Table of Contents Cover Stories 06 Hello Gemini 07 MET GALA inspired outfits 12 Lindz Picks: Premium Junk 15 Domestic Violence: The Facts
18 Rachelle Chevrin:
Dirty Laundry Be You… Be Fit 08 Get Bootylicious this summer Be Nailtastic 09 Creative Nails Be Lindzylicious 10 Lindz Picks Your must have items this month
Be Summertime Fine 11 Summer’s Hottest Trends Photo Credit: Denny Clark Photography
Chev Magazine is a refreshing publication with fun, upbeat, encouraging, and positive articles and features to help the ordinary woman do/be/ look extraordinary.
Credits Editor-In-Chief Rachelle Chevrin Final Copy Editor Iman Ford Creative Consultant/Liaison Lindz Dillinger Director/Consultant/Graphics Michael Forbes Stylist Doris T. Artistry Writers Michael Forbes Doris Torres Judy “Ladi In Blue” Murcia Rachelle Chevrin Cover Picture Credit Joaquina Photography– 2009 Cover designed by Michael Forbes
“Teamwork Makes the Dream work”
My Dirty Laundry?? Am I Crazy? Notes from the publisher I'm not one to selfpromote. I'll promote the heck out of the next person. But when it comes to me and my life, I always take the humble and private route. But me telling my story isn't about self promotion. It's about sharing my testimony in hopes that maybe one person may see themselves in my mirror and make better choices then I did. It all started in April of 2004. I was coming out of a horrible situation. I was a young single mother of a 7mth old baby boy....Actually, the story really started from when I was 19 and pregnant with my first child. The Jehovah Witness church I was a part of shunned me (I was dis-fellowshipped) for having a child out of wedlock. When my child turned 3mths old, my parents threw me out of their home (for the second time in my life) for the same reason the church kicked me out for. I drove to new York with my newborn in hopes of getting help from the child's father up there. Those plans didn't work and instead I found myself fleeing out of the Buffalo new York airport 4mths later. At the airport is where I met my ex. He had all the right words to say to comfort me in my current situation. We were an instant couple. Not so much love at first sight, but I completely truly believed I needed him. I felt like I had no one in my corner to help me. How would I ever make it in life with an infant and only a high school diploma? According to my mom, all hopes were lost for me. A month after meeting my ex, he legally adopted my child. And few days later that same month, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. When I told him the news he completely changed personalities on me. He grabbed me by the neck and tried drowning me in the kitchen sink. That was how the abuse began. That was merely a month into our "relationship". I immediately ran to my mom. Begged her to help me leave this man. Her advice was "you're on your second child. You have no job, no money, and no education. No one is going to want you. You need to make the best out of this situation with this man."
The "situation" with that man was downhill from that first moment. The next 4 years of my life after that first moment was filled with nothing but the worst hellish experiences you can think of. -my second son was born with a spot on his head where hair wonâ€™t grow because this man kicked me so hard while pregnant I fell thru a window. When he kicked me he hit the child while in my stomach. -this man used to put books over my head to beat me so that it would not leave any bruises. -I have a scar on my back from where this man tried to cut my spine because he felt like "If you're crippled you can never leave me". -I have multiple scars on my wrist from where he tried taking my life and make it look like a suicide. -I once ended up in a hospital overdosing on aspiring because he forced me to swallow a whole extra large bottle of Bayer aspirin by repeatedly punching me in my face. I was 8 months pregnant at the time. -this man's fetish was to choke me until I passed out so he could have his way with me physically. I had 2 children from those horrible episodes. Those are just some of the events I have the courage to speak on so far from what I've been thru with this man. It's been 5 years since I've left him. Yet there's not a day that goes by that I don't look over my shoulders, thinking of this man's promise to me: That when I die and leave this earth. It would be by his doing. I tell my story not to seek attention. But to testify that indeed "you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you". I was able to leave that horrible situation. One morning God granted me the strength to leave him and start over with my children. God also blessed me with the wisdom and clarity to understand that although some of my children were conceived through evil actions, they were HIS blessings. And there's not a moment in my life where I doubt that. I share my story with only one hope. That it touches at least one woman. That she can look at my life and see that GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS. And He answers them in HIS time. And when He grants you that strength, it's only half the battle. His spirit will accompany you each step of the way. But it's ultimately physically YOU who has to do the work. And that work is never ending.
