Tapestry spring 2018

ta p e s t r y Weaving Stories of Faith, Hope and Life

Song. Longing. Relationship. Meditation. Joy. Intimacy. Response. Trust. Change.

Silence. Questions. Hope.

Exhaustion. Need. Song. Longing. Joy. Relationship. Meditation.

PRAYER

Joy. Intimacy. Change. Response. Love. Need.

Published quarterly by First Presbyterian Church, Charlotte NC Spring 2018

Spring 2018

ta p e s t r y

what’s inside Our Pastors on Prayer How they pray, what they’ve learned Page 4

Journaling Gail Henderson-Belsito on writing as a spiritual practice Page 20

A Multiplication of Love Meet the people who pray for you Page 12

Sing Halleluiah!

Will Young and the choir talk about music as prayer Page 26 New Members Photos and a brief introduction Page 30 People in the Pews Members answer the question: What are you praying about today?

Page 31 Centering Prayer Burt Melton on encountering Christ through prayer Page 16

ta p e s t r y a publication of First Presbyterian Church 200 West Trade St. Charlotte, NC 28202 www.firstpres-charlotte.org

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editor Peg Robarchek designer Dartinia Hull publications assistant Savannah Jillani Photographers Rob Grier Eleanor Hatcher Savannah Jillani

Favorite Books on Prayer Want to deepen your own prayer experience? Here are favorite books on prayer from the clergy and staff here at First Presbyterian to get you started.

Recommended by Katelyn Gordon Cooke, Associate Pastor for Christian Formation: To Bless the Space Between Us by John O'Donohue Circle of Grace by Jan Richardson

Recommended by Heather Herring, Child & Family Partnership Coordinator: Before Amen by Max Lucado

Recommended by Mary Scott Peterson, Ministry Team Coordinator: The 12 Step Prayer Book by Bill P. and Lisa D.

Recommended by Erika Funk, Associate Pastor for Mission: When God is Silent

by Barbara Brown Taylor The Cup of Our Life

by Joyce Rupp Recommended by Katherine Kerr, Senior Associate Pastor for Congregational Ministry and Care: Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne Lamott

Recommended by Peg Robarchek, Director of Communications: The Only Necessary Thing: Living a Prayerful Life by Henri J.M. Nouwen

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Our Pastors’ Prayer Lives You won’t be surprised to learn that our pastors have powerful and profound wisdom to share about the role of prayer in their lives. What may surprise you is how similar their experiences are to the challenges, the questions and the struggles we all have.

YER

On the following pages, you’ll find excerpts from conversations with Pen Peery, Katherine Kerr, Erika Funk, Katelyn Gordon Cooke and Chuck Williamson. They share insights into their own prayer practices, their early memories of prayer, the evolution of their prayer lives, the need for silence and stillness, learning from Evangelical Christians and more.

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Pen dependence

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centering

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au t h e n t i c i t y

Observations from

Peery The subtext to our formality in worship is that you must have this structured language, this way of praying, and you can’t do that on your own.

You have to come here to church do it. I wish people could get over that.

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“

Prayer reminds me that I’m not in control—my big bugaboo. I think it’s my job to fix things. Prayer makes me aware of my dependence on God, which allows me to be the creature and not the Creator.

T

he more I have encountered Evangelical Christians, they have taught me what it is to claim the common vernacular for prayer. Prayer using seminary language can become impersonal, so I have learned through evangelical friends and connections how to claim prayer as personal.

O

ne of my ways to practice prayer is when I run. It is more meditative. I don’t listen to music or podcasts. It’s time alone with my Maker. When I do it I’m so centered

and when I don’t do it for a stretch of four or five days, I’m a mess.

My earliest memories of prayer were my paternal grandparents. I associated their authentic, gracious faith with the spiritual discipline I saw them have in prayer. At home I remember Advent devotionals, Lenten devotionals and prayer before the meal. It very much felt like we were setting aside holy time, sacred time. I began to understand prayer isn’t just about what God is going to do for me.

“

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mystery

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reflection

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desire

Erika Observations from

Funk

“ S Read Job, the way Job talks to God. People would say, ‘Oh you’re definitely not supposed to do that.’ He yelled at God, was angry with God, asked questions you’re not supposed to ask. And God listened, and at the end, God answered. If you can pray like that, there can’t be a wrong way to pray.

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ometimes people tell me they don’t pray and I always ask, ‘Do you mean you don’t pray? Or do you mean you don’t have a set-aside time where you’re doing nothing else but praying?’ Maybe you pick up a book and read a prayer. Do you have a moment when you say, ‘Lord, help me?’ I count that as prayer. Gaze on your sleeping child, reflect on their love and safety— how is that not saying a prayer?

My parents didn’t go to church, were not religious people. But I have this very early memory. I wanted to write a letter to God and put it in a balloon and float it up to the sky. I don’t remember what I put in the balloon, whether it was, ‘God, I think you’re really awesome’ or ‘I want a puppy.’ I remember having to ask an adult how to spell God. Somehow I got this notion I could communicate with God. Where does a child get that notion when they’re not raised in a religious household? To me it’s evidence of one line of thinking, which is that God implants in us a desire to be connected to God, and part of our life journey is choosing to respond to that.

“

I

’m not sure that we change the heart of God through our prayers.

If I pray for a friend who has cancer, would they die if I don’t pray for them? What I do know about prayer is that it does change us. The way we open ourselves a little bit when we pray, God works through that crack. I’ve had times when I prayed and never heard God’s voice. Times when I prayed and did hear God’s voice. Times I felt I was praying and there was no purpose to it.

Times when I have been real regular and structured about it. Prayer is still largely a mystery. But the older I get, the more comfortable I am with mystery, so I just keep doing it. I don’t know how my iPhone works, but I still use it.

The power of praying in community is that it helps you connect to community.

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togetherness

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h o ly s p i r i t n u d g e

Katherine Observations from

Kerr

W “ There are times for all of us when it

is just too hard to

pray because we’re

exhausted or terrified or devastated.

