Eve's Apple The Mag Issue 10- The love letter from the past to the future

Eve's Apple!

The Mag

Eve's Apple is a Matriarch and Sons Publication

In Partnership with Tekano for Health Equity

ISSUE 10 14 FEBRUARY 2022

Lebogang for the Past SEXUAL AND REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH FAQs ONLY

TEKANO IS ONE OF 7 ATLANTIC FELLOWS PROGRAMMES THAT WORK TO ERADICATE SOCIAL, ECONOMIC AND HEALTH INEQUITIES. TEKANO WORKS TOWARDS ACHIEVING A HEALTHIER MORE EQUAL NATION FOR ALL POPULATIONS OF SOUTH AFRICA.

www.tekano.org.za

@TekanoSA

@TekanoSA

@Tekano_SA

Glynis MacGee Journalist

Dimpho Mogale Journalist

CONTRIBUTORS Precious Lesupi Journalist

Kyra-Kay Rensburg Creative director and Journalist

In the spirit of the month of love, we have curated a special issue. This issue is a love letter to women and queer people from the past, the present, to the future.

And it is dedicated to you who deserves to be remembered.

EVE'S APPLE THE MAG-ISSUE 10 IN PARTNERSHIP WITH\TEKANO

@evesapplethemag

The issue of love

11

12

matriarchandsons@gmail.com

13

@beinganapple

@evesapplethemag

EVE'S APPLE THE MAG-ISSUE 10

The future is accessible

When you make a choice,you make a change.

Did you know...

Dark chocolate is nutritious?

It lowers stress and may alleviate the pain.

Source:7 Proven Health Benefits of Dark Chocolate (healthline.com)

THE ONSET OF HISTORY...

WE WOMEN FORGOTTEN BYHISTORY Madikizela-Mandela often used ‘we’ when speaking. She did so in implicit recognition that she was a symbol of a larger whole – of communities of women banished, exploited, oppressed and defiant.

In recognition both of her contribution, and of the role and contribution of the known and unknown

women

who

political

economy

of

Tekano

celebrated

challenged

white

the

supremacy,

Madikizela-Mandela’s

birthday by recognizing women routinely forgotten or rarely heard.

‘Native’

women

were

the

‘unwanted

appendages’ of the Apartheid imagination, they were cemented into the lowest rungs of the

racialized

hierarchy

of

the

political

economy, which posited white men at the top and black women at the very bottom of the race-caste system.

The Apartheid political economy was built on the exclusion of black women – and when it became clear that they were indeed a necessary

part

of

the

economy

economic

and

professional

–

their

options

were

deliberately constrained and confined to ‘care work’ such as nursing, teaching, social work, or unpaid and low income work like factory work, domestic service and child-care.

by: Gail Smith

18

In celebrating Madikizela-Mandela’s birthday, the critical dialogues sough to highlight the contributions of women who dedicated their lives to challenging Apartheid from within nursing, teaching and social work - and who have been silenced and erased. While much is known about women in the labour movement and women in the antiApartheid movement, not much is known about how women organized as nurses and social workers to confront and subvert white supremacist heteropatriarchy and to assert the right to equality for all.

Winnie’s death in April 2018 and the narrative fall-out that followed forced us to ask why we were so susceptible to the lies and misinformation about Winnie Mandela? This reckoning with our past, catalyzed by her death, forced a new conversation about culpability, about white supremacy and the violence it required, about the machinery invented to destroy her. It exposed the dirty secrets of white supremacy, of black liberation, of the national family, and of the hidden faces for whom destroying Winnie Mandela was a matter of white nationalist pride.

The ReaBua Critical Dialogues did not seek to eulogise or exalt Madikizela-Mandela.

The dialogues sought to contextualise her work, activism, and life, through an intersectional lens; to reflect her contribution in relation to her peers and to highlight the work, contribution and activism of other women of her generation.

To bring into view the ‘we’, she always spoke of.

In pursuit of raising awareness of the systemic causes of injustice and socioeconomic inequalities, as well as seeking to promote the transformative power of collective social change, Tekano commissioned and premiered 5 short films to highlight histories routinely forgotten, overlooked or suppressed.

This is a 8 part series of writing on Mail and Guardian for ReaBua by Tekano. Read more here.

The Lady Behind Liberty...

18

Desire Finca

Ms Desiree Finca, was a former domestic worker, from the Transkei, who became the first African woman to be admitted as an attorney.

In 1928 a ray of possibility was born, shining across the planes of Mthatha, formerly Umtata.

The year was 1967 and change was glacially developing. In a pioneering act of justice the first black South African woman, Desiree Finca became an attorney.

Prior to becoming a lawyer, like many women, Finca was a domestic worker, a job specifically reserved for women of colour. Law and other professions were far out of reach for women or colours but Finca proved people wrong. The ideology of the time left people to believe that the darker one's skin pigmentation, the lower their intellect and women were considered the bottle of the barrel intellectuals. Therefore, it came as a surprise In 1963 when Finca registered at the University of South Africa (UNISA) and got into law. Even the most privileged, highest educated people structure to make the bar. Finca changed all this, the way black women were thought of. She broke barriers and changed ideologies by simply registering for law at UNISA. Beyond this not much is known about Finca, however, what we do know is that she set in motion a new way of thinking about African women. According to the Law Society of South Africa, in 2019 there were 4 849 black women attorneys in South Africa. Albeit only 17% of the total attorneys in South Africa, it is of significant progress from six decades ago.

Forgotten by the history books There is very little information out there about Finca, she did not make the history books, she barely appears on a Google search. That is exactly why she should be remembered. Women were not valued in South Africa, black women least of all. Their victories and achievements were silenced under the patriarchal gaze.

The 1920s was the first time women were allowed to practise law. In the 1930s women, white women were given the right to vote. Seemingly revolutionary, these rights were not extended to black women. These might have been milestones at the time but justice for black women was none existent. Therefore, we pay homage to Desiree Finca.

We should say her name. We should tell children about her, if we don’t say her name her contributions will be lost.

SAY HER NAME...

Joyce Dipale Joyce Dipale came from a political activist family and was involved in the struggle. She lived through the death of her younger brother in police detention, a home invasion, suffered a heart attack, loss of speech and loss of privacy.

In her activist years, she was detained in prisons across South Africa for two and a half years. During those years she was kept in solitary confinement for 500 days from 1976 to 1977 in the infamous John Vorster Square. She was subjected to brutal torture such as electric shock with wires attached to her breasts. Following her release, the Security Branch continued to harass Joyce Dipale and her family .

While living in exile in Gaborone, Botswana on a farm near Kopfontein on the day of 26th November 1981, a squad of policemen and Askaris attacked by entering the Dipale household unannounced at night in the darkness caused by power failure. When they could not find her, they detained her younger brother who later died.

According to SAPA, in Johannesburg on January 20 1997, in a testimony in court, it was said “two women, one of them by Joyce moved in the kitchen with a lit candle. One of the Askaries shot the unknown woman at pointblank range doing it continuously, shooting more believing that Joyce Dipale died in the house.”

Three shots were fired at her and she survived. She was asked to appear in a hearing years later. It was discovered she had lost most of her ability to speak and suffered a stroke as a result of the traumatic events that took place in November, 1981. Aphasia is a condition that robs you of the ability to communicate. It can affect your ability to speak, write and understand language, both verbal and written.

Aphasia typically occurs suddenly after a stroke or a head injury.

Despite her speech impairment Joyce lived to tell the story.

It was discovered she had lost most of her ability to speak and suffered a stroke as a result of the traumatic events that took place in November 1981.

Kewp ie

The life. The legend.

Kewpie display at the District Six Museum

Kewpie is an iconic queer figure in South Africa and was a gender-fluid individual who went by women's pronouns. Hailing from the streets of District Six was a hairdresser, drag performer and cultural figure who united the LGBTQIA+ community of that time.

Kewpie in Sir Lowry Road

Kewpie at the Marie Antoinette Ball

Kewpie at neighbours house in Francis Street

The queer culture in South Africa has rich but unknown history. Historically Cape Town was a hub of underground queer culture, even boasting its own ball culture. According to the South African History Organisation, the Western Cape Coloured community were amongst the first to display homosexuality and develop a queer culture. And the District Six had some of the richest queer scenes South Africa has ever had. Many of these were spearheaded by Kewpie, the daughter of District Six.

Where it all began…

Kewpie was born in 1942 and was one of six children. A born performer her mother enrolled her in ballet classes in a year early teens at the University of Cape Town, where she was offered the opportunity to dance internationality. Kewpie’s father declines the offer and encouraged her to be a hairdresser instead by setting her up in a salon. The salon would become a popular spot for drag pageants. It was a cultural hub of the 50s and brought to life the ball scene. Kewpie’s balls became so popular they made headlines, literally. It started to attract the attention of the media, who wrote of the drag performers on-stage magnetism. Kewpie’s stage name was Capucine, and she was known for her statement style and vintage pieces.

The community

Kewpie grew up in a poor and overcrowded community, in her own household she was one of six children. District Six was a community of approximately 70 000 people living in the area. Although it was impoverished it was a vibrant, communal space, where people of different races lived comfortably amongst one another, a phenomenon the apartheid government has exclaimed was impossible. And yet here lay a community that proved them wrong.

It was the circumstances of the community that unified it. People helped one another, and created a sense of belonging in the community members. According to South African History Online, it was this sense of belonging that allowed Kewpie to live confidently as her true self.

Her family’s support of her ballet interests and hairdressing career signifies that she was supported by her family despite challenging gender norms, especially in a time when it was a stringent taboo. Kewpies partner of 13 year’s had introduced her to his parents who accepted her as a woman.

Kewpie would on to live openly and proudly as a LGBTQIA+ woman. Taking a stand against apartheids pillars of discrimination, separation and oppression. Kewpies salon and the balls she ran out of it would serve as a space where LGBTQIA+ members could meet and interact as their true selves, not hiding from the world as they so often did. Kewpie would stand as an inspirational figure to younger LGBTQIA+ youths who felt like they had no place in the world. She would create a name of pride associated with the LGBTQIA+ community.