MET GALA Aspiring Looks To Fit Every Budget! This year, once again, was the annual Met Gala 2013, and the theme was crazy! This year it was a "punk star" theme and some of these celebrity went far outtttt (i.e. Kim Kardashian & miley cyrus, lol). Overall, I really enjoyed most of the looks. Since most jobs or events will not allow for that type of attire, I (w/ the help of Chev Magazine she only gets the credit for the idea; I did the styling. teehee) decided it would be fun to recreate the looks for the everyday women.
For more every day fashion ideas, be sure to check out www.LawAbidingFashion.com
Be You, Be Fit
Get Bootylicious this summer Butt Toning exercises from the pages of Cosmopolitan magazine The Kickback We love this easy move. To do it, start out on all fours. For 90 seconds, kick your right leg straight out behind you at a 45 degree angle to the floor. Do the same with your left leg. Repeat this three times. Side-Walking Lunges This exercise tightens up the outer part of your butt: Instead of lunging forward and backward, step out to the side, bend your right knee and lunge sideways. Repeat 10 times, and then switch to your left side. The Hydrant This exercise targets your glutes and hips. Start out on all fours, and keeping your right knee bent, lift it up to the side until it’s parallel with your hips (like a dog peeing on a fire hydrant). Do this for 90 seconds on each side, and repeat this rotation three times. Kettlebell Swings Kettlebell swings burn calories and tone your bod. Start with a light kettlebell in both hands, with your feet hip width apart. (Doing this at home? Use a milk jug with a screw cap—it works just like a kettlebell.) Swing the bell toward the back of your body and then thrust your hips and thighs forward while swinging your arms in front. Squat down when you bring it back toward the ground and repeat. Do this three times for 30 or 45-second intervals.
The Hip Extension Start out on all fours and, keeping your right leg bent, push it back until it’s in line with your spine, with your foot and upper thigh parallel to the ceiling. Do this for 90s seconds and then do the same with your left leg.
Be You, Be Nailtastic
Creative Nails The history of nail designs and manicure goes back 7,000 years. It is a major part of the beauty industry. The trend for nails has gone from French to glitter. No trend really fades, just improves and gets super creative. From decals, free style nail art, metallic, all glitters, stones, gel polish, acrylics, to shellac...this year the nail game has revamped and the trends keep going. They get more creative, some busy and some simple. Others simple with a pop of art or spunk. Whatever you set your mind to, whatever ideas you have, a good nail tech will make it happen. Instagram is flooded with amazing nail techs and artists. Here are a few pics of great nail designs. Great popular polishes are: Essie, Butter London, Channel, Gelish, Dior, CND Shellac, O.P.I and so many more! The shape trends are becoming more creative from your square nails to your squovals, ovals, lipsticks to stiletto shapes. Some very popular art is 3d sculpted designs out of acrylic. Check out these cool designs.
Be You, Be Lindzylicious Lindzâ€™ Picks -CHEVâ€™s Creative Director/Consultant gives you a checklist for must haves this month. Pay attention, Class is in session. Pravana pastel colors colors-- perfect for summer www.pravana.com
Slogan Snapbacks Snapbacks-One of the hottest trends on the urban fashion market
Be You, Be Summertime Fine
Summerâ€™s hottest trends By Doris Torres
From manis to shoes this summer the statements are bolder and the accessory trends are more unique. Here's some of my picks.
OmbrĂŠ lips are the new trend this summer. Spruce up your summer dress, your bathing suit, or your short set with sizzle lips that demands attention.
