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Northeast Florida’s News & Opinion Magazine • February 26-March 4, 2014 • 111,191 Readers Every Week • FREE


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CONTENTS // FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 • VOL. 27 • NO. 48

EDITOR’S NOTE

The Fragile Outdoors

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38 MAIL NEWS SPORTSTALK CRIME CITY Cover Photo: Dennis Ho

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THE KNIFE COVER STORY 10 ARTS OUR PICKS 24 DINING MOVIES 27 This is a copyright protected BITE-SIZEDproof © MUSIC 30

ASTROLOGY I SAW YOU CROSSWORD BACKPAGE

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43 44 46 47

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For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. ADVERTISING Merl Reagle, Melody Taylor, P.F. Wilson, FAX YOUR PROOF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 PUBLISHER • IF Sam Taylor Abigail Wright

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EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 A&E EDITOR • David Johnson djohnson@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 COPY EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 STAFF WRITER • Ron Word rword@folioweekly.com / ext. 132 PHOTOGRAPHER • Dennis Ho dho@folioweekly.com / ext. 122 CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Average Jim CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, Daniel A. Brown, John E. Citrone, Hal Crowther, Julie Delegal, Jade Douso, Marvin R. Edwards, Katie Finn, AG Gancarski, Nicholas Garnett, Claire Goforth, S. Carson Howell, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, Amanda Long, Heather Lovejoy, Nick McGregor, Bonnie Mulqueen, Kara Pound, Chuck Shepherd,

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Folio Weekly is published every Wednesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received wo weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2014. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 30,000 press run. Audited weekly readership 111,191.

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9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 • Fax: 904.260.9773

anuary was cold, bitterly so. The polar vortex brought blinding blizzards and Arctic temperatures — even the First Coast dipped into the mid-20s — all along the eastern United States, bringing major cities to their knees. To climate-change deniers, those who would bury their heads in the sand as the glaciers melt and oceans rise rather than impede Big Oil in any way, this was proof that global warming is a lie cooked up by socialists and academics and the Illuminati and probably the Devil himself. They were wrong. They’re always wrong. Worldwide, last month was the fourthhottest January since at least 1880 (when we started keeping these kinds of records), and the warmest since 2007. Alaska, western Canada, northern China, Australia, Mongolia, Greenland and southern Russia all saw average temperatures 5 degrees Fahrenheit above normal. Much of the Southern Hemisphere, particularly in Africa and South America, saw record highs. Arctic sea ice was 5 percent below average. (Antarctic sea ice, meanwhile, was well above average during a season in which it normally shrinks, which the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration links to climate change as well.) The climate is changing. The world is warming. Disruption and destruction and chaos and catastrophe — floods, droughts, hurricanes, wars over dwindling resources — loom on the horizon. This is a fact. We deny it at our own peril — especially in Florida, whose coastlines are endangered by sea-level changes. “The question for Floridians is not whether they will be affected, but how much — that is, to what degree sea-level rise will continue, how rapidly, what other climate changes will accompany sea-level rise, and what the longterm effects of those changes will be,” the Florida Oceans and Coastal Council warned in a 2010 report. Our planet isn’t fragile — it will be around for several billion years more. Life on it, and our way of life, is. I was thinking about this as we put together this Outdoors Issue. We live in a spectacularly beautiful place, near the ocean and magnificent rivers and lakes, surrounded by lush and vibrant scenery. How much of it will be here for our children and grandchildren? What legacy are we leaving to posterity? It’s not just climate change. It’s also the toxins and pollutants we dump into our waterways; the wetlands we bulldoze in the name of sprawl; the rampant and unfettered growth that taxes our drinking water supply; the 2030 Mobility Plan, which seeks to direct development toward the urban core while encouraging bicycle and pedestrian traffic, that we neuter at every possible opportunity; the plans to dredge the St. Johns River in the name of commerce. Nature is not ours to do with as we please. Nature is a gift to be treasured and respected. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The good man is the friend of all living things.” The question I pose to you, Jacksonville, is this: Are we good men (and women)? Or is that too damn inconvenient?  Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman jbillman@folioweekly.com


FULL EXPOSURE // DENNIS HO

MEN IN KILTS: The Clay County Sheriffs’ Office Pipes & Drums parade was held during the Northeast Florida Scottish Highland Games & Festival at Clay County Fairgrounds in Green Cove Springs on Feb. 22. The volunteer group, formed in 2008, practices every Thursday night in Orange Park and is officially affiliated with the Clay County Sheriff’s Office, hence their shirt insignias and tartan colors.

MAIL

In Defense of Dunn

So in this article [Editor’s Note, “Some Justice. No Peace,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Feb. 19], you blame Mike Dunn and George Zimmerman for defending themselves against two black kids. Let me just say this: If you are ever threatened with death from anyone, you’ll wish you had protection. And both kids had a chance to avoid the conflict. Jordan should have kept his mouth shut and respected the request to turn down the music, and Trayvon could have kept walking. They decided not to. Now they are dead. Maybe they should worry about folks with concealed carry permits before kids spout off or throw the first punch. They’d be alive today. Grow up and learn respect no matter what you think of the other guy. — Bill Cullen

Admitting the Problem

I read with interest “Unfiltered” [Cover Story, Arpad Lovas, Jan. 29]. I recalled the time in Jacksonville when no one talked about the problem because, according to the powers that be, we had no problem. Seemingly, the homeless problem ended in Charleston, S.C., where a Democratic mayor was addressing it. However, the whole nation was discussing possible solutions. The story was that Gov. Reubin Askew, then a civil rights-minded leader, gathered his aides together after a national governors meeting and inquired what was this “homeless problem” the governors were talking about. He was assured that Florida was not having the problem. I became executive director of Travelers Aid Society of Jacksonville in November 1999. I learned immediately that indeed we had a huge homeless problem. Our agency sounded the alarm, but we were quickly ignored. The

problem kept increasing, and with our very limited resources, we were bailing out a sinking ship. And then, lo and behold, federal money became available. All of a sudden, mental health clinics and agencies were requesting our statistics! Indeed we did have a problem, and we needed that money. Travelers Aid Society did not share in the windfall. The homeless problem has continued to worsen, especially in the most recent years. I saw the problem eyeball-to-eyeball from 1979 through the mid-1990s, when our United Way funding was cut. Just prior to that year, United Way was steering Travelers Aid Society to be the lead agency for a homeless shelter. But again federal money appeared and the Sulzbacher Center became a reality. Travelers Aid Society was not needed. We applauded the reality of the Sulzbacher and I have volunteered my services there. Yes, the homeless problem continues to be a blight on our community. And I rub shoulders with the homeless working as a volunteer at Downtown Ecumenical Services Council, the agency serving the homeless, whenever I can. After providing them with food, clothing or financial assistance, I try to remember to wish them “God bless you,” because God knows they need it.  — Bill Dunford

Correction In last week’s story “Witness to the Prosecution,” we wrote that, at the Gate convenience store that fateful day, Michael Dunn told his girlfriend that Jordan Davis and his friends were listening to “rap crap.” Indeed, while he testified that he does refer to rap that way, there was no testimony that he said it to his girlfriend at that moment. She testified that he said, “I hate that thug music.” We regret the error.

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NEWS BUZZ

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We’re Screwed For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. old feasibility study on a new convention center, So, PROOF um, Florida sucks. We’re not saying just to be setting wheels in motion that will, if successful, lead to FAX YOUR IF POSSIBLE ATthat268-3655 mean, though we do like to be mean. We’re saying it because we’ve got data. It’s empirical – and across the board: schools, roads, infrastructure, education, jobs. Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck. Produced by _KL Checked by Sales Rep KL Such are the findings of a new study from the LeRoy Collins Institute. Authored by University of Florida economists David Denslow and James Dewey, it’s a follow-up to a 2005 report, Tougher Choices: Shaping Florida’s Future, which found that Florida was too reliant on the housing boom (remember that?) for its economic fortunes and too disinterested in building for the future. “This report … finds little progress since 2005,” Denslow and Dewey write. Ugh. “In a lot of ways, the state of Florida is really near the bottom of the barrel,” Dewey tells us. Ugh again. Let’s dig in to some of the … well, highlights doesn’t seem like the right word: We have an economy dependent on retirees and tourists, and consequently too many low-wage service jobs. Not coincidentally, per-student spending and teacher salaries are both behind not only the nation, but also the South. We spend less on higher education than every other state in the country, and our young people are less likely to be college-educated than their peers in other states. Our middle class has totally collapsed. We have precious few high-skill, high-wage jobs. Medicaid is already the state’s largest expenditure, and, even though we’re less generous with care than most states, it’s going to keeping suffocating the budget because we have lots of shit jobs and poor people. The gas tax, the thing we rely on to pay for roads to be built and repaired, isn’t indexed for inflation, so we can’t keep up with infrastructure, even though congestion is godawful in all of the state’s urban areas. Depressed yet? “No longer can Florida be a state that is cheap and proud of it,” the report says. “That seems unfortunate, if not silly, in a competitive, global economy that feeds on high-skilled jobs.” In other words, we’re screwed. Or, in academicspeak: “The news is grim.” Need some cheering up? Georgia is now letting its yahoos have Confederate flag license plates. At least we’re not them.

taxpayers shelling out upward of $300 million for a

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Because bad ideas never really die, Jacksonville City Councilman Richard Clark has introduced legislation to spend $60,000 to update a seven-year-

Back in 2007, you’ll recall, the city’s study identified several options for expanding or replacing _ the Prime Osborn Convention Center, which opened in 1986. The biggest knocks against the Prime Osborn are its distance from Downtown and the lack of major hotels nearby. So the feasibility study recommended either expanding the convention center, building a new one in two phases next to the Hyatt Regency Riverfront Hotel, or building a new center across the river from EverBank Field on JEA-owned land. Mayor Alvin Brown, meanwhile, campaigned on bringing a “world-class” convention center Downtown, and has said he wants any new facility to be part of a Downtown development master plan. Which, if you want a more robust Downtown, and we do, sounds lovely. Until you consider the reality of the situation: The convention industry is dying. Newer and bigger and better buildings won’t save it. Between 2000 and 2010, according to The Wall Street Journal, convention centers nationwide lost 40 million attendees per year, even as the amount of convention space nearly doubled in the last two decades. These expansions are – as Jacksonville’s will no doubt be – financed by loads of debt that cities take on with the promise of convention riches just beyond the horizon. But with cities everywhere pumping more and more money into these things, making them grander and grander, while competing for a smaller pool of conventioneers, you end up with a death spiral of diminishing returns. Neither Visit Jacksonville nor SMG, the company that runs manages most city venues, including the convention center, responded to our requests for the Prime Osborn’s attendance figures by deadline.

An Offer You Can’t Refuse Speaking of Hizzoner, did you know Mayor Brown is the Tony Soprano of Jax politics? At least according to Peter Bower, the CEO of Riverplace Capital Management and Brown’s interim appointment to the JEA board of directors. Bower wants a full four-year term. And, he says, Brown is willing to give it to him – for a price. Brown, you know because you read this publication with a religious fervor found only in Kentucky snake-handlers, wants the JEA to make his proposed pension fix work by conjuring up $40 million a year [Cover Story, “Jacksonville’s Pension Crisis: An Explainer,” Ron Word, Feb. 12]. According to Bower, Brown’s chief financial officer, Ronnie Belton, asked

him before a JEA meeting last week to vote in favor of the mayor’s proposal … or else. Nice job you have there. Be a shame if something happened to it. Bower refused, then declined Belton’s alleged request to resign, then whined to the Times-Union about Brown’s “strong-arming.” Belton disputes Bower’s version of events. But no matter. The chairman of the Duval County Republican Party is demanding a state investigation, which of course is only about good governance and not at all about election-season point-scoring. In any event, while it looked like Brown was going to hold up Bower’s reappointment, now the mayor says he supports keeping him in that post. Magnanimity, thy name is Alvin Brown.

Free Unicorns! Except, that is, when it comes to polls he doesn’t like. Earlier this week, the University of North Florida released a wide-ranging new poll of Duval residents. Some of the findings were less than surprising: You want better schools and are worried about crime. (Stop being so damned paranoid, people. Crime rates are at historic lows.) You’d also overwhelmingly like the city to pass that human rights ordinance (duh) and are apathetic about Downtown (really?). You’re also cheap: 56 percent of you don’t want higher taxes to shore up the city’s pension, and 73 percent (!) of you oppose the mayor’s plan to raid the JEA. You’d rather make city workers work longer and pay more toward their own retirements. Brown’s office, which has been fighting back a tide of media scorn since the JEA idea left his lips, isn’t having it. A few hours after that poll’s release, Brown flack David DeCamp blasted out a response deriding the Times-Union’s “misstated headline and coverage online.” (He used to work there. Awkward.) DeCamp’s beef is that the poll told respondents that JEA’s “increased contribution might lead to higher electric rates,” which is pretty much what JEA officials say, as they don’t have $40 million a year lying around in the petty cash drawer. “Mayor Brown does not support a rate increase,” DeCamp wrote in his missive. Instead, he says, the city can help JEA “find savings and revenue opportunities,” including shaving off a half-billion dollars from the utility’s pension costs. See how that works? All benefits, no costs. Money for nothing, chicks for free. Everyone wins! And had the UNF poll framed the question that way, more people would support it. You would also support free unicorns. And so would we. – Jeffrey C. Billman and Ron Word


SPORTSTALK

Bloodsport

Greyhound racing is irrelevant and immoral. It should be illegal, too

G

reyhound racing is, by all accounts, a dying sport. Less popular with each passing year, it seems more and more that the tracks that still exist aren’t there because they themselves are a draw, but because of an arcane state law passed in the ’90s that allows tracks to feature lucrative poker tables if they run at least 90 percent of the number of races they held in 1996. So even as fewer and fewer people gamble on the dogs — and even as the industry hemorrhages money (Florida tracks lost $35 million in 2012) — the tracks remain. Poker is not without its problems. People can get in over their heads and spend money they don’t have. But one thing poker tables don’t have is a body count. The same can’t be said for greyhound racing. On Feb. 15, the Miami Herald and Tampa Bay Times published an exposé of the industry. Drawing on newly available records, the investigation found that 74 dogs had died on racetrack properties in Florida in the last six months of 2013 — one every three days, on average. Jacksonville tracks were not immune. One greyhound, the 3-year-old, fawncolored Penrose Jake, had his final race at Orange Park Kennel Club last August. Jake started strong that night, but then slammed into another dog and finished last. A few hours later, following a 127-race career, he was dead. The track didn’t say what caused Jake’s death. It didn’t have to: While Florida lawmakers recently began forcing tracks to report greyhound deaths, the tracks don’t always provide detailed information about what happened. In early September, a greyhound named Hallo Spice Key died after being sprinted around a Jacksonville track in the pre-dawn hours, long before a race. “It appears the death could have been prevented had the greyhound not been sprinted in the dark,” the report concluded. Most of these deaths are, in fact, preventable, the dogs victims of the industry’s greed. Thirtyone dogs in that six-month span died or were euthanized for race-related reasons — injuries, heat stroke, etc. — while another 17 died after falling or suffering collisions during races. In Florida, unlike in other states that are home to dog racing, track owners don’t have to report injuries. The Florida Greyhound Association, which represents dog owners and trainers, blames the state’s poorly maintained tracks for many dogs’

injuries and deaths (though the association does not favor expanding reporting requirements). Hallo Spice Key was raced by the notorious James “Barney” O’Donnell Kennels, implicated earlier this year by the Florida Division of Parimutuel Wagering for keeping anabolic steroids onsite at South Florida tracks. (This isn’t the industry’s first allegation related to performance enhancers: In 2010, I wrote about the apparent practice of dosing dogs with cocaine to give them an extra boost. The industry’s theory then was that certain “rampant cocaine users” could’ve coked up the dogs by petting them. Of course, that doesn’t make sense. But what about greyhound racing does?) O’Donnell makes a convenient scapegoat. When I asked bestbet Jax, which operates races at Orange Park Kennel Club, about the allegations, I received this from president Jamie Shelton’s PR guy: “bestbet … is committed to providing the highest level of safety and protection for the greyhounds that race at the facility. There is a zero-tolerance policy for any kennel or person who puts at risk the health and welfare of the animals. As soon as bestbet became aware that the O’Donnell kennel had been sited [sic] by the state, they were banned from racing at Orange Park.” In other words, the problem isn’t the sport or the track, but a rogue actor.

One thing poker tables don’t have is a body count. This canned response ignored my other questions: the humaneness of greyhound racing, its future viability, the superannuated law that keeps tracks going as covers for poker rooms (which are thriving, and in 24-hour operation on weekends). Greyhound racing is not as inhumane as, say, cockfighting. But there is something horrifying about it; targeted to the degenerate gambler, vulgar to the core, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that out of the 21 tracks still going nationwide, 13 are in Florida — and like so many of the industry’s dogs, maybe it’s time this sport be put down once and for all.  AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7


CRIME CITY

ADVERTISING PROOF Lessons Learned from Louts and Lushes This is a copyright protected proof ©

Maybe we shouldn’t throw the book at every petty criminal

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. t’s nearly spring, a time when college students FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT tire 268-3655 of N-dimensional geometry puzzles, the

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raptures of Wordsworth and the difficulties RUN DATE: 022614 of deciding if Napoleon was a hero or a monster. Soon they will flock to Florida to

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spend their parents’ money and give AnheuserSales Rep __SS_

Busch distributors a second Christmas. The dummies will go to Daytona Beach to find chill winds, a cold ocean and sharks too sluggish to nip off hands and feet as they do so playfully in summer. The smarties will head south to Key West, where temps will be in the 80s and the hibiscus in bloom. Even better, Key West cops will have changed procedures. Instead of making misdemeanor arrests, they will issue Notices to Appear for indiscretions such as carrying open booze and beer containers, wee-weeing on historic buildings, ralphing corn dogs and fries into the crystalline waters, indecorous display of magnificent breasts, and the usual scuffling over women, sports teams and manhood. The miscreants will be processed immediately through ad hoc Spring Break courts, fined $40 and assigned eight hours of picking up beer cans, sandwich wrappers and used condoms from city streets. The punishment is condign and leaves enough credit on Mater and Pater’s cards to stoke local merchants, hoteliers and restaurateurs before the next hurricane comes. Under this mild regime, roisterers are duly restrained and returned to school without criminal records that cause annoying problems with future job interviews and scholarship applications. It’s all quite civilized. These NTAs work in Key West at Spring Break, but they could work everywhere all the time. Consider Jacksonville’s petty offenders. They are, alas, less frolicsome than the college kids. They drink, drug and brawl through the Kit-Kat and other noisome clubs. They holler at, pound, bite, scratch and yank out the hair of their spouses and fuck-buddies. They don’t use lights on their bicycles at night and — horrors — often walk on streets instead of sidewalks. Their hygiene is generally as deficient as their grammar. Don’t get me started on the haircuts. But you don’t fear them. In general, they will not break into your home at night and pop a cap into your butt just to steal the flatscreen. They’re not sticking you up on the street, murdering for hire or fun, burning houses for

cash, raping women and children or swiping cars for transshipment to Bahrain. They are failing to pay traffic tickets and suspended license fees — very naughty indeed. In Jacksonville, cops arrest and jail about 15,000 of these mopes every year. That generates 15,000 cases, about 30,000 hearings in courtrooms under the jail and in the marbleized Palace of Justice, and financial ruin for incalculable numbers of mamas, sisters, girlfriends and grandmas who show up at all hours at the Dye and Crews bond joints to bail these jerkoffs out of the jug and to pay the fines, fees and costs. No wonder Jacksonville is so damn poor. But why arrest and jail them? Why not treat them like the college kids, with a Notice to Appear, a fine and some paper and bottle pickup? Heck, with the hordes our cops vacuum up, we could put giant work gangs into safety harnesses and repaint that rusty railroad bridge Downtown. (Yes, CSX, you know how nasty it is.) We might even wash and unlock the restrooms on the Riverwalk so that senior citizens like me could take a leak in private without having to hang it out over the St. Johns. We could clean graffiti, which covers buildings everywhere like gravity.

No wonder Jacksonville is so damn poor. In Virginia, petty offenders appear not in courts, but in the offices of Justices of the Peace, who are not judges and not even lawyers. They’re civil servants who correct the behaviors of careless, foolish, stupid, drunk and drugged humanity outside of the justice system. What they don’t do is damage defendants’ futures with criminal records and siphon their relatives’ savings into the government’s coffers. If Jacksonville ever adopts so enlightened a treatment of misdemeanor miscreants, the city’s car dealers, home contractors, dentists and professors should gather in front of the courthouse, chant prayers and sing hosannas. Perhaps they could roast an ox. It would be something new, and tasty, In Crime City.  Wes Denham mail@folioweekly.com


FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9


Go! I

You live in one of the most beautiful places on earth. act like it.

t’s easy to lose sight of the beauty that surrounds you. You’ve got work, bills, kids, whatever. We all do it. But as Daylight Saving Time returns this week, as the sunshine lingers and these peculiarly cold nights turn into a springtime envied all over this country, we at Folio Weekly thought it a particularly good moment to turn our attention to the great outdoors, to the wonders and mysteries and treasures that await us in the woods and on the waters and wherever we go in Northeast Florida. In the pages that follow, you’ll find pieces on stand-up paddleboarding, hiking, camping, ziplining and more,

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

as well as a guided tour of this region’s most precious environmental resource, the St. Johns River, from the woman whose job it is to keep it clean and safe. You’ll also find gobs of information on how to make the most of all of our natural amenities — what to do, where to do it, and the folks who will supply you with the gear you need to get it done. From parks to bikes, from camping to watersports to outdoor festivals, no matter what you want to do, Folio Weekly’s inaugural Outdoors Issue has you covered.


A River Runs Through It

A boat tour of the St. Johns with the woman whose job it is to protect it

“W

hen I came here in 2004, I did not want to go in that water.” Randy Olsen wasn’t alone — and a decade on, there are still plenty of people who share that view, despite the considerable progress that’s been made. He’s no longer one of them. A retired volunteer for the St. Johns Riverkeeper — the nonprofit that acts as the river’s advocate, pushing back against the rapacious forces of industry and development that damn near killed the St. Johns in the 20th century and would love to continue plundering it to their own ends in the 21st — Olsen will serve as captain on my guided tour of the river this bracingly chilly Valentine’s Day afternoon. Olsen’s in dark aviator glasses and a thick khaki shirt emblazoned with the group’s logo. We’re standing in the parking lot of Sadler Point Marina, where the organization’s boat, a 27-foot, flat-bottomed vessel called The King Fisher that’s normally used to investigate and document pollutants and fish kills and all the many things that can wreak havoc on wildlife and water quality, waiting for Lisa Rinaman, the woman whose job title shares the name of the group she leads: Riverkeeper. If you pay much attention to environmental issues, you’ve seen Rinaman’s name in the news: dredging, water withdrawals, development schemes, algae, you name it. (Fun fact: Soon after she first arrived in Jacksonville in 1997, Rinaman applied for a sales job at Folio Weekly. That she didn’t get it, and went on to be a policy advisor to Mayors Delaney and Peyton before joining the Riverkeeper, is probably for the best.) Rinaman, who’s been on the job for two years now, has volunteered to give me a tour of the river — very much this region’s lifeblood, and one of Northeast Florida’s most vital and precious natural resources — as she sees it: the magnificent vista of Downtown on a cloudless, sunny day, yes, but also the omnipresent threats lurking in the shadows. And make no mistake, she tells me after we launch: The river is still endangered. Not like it was a few decades ago, back before the Clean Water Act. Back then, she says, the city deemed it fit to dump 15 million gallons of untreated sewage into the river every day. Even a few years ago, the water was gross and smelly and uninviting. Things were so bad that the city couldn’t get developers to build on riverfront property, which is why, when you boat through Downtown, you see the old City Hall and courthouse and Duval County Public Schools building and the jail taking up what

would be, anywhere else, prime real estate. (“We are probably the only community with a riverfront jail,” Rinaman says.) Today, she says, the biggest threats come from JAXPORT’s plan to dredge the river to make room for larger ships (and, theoretically, more shipping-related jobs) and water managers’ aims at draining it for drinking and landscaping water elsewhere in the state. (Rinaman is the co-author, with Riverkeeper executive director Jimmy Orth, of this week’s Backpage Editorial on just this subject; see page 47.) And then there’s the pollution. “There are times we’ve had to tell people to stay away from the river,” she says. “It’s not just a cosmetic thing.” She’s referring to the green algae blooms last summer that turned parts of the river a sickly green and likely led to fish kills, the result of too much nutrient pollution. “Too much nitrogen, too much phosphorus,” Rinaman says. “Agriculture has to be held accountable for their part.” It’s too cold for the algae now, she says, but they’ll be back, and probably soon. The algae, she says, aren’t so much an illness as a symptom; they feed on pollutants, so when they show up in abundance, that’s a sign that the river is sick. Given all that, not to mention this region’s addiction to unfettered, uncontrolled growth, you could forgive Rinaman for being pessimistic, but she doesn’t strike me that way at all. She sees a certain romanticism in the river. When she and her husband were dating,

HIKING TRAILS

she tells me, they would take a boat out to a spot just between San Marco to the east and Riverside to the west, and watch the sun setting — a fiery, red sun — over Downtown. “This is one of my favorite date spots,” she tells me. And last year’s State of the River Report contained signs that water quality is improving, especially the levels of nitrogen and bacteria from sewage, which have decreased. The JEA’s under-construction wastewater treatment projects could remove another 1.6 million pounds of nitrogen. Most of all, there’s potential in the fact that the river snakes the urban core as it does. If the river is preserved and maintained, if we can get beyond the urge to raid it and pollute it to sate our desire for growth and sprawl, it could be the catalyst for the kind of real-city development that you see in places like Austin and San Antonio, the germs of which you see in things like the Riverside Arts Market. But first, Rinaman has to convince us that the river is worth saving, worth improving, even if that means more regulations and more environmental controls. And apathy runs deep: In a survey that Jacksonville University professor Ray Oldakowski had his students conduct last year, only 2 percent of Jacksonville residents rated environmental protection the city’s top priority. “People are not interacting with the river in the way we think they should,” he told the Times-Union. “Until people get to have fun using the river, they’re not going to find it crucial.” But it is crucial, and there’s so much to do: It’s not just watersports, either — although I’m very much inclined to kayak McCoys Creek, which runs under the Times-Union building and into Brooklyn, when the weather warms, and maybe boat out to Exchange (or Rattlesnake) Island, gems that would have entirely escaped my notice had Rinaman not pointed them out to me. It’s also about making this city cool. Imagine what we could do with that old, abandoned building where Ford used to build Model T’s, or how we could create a network of waterfront parks that connect the neighborhoods surrounding Downtown, or a Metro Park that now brims with activity only when a music festival comes to town. The possibilities are endless. But none of it happens without a healthy St. Johns River. “I try to look at it not as missed opportunity but future potential,” Rinaman tells me. “Of course, I’ve been saying that for 15 years.”  Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com

BIG TALBOT ISLAND STATE PARK 12157 Heckscher Dr., A1A, Ft. George Island, 251-2320 Five separate hiking trails on a sea island with diverse habitats, ideal for photography and birdwatching. BLACK CREEK PARK & TRAIL Green Cove Springs/Fleming Island, 386-329-4404 It’s the staging area for a 7-mile pedestrian/bicycle trail along U.S. 17. EGAN’S CREEK GREENWAY 2500 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-7350 Grass-covered, mosquito-controlled roads can be used for walking or bicycling. A spot for birdwatchers, open 8 a.m.-6 p.m. Mon.-Fri.; leashed dogs allowed. FAVER-DYKES STATE PARK South of St. Augustine at I-95 & U.S. 1, 794-0997 Two 5-mile hiking trails, several miles of land available for hiking, and a dock for launching canoes and kayaks. FLORIDA NATIONAL SCENIC TRAIL 352-378-8823, 877-445-3352, floridatrail.org More than 1,400 miles of continuous trail from Gulf Island National Seashore near Pensacola to Big Cyprus National Preserve near Miami and Naples. A portion of the Florida Trail is in the southwestern quadrant of Clay County. GUANA TOLOMATO MATANZAS RESERVE South Ponte Vedra Beach on A1A, 823-4500 Hiking and biking along 9-plus miles of nature trails and old service roads through the interior of the reserve. JACKSONVILLE/BALDWIN RAIL-TRAIL 2 Imeson Rd., Jacksonville, 573-2498 The 14.5-mile trail (converted from abandoned rail tracks) is perfect for biking, hiking, in-line skating and running. KINGSLEY PLANTATION, half-mile north of Mayport Ferry Landing, Ft. George Island, 251-3537, nps.gov A national park within Timucuan Ecological & Historic Preserve, Kingsley Plantation is the oldest remaining plantation house in Florida, complete with ruins of slave quarters. Free admission. Open 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily. LITTLE TALBOT ISLAND STATE PARK S.R. A1A, Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island, 251-2320 A 4-mile nature trail on a sea island with maritime forests, dunes and saltmarshes, just south of Big Talbot Island. THEODORE ROOSEVELT AREA 13165 Mt. Pleasant Rd., Jacksonville, 641-7155 Part of Timucuan Ecological & Historic Preserve. Four miles of hiking trails over sand dunes and through maritime forests, and an observation tower. TILLIE K. FOWLER REGIONAL PARK Timuquana & Roosevelt Boulevard, Jacksonville The 509-acre park has 3 miles of mixed hiking trails and two miles of off-road biking trails, through sand hills, forest and swamp. Open 5 a.m.-9 p.m. UNIVERSITY OF NORTH FLORIDA 4567 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Jacksonville, 620-1810 Five miles of nature trails and boardwalks through a natural preserve. Trails are open daily, sunrise to sunset.

ORGANIZED RUNS/MARATHONS

ORTEGA RIVER RUN 2014, dailysortegariverrun.org The annual event is a one-mile fun run (8 a.m.) and a 5-mile Grand Prix race (8:30 a.m.) March 1 at St. Mark’s Episcopal Day School, 4114 Oxford Ave., Ortega. Proceeds benefit scholarship students. LIGHTHOUSE 5K & FUN RUN, lighthouse5krun.com The 22nd annual run is 4:30 p.m. March 1 at St. Augustine Lighthouse, 81 Lighthouse Ave. The fun run is at 5:30 p.m. The course includes 3.1 miles through Lighthouse Park and Davis Shores. Register online by Feb. 28 at lighthouse5krun.com.