Her legacy

Like all good things, they must come to an end. In the 1970s the apartheid demolished District Six and displaced its members. Kewpie’s family moved to Bellville at this time. Leaving Kewpie heartbroken as her once inclusive, accepting community was destroyed. She continued to fight for freedom by refusing to leave her home, and she continued to serve her community until she took her last breath.

Kewpie died of lung cancer in 2012.

But she will not be forgotten. In 2019, she would be immortalised by the Gay and Lesbian Archives in collaboration with the District Six museum who exhibited Kewpies life in 700 photographs. Other homages to Kewpie include a dedication by the annual District Six Heritage Day Parade. She will be remembered for her constitution to the community and her cultural influence.

We thank you Kewpie, for your strength to be yourself during a time where being a queer, person of colour was a sin.

Trigger warning: this article contains mentions of rape

Reflecting on the Culture of Violence in South Africa

The approaches t and automatically protec tor from shield the perpetra by blaming any accountability or. the victim or surviv

By:Ntabeleng Morake South African society is characterised by high levels of violence, many of which are gendered and institutional.

There are multiple theories that seek to make sense of this violence. Among these is that South Africa has a culture of violence, especially a culture of male violence against women. This means there are societal norms and approaches which not only normalise the use of violence but also encourage it as a legitimate form of expression.

Thus, when a country has a culture of violence, gendered hyper-violence becomes embedded in the social fabric of that country, and becomes used as an everyday practice to maintain male power in society. Stories of gendered violence and femicide that we hear of daily on various platforms illustrate that gendered hyper-violence is an everyday practice, often used by men to achieve and maintain patriarchal male power over women and children. There are multiple factors that have resulted in a gendered culture of violence in South Africa which has ultimately resulted in an unsafe country for women and children. These factors were discussed in a Twitter Space hosted by Tekano on the 24th of November 2021.

These include: Rape myths and rape culture Gendered hyper-violence and the portrayal of victims in the media

Rape myths and rape culture In the crime statistics for Quarter 3 of 2021, Minister Bheki Cele announced that between the 1st of July 2021 to the 30th of September 2021, there were 9 556 reported rapes. This number, though very high, does not begin to paint the real crisis of sexual violence in South Africa.

Rape in South Africa cannot be understood outside of rape myths which shape society’s perceptions of sexual violence. Rape myths are false perceptions about rape that are often used to justify and minimise sexual violence and the impact it has on those that are violated. The Twitter Space explored how rape myths facilitate the construction of beliefs about sexual violence. This includes attitudes about the victim or survivor, perpetrators and what constitutes sexual violence. For example, if a survivor or victim of rape does not behave in ways that rape myths prescribe that she should act, rape myths facilitate an environment where she may not be believed.

This moreover extends to the police’s treatment and how the criminal justice system responds to the crime. This is problematic because it places the additional responsibility on victims and survivors of sexual violence to prove that they have been violated, and simultaneously removes any responsibility from the perpetrators. The Twitter Space explored the rape myths, and other aspects of rape culture, including beliefs such as that rape, cannot happen between intimate partners, only poor men rape, that false rape reports are common and many other myths which intend to justify rape and sexual violence.

Rape myths and rape culture thus create an environment wherein there are no victim or survivor centered approaches when it comes to sexual violence; instead the approaches automatically protect and shield the perpetrator from any accountability by blaming the victim or survivor.

Gendered hyper violence and the portrayal of victims in the media.

Rape culture, rape myths and a culture of gendered hyper violence by men towards women are interconnected and are sustained by multiple institutions such as the media. The media is a necessary and significant tool in our society. It moreover shapes some of our collective beliefs and how we respond to some of our societal challenges. Thus, media plays a huge role in how we construct and understand gendered hyper violence, rape culture and myths. Moreover, the media also plays an important role in how we respond to these. Due to white capitalist patriarchy, the media can reinforce rape culture, rape myths and gendered hyper violence by portraying victims and survivors of gender-based violence in ways that reinforce these.

women and children are plausible, credible and believable

Rape culture, rape myths and a culture of gendered hyper violence by men towards women are interconnected and are sustained by multiple institutions such as the media..

This is done through news reporting that can be interpreted as victim blaming, pardoning the perpetrator and their actions, dismissing reports of sexual and gender-based violence, positioning only certain women and children as ‘plausible, credible and believable’ and other constructions that frame sexual and gender-based violence as incidents that women bring upon themselves; and not a structural issue that is deeply embedded in patriarchal male violence and domination. For example, in 2018 after Siam Lee was murdered, her profession as a sex worker was used to blame her for her own murder. Thus, this placed the responsibility for her murder on her and not on the perpetrator that committed the crime. Similarly, the media’s portrayal of the Dros rapist, Nicolas Ninow, sought to excuse him from raping a child by providing space for him to share a complex human story through his mother, and to moreover portray what he did as a mistake. This is an act of rape culture. For us to effectively address men’s hyper gendered violence against women, we need to move beyond just saying ‘we condemn violence against women and children’, but to rather have systems in place that firstly support victims and survivors while also holding those that perpetrate this violence accountable. This requires both structural and interpersonal interventions that will centre the voices of survivors and victims of gender-based violence.

This is a 8 part series of writing on Mail and Guardian for ReaBua by Tekano. Read more here.

Rea Bua: HerStory The two pieces by Ntebaleng Morake and Gail Smith are from a 8 part series of writing on Mail and Guardian am for ReaBua by Tekano. Read more here.

The ReaBua Critical Dialogues sought to contextualise Winnie Madikizela-Mandela’s work, activism, and life, through an intersectional lens and in relation to her peers, writes Gail Smith On 2nd April 2018, Nomzamo Winnie MadikizelaMandela died and the world mourned the loss of a woman who had come to symbolise the South African liberation struggle. Winnie Madikizela-Mandela was the first medical social worker in the history of South Africa. The significance of this is often undermined and not clearly understood.

Ntebaleng Morake

S

Building a South Africa that addresses the injustices of the past while seeking alternatives for a just and equal society.

The ReaBua Critical Dialogues, which took place in Cape Town on 22nd September, was the culmination of a campaign that began on 9 August, Women’s Day and includes Heritage Day and Winnie MadikizelaMandela’s 85th birthday as critical milestones in the celebration of women’s contribution – both to the liberation and heritage of South Africa.

Speakers at The ReaBua Critical Dialogues included Dr Tracy Naledi, Tekano Board Chairperson, Ms Sipho Mthathi, Tekano Board Member, Ms Lebogang Ramafoko, Tekano Chief Executive, Egyptian feminist Mona Eltahawy, musician Thandiswa Mazwai, author Sisonke Msimang, Dr Makgoale Magwentshu, and other leading social change leaders, spoke to the themes of health equity and erasure across various disciplines.

Five short films, commissioned by Tekano to inspire a new generation of women to shed light on histories routinely forgotten, overlooked or suppressed, were produced and screened, while the panels comprised women leaders in the fields of mining, social work, medicine, farming and education.

Tekano is one of 7 Atlantic Fellows Programmes that work to eradicate social, economic and health inequities.

Tekano works towards achieving a healthier more equal nation for all populations of South Africa.

Gail Smith Gail Smith is a feminist writer, journalist and project manager for the Rea Bua: HerStory Critical Dialogues

www.tekano.org.za

’

This Valentine s Day give yourself the gift of love

How to Safely Wear a Medical Mask Source: World Health Organization

Do's

Thoroughly wash hands with soap and water before touching the mask Check the mask for any tears or holes Find the top side where the metal piece or stiff edge is Ensure that the colored side faces outwards Place the metal piece/stiff edge over your nose Cover your mouth, nose, and chin.

... these bodies carry us for generation.

FEBRUARY 2021, ISSUE 10

UKUTHWALA THEN AND NOW

You might have heard: but it is my culture. But to what extent can we pull that out of our arsenal?

"THE

It is a scary thing when your rights are stripped from you. You have no say. You

ABDUCTION

have no power. You are but a mere object of a possessive flash.

WAS A STAGED

These are the realities of young women who find themselves captured, forced into

EVENT,

A

PERFORMANCE

a marriage they do not want.

This practice of abducting girls and women for the sake of marriage is called ukuthwala.

OF SORTS. THE

However, ukuthwala did not start off as what it is today. Ukuthwala was

COUPLE WOULD

historically practised by the Xhosa people and was something similar to an

NOT ENGAGE IN SEXUAL

arranged marriage with the purpose of establishing ties with another family. The woman’s family has to consent to the marriage and the groom needs to pay lobola. The term itself has varied meanings, it comes from the Nguni language and

ACTIVITY,

may mean abduction. The abduction was a way of fast-forwarding marriage

CONSENSUAL

negotiations and was for the purpose of a quick marriage, according to the article

OR

FORCED

UNTIL

THEY

HAVE

BEEN

MARRIED"

“Rethinking ukuthwala, the South African ‘bride abduction’ custom” in The Conversation by Nyasha Karimakwenda, a post-doctoral research fellow at the University of Cape Town. The abduction was a stage event, a performance of sorts.

The couple would not engage in sexual activity, consensual or forced until they have been married.

Therefore the law does not actually protect girls, especially if their parents sell them.

However, despite having the family’s consent that

The practice of Ukuthwala has become illegal but

does not necessarily guarantee that the woman

the law has unfortunate holes in this regard.

has

Ukuthwala

consented.

Families

have

consented

to

has

been

incorporated

into

the

women's behaviour and in this case, it has

Trafficking in Persons Act, however, ukuthwala is

become an act of human rights violation.

In

illegal if the child is under 16. If she is above 16 her

recent years ukuthwala has become a problem of

parents may consent to the marriage, often in

child abuse, as men are kidnapping children and

exchange for money. Therefore the law does

causing them mental and physical hardship. The

actually protect girls, especially if their parents sell

claim to culture does not exist in situations where

them. There are no task teams or special units

minors are involved and if women are taken

dedicated to the eradication of illicit ukuthwala.

not

without their consent.

