112211

Page 1

Northeast Florida’s News & Opinion Magazine • Nov. 22-28, 2011 • Stuffing Nutella in your Twinkie for 24 years • 99,402 readers every week!

The “Pope of Trash” John Waters offers his own version of the meaning of Christmas. p. 30

FREE


2 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011


Volume 25 Number 34

30

20 11

EDITOR’S NOTE Jacksonville’s “Brownfields” mission is tainted by the color of money. p. 4

MUSIC Hip-hop phenomenon Mac Miller brings his teenage rap riot to Northeast Florida. p. 23

MAIL Readers rally behind our right to a dignified death. p. 5

The dynamic duo Prince Rama delivers cosmic blues and galactic jams to the tribe of the new century. p. 24

NEWS Six years post-Abramoff, lawmakers continue to take free trips in extravagant style. p. 7 On the mean streets of Northeast Florida, the Jacksonville Bike Coalition works to take back the tarmac for cyclists. p. 10 BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS Airport spendthrift John Clark is back in the news for extravagant travel on the public dime. p. 8 ON THE COVER Flawed eyewitness testimony procedure is forcing change in police departments around the country. Why not here? p. 13 OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 19

ARTS Hardcore Jollies: A yuletide chat with legendary filmmaker John Waters. p. 30 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Kevlar underwear, meet bacon trousers. p. 42 BACKPAGE Life-changingg advice from Johnny Gazpacho. p. 47 SPORTSTALK p. 11 I ♥ TELEVISION p. 12 HAPPENINGS p. 33 DINING GUIDE p. 35 I SAW U p. 43 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY p. 44 CLASSIFIEDS p. 45

MOVIES Reviews of “J. Edgar” and “Immortals.” p. 20 NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 3


Walter Coker

Color Scheme

The city’s expanding definition of a “Brownfield” means the only green outcome is more corporate welfare

T

4 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

he Riverside headquarters of Blue Cross Blue Shield of Florida Inc. is surrounded by towering date palms, crouching sago palms and a fringe of crepe myrtles. The landscaping is nothing special, but it’s green and outwardly healthy — certainly not what one expects to see at a site at which “the presence of a hazardous substance, pollutant, or contaminant” has “complicated its use, expansion or redevelopment.” That, you see, is the definition of a “Brownfield,” a designation created by the federal Environmental Protection Agency to encourage communities to clean up and revitalize abandoned and contaminated lands. The land that BCBS headquarters sits on isn’t polluted. In fact, the only thing healthier than its environmental state is its financial health; neighbors include EverBank, Health America Credit Union, Lender Processing Services and Fidelity National Financial. Yet in addition to being designated a “Brownfield,” the BCBS headquarters is also located in a so-called “Enterprise Zone” — a state designation reserved for “distressed areas” that have been “targeted for economic revitalizing.” Both designations are a poor match for this kind of high-end real estate, but they yield huge dividends. Brownfields and Enterprise Zone programs each offer tax breaks and financial incentives to businesses locating within the zone boundaries. In the case of BCBS’ wholly owned subsidiary First Coast Service Options, the benefits apply just for hiring additional employees. The company, which has proposed adding 395 new jobs, has asked the City Council for $3.357 million in tax breaks and Brownfield and Enterprise Zone incentives. Last week, the Finance Committee gave the plan a green light, and the full council will take up the matter Tuesday. There are legitimate questions about whether BCBS needs or deserves corporate welfare. The national nonprofit health care company has amassed billions in surpluses in the last few years, even as it pushed through double-digit rate increases. In that same time, the company’s spending on lobbyists more than doubled, much of that in the name of fighting national health care reform. In Florida, BCBS is the state’s largest insurer and one of its richest political donors, exerting tremendous influence over politics and projects at the state and local levels. The company has spent more than $50,000 on local campaigns

since 2009, and its legislative lobbyist, Mike Hightower, is the former chair of the Duval County Republican Party. Since 2008, he’s donated $20,018 to political action committees and state candidates. Even the most parochial issue benefits from the company’s influence. As FW reported in April, BCBS persuaded the city to contribute $500,000 — fully a third of Jacksonville’s annual intersection improvement fund — to redesign the entrance to its Deerwood Park campus on the Southside (http://bit.ly/kYSy7V). But concerns about the company’s Brownfield/Enterprise Zone windfall goes beyond mere corporate welfare gripes. An industrial city with a history of environmental violations, industrial pollution, clear health disparities (http://bit.ly/sLzdh8), and 25 former and current Superfund sites, Jacksonville has a special interest — and a unique obligation — to remediate its polluted properties. Most of the city’s polluted sites are located within poor, minority neighborhoods. Those areas are desperate for investment, and lacking in financial wherewithal — which is why development incentives were created in the first place. Contrary to what Chamber of Commerce officials or City Councilmembers think, Brownfield designations and Enterprise Zones weren’t intended to be just another cash infusion for Fortune 500 companies. They were crafted to help impoverished people and imperiled environments. Jacksonville isn’t alone in extending its definitions — and boundaries — of “Brownfields.” In the past couple of years, New Port Richey, St. Petersburg, Clearwater, Largo, Tallahassee, Pensacola and Miami have all expanded theirs in the name of economic competitiveness. But boosting the business fortunes doesn’t meet EPA’s primary Brownfields goals: • Ensure the health and well-being of America’s people and environment • Reverse the spiral of contamination, declining property values, and increased unemployment often found in inner city areas • Protect human health and the environment Politicians can argue whether they think these goals are worthwhile, but they can’t pretend that they don’t exist. Taking money earmarked for revitalizing polluted properties and giving it to the richest, most privileged corporate entities in the city is the ultimate dirty trick. Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com


Walter Coker

Death Wish

In response to Anne Johnson’s article “The Bitter End” (Cover Story, Nov. 1, http://bit.ly/ rQ130E), I have this to say supporting your right to choose. It has been almost 18 years since I became part of the handicap community here in the U.S. I became a paraplegic due to a car accident that was not of my doing, when I was just 32 years old. Since that time, I have undergone over 15 procedures/surgeries to bring me back to being a functional adult with the use of a manual wheelchair. Over that time period, I have witnessed first-hand the desire of my compatriots to have the option of choosing when to die. Their belief was that they had endured hardships and suffering beyond the comprehension of the able-bodied population, and that they should be able to end it when they so desired. However, some were not as fortunate as others in the manner in which they ended their life, due to the strict laws set in this country regarding how you check out. Some did it with narcotics, while others resorted to driving their vehicle off a cliff or getting hit by a train. The saddest part of all these deaths were the manner in which their loved ones found them, or, for that matter, never found them. For my community, it is a dark subject. Most people will avoid at all costs openly espousing what constitutes a diminished capacity for quality of life. Most caretakers vehemently argue that a small quality of life is better than none at all and that keeping someone alive is better than allowing them to die. When I saw the movie “Million Dollar Baby” for the first time, I was overwhelmed by the feelings it provoked in me. I wondered for the first time who would be my rescuer, should the time come when I wanted my pain and suffering to end? We have so many inalienable rights here in the U.S. but choosing when to die is not one of them. For my population, I truly believe that makers of these laws against suicide should spend time in the home of a person who is suffering and witness first-hand what little quality of life they have left. I would like little more than to choose to have my affairs in order with a care plan that includes a place where my family and friends can come to say goodbye and wish me well in the afterlife. With old age, I am becoming more and more disabled and I can already envision when I will be unable to care for myself, dependent on others to do so. As an independent and charismatic individual, this will surely become my hell on Earth. Therefore, I am hoping by the time I am ready to end my life, I can do it in my own state and have the ability to donate my organs to others who might benefit from them. Hence, I have made it my personal quest to see passage of a right-to-die law in my state of Florida, before I personally need it. Ms. Rozanna Quintana Jacksonville via email

The very important issue, as referred to in “The Bitter End,” is one that affects all of us. This

outrageous suffering must be addressed as more of us reach our senior years and face hideous incurable diseases. In the case of a convicted murderer who has brought pain, suffering and death to one of us, we use the very best method available to our society to, as humanely as possible, give an injection into this miscreant lying in repose, to end their reign of terror. On the other hand, we have a perfectly decent human being who is in the throes of great suffering. Each day, the agony of existence stretches on, organs failing, dignity long gone, but the heart continues to beat. Months pass; the condition cannot be cured, just measures taken to keep the slow draining of life dripping away. There is no kindness nor compassion in this merciless requirement. When the endurance of a terminal, incurable illness is mandated, with no chance for assistance to end the suffering, one of the most important and valuable rights a human being can have is withheld. It is unconscionable to me that we cannot choose to have a passing when we decide we’ve had enough suffering. Can we offer the same kindness to those sufferers that we give to the most egregious among us? It should be up to the individual to decide on the right to die with dignity. Peace for the innocent certainly comes at an agonizing price! Karen Dunn Ewing St. Augustine via email

I had to respond to Anne Johnson’s article. I, too, thought I was dying at one point with stage 3 colon cancer. It was a horrendous time in my life, with chemo every Friday for months, a sliced-and-diced abdomen and a colostomy to deal with all at one time. The experience of “dying” on the operating table during that surgery, and going to the tunnel and the light and being “sent” back by a voice in the light that said, “Not yet, Karen.” The fact that I did not die and was sent back devastated me. I wanted to die and be out of the pain and suffering. I was depressed beyond words. Then something happened. Through some coincidences, if you will, I found a reason to live, even in the condition I was in. I joined the American Cancer Society and began talking about preventing colon cancer. I spoke anywhere someone would listen … in line at Publix, at Rotary meetings, church functions, my office — wherever. Through wonderful feedback, I discovered that hundreds of people were getting colonoscopies because of me. And if they were afraid to go or did not have anyone to go with them, I took them. This has been going on for more than nine years. I am cancerfree, colostomy reversed and so glad that I am still on this planet. If my world had gone the other way, I knew that I would turn myself over to hospice in the end. The most amazing program for dying people. Loving, kind, sensitive, professional and legal. A footnote to all of this: I survived stage 3 ovarian cancer 20 years ago, after being a hospice volunteer helping others on their journey to the end. An interesting tapestry. It is so good to be here! Karen Swinson Fleming Island via email NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 5


Locally Owned and Independent since 1987

Payback Time

The Duval School Board met recently to decide on their raises and other School Board issues. With decisions like the three listed below, the School Board gets an F. They certainly don’t deserve a raise. There was no rhyme or reason to the decisions. 1. Close an A school. 2. Give our tax dollars to a private company to open another school, even though the current school being run by this private company made an F. 3. Lay off 14 teachers. Maybe this was a re-run of “The Twilight Zone”? Sonja Fitch Jacksonville via email

Days of Future Passed

Come See Us At The 2011 Folio Weekly Martinifest!

In 2008, the Urban Land Institute and the Northeast Florida Regional Council presented RealityCheck 2060, a Lego game representing the 1.6 million new people and 600,000 new jobs that were projected to be in Northeast Florida (a seven-county area expanding metro Jax into a “seamless” urbanized community) in the next 50 years. Players did their best to imagine piles of red and yellow game pieces and cordon off “conservation lands” with green thread. In 2011, JaxPort, JAXUSA (formerly Cornerstone Regional Development), the Urban Land Institute and the University of North Florida posit that dredging the St. Johns River for approximately 15 miles will allow the Navy to berth a Supercarrier and Asians to berth Supertankers and container ships along the riverbanks. This, in turn, will expand the existing railway and highway traffic nets and the area will truly blossom into the Bold New City of the South, carrying St. Johns along with it. This new dream is wholeheartedly embraced by the “Regional” St. Johns Chamber and the St. Johns County administrator, who hired an economic development director to facilitate it happening. To me, JaxPort depends upon much more than the $600 million price tag of the dredging. Right now, the port at Jacksonville is still a secondary terminal between Savannah and Miami. Jacksonville still hasn’t completed 9B, or the outer loop of the Interstate beltway. The train capacity situation is illustrated by Rick Scott turning down high-speed rail, regardless of CSX investment. I would caution St. Johns County against unbridled enthusiasm for the certainly/ inevitability of this monumental Port effort, and our supposed suburban ripple spin-offs of jobs and economic well-being. Five to 10 years from now, citizens, taxpayers and ex-municipal officials (elected and staff ) will still be trying to wade through the mundane features of lack of capital bonding power, public works shortfalls, fragile tax base for all revenues (especially tourism and promotion of golf and beaches and non-urban, naturalistic lifestyles) at the local levels of government. They may come to see the JaxPort promotion in the same vein as those leftover Lego game pieces. David Wiles St. Johns County via email If you would like to respond to something that appeared in Folio Weekly, please send a signed letter (no anonymous or pseudonymous mail will be printed) along with address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to themail@folioweekly.com or THE MAIL, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Letters may be edited for space and clarity.

6 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 Fax: 904.260.9773 e-mail: info@folioweekly.com website: folioweekly.com PUBLISHER David Brennan dbrennan@folioweekly.com • ext. 130

Editorial EDITOR Anne Schindler • themail@folioweekly.com • ext. 115 PHOTO EDITOR Walter Coker • wcoker@folioweekly.com • ext. 117 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Dan Brown • dbrown@folioweekly.com • ext. 128 STAFF WRITER Susan Cooper Eastman • sceastman@folioweekly.com • ext. 132 COPY EDITOR Marlene Dryden • mdryden@folioweekly.com • ext. 131 CARTOONISTS Derf, Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Philip Booth, John E. Citrone, Hal Crowther, Julie Delegal, Joe Eknaian, Marvin R. Edwards, John Freeman, AG Gancarski, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, Steve Humphrey, MaryAnn Johanson, Danny Kelly, Damian K. Lahey, Keith Marks, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, mikewindy, Kara Pound, Alan Sculley, Christopher Shanley, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey and P.F. Wilson VIDEOGRAPHER Doug Lewis

Design ART DIRECTOR Jessica Wyatt • jwyatt@folioweekly.com • ext. 116 GRAPHIC DESIGNER Aaron Bromirski • abromirski@folioweekly.com • ext. 122

Distribution TEAM LEADER Bobby Pendexter • cosmicdistributions@gmail.com DISTRIBUTION TEAM Randall Clark, Cynthia Hancock, William Harville, Nigel Ledford, Tina McCarty-Boike, Judy McDonald, Parke Saffer, Jim Tudor and Bob Bueno

Sales & Marketing ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: dbrennan@folioweekly.com MERCHANDISING SALES MANAGER Dustin Lake • dlake@folioweekly.com • ext. 124 SPECIAL EVENTS MANAGER Rachel Landis • rlandis@folioweekly.com • ext. 126 ACCOUNT REPRESENTATIVES Erin Cook • ecook@folioweekly.com • ext. 125 Ryne Edwards • redwards@folioweekly.com • ext. 127 Meghan Harding • mharding@folioweekly.com • ext. 120 Natalie Vore • nvore@folioweekly.com • ext. 129

Internet WEBSITE/I SAW U COORDINATOR Ashley MacDonald info@folioweekly.com • ext. 110

Business & Administration BUSINESS MANAGER Lynn McClendon • fpiadmin@folioweekly.com • ext. 119 ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT, CLASSIFIED AD SALES Ashley MacDonald • amacdonald@folioweekly.com • info@folioweekly.com • ext. 110 VICE PRESIDENT T. Farrar Martin • fmartin@folioweekly.com PRESIDENT Sam Taylor • staylor@folioweekly.com • ext. 111

Follow us online! folioweekly.com

flogfolioweekly.com

fwbiteclub.com

folioweekly.com /newsletter.php

facebook.com/thefolioweekly

@folioweekly

http://folioweeklydeals.com

Folio Weekly is published every Tuesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received three weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2011. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 44,200 press run • Audited weekly readership 99,402


Rep. Ander Crenshaw took a nine-day $30,000 tip to southern Africa.

Luxury Trips, Junkets and Safaris, oh my! Lawmakers continue to take free trips in extravagant style, in the guise of “educational” outings

W

ith convicted ex-lobbyist Jack Abramoff out of prison and making the rounds promoting his book, “Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Washington Corruption from America’s Most Notorious Lobbyist,” it seems fair to say that not much has changed. Abramoff bought influence in Washington by plying members of Congress with gifts and vacations and promises of jobs for top aides. A recent report in USA Today documented how the money is still flowing for legislators, just from a slightly different source. Although gifts from lobbyists were banned in 2007 and privately funded travel reined in by the U.S. Congress, there were no similar restrictions placed on nonprofits. This year alone, congressional travel financed by nonprofits has increased 75 percent over 2010, and totaled some $3 million between January 2011 and Sept. 30. It should come as little surprise that Rep. Ander Crenshaw (R-Fla.) is among those congressmembers who participated in one such trip. Crenshaw was in the middle of the pay-to-play scandal that took down his friend and traveling buddy, former House Majority Speaker Tom DeLay (R-Tex.), who was convicted of criminal money laundering and sentenced to three years in prison (though he remains free on appeal). Between 2001 and ’05 — the height of Abramoff-style influence peddling — Crenshaw was among the country’s most traveled lawmakers, jetting about with friends and lobbyists, including a 2001 visit, along with his wife and Tom DeLay, to a posh Malaysian resort, and a 2004 trip to Denmark with Rep. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.), at taxpayer expense (see “Crenshaw’s Oil Stain,” Folio Weekly, http://bit.ly/u76gZJ). This year, Crenshaw and wife Katherine went on a nine-day, $30,000 nature safari to South Africa and Botswana with three other lawmakers, paid for by the International Conservation Caucus Foundation. The stated purpose of the trip was to show legislators how resource conservation and sustainable economic practices are good for both communities and corporations. But their itinerary makes clear that luxury and adventure were priorities. The guests were ensconced for two nights at five-star lodgings inside the 49,000-acre Shamwari Game Reserve on the Eastern Cape of South Africa.

The group did receive conservation briefings at breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner, but during their stay at Shamwari and then at two camps in game reserves in Botswana’s Okavango Delta, they spent at least five hours a day, for six days, in the bush, viewing lions, leopards, rhinos, elephants and zebras — an experience the Shamwari Game Reserve bills as the “pinnacle safari of a lifetime.” (Searchable travel records are available for Representatives at http://1.usa.gov/ rqB5ss and Senators at http://bit.ly/u6mpSk.) The group that financed the trip said in disclosure forms that the goal was to demonstrate the connection between international conservation, U.S. economic interests and sustainable supply chains. The trip also allowed lawmakers to “become familiarized and educated on the critical role that conservation and sound natural resource management play in poverty alleviation, sustainable economic development and regional security.” But the ICCF isn’t all veggie burgers and nature. The ICCF Conservation Council includes both environmental and corporate members like Kraft, Starbucks, Walmart and Coca-Cola. The foundation’s website includes a map of the world where one can see global projects being undertaken by Walt Disney Company or Marathon Oil Company. The safari was also paid for with funds from the Stephenson Foundation, founded by venture capitalist and Republican Thomas F. Stephenson, who served as Mitt Romney’s California finance co-chair for his presidential bid in 2008. The line between a nonprofit lobbying and educating can appear thin. Though the ICCF doesn’t lobby, it recently advertised for a Capitol Outreach Fellow, whose job description included developing tools to educate congressmembers on issues — which sounds suspiciously like what a lobbyist does. And while Crenshaw’s nine-day $30,000 sojourn may indeed have taught him some conservation basics, his reputation is more of an environmental hazard than an environmental steward. He’s voted in favor of oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, against higher fuel efficiency standards, and in favor of increased timber harvesting in Florida’s Ocala National Forest. He’s also collected big campaign dollars from mega-polluters and Tea Party financiers the

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 7


NewsBuzz Wearing (Next to Nothing) Jacksonville-based nonprofit Dignity U Wear announced last week that its new national spokesperson is Mark Wahlberg, whose most memorable sartorial choice didn’t actually involve that much in the wayy of dignity g y or wear. Best of all, Dignity Dign U Wear hosts host an annual event called eve Undie Sunday, Und which we’re wh pretty sure pre Marky Mark Ma will rock harder wi than his own th unforgettable un package. pa

Never-Never Land “I kind of hope he becomes president because it would be hilarious — in my fantasy world, of course.” — Guitarist extraordinaire Kaki King, riffing about Gov. Rick Scott between songs, during her recent performance at Café Eleven in St. Augustine.

Economic Dogturn Though it sounds like the ultimate lame excuse, Christy Lawrenson’s 4-yearold mixed-breed dog Tuity really did eat her $1,000 car payment. St. Augustine resident Lawrenson left 10 $100 bills, fastened with a paper clip, inside an envelope on a kitchen counter when she left for work recently. When her husband Joe returned during lunch, he found four pieces of the money, but most it — and the paper clip — were missing. After inducing Tuity to vomit, the couple pieced $900 back together and sent the remaining $100 in pieces to the Treasury Department, hoping for a replacement. Tuity has previously eaten cigarettes.

House of Cards Anemic housing market shows some signs of recovery: Home sales rise 8 percent. Prices fall another 3 percent. — Florida Realtors stats for Jacksonville for the third quarter of 2011.

Koch Brothers, owners of Georgia-Pacific. In an email to Folio Weekly, Crenshaw spokesperson Barbara Riley wrote that the Africa trip would help him with future decisionmaking. “Congressman Crenshaw values all opportunities to review how U.S. foreign assistance is being applied overseas,” she wrote, emphasizing that no taxpayer money was used.

C

renshaw isn’t the only lawmaker whose international travel is subsidized by others. U.S. Rep. Corrine Brown (D-Fla.) traveled to Paris and Belgrade in early September with her daughter Shantrel, a Washington lobbyist who works for the firm Alcalde & Fay. The stated purpose of the trip was for Brown to receive a humanitarian award from the Karić Foundation. She was also the keynote speaker at a cultural event, where she spoke on “High-Speed Rail in the United States” — a little ironic, since there is no high-speed rail in the United States. Brown’s

N

ot to be outdone by his Northeast Florida peers, Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.) took the most trips. He traveled to Vienna, Austria, for seven days in late April, courtesy of The Aspen Institute Congressional Program — ostensibly to consider the United States’ nuclear challenges. He also went on a three-day January retreat to Los Angeles with his wife, Joan,

The stated purpose of the trip was to show legislators how resource conservation and sustainable economic practices are good for both communities and corporations. But their itinerary makes clear that luxury and adventure were priorities. award included a medal set with a diamond, a diploma from Karić Brothers University and a “cheque,” according to the Foundation’s website. (Brown’s staff didn’t answer repeated emails inquiries about the size of the “cheque.”) Brown’s decision to accept the $6,427 trip from the Karić Foundation may seem innocuous, but the Karić family’s history is not. The Karić brothers control a staggering array of business ventures in Serbia, from oil and manufacturing to cell phone service and news media outlets, having benefited from the patronage of Slobodan Milošević, president of Yugoslavia and Serbia from 1989 to 2000 and indicted war criminal. (He died before the trial ended.) The Karić brothers were accused of evading more than $7 million in taxes in 2006 and last year were accused of embezzling more than $20 million while in control of the country’s largest cell phone company. The Karić Foundation is a nonprofit, but with clear

Spoiled For Attention “There could be some bad potato salad at that senior citizens’ dinner out in Bryceville or something like that. That could hurt somebody.” — Nassau County Commission Chairman Walter Boatright, sarcastically comparing the “necessity” of Building Department Director Robert McKinney and Facilities Maintenance Director Tim Milligan going themselves to inspect a stage at the Northeast Florida Fairgrounds to a ptomaine outbreak at a retirement home. Boatright suggested the men should’ve dispatched subordinates for such minor duty, but his real beef was the attitude that McKinney and Milligan displayed toward fair staff during the inspection, for which the chairman suggested “diplomacy classes.”

8 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

connections to the brothers. Bogoljub Karić’s wife, Malinka, is president of the foundation. In response to requests for comment about the company Brown was keeping in Serbia, Brown sent an email statement. “I’m very proud to have received this prestigious humanitarian award ... [for] my advocacy for the African continent, and my work domestically on behalf of minorities and the poor.” She also congratulated the Karić family and the Foundation for their contributions to humanity.

North Main Street, Springfield, October 14

paid for by The Heritage Foundation. And in August, he accepted a nine-day trip to Tel Aviv, Israel, from the pro-Israeli American Israel Education Foundation. Concerned Taxpayers of Duval County spokesperson Victor Wilhelm criticizes the practice of accepting nonprofit dollars for travel. He points out that reporting requirements for nonprofits are lax, and don’t indicate whether the funding came directly or indirectly from corporate interests. “Twenty different corporations can donate to a nonprofit and then the nonprofit pays for this or that,” he says. “But there’s no way to see where it’s going.” As for the purpose of the trips, Wilhelm is blunt. “These guys are buying influence,” he says. “That’s what they are doing, and it’s a bad game.” Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com


NewsBuzz That’s Our John! “Part of the culture is to play golf.” — Former Jacksonville Aviation Authority Executive Director John Clark, responding to criticism over publicly funded travel junkets to Phoenix golf resorts. Clark has been criticized by his new bosses in Indianapolis for spending too much public money on travel junkets — much the same criticism that dogged him when he worked in Jacksonville (see Folio Weekly cover story, Nov. 2008; http://bit.ly/v1JFe0). Clark ignored calls from Indianapolis city officials to resign in a recent interview with the Fox News affiliate there (http://bit. ly/tu59IX), saying “I’m not stepping down. I’m doing my job.”

Bouquets to Jim and Patty Springfield of St. Augustine for brightening the day of passersby with gifts from their garden. The St. Augustine Street Tree Advisory Committee recently gave the couple a beautification award for their pesticide-and-fertilizer-free garden. But the couple doesn’t just cultivate an earth-friendly garden; they share the beauty of the bounty by filling vases of flowers each day and placing them on a table with a sign, “Free Flowers from the Giving Garden.”

Brickbats to the Historic Fernandina Business Association for weighing in on the Fernandina Beach elections without checking election laws first. The business association spent $350 on a giant banner it hung across Eighth Street downtown, endorsing the re-election of City Commissioners Susan Stegner and Eric Childers, but neglected to add a disclaimer that it was a paid political advertisement and by whom it was paid, making it appear to be a city-sanctioned endorsement. City Clerk Mary Mercer ordered the banner removed because it violated election law. Stegner and Childers both lost their commission seats.

Bouquets to President Sherry Magill and the trustees of the Jacksonville-based Jessie Ball duPont Fund for making affordable housing a priority. The fund recently committed $2 million to help local nonprofit developers build new, affordable rental units and to preserve the current allotment of affordable housing. Currently, for every 39 affordable and available rentals in Duval County, there are 100 extremely low-income families who need housing.

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 9


Walter Coker

Cyclist Abhishek Mukherjee stands at the site on Riverside Avenue where he was hit on Sept. 7 by a JTA bus.

Chain Gang

On the mean streets of Northeast Florida, the Jacksonville Bike Coalition works to take back the tarmac for cyclists

N

ot many people get hit by a bus and live to tell. Abhishek Mukherjee not only survived, he was (amazingly) only slightly injured in the Sept. 7 accident. Mukherjee was riding his bike along Riverside Avenue, a street that lacks a cycling lane, forcing him to ride near the roadway. As a multi-angle video of the accident shows (http:// bit.ly/v04y6c), he was clipped by JTA bus No. 2105 and knocked to the ground just inches © 2011 from the tires. His bike frame was crushed, but Mukherjee walked away from the scene. Others have not been as lucky. Mukherjee was one of five local cyclists struck by a vehicle within a three-day period in September (http://bit.ly/pdVcJu), including one man who suffered fractures to both femurs. The accidents occurred just four months after Washingtonbased advocacy group Transportation for America ranked the city the third-mostdangerous metro area in the country for bicyclists and pedestrians (http://bit.ly/s1ayvX).

