San antonio current may 13, 2015

sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 3

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17

CONTENTS May 13-19, 2015

39

A Tale Of Three Suitors A more modern, progressive Far from the Madding Crowd

33 FOOD Hit-Or-Miss Stick with the sandos at Big Guido’s

10 NEWS Invisible Neighbors SA Muslims reach for the American Dream, but a cloud of discrimination hangs over their heads

16 CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

Lunchtime Snob Head to Fattboy Burgers for all the customizing you could possibly need Culinary Calendar 6 ways to get your drink/grub on this week Flavor File Openings, closings and second locations

43 NIGHTLIFE

25 ARTS

Finding Zen At Hidden Dragon There’s a new cocktail bar on the city’s North Side

Putting The Graphic In Graphic Novel Sexican is not for the easily offended

Keeping Tabs Throwback rosés to sip on this summer

29 SCREENS

48 MUSIC

Mindless Thrill Ride Mad Max reboot skips plot in favor of explosion porn

San Anto Soul A rundown of the 34th Tejano Conjunto Festival

8 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

50

La Hija Del Pueblo Since debuting at age 7, Linda Escobar has become a definitive voice in tejano

This Ain’t No Mouse Music!

Q&A with the brainpower behind a documentary on Arhoolie Records Cult Of Flaco Jiménez A paean to the greatest accordionist of all time Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

62 ETC.

Savage Love Free Will Astrology Jonesin’ Crossword This Modern World

ON THE COVER

The local Muslim community is no monolith, yet most still live in post-9/11 fear of becoming hate crime victims Photographer: Josh Huskin Model: Reggie De La Garza Art Director: Eli Miller

sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 9

NEWS

SARAH BROOKE LYONS

SA’s home to a growing Muslim community, around 30,000 now. They pray at mosques such as the Islamic Center of San Antonio (above). But many live in fear of becoming victims of hate crimes.

INVISIBLE NEIGHBORS SA’s Muslim Community Perseveres Despite Facing Discrimination MARK REAGAN/@210REAGAN

Does the name Ahmed al-Jumaili ring a bell?

Probably not.

Perhaps the names Elton Simpson and Nadir Soofi sound more familiar.

The two men were shot and killed by police in a Dallas suburb just over a week ago, when they opened fire outside a controversial cartoon exhibit of the Prophet Mohammad organized by hate-monger Pamela Geller.

Most Muslims consider depictions of the Prophet to be offensive, though none actually protested the event.

After news spread of the terrorist attempt, Muslims in San Antonio braced themselves for an endless onslaught of Islam-bashing by media commentators and 10 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

on social media.

“Those men are just like any criminals. Why are they calling them Muslims?” asked Sarwat Husain, founding president of the San Antonio chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations, a national advocacy group.

Al-Jumaili, however, was not a criminal and the 17-yearold accused of killing him was allegedly seeking out rival gang members, not Muslims.

The victim, an Iraqi man, had been in the United States for just over three weeks and was taking pictures of snow — something he had never seen before — when he was murdered in Dallas just over two months ago in an apparent case of mistaken identity.

After he was killed, there was rampant media speculation that his death was a hate crime. It wasn’t. But that didn’t stop fear from spreading through close-knit Muslim communities in Texas cities.

It’s no surprise then that the murderous intentions of Simpson and Soofi, which were fueled by their admiration of the terrorist group Islamic State, also known as ISIS or ISIL, would also instill panic — perhaps to a greater extent.

Just two days after the attack made headlines and consumed airwaves across the country, a Muslim child was allegedly attacked in a San Antonio school, according to Husain.

But she wouldn’t provide details, insisting she was not at liberty to identify the victim.

She had a reason.

“The fear factor is so high in the community,” she

told the San Antonio Current. “All of a sudden, after what happened in Dallas, everyone was on alert in San Antonio, in the state and the nation.”

That’s reminiscent of post-9/11 and just about every time there’s an altercation involving Muslims or Islam — people clam up, unwilling to speak up to report crimes, fearing retaliation.

“About two or three weeks ago, a Muslim woman wearing a hijab was attacked real badly at Home Depot,” Husain said in an interview last week. “So those kind of attacks do take place. Some are reported to us, but most are not reported to us.”

That sounds alarming. Hate crimes are apparently still happening in the Alamo City, but the news stays within the Muslim community. And yet other attacks could be taking place but news doesn’t go farther than the victim’s home, if that.

According to the Texas Department of Public Safety’s latest crime statistics, from 2013, Lone Star State law enforcement agencies reported 135 hate crimes with just over two percent labeled as anti-Islam and nearly one-and-a-half percent described as antiArabic. The San Antonio Police Department reported 11 hate crimes that same year.

Religious discrimination is the fourth-most common hate crime in Texas and the majority of reports are assaults.

Good Neighbors There are approximately 30,000 Muslims who call San Antonio home and they come from 57 different countries,

NEWS

Adopted Country Khanum, Palthau and Hussain — all longtime Alamo City residents — reflect the national Muslim demographic.

They’re mostly foreign imports who take pride in embracing their new home and becoming Americans.

According to a 2011 national survey by the Pew Research Center, 63 percent of Muslim-Americans who

are 18 or older are immigrants and 25 percent of U.S. Muslim adults arrived post-2000.

So they may have come from elsewhere, but most clearly made it a goal to integrate and gain citizenship (81 percent of those surveyed said they became Americans).

Most Alamo City Muslims are immigrants who followed the American dream. Yet they are often asked to apologize for extremist fundamentalists who commit violent acts against innocent people in the name of Islam.

Mainstream media distorts their religion. This convolution trickles into millions of households across the country, which in turn negatively molds perceptions of Muslim-Americans.

And Tea Party Republicans pandering for votes and financial contributions add fuel to the fire with their incessant xenophobic rhetoric.

A 2014 Pew Research Center study shows Republicans generally view Muslims through a negative lens.

Researchers used a scale of zero to 100 to measure how Americans felt about all religious groups, with a low score indicating a negative view. Republicans rated Muslims at an average of 33. They rated atheists at 34.

Evangelical Protestants seem to shun Muslims the most. And as we well know in SA and Texas, they’re not in short supply here.

But there is a more visceral reason for discrimination.

Many Muslims look and speak differently than the stereotypical white American.

According to Acevedo, discrimination often targets women who wear a hijab, or veil which covers everything but the face. He calls the practice an external display of faith.

“I think a second area would be for men who, frankly, have physical characteristics of being Middle Eastern,” he said. “Men often report discrimination because of physical appearance — skin tone or sometimes they wear a longer beard.”

Looks elicit harassment from people who are bullies, racists, religious bigots or just plain ignorant.

Take Sikhs, for example. They don’t follow Islam but their tradition calls for them to wear head turbans, leading many to see them as Muslim.

Muslims also pray five times a day. At colleges with heavy presences of foreign exchange students from Middle Eastern countries, it’s not uncommon to see someone praying on bent knees with bowed backs.

“Any time people engage in public religious expression, it may be problematic to other people,” Acevedo said.

“There are lots of reports of Muslim men praying in airports or holding religious beads that causes some people tension.”

Both Husain and Hussain told stories about being detained in airports for hours upon hours of questioning, often leading them to miss their flight.

Whether discrimination is rooted in religious bigotry or xenophobia or a combination of both, this American obsession really took off after the 9/11 attacks.

“9/11 was a watershed moment,” Acevedo said. “It’s quite fair to say targeting Muslim immigrants in the United States is linked to 9/11 and linked to the continuing war on terrorism and geopolitical conflict around the world.”

But just like ISIS or Al Qaeda don’t reflect the values

of the majority of Muslims, lightning-rod activist Geller and her propensity to mock Islam doesn’t represent that majority of non-Muslim Americans.

“I think what ends up happening, really on both sides of these issues, is extreme views and extreme actions always tend to be very provocative and really don’t represent what the vast majority of people feel and experience,” Acevedo said.

Still, San Antonio’s Muslim community, like others across the country, continues to encounter societal resistance.

That’s why Husain tirelessly works toward confronting misguided views and telling anyone who will listen that Muslim-Americans aren’t any different from other Americans.

“I wish, instead of doing this, or educating people in this way, I wish it was more peaceful,” she said. “I’m thankful for God that he’s given me an opportunity. What little I’m doing, something needs to be done.”

Real Struggle Husain was in Austin last week testifying at a legislative hearing about a bill proposed by State Rep. Jeff Leach from Plano called “American Laws for American Courts.”

The bill would prevent “foreign forum selection” and “foreign laws” from superseding state and federal laws and courts. The proposal is specific to marriages, divorces and any lawsuit affecting parent-child relationships.

While Leach didn’t single out any religion, Husain said the bill is anti-Sharia Law, the traditional Islamic legal system. She believes Leach’s proposal is a reaction to Islamic Tribunals, a non-binding arbitration process used CONTINUED ON PAGE 13 ►

BRYAN RINDFUSS

Husain said.

“It’s a very cosmopolitan, diverse group,” she said.

“The customs are different. The languages are different.

We all look different. It’s fun to be that way because we are a global community.”

In 2005, Husain told the Current that roughly 13,000 Muslims lived in the Alamo City. So the population has more than doubled over a decade, which doesn’t surprise Gabriel Acevedo, a sociology professor at UTSA. While there’s no real empirical data on Muslims in Bexar County, Acevedo said they’re mostly immigrants.

“It is possible, like with other parts of the country, that Muslims may be highly-educated and work in very specialized fields,” Acevedo said.

Muhammad Palthau, and his wife Fehmida Khanum, owners of Ali Baba restaurant near the Medical Center, fit that bill.

“I came here 20 years ago,” said Palthau, a pathologist by training.

Khanum was also a physician when the couple lived in Pakistan. Now she works as an ultrasound tech.

Their children grew up in the U.S. and are now in college.

If there’s xenophobia here, they said, it’d be news to them.

“We are proud here. We are safe here,” Palthau said. “I don’t see that discrimination. My first name is Mohammad and I don’t feel a thing. I’m proud to be American.”

Syed Hussain, who also has a stake in the restaurant, emigrated from Pakistan to New York City 35 years ago.

He also practices medicine and learned to speak Spanish while living in the Big Apple.

But he’s got a different take than Khanum and Palthau on discrimination.

“We are the new scapegoat,” he said.

Hussain blames mainstream media for conflating Muslims with terrorists, leading to ignorance and hatred.

For instance, Hussain said media doesn’t specify the religious background of terrorists operating in South America or Central America.

“No one says anything like that,” he mused.

Yet, ironically, extremists across the world do have a common trait, according to Hussain, echoing a sentiment with which many Americans would identify.

“Those terrorists don’t have religion,” he said.

He speaks not only from conviction, but also from experience.

“I was 10 blocks away from the first World Trade Center when it was going down,” he said. “That was a sad day in the world.”

Khanum said she cried.

That’s when life for Muslims in the United States turned upside down. They became scapegoats for the attack.

“When my daughter was in third grade, she was 6 or 7 after 9/11, she came home and asked if I was a terrorist,” Hussain said.

Sarwat Husain has become a voice for many local Muslims.

sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 11

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NEWS

SARAH BROOKE LYONS

Muslims in SA say all they want is a chance at the American Dream, just like everyone else.

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 11 (SA MUSLIMS)

to settle civil matters.

“These are the leaders, the elected officials, who do not understand their own laws — state and federal,” Husain said. “We have the best judicial system in the world. And they are talking about going to some Muslim place, getting a divorce and coming back here. They still have a right to go to court!”

While Leach’s proposal is preposterous because the U.S. judicial system already trumps Islamic Tribunals — or any other religious method of arbitration, like beth din, a rabbinical court used by Orthodox Jews — there are other Lone Star State legislators who are openly hostile toward Muslims.

Take Molly White, a state representative from Belton.

During “Muslim Capitol Day” in February, White posted on Facebook that if any Muslims came to her office, she would ask them to renounce terrorism before speaking to them.

“I did leave an Israeli flag on the reception desk in my office with instructions to staff to ask representatives from the Muslim community to renounce Islamic terrorist groups and publicly announce allegiance to America and our

laws,” White wrote.

And then, of course, there’s Geller, who organized the provocative “Draw Mohammad” event in suburban Dallas last week.

“What happened in Dallas, the shooting … that should not have happened,” Husain said, explaining that Geller is full of hate and fear, which she said she serves up through the smokescreen of free speech.

Geller may have gotten what she wished for in terms of the two Arizona men who attacked the event, one who was already on the FBI’s watchlist.

Yet thousands of local Muslims remained mum.

“Dallas and the surrounding areas have about 100,000 Muslims. None of them reacted or protested,” Husain said.

Those are real Muslims, unlike the growing cadre of opportunistic agitators who hijack Islam as a conduit for their terroristic endeavors.

The Arizona duo being just the latest example.

“They are not Muslims,” Husain said.

“If you take one life, it’s as if you have killed all of humanity.” mreagan@sacurrent.com

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BACK FROM THE DEAD

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It seemed for years that it was bound for extinction. Put on its death bed, it was all but gone.

Then a surprising move saved it, though basically it was left on life support.

Now supporters are keeping their fingers crossed for a fullfledged resurrection.

Professor Aimee Villarreal leads OLLU’s ethnic studies revival.

That’s precisely Aimee Villarreal’s goal.

