Just for Her Issue 17

ISSUE 17

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LIFEWORKS:

www.justforhermilitarymag.co.uk

Wive s’ Ex pedit ion to Evere st Ba se Ca m p

With Families In Mind

CHILDFREE

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ust Her J for

Directory for the Wives, Girlfriends and Families of Military Personnel

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With over ten years experience; her genuine and down-to-earth approach has earned Julie a vast loyal following from around the world. Her refreshing and honest approach has helped to bring comfort and sa sfac on to thousands of people around the world.

Julie’s areas of exper se include: Psychic Mediumship, Past Life Sessions, Energy Clearing, Rela onship Guidance, Healing Session, Spiritual Counselling, Life Coaching. Please contact Julie Smyth using the channels below to book your free consulta on or session. If you need any help please don’t hesitate in contac ng Julie with any ques ons.

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Susan Lawrence

Alternative Therapist • Pregnancy Wellbeing Specialist • Author

Soul Coaching & Intuitive Readings, Angel Cards, Coaching, Mentoring

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Become the Change you desire to BE. Developing your souls truth Susan Lawrence Soul Coaching | 07925 954107 susanlawrencesoulcoaching@gmail.com | https://susanlawrencesoulcoaching.com

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JustHer for

Welcome to issue 17 of Just for Her… Now that the Beast from the East seems like a distant memory and Spring is finally here, it’s time to start making plans and venturing out to enjoy the warmer weather. We have some great competitions in this issue including the chance to win a weekend away at the beautiful Sudbury House Hotel or a family ticket to the East Anglian Game & Country Fair. If it’s a trip to the seaside that you’re hankering after, then make sure you check out our guide to Britain’s Best Beaches and if you’re planning to travel alone, consider Katie V’s thoughts on flying solo. If, by the time you get home, you’re too tired to cook but trying to eat healthily, you can make the best choice possible by reading our article on Takeaways – The Best and Worst!

As I am sure you all know, relationships can be tough, especially when you are forced to endure prolonged separation periods. We look at whether it is possible to come Back from the Brink and save a troubled relationship as well as offering tips on coping with being apart in our A to Z of Deployment Survival. With more and more couples deciding not to have children, Kate Saines looks at the issues faced by those who are Childfree By Choice and for a bit of light hearted relief, see how many of your colleagues you can spot in our Workers Who’s Who! You didn’t disappoint with your contributions this issue and we were thrilled to find out about the fantastic Lifeworks Families programme from the Royal British Legion. We hope you enjoy reading about the fascinating work of Medical Detection Dogs and getting to know one of our lovely readers in Military & Me. For anyone that would like to contribute to the next issue the closing date for contributions is 16th May.

Workers Who’s Who

4

LifeWorks

8

WIN! Grand Designs Live London

12

Shop The Highstreet

14

Military & Me

22

WIN! East Anglian Game & Country Fair

24

Wives’ Expedition - EBC 17

26

Back From The Brink

32

WIN! Sudbury House Hotel

34

Needle Felting

36

A to Z of Deployment Survival

40

Welcoming Him Home

44

Father’s Day Gift Guide

46

WIN! iFLY Indoor Skydiving

49

Takeaways - The Best & Worst

52

Slow Cooker Summer

54

7 Superfoods of 2018

58

Fashion Lookbook

62

Medical Detection Dogs

70

SFA & Pets

72

Childfree By Choice

76

Just a Thought By Katie V

78

Britain’s Best Beaches

80

Cities A to Z - Naples

86

Many thanks to Kate Saines and Rebecca Smith for their editorial contribution

Until next time…

Enjoy!

Articles and photographs reproduced by kind permission of the contributors © No responsibility for the quality of goods or services advertised in this magazine can be accepted by the publishers or printers. Advertisements are included in good faith. The MOD or any Service Establishment is not responsible for the advertiser or its advertised product or service.

Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU. Tel: 01933 419994 www.forcespublishing.co.uk justforher@forcespublishing.co.uk @justforhermag Editorial: Joanna Barnes Design: Amy Leverton

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Workers

‘Who’s Who’ Which one are you…?

Whether you work in the offices of a giant corporation or behind the bar of a small pub it’s likely you will be spending your day with very similar types of colleague. We have rounded up some of the most common characters likely to pop up in your workplace. See if you recognise any…

Teacher’s Pet At school this colleague was the Teacher’s Pet, and not much has changed since their school days. Except, instead of finishing and handing in their homework early, offering to stay in at break to tidy the library and putting their hand up to answer every question they have adapted their puppy dog-style enthusiasm to office life. They are the first to put their name in the ring for any task – no matter how awful.Yes, they are the ones who do the work station assessments.

Teacher’s Pet always meets their deadlines – in fact, they hand projects and work in at least three weeks early. And they never, ever have a lunch break. Instead, they do extra work or brush up on the latest industry developments.

When their boss is harassed they are the first to notice and offer a helping hand.

They bring in biscuits and make tea for their manager and their manager’s manager. And they always arrive at least half an hour early and leave when everyone else has gone.

As for annual leave – they have over five months’ worth of unused holiday. After all, who has time for a break when there are members of senior management to impress?

Oh, and they work weekends. Unpaid.

Their screensaver says: “Lunch is for wimps”

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The Feeder This particular colleague is as much a blessing as they are a curse.

For while everyone loves the person who bakes cakes, shares biscuits and makes endless tea rounds, it’s not always great for the waistline.

In fact, the longer you get to know The Feeder, the more you try to avoid them. For you know you cannot resist the lure of their tantalisingly light yet fulfilling Victoria Sponge Sandwich, but you are starting to struggle to fit into your skinny jeans. And why do they always have to leave their sugary treats right next to your desk?

Everyone wonders where The Feeder - who usually also has two

The Social Butterfly Workplace life wouldn’t function without The Organiser. She or he is the member of staff who gets everyone out for group lunches, plans afterwork drinks, arranges Bring Your Kids to Work Day, the Summer Party, the Darts Tournament, Quiz Night….

Their bid to bond the staff knows no bounds and they will often sacrifice their chances of promotion or a pay rise because they are far too busy in their self-titled role of Social Committee President.

jobs, seven children, owns a business and has elderly parents to care for as well as doing endless work for charity - finds the time to bake all these wonderful treats. But, apparently, she is applying for the Great British Bake Off, so she needs the practice.You are actually doing her a massive favour by eating her food.

Their screensaver says: “Stressed is desserts spelled backwards!”

They even arrange, at weekends, to go out with work colleagues and can be seen on a Friday rounding up people for a cinema trip or bowling game on Saturday night.

In fact, they spend so much time organising events and socialising with colleagues, that everyone wonders if they actually have a life outside work… In fact, do they even have any friends IRL? Their screensaver says: “Anyone fancy a drink? Just the one…”

The Gossip Another colleague here who is a double edged sword.

On the one hand, without their razor-sharp insight into the goings-on of the workplace and all its employees, you may as well be living on another planet. For often, the best and most important news comes from the mouth of The Gossip. On the other hand, if you are embroiled in any shenanigans or misdemeanours yourself, they will not stay private for long with them around.

Their favourite place to hang out is by the kettle or in the lift, where they are sure to hear the juiciest of news. They have also been known to hide for long periods in toilet cubicles. They are strategic about who they befriend and with whom they go to lunch. They usually have a BWF (Best Work Friend) in a senior position – MD’s PA, for example. They might also have a good contact with someone in the reception area, on security and, of course, in IT. They don’t smoke, but they join the smokers for a fag break because the shivering huddle under the fire escape is where all the tastiest morsels of scandal are dissected and The Gossip never misses an opportunity to partake.

Their screensaver says: “Believe everything you hear…”

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The Moaner This colleague is the absolute opposite of The Teacher’s Pet. They are unenthusiastic, lacklustre and despondent. They drag themselves around the workplace, shoulders slumped, head down, as if they

are confined to a Victorian workhouse. Which, to be fair, is exactly what work feels like for them.

You dread ever having to speak to them as they can be unapproachable and intimidating. If you ask merely to borrow a paperclip, they will throw you a withering stare that says ‘get out of my personal space, underling’ before replying: “why don’t you just take my entire job while you are at it!”

At the pub they moan and groan about how much they detest their boss/job/colleagues/tea-making-facilities and so on.

They grind everyone down with their constant negativity and groaning and if you spend too long with them, you almost feel brainwashed into hating work too.

Everyone wonders why, after 25 years, they still work there. Surely they would have left ages ago? But, then, they would have nothing to moan about if they had a job they enjoyed… and that would never do.

Their screensaver says: “GO AWAY!... I wish I could”

The Fashionista As far as you can tell, this worker never actually does any work. He or she simply swans around the office turning heads in a collection of eye-catching, yet tasteful and on-trend ensembles.

Their hair colour changes regularly, as does the style – this is essential to stay at the cutting edge of fashion. They ooze chic and are groomed to within an inch of their lives.

They have a different outfit every day and you wonder how they can afford to spend so much on their wardrobe as they are less senior than you and you earn a pittance.

They rarely return from lunch without a shopping bag or two and take annual leave to coincide with seasonal sales.

You actually start wondering what new creation they will arrive in each day and start worrying because you are more excited to see what dress they wear to the Christmas party than you are to see how drunk The Boss gets.

Their screensaver says: Nothing, it’s the ASOS homepage.

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I am a Hypno-Analyst/Hypno-Therapist, Addiction Counsellor, Counsellor and Family Therapist based in London. I am also an EMDR Practitioner and a BWRT Practitioner. I have worked for many years with all stress related problems. I now work via Skype and Facetime, using BWRT, thus enabling me to work worldwide.

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WITH FAMILIES IN MIND:

Royal British Legion Industries’ Employment Support Programme for Military Spouses It is too often forgotten just how affected the families of serving personnel are when taking part in the rigours of military life.

Frequent relocation, a chequered job history and a feeling of isolation away from the rest of civilian society can have a significant impact on confidence and, ultimately, long-term career prospects.

National military and disability charity Royal British Legion Industries recognises that it’s vital that the families and partners of current servicemen and women receive the support they need to tackle these issues so that military spouses can find employment, regain their confidence and, once again, feel connected with their local community.

First delivered in 2013, RBLI’s LifeWorks Families programme is designed to do exactly that. The charity’s highly-skilled team of vocational assessors and trainers have developed the programme which through specific, tailored support builds

on the skills partners in the military community have already developed.

RBLI’s Head of LifeWorks Iain Downie said: “The ultimate aim is to help develop the participants’ employability factor, through teaching them modern interview techniques, job searching skills, and CV formatting methods.

“The result of the intensive two or threeday course is an ability to better connect with the job market, the development of both short and long-term goals, and to provide a set plan to help participants stay motivated in their search for employment.

All of these things result in a tremendous boost in confidence and the amazing transformation of those who attend the course never ceases to amaze me.”

Following the course, participants are also able to take advantage of the free ‘reachback’ advice programme which, for 6 months, will continue to offer guidance on any area which can aid them in securing sustained employment.

Nicola’s story Nicola Ricketts left her own beauty therapy business in Devon to move to Middlesex with her husband after becoming an Army wife. “After spending 6 months as a full-time housewife, I decided that I needed to get my independence back and get a job,” she said.

“Having been self-employed for over 4 years, I had completely forgotten how to look for a job and didn’t really know what I wanted to do. By pure chance, the LifeWorks Families course popped up on my Facebook feed and I signed up immediately. It turned out to be the best thing I could have done.”

“The LifeWorks team is very passionate and dedicated to giving military spouses the tools to find a career, not just any-oldjob. During the course we covered every aspect of finding employment and were taught how to highlight our skills and experiences to make us appealing to a potential employer. I was able to apply the skills we learned in my covering letter, CV, interview and follow up emails. I received positive feedback in all

these areas from my new employer and I’m sure that this helped me to secure the role.

“I am now a Receptionist and Personal Assistant at an innovative beauty company. This is something I have aspired to do for a long time, but never had the confidence to apply for until I attended LifeWorks. We are so lucky to have such a valuable course available to us. I would not hesitate in telling anyone to take full advantage of the opportunity to attend this course.”

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LifeWorks Families Online After recognising the need for instant, free-to-access remote support for military spouses, the LifeWorks team’s latest venture has seen the programme online and Iain said it has already seen phenomenal response following its February launch.

Iain said: “Not all of those who may benefit from the programme are able to attend the courses in person, so LifeWorks Families Online is the perfect alternative. The online resources are designed to provide all of the same support as the two or three day programme, however it is instantly accessible which we realise can be of great benefit to those who may be a little pushed for time.”

“Within just a week of the programme being up and running, we

had an overwhelming number of military spouses use the initial stage of LifeWorks Families Online to find information on how to better their employment prospects.

“So it is clear that there is an immense demand for LifeWorks Families Online and we believe that as we further develop, families of service personnel across the UK – and those based abroad – we will tackle some of the challenge they face via a straightforward online course.”

For more information about LifeWorks Families, or for any advice regarding employment if you have previously served in the Armed Forces, or if you are a spouse or partner of a serviceman or woman, contact the LifeWorks team on Freephone 0800 319 6844, email lifeworks@rbli.co.uk, or visit wearelifeworks.org.uk

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SCOTLAND MILITARY CATCHMENT

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As am Image Consultant she provides body shape and colour analysis as initial consultation before wardrobe evaluation, outfit selection and the personal shopping part of the experience - a bespoke service to ensure the client receives superb treatment to make them feel comfortable and confident. With great style awareness and excellent connections in the Scottish fashion industry, looks from ladylike classics to adventurous avant garde can be developed.

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Mixed media and Papercra workshops and supplies Within the beau ful grounds of the historic Crichton estate in Dumfries is Handmade at Helen’s … a superb haven for cra ers!

The light and spacious studio is a place to leave your troubles at the door and have some fun. Offering cra supplies, and both Mixed Media and Papercra workshops and retreats, there is something for everyone here and all abili es are welcome. In addi on to Helen teaching various cra s herself, interna onal and UK based guest ar sts are also invited to teach and inspire.

Payment plans are available for selected workshops/retreats, and there is a 10% discount on supplies purchased on the day of any workshop/retreat.

If you are looking for a weekend get-away, this is ideal. With a spa and cocktail bar on site, and discounted rates at a nearby Sco sh Country House Hotel, what more could you want?

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SCOTLAND MILITARY CATCHMENT

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Just for Her have teamed up with Grand Designs Live and have 10 pairs of tickets to give away! Here’s your chance to win a pair of tickets, worth up to £34 each, to the UK’s leading contemporary home show - Grand Designs Live at the ExCeL, proudly sponsored by Anglian Home Improvements.

WIN TICKETS TO GRAND DESIGNS LIVE!

This inspiring event, presented by design guru and TV broadcaster, Kevin McCloud, at ExCeL London from 5 - 13 May, will see an array of new exhibitors, features and stages alongside established favourites. Whether you are starting out on your first renovation, building a new home, redecorating a room, installing a new kitchen or simply looking for ideas, Grand Designs Live is the must-visit event for anyone wanting to learn about the world of interiors, design and self-build.

Covering Build, Kitchens, Bathrooms, Gardens, Interiors, plus a Technology Trail, the show will offer a great day out with hundreds of innovative ideas for the home, instructive talks and demonstrations. Get access to amazing brands launching new products, compare prices and check out homewares not yet available on the high street.

For more information visit Grand Designs Live: www.granddesignslive.com

To be in with a chance of winning these fabulous tickets send us your name and address to competitions@ forcespublishing.co.uk or Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northamptonshire NN10 0RU. Closing date: Fri 27th April

Terms and Conditions: A maximum of two free adult tickets per household can be claimed. Tickets are available for use on 8th, 9th, 10th or 11th May 2018 only. Competition closes 27/4/18. Any entry made after this date will be invalid. Tickets cannot be exchanged for cash, are not transferable and cannot be duplicated. There are 10 pairs of tickets available which will be issued on a randomly selected basis.