FolioWeekly

A

10 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

longtime proponent of cycling awareness and safety as a member of Bike Jax (founded in 2008), Mukherjee recently became an adviser to a new cycling advocacy group, the Jacksonville Bicycle Coalition (jaxbikecoalition.org). Founded in August by director Jennifer Kubicki, the JBC faces a Sisyphean task. Jacksonville, the largest city in the contiguous United States, is jam-packed with impatient motorists traveling at high speeds to distant and disparate parts of town. Coupled with an abysmal safety record and a mass transit system that consistently fails to meet citizens’ needs, the environment for pedal-pushers is lethal on a grand scale. Despite the challenges, JBC spokesperson Goliath Flores is determined to remain positive. “One of the objectives is to increase awareness of motorists about bicyclists,” he says. “The other is to promote bicycling as a viable alternative means of transportation. A legitimate form of transportation. It’s a healthy thing to do, it’s cost-efficient, it’s social, it’s good for your car[’s gas] mileage.”

Part of JBC’s initiative is to educate cyclists on how to ride safely, and what their rights are. For example, on roads where there are no bike lanes, cyclists have the same rights — and responsibilities — as motorists. That means they may travel in traffic lanes, they must stop at traffic signals, and they must be afforded a three-foot clearance when being passed. Although many motorists think cyclists should use sidewalks, that poses a danger to both cyclists and pedestrians. “Overall, motorists are really unaware of bicyclists,” says Flores, a relatively recent convert to cycling. “And half the time when

invest in better safety infrastructure (http:// jaxbikecoalition.org/petition). The city of Jacksonville isn’t unaware of the need. The city’s Comprehensive Bicycle/Pedestrian Plan, released in April 1999, provided an exhaustive review of roads, problem areas, cyclist and pedestrian needs, and fatality statistics coupled with plans for safer roadways. GIS Planner Supervisor and Bike/ Ped Coordinator James M. Reed didn’t respond to Folio Weekly’s request for comment about implementing the decade-old study, but it’s clear the goals of the report remain a distant dream. Regardless of city backing, JBC plans to

“Motorists are really unaware of bicyclists,” says Flores, “and half the time, they are rude or hostile. When you have somebody who is in a state of stress, and they are behind [the wheel of a car] with 200-horsepower, everything is a hair-trigger. It becomes an extension of their emotional state.” they are aware of them, they are rude or hostile. … When you have somebody who is in a state of stress, and they are behind [the wheel of a car] with 200 horsepower, everything is a hair-trigger. It becomes an extension of their emotional state. I never became so aware of that till I became a cyclist.” That fact became brutally clear in March 2010, when an irate motorist stabbed two Jacksonville cyclists as they neared the end of a 60-mile Memorial Day ride. The assailant, 25-year-old Matt Roger Salmons, who had 14 prior driving violations, was charged with felony assault and sentenced last September to a year in jail. However, local cyclists routinely attest to being run off roads, shouted at and pelted with trash when they ride. JBC’s awareness campaign includes display ads and videos, and a petition to the city to

stay the course, encouraging local enthusiasts — including custom bike builders at ZenCog and the organizers of Skid Marks events (which include bike jousting and bike polo) — to use their online social networks to challenge friends to get out and ride, and to ride safely. The group’s blog includes a call to action (“If these mean streets are wearing you down, join us”) and members say it appears to be working. “All of a sudden, we Bike Jax members — we were maybe three or four to begin with — we suddenly see 20, 30 people working to do the things we’ve been doing, and be more active in advocacy, which was a breath of fresh air for us,” says Mukherjee. “I am still not sure what led to that, and I am not complaining. They are here, and we need more voices.” John E. Citrone themail@folioweekly.com


Paul Vathis

Pedo State

JoePa’s “legacy” is not only irrelevant, it’s an affront to victims everywhere

I

hope Joe Paterno lives to be 100, so he has time to fully digest the situation he and his cronies permitted, nurtured and fostered. Some may wonder what drove Jerry Sandusky to his crimes, and where he got the idea that he’d be protected and who else indulged in similar pursuits — the sordid mechanics of the whole situation. Those questions, and more, are the subject of wave after wave of revelations in this horror story. Yet from the start, little attention has been paid to the boys, now men, whose lives were ruined by this system of deceit. What of their ability to relate to others, to fall in love,

molestation victim, the rape victim and so on are all haunted in perpetuity by the radioactive reality of their terrible subjugation. Those idiotic students in “Happy Valley” who rioted upon hearing that JoePa was fired showed no perspective or moral sensibility. But they’re stand-ins for a culture that makes judgments without bothering to fact-check. (It’s just as easy to Google as to Tweet, but don’t tell Ashton Kutcher.) Everyone who’s ever suffered some kind of sexual violation has felt desire, at some point, to kill his or her assaulter. Revenge isn’t really

“We don’t spend much time talking about what a great running back OJ Simpson was, because the little matter of his wife’s murder is much more important. But in this instance, somehow, a football legacy is still considered a mitigating factor.” to trust and respect and enjoy normal sex lives? Everyone involved in this cover-up deserves a torturous death from a thousand cancers for what they facilitated. Indeed, the details that emerge from this scandal occupy a zone that seems like it couldn’t possibly exist outside the realm of conspiracy theory. So much of it doesn’t quite seem credible, given what’s commonly held to be true regarding human nature. We like to believe we’re fundamentally innocuous people — wouldn’t hurt anything. Our makeup and our meat are all conspicuously labeled “cruelty-free,” our clothes no longer bought from overheated, claustrophobic and catastrophic sweatshops. But when it comes down to it, we all have a dark side. The boy next door goes to college, slips a roofie in some shorty’s Zima and boom — here comes the date rape. Or he goes to Afghanistan — one tour, two tours, three tours, four — and starts taking trophies — fingers and toes — from local “insurgents” offed in the name of freedom. Do you think Casey Anthony intended to grow up and become Casey Anthony? No one intends to become a monster. Not even this POS Sandusky, who made a career of taking vulnerable, poor kids, many of them raised without a father in the home, and teaching them, once and for all, not to trust anything — men, women, sex, nothing. Molestation, rape, sexual assault — all are recurrent theft. There is no justification for imposing one’s carnal desires upon someone who has no bargaining power, recourse or ability to say no. In one sense, the act lasts for a few minutes, or a series of events over a course of time. But the impact has a long half-life; the

an option, however. So people tell the victims to “calm down, look at it in perspective; the worst is over.” But it’s never over. As Faulkner wrote, the past isn’t even past. It’s always there, even if the pictures aren’t on Facebook. The full scope of Sandusky’s crimes won’t come to light for weeks, years — maybe not ever. And who knows if that rumor that Pittsburgh sportswriter Mark Madden spread about there being a Child $ex Ring tied into Sandusky and his “Second Mile” charity will be proved to be true? Only a fraction of what happened will be substantively provable. No matter. To those of you who give a rat’s ass about Paterno’s legacy, his 409 wins, or the future of Penn State football, I would like to say that your priorities are grievously misplaced. We don’t spend much time talking about what a great running back OJ Simpson was, because the little matter of his wife’s murder is much more important. But in this instance, somehow, a football “legacy” is still considered a mitigating factor. That’s because real talk isn’t on most Americans’ agendas, and doesn’t work as interstitial blather between adverts. We want happy things to distract us, like 19-yearolds crackback blocking each other. They are the winners. The losers, the victims, the remainder from the equation? Shut up, bro — game’s back on. AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com

Listen to AG Gancarski every Friday on “First Coast Connect” with Melissa Ross on 89.9 FM WJCT.

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 11


Advertising proof

Where Goeth Thou, Gravy?

this is a copyright protected proof ©

L

ns, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 101111et me tell you a little about the insides of my stomach. Recently I took a trip to the Southern ROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 United States — for the record, “Florida” is not

f benefit

sUpport

Ask for Action

Produced by ab Checked by

South — and I’m pretty sure they tried to poison me. WITH DELICIOUSNESS. “Poisoning via deliciousness” is an especially cruel, sneaky way of killing someone. Apparently word got around that I make fun of hillbillies … a lot … and while these Southern people acted very nice to my face, their sole intent was obviously to shovel delicious poison down my gullet until I collapsed under the weight of my own duodenum — with a small stream of gravy trickling from my butt. Anyway! Luckily for you, those goddamn hillbillies didn’t kill me with their neverending plates of barbecue ribs, banana pudding, red beans’n’rice, fried chicken, hushpuppies, baked beans, potato salad,

So the holiday eating season has officially begun, and it’s not just the hillbillies trying to kill you. Your parents and relatives also want you to die – or at least become morbidly obese and develop adult onset diabetes.

© 2011

©

12 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

in the South Sales Rep any nv more than “Cuba” is in the

mac’n’cheese, cornbread, fried pickles, mashed potatoes and the accompanying boats of gravy. But it was close. On the day I left Dixie, my blood pressure was 199 over 110, which most medical practitioners recognize as “legally dead.” What those hillbillies didn’t know is that I always carry a portable enema kit/water cannon for just such an occasion. Two blasts later and BOOYAH! There’s not a speck of fried chicken or pecan pie left in my colon, and I’m back to making off-color remarks about hillbillies, their kissin’ cousins and various barnyard lovers. Hmm … I’m sure I had a point to make … OH, YEAH! So the holiday eating season has officially begun, and it’s not just the hillbillies trying to kill you. Your parents and relatives 2011also want you to die — or at least become morbidly obese and develop adult onset diabetes. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? May I suggest a healthful and weekly colonic of television? When an evil, murderous friend or relative offers you a piece of pumpkin pie with whipped cream, simply hold up your hand and squeal, “Get thee behind me, Satan! I’m watching ‘Kourtney & Kim Take New York’!” Or … you know … something good. Like these: • “A Very Gaga Thanksgiving” (ABC, Thur., Nov. 24, 9:30 p.m.) This looks AH-MAYZING!! Lady Gaga teams up with veteran news anchor Katie Couric (!!) to perform a small concert for her friends and family (??), as well

FolioWeekly

as a duet with Tony Bennett(!?). I hope they feature Uncle Gaga in the background rolling his eyes and watching football. • “The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (CBS, Tue., Nov. 29, 10 p.m.) America’s favorite mostly nude models prance around on stage dressed as mostly nude butterflies, birds and angels — a constant, depressing reminder of the sex you’ll never have. Who can eat?! • “Paula’s Home Cooking” (FOOD, Thur., Nov. 24, noon) Southern cook and butter fiend Paula Deen devotes a whole disgusting show to making fatty, deliciously deadly treats with Thanksgiving leftovers like “Turkey Stroganoff,” “Green Bean Casserole” and “Gravy Butt Leakin’ Soup.” AUGHH! Pass the water cannon!!

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 22 9:00 ABC DANCING WITH THE STARS Season finale! A winner is announced, which means everyone will finally realize this show is unfair and terrible.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 23 9:00 FOX MOBBED A special presentation of Howie Mandel’s “flash mob” hidden camera show. Everything I just wrote makes me want to kill myself. 10:00 FX AMERICAN HORROR STORY The identity of the person in the rubber geek suit is revealed! I bet it’s Herman Cain!

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24 8:30 FOX HAPPINESS IS A WARM BLANKET, CHARLIE BROWN Debut! A brand new Peanuts special in which the gang try to get Linus to dump his ratty, STD-infected blanket. 9:30 ABC A VERY GAGA THANKSGIVING OH! And besides singing, Lady Gaga prepares her famous deep-fried turkey and waffles. (Water cannon! STAT!)

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 25 8:00 FOX IRON MAN (Movie) (2008) Enjoy a nice post-holiday colonic and one of the best Marvel-to-movie adaptations ever! 8:00 CBS HOOPS & YOYO RUIN CHRISTMAS Debut! A new animated special about two stowaways on Santa’s sleigh who ruin Xmas! (Thank God for Hanukkah.)

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26 8:00 NBC MACY’S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE Repeat! For those of you too drunk or hungover to watch it the first time? Here ya go.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 27 8:30 BET THE SOUL TRAIN AWARDS The annual tip o’ the hat to R&B and soul, with performances by Earth, Wind & Fire and Gladys Knight! 9:00 AMC THE WALKING DEAD The gang is shocked by a new and surprising threat. (What? Vampires, too?)

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 28 8:00 NBC THE SING-OFF Season finale! The final three compete to see who is the sing-iest singer in all of Singland! Wm.™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com


Advertis

this is a copyrig

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rU FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 promise of benefit

sUpport

Ask for Action

Produced by ab

Advertis Flawed eyewitness testimony this is a copyrig is forcing change in police questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rU departments around theForcountry. FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Why not here? Produced by ab promise of benefit sUpport Ask for Action

By Susan Cooper Eastman “He lies like an eyewitness.” — Russian proverb

I

t was just after 7 a.m., and James and Mary Ann Stephens were already up and dressed and taking advantage of the Ramada Inn’s free continental breakfast. It was a Sunday morning, the first of the couple’s Florida vacation, 360 miles south of their tiny hometown of Toccoa, Ga. They fixed two cups of coffee and took a muffin each, along with a complimentary copy of The Florida TimesUnion. As they walked down the breezeway back to their motel room, Mr. Stephens later recalled, a tall, skinny, young AfricanAmerican man came walking toward them. Suddenly a pistol was pointed at Mary Ann, only 16 inches from her face, and the man was demanding her purse. When she shook her shoulder so that her straw bag would slip down her arm, the man fired what looked to Stephens like a double-barreled Derringer. The bullet hit the bridge of Mrs. Stephens’ nose and entered her skull, killing her instantly. The whole incident, beginning to end, took five seconds. Stephens’ wife of 30 years, Mary Ann Stephens, 64, was gone forever. As sirens wailed, a series of BOLOs crackled over police radios. “The suspect is going to be a skinny black male wearing dark shorts, shirt unknown, a hat, last seen running southbound, possibly using a Derringer-type weapon,” went one of the early broadcasts. Later reports added the suspect was wearing a dark shirt and a “fish-like-style hat” with a narrow cloth bill. Officer Thomas Martin admitted during his deposition that he approached 15-year-old Brenton Butler because he was walking along University Boulevard near the Ramada Inn, and the original BOLO (Be On the Look Out) description hadn’t given police a lot to go on. But Butler was black. He was skinny. He was

wearing dark slacks. Officer Martin approached the youth and told him about the murder. He asked if Butler would mind talking to detectives to tell them anything he might have noticed. Butler got into Martin’s squad car and the officer drove him over to the motel. As soon as Stephens caught sight of him, even from 50 feet away, he was certain he was the gunman. “That’s him,” he told detectives. Stephens’ certainty never wavered. At trial, when prosecutor Laura Starrett asked Stephens if the man who killed his wife was in the courtroom, Stephens pointed a finger at the bespectacled teenager. Asked if he had any doubt, Stephens’ response was resolute. “There is no doubt in my mind.” Stephens was wrong, however. Butler was acquitted, and two other men were ultimately convicted. The state attorney and the sheriff even issued formal apologies to Butler, admitting that he’d been an innocent kid caught in the system. But Stephens’ testimony was powerful. It kept the teen in jail for six and a half months, despite his claims he’d been beaten by detectives, despite photographs that appeared to back up that claim, and despite a signed “confession” in which the details didn’t come close to matching the particulars of the crime. Eyewitness testimony was all that held the case together, but for a while, it was enough. Stephens was so sincere. So certain about Butler. So wrong.

T

he faulty eyewitness testimony of James Stephens in the Brenton Butler case has become a classic in the annals of eyewitness fallibility, partly because of Stephens’ certainty and partly because Butler might have spent the rest of his life in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Human memory is capricious, even in ordinary circumstances. (Did you turn off

the stove? Can you remember that person’s name?) When there’s a weapon involved in a crime, it attracts almost all of a person’s focus. Remember the detail in Stephens’ description: a double-barrelled Derringer? For reasons both practical and instinctual, the focus in such moments isn’t a face or even what the assailant is wearing; it’s the immediate threat — the gun, the blade. Stephens admitted as much when he was questioned at the second murder trial. Asked about his initial misidentification of Butler, he snapped, “Suppose you had to stand there with your wife and watch her brains get blown out?” Stephens’ answer reflects not only the grief and rage that cloud such a moment, but the very reason eyewitness testimony is unreliable. It’s difficult for a jury to discount such testimony, however. Stephens wasn’t lying, after all. He was absolutely convinced Butler had killed his wife. Stephens’ certainty also convinced police. So sure were they that Brenton Butler was their man, they didn’t even bother dusting the murdered woman’s purse for fingerprints until a few weeks before his trial. (The prints recovered belonged to Juan Curtis, one of two men eventually convicted of the crime.) Stephens is hardly the only witness to be both certain and mistaken. Eyewitness misidentification is the single biggest factor in wrongful convictions. Of the 273 defendants exonerated in the United States by DNA evidence since 1992, 75 percent of cases involved faulty eyewitness testimony. And some studies have found as many as one in three eyewitness identifications are false, likely sending innocent people to jail. Police know this, and some departments have tried to tighten up procedures for identifying suspects. Other departments are being forced to make changes. A landmark ruling by the New Jersey Supreme Court in August criticized the “troubling lack of

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 13


reliability in eyewitness identifications” and set new guidelines for the kinds of answers judges can consider and juries can demand when evaluating the reliability of witness testimony. The guidelines, which incorporate decades of research into human memory, dovetail with several new studies, including a report released in September by the American Judicature Society. That report, based on actual, in-the-field criminal investigations, found small changes to the way police handle lineups can dramatically reduce the rate of misidentifications. Chief among the report’s recommendations is that photographs of suspects be presented sequentially, rather than as a group. The report also recommends “double-blind” identification sessions, in which the officer presenting the photographs has no knowledge

York, to follow New Jersey’s lead. But while these policies are the new standard in New Jersey, and the expected future at law enforcement agencies around the country, they are not currently in use at the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office — and there are no plans to change that.

J

acksonville Undersheriff Dwain Senterfitt calls the May 2000 Brenton Butler case a learning experience. He says it forced the department to be more rigorous in building cases, no longer relying on eyewitness testimony alone, but adding it to a wealth of other evidence in a case. He also believes the JSO is ahead of the curve on reforming police procedures to obtain more accurate

Asked about his initial misidentification of Butler, James Stephens snapped, “Suppose you had to stand there with your wife and watch her brains get blown out?” His answer reflects not only the grief and rage that cloud such a moment, but the very reason eyewitness testimony is unreliable. of the crime or a possible suspect. Both practices decrease the pressure on witnesses to pick someone, and guard against the unintentional bias of police officers. The New Jersey ruling incorporates these two recommendations, along with another key suggestion: that lineup administrators rate the certainty of witnesses. Researchers have found that once a witness has identified someone in a lineup, their conviction that they’ve picked the right person increases dramatically. By requiring law enforcement to rate how the witness felt at the outset, the court hopes to diminish the impact of self-reinforced certitude. Although the court’s recommendations only affect law enforcement in New Jersey, they are expected to influence other jurisdictions. Tucson, San Diego and Charlotte, which participated in the AJS study, are all weighing the proposals. Pressure is growing in other Northeastern jurisdictions, particularly New

eyewitness identification. Senterfitt notes that administrators of a lineup are instructed to scrupulously avoid making comments on witnesses’ choices or pressuring a witness into making decisions. JSO informs witnesses that the suspect may not be in the lineup at all, and emphasizes that it’s just as important to protect the innocent as to put the guilty in prison. Other Northeast Florida sheriff ’s departments do the same. Clay, St. Johns and Nassau all require that photographs used in a photo lineup be similar in size and coloring, and that all of the people closely match the suspect in appearance. And all sheriff ’s offices employ the sequential photo lineup — at least in theory. In practice, however, there is great variability. Clay County allows officers to present photos either as a group or one at a time. The Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office has a policy of sequential photo lineups, but Senterfitt says JSO officers

Walter Coker

Defense attorney Richard Kuritz says that JSO’s claim of being short-staffed is no excuse for not adopting new, more rigorous lineup procedures. “If there can be five officers at a DUI stop, there’s no reason why, in a homicide, they can’t get someone to come in on it.”

14 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011


The Mustard Seed Cafe

Located inside Nassau Health Foods,The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with Lisa Harter’s impeccable style. Popular items are ginger chicken salad, falafel pitas, black bean burgers and Asian noodles with tuna. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

Lulu’s at The Thompson House

Lulu’s owners, Brian and Melanie Grimley, offer an innovative lunch menu, including po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in the gardens of the historic Thompson House. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp is the focus every Thursday), and nightly specials. An extensive wine list and beer are available. Open for lunch and dinner Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations are recommended. 11 S. Seventh Street 904-432-8394

PLAE Restaurant & Lounge

Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly. Now you can PLAE during the day, too! Open for lunch Tue.-Sat. 11:30 a.m.-2:30p.m. Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted. 80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

Moon River Pizza

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you. 925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

The Surf

Enjoy a casual beach atmosphere in the full-service restaurant, bar and huge oceanview deck. Extensive menu features delicious steaks, fresh seafood and nightly specials. Also featuring salads, wraps, burgers, seafood baskets and our famous all-you-can-eat wing specials (Wed. & Sun.). Take-out available. Open at 11 a.m. daily for lunch, dinner and late-night menu. Entertainment nightly and 29 TVs throughout. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-261-5711

The Palace Saloon

It’s been the cornerstone of downtown Fernandina Beach since 1903. Florida’s oldest continually operating bar serves great bar food, including 10-oz. burgers, gourmet hot dogs, New York-style pizza and our famous Fernandina Fish & Chips. And you never know when Uncle Charlie’s ghost will join you for lunch and a cocktail! Pirates Punch, full liquor bar and over 100 craft beers to choose. Catch all the games on 13 giant screens every Sunday. Open daily noon-2. thepalacesaloon.com 117 Centre Street 904-491-3332

Cafe Karibo

Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches. 27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 South Eats

This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices.The eclectic menu offers traditional world cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. Mon.-Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com 29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

Brett’s Waterway Café

Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food.The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily. Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

T-Ray’s Burger Station

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go! Now serving Beer & Wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays. 202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

Jack & Diane’s

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite! 708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

Sliders Seaside Grill

Oceanfront dining at its finest. Award-winning crab cakes, fresh daily seafood specials and homemade desserts. Sliders has Amelia Island’s only waterfront Tiki Bar, as well as a children’s playground and live music every weekend. The dining experience is complete with brand-new second-story banquet facilities, bar and verandah. Open at 11 a.m. daily, with happy hour from 4-7 p.m. Mon.-Fri. Make Sliders Seaside Grill your place to be for friends and family, entertainment and the best food on the East Coast. Call for your next special event. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-277-6652

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 15


Walter Coker

Attorney Janet Johnson contends JSO’s claim that it doesn’t reinforce eyewitness identifications simply isn’t true. “I’ve had people tell me they’ve said, “That is the guy.’”

simply hand the witness a shuffled packet of photographs and then give him or her control over how they’re viewed. The witness is free to page back and forth through the photos, comparing and contrasting the images. A sequential lineup is preferred by memory experts because it’s designed to force the witness to compare an individual photo against their memory of the perpetrator. When presented with several photos simultaneously, a witness tends to compare one person to another, and choose the one that most closely resembles her or his memory. As for “double-blind” lineups, in which the administrator is unfamiliar with the case, and

And in practice, the JSO’s policy may not be as rigorous as Senterfitt suggests. Defense attorney Janet Johnson says witnesses have told her in deposition that JSO officers or detectives will tell them when they’ve identified the person who’s the main suspect. “Afterwards, I’ve had people tell me that they’ve said, ‘That is the guy,’ ” she says. “It reinforces their decision,” she says, increasing their certainty to 100 percent. Kuritz agrees that the difference between policy and practice can be vast. Although policy at all four sheriff ’s offices says that the people picked for a lineup must resemble the prime suspect, Kuritz says that’s not always done. He even tried one case in which the JSO,

Some have suggested videotaping lineups so jurors can gauge the reliability of witnesses’ identification. Undersheriff Dwain Senterfitt seems almost offended by that idea. “I don’t think it’s necessary,” he says curtly. “I have faith in my detectives.”

16 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

doesn’t even know if there’s a suspect in the lineup, only the Nassau County Sheriff ’s Office policy specifies it as the “preferable” scenario. Clay County allows for double-blinds but does not require them; St. Johns makes no mention of them. In Jacksonville, double-blind lineups are not used. Undersheriff Senterfitt says he’s proud of JSO’s policies and underscores the professionalism of his officers. But he resists the idea of changing JSO procedures to be in accordance with current research or the dictates of the New Jersey court. Senterfitt says implementing double-blind lineups presents logistical difficulties. “Not to say we don’t use it sometimes,” he says. “I just don’t want it to be in the policy that we have to use it. If it’s 2 a.m., and all I have there are detectives that are working the case, it’s just not logistical to bring somebody else in [for] an identification.” But defense attorney Richard Kuritz dismisses this argument. He points out that JSO is a large police department with a lot of resources. “If there can be four or five law enforcement officers present at a DUI stop,” he says, “there’s no reason why, in a homicide or some other serious case, they can’t get someone to come in on it.”

having settled on a different suspect than the one initially identified by their witness, testified the original lineup wasn’t good because the photos didn’t match the suspect. “They were waffling and backtracking and doing whatever they could to support the new theory for the prosecution,” he recalls. “They said the people in the lineup didn’t look alike. [But if their original] theory had remained the same … I’m sure they would have said that the photo lineup was good.” One way jurors can gauge the reliability of witnesses’ identification is to know how the witness reacted to the lineup and exactly what was said to them during the process — in other words, a recording. It’s among the ideas put forth in the recent New Jersey court ruling. Senterfitt seems almost offended by that idea. “I don’t think it’s necessary,” he says curtly. “I have faith in my detectives.” Kuritz points out that an officer’s behavior doesn’t have to be blatant to have influence, though. “It’s little things — subtle behavior, movement, voice inflection — that can be picked up on by somebody else,” he says. “It may not be intentional by law enforcement officials, but the person who is listening may misconstrue what is happening and think they


are being given a message.” Recording the lineup would eliminate those questions and give everyone a concrete record of the process. “We are in such a technological era. I can video-record you doing a photo spread on my phone, and we could download it and have it forever,” says Kuritz. “Why would they not want to ensure the integrity of the process?”

C

hange comes slowly to Northeast Florida. This is a place, after all, that’s still arguing over whether it’s appropriate for a high school to be named after a Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. Absent pressure from the outside, it’s unlikely police procedures will change. But there is outside pressure building. In December 2009, in the wake of 13 overturned convictions — mostly death row and life sentences — a group of 68 judges and attorneys petitioned the Florida Supreme Court to investigate. Florida Chief Justice Charles Canady established the 23-member Innocence Commission to investigate the reasons behind the wrongful convictions and

Eyewitness misidentification is the single biggest factor in wrongful convictions. Some studies have found as many as one in three eyewitness identifications are false, sending innocent people to jail. to suggest reform. The commission began work in July 2010, and will issue its final report in July 2012. Its proposals may include statutory changes for the Florida Legislature to consider, changes to court procedures or even a suggestion that the state attorney general set statewide standards, as has happened in Wisconsin, Ohio and North Carolina. Seth Miller, executive director of the Innocence Project of Florida, whose work with DNA evidence led to the release of 13 men in recent years, would like to see statewide standards forced on Florida law enforcement. In fact, he says, the guarantee of equal justice demands it. But he’s not optimistic. He doubts the legislature has the stomach to dictate law enforcement policy, and despite the dramatic rate of overturned convictions, there may not be enough institutional pressure for wholesale change. “There is not a framework in Florida to make sure all of the agencies in the state not only have a policy on witness identification, but have the best policy, and that it is uniform across the state,” Miller says. “You shouldn’t have the luck of the draw when you are a suspect in a crime.” Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

Watch a BBC news video on the unreliability of eyewitness accounts at flogfolioweekly.com NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 17


18 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011


MUSIC TROPIC OF CANCER AND SUNBEARS!

