Families North Devon & Exeter Mar/Apr 2013

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The essential local magazine for parents...

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Issue 6 March/April 2013

Easter Activities What is

Autism?

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How

Childcare Divorce and Separation

FREE

DELIVERY!

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❤ plus your local What’s On Guide & much more inside

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Dealing with

is Changing

March/April 2013

Contents

News

2-3 Special Needs 4 what is Autism?

Health

5 how to cope with bed wetting Childcare Feature 6 how childcare is changing Education

7 the latest news Food for thought 8 nutrition tips Books

9 reviews & world book day Divorce & Separation 10-11 telling the children & mediation Parenting Tips 12 New Year, New You What’s On

13-15 out & about Easter 16 Easter traditions

Note from the editor

6 10 14

Happy Easter!

I can’t believe it’s March already and 2013 seems to be flying by! So it’s time to wish all our readers a Happy Easter (don’t eat too much chocolate!)

We have a really packed issue for you this time, starting with a feature about Autism and what to do if you think your child is different. Also there is a great column from Dr Sue about bed wetting and ways to deal with it.

There are also features on childcare, education, nutrition & books.

News

Train them up Leading Health and Safety training company Aid Training has set up a petition to make first aid training compulsory in schools. St. John Ambulance reports that 140,000 people in the UK die each year in situations where first aid could have saved them and Aid Training intends to reduce this number.

First Aid is a mandatory subject for Welsh and Northern Ireland pupils, but in England and Scotland it is only an option within the curriculum, and in a survey of more than 1,500 schoolchildren, 7/10 said they would not know how to help in an emergency and 8/10 said that they would feel safer if they had some first aid knowledge. Over 400,000 children are injured each year at school and compulsory first aid training can save lives and ensure minor injuries don’t become major ones. “97% of young people said they believed first aid education would improve their skills to act in a crisis,” said Paul Hosking, Managing Director at Aid Training. “Training in schools would give people the confidence to respond to emergency situations; it is a fundamental life skill, literally!” www.aid-training.co.uk/news

Real Nappies…Real Change This year’s Real Nappy Week takes place 15 to 21 April, with the theme of ‘Real Nappies...

Real Change!’ to inspire a new generation of parents to make the change. The week is shaping up to be very exciting, with each day allocated a theme such as Real Choice, Real Easy and Real £change looking at the benefits of Real Nappies.

If you are currently going through a divorce or separation, or know someone who is, be sure to have a look at our feature on pages 1011. We have lots of advice on dealing with communication and the opportunity for you put your questions to our expert.

This year you can get stuck in by taking part in The Great Cloth Diaper Change on 20 April at 11am, and be part of a world record breaking attempt for the most Real Nappies changed simultaneously. On 21 April join in Real Clean and hang a chain of washing up in your garden, as others will do up and down the land. There are loads of events taking place across the country during Real Nappy Week, where you can meet people who use Real Nappies, get great advice as well as get your hands on nappies to see how they work. Find out about the latest events in your area at www.goreal. org.uk/real-nappy-week.

We also have our new parenting tips page with some great advice from mums for mother’s day and of course our what’s on guide and lots of Easter activities.

Or you can hold your own event - it can be as simple as inviting friends around for a quick demo, or organising a fashion show to show off the latest Real Nappy trends. Email info@goreal.org.uk for support packs and advice.

Don’t forget to check out the website for details of the new Chooser Tool to help you choose which nappy is right for you, plus you can watch online fashion shows where you can see a range of show-stopping nappies! You can also apply for trial kits online, speak to advisors and take advantage of the special offers and prizes during Real Nappy Week. And don’t miss the online webinars for demonstrations of how to use Real Nappies. Plus, if you have never used them before don’t miss The Great Real Nappy Giveaway.

Check www.goreal.org.uk/real-nappy-week for details of how to enter.

Editor and local mum

Next issue: May/June 2013

• Parties Feature

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If you are interested in advertising and would like to know more about pricing, distribution and upcoming articles please call 01271 863995 or email editor@familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

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© Families North Devon & Exeter. We take every care preparing this magazine, but the publishers and distributors cannot be held responsible for the claims of advertisers nor for the accuracy of the contents nor for any consequences. Any original materials submitted for publication are sent at owner’s risk and, while every care is taken, neither Families North Devon & Exeter nor its agents accept liability for loss or damage. Families North Devon & Exeter is part of the Families ® group, established in 1990 and headed by Families South West. All franchised magazines in the group are independently owned and operated under license.

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News

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If you have any news which our readers would like to hear about, send it to editor@familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

It’s true – phonics works!

English schools climb the international league table in reading thanks to phonics. PIRLS, the international comparison of reading teaching achievement, has published results which show that figures for reading in England have improved significantly, with the country moving up 8 places to number 11th. “It’s incredibly good news to see England rising up the table,” said Chris Jolly, Publisher of Jolly Learning, the synthetic phonics programme of choice for many primary schools. “There is still work to be done though; we need to work harder in reducing the widespread range of achievement in England, and the huge difference between girls and boys which is unreasonably high. Synthetic phonics has shown over the years what a fantastic difference it makes for helping children to learn to read and write. I see no reason why we shouldn’t be challenging for the number 1 position currently held by Hong Kong and Russia.”

Labels4Kids launches NEW WEBSITE Leading UK based international kids’ labelling specialist Labels4Kids is launching their new look website for March 2013. Attention to detail is something Labels4Kids does well and to make high quality labelling easily available to help families save money on returning property to them is something vital more so than ever before with the cost of new clothing, shoes and other belongings increasing all the time.

All eyes on young talent

A close-up of spider eyes has been named top of the snaps in the RSPCA Young Photographer Awards 2012. Through the Looking Glass by Francis Prior from Liverpool, a striking macro image of the common household spider, was named overall winner of the competition.

“This image just jumped out at us,” said Wildlife TV presenter and RSPCA vice president Chris Packham. “It is bold, bright and very unusual. A completely different league to anything we’ve seen before. Quite brilliant.”

Other winners include Oscar Dewhurst from Chiswick, who topped the Portfolio category with a selection of images of bitterns – including one bird camouflaged in the reeds, another hunting in a marshy pool and several others being chased by some crows in the sky. www.rspca.org.uk/ypa.

Nurseries expand

Nurseries are set to look after more children as reforms raise the cap on the number of toddlers and babies they can take. Nurseries will be allowed to increase the number of toddlers they care for under plans aimed at cutting childcare costs, with the Government hoping that raising the number of places available will bring down fees, making it easier for mothers to return to work. The cost of a full-time nursery place can be as much as £300 in London, but now the current limit of one member of staff to every four toddlers will increase to six two year olds to every childcare worker. The ratios for under-1s and 1 year olds will also go up from 1:3 to 1:4, although the move is dependent on nurseries having a high proportion of well-qualified staff. The relaxing of the cap on toddler numbers will bring the UK in line with other countries such as Denmark and Ireland. Ratios for ages 3 and higher will remain the same.

COLOURS OF THE RAINBOW WORKSHOPS

The new Labels4Kids website makes ordering so much easier and you can even try designing your labels on the site prior to ordering. The fun site covers labelling for your children, your sport requirements, camping, corporate and even care home items for grandparents. In addition they have a full personalised clothing site with a separate checkout to produce high quality clothing in both climacool and normal ranges. These are not thin cotton material garments but thick, high quality items that will last.

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Labels4Kids is pleased with the new look website at www.labels4kids.com and is confident that the customers will like it too. Ann-Maree Morrison, the founder and Managing Director, commented “This website has been a massive investment for us in order to cater for our International Development and I am very proud to be able to show it off to the world at last. The new Labels4Kids site will make ordering so much more pleasurable, with faster load times and better images, as well as allowing on site design and easier access to our social media hints and advice. We have even more big plans in the pipeline”.

“We are not the cheapest labelling company. You wouldn’t skimp on what you feed your child, or on their needs, so why skimp on labelling their expensive belongings? The same with sports gear, going camping or the clothing for granny or grandpa if they have to go to a Care Home. What we do, we do well and the difference with us is WE LISTEN. We have, I believe, the best quality labels for a reasonable price. Labels4Kids has very high levels of customer service with a money back guarantee, a free returns policy and a free 1st class delivery option.”

EASTER TRAIL & Newly hatched chicks 29 March - 14 April RAINBOW KITES - Drop in Craft Workshop 3 April COLOURS OF THE RAINBOW - Craft Workshop 8 April RAINBOW SHADES DISCOVERY WALKS 9 April RAINBOW KNITTING SESSIONS 11 & 12 April

RHS GARDEN ROSEMOOR

See the full range by ordering at www.labels4kids.com/fam today.

rhs.org.uk/rosemoor

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Special Needs

What is Autism?

By Dr Lucy Russell

Dr Lucy Russell takes a looks at how autism can affect children and what a diagnosis will entail.

Autism is a developmental disability that affects children and how they communicate and relate to others around them. Autism can’t be cured, but there is lots of support that can help children learn to cope with their difficulties.