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NORTH MILITARY CATCHMENT

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Highstreet SHOP THE

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Pink Drinks Bucket Cooler £12

Large Scatter Cushion 55x55cm £20

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DEBENHAMS Sarah Miller Collection

Terrific Toucan Mug £12.50

Chelsea Collection Navy Mug £15

Chelsea Collection Teapot £55

Chelsea Collection Teacup & Saucer £22

Chelsea Collection Set of 4 Pastry Forks £20

Chelsea Collection Cake Slice £16

Flamingo Collection Large Handled Tray £20

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Chelsea Collection Trinket Tray £20

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Copper Finish Floating Photo Frame £14.99

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PRIMARK

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Ethan Bar Stool £165

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Rope Macrame Dreamcatcher £6 , Copper Wire Terrarium £5, Copper Ball Lights £4, Cement Metallic Votive £3.50, Concrete Lightbulb £6, Faux Plant Jars £2, Faux Fur Cushion £8, Cream Tassel Cushion £10, Botanical Print Cushion £5, Grey Velvet Cushion £5, Pink Throw £4

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Kenton Dining Chair (Set of 2) £185

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Weight Loss • Health Issues • Stress & Depression • Confidence • Relationships • Fears/Phobias • Traumas • Motivation • Exam/Driving Test • Addiction • Sleeping Difficulty • And More...

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MIDLANDS MILITARY CATCHMENT 21

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PROFILE

Military

& Me

Name - Beatrice Pattenden Age - 34 years old Current Location - North Hykeham, hubby is currently based in RAF Waddington

When and how did you meet your partner?

We met through a common friend, I used to teach for a Military College and we met on a night out. We’ve been inseparable ever since, apart from when he gets deployed of course.

Best thing about military life?

Having the chance to live and explore so many parts of the UK and meeting new people all the time.

Worst thing about military life?

Of course it has to be missing my lovely husband and worrying about him when he is away.

What’s your guilty secret when he’s away? No shaving? Cereal for dinner? Towie re-runs?!

When he’s away cooking is easier. I usually cook separate meals for my husband and I so not having to do that while he’s away is definitely a plus.

Do you do anything special when your partner returns?

I do try to make his homecoming special. Firstly, the house is very clean and for the first few days he is the centre of attention. We’ve missed him and of course, he deserves it!

Homecoming meal?

His favourite “meal” is a bacon or caramelised onion and sausage bap.

Favourite posting?

It has to be Cambridge, we absolutely loved it there. It’s a city full of culture, history and lovely food.

How do you deal with goodbyes?

Being a sensitive person, I always end up in tears and incredibly sad for the first few days.

Do you have certain coping mechanisms for dealing with the absence of your partner?

I try to keep myself busy and plan lots of activities for Sophie and I. We are hardly home, we are always out and about visiting family and friends.

Homecoming outfit?

My usual gym outfit!

What’s your top tip for new military partners?

My top tip would be to go out and meet new people. Planning some social events or activities that you can do with other military ladies helps you to stay positive and in good spirits. Or find something you enjoy doing, which for me is exercising!

What three words would you use to describe military partners?

Strong, independent and reliable.

Would you like to feature in the next issue?

Email us at justforher@forcespublishing.co.uk 22

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MIDLANDS MILITARY CATCHMENT

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The East Anglian Game & Country Fair will take place on Saturday 28th & Sunday 29th April, at the Euston Estate, Just off the A11 at Thetford, by kind permission of The Duke and Duchess of Grafton…

“My family and I are delighted that Euston Estate is once again hosting the East Anglian Game and Country Fair. It was an unqualified success in 2017 and proved a popular day out for the whole family.

As the Fair returns for its second year at Euston in 2018, I would like to extend a warm welcome to everyone involved in creating this exciting event and of course, to all the members of the public who will be attending.

The park and grounds offer a particularly attractive setting for events of this kind and all the diverse activities on offer from clay shooting to dog shows, and archery to forestry displays, make it a calendarworthy event. The East Anglian Game and County Fair showcases the best in country pursuits in the region and we hope that it will continue to go from strength to strength."

Henry Fitzroy, 12th Duke of Grafton

Some of the attractions this year: JCB Dancing Diggers They have been described as a down to earth version of the Red Arrows; they have curtsied for the Queen; pirouetted for TV and thrilled thousands all over the world.

They are the world famous JCB Dancing Diggers. Although in great demand, the Diggers limit their appearances to three to four shows per year and have appeared on TV all over the world.

Equestrian events Returning by popular demand, The Mounted Games Association of Great Britain will be holding the most exciting and exhilarating display competitions in the Main Arena. Riders in teams, complete short relay style races against each other demonstrating speed, accuracy and horsemanship See the exciting, fast and skillful British Scurry & Trials Driving Championships in the Main Arena - watch ponies of all shapes and sizes take on a timed obstacle course made from cones, temporary barriers, flags arches and ramps all against the clock.

Speed, agility and bravery are all required!

Audience participation is encouraged to spur on the competitors and provides great entertainment for all the family.

Harvey’s Shires are also featuring at the fair.

Step back to a time when horse power was relied upon for food and transport. Harvey’s Shires will show you just how these

powerful and majestic animals performed in years gone by; see their extensive collection of vehicles and implements used in all areas of work and pleasure.

The Sheep Show Norfolk based New Zealander Richard Savory's first mobile sheep show was at Hyde Park in 1992 in front of an estimated 75,000 people. An entertainment agent also saw the show and from then on the business grew. If you haven’t seen the show yet it is both entertaining and educational looking at sheep breeds and shearing. The sheep are the stars and its finale are the dancing sheep.

Dog & Duck show Stuart Barnes, also living in Norfolk, has travelled to over 100 countries working with wildlife, and his passion for the canine species has enabled him to gain an incredible understanding of everything about dogs. In his Main Arena show, Stuart and his team use trained and untrained sheep dogs to herd ducks, amusing and educating the audience about common dog behaviour issues and about how these can be resolved.

Dogs The Mid-Norfolk Gundog Club has been providing its members with training and competitions for 30 years. The demonstrations illustrate the stages of training for Spaniels and Retrievers as they are prepared to become working gundogs.

Enter your dog into the Dog Agility and Jumping competitions and ‘have a go’

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arenas or in The Pet Dog Show (1pm Sat & Sun) or even the popular Terrier & Lurcher Show which takes place on Sunday at 11am. This will be a qualifier for all major championships as well as the East Anglian Championship. A best turned out dog & owner competition will take place during the first terrier and lurcher class on the Sunday of the show.

Falconry Village There will be mini events going on all day in the arena, lure swinging competitions and talks on hunting plus several stands to browse along with expert advice from falconers.

Fens Falconry will also be performing a Main Arena display with a comprehensive and thrilling display including Falcons, Kestrels, Buzzards, Eagles, Owls and even Vultures. The display is guaranteed to thrill audiences of all ages. Watch it, be amazed, and join in.

you will find a wide variety of exhibitors from Norfolk and across the UK bringing unusual and mouth watering food and drink to the show for our visitors to sample, enjoy and purchase.

There are over 350 shopping stands with a wide variety of products from fashion and footwear to gun makers, eco products, fishing tackle and home designer wares. Plus, craft halls and gift marquees. The Dog & Duck onsite pub will be serving a great selection of local beers and drinks throughout the weekend, and will be hosting live music both during the day and on the Saturday evening.

Forestry Village The Forestry Village hosts ‘The East of England Cutters & Climbers Competition’ and Pole Climbing Competitions. The forestry arena will be a buzz of activity with chainsaw carvings, felling demonstrations, tree climbing and pole climbing competitions.

Children of all ages will be able to take part in countryside activities and meet several animals, including alpacas and enjoy donkey rides. This year we are pleased to welcome back ‘Little Rovers’. Under supervision, adventurous youngsters can drive scaled Land Rovers around a mini ‘off-road’ course. Also for little ones is the Exotic Animal Encounter from Meerkats to skunks from snakes to prairie dogs (even a talking raven) the animals are so friendly and impeccably trained and can make the hardest hearts melt. There will also be a number of traditional craft demonstrations and activities taking place across the weekend to entertain all ages.

Food and shopping Our Game Fair Country Kitchen has a great line up with a variety of cookery workshops and demonstrations taking place over the weekend. The Game Fair Kitchen is housed in the centre of the busy Food Hall where

Ticket Information: Purchase tickets online at www.ukgamefair. co.uk or by calling the ticket hotline number 01263 735 828. Save up to 25% when booking in advance and weekend camping tickets are also available.

WIN! Just for Her have teamed up with The East Anglian Game & Country Fair to offer readers the chance to win one of

10 family tickets!

To be in with a chance of winning send us your name and address to competitions@ forcespublishing. co.uk Closing date: 18th April

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CONTRIBUTION

‘

In Oct 2015, shortly after the earthquake disaster, WO2 Paul Vicary (RIFLES) had a ‘lightbulb’ moment whilst walking down from Everest Base Camp (EBC). He felt compelled to help the Nepalese people affected by the terrible situation they were in and one of the local guides told him that the only way to help those people affected was through tourism; walking to EBC… Time went by, unfortunately some of the ladies had to pull out due After thinking about this, he thought why not try and take some of the ladies from work? They are often the ones left behind, looking after the home, children and supporting their partners. This could be a trip of a lifetime!

On return, Paul put some plans into action. He conducted a presentation about the planned expedition to get to EBC. Not expecting much interest, he had a huge turnout of 82 wives from across the Garrison! The ladies, feeling empowered, soon got to work setting up committees, fundraising and progressive training.

to a variety of different reasons, this left 30 committed ladies. Two charities were voted in to support they were Community Action Nepal (CAN), who support the Nepalese population and Family Activity Breaks (FAB) who support bereaved military families with activity breaks away. A target amount of £120,000 was set.

With approximately 18 months to achieve the fundraising target the ladies set to work planning events to raise the cash. Their first event was at a local fete where they organised a Tombola and raised just over £150. They then rolled through event after event from Families days, raffles, cake and coffee stalls, quiz nights, wine tasting evenings, and the biggest single fundraiser, a charity boxing event which netted us an amazing £36,000!! The final fundraiser was a Nepalese afternoon. It celebrated the Nepalese culture with Nepalese dancers, food, traditional decorations and customs raising over £1000 just 2 weeks before they were due to depart to Nepal.

It was probably the hardest thing many of them had ever done and involved a great deal of planning and commitment, selling tickets, cake baking and thinking of new ways to raise even more money.

This was before they had even set foot in Nepal. Their husbands were amazed at their hard work and commitment and one of them said, ‘I can’t believe you have raised £120,000 selling cake and coffee!’

After two days acclimatisation in Kathmandu the trek itself started off with the exciting/nerve - wracking hour flight to Lukla. It’s known to be the most dangerous airport in the world!! However all survived and everyone at that point was buzzing with the excitement of what lay ahead. As soon as we set foot off the plane the trek began. We would spend the next two days trekking, facing extremely high wobbly rope bridges and stopping off at tea houses for a wide choice of local teas, before having a rest day

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to acclimatise at a place called Namche Bazaar. Namche is an absolutely amazing place, a huge town in the mountains, where you can buy the best coffee and cake (I opted for a chocolate brownie) believe it or not. We spent a rest day there, walking around, sightseeing, souvenir shopping and even being blessed for the journey ahead by a monk in the local monastery. Namche sits at 3440 metres above sea level, so some of the ladies were feeling the altitude kicking in.

On leaving Namche we made our way to the next stop off at Tengboche (3867m) where the pace had slowed a little and the snow capped mountains were becoming ever more closer. The air had become colder and the welcoming hot chocolate on arriving at the destination was a God send after a hard steep walk. The tea house we were staying in was very basic and next to another monastery, one in which we had another blessing the following morning before setting off.

The road to Pheriche (4210m) was a long one. The scenery was becoming a little more baron as the altitude was ever increasing.

Some of the ladies were now suffering with D and V and the tiredness was kicking in. A welcome rest day in Pheriche was needed to once again help with the acclimatisation process. Here we had a practice run of assembling the poppy we were to lay at Base Camp. It’s surprising how much longer it takes to do this when at altitude, just walking a few metres feels like you have run a marathon.You can hear your heart pumping constantly in your ears.

The area has a voluntary health centre where we all attended a very interesting and important brief on altitude sickness. It also has a poignant memorial to all those that have lost their lives on Everest.

The next day would take the group to a place called Lebouche (4930m). The valley had really started to open up, with very steep inclines and not much around. The air was thin, the pace had slowed and many of the ladies started to suffer with sickness. I suffered the most excruciating headache, nausea and complete lack of appetite. The basic amenities at our next tea house made it all the more worse and the “night toilet” was something to be desired! This doesn’t help when you are weeing like a race horse all night due to the altitude! The thought of finally arriving at Base Camp the next day spurred us all on. After two years of planning we were almost there.

A very early start the next day and a hard steep four hour walk to Gorakshep (5180m) begun. This was the most horrendous part

of the trip so far according to some, including me. Seven days of hard trekking was nearly over, we were all tired, moaning about being unclean, hungry and starting to miss home. However we all dug deep and another four hours of slow trekking saw us finally reach Everest Base Camp.

The emotion was high, the poppy was laid and many photographs were taken. I was so overwhelmed on arriving at Base Camp that I just burst into tears. This was the largest group of ladies to ever reach Base Camp and the euphoria of finally doing it was apparent. Although some of us were a little apprehensive as the four hour walk back to Gorak Shep in the dark was not a welcome thought!

We managed to pull the expedition off with great success! All 30 ladies made it to EBC and returned safely. We also conducted an extraordinary act of Remembrance at EBC by assembling the giant poppy to mark the Passhendaele centenary! The expedition took just over 10 days trekking.

Since returning, we have raised our target of £120,000, which will be divided between CAN and FAB. CAN are set to build an earthquake proof building for the locals in the Langtang Region of Nepal, which was severely affected by the earthquake.

All of us found it a huge challenge. We had an amazing experience trekking to EBC, following the historic and spiritual route to the foot of Mount Everest, witnessing the stoic Nepalese population, the local culture and panoramic scenery. The Event organiser WO2 Paul Vicary said that all those taking part had, “shown great grit and determination” and the ladies should be duly proud of what they have achieved.

Marianne said, “It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, but what an amazing experience! After being married to the army for 23 years it was nice to have some ‘me time’. It was the first time I had ever been away from my family for that length of time and gave my husband a very small insight into what it’s like to be at home managing the family.” continues over page >>

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It was a privilege to be part of a team. I would like to thank each Ailsa said, “I have been an army wife for nearly 27 years and have and every team member for their dedication over the past two supported my husband on numerous tours, trips and postings. years; for what they have given to the community and what will Until I went on my trek to EBC I don’t think I really appreciated make a difference. Besides this, we were the largest female group just how much having a loving family at home could make. Every to stand at Everest Base Camp and to place the largest Poppy of text, voicemail, FaceTime call, Facebook posting, email or message Remembrance representing the 100years of the Passchendaele, in motivated me to continue to put one foot in front of the other, which members from Nepal fought with the British Army; this especially when I was having a bad day, feeling unwell, exhausted, tired, cold and fed up. They never doubted my ability to make it and was incredible! I enjoyed each and every footstep from visiting the monasteries, museums along the way, passing colourful prayer told me so frequently. They knew how daunting this trip was for wheels and crossing swing bridges straight out of an Indiana Jones me and they believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. Every movie! Whilst evenings were rewarded with hot step I took I knew my family was with me food and conversation with like-minded people encouraging me to keep going. It’s amazing around the dining area. This makes the Everest what you can achieve when you have the love “It’s amazing what Base Camp trek one of my most unforgettable and support of those back home.” you can achieve moments which I will treasure in my heart

forever.

Rose, the training lead said, “Not all girls are when you have the made of sugar and spice and everything nice. love and support of The praise has to go to the Sherpas who followed EBC 17 girls are made of adventure, fine wine, those back home.” us almost invisibly, assisting with carrying our brains and no fear. They trained during the bleak backpacks if we were feeling the altitude or midwinter, no Welsh Mountain too high, no serving our meals each day, always with a smile trouble too difficult to overcome. Our trails were on their faces which raised our spirits when crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous and lead to the most amazing views. The mountains knew the secrets that we morale was down. My thanks has to be to the Sherpa who picked me up quite literally to avoid a boulder which was hurtling down needed to learn, we took our time, it was hard but we held on and the mountainside; the fact that there was a sheer drop the other side trained long enough to find the strength to rise up and conquer of the path down to the river made me all the more grateful!”