Northeast Florida music fans can enjoy back-to-back nights of local music this week. First up, in celebration of their new release “India,” Tropic of Cancer performs along with Chad Jasmine, Canary in the Coalmine and Fainted Paces on Friday, Nov. 25 at 8 p.m. Then, local electro pop kings Sunbears! (pictured) play songs from their latest album, “You Will Live Forever,” with Juicy Pony on Saturday, Nov. 26 at 8 p.m. Both shows are at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets for each show are $8. 398-7496.

SKA SKANKSGIVING!

Oi! One way to sweat away some of those post-Thanksgiving coma-inducing carbs is to surrender to the pit at Skanksgiving, featuring 10 kick-ass ska and punk bands from the Southeast including Konami Code, Squirt Gun Warriors (pictured), Hermits of Suburbia, El ChupaSkabra, UNRB, Self Employed, Won’t Be Arsed, Waylay, Poor Richards and The Other Dave Experience on Saturday, Nov. 26 at 1 p.m. at The Phoenix Taproom, 325 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Admission is $10. 798-8222.

CRIME AND THE CITY THE 904

Reasons to leave the house this week

CLASSIC ROCK THIN LIZZY

Irish hard rock pioneers Thin Lizzy formed in Dublin in 1969, attracting an international audience on the strength of still-classic cuts like “Whiskey in the Jar,” “Jailbreak” and their 1976 love letter to Vietnam vets, “The Boys Are Back in Town.” The band was rocked by the tragic death of frontman Phil Lynott in ’86, but have reunited and reignited the fiery style that influenced everyone from Metallica and Mastodon to Henry Rollins and The Darkness. Thin Lizzy performs on Tuesday, Nov. 29 at 7 p.m. at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Advance tickets are $28; $35 day of show. 209-0399.

T-DAY PARTY! PETE’S BAR

Hey, you turkey necks! Historic Pete’s Bar holds its annual Thanksgiving Day Party on Thursday, Nov. 24 from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. at 117 First St., Neptune Beach. This Beaches bacchanal is now in its 40th year and as ever, a huge crowd (some in costume) is expected. 249-9158.

Melissa Ross of WJCT’s “First Coast Connect” chronicled the city’s alarming murder rate last year in her film “The 904.” UNF criminology professor Dr. Michael Hallett used the film as a template for a graduate research project on Duval County crime, and found that despite ditching the title of “Murder Capital,” the city remains virtually tied with homicide leader Miami-Dade, and has seen a 50 percent spike in handgunrelated crime. This recent data and select clips from the film are part of a panel discussion that includes Public Defender Matt Shirk, School Board member Betty Burney and Civil Rights pioneer Alton Yates, among others. The 904 Project: A Town Hall Event is held Tuesday, Nov. 29 at 6 p.m. at University of North Florida’s Student Union Ballroom, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-1000.

LIGHT IT UP! CHRISTMAS TREES

The Jacksonville Landing holds its Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on Friday, Nov. 25 at 7 p.m. in the Courtyard at 2 Independent Drive, downtown. Synchronized Christmas tree light shows, held from 6 p.m.-12:15 a.m., run through Dec. 31. 353-1188. Fernandina Beach celebrates on Saturday, Nov. 26 from noon-6 p.m. with a tree-lighting ceremony and a photo-friendly Santa Claus at the corner of Front Street and Center Street, Fernandina Beach. ameliaisland.com World Golf Village kicks off its annual Festival of Trees on Friday, Dec. 2, held from 9 a.m.-9 p.m. through Dec. 10, and 9 a.m.-3 p.m. on Dec. 11 at 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine. 940-4015. The awesome Surf Illumination is also held on Dec. 2, with a tree-lighting and Santa, at the county pier, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. 347-8007.

JAGS VS. TEXANS

Oh, ye of little faith! Even though our hometown boys are down 2-5 in the season, Folio Weekly hasn’t given up hope that the teal-and-black attack will get back on track. The Jacksonville Jaguars take on the Houston Texans on Sunday, Nov. 27 at 1 p.m. at EverBank Field, 1 EverBank Field Drive, Jacksonville. Tickets range from $45-$270. 633-6100. NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 19


Check the Mic: Leonardo DiCaprio delivers an Oscarworthy performance in director Clint Eastwood’s winning biopic “J. Edgar.”

I Spy

Leonardo DiCaprio gives an arresting performance as the infamous original FBI director J. Edgar

***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

A

20 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

t one point in Clint Eastwood’s new biopic about John Edgar Hoover, the founding father of the FBI as we know it today, the young J. Edgar (Leonardo DiCaprio) is informed by the proprietor of a clothing store that his line of credit is in doubt because of the multiple names by which he is known — John, Johnny, J. Edgar or just Edgar. The otherwise throwaway scene is significant because it focuses on DiCaprio signing his name as J. Edgar, the signature and name by which Hoover would be best known by generations of Americans. Just as importantly, the scene emphasizes the film’s exploration of Hoover as a man of many identities — to the American public as well as to those who knew him personally, either as friends or enemies. Covering nearly 50 years of Hoover’s life, “J. Edgar” is understandably sketchy as well as ambitious in scope. Featuring an absolutely riveting performance by DiCaprio, much of it in makeup as an older Hoover, Eastwood’s 32nd turn as director is another substantive effort, but ultimately falls short of its lofty ambitions. Regardless of what it fails to do, however, the film is solid entertainment, which, like Robert Redford’s “The Conspirator” (another film by a matinee-idol-turned-director), deals with real people at strategic points in American history. To that degree, the movie is instructive and provocative, whatever the broad distinctions between fact and fiction. The film’s greatest liability is the script by Dustin Lance Black (Oscar winner for “Milk”). Foregoing the traditional chronological narrative, Black’s approach to Hoover’s story moves back and forth in time, tracing the little man’s ascendancy through the Justice Department and the development of his curious personal relationships, from a variety of perspectives. Though it’s an innovative treatment to a complex subject, the changing historical background that shaped Hoover (and which he himself helped to shape) is sometimes disorienting. The man served under eight presidents, and “J. Edgar” manages to include references to the more famous scandals with which Hoover (fictional or factual) was associated — the extra-marital dalliances of

Eleanor Roosevelt, Jack Kennedy and Martin Luther King. Hoover and the FBI’s crusade against American gangsters of the ’20s and ’30s is largely sacrificed in order to focus on the Lindbergh kidnapping case which (arguably) cemented the strength and eminence of Hoover’s power with the Bureau. The movie touches on the major elements of the two-year investigation that resulted in the conviction and execution of Bernard Hauptmann, but skirts around the enormous controversies surrounding the case. What’s emphasized instead is Hoover’s dedication to the emerging forensic sciences and his efforts to centralize identification tools like fingerprinting. While the broader historical aspects of “J. Edgar” are fascinating if irritatingly sketchy, the movie is more vividly focused on the man’s personal relationships with his mother Anne Marie (Judi Dench), his lifelong secretary Helen Gandy (Naomi Watts) and his closest friend and associate Clyde Tolson (Armie Hammer). After Hoover’s death in 1972, the legendary control freak was “uncloseted” by several biographers anxious to highlight both his prejudices and his sexual peculiarities. Clint Eastwood certainly delves into this side of Hoover, but the result is not the hatchet job one might expect. Instead, we get a look at an extremely complex man who was both a dedicated patriot and a self-serving egotist. Sexually and emotionally insecure, the Hoover of “J. Edgar” is by turns admirable and despicable, but always credible. Whether or not the movie itself is more fiction than fact, like Oliver Stone’s remarkable fantasy “JFK,” is another matter. The film’s highlight is DiCaprio’s commanding performance, which is sure to win him an Oscar nomination. Dench, of course, is terrific as usual as J. Edgar’s domineering mother, and Watts is also quite good as the loyal secretary. Not so fortunate in the important role as Hoover’s friend and would-be lover is Armie Hammer, who’s severely handicapped through half the movie by unconvincing age makeup. The screenplay is the real problem with “J. Edgar,” though, not the performances and certainly not Eastwood’s seemingly effortless direction. It’s exciting to watch a movie like “J. Edgar,” which radiates professionalism and intelligence in nearly every scene. Despite its flaws, I’ll take it over most of the movies I see. Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com


Gods and Monsters’ Ball

“Immortals” is an expert blend of fantasy brains and special effects brawn Immortals ***@

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd.

C

omparisons of the new sandals-and-swords epic “Immortals” to 2006’s “300” are inevitable. But don’t let that color your judgment. Sure, both feature chiseled, scantily clad men slicing each other to bits in the name of pride. Yes, both rely heavily on CGI to capture bloody battles in all their crimson digital 3D glory. Both are based on ancient mythology and use war as a metaphor for life’s great struggles. There’s a lot of yelling in both movies, and at least one inspirational speech given by a very dirty and battle-worn hero. Both pivot on a scene involving two armies clashing in a narrow passageway. And both were co-produced by Mark Canton. But the comparisons end there. “Immortals” is a better film in just about every way. It’s gorgeous to look at, front-loaded with action and there is, oddly enough, a wealth of substance and subtext. That description may seem hyperbolic, but there is little about “Immortals” that isn’t. One’s sense of scale is immediately thrown in the opening sequence, and is kept off-balance throughout. Everything — everything — is bigger, more violent or more beautiful than one may imagine. Yet while director Tarsem Singh (“The Cell”) goes big with visuals, he smartly reigns in any temptation to clutter his film with 3D distractions. Nearly half of the movie passes without so much as a stray spear or burst of blood mist lofting into the audience. It’s only during the later battle sequences that Singh fully employs the device, and the effect is brilliant for the heightened anticipation. The film opens with a touch of backstory and a bit of soothsaying. As seen through the mind’s eye of the virgin oracle Phaedra (Freida Pinto), the Titans, imprisoned deep in a mountain on Tartarus, are unleashed by an arrow shot from the Epirus Bow, a magical weapon that bestows upon its bearer limitless fighting power. The event is yet to happen, but inevitable unless Titan king Hyperion is brought down. The Olympians, fearing an attack as prophesied by the oracle, flee their mountainside village, but the peasants and outcasts are left behind, told by the ruling class that they must

wait a day before departing. Young warrior Theseus (Henry Cavill) knows this means certain doom for his people and puts himself at risk to save them, in the process exposing himself as a worthy and loyal fighter. He is subsequently recruited, along with slave-thief Stavros (Stephen Dorff ), to defend against Hyperion’s army. Hyperion, knowing that possessing the Epirus Bow would ensure the release of the Titan warriors and thus secure his victory over all humanity, searches for Phaedra, whose visions will reveal the bow’s location. While this battle rages, the gods — Zeus, Athena and the rest of the gang — watch from above, witnessing the brutal slaughter, unwilling to intervene. Zeus himself has declared that unless the Titans are released, no god shall lend a hand. And so the scene is set for fisticuffs between muscular men and blood-thirsty beasts, a lusty virgin deflowering, and a metaphysical twist or two — all too predictable. What is surprising, however, are the questions the film raises about classism, eugenics and the horrors of war, not to mention the theological implications of gods capable of ending the suffering of millions, but choosing to do nothing. Even in the age of polytheism, there were atheists, and Theseus was one. His disbelief and conversion (when he actually sees Zeus with his own eyes) dredge up age-old debates, and stoke doubts about the true power of the omnipotent and the true wisdom of the omniscient. Deeper still run the questions of war’s heroes and villains. Whose side is god (or are the gods) really on? And in the shadow of war, isn’t everyone a big fat loser? If crediting “Immortals” with such philosophical heft seems a little ridiculous, consider that this is a movie which revels in its own ridiculousness. Mickey Rourke is ridiculously grotesque as the vengeful Hyperion. John Hurt, as a village elder, is ridiculously at peace with the death and carnage that has surrounded him for ages. And the final battle between the Titans and the skygods is ridiculously well put together. Shot in fast-to-slow motion — not unlike similar scenes in genre forerunner “The Matrix” — the sequence is far from gratuitous. It is, instead, a climatic art piece, a perfect blend of spectacular choreography, highly detailed GCI and unexpected 3D trickery. John E. Citrone themail@folioweekly.com

Theseus (Henry Cavill) makes a little elbow room, Ancient Greek-style, in the epic adventure “Immortals.”

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 21


FILM RATINGS **** ***@ **@@ *@@@

CRANBERRY SAUCE RASPBERRY BERET GOOSEBERRY PIE CHUCK BERRY SEX TAPE

NOW SHOWING ARTHUR CHRISTMAS **@@ Rated PG • Opens in area theaters on Nov. 23 This British import is an animated fantasy featuring the voice work of James McAvoy, Hugh Laurie and Jim Broadbent. It’s the story of Santa Claus’ son Arthur who’s tasked with completing his first-ever Christmas Eve toy delivery. COURAGEOUS **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Regal Avenues A faith-based film about four police officers navigating different stages of fatherhood. DOLPHIN TALE **@@ Rated PG • Cinemark Tinseltown This family-geared tale, starring Harry Connick Jr., Morgan Freeman and Nathan Gamble, is about a young dolphin named Winter and her search for a life with “porpoise.” FOOTLOOSE **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues This remake of the ’80s film stars Kenny Wormald as a Boston teen who moves to the Deep South only to discover — egad! — that dancing is not only frowned upon but nay … dare we say it? … banned by the local killjoy clergyman Shaw Moore (Dennis Quaid). We miss Kevin Bacon. HAPPY FEET TWO **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., World Golf IMAX Theater This sequel to the popular animated tale revisits Mumble the penguin (voiced by Elijah Wood) his son Erik (E.G. Daily). Mumble wants Erik to follow in his talented footsteps and cultivate a passion for dancing, but Erik has other ideas — like flying. The ensemble cast includes Hank Azaria, Common, Matt Damon, Robin Williams and Pink. THE HELP **G@ Rated PG-13 • Regal Avenues Emma Stone and Viola Davis star in this tale set in 1960s Mississippi, about a young woman who collects the stories of African-American women in her town who’ve spent their lives working for white families — and publishes them in a sensational book. HUGO ***@ Rated PG • Opens in area theaters on Nov. 23 Martin Scorcese tries his luck at 3D fantasy fi lmmaking

with this story (based on Brian Selznick’s popular novel, “The Invention of Hugo Cabret”) of the orphan boy Hugo (Asa Butterfield) who lives in the walls of a Paris train station and enters a magical realm of adventure. An ensemble cast including Chloë Moretz, Ben Kingsley, Jude Law, Sacha Baron Cohen and Christopher Lee makes “Hugo” a surefire holiday hit. IMMORTALS ***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Reviewed in this issue. IN TIME *@@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried star in this mediocre sci-fi offering about immortality that seems to drag on forfreakin’-ever. Oh, the irony! JACK AND JILL **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. This holiday comedy features Adam Sandler starring in dual roles as siblings Jack and Jill, who hope they can survive Hanukkah and each other. Al Pacino and Katie Holmes also star. J. EDGAR ***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Reviewed in this issue. THE MUPPETS **@@ Rated PG • Opens in area theaters on Nov. 23 Human stars Amy Adams, Jason Segel and Chris Cooper join Jim Henson’s ragtag gang of beloved creatures, The Muppets. In this latest offering, Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Beaker, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Sgt. Floyd Pepper try to stop a greedy oil tycoon from seizing their theater. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3 **@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Third offering from this popular series about one pesky and persistent demon. In this prequel, we discover how sisters Katie and Kristi first came into contact with the evil presence, delivered with the expected surveillance-style footage that made the other films such spooky hits. PUSS IN BOOTS **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. The animated family film from the “Shrek”-meisters, with Antonio Banderas voicing Puss and Zach Galifinakis in for Humpty Dumpty, also features Salma Hayek, Amy Sedaris and Guillermo del Toro, in a paint-bythe-numbers fur-filled fantasy that never rises to the level of humor or inventiveness of the original “Shrek” movies. REAL STEEL *G@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Hugh Jackman stars in this silly sci-fi story about boxing robots that should’ve been KO’d on the cutting-room floor.

“Hey, babe, don’t freak out but … there’s, like, blood on your lip … Oh, never mind. Silly me!” Teen heartthrobs Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson work on their communication skills and stuff in the latest vampire mania offering “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part One.”

22 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

ROCKSTAR **@@ Not Rated • AMC Regency Square A young man thinks he needs to suffer to be a successful musician, so he pops the

“We will hold court on the street, son!” The Mighty Sven (voiced by Hank Azaria) and Mumble (Elijah Wood) decide to settle this “can penguins fly” debate once and for all in the animated family fare “Happy Feet Two.”

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

question to a girl he has no chance in hell of ever even dating, much less marrying. THE RUM DIARY ***@ Rated R • Epic Theatre St. Augustine Based on Hunter S. Thompson’s novel, “The Rum Diary” stars Johnny Depp as a journalist who encounters treachery, intrigue and — spoiler alert! — lots of rum during a freelance writing gig in Puerto Rico. With Giovanni Ribisi and Aaron Eckhart. TOWER HEIST *G@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. This comedy caper about the hijinks of bumbling amateur criminals (including Ben Stiller, Matthew Broderick, Eddie Murphy and Casey Affleck), an FBI agent (Tea Leoni) and a devious white-collar criminal (Alan Alda) never really leaves the ground floor due to a weak script. But it’s nice to see the very funny Murphy in an adult role again. THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. EEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner return in this latest from the fang gang. The wolf pack and vampire clan are closing in on expectant parents Edward (Pattinson) and Bella (Stewart). Co-starring Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke (no, not the Good Witch from Oz), Sarah Clarke and Jackson (OMG!) Rathbone. A VERY HAROLD AND KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS **@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. This latest from the “420”-friendly comedy franchise features the return of stars John Cho and Kal Penne as hemp-driven dudes navigating the streets of NYC on a crazy, holiday adventure that will appeal only to diehards and burnouts. Cameos by Patton Oswalt, RZA and Neil Patrick Harris give this doped-up duo’s seasonal blend a mild buzz.

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

OTHER FILMS POT BELLY’S CINEMA “Anonymous,” “Contagion,” “The Guard” and “Straw Dogs” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101. WGHOF IMAX THEATER “Happy Feet Two” is screened along with “Puss In Boots 3D,” “Legends of Flight 3D,” “Rescue 3D,” “The Wildest Dream: Conquest of Everest,” “Born To Be Wild 3D,” “Hubble 3D” and “Under The Sea 3D” are shown at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES Johnny Depp returns as swashbuckling anti-hero Capt. Jack Sparrow — this time around, he’s in cahoots with Blackbeard (Ian McShane) and the dreaded pirate’s daughter Angelica (Penélope Cruz) in a frantic race to find the legendary Fountain of Youth. ATLAS SHRUGGED: PART ONE Based on Ayn Rand’s 1957 sci-fi tome about the dystopian America of 2016, director Paul Johansson’s adaptation starring Taylor Schilling, Grant Bowler and Michael O’Keefe (aka Danny Noonan from “Caddyshack”!) is as dense as the source material that still appeals to Rand Loyalists. THREE AMIGOS “Would you say I have a plethora of piñatas?” John Landis’ hilarious (and highly quotable) cult comedy classic from ’86 stars Steve Martin, Chevy Chase and Martin Short as three out-of-work silent-film stars who mistakenly agree to stop the Mexican criminal El Guapo from terrorizing a village. This Blu-ray edition features a restored print and audio along with unseen footage. X: THE UNHEARD MUSIC Originally shot on 16mm, this digital reissue of director W.T. Morgan’s long-out-of-print ’80s documentary about incendiary L.A. punks “X” features candid interviews and fiery live performance footage of the original line-up including Exene Cervenka, John Doe, Billy Zoom and D.J. Bonebrake. There’s a sweet rendition of Hank Williams’ “Ramblin’ Man” performed by Cervenka and Doe, filmed in their living room.


Boombox Bust Out: Rapper Mac Miller performs at The Florida Theatre on Nov. 23.

MAC MILLER with PAC DIV and CASEY VEGGIES Wednesday, Nov. 23 at 8 p.m. The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville Advance tickets are $28.50; $33.50 day of show 355-2787

A

19-year-old white rapper from Pittsburgh walks into a sold-out major concert hall … sounds like the build-up to a bad punch line, right? It’s not — it’s Mac Miller’s life these days. After dropping numerous mixtapes and singles in high school, Miller is now on the road and soaking up the limelight of massive stardom. He’s garnered headlines like “Hip Hop’s New Crown Prince” in the weeks since his debut full-length, “Blue Slide Park,” was released on independent hometown label Rostrum Records. Donald Trump even called Miller “the next Eminem” — after the video for Miller’s uber-popular “Donald Trump” single notched 30 million YouTube views, of course. Other numbers shed further light on the surprising Mac Miller phenomenon: 1.1 million Twitter followers. 1.5 million Facebook fans. Over 180 million combined views on his YouTube page. And, less than three days after “Blue Slide Park” came out on Nov. 8, forecasts of nearly 200,000 units sold in its first week, placing the album firmly at the top of the Billboard charts and marking the first independent rap release to do so since 1995’s “Dogg Food” by Tha Dogg Pound. It’s this kind of startling success that’s earned Miller press from mainstream outlets like Business Insider, who described him as “The White Rapper Who Turned Twitter Followers into Millions of Dollars.” Many have heralded him as the new business model for social mediafocused 21st-century music. Miller was even featured on the cover of Billboard Magazine’s Nov. 12 issue. Of course, those outside the music business — especially those who have no stake in seeing Miller’s career trajectory continue endlessly upward, pulling the sagging industry along with him — point out the obvious: This kid isn’t exactly the best rapper in the world. The

comparisons to Eminem? “Purely skin color,” according to one critic. And it’s arguable how much social impact Miller’s particular brand of feel-good frat-rap has on the world. But it’s also damn impressive how Miller has succeeded without the usual stamps of establishment approval. While XXL Magazine did feature him in its 2011 Freshman Class, Miller’s only real connection in the rap world is with fellow Pittsburgh native Wiz Khalifa, who also started out on Rostrum Records before signing to a major label. “Blue Slide Park” features none of the requisite high-profile guest spots regularly used to push rap singles. And

He’s also adamant about remaining with hometown label Rostrum Records, though. Execs Benjy Grinberg (who attended the same high school as Miller) and Arthur Pitt, two of the rapper’s earliest supporters, were quick to sign him once his mixtapes and online presence started blowing up. It was a smart move on their part; 60,000 copies of Miller’s EP “On and On and Beyond” have been sold, along with a combined one million copies of singles like “Donald Trump,” “Knock Knock” and “Frick Park Market.” The team even dreamed up an innovative promotion for “Blue Slide Park,” offering varying levels of rewards depending on

“I’ll never pretend to have an inspiring story like certain people,” he told Billboard Magazine earlier this month. “There are people who have deep messages... [but] it’s not my place to say [about things like that]. I just make music that’s hip hop.” the album’s production isn’t handled by any indemand names, but rather by Miller’s local I.D. Labs crew. Most importantly, Miller has publicly acknowledged that his privileged upbringing — son of an architect and photographer, he attended Catholic school, played football and lacrosse — recuses himself from any hardcore hip-hop street cred. “I’ll never pretend to have an inspiring story like certain people,” he told Billboard Magazine earlier this month. “There are people who have deep messages … [but] it’s not my place to say [about things like that]. I just make music that’s hip hop.” Miller deserves more credit than that, though; his live shows feature the usual swaggering, youthful rhymes, but Miller also dons a Gretsch guitar to shred through Skynyrd, Weezer and The Beatles mash-ups. Miller has acknowledged he wants to be “Beatles big,” too: “When it’s all said and done, I want to change what’s on the radio,” he coyly told Billboard.

presale numbers. As Miller has said in numerous interviews, “I want to see if we can change the game, change the industry … it’s inspiring a lot of kids to really try and do it themselves.” Speaking of those kids: As of Nov. 9, 30 of Miller’s 43 upcoming fall tour dates had sold out — and marketing info shows that virtually all of those tickets are being sold to teenagers and twenty-somethings. Given the $25-$35 price range at upscale venues like House of Blues and The Florida Theatre, we have to assume most of those kids are of the middle-class suburban persuasion, too. Hip-hop heads might scoff at building a career on that fan base, but it doesn’t seem to faze Mac Miller one bit. “I’m not here to be a teenybopper sensation,” he affirmed to Billboard. “I make music because I love making music. So whoever wants to love it, that’s who I want as my fans.” Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 23


Corey Towers

Space Ritual

The dynamic duo Prince Rama delivers cosmic blues and galactic jams to the tribe of the new century PRINCE RAMA with NAVIGATEUR, MATRIX INFINITY, EASTERN EUROPEANS, KOAS and MON CUL Monday, Nov. 28 at 9 p.m. Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville 353-4686

PRINCE RAMA at RED MOON FEST Friday, Dec. 2 at 9 p.m. The Present Moment Café, 224 W. King St., St. Augustine 827-4499

B

reak out your ceremonial robes, goatskin drums and sequined headgear, because Prince Rama brings its psychedelic electro-pop to © 2011 Northeast Florida at two upcoming shows. But rest assured — sisters Taraka and Nimai Larson, who grew up in a Hare Krishna community outside Gainesville, aren’t as crazy as their Sanskrit chants, utopian architectural theories and finite meta-structures make them sound. Interspersing devotional noise collages with pop melodies, trance-inducing rhythmic grooves and Bollywood flourishes, the sisters who comprise Prince Rama appear polite and approachable — quite the opposite of their music. Folio Weekly chatted with Taraka Larson about the band’s diagrammatic philosophies and bridging the boundaries of music, art and ritual.

Folio Weekly: You and your sister Nimai grew up in a Hare Krishna community. How did that influence Prince Rama’s tribal, ambient and psychedelic sound? Taraka Larson: Well, we grew up around those chants and mantras, which are really inspiring to listen to. Listening to that definitely changed how we listened to other music. But art and architecture also inspire us. [An] artist, Paul Laffoley, that I worked for, did a lot of maps and diagrams about how to enter space, how to deal with the idea of utopia and how to build structures that house the idea of the infinite within the finite. That made me think about music in that way as well, building these metastructures for people to listen to and these structures of sounds for ourselves.

24 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

F.W.: You and your sister invest a lot into Prince Rama’s live show, performing underneath insane visuals by artist Julius Bozeman. Are you actively trying to elevate the concert to a higher realm?

Om Sweet Om: Taraka and Nimai Larson are the trippy electro combo Prince Rama.

