ATHENAEA Fall 2020
90th Anniversary Edition
Table of Contents Cover..........................................................................................................................Various Artists iii. Dedication......................................................................................................Claire Brown 1. 1986 Athenaea Cover.......................................................................................Mark Wong 2. The Geenery That Was Childhood..........................................................John Rogers VI 3. 1987 Athenaea Cover...........................................................................Christof Brownell 4. The Greyhound Way.......................................................................................Peter Rogers 5. Guitarist.............................................................................................................Phil Condit 6. 1989 Athenaea Cover..........................................................................................Ben Howe 7. Church, 2000 A.D..........................................................................Charles A. Johnson, Jr. 8. Epitaph of a Fountain Valley Student................................................................Unknown 9. Just....................................................................................................................Dave Bowers 9. Art......................................................................................................................Mark Wong 10. Where I was...............................................................................................Hannah Radner 11. You my love........................................................................................Tamieka Armstrong 12. Waves............................................................................................................Tanya Thomas 13. 1972 Athenaea Cover....................................................................................Stan Edwards 14. Why the Statue of Liberty Wears U.S. Keds.............................................Chip Irwin IV 15. 1986 Athenaea Cover.......................................................................................Nick Brown 16. Nothing...........................................................................................................Marshall Bell 18. Stopping in Town on a Snowy Evening.................................................David F. Currier 19. 2004 Athenaea Cover......................................................................................Alex Wilson 20. 1979 Athenaea Cover............................................................................Meghan Murphey 21. Impenitent Monarch............................................................Joe Lintz and Andy Jenkins 22. Life, a Parable...........................................................................................L.W. Wendelken 24. Untitled....................................................................................................................Ed Gale 24. Art................................................................................................................Susan Williams 25. A Mere Kiss.......................................................................................................Anonymous 26. A Wild Peacock Feather................................................................................Myra Wilson 27. 1969 Athenaea Cover...................................................................................Andy Previtali 28. Common Thought vs Uncommon Thought...................................................John Early 29. Mom After Dorm Duty.................................................................Ellen Carson Kerchner 30. City Man........................................................................................................F.H. Deknatel 31. Untitled..........................................................................................................Anne Schwab 32. Ode to a Hungry Sand Flea...........................................................................John Coonly i
34. 36. 37. 38. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 49.
At The Market.................................................................................................Edward Loo 1977 Athenaea Cover...................................................................................Kathy Greene Sleep........................................................................................................... Moana Kutsche Untitled.........................................................................................................Gale Johnston Untitled.........................................................................................................Randy Melton The Zombie......................................................................................................Anonymous Time.........................................................................................................................R. Sayre The Red Pony..............................................................................................................Morfit The-First Chill.................................................................................................John Barlow STRANDED: The Last of the Big-time Disaster Movies.......................Adam Gordon Acknowledgments
ii
Dedication 90 years ago, the first edition of the Athenaea went to print. 90 years ago. 90 years of flipping through yellowed, quivering pages, of snatching up words and caging them in stanzas. 90 years of one small turtle flitting throughout the lines of prose. 90 years of colorful covers and varying fonts and of booklets big and small. 90 years of changing and of staying exactly the same. As we looked back on our well-loved editions this year and indulged in the works of semesters long gone, the time capsules we held in our hands buzzed with the tales they were dying to tell. The little letters within conveyed heart-wrenching grief, unfettered optimism, titillating romance, cynical speculation, and adolescent curiosity. Behind the formalities and structures of old, these forgotten stories were crying out to be heard. And so we listened. So, welcome to the 90th edition of the Athenaea, a compilation of the works of the generations of artists who came before us, clacking away at their typewriters and pencilling worlds into existence. Here’s to the ticking clock that pushes us forward from infancy to senility, and to the moments in between the blaring punctuations of time. Here’s to the crushing march of change, and to the things that have always remained the same. -Claire Brown
iii forty-eight
Acknowledgements Faculty Sponsor Dave Reynolds, English Department Chair Editors
Lisbet Jackson Claire Brown Elisa Liu
Athenaea Staff Rene Aronson, Claire Brown, Ari Child, Arron Dorrance, Lisbet Jackson, Berg Sonderman, Quinn Lander, Elisa Liu, Francis Zhou Printed by Colt Print Services Athenaea is a publication of Fountain Valley School of Colorado.
-Mark Wong, 1986 one forty-nine
STRANDED: Last ofof the The That Was Childhood STRANDED: The Last theBig-time Big-timeDisaster DisasterMovies Moviescont. cont. TheGreenery GreeneryThe That Was Childhood other could be Iother sunk teeth dorm, could beseen, seen,aagrey greybulk bulkagainst againstthe thenearly-all-encompassing nearly-all-encompassingwhiteness. whiteness. Ihave havedorm, sunkmy my teeth On the roof, the only part of the dorm as yet uncovered (Sage, our dorm, was into apple On roof, thered only part of the dorm as yet uncovered (Sage, our dorm, wason onhigher higher intoathe atempting tempting red apple ground) rescue attempts were being carried out. Students were being brought up in and here it comes, ground) rescue attempts were being carried out. Students were being brought up in and here it comes, stretchers, what looked from collapses bursting hopes stretchers, what looked fromSage Sagelike likeoxygen oxygenmasks masksover overtheir theirfaces. faces.AAfew fewwere werecovered covered collapsesmy my bursting hopes with sheets. inwith a shower of plaster sheets. of plaster in a shower “Will us totally the “Willthey theyexpect expect ustototake takeexams?” exams?”asked askedaathird thirdformer formerfrom fromthe thecorner. corner.Many Many totallyobstructing obstructing theview view menacing faces were toward him. As I sat in one corner of the congested room conferring built kindness menacing were toward him. As I sat in one corner of the congested room conferring builtout outofoffaces kindness with Joe Jompeen, by bulging eyeballs with Joe Jompeen, fellowtroubleshooter, troubleshooter,aastrangled strangledcry crywas washeard, heard,followed followedby bythe the by bulging eyeballsaafellow crash ofofaround glass. ran totothe lurking the corner, crash glass.We We ran thewindow windowand andfought foughtour ourway waytotothe thefront frontinintime timetotosee seeKweer Kweer lurking around the corner, McScottie gyrate out across the powder. (Gyrate was the only word for it; he ran in much riveting a concept into my future McScottie gyrate out the powder. (Gyrate was the only word for it; he ran in much riveting a concept intoacross my future the manner asassparks asparks inthe splash ofofaging same manner aduck. duck.Rumor Rumorhad hadititthat thathe hehad hadbeen beenthrown thrownheadfirst headfirstinto intoaahayhayinaasame splash aging baler back in his native Montana.) As he reached a point some twenty feet from the radiating from aacentral baler back in his native deception. Montana.) radiating from central deception.As he reached a point some twenty feet from the window windowhe hebegan beganslowly slowlytotosink sinkinto intothe thepowder powderand, and,turning turningaapathetic patheticface facetoward towardthose those of us the People of usatatclimbing thewindow, window,he hesank sankfrom fromsight. sight.There Therewere wereaafew fewscattered scatteredbits bitsofofapplause. applause. People climbing By this time, some of the weaker-minded of the boarders had reached grind my innocence into the past Byinnocence this time, some of past the weaker-minded of the boarders had reachedthe thebreaking breaking grind my into the point. Yoncell but return point. Joe, Yoncelland andIIwere weresitting sittingaround aroundaafire fireIIhad hadbuilt builtininthe thecenter centerofofmy myroom; room; butI’ll I’llJoe, return the heat had shut break something the heat hadbeen beenbig shutoff. off.We Weheard heardaascratching scratchingatatthe thedoor. door.We Welooked lookedapprehensively apprehensively break something big toward the door. Polar bears had been sighted recently. Esso Kety entered, aawild loud scream toward the door. Polar bears had been sighted recently. Esso Kety entered, wildgleam gleaminin loud scream his eyes. I’ll down his eyes. I’llput put downmy mybooks books “Shoot, Esso;’ said and trot through the Esso;’ saidYoncell, Yoncell,“WE “WETHOUGHT THOUGHTYOU YOUWERE WEREAAFRIGGIN’ FRIGGIN’POLAR POLAR and trot“Shoot, through thegrass grass BEAR AN’ YOU WAS TO MAUL US!” watching for the chains my later blimp BEAR AN’ YOU WASGOING GOING TO MAUL US!” watching for theanchor anchor chainsof of my laterlife life blimp looked atathim, which not Esso looked him,aastrange strangelook lookininhis hiseyes. eyes.“Maul?” “Maul?”he hesaid saidininaastrange strangevoice. voice. whichIEsso Imust must nottrip trip “No. My game is . tape!” So saying, he took a roll of adhesive tape from his hip pocket lest I wind up in grey gardens “No. My game is . . . tape!” So saying, he took a roll of adhesive tape from his hip pocket lest I wind up in grey gardens and, drawing aalength twelve inches by and, drawing forth lengthofoftape, tape,lunged lungedtoward towardJoe. Joe.Joe Joeevaded evadedhis hisfirst firstattempt attempteasily, easily, twelve inchesforth bytwenty-four twenty-four clamping a hand on the back of Esso’s neck and pulling him around towards the fire. dripping with various assorted potted people clamping a hand on the back ofpotted Esso’s neck and pulling him around towards the fire.There There dripping with various assorted people was wild ininEsso’s and caterpillars. was alaughing wildfear fear Esso’seyes eyesasasJoe Joeforced forcedhim himsteadily steadilytoward towardthe theflames flamesfinally finallypressing pressing andalaughing caterpillars. him himonto ontothe thecoals. coals.Esso Essoscreamed screamedhorribly. horribly. “Shut up!” yelled my roommate from -John Rogers VI, 1966 “Shut up!” yelled my roommate fromthe thetop topbunk, bunk,“I’m “I’mtrying tryingtotoget getsome somesleep!’ sleep!’ -John Rogers VI, 1966 *** *** Janet LaHug sat at the pay phone, speaking Janet LaHug sat at the pay phone, speakinganimatedly animatedlyinto intothe thereceiver. receiver.“Yeah, “Yeah, yeah, yeah,IIunderstand. understand.IIunderstand understandthat thatthere thereare aresixteen-foot sixteen-footdrifts driftson onthe theroads. roads.But Butwhy why can’t you get an airport limousine out here?” can’t you get an airport limousine out here?” two forty-six two forty-six
Joe leaned toward him and said, “You can’t get through to the airport, Jan. All the lines are down.” Jan looked at him and said, “I know. I was just passing the time.” He stood, spit skoal juice at the phone and walked off down the hall. Joe chuckled and sat down across the alcove from me. “They’re dropping like flies,” he said, “Janet’s the third one to go today.” “I know,” squeaked a voice from across the hall. We turned to see Walter Schweitzman laying, fetus-like in the corner of the alcove. “They’re all crazy,” he squeaked, “I’m beginning to think I’m the only sane one left.” He grinned. “Jubjub,” he squeaked, and rolled off down the hall. “Where’s Yoncell?” I asked Joe. “What time is it?” he said. “Four P.M.” “Oh, he’s still asleep.” Adolf Bowles goosestepped up the stairs, followed closely by Blatchy Pete, Kweer’s roommate. “Achtung!” he shouted, “THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED!” He glanced at his watch. Turning to Blatchy he said, “Zero hour minus ten minutes.” He goosestepped out the window into the drifts, followed closely by Blatchy Pete. Nine minutes later, Joe followed him. I glanced at my watch. Zero hour minus fifty-two seconds. I’m beginning to think I’m the only sane one left. -Adam Gordon, 1977
-Christof Brownell, 1987
three forty-seven
The Greyhound The-First Chill Way Watchin’The that chilling old sun wind go down, of October blows, and with its harsh motion the forlorn and Watchin’ from miserable leaves a Greyhound crackle in the bus, fallen state. Dead leaves, like dead dreams, whisper a Wonderin’ melody of the when summer. I’ll make Theit song homeis–but a reiteration of happiness, that repeats itself over I’m going and over like home, the goin’ memories home,that plague the mind and give no quarter . . . . The Greyhound Bare trees, way. their gaunt branches reaching for the sky, perhaps in hope of refuge from the cold world of the living. This salvation may not come – perhaps they will be People’s eyelids overlooked in their tendplea, to fall, for each is but one more entity in a world of entities . . . . But the The driver’s windsitting whistles tall,in the eaves, it is a wind devoid of feeling, unlike the soft breeze I lieSummer, of back andthe join cruel thewind sleeping of Winter, crowd – or the hopeful murmuring wind of Spring, no, this We’re is but agoing cold,home, sterilegoin’ windhome, .... The Greyhound way. -John Barlow, 1963 Passin’ by the midnight bars, Watchin’ drunks climb into cars – Hopin’ wives won’t cuss them out too hard, They’re going home, goin’ home, The Greyhound way. An old man died in back of me, People looking – trying to see, Make me think of buzzards in their tree, He’s going home, goin’ home, The Greyhound way. I get off and people stare, Now I’m wonderin’ if I care, A few more stops and they’ll be rollin’ home, They’re going home, goin’ home, The Greyhound way.