Because we don’t know 100% that

God is even there.

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hat we’re doing for Caroline right now is holding onto the importance of prayer…holding that space for her before meals and before bed. I am not a stickler with her and what she says.

Some nights it’s, ‘Thank you, Jesus. Amen.’ Sometimes it’s one of the blessings she says at school, which has been a beautiful prayer: ‘Thank you, God, for happy hearts and rain and sunny weather. Thank you, God, for everything and that we are together.’ I want her to understand that it is important that we pray and that we can pray using any words at any time.

When I pray with people, I try not to overthink it because I do believe prayer ought to be genuine communication with God. So while I work to craft my prayers for Sunday worship, in all other times I try to allow the words to come whether in my heart or speaking out loud. There are times when my prayers are one or two words or an image of a person in my mind that I know needs prayer. As a person’s face or name pops into my head, I see that as the Holy Spirit nudging me and I pray for them.

Prayer is not a magical wish list and if I do it right I’m going to have some kind of powerful force field around me. I don’t think I’d want to live in a world in which I could manipulate God by my prayers. Faith is not about protecting us from hurt but about trusting that God is with us in the hurt.

“

S

P

rayer is an outgrowth of our relationship with God. There’s no formula for how we pray to God. This idea that you have to sit still and close your eyes and say the right words—your eyes can be open when you pray.

You might be distracted, but you might be distracted by something that needs prayer.

Sometimes in worship I look out during prayer because I want to see the people I’m praying for and with. This idea that there’s one way to pray, sitting with head bowed, hands clasped, eyes closed—it’s a beautiful way to pray, but it isn’t the only way to pray.

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stillness

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i n t i m ac y

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rest

Katelyn Observations from

Cooke

I

do think prayer requires silence and we don’t get a lot of silence in our lives. There’s a need for us to be intentional, to set aside time and space. Prayer is a lot more listening than us talking. I have that backwards as much as anybody else does. It’s something we have shortchanged, cultivating a practice of listening to what God has to say to us and creating room for that. Silence is important, and the partner of that is stillness. We hunger for stillness and silence and don’t even know we’re hungry for it. But when we do have little pockets of stillness and silence, we’re so unaccustomed to it that we often don’t know what to do with it. Instead of giving time for discomfort to subside, we get up and walk away.

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W

e talk about God being both very close and also being very far away. I think sometimes that balance of intimacy and greatness is hard to navigate.

Why would God care about this job opportunity or my cousin who is sick in light of everything else going on in the world? If we get into comparing the size and worthiness of our prayers, we can decide God probably has better

things to do. When I pray, I use an image of resting in God’s palm. I sometimes

“

fall asleep praying with that image. I think that’s a level of trust and comfort, and that image has been helpful. This is a place for me to come and rest and be cared for by God. I think prayers are one of the best indications of what you believe about God and what you believe God cares about.

It’s a very American stance that we believe we’re always initiating. But Scripture tells us that God is always the initiator and we’re on the receiving end. So our calling is to be ready to receive. We’re not the one who gets to call the shots. That’s a new role that we’re learning how to live into. It can be liberating and terrifying.

I have a memory of Christmas when I was four or five. We had opened all the presents, and I think it was Christmas night, another present appeared under the tree. It was for me, and it was a doll, a little girl with her hands folded and eyes closed, and she was praying. You could take her hands apart and put them back together. My parents picking that out for me taught me early on faith and prayer were important parts of life.

I think God answers prayers, but if we are expecting a particular answer and if we don’t see that answer, do we think we have received an answer at all? How attuned are we to the small ways in which the Spirit moves? That is a challenge in a world as fast-paced as ours is. If we think of our prayers mostly as demands, that theology can become unhealthy. Plenty of people in scripture pray and don’t get exactly what they want.

But God is attentive to them all along. God is working out the future. God is faithful.

P

rayer helps me see God outside of the sanctuary and reminds me that the life God calls me to live is not confined to those four walls or even to the church campus. God is present in all of the world, the streets and corners and all the places where we live and move and have our being. God’s interest isn’t just about what happens in the church.

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r e l at i o n s h i p

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trust

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g r ac e

Chuck Observations from

Williamson

I

’m offended by the idea that our prayers stimulate God, kick God into action. The idea that until I have prayed for John, God might sit up there in heaven and say, ‘I’d like to do something for John, but nobody has prayed for him yet.’ I think that’s a silly picture of God. I don’t think that in any way does prayer cause God to be more or less grace-filled or more or less responsive to human need. So what is the purpose? I think the purpose is the same thing as sitting down and talking to others. When you know and love somebody and are in a friendship, a relationship with someone, you talk to them about stuff and that’s what I think prayer is. Talking to God about the stuff that’s on my mind. I don’t think in any way it changes what God is going to do, doesn’t make God more or less loving. The prayer reminds me I am not alone in the world.

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“

When you’re in a relationship with somebody and it’s a loving, trusting relationship you say whatever is on your mind even if it seems inappropriate. I don’t think God is waiting for 10,000 people to start praying about whether they want gun violence and until then God sits there and does nothing. But I do think it’s okay for me to say to God, ‘I don’t like this and I believe you have the power to do something about it and it makes me mad that you aren’t.’ I don’t think that makes God love me any less.

y prayer life evolved as my faith evolved from a childlike—childish is more accurate—idea that God is some kind of gumball machine.

Put in a penny and get your gumball. My prayer life changed as I began to have more of a desire to be in a relationship with God.

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member profile

CENTERING PRAYER

How Meditation Opened the Door to an Encounter with Christ

B

urt Melton’s career in banking was off to a good start in 1971. Young, energetic and

ambitious, he was on the lookout for ways to achieve more.

About that time, he read an article in The Wall Street Journal about a way to boost

his productivity—transcendental meditation.