Autism is also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). The spectrum part of ASD means that, while all people with autism share certain areas of difficulty, their condition will affect them in different ways.

If your child has autism, it’s important to remember that it also brings strengths. Many people with autism like to focus in on very small details of things in great depth. Channelled in the right way this could make them brilliant artists, mathematicians or computer programmers.

Autism brings difficulties There are difficulties with autism, generally they are in three main areas.

Communication: Development of language is often delayed in children with an ASD. Both verbal and nonverbal (ie, gestures) communication can appear unusual. Children may make fewer gestures than ‘normal’ children, such as pointing.

They often struggle to make eye contact with others. Conversation with a child on the autistic spectrum may feel disjointed and not synchronised with the person they are talking to or with. Such children may struggle with the ‘to and fro’ nature of a two-way conversation, and may dominate or avoid conversations. People on the autistic spectrum tend to be ‘black and white thinkers’, and struggle to understand phrases that are not concrete, or where the meaning is not obvious.

Social interaction: Every environment has social rules, such as turntaking and good manners. People with ASD can struggle to see others’ perspectives, so rules like turn-taking are often difficult to grasp. Some rules may seem illogical and confusing to a child with ASD. Why would you use different words when you’re talking to a child as opposed to an adult?

Why are there rules about who you can play with in the playground and who you can’t? Why do I have to wait my turn?

Obsessions and rituals: Because they often find the world unpredictable and scary, and are good at focusing on fine detail, people with ASD often develop intense and specialist interests. These interests may become obsessions. Common ones are trains/ Thomas the Tank Engine, and science fiction, but they can be almost anything. An obsession can be positive as it gives a child a ‘specialist subject’ which they can be expert on. They can help build a child’s self-esteem as well as being enjoyable. If an obsession begins to take over a child’s life in a negative way, however, and other things get pushed out, it’s important to seek help.

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© Doorq - Fotolia.com

Autism brings strengths

Are there any quick tests?

Unfortunately not. Every child with autism is different and so diagnosing takes input from different professionals and different assessments. There are a couple of useful tools which you may wish to try. The national autistic society website (www.autism.org.uk/) provides information on The Checklist for Autism in Toddlers (CHAT) and The Australian Scale for Asperger’s Syndrome (Garnett and Attwood 1998). By no means should these tools ever be considered as a diagnosis.

Will a diagnosis help my child?

This is understandably a big step for parents. On one hand, having a formal diagnosis can enable the family to move forward and plan how best to support the child’s strengths and weaknesses.

On the other hand, parents are often worried that having a ‘label’ will be a negative thing for their child. There is no easy answer to this dilemma, however, a diagnosis is often a positive thing for the family.

How is a diagnosis made?

Assessments are conducted with input from a multi-disciplinary team. There are usually multiple parts to the assessment including a structured parent interview with a psychologist, a cognitive assessment, occupational therapist assessment and school/nursery observation. The range of assessments is designed to ensure accuracy of diagnosis.

What getting a diagnosis can mean ‘A few months ago our daughter was assessed and diagnosed with mild Asperger’s. Having the assessments conducted privately meant the process took about a month. It was, however, a difficult time, worrying if we had done the right thing and what would a diagnosis mean. How would being labelled affect the way she was treated? I realise now that she would have been labelled anyway as being different.

‘Now we know and understand more about the condition life is easier, so many battles have just disappeared. The fact she will eat cheese and bread but not a cheese sandwich is no

Can healthcare professionals help after diagnosis?

Absolutely. There are lots of things that can be done to help your child with their difficulties.

For instance an occupational therapist can support your child with any sensory issues (such as dislike of noisy or bright places). A clinical psychologist can support the child therapeutically in areas such as social skills, anxiety or obsessions. The aim of therapy will be to reduce the impact of your child’s difficulties.

With help your child should be able to learn how to cope and adapt to minimise the difficulties.

This can have a very positive knock-on effect on how they build friendships and their general happiness.

Asperger’s syndrome One autism spectrum disorder is Asperger’s syndrome. Children with this syndrome can have significant difficulties in social interaction, and sometimes repetitive patterns of behaviour and interests. Children with Asperger’s can have highly functioning speech and ability. Physical clumsiness and peculiar use of language are also frequently seen.

Dr Lucy Russell is a Clinical Psychologist and leads the autism service at Everlief Child Psychology in Buckinghamshire.

longer an issue. We have found a social skills programme to follow, and are able to explain to friends that she is not being rude when she makes factual, honest comments. We have been able to find great resources that will help her learn the rules that she cannot pick up naturally. School reinforces these rules and teachers can now make allowances for the long detailed explanations she likes to give.

‘We have been able to see some of the positive aspects of her condition and build on these and access systems to help manage the negatives.

We feel that the more she is understood by those around her, the more able she will be to cope with the demands of growing up.’

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Health What to Do if Your Child is “Different”

by Gabrielle Starkey

When I became pregnant, I felt like I’d stepped through the looking glass. I’d been focusing on my career and never paid too much attention to family life, but suddenly it was everywhere, and I’d unwittingly joined a new club. There were new rules, and I was playing catch-up, but I soon began to feel at home in this warm, welcoming world of bumps and babies. But when my child’s behaviour started to go off the rails, at just 18 months, it stretched the welcome of my new world to the limit. I was forced, eventually, to step through another looking glass – into the world of Special Educational Needs (SEN).

I decided to write this article to help other parents to access the services they may need right at the start of their SEN journey. Every child is different and will need their own, personal help, so one solution doesn’t fit all. But the SEN system can be a maze, and finding the right people and organisations to help you through it is all-important. I hope that if you’re struggling with the fact that your child seems different from his or her peers, you’ll find something here that will help.

My top tips: See your doctor

Your first port of call is your GP. If you feel something is wrong, you don’t need to wait for the nursery or school to tell you (although they will, if they feel your child is struggling).

Depending on your child’s symptoms, your GP can refer you to CAMHS (the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service –the county’s child psychologists), a Speech and Language therapist or a paediatrician. If you’re referred to CAMHS, ask as soon as possible about the length of the waiting list, as it can be very long (my son was waiting 16 months to be assessed).

How to cope with bed wetting (Enuresis)...

Bed wetting can be a really difficult problem as children get older. Some parents feel uncomfortable discussing the problem because it can be embarrassing for the child. It is however more common than you might think and you are certainly not alone.

Did you know?

What causes it? t 1 in 7 children we e the bed at the ag There is no specific cause but the of 5 following factors may contribute: lem ob by age 10 the pr • Stress- (especially if starting after 20 in 1 ts ec still aff being dry for a time) perhaps the arrival n childre of new baby, starting school or upsetting issues.

• Drinks and foods containing caffeine (tea, coffee, cola and chocolate) • Constipation • Children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder have an increased risk • Rarely there may be a medical cause eg. infection, but in this case the child will It is twice usually have daytime problems as well as common in boys as it If your child is still wetting the bed, is in girls

what can you do about it?

Don’t be ashamed

Your child’s disability is not your fault, you didn’t ask for it and beating yourself up about it won’t help anyone. It’s natural to feel sad that your highflying dreams for your child might not now come true, but he/she is still your child and needs you. Think positive.

Keep talking to your child’s school/nursery

If your child is at nursery or school, liaise with the nursery manager or head teacher about your child’s progress and behaviour, and keep them informed of any changes outside school/nursery. This can help to build up a full picture of the child’s environment, which might shed some light on the problem. Don’t get defensive – they will be trying to help you and your child, not judging you.

Get reading

Once you have received a diagnosis – or even before – read up on the problem, or what you think it is. I have amassed quite a library on Attachment Disorder, Autism, Asperger Syndrome, ADHD, inflexible children and special diets! Be aware, though, that it’s all too easy to misdiagnose your child from a book or the internet – many symptoms overlap different diagnoses, and some behavioural problems actually have their roots in physical or emotional difficulties. For instance, a child who is dyslexic might act badly through frustration, or a child with hearing problems might switch off in class because they can’t hear the teacher. It’s important to see the professionals to get a proper diagnosis.

Reach out and make connections

Join a support group, even before diagnosis. This might be controversial, but having a child with an SEN can be isolating, and meeting others in a similar situation – whatever their children’s difficulties – can help you feel less alone. It’s also true that there is help out there that can’t normally be accessed before diagnosis, and you can find out about it at these groups.

Become a “Velvet Bulldozer”

Doctor Sue

Sandy Row, a mother of four adopted children with autism, has written a book called The Velvet Bulldozer about her determined battle with the authorities to get her children properly diagnosed and supported. If you feel you’re not getting appropriate support, don’t just give up – sometimes you have to fight for the best for your child.

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Always remember it is not the child’s fault. Be patient. Give reassurance and love • Try leaving off nappies from time to time but go back to them if wet beds continue • When your child is old enough, get them to help change the sheets. Try not to make a fuss about it.

• Make sure there is nothing to discourage your child from getting up for the toilet (leave lights on if necessary. Avoid upper bunks if possible).

• Do not restrict drinks in the day (should have 1 to 1.5 litres) but only give drinks if child thirsty in the 2-3 hours before bedtime.