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11


freshwater seashells, finding a bike trail on the other side. It was midday on a Tuesday, and the park was mostly empty, save for a few enthusiastic riders. On a busier day, it might have been unwise to hike on the roughly 4-foot-wide biking path. A peculiar-looking rider in a skintight spandex suit with a mountain-man face poking from beneath his helmet sped by, and I had to hug the treeline to stay out of his path. After a few more minutes, I found a sign for the hiking path and followed it. There was a considerable difference between the biking and hiking trails. The terrain was fairly hilly for Florida, root-

satisfied with the hike, the exit would just present itself. Luckily, I didn’t have to resort to drinking my own urine or slicing open the belly of a wild tauntaun, sleeping inside it to maintain a pulse — park rangers might have frowned on such behavior. Instead, I found a paved road and followed it back to the parking lot. I had been hiking for only about an hour and a half, but I must have covered some ground, because it was quite the walk back. But even strolling down the two-lane street was a pleasant experience, with live oak tree hammocks towering over the street and the sound of the nearby ocean’s shore-break

I left the park feeling more refreshed than winded, bloodied or bruised.

T

his morning began with a resolution to reconnect with nature. I didn’t need to be at the park for a few more hours, but for some reason, waking up with the sun felt necessary. I was drowsy from a late night of half-attentively skimming through the Netflix catalogue of Man vs. Wild — a last-ditch refresher course for the adventure ahead. With trail names like “Grunt,” “Misery” and “Tornado Alley,” I expected a daunting, formidable experience from Kathryn Abbey Hanna Park, located just south of Naval Station Mayport. The park’s trails are known for being as excruciating as they are scenic, and with 447 acres of woods to explore, there’s plenty of scenery to take in. But, honestly, nature was just the icing on the cake; I was here for the challenge. The

FINNISH LINE RUN CLUB 5K The course starts at 1st Place Sports at the Markets at Town Center and concludes at BlackFinn American Grille, 4840 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Center, 6:30 p.m. March 3, 10, 17 and 24. PRS RUNNING CLUB, 316-8122, prsrunningclub.com The club has weekly runs and various 5Ks during the year. Fletcher Middle School 5K Wave of Success run is 8:30 a.m. March 8 at SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street and First Avenue North, Jax Beach. Proceeds benefit FMS PTSA. MUTT MARCH PET WALK & FESTIVAL, jaxhumane.org The annual Jacksonville Humane Society fundraiser is 9 a.m.-1 p.m. March 8 at Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown. There’s a kids’ zone, live music, a silent auction, pet adoptions and vendors selling pet-centric stuff as well as human food and drink. NEON VIBE 5K, theneonvibe.webconnex.com/jax The after-dark, fluorescent glow-light fun run/fundraiser for Children’s Miracle Network is 7 p.m. March 8 at Metro Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown. Participants run a non-competitive 3.1-mile course with four UV blacklight glow zone color stations and dance music set up along the way. GATE RIVER RUN, 731-1900, gate-riverrun.com The 37th annual run – the largest 15K in the U.S. – is March 15 between EverBank Field and Metro Park Downtown, with $85,000 in prize money going to the winners from among about 24,000 runners. MUCKFEST MS 5K MUD & FUN RUN, muckfestms.org The benefit features live music, food, kids’ activities and a muddy obstacle course, March 22 at Jax Equestrian Center, 13611 Normandy Blvd., Jacksonville. Proceeds benefit the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. 5K/10K TRAIL RUN, 823-4527, 823-4500, gtmnerr.org Friends of the GTM Research Reserve’s fifth annual trail run is 9 a.m. March 22; meet at trailhead pavilion, 505 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

homemade video a quick YouTube search turned up of people riding the trails — complete with a death metal backing track — bode well. After paying the city park’s $3 entrance fee, I parked in a clearing, turned off my cell phone and threw it in the pack. No emoticons to distract me. No Pandora Radio to keep me from soaking up the sights and sounds. The great outdoors had my full and undivided attention. Shirtsleeves rolled up, my weekend beard and I set out afoot. It was my first visit here, and I was unfamiliar with the park’s layout, so I walked along a gravel road that wrapped around a large lake, looking for an entrance into the trails. After about a quarter-mile, I stopped looking and just clambered around a man-made hill of earth, rusty metal and Guana River Rd., Ponte Vedra. Advance registration is $25; $30 after March 15; $15 for students with valid ID. $3 per vehicle parking fee. Proceeds benefit GTM research and conservation programs. TOUR DE PAIN EXTREME, 1stplacesports.com The 10K is at 8 a.m., the 5K at 6 p.m. March 29 and the half-marathon at 7 a.m. March 30 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown. A post-race party features free beer, food and live music. Entry fees vary for the three races; see the website for details. THE FLAVOR RUN 5K, flavorrun.com, nocatee.com Participants in this 5K, starting at 9 a.m. April 5 in Nocatee, are coated in different colors of fruit-flavored powder at each mile. Proceeds benefit Camp Boggy Creek. HUMAN RACE 5K WALK & RUN, handsonjacksonville.org Hands On Jax’s race includes a 1-mile fun run ($24 registration), at 8 a.m. April 5 at St. Johns Town Center, Southside. It’s open to all; 50 percent of registration fee ($40 till March 29, $45 till April 4, $50 on race day) benefits the nonprofit partner agency of your choice. BFAS SPRINT SERIES TRIATHLON 270-1771, bfasracing.org Beaches Fine Arts Series holds these fundraisers, featuring a .25-mile swim, 16.8-mile bike ride and a 3.4-mile run, at 7 a.m. on May 17, June 14 and July 12 at Naval Station Mayport. NEVER QUIT, neverquitnever.com Expo and live music 10 a.m.-9 p.m. May 30 and 31; Moonlight Movies are The Blind Side and Pirates of the Caribbean. Events include Warrior Challenge, Junior Warrior Challenge, Battle for the Beach, 1 Mile Run, Yoga on the Beach, Trident, two 5K runs, and an awards ceremony at 8 p.m. May 31 by SeaWalk Pavilion, 11 First St. N., Jax Beach. Registration fees vary for each event.

knotted routes that dipped into creeks with turf-like moss coated across their surface. Bridges and crosswalks made of recently cut cypress reached across them. Even in the thick of the woods, I could feel the nearby ocean breeze coming through the trees. It was nice. I thought the quiet would get boring — I’ve become unfamiliar to any extended period of time not accompanied by a soundtrack or continual interruption from phone or email — but I quickly grew used to the sounds of the forest. I could better hear myself think among the birds fluttering around from branch to branch, the fish popping at the surface of the creek and all that Davy Crockett kind of stuff. It was really only when I decided it was time to leave that I realized I was lost. In retrospect, I’m not sure what I was expecting to happen. Perhaps I thought that once I felt

ORGANIZED BIKE RIDES/CLUBS

KATIE RIDE FOR LIFE, 491-0811, katierideforlife.org The 10th annual event, to raise funds and awareness of organ and tissue donation, kicks off at 8 a.m. April 12 with individual and team cyclists riding 100, 62, 36 or 18 miles; plus an off-road and Family Fun Ride and 5K and 10K walks, starting at Atlantic Recreation Center, 2500 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Registration is $45; $50 at the race.

TOUR DE FORTS, 861-7373, nfbc.us North Florida Bicycle Club’s 23rd annual Tour de Forts is April 27 starting at Bartram Trail High School, 7399 Longleaf Pine Parkway, St. Johns, featuring riding distances of 21, 38, 62 and 100 miles along the St. Johns River and Atlantic Ocean. Registration is $40 for club members, $55 nonmembers; go to nfbc.us by April 14. Day-of registration is $65. FBA: FIRST COAST CLUB 291-8664, floridabicycle.org/chapter/firstcoast The Florida Bicycle Association’s local chapter’s mission is, according to their website, to inspire and support people and communities to enjoy greater freedom and well-being through bicycling. Sounds about right to us. NORTH FLORIDA BICYCLE CLUB nfbc.us, ridedirector@nfbc.us The club has rides of various levels and various distances, from many starting points throughout Northeast Florida, so you really have no excuse not to join in. Cycling classes, clinics and training sessions are also offered. The Endless Summer Watermelon Ride is held Sept. 7. SORBAJAX, sorbajax.org The Southern Off Road Bicycle Association’s local chapter, promoting safe cycling, meets at 6:30 p.m. March 10 at REI, 4862 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Center. VELO BICYCLE CLUB, velobrew.com Open to enthusiasts of all levels and skills to help train for

fading in and out of earshot. I left the park feeling more refreshed than winded, bloodied or bruised. It seemed that the challenge for which the park is so reputable, the challenge that drew me to it, is in hurling a bicycle-on-steroids over the stumps and the slopes — the hiking didn’t require much more exertion than navigating the flat-trails on University of North Florida’s campus. But what the footpaths lacked in challenge, they more than made up for in natural beauty. Today, the trails of Hanna Park had not claimed my life or limb or severed the ties between me and civilized conduct. They did, however, leave me with a newfound respect for the nature of the park and another resolution to return.  Travis Crawford mail@folioweekly.com

races and plain bike-riding. Go to the website for details.

CYCLING GEAR

LAKESHORE BICYCLES & FITNESS, 2108 Blanding Blvd., Jacksonville, 388-0612, lakeshorebicycles.com The retail store offers road bikes, mountain bikes, recumbent bikes and kids’ bikes, as well as helmets and accessories. Indoor trainers, too. Weekly ride groups and classes are held for all levels of riders. OPEN ROAD BICYCLES, 4460 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 636-7772, openroadbicycles.com The full-service bicycle shop, with six Northeast Florida locations, offers a large selection of bicycles as well as full repair service and rentals. PERFORMANCE BICYCLE, 4421 Southside Blvd., Southside, 899-1056, performancebike.com Bikes, accessories, clothing, nutrition and repairs – the one-stop-shop bicycle mega store has it. Group rides for beginners and intermediates are held Saturday mornings. TRAIL THRILLS, meetup.com/trail-thrills This group is for anyone interested in mountain biking and trail jogging state park systems; overnight camping, trailblazing and beach time for meditation are featured. Intermediate to advanced level rides are held weekend mornings, followed by beginner level guided trail tours. ZENCOG BICYCLE COMPANY 883 Stockton St., Riverside, 619-0496, zencog.com 815 Third St. N., Jax Beach, 853-5593 The new shop sells new and used steel bikes, frames and components. Rentals and bike repair services, too. The owners are self-admitted crazy bike freaks, which explains their zeal for all things bicycle. Buy local.

OUTDOOR FESTIVALS

CELTIC MUSIC & HERITAGE FESTIVAL March 8 and 9, Francis Field, 25 W. Castillo Dr., St. Augustine, 535-6853, celticstaugustine.com


The Outdoors Issue St. Patrick’s Parade and live music by Rathkeltair, Albannach, Dublin City Ramblers, Black 47, The Wobbly Toms, Scuttered the Bruce, Strumstick and Jig to a Milestone. Highland games are the weight throw, Scottish hammer throw, stone put and caber toss, which involves tossing a pine log or pole. Festival admission is $8. GREAT ATLANTIC MUSIC & SEAFOOD FESTIVAL Noon-10 p.m. March 15, SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street at the ocean, Jax Beach, greatatlanticmusicfest.com The 25th annual festival features regional bands, games, kids’ zone, food and seafood of every variety. ST. AUGUSTINE LIONS SEAFOOD FESTIVAL 3-9 p.m. March 21, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. March 22 and 11 a.m.-6 p.m. March 23, Francis Field, 25 W. Castillo Dr., St. Augustine, 829-1753, lionsfestival.com The 33rd annual festival has seafood specialties, an arts and crafts fair, local musicians Go Get Gone!, Katherine Archer and Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizards, The Bill Doyle Quartet, Linda Cole, Florida State Bluegrass Band and West Wend. The kids’ zone has bungee, mini-jet ride, slides, an obstacle course, bounce house and human hamster water ball. Admission is $3 for adults; free for ages 12 and younger. Proceeds benefit local charities. RAILROAD DAYS FESTIVAL, March 28 & 29, Callahan Depot, 45383 Dixie Ave., Callahan, 879-3406, wnhsfl.org The West Nassau Historical Society holds the ninth annual festival, featuring parades, live entertainment, antique cars and arts and crafts, as well as kids’ activities. New this year is the Musslewhite Turpentine Commissary artifact exhibit. For times and fees, check the website. SLIDE INTO SPRING CRAFT BEER & MUSIC FESTIVAL Noon-9 p.m. March 29, Main Beach Park, Fernandina Beach, 310-3361, slideintospring.com Craft beer tasting is noon-4 p.m., in Bar Zin Beer Garden, with 2-ounce samples from area breweries. Live music: Herd of Watts, Vagabond Swing, The Fritz, Yo Mama’s Big Fat Booty Band, Keller Williams. A kids’ zone, art walk, craft bazaar, food trucks and home brew contest are featured. General admission is $20 in advance, $25 at the gate; VIP tickets are $50. Proceeds help fund construction of Pirate Playground, an all-accessible playground to be built on Atlantic Recreation Center property. SPRINGING THE BLUES 5-10 p.m. April 4, noon-10 p.m. April 5, noon-8 p.m. April 6, SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street and First Avenue North, Jax Beach, springingtheblues.com The 24th annual free outdoor blues festival features jazz, blues and rock performers and regional up-and-comers, including Parker Urban Band, Joanne Shaw Taylor, Woody & the Peckers, Biscuit Miller, Shane Dwight, Victor

Wainwright & the Wildroots, Mama Blue, Eric Steckel, The Legendary JCs and The Lee Boys. RHYTHM & RIBS FESTIVAL, 4-10 p.m. April 4, 11 a.m.10 p.m. April 5, 11 a.m.-6 p.m. April 6, Francis Field, 25 W. Castillo Dr., St. Augustine, rhythmandribs.net The 19th annual festival has award-winning barbecue, arts and crafts, kids’ games, rides and activities and live music by Sister Hazel, Red River Band, Delbert McClinton, The Corbitt Brothers and more! Admission is $5 daily; kids younger than 13 free. Proceeds benefit local charities. OYSTER JAM MUSIC FESTIVAL, 10 a.m.-8 p.m. April 12, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. April 13, Metropolitan Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown, theoysterjammusicfestival.com The oyster roast features a shuckin’ contest, an oyster cook-off, local bands, local craft beers and arts and crafts. Entry is $10 for adults; ages 16 and younger admitted free with an adult. FLORIDA’S BIRDING & PHOTO FEST, April 30-May 4, GTM Research Reserve, 505 Guana River Rd., Ponte Vedra, 209-4422, floridabirdingandphotofest.com The 12th annual event features bird life and natural beauty at more than 110 local birding and outdoor photography sites. Nature tours, seminars, excursions and in-field photography workshops. Events are individually priced; for details, go to the website. MUSIC BY THE SEA CONCERT SERIES 7-9 p.m. Wednesdays, May 14-Sept. 24, St. Johns PROMISE OF BENEFIT County Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, thecivicassociation.org Live music; local eateries set up shop and hawk dinner for $10 or less. Performers include The Falling Bones, Rob Peck & Friends, Funk Shui and more. Bring your cooler and lawn chairs.

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CONCERTS IN THE PLAZA 7-9 p.m. Thursdays, Cathedral Place and King Street, St. Augustine, staugustinegovernment.com The free concerts are held in Plaza de la Constitución’s Gazebo, just west of the Bridge of Lions. Bring lounge chairs and picnic dinners. Alcohol is prohibited. FUN ON THE FARM, 7900 Old Kings Rd., Palm Coast, 386-446-7630, myagmuseum.com Florida Agricultural Museum presents a family farm experience 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily, all summer long; $9 for adults, $7 for children. PIRATE GATHERING, Nov. 7, 8 and 9, Francis Field, St. Augustine, pirategathering.com The seventh annual gathering features re-enactors, weapons demonstrations, parades, land battles, Thieves Market, a pub crawl and storytellers. Aaargh!

The kayaks await at University of North Florida.

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

Sal


FERNANDINA BEACH SHRIMP FESTIVAL May 2-4, shrimpfestival.com The 51st annual Isle of Eight Flags Shrimp Festival in Fernandina Beach features a pirate parade, fireworks, arts and crafts, kids’ zone, live music, a 5K run/walk and lots of shrimp. DANCIN’ IN THE STREET, 11 a.m.-9 p.m. May 17, Beaches Town Center, 246-9133 The 27th annual family festival features local bands, an art show, food, a kids’ zone, a climbing wall and free health screenings. WILD AMELIA NATURE FESTIVAL May 16-18, Fernandina Beach, Ft. Clinch, Amelia Island and Ft. George, 251-0016, wildamelia.com The ninth annual festival has guided ecotours, an EcoExpo with green and nature-based vendors, sea turtle release, kids’ activities, paddleboard tours, nature hikes, a silent auction and nature photo classes, a sunset shoot and dinner and a zoo tour. Fees vary per event. WORLD OF NATIONS CELEBRATION May 1-4, Metropolitan Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown, 630-3690, makeascenedowntown.com Multiethnic cuisine and international entertainment are featured as part of the 21st annual event. Admission is $5 for one day, $8 for two. MUG RACE, rudderclub.com The longest river race in the world – from Palatka to Orange Park – is held every year in May on the St. Johns River. This year, the 61st annual competition is held on May 3. Sailboats only. BUTTERFLY FESTIVAL 10 a.m.-4 p.m. April 26, Tree Hill Nature Center, 7152 Lone Star Rd., Arlington, 724-4646, treehill.org The annual festival features a walk-through butterfly exhibit, a butterfly release, live music, kids’ activities and animal encounters. Admission is $5 for adults, $4 seniors and military; $3 ages 4-17; free for kids younger than 3. JACKSONVILLE JAZZ FESTIVAL, May 23-26, Downtown venues, 630-3690, makeascenedowntown.com Concerts, talent showcases, piano competitions and latenight jamming, from local favorites Tropic of Cancer and St. Johns River City Band to headliners Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Yellowjackets and Trombone Shorty. Many events are free but some require tickets; VIP packages available. PALATKA BLUE CRAB FESTIVAL, May 23-26, Downtown Palatka, 386-325-4406, bluecrabfestival.com The annual festival is held along the riverfront and down St. Johns Avenue. Live music, a seafood cook-off, a beauty pageant, a Memorial Day Parade at 10 a.m. on Monday, and arts and crafts are also featured. And … um … tons and tons of those delectable darlings of the briny deep, the elegant blue crab. GREAT SOUTHERN TAILGATE COOKOFF 3-9 p.m. Aug. 22, 10 a.m.-8:30 p.m. Aug. 23, Main Beach Park, 2 N. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-4369, gstailgatecookoff.com The fifth annual cook-off features national barbecue teams and backyard teams competing for prizes and bragging rights. Admission is $5. RIGHT WHALE RUN/WALK & FESTIVAL 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Nov. 15, SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street and First Avenue North, sea2shore.org The fifth annual event, celebrating endangered North Atlantic right whales’ annual return to the only known calving area in the Southeast U.S., includes a clean-up, a beach run, a silent auction, kids’ activities, exhibits and live music.

ORGANIZED TEAM SPORTS

FIRST COAST VOLLEYBALL ASSOCIATION, fcva1.com Games are played on the sand at Jax Beach and St. Augustine Beach, kicking off with a two-day run in St. Augustine March 22 and 23, wrapping up with another 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

The Standing Is

the Hardest Part

(Mis)adventures in stand-up paddleboarding

“O

K, so these are basically training wheels.” As patient and nice as he is about it, I have the distinct feeling that Matt Hite, the head stand-up paddleboarding instructor at Black Creek Outfitters, has never had quite this much trouble coaxing a student. It’s not that I’m horrifically out of shape or un-athletic — yeah, whatever, I could lose a few pounds, thanks — but rather the bad knees and high arches and complete and utter lack of balance that rendered me inept on a surfboard in my teens have made it nigh impossible for me to accomplish even the most basic SUP task in my 30s. I can’t stand up. I’ve tried. Several times now, in fact, each attempt plunging me from the thick, 10-footand-change board ass-first into the 60-degree drink. I’m cold. I’m wet. I’m frustrated. I’m embarrassed. (This is all being photographed for my staff to gawk at.) And now he wants to give me training wheels. They’re not wheels, of course. More like buoyant floats attached to the sides of the board, in essence making it wider and sturdier and klutz-proof, such that a man like me, dispossessed of any sort of grace, can slowly, clumsily make the herky-jerky move from his knees to his feet. This really shouldn’t be hard. People race on these boards. They do yoga on these boards. They paddle for miles and miles on these boards. They surf shoulder-high waves in the ocean on these boards. And I can’t stand up without training wheels.

People have been using boards like this, in cruder forms and fashions, for thousands of years. Timucua Indians, Hite tells me, used paddleboards to navigate Northeast Florida’s many rivers and lakes ages before Europeans settled here, as did ancient cultures in Africa and South America and truly anywhere in the world where there was water that needed traversing.

75 minutes. You learn the basics — how to stand up, how to paddle, how to turn and change direction. If you stick with it, you learn how to walk up and down the board and pop the nose out of the water and other neat tricks. It’s a hell of a workout: core, arms, legs. Because of the SUP’s growing popularity, these classes proved quite in demand — Hite caps attendance at 20 people per class — so he added some more. This summer, he’ll have three a week. Even now, in February, the one he’s running is booked solid. This is the perfect place for SUP: warm water almost year-round, an endless supply of easily accessible lakes and rivers, a nearby ocean. But Jacksonville, Hite tells me, with its surfer culture that sometimes looks down on SUP, is behind other spots in Florida. A SUP club in Orlando, he says, has some 3,800 members. The Meetup group he founded, Stand Up Paddle Jacksonville, has about 500. No matter. “The idea is to create a community for stand-up,” Hite says. “That’s what I’m psyched about. It’s growing.” As the weather warms, the group will begin hosting more and more events — a paddleboarding trip on Crystal River, another on the Guana River in Ponte Vedra — as well as regular beginners’ get-togethers and certifications courses for SUP instructors. Hite, the energy behind the group and perhaps Northeast Florida’s leading SUP evangelist, practically grew up in the water. The son of two lifeguards, he, like many SUP enthusiasts, is an avid surfer. This is another outlet for him, a way to both get some exercise and take in the outdoors. He’s agile and flexible. He makes it look easy. Which it’s not — at least not for me. Training wheels attached, I again paddle myself to the middle of the lake — I really shouldn’t try to stand up anywhere near the dock, lest head injuries ensue — and slowly, one foot at a time, giving myself as wide a stance as possible (apologies to Larry Craig), wobble to my unsteady, uneasy feet. “Keep your eyes up,” Hite tells me, which

people race on these boards. they do yoga on these boards. they paddle for miles and miles on these boards Paddling as sport — specifically paddle surfing — has also been around for centuries, especially in Polynesian cultures, but really caught steam in the last decade. And then the paddle surfers began taking their boards to calmer waters — a way to stay active when the waves weren’t cooperating (which, in Florida, happens frequently). And then the thing blew up, so much so that, by 2008, the U.S. Coast Guard classified SUP boards in the same category as kayaks and canoes (which means you’re supposed to wear a personal flotation device when you ride anywhere outside of a surf zone). As with anything else, when demand emerges, supply follows, which is why Black Creek’s back room is filled with boards that start at more than $1,000. (You can find them cheaper online, Hite says, but you get what you pay for.) And that’s why, in the small lake behind the store, Hite holds SUP classes. They run about $20 a session and last about

is a nicer way of saying, “Don’t look down.” And so I do. After you stand up, the trick is to keep your paddling arm straight, sticking the paddle in the water and drawing yourself toward it. Every three or four strokes, you switch sides and hands, so as to keep yourself moving in a relatively straight line. This isn’t rocket science, but it is, in fact, quite serene, quite tranquil. When I got home later that night, I noticed that soreness of the legs and core indicative of a workout, but out here, in the middle of the water, I didn’t feel it. Instead, I felt a sense of calm, communality with nature, even though we were in a small lake adjacent to an apartment complex within shouting distance of the St. Johns Town Center. I got the charm. That doesn’t mean I’ll ever be any good at it.  Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com


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two-day Oct. 11 and 12. Membership’s free; scheduled games are on courts just south of Jax Beach Pier from Third Avenue North to Beach Boulevard, and courts near the St. Augustine pier, by the pavilion. FLORIDA STATE COLLEGE AT JACKSONVILLE 4501 Capper Rd., Northside, 766-6500, gobluewave.com 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-2111 The Blue Wave sports include men’s and women’s tennis, basketball, volleyball and softball and men’s baseball. The women’s basketball team was fifth in the state in January. Baseball and softball games are at North Campus; basketball, tennis and volleyball at South Campus. JACKSONVILLE AXEMEN, 514-8503, jaxaxe.com The city’s semi-pro rugby league team plays at Hodges Stadium, University of North Florida, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, $8; free for kids younger than 12. JACKSONVILLE BREEZE, 630-3900, lflus.com The Legends Football League has 7-on-7 full-contact football “played by some of America’s most beautiful and athletic models,” when the Breeze play the home opener against the Omaha Heart at 9 p.m. April 19 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A.P. Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $10-$60 (plus applicable fees). JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS, EverBank Field, Downtown Jacksonville, 633-6100, jaguars.com The local NFL franchise team’s 2014 preseason – its 20th – starts in August, with two home games scheduled; regular season home games are played at EverBank Field. JACKSONVILLE SHARKS, 630-3900, jaxsharks.com The hometown arena footballers take on the Tampa Bay Storm in a free preseason benefit scrimmage, 4 p.m. March 2 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Downtown; regular season single game tickets start at $13. JACKSONVILLE SUNS Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 A.P. Randolph Blvd., Downtown; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com The hometown Double-A Southern League baseball team hits the diamond against the Huntsville Stars at 7:05 p.m. April 3. runs through Sept. 1 – unless our boys are in the playoffs. Tickets range from $7.50-$22.50. JACKSONVILLE UNITED FC PRO SOCCER jacksonvilleunited.com The local National Premier Soccer League team just held tryouts in January. The new season begins in May at Patton Park, 2850 Hodges Blvd., Southside.

JACKSONVILLE UNIVERSITY DOLPHINS 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7400, judolphins.com The teams include men’s and women’s basketball, cross country, golf, lacrosse, rowing and soccer. Women’s softball, volleyball and track and field events, and men’s football are also scheduled. Most spectator single-game admission fees are less than $13; many events are free. UNIVERSITY OF NORTH FLORIDA OSPREYS 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2473, unfospreys.com Men’s and women’s sports are basketball, cross country, golf, soccer, tennis and track and field, and men’s football and women’s softball, swimming, volleyball and sand volleyball. Cross country, golf, sand volleyball, softball, swimming and diving and tennis are free. Single-game ticket prices range from $3-$15, depending on the sport.

ORGANIZATIONS/CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND SEA TURTLE WATCH 583-1913, ameliaislandseaturtlewatch.com This group is focused on the conservation of Amelia Island’s nesting sea turtle population. FIRST COAST SURFRIDER FUNDATION surfriderfirstcoast.org The nonprofit organization focuses on protecting the world’s oceans and beaches. Locally, Surfrider sponsors fundraisers, beach clean-ups and surfing contests. GREENSCAPE OF JACKSONVILLE, 1468 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville, 398-5757, greenscapeofjacksonville.com The tree-planting nonprofit group focuses on improving and preserving Jacksonville’s tree canopy.

© 2014

JACKSONVILLE SKI CLUB, P.O. Box 57178, Jacksonville FL 32241-7178, 705-5118, skiclub.org The club organizes group skiing and snowboarding trips, mostly to the Rockies and Europe, for local folks of all ages and abilities. Local social meetups, too; check Facebook and Meetup. KEEPERS OF THE COAST keepersofthecoast.org, 814-2172 The second annual Terry’s Spring Fling scramble golf tournament is at St. Johns Golf Club March 2, to raise awareness and funds for marine science and conservation programs. Registration is $65 per player, $260 per foursome; email tara@keepersofthecoast.org. The annual Spring Clean Your Beach is 1-4 p.m. March 23, to clean up what’s been left by snowbirds and spring breakers. Meet at the Vilano Beach Public Pavilion near the beach on-ramp. Materials are provided, and a prize is awarded to FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15


the volunteer with the most collected trash and the most collected cigarette butts. No registration is required. NORTHEAST FLORIDA SIERRA CLUB The club celebrates the 50th anniversary of the Wilderness Act 6 p.m. March 3 at Ponte Vedra Library, 101 Library Blvd. Andy Miller and Warren Anderson of the Public Trust Environmental Legal Institute of Florida discuss how wildlands are designated and defined today and how protection is vital. 537-6047. NORTH FLORIDA LAND TRUST, 804 Third St., Neptune Beach, 285-7020, northfloridalandtrust.org The environmental group helps landowners place parcels of land into permanent conservation easements. Goelz Preserve guided kayaking is 11 a.m. March 8, 595-5976. Coastal cleanup is 10 a.m. March 15, Big Talbot and Sawpit Island. The 19th annual St. Johns River Celebration & Cleanup is held March 22. The annual Moonlight on the River, a black tie & blue jeans gala fundraiser, is held 6-9:30 p.m. April 3 at Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave. Tickets are $125; moonlight.bpt.em. A wilderness first aid class is held April 4-6; for details, go wfajax.eventbrite.com. ST. JOHNS RIVERKEEPER, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7691, stjohnsriverkeeper.org The nonprofit organization is a full-time advocate and watchdog for the St. Johns River, its watershed and the public to whom it belongs. SIERRA CLUB NORTHEAST FLORIDA GROUP 247-1876, florida.sierraclub.org A national organization dedicated to exploring, enjoying and protecting Earth, the local group organizes outdoor adventures and lobbies local and state government. TREE HILL NATURE CENTER 7152 Lone Star Rd., Arlington, 724-4646, treehill.org The 50-acre nature preserve, natural history museum, animal exhibits and butterfly house features tours, educational programs, encounters and the popular annual butterfly festival, held April 26.

