Families Solent East January/February Issue 62

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Issue 62

January/February 2016 www.familiessolenteast.co.uk

Coping with separation anxiety What to look for when choosing a Nursery

What’s On family activities and events PLUS Box Office guide

The essential local magazine for families with children aged 0 - 12

Families Solent East | January/February 2016 | 1

HETTY FEATHER DINOSAUR ZOO 27 - 31 January

16 - 20 February

SOMETHING FOR ALL THE FAMILY! cft.org.uk 01243 781312

Welcome from the

Editor Happy New Year and welcome to the first issue of Families Solent East for 2016! We hope you had a fantastic family Christmas break.

In this issue we have tips for parents when choosing a nursery, starting a new exercise regime and coping with separation anxiety. There are lots of great family shows at the theatre over the next couple of months, so don’t miss our special Box Office guide on page 15!

Best wishes, Mandy Earle | Editor

In this issue...

4 5 6 8 9 10 11 12 13

News & views Tips for choosing the right nursery Coping with separation anxiety New Nursery initiatives Featured clubs & classes Exercise tips for busy mums!

When baby makes 3 Box Office guide What’s on locally

Call us on 02393 117 561 25,000 copies delivered direct to parents & carers Covering Portsmouth, Fareham, Gosport, Waterlooville, Havant, Chichester, Midhurst, Petersfield & Isle of Wight

Tel: 02393 117 561 On the cover: Kester with thanks to Moira Lizzy Photography

07974 177445 moiralizzie.co.uk

Editor: Mandy Earle editor@familiessolenteast.co.uk

us Find e! onlin

Online Media Manager: Sharon Armstrong sharon@familiessolenteast.co.uk Sales enquiries: Claire.Clarricoates@ familiespublishing.co.uk

for even more local events, competitions and news! www.familiessolenteast.co.uk

Copyright: Families Solent East 2016.

We take care preparing this magazine but the publishers and distributors cannot be held responsible for the claims of the advertisers, nor for the accuracy of the contents nor for any consequence. Families Solent East is part of Families Magazines Ltd a franchise company.

All franchised magazines in the group are independently owned and operated under licence.

facebook.com/FSEmagazine twitter.com/FamiliesSolentE

Discovery starts here Please ask about our 2 Week Trial!

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They’ll love stepping into a new world and you’ll love the effect it has on their confidence and creativity.

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01489 666 323

Petersfield on Monday mornings Fishbourne on Tuesday mornings Farlington on Wednesday mornings Havant on Thursday mornings Contact us for class times or view on our website Email: chichester.petersfield@monkeymusic.co.uk

Families Solent East | January/February 2016 | 3

News & Views

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Nestled in the breath-taking New Forest, Sandy Balls Holiday Village is perfect for families looking for a relaxing break or action packed adventure in the beautiful surroundings. Set in a 120-acre estate, the awardwinning, five star holiday village offers accommodation to suit all budgets. The village is a safe, friendly haven offering an idyllic setting to explore the outdoors with amazing walks, bike trails and great onsite facilities including indoor and outdoor pools, activities programme featuring crafts, bug hunts and archery, entertainment, restaurant and pub.

his iss

Pledge to raise a grand for Sandy Balls Holiday Village Brain Tumour Research!

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Did you know that brain tumours kill more children and adults under the age of 40 than any other cancer? Yet brain tumour research receives just 1% of the national spend on cancer research.

When?

Open all year, there are opulent woodland lodges, cosy caravans, camping pods and fully-serviced touring pitches available for weekend, mid-week or a longer stays. There is still availability for Feb half term, but you will need to be quick!

The blood-brain barrier stops most standard cancer drugs from treating brain tumours, making them more Where? difficult to combat. Research into Sandy Balls, New Forest, Hampshire SP6 2JZ the blood-brain barrier is being led

by Professor Geoff Pilkington, lead 0844 249 1193 / www.sandyballs.co.uk scientist at one of Brain Tumour Research’s centres of excellence.

Professor Pilkington is an international expert on brain tumours and a pioneer in blood-brain barrier research, having created the world's first 'allhuman' blood-brain Get Hatty !! barrier model.

There

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me to register fo Brain Tumour r ‘Wear a d Hat ay’ to rais Research has e money fo r Brain also launched Tumour R esearch a t your the Grand school or work plac Challenge, a e Wear a H unique fundraising at Day 20 16 partnership with the Dr Hadwen Trust. The aim is to jointly raise £180,000 to fund a three year research project into the blood brain barrier.

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4 January/February 2016 | Families Solent East

07896 009651

What you need to know when choosing a nursery or playgroup Many mums return to work after their maternity leave finishes and choose to leave their baby in a nursery. Even if you are a stayat-home mum or dad, it’s likely that when your child is between the ages of two and three years old you will want her to start at a playgroup or nursery school – for both her benefit and yours.

But how do you choose the right nursery for your baby?

You can usually get a list of local nurseries and playgroups from your local council, from your health visitor, local library, GP surgery or on the internet.

Speak with other mums about the nursery or playgroup you are most interested in, and go along and spend a morning at each group, together with your child.

Gut instinct can be invaluable in these situations.

10 things to consider when choosing a nursery: 1. Are you and your child made to

feel welcome and introduced to the nursery staff, helpers and perhaps to other children? Are you allowed to stay and watch at a time to suit you – not them?

2. Check out the space itself. The room may be a bleak church hall but have the staff made it look lively and interesting?

3. Does the nursery seem too

crowded? Numbers are controlled by local authority regulations, and insurance policies, but some playgroups squeeze in extra children.

4. Is there somewhere for outdoors play on fine days? Are there books in a quiet corner where children can go and sit? Is there an interactive area, such as a nature table?