-Kirsten Kratina, 1976 four forty-four
STRANDED: STRANDED:The TheLast Lastof ofthe theBig-time Big-timeDisaster DisasterMovies Movies Walkin’ down that moonlit road, with sun Walkin’Now, down thatthe moonlit road, vigorously Now, with the sunshining shining vigorouslydown downupon uponthe thesnow-covered snow-coveredlawns, lawns,itit One more mile and I’ll be home, seemed like it had been nothing more than a big joke. Now, nestled safely in One more andbeen I’ll be home,more than a big joke. Now, nestled safely inthe seemed likemile it had nothing thecoach coach Now just how I’ve learned, section of the desperation the morning NowI’m I’m wonderin’ just howmuch muchof I’ve learned, section ofwonderin’ the737, 737,the the desperation of the morningbefore beforeall allblurred blurredlike likethe theproverbial proverbial By goin’ home, remembrance things past. Bygoin’ goin’home, home,of goin’ home, remembrance of things past.The Theday dayhad hadstarted startednormally normallyenough, enough,lacking lackingthe thegrim grim The Greyhound way. foreboding that was supposed to accompany the hours before a disaster . . . The Greyhound way. foreboding that was supposed to accompany the hours before a disaster . . . *** *** Rogers, 1975 I-Peter looked through sleep-covered eyes at Rogers, 1975 I-Peter looked through sleep-covered eyes atthe thefar farwindow. window.The Thesky skywas wasovercast, overcast, unusual unusualfor forthe theweather weatherwe wehad hadbeen beenhaving havinglately, lately,weather weatherwith withtemperatures temperaturespushing pushing70. 70. Still, Still,IIthought thoughtnothing nothingof ofit. it.Colorado Coloradoweather weatherwas wasnothing nothingififnot notunpredictable, unpredictable,and andthe the mornings often began wintery. I rolled over and put my face into the pillow. I had an hour mornings often began wintery. I rolled over and put my face into the pillow. I had an hour before beforemy mylast lastfinal finalexam examand andfour fourhours hoursafter afterthat thatbefore beforemy myflight flightleft leftColorado ColoradoSprings Springs airport. Just as I was beginning to fall back off to sleep, the window fell in. The sudden airport. Just as I was beginning to fall back off to sleep, the window fell in. The sudden blast blastof ofcold coldair airrushed rushedinto intothe theroom roomand andthe thesnow snowwhich whichhad hadbeen beenpiled piledagainst againstthe the window windowfell fellinto intothe theroom. room. “Hey!” shouted “Hey!” shoutedmy myroommate roommatefrom fromthe thetop topbunk, bunk,“Shut “Shutthe thehell hellup! up!I’m I’mtrying tryingto to get getsome somesleep! sleep! He Hepulled pulledhis hiscovers coverssnug snugaround aroundhis hisneck neckand andwiped wipedthe thegrease greaseout outof ofhis hisface. face. Frantically, Frantically,IIscrambled scrambledup upfrom fromthe thebed bedand, and,throwing throwingmy mygrappling grapplinghook hooktoward towardthe the cloud-obscured cloud-obscuredpeak peakof ofthe thedrift, drift,began beganmy myascent. ascent.In Inmy myunderwear. underwear.Needless Needlessto tosay, say,itit was somewhat uncomfortable. As the frostbite began to numb my legs and I had finished was somewhat uncomfortable. As the frostbite began to numb my legs and I had finished the thetemporary temporarywall, wall,IIheard heardaaknock knockatatthe thedoor. door. “Come in!” I shouted over the roar of “Come in!” I shouted over the roar ofthe thewind. wind. “It’s “It’sabout abouttime timeyou yougot gotoutta outtabed, bed,Gordo, Gordo,’’’said saidDavid DavidYoncell, Yoncell,walking walking lethargically lethargicallyinto intothe theroom, room,“Shoot, “Shoot,it’s it’scold coldin inhere! here!Why’n’a Why’n’ahell helldoncha donchaget getHockett Hockettto to give you some heat?” give you some heat?” “Yoncell, “Yoncell,””IIsaid saidover overthe thelessening lesseningroar roarof ofthe thewind; wind;the thewall wallwas wasnearly nearlycompleted, completed, “Do “Doyou youstill stillhave havethat thatsnow-mobile snow-mobilein inyour yourcloset?” closet?” He Helooked lookedatatme mequizzically. quizzically. *** *** The alcove could be described accurately The alcove could be described accuratelyatatthat thatpoint pointas asmayhem. mayhem.Several Several members membersof ofthe thesenior seniorclass classstood stoodatatthe thewindow windowon onthe thesecond secondfloor. floor.The Thesnow snowhad hadpiled piled to tojust justunder underthat thatwindow, window,and andthe thehot hotbreath breathon onthe thewindow windowkept keptititclear. clear.From Fromthere, there,the the full of the damage could be ascertained. Across the white expanse Penrose, the -Phil Condit, 1968 fullextent extent of the damage could be ascertained. Across the white expanse Penrose, the -Phil Condit, 1968 five forty-five five forty-five
Time Time Darkness Darknessstaggers staggersunto untoits itsfeet feet and stretches its grey tentacles and stretches its grey tentacles across acrossthe thefloor. floor. designs designsofof trees, shadows, trees, shadows, form formthemselves themselvesin in oblique unknown, obliquepatterns patternsand andforms, forms, unknown, asaswaning waninglight lightfails. fails. Man, Man, hishigh highchair, chair, ininhis searches. searches. Acrossthe thelimitless limitlesseternities eternitiesof ofthe the universe, universe, Across thevast vastexpanses expansesof oftime. time. the Flying, Flying, flying, flying, Flying, Flying, acrossthe theempty emptychasms chasmsof ofminds, minds, across throughthe therushing rushingfjords fjordsof of through psychosis, psychosis, untenable,but butto tothose thosewhose whoseeyes eyes have have heard heard untenable, parabolas parabolas cutinto intohyperbolas; hyperbolas;and andcones cones cut splitinto intocircles, circles,ellipses ellipsesand, and, split parabolas, thus, parabolas, thus, timepasses. passes. time throughcontagious contagiousfogs fogsand and through mysteries of grey clouds. mysteries of grey clouds. baroque upon the the floor, floor, baroque upon in splendour; flying, in splendour; flying,
-BenHowe, Howe,1989 1989 -Ben six forty-two forty-two six
Church, 2000 A.D. Flying. Bells have long since been discarded, and now cosmic sound rays call the people to the mountains of entrance clearness.is a large,beyond. church. Over the blinking neon sign which reads, “Let The Machine to the edge of reality. Be Your God.” The church walls are composedbeyond. of a new synthetic wood. The interior has No the Time indirect lighting throughout, and altar is a huge engine with beautiful red, green, and has the engine is running. The loud, smooth purr of yellow lights flashing on and off while beenwhich feels uneasy if it does not constantly hear the the engine soothes the congregation, left behind. sound of machines working. Silence now descends upon the congregation. The first hymn, Ah! Sweet Mystery -R. Sayre,is1975 of the Machine, sung. Then the Lord High and Mighty Chief Mechanic rises through a trapdoor at the foot of the altar. He takes a small microphone from his pocket so that each person may hear his sermon more clearly through the public-address system, which uses a new power-driven modulator, some pre-amplifying units, and a crystal microphone speech-amplifier of the class B type with a super-infragenerator attachment. When he talks, his voice sounds harsh because of the microphone system. But how fitting is the tone for this place of sacred and austere worship! He speaks. “The Machine is your master; blessed be the Machine. The Machine is your guardian; it will feed and clothe you. The Machine is your savior; no longer need you think or worry. Obey the Machine, and it will do your thinking for you. The Machine immortalizes nothing. The Machine always gives you something new and shiny: new cocktail shakers, new television sets, new automatic toothbrushes and potato peelers. Is there anything more you could ask for in life? No, of course not! Serve The Machine, and it will serve you. Trust the Machine to be your master. Strive to be a firm cog in the Machine of Life. A gear does not work well if its teeth are not identical; neither does the Wheel of Life run smoothly if each person is not an identical spoke. Therefore we must all act and think alike. Tighten up each nut and bolt, and be efficient in your work; for time goes quickly, and we must all hasten to bring more of the Machine’s beauty into our lives. And now, Almighty Machine, we beseech thee to have mercy upon us. May we forever humbly admire thy beautiful combustion chamber. Amen.” The organ softly plays the fifth movement of the Symphony of Static. The Lord High and Mighty Chief Mechanic turns toward the altar and shouts, “Let us Pray!” “Contact!” responds the congregation. -Morfit, 1961 -Charles A. Johnson, Jr., 1939 seven forty-three
Epitaph of a Fountain Valley Student (Untitled) I’ve no LIES HERE excuse IJILLIAN can’t name what I’m writing about It’s a feeling, but which one I don’t know JUNE I’m supposed 8, 1980-NOV. to tell you 15, 1996 something But I can’t define it POOR DEAR, No ISHE won’t SOLD tell you HER what SOUL thisFOR is A GRADE. HER Id i have BODY to decide, SCREAMED: so do you “SLEEP!” And if you find a title for this art DENIED, Don’t tell me DENIED. DIED I’ve already OF EXHAUSTION, named it THE WEEK BEFORE FINALS. -HER EYEBALLS -Randy Melton, DRIED 1986 OUT AND FOREVER STUCK OPENLEAVING BEHIND A LOVING FAMILY, TWO CATS, AND A DISORGANIZED NOTEBOOK -Unknown, 1997
-Ari Sugar, 2001 forty eight
Just The Zombie The Just Zombie Wonder The zombie never sits, lasts forever The Wonder zombie never sits, lasts forever Of course, open wide. forever doesn’t exist Ofeyes eyes course, open wide. forever doesn’t exist Now, No expression if forever see, Now, No expression if foreversee, Doesn’t the expression exist, then hides. Doesn’t the expression exist, then hides. Either nothing Either nothing is is Real, Left hand or everything of the keyboard, Real,hand Left or everything of the keyboard, Is priceless, hand mouse. Is right right priceless, hand onon thethe mouse. No The need zombie, to worry, encases darkness, No need The zombie, to worry, encases inin darkness, God never wonders leaves the all house. the time. God never wonders leaves the all house. the time. Internet -Dave and E-mail Bowers, 1995 Internet -Dave and E-mail Bowers, 1995 have replaced ball and bat. have replaced ball and bat. Childhood memories are gone Childhood memories are gone exchanged on-line chat. exchanged forfor on-line chat. Like a poisonous drug, Like a poisonous drug, cables feed spleen. thethe cables feed to to hishis spleen. New people to meet, New people to meet, through a lifeless, blank screen. through a lifeless, blank screen. Imagination gone, Imagination gone, the zombie won’t quit, the zombie won’t quit, rolls lifelife rolls onon by,by, and the zombie still sits. and the zombie still sits. -Anonymous, 1997 -Anonymous, 1997
-Mark Wong, 1986 -Mark Wong, 1986 forty-one nine forty-one nine
Quest Untitled Where I Was Comfort dribbles their mouths IDark. was sitting on thefrom steps, of all and Cold. smiles jump like rabbits places. My father and brother Itosittheir inplaying the eyes, station were a duet— their lips. Waiting —piano— for what. violin and Fleeting For what promises I ask myself. and I was killing time, feignedto Where concern go, waiting for mywhat turntotodo. practice, “We want you to abecatalog happy…” flipping through Consultation, The warm lights, con ver buy, sation of dolls I would never The Truth cutting the dark cold.stop my brother listening tosinks my Dad to People the bottom — what of kind. and tell him that their his B fish was tanks a little flat. and drops behind theirand television sets. People — the old man I. It is piece forgotten. Who was I compared to thismuch aging man. The don’t remember StackedBartok, between text books, about: Dvořák, buried there Sitting in filewith cabinets, only his mind. maybe Mendelssohn. in Is his unopened thought jars of love? of coffee The memorable thing was thehate? Of Truth that I seek when the phone rang. How my mom sitspast? Of quietly.and wished her father answered How present? long before How she aOf happy birthday. questions Of himself? free it, came running down the carpeted stairs, or tears Or of me? loosen stepping on myit? catalog, How long saying, “Ohbefore no, oh no, oh no.” I forget about it? Yes, Of me he thinks. His eyes-Susanna catch mySonnenberg, sight. 1981 Hollow. Lonely. Fearful. They seem to be… Searching
ten thirty-eight
But it wasn’t the news I feared. Not that my grandmother was dead. Not that Papa was sick. Not that he was calling from the hospital. Not that he had driven his golf cart off of his driveway, narrow and steep, which is what he always warned me about when he let me sit next to him and steer while he pushed the gas. Hard to understand the words. But what the words amounted to wasn’t the worst thing; not anything that had to do with the guesses, the television, the plane, the crumbling of a building I used to watch out of the car window when we drove down to New York for dinner. But rather with the way my hands shook when I tried to practice the piano.