Everest Base Camp.

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BACK

FROM THE

BRINK

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Or does the distance of deployment (not to mention other armed forces commitments) drive a deeper wedge into troubled relationships?

With the help of a relationship expert we take a look at whether it’s harder to come back from the brink in a military marriage…

N

ever go to bed on an argument. Isn’t that the advice every newlywed receives on their wedding day? As trite as it has become, the fathers-of-the-groom and drunk uncles - who are generally the bearers of this piece of wise counsel - do have a point. A row makes for a bad night’s sleep. But what is even worse than a late night barney between a married couple, is an unresolved dispute before a deployment or another long period of armed forcesinduced absence. It’s normal for couples to fall out, disagree and argue but what happens when there’s no opportunity to kiss and make up because one member of the couple is being posted? And what if the marriage is suffering with more serious difficulties, and there’s a six-month absence to endure before any kind of rekindling can be started?

Relationship specialist, Wendy Capewell, said separation can amplify marital

disharmony because it is so much harder to resolve issues when there are already problems: “Resentment can build up because the one at home feels isolated and left to keep the home going when they may perceive their partner is ‘enjoying themselves’,” she said.

“Emails, texts and even phone calls can be misconstrued, as when we are feeling insecure in a relationship we are likely to pick up on the negatives. Written words can sometimes be taken in a way that was perhaps not intended. Phone calls can be fraught.” Wendy said, in her experience, when one member of a partnership is in the military, it can create extra pressures and challenges to the relationship. Indeed, she has heard people complaining because their serving partner put their job and the military first.

Wendy has observed that the extra pressures of being alone when there are relationship difficulties can also create additional

problems. When the partner at home is left to deal with day-to-day problems but also the more testing issues. When a partner is pregnant, particularly when there are complications, or if there are children, especially when they are young or newborn, it can deepen the resentment. The whole thing gets exacerbated further when extended family live far away. These trials can be testing for any relationship, let alone one which is already in trouble.

But while separation can deepen rifts, Wendy doesn’t think it is necessarily the cause or motive for one member of a couple to cheat or have an affair. In fact, if there are marriage problems, a partner might be unfaithful anyway – whether they are apart for a long period or not.

“I think with the advent of technology, it’s easier to cheat,” said Wendy. “Mobile phones and social media allows connections with others and what may start as innocent friendships move to flirting and even

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deeper. The problem is that no one person can meet all our needs and when a partner doesn’t live up to the other’s expectations they may seek what they feel is missing from elsewhere.”

Wendy believes cheating is more a symptom of our ‘disposable society’ than it is of deployment or long periods of separation.

“If something isn’t working,” she said, “or doesn’t meet our immediate requirements we discard it, seeking something that will give us a ‘quick fix’.”

The question is, whether it’s possible to salvage a relationship following an infidelity? And how can this be done when one member of a partnership is thousands of miles away and incommunicado?

Wendy thinks it is possible to rescue a relationship from an affair, but both partners must be willing to be honest and listen to each other… however hard that may be.

And she believes it is better to be upfront

and confess everything in one go, rather than shut down to reduce the damage, only for the information to come out in future.

This may only lead to further problems.

What’s more, Wendy advises couples not to be too hasty during this initial discussion.

“Too often couples initially lash out and make rash decisions. Take a step back, seek support from an unbiased family member or friend. Choosing someone who takes sides is only likely to add fuel to the fire and makes it more difficult to reconcile with your partner.” Wendy said it is important to be patient with each other. For while the person who has been cheated on is likely to feel hurt and unable to trust, the other is more likely to want to move forward and each member of the couple should understand this.

So what about deployment and other enforced periods of separation that military spouses experience? Can we use these to our advantage? Can absence really make the

“

“

The problem is that no one person can meet all our needs and when a partner doesn’t live up to the other’s expectations they may seek what they feel is missing from elsewhere.

heart grow fonder, particularly where the heart may have been broken?

Wendy thinks it certainly can. In fact, if managed correctly it can keep the relationship fresh. She suggests keeping in regular contact with each other, sending letters and cards with flirtatious or erotic messages and making plans for when you next meet. She added: “Just talking or writing about the mundanity of life is likely to make the relationship boring – so spice it up! It keeps the tension alive and there is nothing better when finally meeting again.” * Wendy Capewell, also known as ‘Your Relationship Specialist’ is the author of ‘From Surviving to Thriving in a Romantic Relationship’.You can contact her via her website:www.yourrelationshipspecialist. co.uk or by email: wendy@ yourrelationshipspecialist.co.uk You can find Wendy on Facebook at Capewelltherapies and she tweets at @CapewellTherapy 33

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WIN

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ituated on the edge of the Cotswolds with close proximity to Oxford, Burford and Hungerford, we are offering readers the chance to win a luxurious overnight stay for two people, including breakfast, at the award winning Sudbury House Hotel, Faringdon.

Included in the prize is dinner for two in the relaxing and informal 2 AA Rosette Magnolia Brasserie where recent MasterChef: The Professionals contestant, Head Chef Ben Bullen, together with his team will cook in our open plan kitchen with its amazing wood oven, using the very best of seasonal local produce to serve you a mouth-watering dinner.

Alternatively you can upgrade, at your own expense, to dine in the 3 AA Red Rosette fine dining Restaurant 56 where talented Executive Head Chef Andrew Scott from Great British Menu and his Head Chef Nick Bennett, finalist in the 2015 MasterChef: The Professionals will wow you with their memorable tasting menus.

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Send your answer, along with your name and address to competitions@forcespublishing.co.uk or write to us at Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northamptonshire NN10 0RU. Closing date: Fri 15th June.

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Always wanted to try needlefelting but not sure where to start? Well let us help you get going with our easy how-to guide to make this cute heart! Needlefelting uses barbed needles to felt together wool, and there’s no end of things you can make! You could gift this heart to someone special, make loads more and thread them together to make a garland, turn them into a mobile for a baby’s room, or use them as part of another craft project!

Needle Felting Y

ou will need some tools for this project. We have used a 36G gauge needlefelting needle, red roving wool (a small handful) and some finger guards (these are important so you don’t stab yourself!). Some needle kits come with wooden handles, but others you will need to buy separately. Needlefelting needles are notoriously brittle so make sure you get a few in case they break!

Step 1 Pull off a small handful of roving wool.

Making sure your finger guards are on, ball the wool up holding it between your two guarded fingers and begin to stab at it. As you continue to stab at the wool manipulate it into your desired shape.

Needlefelting takes a touch of patience, but you will soon see your heart taking shape.

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Be creative and have fun‌!

There are so many things you can create with needlefelting, we’d love to see your creations, share them with us on our Facebook page!

Step 2 When the wool starts to become a bit denser, create a midline by stabbing repeatedly in a straight line to create the top of the heart.

Step 3 Keep shaping the wool with your fingers as you go.

You can make the heart as solid or soft as you like, but bear in mind the denser you go the smaller it will be!

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s y a W l u f r e w o P e e r Th Military Spouses Can Stop Doubt, Fear and Uncertainty Dominating their Lives

As a military spouse, you are likely faced with a multitude of worries and dreads on a daily basis and maybe living a solitary life in a military environment, away from family and friends. It’s no wonder then that you could well be feeling lonely, helpless and somewhat depleted of your lifeforce.

All the uncertainty that comes with being a military spouse is enough to make any person want to give up sometimes. Throw the towel in, right?

And that’s understandable.

The problem is that when doubt, fear and uncertainty overpower your being, the hypothalamus in your brain responds by triggering the fight or flight response. This is when a signal is sent to your adrenal glands, causing them to release cortisol, adrenaline and glucose into your bloodstream. It’s a natural response designed to power up your body to get you running for your life!

So, when there’s a boat load of selfdoubt and insecurity in the air, the way you think, behave and even make decisions can become challenging and unproductive.

And it is the kind of coping mechanisms, strategies, beliefs and habits that you have developed over a lifetime that determines how you respond to external and internal events. If not mindful, the way you choose to respond could cut you off from the creative juices you need to make the best of your life, in whatever circumstances you may find yourself in.

Over the years I have helped many people breakthrough these kind of personal challenges and struggles. I have worked with military personnel and their spouses to help them find their own conscious solutions for overcoming anxiety, depression, low self-worth, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, addictions, divorce, bereavement and the loneliness that follows.

My work with my clients inevitably empowers them to improve all eight

key areas of their life: Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, Physical, Relationships, Social, Business and Money.

Because the good news is that you are equipped with a brain that is plastic which means every time you engage in any activity, your brain changes in some way. In fact, your brain is slightly different now from when you first started reading this article.

But the fact that you have read this far, shows that you are ready to create a breakthrough in your life, make a commitment to your happiness and turn your dreams into reality. To support you with that powerful decision, I have put together three proven ways to help you do exactly that:

1

Meditate to medicate. Next time you find yourself grappling with a false fear (e.g. fear of not seeing your spouse, not being able to pay your bills or make certain choices) stop whatever you are doing, sit down for 5 minutes, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Remind yourself that your brain has the ability to make any choice you command of it. This one habit alone can help you change your default thinking and, when you change the way you think, you change the way you feel. This will support you in re-affirming you’re on the right path to having more certainty, security and peace of mind in your life. Develop this new habit to help you overcome times of hardship with ease.

2

Know the form in which fear, doubt and uncertainty manifests in your life.

When you recognise the form, you can start to understand the root cause of whatever is troubling you. Truth is, you can’t change what you don’t know anything about, so take a pen and paper and start writing everything that you fear, doubt and pains you.

This will help you to understand which specific thoughts create a sense of insecurity for you around your life, your relationship with your spouse and the future you see for yourself. Many of the military spouses I have helped were experiencing profound loneliness and abandonment issues. In my book

#Loneliness – The Virus of The Modern Age, I share how we’re biologically wired with a longing to love, be loved and belong to an organized group.

Furthermore, I share why we fear the possibility of being cut off from our loved ones, demeaned or isolated and what people can do about it.

3

Utilise the power of belief.

Things always feel uncertain to some degree, don’t they?

Unfortunately, we tend to live life based upon a set of unquestioned beliefs.

For instance, many people believe that everyone is equal in the eyes of God, yet globally we experience inequality in every layer of our society. I have heard clients tell me that they can’t be successful in their own right, because they are married into the military. Yet, once I start to ask them powerful questions, they come to realize that they can have their own dreams and aspirations – they just need to rewire their thinking. On a trip to Brazil I consulted a woman whose husband

was not earning enough to support the expenses of their ever-growing family.

She ended up using everything I taught her to create, develop and run a very successful business. The truth is that the right mentor or coach can guide, empower and teach you how to design and live your perfect life.

Next time you are challenged by adversity, remember to use these three powerful ways to retrain your brain for excellence, so that you can stop standing on the edge of your potential and start fulfilling more of what you are capable of achieving for you and your loved ones. Make sure you credit your success to your willingness to learn from your experiences and keep moving forwards. Accepting that it is your fear, doubts and uncertainty that can act as your guide, to help you honour your inner truth, gifts and aspirations, will open you to a whole new world of opportunities. After all, you are a miracle of life.

Tony J. Selimi is globally known for focusing people from all professions to bring their visions to life, maintain a work-life balance and inner equilibrium and empower them to create quantum leaps in all of the eight key areas of life: Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, Physical, Relationship, Social, Business and Money.

He is an international bestselling author of A Path to Wisdom, the five times award-winning book #Loneliness - The Virus of The Modern Age and the Cocreator of “Living My Illusion- The Truth Hurts”, a Los Angeles and Hollywood award-winning documentary film. Tony has appeared on over 100 TV/Radio stations across the world and has been interviewed by Jack Canfield and Brian Tracy for ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX and their affiliates, reaching over 50 million viewers worldwide. For more information please visit http://tonyselimi.com

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AZ to

of

DEPLOYMENT

a de b SU R VIVAL

Accept Help

Take up the offer from your neighbor to pick the kids up from school once a week, ask your mum to cook you dinner or get your sibling to fix the 5 things that simultaneously broke the minute your partner walked out the door. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people, the chances are they will be happy to help.

Eat well

Dinner

Back to School

Cook dinner once a week for your friends or family.

Evenings can be the loneliest time, so make sure you’re not eating alone every night.

c

Long deployments are the perfect time to put your entire focus on learning something new.

Enroll onto an online course or see what local colleges have on offer!

It can be tempting to live off cereal and snack food but try and eat a good balanced diet to keep yourself healthy whilst they’re away (although we won’t hold it against you for eating a family size bar of chocolate whilst binge watching Gossip Girl every now and then!).

Cry

It’s ok to let yourself have a good old fashioned deployment meltdown every now and then, in fact, it’s good to let it all out! You’ll feel better for it afterwards.

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h Holiday

f

Friends

Organise a few days away, it could be you and the kids, you and your friends or just you flying solo.

Giving yourself some things to look forward to during the deployment will keep you occupied and staying positive.Yes, of course you’ll miss your partner, but take the time to focus on your kids, your friendships or yourself.

gi j Get Fit

If you’ve been meaning to get in shape now’s the time to do it! Give yourself something positive to focus on and set yourself a goal for your partners return, tone up, drop a dress size… imagine the look on their face when they see you!

Call them up, lean on them when you need them and if you’re new to the area go out and try to make new ones.

Friendships are invaluable when your partners away!

Independence

Go see a movie by yourself, book a table just for you at your favourite restaurant, have a spa day with just yourself for company.You might realise spending time alone isn’t so bad after all!

Journal

You might have a million and one things you want to say to your partner whilst they’re away. A funny meme you saw on Facebook, an interesting article you wanted to share with them. Keep a journal and write down the things you wanted to say or share each day for them to look at when they return.

k Know where important documents are

You never know when you might need them for you & your partner when they’re away!

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m

ln oq p Letters

Before your partner goes away, both sit down and write a letter to one another describing what you love most about each other.

Save the letters for your worst days, there’s no doubt they will bring smiles to both your faces.

Meal plan

If you’re on your own during a deployment it can sometimes seem like more effort than it’s worth to cook every night. Make it simple for yourself and plan your meals, even if you cook for 2 still you can always freeze one portion and use it next week for a quick and healthy tea!

Nights Out

Weekends can be the worst when your partners away so plan some girly nights out!

Organise

Organising something is always a great way to pass time quickly! Does a local charity need help with a fundraiser? Maybe you have a birthday party coming up you can start to plan?

Quiet

Positives

As with everything in military life, it is what you make it! Try to look for the good and think of 10 positive things about your partner being away. Less laundry, no arguing over the TV remote, the ability to be more spontaneous!

Instead of feeling sad that the house is so quiet when you’re alone try to enjoy the peace instead! Curl up with a good book and get some early nights.

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rs x vy Road Side Assistance

Make sure your policy is up to date & the same goes for all other insurances you have too!

You don’t want to be caught out without your partner around to help if you were to break down or damage occurred to your home whilst they are away. It could save you a lot of stress!

X-rated

Stay Busy

It’s a cliché term but the busier you are, the quicker the time will pass!

One of the unspoken but hardest parts of deployment is the lack of intimacy for such a long time!

Book yourself a boudoir photoshoot and treat your partner to the pics, or write them a different kind of letter.. if you get our drift!

t wz Volunteer

Volunteering some of your time is an excellent way to keep busy and meet new people if you’re new to the area.

u Take photos

Take photos of everything you do for your partner to see when they return, especially if you have children!

Understanding

Sometimes you just need someone who knows exactly how you feel. Call on other military spouses who are in the same boat as you for support, or drop Just for Her a Facebook message and we’ll do our best to help!

Just for Her issue 17 2018.indd 43

Yes

Say yes to more things!

Accept offers of help, invites to nights out and cups of coffee with friends old or new. Don’t sit around and mope, keep calm & carry on!

Write

If you’re having a particularly bad day sit down and write a long letter or email to your partner and send it off to them. Writing is cathartic and is a sure fire way to make you feel a bit better.

Zzzz

Get lots of good quality rest.. let’s face it, having the bed to yourself and no one to keep you up with their snoring is one perk!

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CONTRIBUTION

Welcoming HIM HOME

“Coming home” seems like such a simple concept and yet the reality is often far from easy. Your partner is returning from being on tour, and now you can welcome them home and get on with life as usual. Or not.