5. Check out the toys, equipment

encouraged to do quiet, creative activities or do they run about in gangs and spend a lot of time on sit-on cars and toys? Are girls encouraged to do physical play and large toy activities? Do boys and girls play together? Both boys and girls need physical, energetic play, construction play and quiet creative periods with adult attention.

and art materials on offer. Are the same toys put out in the same area every day? (this is why it’s a good idea to visit more than once on random, different days).

6. Are there varied activities on

offer, such as painting, sandpits, water play areas, Wendy house, play dough, building bricks, puzzles, a dressing up box? Are these accessible all the time?

Try to visit a group while a singing or story time session is going on.

Singing sessions should always be varied and fun with lots of action rhymes and percussion and have all the children enthusiastically joining in.

7. Do the children look excited and interested in the toys available?

8. Does the climbing equipment

look well-maintained and is there a soft landing area?

9. What about the staff? Are they

listening and talking to the children?

Are they calmly in control? Do they seem to be caring with the children?

Do they notice aggressive or painfully shy children and get them to join in constructively? Do they spend more time chatting with each other than with the children?

10. Talk to the staff to find out

their views on discipline, dealing with anxious children and free and structured play to see if their ideas are the same as yours.

The ideal atmosphere at a nursery group should be busy and buzzing, but never out of control. Noisy children racing around or charging up and down on bikes and cars shows a clear lack of organisation.

Another point to consider is whether boys and girls at the nursery are treated equally. Do boys get

Story time should also be something the children particularly enjoy. The story teller should be able to hold the children’s attention.

Story time should not be used as an opportunity for helpers to take the children to the toilet or tidy up.

If you like a particular nursery or playgroup, but feel they fall down in one or two areas, then speak with the supervisor. They may welcome your suggestions and be able to make changes to suit you and your child. If they don’t, then move on and find one that’s more in line with your requirements.

Emma’s Diary is the UK’s most trusted and influential pregnancy and baby channel. Working in partnership with The Royal College of General Practitioners (RCGP) for more than 23 years, they provide parents-to-be and new parents with the very best medical and practical information.

Visit www.emmasdiary.co.uk

Families Solent East | January/February 2016 | 5

How to help your child (and you) cope with being apart It can be very upsetting for a parent when their child screams and cries as they try to leave them with someone else, whether it is at a nursery, with a child minder or relative.

At what age does separation anxiety affect children?

Separation anxiety often starts at around the age of eight months and usually improves around the one year mark when children are starting to toddle around more actively and This distress at leaving a parent is have lots on their mind to keep them called separation anxiety and it is distracted and entertained. However, more extreme than just being clingy. the anxiety sometimes returns All babies, at some point or other at around the age of two, when in their development, are likely to children become more aware of their experience separation anxiety in own independence, the world around some format. It is very common and them and their feelings. completely normal. It can happen in phases (sometimes very short ones) and will not last forever. Babies have How to cope with separation anxiety to learn the ability to trust so when a parent 'disappears' if they haven’t A baby who has separation anxiety yet learned to trust, they take it as needs to be constantly and a fearful or threatening situation. convincingly reassured that your Child psychologists liken it to babies absence does not mean you have using their Stone Age instincts. Little gone forever. The only way to prove this is to leave her and come back ones don’t instinctively know they again. are safe at nursery school or with Aunty Jane. To them, when mum There is one school of thought that walks out of the door, they could playing the age-old game of peek-abe eaten by tigers! Of course we boo developed from a need to prove know their tears and tantrums are to babies that mum can disappear... misplaced, but that’s not to say that and come back again. One thing is it isn’t a difficult thing for a parent for sure; parents can’t give up their to witness and cope with. plans or skip going to work because of their child’s tears. Separation is Nobody wants to think that their something children have to learn child is panicking and upset when to cope with. It’s all part of their they are being left with someone emotional journey. different or somewhere new.

There are some practical things you can do to help if your child is showing signs of separation anxiety: Your baby may be comforted by a soft toy or blanket which they associate with you Try to time your leaving spells when your baby is awake and alert.

If she is tired, hungry or grouchy then her tears could get out of hand Practice leaving your child for short spells (15 minutes at a time to start with) with a friend or relative Try to leave your baby with only a small number of regular people and keep her surroundings as familiar as possible If you know in advance which child minder you will be using, invite her over a couple of times to meet your baby with you around or if your baby will be going to a nursery, pay a few short visits there with her before she starts there Have a 'bye bye' routine so saying or waving bye bye to you is a fun thing Never sneak away when she is not looking Always reassure her you will be returning If she is old enough to understand explain you will return after her nap or after her teatime.

Give her a time frame to recognise.

BUT only if you are sure you can stick to it!

When you’ve said goodbye, GO. Don’t nip back or lurk around watching her unless you are absolutely certain you won’t be spotted.

Emma’s Diary is the UK’s most trusted and influential pregnancy and baby channel. Working in partnership with The Royal College of General Practitioners (RCGP) for more than 23 years, they provide parents-to-be and new parents with the very best medical and practical information.

Visit www.emmasdiary.co.uk

6 January/February 2016 | Families Solent East

‘Ex

ce pend llent’ in ent Scho all ca t oIs I nspe egorie s ctor ate 201 5

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Portsmouth High Junior School

An independent school for girls promoting curiosity and creativity for enquiring young minds Part of the Girls’ Day School Trust network of schools

“Full Marks for Pastoral Care”

Stay and... Explore Mother and Toddler group which meets to explore the great outdoors every Tuesday in term time from 10.30am to 11.30am.

Good Schools Guide

“A First-Rate Education” ISI 2014

Entry into Reception Class Join us for Activities Morning on Saturday 6 February 2016 for assessment for entry into our Reception Class in September 2016. Booking essential.

