Just for Her Issue 18

ISSUE 18

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WEDDING WORRIES

Bu llet Jou rna lin g

Hygge

GENDER FLUIDITY

Your Home

0f

ust J Her

EXTREME SPORTS

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Directory for the Wives, Girlfriends and Families of Military Personnel

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JustHer for

Hygge Your Home

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Shop The Highstreet

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Home-Start

14

Wedding Worries

18

Just a Thought By Katie V

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The Corse of True Love Never Did

Welcome to issue 18 of Just for Her… This issue sees the launch of our new feature Pin-tested. If you’re anything like the Just for Her team you’ll be addicted to Pinterest and have hundreds of pins on all types of boards! But have you ever tried any of the ideas you’ve pinned?!

Neither have we… but things are going to change! Each issue we’re going to make/try some of the things we’ve pinned and give you our verdict!

If you’ve come across Bullet Journaling on Pinterest and you’re the organised type (or wish you were) then you should definitely read our article and give it a go.

We have a focus on exercise in this issue and are pleased to bring you Operation Drop-a-Size which is a fitness programme, perfectly tailored for military life. If walking is your exercise of choice but you’re struggling to reach the recommended 10,000 Steps a day then we’ve got some tips to make it easier. Or perhaps it’s an adrenaline rush you’re after? We’ve been digging through the archive and found a great article we ran on Extreme Sports which is well worth another read.

After all the exercising, you’re going to need to relax and what better way to do so than with a refreshing cocktail (or 3!) which you can make by following the recipes in our A to Z of Cocktails. If you will be sipping them whilst on holiday, see if you can spot the classic Tourist Types and decide which category you fall into!

With wedding season in full swing, don’t panic if you’re faced with a problem and instead, consult our article on what to do when things go wrong.

Relationships take work and Gemma Richardson is back with some great advice in The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth.

Having children adds a new dimension and we speak to the charity Homestart about the specific support available to military families.

It’s a jam packed issue and whatever you are doing this summer, make time to sit down and enjoy it with a cuppa! For anyone that would like to contribute to the next issue the closing date for contributions is 28th August.

Run Smooth

22

Your Home Patch

26

Military WAGS Choir

28

Military & Me

30

A to Z of Cocktails

34

Bullet Journaling

40

Pin-tested!

44

Outstanding Oats

50

Operation Drop-a-Size

54

10,000 Steps

56

Gender Fluidity

60

Beach Ready

64

Extreme Sports: What’s the Appeal?

72

Fashion Lookbook

66

Quick Getaways

76

Tourist Types

78

Cities A to Z - Oslo

82

Many thanks to Kate Saines and Rebecca Smith for their editorial contribution

Until next time…

Enjoy!

Articles and photographs reproduced by kind permission of the contributors © No responsibility for the quality of goods or services advertised in this magazine can be accepted by the publishers or printers. Advertisements are included in good faith. The MOD or any Service Establishment is not responsible for the advertiser or its advertised product or service.

Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU. Tel: 01933 419994 www.forcespublishing.co.uk justforher@forcespublishing.co.uk @justforhermag Editorial: Joanna Barnes Design: Amy Leverton

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NATIONAL

I

Say Goodbye to

nsomnia

Sleep is vital to health, to memory and cell regeneration. There will always be periods in our lives though, where we lie wide awake hating the clock for not showing morning yet. Aromatherapy can be a wonderful help for sleep problems.

Fundamentally, there are two types of insomnia.

Often it can be a secondary condition because of pain or depression for instance. Primary insomnia -where there seems to be no other outward signs- might be a long or short term problem.

Aromatherapy helps both types of sleeplessness.

Sleep Hygiene Research shows that having a good sleep routine can have long term beneficial effects on sleep.

Setting up a regime where you wind down and condition your mind to switch off, not only reduces the effects of stress but may help you to get to sleep quicker and remain in deeper sleep for longer.

Consider burning essential oils in a diffuser or evaporator to relax you and create a more peaceful environment. Lie in a warm bath of essential oils, indulge in a massage or just

for Good.

spend some times inhaling the oils.

All engage with the mind to help it to remember how to go to sleep.

How Essential Oils Affect the Body Look at your arm, and notice where hairs are growing. Each hair is connected to a pore, and is a pathway for the oils to access the blood and to circulate to parts that need them.

Every receptor has myriad functions meaning there are many different routes essential oils can use to help you sleep.

Studies reveal it will take 19 minutes for an oil to be fully absorbed through the skin and into the circulatory system.

How Essential Oils Affect the Mind

Once in the system, each essential oil molecule binds with receptors in your body.

As we inhale the molecules they very quickly access the limbic system.

Every cell is covered in receptors which act like locks guarding the way into the cells that cause chemical changes in your body. Constituents within the oil then act as ligands -that is like keys - that will open the receptor.

This primitive part of our brain maybe one of our earliest evolutionary tools. Not only is our sense of smell housed here, but also our emotions, memory and learning protocols.

As they do, bringing about powerful alterations in the way your body works.

A simple example of how it might work is when caffeine acts as a ligand to the adenosine receptor.

This receptor controls whether you are awake or a sleep.

Caffeine switches it up making us very awake and alert. Other functions also include increasing heart rate and palpitations. For this reason, we advise reducing caffeine intake to improve sleep.

Many of you will recognise how when you notice some aromas you are instantly transported back to a random time in the past.

This forms a quintessential part of aromatherapy and the reason why, although I can make recommendations about the physical properties of an oil, ultimately it will be the emotions and memories it evokes that will lead you to a happier more restful place.

In short, it is important you choose an oil with an aroma you like.

Aromatic molecules affect

the mind very quickly and within about five minutes of using relaxing oils such as lavender and camomile most people say they feel calmer and uplifted.

Essential Oils in the Bath Add essential oils to your bath, to soothe away the day. Use comforting, warm (not scorching hot water) and add 5-10 drops of essential oil to the water.

The warm water is a wonderful way to relax and unwind tense and stiff muscles. Muscles are made up of many fibres. When we stretch, or exert them through exercise, bad posture, or tense up in a bad mood or anxiety, they use energy. The waste product from this reaction- lactic acid – becomes lodged between the fibres, crystallizes and then become painful and stiff.

Bathing in warm water relaxes the muscles fibres and encourages better blood supply to flush out the lactic acid.

Lying in the warmth of the water, exposes millions of pores, but it also gives a very fast access to the brain.

Essential Oils for Relaxation Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia), camomile (Anthemis nobilis) and mandarin (Citrus reticulata) are the most restful oils.

Geranium (Pelargonium graveolens) is wonderful in times of stress, especially about money.

Spikenard (Nardostachys jatamansi) is deeply sedative and is particularly useful if there is an element of fear involved in why you can’t sleep.

Vetiver (Vetiveria zizanoides) is a dark, viscous oil that takes an age to drip out of the bottle. Vetiver will not rush and it slows you right down. If your brain keeps racing, or you feel out of your mind with worry, vetiver grounds and comforts you.

Marjoram (Origanum majorana) is a specific for insomnia. A gentle oil, but this is the big gun when it comes to long term sleeplessness. Sedating the central nervous system, it resets the body clock and encourages your mind to stop going over and over things.

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Catnip (Nepeta cataria) The essential oil of the fragrant herb that drives cats into a euphoric frenzy is very good at relieving sleeplessness but can be very expensive because it has a very low yield of oil. Try cutting some catnip from the garden and placing it into your pillow, or soaking the flowers and leaves in your bath to release your very own essential oils.

Valerian (Valeriana officinalis) Acting on the same GABA receptors as benzodiazepine drugs do, valerian root essential oil brings a deep almost zombie like calm. These receptors are responsible for calming the body and relieving fear and restlessness responses.

If you are reluctant to do the sledgehammer essential oil approach, consider searching for a valerian and hop tea.

Hop (Humulus lupulus) Traditionally used to make beer, hops are a close cousin to cannabis and a deeply relaxing plant. Again, these bind to the GABA receptor, very quickly lulling us into a much calmer frame of mind.

Rose (Rosa damascena) One of the most expensive of our tools, but with good reason.

Rose is hormonal, treats depression especially grief and is wonderful for the skin. It is proven to bring about a hypnotic state that means we fall asleep more easily and stay that way longer. It is also proven to both relieve pain, but also reduce our perception of pain meaning we notice it much less too. (Not safe for use during pregnancy)

Pain More than anything else, pain is guaranteed to keep us awake, again oils such as lavender, camomile and frankincense are useful here, but essential oils that act on the CB” receptor are of the greatest help.

Part of an endocrine system, the CB2 receptor controls inflammation, immunity and pain in our bodies.

A constituent called beta caryophyllene has been identified as being able to bind to CB2.

Oils high in beta caryophyllene are as follows Copaiba (Copaiba langisdorfii) One of the best pain killing oils I know it is also a potent anti-inflammatory.

Black Pepper (Piper nigrum) This warming and bracing oil not only relieves pain but also stimulates the circulation, being especially helpful for rheumatism and arthritis that can be made worse by the cold.

Hemp (Cannabis sativa) Both High CBD hemp oil (CBD oil) and hemp essential oil are helpful for modulating the effects of the CB2 receptor.

CBD oil is rich in many ingredients, especially cannabidiol, that binds to the CB2 receptor. Containing extremely low levels of THC, CBD oil is neither psychoactive nor addictive, yet is profoundly helpful in helping anxiety, depression, PTSD and insomnia, amongst many other conditions.

CBD oil is a nutritional supplement that can be obtained online. It can be taken sublingually or added into essential oil massage blends.

Hemp essential oil does not contain any cannabinoids and will only help the pain aspects of the illness.

Restless Leg Syndrome Treatment is very simple. Soak in Epsom salts with Clary Sage (Salvia sclarea) and lavender (Lavandula angustifolia) in your bath before you go to bed. (Clary sage is not suitable for use during the first 37 weeks of pregnancy).

Hormonal Problems Menstrual pain and hormonal changes of menopause can often trigger sleeplessness. Rose (Rosa damascena), geranium (Pelargonium graveolens), ylang ylang (Cananga odorata) all balance fluctuations in the cycle, and used in combination with lavender and camomile can also relieve period pain.

Relieve hot flushes and night sweats with clary sage (Salvia sclarea) essential oil, if periods have completely ceased or Caste berry (Vitex agnus castus) for perimenopausal symptoms when you continue to bleed.

Use essential oils with care throughout pregnancy. Use only for inhalation during the first 16 weeks and of the above oils avoid rose and ylang ylang until 37 weeks. There are more in depth details about aromatherapy in pregnancy in my free book detailed below.

At the surface level, the above oils can make a tremendous difference, but I always would recommend visiting a qualified therapist to take the healing deeper. Many therapists, do as I do, offering not only massage treatments (which can be extraordinarily beneficial in these conditions) but also skype consultations and mail order of bespoke tailored treatments.

NATIONAL

Frankincense (Boswellia carterii) slows the breathing, and brings about a prayer like meditative calm. Not only does it bring about peaceful sleep but is also a wonderful help to relieve the irritation of coughs and colds. Opening the airways, it releases congestion bringing back peaceful nights of rest.

Taking the Therapy Deeper As an aromatherapist, I believe fervently that if the body is Elizabeth Ashley is screaming at you through the UK Director of the Nationsome outward symptom, like insomnia, al Association of Holistic Arothen the chances matherapists and an overseas speaker for are your mind the International Federation of Aromatherapists, may have been telling and the author of The Secret Healer Manuyou it is not als found on Amazon. Her first book The Comhappy about plete Guide to Clinical Aromatherapy and something for a while the Essential Oils of The Physical Body is now, but you available for free download on all ebook platforms. haven’t yet found a way to listen.

Situated in Ludlow, Shropshire she is available

for both face to face and skype consultations Often when this on 01584 529121 happens, we also see other ailments (www.thesecrethealer.co.uk) rearing their heads like headaches and gastrointestinal problems for instance.

The Secret Healer Unlock Your Healing Potential Elizabeth Ashley qualified in aromatherapy in 1993, and then graduated the Advanced Diploma of Aromatherapy in 1994 with honours. In 1999 she took a career change and became a recruitment consultant. Working in one of the world’s most aggressive sales arenas, she learnt what she deems to be her most important skill. She learnt to sell, sell, sell.

When, in 2008 her career was cut short by a blood clot in her lungs, Elizabeth decided to bring together her sales acumen and aromatherapy know how and start to write.

She is the UK director of the National Association of Holistic Aromatherapists, and an overseas speaker for the International Federation of Aromatherapists. A regular contributor to four professional journals, Elizabeth Ashley is also the author of the twenty Secret Healer aromatherapy manuals (available on Amazon) including one of the most detailed works about cannabis medicines available on the market.

The first book in the series “The Complete Guide to Clinical Aromatherapy and the Essential Oils of the Physical Body” is available to download for FREE from all ebook retailers.

Elizabeth Ashley Starns 01584 529121

The Secret Healer Writes

www.thesecrethealer.co.uk 5

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Hygge Your Home

Hygge (pronounced hoo-gah) is a Danish word best described as enjoying life’s simple pleasures…

Little things that bring you joy - oversized jumpers, cups of cocoa, a good book, crackling fireplaces, spending time with friends, even binging Netflix in your favourite, comfiest, tattiest pair of leggings or ‘hyggebukser’ (literally translated as a pair of sweatpants that you wouldn’t be seen dead in in public!) are considered to be hygge.

Originally created as a concept and lifestyle by the Danish in the 18th century, it is now a fundamental part of their culture and it seems that anything can become hyggelig (hygge-like). Hygge is happiness, comfort, peacefulness and togetherness, but what’s it got to do with interior décor?!

Whilst the word is meant to encompass the Danish way of life – encouraging simplicity, thankfulness and calm - it also embodies their décor and has fast become one of the biggest interior trends in recent years. The idea behind making your home hygge is to create serene, peaceful spaces that are free from clutter and mess. Mess can cause stress – the complete opposite of the hygge concept - and the term ‘tidy home, tidy mind’ has never been more appropriate than when making your home hygge.

Cosiness is key when it comes to hygge, and although the decor has been commonly associated with winter in the past with its heavy use of cosy furs, warm fires and candlelight, it has now become a year round look with people beautifully adapting it to suit all seasons. It isn’t all woolly socks and steaming cups of cocoa! For hygge-ing in Summer, think picnics in the park, long walks with friends, BBQ’s, bonfires and outdoor movie nights. For interiors

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think fresh flowers, bright open windows, light linens and taking the throws outside to cosy up on cooler summer evenings in the garden.

The best way to start to hygge your home is to go back to basics.

Have a good clear out of clutter and start with a bare room. Hygge has been compared to Marie Kondo’s theory from her 2014 book The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which inspired people to declutter their homes and only keep items that “sparked joy” when they held them. In reality, hygge is far more forgiving than Marie Kondo’s method, and whilst it is all about keeping things simple it also encourages people to live a little and say yes to things more.

When it comes to wall colours, hygge uses a neutral colour scheme, sticking to pale greys and crisp whites to encourage a peaceful and relaxing atmosphere, and furniture, ornaments and art should contrast well using natural colours such as black, brown, pale green, copper and cream. Whilst technology is by no means shunned in the hygge world, the main focus of a room shouldn’t be the TV or computer. Instead it could be the fireplace to sit around with friends, or a gathering area such as a cosy loveseat, comfy bed or an inviting dining room table.

