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9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 • Fax: 904.260.9773

hip Southworth broke the law. He knows that. He knew exactly what he was doing, painting over all those ugly-ass traffic control boxes in San Marco with (sometimes) politically charged homages to the late, great New York City street artist Keith Haring. Art exists to provoke, after all. So in that sense, and as much as I like and respect Southworth both as a person and an artist (less his Haring homages than his other work, to be honest), it’s hard to think of him as some kind of martyr. Of course the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office — not the agency best suited to distinguishing artistry from vandalism — was going to arrest him. The JSO had been telegraphing that for months [Cover Story, “Who’s Afraid of Keith Haring’s Ghost?” Jeffrey C. Billman, Jan. 14]. Still, last week’s arrest caught Southworth by surprise. The last he’d heard, the city was working on a way to let him do his thing, and he hadn’t done any work as the Ghost since December. So he figured the heat was off. But then, at 9:45 last Tuesday morning, the cops pounded on his door, collected a bunch of his stuff as evidence — art supplies, the jacket and shirt and bandana he wore in photos that accompanied stories about him, even his cell phone — and put him in handcuffs. His mugshot made the local media rounds, and soon after, my Facebook wall was lit up with pleas to #freekeithharingsghost. Southworth’s lawyer, John Phillips, emailed that while they wouldn’t be talking to the press, Southworth’s “arrest and Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office’s further ‘social media campaign,’ including trying the case in social media and posting his mugshot, is irresponsible, if not unjust.” (On March 19, under the headline “Graffiti Vandal Unmasked,” the JSO posted Southworth’s mugshot on its Facebook page, and said that the estimated amount of damage he’d done to the 11 boxes he’d painted totaled $1,100. The very first comment read: “You guys look like a bunch of assholes spending your time and our money on this.”) David DeCamp, Mayor Alvin Brown’s communications director, told me last week that the city didn’t initiate the investigation or ask JSO to arrest Southworth. Nor is the city bothered by the concept of public art or even Southworth’s subject matter. Rather, the city’s concerns are pragmatic: Certain paints can cause the boxes to overheat, especially in summer. “Taxpayers paid for these things,” he says. “We’ve got to make sure their primary purpose functions.” Provided the logistics can be worked out, the city wants to “talk about a way to do something cool,” DeCamp says, both on these utility boxes and throughout the urban core. This sort of thing has been done elsewhere: Orlando, for instance, has undertaken an ambitious public art project, including murals and paintings on its utility boxes, that has attracted world-class artists. There’s no reason Jacksonville couldn’t do the same. If there’s anything good that comes from Southworth being charged with criminal mischief, a felony (really?), it’s this: We now have a full-throttle and much-needed conversation about public art. As one gallery owner told the Times-Union, “I like what Chip is doing because he’s making people talk.” Chip isn’t a martyr. He is, however, a provocateur. This city needs more of those.  Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman

MAIL Restored Interest

I clipped “On Courage” [Editor’s Note, Jeffrey C. Billman, March 12] because I thought it was so good. Next I enjoyed “The Perpetual Cusp” [News Buzz, March 12] and noticed your name again. It’s been a long while since I picked up a Folio Weekly, but these two articles have restored my interest in the weekly read. I gather you are new to Jacksonville, so I say welcome, and keep up the good work! Beverly Chapman

Don’t Blink

Welcome to Jacksonv... Sorry about the unfinished name — budget cuts, you know. I read your editorial this week [“On Courage”]. I have to say that your perception of our political/fiscal situation is pretty darn keen, especially for a noob. Keep looking into it, but steel yourself and don’t blink. Jim Minion

Struck a Nerve

Good morning: Just a quick note to say “welcome to Jax” and to thank you for your spot-on editorial this week [“On Courage”]. It is definitely making the rounds via email, so you have struck a nerve. Thank you. Audrey Moran

A More Credible Mayor

I found your article [“On Courage”] interesting, seeing that it seems to be the consensus as of late regarding Mayor Brown’s performance. After hearing him speak at two consecutive MLK events, I reached out to his office to advise him on several issues

to present himself more credible and at least attempt to revitalize and restore the image of him being worthy for his position. I also advised his new special assistant, former news reporter Angela Spears, to pick up Folio Weekly and take a look at your Editor’s Note as well as show it to Mayor Brown. I advised her to impart to the mayor that if indeed it is his desire to resume his position, changes need to be made. I understand you are new to the city; however, your article was insightful. So I am compelled to ask: in your opinion, do you think there is anything Mayor Brown could do to regain the favorable position he held at the onset of his being elected as mayor? Lisa Acker

On Her Tombstone

Thank you for taking the time to look at my artwork and write about it in Folio Weekly [Our Picks, Jan. 1]. I literally looked up in the dictionary each word you linked to my work so I could savor the meanings and synonyms. I will forever keep what you wrote and read it anytime I need encouragement or wonder if anyone “gets” who I am as an artist or what my work is about. Also, I told my family that they may etch your words on my tombstone — not kidding.  Lisa O’Neil If you would like to respond to something that appeared in Folio Weekly, please send an email with your address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to We reserve the right to edit letters for grammar, clarity and space.

© 2014


AN OPEN WOUND: Walter Carl Stevens (left) and Charles Lovett, the respective grandson and brother of Johnnie Mae Chappell, hold candles at a March 23 vigil commemorating the 50th anniversary of her murder. Chappell was killed by a single bullet fired from a passing car. While an all-white jury found the shooter, J.W. Rich, guilty of manslaughter – he was sentenced to three years behind bars – the state attorney inexplicably dropped charges against the other three men who were in the car, even though all four had been indicted on first-degree murder charges and three had confessed. “I’m still seeking justice for my mother,” says Shelton Chappell, Johnnie Mae’s son. Additional reporting by Susan Cooper Eastman.

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NEWS BUZZ Very Good Friends

There are few things nearer and dearer to our hearts than the hop water of the gods — especially the stuff brewed in small batches with tender loving care and attention to detail, not so much the heathen mass-market swill. And so when we find these forces and light and dark collide in mortal(ish) combat in Tallahassee, and given the bonanza of excellent breweries within a cab ride of Folio Weekly World Headquarters, we feel compelled to point it out. There is an eminently reasonable effort in the Legislature to allow craft breweries to fill and sell growlers, those refillable halfgallon containers that craft brewers sell all over the country but can’t here for reasons that surpass understanding. And not just our understanding: Senate President Don Gaetz, for example, has admitted (publicly, to reporters who were taking notes!) that he doesn’t know why growlers are illegal — but before he agrees to make them legal, he’ll have to ask his “very good friend” at Anheuser-Busch what he thinks. Seriously. Check out this what-the-holycrap line from a March 16 Associated Press story: “Gaetz acknowledged he will support whatever Anheuser-Busch InBev distributor Lewis Bear tells him to support.” At least he’s being honest. Bear and his companies, you see, shower their largesse upon Florida politicians, and he’s not fond of this whole free-market competition thing. (The other mass-market beer company, MillerCoors, is fine with growlers. Bully for them, but you still couldn’t pay us to crack a Silver Bullet.) In exchange for legalizing half-gallon growlers, Bear is demanding that the Legislature ban (currently legal) full-gallon containers; prohibit brewers from selling bottles, cans and kegs in their own brewery; forbid breweries from also opening wineries (also now legal); and block them from collaborating with other brewers on new beers or having guest taps from which they sell other brewers’ products. Here’s the good news: On Monday afternoon, HB 1329 — which is, as the good folks at Intuition Ale Works panic-blasted their email list last week, “AWFUL for the craft beer industry” — was rejected by the House Business and Professional Regulation Committee. Less-good news: Similar legislation is still alive and kicking in the Senate. We’ll keep you posted.

Access Granted

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Last week, this esteemed publication told you about the Jacksonville Small and Emerging Business (JSEB) program and how some black and women contractors said it hadn’t helped them access city contracts — and how the city didn’t really care about that because the program was race- and gender-neutral and inclusion goals weren’t really a priority anyway [News, “The Usual Suspects,” Susan Cooper Eastman, March 19]. We also told you about the new disparity study by Mason Tillman Associates, which looked at not just city contracts but contracts from all of Duval County’s governmental agencies (which is why the city says you shouldn’t draw too many conclusions about the JSEB’s success from that report). As it turns out, while the city seems cool with the status quo, Duval County Public Schools might not be. After our magazine went to press, we heard from School District

Professional Standards

spokeswoman Tia Ford, who told us that the Mason Tillman study reinforced what the District already knows — that minority- and women-owned businesses are underutilized. Moreover, DCPS is considering Mason Tillman’s recommendation to penalize prime contractors that fail to meet diversity participation goals. “There are a number of recommendations being considered as a result of the disparity study that could possibly enhance and improve the way contracts are awarded to minority business enterprises (MBE) and women business enterprises (WBE),” Ford told us in an email. “… We are always looking to strengthen our efforts in MBE participation.” In addition, the School Board recently approved a contract for grounds maintenance that only minority-owned businesses could bid on, which alone nearly doubled minority-owned businesses’ participation in School District contracts, raising it from 17 to 30 percent.

Finally, we’d like to draw your attention to St. Johns County, and particularly its sheriff ’s office, which last November The New York Times flayed alive for its investigation into the death of Deputy Jeremy Banks’ girlfriend, in which the sheriff ’s office quickly (and without so much as considering the possibility of domestic violence, because, you know, blue code) determined that the girlfriend committed suicide. Later, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement found two witnesses who heard a woman screaming for help, then gunshots, which prompted the medical examiner and the crime reconstruction expert to rule it a homicide. But after a special prosecutor decided there wasn’t sufficient evidence to charge Banks — even though the FDLE sought a private inquest — Sheriff David B. Shoar called it a day. (Banks has since sued FDLE agent Rusty Ray Rodgers, alleging misconduct.) The Times found “that the investigation was mishandled from the start … . Because detectives concluded so quickly that the shooting was a suicide, investigators failed to perform the police work that is standard in suspicious shootings.” We also learned from that story that the sheriff ’s office has a history of looking the other way when its deputies are accused of domestic violence. With that in mind, the St. Johns County Sheriff ’s Office, outstanding law enforcement body that it is, is now seeking accreditation by the Commission on Accreditation for Law Enforcement Agencies, a sign that it adheres to the most rigorous professional standards. If, for whatever reason, you feel compelled to comment on the sheriff ’s office’s professionalism, you may do so by calling 209-1520 between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. on April 2, or by attending a public information session at 6 p.m. on April 3 at the Sheriff ’s Office Communications Building, 445 Avenue A, St. Augustine.  Jeffrey C. Billman and Susan Cooper Eastman


BIG MIGRATION: Marcella Matthaei keeps a replica of a right whale with her to remind her of the plight of the endangered sea mammal, whose spawning grounds are off Florida’s coast.  Photos: Dennis Ho

SAVE THE WHALES! No, really, that’s what this story’s about — saving endangered right whales (and other marine mammals) from Big Oil


n Feb. 2, Crescent Beach environmental activist Marcella Matthaei got a call that a North Atlantic right whale — among the rarest of large whales, right whales are recognizable by their gigantic heads and blubbery black bodies — had been spotted swimming north. She grabbed binoculars and stationed herself on a friend’s oceanfront deck just in time to see a mother and her calf surface and expel a blast of breath through their blowholes as they swam together offshore. “My heart swelled,” says Matthaei. “There used to be hundreds and thousands of them, so many that whalers would say they could walk across the ocean on their backs. And now we are down to less than 400. To see these incredible creatures after how many millions of years, still giving birth, still trying to survive, still alive, it was just amazing.” There are so few right whales alive right now, in fact, that each of them has been assigned a number and a name. The whale Matthaei spotted is No. 2503 and known as “Boomerang.” Though it’s a rare

occurrence to see one, the endangered right whale migrates from the Atlantic Coast off Canada and New England down the Eastern Seaboard to winter in Florida, where they give birth and calve their young. (The North Pacific right whale is even more rare, with an estimated population of about 50.) Protecting these whales, which were hunted almost to extinction for their blubber and whale oil, is one reason that Northeast Floridians should become aware of a plan moving through the federal government to permit seismic air-gun testing for oil and gas deposits in the Atlantic Ocean, from the mouth of the Delaware River along New Jersey south to Cape Canaveral. The testing involves shooting air-gun blasts — a sound similar to dynamite explosions — every 10 seconds, 24 hours a day, for weeks or perhaps months at a time in order to locate pockets of oil and gas in the Outer Continental Shelf. The volume of noise produced by the air guns has been described as 100,000 times louder than a jet engine, and environmentalists

“They seem to have spill amnesia, and they continue to do the same things that will get us into another mess.”

MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 7

NEWS fear it may kill or injure marine mammals and other creatures in the testing area — including the right whale — frightening them, damaging their hearing, disrupting their breeding, feeding and calving grounds, disorienting them and interfering with their communications. A final environmental impact statement by the Bureau of Ocean Energy Management (BOEM) predicts that the seismic testing might indeed cause exactly the damage environmentalists fear — an estimated 138,500 whales, dolphins and other marine mammals will be affected — but considers this impact “moderate.” “The whole concept is just preposterous,” says Matthaei. “It’s going to disrupt everything in the ocean.” The public has until April 7 to comment on the report. If the seismic testing is approved this summer, the next stage would be the issuing of permits. At least eight companies have applied for permits to conduct seismic testing, but no offshore oil drilling could occur until at least 2017, when a federal ban on offshore drilling in the Atlantic is scheduled to expire. To protect the right whale and sea turtles nesting on Florida beaches, BOEM recommends shutting down the testing off Florida from November through April (the right whale’s calving season). In addition, the Bureau wants to prohibit testing along the right whale’s migration route, and prohibit seismic tests off the coast of Brevard County during turtle nesting season, from May through October. Nancy Sopko, ocean advocate of the conservation group Oceana, doesn’t believe those protections will be adequate — in no small part because of where seismic testing leads: offshore drilling. “Why are we even thinking of expanding

oil drilling in the Atlantic when we’ve seen its detrimental effects in the Gulf of Mexico?” she asks. “Congress has done nothing in order to ensure another Deepwater Horizon doesn’t happen in the Gulf or elsewhere. They’ve passed no law to make drilling safer. They seem to have spill amnesia, and they continue to do the same things that will get us into another mess.” In support of the testing, the oil industry and Florida business associations have voiced the usual arguments: energy independence and national security, but especially the promise of jobs and lucre. “We can create more jobs and generate more revenue if allowed to responsibly develop and produce — here in the United States — more of the oil and natural gas we need,” Chris Verlander, president of corporate development for the Associated Industries of Florida, told the BOEM in 2012. Neil Armingeon, the Matanzas Riverkeeper, questions the push to drill for oil at a time when the U.S. should be looking at alternative energy. Fossil fuels, after all, are the primary drivers of climate change. Florida fought to ban offshore oil drilling in the 1980s to protect its beaches. With that ban set to expire in 2017, Armingeon is flabbergasted that protecting the state’s natural resources no longer seems a priority, and says that to give in to the powerful oil and gas industry is folly. “Their greed and desire for money overrides any concern for the natural world,” says Armingeon. “They would kill marine mammals, kill the whole Atlantic fishery for the promise of oil and gas. It’s incomprehensible, really.” 

“The whole concept is just preposterous. It’s going to disrupt everything in the ocean.”

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Susan Cooper Eastman

HUNTED NEARLY TO EXTINCTION: “There used to be hundreds and thousands” of right whales, says Matthaei, “so many that whalers would say they could walk across the ocean on their backs.”

MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 9



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GOOD LUCK WITH THAT JU basketball has a problem, but it’s not Cliff Warren

Sales Rep _CJ


very industry has its performance review season. Most of us who spend our waking lives in cubicles had performance reviews at year’s end. Those © 2014 whose jobs are in college basketball, however, face ongoing performance reviews, and one of the best locally just had his performance deemed lacking. Cliff Warren was fired as Jacksonville University’s head basketball coach — in a way, a predictable move. A 12-18 season; before that, two seasons averaging 20 losses between them, prompting the athletic director to act. But was firing Warren the right move? Even after three losing seasons, it’s important to be mindful of what else the former Georgia Tech assistant coach did in almost a decade at the helm of the Dolphins program. He got JU to the NIT twice (and beat the No. 1 seed one year), led the team to a victory over Billy Donovan’s Florida Gators, and built up the program after Hugh Durham’s departure. His record over nine years — 126-150 — isn’t great, but if the one-win season in 2005 is factored out, that’s eight years of .500 ball. How much more can JU really expect in D-1 basketball in the 21st century? JU’s athletic director, Brad Edwards, came from Newberry in 2012 to take this job (missing the good years Warren had). He hasn’t leveled with the media about why he dumped the coach. “It’s not just wonloss record,” he told the Times-Union. “The institution wants to move in a new direction. That’s all I want to say, and can say. These decisions are never easy.” True. Live long enough, and you will fire someone (and be fired). Still, in this case, it’s hard for me to imagine a new direction that will be appreciably better than the one taken

throughout the Warren era. We don’t usually think of JU’s NCAA Atlantic Sun conference as a powerhouse. However, it’s a Division I conference, and has some schools with significant student bodies. Kennesaw State has about 25,000 students, and quite a few others have more than 10,000 students. JU, with about 3,300 undergrads, is near the bottom. And yes, size matters. A growing land grant university has significant advantages over a private school like JU when it comes to recruiting. David cannot slay Goliath every time. That seems to be the expectation imposed on Warren. If he’d won three more games this year, would the .500 record have saved him? Warren constructed his roster from smoke and mirrors, recruiting creatively and nationally because he knew the difficulties of competing with Gainesville and Tallahassee, and he was too polite to say that JU had no real appeal for local athletes. For his part, Warren is being unrelentingly positive — the same positivity that characterized his time as head coach. After being fired, he tweeted: “To my Jacksonville community, family & friends worldwide ... THANK U THANK U THANK U, you’re far 2 kind. Truly Blessed … God is GOOD.” And why shouldn’t he be positive? He’ll be fine. He can cool his heels as an assistant somewhere for a year or two before moving on to a position at least as good as the one at JU. The Dolphins, meanwhile, have greater worries. They need to find someone who is as creative, as motivating and as proven as Warren to come in and “rebuild” yet again, with almost nothing on the roster to work with. Good luck with all that. 

Live long enough, and you will fire someone (and be fired).

10 | | MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014

© 2014

AG Gancarski @aggancarski

MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 11

Joy Leverette is filling the void of Downtown’s vacant soul with art.