- Hannah Radner
You my love
have left but didn’t
Searching — for what? For who? go For a long gone friend?you will always be here Or is it for a place to hide, To escape? in my heart I without you Iissee in this man pictures. Pictures nothing of joy and sadness. Scenes you of violence. without me Scenes of peace. is He remembers an old friend. everything He turnremembers in a circle a walk into your past On the beach — freedom. where you will find me He thinks of sadness. waiting patiently for Yes, you sadness. your love Sadness has triumphed over him love love— who can he be? Well me you see, This old man is me. -Tamieka Armstrong, 1997 -Gale Johnston, 1970
thirty-nine eleven thirty-nine eleven
Waves The ship is always rocking, he said to himself as he leaned over the edge, looking at the waves. Were they really going forward, or were the waves merely endlessly pushing them back, back toward England? For a moment the waves stood out, leaping up, and in them he could see faces, evil faces, faces grinning with horrible malice, the perfectly formed white teeth forming into a smile, an evil smile. Somehow, as he looked at them, it seemed as if it were the teeth themselves, and not the lips, that were smiling. Or were there any lips to smile? As he looked closer, both the lips, if there ever had been any and the teeth disappeared, and the eyes were coming, coming at him. What would they do if they caught him? But no, eyes could only see, not catch. Or could they? As he watched, entranced, arms came out of these eyes, green, slimy arms, with horrid red dots, living dots. The arms had hands, but somehow, these hands didn’t seem to belong. They were human hands, but with horrible, crooked, grasping fingers. Now it was the arms that were human, the hands had turned slimy, with an eye, a dislocated, dead eye on each fingertip. The boy heaved himself from the side, and, as if with merely that one effort, the images disappeared. He looked over, slowly, but all he could see were the blue waves. It seemed as if he had been dreaming, but no, he was sure that that one flash, that one wink of sunlight on the wave, had been meant for him, for him alone. Why me? he cried out to the skies, fully expecting an answer from the God, the God who had caused all this misery, the sickness, even this wild fleeing from his home. Why me? he asked again, but still no answer came. Maybe the reason was that there was no God, no Jehovah, no reason. And then all this hue and cry would be all meaningless. He laughed out loud at its simplicity. There was no life after death, no Abraham, no miracles, nothing. While great men all throughout history, and especially now, when even the great king himself had worried over questions like this, he, a simple bairn, a nine-year old bairn, had figured it out himself. So this was the answer. All his childhood teachings, his lessons, had been for naught, there was nothing to teach, nothing to learn. He laughed again, and felt guilty. Was he supposed to laugh? His mother often laughed secretly, he had seen her, but if his father caught him at this, he would immediately assume that the devil or one of his maidens, possibly even Lilith had seized him, and there would be much trouble. But now he heard his mother calling him. She was always anxious, lest anything unlawful should happen, and he should be a disgrace. -Kathy Greene, 1977 thirty-six twelve
Sleep Sleep Before running running to to her, her,he hetook tookone onelast lastpeek peekatatthe thewaves. waves.They Theywere werejust justasasbefore, before, Sleep overcomes overcomes Sleep Before smiling innocently up at the sky, not even looking at him. He smiled briefly at them, and The silent watcher, silent watcher, up at the sky, not even looking at him. He smiled briefly at them, and smiling innocently thencorner ran to to policeman, his mother’s mother’s arms armson onhis hisunsteady unsteadyfeet. feet. corner policeman, The then ran his insomniac. The insomniac. -Tanya Thomas, 1981 Its soft, soft,-Tanya gray, oozing oozing bliss1981 gray, bliss Thomas, the mind mind Fills the And the the eyes. eyes. And body relaxes relaxes The body And feels feels tired. tired. And Sleep is relief Sleep is relief From whatever’s whatever’s chasing chasing you you From Whatever’s worrying worrying you, you, Whatever’s From From hurt, hurt, from from yourself. yourself. The policeman policeman isis awakened awakened By the the next next on on his his shift. shift. A peaceful peaceful smile smile Is on on the the insomniac’s insomniac’s face. face. The silent silent watcher watcher sleeps sleeps ever everon. on. He will will never never wake. wake. -Moana -Moana Kutsche, Kutsche, 1977 1977
-Stan -StanEdwards, Edwards,1972 1972 thirty-seven thirteen thirty-seven thirteen
At Why the the Market Statue Why At the the Market Statueof ofLiberty LibertyWears WearsU.S. U.S.Keds Keds — Everyone IIwent knows the that today. Women’s Everyone — wentto to knows themarket market thatFrench French today. Women’sfeet feet — Yes. I are used graceful to go to the market with my — Yes. Iare used graceful to go to the market with mymother motherwhen whenIIwas wasyoung. young. — and narrow aabox —IIpicked picked andup up narrow boxofofdetergent, detergent,aaroast, roast,some somemushrooms, mushrooms,and andaabag bagof ofapples. apples.IIwas was and going totoget some andalways going always getpetite. petite. sometomatoes, tomatoes,but butthis thisfat fatlady ladykept keptgetting gettingin inmy myway. way. — My mother was fat. Did I ever tell you that? Oh, she might have — My mother was fat. Did I ever tell you that? Oh, she might havecalled calledherself herselfrotund, rotund, The plump, plentiful ofofLiberty even. came But here knew from she France was TheStatue plump, Statue plentiful Liberty even. came Butwe we here knew from she France wasfat fatand, and,deep deepdown, down,she sheknew knewitittoo. too.The The word “mother, not graceful, ” somehow, always meant that to me, I never thought of “woman, ” “beauty, word “mother, not graceful, ” somehow, always meant that to me, I never thought of “woman,” “beauty,”” “charm. Mother slender, was “charm.”not ”not Mother slender, was“strength, “strength,””“security, “security,””“mass, “mass,””“tears. “tears.””Like Likeaaprimordial primordialearth earth but goddess, she of all butawkward goddess, awkward sheinvaded invaded ofstance. stance. allofofmy mysenses sensescompletely. completely.IIremember, remember,as asan aninfant infantmother motherwasn’t wasn’t aThere person, she she still was stands, a world her feet unto wide herself. spread, It was as if I were enwombed again. She would aThere person, she she stillwas stands, a world her feet untowide herself. spread, It was as if I were enwombed again. She wouldhug hug me Isize 90 be meand andsize Iwould would 90long, long, beenveloped envelopedby byher herwarmth. warmth.Throughout Throughoutthe thehouse, house,IIcouldn’t couldn’tget getaway away from size presence. Double-Z Sometimes wide, fromher her size presence. Double-Z Sometimes wide, IIinvited invitedthat thatpresence. presence.When Whenstrangers strangerswould wouldcall, call,I’I’ddhide hide huge behind her, for hold U.S. ofofKeds. her hugeadvertisement behind advertisement her,grabbing grabbing for hold U.S. Keds. herskirt, skirt,or orwhen whenmy mybrother brotherwould wouldpick pickon onme, me,IIwould wouldrun run totoher herseeking seekingrefuge. refuge.But, But,more moreoften, often,ititwas wasoverbearing overbearingand andstifling stiflingand andas asinevitable inevitableas as Does the passing she play of hockey, time, with hang the ten incessant on the tugging, surf? and washing, and pushing, and scolding. Does the passing she play of hockey, time, with hang theten incessant on the tugging, surf? and washing, and pushing, and scolding. Sometimes, IsIsititsquash? Isquash? Sometimes, Ihated hatedmy mymother. mother. — IsIsititcricket? believe —IIcouldn’t couldn’t cricket? believethat thatwoman. woman.She Shewas wasblocking blockingeverybody everybodyelse’s else’sway wayand andthen thenshe she Or would on and Orgolf would golfsqueeze squeeze onthe theturf? turf? andbruise bruiseall allthe thetomatoes, tomatoes,picking pickingthem themup upand andthen thenthrowing throwingthem them down. down.That Thatmade mademe mefurious. furious.Imagine Imaginehow howinconsiderate inconsiderateshe shewas. was.IIwanted wantedto togo goto tothe the No, manager her feet but are I didn’t... all bunioned I didn’t from want solid to look concrete, like a busybody. No, her feet manager butare I didn’t... all bunioned I didn’tfrom wantsolid to look concrete, like a busybody. — so was —Mother Mother soblistered, blistered, wasnever neverworried worriedabout aboutappearances. appearances.She Shewould wouldmake makedo dowith withwhat whatwe wehad had and so ititatatthat. andaccept accept socalloused, calloused, that.Once, Once,my mybrother brotherasked askedwhy whyhe hecouldn’t couldn’thave haveshoes shoeslike likehis hisfriend’s friend’s “En and Mother pieds ofofdefeat. him ””wash “Enles and les Mother piedsmade made defeat. him washhis hismouth mouthout outwith withsoap. soap.IIcould couldnever neverunderstand understandwhy whyshe she did didthat thatbut butIIlearned learnedtotonever nevermention mentionwhat whatothers othershad. had.That Thatwas wasthe thefirst firsttime timethat thatIIsaw saw Doc my mother Scholl recommended angry and it frightened the wearing me. of It peds, must have been her pride, but I just couldn’t Docmother my Scholl recommended angry and it frightened the wearing me.of It peds, must have been her pride, but I just couldn’t comprehend but my mother comprehend butthey they myrubbed, rubbed, motherhaving havingthe thesame sameemotions emotionsand andfeelings feelingsas aseveryone everyoneelse. else.It’s It’sjust just too that Ithey tore, toobad badand and thatthey Iwould would tore,never neverget getthat thatchance chancetotofully fullyunderstand understandmy mymother. mother. So — she fat them sure had some isisnow nerve. wearing You SoThat — That shebooted booted fatlady lady them sureout out hadand and some now nerve. wearing Youknow knowwhat whatshe shedid? did?After Afterdoing doingall allthat that U.S. squeezing and she footloose didn’t even fancy buy free. U.S.Keds squeezing Kedswhen when andpinching. pinching. shefeels feelsShe She footloose didn’tand and even fancy buyany. any. free.She Shejust justup upand andwalked walkedaway. away.Do Doyou you believe that? believe that? -Chip IV, 1966 — “just walked -ChipIrwin Irwin IV,and 1966 —My Mymother mother “justup up and walkedaway” away”too. too.As Asaamatter matterof offact, fact,she shedied diedwhen whenIIwas wasfive, five, IIdidn’t didn’treally reallyunderstand understandthat thatthen thenbut butwhen whenmy myfather fathersaid saidthat thatshe shehad hadgone goneon onaatrip. trip.II knew knewhe hewas waslying. lying.IIthink thinkIIfinally finallyunderstood understoodwhen whenmy myaunt auntcame cameover overthat thatnight nightto totake take thirty-four fourteen fourteen thirty-four
care of us. I think I cried then. I don’t remember, but I think I did. There was this horrible stillness and void in our family that we would never get over. I still feel an incredible emptiness that I can’t get rid of, no matter how hard I try. My father tried to take her place but he just wasn’t used to dealing with us that way and her presence was just too strong. Eventually, he gave up and we languished in mutual frustration for years. I left home at the first possible chance but I still can’t shake those feelings of loss, hurt, and injustice. I always ask the same question, “Why?”, and I’ve never found an answer good enough and I don’t think I ever will. — What’s that? What are you mumbling about? —Oh. No ... nothing. What were you saying about the market? -Edward Loo, 1980
-Nick Brown, 1986 thirty-five fifteen
Nothing Ode to a Hungry Sand Flea This morning, Little Johnny was a happy child. His favorite game was Cowboys and Indians. With the beach his imagination is deserted. he could figure out some of the most amazing ways to have fun. He wouldI’m God! picture hungry. himself as some old hero of the West and go about shooting his playmates in Ithe If justname had of the law. All was in fun. At his age he could make a game out of anything. aNothing little something bothered him; everything was always turned into a Western duel of some kind. Even to nibble when on,he rode his bike to the mailbox to mail a letter for his mother, he was making a Itrip could for make the Pony it. Express. He’d shoot make-believe Indians, and life was wonderful and for fun.been a long time It’s since the One lastday person. when Johnny was with his friend, Mark, he said, “Let’s play guns.” But thisMark hot summer looked at day him and said, “That’s for babies.” is perfect “Itfor is not. people. It’s fun.” Soon there “So will what. beIt’s still for babies.” thousands “What of them. else is there to do?” All toasting, “Nothin’!” rolling, and browning their big, “Then juicylet’s bodies play.” in the hot “You’re summer a sissy. sun. ” Johnny stopped playing guns. But where Now areit they? was time for Johnny to become a grownup. He was now ready to have the kindHA! AH of fun his Dad had, or even the older boy down the block. He felt Mark was right. A baby At last, doesn’t have any fun. He started reading the newspapers, learning about the world. aThere body.were a lot of grown-ups in the papers. What fun they must be having threatening each A feast other on two withlegs atomic bombs, shooting and killing each other in Korea. But just a minute, and it’s coming that’s just in another this direction. version of Cowboys and Indians. Those grown-ups are babies just as he had been, he thought. He wondered what the older boy down the street did and WOW! decided What a dish! to go ask him. She is going “What to the make hellsome are you breakfast talking about?” Bill was astonished at the naivete of the question. and for that matter… some lunch “Youand know. dinner. I mean you know, have fun.” He was afraid to say, “Like I did playing guns.”it looks like Why she is going “Ah you to tan wouldn’t every inch: understand. Now run along. I got things to do.” That’s a “What?” lot of inches. She is lying “Well, down nothin’ on ,the I guess. towel. ” This is your “That’s chance whatFillmore. Mark does, nothing. What’s so much fun about doing nothing?” ATTACK! “Quit askin’ such dumb questions, and get home.” sixteen thirty-two
With my my lightning speed “Why areyou you somad?” mad?” “Why are so With lightning speed she will never know “I’m not mad. I’m nodifferent differentthan thanany anyother otherkid kidmy myage. age.I Ijust justdon’t don’tlike likelittle little not mad. I’m no she will“I’m never know what bit her. punksbit like youtaggin’ taggin’along, along,that’s that’sall. all.”” punks like you what her. you were were flea, Johnny thoughtabout aboutthe theword word“punk. “punk.””He Hehad hadheard heardBill Billcalled calledthat thatbybya aman manjust just Johnny thought IfIf you aaflea, what part would you bite first? the other day. “What’s punk mean? Is that what people call people younger than them?” the other “What’s punk mean? Is that what people call people younger than them?” what part day. would you bite first? Well II know know “Getthe thehell hellout outof ofhere!” here!” “Get Well what I’m I’m goinggot tobite. bite. Johnny got out,but buthe helearned. learned.He Helearned learnedthe theword word“hell, “hell, thefirst firstofofa alot lotofof Johnny out, ” ”the what going to Iwords leap on on herthan hand,that worse than thatyet yetto tocome, come,which whichhe heused usedmore moreand andmore moreasashehegrew grewolder oldertoto worse Iwords leap her hand, bound up her arm, about describe his feelings aboutcertain certainsituations. situations.He Healso alsolearned learnedthat thatgrown-ups grown-upsdid didnothing. nothing. describe his feelings bound up her arm, crawl over herwhat shoulder, At least, least, that’s what Markand andBill Billdid. did.The Theones oneshe hehad hadread readabout aboutininthe thepaper paperwere werejust just At that’s Mark crawl over her shoulder, playing modern and there and there playing modernversions versionsof ofCowboys Cowboysand andIndians, Indians,which whichhe hehad hadjust justquit. quit. He at at long long last… last… He grew grewolder, older,further furtheraway awayfrom fromhis hisdays daysofofcap-guns cap-gunsand andmake makebelieve. believe.Nothing Nothing was make (I’ll (I’ll bet wasbet make believe believeanymore. anymore.He Heknew knewthat thatififyou youpointed pointedaagun gunatatsomeone someoneand andpulled pulled the ititwould that right that right now now the trigger, trigger, wouldkill killthe theperson. person.He Heknew knewwhat whatdeath deathwas, was,that thatititwasn’t wasn’tjust justfalling falling the ground to soon get up and play another game. He hadn’t been killed in his ato lot of people atolot people to soon get up and play another game. He hadn’t been killed in hisnow theofground now not-so-new world would like be would like to to be of not-so-new world ofrealism realismbut buthe’ he’ddbeen beenwounded, wounded,not notwith withmake makebelieve believearrows, arrows, with abut flea abut flea with arrows arrowsof ofemotion. emotion.He’ He’ddbeen beenwounded woundedquite quiteaafew fewtimes. times.There Therewere wereother other arrows, like me like me sarcasm, arrows, sarcasm,bitterness, bitterness,harshness, harshness,confusion, confusion,aawhole wholeslew slewofofother otherarrows. arrows.He Heknew knew unhappiness by the by the sea sea to unhappiness toits itsfull fullextent. extent.He Heknew knewthat thatatatany anyminute minutethe thecountry countrywith withwhich whichhis hiswas was in conflict could push a button and blow him into smitherines. He knew he would have about to eat about to eatcould push a button and blow him into smitherines. He knew he would havetoto in conflict work hard, this this meat.) workmeat.) hard, make makemoney, money,strive, strive,get getstepped steppedon, on,step stepon onothers, others,support supporta afamily. family.All Allthis, this, and a lot more, he had learned. NO! STOP! DON’T NOT THAT! NO! DON’T NOT THAT! and aSTOP! lot more, he had learned. He came stumbling SS He came stumblingout outofofaaparty partyhe heand andhis hisfriends friendshad hadhad hadallallnight. night.ItItwas wasabout about eight L L eight o’o’cclock. lock.There Therewas wasenough enoughlight lightfor foraachild childwith withaacowboy cowboyhat hattotosee seehim himfall fallon onthe the sidewalk and start vomiting up that which he had filled himself with at the party. “Whatsa A A sidewalk and start vomiting up that which he had filled himself with at the party. “Whatsa matter?” P! P! matter?” asked askedthe thechild. child. “Move on, kid. ** “Move on, kid.Cancha Canchasee seeI’m I’msick. sick.”” “What “Whathave haveyou youbeen beendoing?” doing?” “Nothin’!” -John Coonly, 1970 -John Coonly, 1970 “Nothin’!” -Marshall -MarshallBell, Bell,1960 1960