Candles play a huge part in creating a hygge atmosphere. The Danes burn more candle wax than any other country in the world according to Wiking, so when the evenings draw in don’t reach for the lamp, light a few candles and enjoy their glow instead – although try to steer clear of ones with an overpowering scent. If things still seem a bit gloomy with just some candles then fairy lights get the thumbs up from hygge enthusiasts. Like candles, they give off a softer glow and add a pleasant touch to your home design without being too bright and overwhelming. A string or three of twinkly lights work well in almost any room, or even outdoors. In Summer when you’re not lighting the fire, try adding logs and fairy lights to still give off that fireplace feel.

Another big aspect of hygge décor is incorporating nature and different textures within the space. It’s a great way to naturally continues over page >>

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make the space more interesting on an otherwise minimalist design. Piles of logs next to the fireplace, baskets of pinecones, branches and twigs in vases, chunky wool knitted blankets, trailing leafy plants and pops of colour from flowers all add to the feel of the room and the nod to nature promotes peacefulness.

Turning your home hygge isn’t limited to the spaces you spend the most time in. Instead of using your bathroom just as a room to grab a quick, rushed shower in the morning, turn it into a home spa retreat with some simple moves. Be clever with your storage to eliminate clutter of razors, numerous bottles and other bathroom items and for extra enjoyment add candles, comfy robes, soft towels and fluffy rugs to make your time spent in the bathroom pleasant even if it’s brief. Try to use natural accessories such as wooden toothbrush holders, natural sponges and luffas and steer away from plastics.

The truth is everyone could probably benefit from being a bit more hyggelig. So whether

you’re in love with the interior style or not, remember to take time to enjoy the little things in life. Instead of complaining about the bad weather in winter, light some candles and hunker down under your favourite blanket with a book you’ve been meaning to read for ages or a series you’ve been meaning to watch. Cook your favourite recipe and share it with your best friends, put your phone down more and spend less time on social media and more time actually being sociable with those who mean the most to you. Above all, have fun getting hygge with it!

“Put your phone down more and spend less time on social media and more time actually being sociable with those who mean the most to you. Above all, have fun8 getting hygge with it!”

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NATIONAL

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Highstreet SHOP THE

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SAINSBURYS

Amazonia White Lacquer Box Print £49.99

Shibori Side Plate £3.75

Pineapple Glow Table Lamp £34.99

VERY

Monochrome Pineapple Cushion £22.99

Spa Diffuser 90ml £9

Panoply of Pineapple

Dinner Plate £4.25

Large Standing Crane £24

Tropical Amazonia Cushion £17.99

Table Runner £12

Bonsai Tree £18 Gallery Pineapple Framed Wall Art £19.99

Ceramic Pineapple Tray £14.99

Pink Pineapple Photo Frame £12.99

Shade £12

Serving Bowl £12

Flamingo & Pineapples Cushion £24.99 Ceramic Metallic Pineapple Pot Petrol £19.99

Jug £12

Wine Glass £3.50

Copacabana Pineapple Cushion £17.99

Throw £18 Ceramic Pineapple Serving Bowl £24.99

Just for Her issue 18 2018.indd 11

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HOMESENSE

Bamboo Lantern £39.99

Tropical Havana

Mexico Print £16.99

Wooden Pelican £29.99

Palm Leaf Cushion Velvet Back £19.99

Monochrome in Cadec Chair Price TBC

Wooden Side Table £59.99 Palm Frame £7.99

Concrete Effect Pendant Light £79.99

Tropical Plant In Basket £79.99

Palm Print Deck Chair Price TBC Wooden Stool With Green Legs £39.99

Golden Crane Cushion £24.99

12 Ornament £14.99

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Solar Hanging Lantern £3.50

24pk Tealights £1

PRIMARK

Bright & Bold

Mini Votive 80p

Small Solar Lantern £4

20 Colour Solar Party Bulbs £5

Donut Cushion £7

Outdoor Cushion £8

Pom Pom Cushion £7 Ice Cream Cushion £7

Coloured Tin Faux Plant £2.50

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“My volunteer from Home-Start is fantastic. She understands what it’s like being in the forces as she was an army wife herself and really gets how I feel when my husband is off on exercise or working strange hours. I have really clicked with her and my children love seeing her each week. She was like a mum to me which also really helps as my mum is not around.”

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* All names have been changed

Home-Start is one of the UK’s leading family support charities.

A network of 250 Home-Starts support every kind of family, facing every kind of challenge.

Many Home-Starts provide specialist support to military families, providing support both when partners are at home, and when they are on deployment around the world.

Since 1973 Home-Start volunteers have worked with families to help them overcome the challenges they face. Last year 16,000 volunteers worked with 30,000 families and 60,000 children to help them transform their lives.

Being a parent with young children can be a stressful time in anyone’s life. It is a huge change and comes with worry, excitement, exhaustion and often isolation and loneliness too. When you are an army family, having small children can come with added pressures that you only really understand if you have been in that situation yourself. That is why, as well as many of the 250 local Home-Starts in the UK working with military families, there are also Home-Starts supporting army families in Germany and Cyprus.

For Evie, Home-Start was there for her at a very distressing point in her life. “My volunteer was there during the time I was suffering great distress with postpartum psychosis,” remembers Evie. “My husband was due to go away for four months on active duty and the anxiety I felt at this time was often severe.”

Evie adds, “My volunteer gave me the emotional support I needed and was a listening ear. She helped me access local support services and took us to the park in the warm weather. Arrangements were made for my husband to reduce the time he would be away from home and I was helped to get medical support for my condition. I am now taking medication for my illness and other professional support is now in place. All thanks to the support I had from my volunteer at a time when I really needed it.”

Home-Starts are now working to help families who are being relocated back from Germany to communities in the UK. This will be a particularly stressful time for families who may be moving away from friends made abroad, while moving

to new towns in the UK. For some people – especially commonwealth troops, or people from other countries who have met a partner in the Army – they will be moving to the UK for the first time.

Families said that the common obstacles they face are a lack of support and feelings of lone parenting, finding appropriate further education courses that fit around family needs, “My access to available services and networks of support, confidence to work, understanding cultural differences and time management.

Home-Starts around the country will be creating their own support to meet local needs. In Wiltshire, Home-Start Kennet have been providing support in small groups to Army families. They called the programme ‘Moving In, Moving On’ and it has been funded by the Royal British Legion. Through the group work participants were also encouraged to identify their aspirations. Mums said they wanted to make new friends, to feel safer, to run their own business with guidance and support, to learn to drive, to go back to work, to access training and to develop a healthier lifestyle.

It has helped people like Julie, a mum suffering from anxiety who was able to attend the group sessions. Julie felt that lots of the other help either had a long waiting list, or wasn’t available, so she was keen to come to one of the groups and find her own support. Although she initially felt nervous, Julie found the group was a safe environment to talk. Initially she gained most support from just listening to others, and her anxieties reduced. She found listening to others a huge comfort and this boosted her well-being. Eventually, Julie was able to share her feelings and learn that others often feel the same way.

Home-Start Kennet developed the course specifically around the needs of mums in Army families like Julie. Each week the group sessions focused on a different theme, including the importance of the peer support, identifying the challenges that may be made more difficult within military families and looking after personal well-being. They also invited in external speakers to talk about topics like education and employment. Most importantly, at each session a Home-Start play worker was on hand to take care of the children and keep

volunteer gave me the emotional support I needed and was a listening ear.” them entertained, which allowed families to fully take part in the conversations and activities.

‘Moving In, Moving On’ is just one of the ways that Home-Starts have supported families. For many families, they are supported by a home-visiting volunteer.

Across the UK, Home-Start has almost 14,000 home-visiting volunteers. Each one has been carefully matched to a family to provide the kind of support that they could help them.

For Lucy, her volunteer helped her when her partner was abroad. “My volunteer was an absolute godsend to me and my young children when my husband was away serving,” Lucy said. “I had suffered with back problems for many years and my longawaited hospital appointment came whilst he was away on duty. Without the help of Home-Start I would have had to cancel the operation.

“My volunteer helped me with the household chores whilst I recovered from my surgery and did my weekly food shop for a number of weeks. She also took my younger children out to the park and played with them so that I could rest and recover from the surgery. Once I was on the road to recovery she accompanied me to groups where I was able to meet other families with small children make new friends and get back on my feet.”

If you think that Home-Start could support you or your family, you can find your nearest Home-Start at www.home-start.org.uk.

If you want to share your experience and help support families in your community you can find out how you can become a Home-Start volunteer, by visiting the Home-Start UK website.

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Email: info@hydro-ease.co.uk There are infinite possibilities to be found in the presence of nothing 16

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HYDRO-EASE LEADS THE WAY IN TRAUMA RECOVERY Sometimes when every experience seems overwhelming and we feel like

highly critical inner self was silenced,

But what if we could? What if we could totally relax and restrict our fight, flight

we have no control over our emotions or our environment the world can feel

my pain racked body was eased to the point of having no feeling at all and I was free. Free from pain, free from the

like a scary place. This can be made even more stressful when our minds are constantly wandering to loved ones

decisions of the past and free from the sad fearful child who lived within me.

I remember while growing up, the rare

What If we could reset our body clocks and regulate our sleep patterns? What if we could super boost our immune

who are far from our side.

moments I had to sit up beside my mum and cuddle in, I felt so connected and

Growing up I dealt with many things,

safe, like nothing and no-one could hurt me. This feeling returned whilst in the

system, reduce pain and inflammation from a sports injury, physical or emotional trauma?

having a mother who struggled with mental health and alcohol dependency.

Experiencing every kind of abuse before aged 10, enabled me to become an adult who spent most of my time engaging in very unhelpful coping strategies to avoid dealing with the pain of the past. I started my 20’s homeless, on the street with a 1-year-old, fleeing a domestic violence relationship and ended my 20’s being rushed to the hospital where I spent 3 days in ICU. When all the test results came back clear, and within 6 hours of gaining conciseness I was sitting up and almost back to “normal” I was faced with 2 choices, continue as I was and end up in an early grave or padded room or change my ways immediately.

This experience was my body and minds way of telling me “No more”, I had reached a stage where panic, anxiety and a longing to just disappear had become the norm. I was trying so hard to hold everything together and be the person everyone else wanted “me” to be and in the midst of it all I had forgotten who “me” was. It was then I decided I am not my story. I am who I choose to become and I made the decision to give up my addictions, change my mindset, improve my mental health and become the most complete

floatation tank. This experience kickstarted something within me, I enrolled in college, then University to understand and appreciate the interplay between the body and the mind, I then trained with world leaders in transformation

What if I told you can? You see, I can offer you an environment free from the effects of gravity with a restriction in the environmental stimuli available to your 5 senses. A place where you can disconnect from the modern world

and all its daily demands to afford you change such as Paul Mckenna, Richard the absolute luxury of selfBandler, and Ron Ruden.

When reconnection and a deep I fi rst heard of meditative state So let me introduce floatation, I had no idea bringing a state of myself, my what it was. At the time, I was in stable balance name is Vivian a period of significant transition as my to your whole McKinnon husband had recently left the military after system. and I own over 20 years’ service, in this time we had Hydro-ease moved country, jobs and schools many times.

Beforehand I Northern The best way to fully appreciate the benefits of can offer you Irelands only what floatation can offer is to give it a go. I did cutting edge floatation just that! Floating is amazing, it’s an hour to approaches centre. myself without thinking of others’ needs, it’s to work Offering an opportunity to restore and recharge. with pain, cutting-edge The benefits last beyond the session stress, anxiety, techniques and and really help me to sleep depression, trauma, approaches to soundly. – Lisa Stutt fears and phobias at a stress management, root cause and core belief trauma recovery and level. So when you enter the floatation overall wellbeing, current research with servicemen and women returning from duty supports the effectiveness of this approach.

We spend 80% of our daily energy source simply fighting the effects of gravity. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,

version of myself.

52 weeks a year we are connected to, and with, the world, whether that’s

Not long after this I was introduced to floatation and everything changed. My

through technology or simply standing on our feet or lying on our backs, we never fully disconnect.

Just for Her issue 18 2018.indd 17

or freeze response by hacking into our mind and bodies natural resources?

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Working with both myself and the float cabin I can guarantee quick and effective neurological change to create the life you desire but more importantly deserve.

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WEDDING WORRIES Even with precision planning, there are still things that can go wrong and potentially wreck your wedding day. But fear not whether your Big Day is threatened by the antics of a drunken uncle or it looks doubtful because of a bout of freak weather, there is always a solution to ensure events proceed without a hitch. Nicola Smith of ‘You Said Yes’ wedding planners has all the answers…

THE VENUE CANCELS It is only three weeks before your big day and the venue calls to say they are closing and cannot host your wedding.

What do you do? Will it be possible to find an alternative? How do you tell all the guests?

Nicola says: First of all don’t panic and don’t tell the guests just yet. I always advise bridal clients to take out wedding insurance to assist in times when emergencies happen. It’s worth its weight in gold.

It’s entirely do-able to switch a venue within that time frame, but it is time consuming. So pick a group of close friends

and give everyone five venues to ring to check availability.

you must look at legal recourse and compensation.

Once you have found a venue who can fit you in then send messages to guests. A postcard printed overnight from most local printers advising them of a last minute change of venue can be sent to everyone by first class post.

RAIN STOPS PLAY

Alternatively social media is an easy way to post news. If you know a wedding planner you could just easily pass this pile of stress on to them. They will deal with it without emotion and quite effortlessly. This is after all what we do!

Don’t forget, after the day is over, then

You have planned a winter wedding and with just a few days to go snow is forecast. Half your guests call to say they won’t make it as they don’t want to risk travelling in the snow and then your bridesmaid and page boy come down with chicken pox. How do you proceed?

Nicola says: Always, always have a Plan B. I planned my friend’s wedding last year on December 29th at the stately home Wentworth Woodhouse, where I previously managed large scale events and weddings. The night

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before about five inches of snow fell.

Again, don’t panic. Find out which of your friends have four-wheel drive cars and find out if they, or anybody else, can help with transport. Stay calm. Ensure that all the key players can get to the venue as well as the important suppliers. As long as the main people are there, anything else can slide.You may know you are missing a page boy and bridesmaid but nobody else will.

SQUABBLING RELATIVES Family feuds always seem to explode at big events like Christmas and weddings and your clan is no different. Thanks to a recent separation, a divorce and a long-standing rift, planning the seating arrangements has become a logistical nightmare. Is there a failsafe way to keep everyone happy?

Nicola says: Yes, don’t have a traditional top table seating arrangement. Instead let the bride and groom sit with their best friends and arrange for the parents to sit with their friends.

Place a larger-than-normal round table in the middle of the room, with a larger floral display so it is easily identifiable as the “top table” and let the seating be informal.

Some brides are now opting for a more relaxed ‘choose your own seat’ style of reception. And it’s catching on.

There’s another new trend for having the bride and groom in the centre of the room and it gets around complications like this one. Alternatively, you could ask a planner to do it all for you!

A DIPLOMACY DILEMMA

WARDROBE MALFUNCTION

You have picked your best man/ bridesmaid but someone else - a friend or close family member - is likely to be very upset you haven’t chosen them.

How do you smooth things over?

On the morning of the wedding, there is a spillage and the dress is stained. Is there a solution?

Nicola says: Give that person a different part to play.

Make them feel important in another way.

Or simply tell them that you didn’t want them to be on show, you wanted them to be a relaxed guest who can enjoy the event instead of being nervous or being “in” the proceedings.