Why is it that the time of adjustment is often so rocky? What can you do about it and how can you help yourself and your partner through this transition time? This article is going to explore the impact of coming home for those who make the transition, and how you at home can help and support them as they adjust – as well as looking after yourself during this time.

Changes for Him When someone goes overseas, they expect life to be different. They encounter culture shock as they move into and establish themselves in that new place, whether that’s becoming deeply embedded into the culture of the country they’re in, or into the organisation they are in within that country. It takes a while to get used to.

When people return home, there’s often an expectation that they will simply slot back in.

The experience of living overseas is so intense and life-changing - physically, emotionally, mentally, and in many other ways. The person that comes home is never the person that left, even if it has only been 3 months - just imagine the amount of change that has gone on in 1-3 years! Yes, you may have managed some communication whilst they have been away, but what you have seen will have been snippets from that person’s existence, not the whole deal. They will have seen and experienced things that can never be

By Helen Watts

fully shared with you, even if you have a very close relationship. Much as you might try, you will never be able to fully relate to this part of their life in the same way as someone who was there with them. And let’s face it, we often don’t want to know the gory details any more than they necessarily want to share them.

Here are a few things people often struggle with on coming home: • Their own expectations of what it will be like • Not knowing how to share what they’ve been through, but finding people’s questions about it hard to answer or bizarre • Feeling overwhelmed by everyday life and sometimes its lack of structure • Fitting in to “normal society” with all its unexpressed norms after being in a close-knit community where it is clear what the rules of engagement are • Dealing with the expectations of their families • Sharing their emotional world when they’ve been taught to be resilient by getting their heads down and not thinking too much about their emotional response • Exhaustion – partly from the posting, but also the adjustment of coming back is very draining.

Changes for Her You on the other hand have stayed home.You have made your own routines and ways of doing things. The children, if you have them, have become used to being single-parented.You have changed too, but maybe in more subtle ways.You live more independently, although have possibly become more dependent on other friends and family members for your emotional support.You may have been starved of intimacy or have found it elsewhere. And you will have expectations of what life will be like with your partner at home again.

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Helen Watts is a life coach who specialises in transition…

“I spent many years as an expat in a remote corner of Central Asia with my young family. On my return to the UK I retrained as a life coach and a debriefer, and am particularly focused on those going through the transition of returning from living overseas.

Having been through re-entry ourselves – once as a couple, once with our young family – I know how disorienting it can be and how much of a roller-coaster ride.

I love being able to support others through the turbulence they encounter, and help them find meaning and positive pathways through it all.” www.WattsYourPathway.co.uk

“You may have managed some communication whilst they have been away, but what you have seen will have been snippets from that person’s existence, not the whole deal.”

Enter your partner, who is struggling with many of the things stated above, and it can be a recipe for fireworks. It can be difficult to relate initially because you’ve lived in such different worlds. The children may well find it very odd having a man in the house again. If they’re small, they might have only the vaguest of memories of dad. And you could probably really do with someone to share the jobs at home.Yet the man that is coming back is so exhausted and overwhelmed that he may not be able to carry the load you need and want him to bear.

What can you do to help yourselves during this time?

If you can, chat together about your expectations of each other – what would you like to see happen, how would you like to interact? It’s good if you can both start thinking about this before he comes home so that when he’s back you can have some conversations – and look together at whether the expectations are realistic or where you can both compromise to help the other.

Be gentle with yourself and each other. Adjusting takes time.You will both get things wrong. Try to give each other a lot of grace when you make mistakes, when you’re struggling to communicate or to understand how to communicate, or when you don’t meet each other’s expectations.

Try to find a new joint routine that helps you know where you are but also provides structure for him. He

needs routine to help him feel anchored, and it will also help him feel part of your life again in small ways. As always this needs discussing and agreeing together.

Both of you should continue to find emotional support within your own communities – just because he’s back doesn’t mean you should depend solely on each other for the support you need. Encourage him to stay in touch with others who came back at the same time, as they can make his adjustment struggles seem more normal. And you will need your own outlets when the adjustment is tough. Give each other space to adjust and to be who you are.

Seek help if you need to. It is never an admission of failure to seek help to get you through. There are plenty of coaches and counsellors within the Forces and outside who help people through transition and can listen to the struggles of your readjustment without judging you. If it’s hard, don’t wait until things fall apart before seeking advice.

Above all, know that adjustment takes time. With patience and gentleness, you can come through and be stronger for it.

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WIN!

Personalised Memories Print £29.95 - This print allows you to list between 12 and 20 memories that remind you of your Dad.

£30

Not On The Highstreet.com voucher…

Email us at competitions@ forcespublishing. co.uk Or tell us on Facebook or Twitter why your Dad or partner deserves to win!

Yorkshire Beer Experience £30 - The ultimate beer lovers gift takes you on a virtual pub crawl with a selection of some of the best beers from across Yorkshire perfectly paired with our favourite Yorkshire snacks.

GIFT GUIDE

2018

FATHER’S DAY Father's Day Daddy Card £2.95 - Treat Daddy this Father’s day to a gorgeous card created using traditional Linocut methods and hand lettering.

Real Vinyl Record Personalised Label 45rpm £29 - A Real Vinyl record with your own personalised details for your favourite song, available in 3 designs & 4 different colours.

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Personalised BBQ Tool Set £42 - This classy canvas BBQ tool set makes the perfect gift for those who enjoy cooking al fresco.

Personalised Golf Ball Bag £8 - The woven cotton bags are offered in a choice of three colours.

26/03/2018 10:44

Cricket Socks £10.50 - These stylish and unique Men’s Cricket Socks are the perfect gift for any cricket enthusiast! They come boxed, tied & ready to give!

Personalised Vintage Wash Bag And Towel £20 - Each bag comes with a towel which is also embroidered to match the bag. x3 mini toiletries including shower gel, body wash and body lotion.

Spitfire Silver Foiled Prints £18 - The perfect keepsake for the Spitfire collector or budding RAF/WW2 enthusiast. This beautiful set of Spitfire art prints can either be bought individually or as a set, and is available either framed or unframed.

Beer Chocolate Truffle Gift Box £11.75 - A truly unique chocolate experience - fine milk, white and dark chocolate are blended with dark beer to produce these aromatic and rich hand-made truffles.

M and M's Peanut Tree £24.99 Who doesn’t love Peanut M & M’s....? now in a fully edible tree! Yes, it really is edible right to the core,- the only bit you can’t eat is the stem and vase.

Make personal with an option to hand script a message on the glass vase Happy Father’s Day!

Coffee And Book Club Subscription Gift £29.95 - A special literary package on the doorstep every month: a surprise vintage paperback and delicious ground coffee.

Personalised Whiskey Slate Coaster £10.99 - A natural handmade product

Leather Passport Holder £28 - A beautifully handmade leather passport holder - the perfect personalised present for anyone who loves to travel!

Leather Travel Card Holder £15 - No more bulky wallet slowing you down - all you need, in one, super slim-line card holder.

Personalised Guitar Plectrums £10 - Each little kit contains 5 white plectrums which can be personalised with your choice of words, these come in a personalised tin, perfect to carry around wherever you go.

Just for Her issue 17 2018.indd 47

Chinook Cufflinks £22 - Perfect for every day or a special occasion in the Officer’s Mess! These cufflinks are ideal for anyone who loves flying. Perfect for an RAF or Army officer!

Personalised Drum Sticks £12 - Sometimes it is hard to buy a meaningful gift for a 47 drum lover. Look no further than these personalised drum sticks.

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LONDON MILITARY CATCHMENT

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WIN An iFLY Indoor Skydiving Experience!

iFLY is where those dreams of flight become a reality. Get ready to be suspended in a column of air which totally reproduces the feeling of freefall. We have a Family Flight Experience, plus free photos and video, to be won in our easy-to-enter competition…

Y

our experience begins with some basic training, an instructional video, kitting up and then the opportunity to see the class before you in action. iFLY works simply and safely. The tunnel circulates air into a flight chamber. When you enter the tunnel you simply stand in the open doorway and lean forward.You will feel your legs lifted from under you as you assume a horizontal flying position. Congratulations, you are now flying. The instructor will help you get into a neutral flying position before teaching you the basic moves. Movements including going up and down, forwards, backwards, sideways and turning are all simple and easy to master. If you don’t manage them in your two visits into the tunnel with this prize, you’ll probably want to come back for more. Before you leave the tunnel, your instructor will deliver a jaw dropping demo of his or her fantastic flying skills.

All three iFLY tunnels, Manchester, Milton Keynes and Basingstoke, are rated over 4.5 out of 5 on Trip Advisor, Facebook and Google Plus. Win this amazing prize and you’ll get to find out why!

TO ENTER SIMPLY ANSWER THIS QUESTION: Where can you go indoor skydiving with iFLY? a) Manchester b) Milton Keynes c) Basingstoke d) None of these e) All of these Email your answer, along with your name and address to competitions@forcespublishing.co.uk or write to us at Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northamptonshire NN10 0RU. Closing date: Fri 15th June.

Prize is one Family Flight Experience only.

The gift voucher will have a 9 month validity period.

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SOUTH MILITARY CATCHMENT

Where to Begin...

F

ollowing dinner one night with some close friends – two female therapists/ healers/ workshop leaders/ change makers and our partners, two male ex-soldiers – we discussed how to support people in need. Both men were struggling with the world despite being “out” a long time.

We talked about how others needed, support, people still in the forces, but more importantly those that live with them, their families and partners.

You see the forces person is conditioned; they are in a position they love and don’t see anything wrong with how they react, because to them its “normal”. But both our partners have realised more latterly that they are dealing with PTSD, anxiety and depression following their army careers. They find the outside world a challenge, and us women are not only their support; we’re also the ones who get the rough end when it’s not all working. There is only so much you can take when you are watching a loved one not reach their full potential in life.

Both men were relaying stories of how we have supported them, with our magic potions, healing and patience. But it has also pushed them to look at some of their darkest places; being loved so unconditionally can be scary when you have learnt how to shut down your emotions.

So as we were talking about how we could reach the women that know these guys, the women who love and support them so that they stay strong enough to remain centered and present and the call came from the magazine. They had seen my business and wondered if I would like to place an ad. I agreed straight away as long as there could be editorial, as we had a story to tell and here I am telling it. Call it coincidence, synchronicity, fate or whatever you feel, here I am.

Now, since that day back in January, my story has taken a bit of a twist! My partner changed jobs, less money, long commute, but finally the career move he had been craving. This came with its own stress, and it was easy to see how it was affecting our relationship.

At the same time, I was finding my own life faced some huge decisions, which I felt I had to make alone. He

spiraled and spiraled, until I no longer felt I could help as I had totally lost myself, his lack of support, his words of disappointment, his stress, his lack of sleep, his focus on everything other than our home life, just meant I woke up. Yes sometimes we fight back, we are only human after all, and we are dealing with our own traumas and baggage that come with being on this planet at this time.

None of us get through life unscathed by the lessons we are learning each day.

With my back in bits, chronic sciatica, and my body just telling me, NO MORE, I packed the kids in the van, and we left in the snow to hide out in a beautiful spot by the beach in Cornwall. As I sit here having escaped to the sunshine and melting snow at Lands End, I’m left with time to reflect on the past few months. What could I have done differently? How could I have helped more? What did I do wrong?

The truth is, nothing, this is his journey. In his funk he stopped taking all the supplements I had recommended, stopped using the oils that were supporting him, moved further and further away emotionally because it was all too painful to see, and far easier to blame, so it was all my fault! No amount of screaming, NO, no it’s not my fault will make any difference.

With the deadline for this article looming, I thought what do I do, how can I write about how to support your man when mine has just left, again!!! I realised it’s not about how to support them, it’s about making sure we can survive ourselves, keeping ourselves strong, our bodies and minds together so that we can stay consistent regardless of the changes that go on around us. After all we can never really change someone else’s journey; all we can do is work on ourselves in any moment.

Yes, it’s been painful. Yes, I have to reflect on myself too, but I also recognise without the power of essential oils to support me just now, I would not be functioning. The oils I am referring to are called DoTerra meaning Gifts from the Earth, they are the purest, most potent oils in the world

today in my belief, and can be used as plant medicine, so we can work with all conditions, physical, mental and most importantly emotionally, to support the body to be in optimum health. Because they are natural plant chemistry, they don’t come with the nasty side effects of many mainstream pharmaceuticals, and therefore can be more readily tolerated by our bodies.

I have a big back story of my own, including fibromyalgia, polycystic ovaries, endometriosis, hormonal issues leading to a hysterectomy, relationship break-ups, bereavements, and so much more, but they are not something that just happened, they are a part of my story, they have made me who I am today. I am a strong, independent woman, whose challenge in life is to remain strong in relationship, not to lose myself to that person, or to see them as my project so the journey continues... and in the space we have created, my lovely partner has woken up, once more. He has stepped back into love, and recognises his fear He is once again using his supplements and oils and has moved back into our home. Tomorrow, I go home, so we can talk, and work out if and how we move forward, but I believe in him, I see his journey and I know that through self-belief and taking back control of his own health, he will be stepping back into finding himself, with me offering support on the sidelines, as I keep myself strong and happy.

My offering to all you lovely ladies, if my story resonates, or you are dealing with your own wellbeing concerns, is to drop me a message, tell me a little about yourself, and book a free 15 mins consultation. Find our Facebook group, Essential Inspiration, where you can find out more about the online classes and workshops we run. I’m also looking to share oils with anyone who would love to host a class anywhere in the UK. We can talk about how to put on a free class in your area, with a little help, these classes share my story, empower women, share the power of oils, and truly make a difference.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you have an awesome day, breathe and know you are amazing, just as you are.

Laura X lauraexton@yahoo.co.uk | fb: inspirationfrome | 07487 848401

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SOUTH MILITARY CATCHMENT

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Sometimes we don’t know what we need to change, but we know something needs to be different. Other times we know what needs to be different but we struggle to make the change because our energy is drained, we feel jaded and ‘stuck’ and we are focused on the obstacles blocking our way. Sometimes we just don’t know where to start.

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Inspiration Natural Wellbeing Solutions Are you struggling with your wellbeing, be it physical, emotional, or mental health? Then reach out and see how we can help you. We work to coach you back to optimum health using Doterra Essential Oils and Supplements, coupled with many years experience in the therapy field.

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TAKEAWAYS TH E BES T & WO R S T …

Takeaways are one of life’s little pleasures. They’re convenient and satisfying but indulging in too many can have a negative effect on our bank balances, waist lines and overall health! But takeaways don’t have to be a calorific nightmare - provided you don’t eat them too often, you can still enjoy your favourite takeaway as part of a healthy, balanced diet. We’ve researched the best, and worst, choices you can make when reaching for the menus!

C H IN E S E Anything battered or described as ‘crispy’ means it’s been deep fried. Prawn crackers, prawn toast and spring rolls are also deep fried, making them high in fat. Steamed dishes are usually the best option, stir-fries are also a healthier choice as they are usually lower in fat and contain lots of vegetables.

Avoid: Sweet & sour dishes Battered pork and chicken balls Egg-fried rice Prawn toast Spring rolls Healthier Options: Crab & corn soup Steamed dumplings, fish and vegetables Chop suey Szechuan prawns

IND IA N There’s nothing quite like a curry for an indulgent treat, but for a healthier option choose things that aren’t deep fried or creamy. Opting for tomato based dishes such as madras will mean your meal is lower in fat, and sticking to plain boiled rice and chapatti is better than fried rice, naan breads and poppadums. Try and go for dishes with plenty of vegetables!

Avoid: Creamy curries such as Korma and Masala.

Naan bread Bhajis Pakora Poppadum Healthier Options: Tandoori or Madras with chicken, prawn or vegetables Vegetable side dishes, such as Dhal Plain boiled rice Chappati

TH AI Stir-fried or steamed dishes are a much healthier option than curries. Thai curries such as red and green, contain coconut milk which is very high in saturated fat.

Choosing steamed or boiled rice is better than egg fried, and choosing meals with lots of vegetables will help you reach your five-a-day.

Avoid: Fried rice Fishcakes Spring rolls Prawn crackers Satay skewers with peanut sauce Sweet and sour dishes Healthier Options: Clear soups Salads Stir-fried meat Fish or vegetable dishes Steamed seafood dishes Steamed rice

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F IS H & C H IP S The British favourite! There are lots of ways to make your trip to the chippy healthier.