Bed • Make sure your child goes to the toilet wetting is regularly through the day and before going normal up to bed. Lifting when you go to bed is not until the age recommended. of 5 • If your child is constipated, get advice and treatment. Curing this may stop the bed wetting • Bed wetting may stop if away from home for a few days. A short stay with willing friends or relatives may be a positive experience for your child.

• Use waterproof covers for mattresses and duvets and absorbent sheets

Other treatment options for the older child • • • •

Continue as above. Bed wetting will stop eventually Reward systems and charts- get advice on this before starting. The goal need not be a dry night.

Bed wetting alarms- discuss with your GP or local continence advisor Medicines: Desmopressin reduces the amount of urine produced. It does not give a permanent cure but may be useful for holidays. Other medicines might be suggested.

Further Information- www.eric.org.uk Helpline 0845 370 8008 Advice from Sue - a GP for over 30 years, now retired. Sue has two grown up children and four grandchildren.

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Childcare

How childcare is changing...

Childcare in Britain costs more than childcare almost anywhere else in the world – according to recent figures, 27% of the income of families with young children is spent on the costs of a nanny, a childminder or a nursery. Everyone agrees it would be better if childcare was more affordable – especially for parents with two or more children, many of whom say it doesn’t make financial sense for them both to be at work.

But how can childcare be made cheaper without compromising on quality? That’s the question everyone, from government ministers to childcare providers, is grappling with at the moment.

By Joanna Moorhead

for childcare; raising this to £75 a week would make a real difference to parents, the chain argues. In comparison, the saving to families if the Truss proposals go through would amount, says Busy Bees, to around £3.50 per week.

What about tax breaks?

Childcare vouchers are one form of tax breaks for parents paying for childcare. However, before the recent Truss announcement it had been hoped that the scheme would be reformed and extended, allowing more parents to benefit from the scheme, and those already using it to save more.

Unfortunately these hopes haven’t come to fruition: Ms Truss has said changes are in the pipeline, but that they’re “going to be slightly longer in the gestation than would be ideal”.

What the government is saying In late January the government announced a new plan to change child:staff ratios for childminders and nurseries, in a move it says will cut costs for parents and raise pre-school standards.

Early years minister Elizabeth Truss is proposing that: *Childminders, who are currently restricted to looking after three children aged one to five, should in future be able to look after four *They would also be allowed to look after two children aged under one, instead of being restricted to one child under one *Nurseries will be allowed to increase their staff-to-child ratio from the current 1:4 to 1:6 *For under-ones, the ratio will rise from 1:3 to 1:4 *Qualifications would be raised for new nursery staff – they’ll be required to have a GCSE grade C or above in English and Maths Other changes include the introduction of a new graduate-level early years teaching qualification Truss says the proposals won’t lead to children being neglected: she points out that the changes she is suggesting will still leave England with higher staff:child ratios than those for childcarers in France, Denmark and Germany, three countries that are often cited as providing high-quality care for pre-school children.

While we wait for another announcement, it’s being reported that the scheme under consideration could be worth thousands of pounds – sources close to the government have said working women with children aged under five could become entitled to claim a flat rate tax allowance of £2,000 a year to pay someone to look after their children.

But if that’s the good news, the bad news – sadly – is that with all the political wrangling going on behind the scenes, the plan could take some time...though some experts still believe it could be introduced before the next General Election.

How to cut your childcare costs in the short term So the bottom line is that there’s not a huge amount happening at government level to cut your childcare costs right now – so if you need to get them down, it’s up to you to find a way. Here are a few ideas we’ve come up with at Families: •

Her basic argument is that the current relatively tight ratios have two main effects: they mean higher costs for parents, and lower pay for staff. The changes she’d like to see would, she believes, lead to lower fees for parents and higher pay for staff, and this in turn would improve the quality of childcare workers over time.

But Labour’s shadow education secretary Stephen Twigg says he believes the plans would undermine the quality of the UK’s childcare.

“I think this is one area where we’ve got something to teach other countries,” he says. “If you look at France, there’s quite a big public debate about whether they’ve got this right.”

Marg Randles, managing director of Busy Bees, the UK’s largest childcare provider with 213 nurseries across the country, says the suggestion of changed ratios for three to four year olds would put her nurseries on the same ratio levels as school settings. But the important issue for Busy Bees is childcare vouchers: currently, employers are allowed to give employees up to £55 a week in tax-free vouchers to pay

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• • •

Change your working hours: as a parent with a child under 16, you’re entitled to request flexible working hours from your employer, provided you’ve worked there for more than six months. You could ask to fit your work into fewer days that are longer – then your partner could collect your child or children from your carer on the days you’re working, and you can cut childcare bills.

If you work part-time and use a nursery, check out whether the fees are lower on certain days of the week (they sometimes are) and see if you can switch the days you work.

Team up with a friend who’s also working part-time and has a child of a similar age. So you look after her child with yours while she’s working, and vice versa.

When you’re choosing a childminder, check whether she can access the free 15 hours’ childcare a week that all three and four-year-olds are entitled to – not all childminders can do this, and it can be worth up to £180 for 38 weeks of the year.

For more on childcare go to www.familiesonline.co.uk

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© Tatyana Gladskih - Fotalia.com

©Alliance - Fotalia.com

So the details of the scheme are still being worked out, and it’s been widely reported in the press that there are ideological differences within the Coalition. Nick Clegg, the Liberal Democrat deputy prime minister, has suggested that changes should be for those on lower incomes, while the Conservatives are believed to want the breaks to be universal.

Education

Education News

From now on, children are to be awarded extra marks for using long division in maths, as long division and multiplication make a return to maths exams. As part of a Government incentive to increase standards in primary schools, 11 year olds will receive extra marks for using traditional methods of calculation in their Sats tests.

Even if they end up with the wrong answer, the workings-out of sums will receive additional marks. The changes are due to be introduced from 2016 and coincide with the introduction of a new primary maths curriculum which places greater strength on times tables and mental arithmetic, plus calculators will be banned in maths tests sat by 11-year-olds at the end of primary school.

The draft national curriculum for primary maths says that children should learn “efficient calculation methods”, such as short and long multiplication and division, and that nine-year-olds should know all their times tables up to 12x12 and confidently work with numbers up to 10 million by the end of primary school.

Reading out loud in class ‘does children no good’

Well-loved children’s author Julia Donaldson has said that reading aloud in class is too “wooden” to interest children in books, and instead they should be taught how to read by acting out plays. The Children’s Laureate has suggested that reading aloud makes children feel like they are being tested, rather than inspiring them. The author of The Gruffalo and Room on the Broom said that when she visits a classroom she takes small groups of students aside and works on the play with them, before reading it to the rest of the class. “It can develop children’s reading” as well as build confidence, she said. The author launches a new series of short plays written for especially schools this winter, including plays by authors such as Vivian French, Alison Hawes and Steve Barlow.

Closure of St Margaret’s School, Exeter A statement from St Margaret’s School in Exeter has confirmed that it will be closing at the end of the academic year due to falling pupil numbers.

“Our pupils remain our utmost concern during this difficult time. Teaching staff are contracted to remain in position until August 31st 2013. Everything possible will be done to minimise disruption and ensure pupils continue to receive the same high standards of education and emotional support that St Margaret’s has always provided for the remainder of the academic year.

Appropriate members of staff will be on hand to address any issues pupils may have and help smooth the transition to the next stage of their education.”

The recommendation to close St Margaret’s School was made to the Woodard Corporation by the Governing body. The decision was made following the entrance examinations for the 2013-14 academic year, when it became clear that projected attendance figures meant that the school is no longer financially viable. The school has 290 pupils whose last day will be 10 July.

The Headmistress of The Maynard School in Denmark Road, Exeter, Ms Bee Hughes, said the following when hearing of the news: “The Maynard School is sad to learn of the pending closure at the end of the academic year of St Margaret’s School which has been such a long standing part of the local independent education community. Our priority is to ensure the on-going education of students of all ages and we will do our utmost to help provide continuity of learning in uncertain times. We will continue to work on providing an excellent, academically rigorous education for our students as we have done for the past 353 years and will naturally support the pupils and staff of St Margaret’s in the transition process.”

Ofsted focuses on ‘uninspiring’ teaching

Ofsted inspectors are to target standards at private schools as they claim that pupils are being let down by ‘uninspiring’ teaching.

The school inspection body plans to introduce a new system for inspecting over 1000 independent schools in England, focusing “more sharply” on the classroom as they warn that the level and quality of teaching is one of the key failures of many private schools. From this month onwards, schools will undergo reviews concentrating on the standard of lessons, the achievement of students, the behaviour of students and the quality of leadership provided by head teachers. On top of this, schools will only be given a half-day’s notice before a visit, which will surely keep them on their toes.

The new guidelines will affect most private schools that are not represented by the Independent Schools Council, and includes many small, nonselective schools, profit-making schools and non-Christian faith schools.