Therefore this is not culture. It is a distortion of According to the article “Ukuthwala: The sex

Nguni history, a mockery to culture for the benefit

trafficking scandal devastating rural South Africa”

of egregious, pedophilic men.

in Mail and Guardian by Lizeka Maduna, the practice of ukuthwala has lost its meaning and had developed into an act of sexual exploitation of girls and women in rural areas. The article discusses the devastating realities of families selling their daughters to men who sexually abuse them and trafficking them.

Women in the

Eastern Cape and KwaZulu Natal have been the most affected in South Africa by ukuthwala.

COLLAGEN

IS IT A FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH? THE TRUTH

Collagen is the most plentiful protein in your body, accounting for about one-third of its protein composition. It is one of the major building blocks of bones, skin, muscles, tendons, and ligaments.

Collagen is also found in many other body parts, including blood vessels, corneas, and teeth. You can think of it as the “glue” that holds all these things together. In fact, the word comes from the Greek word “kólla,” which means glue.

How Stuff Works Your body makes procollagen by combining two amino acids — glycine and proline. This process uses vitamin C. You may be able to help your body produce this important protein by making sure you get plenty of the following nutrients: Vitamin C. Large amounts are found in citrus fruits, peppers, and strawberries.

Proline. Large amounts are found in egg whites, wheat gem, dairy products, cabbage, asparagus, and mushrooms.

Glycine. Large amounts are found in pork skin, chicken skin, and gelatin, but glycine is also found in various protein-containing foods.

Copper. Large amounts are found in organ meats(liver, heart, intestine), sesame seeds, cocoa powder, cashews, and lentils .

So what is the fuss about collagen supplements?

They promise to boost beauty from the inside out – claiming to improve skin elasticity and firmness and nourish hair, skin and nails. Even keeps bones strong and provide flexibility and structure to your tendons and ligaments. Your body needs high quality protein that contains the amino acids needed to make new proteins. Meat, poultry, seafood, dairy, legumes, and tofu are all excellent sources of amino acids. Two types of supplements are gaining popularity — hydrolyzed collagen (collagen hydrolysate) and gelatin. Gelatin is created when collagen is cooked. These have already broken the large protein down into smaller peptides, which are more easily absorbed in the body. Collagen is an important protein that provides structure for many parts of the body. However, because vitamin C is required to produce collagen, vitamin C-rich fruits and vegetables also assist with collagen production.

Interestingly, the foods and nutrients you eat can help your body make this protein. Alternatively, collagen supplements may be beneficial. Some preliminary studies show that they may improve skin quality, muscle function, and reduce the pain associated with osteoarthritis. Eating well seems to be the best place to start. Consult a health practitioner just to be sure that your body can handle all the protein you give it should you choose to start on collagen.

@romantix_linge @RomantixSA @Romantix_SA

For

NO TIME Pleasure?

BY: LISA WELSH

Eve's Apple The Mag Issue 10

I’m going to take a wild guess… you’re too busy! Overworked, overstressed and underpleasured? Right? I thought so.

Did you know that you can be busy AND still access exquisite pleasure every single day? And I’m not only talking about the saucy kind of pleasure. I’m talking about every day - dare I say simple kinds of pleasure!

I’m a Pleasure Coach, and the number one reason people come to me is because they want to enjoy more of the fun stuff of life they’re just TOO BUSY! Being “too busy” is the easiest, knee-jerk excuse to avoid pleasure. And I get it. Time is your most precious resource - just 24 little hours a day, and you can never get more of it. Not even if you’re Oprah!

...with pleasure It’s very easy to put pleasure off until later... when everything is done. You’re taught that productivity comes above all else. And if you're not getting stuff done, you should feel guilty. Sound familiar?

And because your time is so limited, pleasure feels indulgent. A reward that you can only have when you’ve worked hard enough or suffered long enough.

It’s a selfish waste of time. That’s the way society has shaped you.

But there are scientific benefits to experiencing pleasure! It triggers the release of powerful mood-boosting hormones, and endorphins… yes, please!

Plus, pleasure can spark energising aliveness in every single cell in your body, In fact, prioritising pleasure can energise you to do an even better job at your chosen tasks too!

Even if all that sounds nice, it might still feel impossible to achieve - because YOU just don’t have time. Well, get ready, because I’m about to destroy this excuse.

Introducing (drum roll….) Pleasure Microdosing!

Through microdosing, pleasure can be yours right now, even though you have a tonne of stuff on your to-do list. It doesn’t matter how much time you have (or don’t have) nor how many people are expecting something from you. You can access pleasure in an instant.

The idea is to create tiny feel-good moments over and over again throughout your day. These compound and leave you feeling even more pleasure the next day. It’s like building and stoking a pleasure fire.

One action adds some tinder, another adds fuel, another sparks a flame, another feeds it wood… and you just keep going all day long until you have a roaring inferno. The power is in the repetition. The small things become big things.

And it just keeps getting easier.

Are you wondering what kind of actions count?

Chucking out those uncomfortable old undies? Yep. Taking a deep breath? Yes. Shifting and moving your body? Yes Presenting your meal beautifully on your plate?

Yes

Well, let’s ask you.

What makes you feel good?

Touching your skin with a loving presence? Yes A long relaxed bubble bath?

Yes A walk in nature with a breeze on your skin? Yes Saying loving affirmations?

Yes

It all counts when you make it count. And you do that with your presence.

You can access a microdose of pleasure right now even while you’re on a work call, or folding washing. You can run your fingertips over your thighs, hum your favourite tune and feel the vibration on your lips, or scratch your nails on the palm of your hand.

You see, it is always accessible and it doesn’t need to take extra time. Give yourself permission to do it!

By returning to pleasure again and again, you’ll feel more comfortable with it. You’ll increase your tolerance for it. You’ll learn to help yourself to feel better over and over, many times a day, forever. Soon, everything and anything can become your personal pleasure activation. You’ll be squeezing every drop of pleasure from each moment! Doesn’t that sound delicious?

So, you see, you can never really be too busy for pleasure! Of course, there are other obstacles that may stop you from feeling able to step fully into your pleasure potential, and those are addressed.

Follow: Lisa Welsh IG: @inbedwithlisa Website: inbedwithlisa.com Bio: Lisa is a Pleasure Pixie and Sex Educator who loves helping people to unlock their full orgasmic nature.

www.secretcorner.za

Fix

gue

T r o u n o Y LGBTQIA+ TERMS TO LEARN

IT'S PRIDE MONTH AND WE THOUGHT IT WAS TIME WE HELPED YOU FIX YOUR TONGUE. THE TERMS BELOW ARE HELPFUL IN AFFIRMING LANGUAGE USE. THIS IS NOT THE END OF ALL KNOWLEDGE. IT IS OUR ATTEMPT AT HELPING YOU DO BETTER WITH THE ASSISTANCE OF GRAMMARLY AND QUEERPEDIA. LGBTQIA+

THIS ACRONYM, CONSTANTLY BEING UPDATED, REFERS TO ALL OF THE IDENTITIES COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH GENDER AND SEXUAL IDENTITIES THAT ARE OUTSIDE OF THE HETEROSEXUAL, CISGENDER NORM. THIS ITERATION STANDS FOR LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER, QUEER, INTERSEX, ASEXUAL, AND MORE.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

QUEER

TO SOME ELDERS, THIS TERM HARKENS BACK TO ITS TIME AS A SLUR TO REFER TO LGBTQIA+ INDIVIDUALS, WHILE TO OTHERS, IT SERVES AS A USEFUL, RECLAIMED TERM TO DESCRIBE THEMSELVES OR THEIR COMMUNITY. DO NOT USE THIS TERM TO REFER TO ANYONE WHO DOES NOT USE IT TO DESCRIBE THEMSELVES.

INTERSECTIONALITY

THIS TERM REFERS TO THE CONCEPT OF INTERCONNECTED AREAS OF OPPRESSION, HOW THEY OVERLAP AND COMBINE, AND THE IDEA THAT SOCIAL JUSTICE DOESN’T EXIST IN A VACUUM.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION

YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS HOW YOU DESCRIBE THE WAY YOU EXPERIENCE PHYSICAL ATTRACTION. LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, PANSEXUAL, AND ASEXUAL ARE ALL EXAMPLES OF THESE.

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION

HOW DO YOU DESCRIBE THE WAY YOU EXPERIENCE EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION? THIS MAY LINE UP WITH YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION, BUT IT MAY NOT. PANROMANTIC AND AROMANTIC ARE EXAMPLES OF THESE TERMS.

LESBIAN

THIS TERM REFERS TO A WOMAN WHO IS SEXUALLY AND/OR ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO OTHER WOMEN.

GAY

THIS TERM REFERS TO A MAN SEXUALLY AND/OR ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO OTHER MEN. IT’S ALSO SOMETIMES USED AS A BLANKET TERM TO REFER TO ANY PERSON WHO IS INTERESTED IN THE SAME GENDER AS THEIR OWN.

BISEXUAL

THIS TERM REFERS TO A PERSON ATTRACTED TO TWO OR MORE GENDERS. THIS COULD BE A PERSON ATTRACTED TO MEN AND WOMEN, A PERSON ATTRACTED TO MEN AND NONBINARY GENDERS, OR A PERSON ATTRACTED TO THEIR OWN GENDER AND A FEW OTHERS. WHILE “BI” DOES REFER TO TWO, AS THE COMMUNITY’S UNDERSTANDING OF GENDER HAS GROWN, THE TERM HAS EXPANDED IN ITS USAGE BEYOND THE GENDER BINARY.

8 9 10 11 12 13

PANSEXUAL

SIMILAR TO BISEXUAL, A PERSON IS ATTRACTED TO MANY GENDERS (USUALLY MORE THAN TWO OR ANY GENDER). SOMEONE MAY CONSIDER THEMSELVES BISEXUAL AND PANSEXUAL, OR JUST ONE OR THE OTHER.

QUESTIONING

A TERM USED TO REFER TO SOMEONE WHO IS NOT SURE WHAT THEIR GENDER IDENTITY OR SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS, AND WHO IS IN THE PROCESS OF FIGURING IT OUT.