Having a portion of baked beans or mushy peas and less chips will drastically reduce the fat content of your meal but still be tasty and filling. Battered foods soak up a lot of fat, so ask for your fish without batter or don’t eat all that is on your fish. If the chip shop does a breadcrumb option go for that as breadcrumbs soak up less fat than batter.

Fish and chips that are cooked in oil at the right temperature absorb less fat so watch out for soggy batter and chips because this is often a sign that it wasn’t cooked at the right temperature and will have a higher fat content.

Avoid: Pies Battered and unbattered sausages Battered fish Asking for salt – add a little yourself when you get home Healthier Options: Baked beans Mushy peas Fish with no batter Breadcrumbed fish

KE BA BS ITA LIA N

It’s hard to make a pizza healthy, but you can definitely try! Choosing lower fat toppings such as vegetables, ham, fish and prawns will go a long way. Some restaurants now offer lower fat cheese options, as this is where all the saturated fat and calories lie when it comes to pizza. For pasta dishes, opt for tomato based sauces rather than creamy ones.

Avoid: Deep-pan pizzas Stuffed crusts Triple cheese and pepperoni Creamy sauces Garlic bread Healthier Options: Small thin crust pizzas Vegetable or lean meat toppings Tomato based pasta sauces Bruschetta

B U RG E RS When the late night urge for a kebab strikes steer away from doner meat which is high in fat. Go for chicken or fish shish which is made using fresh chunks of meat and is often grilled. If you’re having a burger, a regular single patty is the best way to go.

Breaded or battered fish patties will be high in saturated fat. Extra sauces, cheese, and bacon will all add on calories – maybe more than you think – one tablespoon of mayonnaise adds on almost 100 calories to your meal. Thin cut chips absorb more fat than thick cut chips so try to always opt for those if you can and ask for extra salad in burgers and kebabs to up your daily intake of vegetables!

Avoid: Doner meat Mayonnaise Cheese Thin-cut chips Battered fish of chicken pattys Healthier Options: Shish kebab with pitta bread and salad Grilled burgers made from lean meat or fish Extra salad Thick cut chips with no sauce 53

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r e m m Su

Slow cookers aren’t just for winter! Dust yours off and bring it back out of the cupboard because we’ve got some fantastic recipes for you to try that are just perfect for fuss-free, hot summer evenings…

SLOW COOKER AUBERGINES An easy veggie slow cooker recipe, packed with summer flavours. Perfect if you’re busy, simply put it on in the morning and it will be ready by tea time.

Ingredients 4 tbsp olive oil 1 red onion, sliced 2 garlic cloves, crushed 500g aubergines 300g ripe tomatoes, quartered 1 small fennel bulb, sliced 50g sundried tomatoes 1 tsp coriander seeds For the dressing Small bunch flat leaf parsley, roughly chopped Small bunch basil, roughly chopped Small bunch chives, roughly chopped 2 tbsp olive oil Juice of 1 lemon 2 tsp capers For the topping 100g feta cheese 50g toasted flaked almonds

Method Pour half of the olive oil into the slow cooker and put the onions and crushed garlic on top. Slice the aubergines into 1cm thick slices lengthways and brush with the remaining olive oil. Put them into the slow cooker on top of the onions and nestle the tomatoes, fennel slices and sundried tomatoes in and around the aubergines.

Sprinkle the coriander seeds over the top then season everything well with salt and pepper. Cook on low for 6-8 hours or until the aubergines are soft. Once cooked put all the dressing ingredients into the bowl of a mini food processor and blitz until smooth.

Transfer the cooked vegetables to a serving platter using a slotted spoon and drizzle over the herby dressing. Top with crumbled feta cheese, flaked almonds and serve with some crusty bread on the side.

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PULLED PORK

Summer is the perfect time for burgers - this pulled pork makes a great substitute served in crusty rolls with coleslaw, or if you have a BBQ planned make a dish of this to serve and add to the burgers! Delish!

Ingredients 2kg pork shoulder, skin removed 1 onion, sliced 2 tsp smoked paprika 1 /2 tsp cinnamon 1 tbsp flour 2 tsp oil For slow cooking 4 garlic cloves, crushed 160ml cloudy apple juice 1 tbsp black treacle

2 tbsp honey 3 tbsp apple cider vinegar 50g onion marmalade To serve 1 fennel bulb, sliced thinly 1 apple, sliced thinly Juice 1 lemon 8 - 10 bread rolls English mustard Mayonnaise (optional)

Method Put the onion slices at the bottom of the slow cooker. In a small bowl mix together 1 tbsp salt with 1 tsp ground black pepper, the smoked paprika and cinnamon. Put the flour onto a plate then rub the spice mixture over the pork.

Heat the oil in a large frying pan and roll the spiced pork in the flour before putting it into the pan to sear it on all sides (you may have to do this in batches). Once the meat is starting to pick up a golden colour pop it on top of the onion slices in the slow cooker.

In a large jug combine all the ingredients for slow cooking the pork then pour over the meat. Pop the lid on and cook on the low setting for 8 hours.

When you’re ready to serve, take the meat out of the slow cooker leaving the cooking liquor behind. Put the cooked meat on a roasting tray or large shallow bowl and pull it into bite-size chunks and shred with 2 forks. Ladle a little of the cooking juices over the pork and mix together.

Toss the fennel and apple slices in the lemon juice and season well then serve along with the pulled pork in bread rolls. Spread the rolls with a little English mustard and mayonnaise if you like.

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SPANISH CHICKEN This slow cooker stew is packed with Mediterranean flavour – chorizo, olives, tomatoes and peppers. The meat will fall off the bone, and the sauce is just begging to be mopped up with a fresh chunk of bread.

Ingredients 2 tbsp olive oil 1 Spanish onion, halved and sliced 12 large bone-in chicken thighs, skin removed 225g pack chorizo picante, thickly sliced 3 mixed colour peppers, cut into chunks 150g (drained weight) pitted Spanish pimento stuffed green olives 300ml dry white wine 300ml chicken stock 1 tbsp tomato purée Method Heat the oil in a large frying pan. Fry the onion for about 5 mins until golden. Tip into the slow cooker, then fry the chicken and chorizo in the same pan until starting to colour – you may need to do this in two batches. Add to the slow cooker with the peppers and olives. Tip the wine, stock and tomato purée into the pan. Scrape up any bits stuck to the bottom, then tip into the slow cooker, cover and cook on low for 6 hrs. Serve with rice, new potatoes or salad.

GIANT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE Who says slow cookers are just for main courses?! This giant cookie is an easy peasy summer treat, served hot from the slow cooker with ice cream and chocolate sauce.

Ingredients 150 g butter at room temp 75 g light muscovado sugar 100 g caster sugar 2 eggs 1 tbsp vanilla extract 340 g plain flour

/2 tsp baking powder /4 tsp salt 100 g dark choc chips or chopped milk or dark chocolate 50 g sultanas or raisins, currants

1 1

Method Beat together the butter, two sugars, eggs and vanilla extract till light and fluffy. In a different bowl stir together the flour, baking powder and salt. Next stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, then knead so it all comes together like dough. The sides of the bowl should be clean when it is the right consistency. Stir in the choc chips and sultanas and make sure they are evenly distributed.

Grease your slow cooker bowl with butter, and cut grease proof paper to fit the base and put it in. Grease the top of the paper too. Spoon the dough into the slow cooker bowl and flatten/press into the sides. Slow cook for 3 hrs on low, with lid on and for the last 30 mins leave the lid half open.

Take the bowl out the slow cooker and leave to cool for half an hour.

Turn the cookie out on to a cooling rack, remove the grease proof paper for the bottom, and slice to serve. This was made using a 3.5litre slow cooker, you may need to adjust the quantities to suit your size slow cooker.

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Direct Voice Medium, Psychic and Healer Awaken and Join in Oneness

My work as a Directvoice Medium & Healer, expresses all that we are. It connects with a physical ailment, bringing relief, a mental block of fear, an incarnation of events taken place previously, a link with a loved one who has passed away, encouraging strength, stability & guidance, healing old wounds.

All of these things create a pattern of thought which merges with love & humility. My team of spirit worker’s act out a part of this in order to connect with you. They will talk to you and establish a link which provides you with the right instruction. Great humor is displayed for your ease, especially from my ‘control’ Nick’. Member of the NFSH. As well as 1-1 appointments and telephone readings. If you wish, take a look at my website, details below.

Member of Afertlife Connect.

Mobile: 07779478837 | E-mail: linda.silence@googlemail.com Website: fusionofoneness.com | MNFSH

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Little Webheads Ideal for Birthday Parties Parties, Wedd W Weddings ings and more. We give your children a day they will never forget as they meet their favourite superheroes and princesses, including Spiderman, Anna & Elsa, Belle, Storm Trooper and Kylo Ren.

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FUSION OF ONENESS

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Hen on the Shore Fused Glass and Gifts Personalised glass artwork for any occasion Please see the website for further details www.henontheshore.co.uk

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Please call us, or have a look on our website, we are the South West’s leading CBD/Hemp supplier, we stock only the major brands renowned in the industry.

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7

SUPERFOODS

of

2018

Move over kale, quinoa and coconut water, that’s like, sooo 2016! There are some new superfoods on the block that you should have your eye on, packed with even more nutritional benefits. Some may sound bizarre right now but 5 years ago who would have thought we’d be feasting on avocado on toast and grinding up chia seeds to add to basically everything?!

NUT OILS Nut butters have been around for a long time, and last year they came particularly popular. This is mostly thanks to veganism. More and more people have chosen to give up animal products in favour of a plant –based diet, and with veganism rising a whopping 350% in the last decade it’s no wonder its getting easier and easier to get your hands on things like cashew, almond and hazelnut butters in supermarkets.

Following suit, nut oils are the new breed of superfood cooking essentials with cold pressed almond, cashew, walnut and hazelnut oils set to be a healthier alternative to the average olive, vegetable or sunflower varieties.

Nut oils contain much less damaging trans fats, making them far healthier for the heart. They also serve well as an alternative to olive oil for salad dressings. Whilst they aren’t so great for sufferers of nut allergies, there is also avocado oil which is fabulous for cooking!

MORINGA Macha, matcha, spirulina and green tea powder have held the top spot for green powders when it comes to supercharging your smoothies, but there’s a new kind in town that’s about to rule the roost. Moringa may sound more like new dance craze than something you’d eat but it’s said to be even more powerful than the above, with its highly nutritious profile and huge anti-inflammatory, antioxidant and tissue protective properties along with many other health benefits. Moringa oleifera, also known as horseradish tree, ben tree, or drumstick tree, is a small tree from India, Pakistan, and Nepal that has been used for generations in Eastern countries to treat and prevent diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, anaemia, arthritis, liver disease, and respiratory, skin, and digestive disorders.

It’s a great source of vitamins, minerals and amino acids, and it contains significant amounts of vitamin A, C and E plus, despite being caffeine free it’s a great natural energy booster! Drink it as a tea or add it to your smoothie, the only downside is it can have a laxative effect in large quantities so it’s recommended you start with 1 /2 to 1 teaspoon per day to begin with!

CHAGA MUSHROOMS Chaga mushrooms aren’t much to look at, but what they lack in aesthetics they make up for in immune boosting, disease fighting super power! The Chaga mushroom typically grows on birch trees in colder climates across the northern hemisphere, and whilst you probably aren’t going to be able to pick some up in your local Tesco veg aisle you can order Chaga teas online which boast the same benefits. Chaga has been consumed for centuries in the East, most typically as tea. It has an abundance of Beta-D-Glucans which

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help balance the response of the body’s immune system. This means that Chaga boosts the body’s immune system when needed but slows it down when it’s overactive. It’s also been noted to normalise blood pressure and cholesterol levels, along with some evidence that it can help reduce your risk of cancer and even help those diagnosed fight the disease.

CASSAVA FLOUR Talk about a crowd pleaser! This beautiful soft powder is paleo and vegan friendly, wheat and nut-free and is a much closer alternative to wheat flour for gluten-free eaters! While it doesn’t have an overwhelming amount of nutritional benefit that you couldn’t get elsewhere, we thought it deserved a place on this list simply for its plant based and allergy friendly qualities. It can be found relatively easily in health food shops or online, and some major supermarkets have started stocking it too!

JACKFRUIT Jackfruit became famous last year as being the vegan version of pulled pork – yes, you read that right. This unusual fruit is a relative of figs and breadfruit, and it grows in tropical areas of Southeast Asia, Brazil and Africa. While it is a fruit, its consistency is more that of meat, similar to chicken or pork. It has a fairly neutral flavour so takes on the taste of whatever seasoning or sauce it is paired with.

It’s a little stringy which works particularly well when added to tangy BBQ sauce to create pulled ‘pork’. Whilst jackfruit can give the illusion of meat, a 2.65 ounce only packs a measly 1g of protein, compared to 21g of the same size portion of chicken so it isnt an alternative source for protein. However, unlike animal sources of protein, Jackfruit contains no saturated fat or cholesterol, it’s light on sodium, and low in calories with just 20kcal per 2.65 ounce serving.

Additionally, jackfruit contains 3g of fibre and 110mg of potassium, which are both heart healthy nutrients that many of us are not getting enough of. On top of all that it’s also sustainably sourced, something that more and more people are taking into account when buying food these days. It can be hard to come across fresh jackfruit in the UK but it’s easily bought in bulk in tins online from sites such as Amazon, and hopefully it will be a supermarket staple in years to come as its popularity soars!

MAQUI BERRIES It’s time for goji and acai to move out of the spotlight and make way for Maqui berries. With lower sugar content and a less bitter taste these hard working berries contain a huge dose of antioxidants and can aid digestion, boost metabolism and help regulate blood sugar. Maqui berries have been praised as a natural remedy or protectant for several health conditions including arthritis and high cholesterol.

They contain a whole host of vitamins and minerals as well as fibre.

Powder forms of these berries can be found easily online, just add a dose to your morning smoothie for a super berry boost.

TURMERIC Currently one of the most scientifically studied superfoods around, turmeric should really be in your daily diet! It’s been proven to help with joint pain and arthritis, it’s also been linked to a delayed onset of type 2 diabetes and may even be helpful in the fight against Alzheimers. Turmeric can be taken as supplements, is great for adding to veggies and curries, or even drinking as a tea. It’s sold in all supermarkets, although for big quantities its more economical to buy online in bulk or visit a health food shop.

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SOUTH MILITARY CATCHMENT

As the weather is warming up buffets are set, dinner par es are hosted and hospitality ramps up.

In all the socialising it’s easy to forget that a cheeseboard can be an easy-to-make impressive addi on to any celebra on. Rather than leaving it to the last minute and simply grabbing whatever is nearest, Louisa Mason from Flavour Tas ngs gives us some top ps to create an impressive cheeseboard.

“Variety is the key to a perfect cheeseboard,” she suggests. “Combine different styles, colours, shapes and flavours so there is something for everyone.” Start with a so and creamy cheese like a brie or camembert. Find one that is unctuous and will be at the peak ripeness when you are ready to eat it. This means keeping an eye on it in the fridge and even taking it out a few hours before ea ng to finish its maturing process. French Bries and Camemberts tend to be stronger compared with Bri sh ones so choose the flavour profile you most enjoy. For something really Bri sh try Isle of White So an unctuous creamy cheese made with Jersey milk, or the rich and deep flavoured Tunworth from Hampshire.

Add to your board a hard cheese. The obvious choice is a mature cheddar but also consider less well know cheeses like Old Winchester, a cross between an Old Amsterdam, Parmesan and Vintage Cheddar produced in the New Forest.

Con nental style hard cheeses also go well such as an aged Gruyère. Whilst many people just use Gruyère for cooking this is a deeply complex cheese especially if you can acquire some Premier-Cru matured for 14 months. Of course, the na on’s favourite cheese is cheddar and this in itself comes in variety of flavours and styles.

How to Create the Perfect

Cheeseboard From the more earthy, farmhouse flavour of an unpasterised Montgomerys all the way through to the sweet, so Godminster Vintage, there is a plethora of good cheddars to pick from. Barbers 1833 Vintage Cheddar is a good mix of savory and sweet notes which will suit most pale es and is over 2 years old.