“We were on tour and homeless for a while, and I liked the momentum and spontaneity of that. Every night was something different, being constantly reawakened and meeting new people.” T.L.: I definitely look at the concert space as a sort of ritual space where mass consciousness can be found through music. That fits into this idea of the architecture of utopia — the experience we’re trying to create is based on music tapping into that realm of the infinite. F.W.: Skeptics are going to read this and think, “Whoa, these girls are way out there.” Do you and your sister have more conventional musical sides? T.L.: Oh yeah, definitely — we listen to a lot of cheesy stuff in the car. Elvis, Ace of Base, Hanson … plus a lot of weird world pop music. I’m really into Sublime Frequencies, the label started by the Sun City Girls. They go around the world and record obscure Top 40 radio stations, which is amazing. F.W.: Founding band member Michael Collins left in 2010. Has it been easy to downshift to a duo? T.L.: Not at all — it was really hard. But it was also a long time coming, even though with any transition, there are growing pains. We were really close to Michael, but he’s doing solo stuff now, which is really good. My sister and I have gotten closer and closer from the experience, too; I feel like our music is a lot more whittled down to its basic structural elements now, which is empowering.

F.W.: You’ve also been part of an artistin-residency gig at Issue Project Room in Brooklyn. How has that influenced the band? T.L.: It’s an amazing space that really bridges art, noise and visuals, which is the direction I really want to move in. It’s hard to roll into a venue for a show and only have 30 minutes to sound-check before your set. You can phonically create a space within a space, but at Issue we can come in a few days early and really create an environment for the sound to inhabit. F.W.: After growing up in Florida and starting out in Boston, it sounds like New York is the perfect home base for Prince Rama. T.L.: Oh, definitely — it’s so overwhelmingly stimulating and inspiring being here. No offense, but I couldn’t wait to get out of Florida; I was losing my mind there. And Boston was great for going to school, but once you graduate, you go, “Umm, what else do we do here?” We were on tour and homeless for a while, and I liked the momentum and spontaneity of that: Every night was something different, being constantly reawakened and meeting new people. [But] we wanted to live somewhere where you feel like you’re on tour all the time, and that’s totally New York. Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com


CONCERTS THIS WEEK TRAPPED UNDER ICE Baltimore-based thrash-heads Trapped Under Ice are on at 7 p.m. on Nov. 22 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. GENITORTURERS, KARL, MARION CRANE, FACTORY FETISH SHOW S&M and B&D rockers Genitorturers whip the crowd into a frenzy at 7 p.m. on Nov. 23 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS, BURN HALO, BET ME I’M LYING, 7 CIRCLE SUNRISE Local emo faves Red Jumpsuit Apparatus perform at 8 p.m. on Nov. 23 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $15. 246-2473. MAC MILLER, PAC DIV and CASEY VEGGIES Hip-hop artist Miller appears at 8 p.m. on Nov. 23 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $28.50; $33.50 day of show. 355-2787. BRYAN RIPPER Singer-songwriter Ripper plays at 9 p.m. on Nov. 23 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville. 854-6060. YANKEE SLICKERS These local blues-rock favorites are on at 10 p.m. on Nov. 23 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Tickets are $10. 247-6636. UNDERHILL FAMILY ORCHESTRA, LUKE PEACOCK The Americana kicks off at 9 p.m. on Nov. 24 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. 353-4686. COL. BRUCE HAMPTON and PHARAOH GUMMITT Jam band guru Col. Bruce Hampton appears at 10 p.m. on Nov. 24 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Tickets are $12. 247-6636. STEVE BRANCH & MARLON DEAN, ANDY GRIGGS This night of boot-scootin’ country kicks off at 6 p.m. on Nov. 25 at Mavericks, 2 Independent Drive, Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10; $15 and $20 at the door. 356-1110. AVENGED SEVENFOLD, A7X, HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD, ASKING ALEXANDRIA, BLACK VEIL BRIDES Metal rockers Avenged Sevenfold perform at 6:30 p.m. on Nov. 25 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $43.75. 630-3900.

ALAINA COLDING Singer-songwriter Colding appears at 7 p.m. on Nov. 25 at Three Layers CafĂŠ, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. FRANKIE BEVERLY & MAZE Tasty R&B and soul kick off at 8 p.m. on Nov. 25 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $57.50 and $65. 630-3900. TROPIC OF CANCER CD RELEASE PARTY with CHAD JASMINE, CANARY IN THE COALMINE, FAINTED PACES Tropic of Cancer celebrate the release of their album “Indiaâ€? at 8 p.m. on Nov. 25 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8. 398-7496. ROCCO BLU The local musician appears at 10 p.m. on Nov. 25 at Mojo No. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville. 381-6670. TIM O’SHEA Singer-songwriter O’Shea plays at 9 p.m. on Nov. 25 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville. 854-6060. SCREAMIN’ EAGLE CD RELEASE SHOW with KATIE GRACE HELOW Psychfolkie Screamin’ Eagle releases his debut album, “Hurricane,â€? at 9 p.m. on Nov. 25 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. 353-4686. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Lauren Fincham performs at 11:45 a.m. and Big Picture performs at 2:30 p.m. on Nov. 26 under the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, downtown. The Arts Market features local and regional artists, strolling performers, bands and a farmers market from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. through Dec. 554-6865. riversideartsmarket.com SKANKSGIVING with KONAMI CODE, SQUIRT GUN WARRIORS, HERMITS OF SUBURBIA, EL CHUPASKABRA, UNRB, SELF EMPLOYED, WON’T BE ARSED, WAYLAY, POOR RICHARDS, THE OTHER DAVE EXPERIENCE This post-Thanksgiving ska and punk fete kicks off at 1 p.m. on Nov. 29 at The Phoenix Taproom, 325 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Admission is $10. 798-8222. SUNBEARS! with JUICY PONY Electro pop kings Sunbears! celebrate the release of their latest album, “You Will Live Forever,â€? at 8 p.m. on Nov. 26 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8. 398-7496. THE BIG TICKET BATTLE OF THE BANDS FINAL

The final nine bands compete for inclusion in “The Big Ticketâ€? festival at 8 p.m. on Nov. 26 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $10. 246-2473. PEYTON BROTHERS This bluegrass combo is on at 8 p.m. on Nov. 26 at European Street CafĂŠ, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $15. 399-1740. JIMMY SOLARI Singer-songwriter Solari performs at 9 p.m. on Nov. 26 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville. 854-6060. GOLIATH FLORES Multi-instrumentalist Flores appears at 1 p.m. on Nov. 27 at Three Layers CafĂŠ, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. ARVID SMITH Journeyman musician Smith performs at 5 p.m. on Nov. 27 at European Street CafĂŠ, 992 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 399-1740. UNEARTH, CHIMAIRA, SKELETONWITCH, MOLOTOV SOLUTION The heavy rock kicks off at 8 p.m. on Nov. 27 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $20. 246-2473. GEORGE THOROGOOD & THE DESTROYERS The “Bad to the Boneâ€? blues rockers from the Blue Hen State perform at 7 p.m. on Nov. 28 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Tickets are $38. 209-0399. PRINCE RAMA with NAVIGATEUR, MATRIX INFINITY, EASTERN EUROPEANS, KOAS and MON CUL Psych rockers Prince Rama appear at 9 p.m. on Nov. 28 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. 353-4686. THIN LIZZY These legendary Irish hard rockers play at 7 p.m. on Nov. 29 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Advance tickets are $28; $35 day of show. 209-0399. DAVID BAZAN, SCREAMIN’ EAGLE Pedro the Lion frontman Bazan appears at 7 p.m. on Nov. 29 at CafĂŠ Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Tickets are $10. 460-9311.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

November 23

Neil Freestone November 25 & 26

The Mix

,JOH 4USFFU t 4U "VHVTUJOF t

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“Join us for Blues, Rock & Funk�

THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS Burn Halo

bet me i’m lying/seven circle sunrise FRIDAY NOVEMBER 25

Velgato SATURDAY NOVEMBER 26

The Big TickeT BaTTle Finals

THE TOP 9 BANDS from 5pm-1am SUNDAY NOVEMBER 27

UNEARTH/CHIMAIRA

Skeletonwitch/Molotov Solution THURSDAY DECEMBER 1

BLACKBERRY SMOKE Bonnie Blue/CorBitt Bros FRIDAY DECEMBER 2

BOREDOM

Hurricane Gun/THe uprise UPCOMING CONCERTS

AXE MURDER BOYZ Nov. 30, Brewster’s Pit JOE LOUIS WALKER Dec. 1, Mojo Kitchen ST. JOHNS RIVER CITY BIG BAND Dec. 1, Prime Osborn

SATURDAY DECEMBER 3

Livewire TaTToo freebird 10th Anniversary Party KINGS OF HELL/BIGFOOT

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

The Best Live Music in St. Augustine!

FreebirdLive.com 200 N. 1st St., Jax Beach, FL • 904.246.BIRD (2473) WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 23

FRIDAY DECEMBER 9

PERPETUAL GROOVE/ Mon-

TuesWed-

Mens Night Out Beer Pong 7pm $1 Draft $5 Pitchers Free Pool ALL U CAN EAT CRABLEGS Texas Hold ’Em STARTS AT 7 P.M. Bar Bingo/Karaoke ALL U CAN EAT WINGS KIDS EAT FREE FROM 5 P.M. TO 9 P.M. HAPPY HOUR ALL NIGHT

Thurs-

CLOSED HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Fri-

Super Natural - 9:30pm 1/2 PRICE APPS-FRI (BAR ONLY) 4-7PM DECK MUSIC 5 P.M.-9 P.M. Super Natural - 9:30pm ACOUSTIC AFTERNOONS 5-9 P.M.

SatSun-

Live Reggae Music Rezolution 5-9 P.M.

The Movement SATURDAY DECEMBER 10

Big Sean SUNDAY DECEMBER 11

ThE SkRiLLEx CELL THURSDAY DECEMBER 15

Protest the hero Scale the Summit, laSt chance to ReaSon SATURDAY DECEMBER 17

Sidereal/ Crazy Carls Yamadeo/Livication UPCOMING SHOWS 12-23: Inspection 12/Whaleface 12-31: Nate Holley’s New Year’s Eve 1-5:

Galactic/Toubab Krewe

1-25: G-Love & Special Sauce 1-28: Spider Monkey/Hornit 2-17: Passafire 2-18: Attack Attack

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 25

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV


Center MUSHROOMHEAD Dec. 1, Brewster’s Pit PRINCE RAMA Dec. 2, The Present Moment Café ANTHONY HAMILTON Dec. 2, T-U Center DECK DOGZ Dec. 2, Mojo No. 4 THE WAILERS Dec. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ALEX BUGNON Dec. 3, Ritz Theatre ROCCO BLU Dec. 3, Mojo No. 4 KINGS OF SALSA Dec. 3, T-U Center BOON DOX Dec. 3, Brewster’s Pit THE BIG TICKET: SUBLIME with ROME, A DAY TO REMEMBER, SURFER BLOOD Dec. 4, Metropolitan Park WILL PEARSALL Dec. 4, European Street Jax Beach DANCE GAVIN DANCE Dec. 4, Freebird Live COTTON JONES, QUIET LIFE, WETLANDS Dec. 4, Café Eleven MIDNIGHT CLEAR Dec. 6, European Street San Marco TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Dec. 8, Veterans Memorial Arena PIERCE PETTIS Dec. 8, European Street San Marco LEE BRICE Dec. 9, Mavericks 12 STONES, ALLELE, THE EMBRACED Dec. 9, Brewster’s Pit SHAWN LIGHTFOOT & THE BRIGADE Dec. 9, Mojo No. 4 THE WOOD BROTHERS Dec. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JIMMY THACKERY Dec. 10, Mojo Kitchen ABK Dec. 10, Brewster’s Pit BAY STREET Dec. 10, Mojo No. 4 SKILLREX, 12th PLANET, TWO FRESH Dec. 11, Freebird Live HOLIDAY SOUL with RICHARD STREET Dec. 11, Times-Union Center A PETER WHITE CHRISTMAS with MINDI ABAIR & KIRK WHALUM Dec. 14, The Florida Theatre MACHINA, DOWN THEORY Dec. 16, Brewster’s Pit CANARY IN THE COALMINE Dec. 16, Mojo No. 4 BURN SEASON Dec. 17, Brewster’s Pit TOOTS LORRAINE & THE TRAFFIC Dec. 17, Mojo No. 4 JAVIER COLON Dec. 20, The Florida Theatre STRAIGHT NO CHASER Dec. 21, The Florida Theatre GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Dec. 23, Mojo No. 4 MERRY ICE-MAS 2 with DJ ICEY, DJ MAGIC MIKE, WAVEWHORE Dec. 25, Pure THE SCREAM TOUR with BOW WOW, NE-YO, T.I., CHRIS BROWN, OMARION, B2K, TREY SONGZ, CIARA, T-PAIN, LLOYD, NICK CANNON Dec. 27, T-U Center’s Moran Theater TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND Dec. 28, The Florida Theatre

DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin Latin JJ GREY & MOFRO, YANKEE SLICKERS Dec. 29, Mavericks every Fri. BREAD & BUTTER Dec. 30, Mojo No. 4 STARBUCKS, 9301 Atlantic Blvd., 724-4554 Open mic with DR. BILL Dec. 31, Mojo No. 4 AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH Starbucks Trio from 8-11 p.m. every other Fri. CHERYL WHEELER Jan. 4, Café Eleven BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech St., 277-3662 John TONINO’S TRATTORIA, 7001 Merrill Rd., 743-3848 Alaina BOREDOM Jan. 7, Café Eleven Springer on Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph Colding every Thur. W. Harvey Williams at 6 p.m. every Fri. WINTER JAM TOUR: SKILLET, NEWSONG, SANCTUS REAL, every Sun. Signature String Quartet every Sat. KARI JOBE Jan. 13, Veterans Memorial Arena CAFE KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269 Live music in the VIP LOUNGE, 7707 Arlington Xprway, 619-8198 Karaoke RUBEN STUDDARD Jan. 13, Ritz Theatre courtyard at 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., at 5 p.m. every Sun. at 9 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Wed. Reggae every Thur. GREGG ALLMAN Jan. 13, The Florida Theatre DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Live Live music every Fri. Old school jams every Sat. A DJ spins RAT PACK REVUE Jan. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall music every weekend every Sun. GORDON LIGHTFOOT Jan. 22, The Florida Theatre GENNARO’S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., TRAVIS TRITT Jan. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. JIMMY BUFFETT Jan. 31, Veterans Memorial Arena AVONDALE, ORTEGA GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan THE CIVIL WARS Feb. 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Voll from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend RICHARD THOMPSON ELECTRIC TRIO Feb. 2, Ponte Vedra BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet INDIGO ALLEY, 316 Centre St., 261-7222 Dan Voll & the Concert Hall every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush Alley Cats at 8 p.m. every Sat. Frankie’s Jazz Jam at 7:30 MICHAEL FEINSTEIN Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre Doctors every 1st Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. p.m. every Tue. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Thur. Live music KELLY CLARKSON, MATT NATHANSON Feb. 2, T-U Center’s THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 every Fri. & Sat. Moran Theater Goliath Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music O’KANE’S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll at WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY Feb. 8, The Florida Theatre every Mon. 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Turner London Band at 8:30 p.m. every THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins Thur., Fri. & Sat. RASCAL FLATTS Feb. 9, Veterans Memorial Arena for Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. DJs THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELD’S, 117 Centre St., THE AHN TRIO Feb. 10, The Florida Theatre SuZi-Rok, LowKill & Mowgli spin for Chillwave Madness 491-3332 BSP Unplugged every Tue. & Sun. Wes Cobb every THE AVETT BROTHERS Feb. 11, The Florida Theatre every Mon. Wed. DJ Heavy Hess, Hupp & Rob every Thur. Live music every PATRIZIO BUANNE Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez in Sheffield’s every Fri. DJ Heavy THE SAW DOCTORS Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PABLO CRUISE Feb. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip Hess every Sat. Cason every Mon. DARK STAR ORCHESTRA Feb. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall hop, R&B, old-school every Thur. DJ Catharsis spins lounge PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, WYNTON MARSALIS March 4, The Florida Theatre beats every 1st & 4th Sat. Patrick Evan & CoAlition every 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. HENRY ROLLINS (SPOKEN WORD) March 11, Ponte Vedra Industry Sun. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., Concert Hall MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Rocco Blu at 277-6990 Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. TONY BENNETT March 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre 10 p.m. on Nov. 25. John Emil on Nov. 26 THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Live music WILSON PHILLIPS March 21, The Florida Theatre TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Live Tue.-Sun. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed. ANOUSHKA SHANKAR March 22, The Florida Theatre music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat. SUWANNEE SPRINGFEST with YONDER MOUNTAIN ARLINGTON, REGENCY STRING BAND, PETER ROWAN & TONY RICE, JUSTIN BAYMEADOWS TOWNES EARLE March 23-25, Spirit of the Suwannee Music AJ’S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 Park THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. JAKE SHIMABUKURO March 30, The Florida Theatre Roy Luis spinsby new & Sales vintage original TOWER OF POWERof Aprilbenefit 12, The Florida Theatre Produced 642-7600 by ab DJChecked Rephouse dl at promise sUpportKaraoke every Thur.Ask for Action 9 p.m. every Thur. MEEHAN’S TAVERN, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5, 551-7076 ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE IMPOSTERS April 27, GATOR’S DOCKSIDE, 8650 Baymeadows Rd., 448-0500 Karaoke every Wed. Live music every Fri. Open mic every Wed. The Florida Theatre Comfort Zone Band at 9 p.m. every Fri. MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 EDGAR WINTER BAND May 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 737-5299 Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other PLUSH, RAIN, LAVA, 845 University Blvd. N., 745-1845

• CLUBS •

Advertising proof this is a copyright protected proof ©

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 112211 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

San Marco : Tues. nov 22

• Robin Stine • Joshua Bowlus Trio

Tues. nov 29

• Just Jazz Quintet

Beach Blvd. : euro ( U ) at

niversity

Sat. Nov 26

• The Peyton Brothers

Jax Beach : Sun. Nov 27 • arvid Smith

26 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

aromas


Psych folkie Screamin’ Eagle (pictured) celebrates the release of his debut album “Hurricane,� with Katie Grace Helow at 9 p.m. on Nov. 25 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. 353-4686.

Tue. & Wed. OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri. TONY D’S NEW YORK PIZZA & RESTAURANT, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 322-7051 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri.

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt Lanham sings classical island music every Fri.-Sun. BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 4Play at 6 p.m. on Nov. 25. El Camino at 5:30 p.m. on Nov. 26. Incognito at 1 p.m. on Nov. 27

BLUES ROCK CAFE, 831 N. First St., 249-0007 Live music every weekend BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 DJ IBay every Tue., Fri. & Sat. DJ Ginsu every Wed. DJ Jade every Thur. Charlie Walker every Sun. CARIBBEE KEY, 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach, 270-8940 Mark O’Quinn on Nov. 23. Alex Seier on Nov. 24. Boogie Freaks on Nov. 25 & 26 CASA MARINA, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Live music on Nov. 23 COPPER TOP, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-4776 Karaoke with Billy McMahan, 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Open mic every Wed. CRAB CAKE FACTORY, 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza, 247-9880 Live jazz with Pierre & Co. every Wed. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach,

249-9595 Dune Dogs at 8 p.m. on Dec. 2 EL POTRO MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1553 Third St. N., 241-6910 Wilfredo Lopez every Wed. & Sat. ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337 Live music every Thur. EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001 Arvid Smith from 5-8 p.m. on Nov. 27 FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Burn Halo, Bet Me I’m Lying and 7 Circle Sunrise on Nov. 23. Big Ticket Battle final 9 bands on Nov. 26. Unearth, Chimaira, Skeletonwitch and Molotov Solution on Nov. 27 ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Billy Buchanan on Nov. 23. Nick Williams on Nov. 25. Tim O’Shea on Nov. 26. Jimmy Solari on Nov. 30 LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Roger That on Nov. 25 & 26. Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Nate Holley Band every Wed. Ryan Campbell every Thur. Wits End every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 270-0801 Live music at 3 p.m. every Sun. Open mic at 5 p.m. every Wed. DJ Jason hosts Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 Wits End on Nov. 23 & 24. Cowboys and Indians From the Future on Nov. 25. Live music every Wed.-Sat. MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon at 6 p.m. every Tue. Mike Shackelford and Rick Johnson at 6 p.m. every Thur. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Yankee Slickers on Nov. 23. Col. Bruce Hampton and Duane Trucks at 9 p.m. on Nov. 24 MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Wes Cobb at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Wed., Sat. & Sun. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Live music nightly NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Billy Bowers at 7:30 p.m. on Nov. 29. Live music every Thur.-Sat.

mojos

ADVERTISING PROOF This is a copyright protected proof Š

$1 Draft 18oz Cup Happy Hour

Mon: 2-4-1 Selected Cans For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 112211 Tues: All U Can Drink Draft FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 1 Person $15, 2 people $20/Karaoke PROMISE OF BENEFIT

SUPPORT

Wed: Bike Night, Happy Hour All Day

ASK FOR ACTION Produced by jw

Thurs: Karaoke, Free Draft for Ladies 9pm-1am, Mix Drinks 2 for $5

RL Checked by ____ Sales Rep ____

Fri & Sat: DJ Dave Ladies $5 All U Can Drink Draft. Starts at 9pm Sun: Happy Hour All Day/Karaoke Come Knock Your Boots Off 12405-7 N. Main St. | 647-7798

Wednesday Midlife Crisis Thursday HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Friday & Saturday Cloud 9 Sunday Bread & Butter

caribee

island

Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI t NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 27


OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Live music every weekend THE PIER RESTAURANT, 445 Eighth Ave. N., 246-6454 DJ Infader every Fri. Darren Corlew from 2-7 p.m. every Sun. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Midlife Crisis on Nov. 23. Cloud 9 on Nov. 25 & 26. Bread & Butter on Nov. 27. Billy Bowers on Nov. 30 RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 320 N. First St., 270-8565 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 Billy & Trevor on Nov. 23 & 27. Live music on Nov. 25. Swerved on Nov. 26. Live music every Wed.-Mon. SWAY GRILLE & MARTINI BAR, 1312 Beach Blvd., 249-5800 Cloud 9 at 7 p.m. on Nov. 23 THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Vinn spins top 40 for ladies nite every Thur. Ritmo y Sabor every Fiesta Fri. BayStreet mega party with DJ Shotgun every Sat. MAVERICKS, The Jacksonville Landing, 356-1110 Steve Branch, Marlon Dean and Andy Griggs on Nov. 25. Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Saddle Up every Sat. NORTHSTAR THE PIZZA BAR, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 Open mic night from 8:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

DOWNTOWN

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 John Earle on Nov. 23. Wes Cobb on Nov. 25. Open mic every Tue. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 406 Old Hard Rd., Ste. 106, 213-7779 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Karaoke on Nov. 23. Larry & the Backtracks at 5 p.m., Supernatural at 9:30 p.m. on Nov. 25. Tony Neal at 5 p.m., Supernatural at 9:30 p.m. on Nov. 26. Reggae on the deck with Rezolution at 5 p.m. on Nov. 27. DJ BG every Mon.

BURRO BAR, 228 E. Forsyth St., 353-4692 Underhill Family Orchestra, Buffalo Buffalo and Luke Peacock on Nov. 24. Screamin’ Eagle album release with Katie Grace Helow on Nov. 25. Rob Roy on Nov. 26. Prince Rama, Navigateur, Matrix Infinity, Eastern Europeans, Koas and Mon Cul on Nov. 28. DJ Tin Man spins reggae & dub every Tue. DJ SuZi-Rok spins a variety every Thur. $Big Bucks DJ Crew$ every Sat. Bert No Shirt & Uncle Jesse every Sun. CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz spins Motown, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Live music every Tue. & Thur. Smooth Jazz Lunch at 11 a.m., Latin music at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Ol’ Skool every last Fri. CLUB TSI, 333 E. Bay St. Live music every weekend DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 Live music every weekend DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth, 354-0666 DJ Synsonic spins every Tue. & Fri. DJ Rockin’ Bones spins every Wed. DJ Scandalous spins every Sat. DJ Randall Karaoke every Mon. THE JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 DA School of the Arts on Nov. 25. Grimm White Steed on Nov. 26. Hipp Street on Nov. 27. Holiday on the River Concerts start on Nov. 28 THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The

28 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

FLEMING ISLAND

INTRACOASTAL WEST BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Trapped Under Ice on Nov. 22. The Genitorturers, Karl, Marion Crane and Factory Fetish Show on Nov. 23. Electro Dance Party on Nov. 24. Axe Murder Boyz on Nov. 30 BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Open mic every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal & live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon.

BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. and Mon. CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Spanky the Band at 9 p.m. on Nov. 25 & 26. DJ Jack spins for Karaoke dance party every Tue. & Sun. DJ Two3 spins for ladies nite every Wed. DJ Two4 spins every Thur. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Live music on Nov. 23. Mid-Life Crisis on Nov. 25. Live music every Fri.

JULINGTON CREEK, NW ST. JOHNS HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry & John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Sat. CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Karaoke from 9 p.m.-1 p.m. Mon.-Thur. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff every Fri. & Sat. RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Craig Hand every Sat. Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. TREE STEAKHOUSE, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006 Boril Ivanov Trio at 7 p.m. every Thur. David Gum at 7 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Karaoke every Fri. & Sat.


JOHNNY ANGELS, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120, 997-9850 Karaoke from 7-10 p.m. every Sat. with Gimme the Mike DJs ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Bryan Ripper on Nov. 23. Tim O’Shea on Nov. 25. Jimmy Solari on Nov. 26. D-Lo Thompson on Nov. 30 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 997-1955 Tim O’Shea on Nov. 23. Nate Holley on Nov. 25. Open mic nite every Tue. SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Thur. and 6-9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke every Mon.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

Lucky Sevens: Huntington Beach-bred metalcore-heads Avenged Sevenfold (pictured) perform with A7X, Hollywood Undead, Asking Alexandria and Black Veil Brides on Nov. 25 at 6:30 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $43.75. 630-3900.

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PARK AVENUE BILLIARDS, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Random Act from 7:30-11:30 p.m. every Mon. Bike Nite THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Ghost Rider on Nov. 25 & 26. The Whey on Dec. 1. DJ Waldo every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar every Wed. Buck Smith Project every Mon.

PALATKA DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., (386) 325-5454 Local talent nite every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. Garage Band at 8 p.m. every Fri. Jam & open mic at 4 p.m. every Biker Sunday.

PONTE VEDRA LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE, 301 N. Roscoe Blvd., 285-0139 Mike Shackelford & Rick Johnson from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Tony Novelly from 6-10 p.m. every Mon. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766 Billy Buchanan from 8 p.m.-midnight on Nov. 25. Live music every Thur.-Sun. URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 High Tides of Jazz at 7:30 p.m. on Nov. 24. Be Easy at 4 p.m., Evans Bros. at 8 p.m. on Nov. 25. Barrett Jockers Band at 7:30 p.m. on Nov. 26. Incognito at 6:30 p.m. on Nov. 28. Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Deron Baker at 6 p.m. every Wed.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 DJ Dots every Tue. Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian every Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Cafe Show with Bethany Stockdale, Andy Jacobs, Andy Sales and Alexis Rhodes at 8 p.m. on Nov. 25. The Icarus Account, Rookie of the Year, The Valley The Storm, Mechanical Kids and Buffalo Buffalo at 7:30 p.m. on Nov. 26 PIZZA PALACE, 920 Margaret St., 598-1212 Jennifer Chase at 6:30 p.m. every Fri.