STRAIGHT/HETEROSEXUAL

A MAN ATTRACTED TO WOMEN, OR A WOMAN ATTRACTED TO MEN. CIS AND TRANS PEOPLE CAN BE HETEROSEXUAL, AS IT’S ABOUT THE GENDER YOU IDENTIFY AS AND THE GENDER YOU’RE ATTRACTED TO, NOT THE ONE YOU WERE BORN WITH.

ASEXUAL SPECTRUM

ASEXUALITY IS THE TERM FOR PEOPLE WHO DON’T EXPERIENCE SEXUAL ATTRACTION, AND THE SPECTRUM REFERS TO DIFFERENT WAYS IN WHICH PEOPLE EXPERIENCE LESS SEXUAL ATTRACTION THAN THE NORM. SOME PEOPLE MAY ONLY EXPERIENCE SEXUAL ATTRACTION AFTER MANY MONTHS OR YEARS OF KNOWING SOMEONE, AND SOME MAY NEVER EXPERIENCE IT. SOME MAY BE WILLING TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY EVEN IF IT DOESN’T INTEREST THEM, AND SOME MAY NOT.

GENDER IDENTITY SEX

YOUR SEX IS THE BIOLOGICAL COMBINATION OF YOUR BODILY ORGANS, HORMONES, AND CHROMOSOMES. SEX AND GENDER ARE ASSOCIATED, BUT NOT THE SAME NOR INTERCHANGEABLE.

GENDER EXPRESSION

YOUR GENDER EXPRESSION IS HOW YOU PRESENT YOURSELF TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD, AND HOW THAT LINKS TO THE WAY YOU EXPERIENCE YOUR OWN GENDER.

14 15 16 17 18 19

THEY/THEM/THEIRS

A SET OF GENDER-NEUTRAL PRONOUNS IS USED BY SOME NONBINARY OR GENDERQUEER PEOPLE TO IDENTIFY THEMSELVES IN THE THIRD PERSON. SEE MORE ABOUT GENDER-NEUTRAL THIRD-PERSON PRONOUNS IN OUR BLOG ON THE SUBJECT.

GENDER ASSIGNED AT BIRTH

THIS IS THE GENDER THAT GETS ASSIGNED TO YOU WHEN YOU’RE BORN, BASED ON YOUR SEX ORGANS AND CHROMOSOMES.

CISGENDER

YOUR EXPERIENCED GENDER ALIGNS WITH THE GENDER YOU WERE ASSIGNED AT BIRTH.

TRANSGENDER

A PERSON WHOSE GENDER IS NOT THE SAME AS THE ONE THEY WERE ASSIGNED AT BIRTH. IT IS NOT ALWAYS OBVIOUS IF A TRANSGENDER PERSON IS A MAN, WOMAN OR NON-BINARY. IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO ASK A PERSON'S GENDER NO MATTER IF THEY ARE TRANSGENDER, CISGENDER OR NON-BINARY.

NONBINARY (OR NON-BINARY)

YOUR EXPERIENCED GENDER DOESN’T ALIGN WITH EITHER TRADITIONALLY ASSIGNED GENDER, ONLY LINES UP WITH ONE OF THEM SOMETIMES, OR ALIGNS WITH BOTH AND MORE. THE TERMS GENDERQUEER AND AGENDER CAN HAVE SIMILAR BUT MORE NUANCED ASSOCIATIONS.

GENDER NONCONFORMING

BROADER THAN NONBINARY, YOUR GENDER EXPRESSION DOESN’T CORRESPOND TO THE GENDER YOU WERE ASSIGNED AT BIRTH. YOU MAY STILL IDENTIFY AS A WOMAN, BUT YOU MAY DRESS ONLY IN MEN’S CLOTHES, FOR EXAMPLE, OR YOU MAY PRESENT IN A WAY THAT DOESN’T ALIGN WITH SOCIETY’S IDEA OF MALE OR FEMALE.

20 21 22 23 24 25 26

AGENDER

YOU EXPERIENCE NO ATTACHMENT TO ANY GENDER.

INTERSEX

YOUR SEXUAL ORGANS DON’T FALL WITHIN THE SEXUAL BINARY.

Misgender

The act of misgendering someone is the act of deliberately or accidentally referring to someone by the wrong gender assignation.

Transition

Transition, for a trans person, could start and end with coming out as a new gender—or it could mean a life of gender-affirming hormone replacement therapy and surgery. Transition is a process, and it’s different for every trans person. No one needs to complete a specific set of steps to have transitioned.

Two-spirit

Native American identity in which one person contains female and male spirits within them. Learn more about the history of two spirit identity.

Gender expansive

The feeling of expanding in your gender experience beyond current notions of gender identity, and not wanting to limit your identity to one or another.

Gender dysphoria

The feeling of your appearance or outside perception of yourself not matching your gender identity. This can be treated through transition, but trans people could experience this in different ways for their whole lives.

BEING LGBTQIA+

27 28 29 30 31

Coming out

Coming out is a unique process for every LGBTQIA+ person. It’s not a requirement for any person to come out in public. Coming out, like all things, is a process—often the first time you come out to is yourself—and you may come out multiple times in your life as you meet new people and learn more about yourself.

Living openly

Living openly is the choice to live as your authentic self—to live as an LGBTQIA+ person in spite of harassment and oppression.

Outing

The practice of revealing someone else’s sexuality or gender identity without their consent.

Pride

A celebration of standing open in one’s own identity against oppression, beginning with the Stonewall Riots of 1969. From a time when gay and trans clubs were raided by police regularly to now, Pride Month is a celebration of how far we have come, a remembrance of where we came from, and a reminder of how far we have yet to go.

Ally

Someone who supports the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community through action.

Find out more about how you can take action to support your LGBTQIA+ loved ones

Imagine a world without BEES?

PLANT FLOWERS TOHELP SAVE BEES Do your part in helping the bees and protecting our environment. #ForTheFuture

Latobyve Pozie 0766127704

@latobyve

@pozie

Sex after 50 – The Golden Age Of Sex – Myth or Magic by: Glynis Mcgee

Sex after 50 is immersed in misconceptions. Secret Corner investigates the myth and the magic of the golden age of sex.

Judging by media fallacy of intimacy, it seems that sex is really only enjoyed for those in their 20’s or if we are lucky, we might get to enjoy sex after 35! Nothing is further from the truth. Sex at midlife is indeed a subject that is mired somewhere between myth and magic. Most who have reached this golden age, are more than happy to kiss their 20’s goodbye and revel in the lusty glow of Vesuvius Eruptus!

There is no age limit to sexuality. Sexual satisfaction depends each individual. The quality of the relationship and more importantly, the quality of their relationship with themselves. In a recent survey it was reported that people from the age of 60 and over, who have regular intercourse, at least 74% find that their sex lives are more gratifying than when they were in their forties.

More tips from Secret Corner here

As women age, there are hormone changes.

Lack of oestrogen is said to play a role in sexual desire or libido. The vagina does shorten and narrow with the lack of oestrogen, but if there is regular penetration, and the use of repairing lubricants, and intimate discussions with partners, there is no reason that, because hormone levels are dropping, sex needs or should or be expected to drop too. With the plethora of sex toys for ladies, the vagina has every reason to stay healthy, lubricated and pulse with as much pleasure as she wants.

The fact is, most women find that their sex drive and the sexual responses are heightened after menopause as a result to many factors. One being that there is a shift in the ratio of testosterone to oestrogen and progesterone. Most women find increased sexual pleasure, including more intense and frequent orgasms after menopause.

Myth or Magic There is also a lot of misconception about erectile dysfunction too. Erectile dysfunction is NOT a pre-requisite or natural part of men aging; and gents, you don’t have to live with it. ED is common among “older” men, but it is not a given fact and there is no likely reason that men cenjoy fully functional sex as they age.

Erectile dysfunction is not restricted to men over the age of 50.

There are medical issues like diabetes, high blood-pressure and general bad lifestyle choices that effect men younger than 40.

But that does not mean that men cannot be fully sexually functional, with countless options to choose from, there is something that will ease the pressure and give men a healthy sexual performance.

We have discovered, that the use of a penis pump is by far the best treatment to use. There are always risks of contraindications when taking tablets, however, the use of a penis pump brings blood directly to the surface of the penis, coupled with a penis ring, a strong erection is maintained, without needing to take tablets. There are also creams, serums and sprays – tablets are a plenty, however, we always insist absolute honesty with customers. Various medications for high blood pressure and sugar diabetes can cause ED, as professionals, we have a responsibility to ensure that our customers are not rushed to the emergency room with dangerously elevated blood pressure or other issues that can happen when on medication, mixed with herbal blends suggested. So, ensure you are honest with your supplier. There are masses of tablets, each serve a different purpose. Choose wisely.

The prostate gland has a very important job. It produces the milky fluid that becomes part of semen. Although not a big gland, about the size of a walnut, it will create problems if something goes awry. The prostate gland is situated below the bladder and in front of the rectum and wraps around the upper area of the urethra. It is a rule of thumb, that men suffering from prostate health issues, erectile dysfunction will almost certainly occur.

Prostate health has led to a myriad of sexual ideals that are pleasing. The use of a prostate massager has opened an intense subject of men enjoying anal penetration. By massaging the “P Spot”, encourages and enhances erection and is said to give mind-blowing orgasms. This has opened Pandoras Box in men openly enjoying anal penetration.

Although it is said that at least 74% of men could suffer erectile dysfunction, most men NEVER do.

When older couples don’t have regular sex, this is invariably a personal choice, or a partner has a disability. This should not ever deter sexual experimentation.

Naturally, sex is not going to be the same as it was in your 20’s or 30’s, but the changes will not be negative. Once a woman has passed through menopause and pregnancy is no longer a risk, couples relax and look forward to lovemaking. And, there is a rejuvenating power of masturbation, so explore both solo and paired masturbation. Healthy sexual functioning stimulates your major endocrine axis and nervous system, boosting cognitive functions, memory and boosts all those happy endorphins the ever-loving oxytocin.

As we age, we become more accepting to our bodies and hopefully have managed to work out how to communicate your sexual ideals to one another. Sex is and will continue to be more emotionally fulfilling with age.

Welcome to the age of Golden Sex!