Story by Carley Robinson Photos by Dennis Ho

THE BIG EMPTY 12 | | MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014

o Joy Leverette’s eyes, Jacksonville is not really a city. Not yet. It is instead a grouping of little towns, joined together under one area code. In this pistol-shaped state, it sits on the hammer, ready to pull back the spring and fire off progress — if only it could get itself in the right position. “What Jacksonville needs is artists Downtown,” Leverette says. “That’s what creates a beautiful urban culture.” Below her curly red hair are eyes, framed by winged liner, that well with excitement when you say the word Jacksonville. This enthusiasm fueled her proposal for The Looking Lab, which last year received $19,500 from the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville in the form of a Spark Grant. The Looking Lab’s mission is to draw attention to Downtown’s empty spaces and bring more people into the urban core. In this vast void, Jacksonville’s history is crumbling before our eyes. We try to mask it with murals, but leave the march of time largely unchallenged. Nothing, Leverette says, could be more dangerous to a city’s identity: “It’s the emptiness that’s scary. It’s in the emptiness where the underbelly lives. It’s in the darkness where the boogeyman is.” Leverette and The Looking Lab shed light on that darkness with pop-up storefront art shows. By populating empty spaces with visual artists, musicians and dancers, Leverette is seeking to slowly exorcise Downtown’s demons. The next show, Exhibit B: Spaceshifts, opens March 28, featuring the work of the University of North Florida’s Enlivened Spaces sculpture students in collaboration with Jacksonville University’s dance department in the windows of City Hall. “Usually we have a stage; this time we only have windows,” says JU dance instructor Lana Heylock. “It will be a challenge for the students to use a small space and still communicate kinetically and create a narrative and tell a

story through their bodies.” The UNF students will transform the space with installations that reflect various environments, from deep sea to coral reef to swamp to city to mountains to deep space, even to other worlds. The JU dancers will attempt to embody the life-forms that would live in these environments and tell their story through movement. “The Looking Lab is an investigation for ‘what happens if,’ ” Leverette explains. “We’re performing experiments with different mediums.” The resulting exhibits are the outcome of those experiments, showcased in Downtown storefronts. If Leverette had her way, Jacksonville would be Brooklyn’s sister city. Then she wouldn’t need to leave here to experience the same artistic atmosphere that more cosmopolitan places offer. The Looking Lab is her effort to spark that atmosphere locally. “She is a change agent,” says Erin Galat, communications manager at the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville. “Artists may not come to the top of the list when you think about creating change, but when you think about the impact they make, they really should be.” To the Cultural Council, artistic creation is tied directly to economic development. “Usually, when a space is abandoned, it is seen as a blight, or unsafe,” Galat says. “Projects like Joy’s create these spaces into points of interest that spur energy Downtown. The foot traffic benefits the other businesses on that city block.” Leverette studied visual art and received her bachelor’s degree from the University of

North Florida before leaving the 904 for the bright lights of bigger cities like D.C. and New York. As a singer for the jazz band Feels Like Radar, she immersed herself into the creative counterculture. She also managed to tap into a part of herself that always loved performance. She was affected most by the notion that large cities have spaces for artists to both live and hone their craft. Such spaces were the heartbeat of and added flavor to neighborhoods. After eight years, she emerged on the other side with a new perspective: “The arts are the answer,” Leverette says. “They are what make a city unique and give a city its culture. I didn’t know that until I came back. You don’t realize the importance until you see it.” When she returned to Jacksonville, it was in search of something else, a sense of self as much as a sense of home. She began experimenting with what she calls field jamming. For the uninitiated, to field jam, follow these simple instructions: 1) Find an empty field. 2) Don your favorite sunglasses. 3) Put in your ear buds. 4) Begin dancing alone. “As a painter, my style is very detailed and rigid,” Leverette says. “I wanted to find a way to get the same joy from painting that I did from field dancing.” Thus was born Sister Feathertoe, a barefoot dance-painting goddess symbol that is equal parts courage and spontaneity. This alter ego has already made her mark on the city. Under this alias, Leverette, disguised as a nun or a businesswoman who suddenly breaks into dance in the middle of a crowd, has instigated

“It’s in the emptiness where the underbelly lives. It’s in the darkness where the boogeyman is.”

THE ARTS ARE THE ANSWER: On a day that also included presentations with Downtown Vision and the Cultural Council, Leverette brainstorms with bookseller Jeni O’Donnell at Chamblin’s Uptown.

MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 13

THE REVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISED: For two weeks, Leverette will live in this storefront on the corner of Adams and Laura streets, under the constant watchful eye of two webcams.

our surroundings, to imagine a Downtown impromptu dance parties. During MOCA’s with light in every window. This can only be retrospective showcase in the spring of 2012, achieved if artists occupy the empty spaces. for instance, Sister Feathertoe, crowned in Leverette argues that if artists live and work daisies, dance-painted a portrait of Edie Downtown they will, by osmosis, create culture Sedgwick using her hands and feet to a track where there is none. Like a river carving a of “These Boots Were Made for Walkin’ ” — canyon, these artists will change the landscape reverential to the ’60s. By day, Leverette is around them, bringing a wife, stepmother and art shows and galleries sister to 10 siblings. In to vacant buildings, her second skin, however, music to sidewalk cafés, Leverette sheds what she and performance to the calls her “clerical self ” streets. This in turn will and becomes her “creative (hopefully) attract more self,” forming large-scale artists from other places pieces while freestyle and more foot traffic dancing to Native Downtown. American drumbeats. Jacksonville, Leverette All of which is adds, is a great place for interesting, but how could an artist on a mission. hippie ideas from Yankee There’s simply less cities translate into real competition. If you are progress for Jacksonville? driven, you can make a “For every dollar name for yourself here. that’s invested in But she would rather the arts, over $22 is trade being a big fish in a generated in revenue small pond for a vibrant to our city,” says Diane ocean of possibilities. Brunet-García, chair of “I want to be the kind the Cultural Council’s of artist who is part of board of directors. a larger community,” “That’s an incredible Leverette says, “where we economic impact and all work together to create return on investment for something amazing. Jacksonville. So, if we place the arts and artists There is a lot of pressure on the creative in as a top priority in Downtown development, we Jacksonville.” will substantially increase our pace in making The problems at our city’s core are deepJacksonville a world-class destination.” rooted and require creative solutions. After Still, asking a few art shows to revolutionize spending last year in an administrative role a sprawling city mired in coordinating The Looking tradition and apathy is a tall Lab projects, Leverette order. “The Looking Lab has now come to realize EXHIBIT C: LIVE/WORK, can’t do it alone,” Leverette just how much money, April 2-May 8, says. “We need the creative resources and time are 47 W. Adams St., Downtown community to come needed to get a vision like Artists live in a storefront window, producing work for public together to let Jacksonville hers off the ground. observation. know Downtown is “If there are more important. Let’s give people like me, then at least people a reason to come there are a few loud voices Downtown so they don’t have to leave the city making noise,” Leverette says. “We have the like I did.” ability as a generation to rebrand this city.” The city, she believes, is a blank canvas, The Looking Lab is her bat signal, calling ready for a renaissance that isn’t going to come citizens to action. from the St. Johns Town Center. And so her How will we answer?  Looking Lab challenges us to connect with

“Artists may not come to the top of the list when you think about creating change, but when you think about the impact they make, they really should be.”

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SARINA MARCENGILL of Orange Park won this AWESOME 3G Beach Cruiser from

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Text “FOLIO” to 77948 to DOWNLOAD THE APP. Our next contest is for a $50 gift certificate to ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAKHOUSE.

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Our Picks Reasons to leave the house this week


Conan said it best: “You can do anything you want in life – unless Jay Leno wants to do it, too.” Right now, all Jay Leno wants to do is stand-up (hope that wasn’t your career choice, kids). After becoming increasingly unfunny on his show over the past decade, suffering an embarrassing 2010 late-night TV fiasco with Conan O’Brien, and finally handing over Late Night to Jimmy Fallon, Leno’s back on stage, performing a brand of comedy your mom thinks is hilarious. 8 p.m. March 27 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts.


The grimmest, most spine-shivering strain of East Coast rap history still belongs solely to Mobb Deep. On 1995’s The Infamous, Queensbridge MCs Prodigy and Havoc combined gritty, hyperrealistic tales of treacherous street life with stark and bleak yet subtly elegant beats – a hip-hop blueprint often imitated but never matched. After a Twitter-fueled 2012 beef, the two made up in 2013, announced a new double album (out April 1) and embarked on a national tour that’ll thrill those who grew up on black-hearted street anthems like “Shook Ones, Pt. II.” 8 p.m. April 2 at Underbelly, Downtown, $20-$22.


Save the fairground big tickets for the tourists; Nobby’s – that puny St. Augustine dive bar that doesn’t even have a stage – hosts 47 bands (!) over four nights during Nobfest 3. While previous editions of Nobfest were organized by genre each day, bands this go-’round follow no discernable order – there’s nearly every conceivable rock-and-roll variation. Wet Nurse – a lewd, Orlando garage pop trio whose set sounds like (and may induce) one big sugar-high – plays before Permanent Makeup, the trippy, psychedelic act from Tampa. And so on. 9 p.m.-1 a.m. March 27, 5 p.m.-1 a.m. March 28, 2 p.m. -1 a.m. March 29 and noon-1 a.m. March 30 at Shanghai Nobby’s, St. Augustine, $5-$35.


CDs are the coasters of the future. (And, well, the future is now.) Vinyl is forever, much more than a resurgent fad, more than just 20thcentury nostalgia. What analogue lacks in audiological perfection, it more than makes up for in warmth – which is why records are still the favorite of audiophiles everywhere. At this Record Fair, dealers from all over hawk posters, collectibles, turntable supplies and plenty of new and used memorabilia. Noon, March 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre, free admission.


Amid waves of sketchy Canadian musicians who migrate here (have we deported Beebs yet?), we also keep the borders open for bands like Protest the Hero. The prog metal act’s most recent (and first crowdfunded) release, Volition, is an intricately layered album that demands to be heard in one sitting. Vocalist Rody Walker has taken over lyric-writing from bassist Arif Mirabdolbaghi, and the set-to-song prose is drastically more direct – though less ambitious – than earlier efforts. 6 p.m. March 28 at Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $18. 16 | | MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014


The 1950s African-American experience was a struggle to overcome oppressive elements in a segregated society masked by its own self-righteous justifications. A Raisin in the Sun captures this struggle through the perspective of the Youngers, a black family in Chicago striving to escape a deteriorating life. When the idea of moving to a suburb meets resistance from the white neighbors, the Youngers’ personal values and loyalty are tested. Presented by Stage Aurora Theatrical Company, the actors’ powerful performances illustrate the characters’ moral compromises made trying to establish their own identities. The compelling writing of Lorraine Hansberry (pictured), Broadway’s first black female writer, offers a glimpse into a faded but not forgotten past. 7 p.m. March 28, 6 p.m. March 29 and April 6, 3 p.m. March 30 and April 6 at Stage Aurora Performance Hall, Northside, $15-$20.

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DREAMING WITH OPEN EYES Four decades after his band changed the musical world, Steve Hackett celebrates Genesis’ early work

STEVE HACKETT performs GENESIS REVISITED 8:30 p.m. April 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, Ponte Vedra Beach, $49.50-$69.50, 209-0399,


teve Hackett has created a career and a legacy out of pushing music forward. For his current tour, however, he’s returning to his roots and, with his six-piece band, revisiting the works he helped create with legendary rock band Genesis. “It’s surely nostalgic and a chance to reinterpret them in the way that I play them now, with the guys I am working with to also put their own stamp on it,” says Hackett, from his home near West London. In the early ’70s, Hackett and fellow players Tony Banks, Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel and Mike Rutherford helped create what became known as progressive rock, which fused elements of classical and jazz, often-cerebral lyrics and theatrical stage performances. “There’s a spirit and respect for the genre that runs through this that I think my generation and later generations appreciate,” he says of the musical template he helped design. “But it wasn’t quite the Sermon on the Mount, if you know what I mean.” Yet many were listening. Never one to casually toss around compliments, John Lennon was an outspoken fan of Genesis’ 1973 album Selling England by the Pound, and the likes of Queen, Rush, Iron Maiden and Phish have all cited early Genesis as a crucial influence. Contemporary neo-folkies Fleet Foxes have pledged their allegiance, too, and the late Jeff Buckley recorded an engaging cover of 1974’s “Back in NYC.” “That’s great and certainly flattering, but as any young player, you’re influenced by what you hear. Nobody comes out fully

formed,” Hackett says. “I’m very influenced by the other guys in Genesis. On the first day that I worked with Phil, he said, ‘We are bound to influence each other.’ And we did.” Hackett acknowledges the blues and baroque music as two of his earliest influences, a pair of disparate genres that are fitting inspirations for a guitarist whose career has been incredibly varied and widely inventive. Post-Genesis, his brilliant solo debut Voyage of the Acolyte raised the bar for the possibilities of the then-nascent jazzfusion scene. Over the course of more than 20 solo albums and dozens of collaborative releases, Hackett has shifted from electric guitar explorations to meditative, nylonstring classical guitar albums. In the mid1980s, Hackett returned to pop fame with the band GTR, whose hit “When the Heart Rules the Mind” claimed the No. 3 spot on U.S. charts. “Music is always a huge shot in the dark,” Hackett says. “You always need an element of risk to get to that place you’re thinking of. Yet it slowly reveals itself.” While many legendary bands break apart and retain equally legendary resentments, Hackett is still on amicable terms with former bandmates. “The guys in Genesis have all become leaders in their fields,” he says. “And as a bandleader myself, I can book a gig and don’t have to negotiate that across three governments. But having said that, we are still pals, we still love each other, and we still talk.” In fact, the 64-year-old guitarist is still receptive to the idea of a reunion. “I’ve always been open to the idea, and who knows? My doors are always open.” 

“Music is always a huge shot in the dark.”

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Daniel A. Brown

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DAVE HAUSE, NORTHCOTE, BEAU CRUM 7 p.m. March 26 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $10, 398-7496. SCOTLAND’S BATTLEFIELD BAND 7:30 p.m. March 26 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, $25, 352-7008. DANGERMUFFIN, EMMA MOSELEY BAND 8 p.m. March 26 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $8. MIKE TRAMP SOLO ACOUSTIC (of White Lion), RIVER CITY KATS, VINTAGE ROSE 7 p.m. March 27 at Brewster’s Pit, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $8, 223-9850. GET THE LED OUT 8 p.m. March 27 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $23-$38.50, 355-2787. JOHN FLYNN 7:30 p.m. March 27 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. DIRTY BOURBON RIVER SHOW 9 p.m. March 27 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 353-6067. DRIVIN N CRYIN’, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND 8 p.m. March 27 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $15, 246-2473. YOUR 33 BLACK ANGELS, THE GREEDY LOVERS, MOON CHEESE BABIES 8 p.m. March 27 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686. THE FLOOZIES, S.P.O.R.E. 9 p.m. March 27 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $15. YONAS, PELL, THE SPECKTATORS, DRAZAH, GHBREEZIE, SEAN PICASSO 8 p.m. March 27 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $10, 398-7496. THE BRONX WANDERERS 7:30 p.m. March 28 at ThrasherHorne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, $15-$38, 276-6750. FORTUNATE YOUTH, SIDEREAL, TRUE PRESS 8 p.m. March 28 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $10, 246-2473. YO MAMA’S BIG FAT BOOTY BAND, PARKER URBAN BAND, COPIOUS JONES 8 p.m. March 28 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $10, 353-6067. LORETTA LYNN 8 p.m. March 28 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $41-$71, 355-2787. PROTEST THE HERO, BATTLECROSS, SAFETY FIRE, INTERVALS, NIGHT/VERSUS 6 p.m. March 28 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $18, 398-7496. RUFFIANS, SUNSPOTS, THE CROWKEEPERS 8 p.m. March 28 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $3, 353-4686. GORAN IVANOVIC 9 p.m. March 28 at Original CafÊ Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, $15, 460-9311. CALEDONIA STRING BAND 7 p.m. March 28 at Murray Hill Theatre’s Fringe CafÊ, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, free, 388-7807. BUSH DOCTORS 8 p.m. March 28 and 29 at Ragtime Tavern, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877. KB, SOCIAL CLUB, BRINSON, CSTRAIGHT 8 p.m. March 28, Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., $8-$12, 388-7807. RAILROAD DAYS: Liz Mobley, Randall Smith, Dale Wingo, Amber Delacruz & Band, Robin Kinsey, Ray Williams, Hambone Stumps Band, John Crisp, Samantha Crisp, Southern Breeze Band 2-8 p.m. March 28 & 29, Historic Callahan Train Depot, 45383 Dixie Ave., Callahan, STILL ON THE HILL 7:30 p.m. March 29 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. SLIDE INTO SPRING MUSIC & CRAFT BEER FESTIVAL: Herd of Watts, Vagabond Swing, The Fritz, Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band, Keller Williams 12:30 p.m. March 29, Main Beach, 25 Tarpon St., Fernandina Beach, $25, ROCK N’ ROLL CHROME, DENIED TIL DEATH, RUNNING RAMPANT, ICON FOR HIRE, POOR RICHARDS 8 p.m. March 29 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $8, 246-2473. GRAMMAR TREE, ORANGE AIR, KUDOS THE KID, M!F 8 p.m. March 29, Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams, Downtown, $5, 353-4686. 2 CHAINZ, DAVID FROST 9 p.m. March 29 at Aqua Nightclub, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $50. THE MOWGLIS, MISTERWIVES, BURIED BEDS 8 p.m. March 29, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., $15, 398-7496. COUNTRY TRIBUTE TO WOMEN OF THE MILITARY: Darryl Worley, Morgan Frazier, Jamie Davis, Rion Paige 6 p.m. March 29 at Mavericks at the Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, $20-$25, 356-1110.

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DEATH BECOMES THEM: As you might expect, The Funeral & The Twilight take aim at the macabre, specializing in songs that bands looking for stardom wouldn’t dream of playing. The DIY trio from Minneapolis might give you visions of murder and torture – but they won’t condone it. They take the stage March 31 at Burro Bar. NORTH FLORIDA FOLK NETWORK, CHARLEY SIMMONS, ROAD LESS TRAVELED, LARRY MANGUM, DIXIE RODEO 10:30 a.m. March 29, Riverside Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., free, 389-2449. SOPHISTAFUNK 9 p.m. March 29 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $10. RICKOLOUS, RIVERS AND LAKES, JULIE KARR, FJORD EXPLORER 8 p.m. March 30, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. CARRIE NATION & the SPEAKEASY, MUDTOWN, TAIL LIGHT REBELLION 8 p.m. March 30, Burro Bar, $6, 353-4686. AARON BING 7:30 p.m. March 30 at T-U Center, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $45.50, 633-6110. STEVE POLITZ, DONNY BRAZILE 8 p.m. March 30, CafÊ Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, $15, 460-9311. THE FUNERAL & THE TWILIGHT, BURNT HAIR, PROSTRATE, DELPHIC ORACLE 8 p.m. March 31, Burro Bar, $5, 353-4686.

ALL TIME LOW, MAN OVERBOARD, HAND GUNS 6 p.m. April 1 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473. STEVE HACKETT 8:30 p.m. April 2 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, $49.50-$69.50, 209-0399. MOBB DEEP 8 p.m. April 2 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $22, 353-6067. TESSERACT, INTRONAUT, CLOUD KICKER 6 p.m. April 2 at Brewster’s, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $14, 223-9850.