“The quality of teaching is a key driver of school improvement,” said Susan Gregory, an Ofsted director. “One of the main findings from Ofsted inspection last year was that the quality of teaching in non-association independent schools tended to be competent but seldom inspiring. It is vital that our inspection is incisive and rigorous, and that judgments are fair, clear and helpful to a school’s further development. With this new framework we will focus more sharply on what makes teaching truly effective.” The changes come alongside a range of new independent school regulations that come into force this winter and follow the introduction of a new system of inspection for state schools that came into practise last autumn.

A* IS

BORN

Kingsley School is celebrating another year of outstanding achievement, in the classroom, on the sports field, and in the local community. www.kingsleyschoolbideford.co.uk

Outstanding achievements, outstanding individuals.

www.familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

Kingsley School, Northdown Road, Bideford, Devon, EX39 3LY t: 01237 426200

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© Vibe Images- Fotalia.com

Long division rules

Compiled by Joanna Parry

Food for thought

Nutrition tips to boost the immune system Bournemouth nutritionist Penny Crowther discusses the 3 most important nutrients for a strong immune system and how average diets are often lacking in them. Discover how to obtain them through foods and/or supplements and how much you need of each.

At this time of year, resistance can be lowered, increasing susceptibility to colds and infections. Even Louis Pasteur, father of the germ theory of illness recognised that a strong immune system is key. Otherwise how can we explain the fact that out of three people exposed to a respiratory germ, only one will get pneumonia, the second person will get minor cold symptoms whilst the third person remains unaffected?

Make sure that reserves of these 3 key immune nutrients, which are not found abundantly in the average diet, are well topped up in your own and your family’s diet. This will give the immune system a fighting chance.

Zinc is absolutely vital for a healthy immune system. The production and

function of immune cells and immune related hormones are all dependent on adequate zinc levels. Zinc is not found widely in foods apart from meat such as lamb and seafood. The best vegetarian sources are pecan nuts, pine nuts, oats, rye, dried split peas & ground pumpkin seeds. A poor sense of taste or smell, reduced appetite, frequent infections and white spots on the nails may be signs of zinc deficiency. Stress, alcohol and pollution deplete zinc levels.

A very high fibre diet is likely to interfere with zinc absorption. A supplement should contain 15-20mg zinc for adults.

Vitamin D deficiency is now known to be common amongst the general

population. Vital not only for strong bones and preventing osteoporosis, this vitamin has recently been found to play an important role in immune health. Vitamin D is made by the body in the presence of sunlight but with the increased use of high SPF factors, advice to cover up and the fact that we are not overwhelmed with sunshine in the UK, mean we are generally not obtaining adequate vitamin D by this means. The principle food sources are oily fish and dairy foods. However is quite a challenge to obtain enough vitamin D without supplementing 800-1000iu daily for adults.

Why is Vitamin A deficiency more common than previously thought?

It is commonly believed that vitamin A is easy to obtain in a balanced diet. However this is not necessarily the case. In theory, if we eat fruit and vegetables which contain beta carotene we should be getting a plentiful supply of vitamin A. Beta carotene is converted into vitamin A by the body when needed. However, the truth is somewhat different.

Whilst plenty of people do manage this conversion efficiently, there are many who don’t or who have poor absorption, leading to inadequate vitamin A levels. Low fat diets are still fashionable for weight loss and this will lead to low vitamin A status as this vitamin can only be absorbed in the presence of fat since it is fat soluble. Vegetarians and vegans who are relying on Carotenoids in green leafy vegetables, orange and yellow fruit and vegetables should serve vegetables with fat to ensure absorption of the carotenoids. The healthiest way to do this is to add a spoonful of extra virgin olive oil, flax oil or hemp oil onto vegetables that are lukewarm rather than hot so as not to change the beneficial fats in the oil into toxic compounds.

How Much Do I Need?

The UK recommended daily intake for adults is approximately 600mcg (2,300iu ).

However it is going to depend very much on the individual, taking into account the factors above relating to vulnerability to deficiency. In many cases a higher intake will be required and therefore a supplement.

As an unfortunate result of scare stories and misinterpretation of the research concerning vitamin A, many UK supplement companies now use beta carotene and not preformed vitamin A .This means you have to look carefully at the labels on multivitamins to check for pre formed vitamin A (this might appear as retinyl palmitate or acetate on the label).

Testing Vitamin A Levels The normal range for retinol in the blood is 28 to 86 μg/dL. However, testing for vitamin A is not particularly useful because deficiency will only show up when it is advanced and severe. This is because the liver stores large quantities of vitamin A.

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By Penny Crowther

Vitamin A (Retinol) is not a vitamin that currently gets much publicity.

This is because deficiency in developed countries is considered rare. The same thinking used to apply to Vitamin D and hopefully the same change of attitude will soon be applied to vitamin A. Vitamin A has a special relationship to healthy immunity. First, it enhances the action of the immune cells, shortening the duration of illness. A deficiency of Vitamin A increases the risk of infection.

Second, it strengthens the delicate outer membranes of the nose, throat, digestive tract and lungs. These membranes are the first line of defence against attack from the outside. It’s also needed for the healthy membranes of the eyes, ears and reproductive organs. Healthy skin, gums and prevention of recurrent infections (including thrush and cystitis) are dependent on adequate Retinol levels.

Another very important role for Vitamin A is the part it plays in maintaining a healthy gut lining. The lining of the intestine in its healthy state consists of densely packed cells like bricks in a wall. “Sheets” of bricks are joined together at tight junctions. If the lining becomes damaged (e.g. by toxins, drugs, food intolerances or parasites), it becomes too permeable allowing substances to pass through the junctions in the gut wall into the blood. This then triggers an immune response. Gut permeability is a new research area.

There are significant recent studies which suggest that gut permeability is a major factor in auto immune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis.

Here are some common signs and symptoms to look out for, relating to vitamin A deficiency (they can also relate to other conditions which is why it’s advisable to consult a practitioner before self diagnosing): *Dry flaky skin *cracked dry skin on heels *acne * brown pigmentation spots on the skin *mouth ulcers *poor vision especially at night *frequent colds, viruses or infections *dandruff *thrush *cystitis *diarrhoea *anaemia that persists despite taking iron supplements * psoriasis * atopic dermatitis * thyroid disorders * ear infections *dry eyes * vaginitis * cystitis *arthritis * hyperkeratosis (thickening of the skin e.g. on elbows, upper arms and heels) *diabetes * cervical dysplasia (abnormal *Inflammatory bowel disease (e.g.

Crohns, colitis) & diseases affecting the intestines such as Coeliac disease, gluten sensitivity, giardia (parasite) infection.

The important fact to remember is that “vitamin A proper” which is preformed vitamin A and known as retinol is only found in animal derived food sources (cheese, egg yolk, oily fish and liver are the richest sources – yoghurt also contains some). Its cousin, beta carotene is found in plant foods, particularly orange and yellow fruits and vegetables and green vegetables.

People with underactive thyroid glands tend to accumulate beta carotene, an indication of poor conversion to vitamin A. This leads to patches of yellow skin particularly on the soles of the feet and palms of the hands and in the creases of the nose. Anorexics and diabetics also have impaired vitamin A conversion. High alcohol consumption also blocks conversion. Vegetarians with an underactive thyroid are at particular risk of low vitamin A. Finally, low zinc levels will predispose to low vitamin A since these two nutrients work together.

Penny Crowther DN Med MBANT CNHC Nutritional Therapy. www.nutritionistbournemouth.co.uk or www.nutritionistlondon.co.uk Caution Women trying to conceive, pregnant or breastfeeding should not take vitamin A supplements without the advice of a practitioner.

Please note the information in this article is not a substitute for medical advice. If you have a medical condition and/or are taking medication, check with your health practitioner.

www.familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

Thursday 7th March 2013 is World Book Day!

Books

All children should receive a World Book Day £1 Book Token through their school. The Book Token can be exchanged for one of eight specially published World Book Day £1 Books, or is redeemable against any book or audio book of their choice costing £2.99 or more at a participating bookshop or book club.

This years books are Alfie’s Shop by Shirley Hughes, Giraffes Can’t Dance by Giles Andreae and Guy Parker-Rees, Horrid Henry’s Guide to Perfect Parents by Francesca Simon, Tony Robinson’s Weird World of Wonders: Funny Inventions by Tony Robinson,The Diamond Brothers in... Two of Diamonds

by Anthony Horowitz, Hang In There Bozo by Lauren Child, Tom Gates: Best Book Day Ever! (so far)

by Liz Pichon and The Chocolate Box Girls: Bittersweet by Cathy Cassidy.

Ed’s Reading Room

 Hi kids, parents, grandparents, teachers – and book lovers everywhere! I’m Ed and here is my Spring book selection for you to enjoy. The books are all available online from Ed’s Reading Room at www.edontheweb.com.

Ed’s Reading Room is an exciting free online book and story club for primary children in homes and schools. Each month, recently published books are selected as Ed’s Books of the Month for Owlets (age 5-7) and Owls (over 7s). On the website, there are fun literacy activities to accompany each book, including wordsearches, quizzes, poetry and reviews, and there are new original stories in Edtime Stories.