thirty-three seventeen thirty-three seventeen
Stopping City Man in Town on a Snowy Evening He walks The mistythe circle streets, round alone the moon in the masses, Foretells The people of that snoware that’s notcoming people, soon; the cold, grey conThe snow crete. that during winter’s freeze Will break the branches Underfoot roar of theofsubway, the trees. the tumult of life, These surround him; he is trapped. The sound traffic slows of life,down the tramp to a creep of feet, millions of In snowfeet, that’s moving; only inches deep, And It is living, worn down but it is tires “dead”, just don’t it is warm, sufficebut it To ease isancold, auto over ice. The city, cold, barren, crowded, and … lonely. Kind Christmas shoppers loudly curse Atman A slip of along shoeinorthe drop masses, of purse, walking the streets, And “Santas” Where is he going? bearing Why? all their Doesgifts he know? Steps can How out he of cars knowand what intois drifts. all about him? He sees, he nods his head, “C’est la vie” he says. This point of view is why I’m lost In poetry The ape isby well Robert fed inFrost. captivity. The slave dies in his chains, smiling … -David F. Currier, 1960 -F.H. Deknatel, 1960
eighteen thirty
Untitled Untitled My My country’s country’s history, Save Save for for posterity, posterity, In In my my fruit fruit jar. jar. Land Land where where the blue skies cried Yard where Yard where my birdie died Presidents Presidents share share suicide In In Earl’s Earl’s Cafe Cafe and Bar Wires Wires above above will stretch Under Under the the bums bums do retch Amusement Amusement Park Here’s Here’s the the place place where James Bond spied, Over Over there’s there’s where they all lied, II take take pride pride because I am snide, Do sea Do sea porpoises porpoises bark? You You stalk stalk the the Pink Police, Because Because they they stole your niece, To To far far Peru Peru Long Long live live hallucinogens hallucinogens Squirt Squirt guns, guns, chinchilla pens They’ve They’ve decimated decimated all our men What What will will you you do? Now Now hear hear the the teacher cry Can you you please please tell me why Can you write write this this stuff you guess I’m I’m slightly slightly dense II guess Or just just aa little little tense Or Because itit all all makes sense Because Isn’t that that enough? enough? Isn’t -Alex -Anne Schwab, 1980Wilson, 2004 -Anne thirty-one nineteen
Common CommonThought Thoughtvs vsUncommon UncommonThought Thought ItItisisthe thefear fearofofan anindividual individualin inaagroup groupto toexpress expresssingular singularthoughts thoughtswhich whichlimits limits expression of “uncommon thought. ” “Uncommon thought” is by no means literally expression of “uncommon thought.” “Uncommon thought” is by no means literally uncommon uncommonexcept exceptininthe theeyes eyesofofaagroup groupthat thatmakes makesititso. so.In Inother otherwords, words,the the“uncommon “uncommon thought” thought”isisonly onlyone onethat thatisisagainst againstthe the“common “commonthought” thought”of ofaagroup. group.This Thisisisan aneffect effect of of our society. our society. Society Societynot notonly onlydiscourages discouragesthe theexpression expressionof ofan an“uncommon “uncommonthought” thought”but butto to those few individuals who overcome this fear of individual expression it refuses to let those few individuals who overcome this fear of individual expression it refuses to let them themact actwithout withoutreceiving receivingpenalty. penalty.One Oneof ofthe thebest bestexamples examplesin inour ourpresent presentsociety society isisanti-Semitism. anti-Semitism.This Thismakes makesour oursociety, society,the theAmerican, American,very veryhypocritical; hypocritical;for forisisnot not freedom freedomofofreligion religionone oneofofthe thebasic basicprinciples principleson onwhich whichour oursociety societyisisfounded? founded?Those Those few fewindividuals individualswho whoare arebold boldenough enoughto tosay saythat thatanti-Semitism anti-Semitismisiswrong wrongand andtry tryto todo do something about it pay, either directly or indirectly. A society which professes freedom something about it pay, either directly or indirectly. A society which professes freedom of of religion religionattacks attacksand andattempts attemptstotocrush crushthose thosewho whoare arewilling willingto tostand standfor forit. it.AAmajority majority of of the thepeople peopleininour oursociety societydo dofeel feelthat thatanti-Semitism anti-Semitismisiswrong wrongbut butare areafraid afraidto tosay sayso sofor for fear fearofofexpressing expressingthe the“uncommon “uncommonthought. thought.””ItItisisthe thefear fearof ofan anindividual individualin inaagroup group to to express expresssingular singularthoughts thoughtswhich whichlimits limitsexpression expressionof of“uncommon “uncommonthought. thought.”” This is by no means the only, or possibly one of the best, examples This is by no means the only, or possibly one of the best, examplesof ofhow how hypocritical hypocriticalour oursociety societyisisand andhow howbiased biaseditithas hasbecome becomeagainst againstthe the“uncommon “uncommon thought. ””ItItisistruly thought. trulyaaridiculous ridiculoussociety societyin inthe thesense sensethat thatmany many“uncommon “uncommonthoughts” thoughts” that that ititattempts attemptstotocrush crushare arereally reallythe the“common “commonthoughts” thoughts”held heldby bythe themajority majorityof ofthe thepeople people ininthe thesociety, society,and andititwill willremain remainthis thisway wayuntil untilthe thepeople peoplein inthe thesociety societyrealize realizethis. this. The Thepeople peopleininour oursociety societywill willnever, never,as asaawhole, whole,realize realizethis thiseven eventhough thoughthey they might mightwant wantto. to.Human Humannature natureisisamazing, amazing,for forthe themajority majorityof ofthe thepeople peoplein inour oursociety, society, or or ininany, any,will willnever neverexpress expressthemselves themselvesas aslong longas asthey theyhold holdthe thefear fearof ofbeing beingdifferent. different.Even Even though thoughthey theyknow knowthat thateveryone everyoneelse elsefeels feelsthis thisway waythey theywill willstill stillremain remainafraid afraidto toexpress express themselvesuntil untileveryone everyoneelse elsehas hasdone doneso. so.Therefore, Therefore,the the“common “commonthought” thought”will willremain remain themselves uncommonand andthe the“uncommon “uncommonthought” thought”common. common. uncommon Onemore morequestion questionenters entersin: in:what whatshould shouldbe bethe thereaction reactionof ofaasociety societythat that One maintains a “common thought” that is common to the majority to an “uncommon maintains a “common thought” that is common to the majority to an “uncommon thought”that thatchallenges challengesit? it?IfIfthe thesociety societyisisfirm firmand andbelieves believesin initself itselfititshould shouldovercome overcome thought” this“uncommon “uncommonthought” thought”that thatchallenges challengesit; it;but butwould wouldthe thesociety societybe beright rightin indoing doing so? so? ItIt this wouldbe, be,for forininthe thetype typeofofsociety societywhere wherethe the“uncommon “uncommonthought” thought”isiscommon commonthere there isis aa would -Meghan Murphey, 1979 -Meghan Murphey, 1979 basicset setofofprinciples principles which themajority majority believein inand andthe theminority minorityabide abideby byand andthese these basic which the believe twenty twenty-eight twenty-eight twenty
Impenitent Monarch principles right regardless of what they areunkept, if the society believes in and abides by but The are long, lithe, yellow cat, tawney with tangled coat covering his bulky them. This with doesgreat not justify like anti-Semitism in of ourthe society, for aitlethargic is not agile frame yellowsomething eyes, drooping with the weight sun, and believed by the bushy-tipped majority and really only expressed by the while plain. the majority twitching of his tail, majestically surveys the minority yellow-crested remainThe silent. It is the fear of the individual inon a group to express singular which sombre scavengers perch patiently the bare branches above. thoughts The smaller limits expression of the among “uncommon thought.” Againtrees, and and againburst in our society “common species flutter nervously the yellow-thatched forth in shrill strain thought, be it of common or uncommon, will continue to overcome “uncommon thought.” that gives”faith peace within the cat’s realm. The once unchallenged King now yawns reminiscently, exposing his decayed, -Johnand Early (vi), 1963 his blunt, brittle claws in a painful retiring stretch. Then, yellow teeth, unsheathing the soon setting-sun reflecting off his shaggy mane, the old lion eases his once majestic head onto the dry, yellow, sun-baked earth and sleeps. -Joe Lintz and Andy Jenkins, 1965
-Ellen Carson Kerchner, 2000 twenty-nine twenty-one
A Wild Peacock Feather Life, a Parable She sits,And staring into to thepass that there was born unto the people of America a genius, and it came woods which stand just hisback name was Bill. beyond her twenty-second small, white Victorian In his year, Billhut. was graduated from college, and he went to the Her breath steams up the window, place called Cybernetics Lab, where a vision appeared unto him, and commanded him to while outside, the snow falls like build a Machine. leftover confetti in a many parade. And Bill spent years on the making of the machine, and he built and Behind her, a black, smooth baby welded and figured, but it ran electricity and its power was not yet great, although it was grand piano sits next to a large completed. golden harp stool. And Billand spent many more years, and he made a tool for the Machine to take She turns, her eyesBill’s hit abrain, tall, white information from since the Machine was more intelligent, and needed the carnation in a crystal glass vase facts. whichAnd restswhen on the piano. thesilent Machine had taken the information from the brain of Bill, Bill arose Her went eyes, to deep dark, accented and theand Machine, and he said, What is Life? by redAnd cheeks, swirl pastanswered the the Machine saying, There is insufficient information, and Bill was pastel wallpapered walls. sore afraid. Her hand, fairdressed maidenly white,in Grey-Flannel raiment and went out and preached to the So he himself clutches her long, white people saying, Go and givegloves your knowledge to the Machine. And in his sixtieth year, he and a wild dead. peacock feather. was stricken Her mouth, and pretty, And small the people of the slowly land searched and learned and found new facts, and they closes, purposefully pinching went to the Machine, and it took the information from their brains so that it could her lipswhat tightly discover Lifetogether. was. At her feet lies a motionless body, And the people worked and learned for many centuries, and music and painting, clothed a classic tuxedo and all thein arts came to be nothing. stained with blood. And thesinful people slaved and starved and died so that the Machine could discover The lights, slowly come down with the what Life was. heavyAnd curtain as the it came to applause pass, that the Machine sent out into the land a message saying, slowly rises with the to houselights. I have built a machine show what Life is, and the people gathered together in the The orchestra, hidden in its quietly building of the Machine, andpit, were scattered from among the surrounding hills. begins to play while coughs andman from among their numbers, and his name was And the people chose one mutters carry on with flying programs, Poobah. The aisles begin to fillwas with And Poobah thefurs sonand of Sarah and Melvin, and Melvin was the son of Hank, top hats, andwas the yet temporarily and the family young. pleased crowd filters out into the grey streets. twenty-six twenty-two
Emptiness fills, and the the stench of cigar cigar Poobah entered thestench machine andstood stoodin infear fearas asthe thedoors doorsclosed closedbehind behindhim. him. Emptiness fills, and of And Poobah entered the machine and smoke disappears while an old man And suddenly a vision appeared to him, and he found himself standing onaagreat great smoke disappears while an old man And suddenly a vision appeared to him, and he found himself standing on pushes up the very last last seat. pushes the very soft breeze blewseat. in his his face. face. hill, and aaup soft breeze blew in The darkness darkness overwhelms the balcony, overwhelms And he he felt the the heat heatthe ofbalcony, the sun sunupon uponhis hisback, back,and andaawoman womanatathis hisleft leftside, side,and andaa And felt of the mezzanine, the orchestra, the theatmezzanine, the orchestra, the dog his feet. his feet. and finally finally the theater, theater, stage And and the And yet he he stood stood there, and andthe thesky skydarkened darkenedand andthe thestars starscame cameout outand andhe hegazed gazed yet there, though not satisfied, though not satisfied, them in in wonderment. wonderment. upon them falls he falls And he heard heard people people laughing, laughing,and andthe thesound soundof ofmusic, music,but butthey theycame camefrom fromafar. afar. And asleep. asleep. And as he he stood, stood, itit began began to torain rainlightly, lightly,and andititwas waswarm, warm,and andthe thewater watersank sankinto into And as ground, and and the the grass grass and and living livingthings thingsgrew grewup uparound aroundhim, him,and andthe thescent scentofofflowers flowers the ground, -Myra Wilson, 1979 -Myra Wilson, 1979 the air, and and he felt felt strangestirring stirringin inhis hisheart. heart. was in the air, he aa strange And the the vision vision fled, fled, and and he hefound foundhimself himselfstaring staringatatthe thewall wallofofthe theMachine’s Machine’s And machine; and and the the doors doors opened, opened, and andPoobah Poobahleft leftwith withhis hishead headdown. down. machine; And And Poobah Poobah strode strode slowly slowlythrough throughthe thesteel steeldoors, doors,and andpast pastthe thegreat greatassembly, assembly, and they they stepped stepped back back to to let let him him pass. pass. And And he he traveled traveled far far from from the thepeople peopleand andwent wentup uponto ontoaahigh highhill, hill,and andhis hisspirit spiritleft left him, and and he he died. died. And And when when the the people people had had all allseen seenLife, Life,they theydestroyed destroyedthe theMachine, Machine,and andwent went to the high high hill hill and and looked looked upon upon the thebody bodyof ofthe thedead deadPoobah Poobahand andwere werestricken strickenwith withaa terrible depression, because they had learned from the Machine what Life was, and depression, because they had learned from the Machine what Life was, andtheir their lives were were wasted. wasted. So So they they bowed bowed their their heads headsand andsilently silentlytrekked trekkedhome. home. A A cool cool breeze breeze whimpered whimpered in inloneliness, loneliness,and andthe thedogs dogshowled howledatatthe themoon, moon,and and a woman woman cried; cried; and and the the breeze breeze was wasafraid afraidand andfled fledto toits itsabode abodeand andcowered coweredininaacorner corner while the ants trooped out and coldly ate. the ants trooped out and coldly ate. -L.W. -L.W. Wendelken, Wendelken, 1960 1960