Brookham Open Morning

Friday 5th February 9.30am – 11.30am

For more information on these activities visit the events page at www.portsmouthhigh.co.uk

Highfield Open Morning Saturday 6th February 9.30am – 12noon

For more information please call 01428 728000 or visit our website

023 9282 6714

admissions@por.gdst.net ADVERTISEMENT PROOF

www.highfieldschool.org.uk

| Liphook, Hampshire GU30 7LQ

Please find below a proof of your advertisement for the September/October 2014 issue (No. 74) of Families TVE. 1 Families Final.indd

Thames Valley East

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Every Child is precious and their early years are treasured.

As a Please ALL INFORMATION IS CORRECT le GemCHECK caring team of staff we will strive to create exciting opportunities itt to ignite your child’s imagination, encourage their inquisitive especially dates, telephone numbers and addresses. nature and nurture their individuality.

We are a small, well established setting specialising in caring for

children from 2 to 5 years. Our opening hours are term time Any changes need to be made at this stage.

9am-3pm and can offer flexible sessions or full day care.

Any further amendments will be charged for.

You are very welcome to pop in for a visit or call us to see how Pre-School Where Children Sparkle

your child could sparkle at Little Gems.

Please contact us by return either to amend or approve your We are at: advertisement.

West End Youth House Moorgreen Recreation Ground Moorgreen Road West End SO30 3EG T: 023 8047 1070

New Pre-School at Wickham The Wickham Centre Mill Lane Wickham PO17 5AL T: 01489 557 215

Fryern Infant School Oakmount Road Chandlers Ford SO53 2LN T: 023 8026 8480

01/12/2015 13:03:52

T: 01628 627586 E: editor@familiestveast.co.uk 50 All Saints Avenue, Maidenhead, Berkshire, SL6 6NA

NATURE & NURTURE Fiveways - for girls and boys aged 3 to 7 New outdoor woodland learning area Safe and secure nurturing environment Happy and confident children with a love of learning

If your school or nursery would like FREE copies of Families Magazine just call us on

02393 117561

NEXT OPEN DAY: SATURDAY 6 FEBRUARY 2016

FOR MORE INFORMATION Call +44 (0)1983 617970 or visit www.rydeschool.org.uk

An Island School with a Global Outlook

Families Solent East | January/February 2016 | 7

Education News

New Nursery

Initiatives

Parents can be confident that their child will be as well looked after at nursery as they can at home thanks to a couple of new initiatives.

In the Spring, the Government introduced Millie’s Mark, a scheme which means that every nursery will have firstaid trained staff in the nursery at all times.

Following the death of Millie Thomson who choked and died at her nursery in 2012, her parents Joanne and Dan have successfully campaigned government to ensure that all newly qualified staff with the childcare level 2 and 3 qualification will automatically have training in emergency paediatric first aid or a full paediatric first aid certificate.

Nurseries that reach a ‘gold standard’ of care will receive a certificate to display, known as Millie’s Mark. This will give parents reassurance that their child is being cared for by a range of trained professionals should something go wrong.

In addition, a report by the Early Years Foundation has revealed that more and more children are achieving a good level of development when they enter infant school, thanks to the care and skills they learn at Nursery. They say the gap between girls and boys is getting narrower and also that the gap between disadvantaged children and their peer group is narrowing, though not by as much as would be desirable.

Chief executive of the National Day Nursery Association, Purnima Tanuku OBE, said: “These latest results show the great work that our sector is achieving, despite all the challenges they are facing with regards to funding shortfalls and difficulties with recruitment.

“The gap between the least and most advantaged children is slowly narrowing, more needs to be done to improve this situation. These results show the importance of sufficient funding for nursery places for eligible two-year-olds, which must be of high quality to make a difference to their life chances.

“With the impending doubling of funded childcare hours for three and four-year-olds, this documented progress must not be stalled by limits on funding reducing the quality of the early years education being received in private, voluntary and independent nurseries.”

Little Gems Wickham opens!

This brand new exclusive pre-school completes the trio of Little Gems owned by Gemma Akins, which have been successfully running in Southampton for 21 years.

Wickham offers 18 places for children from 2 years, and is led by Sian Gale, an experienced Early Years Teacher.

Children have free classes in Bilinguasing and Globe Fit.

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s

le Gem itt

Little Gems has been thoughtfully designed and is conveniently located in The Wickham COMING SOON Centre next to Wickham primary school and TO WICKHAM surgery.

JANUARY 2016

Pre-School Where Children Sparkle

Your childsmall will sparkle at Little Gems! There is A new 18 place aexclusive 20% offer for the first 10 children this term.

Forpre-school more information contact Gemma on 01489 557215.

For children aged from 2 years to rising 5's.

Fully refurbished room and facilities.

8 January/February 2016our | Families Led by an Early Years Professional staff will create exciting opportunities to ignite your child's

Solent East

Reception Class entry at Portsmouth High School Set in the heart of Southsea in large gardens, Portsmouth High Junior School provides an ideal start for your daughter offering an innovative and challenging curriculum to ensure she reaches her full potential and is well prepared for Senior School.

Applications are now being taken for entry into our Reception Class in 2016. Join us on Saturday 6 February from 10am to 12pm for a carousel of assessment activities for entry.

For more information, visit www.portsmouthhigh. co.uk/events To book a place please telephone our Admissions Registrar on 023 9282 6714 or e-mail admissions@por.gdst.net We look forward to welcoming you and your daughter.

Security and first class facilities at Brookham School Brookham nursery provides a warm, secure and stimulating environment where children can play happily and develop and learn at their own pace. The nursery is part of Brookham Pre-Prep School and as such children quickly feel part of the school, meaning the transition into Reception is a natural and easy progression. The nursery benefits from access to the school’s resources and first class facilities with children enjoying weekly swimming, music and Spanish lessons, as well as sessions at Forest School in Brookham Woods.