O en over-looked are the semi-so cheeses.

This includes so delicate cheeses like Cornish Yarg and also the washed rind cheeses. “Washed rind cheeses are seriously under rated in the UK.” Louisa tells us. “They are much more popular on the con nent which is a shame considering how good they have become in the UK now.” She suggests looking further afield than S nking Bishop too. “Sussex has an amazing washed rind cheese called Burwash Rose. It’s creamy, rich in flavour and washed in rose water giving it a lovely floral aroma.” If that’s not to your taste try a firmer washed rind cheese like Drunken Burt whose producers are winning numerous awards.

Of course no board would be without a blue like S lton nick-named ‘King of English

Cheeses.”There are now six producers who can make S lton under the Protected Designa on of Origin Scheme. Under these rules the cheese must be made in Derbyshire, Leicestershire or No¤nghamshire and only from pastuerised milk.

This means the unpasteurised form cannot be called S lton but is actually named ‘S chelton.’

S lton needs very li le explana on but do try out the different producers. Colston Basset tends to be slightly lighter in texture whilst Cropwell Bishop has more tang. S chelton can be very piquant and goes wonderfully with a glass of ruby port.

For a truly stunning board consider the colour and shape of each cheese and try to bring in some variety. The other considera on is to include at least one non cow’s milk cheese like an ash-covered goat’s cheese or square ewe’s milk cheese like Flower Marie. “I love Flower Marie,” writes Louisa. “It’s definitely on best boards. So , lemony with a lingering tang this Sussex cheese is a gem.”

Finally presenta on is everything so make sure you have a nice pla er to serve it on. This can be wood, marble or slate and feel free to experiment with how you decorate it. Frozen grapes, walnuts, edible flowers, the list is endless. However, don’t get too carried away as some mes less is definitely more!

Of course the drinks you serve can make or break a cheese. O en white wines go be er, especially with so cheeses so don’t always head for a heavy red. Louisa runs lots of cheese and wine matching evenings and one of the things she showcases is Champagne with rich creamy cheeses like Brillat Savarin, a French triple cream cheese. “People are amazed,” she writes. “The champagne bubbles cuts through the richness and lets you taste more of the other flavours in the cheese.” Another great match is cider with Camembert, a classic Normandy match.

So whatever you decide to have on your cheese board, make sure you give it some thought. If you want some more ‘cheesey’ advice or are interested in having a cheese tas ng event then see Louisa’s website. www.flavourtas ngs.co.uk or follow her on Facebook and Twi er.

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SOUTH MILITARY CATCHMENT

More and more people are waking up to the fact that you have to look after your health and not take it for granted.

It involves more than just eating real food but exercise, looking into your emotions and taking a more holistic approach to life. If this is you, then I’d like to introduce Julie Harrison.

Julie has had many health problems over the years. However, it’s the way she’s turned them around and used them to empower not just herself but thousands of others that’s quite inspirational.

“You have breast cancer.”

Back in 2009, she was living what was considered a fairly healthy life, lots of fruit and vegetables, regular exercise plus plenty of water. Then she heard the words that every woman dreads. “You have breast cancer”.

She had surgery but decided that chemotherapy, radiotherapy and drugs weren’t going to help her and so instead, she made a number of simple but quite profound changes to her diet and lifestyle.

Improve

Your

Health A year later the results were truly incredible.

Monitoring the changes It was a very scary time for Julie, especially with her very conventional upbringing. Her family and friends were constantly telling her to follow the advice of the consultants.

However, she just knew there had to be a better way, and at the age of just 44, she wanted more than the 5 years survival time they were talking about.

Six months after surgery she discovered Thermography. Medical Thermography is used as a method of research for early pre-clinical diagnosis and control during treatment of homeostatic imbalances.

The scans con irmed that there were no areas of concern in her breast, but it was the follow-up scan, 3 months later that proved interesting. The scan clearly demonstrated signi icant improvements. The actual breast area should be blue or green, with no areas of yellow and red.

February 2010

migraines had stopped, varicose veins had reduced, digestive problems disappeared, skin tone and texture improved, stress levels reduced dramatically, and she had a new zest for life. Wow. Powerful stuff.

soya. Have I mentioned how delicious they are too?

The book about her recovery from cancer is called ‘From Cancer to Clear - my eight eye openers to improve your health’. The main theme is how everyone can empower themselves and improve their health. All available from her website https://www. improveyourhealth.co.uk.

How Julie can help you The overriding message Julie shares is that if you give your body what it needs, it knows what to do. Just some of the areas she covers are: • Weight loss • Increased your energy

Change of Career

• Improved gut health • Boosted immune system

The Thermograms were exceptionally reassuring, especially so, because the Mammogram she had at the time of diagnosis didn’t pick up her cancer.

The skydiving accident A couple of years into her new regime Julie realised that the pain from a skydiving accident over a decade before had completely gone. Back in 2000, Julie was told she might never walk again due to a broken femur and smashed pelvis. The injuries were so extensive that it took 2 weeks before a skilled enough surgeon was found. In the meantime, a bolt had to be drilled through her knee, and a 20kg weight hung from it to stop the natural healing process.

The recovery was hard, but she proved them wrong, and 8 months later she wasn’t just walking she was back skydiving again. However, the constant pain even when lying down was almost unbearable, but that didn’t stop her going on to do another 500 skydives.

Julie had to share what she had found • Glowing skin and hair out, and so founded ‘Improve Your Health’, helping others experience • Improved sleep the same results as she had. This • Reduced pain is done through coaching, advice, retreats, workshops, her three books • Detoxifying lifestyle and also talks and demonstrations.

• Create fast food 4 health The beautiful resort of Torbay in • Free health tips via Newsletter Devon is where she lives but Skype consultations are available, and nd the retreats can be held throughout out Why the country. She teaches using ng not take her own personal experiencee advantage of he r very special offer for and the knowledge gained readers of Just for He r?

A from thousands of hours discount of 20% on Skype calls and her eB of studying. Thousands of ooks available fro m her we bs ite https://www.imp people have taken back roveyourhealth. co.uk, using code JFH20. If you have control of their health, and a small group of ladies wh o would all like her aim is to inspire and to have a Healthy Weeken d Retreat, then co empower as many people ntact her on 07901 764488 , and many healt as possible. h secrets will be revealed to you.

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Unexpected results with incredible side effects

May 2010

To realise that the incessant pain had dissolved away was a miracle. Her desire to stop the cancer returning had had an unbelievable side effect.

By reducing the in lammation in her body not only had the constant gnawing pain gone but her frequent

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• Lose weight • Increased energy • Improved gut health • Boosted immune system • Glowing skin and hair

• Improved sleep • Reduced pain • Detoxify your life • Create fast food 4 health • Free health tips via newsletter

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CONTRIBUTION

Medical Detection Dogs You’d be forgiven for thinking that this was just another happy, healthy child with his four-legged companion. But you’d be wrong because this little boy has diabetes and the dog is his lifesaver…

Jack had always been a poorly baby, in and out of the doctors since infancy, but without any clear diagnosis. It wasn’t until he was four years old that the cause was eventually identified - Type 1 Diabetes. To Jack’s Mum, Heather, and Dad Boo, this news came as a complete shock and for a few seconds it felt like her life had stopped before being turned completely upside down.

Post diagnosis life was extremely hard.

Unfortunately, their extended family were unable to offer support and so they were left to fend on their own, trying to teach themselves how to manage Jack’s condition.

Heather was up every hour in the night to check Jack’s sugar level and the fatigue she felt was indescribable. Looking after Jack was a full-time job, so also holding down a paid job would have been completely impossible.

Heather found herself unable to switch off at any time, her brain was always on alert, and she was unable to get any respite as she could not go out and leave Jack with anyone else.

Moreover, she constantly had horrible fears that the worst would happen, especially at night, when she worried that Jack wouldn’t wake up in the morning.

Life improved slightly after Jack was fitted 70

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with an insulin pump at the age of seven and it was also around this time that a family member mentioned that he had heard of assistance dogs for Diabetics. Jack immediately set about researching all he could on the subject and it was during one of his internet searches that he came across Medical Detection Dogs. At this stage Heather was sceptical, believing there was no point in pursuing it further as it was very unlikely anything would happen because of the long waiting lists and that both Jack and herself were very nervous of dogs.

Despite this Jack persevered and applied to the charity. After assessment Jack was accepted on to the waiting list and the formal process began. Initially the charity spent time working with Jack and Heather on their nervousness of dogs, spending time just playing and socialising with them. Then when their confidence had increased the charity started working on the matching process.

Shortly after Jack went to meet with two dogs, “Jack and Dottie struck up an immediate one of whom was Dottie, a Labrador cross Golden Retriever. Jack and Dottie struck up an bond, with Jack loving her character. immediate bond, with Jack loving her character.

Following training Dottie picked up on Following training Dottie picked up on Jack’s Jack’s captured odour, and alerted Jack captured odour, and alerted Jack to a hypo to a hypo within a few minutes within a few minutes of meeting him.

of meeting him.”

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Jack is absolutely overjoyed with Dottie. “My life has changed.

Dottie is truly amazing and I couldn’t have done it without her. She was like a missing piece in a jigsaw puzzle. She is like a second Mum to me because she looks out for me just like my Mum does.”

Dottie is one of more than 100 dogs specially trained by experts at the Milton Keynes-based Medical Detection Dogs, a charity which is harnessing the canines’ highly acute sense of smell to help people manage conditions such as diabetes and provide a potentially lifesaving warning system.

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“Your thoughts are your future” Emily David Clinical Hypnotherapist With my help I will guide you to make the changes that you want. Hypnosis does not perform miracles, however it can help by targeting direct areas of the mind that may need a little re-wiring!

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Applying for SFA and have a furry friend who needs to come along too?

Here’s what you need to know…!

H

aving a furry friend can be a wonderful addition to the family! If you wish to keep pets in your Service Family Accommodation, you first need to seek permission from CarillionAmey. Make it clear what pets you are wanting to keep when applying for housing. Or, if you wish to adopt a pet or bring additional animals into your SFA you will need to contact CarillionAmey Customer Service Centre team via email or telephone 0800 707 6000. Pets are accepted on an individual basis so you will need to get permission for each animal even if you have already been allowed pets in the past.

Generally accepted animals are those classed as domestic animals, such as dogs, cats, rabbits and small caged animals. If you wish to keep chickens a member of the housing team will need to visit your property to assess whether the garden is suitable to keep them in before you get permission.

Chickens can cause a lot of damage to the ground they are kept on so be prepared to fork out for any repairs or turf relaying when you eventually leave the property.

Chickens can also attract foxes and vermin so it’s important that you keep them in a fox proof enclosure and keep their home clean to help prevent rats and to keep any smells from bothering neighbours. Other farm animals, horses and exotic creatures are not permitted in SFA.

Whilst you have pets at the property your responsibilities with them are much the same as on civvy street. Noise complaints are taken very seriously in SFA and you will need to ensure your pet is not making any noise that can be heard from outside the house during the evening, night time or early morning – this is especially important to dog owners. If an engineer needs to visit the property to carry out maintenance you will need to be able to shut your pet out of the way. This not only ensures the safety of the worker but also keeps your pet away from potential injury. Dogs need to be kept under control and any mess cleared up promptly when on walks around your housing estate. Failure to do so could land you with an on the spot fine. This varies

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from council to council but could be as much as £80. Dogs should be kept on a lead and should be kept off of sports fields and away from playgrounds. It’s now a legal requirement for dogs to be microchipped and contact details kept up-to-date, so make sure this is on your to-do list when moving!

If you don’t you could find yourself with a fine of up to £500 – ouch! When you move into your new property take the time to check fences and gates for any damage or possible places for your dog to escape.

While it’s unlikely that a request to keep an animal would be denied it is up to the owner to be responsible with their pet as permission to keep animals can be revoked and this could prevent you from keeping any pets in future SFA. When you vacate the property you will be required to make good any damage caused by your pets.You will also be asked to provide proof that you have had all carpets and flooring professionally cleaned. This will need to be done whether there is any visible evidence of having pets or not. This can be costly, especially if you find yourself moving around often. It’s important to keep your pets free from flea infestation. If this occurs you will need to make sure the house is fumigated properly as if infestation occurs shortly after you leave the house you could still be liable for further charges so that the problem can be addressed. If you had any dog or cat flaps installed during your stay you will need to make sure these have been removed and panels replaced.

If you happen to be posted abroad, leaving pets behind can be upsetting. Some small caged pets may be allowed on certain flights to Cyprus as carry-on luggage. The BARC (British Forces Animal Re-homing Centre) offer support for military personnel with pets in Cyprus, including boarding and an import/export service exclusively to Service personnel.

M

MOVING WITH PETS

oving house can be a difficult time, especially for pets! It’s stressful enough when you understand what’s going on, so imagine how your pets must feel when everything they are used to around them is changing. Their home is emptying, there are unusual smells and strangers may be in and out of their home – and that’s before you’ve even actually moved! Here are some tips on keeping it as stress free as possible for your furry friends when the time comes to move on.

CATS Make sure your cat is microchipped and details are up to date. An identification tag on a quick release collar is a good idea too.

On moving day confine your feline to one room with a litter tray and some of his favourite things and keep disturbance in that room to minimum for as long as possible.

Let removal people know your cat is in there to stop them letting him out by accident.

Keep your cat in a carrier on the journey to your new home. Take extra blankets, wipes and bedding in case of accidents and if you stop for breaks don’t leave your cat alone in the car.

When the move is complete let your cat familiarise himself with his new surroundings. Pheromone plug-ins can help your cat feel more secure and happy in his new home.

It’s recommended you keep your cat in for at least 2 weeks and then gradually introduce them to their new outdoor surroundings. Go outside together and keep the back door open to begin with so they can easily run back in if something spooks them.

Dogs As with cats, make sure your dog is tagged and microchipped and details are up to date.

Dogs tend to get underfoot more than cats so keep your dog to one room to keep them out of the way and stop them from getting injured or making someone else fall over!

If possible, have someone they know take them out for a walk or to their home for a while.

Once you arrive at the new house, let your dog familiarise himself with the smell of the new house. Let him explore, but leave him in a room at night with some familiar toys and bedding from the old house for comfort.

Dogs can be quite particular about where they relieve themselves.

During the first few days accompany them outside regularly so they learn where the bathroom is and give them plenty of time to find the perfect ‘spot’.

Keep a close eye on your dog during the first few days and give them lots of love and reassurance. This will hopefully reduce their anxiety and prevent coping behaviours such as chewing.

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CHILDFREE

BY CHOICE

The number of childless women is on the rise in the UK. But is society’s attitude towards couples who choose not to have kids adjusting in line with the trend? We examine the challenges faced by women who don’t want children and what happens when a couple disagree over starting a family…

As women we are constantly under pressure of some kind. When we are single we are always being asked whether we have met that someone special. When we do eventually ‘couple up’ the next question on the lips of our nearest, dearest (and even some to whom we are less well acquainted) is when we plan to marry. And then, when the knot is well and truly tied, the inquisition turns to children…

There is an assumption in society that, once we have wed or simply found the partner we want to spend our lives with, that children will undoubtedly come next.

After all, what woman in her 20s and 30s with a womb and collection of healthy hormones wouldn’t want a gorgeous bundle of joy to complete her family and satisfy her maternal instincts? Well… quite a few, actually. Indeed, figures show that women in their 40s who are childless has risen from one in nine amongst those born in the 1940s to one in five for those who were babies in the 1970s.

A quick social media poll asking women about their choice to have children activated a number of responses from females in their 20s, 30s and 40s who, for varying different reasons, had decided to remain childless - or childfree as they sometimes prefer to be known. For some their decision was entirely practical perhaps stemming from the fact they had a genetic illness they did not want to pass on to future generations, career commitments or having other responsibilities such as being a carer. And then there were the women who said they simply did not want children. They never had and they never would.

“We get to go on holiday whenever we want, wherever we want and we can eat out

any night of the week or go to the cinema without having to pay a fortune for a babysitter,” said one 38-year-old woman.