-Andy -AndyPrevitali, Previtali,1969 1969 twenty-seven twenty-three twenty-seven twenty-three
Untitled Moist lips pressed her neck a searching hand Groped through her hair, She sighed, not this sh*t again. -Ed Gale, 1970
-Susan Williams, 1976 twenty-four
A Mere Kiss What is a kiss, so sweet and pure? Two meeting lips that touch in bliss And thus create a tempting lure — Or is there more to every kiss? This is but part of its design, For from the heart affection flows. Then is a kiss a subtle sign Expressing love that warms and glows? But sympathy does play a part For kisses comfort, healing pain— Is caring then a kiss’s art? Or is there more a kiss does gain? A kiss communicates a thought Or anything that it may tell So much more have kisses sought; So much kisses can do well. -Anonymous, 1986
twenty-five twenty-five
ALife, Peacock Life, aaParable AWild Wild PeacockFeather Feather Parable She staring into the And ititcame pass Shesits, sits, staring intoto the And came to passthat thatthere therewas wasborn bornunto untothe thepeople peopleof ofAmerica Americaaagenius, genius,and and back woods which stand just his name was Bill. back woods which stand just his name was Bill. beyond her small, hut. In year, was beyond hertwenty-second small,white whiteVictorian Victorian hut. Inhis his twenty-second year,Bill Bill wasgraduated graduatedfrom fromcollege, college,and andhe hewent wentto tothe the Her breath steams up the window, place called Lab, where Her breath steams up the window, place calledCybernetics Cybernetics Lab, whereaavision visionappeared appearedunto untohim, him,and andcommanded commandedhim himto to while outside, the snow falls like build a Machine. while outside, the snow falls like build a Machine. leftover confetti ininaamany parade. And Bill years leftover confetti parade. And Billspent spent many yearson onthe themaking makingofofthe themachine, machine,and andhe hebuilt builtand and Behind her, a black, smooth baby welded and figured, but it ran electricity and its power was not yet great, although Behind her, a black, smooth baby welded and figured, but it ran electricity and its power was not yet great, althoughititwas was grand completed. grandpiano pianosits sitsnext nexttotoaalarge large completed. golden harp and stool. And Bill spent many golden harp and stool. And Bill spent manymore moreyears, years,and andhe hemade madeaatool toolfor forthe theMachine Machineto totake take She turns, her eyes hit a tall, white information from Bill’s brain, since the Machine was more intelligent, and needed She turns, her eyes hit a tall, white information from Bill’s brain, since the Machine was more intelligent, and neededthe the carnation carnationininaacrystal crystalglass glassvase vase facts. facts. which rests on silent piano. which rests onthe the silent piano. And when the Machine had And when the Machine hadtaken takenthe theinformation informationfrom fromthe thebrain brainof ofBill, Bill,Bill Billarose arose Her eyes, deep dark, Herwent eyes,to deep and dark,accented accented and the Machine, and and went to theand Machine, andhe hesaid, said,What WhatisisLife? Life? by cheeks, swirl the byred red cheeks, swirlpast past the And the answered saying, And theMachine Machine answered saying,There Thereisisinsufficient insufficientinformation, information,and andBill Billwas was pastel wallpapered walls. pastel wallpapered walls. sore afraid. sore afraid. Her fair maidenly white, Herhand, hand, fair maidenly white, So dressed himself ininGrey-Flannel Sohe he dressed himself Grey-Flannelraiment raimentand andwent wentout outand andpreached preachedto tothe the clutches her long, white gloves clutches her long, white gloves people saying, Go and give your knowledge to the Machine. And in his sixtieth year, he people saying, Go and give your knowledge to the Machine. And in his sixtieth year, he and aawild peacock and wilddead. peacockfeather. feather. was stricken was stricken dead. Her mouth, small and pretty, Her mouth, small and of pretty, slowly And land Andthe thepeople people ofthe theslowly landsearched searchedand andlearned learnedand andfound foundnew newfacts, facts,and andthey they closes, purposefully pinching closes, purposefully pinching went to the Machine, and it took the information from their brains so that it could went to the Machine, and it took the information from their brains so that it could her tightly together. herlips lips tightly together. discover what Life was. discover what Life was. At lies a motionless body, Ather herfeet feet lies a motionless body, And and Andthe thepeople peopleworked worked andlearned learnedfor formany manycenturies, centuries,and andmusic musicand andpainting, painting, clothed aaclassic tuxedo clothed in classic tuxedo and all arts came be and allthe thein arts cameto to benothing. nothing. stained with sinful blood. stained with sinful blood. And the people slaved And the people slavedand andstarved starvedand anddied diedso sothat thatthe theMachine Machinecould coulddiscover discover The lights, slowly come down with the The lights, slowly come down with the what Life was. what Life was. heavy curtain asasthe heavy curtain the applause And ititcame totoapplause pass, And came pass,that thatthe theMachine Machinesent sentout outinto intothe theland landaamessage messagesaying, saying, slowly rises with the houselights. slowly rises with the houselights. I Ihave havebuilt builtaamachine machinetotoshow showwhat whatLife Lifeis, is,and andthe thepeople peoplegathered gatheredtogether togetherin inthe the The ininits pit, quietly Theorchestra, orchestra, hidden its pit, quietly building ofofthe Machine, and were scattered building thehidden Machine, and were scatteredfrom fromamong amongthe thesurrounding surroundinghills. hills. begins totoplay while and begins play whilecoughs coughs andman And the chose And thepeople people choseone one manfrom fromamong amongtheir theirnumbers, numbers,and andhis hisname namewas was mutters carry on with flying programs, mutters carry on with flying programs, Poobah. Poobah. The begin totofill with furs and Theaisles aisles begin fill with furs and And Poobah was the son ofofSarah And Poobah was the son Sarahand andMelvin, Melvin,and andMelvin Melvinwas wasthe theson sonof ofHank, Hank, top hats, and the temporarily pleased top hats, and the temporarily pleased and andthe thefamily familywas wasyet yetyoung. young. crowd crowdfilters filtersout outinto intothe thegrey greystreets. streets. twenty-two twenty-six twenty-six twenty-two
Emptiness fills, and the of cigar And Poobah entered thestench machine and stood in fear as the doors closed behind him. smoke disappears while an old man And suddenly a vision appeared to him, and he found himself standing on a great pushes very last hill, and aup softthe breeze blewseat. in his face. The darkness And heoverwhelms felt the heatthe of balcony, the sun upon his back, and a woman at his left side, and a the mezzanine, the orchestra, the dog at his feet. stage And and finally the theater, yet he stood there, and the sky darkened and the stars came out and he gazed though not satisfied, upon them in wonderment. falls he heard people laughing, and the sound of music, but they came from afar. And asleep. And as he stood, it began to rain lightly, and it was warm, and the water sank into the ground, and the grass and living things grew up around him, and the scent of flowers -Myra Wilson, 1979 was in the air, and he felt a strange stirring in his heart. And the vision fled, and he found himself staring at the wall of the Machine’s machine; and the doors opened, and Poobah left with his head down. And Poobah strode slowly through the steel doors, and past the great assembly, and they stepped back to let him pass. And he traveled far from the people and went up onto a high hill, and his spirit left him, and he died. And when the people had all seen Life, they destroyed the Machine, and went to the high hill and looked upon the body of the dead Poobah and were stricken with a terrible depression, because they had learned from the Machine what Life was, and their lives were wasted. So they bowed their heads and silently trekked home. A cool breeze whimpered in loneliness, and the dogs howled at the moon, and a woman cried; and the breeze was afraid and fled to its abode and cowered in a corner while the ants trooped out and coldly ate. -L.W. Wendelken, 1960
-Andy Previtali, 1969 twenty-seven twenty-three
Common CommonThought Thoughtvs vsUncommon UncommonThought Thought ItItisisthe thefear fearof ofan anindividual individualin inaagroup group to to express express singular singular thoughts thoughts which which limits expression of “uncommon thought. ” “Uncommon thought” is by no means literally expression of “uncommon thought.” “Uncommon thought” is by no means literally uncommon uncommonexcept exceptin inthe theeyes eyesof ofaagroup groupthat thatmakes makes itit so. so. In In other other words, words, the the “uncommon “uncommon thought” thought”isisonly onlyone onethat thatisisagainst againstthe the“common “common thought” thought” of of aa group. group. This This is is an an effect of our society. our society. Society Societynot notonly onlydiscourages discouragesthe theexpression expression of of an an “uncommon “uncommon thought” thought” but to those few individuals who overcome this fear of individual expression it those few individuals who overcome this fear of individual expression it refuses refuses to let them themact actwithout withoutreceiving receivingpenalty. penalty.One Oneof ofthe the best best examples examples in in our our present present society society isisanti-Semitism. anti-Semitism.This Thismakes makesour oursociety, society,the theAmerican, American, very very hypocritical; hypocritical; for for is is not freedom freedomofofreligion religionone oneof ofthe thebasic basicprinciples principles on on which which our our society society is is founded? founded? Those few fewindividuals individualswho whoare arebold boldenough enoughto tosay saythat that anti-Semitism anti-Semitism isis wrong wrong and and try try to do something about it pay, either directly or indirectly. A society which professes something about it pay, either directly or indirectly. A society which professes freedom of religion religionattacks attacksand andattempts attemptsto tocrush crushthose thosewho who are are willing willing to to stand stand for for it. it. A A majority majority of the thepeople peoplein inour oursociety societydo dofeel feelthat thatanti-Semitism anti-Semitism isis wrong wrong but but are are afraid afraid to to say say so for fear fearofofexpressing expressingthe the“uncommon “uncommonthought. thought.””ItIt isis the the fear fear of of an an individual individual in in aa group group to express expresssingular singularthoughts thoughtswhich whichlimits limitsexpression expression of of “uncommon “uncommon thought. thought.”” This Thisisisby byno nomeans meansthe theonly, only,or orpossibly possibly one one of of the the best, best, examples examples of of how how hypocriticalour oursociety societyisisand andhow howbiased biaseditithas has become become against against the the “uncommon “uncommon hypocritical thought.””ItItisistruly trulyaaridiculous ridiculoussociety societyin inthe thesense sense that that many many “uncommon “uncommon thoughts” thoughts” that thought. attemptsto tocrush crushare arereally reallythe the“common “commonthoughts” thoughts” held held by by the the majority majority of of the the people ititattempts thesociety, society,and andititwill willremain remainthis thisway wayuntil until the the people people in in the the society society realize realize this. ininthe Thepeople peoplein inour oursociety societywill willnever, never,as as aa whole, whole, realize realize this this even even though though they The mightwant wantto. to.Human Humannature natureisisamazing, amazing,for forthe the majority majority of of the the people people in in our our society, or might in any, will never express themselves as long as they hold the fear of being different. in any, will never express themselves as long as they hold the fear of being different. Even thoughthey theyknow knowthat thateveryone everyoneelse elsefeels feelsthis this way way they they will will still still remain remain afraid afraid to express though themselvesuntil untileveryone everyoneelse elsehas hasdone doneso. so.Therefore, Therefore, the the “common “common thought” thought” will remain themselves uncommonand andthe the“uncommon “uncommonthought” thought”common. common. uncommon Onemore morequestion questionenters entersin: in:what whatshould should be be the the reaction reaction of of aa society society that that One maintains a “common thought” that is common to the majority to an “uncommon maintains a “common thought” that is common to the majority to an “uncommon thought”that thatchallenges challengesit? it?IfIfthe thesociety societyisisfirm firm and and believes believes in in itself itself itit should should overcome thought” this“uncommon “uncommonthought” thought”that thatchallenges challengesit; it;but but would would the the society society be be right right in in doing so? It this wouldbe, be,for forin inthe thetype typeof ofsociety societywhere wherethe the“uncommon “uncommon thought” thought” is is common common there is a would -Meghan Murphey, 1979 -Meghan Murphey, 1979 basicset setofofprinciples principles which themajority majority believe in in and and the the minority minority abide abide by by and these basic which the believe twenty twenty-eight twenty-eight twenty
Impenitent Monarch The are long, lithe, yellow cat, tawney with tangled coat covering his bulky principles right regardless of what they areunkept, if the society believes in and abides by but agile frame yellowsomething eyes, drooping with the weight sun, and them. This with doesgreat not justify like anti-Semitism in of ourthe society, for aitlethargic is not twitching of his tail, majestically surveys the minority yellow-crested believed by the bushy-tipped majority and really only expressed by the while plain. the majority sombre scavengers perch patiently the bare branches above. thoughts The smaller remainThe silent. It is the fear of the individual inon a group to express singular which species flutter nervously the yellow-thatched forth in shrill strain limits expression of the among “uncommon thought.” Againtrees, and and againburst in our society “common that gives”faith peace within the cat’s realm. thought, be it of common or uncommon, will continue to overcome “uncommon thought.” The once unchallenged King now yawns reminiscently, exposing his decayed, yellow teeth, unsheathing -Johnand Early (vi), 1963 his blunt, brittle claws in a painful retiring stretch. Then, the soon setting-sun reflecting off his shaggy mane, the old lion eases his once majestic head onto the dry, yellow, sun-baked earth and sleeps. -Joe Lintz and Andy Jenkins, 1965
-Ellen Carson Kerchner, 2000 twenty-nine twenty-one
City Stopping Man Stopping City Manin inTown Townon onaaSnowy SnowyEvening Evening He The misty circle streets, round alone the in Thewalks He walks mistythe the circle streets, round alone themoon moon inthe themasses, masses, Foretells The people of that snow are that’s not coming people, soon; the Foretells The people of that snoware that’s notcoming people, soon; thecold, cold,grey greyconconThe crete. that Thesnow snow crete. thatduring duringwinter’s winter’sfreeze freeze Will Underfoot roar of the the Willbreak Underfoot breakthe thebranches branches roarof ofthe the ofsubway, subway, thetrees. trees. thetumult tumultof oflife, life, These surround him; he is trapped. These surround him; he is trapped. The traffic of down the to of Thesound trafficslows sound slows oflife, life, down thetramp tramp toaacreep creep offeet, feet,millions millionsof of In feet, that’s moving; only Insnow snow feet, that’s moving; onlyinches inchesdeep, deep, And It isisliving, worn but tires “dead”, just itdon’t suffice And It living, worndown down butititis is tires “dead”, justdon’t itisiswarm, warm, sufficebut butitit To cold, auto Toease easeisan isan cold, autoover overice. ice. The city, cold, barren, The city, cold, barren,crowded, crowded,and and… …lonely. lonely. Kind KindChristmas Christmasshoppers shoppersloudly loudlycurse curse At A slip along shoe in or the drop masses, of walking Atman A man slipof of along shoe in or the drop masses, ofpurse, purse, walkingthe thestreets, streets, And Where isishe bearing Why? all Does gifts he And“Santas” Where “Santas” hegoing? going? bearing Why? alltheir their Does gifts heknow? know? Steps How out of know and what into isisdrifts. all Stepscan How can outhe he ofcars cars know and what into drifts. allabout abouthim? him? He Hesees, sees,he henods nodshis hishead, head,“C’ “C’eeststlalavie” vie”he hesays. says. This Thispoint pointofofview viewisiswhy whyI’m I’mlost lost In The ape well Robert fed captivity. Inpoetry The poetry apeisisby by well Robert fedin inFrost. Frost. captivity. Theslave slavedies diesin inhis hischains, chains,smiling smiling… … The -DavidF.F.Currier, Currier,1960 1960 -David -F.H.Deknatel, Deknatel,1960 1960 -F.H.
