Creative Loafing Tampa — December 28, 023 by Chava Communications

DEC. 28, 2023 - JAN. 3, 2024 (VOL.36, NO.52) • $FREE CREATIVE LOAFING - CLTAMPABAY.COM

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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa

UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA

Editorial DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf MANAGING EDITOR Kyla Fields THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John W. Allman IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl CONTRIBUTORS Thomas Hallock, Michael Murillo PHOTOGRAPHERS Caesar Carbajal, Dave Decker, Phil DeSimone, Sandra Dohnert, Ryan Kern, Tracy May FALL INTERN Inquire by emailing rroa@cltampa.com Creative Services CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack Spatafora GRAPHIC DESIGNER Joe Frontel ILLUSTRATORS Dan Perkins, Cory Robinson, Bob Whitmore Advertising SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda Events and Marketing MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS DIRECTOR Leigh Wilson MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS COORDINATOR Kristin Bowman SOCIAL MEDIA AND MARKETING MANAGER Corrie Miserendino

Air-breathing fish have entered the chat. Invasive species are among Tampa Bay’s most WTF headlines of 2023, p. 17.

Circulation CIRCULATION MANAGER Ted Modesta

chavagroup.com cltampabay.com cldeals.com EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa Bay is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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Any realtor will tell you the market has been a roller coaster of emotions in 2023.

Tampa Bays most popular homes for sale, p. 42.

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DAVE DECKER

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Press pass

ampa Bay’s busy year of concerts kicked off as the clock struck midnight in 2022, with a private show by Nelly on the pool deck of the Tampa Edition, and it will rage on until the last second of 2023, too (see Music Week on p. 45). Creative Loafing Tampa Bay photographers documented more than 150 shows across this year, and found themselves in every kind of venue from DIY spaces, to clubs, festivals, and nearly-20,000 capacity arenas and amphitheaters. The team captured national headliners, indie acts, homegrown talent and occasionally spiced things up with up-and-coming-superstars (Jake Wesley Rogers, pictured in yellow below, playing Crowbar in Ybor City). This gallery on clatampa.com/slideshows includes at least one photo from nearly every concert CL visited over the last 12 months. And yes, there’s bonus Taylor Swift in there for you since she played a historic three-night run at Raymond James Stadium.

PHIL DESIMONE

TRACY MAY

CAESAR CARBAJAL

RYAN KERN

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DAVE DECKER

PHIL DESIMONE

SANDRA DOHNERT

CAESAR CARBAJAL

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do this

Tampa Bay's best things to do from December 28 - January 03

30 Firsts

The City of St. Pete has hosted its annual, family-friendly New Year’s party for the past three decades, and First Night's 30th anniversary is here. This North Straub Park event features live music, tons of kid-friendly activities, interactive displays, improv performances, dancing, sing-a-longs and more. Event organizers claim that their annual First Night party is “the largest family-friendly New Year’s Eve Celebration of the Arts in Florida.” St. Pete Catalyst recently reported that 2022’s First Night party was canceled due to “low funding, a scarcity of volunteers and blowback from the low attendance numbers of the pandemic years,” so make sure to bring the family out to this week’s significant event. Like every year, 2023’s First Night party is alcohol-free, but if you’d like to return to downtown’s North Straub Park a few hours later, you can catch the City of St. Pete’s fireworks display and grab a drink on the St. Pete Pier. Art in the Park: First Night: Sunday, Dec. 31. 4 p.m.-8 p.m. No cover. North Straub Park, 400 Bayshore Dr. NE, St. Petersburg. firstnightstpete.com

—Kyla Fields

CITYOFSTPETE/FLICKR

Deviant is good

Really good beer’s been flowing in Ybor Heights for about a year now, and Tampa’s got Tim Ogden to blame. The founder and brewer for Deviant Libation brings his entire soul to his beer list (the “May Queen” pink peppercorn and cucumber sour is a heavenly, balanced, and almost sessionable alternative to over-the-top way-too-tart sours everywhere else), and his unique style is reflected in a tasting room that’s like a heavy-metal cathedral with bright pink floors. Monday is not just the first day of 2024, but also Ogden’s 47th birthday, so he’s relinquishing his vinyl night selector duties to DJ Cub (Chris Preston) and DJ Nightworm (Ari Barros), and opening the brewery beer garden for Deviant’s “Merch Table” market where local bands can hawk shirts, records, stickers and more. This Little Pig food truck—which just wheeled out a new menu of southern staples—is in the kitchen and ready to wipe your pangs away, too.

ANDREAS LAWEN, FOTANDI, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kool party

Vinyl Night—almost one-year anniversary and merch table: Monday, Jan. 1. 2 p.m.-10 p.m. No cover. Deviant Libation, 872 E Stratford Ave., Tampa. deviantlibation.com—Ray Roa DAVE DECKER

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It won’t be cheap to get into Tampa Edition on New Year’s eve, but the hospitality and entertainment at the Bay area’s only five-star hotel is unrivaled. Expect a primo open bar, top-notch food, champagne and a ballroom concert from funk legend Kool & the Gang (pictured here c. 2017). Last year’s party was a luxurious affair without the pretense, and don’t expect the Edition team to mess with the formula too much when it rings in 2024. Check out more NYE happenings via cltampa.com/food. Kool & the Gang New Year’s Eve: Sunday, Dec. 31. 9 p.m. $599. Tampa Edition, 500 Channelside Dr., Tampa. editionhotels.com/ tampa—Ray Roa

See more (and submit your event) @ cltampa.com Warm laughter

The Tampa Bay area is becoming a pretty strong stand-up comedy destination, with plenty of clubs, independent shows, and open mics to keep crowds entertained with live performances—and now it’s got a festival to put in the quiver. Tampa Bay’s very first Sunshine Comedy Fest kicks off next Thursday, and features dozens of stand-up comedians, podcast recordings, meet-and-greets, and fun in the sun at a time when a lot of the country is shoveling sidewalks and sporting thermal underwear. Hosts include clubs such as Side Splitters and Sunshine City Comedy Club, as well as venues like Coastal Creative and The Floridian Social. The lineup will feature national acts such as Jeff Dye, Mike Cannon, and Troy Bond, as well as plenty of local talent. You’ll also see Best of the Bay alumni such as J.B. Ball and Cam Bertrand, who took their Best Comedian awards and are now touring the country after filming their own comedy specials. Many of the comics will play multiple sets at different venues, and there will also be workshops, showcases, late-night mics and after parties. Next Thursday-Sunday: Jan. 11-14. $95 & up. Sunshinecomedyfest.com—Michael Murillo

EVANNOVOSTRO/ADOBE

Ballin’ out

COURTESY

This stylish North Hyde Park eatery hosts a laid-back, New Year’s Eve party on Sunday night and a full recovery breakfast the very next morning soundtracked by DJ AJ Hall’s “vintage vinyl funk & throwback jams.” Willa’s launched its weekday brunch service earlier this year, and dishes like its potato onion latkes, lemon poppy French toast, huevos rancheros, croque madame and stacked breakfast sandwiches will surely cure your champagne-induced headache. But you can always indulge in a few mimosas or Bloody Marys if you’re looking for some hair of the dog, or perhaps a seasonal latte if you’re not trying to keep the party going. While reservations are never required to dine at the popular North Hyde Park restaurant, you can always secure your seat at its disco brunch on Resy.com. Willa’s New Year’s Day Brunch: Monday, Jan. 1. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. No cover. Willa’s, 1700 W Fig St., Tampa. willastampa.com—Kyla Fields Get salty

If you’re in search of a quiet, yet immersive escape from your family, office parties or just the vapid, consumerist bustle of holiday season in general, Ybor City’s resident microcinema hosts three consecutive screenings of a poignant and cathartic film that is described by Rotten Tomatoes as an “beautifully elegant exploration of grief and longing.” The debut from awardwinning poet, photographer and filmmaker Raven Jackson, “All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt,” follows the life of a Mississippi woman (Charleen McClure) through the simple, yet monumental stages of her life. A24, the uber-popular entertainment company distributing this film, describes the newly-released work as “a beautiful ode to the generations of people and places that shape us,” and relates it to 2017’s Oscarwinning “Moonlight.” And since “salt” is a metaphor for tears—both out of sorrow and joy—you may expect to shed some while watching this 97-minute film.

‘All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt’: Thursday-Saturday, Dec. 28-30. 7 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. $8. Screen Door: An Ybor City Microcinema, 1624 E 7th Ave. no. 228, Ybor City. ybormicrocinema.org—Kyla Fields

JACLYN MARTINEZ/A24

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POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

Get a load of this

Tampa Bay’s most WTF stories of 2023. By Colin Wolf

f Tampa Bay had a bingo card for year, would you have gotten any of these correct? For example, in just the last 12 months, a bear got kicked out of Tampa International, Busch Gardens installed an influencer-proof fence around a gator cage, a local politico with ties to the mayor turned out to be secret sex offender, and a local pastor who hangs out with Alex Jones and tells his followers that chemtrails are used to destroy the crops got a commendation from Hillsborough County commissioners. Yes, 2023 was one of the weirdest yet. Here are a few of the more notable moments from our

ILLUSTRATION BY JOE FRONTEL

WT-FL: Tampa Bay headlines were just as weird as the rest of the state.

biggest, dumbest year yet. Get links to all these stories via cltampa.com/slideshows. Ybor City’s Italian Club board chair arrested for failing to update sex offender information A board member of the Italian Club in Ybor City, and a prominent supporter of Tampa Mayor Jane Castor’s re-election campaign and other local politicians, was arrested last March after he failed to update information with authorities related to a previous sex offender charge. John Robert Ring, who goes by Giovani “Gio” Fucarino, was arrested on March 17 for failing to “register electronic mail address or internet identifiers” and was later released

on a $5,000 bond, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office. To get endorsed by Tampa’s police union, candidates are asked if they’ve supported BLM, own a gun, or advocated against police brutality Last January, as election season was approaching, a survey sent to candidates by the local police union asked pointed questions about whether they’ve ever been critical of law enforcement or supported the activist movement Black Lives Matter. Write-ins for Tampa mayor included ‘Turd Ferguson,’ Tom Brady, Bill Carlson and more In last spring’s Tampa Municipal Election, incumbent Mayor Jane Castor ran virtually unopposed and saw 22,988 votes cast for her. However, Taylor Swift got votes for mayor, and so did someone else who used to

spend a lot of time at the football stadium: Tom Brady. Other local athletes who earned votes for Tampa Mayor include Tampa Bay Rays star Wander Franco, plus the Lightning’s Andrei Vasilevskiy and Pat Maroon who would probably put up a hell of a fight against Tampa’s rising rents. Satan, however, did not make the write-in list. Details unclear after FBI seizes electronics from Tampa journalist Timothy Burke The Federal Bureau of Investigation told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that on May 7, agents “conducted a court-authorized search” at the Old Seminole Heights home of Timothy Burke. Burke— who is married to and lives with Tampa City Councilwoman Lynn Hurtak—is a Tampabased journalist and media consultant whose continued on page 19