JESSE COOK April 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PEPPINO D’AGOSTINO April 3, Mudville Music Room PAUL ANKA April 3, T-U Center’s Moran Theater T. MILLS April 3, Brewster’s Megaplex SOJA April 3, The Florida Theatre












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4-27: Matt Still’s Sole Tour 4-28: Easy Star All-Stars/Cas Haley 5-2: The Movement/The Hip Abduction 5-6: Charles Bradley & his Extraordinaires 5-7: Katchafire/Maoli 5-9: The Faint

MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 21





22 | | MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014

nstrumental music is a hard sell. Harder now than ever, it seems, what with hipsters feeding on the carcasses of Peter Bjorn and John and bushing out their beards in anticipation of a new Mumford and Sons release. Unless you know where to look, music — even “independent” music — has become gray flatland of drabness. In the 1970s, when progressive rock, jazz-fusion and soundtrack music were on the rise, there was suddenly a vast canvas on which bands could paint. Yes, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Pink Floyd, Gong, Genesis, Jethro Tull, Herbie Hancock’s Headhunters, ELP and, of course, Frank Zappa’s Mothers were among many groups that enjoyed long stretches of instrumental experimentation for an audience willing to expand their horizons — or, at the very least, ingest a handful of hallucinogens and go along for the ride. By the late ’70s, though, squashed by disco and then new wave, attention spans had shortened, and instrumental music was relegated to the fringe. Attempts to revive instrumental music in the popular realm quickly collapsed — the math-rock movement of the ’90s and the current but hopeless surge in progmetal bands being the most visible examples. Still, musicians — real musicians, those who spend their lives learning their craft, honing their technique, shredding for countless hours hoping to compose and immaculately execute complex passages and dense orchestrations — are an irrepressible bunch. They will find a way to play. Most of the “real” musicians I know play in cover bands, making a living or supplementing their incomes while maintaining some connection with instrumental music. There’s zero money in it. Hell, even the most popular jam bands pad their tunes with lame-ass singalong choruses. But there are an intrepid few that still try, bless their little hearts. Case in point: Tambor. The Jacksonville sextet is reminiscent of early Tortoise, heavy on the vibes and Rhodes

keyboard, with attention paid to the layering on of chordal and rhythmic figures. Schooled musicians all, the boys in Tambor create landscapes in which listeners may roam, if they so choose. It’s the kind of music that can be challenging if you want it to be, or it can simply wash away into a cascade of melodies. It depends on your perspective. Guitarist/percussionist and co-composer Chris Jackson, a multi-instrumentalist whom I occasionally join in another instrumental band, Tropic of Cancer, says finding an audience for this kind of stuff can be a pain in the ass. Well, he puts it this way: “The challenge is writing music that is engaging enough to retain the listener’s attention without the use of lyrics. This can be especially difficult to pull off in a city where classical and jazz often go under-appreciated.” Citing minimalist composers Steve Reich and David Lang as influences, along with a host of jazz, Latin and African, and progrock artists, Jackson says that while he and fellow guitarist Ivan Skenes are the chief songwriters, Tambor is a collaborative effort. They all have a say in the final arrangement. With six members (Jackson, Skenes, Josh Wessolowski on drums, Eric Riehm on sax and keys, Evan Peterson on bass and Sean Hendrix on vibraphone), Tambor isn’t exactly printing sawbucks. But that’s not a concern. “This group, since the beginning, has been completely focused on writing and playing music that we like to play,” says Jackson. “We’ve barely made a cent as of yet. Many of us gig on the side or have day jobs to supplement our income, allowing us to express the pure joy of music without being concerned about a paycheck.” Bless their little hearts. If you’ve a mind for adventure, Tambor plays on Friday, April 11 at Rain Dogs in 5 Points and on Sunday, April 13 at Underbelly during One Spark. The band is in the process of recording a nine-song album, due out this summer. 

RELIEF IN SLEEP, AMONGST THE FORGOTTEN April 3, Jack Rabbits ROBERT CRAY BAND April 4, P.V. Concert Hall ZACH MYERS (of Shinedown) April 4, Brewster’s Megaplex THE MALAH, SPANKALICIOUS, FUTEXTURE, VLAD THE INHALER, BIT DEFF, TRILLUCINATION, LUMAGROVE, DAMBALLA, MATTHEW CONNOR April 4, 1904 Music Hall GREYMARKET, MILO, DR. SIRBROTHER, LAKE DISNEY April 4, Burro Bar RHYTHM & RIBS: Sister Hazel, Red River Band, Grimes Alley, Elizabeth & the Grapes of Roth, Salt Driven Ride, Toots Lorraine & the Traffic, Emma Moseley Band, Delbert McClinton, Wobbly Toms, Lonesome Bert & The Skinny Lizards, The Lee Boys, The Corbitt Brothers, Clark Hill April 4 & 5, Francis Field, St. Augustine SPRINGING THE BLUES: Parker Urban Band, Brandon Santini, Joanne Shaw Taylor, Selwyn Birchwood April 4,

SeaWalk Plaza, Jax Beach RED, DISCIPLE, BENJAH, SPOKEN, A LIFE SET APART April 4, Murray Hill Theatre BEN TAYLOR April 4, Jack Rabbits THE DOG APOLLO, OSCAR MIKE, NORTHE April 4, Freebird Live SPRINGING THE BLUES: Betty Fox, Woody & the Peckers, Jarekus Singleton, Moreland & Arbuckle, Diedre & Ruff Pro Band, Biscuit Miller & the Mix, Shane Dwight, Victor Wainwright & the WildRoots April 5, SeaWalk Plaza, Jax Beach GRANT PEEPLES April 5, Mudville Music Room THOMAS WYNN & THE BELIEVERS, THE IVEY WEST BAND April 5, Underbelly SLICK RICK 25TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR April 5, Freebird Live THE ORIGINAL WAILERS April 5, The Standard SUBTERRANEAN, DENVER, FOREST PEYTON April 5, Jack Rabbits ROCKS N’ BLUNTS, DJ LOVELEE, CHRIS FOG, DOX, BOBBY

John E. Citrone

NEWPORT, B3ATBUM April 5, 1904 Music Hall FREDDY ROSARIO April 5, Murray Hill Theatre SOUTH EAST BEAST: Wonder Years, The Story So Far, Modern Life is War, Turnstile, A Call for Kylie, A Loss for Words, Bad Luck, Better Off, Citizen, Coldside, Engraved, Fireworks, Front Porch Step, Hollow Tides, Hungover, Me & the Trinity, Modern Baseball, The Mongoloids, Nine Lives, On Guard, Pvris, Pinehurst, Real Friends, Refuge, Reign Supreme, Rescuer, Sack the City, Transcendence, We Still Dream, You Blew It!, Valor April 5, Brewster’s Megaplex JESSECAROLE MONTOYA, SWEET SCARLETT, UNF JAZZ ENSEMBLE II April 5, Riverside Arts Market SPRINGING THE BLUES: Linda Grenville & Friends, John Miller & Baystreet, Mama Blue, Toots Lorraine & the Traffic, Eric Steckel, The Legendary JC’s, The Lee Boys, Kim Reteguiz & the Black Cat Bones April 6, SeaWalk Plaza, Jax Beach DOUG STANHOPE April 6, Underbelly ANVIL, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, A NEW DECREE, ALL THINGS DONE April 6, Jack Rabbits SOUTH EAST BEAST: Stick to Your Guns, Terror, Ringworm, DYS, Adaliah, Alpha and Omega, Barrier, Bent Life, Bishop, Carry the Weight, Counterparts, Discourse, Death Before Dishonor, Evergreen Terrace, Expire, Frameworks, From Knights to Kings, Hundredth, Incited, Malfunction, My Ticket Home, Naysayer, Point Blank, Raindance, Relentless, Remembering Never, Rhythm of Fear, The Rival Within, Thick as Blood, Will to Die April 6, Brewster’s Megaplex THE GLORIOUS UNSEEN (Ben Crist solo) April 6, Murray Hill Theatre FOX STREET ALLSTARS April 7, Underbelly THE REIGN OF KINDO April 7, Jack Rabbits AMOS LEE April 7, The Florida Theatre TANTRIC, SOIL April 8, Brewster’s Megaplex BUFFALO BUFFALO, I ANTHEM April 8, Underbelly PROPAGANDA, KIDD SWIFT April 9, Murray Hill Theatre AUTHORITY ZERO April 9, Jack Rabbits DAVID JACOBS-STRAIN April 9, Mudville Music Room BLACKJACK BILLY April 10, Mavericks at the Landing WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL: The Allman Brothers Band, Trey Anastasio Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tedeschi Trucks Band, Gov’t Mule, Jaimoe’s Jasssz Band, Umphrey’s McGee, Ziggy Marley, Blues Traveler, The Chris Robinson Brotherhood, Hot Tuna Electric, moe., Rusted Root, Ivan Neville’s Dumpstaphunk, Soulive, Royal Southern Brotherhood, Walter Trout, Rob Garza (Thievery Corporation), Blind Boys of Alabama, Bobby Lee Rodgers, Melvin Seals & JGB, Futurebirds, Matt Schofield, Break Science, Sean Chambers, The Yeti Trio April 10-12, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park MILO, CONNOR HICKEY, ON GUARD April 10, Burro Bar THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA April 11, P.V. Concert Hall MIKE EPPS April 11, T-U Center FRAMING HANLEY April 11, Brewster’s Megaplex RAY WYLIE HUBBARD, THE 77D’S April 12, Jack Rabbits WHITE FANG, DENNEY & THE JETS, THE MOLD April 12, Burro Bar CATHEDRAL ARTS PROJECT, SAM PACETTI, FOUR FAMILIES, SCOTT JONES DANCERS April 12, Riverside Arts Market UNIVERSAL GREEN, TOMBOI April 12, Underbelly DOPAPOD, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE April 12, Freebird Live DIERKS BENTLEY, FRANKIE BALLARD, BROTHERS OSBORNE April 12, St. Augustine Amphitheatre OYSTER JAM MUSIC FEST: Split Tone, Be Easy, Michael Jordan, Rawmyst, S.P.O.R.E., Firewater Tent Revival, Beau Knott & the Burners, Mama Blue, Chris Williams, Brent Byrd, Rip Currents, Kia Nicole, Palm Trees & Powerlines April 12-13, Metropolitan Park JON VEZNER April 13, Mudville Music Room THE ZOMBIES April 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MOON TAXI, CHRIS WOODS April 13, Jack Rabbits THE HILLBENDERS, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE April 13, The Original Café Eleven THE VALLEY ROOTS April 14, Underbelly SONS OF FATHERS April 15, Jack Rabbits LEDISI April 16, The Florida Theatre THE DECORATION April 16, Jack Rabbits LOCAL NATIVES April 17, Freebird Live MITCH KUHMAN BAND April 17, Sangrias GOO GOO DOLLS, RUN RIVER NORTH April 17, P.V. Concert Hall BOGGSIE BRIGADE April 17, Jack Rabbits MEAN MARY April 17, Mudville Music Room CONSIDER THE SOURCE April 18, Underbelly TECH N9NE, KRIZZ KALIKO, JARREN BRENTON, PSYCH WARD DRUGGIES, FREDDIE GIBBS April 18, Brewster’s Edge LESS THAN JAKE, SIDEREAL April 18, Jack Rabbits PASSAFIRE, LULLWATER April 18, Freebird Live CASKEY April 18, Brewster’s DJ KEMIT, ANCIENT CITY April 18, 1904 Music Hall LESS THAN JAKE, GENERAL TSO’S FURY April 19, Jack Rabbits THE RESOLVERS, UNIVERSAL GREEN, THE MESSENGERS April 19, Underbelly MERCYGIRL, WHOSOEVER SOUTH April 19, Murray Hill Theatre BLESSTHEFALL, SILVERSTEIN, THE AMITY AFFLICTION, SECRETS, HEARTIST April 19, Freebird Live DARIUS RUCKER, ELI YOUNG BAND, COREY SMITH April 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MEREDITH RAE, THE 77DS, JOEY KERR April 19, Riverside Arts Market SLAID CLEAVES April 19, Mudville Music Room THE FRITZ, SQUEEDLEPUSS April 19, 1904 Music Hall MISHKA, SARAH BLACKER April 20, Jack Rabbits MILLION DOLLAR QUARTET April 22, T-U Center REHAB April 22, Jack Rabbits

A&E // MUSIC TODD SNIDER April 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HURT April 23, Brewster’s Megaplex HUEY MACK April 24, Jack Rabbits VANCE GILBERT April 24, Mudville Music Room GRIZ, MICHAL MENERT April 24, Freebird Live JANA KRAMER April 24, Mavericks at the Landing WHITE CHAPEL, CARNIFEX, WITHIN THE RUINS, CRUEL HAND April 24, Brewster’s Megaplex TAKING BACK SUNDAY, TONIGHT ALIVE, SLEEPWAVE April 25, Freebird Live YANCY CLEGG April 25, Jack Rabbits TEXAS IN JULY, STRUCTURES, ERRA, MYKA, RELOCTE, ELITIST April 26, Atticus Bar LARRY MANGUM April 26, Mudville Music Room DICK DALE April 26, Jack Rabbits WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Avenged Sevenfold, The Cult, Motorhead, Volbeat, Chevelle, Alter Bridge, Hellyeah, Adelitas Way, Rev Theory, Butcher Babies, Memphis May Fire, We as Human, Monster Truck, We Came as Romans, Middle Class Rut, Devour the Day April 26, Metropolitan Park LaVilla School of the Arts JAZZ BAND, CJ FLUHARTY, JULIE DURDEN, ERIC BOWDEN April 26, Riverside Arts Market ANTIQUE ANIMALS April 27, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach SANTANA April 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOLE TOUR: Nate Holley, John Earle, Charlie Walker, Rachael Warfield, Odd Rodd, Matt Still April 27, Freebird Live WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Korn, Rob Zombie, Five Finger Death Punch, Staind, Seether, Theory of a Deadman, Black Label Society, Black Stone Cherry, Trivium, Motionless in White, Sick Puppies, Skindred, The Pretty Reckless, Lacuna Coil, Fozzy, Kyng, Nothing More, Twelve Foot Ninja April 27, Metropolitan Park UNDER THE STREETLAMP, GENTLEMAN’S RULE April 27, The Florida Theatre EASY STAR ALL-STARS, CAS HALEY, BIG HOPE April 28, Freebird Live CHUCK RAGAN & THE CAMARADARIE, JONNY TWO BAGS, BEAU CRUM April 28, Jack Rabbits ROB THOMAS April 29, The Florida Theatre POWERMAN 5000 April 29, Brewster’s Megaplex M. WARD April 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AER April 30, Jack Rabbits SUWANNEE RIVER JAM: Brantley Gilbert, Montgomery Gentry, The Mavericks, Chris Cagle, Justin Moore, The Charlie Daniels Band, Colt Ford, The Lacs, JJ Lawhorn April 30-May 3, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park JOHN LEGEND April 30, The Florida Theatre LARRY MANGUM, JIM CARRICK, CHARLEY SIMMONS May 1, Mudville Music Room

Mon: Karaoke Tues: Karaoke Wed: Jam Nite / Open Mic

Heavy Hitters Club Host Band Synrgy Featuring Rocco Marshall, Derek Hess, Clinton Carver, Rick “Hurricane� Johnson and other special guests. That means you. 8:30 pm

Thurs: Amber De La Cruz Fri: Home of the Most Talented

Wait Staff Show begins 9pm till close

THE MOVEMENT, THE HIP ABDUCTION May 2, Freebird Live DA GUITAR STUDENT RECITAL May 3, Mudville Music Room BRIT FLOYD May 4, The Florida Theatre AMY GRANT May 4, T-U Center's Jacoby Symphony Hall WILLIE NELSON, ALISON KRAUSS, UNION STATION, JERRY DOUGLASS May 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHARLES BRADLEY & his EXTRAORDINAIRES May 6, Freebird TURKUAZ May 7, Underbelly KATCHAFIRE, MAOLI May 7, Freebird Live COMBICHRIST May 8, Brewster’s Megaplex THE HEAD AND THE HEART, LOST IN THE TREES May 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE MAIN SQUEEZE May 8, 1904 Music Hall PROPAGANDA May 9, Murray Hill Theatre THE FAINT May 9, Freebird Live THE FAB FOUR May 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BLITZEN TRAPPER May 9, Jack Rabbits I SEE STARS, LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES, GHOST TOWN, RAZIHEL, MISS FORTUNE May 9, Brewster’s Megaplex PURPLE HATTER’S BALL: Beats Antique, Emancipator Ensemble, The New Mastersounds, Heavy Pets, The Nth Power, DubConscious, Space Capone, Rising Appalachia, Greenhouse Lounge May 9-11, Suwannee Music Park BEGGAR’S RIDE, MARK MANDEVILLE, RAIANNE RICHARDS May 10, Mudville Music Room MARION CRANE, BLEEDING IN STEREO, GHOSTWITCH May 10, Jack Rabbits LETLIVE., ARCHITECTS, GLASS CLOUD, I THE MIGHTY May 10, Brewster’s Megaplex SMELLS LIKE GRUNGE (Nirvana Tribute) May 10, Burro Bar MIKE PINTO, B-SIDE PLAYERS, OJO DE BUEY May 11, Freebird Live CONOR OBERST, DAWES May 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YOU KNEW ME WHEN May 13, Underbelly CHER, CYNDI LAUPER May 14, Veterans Memorial Arena MIKE SHACKELFORD May 14, Mudville Music Room WOODY PINES May 15, Underbelly GLADYS KNIGHT May 16, T-U Center TEGAN & SARA, LUCIOUS, THE COURTNEYS May 16, P.V.C. Hall CRAFT BEER FEST: Something Distant May 16, Veterans Memorial Arena THE GIPSY KINGS May 16, The Florida Theatre SCREAM OUT LOUD, THE OFFER May 17, Murray Hill Theatre CHRIS BOTTI May 17, The Florida Theatre SUPERSUCKERS May 18, Jack Rabbits THE 1975 May 19, Freebird Live JACK JOHNSON, ALO May 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DALE CRICER, DELL SUGGS, BOB PATTERSON May 21, Mudville Music Room