Brookham School, Highfield Lane, Liphook, Hampshire GU30 7LQ Tel: 01428 722005 email: office@brookhamschool.co.uk www.highfieldandbrookham.co.uk

Exciting times for Ryde School The Junior School started the Autumn Term under the helm of new Head Mrs Linda Dennis.

Previously Deputy Head at St Faith’s School, Cambridge and an experienced ISI Inspector, Mrs Dennis succeeded Mr Howard Edwards, following his retirement in the summer. ‘‘I am very excited about the move and feel honoured to have been asked to take on the position. Like all good schools I have found a warm and caring community with dedicated teachers and pupils who have a real desire to learn.

Already this term a new Outdoor Learning centre has been opened in the School grounds for Fiveways and Junior School pupils and a continuous programme of curriculum review and enhancement, as always, is underway. Spanish, Latin and Mandarin were introduced recently and continue to prove popular with pupils and parents and we have just started a number of new clubs and activities to expand our pupils’ learning.

I am very much looking forward to the years ahead and helping guide pupils to meet their future potential’’

Featured Clubs & Classes Listing some of our best local children’s clubs and classes. For a more comprehensive listing visit our online Local Directory at www.familiessolenteast.co.uk From little to mega kicks classes with Little Kickers

Award winning music classes for young children

With four different football classes tailored to different age groups Little Kickers offers a fun, pressure free environment to enjoy classes with an educational feel.

Coached in the right way can stimulate imagination and aid early development skills such as learning colours and numbers, following instructions and playing as a team.

Hooray! Monkey Music has arrived. Award winning music classes for children 3 months – 4 years in Petersfield, Havant, Farlington and Fishbourne. Sessions are fun and educational and every class is grouped according to age.

They include sensory and stimulating visual experiences for babies, and movement, language and independence for pre-schoolers. Music is gently introduced to children in a way they can understand, enjoy and participate in at each stage in their development, ensuring that they are enjoying themselves whilst learning.

To book your FREE complimentary session or for more information chichester.petersfield@monkeymusic.co.uk

Tel: 07896 009651 / gdarling@littlekickers.co.uk

Start your Football Career at Goals Start your Football Career with Goals and the Soccer Scholar Academy every Saturday and school holiday at Goals Portsmouth. With FA/Uefa coaches, a travel team programme, and professional exit routes available.

Friday Night Junior leagues also available. Ages 2 - 5 play Saturdays at 10:30 - 11:15am and ages 5 – 11 on Saturdays at 10am -12pm.

Tel: 02380 180200 / Tangier Road, Portsmouth, PO3 6QA

Drama, Dance and Singing for ages 4 - 7 Perform’s drama, dance and singing weekly workshops are a fun-packed mix of confidence-building games, energetic dances and catchy songs exclusively for 4-7 year olds.

From January to April 2016, Perform children will unearth their hidden superhero powers as they go on a top secret mission to save the world.

They will rock with Rocket Girl, sing along with brainy Brainio, but will they make it to Partyland in time to restore order? Guaranteed to be the best fun that your child has all week!

Tel: 02394 000226 / www.monkeymusic.co.uk/area/Chichester

Hampshire’s most Accredited Swim School Rusalka Swim School is an independent, private swimming school offering the finest levels of swimming tuition to babies and children throughout southern Hampshire.

They often teach nervous adults too! Operating from their own two superb, modern, warm, indoor swimming pool complexes in Horndean, they are the only swimming school in mainland Hampshire to be awarded ASA ‘Aquamark’ Centre of Excellence status in 2010. The school’s owner, Yulia Parker, was also voted the UK’s Swimming Teacher of the Year 2007 / 2008 and in 2011 they were voted one of the top three swim schools in the UK! Place your trust in Rusalka - Hampshire’s most accredited Swim School. Regular classes from babies to adult in Horndean – call for times and details.

Tel: 02392 594449 / www.rusalkaswim.com

Classes in the local area: CHICHESTER: Mondays - St Michael’s Hall, Summersdale Road.

FAREHAM: Tuesdays - Titchfield Community Centre, Mill Street.

020 7255 9120

Stage Coach Theatre Arts

Learning from inspirational, security checked teachers who are dancers, choreographers, singers or actors themselves inspires children to strive to reach their individual limit, they will enjoy themselves and gain confidence to deal with all that life brings.

Try Stage Coach for a couple of weeks with no obligation, there is no audition to get in, just enthusiasm needed.

Classes in the local area: FAREHAM: Saturdays - Gull Coppice, Whiteley / 023 8046 5006 HAVANT: Fri / Sat - Stakes Hill Road, Waterlooville / 0845 521 3730

Families Solent East | January/February 2016 | 9

New Year New You? How to start a new exercise regime when you’re a busy mum

By Sally J. Hall

It seems as soon as Christmas Day is over, two types of advertisement start to appear on the television; the first are for holidays for the following summer, showing gorgeous people in tiny bikinis and trunks, cavorting across golden sands. The others – yes, you’ve guessed it. Weight loss.

It’s no surprise that the fitness industry targets us just as we throw ourselves, groaning with overeating, onto the sofa for a few hours of feelgood films. Their research shows that most people start a new exercise regime in January, with a huge boost in gym memberships around that time.

There is something motivational in having a whole new year to look ahead to and many of us start off with great new resolutions – even if they fall by the wayside by March.

Add to this the complication of being a busy mum – and when, for goodness sake, are you going to find the time for a new fitness regime to shift those few pounds you put on over the winter or to get the baby weight off?

Don’t despair, we have a few great ideas.

Preparation is key

Before you start any kind of exercise routine, check with your doctor (or midwife if you’re pregnant) that it’s OK. If you’ve recently given birth, wait until after your six week checkup. If you had a C-section or other complications, you might want to wait a while longer. Always start with stretches to warm your muscles and don’t overdo anything. If you start to hurt, it’s your body’s way of telling you to stop. Start with a small, short routine and gradually increase the time you spend and the intensity of your work-out.

