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Dreen Lucky
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by Dreen Lucky
Oh Man; The things I would have told myself – If only I would have listened Most of my life could be explained: “Well, that didn’t turn out as planned”. I used to think I was cursed. Often, I questioned what was wrong with me. Why, oh God why? That was my mantra from about age 15 to a few months ago. I saw patterns in my life but couldn’t see how utterly dependent I was on them. I couldn’t see how to change the patterns. I could only vaguely see patterns and only when it was extreme.
This brings me to my first piece of advice (I would have dismissed in my youth).
The voices in your head either motivate you or disintegrate you. Listen to them and discover your truth. The internal voice told you you’re not good enough? If you believe it, it becomes true. If you study it and learn where it came from, it loses its power.
Here is the scariest part though. Often, if you analyze that voice, you discover people who you trusted did you wrong. It opens a door to reliving hurt. Most of the time, this sucks!
Now, the most important piece of advice I couldn’t have listened to in my youth. We learn more in fear and failure than we learn in success. No one ever dropped to their knees and screamed “Why?” while enjoying life. No one sought a better life and cleared up their issues while happy with what they have. People change because holding on hurts more than letting go. We change because it hurts, and we want to avoid hurt. When the result hurts, we aim to get a different result. Recovery doesn’t just happen though. Unfortunately, we get comfortable in dysfunction and if improvement doesn’t net immediate results – it is easy to give up on that too. It is a cycle.
This leads me to the only advice I took: Break the cycle. Live out of your comfort zone. Live the life YOU WANT, not the life you were given. Don’t let those voices dictate your success. YOU were given this life and if you let negative life influences run it, then are you even living it? It will be hard. It will take time. It will require you to be patient with yourself. But it will be worth it.