The anthropologist has been tasked by Our Lady of the date back to the Chicano civil rights Lake University to bring back and grow movement in the 1960s and 1970s. its all-but-defunct Mexican-American It was Mexican-American students, Studies program. faculty and members of SA’s immigrantShe has come up with a plan, which heavy West Side, in which the campus has already been approved by her peers is located, who called for the creation and now awaits final approval by the of the program. That was in 1971. It led university’s board of trustees, expected to two new courses, though the major later this month. wasn’t offered until the 1990s.

The program, officially a bachelor’s But it has been far from easy sailing degree in Comparative Mexicanfor the program. It suffered from chronic American Studies, seeks to balance low enrollment. the old with the new. Assuming it gets Then, in 2012, after graduating the green light, it’d officially launch this just two students in nearly a decade, fall semester.

Tessa Martinez Pollack, the university’s “Our goal was to honor the legacy president at the time, decided to and active spirit of the discipline include it among a dozen programs to while making modifications that be nixed. are responsive to a new generation Students and professors loudly of scholars who are living in protested the move, in part leading to an increasingly globalized and Pollack’s eventual resignation. interconnected world,” said Villarreal, So the Mexican American Studies who was hired last year. program essentially sat in a vegetative The new program is slated to offer state until last year, when new concentrations in either Cultural Studies, President Jane Ann Slater revived it, leaning toward the arts and humanities, taking it back from the list of majors or in Social Transformation, which takes to be eliminated. She concluded it more of a social science approach and deserved another shot. which will be also offered as a minor.

So, the program is basically now Planned new courses include: Barrio back from the dead.

Art and Popular Culture, Borderlands The question now will be whether it’ll and the Black Atlantic and Voices of once again fall into a desolate no-man’s Women of Color. land or if it will draw new interest and Ultimately, the objective is to help attention and reach a competitive level create the next generation of national on par with similar academic efforts at Latino leaders. other area and state universities.

The roots of OLLU’s program hernan@sacurrent.com

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CALENDAR

SIGGI RAGNAR

Colombian vocalist Andrea Tierra performs Saturday with harpist Edmar Castañeda.

THU-SUN

14-17

International Music Festival FESTIVAL

Last year, Musical Bridges Around the World channeled its annual programming into a festival dedicated to “bonding different cultures together and promoting world peace, diversity and understanding.”

The nonprofit’s second annual International Music Festival returns this month with an entirely free program that wraps up May 24. Hosted between the Tobin, Trinity and San Fernando Cathedral, the eclectic engagement trots the globe to showcase the talents of Galician bagpipe diva Cristina Pato, American jazz pianist Vijay Iyer, Colombian harpist Edmar Castañeda and Syrian composer/clarinetist Kinan Azmeh. Free, Thu-Sun, (210) 464-1534, musicalbridges.org. — Bryan Rindfuss

16 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

FRI

15

Survive MUSIC

Austin-based minimalist synth weirdos Survive make the kind of music that you’d expect to hear in the background of an apocalyptic sci-fi or horror movie. Electro-ambient pulses and beats form maddeningly suspenseful patterns that become tangled in each other and find release in patiently constructed, and often surprisingly cathartic, resolutions.

Coupled with the power of Paper Tiger’s impeccable sound system, Survive’s set, like a soundtrack to your aimlessness and disillusionment, should be a veritable out-of-body experience. Be sure to visit survive.bandcamp.com for a solid pre-show primer. $7, 9pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertiger.queueapp.com.

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The Playhouse presents 4000 Miles.

The cover of Survive’s maxi-single “MF064.”

FRI-SUN

15-17

4000 Miles THEATER

Amy Herzog tackles loss, relationships, and smoking pot with your grandma in 4000 Miles, her Obie Awardwinning drama following a young man in search of solace and the 91-year-old spitfire that gives it to him. Playwright Herzog modeled the central characters after her own zesty grandmother and a free-spirited cousin to offer what’s been called a “heartening reminder that a keen focus on life’s small moments can pay off in a big way.” Expect to laugh, and maybe cry, too. Bill Gundry directs Christopher Boneta and Sam Carter Gilliam in the Playhouse’s production. $12-$30, 8pm Fri-Sat, 3pm Sun, The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258, theplayhousesa.org. — Murphi Cook

FRI-TUE

15-19

‘Los Tejanos’ EXHIBIT

The Institute of Texan Cultures was faced with the daunting task of cramming 500 years of history into 2,000 square feet for its new exhibit “Los Tejanos.” The result? An interactive space that explores “how the culture defines itself” via five settings: a modern kitchen, an 18th-century ranch house, a 1940s classroom, a doctor’s office and a 1930s plaza created by painter Carmen Lomas Garza. To celebrate the opening, the museum will offer free admission on May 17 for a day of kid-friendly tours and activities inspired by the exhibit. $6-$8, 9am-5pm Fri-Sat, noon-5pm Sun., 9am5pm Mon-Tue, Institute of Texan Cultures, 801 E. César E. Chávez Blvd., (210) 458-2300, texancultures.com. — MC

CALENDAR

OPEN features fashions by Bonjour Biqui.

FRI-TUE

15-19

OPEN Pop-Up Shops SPECIAL EVENT

After activating vacant storefronts along Houston Street in December of 2013 and 2014, the OPEN Pop-Up shops hop across 281 to take over four spots in historic St. Paul Square.

The collaborative initiative is designed to engage customers while authenticating downtown “as a vibrant urban space ready for long-term investment.” Besides tempting shoppers with everything from locally crafted apparel and pet jewelry to folk art and beauty products, OPEN features a steady stream of food trucks, live music and DJ sets, pet adoptions, yoga classes and even a movie night. Free, 5-9pm Fri, 10am-6pm Sat-Sun, 5-9pm Mon-Tue, 1142, 1160, 1167 & 1170 E. Commerce St., opensanantonio.com. — BR

Austin-based quartet Bright Light Social Hour.

SAT

16

Bright Light Social Hour MUSIC

Like a piñata exploding on impact, Austin’s Bright Light Social Hour sprays your ears with musical candy combining dance-driven bass grooves and funky guitar riffs. Over the last decade, the quartet’s sound has progressed from dance-rock with a classic rock foundation (reminiscent of bands like Electric Six) to spacey, psychedelic progressive rock with post-rock tendencies. In March, the group released its latest effort, Space is Still the Place, a self-described “future south” concept album that embraces Southern culture with political optimism based on personal experiences. $12, 10pm, Jack’s Bar, 3030 Thousand Oaks Dr., (210) 494-2309, jacksbarsa.com.

— Erik Casarez

SUN-TUE

17-19

Pink Leche plays Hi-Tones on Tuesday in conjunction with Local Music Week.

Local Music Week MUSIC

Created in 2010 as a nod to Local Media Month in April, SA’s Local Music Week, engineered chiefly by SATX Music and Local 782, is essentially a week-long call to get your butt out and listen local. On Sunday, the Hot Dog Social (3-8 p.m.) at Hi-Tones kicks off the communal festivities and encourages connections between musicians, promoters, music journalists and fans. As for the rest of the scatter-shot event, your best bet is to check out the website listed below for a plethora of LMW options.

One show we are especially excited about, if only for its sheer diversity, finds Pink Leche, Ila Minori and Collective Dreams at Hi-Tones on Tuesday at 9 p.m. do210.com/localmusicweek. — JC

TUE

19

International Museum Day ART

Preceded by the confusingly similar National Art Museum Day — observed by the San Antonio Museum of Art with free admission on May 17 — International Museum Day unites upwards of 30,000 institutions across the globe on (or around) May 18. Launched by the International Council of Museums in 1977, IDM is designed to raise awareness about the role museums play in the development of society. The McNay picks up IMD’s 2015 theme of “Museums for a Sustainable Society” by inviting guests for a BYO Tuesday afternoon picnic on the grounds and a walking tour of the outdoor sculpture collection. Free, noon-4pm, McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368, mcnayart.org. — BR

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CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

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Jamie Brickhouse

MON-TUE

18-19

Experience

Excerpted in The New York Times and celebrated by the likes of The Washington Post, Out and Kirkus Reviews, native Texan Jamie Brickhouse’s new memoir Dangerous When Wet paints a bittersweet, bitingly funny portrait of life with and without two major forces in his life: booze and his larger-than-life mother, Mama Jean. Born and raised in Beaumont, Brickhouse moved to New York and found success in the publishing industry while dangerously indulging in liquor, drugs and gay sex. Although Mama Jean encouraged him to become a writer, it wasn’t until after her death in 2009 that her “happy little prince” (sober and HIV-positive) enrolled in the writing workshop that sparked his enthusiastically received literary debut. On Thursday, The Twig hosts Brickhouse for a conversation with Trinity University Dean of English, Dr. Coleen Grissom, to be followed by a Q&A and book signing. Free, 5:30-7:30pm, The Twig Book Shop, 306 Pearl Pkwy., (210) 826-6411, thetwig.com. — Bryan Rindfuss

In its 25 years as an ensemble, SOLI has never shied from adding new elements — musical or otherwise — to shake up typical expectations of the chamber music concert experience. Even then, its 2014-15 season closer Experience seems a step beyond. Billed as a “multi-media sight-and-sound experience,” the program looks to supplement the quartet’s forward-thinking set of six original compositions with projections, live electronic and silent film elements. The six original works featured in Experience each feature a pairing of composer and visual artist. Perhaps most notable of these collaborations is that of San Antonio-based media artist Gary Wise and recently commissioned SOLI composer Pierre Jalbert. Their work, titled Street Antiphons, looks to set Jalbert’s highly rhythmic score with Wise’s immersive visuals, which will be projected throughout the concert space. $10-$25, preconcert talk at 7pm, concert at 7:30pm Mon, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle; pre-concert talk at 7pm, concert at 7:30pm Tue, Ruth Taylor Recital Hall, Trinity University, One Trinity Pl., solichamberensemble.com. — J.D. Swerzenski

Art

“Superhero Exhibit and Contest” Aztlan’s

Art opening: “Brushed by Jesus Christ”

AnArte hosts an opening reception for local artist Michael Wayne’s new abstract painting series “Brushed by Jesus Christ.” Free, 6-8pm Wednesday; AnArte Gallery, 7959 Broadway, (210) 826-5674.

“Anne Frank – A History for Today”

Developed by the Anne Frank House in New York and geared for children between the ages of 11 and 18, this touring exhibit presents the life and times of Anne Frank through her diary, family photographs and a documentary, and aims to serve as a foundation for community dialogue about the effects of intolerance in the past and today. Free, 9am-noon Wednesday, 3-5pm Thursday, 9am-noon Friday, 9am-noon Monday; Anne Frank Inspire Academy, 11216 Bandera Rd., (210) 638-5900.

Brunch on the Bus SAMA’s Brunch on the

Bus event includes a 30-minute tour of the traveling retrospective “Jamie Wyeth” followed by mimosas and light fare (courtesy of Commonwealth Coffeehouse & Bakery) aboard a City Sightseeing doubledecker bus and a stop at the new Alamo Beer brewery. $40-$50, 10am-1pm Sunday; San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones St., (210) 978-8100.

“Faces of Survival” Organized by UTSA

graduate and honor students, “Faces of Survival” uses the Holocaust as a model to explore “the conditions which can lead to genocide at any time, in any place: Germany, Cambodia, Armenia, Rwanda,

Guatemala and other nations.” $6-$8, 9am-5pm Wednesday-Saturday, noon5pm Sunday, 9am-5pm Monday-Tuesday; Institute of Texan Cultures, 801 E. César E. Chávez Blvd., (210) 458-2300.

“It Takes a Village” Although based in

New York, Alejandro Diaz’s influence can be felt all over his native San Antonio. A master of disarming viewers with humor while engaging them in conversations about identity politics, Diaz’s new solo exhibition “It Takes A Village” employs reinterpretations of iconic styles to address current issues of class and culture. Free, noon-5pm Wednesday-Saturday, SPACE Gallery; 111 Camp St., (210) 227-8400.

Jesse Amado: “30 Day Rx” Enigmatic,

unpredictable and accomplished are but a few of the words that come to mind when considering Jesse Amado, a San Antonio artist who’s represented in collections stretching from the McNay to the Smithsonian. Drawing from his personal experience with illness, Amado’s latest body of work employs richly colored virgin wool felt cuttings to address “the gamut of ways that pharmaceuticals inflect our daily lives.”

Free, 11am-4pm Tuesday-Saturday; RuizHealy Art, 201-A E. Olmos Dr., (210) 804-2219.

My Big Fat Greek McNay Party The McNay

invites guests to don their finest “Greek chic” attire for this festive fundraiser with a DJ, silent auction, belly dancers, a photo booth, “copious Greek delicacies,” specialty cocktails, plate smashing and a costume contest. $75-$100, 7pm-midnight Friday; 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 805.1761.

annual “Superhero Exhibit and Contest” encourages young artists to draw creative inspiration from “real-life heroes, comicbook art, anime, mythological figures or a positive role model they know and admire.” Free, noon-3pm Saturday; Centro Cultural Aztlan, 1800 Fredericksburg Rd. #103, (210) 432-1896.

”Selfies: 50 at 50” Growing in leaps and

bounds since its formation in 1965, the Southwest School of Art is now Texas’ only independent art college. To celebrate half a century of educating, inspiring and showcasing artists, SSA presents a group show of diverse self-portraits created by 50 individuals associated with the school.

Also on view: “The Amazing Memorable Thing,” a poppy painting series by artist/ educator Christopher Rabb. Free, 9am-5pm Wednesday-Saturday, 11am-4pm Sunday, 9am-5pm Monday-Tuesday; Southwest School of Art - Navarro Campus, 1201 Navarro St., (210) 224-1848.