Let’s swap

Chances are your nearest and dearest may also be feeling the belt pinch. So talk through your desires for a little time to yourself to get a little fitter and suggest you swap.

He has the kids while you go to the gym, for a swim, for a long walk in the woods – whichever you feel you like the most. Then do the same for him another day. If you’re single, could you and a friend swap exercise times?

Do what you like

It may sound obvious but choose an activity you actually enjoy. If you join a spinning class, can’t keep up, end up red in the face and aching all over and dread going back, it’s not the right exercise for you. Try out a few different classes – everything from kick boxing to zumba is available these days, in gyms and church halls – and then pick the one you like the most. If you have joined a gym, you might find it works better to do a different thing each time. Try to include something that gets your heart racing, something stretchy and something that involves weights.

Kids come too

Can’t palm the kids off onto a relative? Want to get a few more steps done this week? Take the kids with you. Go to a local park with scooters and bikes and baby in a pushchair and walk around the outside of the park, encouraging the kids to race you. Not only will you all get an oxygen boost, they will sleep really well that night!

Using baby

If you are stuck at home quite a lot with a very young baby and don’t yet feel ready for the communal changing rooms, try some exercises

10 January/February 2016 | Families Solent East

at home. There are quite a few postnatal exercise DVDs now that start you off gently and most importantly, know how to support and strengthen your body as it returns to your prepregnancy shape. Pop in the DVD, do a few exercises and have your baby on a play mat next to you so that you’re still close. You can even use your baby to strengthen your arms by lifting her over and over – and she’ll love it too!

Quick bursts

The time when your baby naps can be great for a quick burst – one of the hottest new fitness trends right now. Do push-ups against the wall or on your knees, use small weights to tighten arms (tins of beans work just as well), do squats and a few yoga poses for flexibility and strength in your core.

Three of the best postbaby fitness DVDs Pregnancy Health Yoga with Tara Lee - £14.99 A very comprehensive DVD that offers a choice of eight workout routines all suitable for pregnancy.

My Pre & Post Natal Workouts Davina McCall - £34.99 You name the reason for exercise, Davina has made a DVD for it. But she really does know quite a bit about fitness during pregnancy and afterwards.

Post Natal Pilates - Caroline Sandry £9.99 Pilates is a very powerful form of exercise that gives you great strength in your core, abdominal muscles and also has the muscle lengthening effects of yoga.

XXXXXXX

When baby makes three As a couple you are looking forward to the arrival of the new baby and you have never felt as close as you do now contemplating future life as a real family. But what many couples don’t realise is quite how much their lives can be turned upside down by this pint-sized new arrival...

Your mewling ‘bundle of joy’ is now calling all the shots demanding to be fed, winded, bathed, cuddled and entertained and your time is no longer your own. As a couple you promised yourselves that having a baby wouldn’t change your lifestyle but, however organised and efficient you have always been, you are now sailing in uncharted territory and at times you probably feel rudderless.

Both you and your partner adore the baby and are keen to be the best possible parents and that is where you focus all your energies.

But, as Denise Knowles of Relate advises, in the excitement and exhaustion of life as new parents, you must also carve out time for your other half and nurture your own relationship as a couple.

Denise suggests: “Sometimes a mum or dad can feel neglected or pushed out. Generally, new dads want to be involved much more than we really appreciate, or sometimes mums feel they have to do it all.”

The pressure to be the perfect parent, combined with sleep deprivation, and possibly growing resentment by a mother who feels she is carrying most of the weight, or a dad who feels he is being pushed out, can put a strain on many relationships. Denise warns that unless couples work through any issues arising from the new family dynamic, cracks can start appearing in their relationship reaching a crisis point eighteen months or two years down the road.

According to Denise, who has counselled many couples at Relate, communication and staying in touch (literally as well as figuratively) with your other half is key to keeping the spark alive in your relationship

and working through the inevitable teething problems of being a new family.

As a new mum, tired, busy, possibly having returned to work, short of time and money, the idea that not only do you have to look after your “One of the things I want to say is baby but that your adult partner also ‘don’t lose touch with one another’. needs your attention could be like Even if you don’t have a great deal red rag to a bull. That’s certainly how of time, spend some time together.

I felt as a new mum when a relative Don’t feel guilty about postponing dared to suggest the washing, “Sometimes a mum or dad can I needed to give ironing or cleaning feel neglected or pushed out. more time to my to create time for Generally, new dads want to be partner. But, before being a couple.” you have a rant involved much more than we “Take time to at the unfairness really appreciate, or sometimes hug or cuddle of being burdened mums feel they have to do it all.” one another; with yet another and think about responsibility when giving your partner a gift on a daily you are feeling overwhelmed, pause basis. I’m not talking about going for a minute. out and buying a present – just For a start this cuts both ways, something simple like paying them parents need to look after one a compliment, or noticing that another as well as looking after the they are tired and offering to make baby – there is balance here and them a cup of tea. Have a date shared responsibility. night (even if you stay in). You can light some candles and phone for a takeaway so no one is stressed with cooking and washing up.

Denise adds: “It is important to be able to develop trusted support networks so that you can leave the baby even if it is only to pop out together for an hour for a walk. It doesn’t cost you money but it gives you the space and privacy to really talk to one another. Don’t always talk about the baby. Remember that you are a person in your own right and don’t forget your own dreams and aspirations.”

Denise recommends that as well as finding couples time, the most contented parents also find ways of allowing each other some space for individual interests and time to maintain their own friendships. “To be a good parent you need to be true to yourself,” she says.

