Rabbits like licorice - A duck can't walk without bobbing its head - Your tongue is the fastest healing part of your body - Cats have over 100 vocal chords - On your birthday you share it with 9 million others - If you add up all the numbers from 1 to 100 consecutively (1 + 2 + 3...) it totals 5050

Die blondine bel haar kêrel en sê "Liefie, bring vir ons Debonairs huis toe", Kêrel: "Ek maak so, maar spel eers vir my Debonairs," Blondine:" Ag, my liefie, ek skeer sommer gek, Bring vir ons KFC!" Die spoorwegvoorman word ontbied na n treinonge-lukstoneel. Hy kom daar aan en sien die ontspoorde trein in die mielieland. Hy vra wat gebeur het. Die drywer wys na die draai in die spoorlyn en se: "Toe ek om die draai kom sit my skoonma op die spoor!" Die voorman vra: "En toe draai jy uit?" Die drywer antwoord: "Nee meneer, toe hardloop sy in die mielieland in!"

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right member of staff, please listen to all the options before making a selection: To lie about why your child is absent Press 1 To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her work - Press 2 To complain about what we do - Press 3 To swear at staff members - Press 4 To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your Newsletter and several letters posted to you - Press 5 If you want us to bring up your child Press 6 If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7 To complain about school lunches Press 8 To complain about bus transport - Press 9 LASTLY: If you realize this is the real world, and your child must be accountable and responsible for their own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a really wonderful day!

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Wilgerivier HS

FIETSRY SPAN NEEM DEEL AAN

LAERSKOOL HANDHAWER Frankfort Fietsry span neem deel aan Laerskool Handhawer se fietswedren by Willow Creek Vereeniging. Hulle ry 37 km en almal het klaar gemaak. Baie geluk julle!

WILGE GAAN DEUR NA FINALE Die ope A tennis dogters wen die semi-finaal teen Senekal 2. Hulle speel 23 September in die finaal.

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Aktualitiet

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Heuningdruppels

'n Goeie huishouding Spr. 11: 29 "Wie sy huishouding verwaarloos, sal naderhand net wind oor hê..."

Ek dink vroulief gaan nou vir die manne sê hoe hulle moet skottelgoed was en Saterdae daai ongemaklike lysies sonder teëpraat wegwerk. Daai takies wat hy so uitstel dat hy naderhand vir haar sê "jy hoef my darem nie elke ses maande te herinner nie...".

Hierdie kan seker deel van die bedoeling van hierdie teks uitmaak, maar dit gaan veel verder as dit. 'n Klompie jare gelede was ons in verskeie bedieninge betrokke wat my dikwels van die huis af weggeneem het in die aande, en ek het net een dag besef dat jy selfs met Geestelike werk jou huishouding kan afskeep. Die beginsel van "almal in 'n bediening", beteken nie "sommiges in al die bedieninge" nie. Jou huis is tog ook 'n bedieningsveld en deel van die huishouding wat nie verwaarloos moet word nie.

Om tyd saam met jou gesin te spandeer, is deel van die instandhouding van 'n goeie huishouding, so ook tyd vir jouself om van stres ontslae te raak, maar dan ook tyd saam met die Here, om daai Geestelike waarhede terug te ploeg in die huis in. Dis 'n groot seën om 'n huislike atmosfeer te beleef wat aangenaam is om in te woon. ~ Willem Botha

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Uit die Hart van Eva As ek die kraan oopdraai en daar is nie water nie. Daai lewegewende deurskynende vloeistof waarvan ons hier op die plaas nie genoeg kan kry nie. Koffie wat voor my neergesit word met suur melk. Jy voel eintlik hoe die suur gaan sak tot in jou skoene. My kinders met lipstiffie merke! Ek wil liefs nie uitbrei nie want jy het seker ook skoonfamilie? Gewaste klere met merke op. Ek laat loop haar sommer môre.

Internet wat af is! Ag so kan die lys aangaan van al die klein jakkalsies. Maar as daar nou iets is wat my lekker kan laat lag en vir so ‘n oomblik kan laat vergeet van al my nietige sorges is dit sosiale media. Daar is die Janniejammer-gatte.