ST. AUGUSTINE A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Neil Freestone on Nov. 23 AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Fermin Spanish guitar from 6-8 p.m. every Thur. ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Smokin Joe on Nov. 22. The Pickles Beats on Nov. 24. Gina & Tony Cuchetti on Nov. 25. Chelsea Saddler on Nov. 26. Karaoke at 8 p.m. on Nov. 27 THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke with Jimmy Jamez at 9 p.m. on Nov. 25. Songwriters open mic night with TJ Ward every Mon. CAFE ELEVEN, 540 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 David Bazan on Nov. 29 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., 826-1594 Ray Love Band at 7 p.m. on Nov. 25. Lyons & Baker

at 2 p.m., Mojo Roux at 7 p.m. on Nov. 26. Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on Nov. 27 CHICAGO PIZZA & BAKERY, 107 Natures Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700 Greg Flowers hosts open-mic and jazz piano from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Fri. CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers from 6-10 p.m. on Nov. 23 JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur. KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Open jam nite with house band at 8 p.m. every Wed. Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 Live music every Fri. & Sat. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Elizabeth Roth at noon every Sun. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Sam Milner at 9 p.m. on Nov. 24. Sam Pacetti at 9 p.m. on Nov. 25 & 26. Katherine Archer at 1 p.m. on Nov. 27. Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur. Will Pearsall at 9 p.m. every Mon. THE REEF, 4100 Coastal Hwy., Vilano Beach, 824-8008 Richard Kuncicky from 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. every Sun. SANGRIAS PIANO BAR, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Soul Searchers every Wed. Jim Asalta every Thur. Jazz every Fri. The Housecats every Sat. Sunny & the Flashbacks every Sun. SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Billy Bowers from 4-8 p.m. on Nov. 26. Lil Blaze & DJ Alex hosts Karaoke every Mon. SIRENS, 113 Anastasia Blvd., 460-2641 DJ Rob every Indie Monday SPY GLOBAL CUISINE, 21 Hypolita St., 819-5637 Live music every weekend THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 5-8 p.m. every Sun. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Red River Band at 9 p.m. on Nov. 25 & 26. Mark Hart every Mon.-Wed. Open mic every Thur. Mark Hart & Jim Carrick every Fri. Elizabeth Roth at 1 p.m., Mark Hart at 5 p.m. every Sat. Keith Godwin at 1 p.m., Wade at 5 p.m. every Sun. Matanzas at 9 p.m. Sun.-Thur.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 101, 928-0515 Live jazz from 8-11 p.m. every Tue. Beer house rock every Wed. Live music every Thur. Bill Rice at 9 p.m. every Sat. Salsa every Sun. BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music from 2-7 p.m. every Sun. THE GRAPE, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-7111 Live music every Fri. & Sat. John Earle every Mon. DJ Mikeology every Thur.

ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 DJ J-Money spins jazz, soul, R&B, house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Sat. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 3989500 Robin Stine & Friends on Nov. 22. Just Jazz Quintet at 8 p.m. on Nov. 29. Jazz every 2nd Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz every Thur. DJ Omar spins dance every Fri. DJs Harry, Rico & Nestor spin salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Tropic of Cancer CD release party with Chad Jasmine, Canary in the Coalmine and Fainted Paces at 8 p.m. on Nov. 25. Sunbears! CD release party with Juicy Pony at 8 p.m. on Nov. 26 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815 Jennifer Chase at 7:30 p.m. every Sat. SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Soul on the Square & Band of Destiny at 8 p.m. every Mon. John Earle Band every Tue. DJs Wes Reed & Matt Caulder spin indie dance & electro every Wed. Split Tone & DJ Comic every Thur.

SOUTHSIDE AROMAS, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 101, 928-0515 Live music from 8-11 p.m. every Tue., Wed. & Thur. Piano Bar with Will Hurley from 9 p.m.-1 a.m., a DJ spins till close every Fri. BOMBA’S, 8560 Beach Blvd., 997-2291 Open mic from 7-11 p.m. with Chris Hall every Tue. & every first Sun. Live music at 8 p.m. every Fri., at 6 p.m. every Sat. & at 5 p.m. every Sun. CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall at 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DAVE & BUSTER’S, 7025 Salisbury Rd. S., 296-1525 A DJ spins every Fri. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717 Peyton Brothers at 8 p.m. on Nov. 26 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Shotgun spins on Nov. 23. Jamaru at 8 p.m., VJ Shotgun at 11 p.m. on Nov. 25. Three-Headed Stepchild at 8 p.m., VJ Josh Franzetta at 11 p.m. on Nov. 26. Rockinaroake at 8 p.m. every Thur.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE BLUE DINER CAFE, 5868 Norwood Ave., 766-7774 Jazz from 7-9 p.m. every first Thur. BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 DJ Dave on Nov. 25 & 26. Karaoke every Tue., Thur. & Sun. with DJ Dave. Open mic every Wed. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. DAMES POINT MARINA, 4518 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Backwoods Boys at 6 p.m. on Nov. 23. Live music on Nov. 25 & 26. Mr. Natural at 4 p.m. on Nov. 27 FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Big Engine every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. RIVERCITY ISLAND GRILL & CHILL, 13141 City Station Drive, 696-0802 Live music every weekend SKYLINE SPORTSBAR & LOUNGE, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. DJ Scar spins every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Alaina Colding at 7 p.m. on Nov. 25. Goliath Flores at 1 p.m. on Nov. 27 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 647-8625 Open mic at 8 p.m. every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. To be listed here, send all the vitals — time, date, location with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com.

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 29


Advertising proof this is a copyright protected proof ©

our advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 112211 LE AT 268-3655 sUpport

Ask for Action

Produced by ab Checked by

Sales Rep mh

Hardcore Jollies A yuletide chat with legendary filmmaker John Waters A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS Wednesday, Nov. 30 at 8 p.m. The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville Tickets are $30 and $35 355-2787 Naughty and Nice: John Waters brings his one-man holiday show to The Florida Theatre on Nov. 30.

W

hat can Folio Weekly say about a man who once smoked pot with William S. Burroughs, appeared on “The Simpsons,” inspired a Broadway smash and was even featured on the ’80s yuppie-porno TV show “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”? © 2011 Pioneering filmmaker, photographer, actor, writer and stand-up comedian John Waters is best known as the “King of Trash,” for his celebration of all things delightfully deviant in films ranging from 1972’s underground classic “Pink Flamingos” to his more mainstream hits like “Hairspray” (1988), later adapted for Broadway. The now 65-year-old proud son of Baltimore is also a penetrating social critic, and author of such hilarious books as 1981’s “Shock Value,” “Crackpot: The Obsessions of John Waters” (1987) and last year’s “Role Models.” In advance of his one-man show at The Florida Theatre next week, Waters spoke to Folio Weekly from his home in Manhattan about the true meaning of Xmas, prescription boredom and the tragedy of inflatable lawn décor.

FolioWeekly

Folio Weekly: What can we expect from “A John Waters Christmas”? John Waters: You can expect what I think is a self-help group for people that are already insane and proud of it. The show is about how to get through Christmas even if you hate it. Even if it’s not your religion. Even if you’re a happy neurotic, which I am. So it’s a motivational speech, I think. F.W.: What do you think is the meaning of Xmas? J.W.: I always say it makes me feel needy, greedy, with an unnatural desire to please. I think that sums up Christmas. F.W.: Factoring in all of the garish ornaments, drama and substance abuse, is it fair to say Christmas is the most white trash holiday? J.W.: Well, let me start out by saying I would never use that racist expression that is still somehow accepted. White Trash is the “N Word” for poor white people. I would call them extreme white people. That’s a better way to put it, because they’re certainly not trash.

30 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

F.W.: Well, as a member of a generation from the coal mines, I guess I feel entitled to say it.

J.W.: Well, [Laughs] you probably could say it! I just find those people to be incredibly stylish and street-smart and certainly the subject matter of a lot of my movies. I think that the only unfortunate thing that comes from that community are those horrible new Christmas decorations you see on people’s lawns, that are inflatable. F.W.: What is the status of your holiday film “Fruitcake”? J.W.: Well, I’m trying to make it. It’s a terribly wonderful children’s Christmas adventure. But

[Laughs.] It seems to me that anybody who’s stupid enough to believe that kind of preacher or talk deserves it. F.W.: You once said that taking drugs in adulthood is like “having a mohawk at 30.” Now that everyone is prescribed drugs for every situation and ailment, has all the fun been taken out of being a junky pervert? J.W.: Well, the thing is, some of the medicines you’re talking about have saved the lives of a small percentage of people, so it’s good for them. I do think drugs are completely over-prescribed for

“The show is about how to get through Christmas even if you hate it. Even if it’s not your religion. Even if you’re a happy neurotic, which I am. So it’s a motivational speech, I think.” the world of independent film is not in great shape in America. All the movies that used to cost $5 million, they now want you to make for $500,000. I can’t do that, so I write books. I just have different ways to tell stories. F.W.: Are there some weird holiday films you could recommend to our readers? J.W.: Oh, my favorite is “Christmas Evil.” That’s the one that’s about somebody who’s so obsessed with being Santa Claus that they start spying on little children and really keeping a book on who has been a bad little boy and girl in the neighborhood and they eventually start cross-dressing. (Laughs.) He gets a job in a toy factory and even gets stuck in someone’s chimney. It’s really a great movie. It’s better than “Silent Night, Deadly Night.” F.W.: For some weird reason, people are suddenly acknowledging the Mayan calendar and predicting the world will end in 2012. Do you have any handy tips or predictions for the apocalypse? J.W.: Well, I predict that they’re wrong again!

everybody else. Who wants to be “even” all the time? If I was “even,” I wouldn’t have had a career. Sometimes it’s appropriate to be depressed. F.W.: Have you ever considered making a romantic comedy? J.W.: God, no. It is the one genre I can’t stand. Those films are neither romantic nor funny. F.W.: As an openly gay man, do you find it humorous that gay culture has been so embraced by pop culture in subtly hip ways? J.W.: Gays have always been funny and smart. It’s about time everybody else caught up. What I think is funny is how straight people are now acting gay to suddenly seem hip. Crazy. F.W.: After decades of deviancy, how does John Waters still get his kicks? J.W.: Reading. I’ve always loved to read and, out of all of my craziness, it has been one constant in my life. I’m reading Dennis Cooper’s latest book and it is a trip! Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com


PERFORMANCE

MY FAIR LADY This classic musical about the importance of enunciation is staged at 8 p.m. on Nov. 22, 23 and 25, at 1:15 and 8 p.m. on Nov. 26 and 2 and 8 p.m. on Nov. 27 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $42-$49. 641-1212. THE LIVES & WIVES OF HENRY FLAGLER The Limelight Theatre and Raintree Restaurant present this dinner theater experience at 6 p.m. on Nov. 27 at 102 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. Tickets are $39.95. 824-7211.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

CALL TO ARTISTS The Art Center seeks submissions for its upcoming “Static Studies” still life juried show, through Dec. 1. The show runs Dec. 8-Jan. 17. For entry details and an application, visit tacjacksonville.org/call.html LIMELIGHT SEEKS USHERS The Limelight Theatre seeks volunteer ushers for its current season to attend to a variety of tasks including seating guests, answering questions and bartending, in exchange for complimentary and discounted tickets. 825-1164. PLAYWRIGHTS WANTED The Limelight Theatre and St. Augustine 450th Youth Ambassadors seek playwrights to pen five-minute monologues reflecting the role of young people in the development of St. Augustine’s history. Chosen scripts are performed in the 2012 production, “Young Voices from the Old City.” The deadline is Nov. 25. Winners are announced on Dec. 9. Submissions are mailed to 450th Script Writing Project, Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine FL 32084. 825-1164 ext. 16. Submissions in Word document and .pdf form are e-mailed to youngvoices450@gmail.com AUDITIONS IN OLDEST CITY The Limelight Theatre holds auditions, for its production of “Harvey,” at 2 p.m. on Dec. 10 at 11 Old Mission Avenue, St. Augustine. The cast includes roles for six men and six women, both ranging in ages 2070s. The show runs Jan. 19-Feb. 12. 825-1164. HASTINGS FEST SEEKS ARTISTS The Historic Hastings Art Festival is accepting paintings in all mediums, representing the artist’s view toward the life and work of Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, for a juried show during the Dec. 3 event. No entry fee. 692-2031. NORTH FLORIDA CONSERVATORY OF MUSIC This school invites musicians of all skill levels and any instrument to join the community orchestra every Mon. at 6:30 p.m. and concert band every Tue. at 6:30 p.m. at 11363 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 374-8639. CALL TO ARTISTS Jacksonville Fine Arts Festival seeks original poster artwork for its festival held in Avondale’s Boone Park on March 24 and 25. The winning submission gets a free 10x10 exhibitor’s space. Send 300 dpi submissions, including name and media, to cookied@ ix.netcom.com HAND DRUMMING CLASSES Midnight Sun offers classes from 7:30-8:30 p.m. every Fri. at 1055 Park St., Jacksonville. Class fee is $10. 358-3869.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

WINTER JAZZ NIGHT CONCERT Students from DASOTA and LaVilla School of the Arts present this seasonal concert at 7:30 p.m. on Nov. 22 at Douglas Anderson School of the Arts’ Theater, 2445 San Diego Road, Jacksonville. 346-5620. EMMA CONCERT SERIES Violinist Wolfgang David and pianist David Gomper perform at 8 p.m. on Nov. 26 at Flagler College’s Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine. Tickets are $25. 797-2800. MUSIC AT UNITARIAN Baritone and guitarist Rob Tudor performs songs by Armin Knab, Johnny Mercer and Andrew York, and traditional Irish music at 10:45 a.m. on Nov. 27 at Unitarian Universalist Church, 7405 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. 725-8133. ANNUAL EVENSONG FOR ADVENT SUNDAY The choir and organist of St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral perform a candlelit concert featuring works by Tavener, Bruckner, Ledger, Brahms, Gibbons and Powell at 5 p.m. on Nov. 27 at 256 E. Church St., Jacksonville. 356-5507. SAN MARCO CHAMBER MUSIC SOCIETY This area ensemble performs at 7 p.m. on Nov. 29 at St. Mark’s Evangelical Lutheran Church, 3976 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. 731-1310. UNF RECITAL Clarinetist Dr. Guy Yehuda plays at 7:30 p.m. on Nov. 29 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878. JUST JAZZ QUINTET This swinging five-piece appears at 8 p.m. on Nov. 29 at European Street Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $10. 399-1740. JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Trumpeter Ray Callender and guitarist Taylor Roberts play at 7 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks

Leslie Robison and Laura Mongiovi, Flagler College art professors, are featured in the multimedia exhibit, “It’s Not Just Black and White: The Black and White Show” (pictured, “Fisher” by Robison), through Feb. 16 at Rotunda Gallery, located in St. Johns County Admin. Building, 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine. 471-9980.

Gastropub, 910 King St., Jacksonville. 388-9551. JAZZ AT TREE STEAKHOUSE Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 262-0006. JAZZ AT GENNARO’S Gennaro’s Ristorante Italiano features live jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at 5472 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. 491-1999. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie features live jazz nightly at 7 p.m. at 66 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 825-0502.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS

FALL ART & CRAFT FESTIVAL This 46th annual arts and crafts festival is held from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. on Nov. 26 and 27 at Francis Field, 29 W. Castillo Drive, St. Augustine. More than 100 vendors, plein air artist demonstrations, live music and a kid’s zone are featured. Admission is $1. 824-2310. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT Galleries, antique stores and shops are open from 5-9 p.m. on Nov. 26 in St. Augustine’s San Marco District. 824-3152. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive. 353-1188. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET The Arts Market is held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. beneath the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville and features local and regional artists, strolling performers, bands and a farmers market. Admission is free. 554-6865, 389-2449. riversideartsmarket.com

MUSEUMS

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Julie Lequin’s installation, “Top 30,” is on display

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 31


through Nov. 24. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 356-6857. The education-themed exhibit, “One in Three: Let’s Solve Our Dropout Crisis,” is displayed through Dec. 20. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. “Darwin: The Origin of Species” is on display through Dec. 27. The exhibit “Upheaval Impressions,” featuring mixed media work by Rocco Catucci, is on display through Dec. 29. The permanent collection includes a variety of rare manuscripts. Open Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. The annual UNF Art & Design Faculty Exhibition is on display through Jan. 22. Project Atrium features sculptor Gustavo Godoy’s installation “Empty Altar/Empty Throne” through March 11. The 200-piece photographic collection “Shared Vision: The Sondra and Celso Gonzalez-Falla Collection of Photography” and “Larry Clark: The Tulsa Series” are displayed through Jan. 8. mocajacksonville.org RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 6325555. An exhibit of works by African-American photographer E.L. Weems is on display through Dec. 30. An exhibit celebrating local African-American athletes and sports figures, “More Than a Game: African-American Sports in Jacksonville, 1900-1975,” is currently on display. Admission is $8 for adults, $5 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun.

Advertising proof this is a copyright protected proof ©

ons, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 101111 GALLERIES PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 ALEXANDER BREAST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville

of benefit

sUpport

Ask for Action

Produced by ab Checked by

University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville, 256-7677. Sales Rep dl The annual Juried Student Exhibition runs through Dec. 7. AMELIA SANJON GALLERY 218A Ash St., Fernandina Beach, 491-8040. Anthony Whiting’s exhibit, “Wild Bird Paintings,” is on display through Dec. 30. THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. An Abstract Art Exhibit by TAC members is on display through Nov. 29. THE ART CENTER II 229 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville, 3551757. “Introspection, Self Portrait Art Show” is on display through Nov. 29. AVONDALE ARTWORKS 3568 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville, 384-8797. The exhibit “Vessels: A 3-D Art Exhibit” featuring works by Cookie Davis, John Bunker, Myra Schick, Nofa Dixon, Lucy Clark, Tim Bullard and Chris Jones, is displayed through Dec. BEE GALLERY & DESIGN STUDIO The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 108, 419-8016. The erotic photography of Neal Rue is featured through Nov. BETHEL GALLERY Ponte Vedra Presbyterian Church, 4510 Palm Valley Road, Ponte Vedra, 285-7241. Acrylic artist Ellen Jones’ religious-themed exhibit, “Nehemiah, Servant & Leader,” is on display through Jan. 3. BRILLIANCE IN COLOR 25 King St., St. Augustine, 810-0460. The exhibit “Frederick Hart: A Singular and Major Force” runs through Nov. 30. C GALLERY Daryl Bunn Studios, 643 Edison Ave., Jacksonville, 525-3368. The exhibit, “A Woman’s World,” featuring works by

© 2006 folioweekly

32 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

Megan Cosby, Christina Foard, Louise Freshman Brown, Sara Pedigo and Amy Vigilante, runs through Jan. DOUGLAS ANDERSON SCHOOL OF THE ARTS 2445 San Diego Road, Jacksonville, 346-5620. Students’ work, in various media, is featured in the exhibit “New Beginnings,” on display through Dec. 2. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The 12th annual Holiday Ornament Show runs through Dec. 24. Photographer Mark Kowal’s exhibit, “Say It With Photography,” runs through Jan. 3. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Road, Jacksonville. 535-7252. Multimedia artist “Tonya Lee: All Smiles” is on display through Dec. 6. GALLERY 1037 Reddi-Arts, 1037 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville, 398-3161. The Jacksonville Artists Guild presents the juried exhibit “Presence” through Dec. HASKELL GALLERY Jax International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Road, 741-3546. Recent paintings by Ginny Elliot and Suzi Berg are displayed through Jan. 9. P.A.ST.A FINE ARTS GALLERY 214 Charlotte St., St. Augustine, 824-0251. Oil painter Sandra Pierce shows her work, in the exhibit “Color Encounter,” through Nov. PLUM ART & DESIGN 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069. Mary Lou Gibson, Robert Renwick, Sara Pedigo and David Engdahl are the featured artists through Dec. 31. ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The exhibit “It’s Not Just Black and White: The Black and White Show,” featuring recent works by Leslie Robison and Laura Mongiovi, is on display through Feb. 16. SOUTH GALLERY FSCJ’s South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville, 646-2023. The exhibit “The Sherwin Series: Works by Joelle Dietrick” runs through Nov. 23. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 6 E. Bay St., Jacksonville, 438-4358. The gallery celebrates its second anniversary all this month. SPACE:EIGHT GALLERY Screen Arts, 228 W. King St., St. Augustine. 829-2838. An exhibit of painter Scott Dupree’s work is on display through Dec. 2. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310. Big cat and wolf paintings by Diane Travis are displayed from Nov. 26-Dec. 30. STELLERS GALLERY AT PONTE VEDRA 240 A1A N., Ste. 13, Ponte Vedra Beach, 273-6065. “Ebb and Flow,” featuring works by John Folsom, Jennifer J.L. Jones, Toni John and Wendy McArthur, is on display through Dec. STUDIO 121 121 W. Forsyth St., Ste. 100, Jacksonville, 292-9303. This artist-run gallery features works by Joyce Gabiou, Paul Ladnier, Robert Leedy and others. VANDROFF ART GALLERY Jewish Community Alliance, 8505 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville, 730-2100. Mixed-media works and paintings by Gwen Gilmore and Connie Pratt are shown Nov. 26-Dec. 21. W.B. TATTER STUDIO GALLERY 76 A San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-9263. Wendy Tatter’s works are featured. For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com. To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com. Events are included on a spaceavailable basis.

Classical by Candlelight: The choir and organist of St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral perform the annual Evensong for Advent Sunday, a candlelit concert featuring works by Tavener, Bruckner, Ledger, Brahms, Gibbons and Powell, on Nov. 27 at 5 p.m. at 256 E. Church St., Jacksonville. 356-5507.


EVENTS

WINTERFEST 2011 Visit Jacksonville and Fraternal Order of Police Lodge 5-30 present the inaugural WinterFEST through Jan. 2 at Adventure Landing, 1944 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. The waterpark is transformed into an Alpine snow village with a large, outdoor ice-skating rink (with real ice!), the 130-foot ice slide “Alpine Racer,” nightly snowfalls, visits and storytime with Santa in his workshop, the Blizzard Bluff Village offering Christmas cookie decorating, a holiday carnival and crafts, a teddy-bearmaking factory and Mistletoe Marketplace. Proceeds benefit the FOP Foundation’s programs. 246-4386. jaxwinterfest.com adventurelanding.com HOLIDAY ON THE RIVER The annual Holiday on the River free concert series kicks off at noon and 8:45 p.m. on Nov. 28 in the Courtyard at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. Live performances by kids from local schools, choirs from local churches and dance groups are performed in front of the 56-foot-tall Christmas tree at midday and in the evening through Dec. 21. 353-1188. For a schedule, go to JacksonvilleLanding.com A WINTER WONDERLAND This annual seasonal event features snow, a real ice skating rink, an ice slide, an elf village, train rides, sleigh rides and visits from Santa from 5-10 p.m. beginning Nov. 26 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340C A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. Hours through Dec. 16 are 5-10 p.m. every Mon.-Fri., and 2-10 p.m. on Sat. and Sun.; from Dec. 17-Jan. 1, the Wonderland is open daily from 2-10 p.m. 461-0825. UNF DISTINGUISHED VOICES LECTURE SERIES Norman Ornstein, co-director of the AEI-Brookings Election Reform Project, discusses “Looking Ahead to the 2012 Elections” at 7 p.m. on Nov. 29 at University of North Florida’s University Center, 12000 Alumni Drive, Jacksonville. Admission is free, but tickets are required; go to unf.edu/ lectures. 620-2117. CHRISTMAS MADE IN THE SOUTH The handmade original works of more than 300 artists and craftspeople from the United States and Canada are featured at the 23rd annual Christmas Made in the South, held from 9 a.m.-6 p.m. on Nov. 25, from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. on Nov. 26 and from 11 a.m.-5 p.m. on Nov. 27 at Prime Osborn Convention Center, 1000 Water St., Jacksonville. Admission is $6; free for children younger than 12. 630-4000. A NIGHT WITH THE STARS This event, held from 5:30-9 p.m. on Nov. 29 at Marriott Southpoint, 4760 Salisbury Road, Jacksonville, honors Delores Barr Weaver and other local advocates and caregivers of elders. Mayor Alvin Brown is the featured speaker. Tickets are $50. 391-6617. myeldersource.org RIVER LIGHT PARADE Boats are festooned with holiday glitz and glamour at the annual Jacksonville Light Parade, held at 7 p.m. on Nov. 25 on Jacksonville’s Downtown Riverfront (Northbank and Southbank). For details, visit makeascenedowntown.com LIVING HISTORY DEMONSTRATION Living History Days: Spanish Feast of Thanksgiving and Colonial Foods, including African, Native American and Spanish cooking techniques and cuisine, are featured from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. on Nov. 26 at Fort Mose Historic State Park, 15 Ft. Mose Trail, St. Augustine. are featured. Re-enactors in period dress discuss 18th-century food and demonstrate cooking practices. The entrance fee to the visitor center is $2; kids 6 years old and younger are admitted free. 823-2232. floridastateparks.org/fortmosehistoricstatepark NAVY BAND SOUTHEAST This talented eight-piece ensemble performs a Holiday Brass Concert from 6:30-7:30 p.m. on Nov. 29 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island. Admission is free. 278-3722. COSMIC CONCERTS Laser Holidays at 5 p.m., Laser Hypnotica at 6 p.m., Laseropolis at 7 p.m. and Laser Led Zeppelin at 8 p.m. on Nov. 25 in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. 396-7062. moshplanetarium.org RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Lauren Fincham performs at 11:45 a.m. and Big Picture performs at 2:30 p.m. on Nov. 26 at the market, held under the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, downtown. Local and regional art and a farmers market are also featured from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. Admission is free. 554-6865. riversideartsmarket.com FLAGLER TOURS The tours are offered at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. daily at Flagler College, located in downtown St. Augustine. Admission is $7 for adults, $5 for St. Augustine residents and $1 for children younger than 12. 819-6400. FLORIDA WWII EXHIBIT “Victory Begins at Home: Florida During World War II” shows Floridians in service, military recruitment and training, the German U-boat threat and rationing, at Museum of Science

“You want nutcrackers, folks? We got nutcrackers.” The handmade original works of more than 300 artists and craftspeople from the U.S. and Canada are featured at the 23rd annual Christmas Made in the South, held from 9 a.m.-6 p.m. on Nov. 25, from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. on Nov. 26 and 11 a.m.-5 p.m. on Nov. 27 at Prime Osborn Convention Center, 1000 Water St., Jacksonville. Admission is $6; free for children younger than 12. 630-4000.

and History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville, through July 8. 396-7062. themosh.org LINCOLNVILLE FARMERS’ MARKET This new weekly market, held from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. every Sun. at 399 Riberia St., St. Augustine, offers local and organic produce, baked goods, coffees, cheeses, prepared foods, crafts and jewelry at the south end of Lincolnville in Eddie Vickers Park. There’s a community garden, too. lincolnvillefarmersmaket.com

POLITICS & ACTIVISM

JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee of this crime-fighting initiative meets at 4 p.m. on Dec. 15 in Eighth Floor Conference Room 851, Ed Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. 630-1273. INTERVENE SCHOOLS COMMUNITY MEETING Duval County Public Schools and Florida Department of Education review models for improved student learning, from 6-8:30 p.m. on Dec. 8 at Ribault High School, 3701 Winton Dr., Jacksonville. 924-3722. duvalschools.org/intervene

BOOKS & WRITING

ANTHONY PROSECUTOR JEFF ASHTON Assistant State Attorney in the Casey Anthony trial, Ashton signs copies of his book, “Imperfect Justice: Prosecuting Casey Anthony” at 7 p.m. on Nov. 28 at The Bookmark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach. 241-9026. GARY ZEIGER A kick-off launch party and book-signing is held from 6-9 p.m. on Nov. 29 at Bayard Café, 12525 Philips Highway, Jacksonville. Sci-fi writer Zeiger signs copies of his book, “Stingray: You Can’t Hide Forever.” 551-3026.