So if, ideally, you would like to grow old with your other half it is worth breaking through the fog that accompanies new parenthood and thinking about how to improve your chances of celebrating a golden anniversary. Don’t lose sight of your relationship and stay in touch with your feelings for one another. It might seem like an eternity away, but your babies will soon fly the nest while your partner can still be there for you.

If you are having problems in a relationship you can approach Relate for counselling. They offer online counselling and support as well as seeing couples or individuals. You can get relationship support as an individual even if your partner does not want to attend counselling.

For more information see www.relate.org.uk

Families Solent East | January/February 2016 | 11

Box Office Chichester Festival Theatre Oaklands Park, PO19 6AP Tel: 01243 781 312 8 - 10 January

Moscow City Ballet: The Sleeping Beauty

Moscow City Ballet present two classic productions featuring Tchaikovsky’s beautiful scores. With opulent costumes, enchanting characters and sparkling dances, the tale of Sleeping Beauty is one of the most beloved of the classical ballet repertoire, the evergreen tale of the love of a handsome prince and beautiful princess. Fri 8th 7.30pm, Sat 9th 2.30pm and 7.30pm, Sun 10th 3.00pm and 2pm. / Price: from £14.

27 - 31 January Hetty Feather

From best-selling author Jacqueline Wilson, the tale of plucky Hetty Feather is brought thrillingly to life on stage in this Olivier Award-nominated production. Enjoying a sold-out run in the West End, delighting critics and audiences with its beautiful storytelling, original songs and live music, circus skills and a huge heart, Hetty Feather is a terrific adventure story and the perfect treat for the whole family. 8 performances over 5 days, check website for times at cft.org.uk / Prices from £10.

16 - 20 February

Dinosaur Zoo February Half-Term Show

Now introducing the Tyrannosaurus Rex to the stage, Dinosaur Zoo brings these awesome prehistoric creatures to life as you’ve never seen them before. From cute baby dinos to teeth-gnashing giants, marvel and interact with extraordinary life-like dinosaurs in this imaginative and hilarious live show. / Price: from £12.50.

New Theatre Royal Portsmouth, PO1 2DD Tel: 02392 843 979 9 January

The Town Mouse and The Country Mouse

Pied Piper Theatre Company presents an enchanting and heart-warming telling of Aesop’s classic fable. Packed full of fun, music and song. For children aged 3 - 8 years of age. 2:30pm - 3:20pm / £8.

29 January

Junior Dance Off 2016

The Junior Dance Off is the only street dance event for schools of its kind. Portsmouth schools are invited to showcase their street dance talents. 6:30pm - 8:30pm. / £5 or book a family ticket for £15.

14 February

Egg and Spoon Theatre Show

UK-based children’s theatre company, Lyngo presents its first special theatre show for the early years! Egg and Spoon is an interactive romp through the seasons where you come in and out of our magic circle and get to open all the gifts of nature. 1:30pm - 2:10pm / £5.

18 February

The Legend of King Arthur

Oddsocks Productions are bringing to life “The Legend of King Arthur”! Prepare for magic, music and mirth as the ‘boy who would be king’ pulls the sword from the stone. 7.30pm / £16.

27 February

Marvellous Imaginary Menagerie Show

Roll up; roll up, for the most magnifical, tremendible and fantasticulous experience in town! The caravan of curiosities and its crew of mysterious misfits have arrived to entertain, amuse and beguile you. Are you brave enough to get onboard? Saturday 27th February 2016 at 2.30pm. 2.30pm. / £10.

Kings Theatre - Southsea PO5 2QJ, Tel: 023 9282 8282 19 - 23 January

Gangsta Granny Live on Stage

It’s Friday night and Ben knows that means only one thing – staying with Granny! From the acclaimed producers of HORRIBLE HISTORIES comes the world premiere of this amazing story by David Walliams, the UK’s best-selling author for children.

Ferneham Hall - Fareham, PO16 7DB. Tel: 01329 824864 30 January

The Jewels of Duckula Stage Show

Family friendly children’s TV Classic Count Duckula Live on Stage for the very first time!

11am / £10, £9 under 16’s, £32 Family of 4.

The Spring - Havant, PO9 1BS. Tel: 023 9247 2700 20 February

My Pet Monster and Me

Sophie Bucket lives on a farm with her Dad. She spends all of her time daydreaming, but most of her time alone. If only she had a little friend to share her adventures. One day, Sophie finds an egg. She keeps it warm, and out pops a cuddly, toothy, burpy, baby MONSTER! And this is when the fun begins...

For children aged 3-7 years of age. 11.30 and 2.30pm / Tickets: £8 Family of four £28.

12 January/February 2016 | Families Solent East

HettyFeather at Chichester Festival Theatre

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What’s On The best of the rest!

Your guide to family events this January & February

Although we aim to be as accurate as possible, the events listed in our What’s On section are compiled several weeks beforehand and may be subject to change.

Please contact venues in advance to check full details.

16 January

Winnie the Pooh Day Storytime Special

Gosport Discovery Centre, High Street PO12 1BT

“Poor Mouse! A bear has settled in his favourite chair and that chair just isn’t big enough for two”. Find out what happens next, make your very own Tigger and take part in a bear hunt!

Suitable for children aged 3 - 10, who must be accompanied by an adult. FREE - No need to book but places are limited. 11am – 12pm.

18 January

Teddy Bears’ Picnic

Gosport Discovery Centre, High Street, PO12 1BT Picnic for the under 5’s. Help us celebrate Winnie the Pooh Day by having a teddy bears’ picnic with us. Bring along your favourite bear and your lunch.

FREE! Just come along. 12pm.

20 January

I Can Be an Artist

Gallery @ Gosport Discovery Centre, Walpole Road, PO12 1NS 2 - 2.45pm. A Galleries for Beginners workshop for under 5s with parents or carers. Create your own art work and enjoy some hands-on fun and a story.