If in doubt - blame your partner!

GATECRASHER ALERT! On the day itself, because of a mix up with the invites, more people arrive than expected. What can you do? Will most venues be able to fit a few extras in?

Nicola says: You’d need to ask the venue manager or wedding planner to speak to chef immediately and sort your table arrangements.

If it’s not possible you tell them there has unfortunately been a mix up but seat them somewhere lovely and ply them with drinks and nibbles. It’s a lovely day - who cares.

This is the kind of situation a wedding planner would be able to handle effortlessly, and you wouldn’t even know the problem was occurring.

Nicola says: Depending on the stain it can be sorted.

You’re best asking the chef in the venue.

Often milk and vinegar and cold water can lift anything out - and if not, then Google it!

The important thing to remember here is that the dress is the last thing to go on. I was a bridesmaid last week and we made sure that the bride stayed in her dressing gown right up to the last moment and when we did finally dress her it was away from all food and drink. It’s best to plan ahead.

BEST MAN OR BRIDESMAID BLUNDER You love your best man/bridesmaid but they are very unreliable and have a tendency to be late. Is there a way to ensure they don’t mess up the rings, speeches or turn up late on the day?

Nicola says: Yes, give them a job to do which depends on their early arrival and pull the time forward by 40 minutes. For example, ask them to give out orders of the day so they must be first at church for 2.20pm (when in fact the wedding starts at 3pm).

Also coupling them up with another bridesmaid or groomsman who is punctual helps. Nowadays, all groomsmen and best man should get ready together. It’s the same with bridesmaids. And of course if you had a wedding planner, she or he would take care of all this in their sleep.

CAKE CATASTROPHE Someone drops the cake! It’s ruined. What do we do?

Nicola says: This is a very common occurrence. If this happens get someone to the local M&S or supermarket to buy three plain iced cakes and take some flowers from the venue to dress the cake.

Nicola runs ‘You Said Yes’ bespoke wedding planners.

You can find out more at the website www.yousaidyes.co.uk

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CONTRIBUTION

Just a Thought...

By Katie V

“There for Her”

R

aising a baby full time is really rewarding but oh boy it is hard work! It sounds really obvious and I’m sure a lot of people think ‘yeah yeah we know’, but unless you have spent day after day looking after a little bundle who is entirely dependent on you, I doubt you really appreciate what I mean.

I am blessed to have a baby daughter who is currently 10 months old. Baby Girl is genuinely very cute and sociable (I know I’m biased!), and she takes an interest in everything around her. She doesn’t really fuss or cry unless she is unwell or teething, she eats anything I give her and her sleep is now pretty good too. I am also fortunate to have the support of a committed and handson husband, which I know not everyone can say. It’s true, as first time parents we are muddling along and making it up as we go along (doesn’t everybody?!), but we have each other as a sounding board and to share the ‘load’. Even on days when I

am consumed with figuring out what’s best for our daughter as a new developmental phase hits or am utterly exhausted and running on empty, I know he’ll take care of the ‘other’ stuff, like putting a meal on the table, cleaning the kitchen and running the hoover round.

Before you think this is smug gloating, I tell you all this in order to establish that I truly am aware and grateful for my supportive partner and easy going baby. I know many parents have to look after children who have dietary restrictions, colic, sleep difficulties or significant health issues, to name but a few. I know parents in military families who have to cope while one partner is deployed or detached for weeks at a time, sometimes with little notice and generally with no immediate family living nearby to help out. I know there are parents out there balancing work and their private lives as single parents, whether by choice or otherwise, and putting in superhuman efforts. And, of course, I know there are some families which include

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more than one child, perhaps twin babies or an older sibling testing the boundaries as they navigate the ‘terrible twos’. Raising children really can be hard work.

Having said all that, and acknowledging I by no means have it as hard as some, I still have days when I feel blue in mood and just want to cry. Sometimes it’s because things don’t go to plan, and I don’t mean anything crazy or elaborate, I mean popping out for 1 hour to have coffee on my own. (That plan was thwarted last week and I had really been looking forward to it, but my daughter was teething and upset and only mummy cuddles would do). Sometimes (most of the time), it’s because I’m sleep deprived and more tired than I care to admit and a little thing turns out to be overwhelming (like dropping an egg on the kitchen floor...).

Sometimes it’s because I’m unwell, or battling a migraine, or I can’t fit into any of my shorts when the sun finally makes an appearance. Sometimes it’s my blasted hormones shifting again (thanks weaning, this breastfeeding journey really has been a rollercoaster!). And sometimes it’s because I want conversation and company in the flesh, not via FaceTime, with my parents who live 3 hours away. When I’m sad, all I want more than anything is a cuddle and cup of tea with my Mum and I curse the military for stationing us too far away for that to happen.

and common place. But when my baby’s nap means I have to skip these activities I really miss them and the interaction they offer, often leaving me feeling isolated despite being surrounded by other similar families. I don’t think I’m alone in sometimes feeling like this and when you’re sad, in those moments, it can seem hard and lonely raising a baby. My rational brain knows everything is actually fine and our little family is doing great, but reassurance, understanding and a cuddle never go amiss.

As I write this it is World Maternal Mental Health Awareness Day and social media is awash with photographs of women showing their support with the hashtag ‘there for her’. And while it will be a different world ‘something or other’ day by the time you read this, it doesn’t matter because we should remember to be ‘there for her’ throughout the year. And actually, we should also be ‘there for him’ or anyone else working hard and raising the next generation of our society. Just a thought...

“My rational brain knows everything is actually fine and our little family is doing great, but reassurance, understanding and a cuddle never go amiss.…”

The patch where we live is super friendly and full of mums looking after their young kids. It’s great chatting and listening to them at the tots group and weekly coffee morning, and gaining reassurance that my baby is developing well and the daily challenges and milestones we are encountering are normal

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CONTRIBUTION

“The Course of

True Love

Never Did Run Smooth”

By Gemma Richardson

I

love my husband to death. Sometimes though it seems I might be the cause of it; the Bravo programme I once caught “Wives with Knives” popping into mind. As Shakespeare so eloquently put it “the course of true love never did run smooth”. There are peaks and troughs, declarations of undying love where I’ve never been so happy; highs and lows, where I question if I can really do this. Is there shame in that?

No. It’s not easy, this marriage malarkey, the normal pressures and niggles only enhanced tenfold by being married to a man in uniform, a man I can go months without seeing or kissing or being held by. A marriage in which it can feel a rather lonely, single-mum like place, some jokery omnipotent camo-wearing Gods in control of our lives.

on to report exciting, memorable things, when in fact, what fills our daily lives isn’t all that exciting, yet it’s all relevant, it all contributes to how we feel going to bed; be that peacefully or mulling over that stupid thing you said five years ago to your boss and made a complete tit out of yourself. If your husband is around talk about each others day, and not just about the kids. Plan for the future, be that holidays, date nights (do it!), the depressing state of world politics or your favourite crisp flavor. It all matters. Communicate with each other, and if you can’t send packages, write emails or messages even if your HB won’t read them until they’ve got signal again. I myself used to worry a little about looking like a stalker and then I remembered this is the man that asked to spend the rest of his life with me.

The easiest thing in the world is to forget that you and your significant other are in this journey together, to be torn apart like trees shedding autumnal leaves. The key though, is to remember that you’re a team (even if most of the time as a “wife of ” you’re in the b team), that it’s hard for both of you, hard to fight the magnetic pull of resentment. Just like the cars we drive, our relationships, the conduit of our hopes and dreams, sometimes need a little maintenance, an MOT. According to Relate there are a few things we can implement to help oil the nuts and bolts of togetherness; the mechanics of our own, seemingly star-crossed lovers, fate.

2. Accept your time together isn’t going to be perfect.

1. Make time to maintain communication.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, easier said than done when my husbands in Canada, on the prairie for weeks at a time (and not in the quaint “goodnight Mary-Ellen”, Little House on the Prairie way). Whilst I couldn’t agree with you more, most of the time our husbands are either contactable or at home. My significant other and I used to save up our phone calls; I felt like he was taking the whole army thing a little too seriously and putting me on rations.

However, after much trial and error, and several arguments, we now make sure to call each other at least every couple of days, where possible.You know that awkwardness with some friends, where you haven’t seen each other for six months and that “so, what’s been going on?” question comes up; where there’s nothing “major” to report, yet a hundred thousand tiny things that make up your everyday life has passed, the joy of the baby learning a new word or the excitement that you finally got a dishwasher? It’s a little like that with the HB, after a week of not speaking the pressure is suddenly

Now, this is a hard one; to cherish your time together yet not put too much pressure on it being paradisiacal. Unfortunately, despite how much you may have missed them, that first week back can be spent trying not to get in a mood because they were supposed to bath the baby half an hour earlier, like you do, didn’t load the dishwasher properly, like you do, and are now taking up more than half of the bed you were star-fishing across two days ago, keeping you awake with their snoring and moaning about jet lag. Putting too much pressure on yourselves and each other can, does, and will set you up for let-downs, and yes, that includes in the bedroom.

Trying to gel sexually again may be back to trial and error; that first kiss may be dreamy but you may not feel like having sex twice a day when you’re tired and they’ve sauntered back in all horny, and there’s nothing wrong with that, you’ve been changing nappies for six weeks and eating your bodyweight in ice-cream! However, there’s nothing wrong with exploring each other all over again, in every way, or taking things slowly, reminding each other why you fell in love in the first place.

Yes the living room might be filled with enough army crap to sink the titanic for twice as long as he told you it would be, the tidy fairies having not magically cleared it away, but relax, you spent so long pining for your beloved, things don’t have to be perfect. Have date nights, drink too much wine together, accept there will be arguments and tiffs, but there’s always make up sex too. Life is, after all, about balance.

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3. Despite there being no “I” in team, sometimes a little ‘I” time is good for the team.

We spend every day of our lives reminded that we are the “wife of ”, a “dependent”, not the head of our own household, the B side to your soldier’s number one, top selling, A side. Therefore, ladies I encourage you, no, I implore you! to find something that gives you a little “you time”. Whether you’re nineteen and that means going out dancing with your friends and drinking tequila (which, despite not being nineteen I still like to do), completing a flower arranging course (which I loved) or simply binge watching a thousand episodes of a cheesy American teen drama on Netflix and eating far too many Ben and Jerry’s tubs (again, can’t say I’m not guilty of this!). I don’t care what you do, just do something, make space in your life for yourself. Pay a babysitter if you have to, because you need to be happy to make your relationship work.

Grab life with both hands, whether your husband is here or not, be selfish every now and again, lord knows we spend enough time being selfless.

It’s true, the course of true love does not run smoothly, but go with the rollercoaster ride.

Embrace it, do what you can to strap yourself in for the twists and turns, ups and downs, hanging on for your life and scream your head off at times. As the great man Shakespeare said “time is very slow for those who wait, very fast for those who are scared, very long for those who lament, very short for those who celebrate.

But for those who love, time is eternal”.

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SCOTLAND MILITARY CATCHMENT

Wilderness Therapy: a life changing opportunity for troubled teens Life as a military family can be tough. Constant changing of plans, long periods of time apart, moving around, and dealing with traumatic deployments can all take their toll on parents and children alike. Whilst many military families become very close, providing a support network and sanctuary for their serving member, it can be a very uncertain life where change is always on the horizon. When one or both parents are service personnel, children can struggle; at its very base level just the reality of a parent going away, sometimes for long periods of time, can bring about anxiety and sadness which might lead to behavioural problems, aggression, truancy, and depression as children reach adolescence.

This is of course not unique to military families. But it can be amplified due to the instability of service life. The effects on child development of being in a military family are evidenced by multiple reports which have indicated a greater number of behavioural, emotional and disciplinary problems where one or more parent has undertaken deployment.1 Throughout the western world, for the first time in history our children have a lower life expectancy than their parents. And a recent UNICEF report2 found that things are particularly bad in the UK. We have seen a sharp decline in childhood wellbeing, as well as increased cases of obesity, childhood depression and behavioural difficulties.

This is linked to our rapidly growing indoor culture where computer games, social media and a digital existence take the lion’s share of our daily life. We are spending less and less time in nature, less time enjoying outdoor activity.

Throughout the UK in 2015, 58,000 young people were prescribed anti-depressants3, and this is increasing, along with an even greater number of parents that don’t know where else to turn to get help for their child. Anti-depressants and other prescription drugs used to aid depression, ADHD, mental health issues and anxiety can have good immediate results. But what is still undetermined is whether they have any long term benefit, or in fact whether they have long term negative impact on a child’s development. What is known is that young people’s brains are not the same as that of an adult. They are in the process of being rewired and so drugs of any kind can affect young people differently.

And yet there is something that is already accepted in the United States as an effective form of treatment for troubled young people. Something that has no dangerous side-effects and is proving to have long term sustainable benefits to a young person’s future. Wilderness Therapy.

We often say things without thinking of their origin.

When someone is struggling, how often do you hear, ‘Get some fresh air. Clear your head. Take a deep breath. Put one foot in front of the other’?

Nature is all around us, it’s where we come from, and it’s what we need in order to survive. It’s also something that has become a little superfluous in the digital age.

However, it is well documented that outdoor activity can help people with a range of mental health problems and triggers natural ‘feel good’ endorphins to the brain. Combined with a dedicated developmental and therapeutic programme, Wilderness Therapy can reach a young person in ways that are long lasting and life changing.

Wilderness Therapy helps develop the coping strategies required to deal with the difficult situations when they arise; it teaches individuals how to deal with life.4 Getting outdoors away from peer pressure, social media, away from digital communication and into an unthreatening, natural and peaceful environment is the first step, and often a daunting one. Individuals learn life skills using outdoor activity, guided by an experienced psychotherapist and trained outdoor instructors.

Every small achievement – lighting a fire or putting up a tent – builds confidence, and a faith in their own abilities. Every activity has a purpose whether that be learning to interact with other people, to open up and discuss their fears, to learn responsibility or be less confrontational, develop focus and resilience.

A recent study by the University of Essex5 found that 83% of young people who undertook a wilderness therapy programme went on to successfully gain employment or get back into education.

Our children have it tough in the age of digital media. The pressures of looking beautiful and having the perfect life, of achieving and being successful are everywhere and it is difficult to switch off. Whether it is peer pressure at school, online bullying, or unattainable images on Instagram, it is very easy for young people to feel overwhelmed, stressed and anxious. Add the usual hormones raging through the body during the teenage years, and there is no wonder young people are struggling. Within the military there can be added complexities such as parents with PTSD due to a life spent serving our country, difficulty expressing emotion and not wanting to appear weak, and long periods of absence. All complex things for a child to experience. So it is doubly tough for military families; for parents and their children, and support is needed.

There is hope. Wilderness Therapy has no down side. Google it. Do some research. Mindfulness, meditation, they all bring huge benefit, and help young people to cope in a challenging world. If you have a child and you are concerned for their wellbeing, or have tried everything else, from seeing your GP, prescription drugs, counselling and other therapies, Wilderness Therapy could be an option. Young people experiencing behavioural issues, aggression, negative relationships, isolation, depression, anxiety, trouble at school or with authority figures can be supported to make positive sustainable changes and go on to have a happy and balanced future.

Venture Mòr runs Wilderness Therapy intensive programmes throughout the year in the wild spaces of Scotland with highly qualified, experienced professionals. We are offering a 10% discount to military families on all programmes.