OUTDOOR EVENTS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com RAM kicks off its fifth season on March 1 with Connor Blackley at 10:30 a.m., Stanton Marching Band 10:40-11 a.m., Navy Band Southeast TGIF 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. and Underhill Rose 1:30-3:30 p.m., as well as local and regional art, and a farmers market, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. every Sat. under the Fuller Warren Bridge; admission is free. TALBOT ISLANDS ACTIVITES A park ranger discusses the Timuquan Indians at 2 p.m. March 1 at Ribault Club, Fort George Island Cultural State Park, 11241 Ft. George Rd., free, 251-2320. A nature hike is lead 2 p.m. March 8. Nature photography is featured 10 a.m. March 15. Archaeology of the area is discussed 2 p.m. March 15. Talbot critters are featured 2 p.m. March 22. Shark teeth are discussed 2 p.m. March 29. The rangers at Big and Little Talbot Islands know all about the islands and will impart outdoorsy knowledge year round. Go to floridastateparks.org/littletalbotisland for details. FORT CLINCH STATE PARK, 2601 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-7274, floridastateparks.org The park hosts a Union Garrison event 9 a.m.-5 p.m. March 1 and 9 a.m.-noon March 2. Re-creators demonstrate fort life of 1864. Soldiers in period costumes perform in firing demonstrations, marching drills, cooking and daily activities. Sutlers display their wares, fife players and drummer boys bring the Civil War era to life. Fees are $6 per vehicle park entrance; $2 per person Fort admission. A Confederate Garrison event is held March 15 and 16, with pretty much the same activities, just with a charming Southern accent instead of that Yankee one. CATTYSHACK 1860 Starrett Rd., Northside, 757-3603, cattyshack.org This wildlife sanctuary offers guided night feeding tours. 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

GUIDED SEGWAY TOURS, 11255 Fort George Rd., Northside, 251-9477, ecomotiontours.com In partnership with the Florida State Park Service, EcoMotion Tours has tours of Little Talbot Island State Park, Ft. Clinch, Ft. George Island Cultural State Park and Kingsley Plantation; $65-$95. YOGA WITH BRENDA STAR WALKER, 699-5172, brendastarwalker@yahoo.com, sukavahbodeh.com For 20 years, Walker has offered free community yoga classes for all ages and abilities at 11 a.m. on the first Sunday every month at Memorial Park, on Riverside Avenue in Jacksonville. Bring a blanket or mat.

CAMPGROUNDS/PARKS/ PRESERVES/ZOOS CLAY COUNTY

BLACK CREEK PARK & TRAIL The 15-acre site is the staging area for the 8-mile bicycle/pedestrian trail that runs along U.S. 17. BAYARD POINT CONSERVATION AREA 386-329-4404, sjrwmd.com Off S.R. 16 on the St. Johns, the resource-based park has 9,615 acres for hiking, fishing and horseback riding. BLACK CREEK RAVINES 5645 Green Rd., Middleburg, 386-329-4404, sjrwmd.com The 973-acre, resource-based park on Black Creek’s south bank has horseback riding, hiking, fishing and canoeing. DOCTORS LAKE PARK White Owl Lane & Lakeshore Drive North, Fleming Island Picnic area with covered pavilion, 320-foot fishing pier. The 1-acre park provides access to Doctors Lake for fishing, small boats and canoes. EAGLE HARBOR SOCCER COMPLEX, 4387 Lakeshore Dr., Fleming Island, 278-1182, claycountygov.com The 28-plus-acre park has 12 soccer fields, a pavilion with a picnic area and a playground. FOXMEADOW RECREATIONAL, 1155 Foxmeadow Trail Off Old Jennings Road. 19-plus-acres, basketball court, all-purpose ball field, tennis courts, horse-riding trails. ROESS GOLD HEAD BRANCH STATE PARK 6239 S.R. 21, Keystone Heights, 352-473-4701 A 2,000-plus-acre park for camping, picnicking, swimming, fishing, hiking and canoeing. CAMP BLANDING WILDLIFE MANAGEMENT AREA Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission, 386-758-0525, floridaconservation.org The 56,197-acre park, across from Gold Head Branch State Park, has hunting, fishing, swimming, picnicking. HUNTER-DOUGLAS PARK 4427 Longmire Rd., Middleburg The 10-acre park has a pavilion with picnic areas, a softball field, basketball court, tennis court, playground. JENNINGS STATE FOREST 1337 Longhorn Rd., 291-5530, floridaconservation.org Jennings has 23,995 acres for swimming, hiking, bicycling, canoeing and horseback riding. Closed to recreational activities during hunting season. MAIN STREET PARK 3788 Main St. Boat Ramp, Middleburg Five-acre park has a boardwalk, fishing piers, pavilions and a playground, on the North Fork of Black Creek. O.P. SKATE PARK 1006 Fromhart St., Orange Park, 625-6260 A free skate park for skaters of all ages and abilities. Helmet and notarized waiver required. Open daily. Skateboards and in-line skates permitted. RONNIE VAN ZANT PARK & PLAYGROUND, C.R. 739B,


Three Simple Rules for

surviving the great outdoors (Rule No. 3: Check the weather)

O

ver the years, recreational camping in the great outdoors has become a true art form. This pastime allows you to get out into the elements, whether you’re roughing it with a simple sleeping bag and knapsack, sleeping under the vast canopy of stars, or resting easy in the confines of a cozy tent with plenty of blankets to make a fort inside your fort to stay warm and toasty. Whichever you choose, we won’t judge. With the help of functional, trained staff at local, state and national parks across the country, camping has become a controlled hobby where you can relax, safe in the knowledge that you won’t get mauled by wild animals or homeless people. Now, for those die-hard, Mother Earth-preaching adrenaline junkies, there are several gems out there waiting to be discovered — usually the places you’re not supposed to bring the kids to. I had the pleasure of exploring one of them during a recent overnight camping extravaganza. It’s a cozy little stretch of beach along the Sisters Creek waterfront, just before the boat ramp, located on Heckscher Drive. This spot is where I experienced primitive camping — and I use “primitive” very loosely. The primitive nature of it is that you constantly have a weighing feeling that maybe you aren’t supposed to be here. You might be the invasive species to the nomadic neighbors camping alongside you. (I’m still trying to figure out if they do, in fact, call Sisters Creek their home.) Reflecting on my 24 hours at the creek, I’ve compiled a quick list of things you should consider perfecting before spending an evening in the great outdoors. 1. Water is not your friend. At least, not when it comes to your camp base. By the time we arrived at Sisters Creek, looking at the beach reminded me of a scene out of an apocalypse film: tents, motor homes, pedovans — you name it, they were there, occupying a vast portion of the mile of property from which we had to choose a space. After 30 minutes of walking and contemplating, we chose a cozy little spot on the opposite end of the action. We thought we’d found the gem and everyone else was reclining in waste! And then high tide happened. Remember, my fellow campers: tide change is not a myth. Check the forecast before you set up a tent mansion only L.L. Bean would dare to sell. Oh yeah, and don’t choose a marsh. Maybe that was obvious.

2. Bring lots of wood. While planning this trip, we were fully aware that firewood was a necessity. So we secured a truck-bed-full of wood pilings. Who knew that wouldn’t be nearly enough? Luckily, we reached the end of our load only hours before we chose to end our adventure. Notice how we chose to end it there, because I enjoy feeling my fingers and toes? 3. There is no such thing as having too many blankets. The day of departure, we knew to check the weather forecast. While we were setting up, it was windy but beautiful, a mild 55 degrees without a cloud in sight. By nightfall, the wind had subsided. It couldn’t have been nicer. But as the night went on and it was time for sleep, Mother Nature reared her ugly head. My light sleeping bag/comforter combo was very nearly the death of me. By 4 a.m., my face was frozen and sleep was not an option. Here’s the kicker: We’d looked at the weather for Saturday but not Sunday, when the temps dipped down into the mid-30s. Well played, Mother Nature, well played.

Though this list is short, these may be the most important things to remember about camping, at least if you’re going to camp in the middle of February. Learn from my mistakes. If you decide to camp in an undisclosed area, go in a group, huddle for warmth and raid your mother’s linen closet for all it’s worth. There’s no better way to enjoy the outdoors than living in it for a weekend — or overnight if you have no idea what you’re doing. Happy trails!  Kim Collier mail@folioweekly.com

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17


The Elusive Bottlenose

The wisecracking captain of the Osprey opted out of the insurance industry to lead scenic tours out of St. Augustine

JAX WATER TOURS Captain Brooks Mitchell hosts morning and sunset tours Thursday through Sunday as well as private charters. Morning tours are $34 per passenger; sunset tours are $39 per passenger. For a limited time, Mitchell is offering a buy-one, get-one-free discount on the morning tours with the online code DOLPHIN. 322-7194, jaxwatertours.com

A

fter 25 years, Brooks Mitchell quit the insurance industry cold turkey to find his true calling. Now, the jovial 6-foot-2-inch captain chases dolphins and tells bad jokes. To wit: “A boat is nothing more than a hole in the water surrounded by wood that you pour money in.” “What does B.O.A.T. stand for? Break Out Another Thousand.” Et cetera. At 52 years old, with a newborn less than a month old, Mitchell isn’t really slowing down. He loves his new career, loves interacting with passengers and loves the Osprey — a 45-foot-long-by-14-footwide pontoon once used as a water taxi in Downtown Jacksonville. On a morning Dolphin Safari Tour last week out of Camachee Cove near Kingfish Grill in St. Augustine, Mitchell talks up passengers about where they’re from — Canada, Utah, Nebraska, a few of us from Folio Weekly. It’s a balmy day on the water, one you’d call unseasonably warm if the term “unseasonably warm” meant anything here. Mitchell swears he spots dolphins on 90 percent of his morning cruises (he also captains sunset cruises and private charters). St. Augustine’s bottlenose dolphins aren’t captive, so when there’s no dolphin in sight on the Osprey, Mitchell often compensates by beefing up the tour from 90 minutes to two hours, with a little more history of the St. Augustine Inlet, the Castillo de San Marcos fort and other major sites. “Major” is a relative term. “You know the Conch House, right? It’s not Sunday, though,” he says, as passengers laugh.

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

As he takes the Osprey through the St. Augustine Inlet early in our voyage, no one has spotted a dolphin and he’s getting nervous. This is, after all, a prime spot for the playful mammals. On the morning cruises, Mitchell takes the Osprey through the inlet, around the lighthouse, in and around Salt Run and throughout Matanzas Bay. After about 30 minutes, the chase is still on: “I think I jinxed us by allowing someone from Park City, Utah, on the boat,” he says. He’s already blamed me for hexing the search, and put more pressure on first mate John Jones to keep his eyes peeled. It’s all in good fun, or maybe another chance to set up a zinger. Then, a passenger spots a dolphin. “Good eyes! You’re hired,” Mitchell yells. “John, you’re fired.” But the chase comes up finless. False alarm. One dolphin does eventually save the captain, who tracks him so all of his 16 passengers get a close-up. “Of course, he’s going out,” Mitchell says as the dolphin swims around the boat and away. “He’s playing games. He heard us talking about him.” Mitchell’s less happy we spotted one dolphin, and more frustrated we spotted only one dolphin. As the Osprey follows our one target, he talks a bit about him. “These folks do not sleep,” he says. “They have two brains — one sleeps and one is awake.” (This is actually true. Researchers say dolphins can stay awake for more than two weeks at a time by sleeping with only half their brains. Weird, right?) “My wife tells me I have the same thing, except both my brains are usually asleep.” Mitchell certainly aims to please. He facetiously promises mimosas to anyone who comes back again, then asks for some marketing assistance: “Don’t tell people you only saw one dolphin. Tell them you saw like 20,” Mitchell says.  David Johnson djohnson@folioweekly.com

Above: Captain Brooks Mitchell Below: The St. Augustine Lighthouse and Museum


The Outdoors Issue 2760 Sandridge Rd., Lake Asbury, 269-6378 The 85-acre park has an equipped playground, softball and soccer fields, tennis courts, a fishing pond with four fishing piers and nature trails.

DUVAL COUNTY Arlington

ARLINGTON LIONS CLUB PARK, 4322 R. Gatlin Rd. The 31-acre park has a boat ramp and dock, fishing, nature trails, boardwalk, playground, grills and restrooms. BLUE CYPRESS PARK, 4012 University Blvd. N. A nine-hole golf course, tennis courts, soccer fields, picnic shelters, docks, swimming, hiking and fishing.

JARBOE PARK Third Street and Florida Boulevard, Neptune Beach Tennis courts, baseball field, volleyball court, jogging trail, playground equipment and picnic areas. KATHRYN ABBEY HANNA PARK 500 Wonderwood Rd., Mayport, 249-4700 The 447-acre oceanfront park has a 1.5-mile beach and woods with walking and biking trails, campsites, 60 acres of freshwater lakes and a children’s water park. PAWS DOG PARK Penman Road South, across from Wingate Park The off-leash park is for dogs and their owners.

ED AUSTIN REGIONAL PARK, 11751 McCormick Rd. 140 acres, basketball courts, baseball, softball and soccer fields, hiking, an 18-hole flying-disc golf course.

TIDEVIEW PRESERVE, One Begonia St., Atlantic Beach Eight acres of passive parkland, with a scenic view of the Intracoastal Waterway, hiking trails and boardwalks, canoe launch, fishing area and restrooms.

LONNIE WURN BOAT RAMP, 4131 Ferber Rd. Boating docks and a launching ramp, fishing areas, picnic shelters, playground equipment and restrooms.

WINGATE PARK, South Penman Road, Jax Beach 16 acres with a softball field, football field, T-ball fields, baseball fields and a picnic area.

Avondale

Downtown

FISHWEIR PARK, Yukon Street off Park Street Playground, a baseball diamond, basketball courts, allpurpose fields and a wetlands preservation project.

CATHERINE HESTER McNAIR PARK, 551 W. 25th St. The 16-acre park has basketball and tennis courts, baseball fields, shuffleboard, picnic tables, playground.

WILLOWBRANCH PARK Park Street by Willowbranch Library Playground equipment, a walking trail, a pine and oak canopy, and an open, all-purpose field.

FLOSSIE BRUNSON EASTSIDE PARK, 1050 Franklin St. Seven-plus acres; lighted baseball fields and basketball courts, tennis courts, picnic shelters, playground, water features, restrooms.

Beaches

BULL MEMORIAL PARK, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach Across from Adele Grage Cultural Center. Tennis court, playground, picnic area, amphitheater and restrooms. D.W. PACK PARK, 4871 Ocean St., Mayport Village The little spot honors the late David Wayne Pack, a Mayport community advocate. It has a lighted basketball court, grills, a picnic pavilion and playground equipment. DUTTON ISLAND PARK & PRESERVE 2001 Dutton Dr., Atlantic Beach Canoe and kayak launches, fishing areas, picnic shelters, playground, nature trails and wildlife observation. HUGUENOT TENNIS FACILITY & PARK 218 16th Ave. S., Jax Beach Three-acre stocked lake with fishing pier and boardwalk, basketball courts, tennis facility and playground. JACK RUSSELL PARK, 800 Seminole Rd., Atlantic Beach Picnic pavilion, baseball and soccer fields, tennis, racquetball, basketball and volleyball courts, playground.

EMMETT REED PARK, 1093 W. Sixth St. Baseball fields, basketball and tennis courts, swimming pools, picnic tables, playground and restrooms. JEFFERSON STREET PARK, 1359 Jefferson St. Basketball courts, baseball fields, grills, playground. PANAMA PARK, 6912 Buffalo Ave. Lighted baseball and softball fields, basketball and tennis courts, playground, picnic area and restrooms. ROBERT F. KENNEDY PARK, 1133 Ionia St. Softball fields, lighted basketball and tennis court, swimming, playground, grills and picnic tables.

Intracoastal West

CASTAWAY ISLAND PRESERVE, 2921 San Pablo Rd. S. Its 235 acres encompass a canoe/kayak launch site, paved trails, an wildlife observation post, grills, tables and security lighting. Which is odd because it closes at dusk.

Mandarin

ALBERTS FIELD, 12073 Brady Rd. Lighted softball and baseball fields, lighted tennis courts,

Fort Clinch State Park, located in Fernandina Beach, has biking trails, hiking, and plenty of water for kayaking.

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19


T-ball fields, picnic shelters, grills and playground. MANDARIN PARK, 14780 Mandarin Rd. Tennis courts, hiking trails, fishing area, boat ramps, shelters, playground, picnic shelters, shuffleboard. WALTER JONES HISTORICAL PARK, 11964 Mandarin Rd. Picnic shelters, hiking trails, wildlife observation, grills and restrooms are featured.

Northside

BARNEY BROWNING PARK, 6014 Norwood Ave. Lighted basketball court, lighted softball diamond, grills, tables and playground equipment. BETHESDA PARK, 10790 Key Haven Blvd., 764-5531 A 20-acre lake stocked for fishing, canoeing, nature trail boardwalk, docks and fully equipped cabins for camping. BIG TALBOT ISLAND STATE PARK, 12157 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George, north of Little Talbot Island Canoe launches and routes, fishing, boat ramps, beach area and hiking trails at the 1,709-acre oceanfront park. BLACK HAMMOCK ISLAND PARK, 15770 Sawpit Rd. The 24.5-acre park has a volleyball court, baseball field, basketball court, grills, playground and two tennis courts. CEMETERY PARK, 4000 Liberty St. N. Between Springfield and Panama Park, this little spot was deeded from Evergreen Cemetery to the city in 1921. It’s a quiet place amid the business bustle of Main Street. CHARLES BOOBIE CLARK PARK, 8793 Sibbald Rd. Basketball and tennis courts, lighted baseball and football fields, swimming pool and playground. CLANZEL T. BROWN PARK, 4575 Moncrief Rd. Softball field, lighted basketball and tennis courts, public pool, playground and restrooms. DINSMORE PLAYGROUND, 10632 Old Kings Rd. Between historic Old Kings Road and Iowa Avenue, this park has 2-plus acres with a lighted basketball court, grills, a soccer area and a lighted tennis hard court. J. GARDNER NIP SAMS MEMORIAL PARK 6602 Richardson Rd. More than 14 acres. Lighted baseball and softball field, a lighted tennis hard court, picnic shelters, a prototype restroom with unisex ADA toilets and a paved pathway. GEORGE CRADY BRIDGE FISHING PIER STATE PARK 12157 Heckscher Dr., 251-2320 The mile-long, pedestrian-only fishing bridge, open 24/7, spans Nassau Sound. Primary access is on the north end through Amelia Island State Park.

STOCKTON ELEMENTARY PARK, 4827 Carlisle Rd. Lighted tennis and basketball courts, a softball field, soccer field, trails, picnic area and playground. MURRAY HILL PLAYGROUND, 4208 Kingsbury St. Lighted baseball fields and basketball courts, playground, water features, trails, picnic tables and restrooms.

San Marco & San Jose

BEAUCLERC ELEMENTARY PARK, 4555 Craven Rd. Lighted baseball, T-ball and youth ball fields, basketball courts, playground and restrooms. HISTORIC KINGS ROAD PARK, 1972 Kings Ave. At the intersection of historic Kings Road (now Kings Avenue) and Atlantic Boulevard, the wedge-shaped park was in the 1918 plat of Fletcher Park, first called Fulton Park, after Robert Fulton, who invented the steamship.

Southside

ADOLPH WURN PARK, 2115 Dean Rd. Basketball court, public pool, playground and restrooms. BEACH & PEACH URBAN PARK, 10013 Anders Blvd. The park has nearly 69 acres of undeveloped land, with a pond for fishing and 1.25 miles of trails. CUBA HUNTER PARK, 3620 Bedford Rd. A skate park, football fields, hiking trails, playground. SOUTHSIDE PARK, 1541 Hendricks Ave. Youth ball, basketball and lighted tennis courts.

Westside

ARGYLE FOREST PARK, 8533 Acanthus Dr. A lighted baseball field, two softball fields and four tennis courts, grills, playground and restrooms. CRYSTAL SPRINGS ROAD PARK, 9800 Crystal Springs Rd. The 37-acre park has baseball fields, tennis and handball courts, soccer fields, playground, exercise area. TILLIE K. FOWLER REGIONAL PARK 7000 Roosevelt Blvd., 573-2498 A 509-acre park has nature and hiking trails, off-road biking, wildlife watchtower, outdoor classroom and nature center, nature resource library, archery range, playground.

Nassau County

AMELIA ISLAND STATE PARK 12157 Heckscher Dr., 251-2320 More than 200 acres of undeveloped sea island with beaches, salt marshes and coastal maritime forests. Fish, hike, sunbathe, birdwatch and horseback ride. CENTRAL PARK, 2500 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach Tennis court, restroom, playground, basketball court and the Buccaneer field baseball/softball complex.

HUGUENOT MEMORIAL PARK 10980 Heckscher Dr., 251-3335 Nearly 295 acres of beachfront for surfing, sailboarding, swimming, fishing, picnicking, volleyball, wildlife observation, playgrounds, tent and RV camping.

EGANS CREEK PARK, Amelia Island, near Atlantic Avenue Recreational Center Playground, hiking and biking trails, baseball diamond.

JOHNNIE W. WALKER PARK, 2500 W. 20th St. Baseball fields, basketball and tennis courts, swimming and water features, and restrooms.

FERNANDINA BEACH SKATE PARK, 25 Tarpon St. Ramps and obstacles for skateboarders, inline skaters and bicyclists. 3-5 p.m. Mon.-Fri. Go to fbfl.us or Atlantic Recreation Center, 2500 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, for the required health waiver.

LITTLE TALBOT ISLAND STATE PARK 12157 Heckscher Dr. The beachfront park has surfing, swimming, canoeing, kayaking, camping, picnicking, hiking and fishing.

Riverside

BOONE PARK, 3700 Park St. Lighted tennis courts – including 14 clay – a walking trail, picnic shelters, playground equipment and grills. CRISWELL PARK, 5372 Park St. Lighted baseball, softball, T-ball and youth ball fields, basketball courts, picnic tables, playground. 20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

FORT CLINCH STATE PARK, North end of Amelia Island, 2601 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-7274 Site of a restored Civil War fort. Beaches, bathhouses, guided nature walks, campsites, mountain bike trails, ocean fishing pier, picnic areas, restrooms. MAIN BEACH PARK, Atlantic and South Fletcher Two sand volleyball courts, cabana, changing rooms, picnic tables, gazebos, playground and skate park. PECK RECREATION CENTER & PARK Elm Street, Fernandina Beach, 277-7350 The 105-year-old former schoolhouse has an outdoor

20 Feet from

Alligators

Zip-lining over wild beasts at Crocodile Crossing

Z

ip-line? Check. Over alligators and crocodiles? Check! For years, I’ve wanted to do the Crocodile Crossing at the St. Augustine Alligator Farm. I finally had my chance. Except we almost missed it. My boyfriend Ross and I showed up late — 45 minutes late, in fact — and we were told to come back a few hours later. Our space had already been given away. But we got lucky: There was another noshow. So we signed waivers, got strapped into our harnesses and were ordered in line with the other participants. From there, we got a quick overview of the rules, a short practice run and, ready or not, there we went. There are two self-guided courses at the Farm & Zoological Park’s Crocodile Crossing, with two prices: the Sepik River Course, $35, and the Nile River Course, $65. While the main attraction here is the ziplining, that’s only part of what you do. The rest is a sort of aboveground obstacle course of swinging planks and nets and tightropes, with zip-lines (over swarms of alligators and crocodiles!) in between. We picked the Sepik course; it has three zip-lines and takes about 45 minutes to complete. The Nile course has nine zip-lines and takes about two hours. And so we embarked. We climbed a ladder to the start of the course, and discovered before us a magnificent vista: gators and crocs, yes, but also a wide assortment of birds, including toucans and African storks. (Sadly, you can’t bring cameras or any electronic devices with you. They don’t want anything to fall out of your pocket and harm the reptiles below.) The first obstacle we came to was wood planks, which we had to traverse. Easy enough. Next up: swinging planks. I started to walk on the swinging wood planks; my legs went everywhere, and Ross had a good laugh at my expense. Then came the tightrope, which looked

positively horrifying: There’s just a single wire securing you in place, and it was a healthy clip, maybe 50 feet, between points A and B. My heart pounding, I slowly made my way to the other side. After that, the first zip-line, which would take us to the animals. Ross went first, and of course made it look easy. My turn. I attached my zip-line hook to the line, making sure I carefully followed the instructions. My feet were on the edge, and all I had to do was let go. I finally gathered my courage and did. I arrived at the platform on the other side much more quickly than I expected. I put out my hand to stop myself. I got stuck. Dammit. I had to spin myself around and use my upper-body strength to pull myself to the platform. (Let’s just say it’s been a while since I’ve picked up any weights.) Below me, the alligators — as well as birds, people enjoying themselves in the park and our safety operator. And it was then that I started to feel more excited than petrified. We hit our second zip-line, this time about 20 or 30 feet over a huge crocodile. He didn’t seem to mind people interrupting his sunbathing, though I imagine he wished one of us would fall. We soldiered on, passing through more obstacles and admiring the many beasts below. At one point, on our final zip-line, Ross, who was ahead of me, called out, “Holy shit! I feel like I’m Indiana Jones.” I looked down: There were dozens of baby gators below, moving around like snakes, all trying to climb the same tree — like the fictional archeologist’s worst nightmare. “Please don’t fall,” I breathed to myself. We both laughed uncontrollably, and a little nervously, at each other. I was, by the end, very proud of ourselves — conquering fears and anxieties and learning new skills. And I’ll be back, next time for the Nile River Course. I’m already hitting the weights.  Katie Lubet mail@folioweekly.com


The Outdoors Issue field, volleyball and basketball courts. PETER’S POINT, Off South Fletcher Avenue A county beach park with covered picnic areas, fishing, restrooms and outdoor showers. YULEE SPORTS COMPLEX 686 Goodbread Dr., Callahan, 225-9611 Playground, baseball, softball and football fields, tennis courts, picnic shelter, restrooms and a gymnasium.

St. Johns County

ALPINE GROVES, 2060 S.R. 13, St. Johns Canopy oaks, wildlife and birds are in the 54.5-acre park, home to a historic farmhouse. Hiking trails, a river boardwalk, fishing and visitors’ center are onsite. ANASTASIA STATE PARK, St. Augustine Beach, 1340 A1A S., 461-2033, floridastateparks.org/anastasia A bird sanctuary and natural preserve with coastal camping, swimming, surfing, hiking, biking, sailboarding, canoeing, fishing and boating. FAVER-DYKES STATE PARK 100 Faver-Dykes Rd., 794-0997 Aquatic preserve has a state canoe trail. More than 1,000 acres along Pellicer Creek for camping, fishing, birding, hiking and nature walks; daily 8 a.m.-sunset. FORT MOSE HISTORIC STATE PARK 15 Ft. Mose Trail, off U.S. 1, St. Augustine, 823-2232 Birdwatching, a picnic pavilion, a boardwalk and history tours; daily 8 a.m.-sunset. GUANA TOLOMATO MATANZAS NATIONAL ESTUARINE RESEARCH RESERVE, 505 Guana River Rd., South Ponte Vedra, 823-4500, gtmnerr.org Off A1A. 73,352 acres of freshwater and saltwater fishing, boating, swimming, surfing, birding, hiking and mountain biking. Guided walks, family seine netting. TREATY PARK 1595 Wildwood Dr., St. Augustine, 829-8807 Trails, tennis and racquetball courts, volleyball court, skate park, dog park, lighted baseball and softball fields. FT. CAROLINE NATIONAL MEMORIAL 12713 Ft. Caroline Rd., Arlington, 641-7155, nps.gov/foca Site of America’s first Protestant colony. Exhibits, artifacts and a replica of the original fort. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily. FT. CLINCH STATE PARK, 2601 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, 277-7274, floridastateparks.org Restored Civil War fort, rangers in period dress and a visitors’ center. JACKSONVILLE ARBORETUM & GARDENS 1445 Millcoe Rd., Arlington, jacksonvillearboretum.org Off Monument Road. 120 acres of plant life, educational programs and natural history lessons. 8 a.m.-7 p.m. daily. JACKSONVILLE ZOO & GARDENS 370 Zoo Parkway, 757-4463, jacksonvillezoo.org More than 2,000 rare and exotic animals, a botanical garden, a kids’ Play Park with a carousel, giraffe overlook, a splash park (open May-October) and Stingray Bay. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily; 6 p.m. summer weekends. ST. AUGUSTINE ALLIGATOR FARM & ZOOLOGICAL PARK 999 Anastasia Blvd., 824-3337, alligatorfarm.com The historic wooded zoo has komodo dragons, birds, crocodiles – like 15-foot-3-inch, 1,250-pound Maximo – plus alligator pits. Crocodile Crossing is an aerial challenge course, with ropes and ziplines over animal exhibits. Kids’ zone, a fossil exhibit and daily gator feedings. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily, till 6 p.m. in the summer. TIMUCUAN NATIONAL PRESERVE 12713 Ft. Caroline Rd., Arlington, 641-7155, nps.gov/timu The 46,000-acre ecological and historic preserve includes

Fort Caroline, Cedar Point and Kingsley Plantation. Nature trails, a boat dock, picnic areas, local history exhibits.

FISHING GEAR/CHARTERS/ SPOTS/TOURNEYS

FIRST COAST OFFSHORE CHALLENGE April 2-5, St. Augustine, 396-6382, fcoc2014.com Three sailboat races over 100 miles are open to all seaworthy cruising sailboats at least 24 feet. Ceremonies and awards follow each day’s race. Final ceremony is at St. Augustine Yacht Club, 442 Ocean Vista Ave. GREATER JACKSONVILLE KINGFISH TOURNAMENT 251-3011, kingfishtournament.com The annual tournament is the largest one in the U.S., at Jim King Park & Boat Ramp along Sisters Creek, 8203 Heckscher Dr., Jacksonville. Junior angler tournament, junior dock tournament, Redneck VIP tournament, Liars’ Tent, boat shows, food, live music, fireworks and awards. Proceeds benefit Jacksonville Marine Charities’ programs. SALTWATER FLYTERS, 1701 Lakeside Ave., Ste. 6, St. Augustine, 535-6929, saltwaterflyters.com Full service outfitter for flyfishing gear and advice – every other Wednesday, gather to share flytying patterns and flies. Free casting lessons available. Retail store carries Abel, Nautilus, Hardy, Patagonia and Scientific Anglers.