“Our friends with children are envious of our holidays and that we can still stay out late, go to festivals or just be spontaneous and book a weekend break. I don’t think people think we are selfish but I do think they are surprised we don’t have children.

Friends have stopped asking now if we are having kids, but they used to ask all the time and it did get a bit annoying.”

If you need evidence of the stigma attached to not having children, you need look no further than our very own Prime Minister. Cast you mind back to the Tory leadership battle of summer 2016 and the furore surrounding MP Andrea Leadsom’s comments that having children made her a more worthy PM than Mrs May, who does not have kids. And then there’s Jennifer Aniston whose child-free status is rarely off the celebrity news agenda. In fact, if you Google the actor’s name, “Jennifer Aniston kids” is the fourth most commonly entered search. It even comes in higher than enquiries about her legendary hair.

But how do you, as a childless woman,

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“I don’t think people think we are selfish but I do think they are surprised we don’t have children. Friends have stopped asking now if we are having kids, but they used to ask all the time and it did get a bit annoying.”

manage those comments from friends and family who don’t understand your stance on this very fundamental life choice?

Lisa Phillips, award-winning confidence coach, wellness speaker and author of The Confidence Coach book, said it’s important to remember that you and your partner are the only people who know what makes you happy and therefore have the right to make this decision about your own lives. “If you don’t want kids,” she says, “then first of all get comfortable with your own decision so that even if anyone questions you, you feel secure and comfortable responding.

Remember, you don’t have to justify your decision to anyone - just own and accept it yourself. At the end of the day, it really isn’t anyone else’s business what you choose to do with your life. Your life is your decision.”

So, what happens when people close to you are upset by your decision? Lisa said disappointing people is just part of life but it means you are being true to yourself.

“It is far more important,” she said, “to please yourself than to go around trying to keep other people happy or please them.

Focus on your own happiness as a couple rather than focussing on keeping other people happy.” Lisa suggests using phrases such as “we are really comfortable with our decision” or “I am sorry you don’t understand but it is our decision and we are happy with it.”

When both partners in a relationship are in agreement over such a fundamental decision, it is of course easier to move on from the scrutiny of others and not to mention any social stigma. But what happens when a couple disagrees over whether they want children? Can a relationship move on from such a vast disparity? Lisa believes it can but it must start with both sides of the couple being 100% honest with each other. She said you must tune into what you both want

out of life. It could be children, adventure, travel - but whatever it is, she urges you put whatever makes you happy as your first priority. Lisa said, “It is possible to reach a compromise but both parties must be on board.You may be able to reach a compromise if wanting kids is based around fears. For example, fear that you won’t make a good parent or worries about the cost of having kids or fear that having kids may cause havoc in your career. If you do reach for a ‘middle ground’ then make sure both parties are satisfied with the outcome.”

And she adds: “Check in with yourself on regular occasions.Yes you may love your partner, but are you happy that you want the same things out of life going forward?”

If after this process you still find both you and your partner cannot agree or reach a compromise then it is probably time to consider separating.

“When both partners in a relationship are in agreement over such a fundamental decision, it is of course easier to move on from the scrutiny of others and not to mention any social stigma. But what happens when a couple disagrees over whether they want children?”

Allison Reiner, a relationship coach, believes no partnership will work if both parties have realised this particular situation doesn’t have a future. As such, it’s an important question to discuss early on. “It is a conversation any couple in a healthy relationship would have before

making a long-term commitment to each other,” she says. The problem arises, says Allison, when people choose to ignore what they hear and hope their partner will change their mind in the future. “This is a dangerous strategy,” says Allison. “Already, early in the relationship, you are flagging up communication problems where one person is wilfully not hearing the other person and is hoping to control the relationship and the outcome to get what they want. We can’t change another person, only ourselves.

You are not only showing disrespect to your partner but not being honest in your intentions. This isn’t a good footing for any relationship.”

It might be tempting to begin couples counselling in a bid to help reach the middle ground with your partner. But, Allison urges caution: “The problem is that some people have the hope the counsellor will persuade their partner where they have failed. This is absolutely not what counselling is about. Couple coaching or counselling will help if both parties are willing to keep an open mind and use the sessions as a way to understand there is room for negotiation, and to create a space to be heard and to listen,” she added. * Lisa Philips is an award-winning Confidence Coach and Wellness speaker with 18 years experience. She is the author of The Confidence Coach book. To find out more go to www. amazingcoaching.co.uk * Allison Reiner is Loved Again Coach who works with women to transform their marriage by changing the relationship they have with themselves.

She has just released a six-week course ‘Overcome People Pleasing & Set Boundaries in Six Weeks’. You can find out more about her work via her Facebook community ‘Loved Again & Forever’ or at http://allisonreiner.com/ 77

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CONTRIBUTION

Just a Thought...

By Katie V

Single? Working hard? Need a holiday?

Fear not - a solo trip is easier and more enjoyable than you might think…

A few years ago I found myself single and desperate for a holiday, both so I could move on personally and to get some respite from a very demanding job.

Without a partner to travel with however, I reckoned my options were pretty limited.

How exciting could a trip for one be? I supposed I could visit family in the UK, but, without wishing to be rude to them, I wanted something a little more exotic, a proper change of scenery and, preferably, one which required a passport. And hell, I was working ridiculous hours and deserved something to really look forward to.

The more I thought about it the more stubborn and determined I felt about booking a foreign holiday and going somewhere I really wanted to visit. During my university summers I had worked and travelled in America at a summer camp and affectionately called them my ‘safe adventures’. And now, several years later, a safe adventure was exactly what I needed again.

That weekend, while perusing through the Sunday paper, I saw an advert for a train holiday in the travel supplement. One

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itinerary would take in Tuscany: Pisa; Montecatini; Lucca; Venice. What a dreamy tour, so romantic, cultured, sophisticated.

And all served with wonderful Italian cuisine, washed down with decent coffee and superb vino.

“Sign me up”, I thought. I had always wanted to visit Tuscany and now, without having to consult or persuade anyone else, I booked it!

The two week trip in late September sunshine was fabulous. I do have be honest though, the majority of the tour group were senior couples enjoying retirement and I brought the average age down by at least 30 years, but everyone was ridiculously friendly. Rather than feeling like the odd one out, my fellow travellers were keen to sit with me, talk with me, invite me to join them for dinner, and we mutually enjoyed numerous conversations with diverse opinions and perspectives. When I wanted company or to share the cost of a gondola ride it was easily achieved, and when I wanted to enjoy my own company I could and I did.

I will never forget how wonderful it felt to spend two days meandering around Venice, turning down any canal that took my fancy, browsing in shops I liked the look of, stopping for refreshment whenever I needed a break and appreciating galleries and churches at my own pace. Never before had I been able to be this selfish or self-indulgent on a holiday. It was bliss.

And as for the travel arrangements, it was all a doddle. All I had to do was arrive at the Eurostar terminal on time that first day and from there on in the Italian speaking tour guide sorted tickets, transfers, hotel room keys, fast track city tours...everything.

And on the couple of occasions a train was cancelled or a hotel muddled up a room booking, the guide sorted it all while I had a coffee and let it be someone else’s problem. It was so much less stressful than travelling entirely independently. An

escorted group tour worked brilliantly in my circumstances and I would urge you not to dismiss it if you need a safe adventure.

But if that doesn’t sound like your thing then why not try something genuinely solo? My best friend (single, working hard and recovering from a nasty knee injury), took herself to Cuba for a week. She really enjoyed seeing the country before the tidal wave of international tourists hit and it lost its dilapidated, colourful charm, but she did so from the comfort and safety of a well known international hotel chain’s resort, letting them arrange a couple of excursions for her when she wanted to venture out. The majority of the week she relaxed in glorious Caribbean sunshine by an immaculate pool while drinking mojitos and reading books she didn’t have time to break the spines of in the UK. It was just what she needed and was entirely achievable on her own. Her only advice when she got back? Pick a good hotel with nice facilities, fly with a reputable airline in case of travel disruption, take plenty of books and don’t stay more than a week.

Everyone enjoys time to themselves but noone, however much they like the sound of their own voice, actually wants to listen to it exclusively after 7 days.

Alternatively, if neither of those trips take your fancy, there are any number of travel companies offering trips exclusively for singlies, with everyone in the group wanting to meet people, make friends (even just temporarily), and needing a single room. The Grand Canyon, a Texas ranch, Niagara Falls - just a few of the amazing locations on offer. Whether you like the mountains, big city or golden beaches, sunshine or snow, the world really is your oyster.

So, if you find yourself single, working hard and longing for a holiday, don’t despair.

Dig out your passport, search the internet and pay the single supplement. Your most satisfying and self-indulgent holiday could be only a few weeks away! Just a thought...

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Beaches 80

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By the time you read this, the United Kingdom will soon be basking in the heat of Summer! Before it goes back to grey skies and showers, pack up a bag and make a dash for one of the best stretches of sand the UK has to offer!

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1. Porthcurno, near Lands End Arguably one of the county’s most beautiful bays, Porthcurno beach is set beneath the clifftop Minack Theatre. A stream lies at the top of the beach which is perfect for children to paddle in, and the soft white sand is ideal for sandcastle building. At low tide you can walk along to other nearby beaches and sit on sandbars beneath the ancient cliff fort of Treryn Dinas. There are facilities available and there are lifeguards present during the Summer months.

4. West Wittering, Sussex West Wittering is a long, open stretch of sand overlooking the Solent and Chichester harbour. At low tide there are numerous rock pools to explore and paddle in, and the water is perfect for windsurfers.

A popular beach on hot days – get there early to bag a parking spot and avoid the queues.

2. Pentle Bay, Tresco, Isles of Scilly Bleach-white sand, emerald and turquoise ocean dotted with islands and (hopefully) an impossibly blue sky will greet you at Pentle Bay. It feels almost tropical, until you take a dip in the sea which, usually at 2 degrees cooler than the mainland, confirms you are actually still in Britain! This stretch of gorgeous sand is big enough that you can find a secluded spot even on busier days, it’s perfect for packing up a picnic and enjoying the views.

5. Botany Bay, Kent Once a hotspot for contraband, Botany Bay is said to have gotten its name from the fate of those who were caught smuggling, deportation to Botany Bay, Australia! Whilst there’s little chance of finding smuggled treasure here today, Botany Bay is the most northerly of Broadstairs’s beaches and perhaps the prettiest. This curve of sand is dramatically backed by white cliffs. Explore chalk stacks, rock pools and enjoy safe swimming. At low tide you can walk over to Joss Bay, Kent’s best surf beach.

6. Walberswick, Suffolk 3. Blackpool Sands, South Devon Located three miles south-west of Dartmouth, this beautiful shingle bay is tucked away behind wooded hills. Popular with families thanks to its clean and usually calm waters, it’s a great spot for swimming.

You can also hire kayaks and paddle boards, and the Venus café is right on the beach serving up fresh Devon crab.

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If you can get past the many children clutching crabbing lines and buckets on the bridge from the picturesque village of Walberswick, you will find an equally picturesque beach. It’s easy to see why this beach attracts so many artists and has been the subject of many paintings. With sandy dunes and a long stretch of empty sandy beach it’s a great place to take a long sandy evening stroll.

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7. Bamburgh, Northumberland On a clear day at Bamburgh beach you can see across to Lindisfarne and the Farne Islands. Overlooked by Bamburgh Castle this dunefringed stretch of beach has fantastic views, clear seas and huge sands. There is plenty of space for everyone – from families to dog walkers and horse riders. It has been voted one of the North-Easts best surf spots, whether you want to join in or just enjoy watching kite surfers perform daredevil leaps above the waves.

10. Portstewart Strand, Northern Ireland

8. Sandsend, Yorkshire The quieter and prettier beach of Sandsend is not as well-known as its famous neighbour, Whitby. Set against a background of grassy cliffs, this is a great beach for fossil hunting at low tide. There are lots of quaint little cafes and cosy pubs dotted nearby and ample parking is available nearby, although the walk from Whitby to Sandsend is easy and pleasant.

An ancient beach, hugged by dunes teaming with wildlife and waiting to be explored, Portstewart Strand is perfect all year round from wintery walks to summer sand castle competitions. Guided dune walks are available to book, which talk you through the wildlife that inhabit them. Dolphins are often spotted playing in the ocean here and boat tours can be taken for a closer look!

9. Lunan Bay, Scotland This stunning stretch of sand is overlooked by Red Castle, a crumbling 12th-century fortress. The beach is backed by dunes and is popular with bird watchers with several fantastic species to spot. The length of this beach makes it a favourite spot for horse riders, and the strong currents of the ocean makes it great for surfers but take care when swimming. It is one of the few places where traditional fishing is still practiced, with nets strung on poles and dug into the sand to trap fish in the receding tide. After a storm the beach takes on a magical sparkle, with semiprecious gemstones turned up by the sea waiting to be found.

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NATIONAL

The Top 10

something seems arduous, like the may be no end to it, then spikenard is the oil to choose.

Essential Oils for Anxiety Our sense of smell is connected to one of the most primitive parts of our brain. When we perceive a fragrance, details about the aroma are processed by the limbic system. The same area also modulates emotions and memories.

Aromatherapy plays a vital part in healing emotional disturbances.

Lavender I would recommend everyone to start with lavender. Constituents taken from the purple plant are now being used in several pharmaceutical medications because of their soothing qualities. Brain scans reveal that, when exposed to lavender oil, the left-hand side of the brain starts to exercise more power. A similar thing happens when people start to respond well to psychological treatments for General Anxiety Disorder.

It’s a powerful, yet gentle healer.

Lavender binds the GABA receptors, calming and stabilising the body. Simultaneously, it activates receptors that bind to the mood modulator serotonin.

Essential oils that interact with serotonin are similarly useful for people who experience stress related digestive problems. 90% of the body’s serotonin is found in the gut so digestion can be severely impacted by someone’s mood.

Camomile When I think of the personality of camomile, I always think of Doris Day. It almost seems to sing “Que sera sera ...whatever will be, will be.”

Physically, it soothes irritation, emotionally, it does the same.

If you notice stress causing skin breakouts, rashes, and particularly itchy flaky skin issues like eczema or psoriasis, camomile is fantastic.

Camomile is extremely gentle, so is simple to use on adults and children alike. Add a few drops to night-time baths, or blend into existing skin creams.

Essential oils have no side effects, but many main effects. This means you will often find overlaps between what they can do. Camomile also soothes digestion and cramping. As such, we also use it for period pains (along with Rose, Lavender, and Clary Sage), restless leg syndrome, colic and muscle tension.

Geranium Geranium maybe my favourite essential oil; it’s a first-aid kit in a bottle. Nourishing to the skin, balancing to the hormones and most of all, sensitive and uplifting,

I choose geranium if somebody comes to see me who is very worried about money.

It has profound connections with the way the mind processes financial issues.

Add eight drops to a bath to feel the world lift away from your shoulders.

It’s a beautiful calming and serene essential oil.

Vetiver My book about vetiver is subtitled “The Oil of Tranquillity”. It has been used for over 5000 years by Ayurvedic medicine to ground and bring serenity. Chinese medicine delights in its Yang energy, masculine, powerful, and active.

This is a very useful energy if someone is suffering from chronic stress, exhaustion and has run out of energy to fight. If you feel like you might be losing the battle, slipping under, then vetiver is an extremely helpful lifeline. Somehow, it leads you to the eye of the storm where, in the peace you can collect your thoughts, gather your strength, focus, and find a way forward.

Holy Basil Holy Basil and vetiver are opposites in Ayurveda. Where vetiver drags the energy down to make you feel more stable, Holy Basil takes the energy up, to calm you and instil peace.

So, where we would use vetiver if someone has lost their fight and simply sits, Holy Basil calms the pacing, the anxious ringing of the hands, and aggression. If you feel restless, then Holy Basil dials down anxious mental processing to bring about blesséd relief.

This is a priestly oil, sacred. But with a very feminine energy, perhaps we should say nun-like. It’s a very helpful oil to use if you feel disconnected and can no longer see the point any more. Holy Basil helps you remember the bigger picture.

Sweet Basil One of the most fascinating things about my job is seeing how plants from the same family can be so incredibly different. Holy and Sweet Basils are perfect examples of this.

In my book, I compare the energy of Sweet Basil to a Sergeant Major.