Quote Just for Her magazine when enquiring. For a confidential discussion with our leading therapist, Andy Hardie, please call 0845 340 2059 or email info@venturemor.co.uk. Andy would be happy to answer any questions you may have, as well as helping you to work out the best course of action to help your child. Alternatively visit the website for more information: www.venturemor.co.uk 1. Centre for Social Justice, Military Families and Transition report 2016 2. UNICEF report: Child Wellbeing in rich countries. A comprehensive assessment of the lives and well-being of children and adolescents in the economically advanced nations. 2007 3. NHS England 4. Child Youth Care Forum. 2007. Nevin J. Harper; Keith C. Russell; Rob Cooley; Jacqueline Cupples. Catherine Freer Wilderness Therapy Expeditions: An Exploratory Case Study of Adolescent Wilderness Therapy, Family Functioning, and the Maintenance of Change, p.15 5. University of Essex Green Exercise in partnership with the Wilderness Foundation

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CONTRIBUTION

Time and time again, as new families move onto a patch, you hear about the same challenges and frustrations.

Natalie Trezise, like many military spouses, had a gut feeling that “it just has to be easier than this”…

H

ow do you get access to the camp Medical Centre? When should I put the bins out?

What local garage can I trust? How can I get a pass for camp?

Where can I go for Sunday lunch? The questions can be endless. Finding out this information can sometimes take months, and with hectic family lives, jobs and other commitments it can take its toll on anybody.

Having experienced it herself, Natalie wanted to tackle the problem of how every

new posting or relocation can often mean starting from scratch. She strongly felt it could and should be easier.

“I wanted to provide military families with an easy way to find the information they needed, irrespective of where they’re posted.

I wanted to create a resource which would help forces families cope with perpetual change and upheaval of relocation by providing one constant, go-to source of information.”

The concept for Your Home Patch was born!

Natalie now just needed to turn her idea into reality. Natalie’s background wasn’t in website design or technology – she’s a trained Science teacher, still currently working full time in the Education sector.

However, she was determined to make this idea work.

“I attended the X-Forces Enterprise ‘Empowering through Enterprise’ workshops

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and learnt a whole array of skills that I needed to make the first step into setting up the website. With the help of an X- Forces Enterprise appointed mentor, the journey began!”

She started to speak to as many military spouses as she could, researching and refining her idea. Slowly but surely things started to happen, but it was still a daunting task setting up a business from scratch!

“At the start I was a little overwhelmed by how much there was to do, so instead of looking at the whole picture I set myself targets. I would take a day and just look at the colours of the logo, and force myself not to think about any other part of the project, not beyond logo colours. The next day it would be something else. Rather than try to tackle this huge scary beast, I broke it down.”

Natalie’s method clearly worked, Your Home Patch is now firmly here, having successfully launched in March for Sandhurst and Minley. Aldershot is due to launch this summer, and Natalie’s plan is to have all military postings in the UK and abroad covered on the site within two years. There’s also plans to extend the site to include recruitment opportunities within each location, as well as an app.

Although not all locations are currently live you can still sign up and start contributing with information to help with that area’s launch.

At the moment Natalie is a one-woman show - but Your Home Patch has already caught the attention of some award nominations, and the platform looks set for great things.

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JENNIFER HARLEY 07739567696

www.yourhomepatch.co.uk natalie@yourhomepatch.co.uk @YourHomePatch @yourhomepatch @yourhomepatch

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“I truly feel that there can be no other community as close-knit, supportive and generous than the forces community - that has been a huge source of encouragement for me. I would never have started Your Home Patch if I wasn’t inspired by all the amazing military families I see every day tackling life’s challenges.”

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Military WAGS Choir, Catterick Garrison

By Sue Gibbons, Publicity & IT Coordinator

T

he choirs ethos has always been to provide support, friendship and fun through singing and this has never been more evident than when the ladies are dealing with lengthy periods of separation from their loved ones. For many, the support from the choir is what keeps them going, when their wider families live many miles away.

The Military WAGS Choir, Catterick Garrison was conceived back in early 2010, as a direct result of the conflict in Afghanistan. A large deployment of troops was due to leave the Garrison, at a time when injuries and loss of life was high. This determining factor led to two wives; Nicky Clarke and Caroline Jopp, approaching Carol Gedye with the idea of starting up a choir. The thought was to give those left behind a focus; a support group to keep spirits high with fun and friendship and it did that and much more!

Since those early days, the Military WAGS Choir achieved charitable status in its own right. Today it is led by and relies on a small committee of volunteers from the choir, supported by its trustees and sponsors. Any donations gratefully received, afford the choir the ability to continue running for the support of women involved with the military in and around Catterick Garrison.

In a year where we not only mark a hundred years since the ending of WW1, we mark 100 years of women’s right to vote and we will be lucky enough to be involved in recognising both. It could be said, strangely, that the WAGS choir exists because of war but no one knew at the choirs inception, that something bore out of war, would lead to such a powerful, exciting and fulfilling journey for so many ladies. This ‘movement of women,’ this choir, has been lucky and very often privileged to perform at many, many events both locally and nationally.

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If you live in and around Richmondshire, have a military connection and want to be involved then please come along and join the choir. We are now in our eighth year and we continue to sing, support and perform with passion, joy and fun. Our rehearsals offer the perfect environment to make new friends, friends for life, even when they move on and it is an excellent way to connect with the whole community. It increases your confidence and gives you some time for ‘yourself ’!

The health benefits attached to singing have to be experienced to understand so please come along.Your first session is free and you can speak to any of our longstanding members who will tell you just how the endorphin release makes you feel. Nothing compares to the feeling post rehearsal, plus there’s always time for a catch up after too. If you have children they will be looked after in a free creche run by professionals, truly giving you time to yourself!

You can read and see more on our website: www.militarywagschoir. co.uk or for more details of new member nights follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

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PROFILE

Military

& Me

Name - Rachel Edwards Age - 29 Current Location - Aviemore, Scotland my husband is currently based at FDTC Grantown-On-Spey

When and how did you meet your partner?

We met in 2005, we worked together at a leisure centre; he was a gym instructor and I was a lifeguard. He joined the RAF 4 years later.

Best thing about military life?

Undoubtedly the experiences it has given us and our children. We have lived in 6 counties and 3 countries over the past 9 years, and currently live in one of the most beautiful parts of the UK. We are incredibly lucky.

Worst thing about military life?

The goodbyes. It goes without saying that I hate it when my husband is away, but this is magnified now we have children - watching their devastated faces as they have to say goodbye to Daddy again never gets easier.

Favourite posting?

MOD Corsham in Wiltshire. My husband loved his job, the area was perfect for us, we have never felt more at home.

How do you deal with goodbyes?

Even after all this time I find them very difficult. I have learnt to allow myself initial time to wallow, eat the chocolate and cry the tears, before pulling up my positive pants and cracking on!

Do you have certain coping mechanisms for dealing with the absence of your partner?

We make it a family affair. The children have ‘Daddy cushions’ so that Daddy is still

involved in daily life and is always there to cuddle them at bedtime. We have a countdown plaque which my son loves to change each day and we try and FaceTime or Skype as much as possible. I make sure I have lots of things planned for myself and the children, especially at weekends.

What’s your guilty secret when he’s away? No shaving? Cereal for dinner? Towie re-runs?!

Lots of chocolate and trashy TV!

Do you do anything special when your partner returns?

We always try and plan a special day out the first weekend he’s back.

Homecoming meal?

I let him choose - there’s normally a meal he’s missed when he’s been away!

Homecoming outfit?

I never really think about my outfit, but I will make an effort to put some make up on and style my hair in some way other than the Mum Bun!

What’s your top tip for new military partners?

Military life can be amazing, full of opportunities, places you have yet to explore and friends you have yet to meet.

Military life can also suck sometimes.

There will be days when you are done with moving, done with new houses, new schools, days where you will struggle because your children are struggling. It is absolutely okay to feel like that sometimes.

Talk to your partner. Tell them how you are feeling and work through it together. It will get better.

What three words would you use to describe military partners?

Resilient. Resourceful. Proud.

Would you like to feature in the next issue?

Email us at justforher@forcespublishing.co.uk

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AZ Cocktails to

ac f of

Alabama Slammer 1oz Southern Comfort 1oz Amaretto 1oz Bourbon 1oz Sloe Gin 1oz Orange Juice Pour over ice and shake, serve in a tall glass.

Corpse Reviver

1oz Gin 1oz Triple Sec 1oz Vermouth 1oz Lemon Juice Dash of Absinthe Shake with ice and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a lemon twist.

Fireball

¾oz White Rum ¾oz Cinnamon Schnapps 2 Dashes Tabasco Sauce Pour into a shaker filled with ice, shake well and strain into a shot glass.

bd e Dirty Martini

Berry Cosmo

1½oz Berry Vodka 2oz Cranberry Juice 1Tbsp Fresh Lime Juice Shake with ice and strain into a cocktail glass.

Just for Her issue 18 2018.indd 34

2oz Vodka or Gin 1Tbsp Dry Vermouth 2Tbsp Olive Brine Pour over ice and shake well.

Serve in a salted martini glass and add a green olive.

El Diablo

2 oz Tequila ¾oz Crème De Cassis 1Tbsp Lime Juice Ginger Ale Pour tequila and Crème de Cassis over ice in a collins glass.

Top with ginger ale and the lime juice. Add a wedge of lime.

28/06/2018 11:57

i g

Irish Coffee

1 Cup Hot Coffee 1Tbsp Brown Sugar 1½oz Irish Whiskey Heavy Whipped Cream Pour hot coffee into a warmed glass until ¾ full. Add brown sugar & stir well. Blend in the whiskey & collar with whipped cream by pouring it slowly over the back of a spoon.

j h Gimlet

2oz Gin ¾oz Lime Juice ¾oz Simple Syrup Pour into a shaker filled with ice, stir well until very cold and strain into a martini glass.

Garnish with a wheel of lime.

John Collins

Hot Toddy

8oz Hot Water 1 Herbal Tea Bag 1oz Bourbon 1Tbsp Honey 1 Lemon Wedge Steep the teabag for 3 minutes in the hot water in a large mug. Remove, then add the honey and stir until dissolved. Pour in the bourbon and add a squeeze of lemon.The perfect cure for a common cold!

Just for Her issue 18 2018.indd 35

2oz Bourbon 1oz Lemon Juice 1Tsp Simple Syrup 2oz Club Soda Combine bourbon, lemon juice, and simple syrup in a cocktail shaker over ice and shake until chilled. Pour into a Collins glass and top with club soda. Garnish with an orange slice or a cherry.

k Kamikaze

2oz Vodka 1oz Lime Juice 1oz Triple Sec Combine in a cocktail shaker over ice and shake until chilled. Strain into shot glasses.

l

Lagoon Punch 8oz White Rum 2oz Blue Curacao 4oz Lime Juice 16oz Pineapple Juice Add ice and lime slices to a punch bowl and mix together all ingredients.

Serves 4.

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mp Mojito

q no Fresh Mint Leaves 4 Lime Wedges 2 Tbsp Sugar Ice 2oz White Rum 4oz Soda Water Place 1 lime wedge and mint leaves into a tall glass.

Crush, then add the rest of the lime wedges and the sugar and crush again. Fill glass almost to the top with ice. Pour over the rum and then top with soda water.

Pina Colada

6-7 Chunks of Pineapple 1Tsp Sugar 1Tbsp Coconut Cream 2oz Bacardi Carta Blanco 2oz Pineapple Juice Ice Place all the ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth.

Pour into a frozen sling glass, garnish with a pineapple triangle.

Quantum Theory

/4oz Light Rum /2oz Strega 1 /4oz Grand Marnier 2oz Pineapple Juice Sour Mix Pour the rum, Strega and Grand Marnier into a Collins glass.Top up with pineapple juice and then the sour mix.

Garnish with a lemon slice and a cherry.

3 1

Nevada Cocktail 11/2oz Rum

/2oz Fresh Grapefruit Juice /3oz Fresh Lime Juice 1 /4oz Simple Syrup Dash of Angostura Bitters Lime Wedge Combine all the liquid ingredients in an ice-filled cocktail shaker.

Shake until cold, and then strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wedge.

1 1

Old Fashioned

2oz Bourbon 3 Dashes Angostura Bitters 1 Sugar Cube Club Soda Place sugar cube in an old fashioned glass and wet it down with 2 or 3 dashes of angostura bitters and a splash of club soda. Crush the sugar and swirl the mixture around the glass to line it.

Add a large ice cube and pour over the whiskey. Serve with a slice of orange.

r

Ruby Rum Sunrise

2oz Rum 1 /2 oz Sour Mix 11/2 oz Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice 1 /2 oz Grenadine Pour rum, grapefruit juice and sour mix into a cocktail shaker filled with ice. Shake until chilled, and strain into an old fashioned glass filled with more ice. Pour grenadine on top until it covers the bottom of the glass.

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w sv xy Woo Woo

Strawberry Daiquiri

4 Fresh Strawberries 2Tsp White Sugar 11/2oz White Rum 1 Tbsp Strawberry Liqueur 1oz Lime Juice Place everything into a cocktail shaker and mash it together. Put the lid on the shaker and shake well. Serve into a Martini glass and garnish with half a strawberry.

1oz Vodka 1oz Peach Schnapps 2oz Cranberry Juice Place all ingredients in a shaker with ice and shake until chilled. Strain into a cocktail glass ďŹ lled with fresh ice. Garnish with a lime wedge.

XYZ

z t /2oz Triple Sec 1oz Light Rum 1 Tbsp Lemon Juice Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass, and serve.

1

Vanilla Coke 1oz Vanilla Vodka 4oz Coke Pour over a glass of ice cubes and enjoy.

u Twist & Shout

1oz Tequila Silver 1 /2oz Cranberry Juice 1Tsp Lemon Juice Shake together in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into a shot glass and serve.

Yellow Submarine

11/2oz Vodka 1 /2oz White Rum 1 /2oz Banana Liqueur Shake all ingredients together until chilled in a shaker full of ice. Strain into a cocktail glass and garnish with a banana slice.

Zombie Run

1oz Light Rum 1oz Dark Rum 2oz Pineapple Juice 1 /2oz Lime Juice 3oz Lemonade Shake together in a cocktail shaker ďŹ lled with ice. Pour into a cocktail glass and garnish with a pineapple triangle or lime wheel.

UFO

/3 Glass of Genever Gin /3 Glass Bitter Lemon Soda Pour over ice into a cocktail glass and garnish with a lemon wedge.

1 2

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Imagine the feeling of cuddling up in bed next to your spouse while your children are sleeping soundly in the next room. The feeling of staying in that moment for a wife of a soldier is priceless. The robust arms that cradle your fears, fill your heart with warmth and envelops your loving spirit, also have the duty to protect the nation.

Silently and selfishly, the thought passes through your mind that you don’t want to share your husband with the nation. Although, you rightfully understand your role as an army wife, and you know what you signed up for when you said, ‘I do!’, there’s a part of you that wants a normal family life - having a partner at home every evening, having dinner, playing with the kids together as a family and having help with sharing the daily commitments of the children.