STAGES & STEREOS, DARLING PARADE, THE ORPHAN THE POET May 21, Jack Rabbits ANTIQUE ANIMALS May 22, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach CRANFORD HOLLOW May 22, Jack Rabbits STYX, FOREIGNER, DON FELDER May 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Fusebox Funk, Herd of Watts, Groove Coalition, Heavy Pets, Big Something, Squeedlepuss, Wobbly Toms, Guy & the Yehudas, Goliath Flores, The Dog Apollo, Rickolus, Civil Brute, Jeremiah Johnson, Arvid Smith, Albert Ayler Commemoration May 23, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Moon Hooch, SPORE, Lumagrove, Dewars, Four Families, Canary in the Coalmine, This Frontier Needs Heroes, Snake Blood Remedy, Cougar Barrel, The Weighted Hands, Christina Wagner, The Sh-Booms, Mama Blue, Skeleton Bros., Goliath Flores, Albert Ayler Commemoration May 24, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Tambor, Naughty Professor, Noisebender & Joe Yorio, JacksonVegas, Parker Urban Band, Project Improv, Willie Evans Jr., Paten Locke, Patrick Evan, CoAlition, Universal Green, Whole Wheat Bread, All Night Wolves, Taylor Roberts May 25, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Museum UH HUH HER May 26, Jack Rabbits STEEZ CLICK, NATHAN RYAN, PHAT J, JJ DAMON, POTENT DA ROCKSTAR, PINKYKILLA, THROWDOWN KID May 28, Brewster’s Pit LADIES WITH LYRICS: Julie Durden, Rebecca Zapen, Brenda David May 30, Mudville Music Room TRAVELIN’ LIGHT, DEE ABOOD May 31, Mudville Music Room CHICAGO May 31, Metropolitan Park WEEZER June 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS June 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GRIM ZIPPER TOUR: Scum, Dmize, Statik of Rx June 6, Brewster’s Megaplex APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION (Guns N’ Roses tribute), RED & WHITE CRUE (MÜtley Crße tribute), Poison’d June 6, Freebird Live SONGWRITER’S CIRCLE ANNIVESARY: Larry Mangum, Mike Shackelford, Jamie DeFrates June 7, Mudville Music Room BOSTON June 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHRISTOPHER CROSS June 7, Metropolitan Park FLORIDA COUNTRY SUPERFEST: Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, Eric Church, Miranda Lambert, Florida Georgia Line, Little Big Town, Big & Rich, Easton Corbin, Colt Ford, Joe Nichols June 14-15, EverBank Field


THURSDAY Ivey West Band


SUNDAY River City Bluez Band Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD#FBDIr

MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 23

ROD MacDONALD June 14, Mudville Music Room COUNTING CROWS, TOAD THE WET SPROCKET June 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE ROUGH & TUMBLE June 17, Burro Bars GYPSY STAR, REBECCA ZAPEN June 19, Mudville Music Room GOO GOO DOLLS, DAUGHTRY, PLAIN WHITE T’S June 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ANDY KING’S SUMMER SOLSTICE SOIREE June 21, Mudville Music Room CRANFORD HOLLOW June 25, Jack Rabbits SUMMER HORNS: Dave Koz, Mindi Abair, Gerald Albright, Richard Elliot June 26, The Florida Theatre JIM CARRICK, MAJA GIATANA June 26, Mudville Music Room SOSOS June 28, Jack Rabbits DAVE MATTHEWS BAND July 15, Veterans Memorial Arena RAY LAMONTAGNE, JENNY LEWIS, THE BELLE BRIGADE July 15, The Florida Theatre JEREMY MESSERSMITH July 18, Jack Rabbits CULTURAL PROFETICA June 25, Freebird Live FALL OUT BOY, NEW POLITICS July 27, St. Aug. Amphitheatre ULTIMATE ELVIS BASH Aug. 9, The Florida Theatre PANIC! AT THE DISCO, WALK THE MOON, YOUNGBLOOD HAWKE Aug. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CONNECTION FESTIVAL: Kermit Ruffins & the BBQ Swingers, Less Than Jake, Surfer Blood, Whole Wheat Bread, Treme Brass Band, Orquestra el Macabeo, La Quilombera, This Frontier Needs Heroes, Jackie Stranger, Weekend Atlas, Northe, Ego Killer, Jah Elect & the I Quality Band, Universal Green, Orange Air, Alexis Rhode, Ryvls, Prof. Kilmure, The Gootch, AskMeIfICare, Dirty Automatic, Garrett on Acoustic, Tom Bennett Band, Mondo Mike & the Po Boys, Artilect, Oscar Mike, Kana Kiehm, Parker Urban Band, Knock for Six, Never Ending Struggle Sept. 12-14, Downtown Jacksonville 1964: THE TRIBUTE Sept. 13, The Florida Theatre MOTLEY CRUE, ALICE COOPER Oct. 19, Vets Memorial Arena


DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing every Fri. & Sat. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Working Class Stiff 9:30 p.m. every Tue. THE PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 Schnockered 9:30 p.m. March 30. Buck Smith every Tue. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 DJ Roc at 6 p.m. every Wed. Richard Smith 6 p.m. Fri. Honey Badgers every Sat.


BREWSTER’S MEGAPLEX, 845 University Blvd. N., 223-9850 Mike Tramp Solo Acoustic, River City Kats, Vintage Rose 7 p.m. March 27. Tesseract, Intronaut, Cloud Kicker 6 p.m. April 2 MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.


CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith every Tue. DJ Free every Fri. DJ SuZi-Rok every Mon. MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Toots Lorraine & the Traffic 10 p.m. April 18


(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) 200 FIRST STREET, Courtyard, Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Savannah 7 p.m. March 28. Jarell Harris March 29 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Irish music every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 3 the Band 10 p.m. March 28. Something Distant 10 p.m. March 29. Red Beard & Stinky E 10 p.m. every Thur. Darren Corlew every Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Wes Cobb every Thur. Charlie Walker Mon. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Drivin’ & Cryin’, Bryce Alastair Band 8 p.m. March 27. Fortunate Youth, Sidereal, True Press March 28. Rock N Roll Chrome, Denied Til Death, Running Rampant, Icon for Hire, Poor Richards 8 p.m. March 29. All Time Low, Man Overboard, Handguns 6 p.m. April 1 LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024 Open mic every Wed. Matt Still every Thur. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-518 Blistur 10 p.m. March 28 & 29. Be Easy Mon. Split Tone every Thur. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Paul Miller March 26. Wayback March 27. Catfish Alliance March 28. Carl & the Black Lungs March 29 MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Mike Shackelford & Rick Johnson every Thur. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Shane Dwight 9 p.m. April 4 & 5 NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Live music Wed.-Sun. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Elizabeth Rogers 7 p.m. March 27. Rebecca Day March 28. Job Meiller March 29 PIER CANTINA, 412 N. First St., 246-6454 Ryan Campbell & Charlie Walker every Fri. Split Tone every Sun. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Neil Dixon March 26. Ivey West Band March 27. Bush Doctors March 28 & 29. River City Blues Band March 30 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Bill Rice March 27. Amy Vickers March 28. Lance Neely March 29


1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Dangermuffin, Emma Moseley Band 8 p.m. March 26. The Floozies, S.P.O.R.E. March 27. Sophistafunk 9 p.m. March 29 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 677-2977 Your 33 Black Angels, The Greedy Lovers, Moon Cheese Babies 8 p.m. March 27. Ruffians, Sunspots, The Crowkeepers March 28. Grammar Tree, Orange Air, Kudos the Kid, M!F 8 p.m. March 29. Carrie Nation & the Speakeasy, Mudtown, Tail Light Rebellion March 30. The Funeral & the Twilight, Burnt Hair, Prostrate, Delphic Oracle March 31 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ NickFresh 9 p.m. every Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Braxton Adamson 5 p.m., Jig to a Milestone 8:30 p.m. March 28. Spade McQuade & the Allstars 8:30 p.m. March 29 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Hipp Street 8 p.m.-1 a.m. March 28. Natalie Nicole Green Band 8 p.m.-1 a.m. March 29. Kracka Jaxx April 2 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis Wed. DJ Vinn Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Country Tribute to the Women of the Military: Darryl Worley, Morgan Frazier, Jamie Davis, Rion Paige 6 p.m. March 29. Joe Buck, Big Tasty spin Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 353-6067 Dirty Bourbon River Show 9 p.m. March 27. Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band, Parker Urban Band, Copious Jones March 28. Mobb Depp April 2


MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Live music Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Spanky 9:30 p.m. March 28 & 29. Open mic 9 p.m. every Thur. Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. every Sun. DJ BG every Mon.


CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Big Baby Live 8 p.m. April 2 SALSA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 13500 Beach Blvd., 992-8402 Live guitar music 6-9 p.m. every Tue. & Sat.


HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine, 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri.


THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 Little Baby Giants March 27. DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Live music every Thur.-Sat.


PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Live music every Fri. & Sat. SoundStage Sun. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 Paxton & Mike at 6 p.m. March 26. Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. March 27. WillowWacks 7:30 p.m. March 28. Sovereign Vine March 29. Deron Baker April 2


KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor 8:30 p.m. every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Caledonia String Band 7 p.m., KB, Social Club, Brinson, CStraight 8 p.m. March 28. Riley Bragg March 29 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 North Florida Folk Network, Charley Simmons, Road Less Traveled, Larry Mangum, Dixie Rodeo 10:30 a.m. March 29 TOM & BETTY'S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Kim Reteguiz & Black Cat Bones March 28


A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Billy Bowers 8 p.m. March 27 ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Doug McRae March 28. Ric Welch March 29. Smokin’ Joe Open Mic April 1 CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Goran Ivanovic 9 p.m. March 28. Steve Poltz, Donny Brazile 8 p.m. March 30 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Mojo Roux 7-11 p.m. March 28. Gary Douglas Campbell 2-5 p.m., Mojo Roux 7-11 p.m. March 29. Vinny Jacobs 2-5 p.m. March 30 HARRY’S SEAFOOD, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. March 26 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040 Yankee Slickers at 9 p.m. March 28 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 2/3rds Band 9 p.m. March 28 & 29 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Hooch 9 p.m. March 28 & 29. Matanzas Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth Sat.


BLACKFINN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music 5 p.m. every Wed., 9 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.


JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Dave Hause, Northcote, Beau Crum 7 p.m. March 26. Yonas, Pell, Drazah, The Specktators, GHBreezie, Sean Picasso 8 p.m. March 27. Protest the hero, Battlecross, Safety Fire, Intervals, Night/Versus March 28. The Mowglis, Misterwives, Buried Beds March 29. Rickolous, Rivers and Lakes, Julie Karr, Fjord Explorer March 30 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Scotland’s Battlefield Band 7:30 p.m. March 26. John Flynn 7:30 p.m. March 27. Still on the Hill, Chris Emerson, Ty Bennett 7:30 p.m. March 29


ILATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Didactic at 9 p.m. March 27. TPTS 9 p.m. March 28 & 29 SEVEN BRIDGES, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Live music Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley March 26. Chilly Rhino March 27. Second Shot March 28. Rusted Diamond March 29


DAMES POINT MARINA, 4542 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Chrome Heart 2 p.m. March 30. Live music every Fri. & Sat. HWY. 17 ROADHOUSE, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 225-9211 Mike Miller Band 10 p.m. March 28. Joe Santana's Kingfish 3 p.m. March 30. Live music Fri. & Sat. THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Open mic 7 p.m. March 27. Mama Blue April 1.  For a complete live music list, go to To submit your event, email or Deadline for print is 4 p.m. Friday.

24 | | MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014





f you think you know and love the movies, you have a chance to prove it at this weekend’s WJCT 3x5 Classic Film Festival. Each of the five films playing Friday through Sunday at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall is the genuine article, a timeless classic that, 60 years and more later, still connects with audiences in terms of entertainment and artistic achievement. The festival kicks off Friday at 8 p.m. with Citizen Kane (1941), the single greatest film ever made (IMHO). Co-written, produced and directed by 26-year-old Orson Welles (who also starred), the film is simply staggering in terms of its technical bravura and thematic substance. An unparalleled masterpiece, Citizen Kane is practically a textbook on film narrative and technique. The chance to see it on the big screen, likely a first for many First Coast fans, should be incentive enough. The Wizard of Oz plays at 2 p.m. Saturday, followed by Frank Capra’s Mr. Smith Goes to Washington at 5 p.m. Both premiered in 1939 on the brink of World War II, each an example of the variety and quality of The Golden Age of Hollywood. I have nothing new to add about Oz except that it should look great and sound terrific in the concert hall. As for Mr. Smith, in our own age of political cynicism, the film might prove an eye-opener. Sure, it’s genuinely sentimental and idealistic with its contrived happy ending, but in its time the movie was deemed subversive and antiAmerican in prominent quarters. Anchored in the Great Depression with the war in Europe on the horizon, Mr. Smith is also a penetrating look at the American Dream in a mood not too substantially different from our own. The festival’s Saturday offerings wrap up with Bogart and Bacall steamin’ and smolderin’ in Howard Hawks’ The Big Sleep (1946), screened at 8 p.m. The blackand-white film is based on the novel by Raymond Chandler with a screenplay by William Faulkner. Bogie is Philip Marlowe, a quintessential private eye with an ethical code, in a convoluted plot about bad girls, bad guys and one murder that (according to screen lore) neither Faulkner nor Chandler could adequately explain. Shelved for a year after filming, the movie was re-edited with some new scenes that better exploited the undeniable chemistry between the off-screen couple, a rare example of post-production influence that actually worked. Bogie’s Sam Spade was considerably meaner and more ruthless in The Maltese Falcon (1941), arguably the first film noir, whereas Sleep tempers the first film’s cynicism with more traditional values and, of course, the young Ms. Bacall. What a treat to watch them trade quips as the body count adds up! The festival closes Sunday with a 2 p.m. showing of Hitchcock’s Notorious (1946), a rich, thematically complex tale of love, mistrust and betrayal as Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman try to infiltrate a nest of postwar Nazis and sort out their own complicated relationship. Filmed in gorgeous black-and-white, nothing is simple in this sometimes overlooked classic by one of the great directors, here at his most playful and inventive as he breaks the rules and revises the grammar of film, ratcheting up suspense and romance in the process. For details and prices to individual film showings as well as attendant workshops and events, call 209-0399. 

Pat McLeod

**** ***@ **@@ *@@@




TONY REVOLORI Revolori, who plays lobby boy Zero Moustafa, who narrates the story as an adult (played by F. Murray Abraham), is on hand for the sneak preview screening of The Grand Budapest Hotel, 7:15 p.m. March 26 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, $12-$15, 359-0049, ELTON JOHN: THE MILLION DOLLAR PIANO The live concert taped at The Colosseum at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas features a behind-the-scenes look at the making of John’s 1973 album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, screened at 7 p.m. March 26 at AMC Regency Square, AMC Orange Park, Cinemark Tinseltown and Regal Avenues Cinema. SUN-RAY CINEMA Caddyshack, in homage to the late Harold Ramis, screens at 7:15 p.m. March 27. Mistaken for Strangers screens at 7:15 p.m. April 2. The new TV series Cosmos screens at 10 p.m. every Mon.; check with the theater for day/date updates on that. Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, LATITUDE 30 MOVIES Gravity and Nut Job are currently screened at Latitude 30’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555, WJCT 3X5 FILM FESTIVAL Opens with a reception held 7 p.m. March 28, featuring pianist John Thomas. For details, see Magic Lanterns, left. Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0367, $7.50; 5/$25,, WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME IMAX THEATER Divergent: An IMAX Experience, We the People, Jerusalem 3D, Great White Shark 3D, Tornado Alley 3D and To the Arctic 3D are screened at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, Island of Lemurs Madagascar 3D opens April 4.


3 DAYS TO KILL Rated PG-13 Kevin Costner, who’s suddenly everywhere these days, plays a terminally ill Secret Service agent who’s got one last chance to live if he takes a new drug … and goes on a final top-secret mission. Hmmm – life-saving drug vs. killing another human being? Toss me that Glock. 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE *G@@ Rated R Evil superbitch Persian naval offi cer Artemisia (Eva Green) is smarter, more competent and more ambitious than all the men she commands. Director Noam Murro’s action/Greek mythology fl ick co-stars Sullivan Stapleton, Lena Headey and Hans Matheson. BAD WORDS **G@ Rated R • Opens March 28 Reviewed in this issue. DIVERGENT Rated PG-13 In the future, apparently, what faction you belong to depends on what virtues you practice. (Kinda like where you sit at church suppers, only there’s probably no peach cobbler. Dammit.) Anyway, Beatrice Prior (Shailene Woodley) is labeled a Divergent, a group of misfits considered so dangerous that their destruction is in the planning stages. So she hooks up with another outcast type – Four (Theo James), who’s really just one person. Co-stars Kate Winslet, Ashley Judd, Miles Teller, Zoë Kravitz. FROZEN ***G Rated PG Disney’s Oscar-winning animated feature about sisters Princess Anna (Kristen Bell) and Queen Elsa (Idina Menzel), in this Golden Globe-winner. And hey, parents, check out details for the sing-along at some theaters – “Let It Go” won a Best Original Song Oscar! GOD’S NOT DEAD Rated PG Josh Wheaton (Shane Harper) is a college student having a little trouble in his philosophy class. Professor Radisson (the yummy Kevin Sorbo, who played Hercules on TV) doesn’t believe there is a God, shaking Josh’s faith. Co-stars Dean Cain and Willie Robertson. THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL **G@ Rated R • Opens March 28, Sun-Ray Cinema Reviewed in this issue. THE GREAT BEAUTY ***G Not Rated Directed by Paolo Sorrentino, the film stars Toni Servillo as Jep, a journalist and socialite. After celebrating his 65th birthday in the style of a hedonistic prince, Jep begins to question his life and his whole world. THE LEGO MOVIE ***@ Rated PG Writers and directors Chris Miller and Phillip Lord’s popular, subversive animated feature about colorful toy bricks co-stars the vocal talents of Jonah Hill,

CINDERELLA STORY: Sun-Ray Cinema screens the comedy classic Caddyshack on March 27 to honor its director and co-writer, the late Harold Ramis, who died in February. Channing Tatum, Will Arnett, Chris Pratt and Will Ferrell. THE MONUMENTS MEN Rated PG-13 George Clooney directs and stars in this fact-based film about a group of un-soldier types – think the opposite of The Dirty Dozen – museum curators, historians and art experts who go into enemy territory during WWII to save thousands of stolen masterpieces from destruction by the Nazis. Co-stars Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman and the adorable Bob Balaban. MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Rated PG We remember these guys from the Rocky and His Friends (which included Bullwinkle, who always had the wrong hat) TV cartoon series; Sherman was the kinda dopey human boy, adopted by an inventive, scholarly dog, Mr. Peabody. We especially miss the Wayback Machine, which we never knew was actually spelled WABAC. Huh. Co-stars voices of Ty Burrell, Allison Janney and Stephen Colbert. MUPPETS MOST WANTED ***@ Rated PG The whole gang is back – Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, The Great Gonzo, Scooter, Animal, Beaker, Lew Zealand – this time touring the globe. There’s an evil Kermie look-alike who’s involved in a jewelry heist in Europe, and Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais (you’ll never convince us he’s funny) and Ty Burrell (as humans) are also nefarious types. The vocal talents of stalwart Muppeteers include Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz, Bill Barretta, David Rudman and Matt Vogel. There’s a bunch of cameos: Sean Combs, Céline Dion, Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett, Zach Galifianakis, Josh Groban, Salma Hayek, Frank Langella, Ray Liotta, Toby Jones, James McAvoy, Saoirse Ronan, Stanley Tucci … waitasec … Josh Groban? NEED FOR SPEED **G@ Rated PG-13 Director Scott Waugh must have a sizeable sack to make this car-chase movie. Aaron Paul stars as Tobey Marshall, a gearhead in upstate New York trying to keep his family’s body shop afloat while scratching out extra money in late-night street races. But his need for cash to save the business leads to an encounter with one-time rival-turned-pro-racer Dino Brewster (Dominic Cooper) that ends tragically, with Tobey off to jail. Two years on, his shot at redemption is facing Dino in a high-stakes race, driving a souped-up Mustang cross-country, with Julia (Imogen Poots), a flunky of the car’s owner, riding shotgun. The coast-to-coast journey with Tobey’s willing wingmen (Scott Mescudi, Rami Malek, Ramon Rodriguez) also features Tobey’s ex-girlfriend/ now Dino’s, Anita (Dakota Johnson). NOAH Rated PG-13 It’s gotten fairly good reviews, but did this really need to be a movie? Russell Crowe stars as the patriarch who’s acutely aware of the weather forecast – God as meteorologist has told him a great flood is coming and he’d better hightail it to the seas with his family and a lot of animals if he wants to survive. Co-stars Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, Nick Nolte and Emma Watson. NON-STOP Rated PG-13 Liam Neeson may have found his niche as an action hero, despite his astonishing turn as Oskar Schindler. Here he’s an air marshal being texted by a bad guy on a transatlantic flight, threatening to kill passengers unless he gets $150 million. Co-stars Julianne Moore, Nate Parker.