“The benefits it talked about were things like being more creative, having less stress in your life, needing less sleep—performance kinds of things,” said Burt. “And I was very much into performance so I signed up for a TM class. I guess I’m both disciplined and maybe kind of compulsive—or maybe really compulsive—but I started practicing TM twice a day. I did that every day basically.”

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... continued from previous page

“I was meditating as usual and Christ just took over the meditation.

That’s when it all came together for me.”

When he started meditation, which was not a mainstream practice in 1971, Burt was not only active in church, he was a leader in his church. But he saw no conflict in a practice that was billed as a stress releaser and a performance booster.

After learning TM, Burt started a form of meditation based on following the breath and focusing on the heart. He continued his daily regimen of meditation for several years.

“So here I was at church often—growing up it was every time the doors opened but maybe not that often in my adult life— and I was also doing meditation twice a day,” Burt said. “The truth was, what was feeding me more than anything in my life was the meditation, the time in the silence.”

Then one day during meditation, something completely unexpected happened.

“I was meditating as usual and Christ just took over the meditation.” Burt teared up as he recalled the day that changed his life completely. “That’s when it all came together for me.”

Burt grew up in the small community of Caroleen, North Carolina, a textile community in Rutherford County. His father was a respected member of the community and a man of deep faith who was also a leader in the church. A young Burt heard some of his favorite pastors talk about attending Wake Forest University.

Following in their footsteps became Burt’s dream.

“I think the only two schools I applied to were Wake Forest and the University of North Carolina,” he said. “I was nominated for a Morehead Scholarship, and Chapel Hill offered me a scholarship to go there.

Wake Forest was more expensive, but it never was a real decision in my mind. I was going to Wake Forest.”

Phyllis and Burt Melton were married in 1962. “We had $50 to our name and an old car my parents bought for us,” Burt said. “I worked part-time and Phyllis worked full-time and we somehow got through college.”

When he headed off to Wake Forest, he left his heart behind in Caroleen with a pretty high school junior named Phyllis, whom he had met two years earlier.

“We were attending the organizational meeting for glee club the first time I saw Phyllis,” he said. “She was wearing a turquoise dress—she made the dress, no doubt. And I just knew she was the one.”

Over her parents’ objections, Burt asked her for a date. They dated throughout his last two years of high school and continued to date while he was at Wake Forest. They were married in 1962.

“We had $50 to our name and an old car my parents bought for us,” Burt said.

“One of those former Baptist ministers who inspired me to attend Wake Forest got me a job at Wake Forest University Baptist Hospital. I worked part-time and Phyllis worked full-time and we somehow got through college.”

Soon after, Burt went to work at First Union National Bank, where he worked until he retired. Burt and Phyllis moved to Charlotte in 1987. They joined First Presbyterian, where he was soon called to serve as an elder. He was still meditating.

And it was still very much an uncommon thing.

“I have always felt kind of different and weird. But now I felt so alone and

so puzzled. I knew nothing about the contemplative tradition in the church until the 1990s,” Burt said. “I didn’t know anybody whose primary path to God was to sit in God’s presence twice a day.”

I

n the 1990s, Burt picked up a magazine that included an interview with a Trappist monk and priest, Father Thomas Keating. Father Keating spoke about the Christian contemplative tradition and Centering Prayer, a contemporary method of contemplative prayer that had emerged from Father Keating’s work at St. Joseph's Abbey in Massachusetts. Excited to hear about a form of contemplation centered in Christianity, Burt attended a workshop to learn about Centering Prayer, which incorporates reading scripture and sitting for a period of silence. It can be practiced individually or with a group.

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“If you spend time in the silence,

Christ will come.”

... continued from previous page “Learning about Centering Prayer and about the Christian contemplative tradition started me on a path that led me deeper and deeper into silence, into a relationship with God that is so intimate and so close and so real,” Burt said. “Being in God’s presence is more real for me than anything in this room.”

Phyllis and Burt have three sons, four granddaughters and three grandsons. One of Burt’s most profound experiences, aside from the relationship with God that has grown out of his time in contemplative prayer, was the birth of his first grandchild, Morgan.

“It’s almost like God said, ‘I’m going to create Morgan and she’s going to come and take Burt’s hand and teach him things that I want him to know. He’ll learn more about me through this child.’”

Burt retired in 1997, at the age of 55. He became active in Charlotte’s Centering Prayer community, teaching workshops to introduce the practice to others. Almost three dozen groups meet throughout the area on a weekly basis today, including a group that meets at 6 p.m. Mondays at First Presbyterian Church. Burt continued to attend a 10-day Centering Prayer retreat at least once a year until Phyllis developed health issues a few years ago. He still attends Centering Prayer at First Presbyterian but stepped away from leading the group in 2017.

“If you spend time in the silence, Christ will come,” Burt said.

“For me that’s the miracle of it. He comes in many ways but the way I can testify to most constantly and most personally is that by spending time in the silence, I came to experience Christ in new and in healing kinds of ways.”

B

urt is clear that Centering Prayer does not replace other forms of prayer.

What he does say is that, in his own experience, it has changed his other forms of prayer dramatically.

“Ultimately Centering Prayer has moved me to a place where it’s hard for me to ask for anything,” Burt said.

One of Burt’s most profound experiences was the birth of his first grandchild, Morgan. “It’s almost like God said, ‘I’m going to create Morgan and she’s going to come and take Burt’s hand and teach him things that I want him to know. He’ll learn more about me through this child.’ ”

“For me, prayer has become more and more ‘Thy will be done.’ And gratitude. Just saying thank you.”

Contemplative practice, Burt said, has taken his time with God out of his head and into his heart.

“It creates room for the Holy to pray in me,” Burt said. “That is the surest way I know to move into a deepening relationship with Christ. What we hear in the gospels is that Christ emptied himself, taking the form of a servant. Contemplative prayer has been a very good way to begin that emptying process and to move deeper and deeper into it.”

CHURCH PRESBYTERIAN FIRST FO R C HRI S T I N T HE HE A RT O F C HA RLOT T E

Want to Know More?