DIET DIET DIET DIET DIET DIET DIET DIET DIET CULTURE

How can the ultimate glow up be a measure when you have no clue of their wellbeing?

"You’ve lost weight" ...is not a compliment?

Which diet are you on right now? Cabbage soup? Clean eating? Sugar-free? The beginning of the year and the beginning of Spring are rife with talks of dieting, the goal of shedding some kilos or attaining ‘body goals. It is accepted as normal because we live in a dieting culture. Diet culture is a system of beliefs that prioritises weight loss over wellbeing at all costs. Diet culture affirms certain bodies and vilifies others, it presumes to know what is healthy and what is not. All the while deepening a toxic relationship between people and food. Diet Culture is dangerous and harms people of all sizes, by perpetuating eating disorders and making a full recovery almost impossible. When it comes to identifying Diet Culture in a world that has a prevalence, there can be plenty of confusion. What we need to look out for is food shaming, body shaming and health discrimination. What do these have to do with dieting? Keep reading.

Food shaming comes from an idealised healthy lifestyle.

Eating healthy food full of nutrition is important. There is room for all types of foods when you develop a healthy relationship with food. This idealisation leads to judging what is on your own or someone else’s plate. You may hear “I could never eat that much pap” and “Are you sure you want to eat bread with slap chips?” this type of selftalk or commentary implies that you are too fat, or you should be afraid of gaining weight. It typically stems from moral belief systems about food and nutrition. Diet culture can be disguised as wellness when there is that same sense of virtue or morality associated with a specific or strict way of eating.

There is a general feeling of intense scrutiny for what— and how much—we are eating. Diet culture is not concerned about nutritional needs, preferences, and accessibility. Current fads include clean eating or avoiding sugar with no consideration on who can afford and have access to fresh foods and ignore the social determinants of health. Food-shaming comments in the name of health often have negative consequences. Each person has their own history and needs when it comes to food, and these uninvited comments can be upsetting or even triggering.

It postures weight loss as a means of attaining higher status. Diet culture worships thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue. You can spend your whole life thinking you need fixing to look like “ideal.” Then you may feel compelled to spend a massive amount of time, energy, and money trying to shrink your body, even though we have seen all around us people who have not been able to sustain weight loss for more than a few years. It is oppressive to people who don’t match up with its supposed picture of “health,” most affected are women, trans folks, femmes, people in larger bodies, black people, and people with disabilities, damaging both their mental and physical health.

Diet culture can be disguised as wellness when there is that same sense of virtue or morality associated with a specific or strict way of eating.

Diet culture is so firmly entrenched in weight stigma that even healthcare professionals often substitute fatphobia for actual diagnoses, and substitute diets for the evidence-based interventions that a thin person with the same health issues would receive. The Body Mass Index (BMI) was a concept by a European astronomer that only used one group of people as a measure of what ‘acceptable weight is’. BMI is now being used by doctors even insurance practitioners as a measure of a healthy body. The relationship between diet culture, fatphobia and health discrimination is irrefutable. Health practitioners assume that fat people are inherently sick.

Without any investigation, fat patients are constantly advised to lose weight and this would mean one begins to diet. Even in this time of Covid_19, weight is flagged as a condition that can exacerbate ill-health once the infection has taken place …but is it?

Now nobody is saying be reckless with your health. What is important is a sound relationship between you, food and health…not weight. What does that look like?

01 02 03 04 05

Reject the diet mentality!

I’m sure you or someone you know has been on some sort of diet that worked temporarily, but all weight, plus more, was eventually gained back. There will always be a new diet or miracle program being advertised that promises to be different from the last one you tried, offering false hope that it will actually work long term. Sorry to tell you that this is not the case!

Instead, focus on eating well-balanced meals and snacks using fresh ingredients, cook as much as possible, enjoy many plant-based foods, and limit heavily processed/packaged items.

Consider added sugar, salt, saturated fat, and alcohol as “sometimes foods.” It’s about proper nourishment, not restriction. Restricting calorie intake below your needs, or depriving yourself of your favourite foods, can actually promote weight gain.

Honour your hunger and fullness cues.

With our busy schedules and hectic lives, we have lost touch with our internal cues of hunger and fullness. By not paying attention or feeling these cues, we can so quickly go from feeling ravenous (reaching for anything in sight) to overly-stuffed (food coma). Throughout the day, take a moment to think “it’s been a few hours since my last meal, am I feeling hungry?” Don’t ignore your hunger just because you know the next meal is in a few hours. Eating slowly and mindfully will allow you to feel when you are getting full (about 7/10 on the hunger-fullness scale). Honouring these cues can help us make better food choices, control portions, and adequately nourish our body.

Eat mindfully.

How many of you scarf down your breakfast as you’re running out the door, sit at your work desk while eating lunch, or eat in front of the TV during dinner? Do you really taste your food and note the satisfaction that it brings you in these distracting environments? Are you able to note when you’re starting to get full? Mindless eating often leads to an unenjoyable experience, overeating, or feelings of intense cravings later on. Take even 10 minutes to slowly eat your meal, mindfully, distraction-free- I promise you’ll notice a difference!

Don’t let food define you.

You are not a good person for eating a salad, or a bad person for ordering dessert. All foods fit in a healthy, balanced lifestyle. Your self-worth is more defined by your personality, accomplishments, relationships, values, how you treat others, etc., not by your food choices.

Diet culture may tell us that our self-worth is determined by how we look in comparison to one standard of external beauty. We need to say a big F U to them and not give in! Give yourself unconditional permission to enjoy the foods that you love (in a mindful, guilt-free manner) without feeling like your self-worth is compromised in the act.

Be adventurous!

Get creative in the kitchen, try a new restaurant, or have a co-worker make you a cultural dish.

You don’t always have to follow a recipe- just wing it! The more you expand your food choices and are exposed to new flavours, the more enjoyable food can become. The WORST that can happen from trying new food is that you temporarily have a bad taste in your mouth. With any aspect in life, the only way to grow is to get out of your comfort zone, and the same philosophy can be applied to food.

These tips just scratch the surface of building or rebuilding a positive relationship with food. The underlying issues may be deep and multifactorial and will take time to overcome. No matter what my patients are coming to see me for, the goal is to always have them view food as nourishing and enjoyable, not something to fear. I am always here to help you improve your relationship with food and provide support with every step of the way.

Lebogang Ramafoko

By: Precious Lesupi

For Lebo, growing up in a home that is not patriarchal did not seem exceptional. “Growing up, the person I was really afraid of was my mom. She was loud, probably as loud as I am, and she had a very sharp tongue. The person I identified as my nurturer, was my dad,” she explained. What became very clear for her was the fact that the way that the churches, schools or society’s idea of family structure were completely different from her reality. The notion that the man is the head and cannot be questioned, and women are nurturers was just not a lived experience for her. For a very long time, Lebo did not have the vocabulary for it, that is; such as feminism, patriarchy. “I just knew that it was weird, that kind of family structure you know. For instance, I found it weird that a father or a man eats a certain piece of meat,” she said.

Although she experienced the best parts of her father, the relationship they had was not the same for her siblings and everyone else in her household. “My mother, a nurse, worked night shifts a lot”, Lebo continued. “Those evenings were my favourite. My father would get home and cook, and if he ate, he would read the newspaper with me on his lap,” she remembers. According to Lebo, the things that mattered to her was not what patriarchy says the value of a father is- the provider. What mattered most to her was his presence. The one thing evidently present for Lebo was the unconditional love her father afforded her.

As she endevoured to understand feminism, she realizes that there are a lot of things she must unlearn. “My mother was interesting, because my mother was very patriarchal,” Lebo mentions. In fact, she believes it messed with her mother's mind that the father was not acting the patriarchal provider role. Being a parent at 20, while still in university opened her eyes wider, as she recalls. In Lebo’s home, her mother was irritated often because her father would not conform to behaving like your usual cultural and patriarchal man. “She would say things like, she wishes there was a man in the house because she would not have to hire someone to cut the grass. My mom was the most loved and spoiled woman though.

Women like Winifred Nomzamo Madikizela-Mandela become exceptional as she speaks about her upbringing and her interest in stick fighting -it would seem her father had encouraged her. “Women are forced (for lack of a better word) to socialize other women into good girls and good mothers and good women. It is never a role that fathers and men must grapple with, mothers grapple with this.” The people who can give permission to defiance because they are not held to the same standard are fathers. This can not be without a mother who says; do not stray too far because there is still a patriarchal society to answer to.

“Women are forced (for lack of a better word) to socialize other women into good girls and good mothers and good women. It is never a role that fathers and men must grapple with, mothers grapple with this.”

“During my graduation, my father spoke for the first

She chuckles as she realises how early she found her

time about how disappointed he was when I fell

voice. At a time when women could hide their liquor in

pregnant and it pierced my heart. When I came

coffee mug and hide in bedrooms to drink, talk she was

home pregnant, it didn’t occur to me because he

on her fathers lap outside speaking while men were

was very excited when my daughter was born as

speaking. Oscillating between being liked for speaking

well,” she recalls. Lebo was already cognisant of

her mind and ke tla o klapa( I will smack you) for

how her mother felt about her pregnancy, but it hit

speaking her mind. With time one learn where its

her like a ton of bricks when she realized she’d

valued and when it can get you into trouble.

done the one thing she’d tried to avoid all her life, disappointing her dad. This says where parenting is

Lebo recognised pivotal moments in her life where she

concerned

was steered into spaces that were spiritually protective

women

are

held

responsible

for

enforcing patriarchal norms and we put value and

and

nurturing.

worth in their ability to do so. Therefore when a girl

University of Zululand at Ongoye- Empangeni after the

child comes home pregnant, it is the woman who

massacre. She was thrust into that space at 18 years old

feels judged for being a bad parent.

with

a

loud

One

voice

is

and

being

no

admitted

life

skills.

into

She

the

first

experienced alopecia (hair condition) and had to leave.