COMEDY

LATITUDE 30 COMEDY Forrest Shaw and Matt Zigan are featured at 8 p.m. on Nov. 25 and 26 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside. Tickets are $13. 365-5555. GRANDMA LEE All Stars appear at 8 p.m. on Nov. 22 and 23. Local comedienne Grandma Lee appears at 8 p.m. on Nov. 25 and at 7 and 9 p.m. on Nov. 26 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $15 and $18. 292-4242. SCHLOCK & AWE Comedy Tropic presents short films and standup comedy with local comedians from 7-9 p.m. on Nov. 26 at Crosswater Hall at Nocatee, 245 Little River Road, Ponte Vedra. Admission is $19.99. (855) 707-0469. comedytropic.com JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Joe DeLion and BJ Odum appear at 8:30 p.m. on Nov. 25 and 26 at 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine. Tickets are $12. 461-8843. ORLANDO SADSARIN Sadsarin appears at 9 p.m. every Sun. at The Norm, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Jacksonville. 384-9929.

UPCOMING

BEARDS OF COMEDY TOUR Dec. 2, Jack Rabbits GARRISON KEILLOR Dec. 6, T-U Moran Theater WWE SMACKDOWNDec. 6, Veterans Memorial Arena HANS BRINKER & THE SILVER SKATES Dec. 9, FSCJ’s Wilson Center COMMUNITY NUTCRACKER BALLET Dec. 9 & 10, The Florida Theatre GATORS VS RIDER BRONCOS BASKETBALL Dec. 9, Veterans Memorial Arena TIM CONWAY & FRIENDS Jan. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts THE SPENCERS: THEATRE OF ILLUSION Jan. 20, The Florida Theatre RON WHITE: MORAL COMPASS TOUR Jan. 26, T-U Moran Theater SECOND CITY TOURING COMPANY Feb. 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JEFF DUNHAM CONTROLLED CHAOS Feb. 10, Veterans Memorial Arena LACROSSE CLASSIC Feb. 19, EverBank Field HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS March 2, Veterans Arena

NATURE, SPORTS, OUTDOORS

TURKEY TROT 5K The annual Turkey Trot 5K and 1-mile youth run are held at 8 a.m. on Nov. 24 at Vida Fitness and Omni Amelia Island Plantation, 6800 First Coast Highway Amelia Island. The entry fee is $20. 415-1429. active.com LOW TIDE BIKE RIDE The ride is held at 2 p.m. on Nov. 26 at Anastasia State Park, 1340A A1A S., St. Augustine. The ride is free with paid park admission. 461-2035. floridastateparks.org JAGUARS VS TEXANS The Jacksonville Jaguars take on the Houston Texans at 1 p.m. on Nov. 27 at EverBank Field, 1 EverBank Place, Jacksonville. Single-game tickets for home games start at $45. 633-2000. jaguars.com TALBOT CRITTERS A park ranger discusses the many common species that inhabit the natural communities of the undeveloped barrier islands of northeast Florida at 2 p.m. on Nov. 26 at Ribault Club, Ft. George Island Cultural State Park, 11241 Ft. George Road. The program is free. 251-2320. floridastateparks.org PLAY PETANQUE Play the popular European game from 1-4 p.m. every Sun. at J. Edward “Red” Cox Recreational Facility, on Red Cox Drive near the lighthouse, St. Augustine. All equipment and instructions provided. 537-1999. boulesdeleon@yahoo.com

BUSINESS

SMALL BUSINESS WORKSHOP Business Plan Basics is held from 6-8 p.m. on Nov. 29 at UNF University Center, 12000 Alumni Drive, Jacksonville. This workshop provides an overview of the format and content of a business plan. Participants will be introduced to the key components of a plan and resources to help get them started.

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 33


Cost is $40 in advance or $50 at the door. 620-2477. sbdc.unf.edu SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Sandy Myers presents a fashion show and Tom Whicher offers a wine tasting at noon on Nov. 23 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20. For reservations, call 396-5559.

KIDS

CRAFTS & SNO CONES Kids make a pine cone turkey and other crafts, and enjoy icey treats from 2:30-4:30 p.m. on Nov. 23 at Anastasia Island Branch Library, 124 Seagrove Main St., St. Augustine. Sponsored by the Friends of the Anastasia Island Branch Library. 209-3730. sjcpls.org JACKSONVILLE SUNS HOLIDAY BASEBALL CAMP The camp, open to kids ages 7-12, is held from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. on Dec. 19 and 20 at the Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Kids learn basics from the pros; included are lunch on both days, a collectable camp ball cap and tickets to a Suns game. Camp fee is $85. 358-2845. MATERIALS SCIENCE EXHIBIT The hands-on exhibit, “Strange Matter,” is presented through May 13 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. 396-6674. themosh.org TEEN FASHION The DIY fashion series for teens concludes with an origami ring class at 2 p.m. on Dec. 3 at the Main Library’s teen study room, 303 N. Laura St., downtown. jaxpubliclibrary.org. Register by calling 630-0673.

COMMUNITY INTEREST

THANKSGIVING DAY FEAST A traditional holiday dinner is served to elders unable to join family or friends at 11:30 a.m. on Nov. 24 at O.C. White’s Restaurant, 118 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine. The event is coordinated through St. Johns County Council on Aging and prior registration is required; call 209-3686 or 209-3685. Volunteer drivers are needed. coasjc.com TOYS FOR TOTS COLLECTION DRIVE Whisky River is teaming with Toys For Tots to brighten the holidays for local children in need, collecting new, unwrapped toys, books and other gifts through Dec. 21 at Whisky River, 4850 Big Island Drive, Ste. 03, Markets at Town Center. A concert with country music star Sunny Sweeney is held on Dec. 7; admission is free, and guests are encouraged to bring at least one new, unwrapped toy to donate to Toys For Tots. WhiskyRiverJacksonville.com WORLD AIDS WEEK This week-long commemoration is held to remember those who have died and those infected and affected with HIV/ AIDS through education, outreach, services and information. Events include the Women & Children Celebration, held from 1-3 p.m. on Nov. 28 at Shands-LRC Building, 655 W. Eighth St., Jacksonville; 244-3044. Community Connection/ Education Day Health Fair is held from 6-8 p.m. on Nov. 30 at Edward Waters College, 1658 Kings Road, Jacksonville; 253-2985. The National AIDS Quilt is displayed from noon-12:30 p.m. on Dec. 1 at Jacksonville City Hall, Duval and Laura streets. A memorial service is held from 6:30-9 p.m. on Dec. 1 at Bethel Baptist Institutional Church, 215

34 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

Bethel Baptist St., Jacksonville; 722-3000. The 10th annual Community Awards are held from 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. on Dec. 2 at Omni Hotel Jacksonville, 245 Water St., downtown. Juan Carlos Riascos is the featured speaker. Tickets are $30; call 739-7016. For details, call 356-1612 ext. 17 or go to northeastfloridaworldaidsweek.com STATE OF THE RESERVE Guana Tolomato Matanzas National Estuarine Research Reserve holds its second annual State of the Reserve from 1-6 p.m. on Dec. 2 at 505 Guana River Road, Ponte Vedra, highlighting research, stewardship, and education at the reserve. A local food and wine reception and poster session follow. 823-4500. To register, go to stateofthereserve2011. eventbrite.com

CLASSES & GROUPS

AUDITION PREP CLASSES Former NFL cheerleaders teach fundamentals of the audition process, including choreography, interview skills and attire, from 12:30-3:30 p.m. every other Sat., JanuaryMarch, at Bailey’s Powerhouse Gym, 9550 Baymeadows Road, Jacksonville. For times, dates and fees, go to procheerleadersalumni.com JOB CLUB This free club is open to all active job seekers from 2-3 p.m. on Nov. 23 and 30 and Dec. 7 and 14 at FSCJ’s Deerwood Center, 9911 Old Baymeadows Road, Rm. G-1708, Jacksonville. 256-6982. DEPRESSION BIPOLAR SUPPORT GROUP The DBSA support group meets from 5:30-7 p.m. every Wed. at River Point Behavioral Health’s Outpatient Building, 6300 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. 343-6511 or 964-9743. Q-GROUP ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS This free, open discussion is held at 5:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri. at Quality Life Center, 11265 Alumni Way, Jacksonville. alcoholicanonymous.org URBAN BALLET FITNESS A free community class is held at 5:45 p.m. on the first Fri. of the month at Dance Trance Studio, 214 Orange St., Neptune Beach, 246-4600. dancetrancefitness.com DEPRESSION AND BIPOLAR SUPPORT ALLIANCE This support group meets from 6-7:30 p.m. every Tue. at Baptist Medical Center, 800 Prudential Drive, Jacksonville. For more information, call 616-6264. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem? Maybe they can help. 3586262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna.org, firstcoastna.org NICOTINE ANONYMOUS (NIC-A) Want to quit smoking or using other forms of nicotine? Nic-A is free, and you don’t have to quit to attend the meetings, held at 6:30 p.m. every Tue. at Quality Life Center, 11265 Alumni Way, Southside. 378-6849. nicotineanonymous.org NAR-A-NON This group meets at 8 p.m. every Tue. and Thur. at 4172 Shirley Ave., Avondale. 945-7168. To get in this listing, email the time, date, location (street address, city) admission price and contact number to events@folioweekly.com or click the link in our Happenings section at folioweekly.com. Events are included on a space-available basis.

The Comedy Zone presents the sassy, scintillating septuagenarian Grandma Lee at 8 p.m. on Nov. 25 and 7 and 9 p.m. on Nov. 26 at 3130 Hartley Road, Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. The locally based comedienne was a popular contestant on “America’s Got Talent.” Tickets are $15 and $18. 292-4242.


Walter Coker

DINING GUIDE KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

(In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.) THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences. Award-winning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 At the Italian kitchen and wine bar, Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & Pattaya Thai Grille serves traditional Thai cuisine, with a specialty in vegetarian Thai dishes, in their contemporary digs on D, daily. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Baymeadows Road. Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials. Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.PICANTE GRILL ROTISSERIE BAR F Flavors of Peru and Latin Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ BISCOTTIS F Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, America, served in a modern atmosphere. Authentic Peruvian CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials. B, cebiche and homestyle empanadas. BW, CM, TO. B, L & D daily. croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ 464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee. 310-9222. $$ 491-4663. $ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, PLAE In Spa & Shops at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, the EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Halfcozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The Ritzportions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns L, Tue.-Sat.; D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$ Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2011 winner. Elegant dining ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS Traditional Spanish and BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary Portuguese dishes, tapas and paella served in a cozy tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L & coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia atmosphere. BW, CM. D nightly. 22 S. Fourth St. 261-7700. $$$ D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a oneTHE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Middle Eastern SANDOLLAR RESTAURANT & MARINA F Dine inside or on third-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily. the deck. Snow crab legs, fresh fish, shellfish dishes. FB. L & D, and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and 3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ daily. 9716 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island. 251-2449. $$ turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site. THE FOX RESTAURANT F The Fox has been a Jacksonville Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5 S. Second St., 261-9400. 5472 First THE SURF F Dine inside or on the large oceanview deck. landmark for 50-plus years. Owners Ian & Mary Chase serve Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp and nightly specials. Late-night classic diner-style fare, homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ Pulled pork menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax GREEN MAN GOURMET Organic and natural products, spices, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 2011 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade teas, salts, BW. Open daily. 3543 St. Johns Ave. 384-0002. $ S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ MOJO NO. 4 F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 3572 JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s St. Johns Ave. 381-6670. $$ pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional ORSAY Best of Jax 2011 winner. The French/American bistro bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Tues.-Sat.; daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$ Brunch & D, Sun. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Second St. 321-2558. $$$ EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.’town F Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ Ostrander bring farm-to-table to Northeast Florida, offering BW. D, Tue.-Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KABUTO JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR Steak & American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. FB. L & D, KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried shrimp, filet mignon & lobster, shrimp & scallops, a sushi bar, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$ green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors teppanyaki grill and traditional Japanese cuisine. CM, FB. L & or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, D, daily. 10055 Atlantic Blvd. 724-8883. $$$ Mon.-Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal. 8818 LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE F An innovative lunch AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106. $$ menu includes po’boys and seafood “little plates” served in Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ MEEHAN’S TAVERN F The Irish pub and restaurant serves a historic house. Dinner features fresh local seafood. Nightly BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-owned-&beef and Guinness stew, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches, specials. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations operated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brick-oventraditional lamb stew, jalapeño poppers, in a comfy recommended. 11 S. Seventh St. 432-8394. $$ baked pizza, traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs. Delivery. CM, atmosphere. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5. MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE Locally owned and operated, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3. 519-8000. $$ 551-7076. $$ with specialty coffees, fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the driveCAFE CONFLUENCE F The European coffeehouse serves NERO’S CAFE F Traditional Italian fare, including seafood, thru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. NorthernItalian specialty coffees and smoothies, along with paninis, veal, beef, chicken and pasta dishes. Weekly specials are style pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 salads and European chocolates. Outdoor dining. BW. L & D, lasagna, 2-for-1 pizza and AYCE spaghetti. CM, FB. L, Sun.; D, toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection. BW. Tue.-Sun. 8612 Baymeadows Rd. 733-7840. $ daily. 3607 University Blvd. N. 743-3141. $$ L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT F Owner Celso Alvarado REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR Generous portions and THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery, juice bar. Extensive offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 menu features vegetarian, vegan items. Daily specials: local specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas, burritos. FB. L Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ seafood, free-range chicken, fresh organic produce. CM. B & L, & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed Mon.-Sat. 833 TJ Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deepatmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, dish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years. BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$ served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sun. 318 CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves UNIVERSITY DINER F The popular diner serves familiar Centre St. 261-1000. $$ malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast fare and lunch like meatloaf, burgers, sandwiches: PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. wraps, BLTs, clubs, melts. Daily specials. BW. B & L, Sat. & restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, 641-4877. $$ Sun.; B, L & D, Mon.-Fri. 5959 Merrill Rd. 762-3433. $ daily. 520 Centre St. 272-2011. $$

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

BAYMEADOWS

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 35


THE FIFTH ELEMENT F Authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes made with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Extensive menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast. CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE F The Lebanese restaurant offers authentic cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE Center-cut beef, seafood, sandwiches served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include crème brûlée. FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ ORANGE TREE HOT DOGS F Hot dogs with slaw, chili cheese, sauerkraut; and small pizzas. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 8380 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 4. 733-0588. orangetreehotdogs.com $ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Traditional Thai and vegetarian items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu served in a contemporary atmosphere. B/W. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$ UDIPI CAFE Authentic South Indian vegetarian cuisine. L & D, Tue.-Fri. 8642 Baymeadows Rd. 402-8084. $ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. L & D, daily. 9910 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-7171. $

BEACHES

36 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.) A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, fried Ipswich clams, crab or clam cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, haddock sandwich, clam chowdah, birch beer and blueberry soda. Dine inside or on the deck. TO. L, Fri.-Tue. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2011. BW. L & D, daily. 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Subs are made-toorder fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ BEACH BUDS CHICKEN F The family-owned place serves marinated fried or baked chicken: family meals (kids like Peruvian nuggets), giant tenders, in box lunches and as MiniMe sandwiches, along with gizzards, livers, 15 sides and fried or blackened shrimp, fish, conch fritters, deviled crabs. TO. L & D, daily. 1289 Penman Road. 247-2828. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets and Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BLUES ROCK CAFE Oceanfront dining experience, featuring an all-American menu, including crab cakes and wings, served in a relaxed atmosphere in the heart of the Beaches. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 831 N. First St. 249-0007. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno clan imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheesesteak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers, dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ BUDDHA’S BELLY F Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 301 10th Ave. N. 372-9149. $$ BURRITO GALLERY EXPRESS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Gallery’s kid sister at the beach each is mostly take-out; same great chow, fast service. 1333 Third St. N. 242-8226. $ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$

CARIBBEE KEY F The island-themed menu of tasty AmeriCaribbean cuisine includes seafood, steaks and sandwiches. Open-air deck bar upstairs; outdoor dining downstairs. FB. L & D, daily. 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach. 270-8940. $$ CASA MARIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Springfield. 2429 S. 3rd St. 372-9000. $ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE F (Formerly The Homestead) The menu features Southern favorites like fried chicken, collards, biscuits and cornbread, as well as fresh seafood, steaks, burgers and chops, served in a family atmosphere inside a cozy log cabin. CM, FB. Sunday brunch; L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1712 Beach Blvd. 249-4776. $$ CRAB CAKE FACTORY JAX F Chef Khan Vongdara presents an innovative menu of seafood dishes and seasonal favorites. FB. L & D daily. 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza. 247-9880. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB Four Culhane sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, with faves Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595. $$ CYCLONES TEX-MEX CANTINA F The place has freshly made Tex-Mex favorites, including fajitas, enchiladas, tacos, burritos, tamales and taco salad. Lunch combos include Mexican rice and beans. FB. L & D, daily. 1222 Third St. S. 694-0488. $$ DICK’S WINGS F The NASCAR-themed place serves 365 varieties of wings. The menu also features half-pound burgers, ribs and salads. BW, TO. L & D daily. 2434 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach, 372-0298. 311 N. Third St., 853-5004. $ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Jax Beach restaurant serves gastropub fare like soups, salads, flatbreads and specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Daily specials, too. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd. 249-3001. $ FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets, grilled tuna and an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HALA SANDWICH SHOP & BAKERY Authentic Middle Eastern favorites include gyros, shwarma, pita bread, made fresh daily. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 249-2212. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 Third St. S. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Western-style seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB The full-service restaurant offers corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See St. Johns Town Center. 1080 Third St. N. 241-5600. $ MEZZA LUNA F A Beaches tradition for 20-plus years. Great food, from gourmet wood-fired pizzas to contemporary American cuisine. Inside or patio dining. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar atmosphere. Favorites are pulled pork, Texas brisket and slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd. 247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25-plus years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings. Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Executive Chef Kenny Gilbert’s cuisine features local fare and innovative dishes, served in an island atmosphere. Dine inside or out on the tiki deck. FB. L & D, Wed.-Sun.; D, nightly. 2309 Beach Blvd. 247-3300. $$ NORTH BEACH BISTRO Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach. 372-4105. $$$ OCEAN 60 A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu. Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 First St. N. 208-5097. $


GRILL ME! A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ

NAME: Patrick Kennedy-Grisham

Walter Coker

RESTAURANT: European Street Café,1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville BIRTHPLACE: Jacksonville YEARS IN THE BUSINESS: 19 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than my own): French Pantry, Powers Avenue FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: Indian FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Shrimp, goat cheese and jalapeños. IDEAL MEAL: The vegetarian dinner for two at India’s Restaurant, with my wife. WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Circus peanuts … yuk. CRAZIEST RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: When a car drove through the wall at European Street … A real drive-thru. INSIDER’S SECRET: If you mix Sprite with Coke, you get ginger ale! CELEBRITY SIGHTING AT E-STREET: Giovanni Ribisi. CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Liquid gold, aka Velveeta.

PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT F The family-style restaurant has an outdoor patio and an extensive menu, including the mariner’s platter and the Original Dreamboat. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 904 Sixth Ave. S. 249-0608. $$ THE PIER RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The oceanfront restaurant offers fresh, local fare served on two floors — upstairs, it’s Chef’s Menu, with stuffed flounder, pork tenderloin, appetizers. Downstairs bar and patio offer casual items, daily drink specials. CM, FB. D, daily; L & D, weekends; brunch, Sun. 412 First St. N. 246-6454. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST F Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent. Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK F Best of Jax 2011 winner. An array of specialty menu items, including signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos and local fried shrimp, in a casual, trendy open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 Third St. N. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. 111 Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried cheese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-8226. $$ TROPICAL SMOOTHIE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. With 12 locations in Northeast Florida, Tropical Smoothie’s got us covered. Serving breakfast, wraps, sandwiches, flatbreads and smoothies — lowfat, fruity, coffees, supplements. CM. Open daily. 1230 Beach Blvd., 242-4940. 251 Third St., Neptune Beach, 247-8323. $ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapasstyle menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive) ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CAFÉ NOLA AT MOCA JAX On the first floor of Museum of Contemporary Art, Cafe Nola serves shrimp and grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. FB. L, Mon.Fri.; D, Thur. 333 N. Laura St. 366-6911 ext. 231. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB A sports bar vibe: 16 big-screen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches, AYCE wings buffet. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd. 356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $

FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Brand new location. See Beaches. FB, CM. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176. 374-1247. $$ INDOCHINE Best of Jax 2011 winner. Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated. Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ TRELLISES HYATT REGENCY This American cuisine restaurant offers a breakfast buffet with made-to-order omelet station and a la carte items. Signature lunch and dinner entrees include grouper salad, Angus burgers, Reubens, French onion grilled cheese, seafood and steaks. Wed. night Pastabilities. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 225 East Coastline Dr. 634-4540. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine. Indoor and outdoor dining and bar. FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION F This place features brick-ovenbaked pizzas, grinders, wings, Philly cheesesteaks, custom sandwiches and fries served in a laid-back setting. FB, 27 beers on draft. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 119 E. Bay St. 860-5451. $ OLIO MARKET F Freshly prepared sandwiches, salads, soups and entrées. In the Churchwell Lofts building, Olio partners eclectic tastes with Old World ambiance in a casual renovated space. L, Mon.-Fri.; late Art Walk. 301 E. Bay St. 356-7100. $$ THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Mon.-Fri.; L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550. 791-9797. $$ VITO’S ITALIAN CAFE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Authentic Italian oven-baked pasta dishes, pizza, veal, chicken and seafood items made with fresh ingredients. CM, FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 174. 355-0064. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. FB. L & D, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ HONEY B’S CAFE Breakfast includes omelets, pancakes, French toast. Lunch offers entrée salads, quiches, build-yourown burgers. Peanut butter pie is a favorite. Tea parties every Sat. B & L, daily. 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 8. 264-7325. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal. 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See St. Johns Town Center. 1800 Town Center Pkwy. 541-1999. $ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The renowned seafood place, family-owned since 1963, specializes in AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. Come by car, boat or bike. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Brucci’s offers authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE F A varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Family-ownedand-operated, serving authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas, pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ THAI ORCHID F The restaurant serves authentic Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, including pad Thai, Thai curry dishes and rice dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 683-1286. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$ TKO’S THAI HUT F The menu offers Thai fusion dishes, curry dishes, chef’s specials, healthy options and sushi. Dine inside or on the covered patio. FB. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 46. 647-7546. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS

BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk. 230-2171. $ VINO’S PIZZA Vino’s Pizza – with four Jacksonville locations – makes all their Italian and American dishes with fresh ingredients. L & D, daily. 605 S.R. 13, Ste. 103. 230-6966. $ WAKAME JAPANESE & THAI CUISINE F The fine dining restaurant offers authentic Japanese and Thai cuisine, including a full sushi menu, curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 108. 230-6688. $$

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F The seafood place features an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, wings and pasta. Favorites are ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller, pitas and kabobs. Sweet potato puffs are the signature side. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F A Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, and king, snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New Yorkstyle pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd. 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd. 880-0020. $ CASA MARIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Springfield. L & D, daily. 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd. 619-8186. $$ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib. Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet daily, lunch buffet weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2011 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd. (Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) GOLDEN CORRAL Family-friendly place; legendary buffet featuring familiar favorites and new items. B, L & D, daily. 11470 San Jose Blvd. 886-9699. $$ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ HARMONIOUS MONKS The American-style steakhouse features a 9-oz. choice Angus center-cut filet topped with gorgonzola shiitake mushroom cream sauce, 8-oz. gourmet burgers, fall-off-the-bone ribs, wraps, sandwiches. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30. 880-3040. $$

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 37


WED:

LIVE MUSIC

THANKSGIVING • OPEN 4 – Close • Bar & Light Snacks Only

LIVE MUSIC w/ MID-LIFE CRISIS

FRI:

220.6766 | 13170 Atlantic Blvd. www.jerryssportsgrille.com

KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily. 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ LET’S NOSH F The authentic Jewish deli offers a full breakfast, lunch, brunch and full-service deli counter. Real New York water bagels, bread baked on site and desserts. CM. B & L, daily. 9850 San Jose Blvd. 683-8346. $ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE Laid-back atmosphere; 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19. 292-0003. $$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 12807 San Jose Blvd. 638-6185. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ PICASSO’S PIZZERIA F Specializes in hand-tossed gourmet pizza, calzones, homemade New York-style cheesecake and handmade pasta. Fresh local seafood and steaks. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 10503 San Jose Blvd. 880-0811. $$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd. 683-2542. $$ TANK’S FAMILY BAR-B-Q Owned and operated by the Tankersley family, the barbecue place offers made-fromscratch Southern-style fare, featuring their own sauces. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 11701 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 23. 351-8265. $$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. L & D, daily. 4268 Oldfield Crossing Dr. 268-6660. $ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a fullservice and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Madeto-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

© 2011 FolioWeekly ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA F The family-owned restaurant offers eggplant dishes, manicotti and New York-style pizza. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 650 Park Ave. 269-1007. $$ BLU TAVERN F The restaurant, serving global cuisine, has an upscale feel with a casual atmosphere. Favorites include bread pudding and specialty appetizers. Blu also serves pasta dishes, burgers, seafood, pork, beef and steaks. CM, FB. L & D, daily; B, Sat. & Sun. only. 1635 Wells Rd. 644-7731. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches. FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine, stuffed grouper. Chef Nick’s salmon is a favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS The Italian restaurant’s specialty is a 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ PASTA MARKET & CLAM BAR F Family-owned-andoperated. Gourmet pizza, veal, chicken, mussels, shrimp, grouper. The pastas: spaghetti, fettuccine, lasagna, calzones, linguini, ravioli, made with fresh ingredients, homemade-style. Daily specials. CM, BW, sangria. 1930 Kingsley Ave. 276-9551. D, nightly. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella. Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches and popular lunches are served. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA F See Beaches. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine includes fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster, vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily. 880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat. Seafood,

38 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower. Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 280-7766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers eclectic cuisine featuring local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club. 285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. FB. L & D, daily. 330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AJ’S ON PARK STREET F AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 359-0035. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery offers classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, all made from scratch, including popular petit fours and custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6, Riverside. 389-7117. $ CARMINE’S PIE HOUSE F The Italian eatery serves pizza by the slice, gourmet pizzas, appetizers, classic Italian dishes — calzone, stromboli, subs, panini — wings, and microbrews in a casual atmosphere. BW, CM, TO. 2677 Forbes St. 387-1400. $$ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily. Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ CROSS CREEK See Springfield. 850 S. Lane Ave. 783-9579. $$ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-and-go sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $ HJ’S BAR & GRILL Traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JACKSONS GRILL The locally owned spot’s original menu has fried pickle chips, Rockin’ Ranch burgers, gumbo, sandwiches. BW, TO. B, L & D, daily. 1522 King St. 384-8984. $$ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.-Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ KICKBACKS GASTROPUB F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The neighborhood hot spot serves pub favorites 20 hours a day, every day. The full bar has over 655 bottled beers, 84 on tap. Outdoor seating. CM. 910 King St. 388-9551. $$ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemade-style sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare is prepared with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily, along with a large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly,


Advertising proof

this is a copyright protected proof © For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 090611 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 promise of benefit

sUpport

Ask for Action

Produced by ab Checked by

Sales Re

Walter Coker

Get your mojo working at Mojo No. 4 in Avondale, a Southern blues kitchen that offers an arty twist on its three sister barbecue joints around town.

non-smoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating. 920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI F Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ SUSHI CAFÉ The café in Riverside Publix Plaza features a variety of sushi, including the popular Monster Roll and the Jimmy Smith Roll, along with faves like Rock-n-Roll and Dynamite Roll. Sushi Café also offers hibachi, tempura, katsu and teriyaki. BW. Dine indoors or on the patio. L & D, daily. 2025 Riverside Ave. 384-2888. $$ TASTI D-LITE Health-conscious desserts include smoothies, shakes, sundaes, cakes and pies, made with fresh ingredients with fewer calories and less fat. More than 100 flavors. Open daily. 1024 Park St. 900-3040. $ 13 GYPSIES F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The neighborhood eatery is intimate and casual, serving tapas, shrimp dishes, salads and pressed sandwiches made from scratch. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 887 Stockton St. 389-0330. $$ TWO DOORS DOWN F Former Tad’s owner offers traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WALKERS The nightspot has a tapas menu plus a wide variety of wines, served in a rustic, intimate atmosphere. BW. Tue.-Sat. 2692 Post St. 894-7465. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS F The Ancient City’s only brew pub taps seven hand-crafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-andoperated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BARNACLE BILL’S F For 30 years, the family restaurant has served seafood, oysters, gator tail, steak and fried shrimp. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily; 14 Castillo Drive, 824-3663. $$ THE BLACK MOLLY BAR & GRILL Fresh, local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D daily. 504 Geoffrey St., Cobblestone Plaza. 547-2723. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ATLANTICO Traditional and new Italian dishes served in an intimate space. Master Chef Paolo Pece prepares risotto alla pescatora, with shrimp, scallops and seasonal shellfish, in a

parmesan cheese basket. BW. D, nightly. 647 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-7332. $$$ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Serving eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd. 460-9311. B, $; L & D, $$ CAP’S ON THE WATER F The Vilano Beach mainstay offers coastal cuisine – tapas platters, cioppino, fresh local shrimp, raw oyster bar – indoors or on an oak-shaded deck. Boat access. FB. L, Fri.-Sun., D, nightly. 4325 Myrtle St., Vilano Beach. 824-8794. $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Authentic New York style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ CELLAR 6 ART GALLERY & WINE BAR Wolfgang Puck coffees, handmade desserts and light bistro-style fare amid local art. BW. Mon.-Sat. 6 Aviles St. 827-9055. $$ CREEKSIDE DINERY Creekside serves beef, chicken and seafood, with an emphasis on low-country cooking. Outdoor deck with a fire pit. FB. D, nightly. 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. 829-6113. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 3 St. George St. 824-6993. $ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2011 winner. International menu features large portions, reasonable prices. FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ KINGFISH GRILL At Vilano Bridge’s west end, Kingfish Grill offers casual waterside dining indoors and on the deck, featuring fresh daily catch, house specialties and sushi. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 252 Yacht Club Drive. 824-2111. $$ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL F Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution housed in an 1884 building, serving nachos, soups, sandwiches and daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just a block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $ THE PRESENT MOMENT CAFÉ Best of Jax 2011 winner. The cozy café serves organic, vegan and vegetarian dishes, pizza, pastas, hummus and milkshakes — all prepared without meat, dairy, wheat or an oven. Organic BW. TO. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.