Film

Jesus Christ Superstar with Ted Neely Live Alamo Drafthouse hosts a special

screening of Norman Jewison’s 1973 adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice’s epic rock opera and a Q&A with star Ted Neeley (Jesus) and fellow cast members Kurt Yagjhiam (Annas) and Larry Marshall (Simon Zealotes). $12, 7:30pm Monday; Alamo Drafthouse Park North, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 677-8500.

R.E.M. by MTV Drawing on archival

footage from the MTV vaults, R.E.M. by MTV traces R.E.M. in real time and tells the story of the band from its early days through to stadium tours around the world. Co-presented by Fathom Events and Rhino Entertainment, this one-nightonly screening encompasses television performances, award show appearances, clips from live concerts and interviews with Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. $12-$15, 7:30pm Tuesday; Cinemark McCreless Market (4224 S. New Braunfels Ave.), Cielo Vista 18 (2828 Cinema Ridge), Santikos Embassy 14 (13707 Embassy Row), Santikos Rialto (2938 NE Loop 410), Santikos Silverado 16 (11505 N. Loop 1604 W.), Santikos Palladium (17703 I-10 W.).

The Comedic West: Blazing Saddles

The Briscoe salutes Hollywood’s “historic embrace of the mythological West” with a film series reviving Mel Brooks’ 1974 satire about a corrupt political boss who appoints a black sheriff in hopes of ruining a frontier town circa 1874. Facilitated by Trinity history professor Carey Latimore, the outdoor screening features “food trucks, free popcorn and free beer.” $5 suggested donation, 6:30pm Tuesday; Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499.

Theater

Rumors Michael Burger directs the Vex’s

production of Neil Simon’s classic farce surrounding a dinner party that blows up when the host (the Mayor of New York) shoots himself in the ear lobe. $15-$21, 7:30pm Thursday, 8pm Saturday, 2:30pm

sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 19

KIDS ART CAMP COMMUNITY ADULT CLASSES Ages 5-18 STARTS JUNE 8

Register online at swschool.org 300 Augusta @ Navarro I San Antonio, TX 78205

20 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

Printmaking, Digital Media, Sculpture, Metals, & More STARTS JUNE 1

CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

Sunday, Sheldon Vexler Theatre, 12500 NW Military Hwy., (210) 302-6835.

The Journeymen and Womyn with a Y Written by Mike Wirsch and directed

by Liz Vermeulen, the Overtime’s latest dystopian drama brings together an absurd cast of characters (Satan, SuperPope, members of a suicide cult and “the most uninteresting man in the world”) for a Russian Roulette tournament. $10-$14, 8pm FridaySaturday; The Overtime Theater, 1203 Camden St., (210) 557-7562.

Institute delivers a “jaw-dropping” seminar shedding light on the ins and outs of servicing “sumptuous lady parts.” $15, 7pm Wednesday; Sexology Institute and Boutique, 727 S. Alamo St., (210) 487-0371.

“The Ukraine and Russia’s Grab for its Neighbors” World Affairs Council of San Antonio welcomes Ambassador Paula J. Dobriansky for a presentation outlining her call for the U.S. to “demonstrate its commitment to both regional security and a strong democratic future for European countries within Russia’s

‘sphere of influence.’” $15, 6:30pm Thursday; Pearl Stable, 312 Pearl Pkwy., (210) 308-9494.

Dance

Classical Indian Dance San Antonio Public Library celebrates Asian Pacific Heritage Month with a colorful performance of Bharatanatyam, a classical dance form that embodies the rich mythological heritage of India. Free, 2-3pm Saturday; San Pedro Branch Library, 1315 San Pedro Ave., (210) 207-9050.

Fiesta Noche del Rio Recently

recognized in Washington D.C. at the Kiwanis’ White House Community Leader Briefing, Fiesta Noche del Rio returns home to the Arneson River Theatre. Choreographed by Elizabeth Sanchez-Lopez, the 59th annual event showcases a “cavalcade of artists” in a seven-act spectacle celebrating songs and dances of Mexico, Spain, Argentina and Texas. $8-$20, 8:30pm FridaySaturday; Arneson River Theatre, 418 Villita St., (210) 226-4651

Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

Christopher Durang hijacks characters and themes from Russian playwright Anton Chekhov and forces them into a house in present day Bucks County, Pennsylvania in his comedy Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike. $10-$25, 8pm Thursday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday, Classic Theatre of San Antonio, 1924 Fredericksburg Rd., (210) 589-8450.

Comedy

Braindead Comedy: Roast of Alex “Koolaid” Ansel Local comics Jay Lafarr, Mike Suarez, Blair Thompson, Travis Reyes, George Anthony and Rafael Molina team up to roast super-sized funnyman Alex “Koolaid” Ansel. Free, 9:30pm Tuesday; Zombies, 4202 Thousand Oaks Dr., (210) 281-8306.

Talks Plus

San Antonio Mayoral Candidate Forum: “Clean Air, Clean Water, Healthy City” Co-hosted by the Environmental Defense Fund, Sierra Club Alamo Group and others, this forum will give mayoral runoff candidates Ivy Taylor and Leticia Van de Putte an opportunity to address clean air and clean water issues facing the city of San Antonio. Free, 7:30-9:30pm Wednesday; Tripoint, 3233 N St. Marys St., (210) 246-9622.

“Sweet Service: A Guided Tour of Cunnilingus” If you want to receive,

you should first learn to give. Sexology

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ARTS

PUTTING THE GRAPHIC IN GRAPHIC NOVEL Sexican Collaborators Do A Full Frontal On Life In The Alamo City BRYAN RINDFUSS/@BRYANRINDFUSS

Late last year, someone dubbed “Sexican” started following me on Instagram and liking my pictures. Populated by Photoshopped images of a topless Latina in cinematic situations (swimming with the Creature from the Black Lagoon, riding a dragon, seducing Mr. Spock aboard the Starship Enterprise), the unsurprisingly popular account (which boasts more than 20,000 followers) is the handiwork of Will Templin, a graphic artist and designer whose clients have included both the Democratic National Convention and Cornyation.

Templin’s Sexican project picked up a different kind of steam when he met local artist Albert Alvarez through a mutual friend who noticed they were both “working on R-rated material” and suggested they join forces. After collaborating for four months, the duo published Sexican — a graphic novel filled with “232 pages of sensational stories of valor, stupidity and nudity.” At times more X-rated than R-rated, the book opens with a photograph of a “smoking vagina” that Templin describes as “a modern interpretation of surrealist René Magritte — a shocking visual device that can act as a warning or an invitation, depending upon who the reader is.” What follows is divided into 11 chapters inspired by both Templin’s personal experiences and themes found in Alvarez’s often haunting ink drawings. Announced by some of the

chapter titles alone (Drugs, Why Sodomy Is Illegal, Hitler, etc.) Sexican is not for the easily offended. Bringing to mind a hybrid of an underground comic book and a filthy bathroom stall, Sexican’s sick sense of humor rears its ugly head in Texcentric jabs like “Hitler’s the newest Austin food truck experience” and “Dallas is where the Devil gets anal.”

So the words throughout the book, is that mainly Will?

WT: Yeah.

None of it’s Albert’s?

AA: A lot of it’s just my art. I handed my drawings over to Will ... My art lends itself to statements.

Is there anything you don’t agree with?

The “Fresh Ebola BBQ Sauce” comic seems to drive home the point that nothing is sacred in this book.

AA: Yeah.

AA: Oh, Jesus. A lot of tearing up Austin and Dallas and stuff like that.

So, you really do dislike Dallas and Austin?

WT: Part of it is that there’s a general animosity towards Austin from San Antonio, but it’s not very creative … So I was like, “Let’s up the ante.” If you’re really going to make fun of Austin, let’s at least do it in a way which is creatively mean.

Has anyone been really pissed off by what you all have published?

AA: For me, what got me into it was just the way I do my art. It just feels like a barrage of constant pressure to stay alive and do something miraculous ... It just feels like life is a battle [or] a metaphor for battle.

Do you watch a lot of news?

WT: It’s been weird. The reaction’s been more positive from women than from men. We’ve sold more books to women.

AA: I like paying attention to the local crimes that are happening ... I’m more worried about my own surroundings than something that’s happening in another place in the world.

War … I clearly see a lot of that coming from your drawings, Albert.

What’s your fascination with war and combat?

What about the typos? Do you need a copy editor?

CONTINUED ON PAGE 27 ►

F E BR UA RY 18 | M AY 17, 2015

mcnayart.org sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 25

FREE LUNCH & LEARN Friday, May 29, 12 p.m. at the Pearl Studio Think Science: Robotics Join Texas Public Radio for an overview of recent trends in the robotics industry and to learn more about the impact of robotics programs on San Antonio kids.

The first 80 people to register will receive a complimentary box lunch provided

by Spice of Life Catering.

PHOTO CREDIT: DAN RUSCOE

PANELISTS: Patrick Felty

FIRST Alamo Regional coordinator

Clay Flannigan

Manager of Robotics and Automation Engineering at Southwest Research Institute.

26 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

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◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 25 (SEXICAN)

HERITAGE BLUES ORCHESTRA

r

WT: I do need a copy editor ... Most of the people I know who ... are good writers think that what I’m working on is creatively insane.

WT: You did say that. It was at like one in the morning.

Do you know anyone other than the two of you who has read the entire thing?

WT: It’s San Antonio. That’s the only way I can describe it. I was basically just trying to show ... through a creative way ... San Antonio — all of it. It’s got The Alamo, the part of town that everybody wants to go to and the best artist from that side of the town.

WT: It’s sort of designed for using the restroom — one chapter at a time.

So you want people to keep it in their bathrooms.

WT: It’s a dirty book. It’s not like there’s an overarching narrative of redemption. I just wanted to interject some things so people can go through and see how brilliant Albert’s work is.

Literally every inch is just covered in detail. And it’s things you’ve never seen before. Which to me, that’s what art should be.

How would you describe this book to someone who has not seen it?

AA: Kind of like a graphic novel-looking thing. You know, it’s got art surrounded by graphics and attention-grabbing topics. Reader beware. Will said a lot of that stuff. There’s like one quote of me in there and I don’t even think I said that.

What is it?

AA: “I like to paint steer, oxen and the occasional nude. To me, art is about the objectification of beauty.” Something like that.

How about you (Will)?

How would you respond to someone who interprets parts of the Sexican project as misogynist or objectifying women?

AA: If people want to come off labeling my pictures and me personally as a misogynist or what have you, they’re having a shortsighted interpretation of my pictures ... Sexican is an explosion with collateral damage, friendly fire. It’s not a sentimental homage to Rembrandt, it’s year 2015 X-rated entertainment.

WT: Most of the stories are cautionary tales of how men somehow think they are superior to women, but in the end this false belief gets the best of each protagonist, and turns them into a punch line. When I started this project with Albert, the last thing I wanted to do was glamorize doing drugs and prostitutes. However, those elements are in the book, because it is part of living on the South Side ...

Sexican is an attempt to define where the modern line of decency exists in San Antonio in 2015.

Sat., May 23 • 8 p.m.

Tickets on sale now $35 Jo Long Theatre

Ticketmaster:

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Carver Box Office:

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sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 27

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SCREENS

MINDLESS THRILL RIDE

Mad Max Reboot Works As All Action, No Plot DAN HUDAK

So this is what a two-hour action scene looks like.

Mad Max: Fury Road is 120 minutes of noise, action and more noise. It’s an unrelenting assault on the eyes and ears that almost feels invasive, as if director George Miller wants us to experience every bone-crushing moment rather than simply watch it. Boy, is this a helluva ride.

There is no story. We’re talking absolute zero in terms of plot. We have people on the run and people trying to catch them. That’s it. The entire movie is one long chase, with small breaks to map out strategy before the next fight starts. It’s episodic and feels like a video game: After one level/fight is complete you move on to the next, more challenging fight. Coincidentally, video game play and Mad Max have the same core objective: survival.

Consider that word for a moment, survival. It is the most primal of human instincts and is a fitting description here. The barbaric savages who inhabit the postapocalyptic hellhole in which the movie is set will stop at nothing to kill one another and claim the few precious valuables (water and ammunition) left on the planet.

Our morality aligns more with former cop Max (Tom Hardy) and renegade Furiosa (Charlize Theron) because they’re escorting a group of innocent girls (three of whom are played by Rosie Huntington-Whitely, Zoë Kravitz and Riley Keough) away from villain Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne), who looks like the Predator if Predator made his own outfit. Joe has convinced his followers, called “War Boys,” that he’s returned from the dead, so they’re willing to die for him because they believe they will live again, too. One character caught between the two sides is Nux (Nicholas Hoult), who’s a weakling but still resourceful.

Miller, who made the original Mad Max trilogy (197985) and is also credited as a co-writer (with Brendan McCarthy and Nick Lathouris) here, storyboarded the entire film before he had a screenplay, so he knew all along the emphasis would be on visuals rather than narrative. As a result, the action scenes are elaborate and spectacular, particularly one in a sandstorm and numerous ventures through a canyon. Best of all, the choreography and execution of the sequences is clear and suspenseful — they are not over-edited to the point of incongruity. Miller allegedly tried to rely as much as possible on practical (i.e. on-set) effects and stunt work rather rely on special effects; you can’t say it looks authentic, but you can say it doesn’t look overly fake and/

Once in a while it’s worth it to go the movies and not have to think much. If you’re craving such a flick, look no further than Mad Max.

or animated (like Transformers), which is a compliment.