Attending a Centering Prayer workshop is a good first step if you’re interested in knowing more. Another good step is to connect with the facilitators of the weekly Centering Prayer group here at First Presbyterian, including Gibbs Ives or Doug Wilson. They can share with you information about groups that meet in various locations at different times and days.

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around the church

Concentration. Meditation. Contemplation.

Visit Our Prayer Room Where do you go when you want to spend time with God? Maybe you have a space at home where you gather your Bible, devotional books, journals or any other tools you use for prayer.

Maybe you walk a labyrinth. Maybe you have a backyard oasis or a bench overlooking a creek or pond.

Or maybe having a hard time finding that peaceful spot is one of the things that holds you back from regularly spending time with God. If so, your Formation team has prepared a space for you in a quiet corner of the church.

P201 is a small room just beyond the Fresco Lobby. It has sofas and chairs, bibles and other books, printed prayers and other materials to help quiet your mind. And it is almost always a place where you can be alone. One exception is on Monday nights, when a small group gathers for Centering Prayer at 6 p.m.

“Tammy (Winchip) and I cooked this up before Advent last year,” said Director of Adult Formation Garrell Keesler. “The idea is that we can expand this over time, incorporate even more materials people can use and enhance the atmosphere so that it’s more conducive to contemplation—a space where people can pause to create a Sabbath mindset throughout the week.

“We hope it can become a place where people can practice their faith, maybe even have conversations about prayer—how to pray, why pray.”

When you enter the Prayer Room, you’ll find a pamphlet to welcome you and orient you. It suggests specific prayer activities, including breath prayer, praying in color, reflective prayer, and placing prayers on post-it notes on a prayer wall. In one drawer, you’ll find a cozy prayer shawl and on one shelf behind glass doors you’ll find a much-used copy of the Book of Common Prayer.

Garrell said having such a space in the church is also a response to the anxiety people increasingly feel in these unsettled times. “It’s a great place to come on Sunday mornings or through the week when the church offices are open—8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.—to come and just be quiet or create conditions to help us get quiet enough to hear the still, small voice.”

C HURC H P RE S BYTE RIAN FIRS T FOR CHRI ST I N T HE HE ART OF CHARLOT T E

Another Option If you’re at the church during the week, another option for a quiet space is the Fresco Lobby, where you can contemplate the Ben Long fresco depicting the story of the Good Samaritan. spring 2018 • tapestry • 19

member profile

JOURNALING Writing to God as a spiritual practice When Gail Henderson-Belsito took a writing class a few years ago, the instructor started the class by saying, “I want you to think about not writing.

What would your life be like if you didn’t write?”

Gail’s response was to pull out her journal to write about what her life would be like without writing.

Gail, who joined First Presbyterian Church in 2014, began journaling as a student at Williams College in Massachusetts. She was taking a course For Gail, journaling has been life-changing, life-saving. Her myriad journals, full of writings and art, line the walls of her home office.

in African American literature and one of the class requirements was to keep a journal of their responses to what they were reading. Gail received positive feedback and encouragement from the professor. When the course came to an end, Gail kept journaling. continues on next page ....

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... continued from previous page For decades, journaling has been part of Gail’s daily life. She has written about her thoughts, her emotions, her travels, her everyday experiences and her extraordinary experiences.

In those early years of marriage and motherhood and setting up house in Norwalk, Connecticut, she also began a deeper exploration of her faith. She began to read books about spiritual disciplines. One of those spiritual disciplines was journaling.

“It has been life-changing, life-saving.”

And it helped give voice to the young girl she had been, the girl who grew up in a faith tradition where women were expected to keep silent in the church.

G Early in Gail Henderson-Belsito’s Charlotte life, she attended a large church that, like the churches she had grown up in, did not believe in ordaining women as clergy, elders or deacons. But she could teach women and young children. One of the classes she taught at that church was a class on journaling as a spiritual practice.

“Even at that church, where women didn’t have much of a voice, I felt that journaling was a tool women could use to strengthen themselves.”

ail grew up in Brooklyn, New York. She was raised in a denomination that did not ordain women but allowed them to fill positions of leadership only over children and other women.

Even though she had female family members who were in ministry in other denominations, Gail held firmly to a belief in biblical passages that limit the role of women in the church.

At Williams College, Gail met Steve Belsito. Upon graduation, Gail worked at the college and Steve worked for General Electric. Four years after finishing school, they married. Gail home-schooled children Kristiana and Daniel. When Steve was laid off in 2002, he was offered a position at Bank of America in Charlotte.

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... continued from previous page be like,” Gail said. “But we found it more accepting of who we are than in Connecticut, which really surprised us. Charlotte is a city where people have come from other places, brought other experiences and cultures and that helps. We love Charlotte, loved raising our kids here.”

The family attended a large church that, like the churches Gail had grown up in, did not believe in ordaining women as clergy, elders or deacons. But she could teach women and young children. One of the classes she taught at that church was a class on journaling as a spiritual practice.

“Even at that church, where women didn’t have much of a voice, I felt that journaling was a tool women could use to strengthen themselves,” Gail said.

The class was popular both times Gail taught it. Originally scheduled for six to eight weeks, both times the class was extended to 14 weeks because the women in attendance just kept coming to talk about their journaling.

“One night after class, a woman who was not a member but who had signed up for the class, came up to me and said, ‘You belong in the pulpit,’” Gail recalled. “I thought it was straight up heresy. Even though I knew women in my family were ministers, this idea was so ingrained in me.”

I

That was the first time someone mentioned the ministry to Gail. It would not be the last time.

n 2006, Steve was working in center city when he decided to attend Wednesday Worship at First Presbyterian Church.

Walking back to his office from the church, Steve called Gail to tell her about the service. “You should try it. You’ll really like it.”

He was right. By 2010, they were attending First Presbyterian regularly and decided to join four years later. From the beginning, they were encouraged to bring their gifts and get involved in the church. It wasn’t long before Gail was invited to teach a Sunday morning Adult Formation class.