RIDE ALONG Rated PG-13 Kevin Hart is a smart-mouthed security guard engaged to Angela (Tika Sumpter) whose brother James (Ice Cube) is a cop. Co-stars John Leguizamo and Jay Pharoah. ROBOCOP *@@@ Rated PG-13 This dreadful reboot of the 1987 cult classic is 108 minutes of blah action and half-measures. Co-stars Samuel L. Jackson, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton. SABOTAGE Rated R Serious badass action movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington and Terrence Howard. DEA agents are picked off like so many ducks in a carnival shooting gallery after they piss off some nice drug lords. THE SINGLE MOMS CLUB Rated PG-13 Tyler Perry has churned out another pleasant, sexy, movie-with-a-moral about … duh … unmarried mothers. These ladies (Nia Long, Amy Smart, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Cocoa Brown, Zulay Henao) bond over their kids’ school problems, then become friends. Co-stars Ryan Eggold, Eddie Cibrian, William Levy and Mr. Perry, who also wrote and directed. Terry Crews, too, who plays Sgt. Terry Jeffords in TV cop comedy Brooklyn Nine-Nine. SON OF GOD **@@ Rated PG-13 Devout Christians may find it powerful, casual church-goers may find it moving but a bit heavy-handed, and non-Christians and nonbelievers will probably think it’s preachy. Mark Burnett and Roma Downey, who plays Mary, produced. Co-stars Sebastian Knapp, Adrian Schiller (Caiaphas), Diogo Morgado (Jesus) and Amber Rose Revah (Mary Magdalene). Every time we type the title of this movie, we can’t help but think of National Lampoon’s terrific Son-O’-God Comics, by the great Sean Kelly. Now that was some holy shit. TIM’S VERMEER Rated PG-13 Tim Jenison is an inventor who seeks to demystify the painting practices of 17th-century Dutch Master Johannes Vermeer, whose innovative use of light and color is most notable in Girl with a Pearl Earring. Penn and Teller appear in this doc, as does droll comedian Martin Mull. VERONICA MARS Rated PG-13 Veronica (Kristen Bell) was a private eye when she was just a high-school girl; now she’s back for a class reunion and gets roped into helping solve a murky murder. And wouldn’t you just know it? Her ex-flame from back in the day – what did she see in him? – is knee-deep in the intrigue. Co-stars Jason Dohring, Krysten Ritter and Jerry O’Connell (the Stand By Me fat kid who grew up hot). THE WIND RISES **G@ Rated PG-13 Hayao Miyazaki’s animated biopic features Jirô Horikoshi (voiced by Joseph Gordon-Levitt), who happily designed fighter planes for megalomaniacal Japanese military in WWII. Miyazaki follows him through the great Kanto Earthquake of 1923, to his early years designing aircraft for Mitsubishi, to his courtship of tubercular Nahoko (Emily Blunt), to his visit to Germany where he learns how the Junkers build warplanes. Jirô’s wife grows sicker as his fighter plane designs improve. In the end, though, as Jirô walks through a dreamscape of broken planes, he mourns the fact that his planes never came back. 

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THE STYLE IS ENOUGH Wes Anderson’s latest – a mad, cross-country caper – has too many cameos and not enough plot

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our stay at The Grand Budapest Hotel might not be emotionally fulfilling. You might even find some of the rooms uninviting. Yet, in typical Wes Anderson fashion, its impeccable design and je ne sais quoi will win you over. In fact, you may even recommend that your friends book a stay, too, though you’ll likely decline a return visit for yourself. Unless you’ve been living in an underground tunnel — like the ones in the writer-director’s Fantastic Mr. Fox, arguably his best work — Anderson needs little introduction. It’s worth mentioning, though, that he’s one artist people either get or don’t. Fans embrace almost everything Anderson, from the offbeat humor to the understated and often deadpan performances, to the deliberate tracking shots and fast pans, to the unique worlds he creates in almost every film. If you’re not a fan, you might appreciate those elements, but you don’t enjoy them, and may be driven slightly mad by the contrivances. Absent a real point or true emotion, they are sometimes far less than the sum of their beautiful parts, you might argue. If you take the latter view, Grand Budapest will not change your mind about Anderson. But if you’re a groupie, dig in; the director’s latest is a delicious feast of color and eccentricity, though the plot drags it down during the third act. Set mostly in the 1930s in the imaginary European country of Zubrowka on the eve of a fictional war, this is a story within a story within a story, with that extra layer added seemingly just to amuse Anderson. Tom Wilkinson opens as the 1980s narrator/author, only to pass off that job to Jude Law, who again passes it off to F. Murray Abraham, who, as the 1960s version of Zero Moustafa, the hotel’s former lobby boy, offers special insight into

necessary — from the likes of Edward the legendary and peculiar character of Norton, Jeff Goldblum, Harvey Keitel, Monsieur Gustave H., played impeccably by Saoirse Ronan, Bill Murray, Bob Balaban, Ralph Fiennes. Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe and, Gustave was the hotel of course, Jason Schwartzman concierge — and its heart and soul — during THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL and Owen Wilson. **G@ its heyday, but he ran Though, on one level, the into trouble when he film’s an interesting meditation Rated R • Opens March 28 unexpectedly became a on faded glory, it’s mostly just at Sun-Ray Cinema main beneficiary of the a rambunctious rococo romp estate of Madame D., infused with chapter titles, a wealthy hotel patron (Tilda Swinton). It changing aspect ratios, inspired art direction, seems that Gustave, in addition to taking funicular railways, downhill ski races, prison great care of his elderly female guests, breaks and multiple other amusements, but had also befriended and serviced them in possessing little coherence. It’s style over order to worm his way into their wills. This substance but, as usual with Anderson, the obviously didn’t sit well with the relatives, style is enough.  who accused Gustave of murder. A mad, Cameron Meier cross-country caper ensues, complete with a smorgasbord of cameos — not all of them


RIGHT THIS WAY Tony Revolori, Wes Anderson’s ‘lobby boy,’ on Anderson’s quirky

obsessions, working with legends and his photographic memory


n late 2012, director Wes Anderson had a His co-stars have told the media that specific image in his mind for the character Revolori knew the entire script from the first of Zero Moustafa, a young lobby boy of day on set. “I have a photographic memory,” some fictional and fantastical concoction Revolori says, “so I’m always able to remember of Middle Eastern descent. Given that, it’s quite a bit more than the rest of the cast. I learned the script inside out and studied entirely unsurprising that Tony Revolori and the storyboard animations going in. I had his older brother Mario were both finalists for memorized exactly every The Grand Budapest Hotel’s starring role. detail and tried to “It was very tough,” says be as professional as I Revolori, who was 16 at the possibly could.” time. “We had to read the This attention to detail script on-site, so we didn’t made him a great partner have a chance to prepare for Anderson, who has a in any way. We just did the reputation for being very best we could.” particular, sometimes to After one more callthe point of obsession, back interview, for which about every nuance of Revolori took an eccentric daytrip to Paris a scene, down to an inflection of speech solely for dinner with Anderson, he was offered or a miniature set piece in the corner of and accepted the part. the room. Revolori was somewhat familiar with Anderson’s films and style — about as Today, Revolori is living the life of a familiar as the average filmgoer. “He thinks of star, scheduled to appear on NBC’s Today on Wednesday, March 26, before flying every little detail in this world,” Revolori says. to Jacksonville for an “He knows what he wants. appearance at Sun-Ray Which is good, because Cinema. Back then, however, then the cast has a good TONY REVOLORI the young actor was idea of what he wants, and Revolori makes an appearance preparing to lead the usual, we can work together to during a screening of The Grand star-studded suspects of make that happen. He’ll take Budapest Hotel, at 7:15 p.m. Anderson’s films, including 42 takes, if need be, to get March 26 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, $12-$15, Bill Murray, Willem Dafoe, that right take.” 359-0049, Jeff Goldblum and Ralph For now, Revolori Fiennes, among others. He is happy to be back in was intimidated, he admits, sunny California, a sharp but the pressure drove him contrast from the bleak, but to work harder. And soon he realized that he charming, atmosphere of Gorlitz, Germany, was a natural fit for the character. where the movie was shot. “The hardest part was the first day I had to “[The connection] was fairly immediate,” run through snow,” he says, recalling a scene says Revolori, who grew up in Anaheim, Calif., where his and Ralph Fiennes’ characters are and comes from a Guatemalan family. “Zero being chased by authorities on sled. “I fell like really speaks to me. He is this innocent and 30 times. That day was a doozy of a day.”  inexperienced character. I was inexperienced to the grand stage of acting. It was wonderful to Travis Crawford share that in common.”

“Zero really speaks to me. He is this innocent and inexperienced character.”

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NOT BAD ENOUGH Jason Bateman’s directorial debut lacks

the courage of its misanthropic convictions BAD WORDS

(Rohan Chand), a precocious 10-year-old Indian-American who craves Guy’s friendship. Reluctantly, Trilby accepts the boy when it becomes clear that they both suffer from daddy hough I think it really wants to be, Bad © 2014 issues. Sneaking out after hours, he introduces Words just isn’t all that bad. Not really. the perpetually chipper kid to the disreputable Oh, it tries. Jason Bateman’s Guy Trilby joys of shoplifting, vandalism, booze and is a mean-spirited, grade-A prick. And he’s boobies. Many of the laughs come, of course, got more than a few perfectly timed insults courtesy Chaitanya’s wide-eyed innocence and dirty tricks waiting to be unleashed on colliding with Guy’s ferociously bad behavior. an unsuspecting target. But as Bad Words’ Referring to the kid as “Slumdog” or “Shawarma” opening voice-over narration indicates, there’s and telling him to shut his curry-hole are easy something wounded at the heart of Guy’s laughs, but Bateman’s a master of comic timing nastiness. Plus, let’s face it, Bateman, who and his jokes hit more than they miss. embraces his rude and crude character with I do wish first-time screenwriter Andrew gusto, is too innately affable for us to despise. In a world filled with bad Santas, bad teachers and Dodge had given his protagonist worthier targets, though. bad grandpas, Instead of using his foul-mouthed Instead of using his shock value his shock value asshole probably tactics to take down sacred cows, tactics to take down comes closer sacred cows, Guy to Cameron Guy comes across as a bitter prankster. 2014 comes across as Diaz’s conniving a bitter prankster schoolmarm who uses racism and sexism as a humorously than Billy Bob Thornton’s unrepentantly profane cudgel. A companion who attended misanthropic Kris Kringle. the screening with me rightly asked how Forty-year-old Guy is an eighth-grade much audiences would have laughed if the kid dropout, which allows him to exploit a had been black and Guy’s potty-mouth slurs loophole in the rules of the Golden Quill included such irreverent monikers as “Trayvon” Spelling Bee’s annual competition. A copy or “Little Jungle Bunny.” editor by trade, Guy uses psychological warfare What make such criticisms particularly and his photographic memory to decimate valid is Bad Words’ sentimental copout in the his much-younger competition in regional final act, which tries to explain away Trilby’s bees, earning him the wrath of just about venomous cruelties. Unlike Bad Santa, which every parent alive. Now qualified to compete had the courage of its misanthropic convictions, in the national championship, which, not Bateman’s movie (this is the first feature film he’s coincidentally, will be televised for the first directed) wants us to indulge Guy’s antisocial time, he runs afoul of the Golden Quill’s prim behavior while letting us off the hook with the tournament administrator, Dr. Bernice Deagan message that says, “Hey, deep down, he’s really (Allison Janney), and its distinguished director, a good guy whose plan for revenge went a little Dr. Bowman (Philip Baker Hall). Why is too far.” In other words, this black comedy Trilby doing all this? That’s what sponsor and wannabe ends up plucking at the heartstrings online journalist Jenny Widgeon (Kathryn when it should be going for the jugular.  Hahn) hopes to uncover as Guy clears his path to victory. The only thing standing in our Jeff Meyers anti-hero’s way is doe-eyed Chaitanya Chopra **G@ Rated R • Opens March 28



28 | | MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014


LONG AGO AND FAR AWAY Jacksonville artist Jim Smith obsessively mixes history and surrealism in steampunk installations By Nick McGregor

Photos: Dennis Ho


s British satirist Alan Patrick Herbert once said of artists, “A highbrow is the kind who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.” But what about the artist who looks at a sausage and sees only a beautiful piece of meat? Or the artist who thinks Picasso was an expert at expressing concrete emotion through abstract art? Where does that artist fit in? Such is the dilemma of Jacksonville sculptor Jim Smith, whose steampunk assemblages — diorama-like mechanical prototypes of imagined Victorian-era objects — straddle the fine line between highbrow art and universally appealing work. The 62-year-old artist’s most ambitious installation yet, five 8-foot-by-14-foot panels containing nearly a thousand 4-inch-by-12-inch cigar boxsized steampunk assemblages, go on public display on Saturday, March 29, at 914 King St. at a reception organized by Folio Weekly contributor Abigail Wright. Steve Flores and Ed Salem, owners of Kickbacks Gastropub, commissioned the work from Smith to visually anchor their new business, an “international comfort food restaurant” called Goozlepipe & Guttyworks, scheduled to open in May. Flores’ and Salem’s intentions to redevelop the space, which is adjacent to Kickbacks, originally ran into several protests from the Riverside Avondale Preservation neighborhood group. But those problems were smoothed over in January, allowing Smith full entrée to compile the largest of his three site-specific art installations in Jacksonville. Many of the assemblages on display at 914 King St. directly echo the obsession with techno-surrealist sci-fi that dominates the steampunk aesthetic. There’s Edgar Allan Poe’s machine to cure melancholia, Alexander Graham Bell’s telephone-like device to better communicate with his profoundly deaf parents,

a device to reanimate a broken heart, H.G. Wells’ time-travel suit, and a séance machine intended to contact Harry Houdini in the afterlife. To be clear, none of these objects was ever created or owned by any of those visionaries. But all are instantly recognizable to anyone passingly familiar with steampunk’s primary aesthetic palette: gold, copper, brass, cast iron, clocks, dark wood. “As a steampunk artist, you really need to be aware of history,” Smith

“I think of these pieces as little historical novels, which often contain hard facts while having many other storylines that you can’t prove.” says. “I think of these pieces as little historical novels, which often contain hard facts while having many other storylines that you can’t prove. But all of them speak to historical fascinations, and their subjects run the gamut from love to happiness to money to greed to sex — all the things Shakespeare wrote about, basically.” Central to Smith’s work is his own Shakespearean legend that he created several years ago to combat the affliction of arrogant or nonsensical artist statements (“For me, the easier way was to come up with this make-believe story,” he says). So here goes:

In 1987, Smith was contacted by one Martha Doyle Jennings, the great-granddaughter of Sherlock Holmes author Arthur Conan Doyle. Jennings had received a notice informing her of a derelict family property in France that the government planned to destroy to make way for The Chunnel, an underwater rail tunnel connecting France and the UK. Inside the property were thousands of scientific and social prototypes collected by Doyle during his lifetime, and Jennings sent Smith to salvage and catalog everything. Smith says that though the story in any format is clearly labeled with a “THIS IS A LEGEND” disclaimer, he still gets inquiries into why his artifacts aren’t roped off in museums or insured by major banks. “Once I explain the whole thing and say, ‘No, it’s made up — they look real, but they’re only real art,’ sometimes people get offended,” Smith says. That’s why he’ll have steampunk enthusiasts — some dressed in era-appropriate garb, some not — present at the reception, to add an interactive, historical and performance-art aspect to the evening. For those snickering at the idea of “steampunk” as a legitimate art form, or the prospect of eager enactors from the Cowford Steampunk Society talking about fictionalized objects, consider Smith’s background as a steampunk artist. Working as a painter in New York City in the 1960s, Smith kept adding objects to his work until it was nearly three-dimensional — at which point a friend said, “Get out of the closet, Jim. You’re a sculptor, not a painter. Be a sculptor.” His fascination with objects — “They resonate with me, and I feel I can read their aura,” Smith says — quickly deepened. Influenced by flourishing Pop Art icons like Robert Rauschenberg and Andy Warhol, box art progenitor Joseph MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 29

A&E // ARTS Jules Verne. The city’s Jules Verne Museum Cornell — whom Smith says “is to assemblage art what Pollock is to abstract art: anybody who is even negotiating with Smith to display some of his work there in 2015, though the works in that vein must pay homage to him” financial challenges of transatlantic sculpture — and by New York’s developing performance transportation present the biggest obstacle to art scene, Smith heeded his friend’s advice and securing such a monumental deal. dived headfirst into three-dimensional work. But Smith says that regular travels to Moving to Jacksonville in 1977 to start his France, including Nantes and its steampunk teaching career, Smith eventually earned his theme park Isle of the Machines, have master’s degree from Jacksonville University actually helped him expand his own artistic and secured a job teaching at Bolles School. horizons. “I think art is a calling. As my In the early 2000s, in one of his Bolles website says, it’s one of the few compulsions classrooms, Smith was working on one of that’s socially acceptable,” he says. “It’s part his many assemblages. A student told him of your DNA. I go in withdrawal when I’m that the work was clearly in the steampunk unable to make sculptures, which is why I vein. “At first I said, ‘What is that?’ ” Smith learned to take pictures when my partner remembers. “So I went online and did some and I go to France every summer since I’m research and realized it was pretty close. unable to make sculptures. My photography A good metaphor would be ‘same church, is mostly just OK, but it’s like methadone for different pew.’ ” a junkie in that, if I couldn’t make art at all, Smith’s goal with his steampunk work is I’d be a crazy man.” to have it always be viewed as more serious Yet Smith has reconciled his obsessive than mere “kitschy whirligigs and silly artistic urges with his four-decade career widgets.” “The main thing I try to avoid is as an award-winning and highly influential movement, even thought the pieces look like schoolteacher. “Teaching is a wonderful they could move,” he says. “I want the viewer thing,” he says. “Often artists spend a lot to believe that what they are seeing is true of time in their studios and never have the and real. I want my pieces to be taken more opportunity to hear what seriously as a whole body of other people think. But I work, like a Rolling Stones believe I’m the only man or The Beatles album. The my age who understands individual songs are cool, SMITH’S STEAMPUNK what cray-cray means or but listening to them as a INSTALLATION RECEPTION knows the words to Lady collective makes for a richer 7 p.m. March 29, 914 King St. Gaga songs. I even found experience.” (by Kickbacks Gastropub), out recently that I do not Riverside, Free, Part of his work’s have swag, which was really organic nature stems from events/212637358945153 upsetting! I’m being light the fact that he creates about it, but I’ve learned so many of his own materials many interesting, aesthetic from found or reclaimed things from my students that have been so sources. “I jokingly tell people that when it important to my art.” comes to materials, I’m an art whore,” Smith Which makes a lot of sense when you says. “I can’t say no. Brass light fixtures, realize that placing Smith’s fantastical yet granite blocks — I even had someone give historically rooted steampunk art on either me plastic globes they thought I’d use in a side of the highbrow-versus-lowbrow steampunk piece that I ended up using for a divide is impossible. “Highbrow art often site-specific installation at the Jacksonville Arboretum inspired by Monet and Jeff leaves me questioning, cold and with no Koontz that wasn’t steampunk at all. So I’ll response,” he says. “The idea as an artist is take anything and everything. You never to have a narrative; you should be able to know how something might get used.” communicate.” Comparing Mozart’s revered status as a classical music titan with his Although Smith has displayed or installed original role composing and playing music his art at several local Jacksonville venues, for the 16th-century masses, Smith adds, including The Cummer Museum, the “If you can’t speak the language and make Museum of Contemporary Art, Hendricks people understand what you’re doing, you Avenue Baptist Church and Southlight Art shouldn’t be doing it.”  Gallery, he says his steampunk displays sell best in Europe, particularly in Nantes, the hometown of steampunk godfather