© 2011

Folio

© 2010

FolioW

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 39


224 W. King St. 827-4499. $ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Family-ownedand-operated, offering specials, fresh artisan breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. BW. D, Tue.Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE Located in a Victorian home, Raintree offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ THE REEF RESTAURANT F Casual oceanfront place with a view from every table. Fresh local seafood, steak, pasta dishes and daily chef specials. Outdoor dining. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily. 4100 Coastal Hwy. A1A, Vilano Beach. 824-8008. $$ SOUTH BEACH GRILL Located off A1A, south of the S.R. 206 bridge, the two-story beachy destination offers casual oceanfront dining and fresh local seafood. Dine indoors or out on a beachfront deck. FB. B, L & D daily. 45 Cubbedge Road, Crescent Beach. 471-8700. $ SPY GLOBAL CUISINE & LOUNGE In the historic district, Spy features James Bond-themed sushi and Mediterraneaninfluenced global cuisine on the seasonal menu, including fresh — never frozen — Hawaiian seafood. Dine indoors or out on the patio. Upstairs lounge, too. Great selection of chilled sakes. BW, CM. D, nightly. 21 Hypolita St. 819-5637. $$$ SUNSET GRILLE Casual Key West style, seafood-heavy menu — it’s a consistent Great Chowder Debate winner. Specialties include baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp and datil pepper wings with bleu cheese dressing. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ THE TASTING ROOM, WINE & TAPAS Owned by Michael Lugo, the upscale contemporary Spanish restaurant fuses innovative tapas with an extensive wine list. L, Wed.-Sun.; D, nightly. 25 Cuna St. 810-2400. $$

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN

BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken, flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining. The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 11. 646-2874. $ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2011 winner. 13249 City Square Dr., 751-9711. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401, 996-6900. $ THE FLAME BROILER Serving food with no transfat, MSG, frying, or skin on meat. Fresh veggies, steamed brown or white rice along with grilled beef, chicken and Korean short ribs are featured. CM, TO. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 103. 619-2786. $ THE GRAPE BISTRO & WINE BAR F More than 145 wines, and gourmet tapas for pairing. Wide beer selection. L & D, daily. 10281 Midtown Parkway, Ste. 119. 642-7111. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Upscale tropical vibe. Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor,

© 2011

FolioWeekly

including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic NYC pizzeria serves Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce, along with third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-from-theoven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown). 997-1955. mellowmushroom.com $ MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F A changing menu of more than 180 items includes cedar-roasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT Best of Jax 2011 winner. Non-fat, low-calorie, cholesterol-free frozen yogurt is served in flavors that change weekly. Toppings include a variety of fruit and nuts. 4860 Big Island Dr. 807-9292. $ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE F The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned with an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen. Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N. 997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, seafood, sandwiches. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ STEAMERS CAFE F Steamers’ menu has all-natural and organic items, including wraps, sandwiches, subs, soups, steamer bowls, smoothies and fresh juices. Daily lunch specials. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4320 Deerwood Lake Parkway, Ste. 106. 646-4527. $ SUITE Best of Jax 2011 winner. St. Johns Town Center premium lounge and restaurant offer chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ TAVERNA YAMAS The Greek restaurant serves char-broiled kabobs, seafood and traditional Greek wines and desserts. FB. L & D daily. 9753 Deer Lake Court. 854-0426. $$ URBAN FLATS F See Ponte Vedra. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Road. 642-1488. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu. CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racing-themed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well

WINE TASTINGS ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur. 9928 Old Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-2656 AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Call for schedule. 4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur. 3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 BLU TAVERN 6-8 p.m. every last Tue. 1635 Wells Rd., Orange Park, 644-7731 COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE 6-8 p.m. every Wed. 1712 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 249-4776 DAMES POINT MARINA Every 3rd Wed. 4518 Irving Rd., Northside, 751-3043 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GRAPE 5-7:30 p.m. every Wed.; 1-4 p.m. every Sat. 10281 Midtown Pkwy., Ste. 119, SJTC, 642-7111 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 NORTH BEACH BISTRO 6-8 p.m. every Tue. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060

40 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

O’KANE’S IRISH PUB 6:30 p.m. every 3rd Tue. 318 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 261-1000 PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m. every second Fri. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766 RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1035 Park St., Five Points, 356-4517 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 III FORKS PRIME STEAKHOUSE 5-6:30 p.m. every Mon. 9822 Tapestry Circle, Ste. 111, SJTC, 928-9277 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 330 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-5515 WHOLE FOODS MARKET 6 p.m. every Thur. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 288-1100 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900


Advertising proo

this is a copyright protected proo as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-9464. $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special. BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

SAN JOSE

ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-2874. $ DICK’S WINGS F NASCAR-themed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolinastyle barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & SUSHI F Offering Thai cuisine, including pad Thai and curry dishes, and sushi in a relaxing atmosphere. L & D, Mon.-Sat. BW. 1004 Hendricks Ave. 674-0190. $$ b.b.’s F Best of Jax 2011 winner. A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F French, Mediterranean-inspired fare, awardwinning wines, wood-fired pizzas, house-made pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 398-1949. $$$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and ontap beers. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd. 398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Wine by the glass. Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd. 398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $ LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients. Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ MORTON’S, THE STEAKHOUSE Morton’s specializes in generous portions of USDA prime aged beef as well as fresh fish and lobster. The tableside menu presentation features every item described by the server. FB, TO. D, nightly. 1510 Riverplace Blvd. 399-3933. $$$ THE OLIVE TREE MEDITERRANEAN GRILLE F Mediterranean homestyle healthy plates: hummus, tebouleh, grape leaves, gyros, potato salad, kibbeh, spinach pie, Greek salad, daily specials. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 1705 Hendricks Ave. 396-2250. $$ PIZZA PALACE F All homemade from Mama’s awardwinning recipes: spinach pizza and chicken-spinach calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees; 30 kinds of smoothies, with flavored soy milks, organic frozen yogurt, granola. Daily. 1962 San Marco Blvd. 396-9222. $ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Consistent Best of Jax winner. Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood, upscale atmosphere. FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd. 306-2188. $$ SAN MARCO DELI F Independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers. Vegetarian options. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitan-style woodfired pizzas and entrées are served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd. 398-3005. $$$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. The San Marco location offers a lunch buffet. L & D, daily. 1430 San Marco Blvd. 683-2444. $

SOUTHSIDE

AROMAS BEER HOUSE Offers customer favorites like ahi

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. rUn dAte: 101811 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

tuna with a sweet soy sauce reduction, backyard burger, triple-meat French dip. FB. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 928-0515. $$ BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. B& promise ofTO.benefit L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ BOMBA’S SOUTHERN HOME COOKING F Southern homestyle fare, featuring fresh veggies. Outside dining is available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8560 Beach Blvd. 997-2291. $$ BUCA DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs are a specialty. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd. 363-9090. $$$ CITY BUFFET CHINESE RESTAURANT F An extensive selection of Chinese fare, including beef, fish, crabs, chicken, pork, desserts, ice cream, at its all-you-can-eat buffet. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 5601 Beach Blvd. 345-2507. $ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual, El Potro cooks it fresh, made-to-order – fast, hot, simple. Daily specials and buffet at most locations. BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 7330844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. elpotrorestaurant.com $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd. 398-1717. $ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily. 11702 Beach Blvd. 997-9738. $$ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serving house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4323 University Blvd. S. 733-5141. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE See Downtown. 2025 Emerson St. 346-3770. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal. 8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE F The stylish gastropub has Southern-style cuisine made with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ SUNSET 30 TAVERN & GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Located in Latitude 30, Sunset 30 serves familiar favorites, including seafood, steaks, sandwiches, burgers, chicken, pasta and pizza. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 10370 Philips Hwy. 365-5555. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F Premium New York-style pizza from a brick-oven — the area’s original gluten-free pizzeria. Plus calzones, soups and salads; Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses and Boylan soda. BW. L & D, Mon.Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ URBAN ORGANICS The local produce co-op offers seasonal fresh organic vegetables and fruit. Open Mon.-Sat. 5325 Fairmont St. 398-8012. WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$

sUpport

Ask for Action

Produced by ab Checked by

Sales

© 2011

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE See Downtown. 5945 New Kings Rd. 765-8515. $ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees. BW. L & D, daily. 7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-andoperated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts. CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ RIVERCITY ISLAND GRILL & CHILL F Casual fare: seafood, wings, burgers. 10 hi-def TVs, drink specials, club nights. L & D, daily. 13141 City Station Dr. 696-0802. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch; family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. 696-4001. $ THREE LAYERS CAFE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines. Inside and courtyard dining. BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield. 355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F Salads, sandwiches, pizza, fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F In the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main, Uptown serves fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$

© 2011

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 41

Fo


Womb for One More

At press time, Melinda Arnold, 34, was waiting to hear if her mother would be accepted as an organ donor for her daughter — with the organ being the mom’s womb. Melinda (a nurse from Melbourne, Australia) was born without one (though with healthy ovaries and eggs), and if the transplant by Swedish surgeon Mats Brannstrom of Gothenburg University is successful, and Melinda later conceives, her baby will be nurtured in the very same uterus in which Melinda, herself, was nurtured. (Womb transplants have been performed in rats and, with limited success, from a deceased human donor.)

Government in Action

A British manufacturer, BCB International, is flourishing, buoyed by sales of its Kevlar underwear, at $65 a pair, to U.S. military personnel in Afghanistan and Iraq. However, soldiers and Marines must buy directly; the “Bomb Boxers” aren’t supplied by the Pentagon even though nearly 10 percent of battlefield explosive-device injuries result in sometimes-catastrophic genital and rectal damage. According to an October item in Talking Points Memo, the Pentagon’s current issued protection is inferior to BCB’s, but less expensive. Though the Pentagon fully funds post-injury prostheses and colostomies, it could buy about 7,700 Bomb Boxers for the price of a single Tomahawk missile. In what a cement company executive said is “one of those bureaucratic things that doesn’t make any sense,” the city of Detroit recently built wheelchair ramps at 13 intersections along Grandy Street, despite knowing the ramps are either not connected to sidewalks or connected to seldom-used, badly crumbling sidewalks. The ramps were required by a 2006 lawsuit settlement in which Detroit pledged to build ramps on any street that’s repaved, as Grandy was. Apparently, no one in city government thought to attempt a trade of these 13 intersections for paving 13 more-widely used ones. A Chicago Tribune/WGN-TV investigation revealed in September and October an astonishing result: Illinois laws passed in 1997 and 2007 at the behest of organized labor have given at least three former union leaders lifetime government pensions as if they’d been city or state employees, totaling an estimated drain of about $7 million on public budgets. Two teachers’ union officials were allowed to teach exactly one day to qualify, and an engineers’ union official was hired for exactly one day, with the trio’s remainder of service on the payroll of the respective unions. A Sept. Tribune report estimated maybe 20 other union officials might’ve been eligible under similar provisions.

Great Art!

42 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

It was haute couture meeting haute cuisine at Berlin’s Communication Museum in November, as prominent German chef Roland Trettl introduced fashions (on live models) made from food, including a tunic of octopus, a seaweed miniskirt, a trouser suit made with lean bacon, a scarf of squid ink pasta, and a hat woven from lettuce. The museum director (presumably without irony) said the items were “provocative” and “raise[d] questions.” Veteran New York City performance artist Marni Kotak, 36, gave birth to her first child, Ajax, on Oct. 25 — and that was “art,” as the birth

took place at in Brooklyn’s Microscope Gallery, after Kotak moved into the space two weeks earlier to interact with visitors. Previously, Kotak had “re-enacted,” as her “art,” her own birth and the loss of her virginity in the back seat of a car. (A New York Times report suggested that Kotak may not be the most extreme performer in her family. Her artist-husband, Jason Martin, makes videos in which he dresses as a wolf or dog and “conducts seance-like rituals intended to contact the half-animal, half-human creatures that visited him in dreams as a child.”)

Police Report

Cutting-Edge Policing: Officials in Prince George’s County, Md., report crime fell as much as 23 percent during the first nine months of 2011 — the result, they said, of meeting with 67 of the most likely recidivist offenders in five neighborhoods and sweet-talking them. The 67 were offered help in applying for various government and volunteer programs, but were told they’d be watched more closely by patrols. Milestone: Joseph Wilson, 50, was chased by police and arrested in Port St. Lucie, Fla., in October, charged with shoplifting from a Beall’s store. It was his 100th arrest — though prosecutors are batting only .353 against him (35-for-99). Wilson’s getaway was delayed when he jumped into the passenger seat of an idling SUV and ordered the driver to “Take off !” The driver did not.

Points for Style

Police in Corpus Christi, Texas, looked to the public for help in October to find the man who, according to surveillance video of a city agency building, stole three surveillance cameras (not the recording units, just the cameras) by lassoing them from their perches near the ceiling. Theresa Mejia, held in the Burlington, Wash., police station on kidnapping charges, climbed through a ceiling vent in a dramatic escape attempt, traversing the entire length of the building before officers knew where she was. However, that put her directly over the police chief ’s office, and she crashed through to the floor.

Least Competent Criminals

Brent Morgan, 20, was arrested in Prince George, B.C., in October on three counts related to the attempted theft of a Corvette. Morgan had seen the car in a driveway, jumped in and locked the doors. However, the owner was in the process of charging the battery, which was still too weak for the car to start and for the door locks to continue working. Feeling trapped and sensing the owner had called police, Morgan panicked and began using any available tool in the car to smash the window. According to the report, officers arrived just as Morgan broke open the driver’s side window, but too late for Morgan to realize he could’ve exited the car by manually lifting the door lock with his fingers.

Recent Alarming Headlines

“Maine Woman Loses Lawsuit Over Removal of Husband’s Brain.” “Killer Sharks Invade Golf Course in Australia.” “Lingerie Football League Wants to Start a Youth League.” “Man Uncooperative After Being Stabbed in Scrotum With Hypodermic Needle.” Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net


SUSHI AND HOOKAH You: Mohawk at sushi in Oak Leaf. Me with my best friend. You sat down with us. I love the blue shirt you had on and how we had a great time. Glad u left with us for hookah. I knew when I met you I would see you again. How soon is too soon? When: Nov. 2, 2011. Where: Sushi. #1222-1122 MISTER HEAVENLY You: Blonde with Miami hat on backwards, arm sleeve. You kept looking, then stood by me but never spoke. Don’t be shy. I never make first moves. Me: Well, you know; you stared long enough ;) When: Nov. 8, 2011. Where: Café 11, St. Auggie. #1221-1115 VEXING VOLCOM A little after 9 pm. You: Wearing a black Volcom hoodie, and wearing it well. Me: Noticing nothing but you. Wondering if you’d like to bump into me there again Sunday, Nov 13th about the same time? When: Nov. 1, 2011. Where: The Pita Pit in Jax Beach. #1220-1115 WALKIN’ AFTER MIDNIGHT It was Halloween and you were dressed as the most beautiful woman in the world. I saw your radiant eyes and fell in love all over again. Nurse, you give me fever that’s so hard to bear. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Let me treat you right? When: Oct. 31, 2011. Where: Wall Street. #1219-1108 SEA SHELL Dear Sir, I put a seashell into your hand ... Nearly 2 months later, I chanced upon your newspaper gesture (was charmed and surprised). Responded back to your listing, but to no avail. Alas! Curiosity may have killed the cat? ... Consider this take two. When: Sept. 3, 2011. Where: The Floridian Restaurant. #1218-1108 BODACIOUS BURRO BARTENDER You: Model-looking chick workin’ the bar, slender like a traffic light, wondering if you could show me the red-light special? Me: mesmerized, Burro is now my favorite Jax bar. When: Oct. 24, 2011. Where: Burro Bar. #1217-1108 SIR, I’M A CATCH I was dancing with friends, you were too. You spilled your drink down my back and bought me one to make up for it. I wish I had concocted a business proposal sooner! You: Fearless and full of bravado. Me: A fine catch, sir. Sign that business proposal! When: Aug. 6, 2011?. Where: Lit/ Downtown. #1216-1108 HANDSOME MAN ON HIS BMW You were pumping gas for your motorcycle at the Shell station off Gate Parkway on 9/30/2011, Jacksonville. I watched you thinking … wow! You: Long pony tail, shades and cute dimples. Me: Tall brunette, jeans and t-shirt. I’ve been thinking about you and would love a ride on your bike. Call me. When: Sept. 30, 2011. Where: Shell Gas Station @ Gate Parkway. #1215-1108 BEAUTIFUL BALLERINA IN BLACK You: Extremely hot, petite blonde; the kind you want to take home to Mom. You were walking around helping anyone who raised their hand. Me: Too scared to raise my hand to get your number. Let’s do drinks or dinner sometime. When: Oct. 24, 2011. Where: The Trading Floor. #1214-1108 AUBURN BEAUTY You: short cut-off jean shorts and black shirt with the shoulder straps. Beautiful auburn hair. You came into my work and got a sub. Me: Dark hair with eyebrow pierced. I was making your sub. You are a true beauty and I would like to take you out and see if there’s a spark. Hope to hear from you ;) When: Oct. 25, 2011. Where: Fleming Island. #1213-1101

NINJA WENCH… You approached with a hello, several adult beverages later, a misguided GPS, and a night I’ll never forget. Breakfast again soon? And many convos... You know how to find me :) When: Oct. 7, 2011. Where: United States. #1209-1025

DARK & STORMY IN BLACK APRON Was that whiskey on your lips? How delectable. I saw a smile under that beard. Feeling invincible? I’ll introduce myself next time. You: menacing. Me: caught in the storm. When: Sept. 2011. Where: Mojo. #1201-1011

WATER BOY! You: Hard-working Zephyr Water boy with light eyes carrying empty water barrels to your truck with a handy sidekick. Me: Blue eyes, dressed up in all black, completely in your way, making light jokes with the older receptionist. We made eye contact more than once in halls. Special delivery! You could be my water boy anytime... :) When: Oct. 18, 2011. Where: C. Serv. Off St. Johns. #1208-1025

GORGEOUS DUDE LONG CURLY HAIR I see you only once in a while, you hardly ever shop there. You’re usually with friends but you were alone the last time I saw you. You’re so gorgeous, EXACTLY my type. Hoping you notice me one day. You: handsome, long, curly haired, lean, fit customer at Publix. Me: tall, thin, model chick CASHIER at Publix. When: Sept. 2011. Where: Publix at Southside and Touchton Rd. #1200-1011

SPEED RACER We were running a 5k prediction race. I was with a friend and he was talking a lot during the beginning of the race. He was talking to you and asking you questions. I was standing next to him just listening. You sound like a cool girl. Let’s get dinner some time. When: Sept. 20, 2011. Where: Starbucks parking lot. #1207-1025 LOOKING PRETTY IN THE LIBRARY You were carrying your toddler, looking for a book with a boot on the cover. Things seemed to click with us. I hope I get a chance to see a lot more of you. When: Friday. Where: Library north of JU. #1206-1025 BREW AT THE ZOO You were sampling a piece of aged sirloin as I was saying that “I highly recommended it.” Me: Blonde hair, was wearing a blue polo w/ orange horse, jeans, flip flops. You, Beautiful/natural blonde, brown leg boots and dark jeans. Would love to meet you for real instead of just passing. When: Oct. 7, 2011. Where: Brew at the Zoo. #1205-1018 HOTTIE IN BLUE NIRVANA SHIRT Saw you there, the row behind me singing the words to every song. Smiled at you but was too nervous to do anything. I was in the dark pink tank top the row in front and to your right. When: Oct. 7, 2011. Where: Florida Theatre Death Cab Concert. #1204-1018 GRAY SWEATPANTS AT LIFESTYLE FITNESS To the short buff guy in a black “gym life” tank top and gray shorts at Lifestyle Fitness. You were looking so hot. You were on the treadmill next to me talking about your time in the Navy, I hope next time you will ask me out. When: Oct. 6, 2011. Where: Lifestyle Fitness. #1203-1018 INSANELY ATTRACTIVE BARTENDER You were the bartender at Burro Bar. I had no idea what to order but you found me something tasty! Then I saw you at ShantyTown once again tending bar but this time I knew what was up and got a root beer. P.S. I liked your glasses! When: Oct. 5, 2011. Where: Burro Bar/ ShantyTown. #1202-1018

BEAUTIFUL LASS IN A 350Z I saw U driving that silver 350Z like it should be driven! Very impressed with your semi-aggressive driving and impressive looks! You turned off Baymeadows onto Western Way around 8 am. I was behind you in a blue Chevy Silverado. When: Sept. 27, 2011. Where: Baymeadows & Western Way. #1199-1004 PRETTIEST GIRL AT THE WEDDING You: Wearing black and white dress, brown hair and hazel eyes. Me: Working event, with brown hair. You caught my eye when you walked in the door. Later we shared a smile as you walked by me. I wish the setting was different. Wasn’t the right time to talk. I wish it was different. So badly wanted to say hi. When: Sept. 24, 2011. Where: Ponte Vedra. #1198-1004 MY FAVORITE BARKEEP You approached me outside Cool Moose. Long time no see. I thought you were gone forever. I have been anxiously waiting your return. Let us drink beer in the park sometime. You pour the beers and I will bring the goblets. You are the man of my daydreams. When: Sept. 14, 2011. Where: Cool Moose Café. #1197-1004 OH OFFICER SCRUMPTIOUS, THANK YOU! Officer B, you took us seriously and we love you for it! Us: Porch-sittin’ women in fear of scary misinformed repo man. You: Pretty blue-eyed MIU who responded and resolved it all. Feel free to stop and share stories anytime. We know we can’t have you but we feel safe and all goosepimply just knowing you’re nearby... When: Sept. 18, 2011. Where: Curbside in my ‘hood. #1196-0927 BE MY PIANO MAN! Me: Working behind the bar. You: Sexy one going to fire school. We talked about me studying religion and you said I should study you while your GF was in the bathroom. Came back to your house and sang Billy Joel all night. Should have tried to kiss you when your GF wasn’t looking. Maybe next time I won’t be scared. When: July 9, 2011. Where: Jax Sports Bar & Grill. #1195-0927 4-RUNNER HOTTIE In the parking lot at work getting out of your old body 4-Runner but that wasn’t the body I was

looking at! You: Blonde curly hair. Me: Guy in white truck. You make me want to come to work early just so I can see you walk up. Maybe one day I will actually walk up with you. When: Sept. 12, 2011. Where: At work. #1194-0927 COMEDIAN WITH TATTOOS You: light-eyed, brown-haired gorgeous server at Biscottis, covered in tattoos. I was with my parents so I was too shy to ask for your number. Me: Petite Redhead with a tattoo sleeve. Love that Mario tattoo :) Let’s get together and maybe it will be less awkward without my parents there. When: Sept. 12, 2011. Where: Biscottis. #1193-0927 JERSEY SHORE ROBBERY La première fois! When: Last Winter. Where: UNF library with my ex-girlfriend. So sorry it didn’t work out with her, but so happy it’s working with me! You are a walking piece of artwork, a real Greek Goddess. The best part is that you have the brains to match. Let’s make like atoms and bond! Sincerely yours, nomadic pastry chef. When: Last winter. Where: With my ex-girlfriend. #1192-0927 ACHOO AND LOLA Sexy Asian and a monkey with a mohawk, you two drove me crazy. Can’t wait to see you again, lol. When: Sept. 14, 2011. Where: Beach. #1191-0927 U.S. COAST GUARD HOTTIE You were waiting patiently, dressed in uniform looking mighty fine, your half-sleeve tattoo slightly visible. I was with my co-workers learning the iPad2, and I couldn’t focus because you gave me butterflies. I am not sure if you are down with the ladies but I would let you rescue me any day. When: Sept. 9, 2011. Where: Apple Store, St. Johns Town Center. #1190-0920 123 HOTTIE SUPREME! U tattooed my bf, felt an instant connection & been watchin’ longingly from afar ever since. Me: avid gun collector, amateur stalker, want to spend the rest of my life searchin’ for manatees with you! I heart u 747! When: Sept. 11, 2011. Where: Black Anchor Tattoo. #1189-0920 NASCAR CHICK SEEKS EMEDIA NERD You: blond sweet smart shy. Me: brunette bombastic smart fun... can I meet u at DD sometime? I know it is closed but that shouldn’t matter. When: Dec. 2010. Where: That sports-tech company. #1188-0920 SHELL PENDANT GIFT, FLORIDIAN RESTAURANT We were at the Floridian restaurant anniversary show. You: curly blond bob hairdo, vintage floral cottage dress, I couldn’t see your shoes, are you Swedish? I’m the tall long hair.. You gave me a shell necklace and left, I tried to look but you had vanished. I want to see you again and talk... When: Sept. 3, 2011. Where: The Floridian Restaurant. #1187-0920

To place your free I Saw U love connection, go to folioweekly.com/isawu.php fax 904.260.9773 or snail mail ATTN: I Saw U Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256

HOW TO RESPOND TO AN I SAW U LISTING (COST IS $5 PER RESPONSE)

NAME _________________________ PHONE __________________________ E-MAIL _______________________

BOX # OF LISTING_____________________________

ADDRESS____________________________________CITY_________________________STATE____ZIP________ D.O.B. (NOTE: THIS WILL NOT BE INCLUDED IN YOUR I SAW U)______________________

HOW WOULD YOU PREFER THE I SAW U LISTER TO CONTACT YOU?