There are also lots of other fun online activities, complementary to the curriculum. Check out Ed’s Archive for Ed’s Books of the Month from previous months.

FOR AGES 5-7 YEARS

FOR AGES 7 YEARS PLUS

Arthur and the Mystery of the Egg by Johanne Mercier (Phoenix Yard Books £4.99)

Ghost Buddy: How to Scare the Pants Off Your Pets by Henry Winkler & Lin Oliver (Scholastic £5.99)

ED SAYS: ‘Arthur finds an egg in his grandparents’ garden.

It’s a fairly ordinary egg but when he takes it into the house the grown-ups make a huge fuss. It really is a puzzle where it came from as there are no chickens nearby – and they all try to solve that great mystery, which came first, the chicken or the egg? They are in for a big surprise when the egg cracks, leading Arthur to ask the grown-ups another tricky question!

‘This is a lovely story for young readers who are sure to see things from Arthur’s point of view. There are super illustrations throughout the book which is the first in a new series.’  The Smug Pug by Anna Wilson (Macmillan Children’s Books £5.99)

ED SAYS: ‘Billy Broccoli and his ghostly pal Hoover Porterhouse III, also known as Hoove, are off on another adventure. Hoove is seriously lacking in responsibility so Billy makes it his business to help Hoove improve in this area and he decides a good way forward would be to find Hoove a pet to take care of. But Hoove is not really an animal type so will Billy succeed in helping Hoove mend his ways?

‘This is the latest story in this hilarious series. The adventure shared by these unlikely friends is very entertaining and is gripping from beginning to end.’  Bone Quill by John & Carole E Barrowman (Buster Books £6.99)

ED SAYS: ‘Welcome to Crumbly-under-Edge! Pippa Peppercorn hates the idea of going back to school after the holidays but it is not as bad as she thinks because there is an intriguing new girl at school called Tallulah with an equally intriguing dog, Smug. But when Pippa tells Dash the dachshund at Mrs Fudge’s salon Chop ‘n’ Chat how amazing her new friends are, he is less than impressed.

‘This is a laugh-out-loud story that is packed full of action and fun. The delightfully wacky characters will amuse boys and girls alike.’

ED SAYS: ‘Matt and Emily Calder are twins who possess extraordinary powers including the ability to bring paintings to life. In this their second adventure they try to find their mother who has gone missing and they desperately search for the ancient and mysterious bone quill by travelling back in time. Will they be able to stop those who attempt to abuse its power?

‘This is a thrilling story with fantastic characters and settings. It includes references to real and imaginary paintings thereby encouraging an interest in art. It’s a real page-turner of a book.’

Ed’s Reading Room is part of www.edontheweb.com, a DTI award-winning website. It was created by Maggie Humphreys, a teacher of more than 25 years, and Les Snowdon, who together are authors of several books on fitness walking and healthy eating.

You are very welcome to contact Maggie on 01753 730019 or by email at mgh@edontheweb.com about the website or about Ed on the Web Spelling Bees in schools.

www.familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

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Divorce & Separation

When love is broken...

Depending on the age of the child, realise that this moment might be something that they will always remember – the time you told them that you, mummy and daddy, were going to live separately. It is therefore critical that the news is conveyed with caution and this is what we shall be looking at here.

how do you tell the children? them to the cinema, get them whatever they want and then out to lunch in their favourite restaurant and break the news in there. They don’t need any associations with the news i.e. they don’t need to always see a Pizza Express or a Zizzi restaurant and “remember the time when…”

Here is what you will need to keep in mind and to have in place when and while you are breaking the news.

Chose the right time. You know your children best so you will know when the right time is.

However, before bed is not really a good idea as this means that they are left with their own thoughts through the night, not the best time to digest such news. You want them to be able to come to you through the day with any questions they may have. Of course they will still think about it when the lights are out and for a long time coming but let’s reduce the pain and stress as much as possible.

Tell them together wherever possible. This may sound obvious but I have heard of cases where one parent takes it upon him/herself to talk to the children without the knowledge of the other. If you cannot tell them together for whatever reason, do let the other parent know what, when and how you are intending to tell the children and as you tell the children, do let them know, from the start that their father/mother knows that you are talking to them.

Agree on what you will be telling them and how you will be saying it. As we all know, words carry a lot of power and prepare yourselves for questions.

Some questions to anticipate: Why? Do you not love mummy/daddy any more?

Where are we going to live?

Am I changing schools?

Will I still see daddy/mummy?

By Soila Sindoyo MBPsSS

Most importantly reassure them that it is not their fault in any way. Really make sure that they get this. Contrary to popular belief, not all children blame themselves but it does happen.

You might have to revisit this with them again and again.

Be honest. If it’s a trial separation then let them know, if it’s definitely going to end in a divorce then let them know that too. Do not, under any circumstances, give them false hope. It is not fair on them to have to relieve the whole thing again, once they realise that you will not be getting back together ever again. Do not promise them ANYTHING. If you don’t have an answer then let me them know.

Tell them when you are both calm and have the time to sit through any questions or concerns that they might have. Please don’t rush through it. Tell them when you are somewhere safe, somewhere calm and preferably somewhere familiar to them. This way there are neither new nor noisy distractions. They can concentrate on what is going on here and now. Don’t make it a “special” occasion i.e. take

This is one of the times that you will need to be totally present with your child. Watch them as you speak. Watch their body language and their facial expressions. They can tell you a lot about what is going on within them. Are they fidgety, avoiding eye contact, fighting back tears, curled up? Sometimes these and other behaviours will give you a cue on when to reach out to them physically. “Come here Tom, you look like you could do with a hug right now.” There are some children who might feel that they suddenly need to look after you – “Are you alright mummy/ daddy?” Don’t let them parent you this could just be their way of avoiding hearing, processing and dealing with their own anxieties, fears and worries and displacing/transferring them onto you.

Whatever you tell them make sure it’s age appropriate and use age appropriate words and language. Little ones might not understand a whole account of what is going on while teenagers may need more information.

Be prepared to have them come to speak with you at the most inconvenient time...yes, children have a way of finding the strangest time to want to discuss the most difficult things; when you’re running late for instance. Bear with them. The timing may not be the best for you but it is for your little one.

Do not, under any circumstances, tell the children to keep what is happening at home to themselves. This is very heavy news for a child to carry. You have off-loaded onto them, they should be able to do it too, to whomever they chose. They need care, attention and support from you and others around as opposed to them looking after you and your secrets. Anyway divorce and separation is like pregnancy, you can only keep it a secret for so long.

Soila Sindiyo is a seasoned therapist who helps families and children get through the challenges of divorce. A twice-divorced parent, she deeply understands the challenges faced by families going through divorce.

Her coaching approach was developed over 10 years whilst working with children and families overcome the trauma and after effects of crime.

Soila today specializes in working with mums and children living with or in the shadow of divorce.

Soila is an accredited Triple P (Positive Parenting Program) practitioner and a member of the British Psychological Soceity. She has a Bsc (Hons) in Psychology and Msc in Child Psychology as well as training in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. Soila is also a soon to be qualified family mediator. www.soila.co.uk

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www.familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

Divorce & Separation

Is this the end of Family Law as we know it?

By John Hind

70-80% of people still go to a family lawyer first when they separate rather than a family mediator even though it could be argued that in 70-80% of cases it is more suitable for a family mediator to see the person first. Well, that is at the heart of what the Government believes which is why, on the 1st April this year, in all but exceptional cases, legal aid will no longer be available for divorce and separation.

The Government are keen for people to take responsibility for making their own decisions when a relationship comes to an end rather than rushing to a lawyer and then on to court. They believe that it is important for couples to have all the facts about mediation and other processes before they make a decision about how to separate.

Not only are they ‘ pulling the plug’ on legal aid to see a solicitor, they are also going to make it compulsory for a person wishing to make a court application to attend a meeting with a family mediator first to find out more about mediation, whether it can help and whether it may be suitable. This is the Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) that you may have read about.

So what is family mediation and why mediate?

In summary, mediation is a very flexible process in which a neutral mediator helps and supports the couple to solve their own problems and reach their own financial solutions and children arrangements. It is a highly skilled and very fluid process in which the challenge of reaching outcomes that seem fair to each person becomes the adversary rather than the people involved.

There may be all sorts of reasons why people feel that mediation may not be for them. Many of these are a result of misunderstanding the process or a misperception about what it involves. However, it might also be more about a fear of trying to sort things out together when past efforts have failed.

People will only try mediation if amongst other things, they trust the mediator, understand the process and feel adequately prepared and safe.

If you ask most people when they separate whether they want to go to court a few will say they do, some will see no way of avoiding it, for some it will be necessary to keep them safe or in case of an emergency but, for the vast majority it is completely avoidable.

From the 1st April onwards most people will be encouraged to see a family mediator first who may then refer that person to a family lawyer if is necessary early on or, indeed later on if it becomes necessary to obtain a court order.

However, the reality is that in most of these cases will never be any reason to attend court at any stage which is good news, for most.

We are witnessing a change in how we separate, how we resolve our differences, a radical change in our dispute resolution culture as the family mediator takes over the baton from the family lawyer as the first person to see when facing a relationship and family breakdown.