Jy weet waarvan ek praat. Die wat soggens ontwaak met nuwe klagtes en treurmares. Dit kan met niemand so sleg gaan soos met hulle nie. Dit lui gewoonlik iets soos: “ Nee, regtig! Wat nou nog? Ek kannie meer nie.” of “Net as ek dink die son begin vir my skyn dan…” of “ Ek is so moeg vir mense wat dink…”

En Eva dink my liefste mens jy het skaars ontwaak en jy begin jou dag sò? Dan wonder jy hoekom skyn die son nie vir jou nie. Ek kruip ook eerder agter ‘n wolk weg.

Dan is daar die plasings van Chuck ‘Sussie’ Norris. Hierdie laat my gewoonlik hardop giggel. Op een enkele dag sal jy sommer hordes prentjie boodskappe van hulle sien.

Hulle is die ‘nie nonsens’ vatters. Hulle laat nie met hulle mors nie. Hulle is ook gewoonlik die wraak sweerders. Die ‘die wiel sal draai’ soort – Karma aanhangers. Die plasings word ook meestal gemaak om ‘n geskil met iemand te besleg. En net as jy dink hulle het hulle dag se kwota bereik, skok hulle voor slaaptyd met ‘n bybelversie oor naaste liefde. Go figure! Heimlik weet ons dit is maar alles net ‘n front. Hulle worry hulle vrek oor wat die mense dink en die plasings help glad nie hulle situasie nie. Die Bybelversie tannie – Koorleier as jy wil.

En hier moet ek baie versigtig wees. Ek het self nou die dag Zion Lotz se bladsy gedeel en gevra mense moet vir die klein soldaatjie bid. Maar om gebed te vra en te like of Amen te tik op soms absolute nonsens is ‘n ander storie.

Die Koorleier laat nie ‘n geleentheid verby gaan om Amen te tik op al wat ‘n ‘type Amen to heal this little girl from cancer’ nie. Ek lag nou die dag. Die Koorleier klik like op ‘n foto en skryf ‘n lang gebed vir ‘n kind wat as jy naderby kyk ‘n stuk polony op haar gesig het. Ek sien die Koorleier stilletjies oor want sonder ‘n bril lyk dit kompleet of die arme kind aan ‘n seldsame siekte ly. Eva wil jou graag vandag bedank!

Die dogtertjie is toe genees deur net daardie een ekstra like wat haar foto ontvang het. Well done!!

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Frankfort

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Aktualiteit

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Klitsgras Dis een ding as iemand gehelp wil word, maar dis ‘n heel ander ding as iemand dit net verwag. En die icing op die cake is as die wil staan loop en besluit of dit waarmee sy gehelp word aan haar standaarde voldoen. En wanneer jy vra hoe dit gaan dan loop die trane oor al die swaarkry en natuurlik is dit mos almal anders se skuld as wat dit joune is. So loop Klitsie haar vas in die liefste tannie. Die tannie se swaarkry is soos om die Bokke die naweek teen die All blacks te sien speel. Niemand wil weet wat gebeur nie maar almal gaan tog kyk. In elk geval die tannie is nuut en almal in dorp los alles en help want dis my dorp se mense die. Ons help want ons het hart. Maar nou kom tannie en betrap die hart, die blyplek is nie reg nie, die werk plek is verskriklik sy sal nooit met al haar qualifications as huisvrou daar kan werk nie. Sy kan nie op tweede handse matras loop slaap nie. En so gaan die lysie aan. Niks is reg nie, maar sy is SOOOOOOOO dankbaar vir al die hulp en die “wonderlike” mense se ondersteuning. Dankbaar vir wat? Dit wat iemand anders dalk meer sou waardeer het as om te loop en kla oor die tweede handse matras. Sorry suster, die Klitsie val nie vir jou schemes nie…

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World Kidney Day

10 FACTS ABOUT KIDNEYS 1. The blood flow in kidneys is higher than the blood flow in heart, liver and brain.

2. Kidneys measure around 4.5 inches in length.

3. Kidneys are no bigger than a standard computer mouse or a cell phone.

4. Each individual kidney weighs around 4-6 ounces.

5. In case of new born human babies, the kidney to body weight ratio is 3 times the kidney to body weight ratio in adults.