60-WORD I SAW U, NO ABBREVIATIONS AND PLEASE NO NAMES!

EMAIL ______________________________________

HEADLINE________________________________________________________________________________ SIGHTING LOCATION________________________________________________SIGHTING DATE________________

AND/OR PHONE _____________________________________

WHITEY’S FISH CAMP & PATRON SHOTS We met at Whitey’s and had some shots and then I lost you and never got your number. I guess the shots got to me, but not as much as you got to me. Hope you find this; I would like to see you again. When: Oct. 24, 2011. Where: Whitey’s Fish Camp. #1212-1101

___________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

MESSAGE (OPTIONAL) FOR I SAW U LISTER —15 WORD MAX ___________________________________________

MY BROWN EYED GIRL… It was that special night I cannot forget. Looking into your soft brown eyes it made my heart skip a beat and wanted to freeze time so I could forever cherish that moment. When: Oct. 20, 2011. Where: Fresh Off The Bus. #1211-1101

____________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________

MINIMUM OF 4 WEEKS TO FIND YOUR MISSED LOVE CONNECTION. I Saw U Policies: Folio Weekly reserves the right to edit or refuse any listing or introduction. One listing per person. Listings are for individuals seeking monogamous relationships. I Saw U ads are only for people who have seen someone they’d like to meet. You must be single and 18 years of age or older. Explicit sexual or anatomical wording is prohibited, along with offers of money, trips, employment, living arrangements or gifts in exchange for companionship. No names in ads, please. Listings are printed on a space-available basis.

FOLIOWEEKLY.COM/ISAWU.PHP

QUIET HANDSOME BARTENDER You: Polite, no frills bartender, working in the front taproom. Just want you to know that you have a nice smile. When: Oct. 20, 2011. Where: Ragtime. #1210-1101

___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________

TO RESPOND ONLINE, LOG ON TO

OR MAIL CHECK FOR $5 PER LISTING TO: I SAW U FOLIO WEEKLY 9456 PHILIPS HWY., STE. 11 JACKSONVILLE, FL 32256

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 43


ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Basic research is what I am doing when I don’t know what I am doing,” said rocket scientist Werner von Braun. It’s an excellent time to plunge into that kind of basic research. You’re overdue to wander around frontiers you didn’t even realize you needed to investigate. You’re ready to soak up insights from outside your understanding’s boundaries. It’s your sacred duty to expose yourself to raw truths and unexpected vistas that have been beyond your imagination’s power to envision. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In Woody Allen’s film “Midnight in Paris,” the Ernest Hemingway character says, “All cowardice comes from not loving, or not loving well enough.” Given the state of your current astrological omens, that’s excellent advice. You’re going to be asked to call on previously untapped reserves of courage in the weeks ahead — not because you’ll face physical danger, but because you’ll have a chance to get to the bottom of mysteries that can only be explored if you have more courage than you’ve had. The best way to summon the valor you’ll need? Love like a god or goddess loves. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “When I see your face, the stones start spinning!” wrote poet Rumi, as translated by Coleman Barks. “Water turns pearly. Fire dies down and doesn’t destroy. In your presence I don’t want what I thought I wanted.” You need to be in the presence of a face like that. You’ve got to get your fixations scrambled by an arresting vision of soulful authenticity. You need your colors transposed and your fire and water reconfigured. Most of all, it’s crucial to get nudged into transforming your ideas about what you really want. Go find that healingly disruptive prod. It’s not necessarily the face of a gorgeous icon. It could be the face of a whisperer in the darkness or a humble hero skilled in the art of surrender. Do you know where to look? CANCER (June 21-July 22): “All my life, I have longed to be loved by a woman who was melancholy, thin and an actress,” wrote 19thcentury French author Stendhal in his diary. “Now I have been, and I am not happy.” I had a similar experience — craving a particular type of woman who, when she finally showed up in the flesh, disappointed me. But it turned out to be a liberating experience. Relieved of my delusory fantasy, I was able to draw more joy from what life was actually giving. As you contemplate your own loss, I hope you’ll find the release and deliverance I did. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If you traveled 300 million years back in time, you might freak out in abject fear encountering dragonflies as big as eagles and cockroaches the size of dogs. But since you’re quite safe from those monsters here in the present, don’t worry yourself sick. Similarly, if you managed to locate a time machine and return to an earlier phase of your current life, you’d come upon events that upset and derailed you way back then. And yet the odds are high that you’re not going to find a time machine. Agree to relinquish all the anxiety you’re still carrying from those experiences. Now’s an excellent moment to do so. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): To prepare for her role in the film “The Help,” actress Jessica Chastain forced herself to gain 15 pounds. It was tough, because she usually follows a healthful diet. The strategy that worked best was to ingest a lot of calorie-heavy, estrogen-rich ice cream made from soybeans. To be aligned with current cosmic rhythms, it’d make sense for you to fatten yourself up, too — metaphorically speaking, that is. You’d benefit from having more ballast, more gravitas. Be sure you’re well44 | FOLIO WEEKLY | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

anchored and not easy to push around. It’s nearly time to take an unshakable stand for what you care about most. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In a famous Monty Python sketch, a Hungarian tourist goes into a British tobacconist’s store to buy cigarettes. Since he doesn’t speak English, he consults a phrase book to find the right words. “My hovercraft is full of eels,” he tells the clerk, who’s not sure what he means. The tourist tries again: “Do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?” Again, the clerk’s confused. In the week ahead, I foresee you having to deal with communications equally askew. Be patient. Try to figure out the intentions and meanings behind the odd messages you get. Your translating skills are at a peak, fortunately, as are your abilities to understand what others — even fuzzy thinkers — are saying. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): There are modern Chinese painters who use oil paints on canvas to create near-perfect replicas of famous European masterpieces. So while the genuine copy of Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” is worth more than $100 million, you can buy an excellent copy on the Internet for less than $100. If you’re faced with a comparable choice in the week ahead — whether to go with a pricey original or a cheaper but good facsimile, take the latter. For current purposes, you just need what works, not what gives you prestige or bragging rights. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “It is a tremendous act of violence to begin anything,” wrote Sagittarian poet Rainer Maria Rilke. “I am not able to begin. I simply skip what should be the beginning.” Consider that approach. Instead of worrying about how to launch your rebirth, maybe you should just dive into the middle of the new life you want. Avoid stewing interminably in the frustrating mysteries of primal chaos, so you can leap into the fun in full swing. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Golden Gate Bridge spans the place where San Francisco Bay meets the Pacific Ocean. It wasn’t easy to build. The water below is deep, wind-swept, beset with swirling currents and, on occasion, shrouded in blinding fog. Recognizing its magnificence, the American Society of Civil Engineers calls the bridge one of the modern Wonders of the World. Strange to think, then, that the bridge was constructed between 1933-’37, during the height of the Great Depression. Make it your symbol of power for the weeks ahead. Formulate a plan to work toward a triumph in the least successful part of your life. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s an excellent time for you to get an entourage or, if you already have one, to expand it. For that matter, it’s a perfect moment to recruit more soldiers to help carry out your plot to overthrow the status quo. Or round up more allies for your plans to change the course of local history. Or gather more accomplices as you seek to boldly go where you’ve never been. So beef up your support system. Boost the likelihood that your conspiracy will succeed. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): If you expand your concept of what you can do, you’ll receive a specific offer to move up a notch. If you perform your duties with intensified care and grace, you’ll be given new responsibilities that catalyze your sleeping potential. The universe doesn’t always act with so much karmic precision, with such sleek, efficient fairness, but that’s how it’s working in your vicinity now. Another example of how reasonable the fates are behaving: If you resolve to compete against no one but yourself, you’ll be shown new secrets about how to express your idiosyncratic genius. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com


FOR SALE

SPORTING GOODS 5’10” CHANNEL ISLAND SURFBOARD $350, Call Brian, (555)555-5555

RIVERSIDE LARGE STUDIO Fully Remodeled, CHA, W/D included. $445 month/ $400 deposit. 931 Rubel St. Call 904-465-3567 or visit www. lumorrental.com

EMPLOYMENT GENERAL EMPLOYMENT $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT. 2450. http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN) MOVIE EXTRAS People needed now to stand in the background for a major film. Earn up to $300 per day. Exp. not REQ. CALL NOW AND SPEAK TO A LIVE PERSON, 877-426-8310. PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1,000 a Week mailing brochures from home! Guaranteed Income! FREE Supplies! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.homemailerprogram.net (AAN CAN)

RESTAURANTS/BARS

THREE LAYERS CAFE Best Coffeehouse 2011* is looking for fun energetic people to join our team. Seeking to fill full time and part time flex position. Please email work history and contact info to threelayersmanager@gmail.com.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES BEST KEPT SECRET IN AMERICA $210 Billion Wealth System. Right up under your nose!!! Visit: www.TryLightYear.com or Call Don Direct at 904-472-7009.

EDUCATION HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Graduate in just 4 weeks!!! FREE Brochure. Call NOW! 1-800-532-6546 Ext. 97. www.continentalacademy.com (AAN CAN)

RENTALS FREE RENTAL FLYERS! Homes, Condos and Apartments. Traditions Realty, 2021 Park St. Traditionsjax.com. Open 7 days a Week @ 904-683-5230. Tenant Placement & Property Management Services. ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

FURNISHED APARTMENTS WESTSIDE 1 BEDROOM APARTMENT ALL Utilities and Cable included. Mostly Furnished. $165/ week and $500 deposit. Call 904-695-1412.

UNFURNISHED APARTMENTS

START YOUR OWN BUSINESS We train part time. A potential $1,500 to $2,000 a month. Can be done outside your job. This is a career not a job. Call D.A. 904-414-0594.

WESTSIDE LARGE 2 BEDROOM, 2 BATH Newly painted and tiled Townhouse, fireplace, fenced-in backyard, W&D included. $700/$725 month/ $725 deposit. Call 904-695-1412.

BE YOUR OWN BOSS AND OWN YOUR OWN COMMERCIAL CLEANING FRANCHISE *Ground Floor opportunity *Low down payments *Accounts provided & guaranteed *No selling required *Guaranteed financing Mint Condition, Inc. 904.450.4386. www.mintconditioninc.com

AVONDALE/RIVERSIDE 2 Bed/1 Bath, 1,800 Square Feet. $615/Month, $615/ Deposit. $40 Application fee. Available January 1, 2012. Call 904-535-7057 for an appointment. AVONDALE 3 BEDROOM/1 BATH, 1,800 Square Feet, Tiled Flooring. $615/Month, $615/Deposit. $40 Application fee. Available Now. Call 904-535-7057 for appointment.

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE MANUFACTURED HOMES PALM HARBOR HOMES Factory Direct Sale $15K-$25K Off Models 800-622-2832 ext. 210

SERVICE DIRECTORY LEGAL FOR ALL YOUR LEGAL NEEDS www.YourJacksonvilleLawyer.com Reasonable Rates & Payment Options. Call 904-384-4911 for a FREE Consultation. HAVE YOU LOST Your right to own firearms? Call Anthony Blackburn, Attorney At Law, 904-887-0013. 4812 San Juan Ave., Jacksonville, FL 32210. DIVORCE $75-$125, BANKRUPTCY $100-$150 18 Years Experience. CALL ERIC, 904-424-6066. CRIMINAL RECORD SEALING Criminal Defense, DUIs, Divorce & Car Accidents. Call The Law Offices Of Micolle D. Rosenberry, P.A. for a FREE phone consultation and find out your rights! 805-8881 or visit www.micolleroselaw.com.

MISCELLANEOUS I BUY, SELL, TRADE AND REPAIR Washers/dryers, stoves and refrigerators. Starting $65 up. Warranty, delivery available. (904) 695-1412. CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-4203808. www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN) ST. ANTHONY’S NATIONAL CATHOLIC CHURCH A Parish of the National Catholic Church of North America Chapel at St. Luke’s, 1140 S. McDuff at Remington Sunday Mass at 10:30 a.m. * 904-403-8328 / 904-5739309 sanccmmb@aol.com www.nationalcatholicchurch.org

AUTOMOTIVE CASH FOR CARS GET MORE $$$ ALL CARS WANTED, NEW OR OLD. WE COME TO YOU. FREE PICK UP/TOW. LOCAL 1-800-331-2158.

ADULT SINGLES SCENE CHAT LINES

FUN, FLIRTY, LOCAL WOMEN Call FREE! 904-421-7060 or 800-210-1010. 18+. livelinks.com

HOT GUYS! HOT CHAT! HOT FUN! Call FREE! 904-861-3117 or 800-777-8000. 18+. interactivemale.com HOT GAY & BI LOCALS Browse & Reply FREE! 904-721-9999 Use FREE Code 5932, 18+. MEET GLBT SINGLES Listen to Ads & Reply FREE! 904-721-9999 Use Code 5933, 18+. MEET FUN SEXY SINGLES Listen to Ads & Reply FREE! 904-721-7000 FREE Code 7790 www..MegaMates.com, 18+. WHERE SINGLES MEET Browse & Respond FREE! 904-721-7000 FREE CODE 7791, 18+. MEN SEEKING MEN 1-877-409-8884 Gay hot phone chat, 24/7! Talk to or meet sexy guys in your area anytime you need it. Fulfill your wildest fantasy. Private & confidential. Guys always available. 1-877-409-8884 Free to try. 18+. FREE TO TRY! Hot Talk 1-866-601-7781. Naughty Local Girls! Try For Free! 1-877-433-0927 Try For Free! 100’s Of Local Women! 1-866-517-6011. Live Sexy Talk 1-877-602-7970. 18+. (AAN CAN)

MIND/BODY/SPIRIT PSYCHIC MEDIUM & HYPNOTIST Help you with life guidance, weight loss, and messages from heaven. 904-404-6758. freshspiritadventures.com

NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | folio weekly | 45


FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

Florida’s Finest Jeweler SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

SOUTHSIDE

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 394-1390

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

Swapping Spree 1 4 7 10 14 17 19 20 21 22 24 25 26 29 32 33 34 35 36 37 42 45 46 47 52 53 54 55 59 63 65 66 67 72 73 75 76 78 81 82 84

ACROSS Justice Fortas Joe holder Shade provider Greek letter Player’s hope Eschew plastic Not in the pen Norwegian’s name “It’s ___-brainer” Favorite stopover of Spanish sailors? Creme/creme filling Affectionate gesture School that invented the drinking song? Bother Road crew’s supply ___ double-take To be in another country? Bud’s bud Loft contents What the dieting seagull was on? Everyone, on game boxes Jackie’s second Discomfort Inventor of bread? Listen here Strummer’s buy, briefly Dilbert has one that seems to defy gravity Chophouse items Some fractions Some convertibles Icicles do it Actress Longoria Reality according to Sarah? ___ symptoms Orange covering Hoosier State hoopster 2007 Al Gore book, “The Assault ___” Naval forces ___ Na Na Peas keeper? It might be frigid 1

2

3

17

4

AVENUES MALL

85 Three Stooges short set in Wisconsin? 92 Summer ermines 94 Tuck’s partner 95 “I’ve been framed!” 96 Q: “What do you see lots of at Jerry’s family reunions?” A: “___” 100 They show shows 101 Brief moment, briefly 102 ___ happens 103 Often windowless vehicle 104 Reset setting 105 Kresge’s store, today 107 Why Andy Capp took a class on ’andicapping? 114 Concealed 115 Off-key 116 What a Teamster may take in Manhattan? 120 Comic Philips 121 Stop order? 122 Some PCs 123 Went by, as time 124 Start of a dog 125 Plies politely 126 Profs’ helpers 127 Cotillion celeb 128 Doubtfire, e.g. DOWN 1 Easy to teach, perhaps 2 Dismissing word 3 Needle feature 4 Tote 5 West Point’s sch. 6 Ghost 7 Canal of song 8 Look through here 9 Small, to Salvador 10 Leo’s place? 11 Mtn. stat 12 Story 13 To distant places 14 Elk 15 “K-i-s-s-i-n-g” place 16 “Be patient” 18 ___ San Lucas 19 Equitable 23 1944 event 5

6

7

18

27 This instant 28 Given a shot, maybe 29 What “there oughta be” 30 ___ me tangere 31 Void’s partner 36 Fireplace 37 “Laugh-In” name 38 Like some rappers 39 Regret 40 Alicia and Gasteyer 41 Oscar superlative 43 Nautical adverb 44 San Francisco player 45 Arctic bird 48 Rapid-transit bargain 49 James Bond was kicked out of it 50 Argument upshot 51 The very beginning 56 Terrier retorts 57 Start to byte? 58 Gave a favorable slant to 59 Lowly worker 60 Bad to the bone 61 Wind instrument? 62 Word before “cat” 63 “Yes, general?” 64 Vampire vaporizer 68 Need an aspirin 69 Caterpillar’s snack 70 Plots (of land) 71 Whodunit suspects, perhaps

S I G N A B E E T I A R D R I

8

A P A R T

S A B E R

D O R M

O N E A L

S T O W

N A N A

30

32

10

37

44

52 61

73

W A T

S N A C R K I G A S F A L T A G D O R P A A D

R A N R A M I I N N G N O H I P T E

12

85

80

49 54

40

50

13

93 98

14

15

16

57

58

90

91

O S H A G I R L E L Y S E N A S

41

55

56

64

65 70

82

86

103

B I N OO O I N M AW A G E V E S E R A C P E T E R OM E R E S E N

E T O P S O N E T S O U T A T S E N D I E A G L E G T H I N L T E R I L T O G A T O L EWE E M I C S P OO T H EWA H A R A S E A N T R I E S T E D L O V I A R OM M I L E

51

76

97

A S T A K E

K E N Y A

28

69

81

102

O Y E Z

25

63

96

W A W A

34

75 79

92

L A P O F S C

D O S D A E G B E

E O N S

B A S E S

24

39

53

68

74

78

N A M E R

O V U M

21

38

48

67

113 117 118 119

46

62

66

112

Extracts by boiling Vicinity From Bangkok ___ good example Advertising award Snowy peak Non-PC suffix Gerund finish Single again “Born Free” lion Boater’s walkway Religious offshoot Japanese menu item Checked the fit of Assemble Keeps from occurring iPhoto runner Grasp instinctively Porky or Daffy Barcelona bears Shish finish Abbr. in auto ads Abbr. on egg cartons Negative chorus Chinese boat Org. for ladies who dribble Points before clicking? Store event Marx follower? German article Some WSJ or NYT employees

20

45

47

60

11

L I N G U A

33

36 43

S T D A I V I N E S A U R E Z T U R O L S S S E T H E L I V N A S T H T O O N I L S A T I A T G A

27

31

42

46 | folio weekly | NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011

A L G R E E WN O N D K E A C L A I R N M E Y S

23

35

59

T R I T E

9

26 29

74 77 79 80 82 83 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 96 97 98 99 100 104 105 106 108 109 110 111

Solution to “Adopt-a-Highway: My Story”

19

22

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 388-5406

72 77

83

84

87

88

94

95

99

71

89

100

101

104

105 106

107

108 109 110

111 112

113

114

115

116

120

121

122

123

124

125

126

127

117 118 119

128


A handful of As for your everloving Qs Life-changing advice from me, Johnny Gazpacho

A

re you tired of listening to people telling you how to live your life? How many times have you been told what fork to use, or what slacks to wear? How many times do you have to be told drinking mercury is bad for you before you stop doing it? Don’t fret, gorgeous reader, I can help. Hi, my name is Johnny Gazpacho, and I am well-schooled in the blunt art of personal reformation. Sure, there are plenty of people who will tell you how to talk to a friend about his lousy personal hygiene, or what slacks to wear on Thursdays. But has anyone ever told you how to handle someone who doesn’t believe we went to the moon? What about hippies? Who helps you with them? I do, that’s who. My advice is simple and unadulterated. I don’t listen to anyone, I rarely do what I am told, and if you say the sky is blue, I will tell you your face is gross. Ask my bosses here at Folio Weekly; I am a nightmare to handle. Not in the sort of way that Charles Barkley was, where his talent made up for his attitude. My talent doesn’t make up for anything. But, still, I want to help. I want to inform. I want to show you folks what is really important. Read the stuff that follows — it’ll help you be more like me. People will tell you that’s a bad idea. Don’t listen to them. Don’t ever drink Goldschläger. You may very well end up throwing lounge chairs off the deck of a cruise ship. Sarcasm is way overused. Trust me, I made it that way. Reserve sarcasm for only the best situations. People are going to say stupid things to you all day long. Let most of them go. You’ll know when the moment calls for real sarcasm. Throw your cell phone away. We are all going to die because of them. Don’t let old people get away with being racist or sexist. Don’t baby them about it, either. Get right in their face and loudly tell them to go to bed. Rorschach did the inkblots. Horshack said “Meeester Kottah.” Don’t get these two confused in a dinner party conversation. Unless you’re a farmer with acres of land, and there’s a silo on your property, don’t compost anything or grow weird beets in your backyard. Zumba is some weird aerobics thing. Rhumba is a robot vacuum. Don’t get these two confused in a dinner party conversation. Don’t listen to anyone on TV. If you want to wear sweat pants or track suits, go right ahead. Moisturizing is key. Don’t stare at women. Ever. If you get caught for even one second, you’re a creep to them forever. Fleeting glances, yes; skullhumping stares, no. For every game of Scrabble you play on your phone, play two real ones on a tangible board, with tangible letters and tangible people. Go outside. You don’t have to wash your hair every time you shower. Maybe every other time. Unless you have long hair. Then, maybe, wash it. If you watch housewives do anything other than pool boys or pizza-delivery men, you need to apologize to your family.

If your finances allow, put a urinal in your home bathroom. Hug your friends a lot. They may think you’re a weirdo, but one day they’ll appreciate it. When you toast someone, say “Cheers” and look straight into their eyes for three seconds. I learned this from a Nigerian guy. Don’t forget we whooped some British ass way back when. Remind people of that at dinner parties. When referring to Jimmy Buffett around people who like him, call him Jim Buffett. Eat a shit-ton of ice cream. Learn how to string a guitar. Come over to my house and string my guitars.

Vichyssoise is a cold soup. Laissez-faire is an economic principle focused on freedom from government intervention. Don’t get these two confused at a dinner party. You used to be able to smoke inside. Thanks, Obama. Badger hair is the best hair for shaving brushes, but probably the worst for condoms. Always give people space. Don’t crowd people. Don’t touch them, either. There’s an ethical riddle present in those who consume vegetarian hamburgers or hot dogs. I can’t articulate it, but I know there’s something wrong with them. If it’s turkey-based, it ain’t for me, sailor.

There’s an ethical riddle present in those who consume vegetarian hamburgers or hot dogs. I can’t articulate it, but I know there’s something wrong with them. Get sensual massages more than you give sensual massages. Just know that the Queen of England has a trampoline. I swear to God. I have seen it. Don’t go to dinner parties. Don’t let little kids win at anything. Whup their asses. If you are going to say, “Tippecanoe and Tyler, too,” make sure you know who the Tippecanoe part refers to. Organic? Ehhh, I don’t know. Don’t say the word “regime,” unless you’re referring to some despot. That is it. Not in sports, not in business, not in local politics. Be able to get at least through the first five and last five presidents we have had, in order. Stop touching that thing. Smile. Learn how to take criticism. If you can’t commit to that, learn how to fly off the handle well. Really make a scene of it. Pretend you’re a basketball coach getting kicked out of a game. Throw a chair. Forget about the courthouse. It’s built; get over it. I say fuck it, wear a fanny pack. The world is clearly getting warmer. That being said, spray cans of Aqua Net out your window as your drive to the mailbox in your Hummer. People like to hear that they have pretty eyes. All eyes are pretty to me, so I don’t have to lie when I say it.

What happened to all the Putt Putts? At some point in our history, didn’t they sell generic cereals and other food stuffs in plain white boxes that just said “cereal”? I feel like they did. We need to go back to this. Try to not talk about French kissing when in a large group of strangers. It’s really OK to buy a woman a vacuum cleaner. What if you bought her one of those expensive Dyson ones? You telling me that’s rude? A note to all of you: You can buy me an expensive vacuum cleaner if you want. Deadlines don’t really matter. Punctuality is overrated. What time is it? I used to like “Loose lips sink ships,” but I think that may be out there already. So can we bring back “Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades”? Saying “These colors don’t run” is only fun and/or acceptable when you use it out of context. America is not, in fact, the greatest country in the world. That would be French Polynesia. Watch how many eggs you eat. If you don’t think man walked on the moon, get out of my face. If our plane crashed in the Andes, would you eat me? I would totally eat you. Don’t let print die. Buy seven papers a day. Johnny Gazpacho is a pen name of Folio Weekly contributor Danny Kelly. He accepts hate mail at themail@folioweekly.com

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly. com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly. NOVEMBER 22-28, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 47


CRIMINAL RECORD SEALING, CRIMINAL DEFENSE, DUIS, DIVORCE & CAR ACCIDENTS Call The Law Offices of Micolle D. Rosenberry, P.A. for a FREE phone consultation and find out your rights! 805-8881 or visit www.micolleroselaw.com.

ST. ANTHONY’S NATIONAL CATHOLIC CHURCH A Parish of the National Catholic Church of North America WEDDINGS – BAPTISMS - FUNERALS Chapel at St. Luke’s, 1140 S. McDuff at Remington Sunday Mass at 10:30 am * 904-403-8328 / 904-573-9309 sanccmmb@aol.com www.nationalcatholicchurch.org

NASHVILLE VOCAL COACH

Contemporary styles of singing, Violin/Fiddle instruction & artist development. Over 35 yrs of music industry experience. Call 727-7057 or logon to www.thenashvillevocalcoach.com

*DIVORCE $75-125 * BANKRUPTCY $100-150*

18 Years Experience - CALL ERIC 424-6066


Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.