The setting is a barren future, so it’s almost surreal how the desert is oversaturated to the point that it’s nearly orange. At night, it doesn’t get dark but rather steely blue, which reflects the cold and unforgiving world in which the characters live. The costumes (by Jenny Beavan) and makeup (by Nadine Prigge) are outlandish and gaudy, extreme for the sake of shock value rather than practicality.

In fact, nothing about Mad Max needs to be as overthe-top as it is, yet because it is we appreciate its energy and effort that much more. For example, Immortan Joe’s convoy includes a truck with three elevated levels of drummers in the back and an electric guitar-playing “War Boy” hanging from wires in the front. Truly, much of Mad Max has to be seen to be believed.

As for the lack of story, let it go. It feels like there’s plenty of backstory for all the main characters that Miller either forgot or neglected to tell us, perhaps because he wanted to focus exclusively on the action. Given that Hardy is signed for three Mad Max films after this, more will presumably be revealed in future installments.

As for now, embrace Mad Max for all the well-staged fighting and chaos that it’s worth, because most of it is pretty exciting. And just when you think it’s over,

just when you think the last hyper-violent explosion/ impalement/stabbing/shooting has crossed your eyes, you will not be able to take your eyes off the screen.

The darn musical score, by Junkie XL, so repetitive throughout, keeps playing in your head like an incessant earworm that you can’t turn off no matter how hard you try. Some will consider that a good thing. Others will find it annoying, even haunting. Regardless, having a thrill ride like Mad Max stay with you well after the credits roll is a sign Miller did something right.

Did you know?

It took eight months to shoot the film in Namibia and in various locations in Australia. By the end of principal photography, more than 480 hours of film were shot, which roughly equates to three consecutive weeks worth of footage. Cutting 480 hours down to two couldn’t have been easy.

Mad Max: Fury Road (R) Dir. George Miller; writ. George Miller, Brendan McCarthy, Nick Lathouris; feat. Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Rosie Huntington-Whitely, Zoë Kravitz, Riley Keough Opens May 15 at Santikos Theatres

HHH

sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 29

SCREENS

A TALE OF THREE SUITORS Carey Mulligan Plays The Field In New Adaptation Of Far From The Madding Crowd MARYANN JOHANSON

The novel it’s based on is a century and a half old and it opens with a mad-sheepdog accident, of all crazy rural old-fashioned things. But this new cinematic adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s Far from the Madding Crowd is more modern, more progressive and even just plain more grownup than half the movies thrown at us in our stodgy convention-bound movie landscape.

Yet it’s not always modern in positive ways. The challenges faced by its female protagonist as she navigates a man’s professional realm and the assholery she encounters as she ponders a woman’s romantic options are barely distinguishable from what women are still putting up with today.

I haven’t read Hardy’s book since high school and I remember so little of it that the plot twists here came as surprises, so it’s possible that screenwriter David Nicholls (Great Expectations, One Day) and director Thomas Vinterberg (The Hunt) have fudged some details a little to make their film more relevant to today’s audiences. If so, that’s okay. It’s great, in fact. The bones of the story remain the same and even before this movie appeared, Bathsheba Everdene was smart, brave and independent enough to inspire Suzanne Collins to name her Hunger Games protagonist (played by Jennifer Lawrence) after her.

Here, Bathsheba is a marvelous free spirit with verve, passion and steely courage embodied by Carey Mulligan 30 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

Top-notch acting and serious-issue exploration without an agenda: Far From The Madding Crowd gives romance just-right treatment.

(Inside Llewyn Davis, The Great Gatsby).

She races her horse across the moors of Wessex — Hardy’s fictionalization of the rural English county of Dorset — riding in a most unladylike yet most practical manner. She wears a cool leather jacket and intends to “astonish” workers at her uncle’s farming estate, which she has just inherited and will manage as if she were a man, even though it is the female-unfriendly Victorian 1870s. She’s positively dripping in handsome suitors: Gabriel Oak (Matthias Schoenaerts: A Little Chaos, Suite Française), a shepherd on her farm; William Boldwood (Michael Sheen: Kill the Messenger, Admission), the wealthy landowner next door; and Sergeant Francis Troy (Tom Sturridge: On the Road, Pirate Radio), whose rakish mustache, red uniform and swordplay skills would make Lydia Bennet swoon.

Although Bathsheba says things like “I’m too independent” when turning down proposals of marriage and that she wants a husband who will “tame” her, it’s pretty

clear that she doesn’t really want any husband at all. Well, at least not one in the Victorian understanding of what a woman could expect from a marriage: to be subjugated by her husband, to be required to defer to him on all things.

She wants an equal partner in her life and her business. She cannot be wooed by gifts — you cannot buy or bribe a woman with her own money and resources — and perhaps she can afford to be silly in her choice and choose the man she wants rather than the one who would make the most advantageous match. She can make her decision out of desire and not out of pragmatic need.

Bathsheba isn’t perfect, which is what makes her so intriguing. She makes some stupid mistakes — some out of stubborn pride, some of out of boneheaded thoughtlessness — but everything she does or doesn’t do is a factor of her work (running the estate), work she loves, being her life: Any romantic entanglements will necessarily

impact that and have to become part of it, which is awesome. Womens’ lives are complicated! This is more than most movies today are interested in dealing with or even acknowledging.

But this isn’t a messagey film: It’s a ridiculously romantic one in all the best ways, from the gorgeous landscapes to the sweeping emotions to the soap operaish melodrama. It’s fun and it’s sexy in a way that most movies nowadays can’t be bothered with. The only physical intimacy here is a super-sexy kiss at the end, when Bathsheba finally ends up with the right guy and it’s hotter than anything I’ve seen onscreen in ages. Sexy here isn’t naked bodies, but bared hearts.

Far from the Madding Crowd (PG-13) Dir. Thomas Vinterberg; writ. David Nicholls (based on a book by Thomas Hardy); feat.

Carey Mulligan, Matthias Schoenaerts, Michael Sheen, Tom Sturridge Opens May 15 at Santikos Bijou

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Food Truck To BrickAnd-Mortar Transition Rough For Big Guido’s JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS

It’s the classic culinary tale of making it — opening your own restaurant. For food truck owners who slave away on hot mobile kitchens, often acting as mechanic, chef, server and custodian, finally owning a brick-andmortar joint might mean not having to deal with driving around a clumsy 18-foot truck in rush hour.

Or at least make them happy to say they’ve got a place to call home.

Such is the case for Big Guido’s, which made the transition from food truck to restaurant in March at a small shopping center at the intersection of Vance Jackson and Jackson Keller. It’s wildly accessible off Loop 410, which was a draw considering the truck used to park at The Point Park & Eats, a worthy drive up I-10, but still a haul.

The eatery is small and if you need any help finding it, you can usually spot the Big Guido’s truck in the parking lot.

Once inside, you’ll find a small dining room split into booths, tall tables and simple four tops. Décor sticks with the now-signature giant mustache above the counter (painted red and filled with New York Italian slang like on the truck). Black and red fill the space, along with a black wooden cut-out of the Big Apple skyline.

Get it? It’s NYC, dammit.

While I had previously happily noshed on one of their burger creations from the food truck, I can’t say my experiences at

JESSICA ELIZARRARAS

HIT-OR-MISS

the restaurant fared as well.

For starters, there’s the matter of signage. Should I seat myself or wait for a hostess? Even after owner Stephen Acerra instructed us to sit, the confusion as to what exactly was going on here kept setting in. And unfortunately our server was equally as lost (for example, he didn’t have a clue whether iced tea was being served that day or not). It probably didn’t help that there were seven people sitting at the counter and four people in the dining area. Even if this was just a hiccup, our sandwiches made up for it. My friend’s meatball was a hit, while my Goodfella — chicken parmesan, marinara and mozzarella cheese — was hefty. The unifying element both sandos shared was the use of really great bread that was able to soak up the tomato sauce and not fall apart.

As far as sides go, my pasta salad could have used a bit more oomph (maybe a dash of pecorino?) but my pal’s hand-cut fries were on point — long, thin spears, sprinkled with a sweet and salty mix. Each fry was crisp and evenly seasoned.

My second lunchtime visit, this time with a co-worker, had more of the same. They still didn’t have tea (again, no reason was given), but this time we waited an unusually long time for our pair of sammies. I went with the meatball to see what my friend had raved about and, admittedly, I was pleasantly surprised.

The meat is tender and flavorful. The sauce, with a good hint of oregano, is pleasant but it won’t blow your socks off. My lunch partner’s Godfather had nice touches — great bread, grilled cured meats — but the use of vinegar was far too heavy-handed. At the risk of sounding crass, I want to actually taste the meats, in this case ham, salami, pepperoni and prosciutto. Paying for our order also turned into a bit of a cluster.

Tickets come to the table on what is

Big Guido’s got some challenges to overcome, but its sandwiches are worth a visit.

basically loose-leaf scrap paper and the entire iPad stand register comes to you.

Acceptable when it’s a food truck, not so much when there are linens on at least some of the tables.

I returned an evening later for dinner with my beau, and that’s when things really went south (sunny Sicily, this was not). We ordered fried ravioli to start and were presented with cold, plastic ravioli and their house red sauce. They were far from fried and far from crusted with tasty panko or breadcrumbs. At my server’s suggestion, I ordered the chicken parmesan plate, a favorite. Plus, I figured, how can anyone mess up this basic dish?

The parmesan sandwich from my first visit was breaded and grilled, but the plate’s fate was less enticing — by a mile.

My first bite hinted at a strange fabricated, flowery addition that I couldn’t quite peg.

The pasta, tossed in simple spaghetti with the house sauce, was al dente and just fine, so I turned my attention back to the entrée. Once again, the flowery

and even soapy taste not only lingered but soured the bite as a whole. Whether it was detergent or disinfectant left over from cleaning the kitchen or in one of the bowls the chicken was dredged in, the fowl soaked up every bit of it and destroyed any semblance of a good time.

I made my dining partner try it, and my suspicions were confirmed. To be fair, his chicken Alfredo with house-made sauce was well-seasoned and creamy without spilling into oily territory.

We danced the same befuddling confusion over payment, except I prevented our server from lugging the register to our table by paying at the counter. Though having the means and opportunity to open a restaurant might be readily available for some, rigorous attention to detail and a thought-out plan is definitely needed for the eatery to survive. Big Guido’s has decent sandos, but you’re in for a puzzling time once you’re there. Don’t know about you, but that’s not how I like to enjoy my meals.

Big Guido’s 2607 Jackson Keller, (210) 979-6111, facebook.com/bigguidos Skinny Going from food truck to restaurant has been a bit bumpy for Big Guido’s NY Italian. Go for the homemade Italian sandwiches. Best Bet No, really stick with the sandwiches. Goodfella, meatball Hours 11am-8pm Mon-Thu, 11am-10pm Fri, 10am-10pm Sat, closed on Sunday Price $7-$14.99

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34 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 35

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Hidden in the back corner of a drink for less than $10. During my City View Village off Huebner visit with co-workers, we enjoyed the Road and I-10, you’ll find well-shaded, shared patio space for Fattboy Burgers and Dogs’ second City View Village restaurant patrons. location, a counterpart to the original off The deck is great if you’re going to Vance Jackson. If you can find a parking lunch with a group that can’t come to space, you’ll find a fully customizable a consensus on what to eat. Papouli’s burger menu. I went with a Texas toast Greek Grill, Fattboys Burger and Dogs, Fattboy (a half pound burger) lunch Freebirds Burritos and Jimmy John’s special, with jalapeños and the standard Sandwich patrons all have access to fixings of lettuce, tomato, grilled onion, the shared outdoor space, so everyone pickles and mustard. The Texas toast can get food from their favorite place didn’t quite meet my “toasted” standard and enjoy it outside together. … but good nonetheless.

If you still have room for dessert, Other options include sesame Fattboy has got you covered. Believe it seed or wheat buns, bacon, cheeses, or not, there are bottomless toppings dressings, BBQ sauce, dill relish, for their ice cream cups, cones, grilled mushrooms or bell peppers. In banana splits, sundaes and floats. addition to varying sizes of 100 percent Toppings range from Fruity Pebbles, ground beef burgers, they offer chicken marshmallows, Snickers, fudge, breast and turkey burgers, hot dogs (a pineapple and Nilla Wafers. quarter-pound kosher Hebrew National) Just next door is one of Big Hops and salad. Fattboy’s sides include fries, Growler Station’s locations, which fried pickles, (don’t worry, they are begs the question: why not enjoy a chip-style, not spears), fried burger and craft brew mushrooms and onion rings. on the patio? Big Hops A lunch special combo doesn’t open until 3 p.m.

Fattboy Burgers & Dogs 11224 Huebner Road, Suite 206 gets you either the Fattboy Monday through Thursday, (210) 691-3288 (half-pound) or the Slimboy so keep that savory combo 11am-10pm Mon- Sat (quarter-pound), fries and in mind for dinner.

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ICY CONFECTIONS by the CHILI QUEENS 38 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

FOOD

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in-house roasting • Espresso bar • Slow Bar • Fresh-Pressed Juices Make room for another location of local vegan fave, Vegeria.

FLAVOR FILE

Vegeria Expands, Opening For Asado Seafood & Grill And More JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS

Vegetarians, vegans and lovers of all things fiber can get their chompers ready for the opening of Vegeria Vegan Tex - Mex & American Cuisine’s second location. The eatery, opened in mid-2011 by chef-owner Fred-Anthony Garza, has built a following as the one of the few local restaurants that’s completely vegan. The new spot at 1422 Nogalitos will be “much bigger, with better signage, and beautiful outdoor seating,” according to Vegeria’s Facebook page. The original location, at 8407 Broadway, Suite 1, will funnel personnel to the new location once its opens in the next few months.

in May Every Day 2-for-1 iced drinks after 3p.m.

