READ IT AND WEEP Words by Kelila Ritchie In honor of Black History month and Valentine’s Day coinciding with one another, I bring you an article surrounding black love and all it could be. According to an article by TheRoot.com, black love is described as “the ideal of unity and togetherness.” It’s something magical. Yet, almost always, the issue lies in the representation of black love and all it has to offer in its glory. We are taught that experiencing a form of tough love and being a “ride or die” are the only ways we will ever experience love that is displayed in the movies. The common misconception is that you have to suffer, prove your worth & only then will you be worthy enough to experience love. Newsflash buddy, love doesn’t have to be traumatic. As a matter of fact, to love and to be loved is the best feeling in the world when it is done right. There are statistics and odds stacked against black relationships, dooming them before they even begin. As said in the Washington Post article 2019 marked 400 years of ‘forbidden black love’ in America, “The fracturing of black love and marriage began during the Middle Passage, when women such as Hagar Blackmore recalled being ‘stolen away from her husband and the infant that nursed on her breast.’ In 1669, Blackmore described the unique predicament of marital dissolution that most African women captives experienced before ever setting foot on American soil.” This was a common theme during the slavery era; Couples being ripped away from each other, families being torn apart for no other reason than unjust labor. With no idea when they would see each other again…if they ever would. The impact of slavery and America’s “war on black love” continues to affect today’s generation. Black people are scared to love freely, to experience the type of love that swallows you whole. To choose love consistently. (Yes, I obviously have been called a hopeless romantic but is it really hopeless? No.) But whatever fine, don’t wanna hear it from me? Here’s what some of my personal favorite black couples have to say about being Black and in love. These are interviews that will restore your faith in love.
Q & A
76 Folio Weekly
What does love look like when you are together?
Julian and Kei: “Love is just patience and kindness. You are careful with one another’s feelings, you’re cognizant of how your actions affect your partner.”
What role does shared values and goals play in the foundation of your love/relationship?
Julian and Kei: “I’m a bit more bull-ish when it comes to leading and goals and our relationship; because Kei is very feminine and very “going with the vibe” it works for me because I am not a go with the vibe type of person. So that helps with the dynamic of the balance of our relationship. But I think once you start peeling back that layer, you’ll find that you have two people who although are different as far as her having brothers and sisters and me being the only child, we’re very much family oriented. We love our families, we love our friends and it’s not just wordplay. We really live it and I think that is us at our core. It’s one of the things I love about Kei. So, that helps a lot in how we show up for each other since we consider each other parts of our friendships and family.”
