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Living Proof BY DENISE PALMISANO, CHPC “We can never obtain peace in the outer skills or substantial world until we make peace with ourselves.” work experience brought up issues ~Dalai Lama that I had never ife in the outer world appeared to be faced before. picture perfect. I was married, had a Suddenly I was single, alone, beautiful daughter, all the money I working for needed, great friends, a loving minimum wage and family and a beautiful home. I was also living in low income housing. My teenage worn out, unhappy, resentful, depressed, daughter was out of control and my friends lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. I and family had their own situations to no longer had the energy to pretend I was manage. It was a very dark place even living the life of my dreams. My inner though I was the one that designed the world was starving for connection, joy, interruption in my fairytale life. freedom and confidence. I chose to Many nights of either crying or drinking confront my life exactly as it was and I told my truth. I was no longer willing to pretend myself to sleep, I felt defeated, scattered, afraid, broken and unclear about what to it was okay to do what others needed and do next. In a matter of months I had traded wanted me to do to make them happy. one nightmare for another. I got involved with personal “Keep your dreams alive. Understand to development workshops. I discovered I was achieve anything requires faith and belief not alone. I learned that while I couldn’t in yourself, vision, hard work, control every life situation, nor the people determination, and dedication. Remember in them, I still had choices. I revealed all things are possible for those who several blind spots that were keeping me stuck. I had given up my authentic voice in believe.” ~Gail Devers exchange for the approval of others and the Nowhere else to turn, I continued to need to belong. I felt peace in the knowing that it didn’t dive into personal growth workshops, books and groups. I had a hunger for have to be this way. I learned about anything that could offer me ideas, effective communication, authenticity, suggestions and education about how to factoring my longings into the equation turn things around. Those and having a plan to teachings spoke of acceptance, reach a desired reinventing interpretations of outcome. I set out situations, clarity of vision, on a mission to recreating a plan of action and invent myself, my following through on my relationships and commitments to myself. I had my life. Happiness to put myself first. emerged the I created vision boards, set moment I took goals, learned marketable skills responsibility and and did the best I could at any given time. started taking action. “We grow because we struggle, we learn Over the next fifteen years there were more career changes, short term relationships and overcome.” and several moves that created the ~Robert C. Allen constant need to reinvent myself. It seemed Armed with a renewed sense of self, I expected the journey to be steadily moving as though change was constant and I was getting a lot of practice with my new tools forward in alignment with the life I and resources. envisioned. It was a brief high. The stark reality of not having many marketable
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“We grow because we struggle, we learn and overcome.” ~Robert C. Allen
Evolving…in SANTA FE
My health and finances were screaming for my attention. I was then diagnosed with Hepatitis C and back then, all available treatment was in the research and development stage. My insurance plan did not cover experimental drugs. I had just moved into a new house with a huge mortgage. Prior to the diagnosis, it was an affordable investment. The out of pocket financial burden took its toll. My friends rallied and donated to my medical expenses however it wasn’t enough to cover the year-long treatment plan. I missed a lot of work and in the end, I had to sell my house. The good news was, my body did respond to the treatments and no visible sustained activity was present. The bad news was I had accumulated enormous debt. A bright spot in the process was that soon after my treatments were complete I became engaged. In preparation for the marriage and move out of state, I gave notice at work, got rid of my furniture and sold my car. The plan was unfolding. I had secured a job and had another car waiting for me. Joy came to a screeching halt when my fiancee’ called off our wedding. That was one of the lowest points in my life. In my numbness, I picked myself up and started over. “A new way of thinking has become the necessary condition for responsible living and acting. If we maintain obsolete values and beliefs, a fragmented consciousness and self-centered spirit, we will continue to hold onto outdated goals and behaviors.” ~Dalai Lama In 2005, additional personal and business loss with Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. The hits kept coming yet I met each 11
September 2015
situation with acceptance and self-trust. I had developed a connection so deep with my inner truth that I no longer feared what would come next. I learned whether change comes into my life as imposed or designed, I am still at choice with how I respond to it. Today I am happy, healthy, successful, engaged and deeply connected to myself and others. I have everything I need within me to turn any situation around. “Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama I am living proof that you have the power to reinvent yourself moment by moment to create a life you love regardless of your life situations.
Denise empowers and inspires people to reclaim their authenticity, wholeness and potential moment by moment. Her motto is, “You Have Everything You Need to Handle Whatever Comes Up”. Learn more about Denise and her work at www.empoweringpotential.com or call (985) 860-8861.