15502 Huebner Rd•210.492.9544 • 8434 Fredericksburg Rd • facebook.com/mildfire

DINE-IN, PICK-UP, DELIVERY & CATERING

Asado Seafood & Grill and Asado Lounge inside the Hilton San Antonio Airport (611 NW Loop 410, 210-377-4653) celebrated its grand opening on Friday. The eatery and bar are part of a $12 million hotel renovation. The menu for Asado Seafood & Grill features contemporary cuisine that dabbles in both Latin and Mediterranean flavors, with signature dishes such as grilled salmon, cilantro shrimp marinated in tequila and Asado steaks. The Asado Lounge, on the other hand, features a more relaxed menu of small, tapas-style plates and an updated signature cocktail menu.

Lunch Specials starting at $6.50 HAPPY HOUR 3-6 $2 off Appetizers, Spirits, and Cocktails $1 off Beer and Wine

Whiskey fans (and really, who isn’t?) can enjoy World Whiskey Day on Saturday with a visit to Rebecca Creek Distillery (26605 Bulverde Road, 830-714-4581).

Free tours of the distillery will run 4 to 7 p.m. Friday and noon to 5 p.m. Saturday, starting at every hour on the hour.

Chef Johnny Hernandez (El Machito, La Fruteria, La Gloria and countless iterations thereof within Texan airports and Las Vegas) will be the keynote speaker at this year’s United States Personal Chef Association Conference, which will take place in San Antonio, July 23-26 at the Hyatt Regency. Another San Anto chef will be in attendance, as well. Chef Luciano Valadez of Taps y Tapas will lead a knowledge and product demo at the conference. For more information, check out uspca.com.

Winners of this year’s fifth annual Twisted Taco Truck Throwdown (judged in part by yours truly) include Truck n’ Taco’s bright red al pastor for People’s Choice and Teka Molino traditional take for Grand Champion. The first-ever Freestyle winner went to The Grilled Jalapeño for its bacon-wrapped, three-cheese-stuffed jalapeños in a tortilla. That’s hopefully the last time I judge 36 tacos over the course of three hours ... flavor@sacurrent.com

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Facebook: TheLostBarAndGrill • 12730 NW Military Hwy 78231 • (210) 437-4873 • Hours: 2pm-2am 40 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

Sun: 11 am - 2 am | Mon-Sat: 7 am - 2 am | 5562 Fredericksburg Rd. In the Medical Center

FOOD

CULINARY CALENDAR

6 Ways To Get Your Drink/Grub On This Week Wednesday, May 13: Join Sustenio at Eilan Hotel & Spa in supporting Lung Force Week for the American Lung Association. The hotel will offer a signature Blue Bay Martini, with Ketel One, Cointreau, Blue Curaçao and Domain De Canton, as it honors staff and family members who have succumbed or survived the disease. $6 through Friday, May 15, 18603 La Cantera Terrace, (210) 598-2950.

Saturday, May 16: The Point Park & Eats hosts a craft beer tap takeover and crawfish boil featuring all local brews and Where Y’at Food Truck. Not feeling the mudbugs? Slider Provider, Pork U, The Melting Point, Sweet Christi’s BBQ, Vietnamese Cuisine, Gilbos Grill and Sno Daddy will all present to satiate the masses. Free admission, noon, 24188 Boerne Stage Road, (210) 251-3380, parkatthepoint.com.

Saturday, May 16: If you want to join the crawfish party, but don’t want to drive all the way out past 1604, Taste This Culinary & Craft Brewery Tours will drive you to and from the event. Cost includes transportation from Taps y Tapas to the Point Park & Eats, an Alamo Brewery pint at Taps y Tapas, a commemorative pint glass, two local craft beers of choice at The Point and one pound of crawfish with fixings from Where Y’at. $50, 11:15-4:30pm, (210) 538-4888, tastethissanantonio.com.

Sunday, May 17: Join the San Antonio Running Company, Revolucion Coffee + Juice and Katie’s Jar for a Sunday Stroll through Southtown. Treat your furry pooch to samples of Andrea Thompson’s natural dog snacks, and sample juice and coffee from Revolucion. Free stroll and samples, 10 am, 711 S. St. Mary’s St., (210) 2462253, facebook.com/SARunningCo.

Breakfast, Brunch, French & Seafood

LUNCH: 11AM-3PM | DINNER: 7-11PM

KRYSTAL CLARK

Thursday, May 14: Culinaria’s Festival Week kicked off with a series of dinners and continues with four events showcasing San Anto’s dining scene at all levels.

Take the kids to The Food Truck Event on Thursday; get your fill of comida mexicana with Best of Mexico on Friday, May 15; make it date night at the Grand Tasting on Saturday, May 16; or keep it extra casual at Burgers & Beer. This year’s festival week includes a new Load up on tacos and much more at Best of Mexico.

Tequila Happy Hour at the Residences at La Cantera; a cocktail-foodwine tasting room; after-parties and a tequila dinner at Casa Hernán. Prices vary, May 14-17, find ticket prices and location details at culinariasa.org.

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Monday, May 18: Central Market beer and wine experts host Roses For Summer, a demonstration on choosing this chilly, pink wine, techniques used to make the varietal and learn where the grapes are grown. The course will feature six samples. $25, 4:30 pm, 4821 Broadway, (210) 368-8600, centralmarket.com.

Send food- and booze-related events to flavor@sacurrent.com.

“We make sexy BBQ and amazing DRINKS.”- Chef Brian West sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 41

42 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

NIGHTLIFE

Former Top Barkeep Apprentice Now Runs The Show At North Side Spot JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS

We can’t call it a cocktail takeover of the North Side if there are really only a handful of craft bars littering the landscape. Still, there is an untapped market of bargoers who might be in the mood for ditching the skeazy nightclubs or the hordes of sports joints (and since the Spurs are out of the playoffs, our collective city calendar is now wide open) in favor of spots that offer a solid lineup of cocktails.

Enter Hidden Dragon.

The bar, opened by Adrian Martinez along with the same business partner who helped him manage China Garden, is the second of two projects to open from this team. To take cocktail knowledge to Loopland, they enlisted the help of bartender Matt Dulaney.

Spirit aficionados might recognize the young bartender from Esquire Tavern, Bohanan’s Bar and most recently, Blue Box. At 27, the native Texan has moved around more than two dozen times and didn’t dive into the service industry until five years ago as a server at New Braunfel’s McAdoo’s, which lasted a few months. Dulaney moved to San Antonio and landed a job at Boudro’s on the River Walk.

“I have no idea how I got hired there, but it was probably one the of the best things that happened to me,” he said. His time on the river helped him land the job that got him hooked on cocktails at Esquire Tavern.

The bar opened in April 2012, just shy of Fiesta, but even with all the madness, it’s

CRYSTAL POENISCH

FINDING ZEN AT HIDDEN DRAGON

where Dulaney gained his love of cocktails.

But like a good martini that needs more than four-dozen stirs in excellent ice, Dulaney had to wait his turn at the well for six months before then-bar manager Jeret Peña decided to train him.

“Jeret had me on service well almost every weekend for several months and he’d stand in front of me and point out everything I was doing wrong. At the time I hated it, it was a horrible, terrible experience,” Dulaney said. “Now looking back I realize how incredibly thankful I was for him having an intense watchful eye.”

Dulaney’s training later included a year at Bohanan’s, initially under the watchful eye of Sasha Petraske of New York’s Milk & Honey, who trains all ‘tenders at the steakhouse’s bar.

“That was incredibly intensive. Sasha was different because he’s very scientific in his approach, very calculated. We were measuring things down to the milliliter, before and after shaking,” Dulaney said.

He left Bohanan’s for the more casual vibe at Blue Box, where he learned his speed.

With strong fundamentals, precision and speed, the shaggy-haired dude is trying his hand at both training new-tococktails personnel and helping introduce classic cocktails to the area with Hidden Dragon, which takes over a slice of real estate formerly used by Ming Tree.

“It had an ’80s, Kung-Fu-film kind of vibe, which I loved,” Dulaney said. In its place is a dimly lit bar filled with posh white leather booths and stools and an assortment of Asian touches throughout the bar.

Dulaney’s pride and joy is a wall of classic martial arts film posters emblazoned with the bar’s dragon logo. The space is neat and minimalist and currently laid-back enough to enjoy a few cocktails.

If you’re to dip your toe into the cocktail world at Hidden Dragon, the menu definitely is worth your while, with 12 cocktails to choose from, each spelling out ingredients. During our Cinco De Mayo visit, my bar-going partners enjoyed a Tequila Crusta, a twist on the classic marg with a sugar rim. I opted for the White Lion, “a fresh summer drink that came straight out of the Caribbean” with rum, lemon, sugar, raspberry syrup and dry Curaçao. The rest of the menu includes small variations of the classic Manhattan, Moscow Mules and El Diablo — all simple enough to sway novice cocktail drinkers.

The prices don’t hurt, either. Cocktails will set you back between $6 and $9.

If booze ain’t your jam, Hidden Dragon

Matt Dulaney is making cocktails accessible for the Loopland set.

same level, five minutes from your house, I offers a small selection of craft beer in think we can make this viable.” bottles and cans with prices ranging from Though Dulaney admits that at first $3 for a Lone Star to $9 for a Hitachino he wasn’t ready for what running a bar Nest Nipponia bomber and a teensy (for from start to finish meant — he’s working now, I’m assuming) wine menu with prices 16-hour days and had his first day off going up to $11 for a glass of moscato. two Sundays ago — he’s using this crash Though the bar opened the same course to help train his current and future week as sister restaurant Smoke, where employees. He stressed the Japanese Dulaney’s bar menu delivers original apprenticeship style of learning, which cocktails with fun elements such as actual he’s using on his crew. They’re learning cotton candy and charred planks of wood what a liquid meniscus is, for example. to add that hint of humo, Hidden Dragon is “I didn’t want them to focus on making using Smoke’s attention to its advantage. crazy ingredients, but rather their “There’s been a lot of good reception technique and form and the spirit. I wanted from the two places. There were a lot of to tone it down,” Dulaney said. people I would see pretty regularly that So the Asian-inspired flavors will have would come to Blue Box, or Bohanan’s to wait for now, but if you’re and they live out here, Hollywood really hankering for a well-made Park, Shavano Park, Churchill Hidden Dragon Manhattan outside Loop 410, Estates, Stone Oak, even,” 14355 Blanco Road Hidden Dragon is calling you.

Dulaney said. “If we can bring that (210) 444-9495 flavor@sacurrent.com kind of cocktail experience, the 4pm-2am daily sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 43

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NIGHTLIFE

KEEPING TABS

Throwback Rosés

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RON BECHTOL

It was a while back, I admit, but there was a time when a couple of pink wines were considered the height of sophistication — among a largely unsophisticated crowd, but hey. If you wanted, say, to impress a date, you ordered Lancers or Mateus. For the life of us, we couldn’t have told you the grapes that the wines were made from (and still can’t) — or even that they came from Portugal. But we did know that they were an almost embarrassing shade of pink, that they were lightly sweet and slightly spritzy, and that they were fun to drink. In the case of Mateus, there was also that distinctive, flask-shaped bottle. Oh, and that they were cheap.

Guess what: they’re still cheap (the price has gone up to a princely $5.99), if no longer exactly sophisticated. But in a fit of Pet-Rock-era nostalgia, Keeping Tabs decided to retaste Lancers and Mateus (once the world’s most popular wine by volume) in the company of a couple of French rosés (also relatively cheap) with presumably classier pedigrees. Jessica, our intrepid editor was reeled into taking this way-back trip with me.

So what was our verdict?

The packaging of the Lancers has changed from its halcyon days; the bottle is no longer ceramic, for starters.

And I’m willing to bet that the formulation has morphed, too. Yes, there’s still a light tingle but it dissipates so quickly that it’s hardly more than a memory. I got a whiff of strawberry, Jessica detected peach, but we were both grasping at straws. The real takeaway is that the wine is fresh, vaguely fruity, decently brisk — not much more.

The Mateus suggested more concentrated fruit — though neither of us could say exactly which. (Forced to pick, raspberry.) It initially seemed a little more full-bodied. But it also needed to be imbibed immediately. Any lingering in the glass led to a kind of flattening out.

And yet: $6. Both wines drink like more, despite low alcohol content, making them perfect for pounding alongside a plastic kiddie pool in the backyard.

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experience, look up Jimi Hendrix slugging Mateus.

Both French wines, sourced from Vintages 2.0, deserve at least a shady front porch. The screw-capped 2014 Château de Campuget Costières de Nîmes ($10.99), a blend of 70 percent syrah and 30 percent grenache, is a seductive silvery pink color.

It starts with aromas of Provençal herbs and berries and finishes with cranberry/rhubarb flavors that turn to currant. Domaine de la Sanglière’s 2014 Cuvée Speciale Côtes de Provence ($12.99) is cinsaut with grenache, comes across less herby (but works well with marinated olives) and hints at wild strawberries. This one actually gets more interesting with a little warming up and both are worth the extra coin for their increased nuance and complexity.