WATER SPORTS

ATLANTIC PRO DIVERS 314 14th Ave. N., Jax Beach, 270-1747, divejax.com The local dive shop, offers scuba instruction, all the gear you need, and a boat to get out where the diving is best. ED GAW OPEN WATER CHALLENGE A 5K or 1-mile swim held May 24 at Main Beach, 2801 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach, $40 entry fee, active.com. CRYSTAL COVE RESORT, 133 Crystal Cove Dr., Palatka, 386-325-1055, cc-resort.com Located on the St. Johns River, Crystal Cove offers guest rooms, outdoor dining and venue space, pontoon rentals and direct water access. ECO-SHRIMPING TOURS Amelia River Cruises offers these unique tours 10 a.m. every Mon.-Sat. in the summer. Drag an authentic Otter Trawl shrimp net, see the live catch and learn from marine biologists about local wildlife and eco-systems. Book a two-hour tour at ameliarivercruises.com or call 261-9972. Tours of Cumberland Island and Family Sunset Cruises through November.

BOATING PADDLE/SAIL/MOTOR

ALL WET SPORTS, 8550 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-9887, allwetsports.net The retail store has paddleboard sales and lessons, kayak sales and rentals, plus wakeboards, skis, kneeboards and wakesurfers sales. Windurfing and kiteboarding gear, too. AMELIA RIVER CRUISES & CHARTERS 1 N. Front St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9972, ameliarivercruises.com Informative narrated sightseeing cruises from the historic waterfront; see wild horses along saltmarshes, plus wilderness beaches and historic riverbanks. BEACH MARINE, 2315 Beach Blvd., Ste. 301, Jax Beach, 249-8200, jaxbeachmarine.com The full-service marina, in business for 50-plus years, has wet slips, dry boat and trailer storage, fuel, new and used boats and a marine service department. Familyowned-and-operated, with docks right on the Intracoastal Waterway; some folks live on their boats year-round. FLYING FISH JET, 1 S. Front St., Fernandina Beach, 583-3420, flyingfishfun.com FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21


The Outdoors Issue Flying Fish Adventures hosts one-hour guided tours on jet skis, 10 a.m. May 24 and every other Sat. through Aug. 30; $120 per ski, $15 extra for passengers. FIRST COAST OUTFITTERS KAYAK TOURS St. Johns Marina, 901 Gulf Life Dr., Southbank, 595-5976, firstcoastoutfitters.com Three-hour guided tours, days vary. Tickets are $55 for adults, $35 for kids younger than 12; group rates available. Paddle past Jacksonville Landing, EverBank Field and Friendship Fountain. The tour stops at Exchange Park for a snack and nature lesson. Look for dolphins and manatees along the way. KAYAK LAUNCHES Cumberland Island, from St. Marys Inlet Fort George Inlet, behind Alimacani fish camp or Huguenot Park, Simpson’s Creek, Ft. George Inlet, to Nassau Sound, Huguenot Park, almost anywhere along the beachfront Julington or Durbin creeks, from Mandarin Park, Doctors Inlet/Lake, from Whitey’s, paddling Fish Eating Creek north or from a marina along U.S. 17, Black Creek, from Jennings Forest or Baldwin city dock, GTMNE Research Reserve, from boat ramp or the dam, Pellicer Creek near Marineland, from Faver-Dykes Park BLACK CREEK OUTFITTERS 10051 Skinner Lake Dr., Southside, 645-7003, blackcreekoutfitters.com Stand-up paddleboard mini-lessons, SUP yoga, kayak trips, kayak fishing trips and SUP demos on the ocean. Call for times, dates, fees. Classes mostly for beginners; must be able to swim. SUP instructor sessions available. First-timers SUP group meets every Sunday. Osprey Pint Night, to benefit the Florida Trail Association, is held 6-9 p.m. March 26; Chris Gallaway is the featured speaker. SUP Yoga Guinness Book record attempt is held May 26. FIRST COAST SUP, 201 S. Matanzas Blvd., St. Augustine, 347-6872, firstcoastsup.com Professional instruction and guided tours for all skill levels on stand-up paddleboards, including SUP yoga, in and around the waters of St. Augustine. KAYAK AMELIA, 13030 Heckscher Dr., Jacksonville, 251-0016, kayakamelia.com Guided kayak ecotours, firefly paddles, full moon paddles, bike tours and yoga kayak, with expert instruction and supervision. Stand-up paddleboard lessons, kayak/bike/ SUP rentals and SUP yoga. No experience needed, all tours start with short paddle instruction on land. RIPPLE EFFECT ECOTOURS St. Augustine, 347-1565, rippleeffectecotours.com Full moon kayak Marineland tour and comprehensive

ecological and cultural kayak tours are offered. Reservations required.

SURFING/WINDSURFING CLASSES/RENTAL/CONTESTS

MATT RASTA GRAY MEMORIAL, floridasurfing.org The seventh annual contest is held April 11 and 12 on the beach at 19th Street, Atlantic Beach. WAVEMASTERS, 8 a.m. May 3-4, south side of Jax Beach Pier, Fifth Street North, wavemasters.org The 31st annual WaveMasters Pro/Am attracts 300-plus of Florida’s top pro and amateur surfers, as well as many semi-retired local competitors, all vying for top honors. The entry fee is $30 per division. SUPER GROM, Jax Beach Pier’s north side, Fifth Street North, Jax Beach, floridasurfing.org No. 1 is held 8 a.m. June 7; No. 2 on July 12 and No. 3 on Aug. 9. SISTERS OF THE SEA SURF CLASSIC 8 a.m. Sept. 6, south side of Jax Beach Pier, entry fee $30 per division, sistersofthesea.org The 16th annual contest is for women only (with the exception of the tandem division) and is open to the first 125 women to enter. Proceeds benefit Bosom Buddies at The Women’s Center of Jacksonville.

EQUIPMENT/OUTFITTERS

REI, 4862 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Center, 996-1613, rei.com The retail store has gear for hiking, climbing, cycling, camping, paddle sports, snow sports, fitness and running. Beginning to advanced level classes and outings for kayaking, rock climbing, backpacking and wilderness medicine. Clothing, accessories and shoes, too. SURF STATION, 1020 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 471-9463, surf-station.com The retail surf shop offers board rentals, lessons, clothing and accessories and kids’ surf camps, as well as more than 1,000 new boards and 300-plus used boards.

PUBLIC GOLF COURSES/GEAR/ LESSONS/TOURS

JAX BEACH GOLF COURSE, 605 Penman Rd. S., Jax Beach, 247-6184, jaxbchgolf.com Municipally owned and operated, this local course is 12 blocks from the ocean. It has an 18-hole layout. There are

Aaron Davis and Amanda Godwin offer lots of outdoor gear at Black Creek Outfitters near the St. Johns Town Center, the only store around with a backyard lake where shoppers can test gear.

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014


several groups that play weekly; the Golden Putters play about three times a week. TIM TEBOW FOUNDATION CELEBRITY GOLF CLASSIC 9 a.m. March 15, TPC Sawgrass, 110 Championship Way, Ponte Vedra, timtebowfoundation.org The fourth annual classic features Tim and his buddies raising funds for his foundation. WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME World Golf Village, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-4123, wgv.com Six hundred years of golf history in interactive displays, memorabilia and artifacts. The village also houses a fullscreen IMAX Theater. THE PLAYERS CHAMPIONSHIP Sawgrass Country Club, 10034 Golf Club Dr., Ponte Vedra, 273-3700, sawgrasscountryclub.com Top golfers vie for the title at the annual PGA Tour’s golf tournament at Sawgrass, held May 5-11. PGA WEB.COM TOUR The fifth tournament is played at TPC Sawgrass Sept. 1821 on Dye’s Valley Course, PGA Tour Headquarters, Ponte Vedra Beach. The championship, with a $1 million purse, is the pathway to the PGA Tour.

EXTREME/ULTIMATE SPORTS, SKATE PARKS/GEAR

ADVENTURE LANDING, 1944 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 246-4386, adventurelanding.com 4825 Blanding Blvd., Westside, 771-2803 2780 S.R. 16, St. Augustine, 827-9400 The parks, for both kids and adults, have go-karts, arcades, miniature golf and batting cages. The Beaches and Westside locations have a full waterpark and game rooms. BMX RACING, 1946 Ray Greene Dr., Jacksonville, 386-1750, jacksonvillebmx.com All ages can ride; classes start for kids ages 5 and younger. Practices held every Tue.; races held every Fri. KONA, 8739 Kona Ave., Arlington, 725-8770, konaskatepark.com This is the mac daddy of skate parks, founded in 1977 – that’s a lot of ollies. The longest-surviving private skatepark in the world has, to quote someone on Yelp, “mellow bowls, mini-ramp with a spine, street section, pool, monster vert ramp, a kidney pool and my fav, the two snake runs.” Just 10 bucks to get in; open 1-9 p.m. Mon.-Thur., 1-10 p.m. Fri., 10 a.m.-10 p.m. Sat. and noon-8 p.m. Sun. And on school holidays it’s 10 a.m.-9 p.m. The annual Bowlriders Cup is held every March. Helmets are required. Tony Hawk, Mat Hoffman and Dalton Dern are among celeb skaters who’ve ripped here. OCEANSIDE ROTARY SKATE PARK, 800 Seminole Rd., Jack Russell Park, Atlantic Beach, coab.us The free park has a 12-foot vert half-bowl cutting down to a 6-foot wall on one side with a 6-3-foot on the other and a hump joining them. It has an additional 12-foot wall with a hubba hole and a snake run. Helmets are required. The Skate Park hosts a late night skate under lights in winter and an annual skateboard competition in May. THE SB SKATE CO., 1728 Third St. N., Jax Beach, 241-4433, sbskateco.com These locals know what local skaters need: great skate gear. This South Jax Beach store has been in biz for a long time, and has evolved with the sport. SKATE SHOP ST. NICHOLAS 3120 Beach Blvd., St. Nicholas, 398-0870 The new shop carries “everything skateboard,” according to its Facebook page. Elephant, Thrasher and Welcome brands are featured.  FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23


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Reasons to leave the house this week

GOOD DEEDS Y LOVE YOUR BODY?

Haven’t been showing your body the love and care it deserves? The James Weldon Johnson Family YMCA, in partnership with Baptist Health, Florida Blue and Tiger Academy, hosts the Y Love Your Body? health fair to wrap up its annual Celebrate Life 5K Walk/Run. The fair features free vision screenings, healthful-cooking classes, blood pressure screenings and help with health insurance enrollment. This event is part of an initiative to overcome the health disparities common in minority neighborhoods. To participate in or volunteer at the event, visit Tiger Academy, 6079 Bagley Road, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. March 1.

SPEAKER’S FORUM LAURA LING

In 2009, North Korean authorities captured, tried and convicted American journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee, who’d strayed past an unmarked Chinese-North Korean border. Sentenced to 12 years in a labor camp, their freedom was secured after 140 days, when former President Bill Clinton met North Korea’s Kim Jong-il. Ling, now a host and reporter on E! Investigates, talks about that experience as part of the Jacksonville Women’s Network’s annual Speaker’s Forum. Ling will sign copies of her book, Somewhere Inside, after her talk. 5:30 p.m. Feb. 27 at University of North Florida’s University Center, Southside, $55 (includes program, dinner and a drink).

THEATER BEN & MATT

It’s 1995. Matt and Ben huddle before a computer screen, pecking away at what they believe is a one-way ticket out of Matt’s crummy apartment and into show business. Then, the script for Good Will Hunting falls from the speckled ceiling into their laps. The 5 & Dime’s production of Matt and Ben, the off-Broadway play written by Mindy Kaling and Brenda Withers, stars Kat McLeod as a mildly aware Matt Damon and Abigail Sarenz as a self-assured, daft-to-the-point-of-charming Ben Affleck. Much of the hilarity lies in the message of just how much useless trivia we pick up in a culture of infotainment. Relationship failures (Ben’s flings with Gwyneth Paltrow and JLo) and box-office bombs (again, mostly Ben’s – see Gigli ) provide ample material. Feb. 28, March 1 and 7-8 at The Pangea Live, 956 N Liberty St Downtown, $10-$15.

THEATER THE SUBJECT WAS ROSES

This play first opened on Broadway with unknown actors and a director, producer, set designer and manager who were all rookies. That didn’t stop it from winning a Pulitzer and a Tony. Frank Gilroy’s 1964 drama is the story of a man who returns from World War II and still has to deal with his parents’ marital problems. Dated though it may seem, the realities of a small family’s troubles are timeless. Feb. 27-28, March 1-2 and 6-8, Theatre Jacksonville, San Marco, $25.

MARCHING TOWARD THE LIGHT ST. AUGUSTINE ORCHESTRA

“On a hot night in June, they marched. Marching toward the light, marching toward the freedom, they were promised long ago.” Last year, the St. Augustine Orchestra commissioned composer Bob Moore to write an original symphony piece to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Civil Rights Act. Inspired by the poem his wife, Annette Talbert, wrote, he set to it and Someday was born. Moore captures the spirit of the dreamers and doers whose resolve shaped the Civil Rights movement. 8 p.m. Feb. 28 and March 1 at Lightner Museum; benefit performance 6:30 p.m. March 1, 25 Granada St., St. Augustine; 3 p.m. March 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, Ponte Vedra Beach, $20-$50.

WOUNDED WARRIOR PROJECT SOLDIER RIDE

Remember that scene when Forrest Gump runs out of his braces to escape bullies? This event embodies that moment. Participants are figuratively running out of physical or emotional confinements to overcome adversities. The annual three-day rehabilitative cycling event brings alumni from the Wounded Warrior Project together. “Sometimes we feel really isolated, and it’s nice to know people who have been there,” says alum Angela Jenkins. Participants must cycle either a 25- or 50-mile leg starting at TPC Sawgrass. If you’re not an injured war veteran, cheer on those who are. Feb. 27-March 2, TPC Sawgrass, Ponte Vedra Beach. 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

HEROES IN A HALF-SHELL PIZZA OFF

The Michelangelo of 1990 – a mutated, humanoid, pizza-loving superhero turtle who said things like “tubular” and “bodacious” and “cowabunga” – would call Sun-Ray Cinema’s Pizza Off totally gnarly. The turtles of today, had they grown up as those who proudly showed off their lunchboxes back in the day have, would say hanging out and eating pizza while watching them on the big screen eating pizza is seriously meta. While screening Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the theater throws down the gauntlet in the inaugural Pizza Off: Sun-Ray vs. Five-Star Pizza (one of which has a significant home-field advantage). Try two slices from each place – one cheese and one signature – and rate them at the end of the movie. The winner receives a handmade KRANG belt buckle. Bitchin’. 7:15 p.m. March 1, Sun-Ray Cinema, 5 Points, $20.


FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25


26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014


A&E // MOVIES

MAGIC LANTERNS

Aliens Among Us

D

uring one of the duller moments of the Olympics (either a commercial or possibly the curling finals), I began daydreaming about an awards ceremony of my own — honoring three 1951 Hollywood films that were the very first to feature an extraterrestrial on Earth. All three are worth replaying, even though two have already inspired Hollywood remakes, for better or worse. Earning the Bronze Medal is Edgar G. Ulmer’s The Man from Planet X, which debuted on April 27, making it the earliest to hit the big screen. Filmed in six days with a budget of about $41,000, Planet X transcends its ludicrous plotting and secondtier acting solely due to its director’s skill and artistry. Schooled in the techniques of German Expressionism like other European expatriates fleeing the growing Nazi menace, Ulmer was a superb stylist who spent nearly his whole career stuck in the bargain basement. After scoring big in 1934 with The Black Cat, starring Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff, Ulmer was effectively blackballed by the major studios after an affair with a big shot’s wife. Though the personal relationship evolved into a lifelong happy marriage for the couple, Ulmer spent the rest of his long career (he died in 1972) making do with poverty row budgets. Using sets left over from Ingrid Bergman’s Joan of Arc (1948), Ulmer created a creepy evocation of the Scottish moors, where a gnome-like alien from the mysterious Planet X parked his space vehicle, harboring muddled but ultimately less than honorable intentions. It sounds silly, and it is silly, but it looks great — a terrific example of form and style substituting for content. The Silver Medal goes to The Thing from Another World, which opened a week after Planet X. Based on John W. Campbell’s classic 1938 short story, the film substantially changes the alien’s physiology without ameliorating its danger. Discovered in a block of ice in the Arctic, the Thing gets thawed out and proceeds to decimate a plucky band of intrepid humans before meeting its fiery demise. Christian Nyby got on-screen credit as director, but the jury is still out on how much of the film was actually the work of its producer, Howard Hawks. Regardless, The Thing works on every level. Imaginative, intelligent and scary, the film is more horror than science fiction, but a genuine classic whatever the genre. In 2001, it was selected for inclusion in the National Film Registry. Our Gold Medal winner beat The Thing into the Registry by six years, even though it was the last of the three contenders to open in 1951. Directed by Robert Wise (who would go on to make West Side Story and The Sound of Music), The Day the Earth Stood Still reflects the paranoid fear of the bomb in the early ’50s. A friendly alien (Michael Rennie) and his robot sidekick put the planet on notice that our nuclear shenanigans have been noted and will no longer be tolerated. Production values, script and acting are all top-notch, and The Day easily outclasses its mediocre 2008 remake, proof that special effects alone do not a great film make. So there’s our rostrum of extraterrestrial invaders for 1951 — the first of their kind and still winners today.  Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

Preaching to the Choir

‘Son of God’ will move the devout, bore the hell out of everyone else SON OF GOD **@@

PG-13 Opens Feb. 28

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o one tale has dominated cinema more than the story of Jesus. Starting in 1912 with From the Manger to the Cross, to the epics of the 1950s, to Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ, the subject has been covered ad nauseam. When yet another Biblical adaptation comes along, the question to ask is not so much how it was made, but why — and if it was necessary. Because the “why” in this instance seems to be to inspire Christians and spread the teachings of Jesus instead of break new aesthetic, spiritual or historical ground, the answer to that final question is probably no. However, more so than from most movies, what you take away from Son of God will depend upon what you bring into it. Devout Christians may find it powerful, casual church-goers may find it moving but slightly heavy-handed, and some non-Christians, especially agnostics and atheists, will find it just plain preachy, despite the claims of producers Mark Burnett and Roma Downey, whom I interviewed, that it can succeed secularly. Still, because I’m no biblical or historical scholar, an opinion on only the quality of the film seems appropriate. Directed by Christopher Spencer and featuring Downey as Mother Mary, this is a big-screen reworking of the History Channel miniseries The Bible, and it feels too much like a TV movie. Indeed, Downey told me that about three-quarters of the film consists of scenes from the miniseries, re-edited for the theatrical release. Although paced well, transitions between some of those scenes are a bit clunky, resulting in lost momentum, which speaks to the difficulty of cutting 10 hours to 135 minutes while still including the most important parts of the story, such as

Jesus’ birth, his meetings with his disciples, his miracles and his crucifixion. Performances range from solid to stale. Sebastian Knapp, as John, who often functions as narrator and whose own story bookends the film, is a standout, as is Adrian Schiller as High Priest Caiaphas. (The latter character’s struggles with his fellow Jews and Pontius Pilate over Jesus’ fate are the movie’s most

When yet another Biblical adaptation comes along, the question to ask is why. intriguing moments.) Diogo Morgado plays Jesus, and though the Portuguese actor looks and feels right, his British accent and line readings are slightly sloppy. His scenes of suffering are predictably difficult to watch, yet pale in comparison with the torture from Gibson’s adaptation which, though overrated, was a cinematic step above this latest offering. Son of God also avoids controversy similar to Martin Scorsese’s Last Temptation of Christ by playing the story straight and not including the miniseries’ scenes of Satan, after critics complained that the actor bore a resemblance to President Obama. In the movie, Pilate predicts that, following his death, Jesus will be forgotten in a week. Though those words proved preposterously untrue, they somehow seem fitting for this film. While it’s not without merit, after the overly emotional swells of Hans Zimmer’s score have died away and a resurrected Jesus says his final goodbye to his disciples, Son of God quickly fades from memory.  Cameron Meier mail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27


A&E // MOVIES syndrome episode years ago. Co-stars Alia Bhatt, Randeep Hooda and Durgesh Kumar. In Hindi, Nepali and English. THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG ***@ Rated PG-13 Co-writer and director Peter Jackson has stretched J.R.R. Tolkien’s books into lucrative movies and made stars of the cast members, including Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Luke Evans and Ian McKellen. Then there’s the titular Smaug (voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch), a villainous fire-breathing dragon who lays claim to Bilbo’s homeland. THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE ***G Rated PG-13 In Part 2 of the trilogy, Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) is a celebrity warrior hero manipulated by the Capitol’s leader Snow (Donald Sutherland). There’s revolution in the air due to her win at the Games. Co-stars Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Stanley Tucci, Willow Shields (Will and Jada’s daughter) and Jack Quaid (Dennis and Meg’s son). I, FRANKENSTEIN Rated PG-13 The doctor’s creation is in the middle of a violent struggle between two immortal clans. So … not a fight to death, then. Co-stars Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy and Miranda Otto. IN SECRET Rated R Elizabeth Olsen plays Thérèse, bound in marriage by her bitchy aunt, Madame Raquin (Jessica Lange), to infirm Camille (Tom Felton) in the mid-1800s in the slums of Paris. So she’s ripe for an affair and finds just the right guy, Laurent (Oscar Isaac). Hilarity does not ensue. REMEMBERING THE MASTER: Sun-Ray Cinema pays tribute to the late Philip Seymour Hoffman – considered at one time the greatest character actor in Hollywood – with Synecdoche, New York screened 7 p.m. and The Master (pictured) screened 9:30 p.m. Feb. 27 at the theater in Five Points. Single-screening tickets are $9; $12 for both. Proceeds benefit LAByrinth Theater Company.

**** ***@ **@@ *@@@

FILM RATINGS GROUNDHOG DAY ANALYZE THIS BEDAZZLED YEAR ONE

OTHER FILMS

THE HUNT Lucas (Mads Mikkelsen), a divorced father to a teenage son, works in a daycare. When a young child falsely accuses him of inappropriate behavior, all hell breaks loose. In Danish, English and Polish. Screened Feb. 26-27 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., Five Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Call for times and admission prices. HOFFMAN TRIBUTE The film-screening tribute to the late Philip Seymour Hoffman features Synecdoche, New York screened 7 p.m. and The Master screened 9:30 p.m. Feb. 27 at Sun-Ray Cinema, sunraycinema.com. Single-screening tickets are $9; $12 for both. Proceeds benefit LAByrinth Theater Company. DIVIDED WE FALL The documentary, about a college student who travels across America to determine who counts as “one of us” in a world perceived as divided into an “us” versus “them” society, is screened 8 p.m. Feb. 27 at University of North Florida’s Student Union Auditorium, 1 UNF Drive, Southside, 620-5715, unf.edu/interfaith-center. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES PIZZA-OFF The beloved film, screened 7:15 p.m. March 1 at Sun-Ray Cinema, inspires a best pizza contest between Sun-Ray and 5 Star Pizza: 75 patrons choose during the movie. Tickets for the movie plus four slices of pizza are $20 plus tax. Film only, $9 for adults, $7 for seniors/students and $5.50 for kids, sunraycinema.com. LATITUDE 30 MOVIES The Hunger Games: Catching Fire and Walking with Dinosaurs are screened at Latitude 30’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555, facebook. com/latitude30. WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME IMAX THEATER We the People, Great White Shark 3D, Tornado Alley 3D and To The Arctic 3D run at World Golf Hall of Fame Village IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-IMAX, worldgolfimax.com. FREEDOM RIDERS The last installment in the National Endowment for the Humanities’ African-American series, the film screens at 7 p.m. March 4 at Flagler College’s Gamache-Koger Theater,

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

Ringhaver Student Center, 50 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, free, 819-6282, flagler.edu.

NOW SHOWING

12 YEARS A SLAVE **** Rated R Chiwetel Ejiofor is great in the powerful fi lm based on real events. He plays Solomon, a free black man in pre-Civil War New York who’s abducted, then sold into slavery for 12 cruel years. He meets a Canadian abolitionist and hopes his misery is over. Co-stars Brad Pitt, Michael Fassbender and Quvenzhané Wallis. 3 DAYS TO KILL Rated PG-13 • Opens Feb. 21 Kevin Costner, who’s suddenly everywhere we look these days, plays a terminally ill Secret Service agent who’s got one last chance to live if he takes a new drug … and goes on a final top-secret mission. Hmmm – life-saving drug vs killing another human being? Toss me that Glock. ABOUT LAST NIGHT Rated R One-night stands may be fun, but this bunch of beautiful young devil-may-care people takes the practice to the next level. Co-stars the quite amusing Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy, Regina Hall and Joy Bryant. AMERICAN HUSTLE **G@ Rated R Writer-director David O. Russell has fashioned a cinematic junk heap that’s likeable and engaging despite an overly long running time and sloppy screenplay. For professional scam artist Irving Rosenfeld (Christian Bale), working with the Feds is tougher than running cons. He’s helping the FBI (Bradley Cooper) nab public officials on the take in the infamous Abscam operation. Co-stars Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence. AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY ***@ Rated R The cast of director John Wells’ adaptation of Tracy Letts’ Pulitzer-winning story has Meryl Streep as Violet, crusty matriarch of a family falling apart; Julia Roberts is her daughter Barbara. Margo Martindale as Violet’s sister and Chris Cooper as her brother-in-law stand out. THE BROKEN CIRCLE BREAKDOWN Not Rated • Opens Feb. 28 at Sun-Ray Cinema One of five nominees for a Best Foreign Language Film Oscar, the Belgian film features a love-at-first-sight romance. Elise (Veerle Baetens), who owns a tattoo shop, and Didier (Johan

Heldenbergh), a bluegrass banjo player, bond over a shared passion for culture of all things American. Their love is put to the test when their daughter becomes ill. CAPTAIN PHILLIPS ***G Rated PG-13 This real-life drama is based on the book A Captain’s Duty: Somali Pirates, Navy SEALS and Dangerous Days at Sea by Captain Richard Phillips and Stephan Talty. Tom Hanks plays Phillips, a sea captain whose cargo ship is boarded by Somali pirates – Muse (Barkhad Abdi), Bilal (Barkhad Abdirahman), Najee (Faysal Ahmed) and Elmi (Mahat M. Ali) – in April 2009.

INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS ***G Rated R • The Coen Brothers score another quirky hit with this wry tale of Llewyn Davis (Oscar Isaac), a folksinger trying to make it in the ’60s folkie scene, which couldn't decide if it was protest, pop or pap, what with Dylan getting play from WABC's Cousin Brucie and the rest of Greenwich Village scrambling to plug in. Co-stars Justin Timberlake, Carey Mulligan and John Goodman. JACK RYAN: SHADOW RECRUIT Rated PG-13 Chris Pine stars as the young Ryan, just starting out on his CIA career. Co-stars Kevin Costner, Keira Knightley and Kenneth Branagh.

ENDLESS LOVE Rated PG-13 Young, mismatched, lovestruck kids try to stay together when their mean old parents try to split them apart. Costars Gabriella Wilde, Alex Pettyfer and Bruce Greenwood.

THE LEGO MOVIE ***@ Rated PG Writers and directors Chris Miller and Phillip Lord’s entertaining, subversive animated feature about colorful toy bricks co-stars the vocal talents of Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Will Arnett, Chris Pratt and Will Ferrell.

FROZEN ***G Rated PG Disney’s animated feature about sisters Princess Anna (Kristen Bell) and Queen Elsa (Idina Menzel), in this Golden Globe-winner. And hey, parents, check out details for the sing-along at some theaters.

LONE SURVIVOR Rated R Mark Wahlberg stars in this action/bio/drama based on actual events of a failed SEAL team mission in 2005. Costars Emile Hirsch and Taylor “Friday Night Lights” Kitsch, an actor we’ve always thought deserved another shot after his failed mission as John Carter.

GUNDAY Not Rated The Indian action/thriller is about the chaotic Calcutta of the ’70s. In Hindi and Bengali. Co-stars Ranveer Singh, Arjun Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra and Irrfan Khan.

THE MONUMENTS MEN Rated PG-13 George Clooney directs and stars in this fact-based film about a group of un-soldier types – think the opposite of The Dirty Dozen – museum curators, historians and art experts who go into enemy territory during WWII to save thousands of stolen masterpieces from destruction by the Nazis. Co-stars Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman and the adorable Bob Balaban.

