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ne morning in December 2006, Knapper awoke to see red streaks running along her arms and toward her breast. She went to the emergency room and was prescribed an antibiotic. The infection didn’t go away so she went in for a mammogram, which led to a biopsy. She was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer at 40 years old. Knapper said the statistics for recovery from inflammatory breast cancer are low, and she remembered praying that she would make it through Christmas. Then she went for an even bigger wish: to see her kids graduate from high school. “I’m fortunate my (second) son just graduated,” Knapper said. “Those were two things that were really on my wish list, and I’ve accomplished them.” The treatment for inflammatory breast cancer is more intense than for other types of breast cancer. Knapper went through chemotherapy and then had a double mastectomy and removal of all the lymph nodes in her arm. At her follow-up appointment, Knapper found out that all of her lymph nodes had been full of cancer as well, which meant that the treatment didn’t work the way it should have. Her doctor told her she didn’t really know what direction to go from there, so Knapper reached out to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas. She lived in Houston for three months while undergoing chemotherapy and radiation. Knapper knew that cancer would change her forever. “One of the most difficult things is the change you are going through,” she said. “It’s a permanent change; you’re never going to be the same, so you have to get used to that new normal.” For Knapper, the new normal meant helping other women who were dealing with the same things that she had gone through with breast cancer. “I’m not happy that I got breast cancer, but breast cancer changed me as a person for the better,” she said. “I guess there is a reason things happen.” Knapper’s experience of going through cancer treatment led her to form a place where other women with breast cancer could share what they were going through and support one another. Knapper recalls feeling alone while she was undergoing treatment. “My support system was awesome — I had great family
and friends — but it just bothered me that there’s some people out there who didn’t have that support,” she said. One of Knapper’s classmates, Lisa Verworn, was diagnosed with breast cancer six months after Knapper and they became each other’s support. Verworn and Knapper agreed that there was a greater need of support for women dealing with breast cancer and that’s when the idea of FM Breast Friends was formed. “We decided that when we were both healthy, we would start a support group,” Knapper said. Together, they formed FM Breast Friends in 2008. The group meets in the basement of the Moorhead Library once a month.
“And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure in fact whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in.” “It’s a safe haven for women,” Knapper said, describing the atmosphere of the group. On average, 25 women attend each meeting and one new member attends each month. “For me it was really important just to meet another survivor,” Knapper said, and now she is the image of a longterm survivor for others. “I know we’ve had many people come to the meetings and say it’s just so inspirational to see another survivor.” Integral to the support group are the friendships that are formed between the women. “Good or bad, we’re there,” Knapper said. “We’re not going anywhere.” Knapper also organizes fun events for the
group to have a chance to lighten up and get their minds off of cancer. “It’s important that it’s not all just about cancer,” she said. “It’s being able to live with cancer and being able to have fun and laugh.” The support group offers Hope Totes to newly diagnosed women. They also offer travel scholarships to women who want to attend the young survivors’ conference and they help women in the FM area who struggle with the costs of medicine. The group puts on a fundraiser every year on the third weekend in January called Support the Girls, with a silent auction, a merchandise store they call the Booby Boutique, and music by the Front Fenders. Through her own experience with cancer and from hearing the stories of many other women, Knapper has accrued helpful advice for those who are newly diagnosed with cancer. “Keep a positive attitude and instill laughter in every day,” she said. “Cancer can take many things away from you, but it can’t take away your smile.” She found that people want to help, so even though opening your heart to others is hard, you should let them help you. “(It’s a matter of) putting your pride down and saying yeah, I do need help, and you just figure that someday I’ll pay it forward,” she said. She also learned that the process of finding a support system may surprise you, as the friends you think will be there for you might not and the ones you don’t expect are often the ones that step up to support you. “Don’t take rejection personally,” she said. “People tend to shy away because they don’t know what to do, and that’s ok. … When you come to those days that you are at your lowest, rely on your faith and let God handle your worries.” Knapper views the time she dedicates to FM Breast Friends as her pay-it-forward. “I call it leaving my legacy,” she said as tears pooled in her eyes. “I’ve always wanted to make a difference, so I think with my diagnosis and the statistics being not in my favor, I think for me to be able do this … it’s a part of my legacy. … If what I went through could help other women, it would be worth it. And to have women come up to me and say, ‘I don’t know what I would have done without the group,’ it just makes it worthwhile.”
Stride • October 2013
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