“I remember teaching the Passages class, thinking the whole time that somebody was going to stand up any minute and say, ‘This is not cool,’” Gail said. “It took a while to get those voices out of my head. When I became friends with (former associate pastor) Katie Crowe, the first question I asked her was how she dealt with scripture that says women should be silent in church. She said that when she met God at the end of her life, she would rather answer a question about why she spoke up when she should have been silent rather than have God ask why she stayed silent when God called her to speak up.”

Gail also worked with her spiritual director as she struggled to let go of the old beliefs that had been instilled in her. continues on next page ....

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It has become this sort of dialogue, sharing my thoughts with God in written form.

I feel like my journal is a place where I’m talking to God.

I love that I can go back and look at them.” ... continued from previous page After being at First Presbyterian for several years and teaching other classes—including a one-time class in journaling as a spiritual practice—Gail was asked by two other people if she had ever considered going into the ministry.

“It was not something I thought of myself,” she said.

Before receiving the call to serve another church, Katie Crowe added her voice to those encouraging Gail toward the ministry.

She suggested that Gail check out Union Presbyterian Seminary in Charlotte and talk to Dr. Richard Boyce, the Academic Dean at Union. Gail never did. Then, in early 2015, Gail was taking part in officers’ training to become an elder at FPC when Dr. Boyce came to teach the new officers about polity. Gail remembers thinking, All right, Lord. I didn’t go to seminary so you brought seminary here.

M

Gail was accepted into Union Seminary later that year. She has about two years to complete the program and see what God calls her to do next.

any people journal, but not everyone sees it as a spiritual practice.

“Today, I feel like my journal is a place where I’m talking to God,” she said, pointing out that there are places in scripture where God tells people to write down what has been said, to leave it as a record for future generations. “It has become this sort of dialogue, sharing my thoughts with God in written form. I love that I can go back and look at them.”

She acknowledges that daily journaling isn’t for everybody. People who want to give it a try should start slowly and try not to listen to the voice in their heads saying they aren’t good enough to keep a journal.

“Journaling, to me, is a gift you give yourself,” she said. “You can watch yourself grow, processing things. It has made me so much

more attentive to my life and to relationships because journaling gives me time to go back and look at things again. It has changed my ability to listen and made me more patient, more forgiving.

It has given me the opportunity to speak my mind. I have heard the phrase ‘turning the gem of my life’ and looking at the different facets. My spiritual director tells me to go back and take God with me. Look for where God was with me when I was there.

“Journaling was not something I initiated. It was brought along at the right time to be a gift—and that gift has kept on giving for 30 years now.”

CHURCH PRESBYTERIAN FIRST FO R C HRI S T I N T HE HE A RT O F C HA RLOT T E

Would You Like to Journal?

Gail recommends these books and prompts (among others) as a way to get started. For more about Gail’s journaling life, visit her blog at silvermine.blogspot.com Books on writing and journaling as a spiritual discipline * Pen on Fire by Barbara Demario-Barrett * Escaping into the Open by Elizabeth Berg * Journaling as a Spiritual Practice by Helen Cepero * Old Friend from Far Away by Natalie Goldberg * Spinning Words into Gold: A Hands-on Guide to the Craft of Writing by Maureen Ryan Griffin * How to Keep a Spiritual Journal by Ron Klug * Legacy: A step-by-step guide to writing personal history

by Linda Spence Journaling topics and prompts: * Make a list of at least five things you are grateful for every day. * List 5 people or situations that you know need a touch from God. Provide as many details as you want. * What is the deepest longing of your heart right now?

When did it start? How? * What are you searching for? Have you ever come close to finding it? * How would it feel, how would your life change if you actually found what you’re looking for? spring 2018 • tapestry • 23

PRAYER WARRIORS FPC’s Prayer Ministry Team

A Multiplication of Love

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rayer, in Doug Wilson’s mind, is pretty straightforward.

“Prayer is a multiplication of love,” said Doug, founding chairperson for First Presbyterian’s Prayer Ministry Team. “You cannot pray for somebody for an extended period of time and not love them. And if they know you’re praying for them, the love is returned.”

Doug and more than 30 other members are working every day to multiply that love here at First Presbyterian.

The Reverend Katherine Kerr, Doug and others began to talk a few years ago about ways to revitalize the church’s longstanding prayer chain. “We wanted to encourage fervent, persistent prayer, every day. But it seemed we were spending more time taking names on and off the list than we spent praying,” Doug said.

The prayer list was set up electronically so it could be easily and quickly updated and sent out by email. Today, four teams commit to pray once a day, every day, on a schedule and in a space that works for them. The groups pray for long-term situations such as illness, deaths and financial struggles, as well as expressing gratitude for births, marriages, healings and new jobs. In addition to daily prayer throughout the week, members of the prayer teams gather in the Chapel or in the Sanctuary overflow area following worship on Sundays to pray one-on-one with anyone who requests it.

“It’s been extraordinary to watch this ministry take off,” said Katherine. “I’m inspired on a regular basis by the church members who are involved in this, whose commitment to prayer is exemplary.”

Katy Cochran, who is this year’s chairperson for the Prayer Ministry Team, agrees with Katherine. “There are some mighty prayer warriors on this team.” continues on next page ....

24 • tapestry • spring 2018

In the prayer-team ministry, four teams commit to pray once a day, every day, on a schedule and in a space that works for them. In addition to daily prayer throughout the week, members of the prayer teams gather in the Chapel or in the Sanctuary overflow area following worship on Sundays to pray one-on-one with anyone who requests it.

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... continued from previous page

eing part of a community of prayer can be transforming, say members of the Prayer Ministry Team, both for the people who receive prayers and for those who pray.

“It has really humbled me to experience the deep commitment to prayer of other people like Doug Wilson and Betty Bradley,” said Kay Valaoras. “That has encouraged me in my own prayer life, held me accountable to keep a robust prayer life. It also humbles me when people tell me how much they feel our prayers.”