HIGHWAY Not Rated Looks like a Bollywood version of Patty Hearst’s Stockholm

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike 7, 1132 S. 14th St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS Sun-Ray Cinema@5Points, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 GREEN COVE SPRINGS Clay Theatre, 326 Walnut St., 284-9012 NORTHSIDE Regal River City, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinegrille Theater, Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101


A&E // MOVIES NON-STOP Rated PG-13 • Opens Feb. 28 Liam Neeson might have found his niche as an action hero, despite his astonishing turn as Oskar Schindler – you know, that guy with that list.Here he’s an air marshal getting texts from a bad guy on his same transatlantic fl ight, threatening to kill passengers unless he gets $150 million. Co-stars Julianne Moore, Nate Parker and a guy named Scoot McNairy, which doesn’t sound a very distinguished actor-name. Scoot … sounds like his next movie will be Jackass 4.5. THE NUT JOB Rated PG Will Arnett voices Surly, a rebellious squirrel banned from the park to roam the mean city streets. He plans his revenge: raid the nut store. Co-stars the vocal cords of Brendan Fraser, Katherine Heigl and Jeff Dunham. THE PAST Rated PG-13 This cheerful little film involves desertion, infidelity, divorce and rude awakenings. Co-stars Bérénice Bejo, Tahar Rahim and Ali Mosaffa. In French and Persian. PHILOMENA **** Rated PG-13 Journalist Martin (Steve Coogan) needs to boost his career. Philomena (Dame Judi Dench) wants to find the son she gave up for adoption, forced by not-so-holy nuns decades earlier. Stephen Frears directed. POMPEII Rated PG-13 We did a fifth-grade report on Mt. Vesuvius and the devastating volcanic eruption that wiped out a whole civilization. Shoulda waited for the movie, co-starring Dylan Schombing, Rebecca Eady and Kiefer Can’t-wait-to-beJack-Bauer-again. REPENTANCE Rated R • Opens Feb. 28 A spiritual advisor helps dispirited folks; here the advisor is Thomas Carter (Anthony Mackie), who has a nutcase for a client, Angel (Forest Whitaker). Angel kidnaps Tommy and all hell breaks loose. With Sanaa Lathan and Mike Epps. RIDE ALONG Rated PG-13 Kevin Hart is a smart-mouthed security guard engaged to Angela (Tika Sumpter) whose brother James (Ice Cube) is a cop. Co-stars John Leguizamo and Jay Pharoah. ROBOCOP *@@@ Rated PG-13 This dreadful reboot of the 1987 cult classic is 108 minutes of blah action and half-measures. Co-stars Samuel L. Jackson, Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton. SON OF GOD **@@ Rated PG-13 • Opens Feb. 28 Reviewed in this issue. THAT AWKWARD MOMENT Rated R Zac Efron, Michael B. Jordan and Miles Teller have hit that

juncture where you either step up and commit … or not. VAMPIRE ACADEMY Rated PG-13 Seriously? Hot girls in school uniforms, sucking blood? Co-stars Gabriel Byrne, who ought to know better, and Joely Richardson, who’s a goddamn Redgrave fer chrissake, plus Zoey Deutch and Lucy Fry. WINTER’S TALE Rated PG-13 A petty yet hot thief burgles a mansion and encounters a young woman who’s sickly yet hot. Somehow they become intertwined for life and beyond. Or before. It’s kinda iffy. Co-stars Colin Farrell and Jessica Brown Findlay, and Oscar-winners Russell Crowe and William Hurt, who must be wondering what the hell their agents are on. THE WOLF OF WALL STREET ***G Rated R Hotshot young stockbroker Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) has a mansion, yacht, private jet, cars, a steady supply of cocaine and everything else money can buy. Debauchery isn’t a habit for him; it’s a way of life. It’s the late ’80s, so anything goes. Co-stars Jonah Hill, Rob Reiner, Margot Robbie, Jon Favreau, Kyle Chandler and Matthew McConaughey. All right, all right, all right.

NEW ON DVD

GRAVITY The mind-blowing, out-of-this-world survival story from director Alfonso Cuaron stars Sandra Bullock as Ryan Stone, a medical engineer, and George Clooney as experienced astronaut Matt Kowalsky. While outside the ship making repairs, the astronauts’’ communication with Houston (it’s Ed Harris’ voice we hear at NASA – who else?) is severed by debris from an exploding satellite. They’re left tethered together, floating 375 miles above a stark blue Earth far below. How will they survive in the most unsuitable environment imaginable? THOR: THE DARK WORLD The sequel, with more action and special effects, stars Chris Hemsworth as the golden-tressed Thor and Natalie Portman as his Earth-time girlfriend Jane. Co-starring Christopher Eccleston, Anthony Hopkins, Tom Hiddleston, Kat Dennings and Stellan Skarsgard. NEBRASKA Cantankerous Woody Grant (Bruce Dern, getting longoverdue Oscar buzz) gets a piece of junk mail declaring him the winner of $1 million, so he convinces David (Will Forte) – the son who's never quite synched with his old man – to drive him to Lincoln, Neb. to claim the prize. Co-stars Stacy Keach, June Squibb, Rance Howard and Bob Odenkirk. BLUE IS THE WARMEST COLOR Two young French women (Léa Seydoux, Adèle Exarchopoulos) explore the many possibilities life has to offer. MUSCLE SHOALS This legendary music studio in rural Alabama has been the recording mecca of choice for the world’s greatest rock and blues musicians: Aretha, Bono, Mick, Gregg, Etta and hundreds more. Founder Rick Hall’s vision of diversity and excellence influenced timeless genius that continues today. 

763 NEW JOKES! Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues comes back for more with an alternate “super-sized” version – Anchorman 2.5? The “new” film opens Feb. 28 with reporter Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd, from left), weather guy Brick Tamland (Steve Carell), Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) and sportscaster Champ Kind (David Koechner).

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29


A&E // MUSIC

Trial By Fire

Dropped by its label, plagued by a domestic violence charge and left for dead, West Palm Beach indie rock quartet Surfer Blood isn’t done yet SURFER BLOOD with WAKE UP and NORTHE 8 p.m. March 5, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $10, 398-7496, jaxlive.com

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30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

y all measures, Surfer Blood should not still be standing. The South Florida quartet blew up in 2009 on the strength of its first single, “Swim,” which garnered lavish praise and coveted “buzz band” status at that year’s CMJ Music Marathon conference in New York City. And even though Astro Coast, the hardrocking yet melodically inclined debut fulllength album that followed in January 2010, was recorded in lead singer John Paul Pitts’ Boca Raton dorm room, it more than lived up to the potential of “Swim.” Soon Pitts, guitarist Thomas Fekete, bassist Kevin Williams and drummer Tyler Schwarz were earning comparisons to alt-rock royalty like Weezer and Pavement, touring with legends like The Pixies, and even headlining major international festivals like ATP, SXSW and Primavera. Four-song EP Tarot Classics, released in late 2011 on the band’s original Kanine Records label, and sophomore followup Pythons, released in mid-2013 after the band struck a deal with Warner Brothers Records, both wowed critics and fans alike. The success surrounding the albums only deepened a surprising sense that Surfer Blood was here to stay, even as other beach-themed indie rock bands were tossed off the microgenre’s short-lived wave. (It doesn’t hurt that members of the band, particularly Schwarz and Fekete, actually surf.) But Pythons, an otherwise excellent album that mixes grungy hooks, power-pop melodies and an impressively mature sense of creativity, entered the world in the shadow of Pitts’ 2012 arrest on charges of domestic battery. As Pitchfork writer Paul Thompson wrote

in a review of Pythons, “My first response, like that of many others, was a swift and decisive, ‘Fuck you.’ ” To this day, details of the incident in question remain murky, with Pitts and the woman both abstaining from discussing it. Pitts eventually agreed to a plea arrangement that dropped all charges, and in the few interviews he’s given on the subject, he’s vociferously maintained that he’s inherently nonviolent — even claiming that he’s never hit anyone in his life. Still, the dark cloud of Pitts’ arrest significantly affected the album’s reception. Not a single review shied away from dissecting song titles like “I Was Wrong” and lyrics like “damning allegations have come to light,” and Warner Brothers unceremoniously dropped

“Everyone that’s heard our new demos — even my mom — says it doesn’t sound like us.” the band in late 2013. Which is where we return to the notion that Surfer Blood should be long gone, wallowing in the footnotes of indie rock oblivion. Yet here they are in 2014, back on Kanine Records, filming homemade videos for buoyant yet emotionally tangled tracks like “Say Yes to Me,” preparing rough demos from the recording of Pythons for an April release, even working on a new album. “Shit got messy, and we definitely had some problems,” Schwarz says. “But I think our solidarity as a band is showing.” Chalk part of it up to Pitts moving away from Florida to Los Angeles while the rest of the band remained in and around West Palm Beach. Schwarz says that the newfound

geographic distance has actually helped: “We got new management, we’re doing group calls every week, and we’re all coming up with recorded parts of songs, then emailing them back and forth to each other. That’s something new for us — especially because we’re quite slow when it comes to writing music.” Surfer Blood spent three weeks in January gigging around the Pacific Northwest; listening to Bruce Springsteen, Fugazi, early My Blood Valentine, Violent Femmes, T. Rex, The Clientele, The Microphones and Krautrock bands like Can; and writing new songs in their downtime. But true to their recent tilt back toward grassroots form, they plan to record the material at home in Florida in March after testing it live in tiny venues up and down the East Coast. “We want to sonically surprise people,” Schwarz says. “The most punk, heavysounding song we’ve ever written is probably going to be the first song on the new record. Playing stuff like that to see what crowds like is fun. And I think they’ve been kind of shocked. Everyone that’s heard our new demos — even my mom — says it doesn’t sound like us. We’re definitely getting out of our comfort zone.” Given the euphoric peaks and despondent valleys the band has experienced since “Swim” first left Pitts’ dorm room, turning Surfer Blood’s world upside down in 2009, a little experimentation is a good thing. “We’ve finally found the right fit,” Schwarz says. “We’ve been together now for almost five years, so I think this is it for us. We want to make it 10 years — even 15. We want longevity. As long as a couple people keep coming to our shows.”  Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com


A&E // MUSIC

‘I’m Not Putting on a Mask’

Iron & Wine continues to evolve, but Sam Beam and his beard remain the same IRON & WINE 8 p.m. March 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, $30-35, 209-0399, pvconcerthall.com

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hough Sam Beam set the gold standard for bearded indie folk in the early 2000s, his Iron & Wine project has changed dramatically in the years since. Back then, Beam made hushed, haunting bedroom recordings in between teaching film and cinematography courses at the University of Miami; today, Beam sells out major venues like Red Rocks in Colorado and Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium. Back then, Beam cultivated an aura of quasi-Christian, Southern Gothic mythology; today, he’s an effusive father of five daughters who can bring down the house with his deadpan between-songs banter. Most significant, the music Beam writes, records and performs as Iron & Wine is stylistically and creatively light years beyond his early stark folk. Sure, everything Beam does is still built around fingerpicked acoustic guitars and his unique wall of multilayered vocal harmonies. But recent albums Kiss Each Other Clean and Ghost on Ghost feature complex string and horn arrangements, R&B shuffles, even jazz riffs. The constantly evolving approach keeps old fans on their toes while always appealing to new ones — a smart creative strategy if ever there was one. Those Iron & Wine diehards get a treat on March 1, when Beam bends the heavenly acoustics of Ponte Vedra Concert Hall to his will for a rare solo performance. We chatted with Beam about the possibilities of the format, his deep Florida roots and the driving force behind his work. Folio Weekly: You’re playing six shows in Florida this month. Given that you attended school in Tallahassee and lived in Orlando

and Miami for a spell, are you excited about returning to the Sunshine State? Sam Beam: Definitely excited. It’s been too long — probably two or three years. I lived in those places, but when I was working on movies we’d go everywhere. I worked on a movie in St. Augustine, in Tampa. Lots of memories, lots of things to see, and lots of

S.B.: It’s not hard to. My experiences usually set the whole thing in motion, and then sometimes other people’s experience adds another dimension. It depends on what’s more interesting. I don’t really create a lot of alter egos — well, that’s not true. [Laughs.] I’m going to stop before I say some bullshit.

“Pleasure should be the reason that anybody pursues an art form.” people to try and visit. I’m really looking forward to Florida. Especially since I’m not coming in the summer. Florida’s hot, holy shit. It gets brutal. F.W.: Last fall, you toured with a 12-piece band. Does performing solo this tour allow you more freedom to pull from your whole discography? S.B.: Yeah, I have more than a decade’s worth of songs now, so people can shout stuff out and usually I’ll play it — if I hear ’em. [Laughs.] Some shows, it’s all requests. You can achieve a fuller sound with a band, and it is more fun to play with other people. But at the same time, solo shows have their own quality because you can change things around. I don’t have to worry about people following me. That’s a lot of fun, too. F.W.: Given the relatively sad and subdued nature of your music, Iron & Wine fans with no experience of your live show might be taken aback by how damn funny you are on stage. S.B.: [Laughs.] I take it seriously, but fun has always been a part of it. It’s nice to strike a balance in life. F.W.: Critics have always hailed your songs’ narrative qualities. Is it hard to strike a balance between fiction and real-life storytelling?

F.W.: Please, go on. S.B.: I’m not really an actor, you know what I mean? I get up on stage and perform, but I’m not putting on a mask. I’m not looking for someone else to be. So the characters in the song, I never struggle to remove myself from them. F.W.: You’ve said in the past that art school taught you to never rest on your laurels and always worry about what’s next. Is that why every Iron & Wine album has so greatly expanded your sonic palette? S.B.: That’s definitely a big part of how I work, but I don’t think it’s a conscious thing any more, like, “In art school I learned that I’m supposed to do this ….” That way of working puts importance on your ideas — it’s a lot more about the process than the product. I don’t consciously apply that to my work, but at the same time, it was absorbed way back then and I think it’s been really helpful. Not just in music, either, but in other art forms, too. It’s more about the act of doing the work than success or any lack of attention that you might get. Pleasure should be the reason that anybody pursues an art form. It can be interesting, sure, but it’s gotta be for pleasure.  Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31


A&E // MUSIC

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Julio Iglesias’ Two-Hour Wife

The Latin superstar says ‘the passion that you give to the people is like a little marriage’ on stage JULIO IGLESIAS 7 p.m. March 2 Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, Downtown Jacksonville $44-$134, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org

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32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

ulio Iglesias is the best-selling Latin musical artist in history. He’s sold more than 300 million copies of his 80 albums, and has more than 2,600 gold- and platinumcertified records. He’s won dozens of awards and broken world records throughout the span of his 45-year career. He’s learned to sing in 14 languages. He’s performed with the likes of Frank Sinatra, Stevie Wonder, Willie Nelson, Diana Ross and Dolly Parton, and in thousands of concerts in hundreds of different cities, enrapturing countless women all over the world with his sensual, heart-throbbing voice and his Latin style of singing, with a vibrato that seems to come from his soul. If it weren’t for a serious car accident the night before his 20th birthday, an accident that rendered him unable to walk for two years, none of it would have happened. Iglesias was a goalkeeper for one of Rèal Madrid’s youth soccer teams. He was also studying law in Madrid. And then the automobile crash happened, leaving him semi-paralyzed. A nurse gave him a guitar to occupy his hands, and he began playing and writing songs, putting sad words together with simple chord progressions — and the rest, as they say, is history. He’s 70 years old now, but he’s not about to stop, or to even slow down. “It’s my passion,” he says. “It’s not a question of money at all

in my life. I made more money while I was sitting on the desk than when I was playing. If I don’t play, I die, so I prefer to play.” And he prefers to play here in Northeast Florida, appearing at the Moran Theater on March 2. His father, Julio Iglesias Sr., fell in love with a woman from Jacksonville, and the couple lived here four months out of the year before Iglesias Sr. died in 2005, at the age of 90. “I’m very familiar with Jacksonville and I adore Jacksonville,” he says. Regardless of what city or even what country he’s performing in, Iglesias says, he loves to sing for the people: “The passion that

“I am in love with every song. I just go with my soul.” you give to the people is like a little marriage. The difference is that it only lasts for two hours, but it doesn’t end in divorce.” And if the audience is his two-hour wife, his songs are like his children. “I don’t have a favorite song,” he says. “I am in love with every song. You know you can’t sing with a bias because it looks like you put more emphasis on one song over others. I just go with my soul. And in the middle of my soul is the spirit for the music.” Despite all these years of fame and fortune, Julio Iglesias still has the same passion and love for performing as he did when his career first began so long ago. “Going on stage is the most amazing thing in my life,” he says.  Amal Kamal mail@folioweekly.com


A&E

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

THE EAGLES 8 p.m. Feb. 26 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A.P. Randolph Dr., Downtown, $49.50-$189, 379-5196. FILMSTRIP, GOVERNOR’S CLUB 8 p.m. Feb. 26 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686. NORMA JEAN, SPOKEN, MY HEART TO FEAR, BLACK STACHE, MYTH OF MYSELF 5 p.m. Feb. 26 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $12, 223-9850. ASKMEIFICARE, SAMURAI SHOTGUN, WHISKEY FACE, DEAF TO THE INDUSTRY, MOSBY CLIQUE 8 p.m. Feb. 26 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE, SOSOS 8 p.m. Feb. 27 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $25, 246-2473. THE CRAZY DAYSIES 7 p.m. Feb. 27 at Wipeouts Grill, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508. SAM PACETTI, WALTER PARKS 7:30 p.m. Feb. 27 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. UNKNOWN HINSON, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE 8 p.m. Feb. 27, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks, San Marco, $5, 398-7496. BEAUSOLEIL AVEC MICHAEL DOUCET 8 p.m. Feb. 27 at CafÊ Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine, $20, 460-9311. BERNIE WORRELL ORCHESTRA, SQUEEDLEPUSS, THE GROOVE COALITION 8 p.m. Feb. 27 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $10-$13, 353-6067. MATT OWEN & ELECTRIC TUBA, BARSTOOL WISDOM 8 p.m. Feb. 28, Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks, San Marco, 398-7496. SOUTHSIDE JOHNNY & THE ASBURY JUKES 8 p.m. Feb. 28, Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., $26.50-$33, 355-2787. PRANAYAM, PRIMITIVE HARD DRIVE, DENIED TIL DEATH, SLOW MOTION SUICIDE 8 p.m. Feb. 28 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $8, 246-2473. LOVE AND THEFT 6 p.m. Feb. 28 at Mavericks at the Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, $10-$15, 356-1110. ART GARFUNKEL 8 p.m. Feb. 28 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, $39.50-$49.50, 209-0399. UNDERHILL ROSE 7:30 p.m. Feb. 28 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. GET RIGHT BAND Feb. 28 at White Lion, 20 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 829-2388. SET APART, COME & REST, ME & the TRINITY, DREAM of the DAY, MY BROTHER’S KEEPER 7:30 p.m. Feb. 28 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, $8-$10, 388-7807. THE CRAZY DAYSIES 7:30 p.m. Feb. 28 at Seven Bridges, 9735 Gate Parkway N., Southside, 997-1999. CELTIC WOMAN 8 p.m. Feb. 28 at T-U Center, 300 Water St., Downtown, $38-$124, 633-6110. DEADPHISH ORCHESTRA 8 p.m. Feb. 28 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $8. CALEDONIAN STRING BAND 7 p.m. Feb. 28, Murray Hill Theatre Fringe CafÊ, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, free, 388-7807. GREAT GUITAR GATHERING: Frank Vignola, Vinny Raniolo, DASOTA Guitar Orchestra 8 p.m. March 1 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $10-$20, 355-2787. FULL DEVIL JACKET, NEW DAY, GENERATOR, DAMNEDGED, N’CEPTION 8 p.m. March 1 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $8, 246-2473. BENJAMIN BOOKER, RICKOLUS 8 p.m. March 1 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. THE HIP ABDUCTION, LOVE CHUNK 9 p.m. March 1, The Standard, 200 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, $5-$10, 342-2187. UNDERHILL FAMILY ORCHESTRA, ANTIQUE ANIMALS 8 p.m. March 1, Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686. LARRY MANGUM 7:30 p.m. March 1 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. IRON & WINE 8 p.m. March 1 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, $30-$35, 209-0399. GET RIGHT BAND 7:30 p.m. March 1 at White Lion, 20 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 829-2388. TRAE PIERCE & T-STONE BAND, LYDA BROTHERS BAND, HERD of WATTS 8 p.m. March 1, 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $5. JOHN TIBBS, BROOKE LOGAN, SAVANNA LEIGH BASSETT, LEAH SYKES 8 p.m. March 1 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, $7-$10, 388-7807. JULIO IGLESIAS 7 p.m. March 2 at T-U Center’s Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 633-6110.

MUSIC FreebirdLive.com

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DJ HOPPA/FUNK VOLUME GUESTS LEGIT/DENVER THURSDAY MARCH 6

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SECRET INGREDIENTS: Garrett Dutton (aka G. Love) returns to Freebird Live in Jax Beach with his band Special Sauce, Jeffrey “Houseman� Clemens and Tim Shanko. They’re touring in the lead-up to a new album, Sugar, dropping in April. BIG GIGANTIC, CAKED UP, SIR CHARLES 7:30 p.m. March 2 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $20, 246-2473. ICE NINE KILLS, ABOLISH THE RELICS 6 p.m. March 2 at Brewster’s, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $12, 223-9850. LOCAL H, MEMPHIBIANS 8 p.m. March 2 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $15, 398-7496. ROUNDHEELS, GLEN MARTIN, EMMA MOSELEY BAND 8 p.m. March 3, Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686. STILL THE SKY’S LIMIT, HEY MONAE! 8 p.m. March 3 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. THE DYLAN TAYLOR BAND 9 p.m. March 4 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 353-6067. TWO COW GARAGE, BEAU CRUM & THE WEIGHTED HANDS, JOEL WILTGEN 8 p.m. March 4 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. HOPSIN, DJ HOPPA, FUNK VOLUME, LEGIT, DENVER 7 p.m. March 5, Freebird Live, 200 N. First, Jax Beach, $20, 246-2473. SPIRITUAL REZ & THE MESSENGERS 8 p.m. March 5 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, free, 353-6067. FRANKIE VALLI & THE FOUR SEASONS March 5 at T-U Center, 300 Water St., Downtown, 633-6110. HE IS LEGEND, ON GUARD 9 p.m. March 5 at 1904 Music Hall,

19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $12-$15. SURFER BLOOD, WAKE UP, NORTHE 8 p.m. March 5 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $10, 398-7496.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

THE KENNEDYS March 6, Mudville Music Room CAROLINA CHOCOLATE DROPS March 6, P.V. Concert Hall DROPKICK MURPHYS, LUCERO, SKINNY LISTER March 6, Mavericks at the Landing DARSOMBRA, NATIONAL DIARY March 6, Burro Bar GENERAL TSO’S FURY, ASKULTURA March 6, Jack Rabbits RITTZ, JELLY ROLL March 6, Freebird Live KJ-52, JASON DUNN March 6, Murray Hill Theatre BLOOD WATER BENEFIT: Jars of Clay, Samuel Sanders March 7, Murray Hill Theatre J. RODDY WALTSON & THE BUSINESS, CLEAR PLASTIC MASKS, ON GUARD March 7, Freebird Live MATRIMONY March 8, Jack Rabbits COMEBACK KID, BACKTRACK, XIBALBA, DOWNPRESSER, TO THE WIND March 8, Atticus Bar AMY SPEACE March 8, Mudville Music Room STEVE MILLER BAND March 8, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

X102.9 FM’S FREE BIRTHDAY CONCERT WITH

J. RODDY WALSTON & THE BUSINESS

CLEAR PLASTIC MASKS/ON GUARD SATURDAY MARCH 8

WARRIOR KING

& THE ONE SOUND BAND

DE LIONS OF JAH/JAH ELECT & THE I QUALITY BAND

KANA KIEHM/74 SOUND SYSTEM THURSDAY MARCH 13

TRIBAL SEEDS

NEW KINGSTON/INNAVISION FRIDAY MARCH 14

PA R K R I D G E

YOUR BEST FRIEND MY FAVORITE BAND ARTILECT/ALL THINGS DONE

MonTuesWed-

SATURDAY MARCH 15

MEN’S NIGHT OUT BEER PONG 9PM FREE POOL ALL U CAN EAT CRABLEGS TEXAS HOLD ’EM STARTS AT 7 P.M. HAPPY HOUR ALL NIGHT t,*%4&"5'3&&'30.1. 501. t#6:8*/(4(&5 8*/(4'3&& t13*$&%"11&5*;&34  #"30/-: 1.$-04&

Thurs-

OPEN MIC NITE 9PM 13*$&%%3*/,4 1.".

Fri-

BOOGIE FREAKS 9:30pm 13*$&"114'3* #"30/-: 1. %&$,.64*$1.1.

Sat-

BOOGIE FREAKS 9:30pm %&$,.64*$1.1.

Sun-

LIVE MUSIC 4:30-8:30pm

SOWFLO/WEEKEND ATLAS GARRETT ON ACOUSTIC SUNDAY MARCH 16

WE THE KINGS THIS CENTURY/CRASH THE PARTY THURSDAY MARCH 27

DRIVIN’ N CRYIN’ FRIDAY MARCH 28

FORTUNATE YOUTH SIDEREAL/TRUE PRESS TUESDAY APRIL 1

ALL TIME LOW

MAN OVERBOARD/HANDGUNS UPCOMING 4-17: 4-18: 4-19: 4-24: 4-25: 4-27: 4-28: 5-7: 5-11: 5-19: 7-25:

Local Natives Passafire/Lullwater Blessthefall/Silverstein GRIZ/Michal Menert/Late Night Radio Taking Back Sunday Matt Still’s 2nd annual Sole Tour Easy Star Allstars/Cas Haley Katchafire Mike Pinto/B-Side Players The 1975/Bad Suns Cultura Profetica

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33


A&E // MUSIC

THE KNIFE

This Trumpet’s on Fire Mardi Gras, Bold City-style

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34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

ardi Gras — that special time of year when drunken debauchery, public nudity and all manner of overindulgence is not only permitted, but encouraged. Problem is, we live Northeast Florida, a nine-hour drive from The Big Easy. Musician and promoter Cyrus G. Quaranta wants to change that. Not our geographical location, of course, but in the spirit of Fat Tuesday, Quaranta has put together an evening of debauchery all his own. On Sunday (just two days before the real Mardi Gras), the Mardi Gras Masquerade Party is set for 8 p.m. to midnight at Underbelly Downtown. The night begins innocuously enough, with Quaranta and Tom Bennett on dueling pianos. Of course, with partially nude male and female models in body paint, a fire-eater and costumed guests filtering into the premises, the tameness won’t last long. The duo is followed by Jacksonville’s Mondo Mike & the Po Boys, an R&B and blues ensemble featuring Quaranta on keys and guest vocalist Spice. “Mike [Bernos] is originally from New Orleans,” says Quaranta. “Born and raised. His band is an original blues-rock band, New Orleans-inspired.” Also on the bill: 12-person band Eclectic Soul, DJ Giz-Roc and a live Chilleasy Podcast with guest David Luckin (from WJCT’s Electro Lounge.) Massage therapists, clothing vendors and the Funkadelic Food Truck, providing Cajun cuisine, are on hand, too.

The big party culminates in an open-jam drum-and-horn line, during which musicians can join in the parade-style merriment. Admission to the event is free, and masks will be provided at the door for those who wish to protect their anonymity. If you want to get warmed up for the Mardi Gras party, a trip to the Burro Bar on Feb. 27 might be in order. There shall play Seattle’s Dusty 45s, which should be, if you’re inclined toward bluesy jazz, rockabilly, surf rock and the dead-on swing of “Minnie the Moocher,” right up your filthy alley. These guys are polished musicians, a hit on summer festival lineups. And if, for some reason, the music doesn’t get you — which it should — bandleader Billy Joe Huels, blond pompadour standing tall, sets the bell of his trumpet aflame during the finale. Inhaling while playing is quite perilous, to be sure, but Huels says he studied how to do it safely and that it adds a touch of vaudeville to the show. The Dusty 45s are no strangers to the road, a touring ensemble of the thick-skinned variety. As a testament to their stature, the 45s were chosen in 2011 to back rockabilly legend Wanda Jackson, whose career was resurrected when she hooked up with Jack White, who produced her album The Party Ain’t Over. There were no reports that Billy Joe set Wanda on fire during the tour. 