Lebo reflects on being a single mother, and her

She recognises this as a turning point because her

eldest is a girl, and being concerned about similar

voice would have been stifled or she may have been

things. She did not want her daughter to be

killed there. She then returned to Gauteng and moved

pregnant at an early age. She already knew that

on to the University of Witwatersrand. At the time

being pregnant outside of wedlock already had her

there was something called the Pink Panther- where

branded “ a woman who could not keep a man” and

boys would walk girls back to their rooms at night.

therefore a bad woman.

When they can gauge that the girls have changed into

“I mean my other area of life that I have struggled with has been about my weight, my own sense of beauty. When I see body positivity and sex positivity I'm like, yeah!

pyjamas they would knock and rape them. Lebo brought this up with the house mother and she was asked to write about it for the Mail and Guardian. This was a further affirmation of her voice.

On growing pains Lebogang recalls; “In my 20s , I just wanted to

“ I want a life of ease, where all my dreams are realisable without fear. A life where I am valued, not because of anything but because I'm human… and I matter.Where love manifeststhat my friendships are loving and nurturing. I want my sex to be loving and nurturing. The men in my life, the children in my life are loving and nurturing. I want to have the extreme freedom to express who I am without fear.”

be a patriarchy princess. I wanted to not talk too much. I wanted to get married. I just wanted somebody to make me a decent woman out of me. Marry me and all of that.” For her it was her truth that spoke much louder when she met somebody, and she realized that they were not good for her. The 30s were not easy either, understanding the notion white supremacy capitalistic, patriarchal world in the fact that when you are trying to make money and buy your first car, buy your first apartment, feed your children, there is very little left for self care. In her 40s she felt a lot more developed in her career and then you realize the scars that she had from her 20s and your 30s. She decided that all the negative self-talk is not going to do her any good. Wanting to conform does not do much because the goalposts have shifted forever.. The 50s are it for her! The children are grown, she can reinvent and become whoever she pleases. Her time now belongs to her. Reflecting on time and age Lebo speaks of starting one’s self-healing and self- care as soon as they can.

So who is Lebo the lover? Lebo the lover is complex because she brings in a lot of her own vulnerabilities. She is naive, because she has believed all sorts of stories from all sorts of men. She has spent a lot of her life unsure if she is worthy of love because there have been a lot instances including being a feminist, where patriarchy said we are going to show you. She demands nurturing and vulnerability that many men do not have. Even in meeting the typical patriarchs who wants to simply provide, she finds them empty and shallow. Even the ones with no fancy cars and money have no depth. Men have been taught that love is about conquering “They are so suspicious that they break you down. That say,ok you may be CEO or have all this money but I will screw four other women to show you you're not worthy,.. that is how they conquer you.” bell hooks, makes very interesting points about what she calls the failure for feminism. It has enabled women to really articulate systemic changes that must happen, they're out there.

But it has not at all helped women to navigate day to day lives.

She was talking about how women really struggle in their own relationships, because the thing that they are teaching out there can not be found in their home and lives. There is no reward for men who give up power.

There are some everyday wins though.When she looks back, she sees that younger women are now able to ask what they want and it is clear the struggle is not in vain. “I mean my other area of life that I have struggled with has been about my weight, my own sense of beauty. When I see body positivity and sex positivity I'm like, yeah! I'm also owning my sex just for myself, in my own private space with recognizing that I'm a sexual being.

This is something that many women are socialized to believe to be taboo.” When Lebo turned 50, she did a boudoir photoshoot.

She absolutely loved it and you are looking at it.

Nurtured

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My experience of my mom; She was self-sufficient and independent. We were not very close, she had me when she was 47 years old. She was strict but she also allowed me to express myself. My favourite experience of her was she was very fashionable, always dragging people in the family…like why would you wear those shoes with that bag. (laughs) She loved and took care of herself, she had an hour long skin routine. She was meticulous and particular. Her selfmaintenance was so intentional and lengthy and she clearly loved herself more than anyone…every day. The older I get is the more I look like her and I’m just like wow I’m really turning into this lady. The way engizothanda ngakhona( love myself)…I have older sibling and they say I talk exactly like her. Yeah, that was my girl.

Love is:

Beautiful. Love is being shown that you are valued in creative way, in different ways and everyday...being cared for. It is fighting for what is good, worth keeping. It is choosing yourself. Loving is knowing what you can and cannot do for someone else. A wash through your body when you embrace someone. It’s butterflies in your tummy every day. Argh I’m thinking about my crush now dzaaaaaaaaamn

. e c n eir e p x e s’ a cir f A h t u o S f o e vi t a t n e s er p er t o n si ai d e m l aic o s e s u a c e b tr o f m o c a o t ni d ell ul e b t o n n a c e W . o s t o n si ti d n a ec n eir e p x e e m a s e h t s a h e n o yr e v e s n a e m e f a s g ni e b ai d e m l a i c o s m o rf s t n e v e d n a e c a p s e f a s a g n i e b a i d e m l a i c o s t a h t e n i g a m i e W . n o i t a l u p o p e ht f o % 5 t s u j s i d n a y r t n u o c e r i t n e e h t t n e s e r p e r a i d e m l a i c o s n o e l p o e p k n i ht e W . s e c a p s l a r t n e c o t d e t i m i l e b t o n d l u o h s s s ecc a f o d ni k t a h T .l ar ur d n a s pi h s n w o t - yr t n u o c e h t f o s tr a p t n er e f fi d ni el p o e p o t el bi s s ecc a er o m e d a m e b o t d e e n t c e p s er d n a e g a u g n al , s e c a p s e s e h T . n o sr e p r e e u q r o n a m o w a s a e c a p s e f a s a o g o t e h ci n y r e v s i t I . e g a u g n a l ot s s e c c a d e e n e W . s s e c c a e v a h t ’ n o d o h w e s o h t r o f e s r o w e h t s i s p u o r g n i at r e c r o f r e t t e b t e g d n a p o l e v e d s g n i h t e r o m e h T . e vi t a mr o n or e t e h d n a r e d n e g - si c er a o h w el p o e p t s uj t o n , ef a s l e e f o t e l p o e p e r o m s e l b a n e s m r e t d n a e g a u g n a l w e n g n i p o l e v e D . k a e p s o t d e s u e w w o h o t d er a p m o c p e t s e g u h a si t a h t d n a s ei ti t n e di r e d n e g t n er e f fi d f o t n e m e g d el w o n k c a ni d e s s er g or p d n a d e g n a h c s a h e s u e w e g a u g n al e h T . s e c a p s e f a s er o m t ol a d e v ei h c a e v’ e W

afraid of losing.

Ever since I lost her, I have not felt like there’s anyone else I’d be without it. Actually my story started when I lost my mom in 2019. never been so attached to anything that I felt I cannot live come back feeling loved. I’ve never regretted any relationship. I’ve All the heartbreak I’ve felt has never had me down and out, so I and joy. My friends, my work lift me up…even me, I lift myself up.

I go through heartbreak I have other sources of healing, strength to be my only source of happiness, home of strength of joy. Even if I learnt at a very young age that a romantic partner is not going

Through time and struggle woman and queer people have… . yli s a e o s s e s s e c c a n a m e ti h w er c oi d e m a t a ht e c n a t r o p m i e ht l e e f o t s e v r e s e d e n o y r e v E . l a c i t i r c s i y t e i c o s ni el p o e p dl o h , k a e p s , t n e s er p e w w o H . ai d e m d n a s e c a p s e g a u g n al n i yt ef a s d n u o r a e r a s n o i s s a p y M . s k c a b r i e h t n o t e g r a t a e k i l t o n e r a s e i t i t n e d i r e d n e g r i e ht t a h t w o n k e l p o e p e r u s n e o t n o i t a d i l a v d n a y t e f a s s m r i ff a t a ht e g a u g n a l g n i s u d n a g n i n r a e L . n o s r e p r e e u q r o f r a l u c i t r a p n o i t a r e d i s n o c d n a yt ef a S . e f a s n u g n i l e e f t u o h t i w s e i t i t n e d i l a u x e s d n a r e d n e g r i e ht s s e r p x e ot e l b a g n i e b e l p o e p t u o b a e t a n o i s s a p t s o m m a I

Identity

I fall in love quickly, hard with my all. I am not afraid of heart break because I know I’ll bounce back. I have had heartbreak before but I have never felt like that would stop me from pursuing love, pursuing a relationship. I am currently not in a relationship, I’m focused my work and building myself up. That done, I know love is for me. I’m mostly into woman but some men can get it. I’m like a bisexual lesbian (chuckles). I’m a woman who loves women but can enjoy sex with men. I love intensely.

Currently I have a crush and its crushing me. I don’t care that it might end in tears. I live in the moment, it is not about looking on the other side. It is about the time. I’m very sexual, very affectionate. My love languages are physical touch and quality time. I have been in a lot of relationship, right now my career is what is happening. I am always ready to fall into something.

Ponahalo the Lover vI am not mono-passionate. I get different joy and satisfaction from different things that I do. I am very restless as a person, spend part of my day writing and article, another taking pictures and end it by preparing a set to DJ. I am living the dream to be honest. I cannot wait to do this at a larger scale and get more money and share it with other people.

Life's Work FEBRUARY 2020 | ISSUE 10

Latobyve Wardrobe by:

goatcreatives.co.za Photographed by:

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As a child

My Feminism believes that women must do whatever they want to do – that empowers them.

Whether its modesty, marriage, being a mother, being in revealing clothing or singing about sex. That women should be able to live and behave however they want to without judgement and restriction so long as they are not hurting anyone.

None should bash anyone for what empowers them.

PONAHALO MOJAPELO "I AM NOT MONO-PASSIONATE. I GET DIFFERENT JOY AND SATISFACTION FROM DIFFERENT THINGS THAT I DO."

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Rashida’s tale tells the story of our own flaws, toxicity’s and vulnerabilities. It is particularly refreshing to hear the experiences of queer women in relationships because majority of music only caters to the heteronormative perspective.

Sullivan’s inclusion of queer relationships breaks that norm in mainstream R&B. Beyond the painful tale of the consequences of infidelity, we see the healthy response to that infidelity, something we sometimes don’t see in cisheterosexual relationships. Rashida’s tale gives us a safe space to reflect on our own mistakes and to take accountability without the fear of a disproportionate response to our mistakes (i.e. the potential of being emotionally or physically abused) by cis-het men in the quest to humble us.

