NEWS OF THE WEIRD BANG A GONG Scientists are aghast at an eBay listing offering a rare baby T-rex fossil for a $2.95 million buy-it-now price. Fossil-hunter Alan Detrich, who discovered the fossil in 2013, is thought to have created the offer in February for the 68-million-year-old artifact, which had been on loan to University of Kansas’ Natural History Museum. CNBC reported the baby is 15 feet long with a 21-inch skull and serrated teeth; Detrich estimates it’s about four years old. The Society of Vertebrate Paleontology is concerned “the fossil, which represents a unique part of life’s past, may be lost from the public trust. ... Only casts and other replicas of vertebrate fossils should be traded, not the fossils themselves.” THE NEKKID MEN EPIDEMIC PT. I Around 8:30 p.m. April 10, things got interesting at an Eau Claire, Wisconsin, Walmart. Lisa Smith, 46, entered the store with her unleashed dog, Bo, according to police, and as Bo distracted shoppers and store staff, Smith pulled apart store displays and put them in her cart. Asked by workers to leave, Smith went to the parking lot and started practicing karate moves. Bo grabbed a box of Jiffy Cornbread Muffin Mix and tried to leave the store. Meanwhile, Smith’s son, Benny Vann, 25, had gone to the back of the store, and stripped naked, exposing himself to shoppers. He grabbed clothes from racks, then tried to run over cops with his scooter. WHO TV reported Smith was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and misdemeanor bail jumping. Vann was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, disorderly conduct and retail theft. Cops said Bo got a warning for filching the muffin mix. WE WOULDA USED A SLEDGEHAMMER, PT. II In Cary, North Carolina, Wake County Deputy J. Rattelade, responding to a report of a car crash on April 5, found one driver, Derwood Johnson, 36, of Fort Worth, had gotten out of his car and removed all his clothes, then began to walk across the street. As Rattelade tried to arrest him, Johnson hit her on the head, reported WTVD. With other first responders’ help and pepper spray, Rattelade subdued Johnson. The charge? Assault on a government official. Rattelade wasn’t hurt; Johnson went to a hospital for further evaluation. MOSEYING, PT. III On April 13, a Newtown, Connecticut, family returned from a morning shopping trip to find Joseph Achenbach, 35, wandering around in their home, naked. The Watertown man had crashed his SUV in their backyard and moseyed in via an unlocked
DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by
glass door. Achenbach’s clothes weren’t found on the scene, leading police to believe he was naked when he crashed. FOX61 reported he was charged with second-degree criminal trespassing and driving while intoxicated.
CAFFEINE JONEZ Crossville, Tennessee, police officers pulled over Sally Selby, 45, at 5 a.m. April 5 as she drove Highway 127 in the slow lane on a Walmart mobility scooter. She was going to Waffle House, she said, to buy a cup of coffee. WTVF reported Selby first told cops she’d built the scooter, but Walmart confirmed it was one of theirs; they had surveillance video of Selby driving the scooter out of the store to back them up. She was arrested for theft. WOULDN’T THE AREA CODE BEEN A CLUE? When the Wilkinson School in El Granada, California, got a bomb threat on April 11, administrators emptied the building of staff and students pronto. But law officers searching the grounds found nothing—because the threatening phone call actually came from 2,100 miles away, in Woodville, Mississippi. That’s where a 15-yearold student intended to threaten her own Wilkinson County High School, reported The San Jose Mercury News, but didn’t check her Google search carefully before dialing. HEY! IT’S A FAUX FOX! A woman in Devon, England, called authorities on April 8 to report a fox she’d been watching hadn’t moved for days, reported Fox News. Ellie Burt, a Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty of Animals officer, suggested the “broom test,” which didn’t make the fox stir, but Burt was told it “tracked them with its eyes and seemed to be breathing well.” Burt arrived and quickly sussed it out: The fox was fake, “stuffed by a taxidermist. He’d been put under a bush outside the houses as a prank,” Burt said. “Someone had been moving it around the neighborhood.” Burt discarded the fox “to avoid any further calls.” NOT MY APRIL ’72 COSMO! A 40-year-old man in Muncie, Indiana, is suing his parents for trashing his stash of porn videos and magazines, which he estimates was worth $29,000. The Associated Press said he’d been living with his parents for 10 months after a divorce. Then he bought a house, and his parents delivered his stuff, minus 12 boxes of porn. The ’rents admitted dumping the collection; in an email quoted by the lawsuit, the father told his son, “I did you a big favor by getting rid of all this stuff.” The son seeks $87,000 in financial damages. weirdnewstips@amuniversal.com
Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society
San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741
Ponte Vedra
THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA
330 A1A North 280-1202
Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406
Voted Best Jeweler in FW's Best of Jax readers' poll!
FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1
2
3
4
5
6
14
15
17
18
23 28
10
11
44
25
42 46
64
52
54 58
59
60
61
62
67
66
68
69
70
71
72
73
ACROSS 1 Broadway hit 6 What did ewe say? 9 Break to bits 14 Bear type 15 Curse/blessing for TV’s Monk 16 Heart line 17 Jackson predecessor 18 Nimnicht brand 20 Betting setting 21 Like a marsh view 22 Be in debt 23 ___ vera 25 Make the cut 27 Forty winks 30 Grinding 35 Lennon lady 36 Polo, e.g. 38 Back biter 39 Credit a source 41 1994 Offspring album 43 ___ mater 44 Rolex rival 46 WJCT’s Downton ___ 48 Figure out 49 Workout class 51 “Enough!” 53 Turf
63
48
51
53 57
34
43 47
50
56
32 38
41
49
33
26
31
37
45
13
19
30
40
12
16
24
36
39
65
9
22
29
35
55
8
21
20
27
7
54 Generous words 55 NATO nation 58 Louisiana university 61 Excavates 65 Star with an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony 67 Shrek’s love 68 Easter treats 69 GPS display 70 Florida Ballet attire 71 Table tennis shot 72 Ex-City Council president Davis 73 Local Ping Pong bar & restaurant DOWN 1 Sail pole 2 Pie à la ___ 3 NASA’s Shepard 4 Pago Pago person 5 Many mins. 6 Lawn bowling 7 Sore spot 8 Arabian gulf 9 Caustic wit 10 Gustafson Dairy Farm sound 11 A Guthrie 12 One-dish meal
13 19 21 24 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 37 40 42 45
47 50 52 54 55 56
Love antithesis Travel pass Underclassmen ___ Palmas “Hold your horses!” Beach in Florida Manga kin Caddie, e.g. Snatches Crashinvestigation org. “Send me!” Finger pointer Shred cheese Apple offering Self-images Hair dye Get rid of
57 59 60 62 63 64 66 67
___ Kippur Wedding vows Al’s Pizza order Days of yore Mail letters Kuhn Flowers stalk Jacksonville’s is 874 sq. mi. TIAA Bank Field measure Aware of Tiny bit Safari sights Miss Florida accessory Mini-CDs UNF basketball stats
SOLUTION TO 4.17.19 PUZZLE S W A P S O U R N E R O S A V I P E P S O B L O M A A E T T U S E E S B H A P C O L O O H A R M O N T
S P I E T K E I N G G O A W O A P Y R A H
O L D H A T
T A L E
E Y E D
A E R O
V E G R P B A S
S T E P L O M A O N E E R P I O R T A H T E E R
C H E A P
L E A N T O S
A N T E
R E N P O S A R H Y T A H D A I C N A G I
W S R Y I N T S W A R M
O N R Y E
Y E D N O S T
APRIL 24-30, 2019 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 43