Milt Childress recalls the power of having others praying for him when he was in a health crisis more than seven years ago. That experience made it easy for him to say yes when he was invited to join the Prayer Ministry Team as a team leader.

“My wife, Carol, and I felt the power of prayer in a personal way,” said Milt. “During that experience I had a very vivid indicator of the presence of God through other people. It was powerful and sustaining. I wish I could live in that state more regularly.”

Since then, Milt has done a lot of reading and reflection on how important the relational aspect of connection is to our health and well-being. He believes the power of connection can be accessed through prayer.

That connection can be felt when praying together in a group, so Katy hopes to incorporate more time praying together into the work of the prayer teams in 2018.

“When we pray together in the same room it creates unity in our group,” she said. “When we are praying about the direction of the ministry or whatever, the Lord speaks to each one of us in a different way and you get a fuller picture.”

Pender McElroy, another Prayer Ministry Team leader, said this ministry has made him aware of how many people within the church are experiencing life crises of every kind imaginable.

“I grew up in a family where we prayed and I’ve always prayed for my family and loved ones and people I knew who were having troubles,” Pender said. “But taking on this responsibility calls me to be more intentional about how often I do that and reminds me of the breadth of the people I’m praying for.”

Others on the Prayer Ministry Team echo that.

“At a community like first Presbyterian everybody looks good on the outside, starched and pressed,” said Kay. “There’s a lot of joy, but also sorrow that people don’t just walk in wearing on their lapels. Being part of this ministry has deepened my sense of community with fellow church members.”

Doug said, “I’m meeting new people at a deep level and that is what the church is supposed to be.”

Pender added that his greater intentionality has strengthened another connection—his connection to God. Doug agrees that more prayer goes hand-in-hand with a deeper connection to God. “If we abide in Christ, we will pray. And if we pray, we will abide in Christ. More prayer, more abiding. More abiding, more prayer.

It feeds on itself. Those of us who are praying are receiving not just the blessing of the answered prayer but the blessing of abiding with Christ.”

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veryone hopes the church’s Prayer Ministry will grow, especially if people realize its positive impact.

Katy said her prayer life has grown to the point that she now prays every day, although that wasn’t always the case. “It doesn’t have to be just me sitting in a quiet place. If I feel the need to pray other places, I do. It’s just a time to be with the Lord and to hear from him. Prayer is something we can all practice and get better at.”

And Kay admits that she doesn’t pray as well or as consistently as she wants to. “I don’t have this great formula for a perfect prayer life, but I do have a heart for people’s needs, the joys and pains they’re going through.”

More prayer teams can be added if the ministry grows. And Katherine hopes more people will be encouraged to share their prayer requests with this committed group. “The more people praying, the more prayer teams, the better. I have no doubt about that.”

Doug likes to imagine what could happen if only one person in every church around the world participated in a prayer ministry.

“The Bible says a rope with two strands is harder to break than a rope with one strand, and a rope with three strands is harder yet.

With four teams and the Holy Spirit praying together, that rope will lift a heavy load.”

CHURCH PRESBYTERIAN FIRST FO R C HRI S T I N T HE HE A RT O F C HA RLOT T E

Want to Be Involved?

If you want to know more about the Prayer Ministry Team, you can contact team leaders Elise Barksdale, Milt Childress, Pender McElroy or Kay Valaoras, as well as long-time chair Doug Wilson and current chair Katy Cochran. To make a prayer request, contact the Reverend Katherine Kerr (kkerr@firstpres-charlotte.org).

spring 2018 • tapestry • 25

The Transcendence of Music He who sings prays twice. - St. Augustine

Photos by Eleanor Hatcher

“During rehearsal, we reach a point where it’s as good as we can make it without the help of the Holy Spirit,” says Director of Music Will Young. “So when I say, during rehearsal, ‘Let’s save the rest for church,’ the choir members know what that means. It means I think we’ve gotten to the point where we can leave it for the Holy Spirit.”

When the Holy Spirit Joins the Choir 26 • tapestry • spring 2018

How often do we pray during a worship service?

Counting the times of prayer in the Sunday bulletin could give you a number, typically five to seven times, depending on whether someone is being baptized or communion is being served. If you ask the members of the choir that question, however, they may come up with a larger number.

“Every time we sing it can be prayer,” said Will Young, Director of Music Ministries. “I have had many experiences of praying by doing music—and it becomes a full-body involvement in prayer.”

Spoken prayer, Will said, may use only one side of the brain. continues on next page ....

We asked several of the FPC Sanctuary Choir members about music, worship, and the language of faith. Here’s what they said:

... continued from previous page “When you are using music, the words may be engaging the left side of the brain, but the harmony and the melody of the music are engaging the right side of the brain.”

That creates a level of transcendence that doesn’t occur because of mere human effort, Will believes. Transcendence occurs when the Holy Spirit has joined the choir.

“Choir members can reach a level of focus during the service that they can’t reach of their own accord. It’s just there,” said Will, who joined the staff at First Presbyterian in July 2011. “When we’re firing on all cylinders, we’re offering prayer at a higher level than just offering words.”

Having had that experience himself and having seen it in others has completely shaped Will’s approach to preparing music for worship.

“During rehearsal, we reach a point where it’s as good as we can make it without the help of the Holy Spirit,” Will said. “So when I say, during rehearsal, ‘Let’s save the rest for church,’ the choir members know what that means. It means I think we’ve gotten to the point where we can leave it for the Holy Spirit.”

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ill’s grandmother, Jane Young, was a gifted musician who served the church her entire life. Under her guidance, Will started learning the piano at age 6. In his sock feet, he taught himself to play the organ. At the age of 10, he played his first church service— his great-grandfather’s funeral service.

“I hadn’t learned to sight read yet and I played only what I could play by ear,” he said.

He had various music teachers throughout high school and by the time he was 15, he was playing for his church. He also played sports and served on the Student Council. continues on next page ....