YEAR IN REVIEW

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L O U N G E

continued from page 17

USF professor breaks world record for living underwater Dr. Joseph Dituri, known to his students and colleagues as Dr. Deep Sea, broke the world record for underwater living last spring. The previous record, held by Tennessee teachers Bruce Cantrell and Jessica Fain, was set in 2014 at 73 days. Tampa Bay ranks among nation’s ‘buggiest’ In a report released last spring by lawn care company TruGreen, Tampa Bay was ranked as one of the top five cities nationwide most impacted by outdoor pests—specifically mosquitos, fleas and ticks. The study places the Tampa-St. Petersburg-Sarasota region at No. 5 out of the country’s 20 largest metros. St. Pete Beach leaders lament unhoused SunRunner riders, discuss charging fares “It’s the buses and who they’re bringing in,” Chris

Hillsborough and Pinellas schools will not be using new PragerU Kids materials for upcoming academic year Last August, Florida’s Department of Education announced the approval of “supplemental teaching materials” from PragerU, an unaccredited, far-right institution with a history of “downplaying systemic racism and promoting anti-immigrant theories.” New Port Richey police chief Kim Bogart retires after defending cops who made Holocaust jokes New Port Richey Police Department saw several big scandals over the past two-and-a-half years, but last January the police chief decided to leave the department. As CL previously reported, NPRPD cops have prayed with Proud Boys, posed in front of a Confederate flag, leaked department intel to an armed right-wing vigilante and falsely

YEAR IN REVIEW

SCUBAGREG123/ADOBE

byline has previously appeared at CL. The FBI added that, “No further information is available at this time.” The agency also declined to share the search warrant. Axios Tampa Bay fires reporter Ben Montgomery over response to DeSantis DEI email “This gives the trolls another scalp,” Montgomery told CL. He won’t go back to Axios, even if the backlash from the firing compels his old boss to renege. “I’m pissed,” Montgomery said of his firing. “I’m pissed that it makes the press look weak, and I’m pissed about the message this sends about the chilling effect this kind of intimidation from the governor’s office has on solid, truthful reporting.” Report: A Tampa renter has to make nearly $85,000 to avoid being rent burdened Using data from April, Florida Atlantic University’s College of Business created an interactive rental index that ranks the “most overvalued rental markets from among the nation’s largest metropolitan areas.” The index found that a Tampa renter that makes $84,750.12 a year is actually rent burdened. Someone who makes $50,850.07 is classified as severely rent burdened. Tampa Bay Times hurricane graphic sure looked like something The graphic was about hurricane force winds. And while it’s very likely that Times Data Editor Langston Taylor was just trying to do his job as the storm set its sights on Florida’s west central coast, Instagram commenters were also doing theirs, with @floridaman saying, “I should call her,” and @missjulieann adding “Idalia Majora” to the conversation. New report shows Hillsborough blocked 52 percent of abortion petitions for minors Overall, Florida judges denied one in eight petitions across Florida in 2021. In a countyby-county breakdown, Hillsborough had the highest percentage of denials at 52%. Out of 21 petitions, Hillsborough denied 11. Veteran Tampa journalist says USF censored his antisemitism comments over fear of DeSantis After 35 years as an investigative reporter for Tampa’s Channel 10, Mike Deeson knows editing when he hears it. He also knows when an edit has changed the meaning of someone’s words. That’s exactly what Deeson says happened to his comments about antisemitism after he appeared on a recent episode of the University of South Florida’s “Advocation: Change it Up!” podcast. The longtime local journalist, who has won 12 Emmys, told CL that his comments on the show were extensively censored. It’s official, St. Pete renters no longer have a bill of rights Last August, under pressure to comply with House Bill 1417’s repeal of all local tenant ordinances, St. Pete’s hard-won Tenant Bill of Rights was officially no more, following a 5-1 vote at city council.

NOT A PEEP: Cops want you to stop calling them about manatee mating balls. Marone, St. Pete Beach City Commissioner, said at an Aug. 8 meeting. “And the Sheriff [Bob Gualtieri] said we cannot just pick these people up and drive them somewhere and drop them off. We’re not allowed to do that. We can make their lives miserable.” A Florida black bear was removed from Tampa International Airport Tampa International Airport said it removed a Florida black bear from the airport campus last summer, adding that it has no previous records of bear incursions on airport property. A TSA employee spotted the bear walking along the airport perimeter fence near Hillsborough Avenue, according to airport officials. The sighting was reported to Hillsborough County Aviation Authority.

accused a Black man of a felony, among other incidents. Tampa Bay is now home to an invasive, air-breathing fish Adding to a long list of invasive species that already includes clawed frogs, house-eating meningitis snails, and giant poisonous toads, Tampa Bay is now home to an air-breathing Asian fish. For the first time on record, researchers have located a population of non-native aggressive, air-breathing fish known as the goldline snakehead (Channa aurolineata) in a Manatee County pond. Local officials remove alligator from Tampa Bay Publix parking lot A decent-sized alligator was detained last spring and relocated for trespassing at a Tampa Bay Publix. “We can

only speculate that he was on his way to pick up a PubSub,” the police department said in a Facebook post. An officer with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission also responded to the call and helped relocate it to a nearby body of water. Hillsborough County commissioners award commendation to ‘plandemic’ MAGA pastor Last May, Rodney Howard-Browne, a Tampa pastor with a well-documented history of spreading dangerous conspiracy theories— like mass shootings are false flags and the COVID19 pandemic was planned by Bill Gates—was awarded a commendation by the Hillsborough County Board of Commissioners for his community service. Former Bucs running back Leonard Fournette’s car burnt to a crisp on Tampa’s I-275 Super Bowl Lenny had a close call last summer, after the former Buccaneer’s car caught fire. “Man it was one of those days today, but I would like thank God, my car caught on fire while I was driving, But I’am still blessed,” wrote Fournette on Instagram. Tampa Bay law enforcement asks beachgoers to stop snitching on horny manatees Manatee mating season typically runs from March to November in Florida, and local law enforcement is reminding residents that there’s absolutely no reason to call the cops if you spot a seacow orgy. On Saturday, July 29, the Pinellas County Sheriff ’s Office posted a video to social media showing what’s often referred to as a manatee “mating ball,” or a “mating herd.” “If you see this...Don’t call us,” said PCSO. “They are more than fine. It’s manatee mating season.” City of Tampa wants residents to stop dumping ‘hot loads’ Last summer, the City of Tampa said there was an uptick in “hot loads,” which is when trash spontaneously combusts inside a garbage truck, and now officials are looking to educate residents on how to properly dispose of their hazardous waste. The culprit? Overheating lithium-ion batteries, chemicals, cleaning solutions, propane tanks or other electronics improperly disposed of in bins, says the City of Tampa. Don’t be this guy Last August, Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister took to social media to remind residents that it was actually a terrible idea to swim in the rising storm surge of Hurricane Idalia. “Please stay sheltered and off the roadways, and definitely stay out of the water, it’s dangerous!” wrote Chronsiter, while sharing a photo of some maniac seemingly swimming laps in a brown, turd-like stream. After man jumped into alligator enclosure, Busch Gardens Tampa installs new influencer-proof fence After a man attempted to go viral by jumping into Busch Gardens’ American Alligator exhibit, the park installed a much taller fence that will certainly keep the influencers out.

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YEAR IN REVIEW RESTAURANTS

RECIPES

Order up

DINING GUIDES

Tampa Bay’s 25 hottest new restaurants to open in 2023. By CL Staff

Barbouni Barbouni, a new raw bar and “modern ouzeri” from the folks at Baba, opened last March and features conservas, which are known as canned seafood in European countries served with bread or crackers. There’s also an intimate raw bar that allows guests to watch their fresh oysters being shucked, but the main thing here is conservas, including mackerel, sardines, smoked mussels and razor clams. 2701 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. eatatbaba.com Bamboozle After 14 years at its flagship location in downtown Tampa, health-focused Vietnamese restaurant Bamboozle moved to Seminole Heights last summer. Loyal customers of Bamboozle will recognize the new Seminole Heights restaurant’s menu, which include a variety of fresh spring rolls, piping hot bowls of pho, bánh mis, curries and traditional Vietnamese salads. Since wellness is at the forefront of Bamboozle’s mission, its menu caters to a variety of gluten-free and vegan diets as well. 7107 N Florida Ave., Tampa. eatbamboozle.com Beacon Situated on the 27th floor, JW Marriott Tampa Water Street’s new rooftop bar Beacon is the “tallest public rooftop bar in Tampa,” according to the company, and the second tallest in the state of Florida. The space debuted last September, and became a viral sensation almost immediately, offering guests the chance to sip on craft cocktails, snack on booze-friendly share-ables, and arguably the

best view of Hillsborough Bay, the Garrison and Sedon Channels and the Ybor Turning Basin. 510 Water St., Tampa. beacontampa.com Boulon Brasserie From the same company as Union New American and Forbici, comes Boulon Brasserie. This French style brasserie with a modern twist opened in Tampa’s Water Street District towards the end of January. The 7,000-square foot restaurant spared no expense in design and buildout, and features two outdoor patios and floor to ceiling windows. Its menu boasts entrees like scallop risotto, and duck confit, and was created by Chef Habteb ‘Hab’ Hamde, who previously worked as executive chef at Bern’s Steakhouse for 26 years. Don’t skip out on the blue crab croquette. 1001 Water St., Tampa. boulontampa.com Calida Kitchen & Wine Debuting last spring, Calida brings an intimate, globallyinspired cuisine to St Petersburg’s Crescent Heights neighborhood. The eclectic menu and curated wine selection certainly make it a destination for foodies across The ‘Burg, offering popular dishes like chow noodles, loaded with ginger, garlic, fresh vegetables, tamari, sesame and lime. Calida also offers a rotating charcuterie board, empanadas, baked polenta and decadent weekend specials—like its spiced ahi tuna with sesame ponzu, radish, and garlic chips. 2909 Dr M.L.K. Jr .St. N, St. Petersburg. calidastpete.com Cane & Barrel Located on the eighth floor of the 36-story hotel and apartment complex Ascent St. Petersburg, Cane and Barrel is a Cuban-inspired bar and lounge that opened in early March. There’s an indoor bar and outdoor patio, with rum being the star of the menu, as the name itself is a homage to the spirit’s voyage from “cane” to “barrel.” 110 2nd St. N, St. Petersburg. caneandbarrelstpete.com Coasis Known for her mouth-watering success with Three Generations food truck, Chef Melissa “Melly” Gardner opened her debut brick-and-mortar restaurant, Coasis, in February. Coasis was created in a partnership with Gardner’s business and life partner

ROCKAWAY PR

or better or for worse, Tampa Bay’s dining scene took a giant leap forward in 2023. Over the past 12 months, three local restaurants bagged the region’s first Michelin stars, a highend members only dinner club emerged, multiple omakase spots debuted, Hollywood stars opened new concepts, and some highly-anticipated chains finally made their big debut. I guess this means growing up. Overall Tampa Bay’s dining scene saw a vast variety of new culinary flavors and ideas. From new rooftop bars, health-focused Vietnamese spots, and even a “modern ouzeri,” it truly has never been a better time to be a diner in Tampa Bay. What follows are the most exciting new eateries that popped up in Tampa Bay this year.