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THE COLOR PURPLE The play, based on Alice Walker’s novel and Steven Spielberg’s film, is staged at 8 p.m. March 26-April 27, matinees at 1:15 p.m. Sat. and 2 p.m. Sun., at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38-$55, 641-1212, ANGELS IN AMERICA The Pulitzer-winning play explores guilt, compassion, sexual identity, right-wing conservatism and America at the millennium; 8 p.m. March 27-29 at Players by the Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $20-$23, 249-0289, A RAISIN IN THE SUN The play, based on Lorraine Hansberry’s classic novel, film and Tony Award-winning play, is the story of a black Chicago family’s struggle for dignity and the troubles they face, 7 p.m. March 28, 6 p.m. March 29 and April 5, and 3 p.m. March 30 and April 6 at Stage Aurora Performance Hall, 5188 Norwood Ave., Northside, $15-$20, 765-7372, BREAKING LEGS In Tom Dulack’s comedy, the worlds of the mob and theater collide when a playwright seeks funding for his new play from the “family” of a former student, who turn out to be Mafia godfathers, March 28-April 13 (8 p.m. Fri. and Sat., 3 p.m. Sun.) at Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park, $15, 276-2599, THE MISS FIRECRACKER CONTEST As Carnelle rehearses for Miss Firecracker, her cousin Elaine, a former Miss Firecracker, shows up. 2 p.m. March 30 on Limelight Theatre’s Matuza Main Stage, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $10-$25, 825-1164, BRING IT ON In this high-flying musical, inspired by the film, cheerleaders bond over the challenge of extreme competition, 7:30 p.m. April 1 at the T-U Center’s Moran Theater, $45.50-$76.50, 442-2929, PAUL ANKA The acclaimed singer-songwriter best known for Diana, My Way and Lonely Boy and for writing the Academy Award-nominated theme for The Longest Day (the 1962 film in which he also starred) performs 7:30 p.m. April 3 at the T-U Center’s Moran Theater, $68.50-$108.50, 442-2929, THE DROWSY CHAPERONE A clever tribute to “The Great American Musical” tradition, the snarky-edged production is about a rabid musical theater fan who recreates his favorite cast album, telling a comical tale of a celebrity bride and her zany wedding day. 7:30 p.m. April 3-5 and 3 p.m. April 6 at Jacksonville University’s Swisher Theater, 2800 University Blvd. N., University, $5-$15, 256-7370, SWAMP RADIO: HOW’S YA MAMA AND THEM Swamp Radio, a Spark Grant project of the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville, stages an early celebration of Mother’s Day, featuring Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, The WillowWacks and Irish storyteller Derek Coghlan, 3 p.m. April 6 at the T-U Center, $22.50-30$, 442-2929, BOEING BOEING Douglas Anderson Main Stage Theatre presents the 1960s French farce revived on Broadway in a Tony-winning 2008 production about a successful French architect juggling three flight attendant fiancées – an American, a German and an Italian. 7:30 p.m. April 10-12 at the school, 2445 San Diego Road, Southside, $10-$12, 346-5620, NICE PEOPLE DANCING Eve Wilfong, who lives over the Nice People Dancing to Good Country Music Bar, is visited by her niece, a novice nun who’s been asked to leave the convent. 8 p.m. April 10-26 (matinees 2 p.m. April 13 and 20) at ACT’s Studio 209 Theatre, 209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, $18$20, 261-6749, THE LYONS At her dying husband’s bedside, Rita Lyons reads glossy magazines, planning to redecorate when he’s gone. Their adult children appear, and we see the Lyons’ dysfunction; 8 p.m. April 11-26 (matinees 2 p.m. April 13 and 20) at Players by the Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $20$23, 249-0289, OTHER DESERT CITIES Brooke Wyeth returns to Palm Springs to see her parents after a six-year absence. A once-promising novelist, she tells them of the upcoming publication of a memoir dredging up a pivotal, tragic moment in their history; 8 p.m. April 18-May 11 on Limelight Theatre’s Matuza Main Stage, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $1025, 825-1164, A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM The worlds of literature and dance collide in this production based on Shakespeare’s comedy; 2 and 7 p.m. April 26 and 2 p.m. April 27 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $30, 745-3000,

MONEY TALKS: Comedian Chris Tucker, who returned to acting with his role in Silver Linings Playbook, jumps back on the stand-up stage, March 28-30 at The Comedy Zone. 8 p.m. April 4-6 and 10 p.m. April 5 and 6 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $22-$27.50, 292-4242, MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly shows based on audience suggestion are held 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359,


OLIVER! Auditions for the musical (to be directed by Tom Fallon) for ages 8-15 are held from 1-5 p.m. April 5 and for ages 16 and older from 6-9 p.m. April 6 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $65, 825-1164, ACTEEN STAGE LAB Children and teens in grades 6-12 learn street style and ambush theater at 6:30 p.m. every Wed. at Limelight Theatre, $80 per session, 825-1164, ACTORS WORKSHOP Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre holds an eight-week actors’ workshop, 6 p.m. every Sun., March 26-April 13 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $160 (half at registration, half at first

class plan available), 249-7177, KATE MAURY ARTIST TALK University of WisconsinStout professor Maury, author of art books Making Marks: Discovering the Ceramic Surface, The Art of Contemporary American Pottery and High Fire Glazes, discusses her work, 6 p.m. March 27 in Flagler College’s Ponce Hall Solarium, 74 King St., St. Augustine, free, 829-6481, KNOW YOUR PALETTE Artist Jennie Szaltis offers a workshop 6:30 p.m. March 28, 10 a.m. March 29 and 1 p.m. March 30, at Jennie’s Studio, 3921 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $175 for weekend, 325-3959, ROWITA AWARDS The St. Johns Cultural Council holds its sixth annual Dr. Gail Pflaster ROWITA Awards ceremony, 6 p.m. March 30 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, free, 825-1164, CUMMER MUSEUM GARDEN MONTH The Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens presents a garden-to-table dinner, featuring locally sourced and seasonal fresh foods prepared by local chefs, 5:30 p.m. March 31, $150-$200; 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, YOUNG ARTISTS MUSIC COMPETITION Clay County students in grades 6-12 participate in Concert on the Green Young Artists Concerto Competition, to win a $1,000 scholarship and


CHRIS TUCKER Best known for playing Det. James Carter in the hit Rush Hour films, Tucker’s stand-up comedy tour has nabbed rave reviews; 8 p.m. March 28, 29 and 30 and 10 p.m. March 28 and 29 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, 292-4242, $35, BILLY B He’s a very funny local boy – Billy B brings his almost-trailer-trash shtick home, 8 p.m. March 28 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, $10, 365-5555, GREG VACCARIELLO Comic veteran of TV and film Vaccariello performs 8:04 p.m. March 27, 8:34 p.m. March 28 and 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. March 29 at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $6-$25, CHRIS D’ELIA Starring in NBC’s new comedy Undateable, D’Elia was named one of Variety’s “Top 10 Comics to Watch.”

to play with the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra. Deadline to apply is March 31. CALL TO CHALK ARTISTS St. Augustine Chalk Walk seeks artists to create 4-feet-by-6-feet chalk drawings on sidewalks, with a St. Augustine heritage theme. Deadline to register is April 1. The free event is May 2-4 at the promenade between the city parking garage and Visitor Information Center. CHALKING TECHNIQUES The free workshop mixes classroom learning and hands-on chalking techniques, 9 a.m. April 5 at Fullerwood Center, 10 Hildeth Dr., St. Augustine. Register by March 29; email BALLROOM DANCING Dance with DJ Tom Stoiber, 8 p.m. April 5 at Club Savoy, 6354 Arlington Rd., Jacksonville. ARTIST TALK Celeste Roberge, whose Ocean Floors exhibit is on display at Crisp-Ellert Art Museum, discusses her work 7 p.m. April 10 at Gamache-Koger Theater, Ringhaver Student Center, Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, free, 826-8530, STATE OF THE ARTS The St. Johns Cultural Council accepts applications from nonprofits, artists and teachers for funding of up to $500 for its Spring State of the Arts Grant. The council is interested in arts education and outreach to underserved areas. Applications must be submitted by April 15. For details, call 808-7330 or go to NATIVE AMERICAN FLUTE WORKSHOP The two-hour beginner’s workshop is held 7 p.m. April 24 at Amiro Art & Found, 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, $40, registration required, 824-8460, IMPROVISATION FOR ADULTS Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre’s workshop covers basic improvisation, 2 p.m. April 27 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $55, 249-7177, CALL TO ARTISTS The Art Center seeks photographers and video artists to present slide shows or videos at Art Walk at its studios. Artists must have their own projection equipment; $25; for details, email NATURE & WILDLIFE EXHIBIT Works in any medium that celebrate the beauty of the natural world are eligible – wilderness and landscape images, birds, marine life and the diversity of creatures in the great outdoors – for the fifth annual exhibition, held July 26-Aug. 31 at St. Augustine Art Association. Prizes for artistic excellence are awarded, including best in show. Submit up to three images online by June 2 at; $45, 824-2310.


ART IN EARTH: First Wednesday Art Walk celebrates the planet with the theme “Earth Without Art Is Just Eh” (those Downtown Vision folks are so clever). Artists and art lovers can enjoy the Earth Day-inspired event on April 2 at more than 40 galleries, museums and businesses spanning 15 blocks in Downtown Jacksonville.

SIR JAMES GALWAY Michael Butterman conducts the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra, joining flutist Galway at 8 p.m. March 28 at the T-U Center’s Jacoby Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, INDIGO GIRLS The folk duo joins the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra and conductor Michael Butterman at 8 p.m. March 29 at the T-U Center’s Jacoby Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, NORTHEAST FLORIDA CONSERVATORY CONCERT BAND The Northeast Florida Conservatory Concert Band performs a

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variety of arrangements including marching tunes and popular music from Broadway shows like Annie, Beauty and the Beast and Les Miserables, 3 p.m. March 30 at Switzerland Point Middle School, 777 Greenbriar Rd., Fruit Cove, free, 374-8639, YOUNG ARTISTS COMPETITION CONCERTO FINALS The top-level Jacksonville Symphony Youth Orchestra musicians perform at 6 p.m. March 31 at the Times-Union Center’s Jacoby Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, free, SYMPHONY 101: WHO IS THE CONCERTMASTER? Philip Pan leads this lunch and learn at 12:30 p.m. April 2 at the T-U Center, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, $15 for box lunch, lecture and open rehearsal, KING OF STRINGS Ken Ford takes the violin center-stage in an energetic performance 7 and 10 p.m. April 5 at Ritz Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, $25, 632-5555, BIG BAND BASH BENEFIT DINNER/DANCE The Dynamic Les DeMerle Orchestra, featuring vocalist Bonnie Eisele, performs to raise funds for the Amelia Island Jazz Festival scholarship program, 6:30-10 p.m. April 19 at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, 39 Beach Lagoon, $75, 261-6161, • Lobster Corn Dogs with Spicy Horseradish Ketchup Spiked with Ketel One Vodka

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DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. March 28 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, food and a farmers market, along with North Florida Folk Network, Charley Simmons, Road Less Traveled, Larry Mangum and Dixie Rodeo, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. March 29 and every Sat. through Dec. 20 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, ST. AUGUSTINE RECORD FAIR The fair features new and used memorabilia, collectibles, turntable supplies, posters and tons of vinyl records, plus live music by local bands and DJs, at noon March 30 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340C A1A, free admission, 342-7981, FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK 30-40 galleries, museums and businesses, over 15 blocks, 5-9 p.m. April 2, Downtown,; FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK Tour of Art Galleries of St. Augustine is held April 4; more than 15 galleries participate, 829-0065.


ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7371, arts. Senior thesis artwork includes 2-D art, sculptures, animated shorts, screenplays and film productions, on display March 27-April 30. The permanent collection features carved ivory, Chinese porcelain, pre-Colombian artifacts and more. AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, “Beaches, Creatures, and Cowboys” features posters and lobby cards from Florida’s most famous films, on display through April. The children’s exhibit “Discovery Ship” allows kids to pilot the ship, hoist flags and learn about the history of Fernandina’s harbor. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, The exhibit "Waiting for the Train: Henry Flagler & the Florida East Coast Railroad” is on display March 27-June 1. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, Celeste Roberge’s exhibit, “Ocean Floors,” includes photography, cyanotypes and vessels that reflect the forms of the sea, on display through April 19. A screening of “A Man Named Pearl” is held March 26. Works are displayed at First Friday Art Walk April 4. An artist talk is held April 10. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Riverside, 356-6857, Painting’s artistic and devotional contexts are explored through 21 works, 19 of which are borrowed from collections in the United States and Germany. “One Family: Photographs by Vardi Kahana,” an exhibit by the Israeli photographer detailing four generations of her family, is on display through April 7. Florida State University Professor William Walmsley displays his works through July 8. “The Human Figure: Sculptures by Enzo Torcoletti” is on display through September. “A Commemoration of the Civil Rights Movement” photographs are displayed through Nov. 2. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, “Mark Twain” includes original letters, writings and illustrations on exhibit through April 26. “Breaking Free: Dark Energy, Dark Matter” features oil on canvas paintings by Margaret Schnebly Hodge, on display through April 29. The permanent collection includes other rare manuscripts. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, The exhibit “Material Transformations,” in which seven artists uncover symbolism through unconventional substances, runs through April 6. The Gold Key portfolio show features works by 15 winners of Northeast Florida Scholastic Art Awards show, through March. Leigh Murphy's exhibit “Observing Objects,” an exploration of watercolor, runs through May 11. The opening reception is held March 27. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, “Uncovering the Past: Archaeological Discoveries of North Florida” is on display through August. VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Dr., St.

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Augustine, 825-1000, “Journey: 450 years of the African-American Experience” is exhibited through July 15.


ABSOLUTE AMERICANA ART GALLERY 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine, 824-5545, Original Pierre Matisse prints are featured. The permanent display features oil paintings, sculptures and prints from international artists. AMIRO ART & FOUND GALLERY 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, 824-8460, Kelsey Schirard’s accumulations of wrapped jewelry and 3-D artistry are on display through March. Sculptures by Alexander Wilds are also displayed. THE ART CENTER MAIN GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Downtown, 355-1757, Elaine Bedell’s exhibit “Walk in the Woods” features local landscapes, through March. Paintings, pastels, sketches and photography by a diverse group of member artists is displayed. THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757, “The Woods” exhibit, featuring artwork using wood to depict forests and trees, runs through May 6. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, Works by Society of Mixed Media Artists and juried by Gene Roberds are on display through March. The artist-run gallery features a wide range of traditional and contemporary art by several local artists. CORSE GALLERY & ATELIER 4144 Herschel St., Riverside, 388-8205, Permanent works on display feature those by Kevin Beilfuss, Eileen Corse, Miro Sinovcic, Maggie Siner, Alice Williams and Luana Luconi Winner. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, Mermaid artwork is on display in all media types by local artists including Linda Olsen, Mary Hubley, Tracy Womack, Pat Livesay and JoAnne Adams, through April 1. Joan Carver – who specializes in watercolor, pastels and oils – opens Color It Coastal with a reception 7-9 p.m. April 4; the exhibit continues through May 20. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 425-2845, Craig Drennen’s exhibit “Awful & Others” features works based on Shakespeare’s Timon of Athens, on display through May 2. Permanent display features a wide range of contemporary works by emerging artists. FSCJ SOUTH CAMPUS ART GALLERY 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-2023, “Picking Cotton: A Student Response Project,” a collection of works reflecting Ronald Cotton and Jennifer Thompson-Cannino’s “Picking Cotton: Our Memoir of Injustice and Redemption,” through April 10. GALLERY725 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 5, Atlantic Beach, 345-9320, “Water. Fire. Wood” features works by Tonsenia Yann, Ken Daga, Mathew Winghart, Flew and Linda Olsen, through May 17. GEORGIA NICK GALLERY 11A Aviles St., St. Augustine, 806-3348, The artist-owned studio displays Nick’s sea and landscape photography, along with local works by oil painters, a mosaic artist, potter, photographer and author. HASKELL GALLERY & DISPLAY CASES Jacksonville International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Rd., Northside, 741-3546. Paintings by Candace Fasano and Marie Shell, examining beauty in the natural world, are displayed through March 28 in Haskell Gallery. John Cheer’s decorative wall plates and sculpture, inspired by the sea’s energy and nature, are displayed through April 7 in Connector Bridge Art display case. Photographer John Adams’ “Evanescent Trawlers of the South” series examines the vessels from Southern harbors, displayed through April 4 in Concourse A and C display cases. THE LOOKING LAB 107 E. Bay St., Downtown, 917-239-3772. “Art in Empty Store Fronts” features multimedia video art and sculptures by Crystal Floyd and David Montgomery. LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY 1 UNF Dr., Student Union Bldg. 58E, Ste. 2401, Southside, 620-2475. The 2014 Art & Design Senior Exhibition is on display April 1-May 2. The opening reception is held April 3. PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY 94 Amelia Village Circle, Amelia Island, 432-1750, Spanish oil paintings by Dionisio Rodriquez are exhibited through April 12. SAWGRASS VILLAGE ARTS GALLERY 1520 Sawgrass Village Dr., Ponte Vedra, 273-4925, Impressionistic Florida Landscapes by Laurel Dagnillo are displayed through March 29. STELLERS GALLERY 240 A1A N., Ponte Vedra, 273-6065, New works in photography, painting and mixed media by Michelle Armas, Casey Matthews, Anna Kincaide and Thomas Hager, displayed through March, include. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310, The exhibit “Canvas, Clay, Collage and Cutting Edge,” exploring different ideas and materials using four themes, is on display through March 30. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, Sculptures by Taylan Castner are on display through April 2. SPACE:EIGHT GALLERY 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838, Features lowbrow, pop surrealism, street and underground art by nationally and internationally acclaimed artists.  For a complete list of arts events, go to folioweekly. com/calendar. To submit your arts-related event, email Deadline for print is 4 p.m. Mon., 10 days before publication. Due to space constraints, not all events appear in print.