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“Music is a language of the heart. Hymns are a language of the heart and faith—soul music of faith—an expression of collective worship, praise and gratitude to our loving God…To sing God of the Sparrow…is to sense both the abiding love of God and our response to that love. Likewise, to sing Lord of the Dance is to sense the joy and celebration of life… Hymns…speak truth to the heart.”

- Ward McKeithen, in a 2014 devotional written as an introduction to the new hymnal, Glory to God “I am not a gifted musician at all. I have to practice and listen and I can’t read music very well—it’s just learning and trying. To me that learning is also a form of worship.

There’s something about saying I’m going to try and learn more every day that is honoring the life that God gives us. This choir is truly a ministry. ‘Come unto this. If you have the willingness, then come.’”

- Eleanor Hatcher

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“When we’re firing on all cylinders, we’re offering prayer at a higher level than just offering words.”

“Singing with this choir allows me to continue my spiritual odyssey and this deep, abiding engagement with music. Music has always been a form of prayer for me. The majority of my professional life has been as a solo artist but when I sing with this choir, I continue to be reminded that my music is prayerful—for me and I hope for the congregation.”

- Loretta Giles

“My grandfather was a Presbyterian elder decades ago and his family often had singing and music on Sunday afternoons. They were pretty stern but prayerful folks and I sometimes am singing in church and some text or part of a text will bring tears to my eyes. Music communicates with your soul or maybe to a degree music elevates that kind of response. It’s a lovely arrangement when it happens.”

- Morris Spearman

spring 2018 • tapestry • 27

“The soul has to change before the voice can change.

That’s why this is ministry and not simply music.

I’m not so self-righteous to think I can do that, but I have to let [the choir]

know why that is important to me.” ... continued from previous page Will was first conscious of music as prayer while singing in the church choir at BirminghamSouthern College, a Methodist college in his home state of Alabama.

In that choir, he was influenced by people with a significant legacy and lineage in choral settings. Singing with that choir, with those influences, transformed music into prayer for him.

He was first conscious of music as prayer while singing in the church choir at Birmingham-Southern College, a Methodist college in his home state of Alabama. In that choir, he was influenced by people with a significant legacy and strong lineage in choral settings. Singing with that choir, with those influences, transformed music into prayer for him. “That experience helped me decide to change from being a business major to being a performance major, a direction that brought me to the place where I would lead music in church.”

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ne of Will’s goals in directing the choir is to help everyone focus on their role in an ensemble, not their role as a soloist. He does that with a clear understanding that directing a choir is a work of faith, just as singing in a choir is.

“The soul has to change before the voice can change,” he said.

“That’s why this is ministry and not simply music. I’m not so selfrighteous to think I can do that, but I have to let them know why that is important to me. This is ministry and the choir members have to know what the choir director’s soul looks like. Part of my journey here is learning that I have to be really honest with them, let them see that side of me.”

He points out that members of the choir walk a fine line between perfectionism and performance as a way to offer their very best as professionals, while also remaining humble enough to sacrifice to something larger than their own talent.

“I don’t like that cliché, but what choir members do is exactly that—offering ourselves up for something bigger than we are,” Will said. “Choir members must have a kind of servant heart to make good ensemble sound.”

There is one more component of music that Will points to when he thinks about music as prayer.

Photo by Rob Grier

music and I will tell you why,” he said. “It has everything to do with my Sanctuary Choir family. It is 100% community. There’s something so powerful about that number of people giving of themselves. It’s a selfless thing. You’re giving your time, making yourself vulnerable, offering this spiritual part of yourself, the hard work to produce sound in a healthy way—your belly expands, your lungs fill, you lift your soft palate, all these physical responses that create sound. Singing is a physical commitment, a spiritual commitment. I never experience church more powerfully than when we are in the center of that.”

Part of that power comes from the diversity in the choir.

“Think about what this choir is—50 or so people who come from a wide background, socio-economically, educationally, demographically,” he said. “We have people in our choir who have no faith background, people I am 100% certain are still exploring their faith, struggling with it. So what you get is a group of people who are different in just about every way imaginable.”

They bring all those differences to the work of praying through music.

“Think about all the things that have to go right for something to evoke an emotional response, both from the singer and the listener—30 to 50 people have to breathe at the same time and onset together for the first note and all the notes that follow. When that happens, when things are prepared, you have those moments of transcendence. That’s not about perfectionism. That’s about giving God space.”

CHURCH PRESBYTERIAN FIRST FO R C HRI S T I N T HE HE A RT O F C HA RLOT T E

“I don’t know that this is something I’ll be able to articulate well but one of the most tangible connections to faith for me is

28 • tapestry • spring 2018

“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul.

It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”

Mahatma Gandhi

“Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?”

Corrie ten Boom

“I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”

Martin Luther

PRAYER “I found my God in music and the arts, with writers like Hermann Hesse, and musicians like Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf, and Little Walter. In some way, in some form, my God was always there, but now I have learned to talk to him.”

Eric Clapton

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.”

Meister Eckhart

“I prayed for freedom for twenty years, but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.”

Frederick Douglass, Autobiographies

“You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.”

Kahlil Gibran

“The wise man in the storm prays to God not for safety from danger but for deliverance from fear.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

spring 2018 • tapestry • 29

New Members

Sandra Anderson

Steve & Anna Godwin

Scott A. Marsh

Caroline Peters & James Dixon

Anne Prather

Amanda & Beau Pratt

Nancy Rogers

Debbie Sidbury

Sandra Anderson

• Originally from Mantua, a small town in northeast Ohio • Retired as a kitchen designer; had worked as training director for national insurance company & then a home decor chain • Received her Bachelor of Science in Business Administration from Ohio University • Loves dog shows, cooking and entertaining; restored three landmark houses in Chicago, Toronto and Pittsburgh • Has been in Charlotte 2 ½ years; currently lives in SouthPark

Steve & Anna Godwin

• Steve is from Tenafly, NJ; Anna from Wilson, NC • Anna is a Major Gifts Officer at Communities in Schools; Steve is a partner at DHR International, an executive search firm • Steve went to Davidson, Anna to UNC Chapel Hill • Children: Caroline, 16, and Kate, 13 • Steve plays golf, Anna plays tennis • In Charlotte since August 2016

30 • tapestry • spring 2018

Scott A. Marsh

• Grew up in Mobile, AL, and moved to Charlotte to attend grad school after completing his Bachelor's degree at the University of South Alabama • Currently employed in land surveying and actively searching for a position in investment, having originally worked at Interstate/Johnson Lane and Wachovia Securities • Enjoys reading, going to the beach, and sports such as golf, tennis and snow skiing, which allow him to enjoy the outdoors.