John E Hind LLB (Hons) is the Director of Compass Resolution, a family mediation network in Exeter, Devon and the South West.

He experienced conflict first hand as a British Army Officer in the 80’s before training in law and becoming a family lawyer in the early 90’s.

He has been a family mediator for 15 years and now specialises exclusively as a mediator, family consultant, skills trainer and mediation coach. He is accredited by the Family Mediation Council, Resolution (The Solicitors Family Law Association), the Legal Services Commission (Legal Aid Board), the Civil Mediation Panel and is a member of the Law Society Family Law Panel. www.compass-resolution.co.uk

The keys to a successful mediation •

Find a skilled and experienced family mediator who is fully accredited with the Family Mediation Council. Typically, mediators come from a variety of backgrounds including family lawyers, chartered financial planners, social workers and therapists. Choose one that has the most appropriate skills and experience for you and your circumstances.

•

Find out more about mediation and what is involved by attending a MIAM. These will be free of charge if you qualify for legal aid. You can work this out yourself by using one of the online calculators. https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid-eligibility-calculator

•

Then, work out why you might want to mediate. The ‘why’ creates the motivation and commitment to resolve things in mediation. What is going to keep you talking and exploring options if and when things get difficult in mediation and you still have the option of going to court?

•

Look for the right support from friends and professionals to help you through the separation process. There is only so much the mediator can do to help and support you during the separation process. Much of the positive work is done in between mediation sessions when your ‘positive support network’ play a crucial part.

The ‘Family Communication’ column After the 1st of April, when legal aid will only be available in exceptional circumstances, Family Mediation will very quickly become the main route to resolving family disputes so, in this column our expert will seek to answer some important questions on the subject put to him by you, the readers.

In future issues readers will be invited to ask our expert for his views about how to approach difficult family situations they have found themselves in.

Isn’t mediation about helping me get back together with my partner?

Very occasionally this is the outcome of mediation but the aim of mediation is to help two or more people sort out their differences and reach practical solutions without needing the court.

If my relationship has just broken down what is the point of going into mediation?

That rather depends on what you and your objectives. Many people want to save costs.

A typical court process to sort out the money issues for example costs about £30,000 and takes anything from 6 months to a year whereas a typical mediation with an experienced mediator would cost £1500-3000 over a 3 month period to reach agreement and typically another £500 for the lawyer to make this into a binding agreement.

I find it so difficult to talk to my former partner.

Infact, I hardly recognise him anymore and certainly do not trust him but we still have two young children. Can mediation help us?

Parents often tell me that although they no longer trust each other as husband and wife or partners they do recognise and acknowledge that they are each good parents and that the children need both of them working together. Working with a neutral mediator in the mediation process enables couples to focus on what is best for the children and come up with arrangements which work for them both in their circumstances. I find that with this recognition and commitment from the parents and careful preparation, around 80% of my mediations are successful.

If you have any more questions or concerns about mediation please email/text.....

John Hind Director, Compass Resolution john@compass-resolution.co.uk 07789 275907

www.familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

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Parenting Tips

10 best pieces of advice you’ve ever been given...

To celebrate Mothering Sunday, we’ve asked Families friends near and far to tell us the best pieces of advice they’ve been given when it comes to being a Mum. Take one a day as needed. Think of it as Families gift to you this Mothers’ Day! My mum passed away last year. She gave me a wonderful journal compiled full of photographs, memories, letters and advice. Under the section ‘important extras’ she wrote this: Make the most of now. It passes so quickly. Now when you are still your children’s world, now when they put that trusting small hand in yours, when they know you will keep them safe.

- Vicki Gilbert, Babies Can Sign Yorkshire Make the most of every opportunity to play with and listen to your children. Give them your full attention and show genuine interest. The time when they want to tell you everything is so short - before you know it they are teenagers and everything is a secret. You become the most embarrassing person on the planet!

- Helli Roberts, Families Head Office Happy mum = Happy kids. Simple!

- Allison Thomas, Editor Families Chiltern Nothing lasts forever. When you are in the middle of ‘that time’ it seems never ending. Maybe it’s sleepless night, teething, weaning, potty training, tantrums, sulks, illness – whatever. Just remember that the time will pass. But beware. The ‘thing’ waiting around the corner could be better or worse!

-Elizabeth Hawkhead, Rhythm Time Leeds Pick your battles. I think this is a piece of advice that gets more valuable the older my children get, although was given to me when my eldest was reaching the terrible twos. Then it was about nap times and refusing meals. Now it’s about what to wear to a party and homework. By picking your battles you let your children know that there are some things that aren’t up for debate. If you nag about everything, the important things get lost among the things that really don’t matter.

- Sarah Butters, Editor Families Leeds

Book Reviews Reviewed by Rosie Elphinstone

Love Bombing – Reset Your Child’s Emotional Thermostat

By Oliver James Published by Karnac Books, £9.99 Love Bombing is an interesting and innovative way of addressing a wide range of emotionally challenging behaviour with the aim of getting the parent-child relationship back on track. It is a very accessible self-help book. Oliver James starts by explaining what Love Bombing is and how and why it works. Each chapter looks at the types of behaviour that cause the relationship problems and then documents relevant case studies of Love Bombing being applied, the outcomes and longer term behavioural change. I found it both an intriguing and inspiring read and would recommend it to any parent seeking to improve their relationship with their child.

Families Rating: 5 out of 6

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★★★★★★

Send your tips and stories to us! email editor@familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk or visit www.facebook.com/FamiliesNDevEx

Have a bedtime that you stick to each night.Start winding down an hour before with TV, bath, story and milk so the children start to calm down and prepare for sleep. It works not only for children, but for parents too.

It means that on those long days, you can see light at the end of the tunnel and count the minutes down to bedtime when you can put your feet up and have a glass of wine!

- Katie Fraser-Smith, Richmond House

Take help when it is offered - even if you might not be able to repay the favour.

You will get the chance later to help someone else and a beautiful chain of helping hands will be created. I was given this advice when my son was born and both he and I had fairly bad time . I stoically carried on because I thought if someone did me a favour I would be expected to repay it and I did not have the energy. Another mum sat me down told me to take her help and from that was born a friendship of 10 years.

- Rachel Bentley, Editor Families Pennines Slow down. Don’t rush everywhere. Stop and appreciate the precious time that can be spent with our children. It might be walking at their pace and chatting, or allowing them to tie their own shoes without diving in first.

Time is precious, but time with your kids is even more precious.

- Vicki Hoarty, Editor Families Sussex Coast My eldest son was born without a left hand. After the initial shock had worn off, all I could think about was, how will he crawl, how will he develop, how will he cope? After meeting with a specialist surgeon he gave us the best advice ever – Don’t mollycoddle him. So from the earliest age, we encouraged him to get out there and have a “can do” attitude. It paid off – he was (and still is) a lot more capable physically than a lot of his peers, much to everyone’s amazement. So instead of being pitied, he found he was admired instead.

- Caryl Hall, Editor Families Cheshire I wish mummy and daddy would work longer hours and see me less so we could have more money and nicer things - No child. Ever.

Teaching Kids To Be Good People

By Annie Fox, M.Ed Published by Electric Eggplant, £9.95 Annie Fox evidently has lots of experience in helping young people and is passionate about her work. This comes across strongly in her book which I found to be an exceptionally good read. Her definition of a ‘good’ person comprises many qualities – allteachablerather thaninnate. Each section of the book is illustrated with real life scenarios, plenty of learning and self-evaluation opportunities, quizzes and empowerment tools. The book is full of insight, wisdom and sensible, practical advice. It would be easy for such a parenting guide to be condescending, but Annie writes with such genuine warm-heartedness, humour and self-deprecating humility that she takes you with her all the way. Highly recommended.

Families Rating: 5 out of 6

www.familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

★★★★★★

What’s On

Theatre & Shows LANDMARK THEATRE

Ilfracombe www.northdevontheatres.org.uk

The Owl who was Afraid of the Dark Wednesday 13th March, 10:30 & Thursday 14th March, 10:30 & 13:00 Join Plop, the baby barn owl as he journeys into the night-time world of campfires, fireworks and moonlit adventures. Come fly with us, it’s going to be a hoot! Writtem especially for small people aged 3-7 and grown-ups who still sleep with the lights on. All seats £8.00

The Sagas of Noggin the Nog

Friday 12th April 14:30 Accompanied by the brave and mighty ThorNogson and the great green bird Graculus, Noggin ventures north on his journey to battle against the fearsome Ice Dragon and his wicked uncle, Nogbad the Bad! Pure enjoyment for all the family...