Be You, Be Fashionable Lindzâ€™ Picks:
Introducing Premium Junk Follow @premiumjunk on Instagram for ladies & gents one of a kind pieces. Their Varsity jackets have been featured on Chris Brown's official dj, DJ Babey Drew of vh1's Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. For orders email owner Keith Dixon @ PremiumJunk82@gmail.com
Domestic violence can affect anyone. I f you are in immediate danger, please call 911. If you need information, want to ask a question or need someone to talk to, we encourage you to call Floridaâ€™s toll-free statewide hotline 1-800-500-1119 or to find a certified domestic violence center near you go to Local Services. You are not alone â€“ there is support and assistance for you. All calls and services are confidential
Domestic Violence: The Facts
What is Domestic Violence? It is a pattern of controlling behaviors – violence or threats of violence – that one person uses to establish power over an intimate partner in order to control that partner’s actions and activities. Domestic violence is not a disagreement, a marital spat, or an anger management problem. Domestic violence is abusive, disrespectful, and hurtful behaviors that one intimate partner chooses to use against the other partner. You may be experiencing domestic violence if your partner is doing any of these or other unwanted behaviors: Hurting you physically – slapping, hair pulling, straggling, hitting, kicking, grabbing, excessively squeezing or shaking, twisting your arms, burning you, or intentionally injuring you in any way Using your children against you Calling you names and hurting you emotionally Harming your pets Acting with extreme jealousy and possessiveness Isolating you from family and friends Threatening to commit suicide or to kill you Controlling your money Withholding medical help Stalking you Demanding sex or unwanted sex practices Hiding assistive devices Minimizing the destructive behavior Threatening to “out” you if you are Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual or transgendered Controlling you with “that certain look in his eyes” or certain gestures If you are a victim of abuse, you are never to blame. It is not your fault. All of the tactics above are abusive, and
some may also constitute a crime under Florida Statutes.
What is the Florida’s Legal Definition of Domestic Violence? As defined in law: 741.28 Domestic violence; definitions. --As used in ss. 741.28-741.31: "Department" means the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. "Domestic violence" means any assault, aggravated assault, battery, aggravated battery, sexual assault, sexual battery, stalking, aggravated stalking, kidnapping, false imprisonment, or any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another family or household member. "Family or household member" means spouses, former spouses, persons related by blood or marriage, persons who are presently residing together as if a family or who have resided together in the past as if a family, and persons who are parents of a child in common regardless of whether they have been married. With the exception of persons who have a child in common, the family or household members must be currently residing or have in the past resided together in the same single dwelling unit. "Law enforcement officer" means any person who is elected, appointed, or employed by any municipality or the state or any political subdivision thereof who meets the minimum qualifications established in s. 943.13 and is certified as a law enforcement officer under s. 943.1395. It’s about your Safety! Your safety is important and making informed decisions about staying or leaving an abusive relationship is critical to your safety. You are the expert in your own life and the only one who knows what is right and safe for you. Florida’s certified domestic violence centers have trained advocates who are dedicated to assisting you with finding options and developing your safety plan.
Do I Need a Safety Plan? If you are experiencing domestic violence, you may want to consider developing a safety plan. A safety plan is for: individuals living with an abuser – because danger can occur at anytime individuals planning to leave – because few abusers allow their partners to leave peacefully individuals living away from the abuser – because danger often increases after a survivor leaves or ends the relationship The trained advocates at one of Florida’s 42 certified domestic violence centers or a hotline advocate at the toll-free statewide hotline – 1-800-500-1119 – can help you plan.