SHOW ME A SIGN: Beacons’ ‘Pistoles at Dawn’ is a smoky mezcal cocktail. Brandi Gergle, known for her local salons and wig business, B Blaze Hair Boutique. Offering weekend brunch, modern steakhouse dinners, and late small-plates, the restaurant wants to expand on the culture built with the Three Generations food truck. 7701 N Nebraska Ave., Tampa. @coasistampa on Instagram The Dan Earlier this year, one of downtown Tampa’s most notable historic landmarks debuted its swanky new dining addition. The historic Floridan Palace Hotel—now known as Hotel Flor—opened its new restaurant The Dan last May, replacing the hotel’s former signature restaurant Sapphire Lounge. Inspired by the Roaring’20s with a New Orleans-style

approach to cuisine, The Dan is a “modern take on old-school speakeasies.” 905 N Florida Ave., Tampa. dineatthedan.com Ebbe Internationally-acclaimed, two-time Michelin star winner Chef Ebbe Vollmer’s newest restaurant Ebbe (stylized “EBBE”) opened in what used to be Mole y Abuela’s in late May. “Our menu. Our choices…a fixed menu that features all the best seasonal produce,” Ebbe’s newlyformed website reads. Currently the restaurant offers a fall tasting menu, featuring seasonal ingredient from Florida and Scandinavia. 1202 N Franklin St., Tampa. chefebbe.com continued on page 32

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continued from page 27 Fortu Fortu, a new upscale Asian fusion dining experience, opened last November in downtown St. Pete. Serving “elevated PanAsian cuisine,” the steakhouse took over the old Ceviche location on Beach Drive, serving up everything from Japanese whiskeys to wagyu beef with an emphasis on quality. 332 Beach Dr. NE, St. Petersburg. forturestaurants.com

Pepper’s Island Trinidadian restaurant Pepper’s Island officially debuted last August. The official opening of Pepper’s Island marks an important chapter for owner Rodney Dhanraj’s life, who had a long-term goal of opening a restaurant in honor of his grandparent’s 60 year-old roti shop back in Trinidad. Guests can dive into dishes like stewed chicken, curry duck, and paratha aka “Buss up Shot.” 1701 E 4th Ave., Ybor City. peppersislandrestaurant.com

Kosen From the folks behind Bento, a new concept leaning into New York and Tokyo flavor debuted in October. Kosen’s chef, Wei Chen is an alum of New York Japanese restaurant Masa, a three-Michelin star establishment. Kosen’s private omakase room holds just 10 people at the sushi counter, and a separate dining room can fit 25 people. A 10-course, $150 per person tasting menu is available, as well as an 18-course reservation-only omakase, which will run you $250/person. 307 W Palm Ave.,Tampa. kosentampa.com

Pete’s Ybor From the minds behind Pete’s Bagels, Pete’s Ybor opened last March bringing its famous breakfast and bagels to this side of the Bay featuring five all-day bagel options, as well as yogurts and granola. Besides breakfast, fig and brie sandwiches are also up for grabs. There’s also a nice selection of local beer and wine, and a patio that offers free wifi perfect for working and social gathering. 1804 E 4th Ave., Ybor City. petesbagels.com

Caribbean-inspired concept features an-site cafe and dessert shop that serves a variety of specialty drinks from Illy Coffee, gelatos and pastries. 601 N Florida Ave., Tampa. salrosatampa.com Sesh St. Pete’s highly-anticipated craft brewery and restaurant, Sesh, opened last April after years of restoring its historic 4th Street building. With a history of supposed ghost sightings, Sesh embraces its past, calling its kid’s menu for ‘lil goblins.’ The menu is stacked with hearty dishes like grouper sandwiches, burgers and bowls. Its beloved jelly doughnut burger—two smash burgers, berry jam, bacon and cheese smothered between two doughnut buns—certainly gets the stoner stamp of approval. 2221 4th St. N, St. Petersburg. seshstpete.com

YEAR IN REVIEW

Small Giant Boasting a large dining room with easy to eat food and drink like

Lepley’s Kitchen + Lounge Lepley’s Kitchen & Lounge recently opened out of Seminole Heights’ former Social House space, which quietly closed earlier this year. Complete with craft cocktails and choice bottles of champagne, a kitchen dishing out SouthernCaribbean fusion cuisine, plus a dining room and outdoor space that seats over 100 patrons, Lepley tells CL that his debut business venture is equal parts restaurant, lounge and bar. He owns the concept with friend and business partner York, local DJ and event organizer DMC Vybz, and Raffy Bautista, a Tampa-based club promoter. 6310 N Florida Ave, Tampa. lepleystampa.com The Pearl The Pearl had its grand opening at the beginning of March. The interior is inspired by vintage and urban design, and offers a variety of menu options, from weekend brunch favorites like chicken and waffles, to dinner specialities like ricotta dumplings with acorn squash. Indoor dining room seating is available, but its outdoor patio offers a view of the city and the Amalie Arena. And kids of all ages will love the deviled egg appetizer. 823 Water St. Suite C-100, Tampa. thepearlrestaurant.com

VISIT TAMPA BAY

Kura Revolving Sushi Bar As the name suggests, Kura Revolving Sushi Bar centers around a two-layered conveyor belt system, which moves around the room and allows guests to choose from over 140 Japanese-style dishes as they pass by the table. Besides sushi, the menu offers various soups like ramen, udon and miso, as well as sides including dumplings, fried rice, tempura, and a fairly large dessert menu spanning items like mochi ice cream, sesame balls and cheesecake. 214 Westshore Plaza C-39, Tampa. kurasushi.com

LEVEL UP: Union is a two-story American concept from a familiar name. Ro Ro’s kitchen is helmed by Michelinstarred Chef Kiichi Okabe, who has worked at fine dining restaurants across the world in cities like Japan, Dubai and Las Vegas— including Singapore’s Shoukouwa, which earned two Michelin stars in 2016 under Okabe’s leadership. Patrons of the Hyde Park concept can expect a wide spread of sushi featuring fresh seafood from Tokyo’s famed Toyosu Market, table-side Peking duck (which must be ordered in advance due to its lengthy preparation process), and an A5 wagyu entree. 1500 W Swann Ave, Tampa. rohydepark.com Sal Rosa Kitchen + Bar Last September, Sal Rosa Kitchen + Bar replaced Le Méridien’s former restaurant Bizou Brasserie. The new

32 | DEC. 28, 2023-JAN. 03, 2024 | cltampabay.com

Columbus-style pizza and cocktails, Small Giant has deemed itself a “little bar with a big heart” according to its Instagram. Small Giant opened in mid-February in the booming Water Street district, and is owned by Cru Hospitality, which also owns six other concepts in Tampa Bay. Some highlights of the menu include the kimchi bacon cheese burger, and its featured blush and bashful beer. 1011 E Cumberland Ave., Tampa. smallgiantbar.com Sunda New Asian After a full year of anticipation, Tampa’s Sunda New Asian celebrated its grand opening last June. The Chicago-based eatery brings pan-Asian cuisine that spans everything from Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino, Thai food and

more. Some menu highlights include sushi rolls, crispy pork belly, and bulgogi roti tacos. If this wide spread of Asian-inspired dishes wasn’t enough—Sunda also boasts a sizable sushi menu complete with specialty rolls, sashimi and nigiri. 648 Midtown Dr., Tampa. sundanewasian.com Tori Bar Last March, popular Tampa cocktail staple Fly Bar closed its doors, and a new concept from the owners of Izakaya Tori took over the space. Debuting last September, the “late-night” Japanese tapas spot focuses on Japanese whisky, high balls, craft cocktails, grill skewers, sashimi and hand rolls. 442 W Grand Central Ave. no 190, Tampa. @ izakaya_tori on Instagram Union New American Union New American, the new two-story concept from Tampa-based restaurant group Next Level Brands, centers its dishes around an American white oak fire hearth, and spans 10,000-square-feet. The main floor features a huge dining area and bar, with a lounge and terrace on the second floor. The kitchen is led by Chef Adam Polisei, who led concepts like Ocean Prime and Mitchell’s Fish Market. Some menu highlights guests can expect are sushi, smoked eggplant enchiladas and yellowfin tuna tartare. 1111 N Westshore Blvd. Annex B, Tampa. uniontampa.com Yard House After quite a bit of anticipation, popular beer bar chain Yard House finally opened in downtown Tampa earlier this month. Yard House features plenty of classic bar bites, as well as an extensive selection of vegan dishes made from plant-based brand Gardein. But most importantly, the big attraction here is the extensive beer list, which features over 100 beers on tap. The concept is owned by Darden Restaurant Group, which also owns Olive Garden, The Capital Grille, and LongHorn Steakhouse. 450 Channelside Dr., Tampa. yardhouse.com Ybor Seoul Sandwiched between 7-Eleven and King Corona Cigars in the heart of Ybor City is newly-opened Korean restaurant Ybor Seoul. The menu specializes in popular Korean fare—from street food-inspired bites like cheese and sausage-filled corn dogs and grilled skewers to everyday eats like kimbap (rice, veggies, protein and rice wrapped in seaweed), spicy rice cakes, dumplings, chicken wings and a variety of hearty soups. Ybor Seoul is not a typical, full-service restaurant with waiters. Instead, customers order on Wawa-style touch screens before the food is brought out by an employee. Its dining room boasts about 20 seats, a standing bar for on-the-go bar hoppers and two TVs playing non-stop K-pop music videos. 1531 E 7th Ave., Ybor City. 813-248-0788

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cltampabay.com | DEC. 28, 2023-JAN. 03, 2024 | 35

Cover me up

Canopy Road Cafe’s third Bay area location opens in Riverview, and more local food news.