THE REPUBLIK March 8, Underbelly WARRIOR KING & THE ONE SOUND BAND, DE LIONS OF JAH, JAH ELECT & THE I QUALITY BAND, KANA KIEHM, 74 SOUNDSYSTEM March 8, Freebird Live LEVERAGE MODELS, WOVEN IN, THE HIGHWAY March 8, Burro Bar ALESANA, GET SCARED, HEARTS & HANDS, FAREWELL MY LOVE, MEGOSH March 9, Brewster’s Megaplex AGENT ORANGE March 9, Jack Rabbits SCOTTY McCREERY March 9, The Florida Theatre CURTIN March 10, Burro Bar DIAMOND PLATE, EAST OF THE WALL, DIRTY AUTOMATIC March 10, Jack Rabbits BOBAFLEX March 11, Brewster’s Megaplex LES RACQUET, THE ACCOMPLICES, WORTH ROAD March 12, Jack Rabbits TRIBAL SEEDS, STICK FIGURE, SEEDLESS March 13, Freebird

PIERCE PETTIS March 13, The Original Café Eleven DANA COOPER March 13, Mudville Music Room JACK RUSSELL’S GREAT WHITE March 13, Brewster’s CHRISTOPER DEAN BAND March 13-15, A1A Ale Works HARPETH RISING, HONEY BOY, BOOTS March 14, Mudville Music MICHAEL BOLTON March 14, The Florida Theatre UNKNOWN LIQUID, OSCAR MIKE, BETHANY STOCKDALE March 14, Jack Rabbits PARKRIDGE, YOUR BEST FRIEND & MY FAVORITE BAND, ARTILECT, ALL THINGS DONE March 14, Freebird Live IRISH TO THE END March 14, The Pioneer Barn PHUK THE POLITICS, NO BLARNEY March 14, 1904 Music Hall RACHELLE FERRELL March 14, Ritz Theatre MARGO REY March 14, Underbelly MUSIC FOR MEOWS BENEFIT: Rock Hell Victory, Jenni Reid, Lauren Fincham, Andy King, The Jo Charles Project, Dixie Rodeo March 15, Jack Rabbits

John Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com

SOWFLO, WEEKEND ATLAS March 15, Freebird Live TOOTS LORRAINE & TRAFFIC March 15, Mudville Music Room GRAVITY A, SPORE March 15, Underbelly WE the KINGS, THIS CENTURY, CRASH the PARTY March 16, Freebird Live LA DISPUTE March 16, Brewster’s Megaplex IRISH TO THE END March 16, The Pioneer Barn TAKE THE STAGE-4 DONNY: His Name Was Iron, Fit for Rivals, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, Canary in the Coalmine, Tom Bennett Band, P.U.B., Superjam March 16, Jack Rabbits Natural Life MUSIC FESTIVAL: Larkin Poe, HoneyHoney, Autumn Defense, Sarah Jarosz March 16, Metro Park REDRICK SULTAN March 17, Burro Bar THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER, GORGUTS, NOISEM March 17, Jack Rabbits GEORGE THOROGOOD & the DESTROYERS March 19, Fla. Theatre WE BUTTER THE BREAD WITH BUTTER, LIONS LIONS, HONOUR CREST March 19, Jack Rabbits NOBRA NOMA, SKYBISON March 19, Burro Bar ERIC LINDELL March 20, Mojo Kitchen HIROYA TSUKAMOTO, SAM PACETTI, MICHAEL JORDAN March 20, Mudville Music Room SUWANNEE SPRINGFEST: The Avett Brothers, Del McCoury Band, Punch Brothers, Sam Bush Band, Southern Soul Assembly, Jason Isbell, Travelin’ McCoury Jam, Donna the Buffalo, Steep Canyon Rangers, Jim Lauderdale, Greensky Bluegrass, Willie Sugarcaps, The Duhks, Aoife O’Donovan, Floodwood, Ralph Roddenbery, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine, Whetherman, Canary in the Coalmine, The Royal Tinfoil, Holy Ghost Tent Revival, Love Canon, Grant Peeples, The Stacks, Sloppy Joe, Uproot Hootenanny, Big Cosmo, Habanera Honeys, Tammerlin, The New 76ers, JacksonVegas, Quartermoon, James Justin & Co., Rosco Bandana, SOSOS, The Whiskey Gentry, Bibb City Ramblers, 2-Foot Level, Henhouse Prowlers, Come Back Alice, Gypsy Wind, Nook & Cranny, Beartoe, Mickey Abraham’s Acoustic Ensemble March 20-23, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park MOULLINEX, MARBEYA SOUND March 21, Underbelly MIDDLE CLASS RUT, BRICK & MORTAR, DINOSAUR PILEUP March 21, Jack Rabbits PINK MARTINI March 21, The Florida Theatre JOSHUA SCOTT JONES, JORDYN STODDARD March 21, Café 11 EMMA MOSELEY BAND March 21, Freebird Live LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO March 22, The Florida Theatre SCOTLAND’S BATTLEFIELD BAND March 22, Mudville Music TOOTS LORRAINE & the TRAFFIC March 22, Mojo Kitchen WE ARE THE IN CROWD, WILLIAM BECKETT, SET IT OFF, STATE CHAMPS, CANDY HEARTS March 22, Jack Rabbits THE MOODY BLUES March 22, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MARY OCHER March 22, Burro Bar MARC COHN DUO March 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, THE GHOST INSIDE, I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN, DANGERKIDS March 23, Murray Hill Theatre SCOTLAND’S BATTLEFIELD BAND March 23, Culhane’s Pub THE TURNPIKE TROUBADOURS March 24, Jack Rabbits THE SUITCASE JUNKET March 25, Underbelly DOC HANDY March 25, Mudville Music Room DAVE HAUSE, NORTHCOTE March 26, Jack Rabbits DANGERMUFFIN March 26, 1904 Music Hall GET THE LED OUT March 27, The Florida Theatre JOHN FLYNN March 27, Mudville Music Room DIRTY BOURBON RIVER SHOW March 27, Underbelly DRIVIN N CRYIN’ March 27, Freebird Live YOUR 33 BLACK ANGELS March 27, Burro Bar YONAS, PELL, DRAZAH March 27, Jack Rabbits THE BRONX WANDERERS March 28, Thrasher-Horne Center FORTUNATE YOUTH March 28, Freebird Live LORETTA LYNN March 28, The Florida Theatre PROTEST THE HERO, BATTLECROSS, SAFETY FIRE, INTERVALS, NIGHT/VERSUS March 28, Jack Rabbits GORAN IVANOVIC March 28, The Original Café Eleven STILL ON THE HILL March 29, Mudville Music Room SLIDE INTO SPRING FESTIVAL March 29, Fernandina Beach CULTURA PROFETICA March 29, Freebird Live 2 CHAINZ March 29, Brewster’s Megaplex THE MOWGLIS, MISTERWIVES, BURIED BEDS March 29, Jack Rabbits CARRIE NATION & the SPEAKEASY, MUDTOWN, TAIL LIGHT REBELLION March 30, Burro Bar AARON BING March 30, T-U Center STEVE POLITZ, DONNY BRAZILE March 30, Café Eleven THE FUNERAL and the TWILIGHT, BURNT HAIR, PROSTRATE, VASES March 31, Burro Bar ALL TIME LOW, MAN OVERBOARD, HAND GUNS April 1, Freebird STEVE HACKETT April 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MOBB DEEP April 2, Underbelly TESSERACT April 2, Brewster’s Megaplex JESSE COOK April 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PEPPINO DEAUGUSTINO April 3, Mudville Music Room PAUL ANKA April 3, T-U Center’s Moran Theater T. MILLS April 3, Brewster’s Megaplex SOJA April 3, The Florida Theatre SPRINGING THE BLUES FESTIVAL April 4-6, Jax Beach ROBERT CRAY BAND April 4, P.V. Concert Hall ZACH MYERS (of Shinedown) April 4, Brewster’s Megaplex SHANE DWIGHT April 4 & 5, Mojo Kitchen GRANT PEEPLES April 5, Mudville Music Room THOMAS WYNN & the BELIEVERS, IVEY WEST BAND April 5, Underbelly SLICK RICK 25TH ANNIVERSARY TOURApril 5, Freebird Live SOUTH EAST BEAST April 5-6, Brewster’s Megaplex DOUG STANHOPE April 6, Underbelly THE REIGN OF KINDO April 7, Jack Rabbits AMOS LEE April 7, The Florida Theatre


A&E // MUSIC TANTRIC, SOIL April 8, Brewster’s Megaplex AUTHORITY ZERO April 9, Jack Rabbits WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL: The Allman Brothers Band, Trey Anastasio Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tedeschi Trucks Band, Gov’t Mule, Jaimoe’s Jasssz Band, Umphrey’s McGee, Ziggy Marley, Blues Traveler, The Chris Robinson Brotherhood, Hot Tuna Electric, moe., Rusted Root, Ivan Neville’s Dumpstaphunk, Soulive, Royal Southern Brotherhood, Walter Trout, Rob Garza (Thievery Corporation), Blind Boys of Alabama, Bobby Lee Rodgers, Melvin Seals & JGB, Futurebirds, Matt Schofield, Break Science, Sean Chambers, The Yeti Trio April 10-12, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA April 11, P.V. Concert Hall MIKE EPPS April 11, T-U Center RAY WYLIE HUBBARD, THE 77D’S April 12, Jack Rabbits WHITE FANG, DENNEY & THE JETS April 12, Burro Bar DOPAPOD, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE April 12, Freebird Live OYSTER JAM MUSIC FEST April 12-13, Metropolitan Park JON VEZNER April 13, Mudville Music Room THE ZOMBIES April 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MOON TAXI April 13, Jack Rabbits THE VALLEY ROOTS April 14, Underbelly THE DECORATION April 16, Jack Rabbits LEDISI April 16, The Florida Theatre LOCAL NATIVES April 17, Freebird Live MITCH KUHMAN BAND April 17, Sangrias MEAN MARY April 17, Mudville Music Room CONSIDER THE SOURCE April 18, Underbelly TECH N9NE April 18, Brewster’s Edge Concert Hall PASSAFIRE, LULLWATER April 18, Freebird Live CASKEY April 18, Brewster’s THE RESOLVERS, UNIVERSAL GREEN, THE MESSENGERS April 19, Underbelly MERCYGIRL, WHOSOEVER SOUTH April 19, Murray Hill Theatre BLESSTHEFALL, SILVERSTEIN, THE AMITY AFFLICTION, SECRETS, HEARTIST April 19, Freebird Live DARIUS RUCKER, ELI YOUNG BAND, COREY SMITH April 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SLAID CLEAVES April 19, Mudville Music Room MISHKA, SARAH BLACKER April 20, Jack Rabbits REHAB April 22, Jack Rabbits TODD SNIDER April 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall VANCE GILBERT April 24, Mudville Music Room GRIZ, MICHAL MENERT April 24, Freebird Live TAKING BACK SUNDAY, TONIGHT ALIVE, SLEEPWAVE April 25, Freebird Live LARRY MANGUM April 26, Mudville Music Room DICK DALE April 26, Jack Rabbits

Mon: Karaoke Tues: Karaoke Wed: Jam Nite / Open Mic

Heavy Hitters Club Host Band Synrgy Featuring Rocco Marshall, Derek Hess, Clinton Carver, Rick “Hurricane� Johnson and other special guests. That means you. 8:30 pm

Thurs: Boogie Freaks Fri: Home of the Most Talented

Wait Staff Show begins 9pm till close

WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Avenged Sevenfold, The Cult, Motorhead, Volbeat, Chevelle, Alter Bridge, Hellyeah, Adelitas Way, Rev Theory, Butcher Babies, Memphis May Fire, Chiodos, We as Human, Monster Truck, We Came as Romans, Middle Class Rut, Devour the Day April 26, Metropolitan Park WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Korn, Rob Zombie, Five Finger Death Punch, Staind, Seether, Theory of a Deadman, Black Label Society, Black Stone Cherry, Trivium, Motionless in White, Sick Puppies, Skindred, The Pretty Reckless, Lacuna Coil, Fozzy, Kyng, Nothing More, Twelve Foot Ninja April 27, Metropolitan Park ANTIQUE ANIMALS April 27, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach SANTANA April 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOLE TOUR: Nate Holley, John Earle, Charlie Walker, Odd Rodd, Rachael Warfield, Matt Still April 27, Freebird Live ROB THOMAS April 29, The Florida Theatre JOHN LEGEND April 30, The Florida Theatre SUWANNEE RIVER JAM: Brantley Gilbert, Montgomery Gentry, The Mavericks, Chris Cagle, Justin Moore, Charlie Daniels Band, Colt Ford April 30-May 3, Spirit of Suwannee Music Park LARRY MANGUM, JIM CARRICK, CHARLEY SIMMONS May 1, Mudville Music Room DA GUITAR STUDENT RECITAL May 3, Mudville Music Room BRIT FLOYD May 4, The Florida Theatre AMY GRANT May 4, T-U Center Jacoby Symphony Hall THE HEAD AND THE HEART May 8, P.V. Concert Hall CHER, CYNDI LAUPER May 14, Veterans Memorial Arena TURKUAZ May 7, Underbelly COMBICHRIST May 8, Brewster’s Megaplex THE FAB FOUR May 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PURPLE HATTER’S BALL: Beats Antique, Emancipator Ensemble, New Mastersounds, Heavy Pets, Nth Power, Space Capone, Rising Appalachia, Greenhouse Lounge May 9-11, Suwannee Music Park BEGGAR’S RIDE, MARK MANDEVILLE, RAIANNE RICHARDS May 10, Mudville Music Room MARION CRANE, BLEEDING IN STEREO, GHOSTWITCH May 10, Jack Rabbits GLASS CLOUD, I THE MIGHTY May 10, Brewster’s Megaplex MIKE PINTO, B-SIDE PLAYERS, OJO DE BUEY May 11, Freebird CONOR OBERST, DAWES May 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YOU KNEW ME WHEN May 13, Underbelly CHER May 14, Veterans Memorial Arena MIKE SHACKELFORD May 14, Mudville Music Room WOODY PINES May 15, Underbelly GLADYS KNIGHT May 16, T-U Center THE 1975 May 19, Freebird Live JACK JOHNSON, ALO May 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

DALE CRICER, DELL SUGGS, BOB PATTERSON May 21, Mudville Music Room ANTIQUE ANIMALS May 22, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach STYX, FOREIGNER, DON FELDER May 23, St. Aug. Amphitheatre LADIES WITH LYRICS: Julie Durden, Rebecca Zapen, Brenda David May 30, Mudville Music Room WEEZER June 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre Songwriter’s Circle Anniversary: Larry Mangum, Mike Shackelford, Jamie DeFrates June 7, Mudville Music Room COUNTRY SUPERFEST: Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, Eric Church, Miranda Lambert, Florida Georgia Line, Little Big Town, Big & Rich, Easton Corbin, Colt Ford, Joe Nichols June 14-15, EverBank Field GYPSY STAR, REBECCA ZAPEN June 19, Mudville Music Room DAVE MATTHEWS BAND July 15, Veterans Memorial Arena FALL OUT BOY, NEW POLITICS July 27, St. Aug. Amphitheatre MOTLEY CRUE, ALICE COOPER Oct. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena

CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing every Fri.-Sat. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Working Class Stiff 9:30 p.m. every Tue. THE PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 Schnockered 9:30 p.m. March 2. Buck Smith every Tue. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 DJ Roc at 6 p.m. every Wed. Richard Smith 6 p.m. Fri. Honey Badgers every Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

BREWSTER’S MEGAPLEX, 845 University Blvd. N., 223-9850 Norma Jean, Spoken, My Heart to Fear, Myth of Myself 5 p.m. Feb. 26. Ice Nine Kills, Abolish the Relics 6 p.m. March 2 MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri.-Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith every Tue. DJ Free every Fri. DJ SuZi-Rok every Mon. MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Wes Cobb Feb. 28

BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) 200 FIRST STREET, Courtyard, Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Lauren Fincham Duo 7 p.m. Feb. 28. Groove Band March 1

WEDNESDAY Richard Smith THURSDAY The Splinters FRIDAY & SATURDAY Str8 Up SUNDAY Pierce & Harmony Fat Tuesday Bay Street Band Irish Red Tapping Party March 5th, 5-7pm Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD#FBDIt

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35


A&E // MUSIC CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Small Fish Feb. 28. Irish music 6:30 p.m. March 2 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Pop Muzik 10 p.m. Feb. 28. Red Beard & Stinky E 10 p.m. every Thur. Darren Corlew every Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Wes Cobb every Thur. Charlie Walker Mon. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 G Love & Special Sauce, Sosos 8 p.m. Feb. 27. Pranayam, Primitive Hard Drive, Denied Til Death, Slow Motion Suicide 8 p.m. Feb. 28. Full Devil Jacket, New Day, Generator, Damnedged, N’Ception 8 p.m. March 1. Big Gigantic, Caked Up, Sir Charles 7:30 p.m. March 2. Hopsin, DJ Hoppa, Funk Volume, Legit, Denver 7 p.m. March 5. Rittz, Jelly Roll March 6. J. Roddy Waltson & The Business, Clear Plastic Masks, On Guard March 7 ISLAND GIRL BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Tad Jennings Feb. 27. Brady Reich Feb. 28. John Austill March 1 LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024 PowerBall, Clarence Blowfly Reid March 5. Open mic every Wed. Matt Still every Thur. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Mystic Dino 10 p.m. Feb. 28-March 1. Be Easy Mon. Split Tone every Thur. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 DiCarlo Thompson Feb. 26. Whetherman Feb. 27. Red Beard Feb. 28. Ryan Crary March 1 MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Mike Shackelford & Rick Johnson every Thur. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Job Meiller Feb. 27. Sidetrack March 1 PIER CANTINA, 412 N. First St., 246-6454 Nate Holley March 1. Ryan Campbell & Charlie Walker every Fri. Split Tone every Sun. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Richard Smith Feb. 26. The Splinters Feb. 27. Str8 Up Feb. 28-March 1. Pierce & Harmony, Fat Tuesday Bay Street Band March 2. Billy Bowers 7 p.m. March 5 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 The Crazy Daysies 7 p.m. Feb. 27. Amy Vickers 9:30 p.m. Feb. 28

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Deadphish Orchestra 8 p.m. Feb. 28. Herd of Watts, Trae Pierce & T-Stone Band, Lyda Brothers Band 8 p.m. March 1. He Is Legend, On Guard March 5 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 677-2977 Filmstrip, Governor’s Club 8 p.m. Feb. 26. The Underhill Family Orchestra, Antique Animals, Pilotwave 8 p.m. March 1. Roundheels, Glen Martin, Emma Moseley Band 8 p.m. March 3. Six Time Losers March 5

DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ NickFresh 9 p.m. every Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Braxton Adamson 5 p.m., 2 Live Dudes 8:30 p.m. Feb. 28 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Chrome Heart Band 6 p.m. Feb. 28. Live music every Fri.-Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Love and Theft 6 p.m. Feb. 28. Dropkick Murphys, Lucero, Skinny Lister March 6. Joe Buck, Big Tasty spin Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 353-6067 Bernie Worrell Orchestra, Squeedlepuss, The Groove Coalition 8 p.m. Feb. 27. JDilla Tribute: Tough Junkie, Sir Larry Otis 9 p.m. Feb. 28. The Dylan Taylor Band 9 p.m. March 4. Spiritual Rez & the Messengers 8 p.m. March 5

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Megan Dimond 10 p.m. Feb. 28. Street Legal March 1 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Boogie Freaks 9:30 p.m. Feb. 28-March 1. Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri.-Sat., 4:30 p.m. every Sun. DJ BG every Mon.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Bandontherun 9 p.m. Feb. 26. The Ride 9 p.m. Feb. 28-March 1. Pronounced (Lynyrd Skynyrd) the Tribute 8 p.m. March 5 SALSA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 13500 Beach Blvd., 992-8402 Live guitar music 6-9 p.m. every Tue. & Sat.

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine, 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 El Dub 8 p.m. Feb. 26-27. Live music 9 p.m. every Thur.-Sat.

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY

ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 820 A1A N., 834-2492 Clayton Bush Feb. 27. Lance Neely Feb. 28. Pili Pili March 1 PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Live music every Fri.-Sat. SoundStage Sun. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 Darren Corlew 7:30 p.m. Feb. 26. Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. Feb. 27. Paxton

& Mike 7:30 p.m. Feb. 28. Ben Haley 7:30 p.m. March 1

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor 8:30 p.m. every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Set Apart, I Am the Witness, Come and Rest, Me & The Trinity, Dream of the Day, My Brother’s Keeper, Caledonia String Band Feb. 28. John Tibbs, Brooke Logan, Savanna Leigh Bassett, Leah Sykes 8 p.m. March 1. KJ-52, Jason Dunn, DJ Will, Neek Smif 7 p.m. March 6. Blood Water Benefit: Jars of Clay, Samuel Sanders 8 p.m. March 7 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St. DJ Paten Locke, Jacob Creel record release Feb. 28 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave. Underhill Rose 1:30 p.m. March 1

ST. AUGUSTINE

CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Beausoleil avec Michael Doucet 8 p.m. Feb. 27 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Mojo Roux 7 p.m. Feb. 28. Deron Baker 2-5 p.m., Mojo Roux 7-11 p.m. March 1. Vinny Jacobs 2-5 p.m. March 2 HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Feb. 26 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040 Ivey West Band Feb. 28 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Wild Shiners 9 p.m. Feb. 28-March 1 . Todd & Molly Jones every Wed. Aaron Esposito every Thur. THE STANDARD, 200 Anastasia Blvd., 342-2187 The Hip Abduction, Love Chunk 9 p.m. March 1 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Red River Band 9 p.m. Feb. 28-March 1. Matanzas every Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth 1 p.m. every Sat.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BLACKFINN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music 5 p.m. every Wed., 9 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Live music Fri.-Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Whiskey Face, Askmeificare, Samurai Shotgun, Deaf to the Industry, Mosby Clique 8 p.m. Feb. 26. Unknown Hinson, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine Feb. 27. Matt Owen & Electric Tuba Feb. 28. Benjamin Booker March 1. Local H March 2. Still the Sky’s Limit March 3. Two Cow Garage, Beau Crum & the Weighted Hands, Joel Wiltgen March 4. Surfer Blood, Wake Up, Northe March 5 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Sam Pacetti, Walter Parks 7:30 p.m. Feb. 27. Underhill Rose 7:30 p.m. Feb. 28. Larry Mangum, Terry Campbell, Denny LeRoux 7:30 p.m. March 1. Mike Shackelford 7:30 p.m. March 5

SOUTHSIDE

ISLAND GIRL, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Mark O’Quinn Feb. 27. Kevin Ski Feb. 28. Paxton Stark March 1 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Didactic 9 p.m. Feb. 27. Blonde Ambition 9 p.m. Feb. 28. C’Nergy 9 p.m. March 1 SEVEN BRIDGES, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 The Crazy Daysies Feb. 28. Live music Fri.-Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Love Monkey Feb. 26. Chilly Rhino Feb. 27. Contraband 9 p.m. Feb. 28. Georgia Southern March 1. Pop Muzik or Chilly Rhino rotate every Wed.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DAMES POINT MARINA, 4542 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Live music every Fri.-Sat. HIGHWAY 17 ROADHOUSE TAVERN, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 225-9211 Live music every Fri.-Sat.  To submit your event, email djohnson@folioweekly.com or mdryden@folioweekly.com. Deadline for print is 4 p.m. Friday. Due to space constraints, not all submissions appear in print.

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014


A&E // MUSIC

The Center of the Storm

One of the busiest artists in town, Robin Rutenberg stays calm FOUR FAMILIES ALBUM RELEASE with ALEX E. March 1, Rain Dogs, 5 Points, $5

THE LITTLE BOOKS with MATRIMONY and SPEAKING CURSIVE March 8, Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $10 advance, $15 at the door

S

he speaks softly and carries an electrified mandolin to the stage; bodies cluster in the darkness, waiting to hear one of the truly inimitable voices in music today, as close as possible, in the setting with which it’s become most identified: leading one of the most beloved bands in town at Burro Bar. It was a night for serious music, by serious musicians, and now it was time to get serious — but first, a blooper: Robin Rutenberg spills a little beer on her effects pedals, which are both priceless and disposable because she built them herself. It’s doubly embarrassing, because she helps brew beer for a living. She laughs that off, and Four Families proceeds to make everyone’s night, as she always does, whether she’s performing or not. Here’s Rutenberg in a nutshell: singer, guitarist, songwriter, artist, activist, community organizer, brewmistress, house-party planner and leader of two of the city’s most interesting bands — Four Families and The Little Books, which both have new recordings on the horizon. “There is nobody who sounds like Robin,” says videographer/promoter Keagan Anfuso, as he stands shivering on the sidewalk outside Burro Bar moments after Rutenberg’s set. “She’s incredibly talented, as far as bringing music styles together. Everything that’s coming out of her is so passionate, and that’s a huge part of our community that a lot of people outside of Jacksonville don’t understand: The people here are so passionate about what they’re doing, and they’re typically doing it for the right reasons. Robin is a perfect example of coming from the right place.” Rutenberg started playing guitar at age 12, but sang long before; early disasters in voice training helped her resolve to do things her way. She released her first album, Kitten In A Ferris Wheel, in 2008. Rutenberg worked mostly as a solo artist before she formed Four Families with bassist Quinn Messner, cellist Naarah Strokosch and drummer Summer Wood in early 2011. They released the appropriately titled Sea Legs EP later that year and toured the East Coast. Four Families’ new self-titled album, dropping at Rain Dogs March 1, leads off strongly with the single “La Florida,” whose propulsive rhythms and dense, driving harmonies encapsulate their sound. The video for the song was shot in one day, with a little blonde girl (who could, probably not

Photo: Dennis Ho

accidentally, pass for a young Rutenberg) frolicking through the forest at Camp Milton, interspersed with shots of the bands’ hands. “Robin really wanted to capture how, when you’re a child and you’re in nature, it’s a very magical experience,” says Anfuso, the video’s director. “You kinda create your own world inside nature. And she also wanted to capture how absolutely gorgeous Florida is.” It is a beautiful video, which is ironic, since “La Florida” is one of Rutenberg’s angriest compositions — in Rutenberg’s words, it’s “pretty critical of post-colonialism and modern conquistadors. … I don’t think of myself as political, [but] any kind of social injustice against women, or people of color, or the LGBTQ community, they set me on fire, and I always get very warm when I hear about any of atrocities or wrongdoing. I think the most important thing to me is to live in a community that is caring and compassionate to everyone, and it’s not real, so that’s upsetting, and I write about it.”

the genre as it does the artist: Her new work is a sort of reconciliation of seemingly opposite ends of the sonic spectrum. There is as little conflict in her music as in her life. Her come-to-Jesus moment came not even two years ago, with the purchase of her first electric guitar — a white Telecaster she wields like her own Hattori Hanzo. “Everything I’ve done in my career musically, so far, has been very much about structure and perfection, I guess, and finding something pleasing and balanced,” she says. “And I never really thought about how wonderful ugliness can be, especially when it comes to art, and knowing how to use that little tinge to set things apart in your art. Pedals totally opened this whole new realm of songwriting and structure and sound.” Rutenberg began building her own pedals right away, then experimenting in collaboration with Strokosch, a classically trained cellist whose playing may be the real center of Four Families’ sound. Their only performance so far

“I never really thought about how wonderful ugliness can be.” Rutenberg’s support of the scene has been facilitated in large part by the support of her employer, Intuition Ale Works. When she went on tour with Four Families in summer 2012, not only did she get the time off, the owners gave the band a van — probably the same one Rutenberg will be touring in later this year. She was at Intuition the night before the show, dispensing some of the region’s finest craft beers to a room of regulars largely unfamiliar with her music. Even with First Coast News outside, reporting at that moment on the scuttling of the King Street Farmers Market, it was still all fun and games inside, mostly because of Rutenberg’s reassuring presence. Whether she’s on stage or behind a bar, Rutenberg has an air of concentrated calm — like the eye of a hurricane. Recently, those winds swirling around her have started getting darker and more dangerous, but in a good way. Having worked exclusively with traditional song forms, she’s now stepping as far outside her comfort zone and commercial base as she could get: Robin Rutenberg, who’s helped craft some of the most languid, lustrous harmonies of recent years, has begun experimenting with noise music. This says almost as much about

has been in an unusual place — a graveyard. These experiments have fueled an explosion of writing and composing, as Rutenberg heads into her most creative period yet. Some of the material is sure to turn up on her upcoming second solo album, Tender, due out in April under the moniker Insel, and some on The Little Books’ album, Bridges and Empires, due out in May. Some of the noise material will also be utilized in Wild Apples, an art publication being developed by artist Jim Draper. What’s more, the spring and summer are looking even busier than usual, starting with Four Families’ album release at Rain Dogs on March 1. The Little Books play Jack Rabbits the next Saturday. From there, Rutenberg’s set to tour with Four Families in June, then with The Little Books in July. Rutenberg will also be involved in the Girls Rock Jacksonville camp later that month. If Rutenberg has a dark side, no one’s seen it; the mere thought gives one pause. The best advice would be not waking her in the morning, because the only people who hate mornings more than musicians are bartenders, and she’s both.  Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37


A&E // ARTS

The Playful Dali The daughter of the legendary artist’s publisher reminisces DALI: THE ARGILLET COLLECTION Curator Madame Christine Argillet appears at a reception 6-8 p.m. March 1 Avondale Artworks, 3562 St. Johns Ave., Avondale, 384-8797, avondaleartworks.com Exhibit is on display through March

T

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

o the world, Salvador Dali was a Spanish surrealist mastermind and misunderstood eccentric. To Madame Christine Argillet, he was more, an avuncular figure who loved pranks. From the time she was 8 until well into her teens, Argillet knew Dali like few others did. She remembers him working from the early mornings into the evening. She remembers his playfulness — how he’d send her on little errands around his labyrinthine house in Spain, where she spent many childhood summers. “Dali was a workaholic who would use any © 2013 tool around him to create,” Argillet says. “One time he was visiting us in our hotel and grabbed my mother’s lipstick to make a wonderful drawing. For a child, that was the beauty — if you have nothing, you can still create something.” Northeast Floridians have the chance to see Dali through Argillet’s eyes when she showcases Dali: The Argillet Collection — an exhibition of Dali’s etchings, Aubusson tapestries and watercolors — at Avondale Artworks. “I had the sense as a young child of the importance of Dali,” she says. “My father had an immense admiration for him not only as an artist, but as a man.” Argillet’s father, Frenchman Pierre Argillet, was a well-known publisher who worked with major artists of the Surrealism and Dadaism art movements. He was also Dali’s personal publisher and confidante for more than 50 years. Together, they created a body of etchings, original works and books appear in museums worldwide — what art historians regard as a phenomenal collection of the master’s art. Best known for his surrealist painting The Persistence of Memory, completed in 1931 and featuring watches melting on a barren landscape, Dali often used repetitive images such as spindly legged elephants, religious and social icons, naked women, butterflies, red roses and fruit. When Pierre Argillet died in 2001, he left Argillet and her brother hundreds of Dali’s original works, collected over five decades. The Argillet Estate chose 100 pieces (the lipstick drawing among them) that are not for sale. The rest are available. “We wanted this collection to be more known,” Argillet says. “This is a tribute to Dali and a tribute to our father. My father only acquired works from Dali that he loved. This is a reflection of that collaboration.”

DALI’S KEYS: Salvador Dali’s Flower Women with a Soft Piano (above) and Piano Under the Snow, Tapestry are among the featured pieces in Madame Christine Argillet’s collection, exhibiting at Avondale Artworks through March.