What are Some Safety Tips in the Meantime? Identify a safe place to go if an argument occurs – avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom) or rooms with weapons (kitchen). Calls for assistance should be made from phones in safe locations.
a library or an internet café. If someone is threatening you or your children, take the threats seriously. Keep important items in a bag with someone you trust. Items include your identification papers/cards, keys, cell phone, bank statements, money, medicine, pictures of the family that include the abuser, proof of income, financial statements, visas, passports, green cards, insurance documents, birth certificates for you and your children, your partners personal information including date of birth, social security number, place of employment, license plate number. Change your shopping habits by choosing different grocery stores, retail outlets, etc. and change your travel routes to and from the stores. Change your travel routes to work, school, or places you travel to on a regular basis. Request confidentiality when working with agencies and religious organizations. Establish a code word so that family, trusted friends, teachers, or co-workers know when to call for help. Contact your local certified domestic violence center for assistance with safety planning.
If you use email or instant messaging, use a computer and an account your abuser does not know about, or use a more private computer at a trusted friend’s house,
If you need information, want to ask a question or need someone to talk to, we encourage you to call Florida’s toll-free statewide hotline 1-800-500-1119
Chev Magazine Publisher: Rachelle Chevrinâ€™s
Dirty Laundry By Michael Forbes
There are times in our lives where the best decision to
make may be the toughest thing for us to do. But it has to be made. So many people face these types of scenarios in their daily lives. And though we may not be close, we could relate from a distance. For the others that have and do not any longer, you can see the change in their actions, but the real story, you have to get by learning. One thing’s for sure, you’ll always find your Blessing. In this feature interview we learn by personal experience from the very beginning with Chev Mag’s Publisher herself Rachelle Chevrin: Dirty Laundry. Hey Rachelle I first would like to say Happy Birthday, you’ve had one recently. And then we are going to get right into the laundry basket. Starting from the beginning on your earlier childhood. With much anticipation our readers would like to know where are you from? Thank you! I’m finally 30! Lol I’m a grown up now! True Gemini over here! Lol #BetterBelieveIt! Hahaha Anyways, lol, In answer to your question, I'm from Haiti. Born and raised by my grandma and my aunt from birth to age 10 and lived in a big house with about 5 of my cousins. My childhood was blessed. Very happy. I look back now and think of the no running water, no electricity, and having to walk at least a mile to and from school (no school buses). Not to mention the violence we were surrounded by. It all sounds like it was a rough life. But truthfully it was a great simple life with plenty memories and filled with love. I agree, that’s our childhoods do have a lot to do with how we are as people. Do you miss Haiti and what was your first year of America like when you got here? I miss Haiti everyday!!! The culture there is so rich! Roles are still defined. Values are still held at high standards! My first year in America was horrible! I didn't know the language. I couldn't understand the culture. And I was placed in the 8th grade and the kids were mean. They made fun of my hair, my clothes, my accent. But I used the bullying as motivation. By the end of that summer,
by the beginning of 9th grade. I had mastered the English language from studying all summer (watching CNN all day and using my English/French dictionary to translate everything. I also made friends with Katie Ouderkirk. My first American friend. She helped me a lot with pronunciations.) So although my first year started horribly it ended not too bad at all. So starting from High School, what were you like? Were you with the in crowd? Did you keep to yourself? Give us some insight. I was a complete nerd in high school. I was focused. In Haiti you have to pay for school, uniforms, books, etc....From kindergarten to college. And here I was in a country where education was FREE? I was loving it!!! I took all advanced classes I wanted to soak up all the knowledge I could. Of course I missed out on the fun stuff like making friends and hanging out and going to dances. So if I could do high school over, I would totally balance it more. Such a nerd. Hahaha. After completing have you thought about furthering your education and going to college? I was booksmart. Yes. Street smart not so much. Lol. And yes my plans was to graduate high school and go to college and get a degree in business. But life had other plans I guess. Other plans? What was your first year out of high school like? When I graduated I got kicked out of my parents home and was forced to put my college dreams on hold. I ended working at the high school instead. Translating for the creole students. I graduated at age 17 in may. Day of graduation I was offered the translating job. So that August I started working at the school.