Tallahassee-based cafe and breakfast spot continues its expansion throughout the greater Tampa area. Canopy Road Cafe’s newest location soft opened at 11220 Sullivan St. in Riverview earlier this month, and is already dishing out the loaded breakfast plates it’s known for. Riverview’s Canopy Road Cafe will be its first location with a full bar program, although partner Dave Burton tells Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that he’s still waiting for the liquor license to be approved. In the meantime, the cafe and restaurant boasts the same food and coffee menu as its 11 other locations throughout the Sunshine State. Specializing in traditional, diner-inspired fare with its “own little twists,” the cafe dishes out classics like biscuits and gravy, omelets, eggs benedict, breakfast burritos, pancakes, loaded French toasts, waffles and skillets alongside lunch items like sandwiches, salads and burgers. Canopy Road serves coffee from Lucky Goat Coffee Co., a Tallahassee-based roaster and wholesaler, as well as a variety of juice, tea and soda. In addition to its newly-opened Riverview location, there are Canopy Road Cafes in Brandon (10254 Causeway Blvd.) and Lithia (5614 Fishhawk Crossing Blvd.) The Tallahasseebased regional chain was founded by Tampa native Brad Buckenheimer and David Raney in 2007. Its name is inspired by the many tree canopies that populate the greater Tallahassee area, paying homage to the business’ origins. Head to the cafe’s Facebook or Instagram at @ canopyroadcafe for the latest news on its newlyopened Riverview location. Every Tampa Bay location of Canopy Road Cafe is open from 6:30 a.m.-2:15 p.m. daily.

to debut sometime in 2024. It will be open for lunch and dinner service, in addition to weekend brunch and daily happy hours. Alongside its selection of seafood and chicken dishes, Cheeky’s will also offer beer, wine, frozen drinks, N/A beverages and craft cocktails. The mind behind Cheeky’s is local restaurateur Nate Siegel, cofounder of new American restaurant Willa’s in North Hyde Park. While Cheeky’s seems like it will be a tad more casual than its sibling concept across the bridge, Siegel says opening a restaurant on Central Avenue is a “dream come true.” A press release says the Cheeky’s interior will boast a 20-seat horseshoe-shaped bar, an expansive, dog-friendly patio, and an “open and breezy” dining room. The new seafood and chicken joint will open out of Central Avenue’s former China Finders building, a longtime St. Pete business that closed its doors last summer. For the latest news on the Grand Central District’s newest restaurant, head to cheekys.net or follow its Instagram at @cheekys_net.

FOOD NEWS

Cheeky’s, a new fish and chicken restaurant from Nate Siegel of Willa’s, coming to St. Pete A familiar name in Tampa’s restaurant industry recently announced his latest venture, and he’s headed across the bridge to The ‘Burg. Willa’s co-founder Nate Siegel will helm a new St. Pete concept called Cheeky’s, a mix between a Southern chicken joint and a New Englandstyle oyster bar that will dish out everything from fresh seafood and chowders to fried chicken, salads, sandwiches and more. Cheeky’s heads to 2823 Central Ave. in the booming Grand Central District, and will soon be neighbors with Wild Child, Baba, Cappy’s Pizza and Bandit Coffee Co. While there’s no opening date set in stone, Cheeky’s is slated

Downtown St. Petersburg’s ‘First Friday’ block party is canceled indefinitely A longtime nightlife tradition in The ‘Burg may be coming to an end. The organizers of downtown St. Pete’s First Friday block party took to social media to announce a temporary pause on the popular event. “As much as we love this event and the history behind it, First Friday St. Pete is still paused for now,” the organizers of the event wrote on Facebook in late November. “It costs $12,000 to put on the event (insurance, city sanitation and police, permits, production, etc) with no profit to our company, and with a lack of interest from local businesses to sponsor the event, much less larger sponsors, we do not have the funds at this time.” Both November and December’s First Friday block party was canceled, and its still unsure if January’s will happen. The post ends with event organizers asking the community for more business sponsorships, one of the only ways that the annual party could continue. “We all love the event, but it takes businesses sponsoring the event to make it possible,” they wrote. Kristen Lee, Director of Operations for Nightlife Productions, LLC, told St. Pete Catalyst that her company has been filling the financial gaps to host on First Friday each month and that it’s just not able to sustain that model anymore. Lee also said that the City of St. Petersburg offered to help the event move further

36 | DEC. 28, 2023-JAN. 03, 2024 | cltampabay.com

CANOPYROADCAFE / FACEBOOK

By Kyla Fields

FLIPPIN’ TASTY: Canopy Road Cafe dishes out a variety of pancakes, waffles, omelets and more. west on Central Avenue, but she and other organizers would prefer to keep First Friday where it’s been historically held for over two decades. First Friday—a nighttime block party with live music, local vendors and entertainment— has been a St. Pete tradition since the ‘90s. It typically shuts down Central Avenue between 2nd and 3rd Streets and special permits would allow folks to drink on the street, frequenting the many bars and restaurants that populate the block resumed in November of 2022. Even with its highly-anticipated resurgence last year, Nightlife Productions, LLC still faced obstacles associated with sponsorships and funds. In addition to bringing locals and tourists alike to the bustling downtown block, First Friday also raised money for local nonprofits each month.

For the latest updates on the future of St. Pete’s First Friday parties, head to its Facebook or Instagram , both at @FirstFridaySP. Its latest social media post states that organizers “have had some awesome businesses in the community step up to help sponsor this historical event,” but that they are still looking for more financial support at this time. Any local businesses in The ‘Burg that would like to sponsor First Fridays can send an email to kristen@22nrocks.com or reach out via social media. Sarasota-based Tex-Mex spot Wicked Cantina will expand to St. Pete A locally-owned restaurant chain is heading north and opening the doors of its first Pinellas continued on page 39

cltampabay.com | DEC. 28, 2023-JAN. 03, 2024 | 37

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Seminole Heights food hall Flocale is on the market for $3 million Earlier this month, popular Tampa restaurant Ella’s was listed for sale and now another Seminole Heights concept is up for grabs. The space that formerly housed Flocale (stylized as “FLocalé”) is currently for sale, with an asking price of $3 million. The food hall was previously home to King of the Coop, Westshore Pizza, Slide hot dogs and burgers, and even an axe throwing concept, but just a year and a half after opening, the concept abruptly closed last October. Located at 5910 N Florida Ave, the 8,568-square-foot space comes with a new roof and HVACs, a rear parking lot, a 3 a.m. “wet zoning” permit, as well as a city-mandated threeinch water main, making the space “Brewery Ready,” says the listing. The building was built in 1973, and was originally a service garage. Throughout the years, the space eventually would play host to restaurants like Fodder & Shine and the second iteration of The Refinery. Building owner and restaurateur Michelle Baker told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that the space has come a long way from its origins and holds a special place in the life of her and her husband, James Beard-nominated chef Greg Baker (now a contributor for Food & Wine Magazine).The couple bought their house in the Heights 17 years ago, but Michelle’s family moved to Seminole Heights in 1941, and her

LOOPNET.COM

continued from page 36 location next month. The Tampa Bay Business Journal says that St. Pete’s first Wicked Cantina will open at 3650 Tyrone Blvd. N out of a former Sonny’s BBQ sometime in January. Wicked Cantina’s menu is stacked with expected Tex-Mex favorites like tacos, nachos, quesadillas, enchiladas and fajitas alongside a few American dishes like burgers and fish or chicken sandwiches. The restaurant offers a wide range of proteins for its various tacos and burritos, including chorizo, mahi mahi, shrimp, carnitas, brisket, grouper and shredded chicken. It also offers a separate vegan and gluten-free menu featuring dishes like butternut squash tacos and roasted veggie bowls. A selection of margaritas, draft beers, wines and other cocktails will join its expansive Tex-Mex menu. When St. Pete’s debut Wicked Cantina opens next year, it will be its third location in Tampa Bay. Its flagship location on Bradenton’s Anna Maria Island opened in 2014 and owners Mike and Janice Dolan opened a second restaurant in downtown Sarasota a few years later. According to its website, St. Pete’s roughly 6,000 squarefoot location will be open from 11 a.m.-10 p.m. every day, featuring a daily happy hour from noon-5 p.m. and live music from 6 p.m.-9 p.m. For the latest updates on St.Pete’s upcoming Wicked Cantina, head to the restaurant’s Facebook page at @WickedCantinaSarasota or Instagram at @ wicked_cantina.

HISTORICAL HEIGHTS: Flocale’s former 50 year-old building in Seminole Heights is for sale. parents got married at a local Methodist church. Greg has been in and out of the neighborhood since the ‘80s. They’ve both loved watching the neighborhood change. “I think it’s still a really cool, funky artists community. Every city is going to change as it modernizes, and that’s just the nature of cities, so it’s been cool to see,” she added.—Colin Wolf Safety Harbor favorite Pizzeria Gregario now pops up at Sweetwater Organic Community Farm each Sunday Last year, dough-obsessed Greg Seymour of Safety Harbor’s now-closed Pizzeria Gregario told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that he wasn’t done with Florida and planned to participate in the “ethical snowbird” lifestyle. Well, winter is swiftly approaching and Seymour has made his perennial return back to the Bay area, and now slings his prized pies at a local farm’s market each Sunday alongside a variety of other vendors.Sweetwater Organic Community Farm at 5521 Hanley Rd. in Town n’ Country hosts a local vendor market each Sunday from noon-3 p.m., full of farm-fresh produce, Florida native plants, arts and crafts, yoga, homemade goods,

entertainment and piping hot 10-inch pizzas. Former Pizzeria Gregario customers may recognize a few of Seymour’s current pies, which include menu favorites like the “Fungus Among Us” loaded with roasted mushrooms and gorgonzola cheese, the “Tomato-Potato” with sundried tomatoes, yellow potatoes and smoked fontina, plus classic flavors like Margarita. In addition to wood-fired pizza, Seymour also slings his beloved sourdough loaves at Sweetwater’s Sunday market, although his beloved “schmoo” dipping sauce (which CL immortalized at this year’s Best of the Bay awards) has yet to make a comeback. Pizzeria Gregario resided inside of a yellow house at 400 2nd St. N in Safety Harbor for a decade before permanently closing last year. Opening his doors in 2013, Seymour was known for his “slow food” approach to pizza and breadmaking, which utilized organic stone-milled grain and a slow fermentation process. Seymour baked loaves of fresh bread for pick-up throughout the pandemic and eventually re-opened for outdoor dining in late 2021. Sweetwater Farm director Christopher

Thomas-Kenrick tells CL that after Seymour’s pizza joint closed, the organic farm acquired his wood-fired oven. “We moved Greg’s oven from Safety Harbor after he sold his business, he donated it to the farm for others to use and now we can do more farm to table dinners and cooking classes,” Thomas-Kenrick says. Seymour will be dishing out pizza and loaves of bread at Sweetwater’s Sunday market alongside a variety of other small-scale vendors until April 2024, although Thomas-Kenrick suspects that he may be “cooking pizza and bread for many years on the farm.” “I volunteer my time at the farm because I want to help preserve the space and encourage former Pizzeria Gregario customers to come out here—it’s a real gem of the city,” Seymour tells CL. “It all comes down to fundraising, exposure and preservation.” For the latest news on Sweetwater Organic Farm’s Sunday market, events and workshops (which teach useful skills like vinegar-making, beekeeping and canning), head to its Facebook page.