All seats £11.00 NDT members/ supporters £6.00 Young Person £6.00

QUEEN’S THEATRE

Barnstaple www.northdevontheatres.org.uk

Shakespeare4Kidz - The Tempest

Wednesday 13th March, 10:30 & 13.30 A storm! A shipwreck! An enchanted island! All under the magical spell of one man – Prospero, the former Duke of Milan. A mystical, magical, mysterious, musical romantic comedy of revenge, a father’s love for his daughter and the misuse of power... All seats £18.00 Young Person £11.00 Access £11.00

Sing-a-long Grease

Friday 22nd March,19:30 Sit back and watch Danny & Sandy and the gang, while singing and dancing along to the lyrics as shown on the screen. It couldn’t be easier ... or more fun!... All seats £16.00 NDT members/supporters £15.00

Guiness World Records: Officially Amazing Science Live

®

Thursday 4th April,19:00 A brand new show which explores the best, the worst, the weirdest and the unbreakable world records ever attempted and the extraordinary talents in each and every one of us... All seats £17.00 Young Person £15.00 Family £55.00;

New on

familiesonline.co.uk Popular articles online: Easter: Easter Cooking www.familiesonline.co.uk/cook4easter Tips for an eco-friendly Easter www.familiesonline.co.uk/ecoeaster

Best Friends Forever The Ultimate Kidz Pop Party

Monday 8th April, 14:30 Join us for an amazing celebration of the biggest and coolest young music stars of our time... This totally awesome show is the must see event for every kid in town!

Join us for an amazing celebration of the biggest and coolest young music stars of our time, featuring the world’s number one Justin Bieber impersonator with ‘special guests’ Katy Perry & Jessie J, and brilliantly supported by the award winning BFF Dance Crew. All seats £13.50

Shaolin Warriors

Friday 12th April, 19:45 The internationally acclaimed Shaolin Warriors return to the UK with a brand new show, “Return of the Master” ... This is a fully choreographed spectacular production that features 22 professionally trained Kungfu Masters; audiences will be amazed and thrilled by their death defying Kung Fu disciplines such as qigong, animal imitation boxing, drunken boxing, and fighting with over 20 kinds of dangerous traditional weapons. All seats £24.00 NDT members/supporters £22.00 Student £16.50 Young Person £15.50

EXETER NORTHCOTT www.exeternorthcott.co.uk

Unmythable

Saturday 30th March, 15:00 & 19:00 All the greatest Greek myths in just one hour - get ready for the journey of a lifetime. Set sail with Jason and the Argonauts as he takes on his greatest mission: the quest to bring back the Golden Fleece.

Along the way they narrate, sing and clown their way through all the Greek myths you’ve ever heard of, and some you never knew existed.

Tickets: £12.50 Family ticket: £30 for 3 + up to 3 more £10 each.

Student Standby: £8 Age: 8yrs+

Michaela Strachan’s Really Wid Adventures

Monday 1st April, 13:30 Adapted from her own book of children’s poetry, popular TV presenter Michaela Strachan will take families on a delightful journey through an alphabet jungle of animal rhymes. Michaela will be signing copies of her book after the show. www.michaelastrachan.co.uk Tickets: £12 Family Ticket: £33 for 3 + up to 3 more £11 each. Age: 3-8yrs

Health: Concern with child’s speech development www.familiesonline.co.uk/speechdevel opment Nutrition to beat stress www.familiesonline.co.uk/stressless Education: Why every child should learn a foreign language www.familiesonline.co.uk/languages

Pitc h fromes £9

“

We left feeling a part of the family

”

Hidden Valley Quality family holidays Hidden Valley Park, West Down, Nr. Ilfracombe, North Devon EX34 8NU info@hiddenvalleypark.com

• Luxury 5 star facilities • Woodland walks & dog exercise areas • 4 miles from Woolacombe Beach • Wi-Fi across the park

50

50

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• Children’s play areas • Coffee shop

01271 813 837

www.hiddenvalleypark.com

www.familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

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What’s On

Out & About MUSEUMS

BARNSTAPLE & NORTH DEVON MUSEUM Strange Neighbours The beauty and fascination of Devon’s insects

Saturday 9th March to Saturday 20th April, 10:00 - 17:00 An exhibition by outstanding wildlife photographers. Insects are all around us, and influence all our lives. Recognizably animals, but disconcertingly different from the animals we know best, their alien appearance can evoke mistrust, even revulsion – yet many are strikingly beautiful at close quarters, and their adaptations and special qualities are entirely fascinating.

Free, suitable for all ages.

RAMM

Exeter www.rammuseum.org.uk

Ice Age Beasts

RAMM spill the beans on Ice Age beasts in this fun activity session for families. Make mammoths and touch real Ice Age fossils and archaeology. Free drop-in

ATTRACTIONS

Saturday 16th March, 10:30 16:00 Celebrate literature and art with a day of live storytelling, poetry, folklore and talks. A display will show books by Devon authors and literature set in Devon, including illustrations, fine bindings and pop-up books. Bring a camera and take part in activities for all ages including mosaic-making. Free drop-in.

Sunday 10th March 2013 11:00 - 16:00 Join us for an exclusive preopening event. Book in to a tour at the house or carriage museum, focussing on all things to do with mother’s from costume to carriages.

Then indulge in either a tasty lunch or special afternoon tea to celebrate as a family and thank Mum for all her hard work. You can also stroll round the gardens and see the spring flowers emerging.

Booking Essential 01271 850296

Day of Literature and Art

www.devonmuseums.net/ barnstaple

Saturday 9th March, 10:30 - 12:30 and 13:30 - 15:30 Mammoths, hippopotamuses and sabre-toothed cats in Devon? It must be the Ice Age. Experts from

Storytelling evening: Telling our Stories, Finding our Roots

Saturday 16th March, 19:30 to 21:30 An evening of traditional tales from oral cultures around the world, true stories of moving to Exeter and living here, as well as secrets uncovered from Exeter’s past.

Tickets are available in person or by phone using a credit or debit card on 01392 265858 during opening hours. Free

choral

evensong sung by the kingsley

school chamber choir

St Margaret’s Church, Northam

On Sunday 10th March 2013, 4pm At the start of their tour to Exeter Cathedral, Wells Cathedral and Coventry Cathedral. www.kingsleyschoolbideford.co.uk T: 01237 426200

Outstanding achievements, outstanding individuals.

We have taken every care in preparing the listings in this magazine but sometimes events are cancelled or times change, so please double check details before setting out.

NT ARLINGTON COURT

www.nationaltrust.org.uk/arlington

A Mother’s Day treat

© Flickr/Big D2112

Easter fun trail

Friday 29th March - Sunday 14th April, 10:30 - 16:00 Take part in our Easter trail with a difference. Follow the clues to find locations of Easter inspired jokes.

Collect all the correct answers, then come up with your own joke to make us laugh and claim your chocolate prize. Booking Not Needed. Normal Admission Charges Apply. Dogs on leads welcome. Easter Egg Trails, supported by Cadbury. £2.50 (per trail)

Crafting with recycled fabric

Saturday 30th March 11:00 - 16:00 Join Debbie Hastings for a drop-in workshop to learn the basics of rag rug making. You can also have a go yourself and take away a small sample or corsage. Dogs on leads welcome. A small charge may apply to make a corsage. Some of the rooms are inaccessible to wheelchair users. Free event (normal admission charges apply)

Spring lamb talks

Wild Wednesday

Wednesday 3rd & 10th April, 11:00 - 16:00 Go wild with our Ranger team and discover the outdoors. Try your hand at den building, or searching for bugs. Lots to keep even the most adventurous explorers entertained. Normal Admission Charges Apply. Wear warm, waterproof clothing as this event takes place outside. Dogs on leads welcome. Activities may change on the day according to the weather.

Child £1

Arlington Characters Come to Life

Saturday 13th April 11:30 15:00 Come to meet a cast of characters from 1883, who lived and worked on the Arlington Estate. From gamekeeper to coachman they all have an interesting story to tell. Join a tour to meet several characters, timings will be advertised on site.

Normal Admission Charges Apply.

Suitable for Groups. Dogs on leads welcome. Not all suitable for wheelchairs, please telephone property for advice.

NT KILLERTON

www.nationaltrust.org.uk/killerton

Mothers Day

Sunday 10th March, 14:00 - 16:00 Spend a relaxing day at Killerton with your Mum. Find out about the mothers and children of the Acland family and the servants who looked after them on our Mother’s Day Trail around the House. Enjoy the seasonal colours in the and the tranquil setting of the garden in spring. Make a day of it and treat your mum with a home cooked lunch in the restaurant. £24.95 for 3 courses including coffee and petit fours. Booking essential 01392 881345.

Killerton Farmers’ & Local Produce Market Saturday 16th March & 20th April 10:30 - 14:30 Browse and enjoy the many food stalls in the Visitor Car Park selling lots of fresh, tempting, local produce. Free parking and free tasters. Dogs on leads welcome.

Disabled parking available next to the market stalls.

Tuesday 2nd April - Sunday 14th April, 15:00 - 15:30 Meet our new flock of spring lambs and enjoy a talk by an Arlington Ranger; find out more about rearing sheep and how they help our estate thrive. Dogs on leads welcome.