But even the French would likely call these vins de soif, or wines for quenching thirst, though perhaps not straight from the bottle. Jimi Hendrix might have approved, though. sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 45

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V I S I T H A P P Y H O U R S . S A C U R R E N T. C O M sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 47

MUSIC

SAN ANTO SOUL

LA HIJA DEL PUEBLO

In Its 34th Year, The Tejano Conjunto Festival Has Its Finger On The Pulse MATT STIEB/@MATTHEWSTIEB

Linda Escobar Has Been Belting Tejano Tunes For 50 Years

San Anto cred pop quiz! Name the city’s greatest non-NBA export.

If your answer was anything other than tejano or conjunto, you’re wrong.

Since the waning days of the 19th century, the Alamo City has been at the forefront of this Tex-Mex genre. And since 1981, the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center’s Tejano Conjunto Festival has been a great champion of this cultural exchange, throwing a wickedly fun festival honoring the squeezebox feel.

‘We’ve always been one of the important musical centers for the Mexican-American people,” said Juan Tejada, director of the festival. “And conjunto music is an American original ensemble and style of music akin to jazz or country or cajun or zydeco. An original American musical artform that we as tejanos created here as part of the border culture, the synthesis of people and cultures coming together.”

In its 34th year (and the first under brandnew Guadalupe executive director Jerry Ruiz), the Tejano Conjunto Festival is an expert curation of the artform, focusing on important movements within the music. Friday night tips

off the bulk of the festival, with the Hijos de la Leyendas theme featuring the sons of the legends. Artists including Los D Boys (sons of accordion stylist Tony De La Rosa) and Río Jordán (son of eye-patched legend Esteban “Steve” Jordán) will explore and interpret songs of their fathers.

On Saturday, it’s Hecho en Texas theme, with artists from all over the state taking the stage. Notables include Edinburg’s Los Dos Gilbertos, Edcouch’s Rubén De la Cruz and Dallas’ Los Morales Boys.

Sunday honors women in conjunto, with an all-female lineup dedicated to women not named named Selena holding it down. Even a solid fan of the music might only be familiar with San Anto legend Eva Ybarra (4:30pm), so it’s nice to see Grupo Imagen and Tejano Rose get some shine on center stage.

Sunday night marks a citywide sigh of relief and joy — the return of the legend of legends, Flaco Jiménez. After winning a lifetime Grammy in February and breaking his hip two days before his 76th birthday in March, the accordionist is off the DL and ready to do his thing again. We can’t wait. mstieb@sacurrent.com

Get Your Tejano Conjunto Fix Right Here!

Wednesday, May 13 Guadalupe Theatre (723 S. Brazos) 10am-noon Free Seniors Conjunto Dance Thursday, May 14 Guadalupe Theatre 7pm-9pm Free screening of This Ain’t No Mouse Music! followed by a Q&A with Arhoolie founder Chris Strachwitz, Flaco Jiménez, Santiago Jiménez Jr. and producer/directors Maureen Gosling and Chris Simon.

Friday, May 15 Rosedale Park (340 Dartmouth) 5:30pm-midnight $15 entry for the Hijos de la Leyendas (Sons of the Legends) concert, featuring Los D Boys, Río Jordán, Juanito Castillo, Ricky Naranjo and more.

48 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

Saturday, May 16 Rosedale Park 11:30am-midnight $15 entry for the Hecho en Tejas day, featuring Kinto Ray, Lázaro Pérez, Boni Mauricio y Los Máximos, Los Dos Gilbertos and more.

Sunday, May 16 Rosedale Park 1:30pm-11pm $12 entry for the Women in Conjunto showcase, featuring Eva Ybarra, Linda Escobar, Tejano Rose and more. Flaco Jiménez will close the festival with a 10pm performance.

Tickets available at guadalupeculturalarts.org or (210) 271-3151.

MATT STIEB/@MATTHEWSTIEB

By virtue of a good head start, Linda Escobar has enjoyed one of the longest and most prolific singing careers in the world of tejano music. In 1965, when she was just 7, Linda turned pro with “Frijolito Pintos,” a major hit recorded with her father, tejano guitarist Eligio Escobar.

“It was a little rhyming song that came to mind to my dad and I at the time,” Escobar told the San Antonio Current last week. “It wasn’t one that we chose to record, but when we were in the studio, we needed a side B and I brought up Frijolitos Pintos. The band said, ‘let’s hear it,’ so I sang it and it just turned out to be a humungous hit.”

In the sweet spot between novelty song and purebred pop, a slinging, rubber band beat drives the rhythm of “Frijolitos Pintos” into dance. Over the glad accordion, Escobar’s voice booms into the microphone with a climbing, enchanting melody. While most kids her age were learning the basics of arithmetic, Escobar had some real-life numbers to mull over, with a record that sold over 250,000 units.

After the big, gold-plated step into the world of tejano, the fatherdaughter team kept the momentum going with an abundant string of recording dates on regional labels like Nopal, Bernal and Cometa.

“From ‘65, to about ‘72, my father made it a point to put out a record every two-three months, even if it was just a 45, to keep new music on the airwaves,” said Escobar. “I want to say, between my dad and I, we have over 500 recordings.”

As an adult, Escobar has built on the extraordinary groundwork laid down in her childhood. With her late husband, Japanese accordionist Kenji “El Gato”

Katsube, Escobar created some of the most culturally loaded conjunto ever recorded.

“Kenji was listening to a Ry Cooder album and he heard an instrument he didn’t know,” Escobar explained. “Well, it was Flaco Jimenez playing an accordion. He decided to mail-order one. When he got it, he taught himself and began playing in LA and picked up a California style on the accordion.”

When the pair met in the ’90s, their marital and musical connection fulfilled a weird prophecy by Escobar’s father.

“I remember one day, my dad told me that one day I was going to meet a Japanese conjunto musician,” Escobar said. “I thought it was hilarious. And he looked at me straight in the eyes and couldn’t have been more serious.”

Through the joys and hardship of 50 years in music, Escobar finds solace in her South Texas hometown of Alice, an otherwise fairly desolate outpost yet a bona fide hotspot of tejano culture.

“Alice is the cradle of the majority of conjunto regional, the birthplace where a lot of people started out,” said Escobar. “They say it’s the birthplace of tejano, but to me it’s the cradle of conjunto. They actually call me the daughter of the city, la ‘hija del pueblo.’” mstieb@sacurrent.com

MUSIC

THIS AIN’T NO MOUSE MUSIC!

CULT OF FLACO JIMÉNEZ

Paying Homage To The Greatest Of All Time

Chris Simon And Maureen Gosling On Arhoolie Records Documentary

D.T. BUFFKIN

MATT STIEB/@MATTHEWSTIEB

Producers/directors Chris Simon (L) and Maureen Gosling.

What does Mouse Music actually mean?

MG: I think Mouse Music is music that’s not heartfelt and authentic. It’s more commercial; it has different intentions. It’s a little more towards trying to make money. Kind of smooth music as opposed to raw, from the gut, from the heart type stuff.

What is the importance of Arhoolie Records to American roots music?

CS: It’s vital. Chris is right up there with the Lomaxes [the famous family of field recorders]. And he’s different in a way. Unlike many of the folklorists and everyone who was out there recording at that time, Chris’ vision was to bring it out to the public. That was always his motivation, not for it to be archived. He was not looking for the oldest version of a song or the most authentic blues guy; he was looking for music that he liked.

So it brought a different repertoire to the world than the folklorists.

What is the importance of Texas to the Arhoolie Label?

CS: Without Texas, there’d probably be no Arhoolie label.

MG: He really started in Houston with Clifton and Lightnin’ and Bongo Joe in San Antonio. San Antonio is just major. All the Texas-Mexican musicians, at some point he

saw them there. He went to the border, both north and south of it. He really filled a gap.

He bought all these little labels that were about to be dumped in the trash by the son of some radio guy who didn’t know what to do with them. He’d rescue them before they got dumped. Even though he says he’s not going to collect anymore, he still does.

It’s interesting because Arhoolie is deeply rooted in the blues and conjunto is outside the blues tradition in a lot of ways.

CS: Conjunto really speaks to Chris in a way the blues doesn’t. Even though he does not speak Spanish. Although Chris would never cop to saying what his favorite genre is, I think it’s very likely that it’s conjunto.

MG: He definitely loves conjunto. I think it’s great, ‘cause he’s really focused on it to.

Here it is, the demographics of the country are changing so much and the Latino community really does need to have more recognition for the culture. And he’s really played a role in that.

Is Chris the last of his kind? It’s hard to imagine field recording in the internet age.

CS: No, he’s not the last. I think it’s going strong. I know many people who are out there recording. It’s different types of music than Chris got, but there’s a lot of people out there doing field recording. mstieb@sacurrent.com

The irony of Flaco Jiménez’s career is that the most successful musicians — at least in terms of popularity and ticket sales — all want to work with him.

Yet, outside of Texas, among ethnographers, musicologists and those with their noses buried in the liner notes of popular music, he remains largely unknown.

Flaco’s standing as an unknown known (borrowing former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s saying) places him at the crux of the American musician’s dilemma: finding yourself to be the most revered musician amongst musicians.

In the United States, this designation generally doesn’t amount to shit. However, I think it’s the most honest, admirable life for a musician to lead. As capitalism distills everything into a product, the arts being no exception, it’s a beautiful line to walk between a humble troubadour paid in liquor and shelter and feudal-lord-serving lawsuits to pre-teens pirating your latest “return to form” while hocking credit cards and lingerie (think Dylan in ’61 vs. Chrysler Dylan or Raw Power Iggy vs. Iggy by Gap).

If Tom Waits is that precarious line, Flaco is on the legit side of it.

It is generally the affliction of the supremely skilled that they be relegated to the used bins of popular culture. Flaco is one such musician. When he dies, he will be celebrated in San Quilmas as the brilliant conversationalist that he is.

But no one beyond our environs will really know what just happened.

Not on a national scale. And this is a glorious gift.

This anonymity is an affirmation of his aptitude and musical vocabulary. Jack White wants to be Keith Richards, who wants to be Chuck Berry who wants to get paid

TIM MOSENFELDER

HARROD BLANK

Born in 1931 in eastern Germany, Chris Strachwitz was an unlikely candidate for becoming a leading field recorder in American music. But since he first put Lightnin’ Hopkins on tape in 1960, Strachwitz has occupied a vital space in roots music, recording the local styles of America on his label Arhoolie Records. Named after a type of field holler, the Arhoolie catalog is one of the richest collections of American folk ever assembled. With This Ain’t No Mouse Music! documentarians Chris Simon and Maureen Gosling provided an in-depth feature on the one-of-a-kind label and its 83-year-old impresario.

and fuck white girls. That’s why Chuck is the man, Keith is dope and Jack is scurrying after them.

And then there’s Flaco. The music behind the marketing; the skill behind the swagger; the playing behind the posturing.

I don’t respect Flaco Jiménez because the Grammys gave him a Lifetime Achievement Award after 67 years of playing masterful accordion, but because he spent those 67 years in relative obscurity, as a master, playing for beer, tacos, pretty women and some spending money. I have never sat down and had a beer with the man (though this is my formal invitation), but I don’t think Flaco gives a shit about being as big as any of the artists that seek him out to color their records with the hues of his authenticity.

That, to me, is why Flaco is great. That is why his solo records are great. That is why The Texas Tornados are great. That is why Los Texmaniacs con Flaco Jiménez are great. That is why San Antonio is great. The Stones, the group credited with pushing Flaco through to the (white, non-Texan) mainstream with 1994’s Voodoo Lounge, are pleased to take your $70 for nosebleeds to watch Mick gyrate on the Jumbotron, but you can see Flaco, nuestro maestro, at Rosedale Park for $12. And that’s steep for a Flaco gig.

sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 49

MUSIC

SARAH BROOKE LYONS

AFTER THE STORM Nicolette Good’s Little Boat Sails Through Heavy Adversity JAMES COURTNEY

On Friday night, folk songstress extraordinaire Nicolette Good, one of San Antonio’s strongest young talents, will present her sophomore album, Little Boat on a Wave. The album, which follows up Good’s exquisite and widely-lauded 2012 release Monarch, is a breezy yet thoroughly engaging Americana gem.

On Little Boat, Good casts off with a confident and deliberate stride, her vocal delivery and her songwriting prowess now even sharper and more nuanced than before. Eschewing distracting production polish and laborious language, Good’s approach on this effort is hallmarked by the powerful kind of simplicity that comes with artistic maturity.

The album’s title track is, for my money, Good’s finest song to date, taking on the reverent spirit of an underdog prayer without ever coming off as hokey.

Meanwhile, the island-flavored “Aloha” is easily the most fun she’s had on a record. But I’m getting ahead of myself — before you get to know the Little Boat, you’ll want to appreciate the waters it’s had to navigate.

First, it bears noting that most songs on the new album were written, finished or inspired during a residency at The Lighthouse Works in New York State. The residency program, which in Good’s case took place in November and December of 2013, is held on the remote and beautiful Fisher’s Island and is designed to give promising artists the solitude and support necessary to take their craft to the next level.

Good, 30, told the San Antonio Current in a phone interview that the experience was “a chance to test out the question: what would it be like to do music 24 hours a day?” In her purposeful isolation she realized that she is “the same songwriter here as [she] was there.”

She continued: “I mean, going away, traveling can be inspiring, but it’s not a cure all. The same demons and hang-ups 50 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

and quirks follow me everywhere I go.”

Returning from her residency, Good took her time before beginning work on Little Boat with Joe Reyes (Buttercup, Mitch Webb and The Swindles) in April 2014. Of her decision to record in Reyes’ home studio, rather than return to Austin’s Ramble Creek where she recorded Monarch, Good explained that she “wanted this album to feel more natural and organic, like one of [her] live shows.” While she’s proud of Monarch — with good reason — she felt that it was “more affected and produced than some of these songs warranted.”