Sometimes you wish that the call doesn’t come for your partner to be deployed to fight another war because you know the battle that you have to fight when he kisses you and your kids goodbye to leave with no guarantee of a return. The fear of not seeing him for months and the loneliness of an aching heart, starts to plant deep rooted fears in your unconscious mind. While you are holding down the fort, as each day passes, that fear snowballs into doubt whilst chipping gently away at your faith. You are scared! An article on the NHS website, highlighted that a large percentage of wives suffer with stress around deployment and separation anxiety. These emotions are real and recent surveys have indicated that PTSD suffered by military wives, leads to binge drinking and alcohol abuse. How do you let go of this emotional baggage and be just as effective in your job as a mum and an army wife?

First you need to find a way of learning how to let your faith be bigger than your fears. I know you would say ‘it’s easier said than done’.

But first and foremost you need to tap deep into your reserve bank of inner strength, especially on the days you feel that you can’t cope. On the mornings, when you feel that cruel monster called insomnia has robbed you of your sleep and has sucked up all of your energy, just remember that you have the responsibility of holding the fort, while your partner is away.

So how do you juggle 101 things in a day and still keep your emotions in check so that you don’t end up as a nervous wreck in a puddle of tears?

1

Be the Calm in the storm - We women are really great in doing this when adversity strikes. We have this predisposition to take control and get the job done! So when your day seems too short because there are just too many things on your plate to do, take moments to breathe. Hitting the pause button for just 60 seconds, every hour, allows you to traffic your thoughts. If you are feeling emotional and negative, consciously flip that thought around to something that instantaneously puts a smile on your face. A great example might be a special memory with your spouse and children or if that fails, just visualise eating your favourite ice cream or most women’s favourite - chocolate cake. You now have the perfect image in your mind and your brain then floods with serotonin to boost your energy levels.

You now have this wonderful feeling for next 59 minutes.

2

Plan well but don’t be a slave to your ‘To-Do’ list - To me making copious ‘to-do’ lists sets me up for failure. I see so many of my patients, friends and family with excellent organisational skills in their mind…however they never end up completing all of their tasks that are inked on that list. This, then gets

them into a miserable rut and they start to mentally beat themselves up. They quickly forget about all the things they HAVE accomplished but focus on their failures for the day.

Remember you are only human, a beautiful one. It’s ok to break the habit of over planning. Keep things on your list simple and clear and you would be more sincere to it. You would end up having more time to spend on yourself or the kids.

3

Put yourself first - It may sound egotistical- but it is not. You need to take care of yourself first. Your mental, emotional and physical health comes first.

If you are stressed and burnt out, you are useless to everyone- especially your children and your partner, who needs a smiling, happy wife on the other side of the weekly video calls. Make time for yourself. It’s ok to ask family or friends to baby sit the kids for a couple of hoursimagine a bubble bath without kids knocking down the door, sitting in the cinema watching a movie by yourself, sitting in the coffee shop with a friend and just being, going for a walk in the woods by yourself without needing to wipe snotty noses or run behind the kids. It does sound like heaven, doesn’t it?

up becoming calmer, happier and more in control of your thoughts, so this has a positive effect on everyone else around you, especially your children. Children just love to see their mums happy! The few minutes you spend alone each day, allows you to romance yourself and get acquainted with the master behind your mind. It is liberating!

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H

olding the Fort...

Sometimes it takes energy to try out new ways of doing things. Don’t be afraid to try. If it doesn’t work for you, then use it as a learning experience and become a better person. You have the strength of a lion when it comes to protecting your loved ones.

Remember that you are an amazing wife and mum. You are doing a fantastic job because you are doing your best in holding the fort while your spouse is doing his duty.

Keep Smiling Nirasha Ramlugan

Just Simply Change Mental Health and Well-being Therapist/Coach. www.justsimplychange.co.uk For a free 30 minute consultation or if you have any questions, please feel free to call 07737495666 or email justsimplychange@yahoo.com

Be bold and brave. Make time for yourself. Giving yourself 10-15 mins a day, changes you into a super woman - your productivity and creativity increases and it makes you a great role model for your children because you are able to empathise better. You end

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t e l l u B

Journaling

What is a Bullet Journal?

Bullet Journal, or Bujo for those who want to get familiar with the lingo, is essentially a combination of a diary, a planner and a to-do list. It’s a super simple concept that can sound a little confusing at first, but once you get into the swing of things you won’t be able to stop! Bullet journaling is a brilliant way of tracking your day to day activities, thoughts and experiences, as well as setting and keeping track of long-term goals. Planners and to-do lists typically only focus on what you are doing in the future, and diaries tend to focus just on recording the events of the day. Bullet journals bring all of these things together in a neat little package!

. . . .

E .N O R U L S If you love being organised, or maybe you miss the days of diaries and filo faxes, then bullet journaling is for you.

A bullet journal is good for‌ People who have a million little to-do lists floating around People who like pen and paper to-do lists People who are into goal-setting and habit tracking People who like stationery, journaling, scrapbooking, beautiful pens, etc.

People who really love planners People who want to really love planners, or who want to be more organised People who would really like to keep a journal/diary but are having trouble sticking with the habit

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But!

None of these things are requirements for liking bullet journaling. The main idea behind bullet journaling is that you jot down quick notes instead of writing long sentences.

Some of the terminology used by bullet journaling enthusiasts can be a bit confusing, but here it is summed up:

BUJO

– Bullet Journal, a method of journaling and note taking that uses bullet points as its core structure.

INDEX

– a table of contents that you update as you go.

DAILY LOG

– things that you need to do/have done during the day

MONTHLY LOG

RAPID

RE UTU

F

LOGGING

G

LO

– traditional month calendar, things you need to do that month, things you didn’t get done last month – symbols that help you log things efficiently, for example: ! = inspiration > = brought forward from last month * = VIP note X = completed task

– year-at-a-glance calendar where you can put events, goals, and long-term things you need to do

You can use any journal to create a bullet journal. Some people take a lot of pride in making their pages as pretty as possible, and find it helpful to use a journal with a dotted grid to help them draw tables and decorate the pages evenly. Some journals come with numbered pages and blank index’s already in place. It’s also good to keep in mind that if it is too big you will never carry it round with you, but something too small will be impractical.

Just for Her issue 18 2018.indd 41

The idea of the bullet journal is that once you understand the basic symbols and approach, you can use it to record and organise basically any type of task, thought, or idea - daily, monthly, work, home, personal, school, etc. The index is basically just like a book index, where you list all the important topics and the corresponding page numbers. When you first start the bullet journal, there probably won’t be much on it - you’ll go back to the index and add in the topics and the page numbers on it as you go.You don’t have to put everything in your index, but it’s a good place for the important stuff you will likely want to easily reference later. It could include DIY projects, work, socialising, music, books, or writing.Your index can be as specific as you want it to be. For example, you can create a single entry for “Travel,” and put all travelrelated page numbers there, or you can break things into more specific entries (like “Wales trip” and “Spain trip”).

The next pages are the “Future Log”. This is essentially a fancy way of saying a calendar! You’ll want to create a space for each month, 3 to a page for example, where you can write down birthdays, weddings, holidays or even goals you want to have accomplished by certain months. Many bullet journalers also like to include 2 pages dedicated to each month to show a bigger picture of each month’s goals and activities.You can find tons of cool layouts for these pages by looking for inspiration online. Even if you aren’t particularly creative there are ways to make the pages look fancy just by using some coloured gel pens and a ruler!

After that, you can create pages for anything you like! You could add in daily or weekly spreads, have a page dedicated to all the books you read for the whole year, use rapid log against movies you’ve seen/want to see, a dream log, affirmations, recipes, budgeting, sales logs, mood tracker, exercise tracker… the list is endless!

28/06/2018 11:58

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Pin-tested!

Ah, Pinterest! If you’re a member of the popular app, you’ll probably have heaps of boards with all manner of crafts, recipes and ideas pinned for all different aspects of your life. Cooking, keeping the kids busy, party ideas and exercise tips to name just a few, but although you may have hundreds of pins, how many have you actually done in real life?!

Each issue we will test out some of the things we have pinned and see if they turn out as well as we hoped they would! If there’s something you’d like us to test out then get in touch by emailing rebecca@forcespublishing.co.uk or tell us on Facebook!

FIRE BREATHING DRAGON This easy craft project comes from onelittleproject.com.

My 8 and 3 year old boys had sooo much fun making these and playing with them after. The instructions were easy to follow and aside from needing some help opening the lids of the paint they needed no help creating them by themselves!

Pintested score: 10/10

RASPBERRY CHEESECAKE BROWNIE This recipe from The Hummingbird Bakery comes up on my Pinterest page regularly, and it really does taste as good as it looks!

A triple layer of brownie base, cheesecake centre and topped with raspberry flavour whipped cream and fresh raspberries - it’s one of the nicest desserts I’ve ever made! (If a little fiddly and pricey with all the ingredients needed!) Unfortunately the topping went a bit runny and I will say it was quite time consuming; I’m not sure it would be something I’d whip up last minute, it definitely needs an afternoon spent on it with no distractions from the kids!

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Pintested score: 8/10

28/06/2018 11:58

HERB PLANTERS I loved the look of these punny platers when I was searching on Pinterest for some ideas for my kitchen windowsill. They were cheap and easy to make, and I love how they turned out so much I’m planning on making a load more as gifts for friends & family!

Pintested score: 10/10

MUG RACK As soon as I saw this pin from sewsweetviolet.blogspot.co.uk I knew I wanted one to house my ever growing collection of mugs (the good ones that aren’t relegated to the back of the cupboard!). I can’t take the credit for this as I managed to persuade my lovely husband to make it for me and I am so pleased I did! It’s like a working piece of art and he’s since had several requests from friends and relatives to make them one!

All it took was some offcuts of wood he had lying around, wood glue and some white paint. Apparently it was a bit of an arse to get the measurements right but I reckon it was worth it!

Pintested score: 10/10

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TEPEE Anything that gets the kids playing outside is a good thing in my book and this tepee has definitely been a hit. I spotted this on Pinterest a while ago and had forgotten all about it until recently when my husband was driving past a house with a load of branches outside. Rather than keep on driving, like most people would, he pulled over and knocked on the door to ask if they were going spare! Luckily for us, they were, so he loaded them into the car and brought them home. An hour later, with the use of some strong twine, the tepee was erected and it’s a lovely addition to our garden!

Pintested score: 10/10

BANANA OAT COOKIES I am no Mary Berry and so anything that promises a tasty treat with no skill or effort required is getting pinned! These healthy cookies from aucuisine.com are made using only 3 ingredients (bananas, oats and raisins), take less than 20 minutes from start to finish and taste‌ OK! They definitely aren’t a substitute for chocolate chip cookies but as a breakfast on the go, I think they would be perfect. * Update: I ate these the next morning and it was like eating cold porridge that had gone hard! Best enjoyed fresh!

Pintested score: 6/10 46

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EAST MILITARY CATCHMENT

F Jan Owbridge was married to an Army

helicopter pilot but found a way to become a successful business leader in the field of Financial Education, helping families to become debt free and financially independent with the help of Genistar.

Genistar was brought over to the UK by Jeff Lestz and came from a highly successful USA business model and have, since 2007 adapted and fine tuned that model to suit the UK market. Genistar has grown year on year since then and this past year (2017) has experienced the biggest % growth since it started, with all areas of the company up well over 100%.

As one of the founding members of Genistar, Jan is now an Executive Vice President within Genistar; her son is a Senior Vice President in the same company, and her husband is the office manager. Jan reflects back.

“I already knew Jeff and the concepts of the company,” she said. “I knew that with him at the helm it had to succeed since he has such a passion and conviction, so for me it was a no-brainer. Being an ethical company, offering ordinary people the opportunity to do something extraordinary with their lives, while helping others, you can’t ask for more than that from a business.”

As a business model, Genistar is needed in today’s society as financial education

rom Forces Wife To Executive Vice President isn’t taught in schools; it’s been proven to work as it has been growing over the past 11 years; offers support to all

people, starting a new career is daunting.

Genistar offers a support system second to none and is a great opportunity for ex-

representatives, not only by the main company itself but by the teams you

servicemen and women to build their own business with freedom to be themselves.

become a part of, has enormous growth potential (you can basically

Not to mention the excellent remuneration – the financial sector is the highest paid in

work at whatever level you choose, to realize the kind of income you want), has multiple income streams; is ethical, as it is governed by the Financial Conduct Authority and is very affordable.

As a representative you don’t need to be an expert in finances. In fact they simply teach a system that is focused on educating clients, empowering them to make smarter financial decisions for themselves.

Jan said, “We loved army life, living in Germany and Cyprus as well as the UK. I remember the Wives’ Club where we would have people come to give presentations to us every month. While our husbands were away it was a great way of passing the time. I have often thought that Genistar would be perfect for that, since we do free presentations for so many groups of people. “ “Coming out of the army was a bit of a challenge! Having spent 22 years with the camaraderie and support given in the army it was a shock to the system to find that people in ‘Civvy Street’ weren’t as supportive or friendly. For a lot of

the world and there is no requirement for expertise or experience, since full training is given. You can also get paid while you are training, too, which is a bonus!”

“One thing I know about service people is that that they have a strong work ethic, know how to work as a team and how to focus on goals. These are all attributes that make a good Vice President with Genistar.

Actually, one of our newest VPs is an ex Gurkha! “ Jan concluded, “We’ve been fortunate that we found Genistar and we now have a good passive income which allows us to enjoy life. We love what we do too much to retire but we certainly take lots of cruises!”

We would love the opportunity to work with service personnel. For wives of serving members, one of the challenges is looking for an income with work that fits with their lifestyle. There aren’t many jobs where you can take time off to fit in with your husbands working schedule! Freedom is key in what we do! Service personnel looking for an opportunity upon leaving the forces often have limited choices and even less freedom – it’s certainly worth taking a look at what we do.

If you are open to look at the opportunity or have any questions then please contact Sara Giller on 07971 346241 for an informal chat or email sara.giller @genistar.org

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Are you looking for additional income with hours to suit or the possibility of a career change?

Do you like helping others?

Then maybe you might be who we are looking for.

We are looking for motivated, coachable people to work locally, helping families become debt free and financially independent.

Full training given with ongoing mentoring and no large outlay, within the fastest growing financial services company in the UK. Absolutely No experience required.

No products to buy.

Opportunity to EARN while you train.

With no obligation, text your interest or find out more by phoning Sara Giller on 07971 346241 or email sara.giller@genistar.org

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BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY

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O

utstanding ats

Who knew that the humble oat could be turned into so many tasty treats! We’ve rounded up our favourite oat recipes. Try overnight oats for a quick on-the-go, indulgent breakfast you can make the night before or if you have a little more time in the mornings give baked oats a go. We’d love to see your results, remember to share pictures on our Facebook page if you give them a try!

Cherry Bakewell Overnight Oats 50g frozen cherries 1 tsp runny honey Small handful chopped almonds 40g rolled oats 150ml almond milk 3 drops almond extract (optional)

Put all the ingredients in a jar and mix well.

Cover and leave overnight in the fridge. Can be microwaved for 30 seconds on high if you prefer your oats warm!

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Chocolate & Strawberry Baked Oats 1 cup rolled oats 1 cup almond milk 1 cup water 1 tbsp cacao 1 tbsp maple syrup ½ cup strawberries, chopped

Banana Cocoa Crunch Overnight Oats

Preheat the oven to 180C/170 fan/gas 6. Add the oats and cacao powder to a bowl and mix. Then add the milk, water and maple syrup and stir well. Fold in the chopped strawberries and transfer to a heat proof dish then bake for 15 minutes. Serve with yoghurt or cream and more fresh strawberries!