DINING DIRECTORY To have your restaurant listed, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor, 904.260.9770 ext. 111 DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner *Bite Club Certified = Hosted a free Folio Weekly Bite Club tasting. Join at BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot


29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919. F In historic downtown, the popular bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality in an upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269. F In a historic building, family-owned spot serves worldly taste fare: homemade veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub offers beer brewed onsite. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311. Owners Luke and Kim Misciasci offer fine Italian items: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto; house specialties are chicken Ciao, homemade-style meat lasagna. $ L Fri. & Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049. In Historic District. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$ FB D Nightly DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444. F In a renovated 1887 shotgun house. Favorites: jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan, vegetarian selections. Dine inside or on the porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE, 11 S. Seventh St., 432-8394. F Creative lunch: po’boys, salads, little plates served in a historic house. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp. Reservations recommended. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400. F BOJ winner. Northern-style pizzas, with more than 20 toppings, are served by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141. Awarded Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes and breads. Everything’s made from scratch. $ TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132. Bite Club certified. Omni Amelia Island Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistrostyle venue has an innovative menu: whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811. F See ICW sunsets from second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, original broiled cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652. F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves award-winning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd fl oor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.


DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 19 & 20, 7459301. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily


THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966. F BOJ winner. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge. Wi-Fi, bellydancers, hookahs. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790. F Inside Green Man Gourmet, this shop has wines, spices, fresh fruit ice pops and Belgian chocolates. See Ponte Vedra. $$ TO ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE, 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40, 388-4884. F The churrascaria’s gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sun. THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 4530 St. Johns Ave., 388-8828. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See

Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ winner. Southern blues kitchen. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, chicken-fried steak, Delta fried catfish, shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 Pinegrove Ave., 389-8655. F BOJ winner. For 40+ years serving hearty fare: Cuban sandwiches, burgers, subs, wraps, homemade chicken salad, in a family atmosphere. Onsite butcher shop sells USDA choice prime aged beef cut to order. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., Ortega, 387-1000. F Down-home cooking from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.


AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA, Ste. 3, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000. F Family-owned-andoperated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, strombolis, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs, desserts. Delivery. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8206 Philips Hwy., Baymeadows Junction, 732-9433. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily PIZZA PALACE RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 527-8649. F Relaxed, family-owned place serves homestyle cuisine. Local faves include spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Outside dining; HD TVs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 8133 Point Meadows Dr., 5190509. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676. Chefs combine Asian methodology with European template to create dishes like tandoori lamb chops and rosemary tikka. Vegetarian items are cooked separately in vegetable oil. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.


(Locations are Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002. F BOJ winner. Celebrating more than 20 years, Al’s is a repeat Best Pizza winner in the annual BOJ readers’ poll. New York-style and gourmet pizzas. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily BREEZY COFFEE SHOP CAFE, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211 F Casual, family-owned shop serves fresh-baked goods, espressos, locally roasted coffees, vegan and gluten-free options. Sandwiches, local beer. $ BW K TO B R L Daily BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients, beautifully presented. $$ FB TO L D Daily CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000. F Familyowned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made in-house. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356. F BOJ winner. Locally owned and operated for 15+ years, this casual place serves half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, award-winning cheddar fries and sangria. $ BW K L D Daily ENGINE 15 BREWING CO., 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337. F  BOJ winner. Gastropub fare: soups, flatbreads, sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Craft beers and brew groups. $ FB K L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. F In the old Sun Dog. Offers a fusion of Latin American and Southwesterninfluenced fare: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. Outdoor seating. $ FB L D Daily LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024. F Locally owned & operated. Fresh, off-the-boat local seafood, fish tacos, houseground burgers, wings, handcut fries, tater tots; daily specials. $$ FB K L D Daily; R Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 N. Third St., 247-9620. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-2922. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. Hoagies, salads, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 beers on tap. Nonstop happy hour. $ BW K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817 F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-5573. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$

Nicole Mammerella (left) and Jessica Van Valkenburgh of Flying Iguana in Neptune Beach present Shrimp Ceviche and Chicken Tortilla Soup Photo: Dennis Ho FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. F BOJ winner. Funky Southern blues kitchen. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfish, all the sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-2599. F BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure are fl ippin’ burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, familiar fare, moderate prices. Dine inside or outside. $$ BW L D Daily POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637. F Named for poet Edgar A llan Poe. American gastropub has 50+ beers, gourmet hamburgers, handcut fries, fish tacos, big salads, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 F For 30 years, popular seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 246-0881 Beachcasual atmosphere. Customer faves: fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, homemade ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000. F BOJ winner. Full-service bar (with more than 20 beers on tap), TV screens covering entire walls and cheerleader s serving the food. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily


AMERICAN GRILL, Jacksonville Landing, 353-7522. The full-service restaurant serves traditional fare: pot pies, steaks, burgers, pizza, pot roast, vegetarian dishes. $$ BW L D Daily BENNY’S STEAK & SEAFOOD, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 175, 301-1014. This steak-and-seafood house serves Continental cuisine with such signature dishes as the Filet Christian. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ NOLA at MOCAJax, 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911. F Shrimp & grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. $$ FB L Mon.-Fri.; D Thur. & ArtWalk CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 36+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $$ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, Jacksonville Landing, 354-7747. F Chicago-style deep-dish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from Chicago’s Comastro family. They import ingredients all the way from exotic, far-away Illinois – talk about authentic. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F This spot has eats at moderate prices – most less than $10. Chefinspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Fri. & Sat. CINCO DE MAYO, Jacksonville Landing, , 329-2892. Authentic yet mild dishes: fajitas, tacos, burritos, enchiladas. Dine indoors or outside. $$ FB L D Daily FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547. BOJ winner. This pub offers casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily HOOTERS, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 103, 356-5400 This chain of casual restaurants, popular for their waitresses, features wings, steamed shrimp, oysters, burgers, seafood and sandwiches. $$ FB TO L D Daily KOJA SUSHI, Ste. 222, Jacksonville Landing, 350-9911 F BOJ winner. Owners John and Tony, in the sushi game for 10+ years, offer sushi, sashimi, and Japanese, Asian, Korean cuisine. Hard-to-find items like baby octopus salad, too. Dine inside or out. $$ FB L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly VILLAGE BREAD CAFE, Ste. 175, Jacksonville Landing,

683-7244 Locally owned; bagels, omelets, sandwiches on homestyle bread, salads, pizzas, pastries. $ TO B L Mon.-Sat. VITO’S ITALIAN CAFE, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 174, 3553002 Traditional Italian and Mediterranean menu: pasta, steak and seafood entrées. Desserts, including tiramisu and cannoli, are homemade. Daily happy hour. $ FB L D Daily ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283. American favorites and Mediterranean fare in a casual atmosphere; panini, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB L Mon.-Fri


GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ winner. See Riverside. $ BW TO Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100, 215-2223. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 1605 C.R. 220, 278-9421. F 50+ premium domestic, imported beers on tap. Starters, burgers, sandwiches, entrées, made to order with fresh ingredients. Lots of TVs for watching sports. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater river catfish, daily specials, traditional meals, on Swimming Pen Creek. Outdoor Tiki bar. Come by boat, motorcycle or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.Sun.; D Nightly


4 BONES BARBECUE, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 20, 4199855. Classic Southern barbecue: Pulled pork, brisket, chicken, turkey, ribs, chorizo served market-style by the pound. Mac ’n’ cheese, baked beans, cole slaw, green beans. Specialty sandwiches, banana pudding. $ K TO L D Tue.-Sat. AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some locations offer a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily THE TENT HOOKAH LOUNGE, 12041 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4, 551-2962. The Tent offers authentic fare, hookahs and flavored tobacco, special specials and live belly dancing and floor seating, in keeping with that authenticity thing. Open late. $ BW L D Daily TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999. F Locally-owned-and-operated grill serves hand-tossed pizzas, wings, specialty wraps in a clean, sporty atmosphere. Daily drink specials, HD TVs, pool tables, darts, trivia. Late-night menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly


DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, St. Johns, 825-4540. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, St. Johns, 819-1554. F See Fleming Island. $$ FB K L D Daily


AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F From the dolmades (stuffed grape leaves) to the baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Athens has all the favorites. G reek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat.

MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 33


ADVERTISING PROOF This is a copyright protected proof ©

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

RUN DATE: 031914




Produced by KAC_ Checked by

Sales Rep CJ_


This is a copyright protected proof ©

ON ISLAND TIME A decade-old taco stand welcomes

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

RUN DATE: 031914 its sister brick-and-mortar taco joint OF BENEFIT



Produced by KL Checked by


926 Santa Maria Blvd., Food cart at 1020 Anastasia Blvd., 794-0405



hat started as a taco stand in St. Augustine more than 10 years ago has © 2014 transformed into a small, laid-back eatery in St. Augustine Shores. Since nothing on the menu is priced over $10, Nalu’s is a great spot for dining in or grabbing a bite on the run. A chalkboard outside the door displays specials, and I was immediately enticed by the Mermaid Wrap ($9): seared Cajun ahi tuna, sticky rice with cilantro pesto and soy sauce and diced cucumber, all happily tucked away in a toasted spinach wrap. It was a magical blend of ingredients and flavors, and I’d certainly order it again. The Ahi Burger ($9) is a burger-shaped mound of fresh yellowfin tuna steak that’s seasoned and served on a soft whole-wheat bun. Topped with a cilantro pesto, crisp pieces of red cabbage, shreds of cheddar and jack cheeses and homemade baja sauce, it was nicely portioned. After observing the “Best Tacos in St. Augustine” embellishment on the menu, we also ordered two tacos — one shrimp, one blackened mahi. Both arrived on flour tortillas 2014 piled haphazardly with cabbage, shredded cheese, cilantro pesto and a drizzle of thick,

creamy baja sauce. Of the two, the mahi was better; the fish was juicy, nicely seasoned and, perhaps most important, full of flavor. Most tacos and burgers are served with your choice of side — beans and rice, corn tortilla chips and salsa (red or verde), or a simple salad tossed with light mango dressing, garnished with cucumber slices and a sprinkling of sunflower seeds. Nalu’s serves only wild-caught fish (no farm-raised nonsense here!), making for really flavorful tacos, burritos and sashimi. And fresh is the name of the game: The eatery’s sauces, salsas, soups and pestos are crafted using fresh ingredients from a local farmers’ market and various area produce stands. Kids will go crazy for the assortment of cleverly named shaved Hawaiian ices ($2-$3), such as luau lime, big kahuna cherry and da cotton candy kine. The original location still stands (no pun intended) in the parking lot of popular surf shop The Surf Station, off Anastasia Boulevard, and is open year-round for a quick, casual bite.  Caron Streibich

The Mermaid Wrap

34 | | MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014



9744. Chef Tom Gray’s place features innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, salads, sides and desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly MSHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ BW L D Daily OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730. BOJ winner. Comfortable, chic place features tapas and small plates of Spanish and I talian flavors: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese. 240-bottle wine list, 75 by the glass, craft spirits. Outdoor dining; bocce court. $$ FB R, Sun.; D Nightly

NAME: Landillon Matthieu RESTAURANT: Vernon’s, Sawgrass Marriott, 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Ponte Vedra BIRTHPLACE: France


FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): The Tasting Room, St. Augustine FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: French fusion FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Truffle mushrooms


IDEAL MEAL: Cassoulet from Toulouse WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Monkey brains CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Lisa Musso CULINARY TREAT: Butter is better. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 1, 880-7087. F BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040. F American-style steakhouse features Angus steaks, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU JAPANESE RESTAURANT, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903. The new place has a wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ FB TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some locations offer a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773. F This casual, family-friendly eatery serves pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers and pasta dishes. Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 292-2300. F Casual New York-style pizzeria. Calzones, antipasto, parmigiana, homemade breads. $$  C  L D Daily


ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959. Southern-style dining. Specialties: New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. KRISTIN’S ON THE RIVER, 2511 Blanding Blvd., 389-9455. This newly re-opened spot serves seafood and American favorites. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789. F All over the area, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611. F Wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 35+ years. Pool tables, dartboards, foosball, TVs. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily


AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 8295790. Hand-crafted in the onsite factory, with premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts and spices. Cookies and popsicles. Claude’s will ship your order. $$ TO LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797. Chef David Medure creates with a wide range of global flavors. The lounge offers small plates, creative drinks and entertainment, including happy hour twice daily. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.


AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793 BOJ winner. Orsay’s sister restaurant serves New American favorites with a Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients. Awesome rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1-2, 855-1181. F BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to roasting coffee. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 234-8843, cornertaco. Made-from-scratch “semi-swanky street food” – tacos, nachos and salads, plus gluten-free and vegetarian options, in a bricks-and-mortar building. $ BW L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 5972 San Juan Ave., Westside, 693-9258. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474. F BOJ winner. Juice bar has cer tified organic fruit, vegetables. Artisanal cheese, 300+ craft/import beer, organic wines, produce, meats, wraps, raw, vegan. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS, 1001 Park St., 508-0342. The new spot is based on Asian street vendors. A collection of hawker recipes is served under one roof. $ BW TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., Westside, 446-9500. 8102 Blanding Blvd., Westside, 779-1933. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600. F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F BOJ winner. See Amelia Island. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434. F Southwestern dishes like fresh fish tacos and chicken enchiladas are popular. Happy hour runs Mon.-Sat. in the upstairs lounge, and all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300. F Traditional Irish fare like shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese and, of course, fish-n-chips. Outdoor patio dining is available. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0049. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition Ale Works), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily


AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily AVILES RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277. F Hilton Bayfront Hotel. Progressive Europeanflavored menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, deluxe breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. Free valet. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CANDLELIGHT SOUTH, 1 Anastasia Blvd., 819-0588. F Brand-new on the island, the casual restaurant originally in Scarsdale, N.Y., offers fish tacos, sandwiches, wings, desserts and sangria. Daily specials. $ BW K TO L D Daily CARMELO’S MARKETPLACE & PIZZERIA, 146 King St., 494-6658. F New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats, cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. Inside The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, a coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655. Updated Southern fare: fresh, local ingredients from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free options. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., Anastasia Island, 824-8244. F A mainstay for a quarter-century, Gypsy’s menu changes twice daily. Signature dish is Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765. F New Orleans-style. Cajun, Creole, Southern flavors with a modern twist: fresh seafood, steaks, pork, jambalaya, shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 155 Hampton Point Dr., 230-7879. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818. F BOJ winner. Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ unique sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. The newish fusion restaurant specializes in healthful American fare with a Latin flair. $$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.


MOXIE KITCHEN + COCKTAILS, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-

CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1, 737-2874. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688. F New upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO B L D Daily


BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190. F Pad Thai, curries, sushi, served in a relaxing environment. Dine indoors or on the patio. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. THE GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Varied tapas menu of artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschettas, homestyle cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1631 Hendricks Ave., 399-1768. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922. Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, European-style atmosphere. Artfully presented cuisine, small plates, extensive martini/wine lists. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, homemade soups.SUPPORT $$ B PROMISE OF BENEFIT R L Daily PIZZA PALACE 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F See Baymeadows. $$ BW TO L D Daily


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360° GRILLE IN LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555. F Seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Dine inside, on patio. $$ FB TO L D Daily ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212. Longest-running dinner theater features Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s menus coordinated with stage productions. Reservations suggested. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd., 619-8186. F See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. In Watami. All-you can-eat sushi, choice of two items from teppanyaki grill. $ FB K L D Daily. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F See Orange Park. BOJ winner. $ K TO B L D Daily MANGIA! ITALIAN BISTRO & BAR, 3210 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 551-3061. F Chef/owner Tonino DiBella offers fine dining – fresh seafood, veal, steaks, New York-style pizza, desserts. Happy hour Mon.-Sat. Patio. $$$ FB K TO L D Mon.-Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F See Beaches. Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. $ BW K TO L D Daily SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Pkwy. N., 997-1999. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts award-winning freshly brewed ales and lagers. Inside, outdoors. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999. New York-style thin crust, brick-oven-cooked pizzas – gluten-free; calzones, sandwiches fresh to order, Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929. F Apps and bar food: German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips, flatbreads. Craft drafts from Germany, California, Florida (Bold City brews), Ireland, Belgium. $$ BW L D Daily


DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828. F BOJ winner. NASCAR-themed spot has 365 kinds of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main, 356-3100. F Fresh Mexican fare: fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour daily; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404. F Low Country Southern fare, twist of Mediterranean and French at Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, New York strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. Rainforest Lounge. $$$ FB K B L D Daily. 

MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 35


BATHTUB BEER, WORLD DOMINATION, DORITOS & SHAPE-SHIFTERS ARIES (March 21-April 19): I’ve coined a new word just for your horoscope this week. “Zex,” short for “zen sex,” is a kind of sex in which your mind is at rest, empty of all thought. You breathe slowly and calmly, move slowly and calmly, grunt and moan slowly and calmly. You’re completely detached from the sensual pleasure you’re experiencing. You have no goals other than the intention to be free of all goals. Zex is the ONLY variety of sex I recommend for you. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Zex may be fine to practice any other time, but not these days. The style of sex you need most is exuberant, unbridled, expansive and zany. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In Somalia, there’s a law that forbids one from putting used chewing gum on one’s nose and walking around in public. Fortunately, you don’t live there, so it’s fine if you want to do that. Go right ahead. To do so is right in alignment with cosmic omens. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You should definitely not take yourself too seriously this week; look for opportunities to playfully lose your dignity and razz the status quo. There are craftier ways to do that than by sticking gum on your nose. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Tata Massage is a San Francisco salon that offers an unusual beauty treatment: face-slapping. Thai masseuse Tata claims to be improving your complexion as she smacks your cheeks and forehead with her hands. She also does “massage boxing,” administering health-giving punches to your body with her fists. Is there a comparable service available where you live? I recommend it. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth: Be absolutely firm that you won’t tolerate whacks and wallops — including the psychological kind — even if they’re supposedly good for you. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Now’s a great time to launch a new tradition, instigate a fresh trend or make a beautiful thing to last 1,000 years — an amazing marvel, useful innovation or creation to improve the lives of countless humans all over Earth for the next 40 generations. APRIL FOOL! I’m exaggerating. Producing something to last 1,000 years is too ambitious. How about just launch a new tradition, instigate a fresh trend or create a beautiful thing to last the rest of your long life — an amazing marvel, useful innovation or creation that will teach and amuse along the way? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Your patron saint for the next three months is surrealistic artist Salvador Dali. He’s your muse and role model. Spout some of his famous declarations as if they were your own. Start with these: 1. “The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.” 2. “I don’t take drugs; I am drugs.” 3. “Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature.” 4. “Don’t fear perfection. You’ll never reach it.” APRIL FOOL! I lied. Dali is your patron saint, role model and muse for just the next 14 days, not three months. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It’s said Jesus turned water into wine. Well, St. Brigit, a sixth-century Irish nun, was legendary for an even greater miracle. When folks visited her monastery in Kildare, she changed her old bathwater into beer for them to drink. There’s a good chance you’ll develop that precise talent soon. APRIL FOOL! I kinda lied. You won’t really have St. Brigit’s supernatural power. You will have an uncanny ability to make transmutations almost as dramatic as changing bathwater to beer.