eighteen thirty thirty eighteen
Untitled My country’s history, Save for posterity, In my fruit jar. Land where the blue skies cried Yard where my birdie died Presidents share suicide In Earl’s Cafe and Bar Wires above will stretch Under the bums do retch Amusement Park Here’s the place where James Bond spied, Over there’s where they all lied, I take pride because I am snide, Do sea porpoises bark? You stalk the Pink Police, Because they stole your niece, To far Peru Long live hallucinogens Squirt guns, chinchilla pens They’ve decimated all our men What will you do? Now hear the teacher cry Can you please tell me why you write this stuff I guess I’m slightly dense Or just a little tense Because it all makes sense Isn’t that enough? -Alex -Anne Schwab, 1980Wilson, 2004 thirty-one nineteen
Ode Nothing totoaaHungry Nothing Ode HungrySand SandFlea Flea This Little Thismorning, morning, LittleJohnny Johnnywas wasaahappy happychild. child.His Hisfavorite favoritegame gamewas wasCowboys Cowboysand andIndians. Indians. With the beach his imagination is deserted. he could figure out some of the most amazing ways to have With the beach his imagination is deserted. he could figure out some of the most amazing ways to havefun. fun.He He would God! I’m picture hungry. himself would God! I’m picture hungry. himselfasassome someold oldhero heroofofthe theWest Westand andgo goabout aboutshooting shootinghis hisplaymates playmates inIf If just name had inIthe Ithe just name had ofofthe thelaw. law.All Allwas wasininfun. fun.At Athis hisage agehe hecould couldmake makeaagame gameout outofofanything. anything. aNothing little something bothered him; everything was always turned into a Western duel of some aNothing little something bothered him; everything was always turned into a Western duel of somekind. kind. Even to nibble when on, he Even to nibble when on, herode rodehis hisbike biketotothe themailbox mailboxtotomail mailaaletter letterfor forhis hismother, mother,he hewas wasmaking makingaa Itrip could for the it.it. Express. Itrip could formake make thePony Pony Express.He’ He’ddshoot shootmake-believe make-believeIndians, Indians,and andlife lifewas waswonderful wonderfuland andfor for fun. It’s been fun. It’s beenaalong longtime time since One last day person. when sincethe the One last day person. whenJohnny Johnnywas waswith withhis hisfriend, friend,Mark, Mark,he hesaid, said,“Let’s “Let’splay playguns. guns.”” But this Mark hot summer looked at day him and said, “That’s for babies. ” But thisMark hot summer looked at day him and said, “That’s for babies.” isisperfect “It is people. It’s perfect “Itfor for isnot. not. people. It’sfun. fun.”” Soon “So what. be It’s Soonthere there “Sowill will what. be It’sstill stillfor forbabies. babies.”” thousands “What ofofthem. else thousands “What them. elseisisthere theretotodo?” do?” All “Nothin’!” rolling, Alltoasting, toasting, “Nothin’!” rolling,and andbrowning browning their big, “Then juicy let’s bodies play. ” their big, “Then juicylet’s bodies play.” ininthe “You’re summer aasissy. sun. ””Johnny thehot hot “You’re summer sissy. sun. Johnnystopped stoppedplaying playingguns. guns. But where Now are it they? was time for Johnny to become a grownup. But where Now areit they? was time for Johnny to become a grownup.He Hewas wasnow nowready readytotohave havethe the kind AH HA! ofoffun kind AH HA! funhis hisDad Dadhad, had,or oreven eventhe theolder olderboy boydown downthe theblock. block.He Hefelt feltMark Markwas wasright. right.AA baby At last, doesn’t baby At last, doesn’thave haveany anyfun. fun.He Hestarted startedreading readingthe thenewspapers, newspapers,learning learningabout aboutthe theworld. world. aThere body. were a lot of grown-ups in the papers. What fun they must be having threatening aThere body.were a lot of grown-ups in the papers. What fun they must be having threatening each A feast other on with legs atomic each A feast other ontwo two with legs atomicbombs, bombs,shooting shootingand andkilling killingeach eachother otherininKorea. Korea.But Butjust justaa minute, and it’s coming that’s just in another this direction. version of Cowboys and Indians. Those grown-ups minute, and it’s coming that’s just in another this direction. version of Cowboys and Indians. Those grown-upsare arebabies babies just WOW! justasashe WOW! hehad hadbeen, been,he hethought. thought.He Hewondered wonderedwhat whatthe theolder olderboy boydown downthe thestreet streetdid didand and decided What aadish! to decided What dish! togo goask askhim. him. She is going “What to the make hell some are breakfast talking She is going “What to the make hell some areyou you breakfast talkingabout?” about?”Bill Billwas wasastonished astonishedatatthe thenaivete naiveteofofthe the question. and for question. and forthat thatmatter… matter… some “You know. dinner. IImean somelunch lunch “Youand and know. dinner. meanyou youknow, know,have havefun. fun.””He Hewas wasafraid afraidtotosay, say,“Like “LikeIIdid didplaying playing guns. Why guns.”it”itlooks Why lookslike like she “Ah to wouldn’t every understand. sheisisgoing going “Ahyou you totan tan wouldn’t everyinch: inch: understand.Now Nowrun runalong. along.IIgot gotthings thingstotodo. do.”” That’s a “What?” lot of inches. That’s a “What?” lot of inches. She “Well, down nothin’ on towel. ”” Sheisislying lying “Well, down nothin’ on,the ,Ithe Iguess. guess. towel. This is your “That’s chance what Fillmore. Mark does, This is your “That’s chance whatFillmore. Mark does,nothing. nothing.What’s What’sso somuch muchfun funabout aboutdoing doingnothing?” nothing?” ATTACK! “Quit ATTACK! “Quitaskin’ askin’such suchdumb dumbquestions, questions,and andget gethome. home.”” thirty-two sixteen sixteen thirty-two
“Why are you so mad?” With my lightning speed not mad. I’m no different than any other kid my age. I just don’t like little she will“I’m never know punksbit like you taggin’ along, that’s all.” what her. Johnny thought about the word “punk.” He had heard Bill called that by a man just If you were a flea, the other “What’s punk mean? Is that what people call people younger than them?” what part day. would you bite first? “Get the hell out of here!” Well I know out, but he learned. He learned the word “hell,” the first of a lot of what I’mJohnny going got to bite. worse Iwords leap on her than hand,that yet to come, which he used more and more as he grew older to describeuphis bound herfeelings arm, about certain situations. He also learned that grown-ups did nothing. At least, that’s Mark and Bill did. The ones he had read about in the paper were just crawl over herwhat shoulder, playing modern versions of Cowboys and Indians, which he had just quit. and there He grew older, further away from his days of cap-guns and make believe. Nothing at long last… was bet make believe anymore. He knew that if you pointed a gun at someone and pulled (I’ll the trigger, it would kill the person. He knew what death was, that it wasn’t just falling that right now theofground atolot people to soon get up and play another game. He hadn’t been killed in his now not-so-new would like toworld be of realism but he’d been wounded, not with make believe arrows, with arrows of emotion. He’d been wounded quite a few times. There were other abut flea arrows, like me sarcasm, bitterness, harshness, confusion, a whole slew of other arrows. He knew unhappiness by the sea to its full extent. He knew that at any minute the country with which his was in conflict about to eatcould push a button and blow him into smitherines. He knew he would have to workmeat.) hard, make money, strive, get stepped on, step on others, support a family. All this, this and aSTOP! lot more, he had learned. NO! DON’T NOT THAT! He came stumbling out of a party he and his friends had had all night. It was about S eight o’clock. There was enough light for a child with a cowboy hat to see him fall on the L sidewalk and start vomiting up that which he had filled himself with at the party. “Whatsa A matter?” asked the child. P! “Move on, kid. Cancha see I’m sick.” * “What have you been doing?” “Nothin’!” -John Coonly, 1970 -Marshall Bell, 1960
thirty-three seventeen
At Why the Market Statue Why At thethe the Market Statue of of Liberty Liberty Wears Wears U.S. U.S. Keds Keds — Everyone II went knows the that today. Everyone — went to to knows the market market that French French today.Women’s Women’s feet feet — Yes. I are used graceful to go to the market with my when II was was young. young. — Yes. Iare used graceful to go to the market with my mother mother when — and narrow aa box and aa bag bag of of apples. apples. II was was — II picked picked andup up narrow box of of detergent, detergent, aa roast, roast, some some mushrooms, mushrooms, and and going to some getting in in my my way. way. and always going always to get getpetite. petite. some tomatoes, tomatoes, but but this this fat fat lady lady kept kept getting — My mother was fat. Did I ever tell you that? Oh, she might have called herself rotund, — My The plump, plentiful of Liberty even.came But we here knew fromshe France was fat and, deep down, she knew it too. The The Statue plump, Statue word not graceful, ” somehow, always meant that to me, I never thought of “woman,” “beauty,” word “mother, “mother, “charm. ” not Mother slender, was “strength,” “security,” “mass,” “tears.” Like a primordial earth “charm. but goddess, she invaded of stance. all of my senses completely. I remember, as an infant mother wasn’t but awkward goddess, awkward aThere person, she she still was stands, a world her feet untowide herself. spread, It was as if I were enwombed again. She would hug aThere person, she me I would 90 long, be enveloped by her warmth. Throughout the house, I couldn’t get away me and andsize from size presence. Double-Z Sometimes wide, I invited that presence. When strangers would call, I’d hide from her her huge behind advertisement her, grabbing for hold U.S.ofKeds. her skirt, or when my brother would pick on me, I would run run huge advertisement behind to to her her seeking seeking refuge. But, more often, it was overbearing and stifling and as inevitable as Does the passing she of hockey, time, with hang theten incessant on the tugging, surf? and washing, and pushing, and scolding. Does the passing she play Sometimes, Is it squash? I hated my mother. Sometimes, — Is it cricket? believe that woman. She was blocking everybody else’s way and then she — II couldn’t couldn’t Or would golf squeeze on the turf? and bruise all the tomatoes, picking them up and then throwing them Or golf would down. down. That made me furious. Imagine how inconsiderate she was. I wanted to go to the No, manager butare I didn’t... all bunioned I didn’tfrom wantsolid to look concrete, like a busybody. No, her manager her feet — so blistered, was never worried about appearances. She would make do with what we had — Mother Mother and so calloused, it at that. Once, my brother asked why he couldn’t have shoes like his friend’s and accept accept “En and Mother piedsmade of defeat. him”wash his mouth out with soap. I could never understand why she “En les and les Mother did did that that but I learned to never mention what others had. That was the first time that I saw Doc my Scholl angry and it frightened the wearing me.of It peds, must have been her pride, but I just couldn’t Docmother my mother Scholl recommended comprehend but they myrubbed, mother having the same emotions and feelings as everyone else. It’s just comprehend too thatthey I would tore,never get that chance to fully understand my mother. too bad badand So — she fat ladythem sure out hadand some is now nerve. wearing You know what she did? After doing all that So That — That she booted U.S. squeezing and pinching. she feels She footloose didn’t and evenfancy buy any. free.She just up and walked away. Do you U.S. Keds squeezing Keds when believe believe that? — -Chip Irwin “just up IV, and 1966walked away” too. As a matter of fact, she died when I was five, five, — My My mother didn’t really understand that then but when my father said that she had gone on a trip. I II didn’t knew he he was lying. I think I finally understood when my aunt came over that night to take knew take fourteen thirty-four thirty-four fourteen
care of us. I think I cried then. I don’t remember, but I think I did. There was this horrible stillness and void in our family that we would never get over. I still feel an incredible emptiness that I can’t get rid of, no matter how hard I try. My father tried to take her place but he just wasn’t used to dealing with us that way and her presence was just too strong. Eventually, he gave up and we languished in mutual frustration for years. I left home at the first possible chance but I still can’t shake those feelings of loss, hurt, and injustice. I always ask the same question, “Why?”, and I’ve never found an answer good enough and I don’t think I ever will. — What’s that? What are you mumbling about? —Oh. No ... nothing. What were you saying about the market? -Edward Loo, 1980
-Nick Brown, 1986 thirty-five fifteen