40g rolled oats Small handful of hazelnuts 150ml milk or soya milk 1 tbsp maple syrup ½ banana, chopped 1 tsp cocoa nibs Preheat the oven to 200C/180 fan/Gas 6. Put the oats and nuts onto a baking tray and toast for 6-7 minutes until they smell fragrant. Set aside to cool, then roughly chop the hazelnuts and put them in a lidded jar. Add the oats, pour over the milk and maple syrup and top with the banana and cocoa nibs. Leave overnight in the fridge and enjoy in the morning!

Cinnamon Apple Overnight Oats with Date Butter 40g rolled oats ½ apple, grated Small handful of pecans, chopped 150ml milk or soya milk 1 /4 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tbsp date butter (see below) For the date butter 100g dates, finely chopped 3 tbsp boiling water pinch of ground cinnamon Make the date butter by placing the dates in a heatproof bowl and slowly adding the boiling water. Mash the dates using a fork until they form a smooth paste then add the cinnamon and set aside to cool.

To prepare the oats, put all the ingredients in a jar and stir. Cover and store in the fridge overnight.

If you prefer them warm then microwave for 30 seconds. Add date butter to taste.

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Cheese & Bacon Baked Oats 40g oats 90g quark 25g mozerella 25g cheddar, grated 1 egg 2 bacon medallions Salt, pepper & a pinch of mixed herbs Preheat oven to 200C/180 fan/Gas 6. Grill the bacon medallions and chop into squares. Mix together the oats, quark, egg, seasonings and half of the mozerella. Grease an oven-proof dish and pour in the mixture. Top with the rest of the mozerella and the cheddar, then bake for 35 mins until golden brown. These are lovely with grilled tomatoes, mushrooms and maybe a sausage or two on the side if you are feeling extra hungry!

Darylle Monnington M.A. UKCP registered psychotherapist West London

Individual Therapy-Couples TherapyRelationships and Parenting-Mindfulness-Expat Therapy-Online Therapy Retreats-Workshops-Conferences ISTDP Practitioner Telephone 0780 975 9237 daryllemonnington@gmail.com www.daryllemonnington.com

Yvonne J Douglas BSc (Hons) MBACP Spiritual Healer & Transformer Mind, Body & Soul Author & Inspirational Speaker Offering: Readings, Past Life Regression, Sekhem Energy Healing, Soul Retrieval, Coaching, Counselling, Sister Circle, Healing Sanctuary Retreat, Bespoke Personal Development Workshops

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www.yvonnejdouglas.com White Chocolate & Raspberry Baked Oats 40g rolled oats 40g fresh raspberries 20g white chocolate chips ½ tsp vanilla extract ½ tsp baking powder 100g vanilla yoghurt ¾ tbsp sugar 1 large egg Preheat the oven to 190C/180fan/Gas 6. Grease a small oven proof dish and add in everything except the chocolate and raspberries.

Mix it all together then top off with the raspberries and white chocolate chips. Bake for 20-30 minutes until golden brown on top and set in the middle. Serve with a dollop of ice cream for a real treat!

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Therapeutic Massage and Coaching

With over 20 years experience in providing mental health and healing services, I offer a unique and well needed Holistic Transformational Healing intervention. It is particularly well suited for those in recovery, crisis or a major life transition!

Items offered separately if requested (deep tissue massage/life coaching) Please call Charley on 07761912453 or email info@selflovepromotions.com for a free consultation Come to me in E14, home visits or Skype calls

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Does life sometimes feel hard to cope with?

I can help you release and heal difficult feelings Hypnotherapy Spiritual Healing Professional Counselling skills Free, no obligation, introductory chat DISSOLVING THE BLOCKS TO SELF-HEALING “After years of stress in the Services, Kathryn’s methods helped me feel good again about the world and my place in it.” (M.A.: Ex Police officer and Reservist)

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Staying fit and healthy can be a challenge for many, and having a partner in the military and moving around a lot can make it even harder to establish and maintain a good workout routine. We spoke to the lovely Beatrice Pattenden, creator of Operation-Drop-A-Size, about her fabulous fitness programme designed specifically for military wives!

Why did you become a fitness trainer?

I qualified as a health and fitness specialist when I graduated from the University of Physical Education and Sport as I’ve always been passionate about fitness and helping people achieve their fitness goals.

What inspired you to create Operation Drop A Size?

Well the Operation Drop-a-Size came about after I realised that although I love training face to face, when we get posted I have to start from the beginning in building up my clientele. Also, the ladies wanted to continue training with me so I thought “Why not create a programme that is specifically designed for military wives that allows them to exercise, get fit and be coached online�? We all know that when we become mums we have other priorities and although we have a gym on camp we are rarely able to go, usually due to childcare issues, so the home workouts are easy to follow and no equipment needed.

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Can you tell us what the programme entails?

My programme is a 4-week online fitness and coaching programme that helps

military spouses lose weight by following a series of home workouts coupled with coaching from myself throughout their fitness journey. We start with an online consultation where we discuss the individual fitness goals and we create a workout plan that suits individual lifestyles.

The workouts are delivered through a personalised app where you can send feedback after each workout. That way the ladies are staying on track and accountable.

Most recently, I have created a 21-day recipe book that will be sent via post and also accessible online. I am there every step of the way to make sure the ladies feel supported and succeed in their weight loss journey.

How long has it been going?

I launched the programme this year in January!

Is business going well?

So far it is proving to be a success and the ladies that followed the programme say not only that they lost a dress size but also continued with the healthy lifestyle which is exactly what my aim is for them after the programme ends. The programme is

28/06/2018 11:59

the beginning of their fitness journey and I’m hoping that after the 4 weeks they will have the necessary tools to continue making daily changes for a healthy and fulfilling life.

What is it about Operation Drop a Size that makes it perfect for military wives?

Well firstly there are elements of the Programme Materials that are specifically designed for military wives like the Destress Guide that contains tips and advice on how to improve our mental wellbeing and control our stress levels. Secondly, the whole Operation Drop-a-Size community is formed of likeminded military spouses that understand the various issues when it comes to getting into shape.

Do you think it is harder for military wives to create and stick to certain fitness programmes? (because of childcare, routines changing often or at short notice, added stress of the lifestyle etc?)

I think it can be! Even as a fitness professional I found it hard to engage in physical activities when I was on maternity leave due to lack of classes for new mums, support with childcare whilst my husband was away and flexibility of home workouts that comes with a support network like the one I’m offering throughout my programme.

How would you describe your philosophy about being fit and healthy?

I am a massive advocate in making fitness one of your priorities and being part of your daily habits rather than quick fix that will give you results temporarily but won’t work in the long run. Although I’m very passionate about exercise and healthy eating, I also think that life is about balance that includes being able to enjoy that piece of cake and glass of wine. Excluding completely certain foods or treats is not viable and it will make you feel like you’re on a “diet” which has such a negative impact on the way you look at food.

Who or what gives you the most inspiration? What keeps you motivated?

The reason why I am committed in staying

Just for Her issue 18 2018.indd 55

healthy is firstly for myself. Think airplane and oxygen mask scenario; you first need to take care of yourself in order to care for loved ones. I also want to be a positive role model for my daughter. I want her to grow up thinking that exercise and fuelling your body with great nutrition is the norm.

Can you talk us through a typical work-out routine?

I usually train 3-4 times a week, doing a variety of sessions ranging from cardio, strength and yoga. The studies are showing that having a variety of weekly workouts, especially strength training, will help you lose more weight than cardio alone. I also believe that having an active lifestyle doesn’t mean you need to spend hours and hours in the gym. Anything that gets your body moving is beneficial for maintaining a healthy weight.

Can you tell us some typical meals that would complement your workout programme?

The way I explain it to my clients is anything that is packaged will usually contain lots of preservatives, additives and colourants so cooking fresh whole food meals is better for you. I love quick, easy to make meals like frittatas, avocado on toast, quinoa salads, homemade wraps and simple, no-added sugar snacks such as coconut, nuts and chocolate bark (the recipes are in the Operation Drop-a-Size book)

"I joined ‘Operation Drop-aSize’ after reaching a plateau with not only my weight, but my health and fitness in general after having my two children. I have not been disappointed! I have found the workouts easy to fit into my busy days, the food information helpful and easy to follow and Beatrice really supportive and responsive to any questions I have had. Beatrice has shown me how I can incorporate exercise into my daily routine and even encourage my little girl to join in with me. I have never done anything like this before but would definitely recommend it to anyone!

Lynne Wood

Where would you like to see Operation Drop-a-Size go? Where do you picture the business in 5 years time?

Reaching more military ladies that will complete the programme and be successful in achieving their weight loss goals! Also creating a bigger community in each camp of likeminded ladies that are enjoying being active and taking part in regular classes, bootcamps and wellbeing events.

How can people find out more and sign up to Operation Drop-a-Size?

By vistiting my website www.beatricepattendenfitness.com or http://facebook.com/ beatricepattendenfitness.com I’m always available for a quick chat and to answer any fitness related questions that you might have.

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“We may be busier than ever before but we are more sedentary than ever before too.

With a little focus and determination it’s easy-peasy to get that step count up to 10,000 without breaking a sweat!”

10,000

is the magic number… and here’s how to hit it!

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associated with inactivity and obesity, stating that being overweight is the single biggest cause of preventable cancer in the UK.

to see where you are at. You might find it motivates you to take a stroll during your lunch break or after dinner.

Walking is a great exercise for just about anyone, even pregnant women, elderly people and those that are already overweight and struggle with exercise. But sometimes it seems like everything is against us reaching that hallowed 10,000 steps a day. We may be busier than ever before but we are more sedentary than ever before too. With a little focus and determination it’s easy-peasy to get that step count up to 10,000 without breaking a sweat!

Run for the hills

Build it up slowly

I

t’s no secret that simply walking more can unlock a huge range of health benefits. From lowering the risk of developing high blood pressure, high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes, to keeping our hearts healthy, our waistlines trim and our joints supple. Studies have shown that walking and exercising can work as an effective anti-depressant, increase our energy levels and can even boost brainpower.

A poll commissioned by Cancer Research UK last year found that 52% of UK adults walk a mile a day or less during the week, and a fifth of those people walk less than a quarter of a mile a day. Considering the link between cancer and obesity and lack of exercise this is worrying, and Cancer Research UK has warned of the risks

Ok, so we may have just said it’s easy-peasy but if you’re not used to walking 10,000 steps a day then having that as your starting point may be a tad ambitious. Just like with any other exercise routine, start moderately and slowly increase your goal. Adding 200300 steps a day until you reach 10,000 is a good aim to have. If you don’t know where to begin then start at 2,000 steps, which is roughly 1 mile, so you will be aiming for around 5 miles a day eventually.

Use a pedometer A pedometer is a device that counts the number of steps you take. It records each time your hip moves up and down.You can pick them up cheap on eBay and Amazon, or you can use an app – in fact most phones have a pedometer built in these days. Some people prefer to use a watch type device instead such as a fitbit as you are less likely to put it down and walk around without it like you might do with a phone. Aim to check your progress a few times a day

Or at least walk up and down them!

Walking up hills and stairs burns more calories and tones more muscles than walking along flat ground. If you live in a hilly area make use of the terrain, and remember that the faster you walk the more calories you will burn.

Commit yourself to walking more, and often Walking may be easy but reaching the 10,000 mark can be taxing when you’re aiming that high every day. Walking is a low impact exercise and to reap the benefits of it it needs to be done regularly. Try and turn walking into a habit by designating certain times of the day to walking such as on your lunch hour, and set yourself reminders to keep moving throughout the day. A few other good tricks to bump up your numbers are; * get off the bus a few stops early * take the stairs and not the lift * park in the furthest parking spot away from the shops or work instead of the closest * be prepared for the weather by checking the forecast and donning a rain coat and wellies if need be instead of using bad weather as an excuse * don’t be tempted to do your weekly shop online – going to the shops and walking around the supermarket could boost your step count by hundreds! * walk to a co-workers office to speak to them instead of emailing or calling them

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GENDER FLU-DITY Just for Her issue 18 2018.indd 60

28/06/2018 12:00

There is much in the media at the moment about gender diversity or fluidity. As more and more people, especially those in younger generations, defy gender stereotypes and embrace their true selves we take a closer look at gender nonconformity…

T

here was a boy, at college, who sometimes used to paint his nails blue and wear eyeliner. Usually he did this for nights out but sometimes, he would apply the kohl for the hell of it. He had a girlfriend, he played football and he was obsessed with sport.

He also loved gossiping, blubbed at the end of rom coms and had a bigger nail varnish collection than his girlfriend.

Back in the 1990s, I am sorry to say, my friend (who we shall call Toby for the sake of this feature) attracted a certain amount of attention – both good and bad - for sometimes feeling what was considered typically ‘feminine’ and at other times embracing being a ‘traditional’ bloke. Some people referred to him as ‘weird’ – but that was kind compared to some of the abuse he received. Other people thought him ‘intriguing’ and there were others who didn’t really know what to make of him.

Some thought he was attention seeking, others thought he was rebelling. But he was actually quite shy and most certainly wasn’t rebellious - after all if a teenager was going to rebel, there were far more dramatic ways to do it than the easily-removed marks of a few splodges of nail polish.

Because, you see, Toby liked the impermanence of make-up. For it meant, when he woke up and felt masculine, he could go barefaced. But on days when he felt more feminine he could apply a flick of eyeliner. And this in the mid-1990s, where we lived at least, was quite radical. Toby was a bit of a trailblazer. He was brave enough to express his true self and to emerge as a strong-minded individual from the sea of clones that the rest of us teenagers hid within.

Unlike today, there wasn’t really a word to describe Toby’s gender diversity. Luckily things are changing and many people are starting to defy traditional gender

stereotypes in lots of different ways, which are all personal and unique to them.

Whether it is parents dressing their girls in blue or yellow and offering them a variety of non-gender specific toys to play with or young people who are embracing the gender diverse nature of their emotions, self-expression, appearance, actions and much more.

For example, one teenager I know, through a friend, likes to be referred to as ‘she’, has long, glossy hair but prefers to wear garments that are traditionally considered boys’ clothes. When she was at primary school, she would go through periods of time where she preferred to play with boys.

And then she went through weeks or months where she would rather hang out with girls and practise gymnastics and dancing. Sometimes she wears make up but always the clothes she wears are those traditionally considered ‘male’ garments.

For a growing number of people, gender isn’t as simple as male or female, boy or girl, man or woman. It is much more fluid. So called “Millennials” or those born in the 1980s and 1990s are leading the way, being known as the ‘gender fluid generation’ and representing more people who feel their gender is not defined by biology.

Countries such as Sweden are also paving the way with gender-neutral pre-schools where children are not referred to by their sex but using pronouns such as ‘hen’ which is the neutral form of ‘han’ (him) and ‘hon’ she. Here in the UK the Labour Party has a policy of self-definition where people can be recognised as a woman if they define themselves as female.

The way Toby expressed himself set him apart in the 1990s. But if he was a teenager today, he would probably have many more friends, classmates and acquaintances who felt a similar sense of fluidity about

their gender. Indeed, for many people today gender is non-binary and is in fact a spectrum with many different possibilities within. The only limitations are imagination.

To understand more, there is an informative video available through Mermaids UK, an organisation which supports young people who feel at odds with their birth gender.

The “What is Gender” video begins by explaining there is gender identity - which is how we perceive ourselves - and then there is sex, based on biology. When these two line up it is referred to as ‘cisgender’.