It was December 2014, while she was beginning initial album release plans and touring in Texas, that Good hit turbulent tides. After becoming extremely ill at a few tour stops, Good was treated for what doctors believed to be a sinus infection. In the following weeks, her headache persisted and she began to experience strange feelings under her scalp. She went to the emergency room with a “ridiculously high fever” and a “violent headache” twice during the week of Christmas before doctors finally diagnosed her with a rare brain infection.

“I spent the next twelve days in the hospital and even after that it took weeks for me to be able to walk and shower and perform normal tasks. My mom essentially had to be by my side the whole time,” she said. “Then, just as I was starting to feel better, new symptoms cropped up and I went back to the ER. It turned out I had an abscess in my brain.”

On April 22, Good went back in for one final operation (that’s three if you’re keeping count), this time to fix a lingering hole in her scalp that was “a little too big for [her] liking.” Today, she’s ready to present her album, which now seems thematically prescient in an uncanny way.

Of the album’s hopeful title song, Good told the Current: “Even though [she] wrote it beforehand, it kind of became an anthem for that whole

Nicolette Good is back with Little Boat on a Wave after recovering from three brain surgeries.

experience.”

She added: “It’s great because every time I play it live, people come up to me and seem to relate. It’s not necessarily a religious song, but I’ve had people tell me it feels like a prayer. I’ve even

Nicolette Good album release show feat.

RANCH \ HOUSE Free 9pm Fri, May 15 Rosella Coffee Co. 203 E. Jones St. (210) 277-8574 rosellacoffee.com

had people send me their own prayers. It’s wonderful because those deep connections to the audience are the reason I write and play music. The song definitely seemed to portend the kind of outlook I would need.”

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sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 51

SAN ANTONIO’S NEWEST BAR ON ST. MARY’S STRIP

VISIT THEAMPROOM.COM FOR MUSIC LINE UP Happy Hour 4-7pm Mon-Fri • $1 Off All Beers • $2.50 Infusions

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52 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

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ic Mon W Mus ed e v F Li

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16

Minus the Bear

Perpetually broke indie rockers rejoice! Minus the Bear is the living, ursine proof that if you put in the work, with a lithe guitar tone and crisp songwriting, you too can achieve relative financial stability. Founded in 2001, the Seattle outfit released a few critiqueproof records in the mid-aughts filled with quirky song names like “Absinthe Party at the Fly Honey Warehouse.” With just enough guitar-taps to attract the prog-guitar nerds without off-putting everyone else, the band has attracted a wide following. And because of their catholic indie approval, Minus the Bear is knocking hard on Billboard’s door, with its most recent album Infinity Overhead debuting at the 31st spot on the chart. With Into It. Over It. $23-$28, 7pm, Josabi’s, 17200 TX-16, Helotes, (210) 372-9100, josabis.com — Matt Stieb

Orig ina l

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Happy Hour 6-9pm Howie Day Maine singer-songwriter Howie Day is best known for his 2004 ballad “Collide,” a platinum hit to launch the save-room-for-Jesus slowdancing of a million hormone-racked teens. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm

Madonna Vs. Crystal Castles Night The musical marriage of the ’80s pop queen Madonna with indie-approved electronica outfit Crystal Castles seems odd to say the least, but considering Crystal Castles’ use of Madonna’s image (complete with a gnarly black eye) as its logo, it suddenly makes more sense. In honor of the controversy and legal disputes over the logo, spinners JustAngel & Dantes Prayer will “celebrate” the two with a rockin’ dance party. Web House, 10pm

Master Since 1983, Chicago outfit Master has created virulent death metal. With Solstice, Dismemberment, Hate Storm Annihilation. The Korova, 8pm

Midtown Jazz Sound Drummer John

Fernandez, leader of Midtown Jazz Sound, returns to Soho for the sixth year of residency at the downtown club.

Soho, 10:30pm

Thieving Birds The Ancira Chrysler

Jeep Dodge Ram Live Music Series returns for 2015, with proceeds going to the San Antonio Food Bank. Last year, the concert series raised 93,458 pounds of food through its free summer programming. This year, Fort Worth trio

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Thursday, May 14

Alexei Martov Montreal rock ‘n’ roller

Alexei Martov creates breakbeat funk with a sandy vocal texture reminiscient of Tom Waits on tunes like “Way of the Crow.” With Chasca. 502 Bar, 9pm

Captain Kirk Covington Drummer Kirk

Covington may be known best for his three-decade career with LA jazz fusion outfit Tribal Tech, though his solo strides are just as exhilarating. With Rene Saenz.

Carmens de la Calle, 8:30pm

Lynnwood King SA frontman Lynnwood

Open 3p-2a Everyday • Happy Hour 3-7pm Daily

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King ditches The Heroine for this quiet evening at the former punk spot. Viva Tacoland, 8pm

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Justin Townes Earle, Bekah Kelso The

son of country artist Steve Earle, Justin Townes Earle takes vivid snapshots of American life on his two most recent (and best) efforts, Single Mothers and Absent Fathers. SA songwriter Bekah Kelso’s last effort, Within the Shifting Shade, was a glossy and beaming thing, like a portrait under soft box light. For the 2015 album No Stranger, Kelso went with a quick and honest snapshot of a band in the natural light of a practice room. Kelso guides her band the Fellas through a low-key, high-grade album, full of barroom rock ‘n’ roll and relaxed soul.

Aztec Theatre, 7pm

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sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 53

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sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 55

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MUSIC

Killah Priest Cerebral MC and Wu-Tang

ally Killah Priest is rappin’ in the name of a higher power. With one album and two mixtapes released so far in ’15, Killah Priest’s political rhymes bite as hard as they did during his start in the early ‘90s. With Gensu Dean, DJ Notion.

Fitzgerald’s, 9pm

Roger Clyne Duo Tempe, Arizona native

Roger Clyne pens classic, fists-in-the-air rock ‘n’ roll. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm

The Suite feat. DJ Gibb and Donnie Dee Two of SA’s finest soul and funk

jockeys deliver a Thursday night soundtrack in original funky drummers.

Southtown 101, 10pm

Friday, May 15

Aurelio Voltaire Born in Havana,

Aurelio Voltaire combines the traditions of cabaret and Halloween. With Ego Likeness, Shadow Fashion. The Korova, 8pm

Dokken In the narcissistic fashion of hair

metal, in 1978, singer Don Dokken named his outfit after his last name and took off for the top of the charts. Side note: the video for “In My Dreams” is a minor work of ’80s visual art, featuring hair-whipping in the rain, amazing green screen shots and just barely visible holes in the ozone layer courtesy of all the cans of hair spray.

Alamo City Music Hall, 7pm

Elias Haslanger and Church on Monday On Church on Monday LIVE at the Gallery, Austin saxophonist Elias Haslanger leads his band through Blue Note boogaloo and straight-ahead standards, featuring Jake Langley on guitar, Daniel Durham on bass and Scott Laningham on drums. On organ, Dr. James Polk, Austin legend and former arranger for Ray Charles, brings a soulful, full-bodied punch. Artpace, 8pm

Henry + The Invisibles SA’s own Henry +

the Invisibles continues to turn in nothing but spectacularly soulful, ridiculously costumed one-man shows. Rebar, 10pm

Jerry Jeff Walker Texas legend Jerry Jeff

Walker’s shows may have weathered and eroded into an aural equivalent of a Panama hat, Hawaiian shirt and single of “Cheeseburger in Paradise” or the son of a bitch may still have it. And he did, once, do it as well as the best. He danced with that sweet devil called rock ‘n’ roll in the pale moonlight. He ate her out in the back of a ’72 Cadillac, and she loved it. She cried for more. She cried “JERRY JEFF!” Gruene Hall, 7pm

Mozart Violin Concerto Violinist Jennifer Koh revisits San Antonio to perform Mozart’s 4th Violin Concerto. Tobin Center, 8pm

The Contortionist Indianapolis’ The

Contortionist sits at the intersection of post-hardcore and progressive metal, driven forward by the vital drummer Joey Baca. With Chon, Auras. Jack’s Bar, 6pm

Two Tons of Steel Led by songwriter Kevin

Geil, band Two Tons of Steel has over 20 years of country rock ‘n’ roll under its belt.

Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm

Turnpike Troubadours, Cody Canada & The Departed Red dirt up-and-comers

Turnpike Troubadours made a solid Billboard debut with 2012’s Goodbye Normal Street, reaching No. 14 on the country charts and No. 57 on pop.

Cody Canada shaped the Texas/red dirt sound with his long-running band Cross Canadian Ragweed, exploring a decidedly non-Nashville brand of country rock. From the mid ’90s until last year they played a kind of hippy honky-tonk rock that blends loose-limbed jams with barroom country and ’70s conceptual arena rock. With The Departed on hiatus, Canada opened a new chapter with the Departed. With Shinyribs. Floore’s Country Store, 7pm

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May 21 Pat Green & Cory Morrow

Saturday, May 16

Dig! Polymathic art gallery/DIY space K23

Gallery hosts this record show with $5 early bird entry from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m., $3 regular admission from 12 p.m. to 2 p.m. and free admission after 2 p.m. K23 Gallery, 10am

May 31 Huey Lewis & The News

Filibusta From Fillmore Indiana, EDM

producer Filibusta creates lush and funky dance music with an overdose of bass.

502 Bar, 9pm

Joe Ely With an adjunct gig singing backup for The Clash and his tenure with Los Super Seven, cowboy rock ‘n’ roller Joe Ely already has an unrivaled resume among Texas Music Hall of Famers. With his newest release, B4 84, Ely separates himself from his Lone Star peers with a musical and technological anomaly: an album made on the Apple II computer, recorded over a decade before the idea of personal computers took off. With a New Wave foundation on keys and drums meeting Ely’s Amarillo rock ‘n’ roll, B4 84 plays like the soundtrack to an unmade Tarantino space-western or a Lone Star reboot of Repo Man. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm

June 13 Steve Earle & The Dukes

June 14 Dwight Yoakam

Mat Kearney With soundtracking

appearances all over network television (30 Rock, One Tree Hill, Scrubs), it’s only a matter of time before pop songwriter Mat Kearney breaks into platinum territory. With Judah & the Lion. Aztec Theatre, 7pm

June 19 Aaron Lewis

14492 Old Bandera Rd

Helotes, TX • 210-695-8827 For tickets: liveatfloores.com

sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 57

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MUSIC

The Drum Beat Of Vacation Don’t worry,

it’s not the name of Jimmy Buffet’s new combination taco/grain alcohol fast food joint. With a large rhythmic section and the Greater San Antonio Chamber Choir, The Drum Beat Of Vacation explores the rhythms of Ysaye Barnwell, a longtime member of Sweet Honey in the Rock, as well as Irish mouth music, music from Africa (“Siyahamba”), and the music of Cuba and Haiti. Tobin Center, 8pm

Sunday, May 17

Carmina Burana Written by clergy

members, Carmina Burana is a collection of medieval poems and dramatic texts from the 11th through 13th centuries. In 1936, German composer Carl Orff set 24 of the poems to music, quickly becoming standards in the classical repetoire. Undoubtedly, you know the piece’s most famous snippet “O Fortuna.” Used everywhere from Last of the Mohicans to Jackass, the Washington Redskins intro song to a Domino’s commercial, the epic choral composition has become something of a cliché in pop culture’s understanding of classical music, an unfortunate status because the piece is truly badass. YOSA Music Director Troy Peters will conduct a massive choir including the San Antonio Choral Society, the Children’s Chorus of San Antonio and several other local choirs. Tobin Center, 7pm.

musicians whose claim to a doctorate is just a nickname (looking at you, Dr. Lonnie Smith) and others who have won honorary degrees (congrats, Sonny Rollins!), Brent ‘Doc’ Watkins has a doctorate in music from UT Austin. It’s a degree he’s put to good use, swinging viciously on his piano or Hammond B3 rig. Esquire Tavern, 3pm

ic Mon W Mus ed ve i F L

Sat ri

Ha a-7 ppy Hour 11

p

bellwether of creativity and queer art in San Antonio, Saakred has stepped into new territory with Make Believe, a vision of taut and emotional rock ‘n’ roll. San Antonio septet Los De Esta Noche are mockingbirds of style, picking up on genres and spitting them back with accuracy and attitude. On the new, self-titled album, the nocturnal homies take a swing at cumbia, ska, rocksteady and Tex-Mex rockabilly, trading Spanish for English as gracefully as they swap out their rhythms. Alamo Music Center, 6:30pm

Doc Watkins Trio Unlike some jazz

Orig ina l

Saakred, Los De Esta Noche A

Fred Eaglesmith Since the ’80s, guitarist

Fred Eaglesmith has been keeping the Candian country tradition alive. With Tif Gin. Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm

4032 Vance Jackson

Monday, May 18

Jim Cullum Jazz Band Playing the music of King Oliver, Louis Armstrong, Sidney Bechet and Bix Beiderbecke, cornetist Jim Cullum is a leader among a growing community of trad jazz players. Tucker’s Kozy Korner, 7-10pm

Ortega Jazz Band Crooner Robert Ortega hosts the Swing Night at Sam’s with his backing quartet riffing through the fake book. Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm

Small World Led by drummer Kyle Keener and guitarist Polly Harrison, Small World places world music in the jazz setting.