Waves Waves The Theship shipisisalways alwaysrocking, rocking,he hesaid saidtotohimself himselfasashe heleaned leanedover overthe theedge, edge,looking looking atatthe waves. Were they really going forward, or were the waves merely endlessly pushing the waves. Were they really going forward, or were the waves merely endlessly pushing them themback, back,back backtoward towardEngland? England?For Foraamoment momentthe thewaves wavesstood stoodout, out,leaping leapingup, up,and and ininthem themhe hecould couldsee seefaces, faces,evil evilfaces, faces,faces facesgrinning grinningwith withhorrible horriblemalice, malice,the theperfectly perfectly formed formedwhite whiteteeth teethforming forminginto intoaasmile, smile,an anevil evilsmile. smile.Somehow, Somehow,as ashe helooked lookedatatthem, them, ititseemed seemedasasififititwere werethe theteeth teeththemselves, themselves,and andnot notthe thelips, lips,that thatwere weresmiling. smiling.Or Orwere were there any lips to smile? As he looked closer, both the lips, if there ever had been any there any lips to smile? As he looked closer, both the lips, if there ever had been anyand and the teeth disappeared, and the eyes were coming, coming at him. What would they do the teeth disappeared, and the eyes were coming, coming at him. What would they doifif they theycaught caughthim? him?But Butno, no,eyes eyescould couldonly onlysee, see,not notcatch. catch.Or Orcould couldthey? they?As Ashe hewatched, watched, entranced, arms came out of these eyes, green, slimy arms, with horrid red dots, entranced, arms came out of these eyes, green, slimy arms, with horrid red dots,living living dots. dots.The Thearms armshad hadhands, hands,but butsomehow, somehow,these thesehands handsdidn’t didn’tseem seemto tobelong. belong.They Theywere were human humanhands, hands,but butwith withhorrible, horrible,crooked, crooked,grasping graspingfingers. fingers.Now Nowititwas wasthe thearms armsthat thatwere were human, the hands had turned slimy, with an eye, a dislocated, dead eye on each fingertip. human, the hands had turned slimy, with an eye, a dislocated, dead eye on each fingertip. The Theboy boyheaved heavedhimself himselffrom fromthe theside, side,and, and,asasififwith withmerely merelythat thatone oneeffort, effort,the the images disappeared. He looked over, slowly, but all he could see were the blue waves. images disappeared. He looked over, slowly, but all he could see were the blue waves.ItIt seemed seemedasasififhe hehad hadbeen beendreaming, dreaming,but butno, no,he hewas wassure surethat thatthat thatone oneflash, flash,that thatone onewink wink ofofsunlight sunlighton onthe thewave, wave,had hadbeen beenmeant meantfor forhim, him,for forhim himalone. alone. Why me? he cried out to the skies, fully expecting an Why me? he cried out to the skies, fully expecting ananswer answerfrom fromthe theGod, God,the the God Godwho whohad hadcaused causedall allthis thismisery, misery,the thesickness, sickness,even eventhis thiswild wildfleeing fleeingfrom fromhis hishome. home. Why Whyme? me?he heasked askedagain, again,but butstill stillno noanswer answercame. came.Maybe Maybethe thereason reasonwas wasthat thatthere therewas was no noGod, God,no noJehovah, Jehovah,no noreason. reason.And Andthen thenall allthis thishue hueand andcry crywould wouldbe beall allmeaningless. meaningless. He Helaughed laughedout outloud loudatatits itssimplicity. simplicity.There Therewas wasno nolife lifeafter afterdeath, death,no noAbraham, Abraham,no no miracles, nothing. While great men all throughout history, and especially now, when miracles, nothing. While great men all throughout history, and especially now, wheneven even the thegreat greatking kinghimself himselfhad hadworried worriedover overquestions questionslike likethis, this,he, he,aasimple simplebairn, bairn,aanine-year nine-year old oldbairn, bairn,had hadfigured figuredititout outhimself. himself.So Sothis thiswas wasthe theanswer. answer.All Allhis hischildhood childhoodteachings, teachings, his hislessons, lessons,had hadbeen beenfor fornaught, naught,there therewas wasnothing nothingtototeach, teach,nothing nothingto tolearn. learn. He Helaughed laughedagain, again,and andfelt feltguilty. guilty.Was Washe hesupposed supposedto tolaugh? laugh?His Hismother mother often laughed secretly, he had seen her, but if his father caught him at this, often laughed secretly, he had seen her, but if his father caught him at this,he hewould would immediately immediatelyassume assumethat thatthe thedevil devilor orone oneofofhis hismaidens, maidens,possibly possiblyeven evenLilith Lilithhad hadseized seized him, him,and andthere therewould wouldbe bemuch muchtrouble. trouble. But Butnow nowhe heheard heardhis hismother mothercalling callinghim. him.She Shewas wasalways alwaysanxious, anxious,lest lestanything anything unlawful unlawfulshould shouldhappen, happen,and andhe heshould shouldbe beaadisgrace. disgrace. -Kathy -KathyGreene, Greene,1977 1977 twelve thirty-six thirty-six twelve
Sleep Before running to her, he took one last peek at the waves. They were just as before, Sleep overcomes smiling innocently The silent watcher, up at the sky, not even looking at him. He smiled briefly at them, and thencorner ran to policeman, his mother’s arms on his unsteady feet. The The insomniac. Thomas, Its soft, -Tanya gray, oozing bliss1981 Fills the mind And the eyes. The body relaxes And feels tired. Sleep is relief From whatever’s chasing you Whatever’s worrying you, From hurt, from yourself. The policeman is awakened By the next on his shift. A peaceful smile Is on the insomniac’s face. The silent watcher sleeps ever on. He will never wake. -Moana Kutsche, 1977
-Stan Edwards, 1972 thirty-seven thirteen
Untitled Quest Quest Untitled Dark. Comfort Comfortdribbles Dark. dribblesfrom fromtheir theirmouths mouths and Cold. smiles jump like rabbits and smiles jump like rabbits Cold. ItoIto sit their ininthe eyes, station sit their the eyes, station their Waiting — theirlips. Waiting lips. — for forwhat. what. Fleeting For what promises I ask myself. Fleeting For whatpromises I ask myself. feigned Where concern go, feignedto Where to concern go,what whattotodo. do. “We “Wewant wantyou youtotobe behappy…” happy…” Consultation, The warm con Consultation, The warmlights, lights, conver versation sation The cutting the dark TheTruth Truth sinks cutting thesinks darkcold. cold. toPeople People the bottom — what of kind. their to the bottom — whatofkind. theirfish fishtanks tanks and behind their television sets. People — old I.I. anddrops drops behind theirand television sets. People —the the oldman man and ItWho Who was Itisisforgotten. forgotten. wasIIcompared comparedto tothis thisaging agingman. man. Stacked Stackedbetween betweentext textbooks, books, buried Sitting inthere cabinets, only buriedthere Sitting infile filewith with cabinets, onlyhis hismind. mind. inIs Is his unopened thought jars of love? of coffee in his unopened thoughtjars of love? of coffee the Of Truth thehate? Of hate? Truththat thatIIseek seek sits Of quietly. sitspast? Of past? quietly. How Of present? long How Of present? longbefore before questions Of himself? freeit,it, questions Of himself? free ortears tears ofme? me? loosenit? it? orOr Or of loosen Howlong longbefore before How Iforget forgetabout aboutit? it? I Yes, Yes, Ofme mehe hethinks. thinks. Of Hiseyes eyes -Susanna catchmy my Sonnenberg, sight. 1981 His -Susanna catch Sonnenberg, sight. 1981 Hollow. Hollow. Lonely. Lonely. Fearful. Fearful. Theyseem seemtotobe… be… They Searching Searching
ten thirty-eight thirty-eight ten
You my love
have left but didn’t Searching — for what? go For who? For a long gone friend?you will always be here Or is it for a place to hide, in my heart To escape? I without you Iissee in this man pictures. nothing of joy and sadness. Pictures you of violence. without me Scenes is Scenes of peace. everything He remembers an old friend. turnremembers in a circle a walk into your past He where you will find me On the beach — freedom. waiting patiently for He thinks of sadness. you sadness. your love Yes, love love— who can he be? Sadness has triumphed over him me you see, Well This old man is me. -Tamieka Armstrong, 1997 -Gale Johnston, 1970
thirty-nine eleven
(Untitled) Epitaph Epitaphof (Untitled) ofaaFountain FountainValley ValleyStudent Student I’ve HERE no excuse HERE I’ve noLIES LIES excuse IJILLIAN can’t name IJILLIAN can’t namewhat whatI’m I’mwriting writingabout about It’s It’saafeeling, feeling,but butwhich whichone oneIIdon’t don’tknow know JUNE I’m supposed 8,8,1980-NOV. to 15, something JUNE I’m supposed 1980-NOV. totell tellyou you 15,1996 1996 something But I can’t define it But I can’t define it POOR No POORDEAR, No DEAR, ISHE won’t SOLD tell HER what SOUL this isis AAGRADE. ISHE won’t SOLD tellyou you HER what SOUL thisFOR FOR GRADE. HER Id i ihave BODY totodecide, SCREAMED: so HER Id have BODY decide, SCREAMED: sodo doyou you “SLEEP!” And ififyou “SLEEP!” And youfind findaatitle titlefor forthis thisart art DENIED, Don’t tell me DENIED. DENIED, Don’t tell me DENIED. DIED I’ve already OF named THE DIED I’ve already OFEXHAUSTION, EXHAUSTION, nameditit THEWEEK WEEKBEFORE BEFORE FINALS. FINALS. -HER -Randy DRIED 1986 OUT -HEREYEBALLS EYEBALLS -RandyMelton, Melton, DRIED 1986 OUTAND ANDFOREVER FOREVER STUCK STUCKOPENOPENLEAVING LEAVINGBEHIND BEHINDAALOVING LOVINGFAMILY, FAMILY,TWO TWO CATS,AND ANDAA CATS, DISORGANIZEDNOTEBOOK NOTEBOOK DISORGANIZED -Unknown,1997 1997 -Unknown,
-Ari Sugar, Sugar, 2001 2001 -Ari forty eight eight forty
Just Zombie The The zombie Wonder never sits,lasts forever Of course, eyes open wide. forever doesn’t exist Now, No expression if foreversee, Doesn’t the expression exist, then hides. Either nothing is Real,hand Left or everything of the keyboard, Is priceless, right hand on the mouse. No need The zombie, to worry, encases in darkness, God wonders never leaves the allhouse. the time. Internet-Dave and E-mail Bowers, 1995 have replaced ball and bat. Childhood memories are gone exchanged for on-line chat. Like a poisonous drug, the cables feed to his spleen. New people to meet, through a lifeless, blank screen. Imagination gone, the zombie won’t quit, life rolls on by, and the zombie still sits. -Anonymous, 1997
-Mark Wong, 1986 forty-one nine
Time Time Darkness Darknessstaggers staggersunto untoits itsfeet feet and stretches its grey tentacles and stretches its grey tentacles across acrossthe thefloor. floor. designs designsofof trees, shadows, trees, shadows, form formthemselves themselvesinin oblique unknown, obliquepatterns patternsand andforms, forms, unknown, asaswaning waninglight lightfails. fails. Man, Man, ininhis hishigh highchair, chair, searches. searches. Across Acrossthe thelimitless limitlesseternities eternitiesofofthe theuniverse, universe, the thevast vastexpanses expansesofoftime. time. Flying, Flying, flying, flying, Flying, Flying, across acrossthe theempty emptychasms chasmsofofminds, minds, through throughthe therushing rushingfjords fjordsofof psychosis, psychosis, untenable, untenable,but buttotothose thosewhose whoseeyes eyeshave haveheard heard parabolas parabolas cut cutinto intohyperbolas; hyperbolas;and andcones cones split splitinto intocircles, circles,ellipses ellipsesand, and, parabolas, thus, parabolas, thus, time passes. time passes. through throughcontagious contagiousfogs fogsand and mysteries of grey clouds. mysteries of grey clouds. baroque upon baroque uponthe thefloor, floor, ininsplendour; splendour;flying, flying,
-Ben -BenHowe, Howe,1989 1989 forty-two six six forty-two
Church, 2000 A.D. Flying. Bells have long since been discarded, and now cosmic sound rays call the people to the mountains of entrance clearness.is a large,beyond. church. Over the blinking neon sign which reads, “Let The Machine to the edge of reality. Be Your God.” The church walls are composedbeyond. of a new synthetic wood. The interior has No the Time indirect lighting throughout, and altar is a huge engine with beautiful red, green, and has the engine is running. The loud, smooth purr of yellow lights flashing on and off while beenwhich feels uneasy if it does not constantly hear the the engine soothes the congregation, left behind. sound of machines working. Silence now descends upon the congregation. The first hymn, Ah! Sweet Mystery -R. Sayre,is1975 of the Machine, sung. Then the Lord High and Mighty Chief Mechanic rises through a trapdoor at the foot of the altar. He takes a small microphone from his pocket so that each person may hear his sermon more clearly through the public-address system, which uses a new power-driven modulator, some pre-amplifying units, and a crystal microphone speech-amplifier of the class B type with a super-infragenerator attachment. When he talks, his voice sounds harsh because of the microphone system. But how fitting is the tone for this place of sacred and austere worship! He speaks. “The Machine is your master; blessed be the Machine. The Machine is your guardian; it will feed and clothe you. The Machine is your savior; no longer need you think or worry. Obey the Machine, and it will do your thinking for you. The Machine immortalizes nothing. The Machine always gives you something new and shiny: new cocktail shakers, new television sets, new automatic toothbrushes and potato peelers. Is there anything more you could ask for in life? No, of course not! Serve The Machine, and it will serve you. Trust the Machine to be your master. Strive to be a firm cog in the Machine of Life. A gear does not work well if its teeth are not identical; neither does the Wheel of Life run smoothly if each person is not an identical spoke. Therefore we must all act and think alike. Tighten up each nut and bolt, and be efficient in your work; for time goes quickly, and we must all hasten to bring more of the Machine’s beauty into our lives. And now, Almighty Machine, we beseech thee to have mercy upon us. May we forever humbly admire thy beautiful combustion chamber. Amen.” The organ softly plays the fifth movement of the Symphony of Static. The Lord High and Mighty Chief Mechanic turns toward the altar and shouts, “Let us Pray!” “Contact!” responds the congregation. -Morfit, 1961 -Charles A. Johnson, Jr., 1939 seven forty-three