FOOD NEWS

cltampabay.com | DEC. 28, 2023-JAN. 03, 2024 | 39

40 | DEC. 28, 2023-JAN. 03, 2024 | cltampabay.com

THEATER

ART

BURNING SPEAR MEDIA/AFRICAN PEOPLE’S SOCIALIST PARTY.IMAGE VIA THE GEORGE A. SMATHERS LIBRARY, UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA.

MOVIES

CULTURE

Terrible art

It’s been 58 years since ‘Picknicking at Pass-a-Grille’ was torn down. By Thomas Hallock

n Dec. 30, 1966, activist Omali Yeshitela (then Joe Waller) tore down a racist mural, “Picknicking at Pass-a-Grille,” that hung in the stairwell of St. Petersburg’s City Hall. Yeshitela was arrested, convicted with Grand Larceny, and served two years of a five-year sentence before the case was overturned, going as far as the U.S. Supreme Court. On the same day that Yeshitela removed the canvas mural, his nephew Leon Waller, small forward for the undefeated Gibbs High School basketball team, squared off against all-white Clearwater High School in the Sunshine City Holiday Invitational Basketball Tournament.

Before a “deafening” capacity crowd of 7,500 at the Bayfront Center, number-one ranked Gibbs defeated number-three Clearwater, 70-66. It was the Gibbs Gladiators’ first year in the previously segregated Florida High School Activities Association. The Gladiators went on to win the State 2A title. Waller, “redounding ace,” had broken his foot earlier that year. (Details in this poem about his injury, some basketball details, and how the high schooler might have celebrated his victory, are speculative; the rest is true.) The space in City Hall where Yeshitela tore down the mural remains vacant.

POET’S NOTEBOOK

December 30, 1966—A Ballad It was high drama, political theater, the stuff of an opera— how Omali Yeshitela, then Joe Waller, reasoned in vain with white leaders in St. Petersburg, Florida, insisting upon the removal of a WPA mural that hung above the central stairwell in City Hall, “Picnicking at Pass-a-Grille,” patently offensive, the usual stuff— white bodies frolicking on the beach, as jet Black fiddle and guitar players grin under a chickee, their faces smeared with those garish oval lips, there was even a watermelon. Omali was right. The mural had to go. And how on this day, December Thirtieth Nineteen Sixty Six, Omali slashed down the offending canvas, a local visualization

of our horrendous minstrel past, which is of course the clownish B-side to bodies swinging from trees, and how Omali marched down Central Avenue, this racial divide still lined with green benches, where custom or law would not allow him to sit, and how, for this act of art activism, for this cultural critique, Omali faced the trumped up charge of Grand Larceny. Two years lost for terrible art. And how that same night, on December Thirtieth Nineteenth Sixty-Six Omali’s younger cousin, Leon Waller, starting small forward, rebounding ace for the Gibbs Gladiators, ranked first in the state, laced up his Chuck Taylors, tightening the canvas around a foot he had broken in February;

WHAT JOMO BELIEVES: Omali Yeshitela (then Joe Waller) in ‘Burning Spear 1:1’ (December 22, 1969). and how the Gibbs starting five took to the hardwood floor of a sparkling new, sold out Bayfront Arena, Leon Waller, with coiled leap and elastic reach, shrewd in his positioning, studied, formidable above rim; how before seventy-five hundred witnesses, the Negro team, in a segregated league for the first season, squared off against all-white, number three ranked Clearwater—it was a match for the ages. And how the noise was deafening, as the Gibbs five commanded the first half, only for Clearwater to claw back, then Gibbs rallied, final score seventy to sixty-six. And how that season Gibbs took state, old men still reminisce about the team from Sixty-Six, about set shots played off a bounce pass, give and go, banked layups, the carefully set picks, the practice practice practice,

silencing the slurs heaped on courageous teenagers, and how the mural is still missing, the stairwell is blank. No art, no plaque, no story, no marker, just the tale of two kinds of court, activism and sport, enveloped by art. And how Leon Waller went home that night, December Thirtieth, Nineteenth Sixty-Six, buzzing from victory (a few beers perhaps?), unlaced his sneakers, having made hometown basketball history, playing his small part in the ongoing fight, the sit-ins, wade-ins, a sanitation strike. Politics, not his gig, but jubilant nonetheless. And how, exhausted, he elevated his leg as the doctor ordered, each of us to march in our own way, he had achieved his work, and how he rested, triumphant, with his throbbing foot on ice.

Thomas Hallock teaches at the St. Petersburg campus of the University of South Florida; check out his other “City Wilds” columns, along with those by friend and colleague Amanda Hagood, in Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. On the 1966 confluence of basketball and Omali Yeshitela’s activism, see Rosalie Peck and Jon Wilson, “St. Petersburg’s African American Neighborhoods” (2008). Art historian Andrew Wasserman fully contextualizes the event in an outstanding scholarly article, “And the Mural Came Down: Race, Removal, and Reckoning in the Sunshine City,” Art Bulletin (2022).

cltampabay.com | DEC. 28, 2023-JAN. 03, 2024 | 41

Roller coaster

The 10 most popular Tampa Bay homes for sale in 2023. By Colin Wolf

The ‘ABBA House,’ Tierra Verde The ABBA House was built in 1982, and was designed in the Swedish Longhouse style, which means there’s two identical wings with two bedrooms, two baths and shared rooms in the middle. Perfect for a band featuring two married couples. There’s no hard evidence that the disco supergroup ever actually owned it, or even stayed there for that matter, but there are quite a few clues that suggest the rumors might actually be true. According to property records, the lot was initially purchased in 1982 by Andante Music, Ltd., which has ties to ABBA’s former business manager John Spalding. Of course, “Andante, Andante” is also the name of a ABBA song on the 1981 album Super Trouper. The home is now off the market.

in Tarpon Springs. The home hit the market in October and is currently asking $1,799,000. Historic Davis Islands mansion, Tampa Back in 2021, Derek Jeter’s former Tampa house broke local real estate records when it sold for a record $22.5 million. Last August, one of Davis Islands other massive estates got pretty darn close. After hitting the market back in February for $23.9 million, a 9,038-square-foot French Provincial-style mansion sold for $17.85 million. The big transaction comes out to $1,975 per square foot, which makes it the second-highest sale in Tampa real estate history, says Smith & Associates. The mansion was built in 1932 for Gulf Fertilizer founder Lem P. Woods and his wife at a cost of $12,000, according to property records. Notably, the home was built by the G.A. Hanson Company, which was behind quite a few local projects of this era, including the historic Hillsborough Masonic Lodge, which is listed on the City of Tampa’s Historic Landmark Register. The Dorchester mansion, Tampa One of Tampa’s very first Bayshore Boulevard homes hit the market back in July. The house was built in 1912 for W.E. Dorchester and it was one of the first homes to be built in this area, which actually had a literal shoreline at the time. Dorchester was a New York-based dentist who came to Tampa in 1893 and started the “Dorchester Rent and Collections Agency,” which grew into one of the largest residential rental companies in the early 1900s. In the early 1940s, the estate was used as a women’s dormitory for the University of Tampa, and was later the site of the Tampa Women’s Club. The home is now off market.

HOMES

Casa de Muchas Flores, St. Petersburg Casa De Muchas Flores, or “House of Many Flowers,” was built in 1924 by Henry H. Dupont, who built quite a few prominent buildings in Florida, but is probably best known for his famously pink Don CeSar hotel. The home hit the market last May with an asking price of $11.5 million, but the listing has since been removed. The Crescent House, Tarpon Springs The Crescent House was built in the mid-1880s for Kansas hardware tycoon Edwin H. Knapp. It’s believed that Knapp presided over the initial meeting that incorporated the city of Tarpon Springs, and that the meeting took place in his living room in 1887. Referred to as the “Crescent House” or the “Crescent Place” for it’s curved front porch, the home is considered to be one of the oldest frame houses in Pinellas County. Over the years, the three-story home fell into disrepair until it was completely restored in 1978 by owner Donald Scholl, and since then has been a popular stop on quite a few historic home tours

Hillsborough Sheriff Chad Chronister’s waterfront compound, Tampa Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister and wife Nikki DeBartolo put their sprawling waterfront mansion on the market last May and sold it in October. According to the initial listing, the three-story mansion comes with six bedrooms and eight bathrooms, as well as two kitchens, a wine cellar, an elevator, a gym, a dog park, a four-car garage, pool, media room, library, an “entertainment dock” and a “pristine yacht facility.” The listing photos included a framed version of the “One Kiss Changed Everything” story, which was first published in the St. Petersburg Times in 2005, and documents the couple’s courtship and eventual marriage. Notably, there was also a banner hanging in Chad’s gym with the phrase “Be a bad ass with a good ass.”

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COURTESY

s any realtor will tell you, the Tampa Bay real estate market has been a roller coaster of emotions in 2023. Despite high interest rates, a property insurance crisis, stagnant incomes, record high inflation and rapidly eroding coastlines, the area continues to attract new residents. Over the past 12 months, the area witnessed historic mansions, notable celebrity homes and architectural gems hit the market for the first time, and of course, we also saw record sale prices. What follows are Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s most popular Tampa Bay home stories from 2023. Read more and see photos of all the houses via cltampa.com/slideshows.