So early on you had to take care of you. How old were you when you got into your first relationship and as a young women with dream and goals, did you balance well? How did family receive this?
So the abusive relationship. Share that experience with us. Was it that way from the beginning of when you first met him or was it later on? Did family members who knew about it make attempts to intervene?
I made a complete mess of my love life from early on. I had my first boyfriend as a sophomore in high school. But that relationship sucked, we were broken up more then we were together. Mainly because I was really focused on school and wasn't at all ready for sex. Lost my virginity at 17 after I graduated and I had no clue what I was doing when it came to boys (in the sense of being in a healthy relationship). I ended up pregnant with my first child at age 19. I was no longer employed at the school. I had discovered weed and alcohol and was a complete wild child. Getting pregnant woke me up and changed my life. But then I ended up in an abusive relationship right after my son was born and spent the next 3 years after that in the most horrible relationship you could ever imagine. Only good thing came out of that relationship was my other 3 children. Adding to my son. Making 4 kids total. They are every breath I take. My dad disowned me for having a child out of wedlock and my mother turned her back on me as well. I was completely left to my own decision makings and it seemed like I chose wrong at every turn.
By the time the abuse started, I was already pretty much isolated from all my family and the friends I did have. That's the first sign of abuse. He'll start controlling where you go, who you talk to, acting jealous, then slowly and slowly he'll start having an issue with everyone you come in contact with. Giving you one reason or another as to why you shouldn't have that person in you life. Then surely people will start falling back one by one. Mainly because they don't wanna deal with this baggage of a person you got in your life. Once you have no one to turn to, and he's controlling all your moves, then the physical abuse start. All the while, even before the physical abuse, even before everyone has completely deserted you, he would have torn your spirit so completely down. Having you believe that you are worthless, that only THEY could ever appreciate you, and that you cannot live without them. Truth be told, after my first coma this man had put me through, I was on my 2nd child then, and 2 years into the abuse, I had completely given up. I didn't care about life, not one bit. I thought I was worthless, and I truly believe that when I died, it would have been at the end of this man. And at that point in my life, I was ok with that. Guess you could call it suicide by spouse. I cant begin to even describe what it felt like to live day to day waiting for your spouse to end your life. I had no motivation to live. I felt like I had no purpose.
Wow. That must be hard to deal with so much at such an early age. Were there any support from siblings or close friends? My brother helped when he could. He has always been my lifeline. My oldest brother was deported to Haiti in 2003 and committed suicide in 2006. My oldest sister is a Jehovah Witness and has shunned me from her life after I was dis-fellowshipped (kicked out of the church) in 2003 when they found out I was having a child out of wedlock. My other 2 siblings are considerably younger then me so they couldn't really help. As far as friends, since I spent my high school days focusing on school versus building friendships, I didn't really have anyone to run to. Plus, someone once told me that "help" is the hardest word for me to say. Lol
There had to have been a breaking point, at what point of the relationship did you think about leaving? It wasn't until I ran across a guest speaker at the local college I had started taking classes at, she was speaking on domestic violence, after her speech, I realized, hey! that's me! I'm the abused woman she is talking about! There is help! there's an out! I don't have to die like this.