Just turn up, no need to book.

Free with £1 donation.

21 January

Pre-School Cookery School Emsworth Cookery School, Emsworth, PO10 7UD 01243 371407 / 07733 262126

Start the New Year with vegetable pies, the cooks will choose from a selection of vegetables (and get the chance

Spot the dot for fr ee events! to try them before they say “No”!) and mash their choice of vegetables to top the pie. For children aged 2.5 - 5 years of age. 12.30-1.30pm / £8.50 per child.

To see your event listed on the se pages call 02393 11756 1

FAMILY

FUN DAYS Mon 15th - Fri 19th February 10am - 4pm

From the Roman kitchen to Roman school, food, ancient crafts & costumes fun for the whole family!

PO19 3QR 01243 785859 w w w. s u s s e x p a s t . c o. u k

23 January

Greg Jenner: The Worst and The Weirdest The Spring Arts & Heritage Centre, Havant, PO9 1BS 023 9247 2700

A special event for families where Greg will talk through his favourite bits of history that will make you go “URGH!”. Suitable for children age 6+ and their family. Tickets: £8, Family of four: £28. 2.30pm.

23 January

Havant and Portsmouth Wildlife Watch Staunton Country Park, Havant, PO9 5HB

Fun wildlife-themed and outdoor activities for children aged 5-15 years. Havant & Portsmouth Wildlife Watch group usually meet on the 3rd or 4th Saturday each month 10am-12noon at Staunton. 10:00am - 12:00pm / Donations welcome.

24 January

Holocaust Memorial Day 2016 D-Day Museum, Clarence Esplanade, Portsmouth, PO5 3NT 023 9282 6722 Free admission to the D-Day Museum to mark Holocaust Memorial Day.

Butterfly House

KIDS GO FREE!*

Mon 01 – Sun 28 Feb, 10am – 4pm Enjoy the spectacular beauty of tropical butterflies in our butterfly house.

Bird Week Sat 13 – Sun 21 Feb, 10.30am – 3.30pm Take part in bird themed crafts and activities. *Cut out this advert and hand in when you visit to receive up to two free children with every full paying adult. Expires 6th March 2016. FSE02

www.hants.gov.uk/staunton

www.hants.gov.uk

Families Solent East | January/February 2016 | 13

What’s On

Fun at Fort Nelson

13 February

15 -19 February

Longdown Activity Farm, Ashurst, New Forest. 023 8029 2837

GOALS Soccer Centre, Tangier Road, Portsmouth, PO3 6QA 023 8018 0200

Longdown Activity Farm Open for the New Season

Meet the animals at Longdown Activity Farm

24 January

Junior Cookery School Class Emsworth Cookery School 01243 371407 / 07733 262126

Same as 21st January but for ages 6-11 year olds. 10am - 11.15am / £15.00.

Celebrate Imbolc 2016: Celtic Spring Festival

Prepare to bid farewell to the cold winter nights and gradually welcome in the spring! It is held half way between the Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox, with storytelling, poetry, singing and firelight. 1pm - 4pm / £12 pp.

6 February

Ordinary Oscar Storytime Gosport Discovery Centre, High Street, PO12 1BT

30 January

Family Drawing Workshop

The Hampshire and Isle of Wight branch of the British Science Association has teamed up with aspex to present a series of family workshops inspired by science and nature. Free, informative and fun drawing activities and games, suitable for all ages and abilities.

2 - 4pm.

Butterflies at Staunton Staunton Country Park, Havant, PO9 5HB

Back by popular demand, enjoy the spectacular beauty of tropical butterflies at Staunton Country Park. Visit our Butterfly House and watch the butterflies take part in courtship flights and feed from plant nectar and fruit. And, if you stay still for long enough, one might even land on you!

Glasshouse is open daily 10am–

Harry Potter Night

Calling all witches, wizards and muggles, join in for a magical night of fun and games. Make a wand, find out your Harry Potter name, try some Butter Beer and lots more. 6 to 7.30pm / £3, please book in advance.

Butser Ancient Farm, PO8 0BG 023 9259 8838

1 – 28 February

4 February

Gosport Discovery Centre, High Street, PO12 1BT

30 January

Aspex Gallery, Gunwharf Quays, PO1 3BF. 023 9277 8080

4pm. Standard admission to the park applies. The Butterfly House is suitable for all ages. KIDS GO FREE VOUCHER ON PAGE 13.

Oscar no longer wants to be just another ordinary snail. He’s bored and wants some excitement.

Oscar wants to be FAMOUS! But when a Fairy Godsnail appears to make his dream come true, Oscar learns to be careful what he wishes for. . . Come along, listen to our story and make your very own Oscar to take home. Suitable for children aged 3-10 and must be accompanied by an adult. 11am to 12 noon / FREE.

FAMILY

FUN HalfDAYS Term

13 -15th 21 February Mon - Fri 19th 13February February 10am Wildlife Watch- 4pm

Staunton Country Park, From Havant, PO9the 5HB Roman

Fun wildlife-themed and outdoor activities for children aged 5-15 years. 10am – 12pm / Donations welcome.

kitchen to Roman school, food, ancient crafts & costumes 14 January/February 2016 | Families East whole family! funSolent for the

Longdown Activity Farm opens the farm gate for the 2016 season, welcoming visitors for February half-term every day until 30th October, including weekends and Bank Holidays.

The daily timetable is packed with activities which run throughout the day, giving ample opportunity to see and feed the animals. Have a go at bottle-feeding a kid goat or even a calf! Maybe hold a duckling or baby rabbit in our animal handling barn. The pigs are waiting to meet you – and you may even see some piglets.

The popular pony riding will also run throughout the half-term holiday and at weekends.