The-First The Chill TheGreyhound The-First Greyhound Chill Way Way Watchin’ The that chilling old wind go of Watchin’ The that chilling oldsun sun wind godown, down, ofOctober October blows, blows, and and with with its its harsh harsh motion the forlorn and Watchin’ miserable from leaves a Greyhound crackle in the bus, fallen state. Dead leaves, like Watchin’ from miserable leaves a Greyhound crackle in the bus, fallen state. Dead leaves, like dead dreams, whisper a Wonderin’ melody ofofthe when summer. I’ll The ititsong home isis––but Wonderin’ melody the when summer. I’llmake make The song home but aa reiteration reiteration of of happiness, happiness, that repeats itself over I’m and over home, the memories home, that I’mgoing and going overlike like home, thegoin’ goin’ memories home, thatplague plague the the mind mind and and give give no quarter . . . . The Greyhound Bare trees, way. their gaunt branches reaching for the The Greyhound Bare trees, way. their gaunt branches reaching for the sky, sky, perhaps in hope of refuge from fromthe thecold coldworld worldof ofthe theliving. living.This This salvation salvation may may not not come come – perhaps they will be People’s overlooked in tend to for People’seyelids overlooked eyelids intheir their tendplea, plea, tofall, fall, foreach eachisis but but one one more more entity entity in in a world of entities . . . . But driver’s wind sitting whistles tall, Butthe theThe The driver’s wind sitting whistles tall,in inthe theeaves, eaves, itit isis aa wind wind devoid devoid of feeling, unlike the soft breeze Iof of Summer, back the join cruel the sleeping of crowd or Ilie lie Summer, backand and the join cruel thewind wind sleeping ofWinter, Winter, crowd – – or the the hopeful hopeful murmuring murmuring wind of Spring, no, this We’re is but cold, sterile wind ........ We’re is butagoing agoing cold,home, home, sterilegoin’ goin’ windhome, home, The TheGreyhound Greyhoundway. way. -JohnBarlow, Barlow,1963 1963 -John Passin’by bythe themidnight midnightbars, bars, Passin’ Watchin’drunks drunksclimb climbinto intocars cars–– Watchin’ Hopin’ wives won’t cuss them outtoo too hard, hard, Hopin’ wives won’t cuss them out They’regoing goinghome, home,goin’ goin’home, home, They’re TheGreyhound Greyhoundway. way. The Anold oldman mandied diedin inback backof ofme, me, An People looking – trying to see, People looking – trying to see, Makeme methink thinkof ofbuzzards buzzardsin intheir their tree, tree, Make He’s going home, goin’ home, He’s going home, goin’ home, TheGreyhound Greyhoundway. way. The getoff offand andpeople peoplestare, stare, IIget NowI’m I’mwonderin’ wonderin’ififIIcare, care, Now A few more stops and they’ll berollin’ rollin’ home, home, A few more stops and they’ll be They’regoing goinghome, home,goin’ goin’home, home, They’re TheGreyhound Greyhoundway. way. The
-Kirsten Kratina, Kratina, 1976 1976 -Kirsten four forty-four forty-four four
STRANDED: The Last of the Big-time Disaster Movies Walkin’Now, downwith thatthe moonlit road, vigorously down upon the snow-covered lawns, it sun shining One more andbeen I’ll be home,more than a big joke. Now, nestled safely in the coach seemed likemile it had nothing Now I’mofwonderin’ justdesperation how much of I’vethe learned, section the 737, the morning before all blurred like the proverbial By goin’ home,ofgoin’ home, remembrance things past. The day had started normally enough, lacking the grim The Greyhound way. foreboding that was supposed to accompany the hours before a disaster . . . *** -Peter Rogers, 1975 I looked through sleep-covered eyes at the far window. The sky was overcast, unusual for the weather we had been having lately, weather with temperatures pushing 70. Still, I thought nothing of it. Colorado weather was nothing if not unpredictable, and the mornings often began wintery. I rolled over and put my face into the pillow. I had an hour before my last final exam and four hours after that before my flight left Colorado Springs airport. Just as I was beginning to fall back off to sleep, the window fell in. The sudden blast of cold air rushed into the room and the snow which had been piled against the window fell into the room. “Hey!” shouted my roommate from the top bunk, “Shut the hell up! I’m trying to get some sleep! He pulled his covers snug around his neck and wiped the grease out of his face. Frantically, I scrambled up from the bed and, throwing my grappling hook toward the cloud-obscured peak of the drift, began my ascent. In my underwear. Needless to say, it was somewhat uncomfortable. As the frostbite began to numb my legs and I had finished the temporary wall, I heard a knock at the door. “Come in!” I shouted over the roar of the wind. “It’s about time you got outta bed, Gordo,’’ said David Yoncell, walking lethargically into the room, “Shoot, it’s cold in here! Why’n’a hell doncha get Hockett to give you some heat?” “Yoncell,” I said over the lessening roar of the wind; the wall was nearly completed, “Do you still have that snow-mobile in your closet?” He looked at me quizzically. *** The alcove could be described accurately at that point as mayhem. Several members of the senior class stood at the window on the second floor. The snow had piled to just under that window, and the hot breath on the window kept it clear. From there, the full extent of Condit, the damage -Phil 1968could be ascertained. Across the white expanse Penrose, the five forty-five
STRANDED: the The That Was Childhood STRANDED: The Last of theBig-time Big-time Disaster Disaster Movies cont. TheGreenery GreeneryThe ThatLast Wasof Childhood other could be Iother sunk teeth dorm, could beseen, seen,aagrey grey bulk bulk against against the the nearly-all-encompassing whiteness. Ihave havedorm, sunkmy my teeth On the roof, the only part of the dorm as yet uncovered higher into apple On roof, thered only part of the dorm as yet uncovered (Sage, our dorm, was on higher intoathe atempting tempting red apple ground) attempts and itrescue ground) attemptswere were being being carried carried out. out. Students were being brought up in andhere hererescue itcomes, comes, stretchers, what looked from covered collapses bursting hopes stretchers, what looked fromSage Sage like like oxygen oxygen masks masks over their faces. A few were covered collapsesmy my bursting hopes with sheets. inwith sheets.of inaashower shower ofplaster plaster “Will us Many “Willthey theyexpect expect usto to take take exams?” exams?” asked asked a third former from the corner. Many totally the totallyobstructing obstructing theview view menacing faces were conferring menacing faces weretoward towardhim. him. As As II sat sat in in one one corner of the congested room conferring built kindness builtout outofof kindness with Joe with JoeJompeen, Jompeen, fellowtroubleshooter, troubleshooter, aa strangled strangled cry was heard, followed by the by eyeballs bybulging bulging eyeballsaafellow crash ofofaround glass. ran to Kweer crash glass.We We ran tothe thewindow window and and fought fought our way to the front in time to see Kweer lurking the corner, lurking around the corner, McScottie gyrate out across the powder. (Gyrate it; he ran in much McScottie gyrate out across the powder. (Gyrate was the only word for much rivetingaaconcept conceptinto intomy myfuture future riveting same manner assparks duck.Rumor Rumor had had itit that that he he had been thrown headfirst into a haythe manner as aaduck. hayinaasame splash ofaging aging sparks inthe splash of baler back inhis his nativeMontana.) Montana.) As he he reached reached a point some twenty feet from the baler back in native radiating from central deception.As radiating from aacentral deception. windowhe hebegan beganslowly slowlyto tosink sink into into the the powder powder and, turning a pathetic face toward those window those of usatatclimbing thewindow, window,he hesank sankfrom from sight. sight. There There were were a few scattered bits of applause. People climbing of us the People By this time, some of the weaker-minded grind my innocence into the past Byinnocence this time, some of past the weaker-minded of the boarders had reached the breaking breaking grind my into the point. Joe, Yoncelland andIIwere weresitting sitting around around aa fire fire I had built in the center of my room; butI’ll I’llJoe, return point. Yoncell but return the heat hadbeen beenbig shutoff. off.We We heard heard aa scratching scratching at the door. We looked apprehensively break something big the heat had shut apprehensively break something toward the door. Polar bears had been sighted recently. a wild gleam in loud scream toward the door. Polar bears had been sighted recently. Esso Kety entered, in loud scream his eyes. I’llput put downmy mybooks books his eyes. I’ll down “Shoot, Esso;’ saidYoncell, Yoncell, “WE “WE THOUGHT THOUGHT YOU WERE A FRIGGIN’ POLAR and trot through thegrass grass Esso;’ said POLAR and trot“Shoot, through the BEAR AN’ YOU WASGOING GOING TO MAUL US!” watching for theanchor anchor chains of of my later life life blimp BEAR AN’ YOU WAS TO MAUL US!” watching for the chains my later blimp Esso looked him,aastrange strange look look in in his his eyes. eyes. “Maul?” “Maul?” he he said said in whichIIEsso mustlooked nottrip trip atathim, in aa strange strange voice. voice. which must not “No. My game is . . . tape!” So saying, he took a roll of adhesive tape from his hip pocket lest I wind up in grey gardens “No. game is grey . . . tape!” So saying, he took a roll of adhesive tape from his hip pocket lest I My wind up in gardens and, drawing forth lengthof of tape, tape, lunged lunged toward toward Joe. Joe. Joe Joe evaded evaded his his first twelve inchesforth bytwenty-four twenty-four and, drawing aalength first attempt attempt easily, easily, twelve inches by clamping a hand on the back of Esso’s neck and pulling him around towards the fire. dripping with various assorted potted people clamping a hand on the back ofpotted Esso’s neck and pulling him around towards the fire. There There dripping with various assorted people was a wild fear in Esso’s eyes as Joe forced him steadily toward the flames finally pressing and laughing caterpillars. was a wild fear in Esso’s eyes as Joe forced him steadily toward the flames finally pressing and laughing caterpillars. himonto ontothe thecoals. coals.Esso Essoscreamed screamed horribly. horribly. him “Shut up!” yelled my roommate from from the the top top bunk, bunk, “I’m “I’m trying trying to -Johnup!” Rogers VI,my 1966 “Shut yelled roommate to get get some some sleep!’ sleep!’ -John Rogers VI, 1966 *** *** JanetLaHug LaHugsat satat atthe thepay pay phone, phone, speaking speaking animatedly animatedly into into the the receiver. Janet receiver. “Yeah, “Yeah, yeah, I understand. I understand that there are sixteen-foot drifts on the roads. But yeah, I understand. I understand that there are sixteen-foot drifts on the roads. But why why can’tyou youget getan anairport airportlimousine limousine out out here?” here?” can’t two forty-six two forty-six
Joe leaned toward him and said, “You can’t get through to the airport, Jan. All the lines are down.” Jan looked at him and said, “I know. I was just passing the time.” He stood, spit skoal juice at the phone and walked off down the hall. Joe chuckled and sat down across the alcove from me. “They’re dropping like flies,” he said, “Janet’s the third one to go today.” “I know,” squeaked a voice from across the hall. We turned to see Walter Schweitzman laying, fetus-like in the corner of the alcove. “They’re all crazy,” he squeaked, “I’m beginning to think I’m the only sane one left.” He grinned. “Jubjub,” he squeaked, and rolled off down the hall. “Where’s Yoncell?” I asked Joe. “What time is it?” he said. “Four P.M.” “Oh, he’s still asleep.” Adolf Bowles goosestepped up the stairs, followed closely by Blatchy Pete, Kweer’s roommate. “Achtung!” he shouted, “THE BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED!” He glanced at his watch. Turning to Blatchy he said, “Zero hour minus ten minutes.” He goosestepped out the window into the drifts, followed closely by Blatchy Pete. Nine minutes later, Joe followed him. I glanced at my watch. Zero hour minus fifty-two seconds. I’m beginning to think I’m the only sane one left. -Adam Gordon, 1977
-Christof Brownell, 1987
three forty-seven
Dedication Dedication 9090 years ago, thethe first edition ofof thethe Athenaea years ago, first edition Athenaeawent wenttotoprint. print.9090years yearsago. ago.9090years years of of flipping through yellowed, quivering pages, ofofsnatching flipping through yellowed, quivering pages, snatchingupupwords wordsand andcaging cagingthem them in in stanzas. 9090 years of of one small turtle flitting throughout stanzas. years one small turtle flitting throughoutthe thelines linesofofprose. prose.9090years yearsofof colorful covers and varying fonts and ofof booklets colorful covers and varying fonts and bookletsbig bigand andsmall. small.9090years yearsofofchanging changingand and of of staying exactly thethe same. staying exactly same. AsAs wewe looked back onon our well-loved editions looked back our well-loved editionsthis thisyear yearand andindulged indulgedininthe theworks works of of semesters long gone, thethe time capsules wewe held semesters long gone, time capsules heldininour ourhands handsbuzzed buzzedwith withthe thetales talesthey they were dying tell. The little letters within conveyedheart-wrenching heart-wrenchinggrief, grief,unfettered unfettered were dying to to tell. The little letters within conveyed optimism, titillating romance, cynical speculation,and andadolescent adolescentcuriosity. curiosity.Behind Behindthe the optimism, titillating romance, cynical speculation, formalities and structures old, these forgottenstories storieswere werecrying cryingout outtotobebeheard. heard.And And formalities and structures of of old, these forgotten listened. so so wewe listened. welcome 90th edition the Athenaea,a compilation a compilationofofthe theworks worksofof So,So, welcome to to thethe 90th edition ofof the Athenaea, the generations of artists who came before us, clacking away at their typewriters and the generations of artists who came before us, clacking away at their typewriters and pencilling worlds into existence. Here’s the tickingclock clockthat thatpushes pushesususforward forwardfrom from pencilling worlds into existence. Here’s toto the ticking infancy senility, and moments betweenthe theblaring blaringpunctuations punctuationsofoftime. time. infancy to to senility, and to to thethe moments inin between Here’s to the crushing march of change, and to the things that have always remained the Here’s to the crushing march of change, and to the things that have always remained the same. same. -Claire Brown -Claire Brown
iii forty-eight iii forty-eight
Acknowledgements Faculty Sponsor Dave Reynolds, English Department Chair Editors
Lisbet Jackson Claire Brown Elisa Liu
Athenaea Staff Rene Aronson, Claire Brown, Ari Child, Arron Dorrance, Lisbet Jackson, Berg Sonderman, Quinn Lander, Elisa Liu, Francis Zhou Printed by Colt Print Services Athenaea is a publication of Fountain Valley School of Colorado.
-Mark Wong, 1986 one forty-nine