That same night, my ex beat me to near a pulp because he swore I didn't go to school that night and that I was out cheating. After he went to sleep, I grabbed the kids, called my brother and told him to come pick me up. At that point, I hadn't spoken to my brother in a few years and I was on my 3rd child. He came and picked me up right away and took me to a payphone, from there I called the local domestic violence shelter and a cab picked me up. Fast forward to a month after being in the shelter, he saw me walking one day (we couldn't take any direct cabs or rides to the shelter) and he grabbed one of the kids. He told me if I wanted to see my child again, I would come back home. So back home I went. But I had the shelter write me a letter stating how I looked when they picked me up, that I was in an abused relationship, and that if I was to give that letter to a cop it meant my life was in danger. He was livid when I returned home from the shelter. I got the worse beating of my life that night. The next morning we drove down to the courthouse to get married (He wanted a guarantee that I wouldn't leave him again). That trip to the courthouse was hell. Standing up in front of the clerk saying “I Do” was the worst moment of my life. It took a couple of years after that I left him to find out that marriage wasn't legal because he was already married at the time we exchanged those vows. Thank God for the small blessings. I couldn't live with the thought of actually being married to that man! Back to the story at hand, fast forward a couple of months after I left the shelter, I found out I was pregnant with my 4th child. I had a new outlook on life, I wanted to live. I wanted to give my children a better childhood. So after convincing him to go to the Laundromat with me (I wasn't allowed to leave the house without him), we packed up the kids clothes and we both got in the car with the kids. Instead of making that turn to the Laundromat, I pulled into a police station parking lot, put the car on park and ran to the station door and when an officer came out, I handed him the letter I got from the shelter director. That was my deliverance. I didn’t see him for 5 years after that day. I was freed from my relationship hell.
And now I'm so thankful I found my courage when I did. Wow, your bravery is so inspiring. So we have to know, did you love this man? I can honestly say No. I did not love that man. When I met him, my first son was 7 months old, almost 8. We met in April, in May, I was pregnant with my second son. That’s when the honeymoon phase ran out of the relationship. The second I told him I was pregnant, he flipped out and dried drowning me in the kitchen sink. Everything only went downhill from that moment. He was on drugs really heavy (coke & crystal meth), whenever I would run to my mom after a beating she would always take me back to him and told me I HAD to work it out for the sake of my kids. My pregnancies were rough. His sexual fetish was to choke me until I passed out so he could have his way with me. Those episodes got me pregnant twice times. Not that I regret my children. Not one bit. But just to give you an idea that the relationship was hell from month two until the end of it. If I was to go into details about the mental, physical, emotional and sexual abuse I suffered at the hand of that man, I’d fill up the pages of a book the size of a dictionary.
switch up and do more of a lifestyle type of magazine, one not focus on music sorely. And its a real struggle to continue. Because as your kids get older, you realize how fast time is flying by and you don't wanna miss a moment in their life. So yes, the publishing life gets overwhelming and it takes alot of motivation and dedication to keep at it.
After getting out of that abusive relationship you had freedom. What was it like, the lifestyle change going from being smothered, commanded and taken advantage of to meeting celebrities and running a publication?
Deep. There are moments in our lives where the things around us can be symbolic of what we are experiencing in ourselves. That motivational speaker was able to change a life. You eventually went on to publish Ford Entertainment Magazine. How did this relationship affect your spirit to do be a success? Before I got with my ex, I wanted to get a degree in business and run my own entertainment magazine. I was obsessed with cosmopolitan magazine and I wanted nothing more then to have my own mag or write a book, or do something meaningful in life. So after I left my ex, I decided to make my dreams come true. If only so that I could teach my kids that no matter how late a start you get in life, its never too late to start over and realized your goals. So I got my degree and started my mag. That relationship taught me that it takes nothing for someone to play with your mind and make you a prisoner in your self. But that the greatest freedom can come from simply deciding "I'm not gonna do this anymore." What was it like to balance chasing your dreams and personal life? Were there times it got overwhelming? It was and still is extremely overwhelming. Especially with kids so young. But it takes alot of determination. I ran my music magazine for a while, then wanted to
I was like a kid in a candy store! Lol while doing Ford magazine, I was able to meet some of the top independent artists, models, photographers, designers (you name it) in the industry as well as some of the major players and CEOs. The music industry is like a big party every night. The harder I worked. The stronger the drinks were lol. But although that lifestyle sounds like a lot of glitz and glamour it's not always that way. Some of that glitter wasn't gold. A lot of people want to be around you for what you can do for them and they use you and screw you over without a second thought. And it's hard to keep your focus on what's real and what's not, who's on your team and who's plotting against you, and most importantly it's hard to maintain your spirituality while living inside of a fog. And not only that, I learned that as you begin your journey, people are your biggest cheerleaders. But as your accomplishing the goals you've set for yourself, people begin to resent you. And they then make it their goal to tear you down. I couldn't live like that. A lot of ppl are able to balance the music lifestyle and make it work for them. I couldn't. Although Ford Magazine reached a higher level of success then what I would ever imagine it could, I had to step away from the lifestyle and focus on my family and my spirituality.
