by. Emerald Kirk It’s Okay to be Gay Let’s have a seat. We need to talk. And before you go and tell me to fuck off like you normally do because “you don’t trust adults,” just hear me out. This is important. This is something you need to hear because no one in your life has told you this yet: It’s okay to be gay. There I said it! I know it’s shocking to hear this because being Filipino and Catholic, everywhere you went, you were told being gay is wrong, being gay is a sin, and that God hates gays. It’s ironic, isn’t it? Those same Christians who preach kindness, compassion, and love thy neighbor, are probably the same ones who would disown or even beat their child for being gay or a lesbian. It’s okay and completely normal to be gay. I’m telling you this because as soon as you realize who you are, you’ll finally be happy and at peace. I want you to be happy, and the only way you can do that is by being yourself. Stop pretending to be something that you’re not. Stop trying to go out with guys, when you just hate it. When every date you went on with a guy made you feel like something was wrong. When every kiss with a man made you want to gag from their breath that reeks of beer, popcorn, or smoke, when their bodies stink of sweat, body odor, and Axe. When every time you slept with a man, you felt sick and disgusted. Who are you trying to convince when you go off and sleep with those guys? Stop lying to yourself. You know you don’t enjoy it! You know you hate being touched by men! You know how bad it hurt because you couldn’t get wet! You know you had to drink just to have sex with them, and even then, you faked it despite how much it hurt. Your attraction to women is normal and natural. Do you remember your girl crushes? Hope Solo and Ashlyn Harris from the US Women’s Soccer Team, and Thais Picarte from the Brazilian Women’s Soccer Team? Do you remember dad asking you, “Why do you like them so much? They’re just goalkeepers!” But they weren’t “just goalkeepers” were they? You wished you could meet a girl as talented and beautiful as Hope Solo and Thais Picarte. In the back of your mind, you were jealous of Ali Krieger for always being with Ashlyn Harris. According to your diary, you wanted a girlfriend as charming and funny as Ashlyn Harris, decked out with tattoos, who “can sweep you off your feet.” You know the saying, “it gets better?” I know you’re tired of hearing it. As you sob into your pillow, I know it’s hard to believe it, but it is true. It does get better. Yes, you will have your ups and downs. You will fail out of your first university, but your second university is your home. You’ll fall in love and get your heart broken, but just keep going because you’ll find that person who loves you. You’re going to travel. You’re going to see London, Rio, and Buenos Aires. You’re going to write A LOT too, because you’re not just gay, you’re a writer, and you’re going to meet other writers and poets, some of which whom are gay and lesbian. You’ll have many friends too, and they will love you and accept you for who you are. In your dark brown eyes, I can see the confusion and pain of a sad and lonely girl. Vulnerable, shy, scared, misunderstood, lost, full of regrets, and made to feel ashamed of who she is. You hide all this under a guise of toughness and anger, when deep down you’re really sensitive and sweet. People like you because you’re sweet and kind, not because you’re “a badass,” like you pretend to be. I want to give you a hug and tell you how much I love you because I know that’s what you—we—need the most.
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