This is not claim that queer relationships don’t experience harmful reactions but Rashida’s tale offers a different normal to what is often experienced in cis-het relationships. Lost one, a personal favourite, allows to mourn a relationship even when we are at fault. ‘Try not to love no-one, I know that is too much to ask, I know I’m a selfish b*tch but I want to know I have been working on it. I know it don’t matter, yeah I know.' Lost One shows us that even when we are at fault, we can be heartbroken by our own actions and the consequences that come from those actions. Bad decisions don’t negate your love for someone and very often it forgotten its still okay to mourn relationships even when we are at fault.

Amanda’ tale and Girl like ft H.E.R conclude the album and highlight these contradictions that live within us. On one hand we able to see the power we have when we have agency over our bodies and how we able to negotiate our own need, wants and interests using that power.

However, that at times that power over bodies is often use to masquerade our insecurities of whether we enough beyond what we can with our bodies. Perhaps it’s still part of the process of reimagining ourselves in relationships that decentre the male gaze.

Ultimately Heaux Tales is an album thatoffers a virtual space where women have the freedom to be human. In this virtual space we are safe, heard and seen.

se l a T x e u a H

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the song itself allows us to enjoy the power of our femininity and sensuality and be vocal about our desires even when it is unorthodox

Notable tracks like “Bodies” which begin with ‘B*tch get it together’ candidly explore reckless behaviour and bad decision making. The track itself is a vibe but in the same breath makes one wonder whether a place exists in this world where we can experience our reckless phases without the fear of harm. Sullivan sings ‘I keep on pressing on my luck’ is a gentle reminder that even when we living our best carefree lives, we are subconsciously aware that at any point things could go horribly wrong. Even in our carefree lives, we find ourselves limited because of men’s entitlement to our bodies.

.....

Ari’s Tale and On it featuring Ari Lennox are lighthearted reminders of how toxic we can be when our sexual needs are met, that we are even willing to briefly lose ourselves in those experiences.

More importantly whilst ‘On it’ has us belting ‘Curves has you driving reckless, take this water and hydrate b*tch!’ the song itself allows us to enjoy the power of our femininity and sensuality and be vocal about our desires even when it is unorthodox. Coupled with Donna’s tale, the tracks explore how women use their sensualities to negotiate their interests in relationships. Donna’s tale interrogated why single women are often judged for how they negotiate their interests in relationships when married women negotiate their interests in the same way. Women using men to get what they want is not exclusive to single women but married women too. ‘You have sex because you know your husband is gonna give you what the f*** you want the next day.’ Whilst it is a reminder that even in marriage, women will centre the male ego to get what they need, it also shows us how women use body/sex positivity language to reclaim their agency. However, when Donna’s tale speaks to the ‘othering’ that often happens. The belief that marriage automatically makes you above single women and married engage in transactional sex in marriage is different to women who aren’t married. The beauty of Donna’s tale uses language that is accessible to the everyday woman. Whilst Donna’s Tale along with Price tags point out how we use our bodies and femininity to get what we want, it is also a reflection to tread carefully in not using sex positivity and language then judging women who have been behind that

Once in a while an artist comes through and delivers an album that transcends being just a compilation of music that we belt out but becomes a body of work worthy of think pieces. ‘Heaux Tales’ is an album that centres women outside the limitations of patriarchal societies place. The central themes of the album facilitate a space where the music is open to personal interpretation because what is art if we aren’t able to interrogate what it means to us. Ms Sullivan takes on a journey where we experience the rollercoaster ride of our decision makings, our flaws and vulnerabilities.

T r ig g e r w arn i n g : c o ntai t h is a r t ic n s st r o le n g l a nguag e.

In this album, Ms Sullivan speaks to women outside the male gaze with thought provoking dialogues preceding the music.

For Instance, Antoinette’s tale articulates the overarching theme, the agency over our bodies, by reflecting on how men relate to women in casual/serious relationships. “Niggers cannot handle when women take the same liberties as them” and further says “They forget we are sexual beings too.” How many of our experiences have been centred on catering to fragile male egos whilst we receive little pleasure? Our conditioning enforces that women’s roles in relationships is to submit and please men so they are able to stay. Our experiences in our relationships, specifically, Cis heterosexual relationships, we find ourselves withstanding unbearable amount of pain just so our loyalty and love is valued. Our maturity in this world coincides with us discovering who we are and what we want in order for us to be able live a happy life. ften when we hit our twenties and our thirties, we have to unlearn much of the patriarchal conditioning imposed on us. Society never affords women the space needed to experience themselves outside the limitations of the patriarchal society we exist in. We find ourselves relearning our own bodies and what they respond to, moreover we find ourselves navigating and ultimately moving past the religious and cultural guilt we feel when we start taking steps in identifying the types of relationships, we want to be in. There is a growing generation of women demanding more than the crumbs society offers.

Furthermore, a growing awareness of the importance of prioritising their own happiness, their bodies, their dreams, and general desires. Beyond this Antoinette’s Tale is a reminder that despite the fragility of men’s egos, women can have real freedom and ownership over their bodies in order to enjoy the relationships they partake in.

“Niggers cannot handle when women take the same liberties as them” and further says “They forget we are sexual beings too.” How many of our experiences have been centred on catering to fragile male egos whilst we receive little pleasure?

selaT xuaeH

NAVIGATING THE NEEDS OF OUR BODIES OUTSIDE THE MALE GAZE By : Lindelwe Dube

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YOU DON'T NEED TO RUSH.

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“Two weeks before my period, I would become severely depressed. I barely got any sleep, I felt completely k*k. I would spend all that time wanting to die. What made it worse is how everybody called me a drama queen.

From the age of 15, absolutely no support because -please man everyone has PMS. When it clears it is like the weird afternoon rain that leaves the water running and suddenly the sky clears.”

Trigger Warning!

This article is concerning PMDD

PREMENSTRUAL

DYSPHORIC disorder

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THE SCIENCE BEHIND A VASECTOMY

Vasectomy

Vasectomy

Stay safe... ...this Valentine

TYPES OF CONTRCEPTION

Keep you and your lover safe this valentines day Source: The better health channel

Use a condom.

Get tested before being intimate with a new partner.

Consent is sexy.

Use contrception, in addition to a condom.

Communicate with your partner.

@romantix_linge

@RomantixSA @Romantix_SA

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PETALS PERIOD BOX

Petals Period Store

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Here is everything that you need and something you may want to make your period a bit more bareable.

Love, Petal Period Box

Keep Safe in Cyberspace 01. Keep personal info to yourself

Everything can be made public on the internet, so avoid spreading personal information.

02. Check your privacy settings

Look through your web browsers and make the appropriate changes to your settings.

03. Be mindful of what you download

Make sure what you're putting in your system is safe, secure, and authorized by you.

04. Be wary of your "friends"

It's easy to lie online, so make sure who you're talking to is truthful about themselves.

05. Get a good antivirus program

An antivirus program keeps unwanted applications from infiltrating your system.

Let's make the internet safe for all!

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An interview with Jonathan Hames, the world's most innovative person.

ON REIMAGINING REST WHILE CARVING THE FUTURE: “The reality is, so many of us are stretched out, exhausted and sad and have mental health issues. Even when we encourage people to do self-care; they are expensive and do not heal the parts of us that hurt. For me, it is recognizing that we are lonely and not feeling ok with the way

THE LOVER:

things are going… feeling a bit hopeless.

Acknowledging that portions of the strides I made were part of the notion of a strong black

care for me as much as I want to care for other

all. She tries to live in service of creating a society that cares.

on the self. I need people. People who want to

ways we’ve been able to carve that out of immense pain and exploitation against

for more structures of care that are not centered

work, which is that she loves black people, she loves Africa, the beauty and the

The needs are equally legitimate. There’s a need

driving need not to eat in isolation has always foreground the reason she does this

are parts that are not and they are equally noble.

important actors in the economy, we live it and that it is ours to redefine. The

see that this is how I got here. It’s shiny, but there

collective may see their role in dismantling an alienating economy, that we are an

the growing and get sh*t together. Stopping to

imagination about what it can be becomes tangible. Her hope is that the feminist

informed by trauma. It is the trauma that caused

inaccessible, co-creating a space where the economy belongs to all and our

of transformation and change and growing

Dismantling the barriers that make the language of economics elitist and

well put together. Being a director at 33, the pace

using her technical knowledge in service of civil society collectives and movements.

woman who has her sh*t together, independent

“Everything I do is in service of this radical love.” Loving for social justice meant

people. Whilst we are campaigning and putting out pieces of knowledge, building, solidarity for She

complexity.

relative privilege. Providing space for rest, flexibility, opportunities as well as

This future we have endearment for is tied up in

the maximum income possible including medical aid – made possible by her

everything, even for itself.”

redistributing her income transparently. Ensuring that her domestic helper receives

capitalism. It is individualism. No self can do

active citizen in the community. Knowing that it is not within everybody’s capability;

and the only one who can. That is the lie of

children around her and loving the community she is in. Showing up and being an

emphasis on the ‘self’ being all knowing, all caring

comings. Parenting not just her daughter but herself, loving the collective of

daughter is cared for. Moving away from the

justice. Being a feminist parent and openly reflecting on her failures and short

mine. To be offered rest and be certain my

parent, child, as a community member, -applying the ethos of love and social

care services, people there who care for me and

strives to act consistently through love across all spheres of her life; as a

discussion and disagreement.

EVE'S APPLE THE MAG | ISSUE 10 |

FEBRUARY2022

MASANA MULAUDZI BY: KANYISA BOOI

THE ECONOMIST

THE SOCIAL CHANGE ACTIVIST Very early on Masana decided that her calling and heart was for a socially just and equitable world that prioritizes the love and celebration of black women. This was informed by a traumatizing upbringing and stories of the bodies of black women being sites of racial transgression, child abuse, and domestic violence. “...navigating the fear of alienation that we are forced to feel towards ourselves as black women.” reflects Masana. As she studied, much of her cohesion and coherence was around how to tell the story of how to rebuild a socially just world, while being in pain and imperfect. This required her to be in deep listening to those who carry similar and dissimilar experiences of pain in an unequal world. “This deep listening, and shared mourning, amidst our rebuilding, our advocacy, our protests, carves out a world that is just; that makes space for breathing, because we so often cannot breathe when we do not acknowledge our hurt.” she asserts.