WRIGHT PRICE: Sanford M. Goldman’s architecture was very popular in 2023. The ‘Holdout House,’ Clearwater The “Holdout House” was built in 1963 and is literally the only single-family house still standing at the end of Clearwater Point, which was once dotted with beach homes but is now almost entirely engulfed by condos. The beach house overlooks a busy channel section of Clearwater Harbor and over the years has been known to locals by a few different names; “The Gray House,” the “Holdout House,” and “Fort Akert” after its original owners, Carl Wilkens and his wife Mary Ackert, and their long-fraught battle with relentless developers. The home hit the market last September and current has an asking price of $5,999,000. Home of late actress Kirstie Alley, Clearwater After initially hitting the market last January with an asking price of $5,995,000, the waterfront home of Kirstie Alley was purchased for $5,220,000 back in August. The home, which is just down the street from former co-star and fellow Scientologist John Travolta’s former house, was purchased by Alley in 2000 for $1.5 million from singer Lisa Marie Presley, who passed away earlier this year due to complications with weight-loss surgery. Home of HSN star Tony Little, Odessa The former home of Tampa Bay’s most famous ponytailed, late night pitchman hit the market last October. The home was built in 1984 and up

until last year was owned by “America’s Personal Trainer” Tony Little. Known for his catchphrase “You can do it!,” and his trademark hair and baseball cap, Little is still a regular fixture on HSN, and over the years has filmed quite a few infomercials in this house, like this one for the “Tony Little Inversion Recliner.” The 6,797-square-foot home sits on over 6.5 acres and comes with four bedrooms and four bathrooms. It also features three fireplaces, a game room, two urinals, a whole-home generator, a spring-fed pond stocked with fish, an air-conditioned warehouse, a pool and more. Sanford M. Goldman midcentury, St. Petersburg The home was completed in 1964 and was designed by Sanford M. Goldman, who studied under Frank Lloyd Wright for two years in the late-1950s at the Taliesin fellowship in Wisconsin. Goldman, who is now in his 80s, practiced architecture in Tampa Bay for over 50 years and was known for his use of glass walls and courtyards, as well his skill at “blurring the lines between exterior and interior.” This home is no different. The 4,213-square-foot home comes with four bedrooms and five bathrooms and features imported Jerusalem stone floors, huge glass-partitioned walls, a pool, 200feet of waterfront, and more. In 2018, Goldman received a proclamation for his accomplished career and contributions to mid-century modern architecture from St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman.

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Henry Koehler, Lake George, Florida, 1881, Oil on canvas, Gift of Spanierman Gallery

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C Ethos of Aldissi One day, Anthony Aldissi is going to move back to Tampa Bay, buy a house near the beach and play jazz for us until he dies. For now, though, we’re happy to settle for the Gibbs High alum's trips home where his virtuoustic Rhodes and Moog work links up with some of the Bay area’s best musicians— in this case it’s bassist Seth Adam Lynn, drummer Roger Lanfranchi, saxophonist Nick Bredal (aka Chooty B)—who help the mythology of the Ethos of Aldissi project come to life in mindfucking fashion. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa) (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)

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Manic Focus w/Artifakts If there was a jam-scene, livetronica album that embodied the spirit of 2023, it was Never Not Blue, the latest from John “JmaC” McCarten, a Denver-based producer better known as Manic Focus. Mania, optimism, and the flipside of both those states of mind come together on the nine-track effort that’s refocused McCarten’s blend of funk, soul, and new-era hip-hop into its sharpest iteration yet. (Floridian Social, St. Petersburg) C Maude w/Eternal Sweeties/Jordan Esker/Sam Wolter/Willows The Bay area live music calendar’s incidental showcase of the best homegrown talent continues with this no cover gig at St. Pete’s favorite fancy dive. Maude, the mind behind some of the region’s best pop brings a new sound that is at once a tribute to the mushroom-iest moments of of Montreal (“Release Me”) along with the tender side of the Beatles and Beach Boys or Cal Tjader (Yesterday Once More), synth-pop and jazz (Dum Dum De Dip), plus retro soul, disco, and obscure foreign vinyl (I Wish You Love). Lo-fi folkie Samuel Wolter is also on the show, while Jordan Esker, a soul-pop vocalist and songwriter with his own experimental tendencies, closes things out in celebration of a new EP, Unsmiling, which is actually the most grungey thing his band, the Hundred Percent has done. “It’s a Saturn rising type project, a lot of coming to terms,” Esker told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. (The Bends, St. Petersburg)

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Punk Rock Holiday: Olde Rage w/Boney Fiend/Fear The Spider/The Inhalers Dunedin punk outfit Olde Rage’s new album Viva Everything! sounds like the Sex Pistols and Take This To Your Grave-era Fall Out Boy had a kid. The self-described “quinquagenarian” (people in their 50s) band returns to Florida’s oldest microbrewery for the second annual Punk Rock Holiday, with the only difference from last year’s lineup being St. Pete-based “rock and roll degenerates” The Inhalers on the bill instead of Lot Lizards. (Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin)

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C Donna The Buffalo What are you doing with your life if you’ve never celebrated the end of a wretched year with Donna The Buffalo at Skipper’s Smokehouse? The New York-based jam band—members of which

have actually backed up members of the Grateful Dead in the past—does a two-night stint in Tampa this year, and as usual, tickets to the NYE show will include a midnight toast, a breakfast buffet, and all the groovy party favors you need to send 2023 to hell, where it belongs. (Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa) C Last Things, Years End: Adam Randall w/Liam Bauman/Emilio Gonzalez Adam Randall—a Clearwater-based singer-songwriter—lost his dad earlier this year, just before releasing a mellow, entirely acoustic EP. “Antelope” has been described as a collection loaded with themes of self-discovery and inner purpose. He bids this year adieu with his old friend Liam Bauman, a Florida expat now based in Nashville who spent his summer traveling the U.S. promoting his own EP, Big Hand. (Crowbar, Ybor City)

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Lucid Druid Dunedin’s rich Scottish heritage is why you hear bagpipes out on Main Street on a Friday night—nothing surprising if you’re a local. BOTB-nominated Celticfusion outfit Lucid Druid has been a part of this scene for two decades (minus a threeyear sabbatical in the late-‘10s), and the Clearwater-based, double-bagpiped band celebrates its big 2-0 with a pre-NYE gig this weekend. (Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin) C Magic City Hippies The band’s hometown (Miami, if you couldn’t tell) gets an official New Year’s Eve show from Magic City Hippies, but frontman Robby Hunter & co. have still done Tampa Bay a solid by promising to bring their 13-year story to a swanky venue where the Hippies’ brand of infectious, party-ready indie-pop will be as potent as the cocktail program at the Floridian Social. (Floridian Social, St. Petersburg) Mitch Woods and His Rocket 88s You’d be crazy to think that Mitch Woods wouldn’t make a dent in the 1950s rockabilly scene had he been old enough to have taken part. The 72-year-old started as a classical pianist, but seeing sax legend Louis Jordan live contributed to his switching gears, and taking on a sound more reminiscent of 1940s and ‘50s boogie-woogie and blues-rock. His latest

album Friends Along The Way sticks to that aesthetic, and features guest spots from Van Morrison and Taj Mahal. (Music Gallery, New Port Richey) C Sponatola and SlopFunkDust (album release) For the better part of two decades, SlopFunkDust and Sponatola have been the secret weapon for probably hundreds of Bay area emcees drawn to the producers’ fearless approach to beatmaking. On their latest, Drum Cinema Vol. 2, the duo brings in young gun beatsmith (Tyven Poole) for a 40-minute, heady exploration of drum loops, guitar samples, and ambient sounds that range from soulful to experimental, often in the same breath. (The Bricks, Ybor City)

SUN 31

C Jimkata Despite a vocal minority that regularly complains about sound, Dunedin Brewery has enjoyed quite the year, and the Pinellas brewery with impeccable taste in music brings analog synth-driven electrorock band Jimkata to its sister venue, The Moon Tower. As always, this show is free, but there are VIP tickets available for an acoustic performance and happy hour. (Moon Tower at Dunedin Brewery, Tampa)

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Marshmello w/DJ Tay James You don’t really need a reason to hang out at Armature Works, but this New Year’s Eve just might be the Tampa Heights multipurpose space’s biggest one yet. The 31-year-old DJ who has long rocked a marshmallow helmet (but recently revealed his face to the public) and hasn’t been to Tampa since the 2018 iterations of Sunset Music Festival and later, the iHeartRadio Jingle Ball. Now he's toying around with Latin music, having released his first album of the sort, Sugar Papi, in September. (Pier at Armature Works, Tampa) C NYE Galactic Rodeo: Cosmic New Year’s Bash w/Jask/Brian Busto/more There are DJs galore working hard on New Year’s Eve, but you won’t find a more solid collective of them in one place. This “Galactic Rodeo” taking over St. Pete arts collective Mad Monk finds Bay area house music royalty (Jask, Brian Busto and friends) joining forces with more than a dozen other producers and bands ranging from rock and downtempo. Cosmic creatures (aliens) and live performers will roam the grounds and two stages which host more than nine hours of music on what promises to be a trippy night in St. Petersburg. (The Mad Monk, St. Petersburg)

C Papadosio After spending the year promoting its new, extremely experimental album To Live A Making, Papadosio ends the year with a plethora of DJs on the stage that hosted Lettuce last NYE. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)

THU 04

C Rock The Park Tampa: Mercy McCoy w/The Pilot Waves/TBA To kickoff its 14th season of free, family-friendly concerts, Rock The Park Tampa has booked a gem of the pop and Americana scene, Mercy McCoy. (Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park, Tampa) C Playboi Carti w/Ken Carson/Destroy Lonely/Homixide Gang Jordan Terrell Carter, is riding high off a feature on Travis Scott’s new album Utopia. The rapper who brought his hit 2017 single “Magnolia” to The Ritz Ybor hasn’t released an album since 2020’s Red, which hit no. 1 on the Billboard 200. He recently told followers that he has “new shit on the way,” and at Miami’s recent Rolling Loud also promised fans a new album “ASAP.” A press release says Ken Carson, Destroy Lonely and more open Carti’s first headline tour since 2021 under the “Opium Collective” moniker. (Amalie Arena, Tampa)

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Fourteen years after a legendary set at New World Brewery’s Ybor City location, William Elliott Whitmore has plans to return to Tampa Bay. The 45-year-old Iowan will release his 11th studio album, Silently, The Mind Breaks, on Jan. 26 and lands just outside of downtown Tampa a month later to support it.