For more than a decade, Dali: The Argillet Collection has toured major American cities, and pieces have appeared in world-renowned venues, including Museum Boijmans Van Beuningen in Rotterdam and Moscow’s Pushkin Museum. The collection’s permanent homes are the Museum of Surrealism in Melun, France, and the Dali Museum in Figueres, Spain. The exhibit here includes works from Dali’s Suites including Mythologie, Les Hippies, Goethe’s Faust and Poemes Secrets — etchings and watercolors from 1934 to the late ’60s. There are also some Aubusson tapestries

created in 1973. Argillet opens the exhibit, which runs through March, at a reception on March 1, at which she’ll discuss the history of the collection, the friendship between her father and the artist, and how each series came about. “In this collection, you’ll see the different layers of Dali and his work,” says Argillet. “You’ll see the visibility and the understanding … how he looked into the core and made discoveries in the tiny things as well as in the large universe.”  Kara Pound mail@folioweekly.com


A&E // ARTS PERFORMANCE

I OUGHT TO BE IN PICTURES Neil Simon’s classic play about a Hollywood screenwriter, played by Richard Karn of Home Improvement, who has commitment issues when a daughter he didn’t know he had shows up with dreams of stardom, at 6 p.m. Feb. 26-March 16, (weekend matinees vary), at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38-$55, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. THE SUBJECT WAS ROSES Frank Gilroy’s drama, which won a Pulitzer, a Tony and a New York Drama Critics Circle award for best play, is about Timmy Cleary’s return from WWII to the Bronx in May 1946. It’s staged 7:30 p.m. Feb. 27 and March 6, 8 p.m. Feb. 28, March 1, 7 and 8, and 2 p.m. March 2 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, $25, 396-4425, theatrejax.com. CELTIC WOMAN Artist Series presents classic Irish tunes, pop anthems and inspirational songs, with the signature Celtic Woman sound, 8 p.m. Feb. 28 at the T-U Center, 300 Water St., Downtown, $50-$136, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org. RITZ JAZZ JAMM Guitarist Nick Colionne infuses jazz, funk, R&B and blues 7 and 10 p.m. March 1 at Ritz Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, $28-$35, 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com. JULIO IGLESIAS Two-time Guinness record-setting Latin artist Iglesias sings the hits from his 45-year career 7 p.m. March 2 at the T-U Center, 300 Water St., Downtown, $44$134, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org. FRANKIE VALLI & THE FOUR SEASONS Four Seasons (award-winning musical Jersey Boys is based on his life) performs 7:30 p.m. March 5 at the T-U Center, 300 Water St., Downtown, $42-$132, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org. THE MISS FIRECRACKER CONTEST Carnelle rehearses for Miss Firecracker – a win will salvage her tarnished rep. Her cousin Elaine, ex-Miss Firecracker, shows up. 7:30 p.m. March 6-30 (Sunday matinees available), on Limelight Theatre’s Matuza Main Stage, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $10-$25, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. CARMEN The Teatro Lirico D’Europa presents Carmen, a story of a soldier’s betrayal, jealously and metamorphosis as gypsy Carmen seduces him, 8 p.m. March 7 at the T-U Center, 300 Water St., Downtown, $44-$134, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD What they didn’t tell you in What to Expect When You’re Expecting. The comedy shatters traditional notions about parenthood and celebrates the humor and raw emotions on the rocky road of life, March 8-15 (evening performances at 7:30 p.m., Sunday matinees 2:30 p.m.) at Fernandina Little Theatre, 1014 Beech St., Fernandina Beach, $15-$16.50, ameliaflt.org. ORANGE PARK CHORALE The Chorale celebrates A Whole Lot of Years of Broadway, running the gamut of showtunes from Carousel to Guys and Dolls to Wicked, 7:30 p.m. March 14 at New Grace Church, 5804 Hwy. 17, Fleming Island and 3 p.m. March 16 at Riverside Presbyterian Church, 849 Park St., Downtown, free, 273-4279, orangeparkchorale.com.

COMEDY

STEVE LEMME & KEVIN HEFFERNAN Two guys from Broken Lizard comedy team, and stars of Super Troopers and Beerfest, perform comedy and play Broken Lizard Movie Trivia, 8 p.m. Feb. 27-March 1, 10 p.m. Feb. 28 and March 1, at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Mandarin, 292-4242, $18-$20 (plus tax), comedyzone.com. BRAD UPTON The 25-year comedy veteran appears 8 p.m. Feb. 27-March 1 and 10 p.m. March 1 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $6-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com. TOM DUSTIN Comedian Dustin appears at 8 p.m. Feb. 28-March 1 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, $10, 365-5555, latthirty.com. XXXTREME COMEDY HYPNOSIS Comedian-hypnotist Rich Guzzi gets audience members to do outlandish – sometimes lewd – acts onstage. Admission includes free copy of either The Ultimate Man or Dream Physique, Guzzi’s new CDs. 8 p.m. March 4 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Mandarin, 292-4242, $20, comedyzone.com. MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly improv shows based on audience suggestion are held 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

BORDERLESS CAPTIVITY Part of the ArtWorks for Freedom JAX series to raise awareness about human trafficking in America, indoor art exhibits are shown Feb. 26-28 at FSCJ’s Kent Campus, 401 W. State St., and at Jacksonville University Davis Student Commons, 2800 University Blvd., Arlington. ACTORS WORKSHOP AT ABET Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre holds an eight-week actor’s workshop, 6 p.m. every Sun., Feb. 26-April 13 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $160 (half at registration, half at first class plan available), 249-7177, abettheatre.com. LUMINOUS CHOREOGRAPHY MOSH After Dark presents a dance experience led by Flow Motion and the Light Evolution (LED) Dance Troupe, 6 p.m. Feb. 27 in Bryan-Gooding

Planetarium, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, $10, register at 396-6674, themosh.org. PSYCHOLOGY OF HUMAN TRAFFICKING Artworks for Freedom holds a two-day workshop on human trafficking, 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Feb. 27-28 at Jacksonville Children’s Commission, 1095 A.P. Randolph Blvd., $35, 598-0901, info@thevoiceforgirls.org. CONCERT ON THE GREEN POSTER CONTEST In celebration of America’s veterans, Concert on the Green accepts submissions for its poster contest themed Honoring Our Military with Art and Music. All public, private and home school students may enter. First and second place and People’s Choice winners from each grade category (K-3, 4-6, 7-8, 9-12) receive a scholarship or cash prize. Applications must be submitted at concertatthegreen.com and final entries delivered to Great Hang Ups Gallery, 1560 Business Center Dr., Fleming Island by Feb. 28. Winners selected on or before March 28. JUNIOR ROWITA FELLOWSHIP The St. Johns Cultural Council accepts applications for the 2014 Junior ROWITA Fellowships, available to all graduating St. Johns County high school girls (public, private, homeschooled) who’ve applied for or been accepted into a Bachelor of Fine Arts program of higher education. One fellowship each in literary, performance and visual arts. Applications must be sent by Feb. 28 to St. Johns Cultural Council, 15 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 808-7330, stjohnsculture.com. AUDITIONS AT OPCT Orange Park Community Theatre auditions singing roles for men and women ages 16 and older for Pirates of Penzance, 2 p.m. March 1 and 7 p.m. March 2 at the theater, 2900 Moody Ave., Orange Park, 276-2599, opct.org. WINE & TASTING FUNDRAISER Rotary Club of Amelia Island Sunrise presents its annual Amelia Island International Wine & Food Tasting featuring international wine, local craft beers and hors d’oeuvres; proceeds benefit Wolfson Children’s Hospital; 7:30 p.m. March 1 at Amelia Island Museum of History, 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, $65, 202-5122, register at ameliarotary.eventbrite.com. YOUNG ACTORS THEATRE Theatre Jacksonville holds a spring theater workshop for ages 7-17, featuring improv exercises, poetry study, monologue and scene work, starting March 3; $200 per eight-week session, Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 396-4425, theatrejax. com, education@theatrejax.com. ADULT ACTING CLASS Theatre Jacksonville holds spring workshops at beginner and advanced levels, starting March 9. Beginner’s course is 4 p.m. Sun.; advanced is 5:30 p.m. Sun. at 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, $180 per 8-week session, 396-4425, theatrejax.com.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

TRADITIONAL CHINESE ORCHESTRA The Qindao University Orchestra plays traditional Chinese instruments, 7:30 p.m. Feb. 26 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd., Arlington, $10, 256-7677, ju.edu. SYMPHONY 101: FABIO EXPLORES VERDI A lunch-andlearn on Verdi’s Requiem with Jacksonville Symphony Music Director Fabio Mechetti is followed by a rehearsal, 12:30 p.m. Feb. 26 at the T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, $15, jaxsymphony.org. VERDI’S REQUIEM The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra, Chorus and guest artists, including opera star Denyce Graves-Montgomery, perform under the direction of Music Director Fabio Mechetti, 7:30 p.m. Feb. 27 and 8 p.m. Feb. 28 and March 1 at the T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 Water St., Downtown, 354-5547, $25-$72, jaxsymphony.org. BEACH MEETS WEST Jazz artist John Pizzarelli and UNF Jazz Ensemble share the stage, as part of the Beaches Fine Arts Series, 7:30 p.m. March 7 at UNF’s Fine Arts Center, Robinson Theater, 11852 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-3835, unf.edu, beachesfinearts.org.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce are offered 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Feb. 28 and every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET RAM returns with local and regional art, food artists and vendors and a farmers market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. March 1 and every Sat. through Dec. 20 under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449 , riversideartsmarket.com. FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK An art walk, featuring 30-40 galleries, museums and businesses and spanning 15 blocks, is held 5-9 p.m. March 5 and every first Wed., Downtown, downtownjacksonville.org/marketing; iloveartwalk.com.

MUSEUMS

ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7371, arts.ju.edu. The permanent collection features carved ivory, Chinese porcelain, pre-Colombian artifacts and more. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTROY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. The exhibit “Don Bernardo de Gálvez y Madrid, Spanish Hero in the American

FREAKIN’ OUT, MAN: Kevin Heffernan (left) and Steve Lemme, stars of Super Troopers and Beerfest, drink up while playing Broken Lizard Movie Trivia, Feb. 27 through March 1 at The Comedy Zone in Mandarin. Revolution” is displayed through March 1. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, flagler.edu/crispellert. “The Object Tells a Story,” an exhibit of African-American folk art from Florida, runs through February. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Riverside, 356-6857, cummer.org. The artistic and devotional contexts of painting are explored through 21 works, 19 of which are borrowed from collections in the United States and Germany. “One Family: Photographs by Vardi Kahana,” an exhibit by the Israeli photographer detailing four generations of her family, is on display through April 27. Florida State University Professor William Walmsley displays his works through July 8. “The Human Figure: Sculptures by Enzo Torcoletti” is on display through September. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jaxfrm.html. “Mark Twain” includes original letters, writings and illustrations on exhibit through April 26. “New Works” features Joe Segal’s sculptural works through February. The permanent collection includes other rare manuscripts. LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 824-2874, lightnermuseum.org. The permanent collection features relics from America’s Gilded Age, exhibited on three floors. MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., Mandarin, 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net. Exhibits regarding Harriet Beecher Stowe and Civil War vessel Maple Leaf are on display, and works by Mandarin artists. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Ingrid Calame’s exhibit “Tarred Over Cracks” continues through March 9 as part of Project Atrium in Haskell Atrium Gallery. The exhibit “Material Transformations,” in which seven artists uncover symbolism through unconventional substances, runs through April 6. The UNF Gallery presents “Bede Clarke: Barbara Ritzman Devereux Visiting Artist Exhibition” through March 9. The Gold Key portfolio show features works by 15 winners of Northeast Florida Scholastic Art Awards show, through March. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. “Uncovering the Past: Archaeological Discoveries of North Florida” is on display through August. VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Dr., St. Augustine, 825-1000, staugustine-450.com/journey. “Journey: 450 years of the African-American Experience” is exhibited through July 15.

GALLERIES

ABSOLUTE AMERICANA ART GALLERY 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine, 824-5545, absoluteamericana.com. Romero Britto’s sculptures and limited-edition prints are featured. AMIRO ART & FOUND GALLERY 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, 824-8460, amiroartandfound.com. “heArt,” a collection of original works by local artists – jewelry, mosaics, pottery, paintings and more – runs through February. Sculptures by Alexander Wilds are on display. THE ART CENTER MAIN GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Downtown, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org/main.html. February’s featured artist is Annelies Dyksgraaf. “Valentines” artwork, paintings, pastels, sketches, photography are shown. THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org/premier-gallery. “A Celebration of Cultures” exhibit runs through March 6. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. Mermaid artwork is on

display in all media types by local artists including Linda Olsen, Mary Hubley, Tracy Womack, Pat Livesay and JoAnne Adams, through April 1. FSCJ NORTH CAMPUS ART GALLERY 4501 Capper Rd., Northside, 766-6785, fscj.edu. The exhibit “Talismans and Champa Temples of Vietnam” features rubbings and photos by James Kemp, through March 4. HASKELL GALLERY & DISPLAY CASES Jacksonville International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Rd., Northside, 741-3546. Paintings by Candace Fasano and Marie Shell, examining beauty in the natural world, are displayed through March 28 in Haskell Gallery before security. John Cheer’s decorative wall plates and sculpture, inspired by the sea’s energy and nature, are displayed through April 7 in Connector Bridge Art display case before security. Photographer John Adams’ “Evanescent Trawlers of the South” series examines the vessels from Southern harbors, displayed through April 4 in Concourse A and C display cases after security. HIGHWAY GALLERY floridamininggallery.com/exhibitions/ the-highway-gallery. Nine artists – Nathaniel Artkart Price, Ken Daga, Ashley C. Waldvogel, Brianna Angelakis, Christina Foard, Linda Olsen, Sara Pedigo, Zach Fitchner and Russell Maycumber – are featured on digital billboards throughout the city in collaboration with Clear Channel through July. LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY 1 UNF Dr., Student Union Bldg. 58E, Ste. 2401, Southside, 620-2475. Jacksonville native Elizabeth Brown Eagle’s exhibit, “Visions of Grace,” features mixed-media photo collages based on her experiences working with Samburu and Maasai tribes in Northeastern Kenya and the Xhosa people in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. The exhibit is displayed through March 21. PALENCIA FINE ARTS ACADEMY AND GALLERY 701 Market St., St. Augustine, 819-1584, palenciafineartsacademy.com. Stacie Hernandez’s show “Elements,” about the power of natural elements, runs through March 21. PINGLEHEAD BREWING COMPANY 14B Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 276-5159, pinglehead.com. Local artists can submit original works to “Local Motives – A Pop Up Art Show” by noon on March 6. PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY 94 Amelia Village Circle, Amelia Island, 432-1750, artamelia.com. Spanish oil paintings by Dionisio Rodriquez are exhibited through March 8. SAWGRASS VILLAGE ARTS GALLERY 1520 Sawgrass Village Dr., Ponte Vedra, 273-4925, villageartspvb.com. Impressionistic Florida Landscapes by Laurel Dagnillo are displayed through March 29. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310, staaa.org. The 90th anniversary juried exhibition presents newly acquired artwork including an unveiling of “Lost Colony,” runs through March 2. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, southlightgallery.com. First Wednesday Art Walk features local artists’ works on March 5. UNF ArtSpace exhibit featuring Ladnier Scholarship recipient Nina Avis, and runners-up Eman Abdulhalim and Jordyn Rector. Valentine-themed works by Michael Dunlap, Jane Shirek, Pam Zambetti and Taylor McDonald are featured through February. SPACE:EIGHT GALLERY 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838, spaceeight.com. Features lowbrow, pop surrealism, street and underground art by nationally and internationally acclaimed artists.  For a complete list of arts events, go to folioweekly.com/ calendar. To submit an arts-related event, email djohnson@ folioweekly.com. Deadline for print is 4 p.m. Mon., 10 days before publication.

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39


DINING DIRECTORY To have your restaurant listed, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor, 904.260.9770 ext. 111 staylor@folioweekly.com DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up  = Beer, Wine  = Full Bar C = Children’s Menu  = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner *Bite Club Certified! = Hosted a free Folio Weekly Bite Club tasting. Join at fwbiteclub.com. BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240. F Southwest madeto-order fresh: burritos, tacos, quesadillas, nachos. Handcrafted salsa: tomatoes, cilantro, onions, peppers. $$  C  L D Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$  C L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. 3rd St., 277-5269. F In historic building, family-owned spot has eclectic cuisine: homemade veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Inside or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub has beer brewed onsite. $$  C  L D Tue.-Sat.; L Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311. Authentic Italian fare in an upscale bistro: pizzas, pasta dishes, entrées, Italian wines. $$$  D Nightly DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049. In Historic District. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$  D Nightly HALFTIME SPORTS BAR & GRILL, 320 S. 8th St., 321-0303. Sports bar fare: onion rings, spring rolls, burgers, wraps, wings. $  L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Favorites: jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan, vegetarian selections. Dine inside or on the porch. $$  C B L D Daily LULU’S @ THOMPSON HOUSE, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394. F Creative lunch menu: po’boys, salads and seafood little plates served in a historic house. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp. Reservations recommended. $$$  C  R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400. F See Riverside. BOJ. $   L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141. Awarded Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$  B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. 8th St., 491-9815. Historic district. More than nuts; sweet & savory pastries, bagels, cookies, cakes, breads, cronuts, breakfast items. $ B L D Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132. Bite Club. Omni Amelia Island Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistro-style venue has an innovative menu: whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$  D Mon.-Sat. SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811. F Killer ICW sunset view from upstairs outdoor bar. T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, the original broiled cheese oysters. $$  C L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652. F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves award-winning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$  C L D Daily THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711. F Oceanview dining, inside or on the deck. New menu: Steaks, seafood, nightly specials, healthy options. $$   L D Daily TIMOTI’S FRY SHAK, 21 N. 3rd St., 310-6550. F Casual seafood spot has fresh, local wild-caught shrimp, fish, oysters, blackboard specials, seafood baskets. $  C L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $   B L Mon.-Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. F See San Marco. $$  C  L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd. F See Baymeadows. $ C  B L D Daily RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 1825 Univ. Blvd. N., 745-0335. F Cigar & hookah lounge, billiards tables, full kitchen, subs. 200+ imported, domestic beers. $  R Sat.-Sun.; D Nightly

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

ALE PIE HOUSE, 3951 St. Johns Ave., 503-8000. Pizza made your way, subs, paninis, calzone, stromboli, wraps, dinners. Gluten-free, vegan cheese available. $$  C  L D Daily BAGEL LOVE, 4114 Herschel St., Ste. 121, 634-7253 BOJ. Yankee-style bagels, sandwiches, wraps, soups, bakery items, fresh-squeezed OJ, coffee, smoothies, tea. Homecooked turkey, chicken, roast beef. Free Wi-Fi. Locally

40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

owned and operated. Outdoor patio dining. $ C B L Daily THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966. F BOJ. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge. Wi-Fi, bellydancers, hookahs. $$  L D Daily ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE, 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40, 388-4884. F Churrascaria’s gauchos carve the meat to your plate from serving tables. $$$  D Tue.-Sun. FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Premium ice cream, fresh waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in Florida-centric décor. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ C  L Mon.-Sat. THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 3872669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare, homemade desserts. Breakfast all day. Burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$  C L D Daily GREEN MAN GOURMET, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 384-0002. F Organic/natural products, spices, teas, salts. $  Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 4530 St. Johns Ave., 388-8828. F See San Marco. $$  C  L D Daily LET THEM EAT CAKE! 3604 St. Johns, Ste. 2, 389-2122. Artisan bakery. Coffee, croissants, muffins, cupcakes, pastries, desserts. Cakes made-to-order. $  Tue.-Sat. MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. Southern blues kitchen. Pulled pork, Carolina barbecue, chicken-fried steak, Delta fried catfish, hummus, shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. $$  C  B L D Daily SAKE HOUSE #5 JAPANESE GRILL SUSHI BAR, 3620 St. Johns Ave., 388-5688. F See Riverside. $$  L D Daily SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., Ortega, 387-1000. F Down-home cooking from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, fried chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings. BYOB. $$ C  L D Mon.-Sat. TERRA, 4260 Herschel St., 388-9124. Local, sustainable creative world cuisine. Small plates: pork belly skewers, chorizo stuffed mushrooms; entrées: lamb chops, seared tuna, ribeye. Craft beers, onsite organic garden. $$  D Mon.-Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., 731-4300. F BOJ. See Beaches. $  C  L D Daily BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA, 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3, 519-8000. F Family-owned&-operated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, strombolis, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs, desserts. Delivery. $$  C  L D Daily INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$   L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8206 Philips Hwy., 732-9433. F See San Marco. $$  C  L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F Piles ’em high, serves ’em fast. Natural meats, cheeses are hormone-, antibiotic- and gluten-free; rolls are gluten-free. $ C  B L D Daily MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN LEBANESE CUISINE, 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd., 646-1881. F Bite Club. Authentic Lebanese cuisine, charcoal-grilled lamb kebab. Bellydancing Fri.-Sat. Outdoor seating. $$   L D Tue.-Sun. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506. F Authentic, family-owned since 1990, Thai restaurant. Extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai includes curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Low-sodium, gluten-free dishes, too. $$$   L D Tue.-Sun. PIZZA PALACE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 527-8649. F See San Marco. $$  C  L D Daily STICKY FINGERS, 8129 Point Meadows Way, 493-7427. F Memphis-style rib house slow-smokes meats over hickory. Award-winning ribs, barbecue, rotisserie chicken, signature sauces. Screened patio. $$  C  L D Daily

BEACHES

(Locations are Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002. F BOJ. 20+ years, seven locations. New York-style & gourmet pizzas. $  C  L D Daily BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444. F Proprietors are from Thailand; dishes made with fresh ingredients from tried-and-true recipes. $$   L D Daily CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA, 127 1st Ave. N., 249-3322. F Chili rellenos, tamales, fajitas, enchiladas, fish tacos, fried ice cream, margaritas. $$  C D Nightly CASA MARIA, 2429 S. 3rd St., 372-9000. F See Springfield. $  C L D Daily CULHANE’S IRISH PUBLIC HOUSE, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595. Bite Club. Irish pub run by County Limerick sisters. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastro pub menu. $$  C R Sat. & Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. ENGINE 15 BREWING CO., 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337. F  BOJ. Gastropub fare: soups, salads, flatbreads, specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Craft beers. $  C L D Daily GREGORY PAUL’S, 215 4th Ave. S., 372-4367. Greg Rider offers freshly prepared meals, catering. $$  Mon.-Fri. LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 3rd St. N., 246-6024.

HE’S NO. 1: A 2013 Best of Jax winner for Best Chef in our readers’ poll, Chef Mas Liu of Pacific Asian Bistro in Palencia, St. Augustine, offers a sushi creation of sea urchin and salmon. Photo: Dennis Ho F Locally owned & operated. Fresh, right-off-the-boat local seafood, fish tacos, houseground burgers, wings, handcut fries, tater tots; daily specials. $$  C L D Daily; R Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1222 3rd St. S., 372-4495. F See San Marco. $$  C  L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 N. 3rd St., 247-9620. F See Baymeadows. $ C  B L D Daily LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 1st St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-2922. F Beaches landmark. Locally roasted coffee, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Indoors or out; patio, courtyard. $$   B L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-2599. F BOJ. Medure Bros. offer burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Indoors or out. $$  L D Daily MARLIN MOON GRILLE, 1183 Beach Blvd., 372-4438. F Sportfishing-themed casual spot. Fresh crab cakes, burgers, daily specials, craft beers, Orange Crushes, freshcut fries. $$  C  R Sun.; D Wed.-Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 3rd St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600. F Bite Club. BOJ. Funky spot serves gourmet pizzas, hoagies, salads. Pies range from Mighty Meaty to vegetarian like Kosmic Karma. $  C  L D Daily MEZZA LUNA PIZZERIA RISTORANTE, 110 1st St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-5573. F Bistro fare (20+ years), gourmet wood-fired pizzas, herb-crusted mahi mahi. Indoors, patio. $$$  C D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. F BOJ. Funky Southern blues kitchen. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, chicken-fried steak, Delta fried catfish. $$  C  B L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105. Bite Club. Veal osso buco, calypso crusted mahi mahi with plantain chips. $$$  C L D Daily POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 2417637. F American gastropub. Gourmet burgers, fish tacos, handcut fries, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$  C L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 F 30+ years. Popular seafood place has lots of Best of Jax readers poll awards. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. $$  L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 592 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 273-3113. F See Mandarin. $$  C  L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 1018 3rd St. N., 372-4456. F BOJ. Signature tuna poke bowl, fresh sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp. Open-air space. $$  C  L D Daily SHIM SHAM ROOM, 333 1st St. N., Ste. 150, 372-0781. F BOJ. Seasonal menu of “cheap eats”: bar bites, chicken & waffles, badass fries, tacos. $$  D Nightly WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1585 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508. F Casual sports spot serves burgers, wings, fish tacos in a chill atmosphere. $  C  L D Daily

DOWNTOWN

AVOCADOS, 311 W. Ashley St., Ste. 1, 683-9947. Mac & cheese, Southwestern wrap, French dip. Fresh ingredients, cooked to order. $  B L D Mon.-Sat. CAFÉ NOLA @ MOCAJAX, 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911. Museum of Contemporary Art. Shrimp & grits, sandwiches, fish tacos, desserts. $$  L Mon.-Fri.; D Thur. & ArtWalk CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Owner/chef Sam Hamidi serving Italian fare 35+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $$  C L D Mon.-Sat. CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Chefinspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi, barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Fri. & Sat.

DE REAL TING CAFÉ, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738. F Caribbean spot features jerk or curried chicken, conch fritters, curried goat, oxtail. $   L Tue.-Fri.; D Fri.-Sat. FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Ste. 176, Jax Landing, 374-1547. F BOJ. Fish & chips, black-andtan brownies, Guinness lamb stew. $$  C L D Daily ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283. F American & Mediterranean fare, casual spot. Panini, vegetarian dishes, daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. $  L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

BRICK OVEN PIZZERIA & GASTROPUB, 1811 Town Center Blvd., 278-1770. F Family-owned-and-operated; offers freshly made brick-oven pizzas, specialty burgers, melts, wraps, craft beers. Gluten-free items. $$  C  L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100, 215-2223. F See San Marco. $$  C  L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F See Beaches. Bite Club. BOJ. $  C  L D Daily MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$  C  B L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater catfish, traditional meals, daily specials on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. $  C  L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771. F Bite Club. Fast, casual pizza concept: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses and 40+ toppings to create your own pizza pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$  C  L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2013 BOJ. See Beaches. $  C  L D Daily CASTILLO DE MEXICO, 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 19, 998-7006. F 15+ years. Extensive menu served in authentic Mexican décor. Weekday lunch buffet. $$  L D Daily EPIK BURGER, 12740 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 105, 374-7326. F 34+ burgers of grass-fed beef, ahi tuna, all-natural chicken; vegan items; gluten-free options. $  L D Mon.-Sat. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN, 14333 Beach Blvd., 992-1666. F See San Marco. $$  C  L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 642-6980. F See Baymeadows. $ C  B L D Daily MAHARLIKA HALL & SPORTS GRILL, 14255 Beach Blvd., Ste. E, 699-0759. Filipino-Am restaurant/market. Pancit bami, lumpia, turon strudle, halo halo. $-$$  C R L D Daily MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT, 13546 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1A, 821-9880. See St. Johns Town Center. $  Daily TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999. F Locally-owned-&-operated grill. Handtossed pizzas, wings, wraps. $$  L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

JULINGTON CREEK

PIZZA PALACE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-2171. F See San Marco. $$  C  L D Daily SAUCY TACO, 450 S.R. 13 N., Ste. 113, 287-8226. F Light Mexican, American influences. 40 beers on draft. $$  C  B, Sat.-Sun.; L D Daily

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F BOJ. See Beaches. $  C  L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$  L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BRAZILIAN JAX CAFE, 9825 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 20, 880-3313. F Steaks, sausages, chicken, burgers, fish, hot sandwiches, fresh ingredients. $$  B L D Mon.-Sat.


BITE-SIZED

ADVERTISING PRO The stick-to-your-ribs Zha Jiang Mian is a traditional Chinese dish – blanched noodles, ground chicken, yow chow, spicy red peppers, cucumbers and a slightly sweet sauce.  Photos: Caron Streibich

Chopstick Fever

A new 5 Points eatery touts Asian street eats galore

PROMISE OF BENEFIT

HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE Park Street, 508-0342, facebook.com/hawkersstreetfare

I

s it considered an obsession if you’ve eaten at a place five times the first two weeks it’s open for business? If so, consider me obsessed with Hawkers. First, the menu. Part infographic (so that’s how I hold my chopsticks!), part design masterpiece, there’s an abundance of mouthwatering options, and that’s because Hawkers serves up street food from China, Vietnam, Thailand, Korea, Japan and Malaysia. (The food is so good, I temporarily forget I’m in 5 Points.) I can’t say enough about the atmosphere: Huge windows open to unveil an entirely open façade. Large upside-down wok-like pans serve as light fixtures and hang from an exposed wood beam ceiling. An old upcycled wooden palette with chalkboard paint serves as the craft beer list. Hawkers is thoroughly modern, comfortable and hip. The food speaks for itself. I can’t think of any comparable places in town that have such a culturally diverse menu with such reasonable prices. Start with the roti canai, a Malaysian flat bread ($3) that I can best describe as fluffy Indian naan meets the airiness of a French crêpe. It’s served with a cup of delightfully spicy curry dipping sauce. Another standout is the crispy roasted pork “siu yoke” ($6), or pork belly, served with a thick hoisin dipping sauce and garnished with scallions. Items are intended to be shared, even the soups. You’ll receive a large bowl, two smaller cups and a giant ladle. The tom yum soup ($8.50) touts a spicy lemongrass broth that’s loaded with flat rice noodles, shrimp, bean sprouts, basil, straw mushrooms, tomatoes and cucumbers. It’s great on a chilly day and leaves you feeling warm inside. I preferred the stir-fry noodle dishes to the rice bowls. Hawkers’ stir-fry udon noodles ($8), with eggs, scallions, onions, bean sprouts and carrots, and chicken pad

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Sa

Thai ($8) earn my top honors. Runner-up? The Zha Jiang Mian ($7.50), a traditional Chinese dish with blanched noodles, ground chicken, yow chow (a leafy green similar to bok choy), spicy red peppers, cucumbers and a slightly sweet sauce. It’s stick-to-your-ribs filling, too. Skip the spring rolls (good but nothing special), basil fried rice (seemed to need a few dashes of salt?) and edamame (go for something more exciting). Do, however, set aside room for the Royal Pairing, a unique dessert that’s part mangosteen and part durian fruit, or the trio of tea-based crème brûlées — Thai tea, Malaysian milk tea and green tea — served with crunchy biscuit-like dipping cookies. Hawkers is open daily for lunch and dinner. There’s also a separate kitchen devoted to take-out orders (rumor has it that they’ll soon offer delivery, too). The staff is incredibly knowledgeable and authentic — everyone seems genuinely passionate about being there, and about the food, which makes it that much harder to stay away.  Caron Streibich biteclub@folioweekly.com facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized

Two fruits – mangosteen and durian – collide in this unique Royal Pairing dessert offering.

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 41

© 2014


GRILL ME!