The band features music from the Great American Songbook and bossa nova sung in the original Portuguese. Olmos Bharmacy, 7:30pm

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Tuesday, May 19

Ila Minori Gliding between her native

San Antonio and her second home in Italy, Ila Minori is going back to her roots. Minori’s worldly singer-songwriter dynamic and pristine, sing-song vocals work either intimately or with a fullpiece band, showing wisdom beyond her years. With Collective Dreams, Pink Leche. Hi-Tones, 9pm

Strung Out Signed to punk label Fat Wreck Chords (owned by NOFX’s Fat Mike), Strung Out creates wide-eyed Southern California pop-punk. The Korova, 7pm

502 Bar 502 Embassy Oaks, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com Alamo City Music Hall 1305 E. Houston, alamocitymusichall.com Alamo Music Center 425 N. Main, alamomusic.com Artpace 445 N. Main, (210) 212-4900, artpace.com Aztec Theatre 201 E. Commerce, (210) 760-2196, theaztectheatre.com Esquire Tavern 155 E. Commerce, (210) 222-2521, esquiretavern-sa. com Fitzgeralds 437 McCarty, (210) 629-5141, Floore’s Country Store 14492 Old Bandera, Helotes, (210) 695-8827, liveatfloores.com Gruene Hall 1281 Gruene, New Braunfels, (830) 606-1281, gruenehall.com Hi-Tones 621 E. Dewey, (210) 573-6220 Jack’s Bar 3030 Thousand Oaks, (210) 494-2309, jacksbarsa.com K23 Gallery 704 Fredericksburg, (210) 776-5635 Olmos Bharmacy 3902 McCullough, (210) 822-1188, olmosrx.com Paper Tiger 2410 N. St. Mary’s, papertiger. queueapp.com Rebar 8134 Broadway, (210) 320-4091, rebarsatx.com Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson, (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com Soho 214 W. Crockett, (210) 444-1000 Southtown 101 101 Pereida Street, (210) 263-9880 The Korova 107 E. Martin, (210) 226-5070, thekorova.com The Mix 2423 N. St. Mary’s, (210) 735-1313 Tobin Center 100 Auditorium, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org Tucker’s Kozy Korner 1338 E. Houston, (210) 320-2192, tuckerskozykorner.com Viva Tacoland 103 W. Grayson, (210) 368-2443, vivatacoland.com Web House 320 Blanco, (210) 531-0100

sacurrent.com • May 13-19, 2015 • CURRENT 59

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YOUR EVENT TRHOUGH OUR LENS

My wife is one of those women who need manual stimulation of her clit during sex to climax.

Before meeting her, I had several long-term girlfriends, and not one needed to do this in order to climax. Before we got married, I explained that I wanted to explore and push the boundaries, and she promised me that would happen.

But she has no fantasies, kinks, or fetishes, and she’s not into any of the things I’ve proposed. Bringing this all together is that when we are having sex, she’s so fixated on stimulating her clit, it’s almost like we are in two different worlds.

When she’s working toward an orgasm, her eyes are shut and she’s concentrating on the rubbing — whether she’s doing it or I am — and I can’t help but wonder if the work it takes to get her to orgasm is part of the reason she’s not interested in exploring. I’ve talked to her several times about how I’m yearning to do more, but I haven’t brought up my thoughts on how the way she comes may be affecting things.

Come As You Are My thoughts, in no particular order…

1. Three out of four women need direct, focused, and sometimes intense stimulation of their clit in order to climax — sailing a dick up the vaginal canal isn’t going to do it for most women — so either you lucked out and all of your previous girlfriends were 25 percenters or many/most/ all of your previous girlfriends were faking it.

2. I’ve never met a man who wasn’t fixated on stimulating his dick during sex and/or having his dick stimulated for him during sex.

3. If your wife is picking up on your negativity about the way her pussy works, that could negatively impact her enthusiasm for sex in general and sex with you in particular.

4. Your wife is fantasizing about something when she closes her eyes and starts rubbing her clit.

You might be able to have more productive conversations about your sex life — and your desire for a more adventurous one — if you drew her out about what’s going on in her head when she’s getting off. Tell her how sexy she looks, tell her you would love to know what she’s thinking about, tell her how hot her fantasy is if she opens up about it (and don’t freak out if she’s not fantasizing about you), carefully build on her fantasy with some dirty talk. Once she opens up about whatever it is that’s unspooling in her head, you can suggest realizing her fantasies in real life — and a few of yours as well.

5. And… um… lastly… Your wife may need to block you out — she may need to clamp her eyes shut — in order to climax because… um… she may not be sexually attracted to you. That’s harsh, I realize, and I hope that’s not the case. But if marital sex for her is a joyless exercise — she gets you off then clamps her eyes shut and gets herself off — then this is a problem that can’t be fixed, and spending the next five decades trying to fix it will be both futile and frustrating.

Here’s hoping your wife’s issue is something more common and something that can be fixed — she’s sexually repressed but can work through it, this clamp-eyes-and-rub-clit routine was her masturbatory go-to for years but you two can find new and exciting ways to get her off. Those new and exciting ways to get her off will most likely require her to fixate on stimulating her clit — and that’s OK. Don’t miss Sherman Alexie on the Savage Lovecast: savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net

ETC

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones

Answer on page 21

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1 “Girls” airer 4 CBS drama set in Vegas 7 Brewpub category 12 “The Hurt Locker” setting 14 Abbr. in real estate ads 15 Round number?

17 In ___ (in its original place) 18 Letters in an oval on bumper stickers 19 Painful spasms 20 With 25-Across, 37-Across, 48-Across and 57-Across, late night partier’s quote 23 Monopoly’s Water Works or Electric Company, for short 24 Soaks flax 25 See 20-Across 29 “Ghostbusters” director Reitman 33 “In ___” (1993 Nirvana album) 34 Ft. Worth school 35 Defendant’s plea, for short 36 Upper limit 37 See 20-Across 41 Op. ___ (footnote abbr.)

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rapper Flo ___ 48 See 20-Across 51 Trier trio 53 Admit honestly 54 See 20-Across 60 1960s Olympic track star ___ Tyus 61 A billion years, in astronomy 62 Pampers rival 64 Took a leap 65 “Atlas Shrugged” author Rand 66 Faucet annoyance 67 “___ Macabre” (SaintSaens work) 68 “I Really Like You” singer Carly ___ Jepsen 69 Zapper target

DOWN

1 That dude’s 2 Man from Manchester 3 Hippocratic thing 4 Prefix meaning “skull” 5 “Freedom” doesn’t have it, but “freedom” does 6 Words before “old chap” 7 Like a fugitive 8 Kind of shutout, in baseball 9 Submits 10 Overly excited 11 “Man, is it humid in here!”

13 Line former

16 Mao’s middle name?

21 First of four Holy Roman Emperors 22 “Baywatch” actress Bingham 25 David Sedaris forte 26 Brand of console with joysticks and paddles 27 Irked 28 Bygone rechargeable bike brand 30 Shorter word list?

31 Hanging in there 32 Prominent 38 “Titanic” passenger class 39 Cup of legend 40 Swamp reptile 43 He can’t be whacked without a sit-down 46 Throw caution to the wind 49 Michael and Janet’s sister 50 Miss ___ (“Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” character) 52 Comes down heavy 54 “Lookit how cute!” sounds 55 Big Apple enforcement org.

56 Swiper tries to swipe from her 57 The next palindromic one won’t be until 2112 58 Catch a wave, brah 59 Like a goateed twin?

63 Secret Squirrel, e.g.

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ETC

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19):

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22):

The danger of resisting a temptation too strenuously is that the temptation might depart. I suggest that you prevent that from happening. Without throwing yourself at the mercy of the temptation, see if you can coax it to stick around for a while longer. Why? In my view, it’s playing a useful role in your life.

It’s motivating you to change some things that really do need to be changed. On the other hand, I’m not yet sure that it should become anything more than a temptation. It might serve you best that way, not as an object of your satisfied desire.

British Field Marshal Arthur Wellesley was a brilliant military commander. Renowned for his ability to beat larger armies, he also had great skill at minimizing loss of life among his own troops. His most famous triumph took place in 1815, when he led the forces that defeated Napoleon Bonaparte at Waterloo.

In the aftermath, the French tyrant lost his power and went into exile. What was the secret of Wellesley’s success? “Bonaparte’s plans were made in wire,” he said. “Mine were made in string.” In other words, Wellesley’s strategy was more flexible and adaptable. As circumstances changed, it could be rearranged with greater ease. That’s the approach I recommend for you in the coming days.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): My astrological colleagues discourage me from talking to you Bulls about financial matters. “Most Tauruses know ten times more about the mystery of money than you will ever know,” said one. “Their excellent instincts trump any tips you could offer.”

Another astrologer concurred, noting, “The financial advice you give Tauruses will at best be redundant and at worst simplistic.” A third colleague summed it up: “Offering Tauruses guidance about money is like counseling Scorpios about sex.” So although I’m shy about providing recommendations, I will say this: The next five weeks will be a favorable time to set in motion the plans to GET RICHER QUICKER! GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): “Endings to be useful must be inconclusive,” wrote science fiction novelist Samuel R. Delany. I endorse that theory for your use in the coming weeks. Interweave it with this advice from playwright Sam Shepard: “The temptation towards resolution, towards wrapping up the package, seems to me a terrible trap. Why not be more honest with the moment? The most authentic endings are the ones which are already revolving towards another beginning.” In other words, Gemini, don’t be attached to neat finales and splashy climaxes. Consider the possibility that you can simply slip free of the complicated past and head toward the future without much fanfare.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): In mythic terms, you should be headed for the winner’s circle, which is inside the pleasure dome. The parade in your honor should follow the award ceremony, and let’s hope you will be on the lead float wearing a gold crown and holding a real magic wand while being sung to by a choir of people you love and who love you. If for any reason you are not experiencing some version of these metaphors, I urge you to find out why. Or better yet, get busy on planning a homecoming or graduation party or award ceremony for yourself. From an astrological perspective, you have a mandate to be recognized and appreciated for the gifts you offer the world.

64 CURRENT • May 13-19, 2015 • sacurrent.com

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): You may not be strong enough to take a shot at a daunting challenge that’s five levels beyond your previous best. But I think you are at least ready to try a tricky challenge that’s one level higher than where you have been operating.

And that, in my opinion, is a more practical use of your courage. I think it would be a waste of your energy to get wrapped up in grandiose fantasies about impossible perfections.

As long as you don’t overreach, you can accomplish small miracles.

and actual opposites. I invite you to use this aptitude with flair and daring.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21):

weeks. For the sake of your mental hygiene, be extra discerning about what influences you absorb -- not just in bed, but everywhere.

Sagittarian Matt Stutzman competes in the sport of archery. He’s the world’s record holder for longest accurate shot, having hit a target 230 yards away. What makes his accomplishment so extraordinary is the fact that he was born without any arms. He holds each arrow in his mouth and grasps the bow with his right foot and the help of a chest harness. In the spirit of this armless archer, and in accordance with your current astrological omens, I invite you to initiate an attempt to triumph over one of your so-called disadvantages.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18):

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19):

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20):

Long before Lou Reed recorded the song “Walk on the Wild Side,” Nelson Algren wrote a novel titled A Walk on the Wild Side. It depicts the luxuriant depravity of New Orleans’ French Quarter in the 1930s. One of Algren’s most enduring bits of spiritual advice goes as follows: “Never, ever, no matter what else you do in your whole life, never sleep with anyone whose troubles are worse than your own.” What do you think of that, Capricorn? Even if you don’t regard it as a universal rule that you should unfailingly obey, I suggest you observe it in the coming

Is there an interesting ally whose path rarely crosses yours? Do you draw inspiration from a like-minded dynamo who is not fully available?

Has fate kept you and a friend from getting as close as you would wish? According to my reading of the astrological omens, relationships like these could become more substantial in the coming weeks. The dream of a more robust connection could ripen into an opportunity to actually collaborate. So be alert for the openings, and be prepared to do what’s necessary to go deeper.

The cosmos has authorized you to be hungrier than usual. You may also feel free to respond to your enhanced hunger with an extra aggressive quest to be fed. Therefore: Be voracious! Risk being avid, ardent, and even agog. Fill yourself up with pudding, pleasure, praise, peace, perks, and privileges. Anything else you’d like to engorge?

If some unenlightened person questions your right to claim the biggest piece and the sweetest taste and the best fuel, inform them that your astrologer says you have ultimate permission.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): I suspect you are about to experience some prime contenders for The Most Unusual Adventures of 2015. Are you thoroughly prepared? Of course not. There’s no way you can be totally ready to adapt to unpredictable wrinkles and change your mind at a moment’s notice. But that’s exactly what will make these experiments so fun. That’s why they will be effective in building up your resilience and willpower. For best results, apply your nighttime thinking to daytime activities, and vice versa. Spend minimal time on responsibilities that don’t teach you noble truths about your fellow madmen and madwomen. Now here’s my big question: How can you tap into the extra power you will need during your rite of passage?

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): Many modern astronomers are allergic to astrology, but from my perspective there is no inherent conflict between the two fields.

Four of history’s greatest astronomers were practicing astrologers, after all: Johannes Kepler, Galileo Galilei, Tycho Brahe, and Pierre Gassendi. One of my friends in college, a Scorpio woman named Martha Maiden, is a first-rate astrologer who got a degree in astronomy and became a top scientist at NASA. In the spirit of finding reconciliation between apparent opposites, I’m happy to say that you are now a virtual virtuoso in your ability to reconcile both apparent opposites

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