36 | | MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The band Rush was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame last May. Guitarist Alex Lifeson gave an unusual acceptance speech. For two minutes, he repeated one

word over and over: “blah.” “Blah-blah-blah,” he began. “Blah-blah-blah blah-blah blah-blah.” Hand gestures and shifting vocal inflections accompanied his rap, in support of variations on “blah-blah.” Bring this spirit to all important conversations next week. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, the opposite’s true. It’s crucial to speak precisely and articulately next week. Say exactly what you mean, not meaningless bullshit. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When a human embryo begins to develop in the womb, the first body part to appear is — can you guess? — the anus. This scientific fact led witty commentators at to state “Every human being starts out as an asshole.” They were making a joke, hinting that each of us has an unattractive quality or two that make us at least a little bit of a jerk. That’s the bad news. The good news? You have an unprecedented chance to transform your personality’s asshole aspects. APRIL FOOL! I lied. You’re not an asshole, not even a little. It’s true that the weeks ahead are a good time to try to fix or at least temper your least attractive qualities. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): To be in strict compliance with cosmic necessity, attend a party every day next week. Dance ecstatically, make love abundantly and expose yourself to previously unknown pleasures. Feast on a variety of food and drink that introduces novel tastes. Make sure you experience record levels of sensual enjoyment, nonstop excitement and dynamic socializing. APRIL FOOL! I’m exaggerating, just a little. Try doing a 70-percent version of all that. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Lifehacker. com has a step-by-step guide to set up your home as a command center to pursue your world domination plans. The article tells how to build a surveillance system, encrypt computer files and prepare for blackouts and weather emergencies. Do it! (Get the lowdown at APRIL FOOL! I lied. You don’t need to create a high-tech fortress, but you’d be wise to make your home more of an ultra-comfortable, super-inspiring sanctuary, where you feel so safe, strong and smart, you’ll always have total power over yourself, and never driven to fulfill anyone’s standards of success but yours. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Planetary omens suggest you need to experience all possible flavors of Doritos corn chips. The problem? The place where you live offers a limited range. Drop everything and travel to Japan, the world leader in Dorito variety. You can sample coconut curryflavored Doritos, along with flavors of fried chicken, corn soup, smoked bacon, tuna and mayonnaise, and many others. Buy the plane ticket now! APRIL FOOL! I lied. Truth is, you’ll benefit from communing with a wide variety of sensations, experiences and ideas in many areas of your life, not just Doritos. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): According to a Public Policy Polling survey, 4 percent of the population believes “shape-shifting reptilian people control our world by taking on human form and gaining political power to manipulate our societies.” My research suggests 62 percent of those believers are Pisceans. Are you one? If so, it’s a good time to intensify your fight against shape-shifting reptilian people. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, DO NOT feed your paranoid delusions and fearful reveries. This should be a time to bolster your positive fantasies, constructive visions and inspiring dreams.  Rob Brezsny

BEAUTIFUL ASIAN AT PAPA JOHN’S ARGYLE You: Asian and beautiful, drives late model Hyundai. We made eye contact briefly. I feel like a fool for not asking for your number. Describe me and let’s start the revolution. When: March 19. Where: Papa John’s. #1343-0326

be “without home” like me. Your blonde unkempt hair was appealing. You caught my good eye when you walked in. I’d love to have a cup of recycled coffee with you some day. I’m available 24/7. When: Feb. 3. Where: Public Library. #1334-0212

BURGER SLINGIN’ BEAUTY You: Breathtaking brunette behind the counter, providing your magical burgers to all patrons lucky enough to be in your presence. Me: Tall, dark-haired gentleman who catches you gazing intimately into my eyes every Tuesday. OK, yes, it’s mutual. So what do you say we skip the small talk and make this thing official? When: March 18. Where: MShack Atlantic Beach. #1342-0326

SHARK TEETH & T&A You: At the end of the bar with your braid just lying on your chest. I bought you and your friends a shot but I really just wanted to buy you one. Round two? When: Feb. 5. Where: Flying Iguana. #1333-0212

CONVERSATION SURPRISE You: Attractive SWF, 5’2”-4”, 130, nonsmoker, athletic, late 50s-early-60s. Afternoon conversation, coffee, you nearly choked when I asked if you’d be interested in “friends with benefits LTR.” Gave your cell number; can’t fi nd. Me: SWM, 5’8”, 185, nonsmoker, excellent health, early 70s, recently retired successful executive, homeowner. When: Jan. 15. Where: Starbucks. #1341-0312 SWEATY CYCLIST SEEKS SEXY SITTER You: Beautiful, Middle-Eastern-looking au pair, pumping gas at Gate; two kids. Me: Fit, ginger, sun-glistened cyclist. Our eyes locked, my heart pulled a wheelie. My Schwinn couldn’t keep up with your Audi. Drop kids; then see what my cyclist pants can barely contain. When: March 1. Where: Gate Gas Station. #1340-0312 BATHROOMS & SOUP? Me: Short, red-headed woman, black uniform. You: Gorgeous blue eyes, grey shirt, almost-shaved blond hair. First, you asked where the bathroom was; I clumsily answered. Then, we saw each other in the check-out lane. You and my mom talked about soup myths. I’d really like to get to know you. :) When: March 2. Where: Barnes & Noble, San Jose Blvd. #1339-0305 MOST BEAUTIFUL NURSE You: Most caring nurse I’ve ever seen. Short, brown-haired Latin goddess with glasses and always smiling. V., you are so good with the children you take care of. Would love to take you out some time. When: Feb. 7. Where: Wolfson ICU. #1338-0305 I SWEAR I’M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! That’s the only line I could think of at the time to talk to you. We chatted and joked for a few, then I got dragged off by my friends and lost you. Me: Red hair, black mini, knee-high boots. You: Short brown hair, looking dapper. See you there again? When: Feb. 14. Where: Eclipse. #1337-0226 ASKED TO READ MY MIND For two years, I’ve thought about you every day and dreamed about you every night! You: Curious & Disturbed. Me: Glasses. When: Every day. Where: The neighborhood. #1336-0226 POWERHOUSE HOTTIE I remember how rough your hand felt on mine as we reached for the same 15-pound dumbbell. I recommended lifting gloves to help keep your hands soft. You liked my Magnum PI-style moustache. You said you may try to grow one. Let’s get together and watch “Silence of the Lambs.” When: Feb. 2. Where: Powerhouse Gym. #1335-0212 YOU’VE GOT MAIL We were both at the library to check our emails. You must

FROZEN FOODS HOTTIE You: Green pants, white shirt, brown boots, beautiful black hair. Me: Tall, slim, blue shirt, curly Afro. I see you in the frozen foods section on your lunch hour sometimes. You look like you just know how to own life. Teach me how? When: Jan. 22. Where: Winn-Dixie, Edgewood & Commonwealth. #1332-0212 BEAUTIFUL LADY IN BROWN HAT ISU at Bonefish Grill having drinks with a girlfriend and we made eye-to-eye contact numerous times. You wore a large rimmed brown hat and a long plaid skirt. I had on a gold shirt with a green vest. Would love to have dinner together at Bonefish. Hope to hear from you. When: Jan. 28. Where: Bonefish Grill. #1331-0205 NEED A BRUSH Saw you at Bento. You were confidently comfortable in your underarmor and ruffled hair. You paid for my shrimp tempura. Meet me under the two paintings Feb. 14 at 11 p.m. When: Feb. 1. Where: Bento. #1330-0205 WE LOCKED EYES You parked grey pickup by Walgreen’s. Walked by, looked; locked eyes. I drove metallic SUV. We spoke, flirted, smiled. You left, I went behind Walgreens. You still there; locked eyes again. Still looking, you drove off. We honked horns. Me: Black female. You: White male. Let’s see where it goes. When: 3 p.m. Dec. 22. Where: Walgreen’s parking lot, Normandy. #1329-0129 ADVENTURE LANDING BASKETBALL DAD You: Handsome dad of teen shooting hoops near the snack area. Me: Mom of birthday boy. Lots of eye contact. Hoping for more! When: Jan. 17. Where: Adventure Landing/Blanding Blvd. #1328-0129 IN LINE AT WALGREENS You: Tall, handsome, beard, shopping with young daughter. Me: Blue-eyed brunette, ponytails, ballcap, black workout gear behind you in line. We made eye contact. Hope it was your daughter’s presence, not my lack of makeup, that kept you from saying, “Hi.” When: Jan. 18. Where: Walgreens @ C.R. 210 & C.R. 2209. #1327-0122 BRIGHT YELLOW HEELS You: Tall brunette at Target San Jose/295 on 19 Jan.; short black dress, black tights. Your bright yellow heels caught my eye. You checked out faster than I did; I couldn’t catch up in the parking lot. Me: Tall, in a blue hat. We made eye contact right before you checked out. When: Jan. 19. Where: Target on San Jose/295. #1326-0122 RED DRESS BISTRO AIX Me: Awesome. You: Decent, in a red dress. Called you a name starting with “J.” You left. Let’s do it again. When: Jan. 11. Where: Bistro Aix. #1325-0115 DOES THE BODY GOOD You in your sexy black uniform. Me in my Green Bay shirt. I want to work you out sometime. Please? When: Jan. 5. Where: Lynch’s Irish Pub. #1324-0108

MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 37

NEWS OF THE WEIRD Sentimental Journey

Kevin Walters, 21, staged an emotional, yet unsuccessful, one-man, chained-to-the-door protest in March to prevent the closing of a commercial rest stop along the Jane Addams Memorial Tollway near Des Plaines, Ill. Ultimately, the Des Plaines Oasis, housing shops and fast-food restaurants, will be demolished as part of a highway-widening project. Walters told WBBM Radio that his poignant attachment to the oasis was because his parents had told him it was where he was conceived as they returned home from a 1992 Phil Collins concert.

Cultural Diversity

In tribe-controlled areas of India, children who disrespect their families by marrying outside their castes are still, occasionally, put to death despite strong national laws. However, enlightenment is advancing, and Mr. Sidhnath Sharma recently filed a lawsuit instead against his caste-straying son for “destroying the family tradition� and “lowering his father’s prestige.� Sharma, a lawyer in Patna, India, is demanding the son pay a monthly royalty of $163 for the son’s now-unauthorized use of the father’s name.

Those Lazy Swiss Flyers

Fighter jets from France were forced in February to accompany the hijacked Ethiopian Airlines plane commandeered by the co-pilot, who’d diverted the plane to Geneva to apply for asylum. The Swiss air force would usually have taken over the mission in its own air space, but the incident occurred at 4:30 a.m., and Swiss air force pilots were likely still asleep, as they work only “regular office hours,� beginning at 8 a.m. (French military officials said they’re accustomed to covering for Switzerland.)

Oh, To Be Swedish!

Sweden’s foul-smelling canned herring (surstromming) inexplicably raises passions among some traditionalists — which is why it was big news in February when a man found a bulging tin whose contents had been fermenting for about 25 years and reckoned he needed help to “disarm� it, lest it “explode� and damage his cabin. Ruben Madsen of Sweden’s Surstromming Academy agreed to attend the can-opening and assured the man that spewing, not explosion, was the likely outcome.

Tasty TV

In 2010, NOTW reported on the enthusiastically obese Donna Simpson, who ate meals in front of her webcam so that “chub chasers� could watch her (pay-per-view) growing larger before their eyes. Now there’s a South Korean, Ms. Park Seo-yeon, 34, not at all overweight, also on payper-view, breaking bread with friend-challenged people desperate to avoid eating alone, however forced the circumstances. Reuters reported that Park’s “gastronomic voyeurism� earns her, some months, more than $9,000 for her series of twoto-three-hour meals, featuring real-time chatting.

“Tail� As in Deer?

Pastor Allen Parker conducts services in the nude, for the nude, according to a February report on WWBT-TV (Richmond, Va.). Parker’s White Tail Chapel is located on a similarly named nudist resort in Ivor, Va., and even in winter, when disrobing visitors are scarce, the chapel is open for congregants. In summertime, when naked people abound, the chapel’s services are often standing-room-only. Baring the body to Christ is hardly unusual, Parker reminded, since that’s the way we all come into the world.

Free Pizza! What a Gas!

After a Feb. 11 explosion at a natural gas well in Greene County, Pa., killed one worker, burned

38 | | MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014

for four days and caused massive traffic jams and other inconveniences, the public relations response of well-owner Chevron was merely to give away vouchers for pizza and soda at local hangout Bobtown Pizza. Environmentalists were outraged at Chevron’s “let them eat cake/pizza� attitude, but CBS News found quite a few locals who supported Chevron’s response. For one thing, Bobtown’s pizza is apparently highly regarded.


James Degorski, 41, serving life in prison for a cold-blooded mass murder during a botched restaurant robbery in Palatine, Ill., in 1993, was awarded $451,000 by a jury recently after a prison guard punched him in the face, necessitating complex surgery. Said a parent of one of Degorski’s victims, “If broken bones are worth a half-million, how much are [the seven victims’] lives worth?�

Questionable Judgment

Former star soccer goalie Bruno Fernandes de Souza, 28, serving 22 years in prison in Brazil for the murder of his girlfriend and feeding of part of her body to his dogs, was granted work-release in March by prison officials. The “work� assignment is to play soccer for a Brazilian pro team that, upon learning of the rehabilitation law, signed him to a contract and urged his release.

The Cutting Edge

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by


I’m Not Quite Myself Today 1 6 10 14 18 19 20 21 22 24 26 27 28 30 31 32 34 36 39 40 42 43 44

Among the filings published in November by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office was Google’s 2012 application covering a throat tattoo — actually a mobile skin “microphone� with lie-detecting capability, presumably to encourage truthfulness from people as they speak. The application explains how to couple an electronic skin tattoo to a mobile device, using “flexible substrate.�

47 51

Beauty Takes Pain


Among the “secrets� revealed recently on a BBC television special on South America’s beautyqueen obsession was one by Ms. Wi May Nava, first runner-up for Miss Venezuela 2013. Nava had a patch of plastic mesh sewn onto her tongue to create so much pain when she ate that she was forced to stick to liquids.

52 53 55 56 57 59

66 67 68 70 71 72 73 74 75 77

ACROSS Nasser’s successor Island off Tuscany Fellow Centaur-trained hero Native Alaskans Electronic-music pioneer Actress Loughlin Aspirin amount Sermon subject + a letter + trial subject + cat sound = ? Intention + a letter + really cold = ? Hotel amenity Opera piece Foreign Legion hat Misspeak, e.g. Promising words Mythical giants Party org. Make, as money + a letter + sheltered bay + chopper = ? Early marauder Boyfriends “Milk� type Before, in verse Prickly sticker + general drift + steal cattle = ? In the least Flamingos stand on it Playwright Edward Stroller rider ___ chi Cap. city on I-20 Pianist at Rick’s A letter + nautical term + query start + ray source = ? Add gradually, as crops to a field Bleak Quick look Feline weapon The ___ ceiling Eye for Frosty Den sleeper Soda can abbr. Killer whale Spread rumors Paddle + 2 letters

I Want Candy

In February, an Iowa administrative law judge ruled it might be reasonable to accidentally damage a stubborn vending machine that ate your money — but not by commandeering a forklift, raising the vending machine 2 feet off the concrete floor, and slamming it to the ground to dislodge the reluctant candy bar (a Twix). Consequently, Robert McKevitt, fired recently over the incident by Polaris Industries in Milford, Iowa, was deemed not entitled to worker compensation. McKevitt admitted picking up the machine with the forklift, but said he just shook it and then set it down gently.

Chuck Shepherd

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114 117 118 120 121


105 107 108 112

103 104

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Cinema canine Pebbles’ pop Not normal Singing show Orange refuse Chicago suburb ___ Pro (Amtrakschedule app) ___ torch Most intense, as a gaze Free TV spot Software buyer Be a segue for Longoria et al. Language ending Roman 52 Live the life ___ Nutty Knotter company Muttered comments Work on a wall “Boola, boola� singer More than stares Run to Reno, maybe Little stinker Bracelet site Phone mot Novelist-critic James “It’s like ___ zone!� Doofus Villain Luthor Tornado Alley st. Address pts


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Solution to The Big To-Do B I B B

16 Meat dish, carne ___ 17 Canon rival 18 Paris suburb 23 Expand 25 Fairly shared 29 Subdued shade 33 Worldwide: abbr. 35 Make waves? 37 Science guy Bill 38 Trotter treater 40 Sired 41 Hand in 44 Deadly coiler 45 Plant anew 46 Actress Young 48 Floundering 49 Longtime “Today� host 50 Web crossreference 53 Aglow at dusk 54 Bit of resistance? 58 Chennai, India, before 60 Self-centered ideas? 61 Stats re bats 62 Festooned with Charmin 63 Heckle 64 ___ support 65 Israel’s Abba 68 Garlic bulb 69 Word to a backscratcher 71 Ant digs

DOWN Futile search Sans clothes Sufficed Travel guide Old royal Mexican pastry Bud’s movie bud Rejected court nominee Go along (with) Hair care brand ___ polloi Napoleon’s force 14th president Commotion Activist-actress

Fine Points of Law

In November, a New York appeals court approved a Rockland County judge’s jury instructions, which had resulted in the jury’s absolving Brittany Lahm of fault when she flipped her car on the New York Thruway, killing one passenger and injuring others. Lahm was driving friends home from the beach when one passenger unexpectedly unfastened Lahm’s bikini top, leading her to stretch her arms to re-tie it, which caused her to lose control of the car. The judges ruled the jury could (and ultimately did) consider that Lahm faced an “unforeseen emergency� and was not negligent. The only fatality in the crash was the original unfastener. 

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+ Morse word + void’s partner = ? Easy multiplier Deadly coiler Night before Most junk mail Asian capital Throws out Bo of “Tommy Boy� Old stories + a letter + stitch + reside + 2 letters = ? Radical ’70s grp. “___ man answers ...� “She Loves You� words Had shad, e.g. A pronoun + renter’s contract + eye part = ? Food label abbr. Sanctuaries Mideast fed. Actor Wheaton Actress Chase One-named model Short, for short A letter + low in fat + huggable toy = ? 2 letters + have no doubt + show reverence = ? Is broadcast Foil alternative Fastidiously kept “The Tempest� king Not as Alluring Casino game 000 button





MARCH 26-APRIL 2, 2014 | | 39


LAUNCH PARTY Sat. March 29th, 7:30 pm

TRINITY EVENT CENTER 3200 Armsdale Road Benefits March of Dimes

Folio Weekly 03/26/14  

Folio Weekly 03/26/14 The Big Empty