6. In case of adults, kidneys form only 0.5% of the entire body weight.

7. Exactly half of one single kidney is capable of doing the job that is performed by two kidneys together.

8. Each individual kidney consists of at least 1 million and up to 2 million nephrons. Nephrons are nothing but very tiny filters that are capable of filtering blood and eliminating the waste materials.

9. In a single hour, kidneys receive around 120 pints of blood.

10. Though the kidneys weigh on 0.5% of the entire body weight, they actually receive more arterial blood compared to other organs in body.

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Aktualities

DEPUTY MINISTER HANDS OVER UNIFORM TO LEARNERS FRANKFORT Deputy Minister Mrs. Pamela Tshwete of the Department of Water and Sanitation in collaboration with the Department of Social Development, Amathole District and Amahlathi Local Municipalities as well as South African Social Security Agency (SASSA) handed over sets of school uniforms to the learners at Zamukukhanya Lower and Higher Primary School in Frankfort. A total of 102 learners received sets of brand new school uniforms.

This came as a result of the merger between Zamukukhanya and another school from Hokwana Village within Frankfort. The intervention was made to bring uniformity in the school because the learners'

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parents could not afford to buy the new uniform. With the assistance of SASSA, the department managed to secure uniforms for learners that joined the school.

Further, 100 community members also received hippo water rollers and another 100 were given 20l buckets to carry water.

The criteria focused on the elderly and sick people who are really struggling. The Deputy Minister pleaded with the community of Frankfort to conserve water especially because there is drought and rain is scarce.

The Deputy Minister promised to give the school water tanks to harvest rain water and promote water conservation.

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Kitchen deligh t

Ingredients: 2kg boneless, beef chuck roast, sliced into thin strips 1 cup beef consommé or beef broth 1/2 cup low sodium soy sauce...

1/3 cup dark brown sugar 1 tbsp. sesame oil 3 garlic cloves minced 2 tbsp cornstarch 1 bag Frozen Broccoli Florets White or brown rice, cooked 1. Lay the beef strips in the crockpot and pour the sauce over, tossing the strips to coat.

2. Turn the crockpot on low and cook for about 6 hours. Mine was ready at 5. You don’t want to cook the beef too long or it will start to shred.

3. When it is just about done, take 4 Tbsp. of the sauce and whisk it in a small bowl with the cornstarch. I added about 2 extra tsps. of cornstarch to thicken it up a little bit more.

Slowly stir this into the crockpot. I added the broccoli in at this point so that it could get heated through. You want to let it cook an additional 30 minutes so that the sauce can thicken and frozen broccoli can cook. You don’t want to add the broccoli until the very end or it will be mushy.

Deur Danie Cronjè

Reitz

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Drinking alcohol during her pregnancy can cause a woman's baby to be born with birth defects and developmental disabilities. In fact, alcohol (beer, wine, or hard liquor) is the leading cause of preventable birth defects and developmental disabilities in the United States.

Babies exposed to alcohol in the womb can develop fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASDs).

These disorders include a wide range of physical, behavioural, and

learning problems. The most severe type of FASD is fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS). It is caused by heavy drinking during pregnancy. How Much Alcohol Is Too Much? There is no known safe amount of alcohol to drink during pregnancy. Any amount of alcohol can harm a developing fetus and increase the risk of miscarriage. Alcohol easily passes through the placenta, the organ that nourishes a baby during pregnancy.

Alcohol exposure during the first

Tel: (058) 813 3857

Baba reeks in voorraad Gekontrakteer met meeste mediesefondse met Kroniese Akute medikasie Oop op Sondae 10:30 – 12:00

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trimester — perhaps before a woman even knows she is pregnant — can cause major birth defects. Later in the pregnancy, drinking alcohol can cause poor growth and brain damage that could lead to learning and behavioural problems. These problems can be prevented by not drinking any alcohol during pregnancy.

Do not drink if you are trying to get pregnant or think you may be pregnant.

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Richter

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Nissan

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Nissan

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