Suitable for all ages. Accessible for all. Free event (normal admission charges apply) © Flickr/Maurice Koop

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www.familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

What’s On

Easter egg trails

Thursday 28th March until Sunday 15th April, everyday 11:00 - 16:00 Follow our Easter egg trail around the garden and claim your chocolate prize. Sponsored by Cadbury. The £2 activity charge includes a chocolate egg. Don’t miss the Clyston Mill Easter egg trail on Easter Sunday and Monday, 12-5pm.

Easter eggstravaganza

Sunday 31st March, 12:00 - 12:30 & 15:00 - 15:30 Celebrate Easter with games, and Easter egg hunts. Enjoy this additional Easter celebration on Easter Sunday, have a go at egg and spoon races and Easter egg hunts in the park. Booking Not Needed. Normal Admission Charges Apply. In the park near the house.

Clyston Mill Easter egg trail

Sunday 31st March & Monday 1st April 2pm - 5pm A special Easter egg trail for children at our 200 year old working water mill. Booking Not Needed.

Normal Admission Charges Apply.

Easter Egg Trails, supported by Cadbury. All Tickets £2 (includes a chocolate prize)

follow the Easter Trail. Invigorate your body and mind by following the clues through the garden.

Solve the puzzle and collect your reward from the front entrance kiosk on your way out ! See our newly-hatched Easter chicks and ducklings in the Foyer too.

Wednesday 3rd April, 11:00 13:00 or 14:00 - 16:00 Drop in Craft workshop for families Normal Garden Admission “Let’s go fly a Kite .. “.but first come and using a multitude of clean colourful waste, with Mrs Recycle as she will show you how to make your own kite for flying “... way up high into the atmosphere !”

Eco Fair

Saturday 6th April, 10:00 - 16:00 Normal Garden Admission Following on from last year’s success, Rosemoor’s second Eco Fair is designed to help anyone wanting to adopt a greener lifestyle, no matter how much you think you know on the subject.

Mother’s Day Weekend & Spring Antiques Fair

Saturday 23rd - Sunday 24th March, 10:00 - 16:00 Normal Garden Admission Rosemoor’s Grow Your Own team of gardeners will provide you with tips and tricks for getting the best out of your fruit and vegetable garden this year. From preparing the soil, to planting and plant care, they will demonstrate how to maximise your growing efforts with guided walks through the walled Fruit & Vegetable Garden and practical demonstrations.

Easter Trail

Friday 29th March - Sunday 14th April, 10:00 - 16:00 Normal Garden Admission Come along to Rosemoor and

Rainbow Knitting Sessions for Families with Alison and Ann Murray Thursday 11th - Friday 12th April, 11:00, 12:00, 14:00 or 15:00 Timed tickets. Craft workshop for families. Normal Garden Admission Learn to knit and / or crochet with local knitting superstars Alison and Ann Murray. Already mastered the basics? Then come along and learn some new techniques and ways to knit using a rainbow of colours. All materials provided.

National Gardening Week

THE BIG SHEEP

www.thebigsheep.co.uk

The Colours of the Rainbow Workshop for Families - with Karen Hawkins

Monday 8th April, 11:00, 12:00, 14:00 or 15:00 Timed tickets. Craft workshop for families. Normal Garden Admission Learn how colour is made in different ways using light and paints. Get funky with foam colour tiles to make your very own mosaic rainbow. Please wear old clothes.

Rainbow Shades Discovery Walk for Families with Yvonne Colman Tuesday 9th Aprily, 11.30 or 14:00 Timed tickets. Normal Garden Admission. Join Yvonne for a bracing tramp around the Garden and see what you can pick up from fallen petals and leaves to stick on your shade cards and try to form

1st April A GIANT Easter bunny will be making a special appearance at the BIG Sheep family attraction on Good Friday 29th March and Bank Holiday Monday 1st April to enjoy a very special holiday breakfast before taking children on a magical Easter egg hunt around the family attraction.

Easter Eggravaganza Egg Hunt

Monday 15th - Sunday 21st April, 10:00 - 16:00 Normal Garden Admission Come and share in the RHS’s wealth of horticultural knowledge during National Gardening Week.

This year’s focus will be on wildflowers and meadows and Rosemoor‘s garden team will be on hand to answer questions and provide advice.

www.rhs.org.uk/rosemoor

Grow Your Own Weekend

the colours of the rainbow. Please wear old clothes and dress for the weather.

Rainbow Kites Workshop for Families - WOW Recreate with Mrs Recycle

RHS GARDEN ROSEMOOR

Saturday 9th & Sunday 10th March, 10:00 - 16:00 Normal Garden Admission Devon County Antiques Fairs organise another of their popular events here at Rosemoor with a number of carefully selected stall holders from across the South West and beyond, selling a wide variety of antiques and collectables to suit all tastes and pockets.

Out & About

Make and Bake for Mummy

Saturday 9th March If you’re looking for a personable gift with a difference for Mum this year, our cupcake gift workshop is perfect for you. Cupcakes have taken the sweet toothed bakery world by storm with their delicate icing, pretty decorations and delicious taste. A perfect gift for yummy mummies. Pre Booking essential

Mothers Day Lunch

Sunday 10th March Treat your mum to a special three course meal this Mother’s day.

Lunch will be served at 12:30pm.

Pre-Booking essential. Free Entry to the BIG Sheep for all Mums when accompanied by a full paying child.

A truly magical experience!

Enjoy a Family Breakfast with the Easter Bunny at The BIG Sheep Friday 29th March and Monday

www.familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

Friday 29th March - Sunday 14th April 2013 Join us for the BIGGEST Easter egg hunt in the South West. We will be choc-o-bloc with eggs for you to find and take home. Over 30,000 miniature choclate eggs will be hidden throughout the site. Find 3 miniature eggs and claim a BIG egg. (Please note - one BIG egg per child.)

BIG Sheep Grand National

Sat 6th April 2013 A highlight in our sheep race calendar. The 6 sheep and their jockeys have been in secret training for almost six months and the Sheepstakes promises to have all the pace, excitment and adrenaline rush watching the Grand National live!

ESCOT

www.escot-devon.co.uk

Mums are Best!

Sunday 10th March FREE ENTRY FOR MUMS when accompanied by child! Come and spend the day at Escot this mother’s day and enjoy free entry and free tea and cake or a cream tea in the Coach House Restaurant ...just for Mum’s, because everyone’s Mum is the best!

Escot Easter Egg Hunt

29 March - 10:00 to 14 April - 17:00 Come and take part in our Escot Easter Egg Hunt. Solve the clues and collect your chocolate reward for every successfully completed trail. Members £1 per entry. Nonmembers £1 per entry plus Escot entry fee applies.

Escot Great Golden Easter Egg Hunt 29 March - 10am to 01 April 2013 - 5pm Each Golden Easter Egg contains a very special prize, you could win a Mini-Ranger Day or a Really Wild Birthday Party, a year’s free Escot entry, lunch in the Coach House Restaurant and more. Just a few Golden Eggs are hidden each day.

So come along to Escot and see if you can find one! Members £1.

Non-members £1 plus Escot entry fee applies.

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Where the Easter bunny comes from and other Easter traditions • Easter was originally a pagan festival – the ancient Saxons celebrated spring with a party in honour of its goddess, Eastre.

• The date of Easter changes every year because of Roman emperor’s Constantine’s Easter rule, which stated that it should be celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox. This was because it was a day of maximum light (12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of moonlight).

• The Easter bunny also originated with the pagan festival of Eastre, as she was worshipped by the AngloSaxons through her earthly symbol, the rabbit.

• The first documented use of the bunny as a symbol of Easter appears in Germany in the 1500s, and it was the Germans who made the first edible Easter bunnies in the 1800s.

as springtime gifts before Easter was first celebrated by Christians.

• Some believe hot cross buns predate Christianity, as buns decorated with a cross were eaten by Saxons in honour of the goddess Eastre, with the cross symbolizing the four quarters of the moon.

• Medieval records note that eggs were often given as Easter gifts to servants by their masters.

• According to English folklore, buns can be kept for medicinal purposes – if you give a piece to someone ill, it will help them get better.

• Eggs are a symbol of rebirth in most cultures and had already been given

• Eggs are coloured brightly to symbolise the sunlight of spring.

• The most ornate Easter eggs are probably the jewelled and enamelled eggs that Fabergé was made for the Russian tsars.

Did you know?

• The first Cadbury’s Easter egg was made in 1875, in dark chocolate; milk chocolate didn’t arrive until 1905 with the launch of Dairy Milk.

• A new Guinness World Record for the most entrants in an egg hunt was set in London last Easter after 12,773 entrants took part in The Fabergé Big Egg Hunt.

• The charity event also broke another World Record when a giant chocolate egg created for the competition became the most expensive non-jewelled chocolate egg ever, selling at auction for £7000.

• Egg rolling, which symbolises the rolling away of the rock in front of Jesus’s tomb, was traditionally played with hardboiled eggs being rolled down a hill.

• About 10% of Britain’s annual spending on chocolate is on Easter eggs.

www.familiesnorthdevonexeter.co.uk

• The average time for children to start tucking into their first chocolate Easter egg is 11am on Easter Sunday, with 30% of children eating their chocolate egg instead of breakfast!