This coherence landed her studying politics, philosophy… and Economics oddly enough. She experienced resistance from beginning to end with Economics. Economics was the one course that she experienced just how systematic the alienation is.

She thinks back to the main assumption underlying neoclassical economics that a person's main motivation in life is assumed to be the desire to maximize one’s own utility and benefit. She recalls rejecting that notion because surely there must be something else at the core of the human experience - a desire to live through justice. In the words of bell hooks; to live through love, to experience love and to be loved in all of these spaces. Masana firmly believes that the moment people become resources or “capital” is the moment that they miss fundamental things about the human experience. When working to eat and eating to work one can lose their hope, humanity and empathy – all needed for sustaining change and transforming systems.

"EVERYTHING I DO IS IN SERVICE OF THIS RADICAL LOVE.”

“When I left the protection of my family and school and moved into the working world of Ghana I’d say I did experience hardcore patriarchy and misogyny.”

Akosua worked in the entertainment industry and men would persuade her to sleep with them for job opportunities. And if you do not fit the ideal and role of what a woman looks like and acts like you do not get the work opportunities.

Akosua aspired to be an actress but she realised that the roles of women were not for women like her. Casting was directed at light-skinned women, playing specific roles. Having to confront the real world from her perspective and the background that she was raised from, it was a natural move for Akosua to pursue a career in artistic representation. Being the artistic expressionist that she is, Akosua had done theatre and music, and literature was the next expression she wanted to explore. Most of the mediums of artistic expression that Akosua has engaged with are centred around women and challenges women face in Ghana.

MoonGirls is unique, as it focuses on women and queer people. It sheds a light on the LGBTQIA+ activism being carried out in Ghana in response to the oppressive systems the country has towards LGBTQIA+.

BLACK WOMEN AS THE HEROES

OF OUR STORIES The great significance of having black women as the heroes of stories is the redemption of history that was erased. It is bringing to you a reality that was deliberately erased by the patriarchy. Before Ghana was formed as Ghana, Ghanian women had always been at the forefront of economic and political lives. You had the system of queen mothers who decide who kings are. Ghanian women still regulate some of the most essential services.

Women rule the largest market in Ghana, the Makola market. They determine the prices of the products, and in this way, they have a stronghold on the economy. When there is a coup d'état’s, the military takes over the Makola and attack the Makola women because they were the ones that held the nation. Their power frightens even supposedly strong military men.

“So my theirstory as a Ghanian woman is actually that of empowered women who were allowed to be in political and economic leadership spaces … women led this fight.”

In Akosua’s comic strip series, MoonGirls, women are the heroes of the stories because their history was dissolved and deserves to stand high and mighty for all people to see. Akosua bases the characters and situations on real-life people and situations. “A lot of the stories of MoonGirls are of specific people or incidents that happened around me.” Through MoonGirls, Akosua is bringing to light issues that go unnoticed and is advocating for people that are tabooed by conformist beliefs.

Akosua describes herself as a traditionalist, taking inspiration from mythology and divinity when shaping her characters. She is reshaping narratives through her storytelling. And through a mythological lens, she allows the reader to ponder upon their understanding and thoughts of the happenings.

Some of the important issues that MoonGirls is tackling include sea pollution, harassment of LGBTQIA+ people and sex workers and sexual abuse in the church, to name a few.

NANA AKOSUA HANSON “So my theirstory as a Ghanian woman is actually that of empowered women who were allowed to be in political and economic leadership spaces ... women led this fight.”

Nana Akosua Hanson is the hero of our story, a modern superhero—her power? Literature. Through divine writing and an eye for justice, she crafts literary masterpieces that professes the profound power of black women and queer people. Truths that society has long hidden and narrated as shameful taboos. Her comic strip, MoonGirls is challenging harmful narratives brought on by colonisation, the patriarchy and Christian doctrines.

Akosua had a magical childhood, with empowering parents. “I was made to feel centred, made to feel powerful.” In her parents home, she was given the freedom of religion and spirituality within her own, this would have a significant effect on who she is as a person and the work she does.

Feminism now...

Feminism is not very critical in South Africa, for example GBV- men abuse women. Feminism is impacted by the financial status and economic because women are still expected to support the family with the government not giving enough resources to assist women and children that they need, for example single mothers still need to make a living for others with the little pay or have little to none resources. That is why I have my Twitter page that discuss such issues and use #SpacesWithGao as a way of engagement. Women in the workforce still don’t receive the same pay-check compared to their male counterparts who studied for the same degree or occupation. South Africa still have laws that speak about women empowerment, having politicians, people in powerful position speak about women empowerment, but realistically women were and still not heard out and have no political will. For example, The Choice of Termination Act: South Africa doesn’t implement the Act efficiently, it is a Human Right given to persons who is pregnant. For example, in the medical field of private hospitals attention is rarely given and women are look down upon for wanting to abort versus in rural areas there is one staff member who can do the procedure and if that individual is on leave then the procedure does not take place and the woman is stranded. We need a feminist government honestly, while attending the Gender Summit I realised South Africa still has a long way to go. In reality feminism talks to everyone including men, women and LGBTQI Community feminism is about values not judgement.

“JOURNALISM COOSE ME." ” I wanted to be an Actress, but my father advised against it saying it had not money or future etc. then I studied politics and returned to college to complete a filed module during that time I worked at campus radio thinking of being a Dj and becoming famous in that way, but I was told I would be good in the newsroom so like my statement before I didn’t study journalism nor media.

I do this because...

Journalism informs people on how to live, being to forward information that people may be excluded from that impact their lives. For example publications rely on statistics which is not wrong but journalism is to give information as authentic as possible illustrating democracy and justice for the people, in response to a tweet on my page “I feel like I am in the newsroom with you.” With that response my job is complete. As journalists we cover every single story being at the forefront of news, for example I was covering the State Capture listening to how State Funds were used it was astonishing.

The reason why is, because journalists are massagers, being 6 years in the field of radio journalism, I am confident about the stories I cover I know what I want being passionate about feminism and journalism both. Not be nervous about approaching a story with journalism ethics, respect for the people I am writing about and confidence.

DECEMBER 2016

PROFILE

POSTMODERN PAINTING. Stella alternately paints in oil and watercolor

GAOPALELWE PHALATSILE

By: Dimpho Mogale

On research As a feminist, and journalist I am always in need and want for justice for black and brown people. For example, covering stories about Gender based Violence (GBV)- it is not just telling the story, but how I cover the story, the use of language in describing the victim or survivor and women experience inside and outside the courtroom. Illustrating my role as a journalist is to describe the mood and atmosphere inside and outside the courtroom. Importance of reporting how the people died. The cases that I investigate create a “not wanting to give up spirit in me” but also can take an emotional toll on you.

On feminism in practice Feminism is a way of life, a value system impacting how you think, “Feminism is a way of life” that describes the way you make decisions. The constitutional law has Feminism principles, but the principles are not being implemented. Feminism can be practiced through writing of consent. Feminism involves critical thinking of how feminism evolve.

Feminism is in poetry. For example organisations such as Oxford. Feminism is very much involved in my parenting which a lot of people ask me about, and what I say is, how I treat and speak to my children is important instead of bullying them or enforcing my beliefs, because they’re own individuals. An example, I can speak of is how videographers with patriarchal views zoom in on women’s breast and thighs while recording versus a feminist videographers who are respective of whom is in first of the camera and behind as well.

Take a peek into a day

in the life of budding On personal beliefs artist

Stella

Young,

I believe in “protect journalists” because we improves do citizen and workhow and she cannot gatekeep every heras craft single thing a journalist my role is to empower people. Meaning how I report as a feminist is to empower and be factual and ethical my reporting.

Feminism is very much involved in my parenting which a lot of people ask me about, and what I say is, how I treat and speak to my children

IMPRINT MAGAZINE

|

38

Issue 10 - In partnership with

CONTENTS

41 Sex in the Gold Years

74 Vasectomy

49 Lebogang Rama

90

09 ReaBua

93

15 Reflecting on violence in South Africa

24

Ukuthwala

97

96

The Truth About Collagen

Masana

57 A special thank you to all stock picture photographer

Lisa Welsh

Journalist

Dimpo Mogale

Journalist

Kyra-Kay Rensburg

CONTRIBUTORS

Pleasure Coach

A Word.

I

This double cover is a gift to you and generations to come, that you too are worthy of being remembered.

Do you ever wonder had Eve not transgressed if we would know her name? That if she was a good little woman, a whole species of humans would be blamed for all sorts of things. This is by no means an admission of guilt on her behalf, just the joy of this voice being heard. The idea is never that we are going to live forever , it is that in big and little ways we are remembered. It is also that we too remember those who went before us.

On recent visits to my mother’s maternal home; her uncles remember my grandmother as this pipe smoking opinionated woman who was a thing of beauty…if she would just sit there quietly. I wonder if she did, would they remember her in the same way; her adventures larger than life. This issue is a love letter recounting lived lives of women and queer people whose names we may not know. It opens the door for you to immerse yourself in how violent erasure is. In partnership with Tekano we explore the links between the past and the future.

T he exploration looks at women and queer people, now today whose names we must know and remember as they do the work and live everyday carving a future. This double cover is a gift to you and generations to come, that you too are worthy of being remembered. As you interact with the text and go onto the Mail and Guardian to look at the ReaBua series, tell us who you remember. Stories have always been how we sustain ourselves.

I hope this issue, whether you are reading it online or holding it brings you the joy of being remembered and held. Joy is a determinant of health and with this issue we play our part for your sexual health and pleasure .

KANYISA BOOI The Matriarch

Eve's Apple!

ISSUE 10 14 FEBRUARY 2022

Eve's Apple is a Matriarch and Sons Publication

The Mag

in love...

Ponahalo of the Future SEXUAL AND REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH FAQs ONLY