If you can go back to earlier years and visit the younger Chelle. What years would you choose and what would you say to her? My now 30 year old Chelle, if I could, would visit a few ages in my past life. I would visit my 10 year old self to let her know, that being sexually abused by a family member at such a young age was not her doing. That it shouldn’t affect her teenage life into thinking that no one could be trusted and to not allow that violation to stop her from making real lifelong friends and for her to learn how to let people into her heart and not always expecting them to hurt her because that ultimately drives people away. I would then visit my 14 year old self, as she moved to the United States. To let her know to embrace this American culture. To consider that move a brand new start and to enjoy her childhood and not be such a geek. I would then visit my 17 year old self as she graduated high school to tell her to try harder to get into college. To fill out the necessary paperwork to achieve that goal. To not let her parents discourage her. Id then tell my 21 year old self that mama is not always right. That having just ANY man is not good enough. That she is beautiful and smart and that she don’t have to settle. I would tell her that no one deserves to be treated like trash. No one deserves to be beaten, choked, stabbed, and sexually taken advantage of. Especially by a man who claims he loves her. I would tell her that if she was to leave that relationship before she turned 24, she would be ok. Life would go on. And she will find happiness again. So many women have faced this tragic experience in the past and so many are going through it today. If you can share a few words with them, what would you say? My advice to anyone who’s in an abusive relationship is that YOU DON’T HAVE TO SETTLE FOR THIS! A lot of women are in abusive relationships yet don’t know it. Its sad. Because they’re happy a great percentage of the time and he hits her “only” when he gets mad. They don’t realize that abuse is not just physical. Its emotional, verbal, sexual and so on…
If I could speak to a group of women right now, I would tell them to look for the signs of abuse early on in the relationship. Don’t make excuses for him and DON’T ACCEPT IT! His extreme jealousy is not cute. Him calling you a b*tch and a whore and telling you that you’re worthless is not acceptable. Him slapping you when yall argue is not just “an anger problem”. And him being abusive “only when he drinks or does drugs” is not excusable. And to the women who are in that situation right now, I would tell them to STAND STRONG. Call out to God and asks him to give you strength. Contact your local domestic violence shelter. They have a MULTITUDE of resources to help you start over. And know that most importantly, that man is NOT going to change. I would also tell these women to also accept the sad reality that even after you leave, if you have children with this person, that man is NEVER GONNA GO AWAY! Once he realizes he has lost his power over you, he will attempt to make your life HELL. But know that you don’t OWE HIM ANYTHING! And your children come first. So don’t be afraid of filing for that restraining order, filing for sole custody (or if a judge grants split custody asks that there is a mediator when it comes time to deal with the children) and most importantly, don’t be afraid of cutting off ALL (unnecessary) contact. Because trust and believe that type of person’s main goal is to get back under your skin and they will use whichever ruse they can to do just that. You should always thrive to be one step ahead.
Thank You Rachelle Chevrin for taking the time out to share such a triumphant story that continues to live on. Domestic Violence can happen to anybody, and the problem is often overlooked or not taken as serious. Most of the time it’s happening longer because of excuses and denial. It’s even worse when it’s psychological. Noticing the signs and acting earlier is the best way to step to ending it. If you or anyone you know or love is experiencing this, you can make an initial step by filing a report with your local non emergency police line. And remember no one is better than you unless you let them think so! Thank you for reading as we give you another issue of featured pack lifestyle and entertainment for the Hip, Elegant and Classy Vixen. ♠