When someone feels these don’t match they might describe themselves as transgender, trans, non-binary, gender fluid or gender questioning.

One of the interviewees who speaks in the video explained they pick and choose which bits of each sex work for them. They said it’s not already figured out, it’s fluid and changes over time. Another talks about gender expression - this is how you present your gender either through your actions or how you dress. This can also be conveyed through the pronouns you use - he, she or they.

Someone who is gender fluid will find their gender varies over time. Sometimes they may feel male, other times female or they may even feel ‘neutral’. Sometimes they might identify with other non-binary identities such as ‘agender’ which means without gender.

Some gender fluid people may also identify with being transgender, which is an overall term for people for whom the gender they were assigned at birth does not match with their identity. They may feel they were assigned a sex which does not match with their gender.

Crucially, the only person who can truly define your gender identity is you.

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Just for Her is looking for interesting and relevant articles about the Service community…

If you have something you have written, ideally with pictures too, then please send your articles in to justforher@forcespublishing.co.uk.

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FROM THE ARCHIVE

EXTREME What’s the Appeal?

Experts explain why some people feel the need to push themselves to the edge in extreme sports…

I

t starts off with a 2.4 mile swim. The next phase is a 112mile bike ride. If that’s not enough, the final leg of the race is a 26.2 mile run - a full marathon. It’s a triathlon, and the most famous one is known as the Ironman. Why would anyone in their right mind want to submit themselves to such agony?

“There’s an innate characteristic in some people,” says Justin Anderson, PsyD, a sports consultant for the Center for Sports Psychology in Denton, Texas. “Some people are turned on by that stuff; they get a lot of adrenaline by it, and they gravitate toward activities that give them that feeling. For some it’s jumping out of airplanes, for others it’s climbing Mt. Everest, and for others, it’s the Ironman. When they find that sport or activity that gives them that feeling, they say there is nothing better.”

What is their motivation, and why do people keep pushing the envelope to more extremes, never feeling satisfied with their last conquest? Why do the rest of us tap into our inner voyeurs when

the X-Games are on TV? And why do we find pleasure in watching extreme athletes risk their lives? Experts, along with an Ironman who’s in training for his third competition, give us the science behind the rush.

The Motivation of Marathoners So what is it that makes a person push themselves beyond the limits, when the rest of us are sitting comfortably on our couch? Their motivation stems from achieving a goal, and being competitive.

“Researchers [have] found that the primary difference between the elite and the nonelite triathlete was that the goal was key, and competition was the second factor,” says Lester Mayers, MD, director of sports medicine at Pace University in Pleasantville, N.Y. The goal, whether it be crossing the finish line after a grueling triathlon or reaching the 29,035-foot peak of the highest mountain in the world, is the Holy Grail; accomplishing it with a competitive edge is what this small and elite group of people seek out. It’s also

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SPORTS: knowing that you are one of very few who have dared to dream - and achieved that dream.

The Adrenaline Factor When it comes to extreme sports, the adrenaline factor likely plays a role in explaining why athletes reach for the outer limits as well.

“It’s a sense of identity,” says Mayers. “The triathlon is not a sport that is crammed full of people. There are only a handful of people who have the ability to train for and accomplish this feat.”

An “adrenaline rush” occurs when the adrenal gland is stimulated through an activity that causes stress on the body, and certainly extreme sports, such as backcountry snowboarding and bungee jumping, fall into the category of causing stress. According to the University of Maryland Endocrinology Health Guide, the stimulation of the adrenal gland releases a number of hormones, including epinephrine, or adrenaline. This increases the heart rate and the force of heart contractions, facilitates blood flow to the muscles and brain, causes relaxation of smooth muscles, and helps with the conversion of glycogen to glucose in the liver. For extreme athletes, this adrenaline rush is a feeling that can’t come often enough.

While competing in a group of elite athletes may bring money, fame, and glory, most importantly to some, it also brings a healthy dose of respect.

“Skiing down from the top of a mountain where a helicopter drops you off alone, or jumping out of planes, I have a feeling those people have a sense of identity and that identity is important to them because they feel that earns them respect,” Mayers says.

“Caring for athletes as I do, my own personal opinion is that the most important desire they have is for respect.”

continues over page >>

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“A lot of extreme athletes report that they are seeking that rush,” says Anderson. “They’re looking for those sensations they get from putting their life on the line.” It’s a feeling that can’t be duplicated in any other activity, and for many, explains Anderson, it’s a true sense of feeling alive. “The emotion that the adrenaline feeds in to is a heightened sense of being alive,” Anderson says. “All your senses are in an acute level of awareness, and it’s that fight or flight response. They either do it and live - or they die. That is what they are playing in to, and that is a very primitive thing that is going on.”

Pushing to the Edge So why is it that their last accomplishment is never good enough?

Why do extreme athletes always need to push it to the next level, closer to the edge?

“Extreme athletes say that it’s the law of diminishing returns,” says Anderson. “Reaching the same goal over and over doesn’t bring the same amount of excitement as it did the first time, so they want to push the envelope and go for the next big goal.”

Take free diving, for example, explains Anderson. “People who free dive with no oxygen tank are always pushing deeper and deeper into the ocean with just one breath,” he says.

“They’re never satisfied with their last dive.” It’s the risk that is appealing, and the riskier, the better.

“Each time they have a success they want to push themselves farther. Any great athlete tends to do that, but this is especially true in extreme sports,” says Berman. “Once they accomplish something, they will start to lose the rush, so they have to push themselves harder and set the bar higher.”

From the Mouth of an Ironman Experts say it’s about goals, competition, respect, adrenaline, and always reaching for the next level. Rick Hall, a registered dietitian and two-time Ironman athlete, explains how right they are.

“Competing in the Ironman is solely for me,” says Hall. “It’s the ability to say I’ve done it. It’s pushing my body to its absolute limits.

I’m competitive in nature in life and business but when it comes to competing as an athlete at the Ironman level, it’s about selfcompetition and how well I can do and what my personal best can be.”

While Hall explains that during the event he often asks himself why he would put himself through such agony; the answer becomes clear when the end is in sight. “It’s a long-endurance event, and several times during the day, and when you’re way out in the middle of nowhere and you’re away from spectators, you think, ‘Why am I doing this?’” says Hall. “But you get to the finish line, and it answers those questions all at once. It’s an absolute adrenaline rush, and it’s very emotional.”

“The mentality is that people who are drawn to extreme sports are risk takers… they love to push themselves to the limit physically, emotionally, and in every way possible.”

“The mentality is that people who are drawn to extreme sports are risk takers,” says Jenn Berman, PhD, a psychologist in private practice in Beverly Hills, Calif., who was a member of the 1984 exhibition Olympic team in gymnastics.

“It’s that they love to push themselves to the limit - physically, emotionally, and in every way possible.” There is always another goal to be set and reached, and the bar just keeps inching upward.

At the end of the Ironman, there are thousands of people screaming for competitors to put one foot in front of the other and cross the line. “It’s one of the few sports where there’s no booing - everyone wants you to succeed and they’re screaming for you because you’ve just accomplished a

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huge feat,” says Hall. “When I cross the finish line, I’m ready to sign up for the next one. For me, that’s a big rush, and it lasts for several weeks. ” Hall, who completed his second Ironman in better time (by one hour) than his first, is already training for No. 3 in 2007. “There’s a statistic out there that says less than half of a percent of the world’s population can complete a regular marathon,” says Hall. “Now consider adding a 2.4-mile swim and 112-mile bike [ride] to that, and you can imagine that there aren’t many people who can say they can do it, or have done it.”

Watching the Extreme Most of us are content to play the role of screaming fan at the end of an Ironman, standing by while elite athletes like Hall cross the finish line. Why is it that we enjoy watching others endure the blood, sweat, and tears of extreme competition?

“Why do we like to watch NASCAR? Boxing?” asks Berman.

“It’s human nature to have curiosity about the outcome of such extreme sports and how people can defy death.” Will they live, will they die? Will they succeed, will they fail? It certainly brings a new meaning to the reality TV trend. “It’s different for everyone, but it’s exciting to watch these people compete,” says Anderson. “They are testing themselves to an extreme measure, and watching them push themselves while you say, ‘I could never do that,’ is fascinating.”

So why doesn’t a mere mortal feel the urge to go the extreme?

“While we all enjoy the feeling you get from participating in something extreme, extreme athletes just gravitate toward the activities that create these emotions,” says Anderson. The science behind the rush really comes down to the finish line, the top of the mountain, the next big wave - the finale.

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Quick

GETAWAYS Not great at planning your holidays ahead?

Maybe you’re more spontaneous with your jet setting, planning just doesn’t fit in with your lifestyle, or you want to make a quick getaway for the best price possible. Here’s our guide to getting the most out of your last minute holiday!

Check comparison sites There are many reasons why planning a holiday well in advance may not be possible. Maybe you’re not sure how long your partner will be home, you might just fancy a quick escape from the daily grind or have a few annual leave days to use up. Last minute deals are great if you’re looking to save money too. Make sure you check websites such as Travel Supermarket, Holiday Pirates and icelolly. com to guarantee you’re getting the best last minute deal possible. These sites scan lots of different last minute deals all at once, and all of the holidays and holiday packages advertised on these sites are ATOL protected so you get peace of mind and a great price! Remember to take your time with booking and do some research. It’s highly likely the first deal you find won’t be the best, so check your comparison websites thoroughly. Saying that, if you find something that fits your budget, your timeframe and sounds like you’ll have fun, book it before someone else does!

Really do leave it to the last minute if you can!

Well, maybe not literally the last minute, but the more patient you are the bigger the reward will be. Last minute holiday packages tend to be classed as 8-10 weeks before the departure date, but the biggest drops in price come between a week and a month before you depart. Hold out as long as you can and you may just get an unbelievable deal. This obviously does come with risks though – you could always end up with no holiday at all!

Be flexible Keeping an open mind and being flexible is key when you’re searching for a last minute deal. Make use of the ‘Inspire Me’ buttons on budget airline websites and browse

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Skyscanner’s ‘fly everywhere’ section for the best rates on airfare. Don’t dismiss travelling when it’s the low season, too. Hotels and airlines still need to make money during these times and are happy to fill spaces for less. Early morning and mid-week flights also tend to be the cheapest, so keep that in mind when you’re looking as it can cut down expenses considerably.

Call a travel agent You’ve scoured the comparison sites and think you’ve found the best deal.. but just to be absolutely sure pick up the phone and give your local travel agent a call. High street travel agents are still going strong, so there’s no harm in phoning the office to check if they have any last minute deals that can top what you’ve found online.

Travel agents have access to a whole array of deals and discounts that the general public don’t and haggling is totally acceptable too – especially for a last minute deal! Asking for discount per person rather than for the whole holiday could save a few extra pounds, too.

Search for discount codes It’s not always fruitful but it’s certainly worth a go if you can be bothered! Keep an eye on travel offers on Groupon and Wowcher, and have a look on www. vouchercodes.co.uk who normally have lists of offers that are available but not always advertised clearly on

travel sites themselves. Worst case scenario, you waste an hour and your voucher code gets declined but it’s worth a try, right?!

Don’t expect too much We’ll be honest – you aren’t going to book your dream holiday to New Zealand or a trip around America at the last minute for a truly fantastic price.

Be realistic about what to expect from your holiday. Long haul flights are still going to be pricey whether it’s booked 12 months or 12 hours before you go.

Relax. Unwind.

Get in a

flip flop State of mind.

The best last minute deals come in the form of 3-4 night stays, city breaks or beach getaways. And the saying still goes – if it looks too good to be true it probably is!

Remember to check the distance from the airport to the hotel, and bear in mind any additional costs you might incur travelling from the hotel to the main attractions.

Remember to find out how much baggage comes with your deal and whether transfers are included.

If you’re booking a late cruise deal pay attention to what’s included in the price and how long you’ll be at sea.You might get an excellent price for the cabin but could end up spending a lot on food and drink on board if you’re at sea for days on end!

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It is holiday season and whether you are enjoying a staycation in a British beauty spot or jet setting off for an overseas adventure, it’s likely you will come across some colourful characters on your travels. Here’s a few types of holidaymaker we have encountered on our annual vacations… Do you recognise any of them?

THE BRITS ABROAD No holiday would be complete without the institution that is the ‘Brit Abroad’.

Stereotypical though they might be, we can all hold our hands up to spotting these lobster-tanned, pint-guzzling, duty free-hoarding specimens at some point on our travels. In fact, some of us might even own up to actually displaying some of the characteristics. Who doesn’t sneak a stash of Yorkshire teabags into their suitcase before a trip overseas?

Most commonly spotted in Spanish coastal resorts, the Brit Abroad is instantly identifiable by their painful pink ‘suntan’.

Other characteristics include a refusal to try the local cuisine and magnetic attraction to bars and venues which show Premier League football or repeats of Only Fools and Horses.

Male ‘Brits Abroad’ (also known as Guiris by the Spanish) tend to go topless as they have invested lots time and money into cultivating their Beer Belly, so are naturally keen to show it off. They cover their dignity with novelty shorts and accessorise with socks and sandals. Females favour a bikini with either a Union Jack design or something equally bright to clash with the toxic red ‘tan’.

Come the evening they might smarten up, with Mr Brit throwing on a football shirt to prevent spilling Ketchup over the belly. Mrs Brit, meanwhile,

accessorises with a floral garland and a Sex on the Beach cocktail. Brits Abroad rarely go sightseeing. The only ‘sight’ they see is their drunken mate, face down in the gutter at the end of a big session in Barry’s British Bar. And as for the lingo… well, everyone speaks English don’t they? It’s the international language. Just speak a bit more loudly, and a bit more sloooooowly and bob’s your uncle.

Now, where’s my fry up, El Dave-o?

THE OVER-CHATTY GUEST This is the person who always ‘pops up’ when you are trying to catch a moment’s peace on your longed-for relaxing break.

Although they tend to be lone travellers, they can sometimes be in a couple which can mean double the torment for anyone caught in their trap.

The Chatty Guest isn’t always immediately obvious. On your first day they will probably be busy conducting surveillance,

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searching for an unsuspecting but malleable victim to target and waiting for their opportunity. It doesn’t take much… It could be a dropped napkin or a muddle with hotel rooms – they will pounce on any vulnerability to launch their attack.

Once initial eye contact has been made, that’s it.You may as well say goodbye to your tranquil holiday.

The over-chatty guest, you see, loves talking.

But conversation is a one way street and they will spend most of your two-week break telling you in great detail about the most personal aspects of their life. Their divorce, their hysterectomy or how they once got arrested for stalking a minor celebrity. And, of course, they will give you chapter and verse of all their previous holidays.

No matter how hard you try to avoid them, they are impossible to shake off once initial contact has been made. Just as you settle on the sun lounger to read your book, up they will pop. At dinner they start to join you without asking. And now they have asked the manager about moving rooms so you could have adjoining balconies…!

THE HARASSED FAMILY

check if their policy covers them for a trip to A&E for a minor deckchair-related injury.

You might overhear them saying things like: “We are definitely booking a resort with a kids club next year” or “I’m looking forward to going back to work for a break!”

THE COMPLAINER Nothing is ever right for the complainer.