If the weather is bad there are plenty of undercover play areas, including a soft play area, lots of trampolines, a huge straw barn, or the quieter infant play area and sand pit. The Longdown Farm shop is stocked with a wide range of delicious local produce. www.longdownfarm.co.uk

13 - 21 February Bird Week

Staunton Country Park, Middle Park Way, Havant, PO9 5HB

Enjoy bird themed crafts and get tips on how to look after our feathered friends. KIDS GO FREE VOUCHER ON PAGE 13

15 - 19 February

Half-Term Family Fun Day Fishbourne Roman Palace, Chichester, PO19 3QR 01243 785859

From the Roman kitchen to Roman school life, bread making, clay and costumes, it’s all about getting hands-on. 10am - 4pm / Admission prices apply.

Half Term Football Camp

This February Half Term, Soccer Scholar Academy is giving you the chance to attend our football Camp at Goals Centre Portsmouth.

The camp is designed to create a fun environment for players of all abilities to enjoy learning and developing their skills through the most up to date coaching techniques. Email info@ soccerscholaracademy.com

15 - 19 February

Half-Term Holiday Activities

Peter Ashley Activity Centre, Cosham, PO6 1BJ 023 9232 1223

The centre offers exciting and varied activities that run during every school holiday within the Victorian Fort. All Day Fun for 8 - 13 year olds. 8:45am 3:45pm / £20 Mon-Wed-Fri, £16 Tues+Thurs.

15 - 19 February Pop Up and Play

Chichester Cathedral, PO19 1PX 01243 782 595

Follow the Cathedral trail to find out about the Victorians and the collapse of the spire. Have a go at creating your own Victorian toys - fantastic pop up people, a Jack in the box or a Victorian wooden spoon character to play with.

10.00am - 3.00pm / Cost £2.50 per child.

15 - 19 February

Monster Museum Trail

The Spring, Havant, PO9 1BS 023 9247 2700

Take part in a Monster Museum Trail to explore Havant’s hidden histories. Suitable for children aged 3 - 7 years. Children must be accompanied by an adult / £5 per child - includes coffee/tea for adult and squash for child.

16 - 20 February

Diplodocus Dino Discovery Chichester Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park, PO19 6AP

Join the Dinosaur experience before or after performances of Dinosaur Zoo. On our 90-minute Dinosaur Activity Trail you'll have the chance to uncover a fossil and make your own dinosaur mask.

The perfect accompaniment to

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Dinosaur Zoo, also open to those not seeing the show. For children aged 3 years and over. Tues 2.30pm, Wed 12pm, Thu 2.30pm, Fri 12pm, Sat 12pm / Price: £10 per child, accompanying adult FREE.

16 February

Monster Prints Workshop

The Spring Arts & Heritage Centre, Havant, PO9 1BS. 023 9247 2700 Learn how to make simple lino prints and create your own monster print to take home.

Suitable for 8-12 years. 10am - 1pm / £12 per child. Booking essential.

16 February

Fabulous Faces

Gallery @ Gosport Discovery Centre, PO12 1NS. 023 9252 3463

Family workshop for half term led by a professional artist. Inspired by the famous British Modern Art in our Defining Movements exhibition, you can create your own portrait or self-portrait using the techniques and media of the modern masters! Suitable for age 5+ / £4 per child, accompanying adults free. Book ahead.

17 February

Digital Monster Drawing Holiday Workshop

The Spring, Havant, PO9 1BS 023 9247 2700. Learn techniques to draw your own 'Monster Family' on your computer tablet.

Your monster designs will then be turned into pictures to share online. For children aged 8-12 years. 10am - 1pm / £12.

17 - 18 February Magic School

Gosport Discovery Centre, PO12 1BT. 023 9252 3463

March/April Easter issue booking deadline 1st February 2016

The Magic School is back and there are brand new tricks for trainee wizards to learn including magic tricks that they can perform to friends and family at home: they won’t need specialist props, just regular household items. Suitable for ages 7 – 12 / 9.30am - 3.30pm (take a packed lunch) / Tickets £27.50.

Bird Week at Staunton Country Park

18 February

Circus Skills and Balloon

Monsters Holiday Workshop The Spring, Havant, PO9 1BS 023 9247 2700

Learn circus skills and create scary monsters out of balloons. For ages 8-12 years. 10am - 1pm / Tickets: £12.

20 February

Free Family Workshop

Aspex Gallery, Gunwharf Quays, PO1 3BF. 023 9277 8080

See 30th January listing for event details. 2 - 4pm.

Thursdays from 25 February - 24 March

Opens 13th FebRUARY 2016

Get hands-on with our full schedule of fun activities which run throughout the day.

Meet friendly farm animals.

Plenty of indoor and outdoor play areas.

Farm produce shop and gift shop.

Off A35 • Ashurst • New Forest Tel. 023 8029 2837

ONE E CHILD FREAdul t*

With One Paying

*On production of this advert.

Cannot be used with any other offer. Valid until 24 March 2016.

For event details & much more click onto: www.longdownfarm.co.uk

FSE

Makaton with Baby

Gosport Discovery Centre, High Street, PO12 1BT. 023 9252 3463

10 to 11am. 5 week course where signs are taught in a relaxed atmosphere using songs, stories and rhymes with your child (age 4 – 18 months) Course Fee £20, concessions apply. Please book in advance.

us Find e! onlin

FORT NELSON FREE MUSEUM ENTRY

HOME OF THE BIG GUNS

www.familiessolenteast.co.uk

facebook.com/FSEmagazine twitter.com/FamiliesSolentE

A massive Victorian Fort to explore | Cafe 1871 | Over 350 big guns on display | Daily gun-firing 1pm | School holiday activities

www.royalarmouries.org

for even more local events, competitions and news!

Families Solent East | January/February 2016 | 15

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