In her review of Whitmore’s Best Of The Bay-winning 2012 set in Ybor City, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, songwriter Shae Krispinsky wrote, “Though Whitmore’s songs address themes of revenge, redemption, back-breaking labor and hard living, his performance was lively and full of spirit; he strummed, shook, and knocked over the microphone.” That echoed a familiar sentiment in a recollection of Whitmore’s 2005 Bay area show when he opened for Against Me! Mike Tony and Johnstonsons w/Soft Cuff Friday, Jan. 5. 10 p.m. No cover. The Bends, St. Petersburg Hollow Leg w/Thunderclap/Florist/ Dirtwitch/Captive Frame/Dopesnake Saturday, Jan. 6. 6 p.m. $10. Deviant Libation, Ybor City Academy Order w/Antacid Trip/Drawn Out Wednesday, Jan. 10. 7 p.m. $10. Deviant Libation, Ybor City Gentry Blue w/Vagabond Tweed/TBA Thursday, Jan. 11. 8 p.m. $10. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa Kill The Noise Friday, Jan. 12. 10 p.m. $10. The Ritz, Ybor City John Summit Sunday, Jan. 14. 11 a.m. $85. Hard Rock Event Center Pool at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa Wes Hoffman and Friends w/You Vandals/Miller Lowlifes Sunday, Jan. 14. 5 p.m. $8. Deviant Libation, Ybor City Resistor/Godseyes/No Plea/Send All Tuesday, Jan. 23. 7 p.m. $10. Deviant Libation, Ybor City Rohna w/Taverns (opening for Easy Honey) Thursday, Jan. 25. 7 p.m. $17. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa Wyatt Flores w/Jonathan Peyton Thursday, Jan. 25. 7 p.m. $22. Crowbar, Ybor City

ANTI-

Tickets to see William Elliott Whitmore play Hooch and Hive in Tampa on Tuesday, Feb. 20 are available now for $20. Noan Partly, a firebrand Bay area songwriter, and truly the most appropriate act to open for Whitmore, is also on the bill. There are three other Florida shows on Whitmore’s spring run: Orlando, Feb. 21; St. Augustine, Feb. 22; Gainesville, Feb. 23.

Watch the video for “Break Even” from Silently, The Mind Breaks, via cltampa. com/music and see Josh Bradley’s weekly roundup of new concert announcements, below. Summoned Skulls w/430 Steps/Age of Panic/Buried Truth/One Common Thread Friday, Jan. 26. 7 p.m. $10. Deviant Libation, Ybor City Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken Sunday, Jan. 28. 7 p.m. $59.50 & up. Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo Eye Flys Tuesday, Jan. 30. 7 p.m. $15. Orpheum, Tampa Level Up w/GorillaT/MYR Friday, Feb. 9. 10 p.m. $15. The Ritz, Ybor City Destin Conrad w/Amaria Tuesday, Feb. 13. 7 p.m. $27.50. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Boyz II Men Wednesday, Feb. 14. 8 p.m. $120 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa Yvie Oddly Friday, Feb. 16. 8 p.m. $30 & up. Orpheum, Tampa 1K Phew Thursday, March 7. 8 p.m. $20 & up. Crowbar, Ybor City Nems & Mac Lethal Friday, March 8. 7 p.m. $25. Crowbar, Ybor City Doo-Wop Reunion XXII: Little Anthony & The Music/more Sunday, March 10. 5 p.m. $49 & up. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

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But you knew that By Caroline DeBruhl

Dear Oracle, I’m in a job that I’ve had for a little over a year. Although the job pays relatively decent for the market and offers a pension, I’d like to make more money, and I feel trapped in my current position. My job is VERY stressful, chaotic, and constantly busy. Breaks are taken at my own risk of falling behind. Three days a week, I have to drive a long distance to and from, resulting in 12-hour work days, and I really only get paid for working the eight. Also, I’m in my 50s, so it’s not like I can quickly learn a new skill and jump back into the job market as a newbie. I have casually considered a metaphysical career, possibly opening up a brick-and-mortar. Although I rely heavily on my instincts and intuition, I’ve got transiting Neptune in the 10th currently hazing over any solid plans I could make and glazing over real possibilities for a decent change in my circumstances. In a nutshell, I’m not so sure I’m seeing things clearly. My ideal job would let me take better care of myself, but I feel like I’m getting older, fatter, and bitter, and I’m not sure of my next steps. Help!—The super stressed out chica of New Port Richey Cards: Ace of Wands (reversed), Five of Swords (reversed), Six of Swords (reversed), Ace of Pentacles, The Hermit. Dear Stressed-Out Chica, one of the biggest (and most disappointing) misconceptions about

spirituality, and crave a new beginning. It’s not surprising that with all those energies, you’re casually considering opening a metaphysical shop. What you want is something that will let Tarot is that it will give you an answer that has you tap into that creativity and spirituality. It completely eluded you in all your other searches. might be starting a new business, Reiki training, Unfortunately, Tarot often tells you what you or deciding to paint 20 oil portraits in a year. already know, which is the case here. Something is scratching inside of you to be let I pulled the cards for three questions: What out, but neither you nor the cards are exactly you want, what you have, and what you need to do. sure about what. I’m going to jump around and start with So what you really need—what The Hermit what you have: Five of Swords, Six of Swords, points you to—is to get in touch with yourself and Ace of Pentacles. You have a job that is and the universe and figure out what you want sucking the soul out of you. It’s making you and what you need to do to get it. In her book, ”The bitter and isolating you Artist’s Way,” Julia and has been for the whole year, as shown by the Five Cameron outlines a course for “a spiritual path for of Swords reversed. You higher creativity,” which know this. You have to cut Send questions to oracle@cltampa.com does seem like the path this baggage and transition or DM @theyboracle on Instagram. you’re on now. I’d suggest to something else, workVisit carolinedebruhl.com for more checking out the book, but, related, as shown by the Six of Swords and Ace of Pentacles. You know even if you don’t want to commit to the 12 this, too. This job that you have right now is not weeks required, I would encourage you to try sustainable. Regardless of what you do in the the exercise of “morning pages.” This is when future—which we’ll get to—you do need to see you, upon first waking, sit down and write about transitioning either to a similar position three pages by hand. Every day. Before cofat a new company or pivoting careers somehow fee. For 90 days. It’s important to do it in the morning because because this particular job is killing you. Even if your new job isn’t great, a fresh start might then you aren’t just recounting your day and it’s renew your energy to work on other pursuits important to do three pages, because it’s tough to bullshit for more than a page and a half. outside of work. With that Neptune transition and the Ace Eventually, these entries will start getting into of Wands, you feel the pull towards creativity, the nitty-gritty: what pisses you off, what you

ORACLE OF YBOR

yearn for, what dark thoughts and hidden pleasures you keep buried. To get a little Jungian about it, it’s excavating the Shadow. It might sound hokey, but it does work. I’ve done morning pages at different points over the years, as have many other writer-friends, and we do generally agree that some weird, buried shit comes to light. It’ll help you hone what you want (and clear up creative blocks). Once you have a clear picture, you can then figure out how to get it. As you are discovering your inner world, The Hermit also points to connecting to and receiving messages from the universe. While doing 90 days of morning pages, you might spend two hours a week doing something for your spirituality. Maybe it’s a meditative walk, or prayer to a deity, or some type of spell work, but making that a habit may allow you to receive some guidance or sharpen that intuition. The Hermit is one who lives in the moment and understands that that’s all life is—a series of moments. It’s not something frivolous to be wasted. As you welcome change into your life, either through a new job or a move or whatever it is you discover you want, know that you’re being intentional with your time. It takes great courage to examine your life and to break away from what you’ve known. Whatever you decide to do with your time, I hope it enriches and nurtures your soul. We only have a short time on this rock before we shake off this mortal coil, so I hope you get to reclaim it and use it as you desire. Best of luck, my dear.

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52 | DEC. 28, 2023-JAN. 03, 2024 | cltampabay.com

Quickies By Dan Savage

What’s with all the caging in gay porn? The appeal of male chastity devices seems obvious to me: a cock cage instantly turns the most important thing about a male porn performer into the least important thing. Paradoxically, male chastity devices pull visual focus toward a performer’s dick—they draw the eye—while shifting the focus of the action away from the performer’s dick. Gay guys into dirty talk enjoy saying things like, “I’m just a hole, Sir!”, but gay guys who wear male chastity devices really commit to the bit. Also, quality male chastity devices—like the ones made by the evil geniuses at Steelwerks (steelwerksextreme.com)—aren’t cheap, so conspicuous consumption, consumer culture, and late-stage capitalism all factor in. I’ve been having more sex ever since opening up my relationship. I had an experience with one of my hookups where I wasn’t able to stay hard and ever since then it keeps on happening. I feel like now I get so in my head worrying about if I’m hard or if I’m going to get hard that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Do you have any advice on how to get out of my head and stop worrying about being hard? Taking ED meds—temporarily—can help boost your confidence and get you out of your head. I am a sex-repulsed asexual. I would like to have a committed romantic relationship that does not involve sex. Committing to me means forgoing sex entirely, as the idea of my partner being sexual with others is repulsive to me. Am I obligated to disclose my asexuality? When I disclose these facts in advance, I am refused dates. When I wait until I have been dating someone for some months to disclose these facts, I face angry accusations of deceit. If I asked a woman out on a date and spent months wining and dining her, that woman would make the perfectly reasonable assumption that I was interested in her romantically and sexually. And when she found out I wasn’t interested in her — when she learned I was leveraging her perfectly reasonable assumption (he’s into women) to get some other thing I wanted (her Netflix password)—she would have every right to be furious with me. So, just as the overwhelming majority of men who date women are straight, the overwhelming majority of people seeking romantic partners are sexual. By failing to disclose your acute asexuality in advance (lifelong celibacy is a big ask), you’re weaponizing the reasonable assumptions others might make based on your actions to get what you want. And not only shouldn’t you do that, I don’t understand why you need to. The Internet exists and sex-repulsed asexuals can find other sex-repulsed asexuals online. If getting