Their room is too dark, too damp and too small. There are not enough toilets in the hotel, the other guests are too noisy and the staff are rude. The food is clearly ‘off ’ because they have been up all night with a ‘jippy tummy’. The bloody Germans keep nicking all the sun loungers, the pool is too busy, it takes too long to get served at the bar, the DJ is too cheesy, the weather is too hot, the sun is too bright… And so on.

In truth, complaining is what they love more than anything in the world. And so, spending two weeks doing nothing but being cantankerous, picking holes in everything is nothing short of sheer joy for these holidaymakers.

But, of course, they wouldn’t want to admit they were experiencing pleasure in

any way because this might jeopardise the Long Term Plan.You see, by the end of the holiday, they have picked up enough vouchers, money off credits and freebies as a result of all their complaining to have recouped the entire cost of the holiday.

Now, you can’t complain about that… Can you?

THE ADVENTURERS This is the type of traveller we all want to be, but once we arrive and get stuck into our book, we usually can’t be arsed. Being The Adventurer, you see, takes hard work, dedication and bundles of energy. They make the most of every single second of their vacation, immerse themselves in the local culture and throw themselves into every activity on offer.

Let’s face it, for anyone who has kids there is no such thing as a ‘holiday’. Instead, parents do something called ‘Going to a Different Location and Doing the Same S***’ for a week.

As such this type of holidaymaker is instantly distinguishable by the expression on their faces – they are broken. And who wouldn’t be after enduring the Perilous Mission that is Taking Children on Aeroplanes.

Yep, that last deployment on hostile Baltic territory felt like a walk in the park compared to the hell of airport security, budget airline check-in procedures, the disgust of fellow-flyers towards children on flights, the chaos of the luggage carousel… and so on.

You will never, repeat never, see the harassed parent lying on a sun lounger, relaxing over dinner or reading a book.

Instead they will spend their break constantly applying sun block to wriggling, uncooperative kids, crawling around under restaurant tables clearing up spillages and searching for lost bits of rice cake or reading through the holiday insurance forms to

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They have planned their holiday with precision, learned the language of the country in question and spent most of the outbound journey reading their guidebooks.

As soon as they arrive they are straight off to hire equipment – wetsuit, surfboard, bicycle, snorkel set, tennis rackets… jet ski… The list is overwhelming. While everyone else is rummaging in their suitcase for the Yorkshire teabags, the adventurer has already completed 18 laps of the swimming pool, booked a Hot Air Balloon Experience for dawn the next day and volunteered for a project to rehome stray cats.

They talk fervently about all the amazing sights they have seen, no day is complete without learning a new skill – anything from kite surfing or lace weaving - and they are forever dashing off for a boat trip to a far-off island or a tour of an ancient monument.

Their holiday is utterly exhausting but since they are too busy to get harassed by the Chatty Guest, their week is probably a lot less stressful than yours.

THE BRONZED GODDESS Just when you thought you had done enough prep, dieting, beauty treatments and hair masks to get you swimsuit-ready along comes the Insta-perfect Beach Beauty to put you to shame.You know the type - the gorgeous, toned holidaymaker who looks incredible in a bikini, and boy do they know it. They have spent a fortune on gym membership and personal trainer fees to get this fit so they want to get their money’s worth by letting the world – well, Rhyl – see the results.

They have carefully planned their wardrobe choices to accentuate their curves, ripples and muscle tone and they spend hours each morning perfecting their beach chic look.

When they arrive on the beach, they don’t scurry across the sand under a giant towel when no one’s looking, like the rest of us.

No, they hold their head up high and strut slowly and proudly ensuring they catch the eye of every, single holidaymaker there. And then they take a selfie to post on Instagram.

They are, of course, excellent at all beach sports and spend lots of time frolicking in the waves - body boarding, playing volleyball and swimming like a pro. They do a lot of this, whilst also getting their partner to get lots of pictures to post on Instagram.

And, of course, they still find time to help their children build the #MostPerfectSandcastle.You are tempted to go and stamp on it… but then you notice they are only eating rocket and a handful of chia seeds for lunch.You realise that it’s probably very hard work being so perfect.

So, instead, you tuck into an ice cream and plan what feast you will eat for your dinner.

Happy holidays!

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Just for Her and Just for Families are looking for interesting and relevant articles about the Service community‌ If you have something you have written, ideally with pictures too, then please send your articles in to justforher@forcespublishing.co.uk or jff@forcespublishing.co.uk www.facebook.com/justforhermagazine www.facebook.com/JustForFamiliesMilitaryMag/ 81

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CITIES A TO Z

Oslo

Oslo, Norway’s 1000 year old capital, sits on the country’s Southern coast at the head of the Oslofjord. It’s best known for its lush green spaces, glittering lakes and world-class museums.

P

urchasing an Oslo Pass for the duration of your stay is a must, and will grant you unlimited access to public transport so you are free to explore for 24, 48 or 72 hours depending on what you choose. An Oslo Pass will also grant you free access to certain museums so is well worth shelling out for if you are planning to visit some, be sure to check the app to see what’s on offer at the time of booking. Oslo offers accommodation to suit every budget, whether you’re backpacking it and need a hostel, want some quiet time in a snowy log cabin or a touch of luxury at a high end hotel, there is something for everyone.

In between visiting picturesque parks and the variety of museums, be sure not to miss out on all of the delicious food Oslo has to offer. With it’s thriving café culture and hip nightlife scene you can start your day with a hearty breakfast and end it with excellent cocktails.

The best time to visit Oslo is between March and October, when the temperature rises and the prices go down. The weather can be unpredictable though, so pack wisely and bring warm clothes even in summer.

For history buffs a visit to Akershus Castle and Fortress should definitely be on the cards. Situated in the city centre against the dramatic backdrop of the Oslofjord, Akershus is a national symbol of Norway. Take some time to wander around the beautiful grounds and explore the elegant halls of the palace. It’s free to wander the grounds but there is a fee to enter the castle itself.

To soak in some fantastic architecture and enjoy the sea views take a walk along Brygge. There are plenty of quaint shops to browse and buy gifts in, and if you have a sweet tooth or fancy a drink there are plenty of spots to stop for ice cream, cake and cocktails too.

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On your visit to Oslo, make sure you take the time to explore the many museums and really get to know the city by learning about its roots, folklore and the many changes that have moulded it into the place it is today. For history fanatics, Fram Polar Ship Museum is not to be missed. Discover the dangers the crew faced when traveling to the depths of Arctic and Antartic by experiencing the simulator, or if you’re not feeling quite that adventurous step into the ship itself to learn how the crew managed to survive on their travels, and all about the men that made all those journeys possible.

Food lovers won’t be disappointed with what’s on offer to eat in Oslo.You’ll be able to find many dishes from all different cultures throughout the city. One of the top rated restaurants is the Fjord Restaurant, popular with both locals and tourists for its daily changing menu of traditional Norwegian cuisine. Choose between 3 and 6 courses, with the option of a wine paired with each. If you’re looking for a home-away-from-home head to Pastel de Nata, a cosy café renowned for its great cakes, great coffee and great people. It’s the perfect spot to hang out with friends or sit with a good book for a few hours. For somewhere quiet and away from the hustle and bustle of the more touristy parts of the city, Lille Spiseri is where you should go.

Locals herald this as the best place to enjoy a cooked breakfast, so get there early and tuck in!

The Norwegian Museum of Cultural History is another must-see. One of the world’s largest open air museum, it showcases over 150 traditional houses from all over Norway and a stave church from the year 1200. Explore the houses and the extensive collection of artefacts from all regions and social groups of the country throughout the years.

For families, The Natural History Museum is easily a place you could spend a whole day in, and if you have an Oslo Pass then entry is free! Discover an incredible array of collections and explore the Botanical Gardens and greenhouses at your leisure. If you are passionate about art then the National Gallery should be on the cards, with its vast collections of paintings and sculptures.You can even channel your own inner artist by paying a visit to the Drawing Room!

Whilst Oslo is great for solo travellers and couples, it’s also a gem for families. Oslo’s many cultural, historical and scientific museums are geared towards interactive experiences, whilst the city’s many green spaces are perfect for a day of playing in the fresh air. Whether your family are happy taking on a snowy mountain, want to explore sandy shores, watch a film, or just enjoy each other’s company over a nice meal then Oslo can cater for all. The Bygdoy Peninsula offers a wealth of outdoor amusements for families. It’s sandy beaches are the perfect spot for a picnic near the water, and it’s walking, hiking and biking trails loop around the beautiful harbour and through lush forest. Right in the city centre is Soerenga Public Pool, which opened in 2015. With wide swathes of boardwalk offering open water swimming and outdoor sea pools designed for everyone from children to advanced swimmers, this free beach is modern, relaxing and great fun for families. It also has sea basins designed with disabled access in mind. It’s advisable to bring food with you as there is a lack of cafes close by, although there is a supermarket where you can grab your picnic food if need be.

Oslo Reptile Park is another must for little ones, here they can see and learn all about snakes, frogs, lizards, turtles, spiders and other bugs. There are even some 83

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mammalian monkeys which are especially fun to watch during feeding time. If you need a break from sightseeing try the neonlit Oslo Bowling Alley. Bright lanes and upbeat music make the game fun for all, while billiards tables and a great pizza café mean it’s easy to make a whole afternoon of it here.You might want to visit before dinner time though, as it transforms from family-friendly fun by day to a happening bar by night, especially on weekends.

Speaking of which, if it’s nightlife you’re after, Oslo delivers on this once again!

It’s important to remember that Norway has a relatively strict alcohol policy and regulations; hence the price-level of alcoholic beverages is high. As a result, the Norwegians tend to have a few (or a lot!) of drinks at home before they go out. Norwegians arrange infamous “vorspiel” (pre-parties) with friends before they go out. This results in clubs and bars generally being deserted until around midnight.

Oslo may be a small capital, but its nightlife still has something for everyone whether you fancy a delicious cocktail, a chill-out lounge or dancing on the tables. The city is divided into different neighbourhoods and areas and the atmosphere, guests and prices vary accordingly. The most tourist area of Oslo is the core of the city, with the main street Karl Johan in the middle. This has a wide variety of different pubs, bars and nightclubs that attract all kinds

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of people. The west-side of the city centre, Majorstuen,Vika and Frogner, is characterized by its fashionable, flashy and beautiful guests that want to see and be seen. In the Grünerlokka district the atmosphere is more relaxed and low-maintained; the guests are still trendy, but more laid-back and carefree. The bars, cafes and pubs in the Grünerlokka and Grönland district are smaller and more intimate, and have a homier feel.

All in all, Oslo offers plenty of food for thought and is an all-round winner as a city break destination.

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Supporting the Unsung Hero’ business boom The University of Wolverhampton’s businessstart up programme, ‘Supporting the Unsung Hero’, is helping spouses and dependants’ of serving Armed Forces personnel, Veterans and Reservists realise their ambition to start-up and grow a successful business.

‘Supporting the Unsung Hero’ is a tailored business programme designed to meet the needs of Armed Forces families, and was one of the original bids to the £35 million LIBOR fund.

Since then, the course and mentoring programme has been in high demand having already been attended by 520 delegates with 740 expected to complete the programme by 2021. HSBC bank recently announced it will continue to sponsor the programme enabling the delivery team at the University of Wolverhampton and Black Country Chamber of Commerce to further expand on the already award winning programme.

work together and share their skills to develop new products and services.

Sarah Walker, ‘Supporting the Unsung Hero’ Project Manager and Lead Trainer, says: “We are proud to be leading this programme and are very grateful to HSBC for continuing to fund the venture which forms an integral part of our range of opportunities for those who are currently serving in the Armed Forces their families and Veterans. This programme has the potential to create in excess of 700 new business start-ups by the end of 2021, significantly boosting our economy on a local and national scale.”

Once enrolled on the course participants also benefit from a closed online forum to encourage peer support and interaction with other delegates.

Some members have started local business networking groups and have formed alliances to

Who can apply for the programme?

The programme is open to a spouse or dependant (over the age of 16) of a Service person, Veteran or Reservist.

We are also pleased to announce that we now accept applications from Armed Forces Veterans.

How long does the programme last?

Each Cohort will run for 10 months including 4 days of class based training with an experienced team of business advisers and dedicated one to one mentoring delivered either in person or virtually.

When does the programme start?

There are a range of start dates for each cohort to fit your requirements, contact the SUH team to find out the best course date and location to suit the individual.

Is there a fee to attend the programme?

There is no cost to participate in the programme as funding has been provided by the Armed Forces Covenant (LIBOR) Fund and the HSBC Bank (travel, accommodation and expenses incurred are not included).

What type of business can delegates set up?

The type of business set up is entirely up to the individual and could range from professional business consultancy, crafts and handmade gifts, bespoke art, catering services or personal fitness instructors. Participants may have a couple of business ideas and wish to use the course to explore each option or may not have a specific business in mind but wish to understand the basic principles of business start-up and gain inspiration from others.

Can delegates set up a joint business with a family member or friend?

Yes, delegates can set up a joint business with a family member or friend/s although only the eligible Spouse, Dependant or Veteran can attend the training course.

Can those already running a business apply?

Yes, delegates may still participate in the programme if already running a business in its infancy or need to develop their understanding of basic business management.

Courses are run throughout the UK at MOD bases from Scotland to Portsmouth and overseas in Cyprus, Belgium, Germany and Gibraltar.

Mentoring and seminars are also delivered on-line via Skype or Facebook to make the course as accessible as possible and to allow for service mobility and family commitments.

Delegates are offered a dedicated four-day business start-up training course, where they will learn and develop the skills required to run a business and understand their legal, financial and tax obligations, basic record keeping, marketing and how to write that all important business plan.

‘Supporting the Unsung Hero’ FAQ’s

Sally Wagstaff, a former Nurse in the Royal Navy and military spouse, enrolled on the first programme in October 2013. Since completing the course she has opened a state-of-the-art laser hair removal clinic in Lichfield and has since built on her success, opening a further salon at Aston Wood Golf and Country Club.

She says: “I simply wouldn’t have started my business without the Supporting the Unsung Hero Business programme. The course has been so important, from giving me the confidence to launch to teaching me the skills to run and importantly grow my business. I recommend the programme highly.”

Sarah Walker, Project Manager, said, “There is no end to the talent and resources within the Armed Forces community. As we enter the fourth year of the programme we hope to deliver in new locations such as Gibraltar to enable as many service spouses to access the course as possible, especially those who are in remote locations or overseas. ”

Who will be mentoring programme delegates?

We are a team of friendly business experts from the University of Wolverhampton’s Business Solutions Centre.

Participants are assigned an individual mentor for the duration of the programme. Once enrolled delegates will also be able to access a closed Facebook page which has proven to be a great source of peer-to-peer support.

Are the training and mentoring sessions flexible?

The dates of the four-day courses and group mentoring sessions are fixed. Individual mentoring sessions are flexible and can be delivered via Skype, phone or face to face.

Are delegates obliged to set up a business by the end of the programme?

There is no obligation to set up a business by the end of the programme, but ideally those who have completed the course will have a business up and running, as this is the aim of the programme.

What will delegates achieve at the end of the programme?

Participants will have all the tools and information required to kick-start their business. A certificate will also be awarded to demonstrate successful completion of the course and will become members of a unique group of like-minded people from the military community.

If you have a business idea and need the skills and support to launch or you want to find out if running a business could be an opportunity for you contact the ‘Supporting the Unsung Hero’ team: Telephone: 01902 321 272 Email: suh@wlv.ac.uk Website: wlv.ac.uk/supportingtheunsunghero

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