Caroline Peters

• Originally from Columbia, MD • Attended Clemson University • Has one son, 2-year-old Owen

James Dixon

• Originally from Galax, VA • Attended Virginia Tech • Has two sons, 8-year-old Adam and 2-year-old Owen

Hays Phillips

James Stoll & Erin Green

Hays Phillips

• A long-time visitor who joined last fall • Relocated from Greensboro and now lives in center city Charlotte • Looks forward to getting involved in outreach ministries

Anne Prather

• Grew up in the Swiss Community of Berne, IN, where she was a member of the Reformed Church • Former English teacher and Library Media Specialist • Children Tom and Jenny live in Indiana; Cindy lives in Charlotte; 7 grandchildren • Enjoys book clubs, sports, jazz, politics and volunteering with the Assistance League of Charlotte • Moved to South Charlotte from the Indianapolis area in 2005 continues on next page ....

People in the Pews

... continued from previous page

Amanda & Beau Pratt

• Amanda is from Muskogee, OK; Beau is from Richmond, VA • Amanda is Senior Vice President in Corporate Communications at Bank of America; Beau is Director in Financial Planning and Analysis at Duke Energy • Amanda attended the University of San Diego; Beau attended the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill • Son Robert Harris “Hart” Pratt born in November, 2017 • Beau has lived in Charlotte for five years; Amanda almost three years; they currently live in Eastover

Nancy Rogers

• Grew up in Texas and attended Texas Tech in Lubbock • Married her high school sweetheart, who was with Pepsi; they lived in Chicago and Connecticut during his career; retired to Pawley’s Island, SC • Coached high school cheerleading and worked as a freelance writer • After her husband’s death, moved to Charlotte because her grown children live here • Member of the Mecklenburg County Historical Society, author of a book about historic Columbia, author of South Carolina Hall of Fame biographies and website, and works as a docent at Latta Plantation

Debbie Sidbury

• Born in Kinston, NC; lived in Durham during teenage years • Attended Converse College in Spartanburg, SC, where she met her husband, David • Raised their family in Charlotte, where David grew up • Married almost forty-four years when David passed away in March • Also has a house near Charleston, SC

James Stoll & Erin Green • James is originally from Nashville, TN; Erin from Farmington, CT • James is Director of Financial Planning & Analysis for Office Depot; Erin is Assistant Director for Campus Recruiting for Ernst & Young • James attended Auburn University and Erin attended Clemson University • Their daughter Ellie is 9 months old • James enjoys golf, snowboarding; Erin enjoys yoga, health & wellness • In Charlotte 3 ½ years; currently live in Plaza Midwood

In each issue, we ask the people in the pews to answer a question related to their faith journey.

In this issue, our question is: For what or whom are you praying?

I pray for childlike faith, joy and certainty that all I have learned and come to believe is the truth. I pray for God to forgive me for times of doubt.

My outgoing prayer is for my family.

Julie Rayner I am praying for people who may be struggling.

I’m praying that people remember to always keep moving and to believe in themselves, strive for what they want to be and keep true to their hearts.

Aiden Johnson

I’m praying for a better house and marriage to my children’s father. I have a house, but I’m not thrilled with the area. I just want my children to be comfortable.

Tameka Simpson

I’m praying for the leadership of our country, and for some semblance of peace and clear thinking. I’m praying for friends who have health issues.

Dianne Hite

spring 2018 • tapestry • 31

Holy Week and Easter at First Presbyterian Church

Sunday, March 25

Palm Sunday Services at 9 and 11 a.m.

The Promise of Humility The Reverend Katelyn Cooke

Monday, March 26

Weekday School 3’s Easter Egg Hunt 9:30 a.m.

Thursday, March 29

Child Development Center Egg Hunt On the front lawn, 3:30 p.m.

Maundy Thursday Sacrament of the Lord’s Supper & Service of Tenebrae Sanctuary, 7:30 p.m.

Easter Sunday, April 1 Sunrise Service

Romare Bearden Park, 7 a.m.

Churches partnering with First Presbyterian this year include Caldwell Presbyterian, Center City Church, First United Presbyterian, Grier Heights Presbyterian, M2M Worshipping Community, Myers Park Presbyterian, St. John’s Baptist, St. Luke Missionary Baptist, Statesville Avenue Presbyterian, The Avenue and Trinity Presbyterian.

Flowering the Cross

Bring flowers from your yard or from the store to decorate the cross outside the Sanctuary, 9-11 a.m.

Adult Formation

One class in the Chapel and a combined class for Adults and Youth in Frances Browne Dining Room (P212), 10-10:45 a.m.

Preschool Egg Hunt, Toddler-TK

Join us Sunday April, 1 for our Preschool Egg Hunt. Bring your basket to Wood Fellowship Hall, 10-10:30 a.m. Egg Hiders and Group Guides can sign up at https://tinyurl.com/PreschoolEgghunt

Easter Activities, grades K-5

Join us for Easter activies on Sunday, April 1, in the Wood Fellowship Hall Overflow, 10-10:30 a.m.

Preschool & Elementary Butterfly Release, Toddlers-grade 5 On the front lawn, 10:30-10:45 a.m.

Worship

The Reverend Pen Peery preaching Sanctuary, 9 and 11 a.m.