on a dating app for asexuals doesn’t appeal to you, get on Twitter or BlueSky or Threads and look for people complaining about sex scenes in movies and ask one of them out. Is it safe to put numbing cream on your partner’s dick as part of D/s pleasure denial? Numb creams are safe to use on dicks—as are more torturous creams, like Ice Hot or Bengay— but they’re not safe to use on holes, as a numb hole is an easily injured hole. If you put numbing cream on your sub’s dick, be sure to roll a condom over it before you slide that zombie dick into your ass or pussy. I love getting facials but my partner won’t come on my face. How to convince them? You can only impress upon him that facials are something you enjoy—maybe he’ll come around (and come on your face), maybe he won’t. If he thinks they’re degrading and doesn’t wanna degrade you, explain to him that desired degradation play is affirming, not degrading. If he’s worried you’ll wanna kiss him with his load all over your face, promise you’ll go wash up immediately after. If it’s just not something he enjoys for reasons he can’t fully articulate, take no for an answer. Does the booty remember how to take certain sizes of dick? If you’ve taken larger dicks and your bigdicked partners provided you with lots of anal foreplay, lots of lube, took it slow, etc., you and your booty will be less anxious, less fearful, and more relaxed when that big dick comes at you again. It’s less about muscle memory and more associating anal stimulation/penetration with pleasure. It’s the good times booty remembers, not certain sizes. What’s the best way to dispose of old sex toys? Fast Company recently covered the movement to keep trash out of landfills by tasking manufacturers, not consumers, with the safe disposal: “Swedish academic Thomas Lindhqvist framed this idea in 1990 as a strategy to decrease products environmental impacts by making manufacturers responsible for the goods’ entire life cycles—especially for takeback, recycling, and final disposal.” If we can make that work for computers, phones, and video game consoles, it should work for vibrating remote controlled butt plugs— but since these systems aren’t up and running yet, you’ll have to put those old sex toys in a box and shove them in the back of your closet for the time being. Tips for moving in together besides lots of communication and giving each other enough space?

Equal division of household labor does not mean equal division of each and every task. So, if one of you doesn’t mind washing the dishes and is, in fact, totally excellent at it (like me), that person should wash the dishes. If one of you is the kind of controlling OCD freak who gets off on meticulously folding laundry for hours, that person should do the laundry (like my husband). Also, get my book “Savage Love From A to Z” and read the chapter on the “Price of Admission” aloud to each other in bed. Woman, age 38, in a loving, long-term relationship. What’s your best tip for getting out of the inevitable sexual rut? At the start of a relationship, you’re the adventure they’re on, they’re the adventure you’re on—it’s a combo that makes for effortlessly adventurous sex. If you want to get that adventurous feeling back after five or 10 years, you have to go on adventures together, e.g., go to sex clubs, have sex somewhere you might get caught, book a joint session with an erotic body worker, etc. Can I still be a lesbian even if I don’t like receiving oral sex? I like giving and other activities. I will allow it. P.S. There are gay men who don’t like anal (they’re called “sides”) and straight men who prefer eating pussy to fucking pussy (no catchy name). Masc lesbians who liked to give oral sex but didn’t like to receive it were once known as “stone butch dykes,” so lesbians like you—assuming you’re butch— have a catchy name and a storied history. Your pillow princess is out there.

Should poly people date people who aren’t poly? And if we do, aren’t we just setting everyone involved up for a lot of heartache? Most people want monogamy, most romantic relationships are monogamous, most breakups involve monogamous people, so most heartache is generated and experienced by monogamous people—so, if we were serious about reducing the amount heartache in the world, what we need to do is convince monogamous people to stop dating each other. P.S. “Someone who asks me out is single and available and ultimately looking for a monogamous relationship”—that’s another perfectly reasonable assumption people make. So, while a poly person may be available, they aren’t seeking a monogamous relationship… and they need to disclose that, so the person they’re asking out can make an informed choice. I know from unicorns, but my girlfriend and I can’t find a bi guy who is into both of us? What gives? I shared your question a woman—a good friend—in an open relationship with a bisexual guy. They’ve had some success landing bi guys (I’ve heard some stories), and she had some advice for you: “He should have his girlfriend create a profile on a kinky dating site and make it really good with lots of excellent photos and a specific, sexy, and playful description of what she’s into and why,” said my friend. “Make it hot and the men will come. Finding a double match—finding someone who is into them both—is harder than just locating a bisexual guy, especially if they’re mismatched in age and (just going to be blunt) relative attractiveness. I say in my ads that I’m partnered and looking for hotwife/stag-vixen dynamics, which generates responses from men who are at the very least comfortable with another man being present. Sometimes these guys express bisexual interests, sometimes they don’t. Ultimately, it’s a numbers game that can feel like a full-time job. But there are bi guys out there and they shouldn’t give up!”

SAVAGE LOVE

I came out while in a manic episode. Am I still queer? If you came out as intersex and you’re actually intersex, you’re still queer. If you came out as gay or lesbian but post-mania you’re no longer attracted to members of your sex, you’re not queer. If you came out as bi and post-mania you’re still attracted to people of both and/or all sexes and/or both and/or all genders, you’re queer. If you came out as sapiosexual or fictosexual or objectumsexual or pomosexual, you were never queer—just annoying. What can I do, as a straight person, to express allyship to the LGBT community without looking like a virtue-signaling douche bag? It’s less about what you can do and more about what you can stop doing. Stop discriminating against queer people, stop voting for people who attack queer people, stop giving straight friends or family members a pass when they say shitty things about queer people. Keeping your foot on someone’s neck requires a lot of effort. Stop making that effort.

My husband has a huge cock and wants anal. I’m afraid of that giant thing dick in my ass. Help. Buy two sets of insertion toys ranging in size from much smaller than your husband’s dick to ever-so-so-slightly bigger than your husband’s dick. Using lots of lube, work your way up from the smallest toy to the largest toy over a period of months. Having lots of orgasms along the way will help to create a strong association between anal penetration and sexual pleasure. Oh, and you’re going to need two sets because one is for your ass and the other is for your husband’s ass. Send your question to mailbox@savage.love. Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love.

cltampabay.com | DEC. 28, 2023-JAN. 03, 2024 | 53

creative loafing puzzler 114 Trip heading: 74 ___ Lisa 83 Lacerate 13 Rather’s abbr. 75 Went to waste. 84 Pay ending replacement? 115 Role for Buddy maybe 85 Tale teller 14 Mt. Nebo’s home 116 Inuit’s knife 87 One of the Furies 15 Completely 76 ___-Magnon ACROSS 117 Marceau’s 89 Fence part 16 Overly 77 Plane, e.g. 1 Accelerated everyman 90 Sign on an 17 Golf coup 78 Ms. Lanchester 7 Prepares, as Einstein’s door 21 Hubbub 79 Charlie Brown 118 Hungarian sister onions 92 Country houses 23 Early video game comment 12 Treat as the same 94 Holy place 25 Koch et al. 81 True 18 Actress Danes 95 Certain particle 28 Problem companion? 19 Sharpened 96 Jacket material 31 Related 86 Novelist Grafton 20 Munchy baked 98 Behaved 32 What a soldier’s 87 Into Day 5 of a good nervously made of three-day pass 22 Noted spy 101 1852 novel 33 Oaf 88 Unaccompanied 24 Talking at the 107 In the style of 34 “Yes ___” 89 Commoner, movies? 108 ___ Island Earth 35 Stares at stars briefly 26 Pompadour, for 109 Start of a lawyer’s 36 Handouts 91 Twitches example: abbr. line 39 Former space 92 Mosquitoes, e.g. 27 Miami golf resort 110 What or have station 93 Ms. Lupino 28 Green of Buffy the follower 40 Borodin’s prince 96 Lipstick mishaps Vampire Slayer 112 Family 41 Science show 97 Old superpower 29 Flashback drug famous for its 42 Film river 98 Buddy 30 Jean Harlow, e.g. “controlled 43 “___ get nosy, 99 Vera’s intro 35 Daly co-star, once demolitions” bub” 100 African capital 37 Richard III et al. 115 Actress born in 44 Truck weight 101 Star Trek role 38 ___ pro nobis Smyrna, Ga. 45 Ms. Brockovich 102 Calls off 39 Ms. West 119 Wipe-out of a sort 46 ___ de triomphe 103 Señor feature 40 Signing 120 Like a Pliny 47 Go wild 104 Bay window 43 Bar habitué 121 Mexican muralist 48 Mr. Acheson 105 “The Lady ___” PUZZLE FANS ! 49 Bride’s concern 122 Faust et al. 50 Yossarian’s 106 Dame’s intro For info on Merl's 50 ___ interpretation 123 Showdowns bunkmate 108 Bull prefix Sunday crossword 52 Lofty 124 James of Wolf 51 Dessert 111 Old autocrat anthologies, visit 54 Eggs sometimes thrown 113 Jolt with www.sunday 55 “___ the Songs” DOWN 53 High-tech I.D. crosswords.com. electricity 57 Round Table title 1 Swindle 55 “___ man 58 Kettering’s partner 2 Like ballpark answers ...” Solution to The Hollywood Shuffle (5) 59 Flavor franks 56 Some cookware P A M E L A S V I D A N P R KON A introduced by 3 Art supporter? 57 Backyard basking I SO L A T E A V E R I R E A L E X Ben and Jerry in 4 Morse morsel spot T H E S T E A L ME F A L CON R A Z E Y E T E NN I O A L OE V E R A 1989 5 William Tell’s 60 Baloney S S T T OMT S T E WW O R L D 64 Active European home 61 Dixie Chicks T H E E T H E R S I S T E R S A K E L A YOD A B E E S OR Y ON E B A D volcano 6 About to happen honor: abbr. RON I S R R AMS P P D E ND 65 Poison ___ 7 Singing group 62 One on a tirade A P A T CHO F L U B E L E I A COY 66 Definition of “an 8 Michael Bolton 63 “Serves you OE R SO L E B URN P C S MY L I T T L E CH E C K I D E A island”? hit, “___ right!” DOS V I O L K E RR OA S 67 Put-on I Supposed To 68 Set shout T ON S E E P S E RGE A N T OR K Y H A T H R S T O T O T S E AWE 69 Chester Arthur’s Live Without You” 69 “Now we’re E J E C T S CH A I AGO S N AG middle name 9 Sixteen oz. getting T ORR E T H E R E S SOME T H I NG A BOU TMY R A GME N RU E 72 Crossword-book 10 For each somewhere” C L E R I C A L P O L A R WHO publisher 11 Weather 70 Protracted AQU I E A S T D I E SWE S T D I E S HU L A T N T A S T I F E L I N E S 80 Lift Underground org. 71 Adjutant SOU L S T Y ME A S T R EMO L O 73 Finishes off 82 Space-saving bed 12 Completed I’D LIKE TO BUY ALL 5 VOWELS by Merl Reagle

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