DINING DIRECTORY A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ

NAME: Rodney Geiger RESTAURANT: O’Brothers Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret St., Riverside BIRTHPLACE: Haines City, Fla. YEARS IN THE BIZ: 20 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Whitey’s Fish Camp, Fleming Island FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: French, Southwestern FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Carrots, celery, onions, thyme IDEAL MEAL: All the food groups in one, like a mean stew or soup! WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Fast food NOTABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: Our St. Patty’s Day block party INSIDER’S SECRET: Use fresh ingredients. CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Wayne & Delores Weaver CULINARY TREAT: Guinness soda bread

BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. F Brooklyn Special Pizza is a fave. Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$   L D Daily GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300. F Prime rib & crab leg buffet Fri.-Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily breakfast, lunch, dinner buffets. $$$  B R L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F See San Marco. $$  C  L D Daily LARRY’S, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F See Baymeadows. $ C  B L D Daily KAZU JAPANESE RESTAURANT, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903. 17+ years of sushi skills. Uni, toro, Jaguar, Florida sunrise, spectrum, rock shrimp tempura, jalapeño shrimp. $$  L D Daily RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing Dr., 262-4030. See Arlington. $  R Sat.-Sun.; D Nightly RENNA’S PIZZA, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 292-2300. F Casual New York-style pizzeria. Calzones, antipasto, parmigiana, homemade breads. $$  C  L D Daily

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007. F Familyowned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizza. $$  C  L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959. Upscale restaurant. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup. Homemade desserts. $$$  D Tue.-Sat. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1930 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F See San Marco. $$  C  L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 700 Blanding, Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 1330 Blanding, 276-7370. 1404 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789. F See Baymeadows. $ C  B L D Daily PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR & GRILL, 2620 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 17, Middleburg, 282-1564. F Neighborhood sportsbar. Familiar fare, spirits. $$  C  L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 6001 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 16, 771-7677. F See Mandarin. $$  C  L D Daily TED’S MONTANA GRILL, 8635 Blanding Blvd., 771-1964. See St. Johns Town Center. $$$  C L D Daily THAI GARDEN, 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. B, 272-8434. Pad kraw powh, roasted duck, kaeng kari. Fine wines, imported, domestic beers. $$  L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly

PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS

ALICE & PETE’S PUB, 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Sawgrass Marriott, 285-7777. Dominican black bean soup, Pete’s Designer club sandwich. Outside dining. $$$  L D Daily AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F BOJ. See Beaches. $  C  L D Daily JJ’S LIBERTY BISTRO, 330 A1A N., Ste. 209, 273-7980. Traditional French cuisine: escargot, paté, steak frites, crêpes. Specials, pastries; French wines. $ $  L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F See Baymeadows. $ C  B L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797. Dishes with international flavors. Small plates. $$$  D Mon.-Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515. Upscale, casual. Sandwiches, flatbreads, burgers, entrées. $$$  L D Daily

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ. See Beaches. $  C  L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1-2, 855-1181. F BOJ. Small-batch, artisanal approach to roasting coffee. Organic, fair trade. $   B L Daily GINA’S DELICATESSEN, 1325 Cassat Ave., 353-9903. In Duval Honda showroom. Mediterranean-style sandwiches. Nawleansstyle beignets, café au lait with chicory. $  B L Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET 2007 Park St., 384-4474. F BOJ. Juice bar has cer tified organic fruit, vegetables. Artisanal cheese, 300+ craft/import beer, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, wraps, raw, vegan. $   B L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7859 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 8102 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 1, 779-1933. F See Baymeadows. $ C  B L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray

42 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

SAN JOSE, LAKEWOOD

EMPEROR’S GENTLEMAN’S CLUB 4923 University Blvd. W., Lakewood, 739-6966. Upscale steakhouse features steaks, burgers, seafood and wings. $$  L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., Lakewood, 636-8688. F New upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ C L D Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$  C  B L D Daily URBAN ORGANICS, 5325 Fairmont St., Spring Park, 398-8012. Weekly coop every Monday that offers local, fresh fruits and vegetables in bags of 10, 20 or 30 pounds.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK, ST. NICHOLAS

Hill, 389-4442. F Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $   L D Mon.-Sat. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434. Ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas, gouda quesadillas, chicken enchiladas. Indoor, patio. $$  C L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300. F Traditional Irish: shepherd’s pie, Scotch eggs, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio. $$  C  L D Daily SAKE HOUSE #1 JAPANESE GRILL SUSHI BAR, 824 Lomax St., 301-1188. F Traditional Japanese cuisine, fresh sushi, sashimi, kiatsu, teriyaki, hibachi in an authentic atmosphere. Sake. A real tatami room; outside seating. $$  L D Daily SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0049. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition Ale Works), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$  Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888. F Sushi rolls: Monster, Jimmy Smith, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Patio. $$  L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ. See Beaches. $  C  L D Daily BACK 40 URBAN CAFÉ, 40 S. Dixie Hwy., 824-0227. F Caribbean-flavored wraps, upside-down chicken potpie, local seafood. Wi-Fi. $  C L Sun.; L D Mon.-Sat. CARMELO’S MARKETPLACE & PIZZERIA, 146 King St., 494-6658. F New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats, cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$   L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655. Updated Southern. Fresh, local ingredients from area farms. Glutenfree, vegetarian. Fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish, shrimp & grits. $$$  C  L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., Anastasia Island, 824-8244. F 25+ years; menu changes daily. Gypsy chicken, seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$  R Sun.; L D Daily THE HYPPO, 15 Hypolita St., 217-7853 (popsicles only). 1765 Tree Blvd., Ste. 5, 342-7816. F Popsicles, coffee pourovers, cold-brew coffees. Handcrafted sandwiches. $  Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F See Beaches. Bite Club. BOJ. $  C  L D Daily MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$  C  B L D Daily THE ORIGINAL CAFÉ ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311. F Coffee drinks, vegetarian meals, Southern comfort dishes. $  B L D Daily PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., 305-2515. F BOJ. Chef Mas creates 30+ unique sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. $$  L D Daily

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466. Classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, flatbreads. Indoors, patio. $$$  C R L D Daily BRIO TUSCAN GRILLE, 4910 Big Island Dr., 807-9960. Upscale Northern Italian. Wood-grilled, oven-roasted steaks, chops, seafood. Indoors or al fresco on the terrace. $$$  C  R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$  L D Daily MY MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT, 4860 Big Island Dr., Ste. 2, 807-9292. Non-fat, low-calorie, cholesterol-free frozen yogurts. 40+ toppings. $  Daily OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730. BOJ. Tapas, small plates of Spanish, Italian flavors: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese, lobster ravioli. 240-bottle wine list, 75 by the glass; craft spirits. $$  R, Sun.; D Nightly RENNA’S PIZZA, 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, 565-1299. F See Mandarin. $$  C  L D Daily SEASONS OF JAPAN, 4413 Town Center Pkwy., 329-1067. Casual-style restaurant serves Japanese and hibachi-style fare, sushi, quick-as-a-wink. $$ C  L D Daily TED’S MONTANA GRILL, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 9980010. Modern classic comfort food. Bison, signature steaks, gourmet burgers. Crab cakes, cedar-plank salmon, desserts, private label Bison Ridge wines. $$$  C  L D Daily

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190. F Pad Thai, curries, sushi, served in a relaxing environment. Dine indoors or on the patio. $$  L D Mon.-Fri., D Sat. PIZZA PALACE 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F Family-owned. Homestyle cuisine: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones. Ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Outside dining. $$  C  L D Daily THE GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. Varied tapas menu of artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschettas, homestyle cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$  Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1631 Hendricks Ave., 399-1768. F Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. Some La Nops offer a full bar. $$  C  L D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922. Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, European-style atmosphere. Artfully presented cuisine, small plates, e xtensive martini/ wine lists. Reservations. $$$$  D Mon.-Sat. PULP, 1962 San Marco Blvd., 396-9222. Juice bar has fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees made one cup at a time. 30 smoothies, some blended with fl avored soy milks, organic frozen yogurts, granola. $  B L D Daily SAKE HOUSE #2 JAPANESE GRILL SUSHI BAR, 1478 Riverplace Blvd., 306-2188. F See Riverside. $$  L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE

360° GRILLE IN LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555. F Familiar sportsbar favorites: seafood, steaks, sandwiches, burgers, chicken, pasta, pizza. Inside, patio. $$   L D Daily ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212. Longest running dinner theater features Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s menus coordinated with stage productions. Reservations suggested. $$  D Tue.-Sun. BUCA DI BEPPO, 10334 Southside Blvd., 363-9090. Fresh Italian: lasagna, garlic mashed potatoes; 3 portion sizes (half-pound meatballs!); family-style. $$$  C  L D Daily CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd., 619-8186. F See Springfield. $  C L D Daily FARAH’S PITA STOP CAFÉ, 3980 Southside Blvd., Ste. 201, 928-4322. Middle Eastern sandwiches, entrées, desserts, pastries, mazas (appetizers). $  C B L D Mon.-Sat. JJ’s BISTRO DE PARIS, 7643 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 105, 996-7557. Authentic French cuisine. Scratch kitchen: soups, stocks, sauces, pastries. $$  C L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F See Baymeadows. BOJ. $ C  B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F See Beaches. Bite Club. BOJ. $  C  L D Daily OISHII, 4375 Southside Blvd., Ste. 4, 928-3223. Japanese fusion cuisine: fresh, high-grade sushi, lunch specials, hibachi. $$  C  L D Daily SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Pkwy. N., 997-1999. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas, freshly brewed ales, lagers. Inside, outdoors. $$  L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426. Bite Club. BOJ. Greek spot. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, traditional wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$  C L D Daily TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999. F New York-style thin crust, brick-ovencooked pizzas – gluten-free; calzones, sandwiches fresh to order, Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$   L D Mon.-Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F Family-owned-and-operated. Authentic Mexican: fajitas, seafood, hot sauces, tacos de asada. $  C L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. F See Baymeadows. $ C  B L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 117, 714-9210. F See Mandarin. $$  C  L D Daily SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404. F Low Country Southern fare, twist of Mediterranean and French at Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, New York strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. Rainforest Lounge. $$$  C B L D Daily STICKY FINGERS, 13150 City Station Dr., 309-7427. F See Baymeadows. $$  C  L D Daily 


ASTROLOGY

North West’s Brows, Hockey Pucks & Yella Snow ARIES (March 21-April 19): The battles you’ve been waging these last 10 months have been worthy of you. They’ve tested your mettle and grown your courage, but I suspect your relationship with them is due for a shift. In the future they may not serve you as well as they have. At the very least, you’ll need to alter your strategy and tactics. Now’s the time to leave them behind entirely, to search for a new cause to activate the next phase of your evolution as an enlightened warrior. What do you think? TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Life is like Sanskrit read to a pony,” said Lou Reed. That may be an accurate assessment for most people much of the time, but I don’t think it will be true for you in the days ahead. You’ll have a special capacity to make contact and establish connection. You’ve heard of dog whisperers and ghost whisperers? You’ll be like an all-purpose, jack-of-all-trades whisperer, able to commune and communicate with nervous creatures and alien life forms and most everything else. If anyone can get a pony to understand Sanskrit, it’s you. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Does Kim Kardashian tweak and groom her baby daughter’s eyebrows? They look amazing – elegant, neat, perfectly shaped. What do you think? HA! Just messing with you, checking to see if you’re susceptible to getting distracted by meaningless fluff like celebs kids’ grooming habits. The cosmic truth of the matter is, you should be laser-focused on epic possibilities your destiny is bringing to your attention. It’s time to reframe your life story. How? See yourself as being on a mythic quest to discover and fully express your soul’s code. CANCER (June 21-July 22): 19th-century American folk hero Wild Bill Hickok was born James Butler Hickok. At various times, he was a scout for the Army, a lawman in violent frontier towns, a professional gambler and a performer in Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show. Women thought him charismatic; he killed an attacking bear with a knife. His brother Lorenzo came to be known as Tame Bill Hickok. In contrast to Wild Bill, Tame Bill was quiet, gentle and cautious, living an uneventful life as a wagonmaster, and children loved him. Right now, I’m meditating how I’d like to see your inner Wild Bill come out to play, even as your inner Tame Bill takes some time off. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “If I was a love poet,” writes Rudy Francisco, addressing a lover, “I’d write about how you have the audacity to be beautiful even on days when everything around you is ugly.” You have that kind of audacity right now. In fact, I bet the ugliness you encounter actually incites you to amplify the gorgeous charisma you’re radiating. The sheer volume of lyrical soulfulness pouring from you has so much healing power, you may make ugly stuff less ugly. You’ll lift up everything you touch, nudging it toward grace, elegance and charm. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take,” says hockey great Wayne Gretzky. In other words, don’t be timid about shooting the puck toward the goal. Don’t worry if you have enough skill, confidence or luck. Just take the damn shot. You’ll never score if you don’t shoot … or so the theory goes. But an event in a recent pro hockey game showed there’s an exception to the rule. New York player Chris Kreider was guiding the puck with his stick as he skated toward the Minnesota team’s goalie. When Kreider cocked and swung his stick, he missed the puck entirely. He whiffed. And yet the puck kept sliding slowly along all by itself. It somehow flummoxed the goalie, sneaking past him right into the net. Goal! New rule: You miss only 99.9 percent of the shots you don’t take. You soon benefit from this loophole.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you’re the type of person who wears gloves when you throw snowballs, some Germans would call you Handschuhschneeballwerfer. They use the same word as slang to mean “coward,” like we use “yella.” I hope in the days ahead you don’t display any behavior to justify being called Handschuhschneeballwerfer. Bring a raw, direct, straightforward attitude to everything PROMISE OF BENEFIT you do. You shouldn’t rely on any buffers, surrogates or intermediaries. Metaphorically speaking, you should make sure nothing comes between your bare hands and the pure snow.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In his song “4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy),” Bruce Springsteen mentions a disappointing development. “That waitress I was seeing lost her desire for me,” he sings. “She said she won’t set herself on fire for me anymore.” I assume nothing like that has happened to you recently. Just the opposite: I bet there are attractive creatures out there who’d set themselves on fire for you. If this isn’t true, fix the problem! You have a cosmic mandate to be incomparably irresistible. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Some people say home is where you come from,” says a character in Katie Kacvinsky’s novel Awaken. “But I think it’s a place you need to find, like it’s scattered and you pick pieces of it up along the way.” Act on that notion in the weeks ahead. Now is an excellent time to discover more about where you belong and who you belong with. The best way to do that? Be aggressive as you search far and wide for clues, even in seemingly unlikely places you’d never guess contain scraps of home. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): What words bring the most points in the game of Scrabble? Expert Christopher Swenson says that among the top scorers are “piezoelectrical” and “ubiquitarianism” – assuming favorable placements on the board that bring double letter and triple word scores. The first word can potentially net 1,107 points, and the second 1,053. There are metaphorical clues how you might achieve maximum success in the next phase of the game of life. Be well-informed about the rules, including unusual corollaries and loopholes. Be ready to call on expert help and specialized knowledge. Assume your luck will be greatest if you’re willing to plan nonstandard gambits and try bold tricks. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I’m so sorry to report that you won’t win the lottery this week. It’s also unlikely you’ll score an unrecognized Rembrandt painting for a few dollars at a thrift store or that you’ll discover you’ve inherited a chinchilla farm in rural Peru or stumble upon a big stash of gold coins halfburied in the woods. On the other hand, you may get provocative clues about new ways to increase your cash flow. To ensure that you notice these clues when they appear, you should drop your expectations about where they might come from. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Avery, a character in Anne Michaels’ novel The Winter Vault, has a unique way of seeing. When he arrives in a place for the first time, he “makes room for it in his heart.” He “lets himself be altered” by it. At one point in the story, he visits an old Nubian city in Egypt and is overwhelmed by its exotic beauty. Its brightly colored houses are like “shouts of joy,” like “gardens springing up in the sand after a rainfall.” After drinking in the sights, he marvels, “It will take all my life to learn what I have seen today.” All that is akin to experiences you could have in the weeks ahead. Can you make room in your heart for the dazzle?  Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

© 2013

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 43


I SWEAR I’M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! That’s the only line I could think of at the time to talk to you. We chatted and joked for a few, then I got dragged off by my friends and lost you. Me: Red hair, black mini, knee-high boots. You: Short brown hair, looking dapper. See you there again? When: Feb. 14. Where: Eclipse. #1337-0226 ASKED TO READ MY MIND For two years, I’ve thought about you every day and dreamed about you every night! You: Curious & Disturbed. Me: Glasses. When: Every day. Where: The neighborhood. #1336-0226 POWERHOUSE HOTTIE I remember how rough your hand felt on mine as we reached for the same 15-pound dumbbell. I recommended lifting gloves to help keep your hands soft. You liked my Magnum PI-style moustache. You said you may try to grow one. Let’s get together and watch “Silence of the Lambs.” When: Feb. 2. Where: Powerhouse Gym. #1335-0212 YOU’VE GOT MAIL We were both at the library to check our emails. You must be “without home” like me. Your blonde unkempt hair was appealing. You caught my good eye when you walked in. I’d love to have a cup of recycled coffee with you some day. I’m available 24/7. When: Feb. 3. Where: Public Library. #1334-0212 SHARK TEETH & T&A You: At the end of the bar with your braid just lying on your chest. I bought you and your friends a shot but I really just wanted to buy you one. Round two? When: Feb. 5. Where: Flying Iguana. #1333-0212 FROZEN FOODS HOTTIE You: Green pants, white shirt, brown boots, beautiful black hair. Me: Tall, slim, blue shirt, curly Afro. I see you in the frozen foods section on your lunch hour sometimes. You look like you just know how to own life. Teach me how? When: Jan. 22. Where: Winn-Dixie, Edgewood & Commonwealth. #1332-0212 BEAUTIFUL LADY IN BROWN HAT ISU at Bonefish Grill having drinks with a girlfriend and we made eye-to-eye contact numerous times. You wore a large rimmed brown hat and a long plaid skirt. I had on a gold shirt with a green vest. Would love to have dinner together at Bonefish. Hope to hear from you. When: Jan. 28. Where: Bonefish Grill. #1331-0205 NEED A BRUSH Saw you at Bento. You were confidently comfortable in your underarmor and ruffled hair. You paid for my shrimp tempura. Meet me under the two paintings Feb. 14 at 11 p.m. When: Feb. 1. Where: Bento. #1330-0205 WE LOCKED EYES You parked grey pickup by Walgreen’s. Walked by, looked; we locked eyes. I drove metallic SUV. We spoke, flirted, smiled. You left, I went behind Walgreens. You still there; locked eyes again. Still looking, you drove off. We honked horns. Me: Black female. You: White male. Let’s see where it goes. When: 3 p.m. Dec. 22. Where: Walgreen’s parking lot, Normandy. #1329-0129 ADVENTURE LANDING BASKETBALL DAD You: Handsome dad of teen shooting hoops near the snack area. Me: Mom of birthday boy. Lots of eye contact. Hoping for more! When: Jan. 17. Where: Adventure Landing/ Blanding Blvd. #1328-0129

44 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

IN LINE AT WALGREENS You: Tall, handsome, beard, shopping with young daughter. Me: Blue-eyed brunette, ponytails, ballcap, black workout gear behind you in line. We made eye contact. Hope it was your daughter’s presence, not my lack of makeup, that kept you from saying, “Hi.” When: Jan. 18. Where: Walgreens @ C.R. 210 & C.R. 2209. #1327-0122 BRIGHT YELLOW HEELS You: Tall brunette at Target on San Jose/295 on 19 Jan.; short black dress, black tights. Your bright yellow heels caught my eye. You checked out faster than I did; I couldn’t catch up in the parking lot. Me: Tall, in a blue hat. We made eye contact right before you checked out. When: Jan. 19. Where: Target on San Jose/295. #1326-0122 RED DRESS BISTRO AIX Me: Awesome. You: Decent, in a red dress. Called you a name starting with “J.” You left. Let’s do it again. When: January 11. Where: Bistro Aix. #1325-0115 DOES THE BODY GOOD You in your sexy black uniform. Me in my Green Bay shirt. I want to work you out sometime. Please? When: Jan. 5. Where: Lynch’s Irish Pub. #1324-0108 SEXY SHOES AT PUBLIX You: Super classy blonde waiting at pharmacy. Me: Tall guy feeling electricity between us! I had to wait and had a seat. You were leaving and walked my way smiled and said “good luck”. I said “nice shoes” and then enjoyed the view as you walked away. Let’s talk! When: Dec. 29, 2013. Where: Publix @ University Blvd. #1323-0108 YOU FOLLOWED ME OUTSIDE Me: Girl by myself. You: With friends dancing. You offered to buy me drink, I was drinking water, you followed me outside and asked for my #, I told you I was leaving for VA Monday. Should have given you my #, don’t want to start the New Year by being afraid. I’m in Daytona for a month. When: Dec. 27, 2013. Where: Ragtime. #1322-0108 WATCHING THE STEERS GAME Your legs blew me away from Jags during season’s last week. Me: black pullover, black pants, bald. You can get me in shape for any kind of marathon. SWM Southside, enjoy sports, cooking, walking the beach. Rest you legs on my lap anytime, as we sit by candlelight and watch NYE ball drop. Happy New Year! When: Dec. 29. Where: Mudville Grille @ St. Nicholas. #1321-0108 BLACK CROWES BEAUTY You: Brown-eyed, dark-haired American Indian-looking goddess. Me: Tall, dark, brooding musician. Talked after the show. You admired my Crowes tat, I admired your cheekbones. Best dancer in venue, and kind conversationalist. Shared tequila after the show. Heard you’re single. Let’s get together. When: Oct. 7. Where: St. Augustine. #1320-1218 DURING JAGUARS 3RD WIN IN 11 DAYS! You: orange shirt, being a good dad taking your son to the game. Me: waiting on ramp. We had INTENSE eye contact, but could only chat for a minute. Have any kid-free time coming up? When: Dec. 5. Where: Jags Game. #1319-1218 MARGARITA MADNESS! Are YOU the guy at La Nopalera Third Street months ago? You nearly fell off the stool when I asked if you were just passing through. Fun night! Laughter, good-natured teasing. Loved your sense of humor; think you liked mine. Future connection? Me: Cute blonde English girl. When: Early Summer. Where: La Nopalera Jax Beach. #1318-1218


NEWS OF THE WEIRD Prison Blues Norway’s prison system is among the most inmate-friendly on earth, but convicted mass murderer Anders Breivik is still not impressed. Breivik, serving 21 years for the 2011 bomb-and-gun attacks that killed 77 people, may already enjoy amenities unheard of for a comparable U.S. murderer, but he sent wardens 12 demands in November, including an upgrade of his manual typewriter and PlayStation 2 (to a PS3, with better access to game selection). He also demanded his weekly government “allowance” (about $49) be doubled, and said if the “torture” of his living conditions isn’t relieved, he’d be forced into a hunger strike. Breivik threatened a similar strike in 2012, citing “inhumane” conditions such as cold coffee, lack of skin moisturizer and insufficient butter for his bread.

The Continuing Crisis

Following alarming reports, the Ohio attorney general’s office began working with the Ohio Veterinary Medical Association in December to be vigilant for pet owners who might be commandeering their dogs’ and cats’ pain killers — for their own use. Worse, other reports suggested some owners were deliberately injuring their pets just to get the drugs.

Bet Me

The Super Bowl may be the holy grail for Las Vegas sports gambling, but outside the United States, horse-racing, soccer and, surprisingly, pro tennis dominate. Tennis provides bettors with 19,000 matches a year (compared to 1,200 NBA games, 2,400 Major League Baseball games and fewer than 300 NFL games), with betting on 400,000 individual games and even on individual points, of which there are nearly 2.5 million, according to a January New

York Times item in Melbourne, Australia. In January’s Australian Open, a routine fourthround women’s match between players ranked ninth and 28th in the world attracted more than $4 million in wagers on just the first set.

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Grrrrr!

In Chedzoy, England, in January, border collie spaniel Luce was “re-homed” after Royston Grimstead, 42, learned she’d chewed completely through a wheel arch on his $120,000 Aston Martin. Said Grimstead, “[S]he had this guilty look on her face.” And, a magistrates court in Aberystwyth, Wales, convicted Ms. Rhian Jeremiah, 26, of criminal damage in January for biting into the roof of a Fiat 500 during an alcohol-fueled incident last year. Said the car’s owner, “I could hear metal crunching” (but, said Jeremiah’s lawyer, “not quite like” the scene in a James Bond movie featuring the character “Jaws”).

Toeing the Line

When a brand-new, exhaustively itemized medical coding system debuts in October (planned long before “Obamacare,” by the way), doctors will find, for example, dozens of separate numbers to describe issues with a patient’s big toe (left one, right one, with or without nail damage, blisters, abrasions, critter bites, fractures, dislocations, sprains, amputation, etc.). Among the odder listed “origins of injury,” reported The New York Times in December, are codes for “burning water skis” and injuries incurred in opera houses, or while knitting, or as a manifestation of sibling rivalry. The current system has about 17,000 codes; the new one totals 68,000 for diagnoses plus 87,000 for procedures. 

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FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 45


FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

PONTE VEDRA SAN MARCO SOUTHSIDE AVONDALE AVENUES MALL 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 330 A1A NORTH 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 398-9741 388-5406 280-1202 394-1390

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BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

Keep the Straws Out of the St. Johns

The real problem with Florida’s water supply is use, not supply

D

epending on whom you talk to, Central Florida has either reached or will soon reach the sustainable limits of its primary source of water, the Floridan Aquifer. As a result, the three water management districts in a five-county area — the St. Johns River Water Management District (SJRWMD), South Florida Water Management District and Southwest Florida Water Management District — created the Central Florida Water Initiative (CFWI) to identify alternative water supply (AWS) sources to meet future demand. Recently, the CFWI released its Draft Regional Water Supply Plan, which relies heavily on surface water withdrawals from the St. Johns River, instead of more responsible and cost-effective water conservation and efficiency options. The plan calls for potentially siphoning more than 150 million gallons of water a day from the St. Johns at an estimated cost of nearly $1.5 billion. The Ocklawaha River, one of the most important tributaries of the St. Johns, is also identified for potential withdrawals. In addition, the SJRWMD recently released its Water Supply Plan for the 18 counties within its jurisdiction. The District’s plan calls for the siphoning of an additional 125 million-plus gallons of water a day from the St. Johns River and more than 85 million gallons from the Ocklawaha River. Unfortunately, these proposed surface water withdrawals are being justified based on the findings of a flawed and incomplete study by the SJRWMD. A group of independent scientists and experts from the National Research Council (NRC) conducted a peer review of the St. Johns River Water Supply Impact Study (WSIS). They identified significant shortcomings and expressed concerns about many of the study’s conclusions. According to the NRC, “The WSIS operated within a range of constraints that ultimately imposed both limitations and uncertainties on the study’s overall conclusions.” The NRC report goes on to say that “the modeling conducted by the District did not have a water quality component, and the District considered the potential ecological effects of significant increases in degraded stormwater runoff, as well as changes in the frequency distribution of stream flows in urbanized areas, to be outside the scope of the WSIS.” Subsequently, St. Johns Riverkeeper has serious concerns that these proposed withdrawals would worsen existing pollution problems, increase the frequency of toxic algal blooms, further reduce flow and increase salinity levels farther upstream, and adversely

impact the fisheries, wildlife and submerged vegetation in and along the St. Johns and its many tributaries. Many of these withdrawals would require treatment by reverse osmosis, resulting in a byproduct with a high mineral and/or salt content that would likely be discharged back into the river. This concentrate would only create additional pollution problems for an already-polluted and threatened waterway. In addition, once communities become reliant on this water, it would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to turn off the spigot during low-flow drought conditions or if environmental damage occurs. The plans have also been criticized

Instead of siphoning millions of gallons of water a day from our rivers, our public officials should be focused on aggressive conservation. by utilities and other stakeholders for overestimating future demand projections. The larger the projected deficit, the less likely it is that conservation will be prioritized. Instead, utilities will be forced to pursue expensive alternative water supply infrastructure projects that may ultimately prove unnecessary. And, once those projects are included in an approved water supply plan, they are available for state funding and presumed to be in the public interest, making them more attractive and more difficult to challenge. The bottom line is that water conservation does work, can potentially meet most if not all of our water supply needs, and is much more cost-effective and environmentally responsible. Previously, the SJRWMD determined that nearly 288 million gallons of water could potentially be saved with a $1.6 billion investment in conservation. The 2005 District Water Supply Plan’s analysis “indicates a reasonable possibility that a substantial portion of the projected increase in SJRWMD water use between 2005 and 2025 could be met through improved water use efficiency.” Instead of siphoning millions of gallons of water a day from our rivers, our water managers and public officials should be focused on aggressive conservation and efficiency measures. Regrettably, both water supply plans downplay the potential of conservation to meet

future demand. The CFWI’s Draft Regional Water Supply Plan determined that only “3.9 percent of the projected demand for 2035 can be eliminated by water conservation.” This is absurd. We know how to use water much more efficiently, and opportunities clearly exist for significant reductions in water use at a fraction of the cost of risky alternative water supply projects. When irrigation accounts for nearly 50 percent of total residential water use and leaks are responsible for 10 percent of indoor use, we are obviously just scratching the surface of what is possible with conservation. However, we must first acknowledge that our real problem is one of use, not supply. Then, we need to get serious about addressing the root cause of our water use problem by implementing aggressive, proven and quantifiable conservation strategies. Unfortunately, the Central Florida plan only estimates the potential of water conservation “based on voluntary consumer actions.” Voluntary measures alone are simply not sufficient. Mandatory requirements must also be implemented and enforced. We don’t have voluntary water quality standards, so why should the use of this essential public resource be any different? Also, pricing strategies are necessary to achieve maximum conservation and efficiency benefits. Tiered rates for utility customers need to be much more aggressive, and consumptiveuse permit holders must begin to pay for the right to use the public’s water. Despite the looming water shortages and calls for new sources of supply, our state water management districts continue to issue frivolous consumptive-use permits that will further deplete our aquifer. Recently, the SJRWMD approved a permit from the California-based Niagara Bottling Company to nearly double groundwater withdrawals for its water bottling facility in Lake County to 910,000 gallons of water a day — an 88 percent increase. The time has clearly arrived for moratoriums on new withdrawals from the aquifer and permit increases, until we have a sustainable plan of action in place and a better handle on the hydrologic performance of our aquifer system. Let’s keep the straws out of the St. Johns, quit over-allocating our groundwater and finally get serious about addressing the root causes of our water use problems by exhausting all opportunities to use existing water resources more efficiently.  Jimmy Orth, executive director Lisa Rinaman, St. Johns Riverkeeper

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be no more than 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 47


48 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | FEBRUARY 26-MARCH 4, 2014

Folio Weekly 02/26/14  

Folio Weekly 02/26/14 The Outdoors Issue

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