20 | Identity Thus they know that the châteaux serve only as stepping stones to what the Chinese really like to do. And that?s shop. Boy, do they like to shop. If us women bring shops down, Chinese ones clean them out. One often encounters, around Avenue Montaigne in Paris, little pyramids of stiff, shiny shopping bags apparently proceeding along the pavement under their own volition. Closer inspection shows they conceal microscopic Chinese ladies singlehandedly saving France?s balance of payments. JAPANESE There is one sure sign of Japaneseness in women. It
is that, if ever there is the slightest threat of sunshine, they all carry parasols. This is terrifically elegant, and jolly good news for a southern French milliner I met. In common with most hat shops, his was going bust until he started stocking parasols, upon which Japanese visitors fell with delight. If only these ladies could persuade European women to affect parasols, that we fellows might wear boaters and blazers, we would, I think, be even more in their debt. GERMANS German tourists face two problems. The first is their language. The 25-yard-long words,
bristling with hard consonants, undoubtedly raise hackles outside of Germany. The second is that they win everything, as seen again in Brazil. German visitors I?ve met handle this with good humour , modesty and significant amounts of beer. Where I?ve been, they have a discreet presence on the beach. But they still win at volleyball. ITALIAN Undoubtedly, the best-looking tourists. There may be ugly Italians but, if so, they don?t let them out of the country. SPANISH Undoubtedly the noisiest of all holidaymakers. I?ve
heard them drown out Mass in St Peter?s. They also eat at times when no-one else is eating (3.45pm, 11.28pm, etc). RUSSIAN As a top Cote-d?Azur hotelier told me: ?They need handling firmly but diplomatically. But, if you get it right, Russians can behave very well.? BRITISH The politest and most appreciative of all visitors to foreign parts, until things go badly wrong. They will insist quite shirtily, for instance, that their draught beer is filled up to the line.
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