Sweet Basil is a kick up the jacksie.

She says “Get out of your head. Stop thinking about it. Make it happen.”

If anxiety is stopping you from moving forward in your life, Sweet Basil might be the jumpstart you need. Use this oil to break the cycle of fearful indecision.

It’s high in chemical constituent called linalool (so is lavender) which is a powerful antidepressant and anti-inflammatory. Very useful if you suffer from any pain syndromes such as fibromyalgia, and is particularly helpful for nerve pain.

Jasmine This one’s a bit expensive, because strictly speaking it’s not an essential oil, it’s an absolute. Because jasmine flowers are so tiny, they undergo an expensive extraction process. It’s worth every penny.

There is an Arabic saying that goes “If you have Jasmine, there will be no worries.” I agree. That said, it has seductive qualities. It is sensuous, aphrodisiac and beguiling, so if you feel alone and lonely, then this might not be the best oil for you. But, if relationships are difficult when the family comes back together after a time apart, this is a beautifully bonding and healing oil. Instilling balance, it is soft and reassuring.

Valerian On the positive side this is the most sedative oil I know. In clinical trials, it outstrips every other oil for helping sleep. Working on the benzodiazepine receptors, it has a similar action to Valium. It is sedative and pacifying.

On the down side, it smells like a combination of wet dog with dirty feet!

This would be the oil I would choose if someone was suffering from shock. It has that “Stop the world. I want to get off!” quality.

Where vetiver is sedative, it restores, so you can get on with your life.

Valerian dictates you stop, right now.

Spikenard As I write this, I wonder if this might be the oil I should have put at the top of the list given my readership here. Spikenard has emotional pain killing qualities, particularly for situations that are long and protracted. I use this oil for illnesses that are chronic and lingering. If

My book about spikenard traces the journey of the plant back to Biblical times because it is reputed to have been the oil Mary of Bethany used to anoint Christ’s feet. The book was as much about proving whether that was a realistic claim as understanding the properties of the plant. It does seem likely it was.

Spikenard is a very precious plant, growing on the very highest mountaintops in Nepal. Even from antiquity, it would have cost a small fortune.

It was a precious gift. But, it shows a deep understanding of the plant medicine of the time because if one of my friends were to be crucified I would want them to have spikenard too.

It says trust because is nothing else you can do.

Trust that this is your destiny and it is how things are supposed to be. Have faith and hand those anxieties over to me. Those final words of Christ on the cross “Into thine arms, o Lord, I commit my spirit” shows the deep calm and resilience of spikenard medicine.

Yarrow Yarrow’s Latin name Achille millefolium betrays the Roman Association with the Greek hero Achilles. The warrior had only one weak spot: the tip of his heel his mother had to held when she dipped him in the river Styx to make him invulnerable, hence the term Achilles heel-our weakness where the water could not protect us...

Yarrow finds and protects that weakness.

It is known as The Great Healer since the flowers could often could be found growing ready to use by the sides of battle grounds.

If you buy the essential oil, you’ll notice it is blue.

The plant has white flowers, but in distillation, chemical changes create a blue constituent, chamazulene. A liquid anaesthetic for physical and emotional pain.

If it stings, aches or hurts, Yarrow soothes it.

But it slows, it winds down, so if you are already exhausted and failing, Basil or vetiver would be better choices.

Ways to Use Essential Oils In the bath all of these oils would be safe in the bath. For an adult use 5 to 10 drops. For children, use just 2 to 3. Do not use essential oils on children under the age of six months.

In creams and lotions we blend to a maximum dilution of 3%. This means in a tablespoon of oil, or cream, you would need just 2 to 3 drops of essential oil.

In a diffuser add just two or three drops to fragrance the room and affect your emotions via the brain.

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Unlock Your Healing Potential

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CITIES A TO Z

Naples

For a quick city break there’s no better place to fly off to than Naples. One of Europe’s oldest cities, Naples is rich in history, beauty and culture. A place where modern life and history clash on every street, it is the perfect place to spend a weekend exploring. Here’s our top 5 things to do when spending the weekend visiting!

1.Visit The Museo Archeologico Nazionale The Museo Archeologico Nazionale holds the world’s finest collection of antiquities, many of which were brought here from early excavations of Pompeii, the ancient Roman city that was destroyed by an eruption of Mount Vesuvius in AD 79.

The museum is huge so wear comfortable shoes and expect to spend a good 2-3 hours

minimum wandering around and taking it all in. This museum is hugely popular with tourists and the queues for tickets to enter can get long, so get there as early as you can to avoid a wait. Renting the audio guide to talk you through everything there is to see is a great idea if you want to hear the stories and history behind many of the exhibits.

2. Confront your immortality at Fontanelle Cemetery Nepals is a city that doesn’t shy away from life’s inevitable end. A visit to The Fontanelle Cemetery, or Cimitero delle Fontanelle is a humbling experience. The offloading of temporarily buried remains into this cave on the outskirts of town began during the Spanish occupation of Naples in the 1500s, but the majority of its 40,000 residents came from the devastating plague outbreak of 1656 and smaller cholera epidemics in the 1830s. The 1656 plague arrived in January and by August claimed the lives of an estimated 150,000 people,

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or half the population of Naples. It took generations for the city to recover from the effects of the outbreak, and the victims died and were buried (or tossed into a cave) under the most chaotic of circumstances, often without last rites and almost always without any grave marker.

According to tradition, being laid to rest away from the consecrated soil of their parish church rendered the souls unable to reach heaven, and the site was soon believed to be haunted and was avoided.

Over time, the ossuary became so crowded with haphazardly stacked bones and bodies, that at one point during a heavy rainfall the city was inundated by a flood of skulls and bones. Then, in 1872, Father Gaetano Barbati began the enormous task of cataloguing and organizing the anonymous remains and encouraged the local community to pitch in and help with the task. The bones remained unburied, but were sorted and placed on shelves and racks, in boxes or crypts.

As the remains were sorted, volunteers would pray for the deceased as they worked, which was the beginning of one of Naples most unusual traditions. Named as ‘The Cult of The Dead’, the women who cared for the skulls would name them with names that would come to them in dreams. They would roll up wishes written on paper and place them in the eye sockets and give the skulls gifts of jewellery, flowers and even coins and ask for favours in return.

Devotion to the skulls still exists today, and local women can often be spotted making their way to the ossuary with their offerings, and they will usually happily add your wishes to these too if you ask them!

3. Eat like a local You cannot come to Naples without eating a pizza.. or five! Naples invented pizza and you will find it around every corner of the city bubbling away in wood-fired ovens.

The quality of the pizza is taken incredibly seriously and there are even rules on how

it can be made. Perhaps the most famous of Naples pizzerias is L’Antica Pizzaeria da Michele which dates back to the late 1800’s. The simple restaurant only serves the traditional margherita and marinara, and was featured in the film ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ which goes some way to explain why the queues go out the door and around the block. It is well worth the wait and your taste buds will thank you for it, especially at only 6 euros!

If you get tired of pizza, make sure you sample some of the other culinary delights on offer in Naples. Don’t fall into the tourist traps though, and instead head for the restaurants popular with the locals.

Classic Neapolitan pasta dishes include seafood – spaghetti alle vongole and risotto alla pescatora are typical. Other famous local pasta recipes include pasta e patate (pasta and potato soup), timballo (pasta pie), gnocchi alla sorrentina (potato dumplings baked in tomato sauce and mozzarella) and pasta e fagioli (pasta and bean soup).

Italians from any region will tell you there is nothing like Neapolitan pastries. The pastries most synonymous with Naples are the intricate shell-shaped sfogliatelle, made of dozens of layers of delicate pastry and the rum-soaked baba, a Neapolitan twist on the German cake known as kugelhupf. Pastrylovers should head immediately to the continued over page >>

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young and trendy folk spilling out of them and filling it to the brim. The communal atmosphere, where everyone comes together and mingles means that you’ll find it almost impossible not to make new friends.

Nightlife in Naples is vibrant, and there are bars and nightclubs to suit all tastes. Trip, one of the best loved nightclubs by the locals, often holds themed evenings which are taken very seriously by its clientele, you could find yourself surrounded by vampires or people in 19th century attire!

Not every night is themed but the place has an elegant and chic atmosphere that is hard not to love. Lanifico 25 is another hot spot not to be missed by night owls. This surprising place is housed in an old wool factory. With DJ nights, contemporary art exhibitions, theatre performances and a bar, it’s much more than just a club. In addition to being a fun nightlife spot, it gives you the opportunity to taste exquisite cocktails, fantastic craft beer and tasty appetisers in a truly inimitable setting.

For a night at the beach, head to Nabilah.

Set in a sensational location and host to concerts, pool parties and international DJs, Nabilah is one of the coolest and most charming summer beach clubs in Southern Italy. The club is both romantic and atmospheric, and it’s hard to find another place like it! It’s not easily accessible by

Galleria Umberto, home to two of Naples’s most revered pastry shops. Whatever you try, theres no better way to end a Neapolitan meal than by a thimbleful of Limoncello or a cup of Neapolitan coffee.

4. Start your night at 10pm If you’re looking for Neapolitan culture by night, then you need to head to Piazza Bellini. Bars line the square and you’ll find

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public transport so hiring a taxi or renting a car is a must to get there. If dancing and drinking aren’t on your agenda there are heaps of late night coffee shops and patisseries to sit back at and people watch.

5.Visit Pompeii Mount Vesuvius looms large over Naples and for an impressive and terrifying reminder that human kind has always been at the mercy of Mother Nature the archaeological sites on its slopes are a mustvisit. In A.D 79 Mount Vesuvius erupted and completely destroyed the ancient roman city in a thick carpet of volcanic ash. The volcano started by sending a mushroom cloud of ash, dust and rocks 12 miles into

the sky, followed by 18 hours of spewing ash over the surrounding towns and cities. Most of Pompeii’s 20,000 residents fled as roofs and floors began collapsing. Suddenly though, the eruption changed and an avalanche of red hot ash and rock came down the mountainside at almost 100 miles per hour, killing around two thousand people and the city was abandoned for almost as many years.

When a group of explorers rediscovered the site in 1748, they were surprised to find that underneath a thick layer of dust and debris Pompeii was mostly intact. The ash had preserved the town so well that later scientists even uncovered jars of fruit and loaves of bread. Pompeii is famous for the people and animals that were buried under the hot ash. As the ash hardened, it moulded itself to those who had died and whilst the bodies inside deteriorated, the shells of these unusual statues were left and later carefully filled with plaster, capturing the peoples last moments.

Whilst Pompeii is the most well-known site, Herculaneum which is close by is said to be better preserved and is worth the 20 min taxi journey over. These sites still attract huge numbers of visitors every year, and ongoing excavations of the once booming city of Pompeii now offer us the best look at ancient Roman life, and you can even step into the House of Vetti, one of the best preserved dwellings in Pompeii. If it’s open you can step inside the atrium and have a peek at a typical layout of a mansion. The entry fee to get into the site is 15 euro.

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Supporting the Unsung Hero’ business boom The University of Wolverhampton’s businessstart up programme, ‘Supporting the Unsung Hero’, is helping spouses and dependants’ of serving Armed Forces personnel, Veterans and Reservists realise their ambition to start-up and grow a successful business.

‘Supporting the Unsung Hero’ is a tailored business programme designed to meet the needs of Armed Forces families, and was one of the original bids to the £35 million LIBOR fund.

Since then, the course and mentoring programme has been in high demand having already been attended by 520 delegates with 740 expected to complete the programme by 2021. HSBC bank recently announced it will continue to sponsor the programme enabling the delivery team at the University of Wolverhampton and Black Country Chamber of Commerce to further expand on the already award winning programme.

work together and share their skills to develop new products and services.

Sarah Walker, ‘Supporting the Unsung Hero’ Project Manager and Lead Trainer, says: “We are proud to be leading this programme and are very grateful to HSBC for continuing to fund the venture which forms an integral part of our range of opportunities for those who are currently serving in the Armed Forces their families and Veterans. This programme has the potential to create in excess of 700 new business start-ups by the end of 2021, significantly boosting our economy on a local and national scale.”

Once enrolled on the course participants also benefit from a closed online forum to encourage peer support and interaction with other delegates.

Some members have started local business networking groups and have formed alliances to

Who can apply for the programme?

The programme is open to a spouse or dependant (over the age of 16) of a Service person, Veteran or Reservist.

We are also pleased to announce that we now accept applications from Armed Forces Veterans.

How long does the programme last?

Each Cohort will run for 10 months including 4 days of class based training with an experienced team of business advisers and dedicated one to one mentoring delivered either in person or virtually.

When does the programme start?

There are a range of start dates for each cohort to fit your requirements, contact the SUH team to find out the best course date and location to suit the individual.

Is there a fee to attend the programme?

There is no cost to participate in the programme as funding has been provided by the Armed Forces Covenant (LIBOR) Fund and the HSBC Bank (travel, accommodation and expenses incurred are not included).

What type of business can delegates set up?

The type of business set up is entirely up to the individual and could range from professional business consultancy, crafts and handmade gifts, bespoke art, catering services or personal fitness instructors. Participants may have a couple of business ideas and wish to use the course to explore each option or may not have a specific business in mind but wish to understand the basic principles of business start-up and gain inspiration from others.

Can delegates set up a joint business with a family member or friend?

Yes, delegates can set up a joint business with a family member or friend/s although only the eligible Spouse, Dependant or Veteran can attend the training course.

Can those already running a business apply?

Yes, delegates may still participate in the programme if already running a business in its infancy or need to develop their understanding of basic business management.

Courses are run throughout the UK at MOD bases from Scotland to Portsmouth and overseas in Cyprus, Belgium, Germany and Gibraltar.

Mentoring and seminars are also delivered on-line via Skype or Facebook to make the course as accessible as possible and to allow for service mobility and family commitments.

Delegates are offered a dedicated four-day business start-up training course, where they will learn and develop the skills required to run a business and understand their legal, financial and tax obligations, basic record keeping, marketing and how to write that all important business plan.

‘Supporting the Unsung Hero’ FAQ’s

Sally Wagstaff, a former Nurse in the Royal Navy and military spouse, enrolled on the first programme in October 2013. Since completing the course she has opened a state-of-the-art laser hair removal clinic in Lichfield and has since built on her success, opening a further salon at Aston Wood Golf and Country Club.

She says: “I simply wouldn’t have started my business without the Supporting the Unsung Hero Business programme. The course has been so important, from giving me the confidence to launch to teaching me the skills to run and importantly grow my business. I recommend the programme highly.”

Sarah Walker, Project Manager, said, “There is no end to the talent and resources within the Armed Forces community. As we enter the fourth year of the programme we hope to deliver in new locations such as Gibraltar to enable as many service spouses to access the course as possible, especially those who are in remote locations or overseas. ”

Who will be mentoring programme delegates?

We are a team of friendly business experts from the University of Wolverhampton’s Business Solutions Centre.

Participants are assigned an individual mentor for the duration of the programme. Once enrolled delegates will also be able to access a closed Facebook page which has proven to be a great source of peer-to-peer support.

Are the training and mentoring sessions flexible?

The dates of the four-day courses and group mentoring sessions are fixed. Individual mentoring sessions are flexible and can be delivered via Skype, phone or face to face.

Are delegates obliged to set up a business by the end of the programme?

There is no obligation to set up a business by the end of the programme, but ideally those who have completed the course will have a business up and running, as this is the aim of the programme.

What will delegates achieve at the end of the programme?

Participants will have all the tools and information required to kick-start their business. A certificate will also be awarded to demonstrate successful completion of the course and will become members of a unique group of like-minded people from the military community.

If you have a business idea and need the skills and support to launch or you want to find out if running a business could be an opportunity for you contact the ‘Supporting the Unsung Hero’ team: Telephone: 01902 321 272 Email: suh@wlv.ac.uk Website: wlv.ac.uk/supportingtheunsunghero

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NATIONAL

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Julie’s areas of exper se include: Psychic Mediumship, Past Life Sessions, Energy Clearing, Rela onship Guidance, Healing Session, Spiritual Counselling, Life Coaching. Please contact Julie Smyth using the channels below to book your free consulta on or session. If you need any help please don’t hesitate in contac ng Julie with any ques ons.

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